Rough Cut (1980) Movie Script
To my lovely bride
on our first anniversary!
Hi, Jack.
Oh, God. Balloons.
Who cares about balloons?
I'm not interested in balloons.
Are you wondering what I'd like to do?
The night's yours.
Jack, let's dance. Shall we dance?
Let's have some more champagne.
Darling, you wouldn't fetch me
more champers, would you?
Hello.
Well, you lead one a very merry chase.
Very merry indeed.
You can't be serious.
I've never been more serious in my life.
Why are you imitating Tony Curtis?
I'm not imitating Tony Curtis.
I'm imitating Cary Grant.
You're doing Tony Curtis doing Cary Grant.
Cary Grant doesn't even do
Cary Grant anymore.
But I thought--
See, I thought it would be
a nice way to meet you.
Original, but I suggest
you do someone else.
I do a great Jack Rhodes.
-Who's he?
-Me.
Very good.
-You do an excellent Jack Rhodes.
-Thank you.
-Who are you?
-Gillian Bromley.
I always loved that name.
I hoped you would.
Gillian. Sounds like an amount.
You know, the first thing after a billion.
Jack, darling, come meet Sir Samuel.
Sir Samuel Sacks, this is Jack Rhodes.
Sir Samuel.
What do you think of our Sheila, eh?
Used to bounce her on my knee.
Dirty old bugger.
Yeah. She's quite
a little bouncer, Sheila.
Sheila, Sir Samuel, I'd like you to meet--
Take me to the food, my dear.
I shall perish without immediate gluttony.
Of course, darling.
How gorgeous. Who are you?
-Jack Rhodes.
-You're American.
Yes. Not my fault.
Been here long?
I live here.
See, darling? Some of them have taste.
Anyone in there?
Anyone in there?
I must go to the loo. I'm bursting.
Come on.
I'm bursting.
I must go to the loo. Come on.
Oh, blast.
Scarlett, I missed you.
You're not leaving?
-I rather thought I was.
-Alone?
For the moment. Good night.
But it's so early.
I'm afraid I'm not too keen
on large parties.
We could find a small one.
We could be a small one.
-I'm not doing too well, am I?
-Not at the moment.
An hors cf oeuvre? Petit four? Petit five?
I know. A cigarette.
-Mr. Rhodes, it's really--
-I think you'll like one of these.
Can I call you?
-I'm in the book.
-So am I.
Which one, Guinness?
Several times.
And I will see you again.
I take it you always manage
to get what you want.
-Good night, Mr. Rhodes.
-You said that.
I can't say good night to you
often enough.
Jack.
Jack, darling, where are you?
Sheila, you're gonna have to do
something about your shyness.
I'm going to eat you up.
And who can blame you?
-Now, I have to find my key, okay?
-I'll help you find it.
-Evening, Mr. Rhodes.
-Good evening, Mr. Foxworth.
-I'll help you find--
-We're just hunting for my key.
Lovely evening for it.
-I've got it!
-Good.
I've got it.
Why don't we just work our way up
to you being down there?
You've put mirrors on the ceiling.
You naughty, naughty boy.
They go all the way around.
You must be very active.
What a sensational view.
Where is it?
It's my apartment.
Good idea.
What do you like best?
Tell me. What would you like?
Well, I think a new shirt would be fine.
Why don't we go slower?
You know, by the numbers.
I think it'd be much more fun.
Nice.
Do you sleep here?
No. I sleep up there.
Then we'll stay here.
Hold it.
I mean, don't move.
Hello. What are you doing here?
Robbing you.
Don't go away.
-Checkmate.
-Right.
I thought I heard voices.
Of course you did. That was you and I.
Because there's nobody else here.
-Right?
-Right.
There's nobody else here.
Well, good night.
Thank you for a perfect evening.
-Was I good?
-Wonderful.
-But I only just got here.
-Did you?
I think so.
I had too much to drink, didn't I?
You don't like that, I know.
That's all right.
Give me another chance.
Let me throw up.
How sweet.
You don't have to do that for me, really.
Waldo.
I'm terribly sorry, darling.
-I wouldn't be any good to you.
-Pardon me, sir?
I'm not talking to you, Waldo.
Send me one of your better taxis.
- Thanking you, sir.
-Thank you.
What do you mean?
I was injured in the war.
Not many people know about it.
-Oh, darling.
-Yes.
A bit of a sticky wicket,
but somehow I manage.
I can help you.
Let me try.
No, no, no. Wouldn't be any good.
You see, I--
I have to strap things on.
Besides, all my batteries are dead.
It'd be a mess.
-Well, you have to go.
-Will you call me?
Yes. Of course. I'll call you every day.
-Every day.
-Bless you.
Bless you.
Well, onward and upward.
Are you decent?
Would you be so kind
as to hand me a shirt?
I take it she's left.
Yes. Gone off to join a monastery.
Like to step outside, or do you want me
to get a couple of chairs
and come in there with you?
I don't want to seem ungrateful,
but how did you get in?
A skeleton key.
You just walked past the doorman,
I assume.
Doormen are always asleep.
Poor Waldo. He died about three years ago.
We haven't had the heart to tell him.
-Did you find what you were looking for?
-I wasn't looking for anything special.
Just so long as it costs a fortune.
To even the score, you might say.
I see.
Perhaps you were looking for this.
-How did you do it?
-Cigarette?
Where are the diamonds?
Little black box, second drawer,
left-hand side, a secret compartment.
-How do I know you're not lying?
-You don't.
-What is your game, Mr. Rhodes?
-No, no, no.
It's my place, my bed, my questions.
What's your game?
I steal things.
You with the Acme Robbery Company?
-I just take things, that's all.
-Why?
Because it's exciting and dangerous.
-Not for the money?
-No.
You're a kleptomaniac.
-How brilliant.
-Well, it's very common.
I'm terribly sorry it's not more stylish.
You know why you do it?
Well, I have--
Is this going to be long?
It's love you really want.
Attention, tenderness.
You steal to compensate,
to fill a void in your life.
-Void?
-Yes. Void.
It's a classic syndrome,
but I think I can help.
Well, maybe I'll just go and steal
a good book on the subject.
You can't go yet.
Blackmail.
-Only as a first resort.
When will I see you again?
-When's good for you?
-Tomorrow night.
Friday's better.
I was gonna get married Friday, but I can
put it off for a couple of weeks.
-Dinner?
-Lunch would be easier.
Lunch would be fine.
I'll pick you up around noon, okay?
You won't forget my corsage?
It can be your treat.
You want good food or just expensive?
Both.
And you might find that you need this.
Tweed jacket, inside pocket.
One of the first places we look.
Good night again, Mr. Rhodes.
Hello?
Hello?
No. It's perfectly all right.
How did it go?
Lunch on Friday?
Oh, lovely. What a wonderful start.
You'd better pop around tomorrow.
10:00-ish?
Yes. I want to hear all the details.
I'm very pleased, my dear.
Very pleased and very grateful.
Good night, my dear.
Rather late for someone
to be calling, isn't it?
Rather an exceptional situation, dear.
She sounded beautiful.
I'm sorry she woke you.
-Is she?
-Beautiful?
More like stunning, I'd say.
I was dreaming when the phone rang.
It was the middle of August.
We were in the south of France.
-You'd taken me on holiday.
-Lovely, was it?
Not really. It was pissing down rain.
Did you read that article
in the paper today?
Which one was that?
It said, if you don't use it,
you'll lose it.
-Can't have that, can we?
-No, dear.
Come in.
Good morning, Ms. Bromley.
No calls, Pilbrow.
-Yes, sir.
-Unless it's major, of course.
Somebody telephones the queen
and starts breathing heavily,
that sort of thing.
Yes, sir.
I must say the sight of you
cheers me, my dear.
I could only say that I feel
every bit as well as you look.
Whereas I feel cheap and slimy.
Ah, yes.
Well, police work can do that to you.
My first year at it,
I almost scrubbed my hands raw.
I'm not with the police.
Just so long as you're not against us,
that's all we ask.
Now tell me, how did it go with Rhodes?
I told you on the phone.
It went exactly as you planned.
He introduced himself at the party,
and we're going out.
-On Friday?
-Absolutely.
That's splendid. About one week together
should do it, I would think.
You do presuppose, of course,
that he will want to see me again.
Modesty is boring.
False modesty puts me in a coma.
Jack Rhodes has always
been attracted to beautiful women.
Now, your very considerable looks
plus your wit and style
should rivet him for quite a time,
long enough for him to be mine.
-You may fail.
-I refuse to entertain that possibility.
You see, for the whole of my adult life,
I have been a policeman,
but soon, as comes to all who serve,
I shall be turned out to pasture.
Mandatory retirement,
a sort of capital punishment for the old.
But I would go without a whimper
if I could bag the one man
who has always eluded my reach.
I've come close.
I've come tantalizingly close.
But he's always been one step ahead.
Jack Rhodes is brilliant,
and he's smooth,
but he is also, I'm quite convinced,
the most successful
diamond thief at large today.
And the thought of being forced to retire
before I've bested him...
Forgive me. I have run on.
It helps to have a captive audience.
I prefer to think of you
as a cooperative one.
Oh, yes. I forgot.
When the police turn the screws,
it is called "cooperation."
Turning the screws?
Has anybody yet told your father
that his daughter's
light-fingered proclivities
might jeopardize his position
in the government?
Haven't I kept mum
about your long string of indiscretions?
Nice to see you, Inspector.
Do your parents live in America?
They died before I was born.
I never forgave them for it.
Are we anywhere near
the end of the runway yet?
Oh, dear. What a nuisance.
Better pull over.
You could lose your license.
I don't have a license.
It'll cost you a lot of money.
Cost me a lot more
if they find out it's a stolen car.
-You stole this car?
-Yes.
To fill a void in my life.
Excuse me for mentioning it,
but we're about to become
a hood ornament for a truck.
I don't think so.
-Did I scare you?
-No.
-Well, how am I doing?
-Swell.
Excuse me.
-Heads up!
-Jack!
Are you trying
to get rid of me or the car?
-Well, I don't need lifts.
-Or shoes.
-Does he wait?
-He waits.
-You wait.
-Right, guv'nor.
-Oh, my goodness. It's all wet.
-Yes.
Come. Here you go.
-Very nice of you.
-Yes, it is.
But it's quite unnecessary.
-You all right?
-No.
I think I hurt my tee-tee.
I'm not surprised.
-How much do you weigh?
-Eight stone, three.
You'd never know.
-Beautiful house.
-Thank you.
Is it yours?
Where'd you steal it?
The keys are under the mat.
That's a terrific hiding place.
Nobody would ever think of looking there.
Let me come in
and help you turn down the bed.
I don't think so.
I could lay out your jammies.
-I don't wear pajamas.
-I could lay out your nightgown.
I don't wear a nightgown.
You don't wear anything?
My God. I think I have to come in
and take a cold shower.
Good night.
Same time tomorrow?
Yes.
But on the other hand,
we say "tomato," and you say "tomato."
Yet you don't call a potato a "potato."
-No. Silly.
-That would be stupid to say "potato."
Yes? What would you like?
-A thin slice of that one, please.
-A thin slice of that one.
-And some gooseberries.
-And some gooseberries.
And one of those meringue tart things.
And one of those
meringue tart things.
-And for you, sir?
-Nothing for me. I'm driving.
You sure that's all you want?
You know why you ordered so many desserts?
Starved for love?
Join the club.
Six.
Thirteen.
Eighteen.
Seven, 17.
Nine, 19.
Twenty.
Come in.
-Excuse me, sir.
-Yes?
We got a little more
out of Dr. Chivers this morning.
He's told us nearly everything.
The only thing is, we don't know
where he's buried his wife's left leg.
Well, stay on it.
Because it would be a big help
if he could put Mrs. Chivers
back together before the trial.
Yes, sir.
Chief Inspector Willis's office.
It's your call to Ms. Bromley, sir.
-Get the file.
-Yes, sir.
Good morning, my dear.
All goes well, I trust.
Yes? Yes.
And tonight, as well?
Well, that's perfect.
Then I think we'll move on
to the next phase.
There is a time factor here, after all.
That's right.
You're already halfway there.
Goodbye.
-Oh, Pilbrow, to be ten years younger.
-Yes, sir.
Ten more years of this sort of power.
Good shot, sir.
They let you cook here?
They have to. I own the joint.
-Enjoy the food?
-My teeth are applauding.
Quite remarkable, aren't you?
Only quite?
You love Chinese food,
so you buy a Chinese restaurant.
That makes sense. A good investment.
You have to work very hard
not to work for a living.
You don't like work?
I saw enough of it
when I was a kid watching my folks.
I thought you were an orphan.
I was one of the lucky ones.
I had parents.
I never told them they were adopted.
