Sandlot, The (1993) Movie Script

There is one all-time greatest
moment in the history of sports,
and it happened
in the 1932 World Series.
The story goes that in the bottom
of the ninth inning with two outs,
a full count
and the tying run on base,
Babe Ruth raised his arm and pointed
to the center field bleachers.
No one believed it,
because nobody had ever done it before.
But The Babe
was calling his shot.
On the next pitch, the Great Bambino
hit a towering 400-foot home run.
And even although he'd been
a hero before that,
that's pretty much
how he became a legend.
Thirty years later, a kid named
Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez...
became a neighborhood legend.
It was in the greatest summer
of my life...
when he taught me
to play baseball,
and he became my best friend.
And he got me out of the biggest
pickle I'd ever be in.
% % ['50s Rock]
[Kids Shouting]
- Go! Go! Go!
[Shouting Continues]
% % [Snapping Fingers]
Come over at 9:00.
All right.
See you later.
I moved to the neighborhood
two weeks before school let out.
It was the same summer
that Dodger Maury Wills would
break the stolen bases record.
It was the same summer
that Dodger Maury Wills would
break the stolen bases record.
So with something
that incredible going on,
it should've started off with loads
of great things happening for me,
but it didn't.
I was from another state,
and I didn't have a single
friend in a thousand miles.
It was a lousy way
to end up the fifth grade,
'cause I had zip time
to make friends before summer.
And that's about
where it all started.
My real dad died
when I was just a little kid.
My mom had married Bill about a year
before we moved to the Valley.
At the time, he and I were still
getting used to each other.
- [Knocking]
- Yeah.
- Um, Dad?
- Mm-hmm?
L-I mean Bill.
- Remember you... you promised
you'd teach me to play catch?
- Mm-hmm.
Um,
w-well,
could you teach me?
Yeah. Sure.
Okay.
- Okay?
- Thanks.
Sorry.
[Man Narrating] I'd followed them
to the sandlot once after school.
- I'd never seen anyplace like it.
- [Boys Shouting]
It was like their own little
baseball kingdom or something.
It was the greatest place
I'd ever seen anyway.
- Bertram.
- But they were good,
- real good.
- Come on, Bertram!
And all I had was a plastic toy mitt
that my grandmother gave me...
for my birthday when I was six.
But when I finally got up enough guts to
go out there and try and make friends,
I found out that they never kept score,
they never chose sides,
they never even really
stopped playing the game.
It just went on forever.
Every day they picked up where
they left off the day before.
- It was like an endless dream game.
- Come on! Come on!
There was only eight of them,
so they didn't have a whole team.
So even though I didn't know
how to play, I figured
I could be the ninth man...
and maybe just stand in the outfield
somewhere and take up space.
- Squints!
- Of course, if I'd have known what was
gonna happen when I got there,
- I got it!
- I probably never would've gone.
- Nice catch.
- Yeah.
- Come on!
- [Rustling]
[Dog Barking]
[Clattering, Banging]
[Growling]
Come on, Benny,
hit a homer!
- Come on!
- Hey, batter, batter, batter!
- Whoa!
- Watch out!
[Boys Shouting]
- [Screams]
- [All Laughing]
Okay, I'll get it!
Get it.
Don't be a goofus. Don't be a goofus!
Don't be a goofus!
[Rumbling Sound, Dog Growling]
- Throw the ball back! Come on!
- Yeah, hurry up!
[Barking]
We are waiting!
Come on! Throw it!
[Boys Shouting]
[Shouting Continues]
- Come on, toss me the ball!
- Come on!
Come on!
[Boys Laughing]
- Oh, my God!
- [Laughing Continues]
My life's over.
Did you see that hand?
[Boys Chattering, Laughing]
[Man Narrating]
If it wasn't for Benny,
I never would've made
a single friend that summer,
'cause all the rest of those
guys thought I was a lost cause.
- Even before we became friends,
- [Mechanical Whirring]
Benny and me were connected, connected
for the one moment later that summer...
when I'd get us all
into the biggest pickle...
any of us had ever seen.
[Knocking]
Night, hon.
[Grunts]
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.
It was an accident.
Scotty, have you made
any friends yet?
- No.
- Why not, honey?
'Cause I'm still new.
I don't want you sitting around in here
all summer fiddling with this stuff...
like you did last summer
and the one before.
I know you're smart,
and I'm proud of you.
I want you to get out into the fresh air
and make some friends.
Run around,
scrape your knees, get dirty.
Climb trees, hop fences.
Get into trouble,
for crying out loud.
Not too much, but some.
You have my permission.
How many mothers do you know who
say something like that to their sons?
[Chuckles]
Well, none mothers, I guess.
Honey, I want you to make
some friends this summer. Lots of them.
Yeah, I know.
But I'm not good
at anything, Mom.
Face it,
I'm just an egghead.
Honey, you'll always be just an egghead
with an attitude like that.
[TV: : Indistinct]
[Whispering]
Well?
Well?
- He's too busy, Mom.
- Oh, no, honey, he's not.
He has some time.
You go on back out there
and ask him.
[TV Continues]
- Uh, Bill, uh...
- Yeah?
I mean, Dad, uh, can we...
I mean, could you, like you said,
teach me to play catch?
Yeah. Sure.
But I gotta get
this done, okay?
- Okay, thanks.
- All right.
- Bill?
- Yeah?
Uh, couldn't you take a break
and teach him now?
- Mom, it's okay, really.
- Honey,
I said I would, and I will,
but I'm under the gun here.
How long could it take?
Can't you spare half an hour
and show him now?
- Mom, really, it's okay.
- All right.
Okay. I'll get my glove.
See? I told you.
Oh, great.
