Running with Demons (2011) Movie Script

Todd Crandell:
My name is Todd Crandell.
I was a drug addict and
alcoholic for 13 years of my
My wife Melissa and I
and our four children,
live in
Sylvania, Ohio; my hometown.
Voice Over (Todd Crandell):
In 1993 I got a second chance
and it changed my life.
Now I change others lives.
Today I am a licensed
professional counselor,
a licensed chemical
dependency counselor and have
an MAC;
Master of Counseling degree.
I am the founder of
Racing for Recovery,
a nonprofit dedicated to
helping others with their
drug and alcohol
dependency and recovery.
But because of the support
from the people here...
Crandell: I am also an
extreme triathlete and use
endurance races like the
Ironman and now the Ultraman
triathlon to spread my
message that with sobriety,
anything is possible.
Everything I do, I do for my
and Racing for Recovery.
But theres something I
haven't recovered from,
battles I am
still fighting.
This is my
struggle, this is my life,
this is my story.
I am running with demons.
Ominous noises and hard rock
start up...
Male Speaker: We have the man
who is going to be the next
to finish.
The man who has shown that
with sobriety anything is
He became sober
April 15th 1993;
he's been Racing for Recovery
to help other people with
drug and alcohol problems.
Here he is coming on
the homestretch,
he s done the
world championships;
he did that last year.
Its going to be 42 year
old Todd Crandell out of
Sylvania, Ohio and
a tremendous job.
18 Ironman to his credit
including Ironman Canada in
the year 2000 he s
racing away to the way to the
32 oh 3, 33 tops in there.
He's married with four
children might be
very proud to of this stuff
as well 10:30 on day one,
11:12 yesterday
To Todd Crandell,
congratulations went from
addict to Ironman.
That was a very great title
as well and the film for now
Running with Demons and we
certainly appreciate the fact
that already this year
he's done Ironman Germany,
Ironman Switzerland and
New Orleans 70 point 3.
Thanks for coming
to Canada Todd Crandell,
no doubt he is going to get
another tattoo about this one
Hard rock music starts and plays
over the images...
Sounds of water underneath
Male Speaker: Good luck
to you all.
May the wind be at your back,
see you at the finish line.
Male Speaker: All right.
Cheering sounds with clapping
Male Speaker: All right you
got about 10 minutes to get
warmed up everybody.
Todd Crandell: This is
the part that's like...
It s the most nerve-racking
of Ironman's anything the
start of these things is
the most nerve-racking.
It'll take me about maybe 20
minutes into the swim before
I kind of like, okay Im good
nice start going and like I
said getting out of the water
I'll be like wow I got that
done. And then the
bike for me is the biggest
I am not a great biker that s
the hardest thing for me so
the next, the rest of today
and then all of tomorrow will
be the challenge.
And then the run for
me that's my thing.
Hey thanks, thanks thanks.
Male Speaker (off Screen):
It is time.
Todd Crandell: Let's go.
Male Speaker:
Undecipherable over PA System
Speaker: The race has begun.
Male Speaker: Yeah he's on
his way and Darwin asked me
how he was in
the last Ultraman.
And he's definitely
relaxed this time around and
a lot less stuff going on
and he knows what he s doing.
And he knows of his
ability so it is... uh
he'll be fine it'll be a
goodtime out there he s going
to have a goodtime
and enjoy himself so.
Male Speaker: Yeah
it's a beautiful morning.
Male Speaker: Yeah the
water s perfect.
And this is the start so.
Male Speaker: Yeah.
Rock music starts up and
runs through montage.
Todd Crandell: Everything I
am today started from the
tragedy of my mom,
committing suicide.
She battled a drug addiction
that wasn't as long as mine
but it was intense.
She did cocaine, drank, did
a lot of psychedelics she was
into acid
quite a bit.
But speed mainly
was her thing,
speed and heroine.
And had overdosed
a number of times,
had to be brought back to
life a couple of times.
My mom died from driving
herself head on into a brick
wall under a bridge, under a
bridge overpass.
She drove herself head on
into it and took her own
Emotionally, the traumas that
we face in our younger lives
or even when
something happens later on,
that's the stuff that
affects how we handle it.
So looking at the situation
I'm in with respect to my
marriage right now.
In a lot of ways,
the anger, the sadness,
the worry, all
those feelings that I have
right now are the same as
what I went through as a kid.
I don't want to be abandoned,
I don't want to feel broken
again, I don't,
I've experienced that.
I don't handle that well and
I don't want to go through
that again and
that's what I'm,
feeling right now.
It's almost like a test, it's
like I'm being thrown back
emotionally to three and a
half years old and saying
you're dealing with
this all over again.
And this time how are
you going to handle it.
So I mean having our marriage
and I'm thinking back at how
I used to handle this
stuff with my mom.
With anger, you know,
suicidal thoughts,
depression that's how I
know how to deal with these
feelings that are coming back
into my life again which I
thought were gone and here
they are again and that's all
I'm really equipped to deal
with it are those feelings.
Now I'm doing everything I
can to improve on that but
I'm not perfect.
So when those issues come
up that's where it
stems from.
And I'm definitely
correlating the two because
they'e the same feelings;
it's just a different
timeframe in my life
and a different person.
It's not like I woke up one
day and said - Oh poor me my
mom died, I'm going to throw
my life down the tube. But
it's a catalyst to what
eventually led to that self
destruction at the
highest level.
And I was searching for ways
to deal with that understand
it overcome it and
they were all wrong.
Then it started to become,
well this is my life this is
my destiny Im going to
end up the way my mom did;
this is my job now.
Those reasons then started
to develop into a way of life
which then became...
including a full blown
I thought that using drugs
and drinking as much alcohol
as I could somehow would make
me feel better about myself
and would take away the
emotional traumas that I was
dealing with.