You don't like being pinned down
about your past, do you?
The past bores me.
I'm only interested in now. Right now.
What about your parents?
You have the usual, one of each?
My mother was lovely.
She died five years ago.
My father-- He's not quite so lovely.
He's very cold,
except to strangers, of course.
-What's Daddy do?
-He's in the government.
High up.
Very high UP-
He's not the queen, is he?
-Shall we?
-I have to tell you something.
What?
Not tonight, all right?
All right.
Still on for tomorrow?
Lunch at Les A.
-Could we make it dinner?
-Sure.
It's better. I like the nights.
They're all yours.
Only all of them?
All of them.
-Except one.
-Why except one?
It's a very long, boring story.
I used to see a man named Maxwell Levy.
For a rather long, wonderful time
and then it ended,
mainly because his wife
didn't think it was so wonderful.
Max is senior partner with Levy and Levy,
the big diamond firm in Hatton Garden.
Several times a year,
Max sends up to a million pounds worth
of rough stones to Antwerp for cutting,
along with all the other diamond houses.
One of Max's couriers takes the stones
to some central place
where they join the others.
The idea is to keep the whole thing
very secret,
so no one is ever told
what time or, indeed, day
the shipment is due to take place.
You're right. That's a long, boring story.
What's it got to do with us?
Max always calls me
the night before the shipment is due.
He considers sleeping with me good luck.
Well, it certainly wouldn't hurt him.
He wouldn't settle for a rabbit's foot?
Lucky man, Maxwell Levy.
All those diamonds.
That's not what I meant.
I won't sleep with him. I'll only see him.
Good night.
Maybe I should sleep with Mrs. Levy.
For luck.
Ms. Bromley, I'd hoped to catch you in.
I thought I'd pop around
for a progress report.
How nice of you to call.
Do come in, Inspector.
You once described yourself
as a captive audience.
Turnabout is fair play.
Now it is I who am that to you.
Well, I told him your tale
of Maxwell Levy,
whoever in God's name he is,
the shipments to Antwerp, the lot,
and he couldn't have cared less.
Well, he could hardly
have reacted with enthusiasm.
That would've been the same as admitting
that he is what I know him to be.
I'm certain that he isn't what you
"know him to be," Inspector.
Certain?
He has everything anyone
could possibly want.
That's quite beside the point.
I told you before.
Of all the world's thieves,
this one is the most gifted.
He not only knows how to steal superbly,
but even more important,
he knows how to fence successfully.
I don't see why being able to fence them
is more important than stealing them.
The world is crammed with light-fingered
ladies and gentlemen
who never realize
more than a fraction of the value
of the merchandise
they so painstakingly purloin.
Jack Rhodes is an exception.
With his contacts,
he gets full value for his exploits.
He really is the Jack of diamonds.
I'm sure he's not interested
in committing any crime.
Great masters don't quit
at the peak of their powers.
The man is not yet 40,
with a string of successes behind him.
There's no way he's laid down his bow
or pushed aside his palette
or bronzed his baton. No.
What I think will happen
is that very soon,
he will inquire whether you haven't heard
from your old friend Mr. Levy,
and isn't it about time he called.
When that happens,
we'll know he's taken the bait.
I will let him run with the line,
because I'll give you the date
of the next shipment to Antwerp.
You will pass it on to Rhodes.
He will then spring into action.
His action, of course, triggering my own.
Yes, sir.
Listen, I did what you asked.
I fed him the information you wanted.
You go and get him to rob the courier.
Rob the courier? My dear girl.
Knowing what he would then know,
do you think Rhodes
would settle for a kidney
when he could have the whole pie?
Once he has that date,
the man is bound to go
for the entire diamond shipment.
We're dealing with a master.
I'm setting him a goal
worthy of his stature.
With all the police and the security,
he's never going to try it.
I have the greatest faith in him,
as indeed I do in you, my dear.
It doesn't trouble you that blackmail
is, in fact, against the law?
Policemen are constantly breaking the law.
It's one of the many ways
we have of upholding it.
But I give you my word.
Help me with Rhodes
and we'll wipe the slate clean.
You want to be careful with those eyes.
They could be assault
with a deadly weapon.
Hello.
Hello.
Is this the lady that sleeps naked?
-I thought we had a date this evening.
-Oh, We did.
But something came up.
See, there's this woman I know,
and the night before she races
her greyhound, she rings me up
and I talk dirty to her on the telephone.
-Brings her luck.
-Touch.
-Are you busy tomorrow?
-No, I'll be free.
-Terrific.
-Sensational.
Pick you up around 1 :00?
I'll be waiting.
By the way, I'm glad you called.
Of course you are.
-Ta-ra.
-Toodle-00.
Connors to serve, first game, first set.
15-love.
Would you like
some strawberries and champagne?
30-love.
What's the matter?
Did I say anything was?
No, but you're a loud thinker.
It was just a mood. They come and go.
This one coming or going?
Going.
I think we ought to have this lanced.
-Jack. Jack Rhodes.
-Hello, Ronnie.
-Center Court, aren't you?
-Yes.
Yes, I told you he was there.
Gillian Bromley, Ronnie Taylor.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Gillian Bromley, Jack Rhodes,
I'd like you to meet Maxwell Levy.
Ms. Bromley.
Mr. Levy.
-Mr. Rhodes.
-Great pleasure.
I'm told you own the best restaurant
in London, Mr. Rhodes.
That's what I tell everybody.
Why don't you two do a swap?
One Chinese dinner
for an order of diamonds to go.
Great idea.
We were just thinking of strolling over
to court number six,
see how young Tracy Austin's
getting along.
Why don't you two come along with us?
-You go ahead. I'll join you.
-Great.
Do you play tennis, Ms. Bromley?
-No. No, I don't.
-No. I don't either.
Beautiful, that was just beautiful.
I can see why women find him attractive.
-He's very handsome, I hear.
-What?
I said I see why women
find him attractive.
-No. You said you hear.
-Right.
What do you mean, you hear?
-You've just met him.
-Did I?
We are talking about Maxwell Levy?
I was.
Well, you just met him
with that friend of yours, Ronnie Taylor.
No, no, no, no. You met Maxwell Levy.
I met Peter Pritchard.
Lovely guy, Peter. Failed actor by trade.
Never quite made it.
Ronnie said he was born a has-been.
-An actor?
-Both of them.
They've been married for years.
They don't have any children,
as far as I know.
It's a shame. They've tried so hard.
Don't be ridiculous. Of course
you didn't hire him to play the part.
Oh, yes, I did.
For 50 pounds and the use of my body.
After I'm dead.
How did you know I didn't know him?
When you told me that story about jumping
in the sack with him for luck, I...
hoped it wasn't true.
Well, Gillian?
Do you know a man called
Chief Inspector Willis?
-Why?
-Because he knows you extremely well.
He's been on to me for some time,
but he never did anything about it.
He'd threaten to arrest me
from time to time,
but I thought he was toying with me.
I didn't know what he wanted.
It's called policeman's foreplay.
He certainly looks positively spiritual
when he discusses you.
Anyway, about a month ago,
he told me he was arranging
for us to meet.
He knew you were going to be
at the Lloyd Palmer party.
How'd he get you there?
Lloyd Palmer and my father
are old friends.
They share
a lot of the same insensitivities.
It was easy for me to be invited.
Stealing the diamonds upstairs?
-I did that on my own.
-I see.
What makes Willis so sure
I'm what he thinks I am?
Lots of things. Your whereabouts.
You appear and suddenly
diamonds disappear.
Your success in business.
Your money,
coming from no traceable source.
Is there anything I can say
that you'll believe from now on?
Why should I? You haven't been honest
with me about anything.
The way I feel about you is honest.
Sure, your mouth is crazy about me. It's
your mind that wants to send me to prison.
Don't be silly.
That's the last thing I want.
Where the hell do you think
Willis wants to send me? To summer camp?
Now what?
You tell your friend Mr. Willis
that I never mentioned
another word about Hatton Garden.
-Then?
-Then he tells Daddy
about your problem
and you go directly to jail.
Charming right to the end.
-Why didn't you go to bed with me?
-I beg your pardon?
I'm sure Willis suggested it.
It was always implicit in what he said.
It would have suited him
right down to the ground.
Then you laid down on the job.
Or rather you didn't. Why?
Because I can't do that unless I care.
And you don't.
Willis used me because he knew
of your weakness for women.
-Fondness.
-Fondness?
I had no intention of being added
to what must be
an extremely long list indeed.
I did the best I could--
All things considered,
I think you'd better come in now.
Oh, my God. That's better than speeding.
-It does have its high points, doesn't it?
-It certainly does.
-Will you tell me something?
-Sure.
If that dreadful Cary Grant approach
hadn't worked,
did you have another one up your sleeve?
Of course. I have my fail-safe approach.
What's that?
Well, if I spot a woman at a party
that's really beautiful--
Not as beautiful as you, but beautiful.
I kind of sidle up to her and I say,
"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice
you've never really been
sexually fulfilled, have you?"
She says, "Oh, boy," and walks away.
Then a few minutes later,
I walk up to her and say,
"No, I mean, have you ever fainted?"
And then I walk away.
Well, a few minutes go by.
Pretty soon her curiosity
is kind of piqued,
and pretty soon
she comes up to me and says,
"What do you mean, fainted?"
And I say, "Well, I mean,
at the end of this sexual exercise,
do you faint?
Because with me,
they always, always faint dead away."
Well, I didn't faint.
Well, it's the first time.
Wouldn't Inspector Willis
absolutely adore this?
Yes.
I think we owe him something.
You know, for bringing us together.
Something special.
-What do you suggest?
-Hatton Garden.
-You're mad.
-No, I'm not.
The only reason I haven't taken a run
at those diamonds before
is I never did know the exact date
they were being shipped to Antwerp.
I don't know why I didn't think
of asking Scotland Yard.
You're exactly what he said
you were, aren't you?
Only a little better.
I'm a collector of diamonds.
Especially diamonds
that other people have already collected.
And you've never been caught?
Rhodes-12, police...
Zero.
-Who are you calling?
-Willis.
You're calling Willis?
You're calling Willis.
Why am I calling him?
Why are you whispering?
You haven't dialed yet.
Why am I calling him?
Tell him that I mentioned
the name Maxwell Levy,
right out of the blue.
-It's ringing.
-Good.
In a sense, I won't be lying, will I?
Only in the sense
that you won't be telling the truth.
-Still ringing.
-Yeah.
You can never get a cop when you want one.
Yeah. And we don't need this one.
I'm not gonna go through with it.
-I need that date.
-Then get it yourself.
Because I'm not going to do something
that's going to put you in jail forever.
And besides,
I do not wish to be electrocuted.
You can't be electrocuted
from just six volts.
Besides, if you got such a charge
out of stealing two diamond earrings,
just think of the charge you'll get
when you steal
$30 million worth of diamonds.
So, yesterday,
Rhodes finally asked about Mr. Levy.
I never said so.
It's perfectly obvious
from your mutinous expression.
All right, he asked,
but you'll have to catch him yourself
because I'm finished.
I see.
Well, then you leave me no alternative
but to have a word with--
Oh, yes, my father.
I've come to a conclusion, Inspector.
I really don't think the government and he
would miss each other that much.
So, I think it would be a jolly good idea
if you did tell him about me
and then we can wipe the slate clean.
I'm sorry,
but that's the way I feel about it.
Because I have absolutely no intention
of passing on the date of that shipment.
Well, let me put it another way.
Do the names Halliday, Hornfield,
Kinnersley and Drampton
mean anything to you?
No. I don't follow you.
They're all women's prisons.
There's a fairly large selection of them
available in this country,
but I think I should point out
they do have one thing in common.
They are all poisonously unpleasant.
I'll manage somehow. Others have.
Yes. Well, let me draw
a persuasive little picture for you.
Where you will be going, they have
the oddest notions of hospitality.
First, they shave your head.
Then they delouse you,
feed you with something
that a ravenous crocodile would pass up,
then lock you up for the night
with unfriendly lesbian companions,
and you have your own
private little chamber pot under the bed.
It is very unpleasant, I know.
That's why I urge you
to think again and reflect
whether you shouldn't
save yourself all that misery
by passing on the date to Rhodes.
Well, take your time. Reflect well.
I've taken my time
and I've reflected well.
And?
I've decided to save myself
all that misery.
I'll pass on the date.
Splendid.
When is it?
You'll get it in a day or two.
Run along now.
Inspector, I thought I might send you
a little present, a kitten.
They're ever such a lot of fun
if you strangle them right.
Jack, I must say, I don't see the point
of poring over all these maps and charts.
We're never going to pull it off
because we don't have the date.
It's as simple as that.
Do you really think I don't know that?
In any case, I'm getting
a little old for all this thievery.