All right, Scotty, get down
to that end of the yard.
Okay.
Now, the key to this game
is keeping your eye on the ball.
No matter whether you're in the field
or at bat, eye on the ball, okay?
All right. Uh, yeah.
I think so.
Where the ball goes,
your glove should go. Got it?
Okay.
Okay. All right.
[Grunts]
Darn. Sorry.
It's all right.
All right.
Um... Uh, here.
Okay.
Okay, I'm ready.
Eye on the ball, okay?
Got it?
Okay.
If the ball moves,
move your glove. Got it?
Yeah.
All right. Here we go.
Okay. You just need a bigger glove.
Throw it back to me this time.
Throw it back.
Okay. Scotty,
keep your eye on the ball.
Okay. Got it.
Okay.
Ow! Oh, my eye!
Ow! Ow! Oh!
Ow! Ow!
- What happened?
- [Groans] My eye.
- Honey, get some ice. Ice.
- No, I got it.
- Here you go.
- Those were for dinner.
- Oh!
- Just hold it up there.
Nice and hard.
Press it against... Yeah.
- I just took my eye off the ball, Mom.
- Yeah, but you caught it.
- [Groaning]
- Just keep that on for, like, an hour.
It'll still be black,
but it won't swell.
Sorry.
Gotta watch out
for that curve.
[Crying]
Hey.
I'm gonna play some ball.
We need an extra guy. You wanna go?
- No. Thanks.
- Why not? Don't you like baseball?
- Oh, yeah, but...
- But what?
But my glove...
it's busted.
Uh, see? Now I can't go.
Thanks, though.
It's okay.
I got an extra one.
Come on. Let's go.
Mom, I'm gonna go
play some ball!
I'll be back
in a little while.
Come on. Let's go.
- And I'm Babe Ruth.
- [Boys Chattering]
Listen. Ready?
Check this out.
[Muffled]
I'm the Great Bambino.
[Boys]
What?
- I'm the Great Bambino.
- [All] What?
I'm the Great Bambino.
[All]
Oh!
Who's that?
What?
[Scotty Narrating] I had no idea
who they were talking about.
- What did he say?
- What, were you born in a barn, man?
Yeah, what planet
are you from?
[Scotty Narrating] But there was
no way I could let them know.
You never heard
of the Sultan of Swat?
The Titan of Terror?
- The Colossus of Clout?
- The Colossus of Clout!
- The King of Crash, man.
- [Scotty Narrating] So I lied.
Oh, yeah, the Great Bambino.
Of course.
I thought you said,
"the Great Bambi."
That wimpy deer?
Yeah. I guess. Sorry.
Anyway, Scott, that's
Timmy and Tommy Timmons,
Mike "Squints"Palledorous,
Alan McClellan...
we call him Yeah-Yeah...
Bertram Grover Weeks,
Kenny DeNunez
and Hamilton Porter.
We call him Ham.
Guys, this is Scott Smalls.
Hi.
Yeah, um, well, he's gonna play with us
'cause he makes nine.
Now we've got a whole team. We're
wasting time. Let's go to the sandlot.
- Benny, it's 9:00 in the morning.
- It's 9:00.
- Why'd you bring him, Benny?
- 'Cause there's eight of us,
and he makes nine.
- Why'd you bring him, Benny?
- 'Cause there's eight of us,
and he makes nine.
Yeah, yeah, so would my sister,
but I didn't bring her.
With nine guys we've got
a whole team, Yeah-Yeah.
No. With Elswenger
we had a whole team.
- Elswenger could catch.
- And throw.
Come on, Benny, man.
He ain't game.
- You saw the way he threw.
- Yeah.
You already fill up all
the empty positions since
Elswenger moved to Arizona.
Right. And now I get to rotate
eight positions instead of seven.
- I need the practice, guys.
- You're the best on the team.
You don't need any practice.
- No, you don't.
- You're the best, man.
Come on, Benny, man.
The kid is...
a L-7 weenie.
Yeah, yeah.
Oscar Mayer even. Foot-long!
- Dodger dog! A weenie!
- [Boys Laughing]
What are you laughing at, Yeah-Yeah?
You run like a duck.
Okay, okay, but I'm... I'm...
- Part of the game, right?
- Mmm, yeah.
Now, how come
he don't get to be?
- 'Cause he's a geek, man.
- He can't catch.
Man, base up,
you blockheads.
Smalls, you take
left center, okay?
Okay. Um, where
exactly is that?
It's over there, man.
Here?
That's left.
I said left center.
Okay. Right.
Here?
Come on, Benny, man.
He's never gonna catch the ball anyway.
Let's just play.
- What a jerk.
- Yeah-Yeah, get two.
Come on!
Throw it in here, Bertram!
- Nice.
- Wow!
Good job!
- Hey, Smalls, throw it to second.
- Okay.
[Gasps]
- Come on, Benny.
He's never gonna catch it.
- He's not gonna catch it.
[Grunting]
Oh! I told you, Benny.
We told you.
[Dog Growling]
Come on, Benny.
Why'd you do that?
A square, Benny.
The kid's a square.
[Growling Continues]
Come on. Throw it in.
What the hell's he doing?
I don't believe this.
Here. Sorry. Sorry.
You can throw it, you know.
No.
I can't.
I don't know how.
Thanks for taking me here,
but I think I'd better go.
Hey, hey.
You think too much.
I bet you get straight A's
and shit, huh?
No, I got a "B" once.
Actually an A-minus.
But it should've been a "B."
Man, this is baseball.
You gotta stop thinking.
You just have fun.
I mean, if you were having fun,
you would've caught that ball.
You ever have
a paper route?
I helped a guy once.
Okay. Well, chuck it like
you would throw a paper.