But that doesn't work, and
that's when drugs just became
a way for me to not feel and
my first thought of the day
was I hate myself, I got to
get through another day and
you start adding,
cocaine, heroin,
pot, acid, Quaaludes, Valium,
speed everything I could get
my hands on to that
mix and it then becomes,
I hate myself, I don't
really want to live,
and I'm physically strung out
on these chemicals I've been
putting in my system, for
the past few years and I'm
physically going through
withdrawals right now and I
need to get this
stuff out of my system.
So then it's, who
did I lie to last night?
Where am I going to get
the money to pay for my
Who's lying next
to me in the bed?
Who did I beat up last night?
Where did all this
blood come from?
Why is my window shattered?
Why are the cops
knocking on my door?
That's what I
dealt with everyday.
None of that is
appealing, it's sad,
it's depressing but that was
my life because of the choice
I made to use drugs
period, end of story.
No disease, no,
poor me I relapsed,
I made a choice to use this
stuff and I paid the price
for it severely on many
Male speaker (OS): Over
here Todd.
Tony (the Director): repeating
Todd! Over here... Todd
He's gonna beach himself.
Hey Todd, you've got to
go that way.
I didn't want to
be a drug addict.
I didn't want to lose
my friends,
my family, but I did.
And I was pissed off about it.
I really didn't want
to live like that,
I just didn't: A) know how to
not live without drugs and
B) I didn't want to deal with
the consequences that
came along with my using.
Because I wanted to figure
out a way to either drink
successfully. You know how can
I do cocaine and how can I do
heroine and smoke crack and
do crystal meth and drink
and be normal?
Or how can I do all these
things and not end up in jail
the next day?
Or wake up in a
different state,
not knowing where I am?
So I was looking for ways to
be a functional drug addict.
which is nonsense, but in
my mind I kept thinking,
Why does this stuff
affect me the way it does?
When I watch other people
that have a few and they go
home, why am I always the
crazy one? So I did make
several attempts to either
be a normal drinker which I
really don't know what
that is or fix the problem.
But I didn't want to
put the work into it.
I was pulling myself
back to my using ways.
So when I went to rehab and
I spent two weeks in there
puking and vomiting crapping
myself and laying on the
floor sweating and I survived
that and had the opportunity
to put my life back together
and would get out and choose
to go back and use
drugs again,
that was me doing that.
I really didn't know any
other way to live and I
couldn't figure out how
to stop using the drugs,
so you're kind of
stuck in limbo.
Male speaker: [indiscernible]
Male speaker (OS):
This is the man who
did race in Hawaii last year
and there he did four hours
and 33 seconds, for
the swim.
He's going to be around 3:50
here today so he has improved
his time as well.
And it looks like And it
looks like as though...
But here we go lets
welcome Todd out the 42 year
old from Sylvania racing for
recovery and races
to finish the swim 3:49:55
his time unofficially,
So very close now.
Bird sounds.
Todd Crandell: The turning
point or as I'll call it
wholeheartedly, my
gift from God that said,
You don't have to live this
way anymore was April 15th
of 1993 after getting a
third drunk driving charge.
I got a
gift that said,
I don't have to do this
anymore and I knew
it was over.
I walked into an
oil change facility,
urinated all over the floor,
cops came arrested me and I
got my... whatever
you want to call it.
Wake up call, epiphany,
life-changing moment however,
you want to describe it, I
had one and for the first
time in my life, I felt that
I could be saved from it.
I knew that those
days were over and that there
was a new world out there and
I was going to experience it,
live it.
And I thank God for
it every day now.
Announcements in BG.
Todd Crandell: Yeah
but look at these shade,
these are sweet, huh.
Todd Crandell: Am
I going to make the cutoff
Todd Crandell: I'm starting now already?
Scott Horns:
Yeah, you're okay.
Yeah you made
the swim cutoff,
good job.
Darwin speaking: That was
our first worry.
Scott Horns: Yeah.
Todd Crandell:
Darwin: You have to walk
your bike to the tail end of
Crandell: Okay.
Crandell: Okay.
Todd Crandell: Thanks man.
Todd: Dude.
That's 6.2 miles.
Scott Horns:
Have fun out there.
Female Speaker: Great job.
Male Speaker:
Todd Crandell:
Misc. race sounds, followed
by ominous music...
Todd: All right boys,
let's have some fun now.
Todd: Where the hell am I going?
Hard rock music plays
Heavy Wind sounds.
Todd: the reason I do
everything that I do is to
share a worthwhile message
of hope while promoting the
organization that
I started in 2001 which is
Racing for Recovery.
How racing for recovery got
started was something that
totally came out
of the blue to me.
Again, I think it was divine
intervention if you will but
I had just finished doing
Ironman in New Zealand and
our local newspaper ran a
story about my life at that
The newspaper article came
out and the response was
With people that I had
known from my past as a drug
addict, coaches, teachers,
even police officers, a ton
of people were calling the
house all saying
the same thing,
basically, Oh my God, I
can't believe what you're
doing today. And
I thought, Well,
okay, that's nice, I
appreciate your positive
feedback and your
kind words but okay,
what can I do with this now?
Female Speaker: Can I have a
Todd Crandell: Oh yeah.
Be good. Nice to see you.
Female Speaker: Thank you.
Male Speaker: You're the man.
Todd Crandell (voice over):
I've been a firm believer in,
You can't just take
what has graciously been
given to you and hoard it for yourself.
You must give it back
and have that influence
someone else.
So that's where the catalyst
or the seed was planted for
me to do something that
was greater than myself and
that's how Racing for
Recovery was formed.
Scott (co-Trainer):
Darwin: So your water is down
there in the ugly bottle
Todd Crandell: Okay.
Dump, you guys gotta
douse me with some stuff to
cool me down too.
Todd feeling Water: Oh man.
How are you feeling?
Todd Crandell: It's hot.
I hate it still but I
probably shouldn't take them
this early.
Darwin: You took two so we
can take two the next time
you stop on one of...
Todd Crandell
(interrupting): Okay.
Todd: Fuck.
Okay, I'm good.
Darwin: Alright.
Todd Crandell: 20
miles, another 70?
Todd Crandell: All right.