Nigel, after this one,
we'll quit for keeps.
Marry nice girls, have kids,
grow fat, drink port.
I like port.
Jack, we'll need a million dollars.
Maybe more.
So what?
We're gonna make $30 million, maybe more.
But look, don't you see
there's absolutely no--
Do you mind getting the door?
Do you mind?
-Nigel Lawton.
-Yes.
Gillian Bromley. Hello.
I've heard a lot about you.
Well, I've heard
absolutely nothing whatever about you.
-Hello, beauty.
-Hello.
-Like another bubble bath?
-Absolutely love one.
-Did it go all right?
-Yes, it was fine.
Excuse me.
What were we talking about?
I know. The date.
Ms. Bromley is gonna get us the date.
You are gonna get us the date, aren't you?
-Yes, I am.
-Yes, she is.
Where are you going to get it from?
Hatton Garden, I suppose.
No, Scotland Yard.
All right, don't tell me then.
See, I have this great admirer
at Scotland Yard.
And he's gonna go fishing.
The date is the bait, and I'm the fish.
Jack, I read the other day
about a chap in America
who used a computer
to embezzle $10 million...
-Some coffee.
-How do you want it?
-Black.
-Okay.
There's some made in the kitchen.
-You listening?
-Yes.
When he got the money,
he took it to Russia and bought...
-Do you want some coffee?
-Yes, please.
...$10 million-- Black, no sugar.
-$1O million worth of diamonds.
-Want something to eat?
I don't know what's in there.
-Sandwich, a biscuit?
-I don't think so.
On the open market, he found they
were worth 13 million. So far so good.
Then he tried to convert
the diamonds back into cash,
and that's when they got him.
-See?
-Yeah.
We'll need passports.
You haven't listened to a single word
I've been saying, have you?
All right, passports. What name?
Something exotic.
Oh, Jack, you're not gonna do
another of your accents, are you?
Yes.
-All right. What else?
-Radioman.
What about your friend Ferguson?
The chap you were
in the signals corps with.
He's been out of the trade
for about ten years.
He's a tough cookie though.
-Pilot?
-Ernst Mueller.
Last I heard,
he was flying Cubans into Africa.
-I wonder if Castro knows he's a Nazi.
-Thank you.
-Who cares? He's a damn good pilot.
-Yeah.
I need someone
who knows Amsterdam really well.
Shouldn't be too hard.
This may be a silly question,
but if we are successful,
how do we then go about
converting the stones into cash?
That's exactly what Jack's the best at.
Not as far as I'm concerned.
Thank you.
Could we get back to work, please?
Hello.
Hello, this is your world traveler
from Germany.
-How are you?
-A lot better since the phone rang.
Holy cheese and crackers!
I called you as soon as I could.
No, I meant the call before yours.
My friend finally called,
and he wants to see me
on the 28th at 11 :00.
On the 28th?
He's got a lot of confidence in me.
That's one week.
-Do you think that you can do it?
-Of course I can do it.
Jack?
-Yes?
I do miss you.
-Are you in bed?
- Yes.
-No nightgown?
-No.
No jammies ?
-Neither.
Why don't you meet me in Paris tonight?
Plaza Athne.
-Really?
-9.'00.
I'll be there.
-Gillian?
-Yes?
-Come as you are.
-Absolutely.
Bye-bye.
Ernst.
Rhodes. My friend.
-Good to see you.
-Good to see you.
If it is Rhodes, it must be diamonds, ja?
-Still smart as a whip.
-When is the job?
-Soon. London.
-It is London?
Starts in London,
then you fly over the Channel.
You know how many times I fly the Channel?
Many times.
But this time
you won't be carrying any bombs.
Won't be nearly as much fun,
but then you'll go a lot faster.
If we dropped more bombs last time,
different story.
Well, you can't win them all.
We don't win any of them.
You got to promise
not to strafe any civilians.
Always the jokes, huh?
-What do I fly?
- | | s-125.
HS-125. Nice plane. Alone?
-I need a radioman.
-No, no. I am very good with radio.
I don't know how to tell you this, Ernst,
but you have a German accent.
What German accent?
I already have another man.
Okay, okay, whatever you say.
Who else have you found?
-Nigel Lawton.
-Good man.
Please, one more question.
Three million dollars.
-What is my share?
-That is your share.
Three million? Are you serious?
-Yes.
-I have no words.
I need you in London tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I will already be there one day.
Hey!
Hey, take five, fellas. Take five.
-Fergie!
-Jack, how are you?
-Hey, buddy.
-Say hello to Gillian Bromley.
-Hello to Gillian Bromley.
-Hello.
Come on. Sit up front
with the rhythm section, all right?
I see the Salvation Army
is still making your clothes.
I see you're still faking it on the piano.
Mean to me
Why is he always so mean to me?
You know, as long
as I keep missing the cracks.
It's been a while, Jack.
Been a while and a half.
How do you like Paris?
The people are cool.
I'm all right, can't complain.
Can you bear leaving them for a while?
Come to London?
-Any special place in London?
-Hatton Garden.
Some outfit going
to lose a bit of inventory?
All of them.
Ain't misbehaving
Very ambitious, this guy.
Man's gotta grow.
Who else is in on the gig?
-Nigel.
-Lovely, lovely.
-Ernst Mueller.
-Do I know him?
You weren't in the German army, were you?
I flunked the color test.
-How about it? You in?
-Tell me about the wages.
Well, give or take a few bob...
$30 million.
You get 10%.
I'm misbehaving
-You provide lunch?
-You got it.
-All right.
-Gotta make a phone call.
Okay.
The man is a natural high, huh?
-Absolutely.
-Yeah.
You've known him a long time.
-Why has he never been caught?
-Because he's too damn smart.
What would happen if...
somebody crossed him?
I hate to even think about that, baby.
Sam, I thought I told you
never to play that song.
-Sorry, boss.
-Gotta catch a plane to Amsterdam.
Call Nigel, he'll give you
all the details.
Grab your coat and grab your hat
Beautiful city, Amsterdam.
It's where all the light bulbs
come to have a vacation.
Nigel says this De Goo yer
is the best driver in Europe
and he really knows the city well.
What about me? I'm fast.
I know, I know, you'd like to drive.
No offense, but you're just
a little too kamikaze for me.
Why don't we just leave the job
to a professional?
Well, don't the shops stay open late here.
Don't let the red lights throw you.
All they have here are massage parlors,
leather whips, bondage, French lessons.
It's kind of a home away from home.
Here we are.
You know what always surprises me?
Some of these girls
are really very chic and elegant.
In fact-- ls De Goo yer in?
Come in and sit down.
I wouldn't sit there.
You might catch something.
You don't know where that couch has been.
-Hello.
-Hello, can I help you?
No, just waiting.
-You want to see me?
-De Goo yer?
You want to have some business here?
Someone for you both or to watch or what?
No, something
a little different, actually.
Whatever you like.
If you show us once, we can do it.
I'm Jack Rhodes.
God.
Sit down. We'll talk.
Couldn't we go somewhere
a little more private?
They can't hear
and she's dead above the waist.
-So, you need a driver.
-Right.
We're talking about a lot of money.
Yeah.
Do you need anything else,
like making people disappear?
Either temporarily or permanently.
I can do both tricks.
You do that a lot, I bet.
I like it.
What about terrorist work?
You like that, too?
"Terrorist" is a dangerous word.
I prefer "mercenary."
So, what do you think?
I think I don't like you.
I've only known you a few minutes,
but already I don't like you for years.
Let's go.
You came here to insult me?
No, it just worked out that way.
Move.
Or what?
I don't want to have
a fight in a whorehouse window.
Cause a lot of commotion.
You don't want to be
with this boy, do you?
Don't push your luck.
Incredible face, you know.
If you worked for me, I could retire.
Cyril, hurry up!
Your breakfast is getting cold, as usual.
Cyril, I don't like your tie.
-You gave it to me, dear.
-That's no excuse.
-Cyril, look at the newspaper.
-Something in it?
-The date.
-That made the front page again?
It's the 25th. Six more days
and you'll finish at the Yard.
Hopefully, in a blaze of glory.
-My final case, the capstone of my career.
-What difference will it make?
It has to do with something sacred.
Cyril, you're making no sense, as usual.
This is about the sanctity of property.
Of all the crimes of which man is capable,
the one that really rankles my soul
is the violation of property.
Well, there is your murder, of course,
rape, kidnap, wife-beating.
Oh, ridiculous.
But life, however precious, life perishes.
It's only property that lives on and on.
Now, the man I intend to arrest
has the presumption to usurp for himself
that which we consider to be
the most valuable property of all:
diamonds.
The dearest, noblest,
most direct link we have
with the very core of the planet itself.
The filthy bugger.
Yes, dear.
I'll answer it.
8-3.
Hold on a moment.
It's Pilbrow.
He says it's a matter of some importance.
Hello, Pilbrow.
What? That's not possible.
Tell them we'll come at once.
-I'll meet you there.
-Trouble, dear?
Try catastrophe.
I'm afraid it's final, Inspector.
Diamond House has decided
to make the shipment on the 10th
of next month, rather than the 28th.
May I remind you, sir, of the many
anonymous tips we've received in the past?
These were never this close to a shipment
and never so specifically Hatton Garden.
What exactly did the caller say
about the 28th?
Well, he merely said
to watch for trouble at that time.
That's good enough for us.
Let me assure you, sir, but nothing,
nothing at all will happen.
I personally will stay with the shipment
until it's safely
on its way to Luton Airport.
Then I'll fly on ahead to Antwerp
and cover its arrival there.
Well, why would you not fly all the way
with them yourself, Inspector?
Because I want to make quite sure
that the Belgian police
have taken all possible precautions
at their end.
I hope you're not taking this
too lightly, Inspector.
I must urge you, sir,
most strongly not to alter your date.
Once you do that, from then on,
Diamond House will have
its timetable dictated by tipsters.
Give us one hour.
-Inspector Willis.
-Yes, Pilbrow?
We've just had a call
from Diamond House, sir.
The 28th it is.
-Are you pleased, sir?
-Of course I'm pleased.
I'm just not able
to applaud at this particular moment.
Have you any idea, sir,
who might have given them the tip?
-Yes, I have. I did.
-You, sir?
How else could we get
the massive security we need?
You're a genius, sir.
An out-and-out genius.
In a few more days,
I may be a retired out-and-out genius.
-Sir?
-No more villains to hunt.
No more midnight oil being burnt
stalking the prey.
From now on,
it's the slippers and the pipe,
and listening to the chimes
of that bloody clock on the mantelpiece,
and to Mrs. Willis, of course.
But before that happens,
I'm going to get Rhodes.
The thought of him rotting in jail
might make my rotting at home
slightly more bearable.
Yes, quite, sir. But what is he up to?
Now, we know he's been in Germany
and Paris and seen Mueller and Ferguson.
But I don't understand what he would want
with an engineer and a piano player.
The answer to that question
is absolutely nothing.
But he might want
a great deal from an ex-pilot
and an ex-air traffic controller.
Don't answer it.
It's been so long
since I've had you to myself.
Now then. I am too old to play the cat,
and you're far too pretty for a mouse.
-You promised to leave me alone.
-I intend to keep that promise.
And when did you stop breaking it?
Exactly.
So, you gave Rhodes the date?
-Yes.
-And?
There is no "and." That was the end of it.
-The subject never came up again?
-It did not.
Immediately thereafter, he just started
hopping from country to country?
How did you know that?
Because Her Majesty's Police
and Her Majesty's Immigration
both happen to work for the same majesty.
-Why did he go to Germany?
-I don't know.
Have you any idea why you joined him
in Paris and Amsterdam?
He is supposed
to find me attractive, remember?
Oh, yes. Where did you go in Amsterdam?
I went to the red-light district
and I found
an extremely nice little place--
Where was Rhodes
during all this art appreciation?
He was with me.
-All the time?
-Yes.
-You're lying, you know.
-Please yourself.
Still mutinous?
Well, in case you need to bolster
your flagging enthusiasm
for our little project,
let me assure you
women's prisons have not altered one whit
since we last talked about them.
One more turn of the screw?
Well, I don't think you can catch him
anyway, so I might as well tell you.
He went to these countries
to try to recruit help.
I don't know who he saw because
I waited behind to get the date from you.
How does he plan to steal them?
-Hello.
-Hello.
Shall I come back?
No, you're just in time to meet someone.
Hello.
Chief Inspector Willis. Jack Rhodes.
-Mr. Rhodes.
-Chief Inspector.
"Inspector" is quite sufficient.
"Chief" always strikes me
as somewhat tribal.
The inspector
is an old friend of the family.
I've known Gillian
ever since she was a little girl,
stealing around the house.
Just visiting our country, Mr. Rhodes?