When your arm gets here,
just let go.
Just let go.
It's that easy.
How do I catch it?
Just stand there and stick your glove
out in the air.
I'll take care of it.
About time, Benny.
My clothes are going out of style.
- They already are, Squints.
- Shut up!
I told you, Benny.
Smalls, throw it to second.
Okay.
[Groans]
- Not again.
- [Spits]
We're wasting time, Benny.
Please catch it.
Please catch it.
Please catch it.
Please catch it.
Yeah!
- All right!
- He's all right.
I told you so, man.
Okay.
- Let's play some ball.
- Yeah, let's play some ball.
All right.
I knew it... all the time.
Yeah!
[Dog Growling]
[Fence Rattling]
[Gasps]
I'll show you some more
tomorrow, okay?
- Okay. Bye.
- You did good.
See you later, Ham.
- 8:00, Benny?
- Yeah. See you later, Smalls.
Bye. See you tomorrow.
Benny, wait!
- Your glove.
- Keep it, man.
Thanks!
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Smalls.
Um, bring a T-shirt
and jeans tomorrow, okay?
- Oh, um, you got a fireplace?
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, why?
Throw that hat
in there, man.
Oh, yeah. You know,
it was the only one I had.
Not anymore.
Wear my old hat.
Thanks, Benny.
Great. 8:00.
Mom, guess what?
- Hamilton "The Babe" Porter.
- [Chuckles]
"Long-ball" Porter.
Come on, DeNunez.
[All Laughing, Taunting]
Yeah, okay.
Yes, I see it. Yes.
[Boys Shouting]
- Whoa!
- [Boys Laughing]
You call that pitching?
This is baseball,
not tennis.
- Give him a tennis racket.
- Give me something to hit.
All right, Ham.
This is my heater.
- I dare you to hit it.
- You'll be sorry.
- Give that boy a bigger bat.
- You want the heater,
I'll give it to you.
Give him a basketball.
Maybe then he'll hit it.
- [Clattering]
- Oh, man!
Yeah!
That's how you do it.
Ham, you idiot.
Now we can't play no more.
Great, you idiot!
Hit me with the heater.
Stupid idiot!
Low and outside.
Just like I like it.
I'm gonna hit you!
- Wait a sec. I'll get it.
- [Ham] 1932 called shot
World Series by The Babe.
Called shot by the Babe.
No!
[All]
No!
[Boys Shouting]
- Smalls, come back!
- Hey guys, I'll get it!
- Smalls!
- Smalls!
- What are you doing?
- Smalls, wait!
- Guys, what are you...
- [All] Smalls!
Get off!
Guys, I gotta get the ball!
- No, wait!
- Get off of me! Now!
- You're gonna get yourself killed!
- Killed, man, jeez!
Stop!
Holy crap,
you could've been killed.
Yeah, yeah, truly.
What are you doing?
You guys were leaving,
so I just thought I'd hop the fence...
- If you were thinking, you
wouldn't have thought that.
- You can't go back there.
- Then how do we get the ball back?
- We don't.
- We don't.
- It's history.
- It's history. Kiss it...
- Kiss it good-bye. Shut up, Tommy.
It's gone, man. Gone.
Game's over, man.
We'll just get another ball tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- We'll never see it again.
Why not?
[All]
The Beast.
What is that?
Smalls, listen to me.
Go to that fence... real slow,
and be quiet.
- But... l-I think...
- No, no, no. No, no.
- Just go and peek through that hole.
- But l...
- But I saw something. What's back there?
- It's okay. Just go.
- Just go.
- Go, Smalls.
Come on, Smalls.
[All]
Shh!
[Boys Whispering]
Shh!
- Shh!
- Be quiet.
- [Growling]
- [Gasps]
Something got the ball.
W-What was that thing?
[All]
Camp out.
[Scotty]
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
- My mom made me put on my jacket,
- Shut up!
- And then she made me do the dishes.
- [Boys Laughing]
Your poor little mommy
made you do the big bad dishes.
- Hey, you want a s'more?
- Some more what?
- No, no, you want a s'more?
- [Boys Chattering]
I haven't had anything yet,
so how can I have some more of nothing?
- Shut up!
- You're killing me, Smalls.
- All right. Who cut one?
- These are s'mores stuff.
- Okay, pay attention.
- Bertram!
First you take the graham.
You stick the chocolate
on the graham.
- Then you roast the 'mallow.
- No, it's my sleeping bag.
When the 'mallow's flaming,
Yes, it is yours.
It has a yellow stain on it.
You stick it
on the chocolate.
- You're gonna set the place on fire.
- Then...
- you cover it with the other end.
- Make me one of those.
Yeah, me too.
- Then you stuff.
- I don't like that chocolate stuff.
Kind of messy, but good.
Try some.
Okay. Quiet, you guys.
- [Chattering]
- Shh! Shh!
Quiet! Are you trying
to wake it up?
It just went to bed.
- What just went to bed?
- [Boys] Shh!
The Beast.
- Oh, yeah!
- Shh!
- Jeez.
- Dang.
Shh.
Now quiet.
The legend of The Beast
goes back a long time...
before any of us
could even pick up a baseball.
Back to a place
called Mertle's Acres.
It all started about, mmm,
20 years ago,
when thieves kept stealing junk
from Mertle's Acres junkyard.
So Mr. Mertle, the guy
that used to own the place,
got him this new pup
from the dog pound.
He fed him whole sides of beef...
and turned the pup loose
in the junkyard.
And the pup was grateful.
[Thunderous Footsteps]
And so, in a few weeks,
the pup grew into The Beast.
And he grew big,
and he grew mean...
so that he could protect the junkyard
with only one thing on his mind: :
To kill everyone
that broke in.