Man it's good.
So water and all
right whatever.
Scott Horns: It's just
another gatorade. Flavored.
Todd Crandell: Is this it?
Darwin Holt: No, not yet.
Todd Crandell: Not yet.
I'm like damn I must be
hallucinating already.
Scott Horns: You're
hallucinating already.
Todd Crandell: All right but
were good and everything
is good.
Scott Horns: Yeah
good, keep going man.
Tood: Okay.
Darwin Holt: No,
everything looks great.
Todd Crandell:
Okay thanks guys.
When I started Racing for
Recovery I was a proud holder
of a bachelor's
degree in Business,
I was a pharmaceutical sales
representative making I think
at a time
between 60 and 70,
thousand dollars a year.
I had life insurance
and a company car,
I was doing what
society thinks every husband
should be doing.
I was married, I had two
kids at the time and life was
And then here comes this
concept to give back and do
good and really find
my calling if you will.
Which from a person who had
no self esteem whatsoever to
starting to grab some of that
and actually find a
purpose in life, for someone
like me it was huge and like
everything Racing for
Recovery was my life.
I poured everything
into it, financially,
emotionally, it
was everything;
it was my third
child at the time.
Fast forward
nine years later,
it's cost me everything.
It's hard it's... I've, I
remember when the ESPN thing
and I received an email
from a lady from the Midwest
Kansas or
somewhere and she said,
You know I saw your story on
ESPN don't lose your family
over it. And at the time I
remember thinking are you
crazy, I'm not going to
lose my family over this.
And I'm on the verge of
watching that happen and I
I don't want it to happen
because I don't want to
fail I don't
want them to have to explain,
God you had everything
and you screwed that up too
because I screwed
everything else up.
My marriage is on thin
ice; I just struggle with,
how did this happen.
How do you find you're
calling in life and how do
you have people that at
one day can tell you,
You saved my son's life.
And then go home and not
wonder if your
wife and kids are going to be
there. You know?
To travel the world, be in a
hotel room in another country
and I can't sleep because I
wonder what's going on at
Battling am I
doing the right thing,
am I showing my kids that
their dad's a good person.
Am I sacrificing my family to
help someone else and I have.
Not intentionally, I
didn't intentionally say you
know just like I
didn't intentionally say I
want to grow up and be a drug
head I certainly didn't say,
yeah I want to start a
program that is going to cost
me my marriage.
So it's not like I'm a guy
sitting here going screw it,
let her walk out.
I'm not doing
that, I'm going,
I'm sorry and what can I do?
And everything I'm
doing isn't working.
Darwin Holt: Going at about
9K and then you're
coming back.
Scott Horns: Slow down.
Darwin Holt: Then you're...
Then you're coming back 9K.
Todd Crandell: Okay.
Darwin Holt: So think 20K.
So you're going up.
Todd: Okay
Todd Crandell: So
well be like miles seven.
Darwin Holt: No don't.
Shh, shh.
Then you got a
climb of about,
I'm going to tell it's a half
an hour so you take your time
to make sure you take
half an hour to get up it.
And then you got it
downhill to the finish.
Todd Crandell:
Okay that's it.
Darwin Holt: That's rights so
you only have one
Todd: Okay
Darwin Holt: We're
getting ready for tomorrow.
Todd Crandell: So
take your time now.
Darwin Holt: Right no, no
Todd Crandell: Okay I'm
taking a leak I want some.
Scott Horns:
What do you want,
what do you want?
Todd Crandell: I'll
take some an Endurolyte.
Scott Horns: Okay.
Todd Crandell: Some V8
and ensure.
Scott Horns: Okay all
right let's get it.
Todd Crandell: And I got
to take a quick break Tony:
Director Tony Armer:
That's fine.
Hey Todd sent Melissa a text
she said awesome and to tell
you that you're
family loves you.
Darwin Holt: Well see
he's getting tired and he's
starting to fight it and so
what we're really trying to
do now is we're trying to get
give him permission
to back things off and get
fuelled up for tomorrow.
Right now he's thinking that
he needs to keep going hard.
He's trying to find some flow
but he's trying to find flow
at too high a pace.
So we're just trying to
mentally give him the...
what is the the word
I'm looking for.
Scott Horns: He said he's
tired I thought he meant
physically and then he
mentioned again and then he
said mentally.
He said physically
he's fine. I'm like oh.
Darwin Holt: Yeah, well
he's just fighting it right.
Scott Horns: Yeah.
Darwin Holt: So we're just
trying to give him an out and
the out simply is that he's
going to ease off a little
bit and get fuelled up.
Tony: And this is only
like day one I mean.
Darwin Holt: Day one
yeah the problem though,
this part of day one is the
fact that in the back of my
mind in the back of his mind
he still has all of day two
and all of day three.
And that's always there until
it's over with and so you
always worry about
day two and day three until
day two is over with.
And it's a big, big package
still and he isn't through
enough of it
mentally to see the end.
I'm going to tell you take
it easy on the down is you're
not going to make up any
time by being silly okay.
Todd Crandell:
Suppose we can use it.
Darwin Holt: Second thing is
I want you to drink lots of
that on the down hills
whenever you can when
you're not breaking.
Todd Crandell: Okay.
Darwin Holt: We got a car
behind you...
Darwin's Voice OS:
Great first day.
Sounds of a bike spinning
followed by outdoor sounds
Cheering can be heard...
Male Speaker on PA system:
This is Todd Crandell, 43 years
old from Sylvania Ohio Racing
for Recovery superstar...
10 hours, 50 minutes and about
10 seconds and a reminder in
Hawaii when he completed Day
one last year he did 11 hours
1 minute 49 seconds.
Scott Horns: Wow.
Male Speaker: So with he is
thirty one and a half minutes
up on the time in Hawaii last
year on the end of day one.
This is the man whose done
18 Ironman triathlons in his
career including this year
he's already competed in
Germany and Switzerland.
So our congratulations, he
is the CEO of Racing for
For those people who
are looking for sobriety.