No, I'm a permanent resident, actually.
Really?
What is it, the damp and the drizzle
that dazzles you?
No, I'm one of England's
foul-weather friends.
That's very good.
Lots of exciting challenges over here.
You enjoy a good challenge, do you?
If the prize is right.
-I like him.
-I knew you would.
Well, I'm afraid
I must get back to the Yard.
Your work must be very exciting.
It's routine mostly.
It does have its rewards, though.
At least it did.
I shall be retiring in just a few days.
-Mandatory, unfortunately.
-Why is that?
Well, it seems that I had the bad taste
to age rather than die on them.
Well, that hardly seems fair, does it?
I mean, your side has to retire
and the other side just becomes
little, old, rich, bad guys.
That's right. Not very fair on me, either.
I have to retire
on a most measly little pension.
But I shall miss it all. The criminals,
the immorality, the deception.
All the things that make life worthwhile.
Well, I mustn't complain. I've achieved
pretty much what I set out to do.
Lots of heads on the wall?
Well, I always felt
there was room for just one more.
-Well, I hope to see you again.
-I'm sure you will.
-Would you be my guest?
-How kind.
Your restaurant?
People say the food is good enough to eat.
I might just take you up on that.
Now, if you should find yourself
in the vicinity of Scotland Yard
before the week's out, one never knows.
I'd love to see it.
I'd love to show it to you.
-Goodbye.
-Inspector.
I'll show myself out.
And give my very best to your father.
Did he dust your entire body
for my fingerprints?
God! Don't joke about it.
You don't seem to appreciate
how much he wants you.
I do. I'm looking forward
to seeing him again.
Do you know what?
-I want you.
-When?
-Now.
-Where?
Wherever.
I have to make a phone call.
-You need permission?
-Cute.
Nigel.
I have to talk fast, Nigel.
I need a-- the vehicle.
Could you arrange that?
Good.
No, I have a driver.
The best.
What about
the Pakistani an-Arabian situation?
You know, Turhan Bey and Maria Montez.
Excellent.
I have to call you back, Nigel.
Something just came up.
Hello, Jack.
-Hello, Nigel.
-Morning, Ms. Bromley.
Hello.
How are they getting along?
-Mueller and Fergie?
-Yeah.
Mueller loves him.
I think it must be his dark glasses.
-You have enough decals?
-Yes, plenty, I should think.
-Radio?
-Yep. In here.
-Any problems getting the plane?
-No. One has one's friends.
Here's the lease.
You'll be pleased to see
that we're a Panamanian corporation.
-Based in Beirut.
-With a Liechtenstein charter.
Did you remember
to write in "diamond thief"?
No, no, I put "dope smugglers."
Didn't want to arouse suspicion.
Very sensible.
-Hello, Fergie.
-Hey, Jack. How are you?
-How do you like the plane?
-Excellent.
Beautiful. It's a Steinway.
-Good to see you.
-Remember Gillian?
-Hello, Ms. Bromley. We meet again.
-Hi, yes.
-Ernst Mueller, Gillian Bromley.
-Hello.
He doesn't talk much.
Jack, when are you gonna tell us the date?
The day before the caper.
That's not very sporting of you.
What's the matter? Don't you trust us?
You're right.
-It's the 28th.
-Good.
God, that's tomorrow!
Well, that's the day before the caper.
Ms. Bromley is in this with us?
Without Ms. Bromley,
there'd be no "this" to be in.
Oh, absolutely.
-What did he say?
-I think he wants to jump you.
British Overseas Airline flight number 76
now arriving from London.
Welcome to Antwerp.
Monsieur Sharma?
Yes, sir. I'm Mr. Sharma.
Yes, sir. Can I help you, sir?
This is your wife?
This is my wife, yes, sir.
This is my wife, yes, sir.
She lower the veil.
Would you lower your veil, my dear?
She's shy to the point of modesty.
Thank you for the excellent stamping
of my passport.
-Your passport, sir.
-Good day.
That was the worst Peter Sellers
I have ever heard.
I wasn't doing Peter Sellers.
I was doing Peter Sellers
doing Omar Sharif.
Inspector Willis?
This is Inspector Vanderveld.
The people you suspect
are under strict surveillance.
My men have followed the couple
to L'Hotel Splendide.
Now, why should we not arrest them?
Because as yet,
there's no evidence against them.
If the diamonds are taken anywhere,
my guess is it will happen in Antwerp,
somewhere between the airport
and their arrival in the city.
But why should you think
the diamonds are in danger?
Do have some inside information?
Have you, perhaps, had a tip-off?
Instinct, Inspector.
The best part of a policeman,
which allows him to think like a criminal.
Now, I'm only asking your permission
for me to be in on the case.
In on the case?
But if, as you say, there is no evidence,
well, there is no case.
Of course. I simply mean
that I'd like to be in on the case,
just in case there is one.
-A case, if you follow my thinking.
-Oh, dear.
Look, once I'm quite sure
that the diamonds are safely
on their way from Hatton Garden,
I will fly on ahead to Antwerp
and meet you at the airport
before they arrive.
Do I have your cooperation?
Rest assured,
we shall do everything possible
to make sure that the shipment is safe.
Always a pleasure
to talk with you, Inspector.
The man is a lunatic. Good night.
Another shipment ready to go.
It will be the normal routine for loading.
Yes, sir.
I don't mean to be rude,
but what exactly are we doing here?
Well, we're in Holland.
I thought I'd show you a windmill.
You've seen one, you've seen them all.
Right.
What's this supposed to be?
This is what you drive
to get us into the airport.
-And hopefully out.
-Uh-huh.
How did it get here?
-Nigel arranged it.
-He is a handy man.
Smart, too.
We botch this up, he'll still be alive.
From this moment on,
it starts to get sticky.
So, if you want out,
now's the time to say so.
-When you say "out," what do you mean?
-You tell me.
What's my share in this?
Charming. Right to the end.
You haven't told me anything about it.
I don't know what's going to happen.
-I never tell anybody everything.
-Never?
If I told you everything,
it'd scare the hell out of you.
I doubt it.
-One more thing.
-What?
I love you.
The diamonds
are being loaded at this very moment.
I'll see you shortly.
All secure, sir.
Our people are in position,
ready and waiting.
Very good. I just spoke
to Inspector Vanderveld.
Our couple is still under surveillance
in the hotel.
-Excellent, sir.
-Well, I'm on my way to Antwerp.
Good hunting, sir.
Just take it easy. Plenty of time.
You don't have to drive
to the airport fast.
Don't panic.
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
Loud and clear, Nigel. Loud and clear.
Golf-Bravo...
Bravo...
Tango.
Mother's in the maternity ward.
Did you say "mother"?
I said "mother."
Mother's expecting twins.
Mother's on the way to delivery room.
Romeo-Tango, ready for takeoff.
Romeo-Tango, clear for takeoff.
Surface Wind 05573 knots.
Romeo-Tango rolling.
Mother's given birth.
V1.
VR.
V2.
V1. Rotate.
V2.
Gear up.
Gear up.
-Gear up.
-Gear up.
We're getting close to the midway point.
We got to be near them
when London switches them over to Antwerp.
He's somewhere here.
There's only one sky between us.
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango,
this is Antwerp.
Antwerp, this is Golf-Romeo-Tango.
Romeo-Tango, this is Antwerp.
We have an emergency.
The airfield is closed.
Divert to Amsterdam.
Antwerp, this is Golf-Romeo-Tango.
We are diverting to Amsterdam.
Give me a heading for Amsterdam.
That's the fourth time in the last
three months they've diverted us.
The new course is 067.
Amsterdam, this is
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
We are diverting from Antwerp.
You're gonna have to hustle
if we're gonna make Antwerp
before they groove in on Amsterdam, eh?
What would I do without you?
Drive to the far side of the field.
-Bonjour, Inspector.
-Bonjour.
The shipment is safely on its way.
Splendid. Then we're almost halfway there.
Right on time.
-What do we do now?
-We wait.
Good morning, Antwerp.
This is Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
Romeo-Tango, roger. Runway 26 right.
-Wind is southwest at 9 knots.
{Bear down.
Gear down.
Three greens.
So far, so good.
Now we are halfway there.
Amsterdam, this is
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
Romeo-Tango, go ahead.
Amsterdam, this is Golf-Romeo-Tango.
Request landing clearance.
Romeo-Tango, roger.
Clear for final approach.
Runway 17 left.
The wind is southwest at 7 knots.
-Gear down.
-Gear down.
Three greens.
All right. Here we go, beauty.
What the hell is this?
Looks like some kind of security check.
We've never stopped here before.
I don't like it.
What's going on back there?
Move, move! Move, move!
Was anyone hurt?
-Just their pride.
-What?
Only a little stoned.
You ready to take your driver's test,
Ms. Bromley?
Jolly well bet your bottom I am.
So, Inspector, our fears
seem to have been for naught.
-What is wrong?
-Quartz!
They are all quartz. Absolutely worthless.
We're coming up to a fork in the road.
I want you to go right.
Mr. Rhodes,
I haven't said this before, but...
I do love you.
Ever such a lot.
Thank you, darling. Now hang a right.
They're down to their last Rabbit!
We're almost home, babe!
What a pity. I was just getting into this.
Shoot, baby, they're here!
-Just passed your driver's test.
-Bet your ass I did.
Okay. Head for heaven!
-Going out?
-Yes.
With all that?
I'm not coming back.
You can get in touch with my lawyer.
-You mean you're leaving?
-What an amazing deduction.
Well, might one inquire
what made you decide so suddenly?
It's not sudden. Why should I stay with
you now that you're an ex-chief inspector
who's the laughingstock
of the whole country?
Charity, perhaps?
Charity begins abroad.
Registered letter for the chief inspector.
Ex-chief inspector.
Sorry to hear about that, Mrs. Willis.
Ex-Mrs. Willis.
Your royal highness.
Bye, Cyril.
A toast to us.
And the late Inspector Willis.
How he must have felt
when they opened that box at Antwerp.
Just quartz.
It is so beautiful, darling.
Must be nearly as big
as the Star of India.
That was the...
dumbest, most moronic thing
any man has ever done.
Quartz.
-What?
-The whole lot was quartz.
Everything we took
from Amsterdam was quartz.
I have a question,
but you must give it to me very gently.
The packet in Antwerp was quartz, right?
Right.
The packet we picked up
in Amsterdam was quartz?
Right.
Then here is my question.
Where are the diamonds?
-Hello, old Kirk.
-Pleasant trip?
First class all the way.
Any problems with Customs?
No, I had no problems. I've--
I've still got my Scotland Yard ID card.
You remember Ms. Bromley.
Ms. Bromley, how nice to see you again.
I was trying to explain to Ms. Bromley
who has the diamonds.
Yes.
-Well, I have the diamonds.
-He has the diamonds.
I'm hereto sell them to Mr. Rhodes.
You have the diamonds?
A Scotland Yard chief inspector
in charge of shipments
has ample opportunity
to switch things around.
He's pulled off the perfect crime,
except for one thing.
He doesn't know
who to sell the diamonds to now.
That's right.
If I'd gone looking for a fence,
they'd have been
delighted to turn me in, of all people.
I don't believe this.
How much do you want for the diamonds?
Well...
Would you think that
one million dollars is fair?
No. I don't think
one million dollars is fair.
I think three million dollars is fair.
Well, let me say this:
I prefer your definition of "fair."
I thought you would.
Then you two have been
conspiring together all the time.
No, we've never actually conspired.
You could call us
non-conspiring conspirators.
For instance, he knew
there wouldn't be any diamonds in Antwerp.
I wish you could have seen my expression
of mortification and humiliation.
I thought I did it rather well.
Yes, I bet you did do it rather well.
You tailed me rather well.
And discovered everything
you wanted me to discover.
The pilot, the wizard radio operator...
In other words, the second plane.
And Amsterdam.
It is the only other city
on the diamond run.
Darling, what was it that made you aware
of what was going on?
Well, first of all, there was
his obsession with catching me,
blackmailing you, trusting that you
wouldn't double-cross or report him,
and that boring, boring story
about Maxwell Levy.
You caught on fairly soon, eh?
-Roughly, how soon?
-Roughly, immediately.
Then it was soon.
Then you two
were exchanging signals in my flat.
Yes. Would you like some champagne?
Thank you.
So, the fact the inspector
went to Antwerp told you
that he wanted you
to get away with it in Amsterdam.
And that is why you were almost positive
that the diamonds we stole
would be fakes, right?
Wrong. I was absolutely positive.
Unidentified party steals fakes.
Everyone assumes they're diamonds, but...
they'd already been stolen.
Sheer perfection.
I've always had this slight fondness
for sheer perfection.
God, you've gotten away
with stealing $30 million.