- And he did, and he liked it a lot!
- [Men Screaming]
The Beast was the most perfect
junkyard dog that ever lived.
A true killing machine.
But after a while, the cops started
getting phone calls from people...
reporting all the missing thieves,
the ones The Beast had killed.
It added up to about 120...
173 guys.
- It's true.
- [Growling]
They never found a single body.
Not one. Some people say
they all got away.
But we all know
what really happened.
The Beast ate them.
He ate them bone and all.
The Beast was too good
at his guard dog job,
so the police said
he had to be retired.
My grandpa, Squidman Palledorous,
was police chief back then.
He ordered Mr. Mertle to turn
his backyard into a fortress...
and chain up The Beast
and put him under the house...
where he could never get out
to eat children and stuff.
- That's where he's been for 20 years.
- [Growling]
And that's where he'll be
for the rest of his life.
Because Mr. Mertle
asked the cops how long...
he had to keep The Beast
chained up like a slave,
they said until forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever.
[Echoing]
And so, The Beast sits there
under that lean-to,
dreaming of the time when he can
break the chain and get out,
dreaming of the time
he can chase and kill again.
See, man? That's why
you can't go over there.
Nobody ever has.
Nobody ever will.
One kid did, but nobody
ever seen him again.
- That ain't true.
- Yeah, it is.
He got eaten.
Nuh-uh.
No. None of that's true.
You guys are just making this up
to scare me.
Oh, yeah?
Stick your head
out that window...
and look down.
[Scotty Narrating] That night I
learned that more than 150 baseballs...
had gone over that fence and not one
of them was ever seen again,
- even when some brave kid...
- [The Beast Growling]
Worked up enough courage
to peek over.
Because when they went over,
they vanished.
I knew it was true.
- Because when I looked down in there,
- [Growling Continues]
I didn't see a single solitary one.
- [Chain Rattling]
- [Screaming]
- He's down there.
- You bet he is.
Whatever goes over that fence...
stays there.
It becomes the property
of The Beast...
forever.
- Come on, give it to me.
- No, I wanna carry it.
- Come on. I paid for it.
- I wanna carry it.
- Oh. Whoa!
- Give it to me.
- Jeez Louise.
- What's the matter?
- Jeez.
Wendy Peffercorn. Mmm.
- Whoa!
- Wow!
- Come on, let's go. We gotta get...
- No!
- We gotta get to the sandlot. Let's go.
- [Chattering]
- Come on. Let's go.
- Okay.
[Panting]
I'm sweating like a pig.
Let's go! Come on!
Where you guys been?
We've been waiting here forever already.
Aw, Squints was pervin' a dish.
- Shut up. I wasn't.
- Yeah, yeah, you were.
Your tongue was hangin' out of
your head, and you was swoonin'.
Oh, Wendy Peffercorn,
my darling lover girl. [Chuckles]
I said shut up!
I've got a lot of things
on my mind.
This pop isn't working, Benny.
I'm baking like a toasted cheeser!
It's so hot here!
It's 150 degrees out there.
You can't play baseball.
- You have to call it for the day.
- You gotta listen to him, Benny.
Vote then.
Anybody who wants to be...
a "can't hack it" pantywaist...
who wears their mama's bra,
raise your hand.
- Yeah, I can handle that.
- [Chattering In Agreement]
Fine, fine, fine!
Be like that.
So what are we gonna do?
[Laughing]
Scam pool honeys!
[Scotty Narrating] Benny would've
played ball all day, all night, rain,
shine, tidal wave, whatever.
Baseball was the only thing
he cared about.
But of all the things
we ever did besides baseball,
going to the pool
was what he tolerated best.
Even though none of us had
ever seen a Playboy magazine,
- which we constantly lied about,
- Hi.
We figured going to the pool was
the next best thing to being there.
I remember you.
Oh, sexy.
Hey, girls.
Cannonball!
[Women Screaming]
[Scotty Narrating] It wasn't really
the pool honeys like we said,
because if any one of them
had come up to any one of us,
we'd have just peed our pants.
We all went because...
well, because Wendy Peffercorn
was the lifeguard.
- Aw, man.
- Yeah, yeah. Too cool.
[Timmy]
She don't know what she's doing.
[Tommy]
She don't know what she's doing.
[Benny]
Yeah, she does.
She knows exactly
what she's doing.
I've swum here every summer
of my adult life.
And every summer,
there she is,
lotioning, oiling,
oiling, lotioning.
- One day it became too much...
- Smiling.
- For Michael "Squints"Palledorous.
- Smiling!
I can't take this no more!
- Move!
- And he did the most desperate thing...
- Lotioning, oiling.
- Any of us...
- had ever seen.
- Lotioning,
oiling.
[Chuckles]
- What's wrong with him?
- What's he doing?
Three summers of this.
I think he finally snapped.
I don't know. But that's the deep end,
and Squints can't swim.
[Shuddering]
[Giggles]
[All Shouting]
[Shouting Continues]
- Somebody help him!
- Squints!
Somebody help him!
Come on!
[Shouting Continues]
Move back. Move back.
- Okay, I got him. I got him.
- Come on up, Wendy.
Everybody move back.
Move back. Roll him over.
Never mind! Never mind!
- Come on, Squints.
- [Exhaling Forcefully]
- Come on, Squints.
- Come on!
- Squints!
- [Exhaling Forcefully]
- Come on, Squints. Squints.
- Come on, Squints. Come on.
- Wake up.
- Come on, breathe, would you?
Come on, Squints!
You can do it! Pull through, bud!
- Come on, man! Come on!
- Yeah, yeah. He looks pretty crappy.
Squints! Come on, man.