Todd Crandell: Hi there kiddo
Female Speaker: Good job buddy.
Todd Crandell: I'm
worried about tomorrow.
Female Speaker: You'll be
fine just get lots of salt in
Todd Crandell: I mean is
is day two harder
than it is in Hawaii?
Todd Crandell: Thank God.
Todd Crandell: Yeah, all
right I'm tired I just did
those two Ironmans a
couple of weeks ago man and
Female Speaker: Yep.
Todd Crandell:
I'm feeling it.
Todd Crandell: Yep
see you in the morning.
Todd Crandell:
All right thanks.
rock song ends, birds chirp
Today is then, it's
going to be all right today.
Male Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Todd Crandell: It
did in Hawaii so.
Male Speaker: Doing
good today I mean.
Todd Crandell: Yeah I ate
and peeing and you know?
Male Speaker: Yeah I got it.
Tony Armer: What do
you think you're time
will be today?
What's your time goal today?
Todd Crandell: Under 12.
Scott Horns: 12 hrs.
Male Speaker: Oh wow.
Todd Crandell: 12 Yeah.
Under 12 yeah...
but no I think I did Hawaii's
in under 11.
I didn't do an 11 any day.
Scott Horns: Yeah it was
like high tens I think...
Todd: yeah.
Todd Crandell: And this is
supposedly should be less
strenuous than that
so probably under 11.
Scott Horns: Yeah.
Todd Crandell: As long it's
under the 12 hour cut off
that good but I don't want
to be out there 12 hours.
Scott Horns: Worst case,
you're still done by six
though because you got a nice
hour of cooler weather so.
Todd Crandell: That's true.
Yeah starting an hour
earlier is actually good.
Scott: You
get back to the room,
cool down everything
Todd Crandell: When I get done
today I'm going
I get done today I'm going
to rattle off 20 pushups.
My buddy goes, When you get
done with that jump up and go,
that was nothing and
start doing some pushups.
He ain't all there.
Tony (OS): And neither are you.
Todd Crandell: Of
course neither am I right?
Todd: Good point.
Announcer: Allright everyone.
How about a big hand
everyone for the athletes.
the athletes.
Announcer: Okay we're
going to do a countdown;
I don't have the horn so it's
going to be a countdown and
I'll tell you to go.
All right every one ready?
Five, four, three, two, one
away we go thanks very much
have a good day out there.
Rock Music plays
Rock Music plays
Still music - no dialogue.
Music winds down...
Music winds down...
Cheering, encouragement.
Music still playing.
Music still playing.
Todd Crandell:
Again just as I take full
responsibility for the
choices I made during my 13
years as a drug user and the
consequences that I paid for
those, I'll take full
responsibility for the
choices I've made to
pursue Racing for Recovery to
the highest level
of what that's cost
my family.
I didn't
intentionally do this,
I'm not that stupid but I
have a hard time of letting
my passion and my desires
getting in the way of other
...other people.
I mean I
don't want to lose them.
But to... I ah, I don't
know that's the battle.
I think that I - whatever
I've got to say what I've got
to say.
[ think I deserve
some happiness and this
stuff too.
I know it's not all
about me, but it's like,
Man, I know what it's
like to... be a drug rep and
to not have the
confidence to walk in and
stand in front of doctors and
nurses knowing that I'm not
good enough and I
have to act like I am.
But knowing that I was making
good money or whatever good
money is that's
all relative,
you know and having my
wife be pleased with that,
but I lost my self in the
process and when you start to
battle... you know... suicidal
thoughts in a sober environment.
battle... you know... suicidal
thoughts in a sober environment.
You're not really living
what sobriety is supposed to
So I do not want to
go back to an environment
or a lifestyle that really
isn't my best interest,
because I feel that I have to
be at my best in order to be
the best for my family and
the people that I'm trying to
However, I just don't want to
be criticized and condemned
any more for what's in my
heart and what I believe in
Because the down
side of it is brutal.
I mean how do you overcome
something that's
kind of rough.
I'm not saying surviving
a drug addiction is the
greatest accomplishment in
the world because it's not.
There are many other
tragedies out there.
But I set myself back and
put myself in a big hole.
And I got out with the
help of a lot of people,
and I just didn't think that
I have to pay the price like
this, with a family for
trying to do some
I bet I struggle with
that everyday man like,
why does it have to be so
rough? The past four years
have been really
difficult for Melissa and I.
And I'll take part
for my part of it,
but I didn't intend for
any of this to happen,
no, again that's it I didn't
intend for it to happen,
I don't know what to do
Music plays
Music plays
Music plays
I'm tired of being a failure
man, I've been a failure my
whole life... and...
I'm failing at this too, but I
guess I did it to myself.
I'm failing at this too, but I
guess I did it to myself.
But what you do, you know, I
quit doing this now go back
and being a drug rep and
then I'll always have the
question, What if?
You know what if I did that
last speaking engagement,
what if I met the right
person they helped Racing for
Recovery get to the next
level and I missed it.
Although I keep pushing,
watch my family walk out the
door, worry about what
divorce is going to do for
us, the kids.
Listen to my
oldest daughter at times,
say she might think
that it's better,
hey what have I done?
Music plays - a song called
Falling apart
Tony: Mellissa says good
job wants to know how you're
Scott continued:
don't worry about that you're
doing great on time
just keep pulling away.
You can't burn -
your meltdown already.
Scott Horns: It's not,
it's just this stretch,
and there's going to be some
other stretches but you got
also a lot of down
hills to speed up to,
Just keep plugging away the
climbers just look around too
Music plays
Music plays
Music plays
Music plays
Music plays
Todd Crandell: I'm just
fried man...
Todd Crandell: I'm not... I'm
worried I'm close to cut off...
Darwin Holt: No
you're just fine.
Scott Horns: Don't
worry about it okay.
Darwin Holt: You see what
happens when you're annoyed
don't worry
you're doing fine.
He's going through a bit of
the patch right now and we're
going to stay with him pretty
close here and
we're going to kind of try
to keep him wet and cool and
we're going to try
and get him out of it.