Yes, but $30 million
won't buy what it used to.
on our first anniversary!
Hi, Jack.
Oh, God. Balloons.
Who cares about balloons?
I'm not interested in balloons.
Are you wondering what I'd like to do?
The night's yours.
Jack, let's dance. Shall we dance?
Let's have some more champagne.
Darling, you wouldn't fetch me
more champers, would you?
Hello.
Well, you lead one a very merry chase.
Very merry indeed.
You can't be serious.
I've never been more serious in my life.
Why are you imitating Tony Curtis?
I'm not imitating Tony Curtis.
I'm imitating Cary Grant.
You're doing Tony Curtis doing Cary Grant.
Cary Grant doesn't even do
Cary Grant anymore.
But I thought--
See, I thought it would be
a nice way to meet you.
Original, but I suggest
you do someone else.
I do a great Jack Rhodes.
-Who's he?
-Me.
Very good.
-You do an excellent Jack Rhodes.
-Thank you.
-Who are you?
-Gillian Bromley.
I always loved that name.
I hoped you would.
Gillian. Sounds like an amount.
You know, the first thing after a billion.
Jack, darling, come meet Sir Samuel.
Sir Samuel Sacks, this is Jack Rhodes.
Sir Samuel.
What do you think of our Sheila, eh?
Used to bounce her on my knee.
Dirty old bugger.
Yeah. She's quite
a little bouncer, Sheila.
Sheila, Sir Samuel, I'd like you to meet--
Take me to the food, my dear.
I shall perish without immediate gluttony.
Of course, darling.
How gorgeous. Who are you?
-Jack Rhodes.
-You're American.
Yes. Not my fault.
Been here long?
I live here.
See, darling? Some of them have taste.
Anyone in there?
Anyone in there?
I must go to the loo. I'm bursting.
Come on.
I'm bursting.
I must go to the loo. Come on.
Oh, blast.
Scarlett, I missed you.
You're not leaving?
-I rather thought I was.
-Alone?
For the moment. Good night.
But it's so early.
I'm afraid I'm not too keen
on large parties.
We could find a small one.
We could be a small one.
-I'm not doing too well, am I?
-Not at the moment.
An hors cf oeuvre? Petit four? Petit five?
I know. A cigarette.
-Mr. Rhodes, it's really--
-I think you'll like one of these.
Can I call you?
-I'm in the book.
-So am I.
Which one, Guinness?
Several times.
And I will see you again.
I take it you always manage
to get what you want.
-Good night, Mr. Rhodes.
-You said that.
I can't say good night to you
often enough.
Jack.
Jack, darling, where are you?
Sheila, you're gonna have to do
something about your shyness.
I'm going to eat you up.
And who can blame you?
-Now, I have to find my key, okay?
-I'll help you find it.
-Evening, Mr. Rhodes.
-Good evening, Mr. Foxworth.
-I'll help you find--
-We're just hunting for my key.
Lovely evening for it.
-I've got it!
-Good.
I've got it.
Why don't we just work our way up
to you being down there?
You've put mirrors on the ceiling.
You naughty, naughty boy.
They go all the way around.
You must be very active.
What a sensational view.
Where is it?
It's my apartment.
Good idea.
What do you like best?
Tell me. What would you like?
Well, I think a new shirt would be fine.
Why don't we go slower?
You know, by the numbers.
I think it'd be much more fun.
Nice.
Do you sleep here?
No. I sleep up there.
Then we'll stay here.
Hold it.
I mean, don't move.
Hello. What are you doing here?
Robbing you.
Don't go away.
-Checkmate.
-Right.
I thought I heard voices.
Of course you did. That was you and I.
Because there's nobody else here.
-Right?
-Right.
There's nobody else here.
Well, good night.
Thank you for a perfect evening.
-Was I good?
-Wonderful.
-But I only just got here.
-Did you?
I think so.
I had too much to drink, didn't I?
You don't like that, I know.
That's all right.
Give me another chance.
Let me throw up.
How sweet.
You don't have to do that for me, really.
Waldo.
I'm terribly sorry, darling.
-I wouldn't be any good to you.
-Pardon me, sir?
I'm not talking to you, Waldo.
Send me one of your better taxis.
- Thanking you, sir.
-Thank you.
What do you mean?
I was injured in the war.
Not many people know about it.
-Oh, darling.
-Yes.
A bit of a sticky wicket,
but somehow I manage.
I can help you.
Let me try.
No, no, no. Wouldn't be any good.
You see, I--
I have to strap things on.
Besides, all my batteries are dead.
It'd be a mess.
-Well, you have to go.
-Will you call me?
Yes. Of course. I'll call you every day.
-Every day.
-Bless you.
Bless you.
Well, onward and upward.
Are you decent?
Would you be so kind
as to hand me a shirt?
I take it she's left.
Yes. Gone off to join a monastery.
Like to step outside, or do you want me
to get a couple of chairs
and come in there with you?
I don't want to seem ungrateful,
but how did you get in?
A skeleton key.
You just walked past the doorman,
I assume.
Doormen are always asleep.
Poor Waldo. He died about three years ago.
We haven't had the heart to tell him.
-Did you find what you were looking for?
-I wasn't looking for anything special.
Just so long as it costs a fortune.
To even the score, you might say.
I see.
Perhaps you were looking for this.
-How did you do it?
-Cigarette?
Where are the diamonds?
Little black box, second drawer,
left-hand side, a secret compartment.
-How do I know you're not lying?
-You don't.
-What is your game, Mr. Rhodes?
-No, no, no.
It's my place, my bed, my questions.
What's your game?
I steal things.
You with the Acme Robbery Company?
-I just take things, that's all.
-Why?
Because it's exciting and dangerous.
-Not for the money?
-No.
You're a kleptomaniac.
-How brilliant.
-Well, it's very common.
I'm terribly sorry it's not more stylish.
You know why you do it?
Well, I have--
Is this going to be long?
It's love you really want.
Attention, tenderness.
You steal to compensate,
to fill a void in your life.
-Void?
-Yes. Void.
It's a classic syndrome,
but I think I can help.
Well, maybe I'll just go and steal
a good book on the subject.
You can't go yet.
Blackmail.
-Only as a first resort.
When will I see you again?
-When's good for you?
-Tomorrow night.
Friday's better.
I was gonna get married Friday, but I can
put it off for a couple of weeks.
-Dinner?
-Lunch would be easier.
Lunch would be fine.
I'll pick you up around noon, okay?
You won't forget my corsage?
It can be your treat.
You want good food or just expensive?
Both.
And you might find that you need this.
Tweed jacket, inside pocket.
One of the first places we look.
Good night again, Mr. Rhodes.
Hello?
Hello?
No. It's perfectly all right.
How did it go?
Lunch on Friday?
Oh, lovely. What a wonderful start.
You'd better pop around tomorrow.
10:00-ish?
Yes. I want to hear all the details.
I'm very pleased, my dear.
Very pleased and very grateful.
Good night, my dear.
Rather late for someone
to be calling, isn't it?
Rather an exceptional situation, dear.
She sounded beautiful.
I'm sorry she woke you.
-Is she?
-Beautiful?
More like stunning, I'd say.
I was dreaming when the phone rang.
It was the middle of August.
We were in the south of France.
-You'd taken me on holiday.
-Lovely, was it?
Not really. It was pissing down rain.
Did you read that article
in the paper today?
Which one was that?
It said, if you don't use it,
you'll lose it.
-Can't have that, can we?
-No, dear.
Come in.
Good morning, Ms. Bromley.
No calls, Pilbrow.
-Yes, sir.
-Unless it's major, of course.
Somebody telephones the queen
and starts breathing heavily,
that sort of thing.
Yes, sir.
I must say the sight of you
cheers me, my dear.
I could only say that I feel
every bit as well as you look.
Whereas I feel cheap and slimy.
Ah, yes.
Well, police work can do that to you.
My first year at it,
I almost scrubbed my hands raw.
I'm not with the police.
Just so long as you're not against us,
that's all we ask.
Now tell me, how did it go with Rhodes?
I told you on the phone.
It went exactly as you planned.
He introduced himself at the party,
and we're going out.
-On Friday?
-Absolutely.
That's splendid. About one week together
should do it, I would think.
You do presuppose, of course,
that he will want to see me again.
Modesty is boring.
False modesty puts me in a coma.
Jack Rhodes has always
been attracted to beautiful women.
Now, your very considerable looks
plus your wit and style
should rivet him for quite a time,
long enough for him to be mine.
-You may fail.
-I refuse to entertain that possibility.
You see, for the whole of my adult life,
I have been a policeman,
but soon, as comes to all who serve,
I shall be turned out to pasture.
Mandatory retirement,
a sort of capital punishment for the old.
But I would go without a whimper
if I could bag the one man
who has always eluded my reach.
I've come close.
I've come tantalizingly close.
But he's always been one step ahead.
Jack Rhodes is brilliant,
and he's smooth,
but he is also, I'm quite convinced,
the most successful
diamond thief at large today.
And the thought of being forced to retire
before I've bested him...
Forgive me. I have run on.
It helps to have a captive audience.
I prefer to think of you
as a cooperative one.
Oh, yes. I forgot.
When the police turn the screws,
it is called "cooperation."
Turning the screws?
Has anybody yet told your father
that his daughter's
light-fingered proclivities
might jeopardize his position
in the government?
Haven't I kept mum
about your long string of indiscretions?
Nice to see you, Inspector.
Do your parents live in America?
They died before I was born.
I never forgave them for it.
Are we anywhere near
the end of the runway yet?
Oh, dear. What a nuisance.
Better pull over.
You could lose your license.
I don't have a license.
It'll cost you a lot of money.
Cost me a lot more
if they find out it's a stolen car.
-You stole this car?
-Yes.
To fill a void in my life.
Excuse me for mentioning it,
but we're about to become
a hood ornament for a truck.
I don't think so.
-Did I scare you?
-No.
-Well, how am I doing?
-Swell.
Excuse me.
-Heads up!
-Jack!
Are you trying
to get rid of me or the car?
-Well, I don't need lifts.
-Or shoes.
-Does he wait?
-He waits.
-You wait.
-Right, guv'nor.
-Oh, my goodness. It's all wet.
-Yes.
Come. Here you go.
-Very nice of you.
-Yes, it is.
But it's quite unnecessary.
-You all right?
-No.
I think I hurt my tee-tee.
I'm not surprised.
-How much do you weigh?
-Eight stone, three.
You'd never know.
-Beautiful house.
-Thank you.
Is it yours?
Where'd you steal it?
The keys are under the mat.
That's a terrific hiding place.
Nobody would ever think of looking there.
Let me come in
and help you turn down the bed.
I don't think so.
I could lay out your jammies.
-I don't wear pajamas.
-I could lay out your nightgown.
I don't wear a nightgown.
You don't wear anything?
My God. I think I have to come in
and take a cold shower.
Good night.
Same time tomorrow?
Yes.
But on the other hand,
we say "tomato," and you say "tomato."
Yet you don't call a potato a "potato."
-No. Silly.
-That would be stupid to say "potato."
Yes? What would you like?
-A thin slice of that one, please.
-A thin slice of that one.
-And some gooseberries.
-And some gooseberries.
And one of those meringue tart things.
And one of those
meringue tart things.
-And for you, sir?
-Nothing for me. I'm driving.
You sure that's all you want?
You know why you ordered so many desserts?
Starved for love?
Join the club.
Six.
Thirteen.
Eighteen.
Seven, 17.
Nine, 19.
Twenty.
Come in.
-Excuse me, sir.
-Yes?
We got a little more
out of Dr. Chivers this morning.
He's told us nearly everything.
The only thing is, we don't know
where he's buried his wife's left leg.
Well, stay on it.
Because it would be a big help
if he could put Mrs. Chivers
back together before the trial.
Yes, sir.
Chief Inspector Willis's office.
It's your call to Ms. Bromley, sir.
-Get the file.
-Yes, sir.
Good morning, my dear.
All goes well, I trust.
Yes? Yes.
And tonight, as well?
Well, that's perfect.
Then I think we'll move on
to the next phase.
There is a time factor here, after all.
That's right.
You're already halfway there.
Goodbye.
-Oh, Pilbrow, to be ten years younger.
-Yes, sir.
Ten more years of this sort of power.
Good shot, sir.
They let you cook here?
They have to. I own the joint.
-Enjoy the food?
-My teeth are applauding.
Quite remarkable, aren't you?
Only quite?
You love Chinese food,
so you buy a Chinese restaurant.
That makes sense. A good investment.
You have to work very hard
not to work for a living.
You don't like work?
I saw enough of it
when I was a kid watching my folks.
I thought you were an orphan.
I was one of the lucky ones.
I had parents.
I never told them they were adopted.
You don't like being pinned down
about your past, do you?