Oh, God, he looks
like a dead fish.
[Boys]
What?
- [Muffled Grunt]
- [Screams] Little pervert!
- Oh, man, he's in deep shit.
- And stay out!
Oh, hey, here's your glasses.
Did you plan that?
Of course I did.
I been planning it for years.
You guys, he planned that!
He knew what he was doing!
Michael "Squints"Palledorous
walked a little taller that day.
We had to tip our hats to him.
He was lucky she hadn't
beat the crap out of him.
We wouldn't have blamed her.
What he'd done was sneaky,
rotten and low... and cool.
Not another one among us
would've ever in a million years...
even for a million dollars had the guts
to put the move on the lifeguard.
He did.
He had kissed a woman,
and he had kissed her long
and good.
We got banned from the pool
forever that day.
But every time we walked by
after that,
the lifeguard looked down
from her tower,
- right over at Squints...
- and smiled.
[Boys Laughing, Chattering]
- [Knocking]
- Get your glove and come on.
- What's the big deal?
- Night game. Come on. Come on.
- Mom, I'm going out!
- [Fireworks Whistling]
[Scotty Narrating]
There was only one night game a year.
- Guys, wait up!
- On the 4th of July...
the whole sky would brighten up
with fireworks,
giving us just enough light
for a game.
We played our best then
because, I guess, we all felt
like the big leaguers...
under the lights
of some great stadium.
Benny felt like that
all the time.
We all knew he was gonna go on
to bigger and better games,
because every time we stopped
to watch the sky on those nights
like regular kids,
he was there to call us back.
You see, for us,
baseball was a game.
But for
Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez,
baseball was life.
- [Boys Shouting]
- Okay, hit it!
- Yeah, yeah, come on, Benny.
- [Fireworks Whistling, Crackling]
- Man!
[Boys Shouting]
[Boys Shouting]
- Come on! Hurry up!
- First!
Run!
Back off!
Yeah, yeah!
- Throw it in! Throw it in!
- Get him! Get him!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
- Come on! Hurry up!
- Go, Benny!
- [Groaning]
- Oh, damn!
Oh, no!
It's easy when you play with a bunch
of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
- Shut your mouth, Phillips.
- What'd you say, crap face?
I said you shouldn't even
be allowed to touch a baseball.
Except for Rodriguez,
you're all an insult to the game.
Come on! We'll take you on
right here, right now!
- Come on!
- [All Shouting In Agreement]
We play on a real diamond, Porter.
You ain't good enough to lick
the dirt off our cleats.
- Watch it, jerk.
- Shut up, idiot!
- Moron!
- Scab eater!
- Butt sniffer!
- Pus licker!
- Fart smeller!
- [Sniffing] Ah!
You eat dog crap
for breakfast, geek.
You mix your Wheaties
with your mama's toe jam!
[All]
Yeah!
You bob for apples in the toilet
and you like it.
- Ooh.
- You play ball like a girl!
[Laughing]
- What did you say?
- You heard me.
Tomorrow.
Noon. At our field.
Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Count on it,
pee-drinking crap face!
[All]
Yeah!
Let's go!
[Chattering]
We're gonna kick
their butts tomorrow.
Yeah!
- Good job.
- Jerks.
Play ball!
Hurry up, batter.
It's gonna be a short game,
and I gotta get home for lunch.
[Snickers]
That's one.
You know, if I had a dog
as ugly as you,
I'd shave his butt
and tell him to walk backwards.
The heater.
Here it comes.
I dare you.
Strike three.
You're out.
Hey, is that your sister
out there in left field, naked?
- She's naked.
- Shut up, Porter!
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm just trying to have
a little friendly conversation.
Come on. You think
she'd go out with me?
Come on.
Show me your stuff.
- Let's see what you got.
- Hey, batter, batter, batter!
- Take him out!
- [Boys Shouting]
- Come on!
- Bring it in!
- Oh! Beat ya.
- [Shouting Continues]
Throw it to third!
[Scotty Narrating]
We were all walking on air that night.
It had been a solid victory.
In fact, we beat the crap
out of those guys.
So we all went to celebrate.
And we did
the stupidest thing...
any of us had ever done.
- Hey, guys, it's all on me tonight.
- [All Shouting]
Thanks, Benny!
Nine tickets, please.
- Hey, Benny.
- Thanks.
- Hey, Benny.
- Benny.
- Come on, you guys!
- What about me? Thanks.
Aw, crap!
I almost forgot!
- What?
- What?
Chaw! I was saving it
for a good time.
- What is it?
- Big Chief.
[Sniffing]
The best!
Jeez, Smalls. I suppose you don't
even know who The Babe is either.
It's plug. Wad.
Chewing tobacco.
- 'Baccy, man.
- What do you do with it?
You're killing me, Smalls.
- Chew it, of course. Yes.
- You do?
Yeah, sure, man.
All the pros do it.
Yeah, yeah.
Gives you tons of energy.
- Let's dip. Let's dip.
- You got it, guys.
Come on. I want some.
- Mm. Mm.
- Mm.
- The best.
- Let's ride!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
% % ['50s Rock]
Mm!
% % [Continues]
- Yeah-hah!
- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Squints, this is the best!
Wow! Yeah! Whoo!
All right!
Yeah!
[Moaning]
Blech!
[Moaning Continues]
[Moans]
- [Vomiting]
- [Vomiting]
- [Vomiting]
- [Women Screaming]
[Screaming]
- [Belching]
[Belches]
Oh, that feels better.
I'll be back in an hour.
I'm gonna take your dad to the airport.
Oh, okay.
Honey, are you feeling all right?
You look kind of pale.
- I'm fine, Mom.
- You sure?