He's got another six,
seven K of this climb.
Are you concerned he
says four miles
an hour, he's concerned,
are you concerned at all?
I mean of course
you'll never let him know.
Darwin Holt: No I'm not,
no, he's fine time wise,
it's a long day yet.
The only concern that we have
right now is that
he's starting to get ahead of
himself and worry about that.
And it's so
early to be honest,
he's still got another
seven hours of bike.
So we've got to
get him off of that,
we've got to get him thinking
that things are fine and that
he's putting in the effort
that's required to get him
under that cut off and then
we're going to get there.
But it's just a patch it's
related to the terrain it's
hot, starting to heat up,
it's a little bit windy so,
we'll get him...
Scott Horns: He sees this
slow pace and he thinks
thinks, I'm going to do this
for the next five or seven
hours, I'm not
going to get anywhere,
says, No. (he is interrupted)
Dave Barrett: You're not
concerned at all about this?
Scott Horns: No, not at all,
it's like you're going to go
downhill, one kilometer
here and he'll be fine so.
No time wise we're good.
Todd Crandell: I
don't know man,
I don't even know
what I'm saying anymore,
that's just the
reality of this stuff man,
it's brutal.
I just don't know what to do,
but if you know I... I know...
I just don't know what to do,
but if you know I... I know...
went through that addiction
and I'll say it now,
I'm not trying to be weird or
anything but I know God gave
me that that
clarity to say enough,
to do what I'm doing today
Darwin Holt: All right: Okay.
Todd Crandell: I
kind of burned myself getting
here so just
give me a minute.
Scott Horns: You're a rock
star, you earned it, all right.
Darwin Holt: Took eight and a
half hours to get that out of
Todd Crandell:
Right, that's not bad,
for me that's not bad.
Darwin Holt:
Eight okay well.
Todd Crandell: You know
that's better than afterwards
saying, I knew
you could do it,
you know.
Darwin Holt: Well, I'm
going to tell you that after
anyways, so, right?
But, I don't want you
coasting the rest
of the race so don't
misunderstand me.
Scott Horns: Go on
before I start thinking about
Todd Crandell: Yeah I'm
trying to just conserve a
little bit.
Darwin Holt:
Hydrate, hydrate,
no, you're a
little bit of that,
but hydrate.
Scott Horns yellling:
Drink some water.
Todd Crandell:
Drink some water?
Scott Horns: For now yeah
and your [Indiscernible]
I keep yelling one thing.
Dave Barrett: Are
you in good spirits?
Scott Horns: Yeah definitely.
Helicopter sounds
Darwin Holt: Now this is the
difference between iron man
and ultra man
right now, day two,
this is the stretch, so he's
got to keep his head down and
he's got to go steady and
strong and he's got 60 miles
of riding like that before
he's going to really have a
break, so it's serious time
Male speaker: Go, go, go.
Dave Barrett: How are you
feeling right about now?
Todd Crandell: I'm tired man.
Dave Barrett: Yeah?
Todd Crandell: Yeah.
Dave Barrett:
Home stretch though.
Todd Crandell: Yeah.
Just I'll get there.
Dave Barrett:
Yeah man, you will,
you're superman.
Tony: When you were
10 years old did you ever
think you'd be doing this?
Todd Crandell: No when I
was 10 years old I didn't
think I was going to
see 12.
My dad never
thought I'd see 16.
Yeah this is
unbelievable man.
Think of that from the shit
you saw me doing before this,
come on, unbelievable.
Tony: Remember when
we used to hit the gym and
work out, I'll be like,
I'm going for a run later.
You'd be like, There's
no fucking way I'd run,
I hate to run.
Todd Crandell: Really?
Tony: Oh yeah, like I
won't run around the block.
You're running 52
miles tomorrow?
Todd Crandell: Yes
sir, with a purpose.
Hey this is good you guys
just hanging like this man.
Wind sounds...
and bike sounds...
Wind sounds...
and bike sounds...
Tony: Okay, you're looking good.
Todd: these fucking hills
Announcer: Let's give these guys a big
hand as they hit the home stretch...
of day two.
Announcer: Here comes Todd
Crandell from Pennsylvania...
Clapping. Here they are in 18th
and 19th positions...
Congratulations guys. Great Job.
Thank you everyone, we appreciate it...
Todd Crandell: Man...
Thank God.
Male Speaker: Good job buddy.
Todd: That's awesome.
Todd: Good job guys.
172! (Tony OS): sorry, wow,
that's incredible...
Scott: good Job.
Todd: It's crazy... thanks man.
Scott: you did awesome...
I got it in penguin mode.
Todd: I'll break that sucker...
Todd: Oh, Man. Am I losing some
Scott: You better be.
Todd: I'm still fat.
Getting ready to take an
Todd: Oh dude... oh yeah.
Nice ice bath and some food...
hopefully I can be asleep within
an hour again.
See this is... She's happy. You
know, she doesn't believe
me that I'm not gonna do it
again. It's... It's the same
parallel when I was telling
people... and they were right.
I mean I'd said for years I'm
gonna quit doing drugs, I'm
gonna quit doing drugs, yeah
right. Yeah, right. I finally
just stopped - I didn't tell
anybody - I didn't care.
I gotta quit saying I'm gonna
quit. Just, I'm done.
I don't need... that's part of
what this is about.
That whole... you know. Ying and
Yang. Or Good and Bad.
Running With Demons... but I've
answered mine. ya know?
I don't know. Just don't need to
do it.
Todd: A break. I just wanna hang
with my kids...
be a dad. And be normal.
Whatever that is for me, but...
Todd: right. Tomorrow will be
fun. Tomorrow's a good time.
We're together the whole day
we could talk and laugh be
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell: All of it. I'm a
horrible biker.
We have no hills like
that anywhere in my town;
not even close. It's dead flat.
We're on that...
and those things were brutal
man. That climb...
where I did where
you guys were filming that
thing I'm like man I
mean that was a killer.