The past bores me.
I'm only interested in now. Right now.
What about your parents?
You have the usual, one of each?
My mother was lovely.
She died five years ago.
My father-- He's not quite so lovely.
He's very cold,
except to strangers, of course.
-What's Daddy do?
-He's in the government.
High up.
Very high UP-
He's not the queen, is he?
-Shall we?
-I have to tell you something.
What?
Not tonight, all right?
All right.
Still on for tomorrow?
Lunch at Les A.
-Could we make it dinner?
-Sure.
It's better. I like the nights.
They're all yours.
Only all of them?
All of them.
-Except one.
-Why except one?
It's a very long, boring story.
I used to see a man named Maxwell Levy.
For a rather long, wonderful time
and then it ended,
mainly because his wife
didn't think it was so wonderful.
Max is senior partner with Levy and Levy,
the big diamond firm in Hatton Garden.
Several times a year,
Max sends up to a million pounds worth
of rough stones to Antwerp for cutting,
along with all the other diamond houses.
One of Max's couriers takes the stones
to some central place
where they join the others.
The idea is to keep the whole thing
very secret,
so no one is ever told
what time or, indeed, day
the shipment is due to take place.
You're right. That's a long, boring story.
What's it got to do with us?
Max always calls me
the night before the shipment is due.
He considers sleeping with me good luck.
Well, it certainly wouldn't hurt him.
He wouldn't settle for a rabbit's foot?
Lucky man, Maxwell Levy.
All those diamonds.
That's not what I meant.
I won't sleep with him. I'll only see him.
Good night.
Maybe I should sleep with Mrs. Levy.
For luck.
Ms. Bromley, I'd hoped to catch you in.
I thought I'd pop around
for a progress report.
How nice of you to call.
Do come in, Inspector.
You once described yourself
as a captive audience.
Turnabout is fair play.
Now it is I who am that to you.
Well, I told him your tale
of Maxwell Levy,
whoever in God's name he is,
the shipments to Antwerp, the lot,
and he couldn't have cared less.
Well, he could hardly
have reacted with enthusiasm.
That would've been the same as admitting
that he is what I know him to be.
I'm certain that he isn't what you
"know him to be," Inspector.
Certain?
He has everything anyone
could possibly want.
That's quite beside the point.
I told you before.
Of all the world's thieves,
this one is the most gifted.
He not only knows how to steal superbly,
but even more important,
he knows how to fence successfully.
I don't see why being able to fence them
is more important than stealing them.
The world is crammed with light-fingered
ladies and gentlemen
who never realize
more than a fraction of the value
of the merchandise
they so painstakingly purloin.
Jack Rhodes is an exception.
With his contacts,
he gets full value for his exploits.
He really is the Jack of diamonds.
I'm sure he's not interested
in committing any crime.
Great masters don't quit
at the peak of their powers.
The man is not yet 40,
with a string of successes behind him.
There's no way he's laid down his bow
or pushed aside his palette
or bronzed his baton. No.
What I think will happen
is that very soon,
he will inquire whether you haven't heard
from your old friend Mr. Levy,
and isn't it about time he called.
When that happens,
we'll know he's taken the bait.
I will let him run with the line,
because I'll give you the date
of the next shipment to Antwerp.
You will pass it on to Rhodes.
He will then spring into action.
His action, of course, triggering my own.
Yes, sir.
Listen, I did what you asked.
I fed him the information you wanted.
You go and get him to rob the courier.
Rob the courier? My dear girl.
Knowing what he would then know,
do you think Rhodes
would settle for a kidney
when he could have the whole pie?
Once he has that date,
the man is bound to go
for the entire diamond shipment.
We're dealing with a master.
I'm setting him a goal
worthy of his stature.
With all the police and the security,
he's never going to try it.
I have the greatest faith in him,
as indeed I do in you, my dear.
It doesn't trouble you that blackmail
is, in fact, against the law?
Policemen are constantly breaking the law.
It's one of the many ways
we have of upholding it.
But I give you my word.
Help me with Rhodes
and we'll wipe the slate clean.
You want to be careful with those eyes.
They could be assault
with a deadly weapon.
Hello.
Hello.
Is this the lady that sleeps naked?
-I thought we had a date this evening.
-Oh, We did.
But something came up.
See, there's this woman I know,
and the night before she races
her greyhound, she rings me up
and I talk dirty to her on the telephone.
-Brings her luck.
-Touch.
-Are you busy tomorrow?
-No, I'll be free.
-Terrific.
-Sensational.
Pick you up around 1 :00?
I'll be waiting.
By the way, I'm glad you called.
Of course you are.
-Ta-ra.
-Toodle-00.
Connors to serve, first game, first set.
15-love.
Would you like
some strawberries and champagne?
30-love.
What's the matter?
Did I say anything was?
No, but you're a loud thinker.
It was just a mood. They come and go.
This one coming or going?
Going.
I think we ought to have this lanced.
-Jack. Jack Rhodes.
-Hello, Ronnie.
-Center Court, aren't you?
-Yes.
Yes, I told you he was there.
Gillian Bromley, Ronnie Taylor.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Gillian Bromley, Jack Rhodes,
I'd like you to meet Maxwell Levy.
Ms. Bromley.
Mr. Levy.
-Mr. Rhodes.
-Great pleasure.
I'm told you own the best restaurant
in London, Mr. Rhodes.
That's what I tell everybody.
Why don't you two do a swap?
One Chinese dinner
for an order of diamonds to go.
Great idea.
We were just thinking of strolling over
to court number six,
see how young Tracy Austin's
getting along.
Why don't you two come along with us?
-You go ahead. I'll join you.
-Great.
Do you play tennis, Ms. Bromley?
-No. No, I don't.
-No. I don't either.
Beautiful, that was just beautiful.
I can see why women find him attractive.
-He's very handsome, I hear.
-What?
I said I see why women
find him attractive.
-No. You said you hear.
-Right.
What do you mean, you hear?
-You've just met him.
-Did I?
We are talking about Maxwell Levy?
I was.
Well, you just met him
with that friend of yours, Ronnie Taylor.
No, no, no, no. You met Maxwell Levy.
I met Peter Pritchard.
Lovely guy, Peter. Failed actor by trade.
Never quite made it.
Ronnie said he was born a has-been.
-An actor?
-Both of them.
They've been married for years.
They don't have any children,
as far as I know.
It's a shame. They've tried so hard.
Don't be ridiculous. Of course
you didn't hire him to play the part.
Oh, yes, I did.
For 50 pounds and the use of my body.
After I'm dead.
How did you know I didn't know him?
When you told me that story about jumping
in the sack with him for luck, I...
hoped it wasn't true.
Well, Gillian?
Do you know a man called
Chief Inspector Willis?
-Why?
-Because he knows you extremely well.
He's been on to me for some time,
but he never did anything about it.
He'd threaten to arrest me
from time to time,
but I thought he was toying with me.
I didn't know what he wanted.
It's called policeman's foreplay.
He certainly looks positively spiritual
when he discusses you.
Anyway, about a month ago,
he told me he was arranging
for us to meet.
He knew you were going to be
at the Lloyd Palmer party.
How'd he get you there?
Lloyd Palmer and my father
are old friends.
They share
a lot of the same insensitivities.
It was easy for me to be invited.
Stealing the diamonds upstairs?
-I did that on my own.
-I see.
What makes Willis so sure
I'm what he thinks I am?
Lots of things. Your whereabouts.
You appear and suddenly
diamonds disappear.
Your success in business.
Your money,
coming from no traceable source.
Is there anything I can say
that you'll believe from now on?
Why should I? You haven't been honest
with me about anything.
The way I feel about you is honest.
Sure, your mouth is crazy about me. It's
your mind that wants to send me to prison.
Don't be silly.
That's the last thing I want.
Where the hell do you think
Willis wants to send me? To summer camp?
Now what?
You tell your friend Mr. Willis
that I never mentioned
another word about Hatton Garden.
-Then?
-Then he tells Daddy
about your problem
and you go directly to jail.
Charming right to the end.
-Why didn't you go to bed with me?
-I beg your pardon?
I'm sure Willis suggested it.
It was always implicit in what he said.
It would have suited him
right down to the ground.
Then you laid down on the job.
Or rather you didn't. Why?
Because I can't do that unless I care.
And you don't.
Willis used me because he knew
of your weakness for women.
-Fondness.
-Fondness?
I had no intention of being added
to what must be
an extremely long list indeed.
I did the best I could--
All things considered,
I think you'd better come in now.
Oh, my God. That's better than speeding.
-It does have its high points, doesn't it?
-It certainly does.
-Will you tell me something?
-Sure.
If that dreadful Cary Grant approach
hadn't worked,
did you have another one up your sleeve?
Of course. I have my fail-safe approach.
What's that?
Well, if I spot a woman at a party
that's really beautiful--
Not as beautiful as you, but beautiful.
I kind of sidle up to her and I say,
"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice
you've never really been
sexually fulfilled, have you?"
She says, "Oh, boy," and walks away.
Then a few minutes later,
I walk up to her and say,
"No, I mean, have you ever fainted?"
And then I walk away.
Well, a few minutes go by.
Pretty soon her curiosity
is kind of piqued,
and pretty soon
she comes up to me and says,
"What do you mean, fainted?"
And I say, "Well, I mean,
at the end of this sexual exercise,
do you faint?
Because with me,
they always, always faint dead away."
Well, I didn't faint.
Well, it's the first time.
Wouldn't Inspector Willis
absolutely adore this?
Yes.
I think we owe him something.
You know, for bringing us together.
Something special.
-What do you suggest?
-Hatton Garden.
-You're mad.
-No, I'm not.
The only reason I haven't taken a run
at those diamonds before
is I never did know the exact date
they were being shipped to Antwerp.
I don't know why I didn't think
of asking Scotland Yard.
You're exactly what he said
you were, aren't you?
Only a little better.
I'm a collector of diamonds.
Especially diamonds
that other people have already collected.
And you've never been caught?
Rhodes-12, police...
Zero.
-Who are you calling?
-Willis.
You're calling Willis?
You're calling Willis.
Why am I calling him?
Why are you whispering?
You haven't dialed yet.
Why am I calling him?
Tell him that I mentioned
the name Maxwell Levy,
right out of the blue.
-It's ringing.
-Good.
In a sense, I won't be lying, will I?
Only in the sense
that you won't be telling the truth.
-Still ringing.
-Yeah.
You can never get a cop when you want one.
Yeah. And we don't need this one.
I'm not gonna go through with it.
-I need that date.
-Then get it yourself.
Because I'm not going to do something
that's going to put you in jail forever.
And besides,
I do not wish to be electrocuted.
You can't be electrocuted
from just six volts.
Besides, if you got such a charge
out of stealing two diamond earrings,
just think of the charge you'll get
when you steal
$30 million worth of diamonds.
So, yesterday,
Rhodes finally asked about Mr. Levy.
I never said so.
It's perfectly obvious
from your mutinous expression.
All right, he asked,
but you'll have to catch him yourself
because I'm finished.
I see.
Well, then you leave me no alternative
but to have a word with--
Oh, yes, my father.
I've come to a conclusion, Inspector.
I really don't think the government and he
would miss each other that much.
So, I think it would be a jolly good idea
if you did tell him about me
and then we can wipe the slate clean.
I'm sorry,
but that's the way I feel about it.
Because I have absolutely no intention
of passing on the date of that shipment.
Well, let me put it another way.
Do the names Halliday, Hornfield,
Kinnersley and Drampton
mean anything to you?
No. I don't follow you.
They're all women's prisons.
There's a fairly large selection of them
available in this country,
but I think I should point out
they do have one thing in common.
They are all poisonously unpleasant.
I'll manage somehow. Others have.
Yes. Well, let me draw
a persuasive little picture for you.
Where you will be going, they have
the oddest notions of hospitality.
First, they shave your head.
Then they delouse you,
feed you with something
that a ravenous crocodile would pass up,
then lock you up for the night
with unfriendly lesbian companions,
and you have your own
private little chamber pot under the bed.
It is very unpleasant, I know.
That's why I urge you
to think again and reflect
whether you shouldn't
save yourself all that misery
by passing on the date to Rhodes.
Well, take your time. Reflect well.
I've taken my time
and I've reflected well.
And?
I've decided to save myself
all that misery.
I'll pass on the date.
Splendid.
When is it?
You'll get it in a day or two.
Run along now.
Inspector, I thought I might send you
a little present, a kitten.
They're ever such a lot of fun
if you strangle them right.
Jack, I must say, I don't see the point
of poring over all these maps and charts.
We're never going to pull it off
because we don't have the date.
It's as simple as that.
Do you really think I don't know that?
In any case, I'm getting
a little old for all this thievery.