- I'm fine, really.
- All right.
Listen, Scott.
While I'm gone, you're the man
of the house. Understand?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Where are you going?
- Chicago.
On business for a week.
- We'll take another stab at catch
when I get back, all right?
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Take care of things for me.
- Okay.
- All right?
- I will.
Okay. Be a good boy.
- I will.
- Okay.
[Scotty Narrating] A couple days after
we all got over acting like big shots,
we swore off the hard stuff forever
and just stuck to Bazooka.
But the day we all got back
together for some baseball...
was the day I got us into
the biggest pickle of all time,
and it all started with an omen.
Oh, man.
I don't believe it.
- Bitchin'.
- [Benny] Nah, it ain't.
Come on. Maybe two or three
guys in history...
ever busted the guts out of a ball.
- Must be an omen.
- All's it means is that
we can't play no more.
It's only 12:00, and I just ruined
the whole day for us.
No, you didn't. That's the most
amazing thing I ever saw.
- Yeah.
- [Benny] Anybody got any money?
- [All] No.
- Then it ain't okay, 'cause
now we can't play no more.
Yeah, we can.
What, you got 98 extra cents
lying around, Smalls?
- No, but I got a ball.
- [All] Go get it!
I got it, guys! I got it!
I got the ball, guys!
I got it. Right here, guys.
I got the ball. I got it.
- Here, Benny. I got it.
- Bitchin'. Your ball, your ups.
- Here you go.
- Okay.
All right. Come on.
Kenny, here.
Come on. Yeah, come on!
Batter up!
[Sighs]
Your fly's open.
[Snickers]
There's one.
One, two, three.
Three strikes, three pitches.
[All]
Hey, batter, batter, batter!
- Come on, Smalls!
- Hey, batter, batter, batter!
Oh, my. Oh, man.
- Run!
- Yes!
Way to go, school meat!
I taught him everything.
[All Shouting]
Oh, man, that was great.
That went clear over.
Hey, uh, Smalls,
third base is that way.
Hey, Smalls. Smalls.
- Go to third.
- Oh, no. Oh, no.
Yeah! Nice hit, Smalls.
Nice hit. Yeah!
- Oh, no.
- It's outta here!
Who's got the big bat now?
- [All] Smalls! Smalls! Smalls!
- Smalls?
You forgot to turn.
You go to third base!
Smalls...
What the hell's he doing?
Maybe the shock of his first homer
was just too much for him.
Yeah.
- [Chattering]
- Smalls.
Smalls? Smalls.
[The Beast Growling]
- We got to get that ball back.
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Good one, Smalls.
- [Laughing] Yeah, good one, Smalls.
Hey, forget about it, man.
Let's get another ball.
No, you don't understand!
Sure, we do. You feel bad
'cause you belted a homer.
Now we can't play no more.
No, you don't understand!
That wasn't my ball!
What do you mean,
that wasn't your ball?
It was my stepdad's.
I stole it from his trophy room.
It was a present or something.
Somebody gave it to him.
We gotta get it back.
He's gonna kill me!
Ohh.
Listen to me, Smalls.
It's a matter of life and death.
Where did your old man
get that ball?
What? I don't know.
Some lady gave it to him.
- Why?
- What? Some lady?
Yeah. She even signed her name on it.
Some lady named...
Ruth, Baby Ruth.
[All Shouting]
Babe Ruth?
[Shouting Continues]
[The Beast Growling]
No!
[All Shouting]
The Beast got it.
- You're dead as a doornail, Smalls.
- You're dead as a doornail.
Smalls, you mean to tell me that you
went home and swiped a ball...
that was signed by Babe Ruth,
- and you brought it here
and actually played with it?
- Actually played with it?
- Yeah, but I was gonna bring it back.
- But it was signed by Babe Ruth.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You keep telling me that. Who is she?
What?
What?
- The Sultan of Swat.
- The King of Crash.
- The Colossus of Clout.
- The Colossus of Clout.
[Together]
Babe Ruth!
The Great Bambino!
Oh, my God!
You mean that's the same guy?
[All]
Yes!
Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest
baseball player that ever lived.
People say he was less than a god
but more than a man.
You know, like Hercules
or something.
That ball you just aced
to The Beast is worth,
well, more than your whole life.
[Groans]
I don't feel so good.
- Uh-oh, fan him.
- Give him air, give him air.
We have to get that ball back.
- When does your old man
get home from work?
- He's gone on business.
Out of town.
But he could be back anytime.
All right.
Find out when.
And, guys, spread out and look
for bottles and cash 'em in.
We need 98 cents.
We gotta buy us a ball.
- Yeah!
- [Chattering]
- Come on. Let's go!
- Go, go, go, go! Move, move!
Come on. Open it up!
Hurry up, hurry up!
- Give me the ball.
- Give me something to write with.
- I got a pencil.
- Give me a pen, not a pencil!
- Sorry.
- I got a pen.
Babe...
- Baby Ruthie?
- It says, "Babe Ruth."
- I don't know, Benny, man.
- Yeah, boy, that looks pretty crappy.
It doesn't matter
what it looks like.
His mom's never gonna know
the difference.
- This'll just buy us
some time, you dorks.
- Okay, come on.
- Scotty?
- [Gasps] Uh, in here, Mom.
Oh, hi, honey.
What are you doing in here?
Uh, just looking at Bill's...
I mean, uh, Dad's baseball.
You know he doesn't like
you to touch his things.
Yeah. L... I know. Sorry, Mom.
Has he ever told you about that ball?
Uh, no. Uh, not really.
L... I don't think so.
No, no, no, he hasn't at all.
I don't... I don't know
anything about it.
Babe Ruth signed that ball.