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell: Well I didn't
think I could make it because
I thought that the last climb
out was going to be worse
than the climb getting there
and I just thought I don't
have enough time.
But that wasn't
the case thank God.
Because I'm just so happy
I can make it.
But it was good. What do you
guys think of it?
What do you guys
think watching that?
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell:
Right I wondered that.
I'm like these guys are just
going to think this is the
stupidest thing ever.
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell: It's in
the mind it really is.
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell: It's
a total mind screw;
Ya know. totally. And it for me.
I can't handle the negative side
of it anymore.
That overrides - that I know
that the good is coming it is
not I just
can't do it anymore.
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell: Just because
what you said it's insane and
nobody does it.
But see I did Ironman for
that reason then people
started doing Ironman.
So I said well then
I'll do the Ultra man.
And then I started saying,
Well I'll do two Ironman's
in a week and do an
Ultra man three weeks later
because hopefully that
I'll just like set myself way
apart. But then I get back
to this and it's like what
difference does it make no
one cares anyways so why do I?
I don't care. Ya know?
So that's it.
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell:
my wife.
She just said and why
is this time different?
She doesn't believe me.
Scott Reus speaking:
Todd Crandell: I'm just
telling her that you guys are
asking me because
we're talking about this.
And I don't blame her.
I'm just telling her
well talk about it later.
Scott Reus: Is she
at all excited or she just
thinks you're full of crap?
Todd Crandell: She just
doesn't believe me and I
understand it.
Let me see if
this is overflowing.
Holy shit, fuck
that's freaking cold man.
Shampoo, this, a
couple of phones.
There it is, okay
I'm getting in.
Oh my God dude.
Oh my God.
Dude... that's cold man.
Oh my God.
Aahhh... What time is it?
Scott Horns: 05:51.
Todd Crandell: 05:51?
At 06:01 let me know.
Scott Horns: Good.
Todd Crandell: I'm actually
taking a piss in here.
Cause I don't
want to get out.
This reminds me
when I was a kid.
Scott Horns speaking:
Todd Crandell: Yeah
dude this is cold man.
It's good for you.
Scott Reus: So after two days
of Ultra man and now you're
sitting in the ice bath.
What do you have to say to
all the people that think the
way that you do it is not
the right way;
the way that you constantly
or your method isn't the
right way?
Todd Crandell: You know
what that's a fight that I'll
never win.
Somebody just e-mailed
me - listen to this.
Somebody just sent me an
e-mail and said he's in rehab
and he was telling his
counselor that kick boxing
was helping him start to
withdraw get over his drug
And the lady said, You can't
do that it'll never work.
And I'm just like, Why would
a counselor tell
somebody that something that
is helping that guy doesn't
work? Well that's' like me
Well if you want to be sober
you've got to do the Ultra
man. I mean that's just
ludicrous and for me to tell
somebody, Oh what you're
doing is wrong. I can't
believe some people are
actually in a position of
helping people when they
say that kind of stuff.
The counseling is
what I love to do.
I mean I work my butt off
to get my Masters degree and
then to get license as a
professional counselor.
And now I just want
to utilize what I've worked
my tail off to get because
there's nothing better than
sitting down with somebody
who has a drug problem and me
being able to help them.
That's just as much of a high
as finishing one of these
crazy things you know
so this is freezing.
Scott Reus:
It's good for you.
Todd Crandell:
Yeah what time is it?
Scott Reus: It's - he asks
I don't know... is that from his
Tony speaking:
Todd Crandell:
Should I go longer?
Tony: The time is what?
Scott Reus: You have
four more minutes buddy.
Todd Crandell: He's lying
Scott Reus: That's four more
minutes of questions.
Todd Crandell:
you're lying Scott.
Scott Horns:
Todd Crandell: I could not
seriously - that dude saves
my butt.
There's no way I could do
this without him and Darwin
I'm finished.
Brutal... One more day. I
need to run 52 miles to finish
this thing.
That's it.
Tony: It's nothing compared
to what you've already done.
Todd Crandell: No I'd rather
run 52 miles and bike 172.
That was the... that's the day
I get worried about you know?
Tony: It's all
downhill from here.
Todd Crandell:
Tony: How's Mellissa doing?
You talked to her?
Todd Crandell: Yeah
she's good you know.
Tony: The kids?
Todd Crandell: Yeah
everybody's good.
I called my
grandma she's just like,
You got to quit. Tony:
How old is your grandma?
Todd Crandell: 95 you know.
Tony: What'd she say?
Todd Crandell: It's
funny I told her I go,
Grandma I rode 172
miles. And she was all
Honey. Just like
Wait no you can't do it,
I mean, she hates this stuff
because she's worried I might
fall over dead or
something you know.
A lot of people - the
people that really are my close
friends and stuff have been
telling me that I really need
to quit this for a long time.
It's the same
thing with drugs.
I keep saying that it's
the same thing but you don't
realize it yourself until you
are ready to make a change
yourself, it
doesn't matter.
But it's all those people
along the way they've been
telling you, You are not
doing something right. Then
you find they are like - Maybe
they got something there.
Tony: So it's a way you kind
of balance because it's been
something right because it's
helped you and Racing for
Recovery but at the same time
it's something wrong how does
that work?
Todd Crandell: Well
the volume is wrong.
And I hate the bike and I
don't really like swimming
so. I sure don't like swimming
6.2 miles...
Okay I know it's 6:01.
Where's Scott?
Tony: I'll
double check for you.
Todd Crandell: Yeah it's
got to be because my feet are
Let me see what
my phone says.
Oh dude yeah
it's 6:05- I'm done.
Tony: Yeah it's past 6:01.
Todd Crandell: Alright
I'm taking a shower man.
Nature sounds, birds chirping.
Speaker: Get
your cameras ready.
As you can see there's always
lot's of energy on day 3
Alright stand back a little
bit and give these guys a bit
of a path please if you could
just make a pathway there.
Todd Crandell: What
time is it six?
Tony: No.