Nigel, after this one,
we'll quit for keeps.
Marry nice girls, have kids,
grow fat, drink port.
I like port.
Jack, we'll need a million dollars.
Maybe more.
So what?
We're gonna make $30 million, maybe more.
But look, don't you see
there's absolutely no--
Do you mind getting the door?
Do you mind?
-Nigel Lawton.
-Yes.
Gillian Bromley. Hello.
I've heard a lot about you.
Well, I've heard
absolutely nothing whatever about you.
-Hello, beauty.
-Hello.
-Like another bubble bath?
-Absolutely love one.
-Did it go all right?
-Yes, it was fine.
Excuse me.
What were we talking about?
I know. The date.
Ms. Bromley is gonna get us the date.
You are gonna get us the date, aren't you?
-Yes, I am.
-Yes, she is.
Where are you going to get it from?
Hatton Garden, I suppose.
No, Scotland Yard.
All right, don't tell me then.
See, I have this great admirer
at Scotland Yard.
And he's gonna go fishing.
The date is the bait, and I'm the fish.
Jack, I read the other day
about a chap in America
who used a computer
to embezzle $10 million...
-Some coffee.
-How do you want it?
-Black.
-Okay.
There's some made in the kitchen.
-You listening?
-Yes.
When he got the money,
he took it to Russia and bought...
-Do you want some coffee?
-Yes, please.
...$10 million-- Black, no sugar.
-$1O million worth of diamonds.
-Want something to eat?
I don't know what's in there.
-Sandwich, a biscuit?
-I don't think so.
On the open market, he found they
were worth 13 million. So far so good.
Then he tried to convert
the diamonds back into cash,
and that's when they got him.
-See?
-Yeah.
We'll need passports.
You haven't listened to a single word
I've been saying, have you?
All right, passports. What name?
Something exotic.
Oh, Jack, you're not gonna do
another of your accents, are you?
Yes.
-All right. What else?
-Radioman.
What about your friend Ferguson?
The chap you were
in the signals corps with.
He's been out of the trade
for about ten years.
He's a tough cookie though.
-Pilot?
-Ernst Mueller.
Last I heard,
he was flying Cubans into Africa.
-I wonder if Castro knows he's a Nazi.
-Thank you.
-Who cares? He's a damn good pilot.
-Yeah.
I need someone
who knows Amsterdam really well.
Shouldn't be too hard.
This may be a silly question,
but if we are successful,
how do we then go about
converting the stones into cash?
That's exactly what Jack's the best at.
Not as far as I'm concerned.
Thank you.
Could we get back to work, please?
Hello.
Hello, this is your world traveler
from Germany.
-How are you?
-A lot better since the phone rang.
Holy cheese and crackers!
I called you as soon as I could.
No, I meant the call before yours.
My friend finally called,
and he wants to see me
on the 28th at 11 :00.
On the 28th?
He's got a lot of confidence in me.
That's one week.
-Do you think that you can do it?
-Of course I can do it.
Jack?
-Yes?
I do miss you.
-Are you in bed?
- Yes.
-No nightgown?
-No.
No jammies ?
-Neither.
Why don't you meet me in Paris tonight?
Plaza Athne.
-Really?
-9.'00.
I'll be there.
-Gillian?
-Yes?
-Come as you are.
-Absolutely.
Bye-bye.
Ernst.
Rhodes. My friend.
-Good to see you.
-Good to see you.
If it is Rhodes, it must be diamonds, ja?
-Still smart as a whip.
-When is the job?
-Soon. London.
-It is London?
Starts in London,
then you fly over the Channel.
You know how many times I fly the Channel?
Many times.
But this time
you won't be carrying any bombs.
Won't be nearly as much fun,
but then you'll go a lot faster.
If we dropped more bombs last time,
different story.
Well, you can't win them all.
We don't win any of them.
You got to promise
not to strafe any civilians.
Always the jokes, huh?
-What do I fly?
- | | s-125.
HS-125. Nice plane. Alone?
-I need a radioman.
-No, no. I am very good with radio.
I don't know how to tell you this, Ernst,
but you have a German accent.
What German accent?
I already have another man.
Okay, okay, whatever you say.
Who else have you found?
-Nigel Lawton.
-Good man.
Please, one more question.
Three million dollars.
-What is my share?
-That is your share.
Three million? Are you serious?
-Yes.
-I have no words.
I need you in London tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I will already be there one day.
Hey!
Hey, take five, fellas. Take five.
-Fergie!
-Jack, how are you?
-Hey, buddy.
-Say hello to Gillian Bromley.
-Hello to Gillian Bromley.
-Hello.
Come on. Sit up front
with the rhythm section, all right?
I see the Salvation Army
is still making your clothes.
I see you're still faking it on the piano.
Mean to me
Why is he always so mean to me?
You know, as long
as I keep missing the cracks.
It's been a while, Jack.
Been a while and a half.
How do you like Paris?
The people are cool.
I'm all right, can't complain.
Can you bear leaving them for a while?
Come to London?
-Any special place in London?
-Hatton Garden.
Some outfit going
to lose a bit of inventory?
All of them.
Ain't misbehaving
Very ambitious, this guy.
Man's gotta grow.
Who else is in on the gig?
-Nigel.
-Lovely, lovely.
-Ernst Mueller.
-Do I know him?
You weren't in the German army, were you?
I flunked the color test.
-How about it? You in?
-Tell me about the wages.
Well, give or take a few bob...
$30 million.
You get 10%.
I'm misbehaving
-You provide lunch?
-You got it.
-All right.
-Gotta make a phone call.
Okay.
The man is a natural high, huh?
-Absolutely.
-Yeah.
You've known him a long time.
-Why has he never been caught?
-Because he's too damn smart.
What would happen if...
somebody crossed him?
I hate to even think about that, baby.
Sam, I thought I told you
never to play that song.
-Sorry, boss.
-Gotta catch a plane to Amsterdam.
Call Nigel, he'll give you
all the details.
Grab your coat and grab your hat
Beautiful city, Amsterdam.
It's where all the light bulbs
come to have a vacation.
Nigel says this De Goo yer
is the best driver in Europe
and he really knows the city well.
What about me? I'm fast.
I know, I know, you'd like to drive.
No offense, but you're just
a little too kamikaze for me.
Why don't we just leave the job
to a professional?
Well, don't the shops stay open late here.
Don't let the red lights throw you.
All they have here are massage parlors,
leather whips, bondage, French lessons.
It's kind of a home away from home.
Here we are.
You know what always surprises me?
Some of these girls
are really very chic and elegant.
In fact-- ls De Goo yer in?
Come in and sit down.
I wouldn't sit there.
You might catch something.
You don't know where that couch has been.
-Hello.
-Hello, can I help you?
No, just waiting.
-You want to see me?
-De Goo yer?
You want to have some business here?
Someone for you both or to watch or what?
No, something
a little different, actually.
Whatever you like.
If you show us once, we can do it.
I'm Jack Rhodes.
God.
Sit down. We'll talk.
Couldn't we go somewhere
a little more private?
They can't hear
and she's dead above the waist.
-So, you need a driver.
-Right.
We're talking about a lot of money.
Yeah.
Do you need anything else,
like making people disappear?
Either temporarily or permanently.
I can do both tricks.
You do that a lot, I bet.
I like it.
What about terrorist work?
You like that, too?
"Terrorist" is a dangerous word.
I prefer "mercenary."
So, what do you think?
I think I don't like you.
I've only known you a few minutes,
but already I don't like you for years.
Let's go.
You came here to insult me?
No, it just worked out that way.
Move.
Or what?
I don't want to have
a fight in a whorehouse window.
Cause a lot of commotion.
You don't want to be
with this boy, do you?
Don't push your luck.
Incredible face, you know.
If you worked for me, I could retire.
Cyril, hurry up!
Your breakfast is getting cold, as usual.
Cyril, I don't like your tie.
-You gave it to me, dear.
-That's no excuse.
-Cyril, look at the newspaper.
-Something in it?
-The date.
-That made the front page again?
It's the 25th. Six more days
and you'll finish at the Yard.
Hopefully, in a blaze of glory.
-My final case, the capstone of my career.
-What difference will it make?
It has to do with something sacred.
Cyril, you're making no sense, as usual.
This is about the sanctity of property.
Of all the crimes of which man is capable,
the one that really rankles my soul
is the violation of property.
Well, there is your murder, of course,
rape, kidnap, wife-beating.
Oh, ridiculous.
But life, however precious, life perishes.
It's only property that lives on and on.
Now, the man I intend to arrest
has the presumption to usurp for himself
that which we consider to be
the most valuable property of all:
diamonds.
The dearest, noblest,
most direct link we have
with the very core of the planet itself.
The filthy bugger.
Yes, dear.
I'll answer it.
8-3.
Hold on a moment.
It's Pilbrow.
He says it's a matter of some importance.
Hello, Pilbrow.
What? That's not possible.
Tell them we'll come at once.
-I'll meet you there.
-Trouble, dear?
Try catastrophe.
I'm afraid it's final, Inspector.
Diamond House has decided
to make the shipment on the 10th
of next month, rather than the 28th.
May I remind you, sir, of the many
anonymous tips we've received in the past?
These were never this close to a shipment
and never so specifically Hatton Garden.
What exactly did the caller say
about the 28th?
Well, he merely said
to watch for trouble at that time.
That's good enough for us.
Let me assure you, sir, but nothing,
nothing at all will happen.
I personally will stay with the shipment
until it's safely
on its way to Luton Airport.
Then I'll fly on ahead to Antwerp
and cover its arrival there.
Well, why would you not fly all the way
with them yourself, Inspector?
Because I want to make quite sure
that the Belgian police
have taken all possible precautions
at their end.
I hope you're not taking this
too lightly, Inspector.
I must urge you, sir,
most strongly not to alter your date.
Once you do that, from then on,
Diamond House will have
its timetable dictated by tipsters.
Give us one hour.
-Inspector Willis.
-Yes, Pilbrow?
We've just had a call
from Diamond House, sir.
The 28th it is.
-Are you pleased, sir?
-Of course I'm pleased.
I'm just not able
to applaud at this particular moment.
Have you any idea, sir,
who might have given them the tip?
-Yes, I have. I did.
-You, sir?
How else could we get
the massive security we need?
You're a genius, sir.
An out-and-out genius.
In a few more days,
I may be a retired out-and-out genius.
-Sir?
-No more villains to hunt.
No more midnight oil being burnt
stalking the prey.
From now on,
it's the slippers and the pipe,
and listening to the chimes
of that bloody clock on the mantelpiece,
and to Mrs. Willis, of course.
But before that happens,
I'm going to get Rhodes.
The thought of him rotting in jail
might make my rotting at home
slightly more bearable.
Yes, quite, sir. But what is he up to?
Now, we know he's been in Germany
and Paris and seen Mueller and Ferguson.
But I don't understand what he would want
with an engineer and a piano player.
The answer to that question
is absolutely nothing.
But he might want
a great deal from an ex-pilot
and an ex-air traffic controller.
Don't answer it.
It's been so long
since I've had you to myself.
Now then. I am too old to play the cat,
and you're far too pretty for a mouse.
-You promised to leave me alone.
-I intend to keep that promise.
And when did you stop breaking it?
Exactly.
So, you gave Rhodes the date?
-Yes.
-And?
There is no "and." That was the end of it.
-The subject never came up again?
-It did not.
Immediately thereafter, he just started
hopping from country to country?
How did you know that?
Because Her Majesty's Police
and Her Majesty's Immigration
both happen to work for the same majesty.
-Why did he go to Germany?
-I don't know.
Have you any idea why you joined him
in Paris and Amsterdam?
He is supposed
to find me attractive, remember?
Oh, yes. Where did you go in Amsterdam?
I went to the red-light district
and I found
an extremely nice little place--
Where was Rhodes
during all this art appreciation?
He was with me.
-All the time?
-Yes.
-You're lying, you know.
-Please yourself.
Still mutinous?
Well, in case you need to bolster
your flagging enthusiasm
for our little project,
let me assure you
women's prisons have not altered one whit
since we last talked about them.
One more turn of the screw?
Well, I don't think you can catch him
anyway, so I might as well tell you.
He went to these countries
to try to recruit help.
I don't know who he saw because
I waited behind to get the date from you.
How does he plan to steal them?
-Hello.
-Hello.
Shall I come back?
No, you're just in time to meet someone.
Hello.
Chief Inspector Willis. Jack Rhodes.
-Mr. Rhodes.
-Chief Inspector.
"Inspector" is quite sufficient.
"Chief" always strikes me
as somewhat tribal.
The inspector
is an old friend of the family.
I've known Gillian
ever since she was a little girl,
stealing around the house.
Just visiting our country, Mr. Rhodes?
No, I'm a permanent resident, actually.