He was...
the greatest baseball player
who ever lived.
- Oh. Really? [Chuckles]
- He sure is.
Your dad's father gave it to him.
Maybe someday he'll give it to you.
Oh.
Neat.
[Chuckles]
[Scotty Narrating]
It was salt in an open wound.
Even my own mom, a grown-up girl,
knew who Babe Ruth was.
I was dead meat.
We had thought that that ball Benny
had busted the guts out of...
meant something amazing
was gonna happen.
Now I just figured
it meant my life was over.
Hey, I got it!
Why don't we just go over...
and knock on the door and ask
Mr. Mertle if he can get it for us?
Are you out of your mind? Mr. Mertle's
the meanest old man that ever lived.
He's the one who made
The Beast eat that kid.
It's not an option, Smalls.
Forget about it!
Oh, okay. Sorry.
L... I will.
Let's just look out the window.
Good idea.
[The Beast Growling]
[Snarls]
- He's daring us.
- We're on his territory now.
Anybody got any bright ideas?
[Scotty Narrating] After we'd
all thought about it real hard,
we had absolutely no idea
what the hell we were gonna do.
So things started primitively.
Go.
- Farther.
- Farther, okay.
- Just a little bit farther.
- Farther. Farther.
- Aah!
- [All Yelling]
Oh, no! Aah!
Farther.
[Creaking]
Go to the right a little bit.
Put the back to the right.
[Creaking]
A little bit farther.
- Farther?
- Guys, I see it. Turn, turn.
Almost.
You got it. Pull it back.
- I got it!
- Got it, guys.
- [Snarls]
- Oh, my God!
Pull it back! Aah!
[All Screaming]
[Snarls]
[Growling]
I think we've seriously
underestimated The Beast.
Obviously, we're dealing
with a superior intelligence.
- Power.
- Okay, guys, almost ready.
We're connecting power now.
Power connected.
Okay, we're ready.
Initiate retrieval suction.
Initiate retrieval suction.
Initiate retrieval suction.
- Prepare to initiate
retrieval suction number one.
- Okay. Get ready, guys.
Initiate retrieval suction
number one.
Initiating retrieval suction
number one now!
[Whirring]
- Fire number two.
- Initiate number two.
Firing two now!
[Grunting]
- Fire number three.
- Number three now!
Whoa!
Ha! You got it.
Haul it up.
All right!
- Pull it up.
- [Snarls]
[All Screaming]
- What's going on, Squints?
- The pipe... it's pinched shut.
- Turn it off, man!
- I can't! They're shorting out!
- What the hell is that noise?
- [Whirring Continues]
The vacs are clogged. I don't know
about you, but I'm getting outta here.
Let's go!
Oh, no! Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
They're gonna blow! Aah!
[All Yelling]
Aah!
Incoming!
[Sighs]
We've been going about this all wrong.
I blame myself.
[Sighs]
We need total surprise.
An airborne attack.
The Beast will never expect it.
Yeah.
[Sighs]
[Snarls]
- It's clear.
- Take me up.
[Growling, Barks]
[Grunts]
Let me down slow.
- A little slower.
- Go slow.
Go.
Yeah, let me down.
Almost there.
- He's almost there.
- [Growling]
Let me down right over it.
Let him down right over it.
[Panting]
[Growling]
[Snarls]
Okay, I got it.
Get me outta here.
Pull him up.
[Growling]
L... l... l...
[Stammering]
- Hey, pull him up!
- Aah! Aah!
- [Growling]
- Aah!
[All Shouting]
- Aah!
- [Growling]
- [All Shouting]
- Aah!
[All Yelling]
[Scotty Narrating]
It was my last chance.
So we quit messing around
and pulled out all the stops.
I collected every piece
of erector set I had,
and it finally became...
science against nature.
Okay, go with me on the launch.
Come on, Squints.
- Prepare to launch.
- Prepare to launch.
Prepare to launch. Launching.
Launch.
Okay, you're on the ground.
[Growls]
Moving forward.
[Growls]
- You went too far. Go back.
- Reverse. It's too far.
Reverse.
Stop.
Drop catapult.
- The catapult is dropped.
- Open catapult.
We're gonna get it. I know it.
Opening.
Forward.
[The Beast Growling]
Close catapult.
- Catapult's closed.
- We're gonna get it. Come on.
- [Growling]
- Aah! Fire, fire, fire!
I got it! I got it! I got it!
Aah!
[Screaming]
[Snarling]
[Boys Whimpering]
[Scotty Narrating]
My life... was over.
Just as Bill had finally
warmed up to me...
and asked me to be
the man of the house,
I had to knock a priceless chunk of
history into the clutches of a monster.
Great.
I had a dream that night
about a giant baseball...
that was signed by Babe Ruth...
falling out of the sky
and hammering me into the ground...
like a railroad spike.
I didn't know what that meant,
but Benny had a dream that night too,
and his was a lot more helpful.
[Crowd Cheering]
Who's there?
Don't go pee in your pants.
I'm just here to give you a hand.
- B-But you're...
- Dead?
Legends never die, kid.
But you're really him.
You're The Babe.
The Sultan of Swat.
The King of Crash.
Of Crash, and a hundred
other dopey names.
Forget about that stuff, kid.
We ain't got much time.
- I'm here 'cause you're in
some kind of a pickle, right?
- Yeah.
A baseball with
my John Hancock on it...
went over a fence and you
can't get it back, right?
Yeah, right.
- Then just hop over there and get it.
- Wait, wait!
- I can't.
- Can't what?
- I can't go into that backyard.
- Why not?
There's a beast back there.
What kind?
A giant gorilla-dog thing
that ate one kid already.
Is that a fact?
Sit down, kid.
Sit down.