Todd Crandell: Okay.
Todd Crandell: No I've been
stretching for two days dude.
Tony: Really?
Todd Crandell: Yeah, I mean
I'm not, it's alright I'm good.
Tony speaking:
Todd Crandell: No.
Speaker: Alright ladies and
gentlemen could we get the
runners to start.
Todd Crandell:
Alright boys good day.
Speaker: Underneath
the start banner please.
Pacers and all the crew and
Todd Crandell: Let's do it.
Speaker: Right at the
sound of the siren.
Three, two, one go.
Rock music kicks in...
Music continues.
Todd Crandell: Didn't I tell
you, no interviews
while I'm on vacation.
Tony: You seem to be in
pretty good spirits this
Todd Crandell: Oh dude this
is it you know I mean it
We've gone through the hard
stuff man you know what I
And he's helping me.
Scott I would have been
running this thing completely
different trying to run
the hill and you know.
This is going to be fun.
My... everything I am today
started from the tragedy of
my mom committing suicide.
And for that I'm
fortunate because I know what
I'm supposed to do in
life, I know I had that drug
addiction and survived it
to do what Im doing today
without question and that is
to help somebody else who is
going through it.
So if she's up there looking
down on me I'm sure she
realizes she made a mistake
and but I think she can
finally look down and say
something good is
coming out of that.
And that to me is all I want
to have continue out of this.
But without question this
whole thing with me - with my
mom committing suicide in a
way is benefiting a ton of
people and I'll take that
pain that I've gone through
and trade it for helping
the good of many people
potentially thousands.
That's worth it, yeah.
Granted do I wish I could
have a conversation with my
mom to validate
what I'm thinking?
Yeah that's not going to
happen but I'm going on faith
that says, This is how it's
supposed to be and just do
something good with it.
And I am doing something good
with it racing for
recovery is helping people.
This is what I'm supposed
to do so I owe a lot of it
to my mom
really for doing that.
And I... the thing that I am
at really with her is the
anger I have towards
her is just about gone.
I don't hate her anymore I
used to hate her and call her
a lot of horrific names.
I don't do that anymore.
I'm sorry that
she's not here,
it'd be cool to know her
but I don't have that hatred
anymore and that's
good because that was eating
me alive.
So now it's like Okay this
is what I've been dealt let
me make something good out
of it. It's an interesting
Music plays
It's an interesting question
I've never been asked this
before - who have I hurt and I
hurt a lot of people but I do
want to say this - that I've
cleaned all that up now.
So I guess I cleaned it up
years ago so I guess for me
at this point it's just to
reiterate and I do it every
year on my sobriety day.
I call my dad and
I say I'm sorry.
And it's even gotten to the
point where I call him on
that day and he says, I
know. And that's the end of
the conversation
until the next year.
The only regret that I have
is that this has taken a toll
on my marriage
and my family the way it has.
Everything else I don't
have any regrets for,
Because it has made
me who I am today.
Everything I've experienced
both with the negative drug
addiction and a positive
sober living has made me who
I am today and that's okay.
Because I know in my heart
that what I'm doing trying to
help other people and I'm
fine with that.
I mean basically I'm sorry to
everyone and everything that
I terrorized during those
addiction years and even in
my sobriety.
To my family, I mean in my
sobriety I apologize to my
family and my close friends
who have worried about me on
a physical level.
I regret that it's
harmed my wife the way it has
it wasn't my intent but I
regret that it has done to
her emotionally.
Nature sounds
You know you don't want to
bring me up to bring me down.
Todd: Mentally that's good.
Tony: What do
you got to look forward to?
Todd Crandell: A little
massage at the half way.
Think I might do it.
Tony: What else do you
got to look forward to?
Todd Crandell: Finishing and
then just relax and have a
nice dinner with you guys.
Just be like ah.
Tony: Is that a dog?
Todd: That's huge.
You know if you
think about it.
Dave Barrett: You guys have got
another running mate there too.
Tony: You got a
little buddy for you.
Todd Crandell: What oh hey
dude thought you were a bear
come here come on.
Darwin Holt: He's not sure
how fast he wants to go.
Todd Crandell: Come here man.
Where do I take him away?
My kids love animals like,
Dad why didn't you bring him
Todd VO: I've learned how
really how awesome life
is without using drugs.
I've learned that
not being drunk,
not being high on drugs gives
you the ability to be the
best that you can be on that
given day to deal with your
emotional traumas.
And that's all
that's important.
I'm not - I'm striving
for improvement every day,
emotionally, spiritually,
intellectually and
It's about striving.
For me I've learned to
balance many things to the
best of my ability.
I've learned not to let
things get out of hand and be
obsessive with.
I'm not saying I'm
perfect at that;
I fail at it miserably still.
But I recognize when I'm
wrong and I do my best to
make it right.
I've learned and I value
and I treasure friendships.
I don't
take them lightly.
I put a lot of
emphasis on them.
I have a - I got a lot of
caring for a lot of awesome
people in my life and I don't
want to do anything to screw
that up.
music plays...
Holt: This is great.
26 more miles to go, man.
Scott: Yeah, half way there.
Todd Crandell: Yeah man.
Darwin: Early in the day?
Scott Horns: Yeah. It's only 11
He's going to need a
little bit more of this.
Todd Crandell:
That feels good man.
I'll take a couple
of some more of that buddy,
Darwin: Right
now is the time when all that
training pays off,
all the recovery,
all the nutrition for the
last two days is this
is now.
This is when it pays off,
that's why you got the runner
with you so don't...
Todd Voice: Right.
Darwin Voice: Don't be
scared to us it. Right?
Todd Crandell: Yep.
Darwin: Okay.
Tony: What's the coaching
philosophy for this run?
Scott Horns: Well,
Darwin's experienced ultra,
yeah is a good
strategy set up.
Right approach to
this technique,
taking advantage of down
hills you kind of put a
little extra effort into it
or at least letting gravity
do the effort and just put in
a good effort for this third
of the run.