Really?
What is it, the damp and the drizzle
that dazzles you?
No, I'm one of England's
foul-weather friends.
That's very good.
Lots of exciting challenges over here.
You enjoy a good challenge, do you?
If the prize is right.
-I like him.
-I knew you would.
Well, I'm afraid
I must get back to the Yard.
Your work must be very exciting.
It's routine mostly.
It does have its rewards, though.
At least it did.
I shall be retiring in just a few days.
-Mandatory, unfortunately.
-Why is that?
Well, it seems that I had the bad taste
to age rather than die on them.
Well, that hardly seems fair, does it?
I mean, your side has to retire
and the other side just becomes
little, old, rich, bad guys.
That's right. Not very fair on me, either.
I have to retire
on a most measly little pension.
But I shall miss it all. The criminals,
the immorality, the deception.
All the things that make life worthwhile.
Well, I mustn't complain. I've achieved
pretty much what I set out to do.
Lots of heads on the wall?
Well, I always felt
there was room for just one more.
-Well, I hope to see you again.
-I'm sure you will.
-Would you be my guest?
-How kind.
Your restaurant?
People say the food is good enough to eat.
I might just take you up on that.
Now, if you should find yourself
in the vicinity of Scotland Yard
before the week's out, one never knows.
I'd love to see it.
I'd love to show it to you.
-Goodbye.
-Inspector.
I'll show myself out.
And give my very best to your father.
Did he dust your entire body
for my fingerprints?
God! Don't joke about it.
You don't seem to appreciate
how much he wants you.
I do. I'm looking forward
to seeing him again.
Do you know what?
-I want you.
-When?
-Now.
-Where?
Wherever.
I have to make a phone call.
-You need permission?
-Cute.
Nigel.
I have to talk fast, Nigel.
I need a-- the vehicle.
Could you arrange that?
Good.
No, I have a driver.
The best.
What about
the Pakistani an-Arabian situation?
You know, Turhan Bey and Maria Montez.
Excellent.
I have to call you back, Nigel.
Something just came up.
Hello, Jack.
-Hello, Nigel.
-Morning, Ms. Bromley.
Hello.
How are they getting along?
-Mueller and Fergie?
-Yeah.
Mueller loves him.
I think it must be his dark glasses.
-You have enough decals?
-Yes, plenty, I should think.
-Radio?
-Yep. In here.
-Any problems getting the plane?
-No. One has one's friends.
Here's the lease.
You'll be pleased to see
that we're a Panamanian corporation.
-Based in Beirut.
-With a Liechtenstein charter.
Did you remember
to write in "diamond thief"?
No, no, I put "dope smugglers."
Didn't want to arouse suspicion.
Very sensible.
-Hello, Fergie.
-Hey, Jack. How are you?
-How do you like the plane?
-Excellent.
Beautiful. It's a Steinway.
-Good to see you.
-Remember Gillian?
-Hello, Ms. Bromley. We meet again.
-Hi, yes.
-Ernst Mueller, Gillian Bromley.
-Hello.
He doesn't talk much.
Jack, when are you gonna tell us the date?
The day before the caper.
That's not very sporting of you.
What's the matter? Don't you trust us?
You're right.
-It's the 28th.
-Good.
God, that's tomorrow!
Well, that's the day before the caper.
Ms. Bromley is in this with us?
Without Ms. Bromley,
there'd be no "this" to be in.
Oh, absolutely.
-What did he say?
-I think he wants to jump you.
British Overseas Airline flight number 76
now arriving from London.
Welcome to Antwerp.
Monsieur Sharma?
Yes, sir. I'm Mr. Sharma.
Yes, sir. Can I help you, sir?
This is your wife?
This is my wife, yes, sir.
This is my wife, yes, sir.
She lower the veil.
Would you lower your veil, my dear?
She's shy to the point of modesty.
Thank you for the excellent stamping
of my passport.
-Your passport, sir.
-Good day.
That was the worst Peter Sellers
I have ever heard.
I wasn't doing Peter Sellers.
I was doing Peter Sellers
doing Omar Sharif.
Inspector Willis?
This is Inspector Vanderveld.
The people you suspect
are under strict surveillance.
My men have followed the couple
to L'Hotel Splendide.
Now, why should we not arrest them?
Because as yet,
there's no evidence against them.
If the diamonds are taken anywhere,
my guess is it will happen in Antwerp,
somewhere between the airport
and their arrival in the city.
But why should you think
the diamonds are in danger?
Do have some inside information?
Have you, perhaps, had a tip-off?
Instinct, Inspector.
The best part of a policeman,
which allows him to think like a criminal.
Now, I'm only asking your permission
for me to be in on the case.
In on the case?
But if, as you say, there is no evidence,
well, there is no case.
Of course. I simply mean
that I'd like to be in on the case,
just in case there is one.
-A case, if you follow my thinking.
-Oh, dear.
Look, once I'm quite sure
that the diamonds are safely
on their way from Hatton Garden,
I will fly on ahead to Antwerp
and meet you at the airport
before they arrive.
Do I have your cooperation?
Rest assured,
we shall do everything possible
to make sure that the shipment is safe.
Always a pleasure
to talk with you, Inspector.
The man is a lunatic. Good night.
Another shipment ready to go.
It will be the normal routine for loading.
Yes, sir.
I don't mean to be rude,
but what exactly are we doing here?
Well, we're in Holland.
I thought I'd show you a windmill.
You've seen one, you've seen them all.
Right.
What's this supposed to be?
This is what you drive
to get us into the airport.
-And hopefully out.
-Uh-huh.
How did it get here?
-Nigel arranged it.
-He is a handy man.
Smart, too.
We botch this up, he'll still be alive.
From this moment on,
it starts to get sticky.
So, if you want out,
now's the time to say so.
-When you say "out," what do you mean?
-You tell me.
What's my share in this?
Charming. Right to the end.
You haven't told me anything about it.
I don't know what's going to happen.
-I never tell anybody everything.
-Never?
If I told you everything,
it'd scare the hell out of you.
I doubt it.
-One more thing.
-What?
I love you.
The diamonds
are being loaded at this very moment.
I'll see you shortly.
All secure, sir.
Our people are in position,
ready and waiting.
Very good. I just spoke
to Inspector Vanderveld.
Our couple is still under surveillance
in the hotel.
-Excellent, sir.
-Well, I'm on my way to Antwerp.
Good hunting, sir.
Just take it easy. Plenty of time.
You don't have to drive
to the airport fast.
Don't panic.
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
Loud and clear, Nigel. Loud and clear.
Golf-Bravo...
Bravo...
Tango.
Mother's in the maternity ward.
Did you say "mother"?
I said "mother."
Mother's expecting twins.
Mother's on the way to delivery room.
Romeo-Tango, ready for takeoff.
Romeo-Tango, clear for takeoff.
Surface Wind 05573 knots.
Romeo-Tango rolling.
Mother's given birth.
V1.
VR.
V2.
V1. Rotate.
V2.
Gear up.
Gear up.
-Gear up.
-Gear up.
We're getting close to the midway point.
We got to be near them
when London switches them over to Antwerp.
He's somewhere here.
There's only one sky between us.
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango,
this is Antwerp.
Antwerp, this is Golf-Romeo-Tango.
Romeo-Tango, this is Antwerp.
We have an emergency.
The airfield is closed.
Divert to Amsterdam.
Antwerp, this is Golf-Romeo-Tango.
We are diverting to Amsterdam.
Give me a heading for Amsterdam.
That's the fourth time in the last
three months they've diverted us.
The new course is 067.
Amsterdam, this is
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
We are diverting from Antwerp.
You're gonna have to hustle
if we're gonna make Antwerp
before they groove in on Amsterdam, eh?
What would I do without you?
Drive to the far side of the field.
-Bonjour, Inspector.
-Bonjour.
The shipment is safely on its way.
Splendid. Then we're almost halfway there.
Right on time.
-What do we do now?
-We wait.
Good morning, Antwerp.
This is Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
Romeo-Tango, roger. Runway 26 right.
-Wind is southwest at 9 knots.
{Bear down.
Gear down.
Three greens.
So far, so good.
Now we are halfway there.
Amsterdam, this is
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.
Romeo-Tango, go ahead.
Amsterdam, this is Golf-Romeo-Tango.
Request landing clearance.
Romeo-Tango, roger.
Clear for final approach.
Runway 17 left.
The wind is southwest at 7 knots.
-Gear down.
-Gear down.
Three greens.
All right. Here we go, beauty.
What the hell is this?
Looks like some kind of security check.
We've never stopped here before.
I don't like it.
What's going on back there?
Move, move! Move, move!
Was anyone hurt?
-Just their pride.
-What?
Only a little stoned.
You ready to take your driver's test,
Ms. Bromley?
Jolly well bet your bottom I am.
So, Inspector, our fears
seem to have been for naught.
-What is wrong?
-Quartz!
They are all quartz. Absolutely worthless.
We're coming up to a fork in the road.
I want you to go right.
Mr. Rhodes,
I haven't said this before, but...
I do love you.
Ever such a lot.
Thank you, darling. Now hang a right.
They're down to their last Rabbit!
We're almost home, babe!
What a pity. I was just getting into this.
Shoot, baby, they're here!
-Just passed your driver's test.
-Bet your ass I did.
Okay. Head for heaven!
-Going out?
-Yes.
With all that?
I'm not coming back.
You can get in touch with my lawyer.
-You mean you're leaving?
-What an amazing deduction.
Well, might one inquire
what made you decide so suddenly?
It's not sudden. Why should I stay with
you now that you're an ex-chief inspector
who's the laughingstock
of the whole country?
Charity, perhaps?
Charity begins abroad.
Registered letter for the chief inspector.
Ex-chief inspector.
Sorry to hear about that, Mrs. Willis.
Ex-Mrs. Willis.
Your royal highness.
Bye, Cyril.
A toast to us.
And the late Inspector Willis.
How he must have felt
when they opened that box at Antwerp.
Just quartz.
It is so beautiful, darling.
Must be nearly as big
as the Star of India.
That was the...
dumbest, most moronic thing
any man has ever done.
Quartz.
-What?
-The whole lot was quartz.
Everything we took
from Amsterdam was quartz.
I have a question,
but you must give it to me very gently.
The packet in Antwerp was quartz, right?
Right.
The packet we picked up
in Amsterdam was quartz?
Right.
Then here is my question.
Where are the diamonds?
-Hello, old Kirk.
-Pleasant trip?
First class all the way.
Any problems with Customs?
No, I had no problems. I've--
I've still got my Scotland Yard ID card.
You remember Ms. Bromley.
Ms. Bromley, how nice to see you again.
I was trying to explain to Ms. Bromley
who has the diamonds.
Yes.
-Well, I have the diamonds.
-He has the diamonds.
I'm hereto sell them to Mr. Rhodes.
You have the diamonds?
A Scotland Yard chief inspector
in charge of shipments
has ample opportunity
to switch things around.
He's pulled off the perfect crime,
except for one thing.
He doesn't know
who to sell the diamonds to now.
That's right.
If I'd gone looking for a fence,
they'd have been
delighted to turn me in, of all people.
I don't believe this.
How much do you want for the diamonds?
Well...
Would you think that
one million dollars is fair?
No. I don't think
one million dollars is fair.
I think three million dollars is fair.
Well, let me say this:
I prefer your definition of "fair."
I thought you would.
Then you two have been
conspiring together all the time.
No, we've never actually conspired.
You could call us
non-conspiring conspirators.
For instance, he knew
there wouldn't be any diamonds in Antwerp.
I wish you could have seen my expression
of mortification and humiliation.
I thought I did it rather well.
Yes, I bet you did do it rather well.
You tailed me rather well.
And discovered everything
you wanted me to discover.
The pilot, the wizard radio operator...
In other words, the second plane.
And Amsterdam.
It is the only other city
on the diamond run.
Darling, what was it that made you aware
of what was going on?
Well, first of all, there was
his obsession with catching me,
blackmailing you, trusting that you
wouldn't double-cross or report him,
and that boring, boring story
about Maxwell Levy.
You caught on fairly soon, eh?
-Roughly, how soon?
-Roughly, immediately.
Then it was soon.
Then you two
were exchanging signals in my flat.
Yes. Would you like some champagne?
Thank you.
So, the fact the inspector
went to Antwerp told you
that he wanted you
to get away with it in Amsterdam.
And that is why you were almost positive
that the diamonds we stole
would be fakes, right?
Wrong. I was absolutely positive.
Unidentified party steals fakes.
Everyone assumes they're diamonds, but...
they'd already been stolen.
Sheer perfection.
I've always had this slight fondness
for sheer perfection.
God, you've gotten away
with stealing $30 million.
Yes, but $30 million
won't buy what it used to.