In the end you're tired but
still feeling good from here
on up you can
keep going strong,
you know if he's
a little tired we'll just
cruise in.
So this is a good time to put
his mind at ease and let him
know that he's got more than
enough time to finish and
finish well without
struggling too much.
Todd Crandell: That's why I
have these guys with me
because I would have gassed
myself a long time ago.
Rock music plays
Kay Doughty: I think that
what Todd is doing with
Racing Recovery is a very
healthy way for recovery.
There is no one route to
recovery what Todd has found,
with the triathlete at being a
triathlete and what he's
giving to the folks that come
to Racing for Recovery is a
path that will create natural
highs for the individuals,
the behavior that they can
use for themselves so that
they won't pick up
alcohol or other drugs.
And I applaud Todd for
what he is doing.
I think he has hit on
something which is successful
for some people, it's
not for everyone but it is
Music Plays
Marcia: Yeah.
He's been a really big
inspiration to me he's
really helped me so.
Tony: Yeah.
Can you talk a little
bit about that?
Marcia Reams:
See... I'm sorry.
I was in rehab because
I was doing a lot of
drugs and things and then he
my mom kind of brought him
She was like,
There is this guy,
he's really
cool, he's racing,
and I'd started to train for
a half marathon with my mom.
And she was like, He's going
to come out and talk to you
guys. And I was
like, Alright.
That's cool. You know like
because I was on the road to
sobriety so finding out
someone else was and we heard
about his story and
that was just a really big
But he...
Kathy: [Indiscernible]
Marcia: I'm emotional.
Tony: It's okay.
You're allowed to be.
Marcia: But he's just he's
really amazing like and see he
ran the half marathon with
us but he wasn't feeling too
well that day but he was
he's generally like I don't
know like... just the way he
would interact with us all
and be there for us.
I don't know...
he'd always tell me,
Never give up, and stuff
like that but when
things get hard I
think about Todd so...
Kathy: And I know he's had hard
times with everything and
he's been up and down with
Racing for Recovery and he's
really been an
inspiration so.
Tony: What are we
doing here Darwin,
philosophy wise?
Darwin Holt: We're
just staying steady.
Let's this - we're in to
the big part of the day
mentally, so what did
you say we have left?
Todd Crandell: 13
Darwin Holt: 13 miles so half
Todd Crandell: Anybody
can do a half marathon.
Darwin Holt: Anybody
can do a half marathon.
And Todd's strong.
He's right where we want him
to be that's why we started
off slow today.
And you're
feeling good, aren't you?
Todd Crandell: I feel great.
Darwin Holt: There you go.
Todd Crandell: I also have
some land in Florida I'd like
to talk to you about.
Darwin Holt: No.
Todd Crandell: It's you know
It is what it is.
Can you move it? Are you alright?
How much you
got left?
Todd Crandell:
Six and a half.
Tony: Six and a half miles.
Have you ever
not finished one?
Todd Crandell: of the
18 Ironmans,
we have the 28 halves, you
have what will be the two
Ultramans I've not finished;
one Ironman in Malaysia,
2003 it taught a big lesson,
I had to get my priorities
together but then again I
might have already done that
anyway so...
my arm really
hurts bad up here I'm like,
What can that be?
Tony:The tattoos're wearing off?
Todd Crandell:
It's like my bones ache.
Tony: What are you
going to tell Melissa when
you get home?
Todd Crandell: Thanks.
I'm sorry again.
Tony: What are you going to
tell her when you finish?
Todd Crandell:
Thanks and I'm sorry.
and I won't do it again.
She didn't believe
me; I don't blame her
Steve: You know a lot of you
have been waiting to find out
where the next gentleman is,
we're presently at
10 hours 51 minutes.
So reminder for this man went
in to day number three with a
total time of 21:42:56, he
has done 18 Ironmen in his
He has done one previous
Ultraman that was at the
World Championships.
He did over 42 hours and
three minutes
there; we're hoping that they
can get something around that
time today.
But we understand at this
point he's within two miles
of finishing the 2009
Ultraman Canada race.
Todd Crandell: People don't
get over suicides of their
parents or sexual molestation
or physical abuse and mental
You don't get over that.
You do the best that you
can on that given day to deal
with your stuff.
So how am I
handling that today?
In a variety of ways; A;
I'm not using drugs over it.
B; I totally recognize my
feelings behind this and I'm
improving on my actions
on how I handle that.
My anger is still there, it's
not as often as what it used
to be.
I'm utilizing my kids, my
work and exercising
as my way to cope with this
stuff but I will say this I'm
done with this, this whole
scene of talking about my mom
and sit in her gravesite and
all this stuff I'm done with
I don't need to be talking
about this anymore.
We have the man who's going
to be the next to finish.
The man who showed that
with sobriety anything is
He became sober April
15th 1993,
he has been racing for
recovery to help other people
with drug and
alcohol problems.
There he is coming up the
homestretch he has done the
world championships he
did that last year.
It's going to be 42 year old
Todd Crandell from Sylvania
Ohio and a tremendous job,
18 Ironman to his credit
including Ironman Canada
in the year 2000
he's racing away to the
32:03:33 finish...
He's married with four
children and they'll be very
proud of this effort as well.
10:31 on day one,
11:12 yesterday,
21:32:56 with 11:09 today
for Todd Crandell
Went from addict to... Todd
Crandell: The motivation I
Todd: The motivation I have
to stay sober is...
it's not motivation
it's how it is.
I will go out a sober man...
there will be no - Oh I used
again. This time I really
mean it I'm not going to do
it no.
I stopped using drugs
long time ago and I'm
never using again, period.
When I'm gone legacy is a
strong term because I haven't
done anything worthwhile
to be a legacy but I'll say
that, I just want to leave a
message behind that I tried
to do everything I could to
take what was given to me and
have it help
somebody else.
That's why I want it to say
on my tombstone it can say
Humble, grateful individual
who did everything I could
with what was given to me
to have it improve somebody
else's life. And then Long
live Motley Crue. On the end
of it.