Let me tell you something, kid.
Everybody gets one chance
to do something great.
Most people never take the chance,
either 'cause they're too scared...
or they don't recognize it
when it spits on their shoes.
This is your big chance,
and you shouldn't let it go by.
Remember when you busted the guts
out of the ball the other day?
Someone's telling you something, kid.
If I was you, I'd listen.
Yeah. But what?
[Chuckles]
You're the one with the rubber legs.
Figure it out.
"Henry Aaron."
- I don't know why, but can I have this?
- Sure, yeah.
Thanks.
Wait.
You're saying I should hop over
that fence and pickle The Beast?
Think about that, kid.
I'll see you later.
[Crowd Cheering]
Remember, kid, there's heroes
and there's legends.
Heroes get remembered,
but legends never die.
Follow your heart, kid,
and you'll never go wrong.
[Knocking On Window]
[Knocking On Window]
I had a dream. Get dressed.
We're going to the sandlot.
Okay. Wait.
I'll get my stuff.
[Scotty Narrating] Only one kid
in history had ever attempted...
what Benny was about to,
and he got eaten.
So we were worried...
real worried...
even when Benny brought out
the secret weapon: :
Shoes guaranteed to make a kid
run faster and jump higher,
P.F. Flyers.
We can't let him do this, man.
Benny, wait.
It's okay.
It was my fault.
You don't have to do this.
Yeah. Come on, Benny, man. You don't
have to do it. Forget about it.
It's like committing suicide,
Benny. Don't do it.
- Yeah, don't do it, Benny.
- Yeah.
Don't do it.
It's suicide.
Yeah, I do, Smalls.
I have to do this.
[Babe Ruth's Voice]
Heroes get remembered,
but legends never die.
Follow your heart, kid,
and you'll never go wrong.
[Snorts]
[Snorts]
[Snarling]
[Sniffing]
[Gulps]
[Barks]
[Knuckles Cracking]
[Growls]
[Barking]
- Whoa!
- [Boys Cheering]
[Shouting]
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Yeah! All right, Benny!
- Oh, shit!
- [Barks]
[Barking]
Come on! What are we waiting for?
Let's get him!
[Barking]
A werewolf can be killed
only with a silver bullet...
or a silver knife
or a stick...
- with a silver handle.
- You're insane.
[Barking]
[Groaning]
Aah!
Ohh!
- The wolf bit you, didn't he?
- Yeah, he did.
Go now.
And heaven help you.
- [Grunts]
- [Growling]
[Audience Shouting, Screaming]
[Barking]
[Picnickers Exclaiming]
Look out! Aah!
Hey! Hey!
[Gasping]
- [Shouting]
- Hey, hey, hey! Kids!
Put it down.
Careful, careful.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Mommy, Mommy, look.
A doggy!
[Woman Screaming]
- Ooh, a big doggy.
- [People Shouting]
[Girls Screaming]
- Ohh!
- Look out! Look out!
Look out!
Sandlot, sandlot, sandlot!
Sandlot!
Let's go!
This way! Sandlot!
Shortcut, you guys! Let's go!
[Barking]
[Panting]
Where is he?
Does anyone see him?
I don't see him.
There he is!
[Barking]
Oh, no.
- [Cloth Rips]
- [Groans]
[Barking]
Aah!
[Grunts]
[Growls]
Look out!
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
[Whimpering]
Come on, guys.
Help me!
Please!
Benny! Benny,
help me, please! He's hurt!
Come on.
I can't lift it.
- [The Beast Whimpering]
- [Grunting]
Let's go.
Wow!
Aw.
- Wow!
- [Benny] Now we can play forever.
Hello?
This is bad.
This is very bad.
Um, we... we...
we brought your dog home.
Hercules?
How'd he get out?
I'm telling you guys,
we should've just turned it loose.
Um, uh, well, uh... We, uh...
What happened was, we hit a baseball
into your yard. We tried to get it back.
- So you're the ones that've
been making all that racket.
- Yes, sir.
You get it?
Um, y-yeah.
Well, first time...
that anybody ever got
the best of old Hercules.
Why didn't you just knock on the door?
I'd have gotten it for you.
- [All Shouting]
- Oh, my God!
I can't believe you!
- We got the ball back, didn't we?
- We almost got killed!
Didn't we get the ball back?
Just shut up!
We got the ball back.
Thanks for bringing him home.
Come on in.
We'll talk about this baseball.
Come on.
You in trouble,
aren't you, son?
Yeah, well, uh,
that was my stepdad's ball.
I took it without asking.
- It was signed by Babe Ruth.
- George signed this?
George Herman Ruth?
Yeah.
I take it back. You're not in trouble.
You're dead where you stand.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Here.
I'll trade ya.
That's nice of you, but that ball
really is signed by Babe Ruth.
So's this one, with the rest
of the 1927 Yankees.
Oh, man.
Murderer's Row!
Lou Gehrig!
[Scotty]
Babe Ruth! But why would you trade?
That one's all chewed up.
I got a lot of good stuff.
Look at that stuff.
Besides, you need it
more than I do.
You knew Babe Ruth?
George? I sure did.
And he knew me.
He was almost as great
a hitter as I was.
- I would've broken his record, but...
- You went blind.
Yep. I used to crowd the plate...
so the strike zone
almost disappeared.
[Laughs]
Pitchers hate that.
That's the way I played...
100% all the time.
Baseball was life.
And I was good at it, real good.
And then... one day,
a high fast one, and pow,
lights went out.
I don't think we
could take this ball.
I'll tell you what.
You guys come by once a week
and talk baseball with me,
we'll call it an even trade.
Deal!
[Scotty Narrating] Even though
Bill loved the Murderer's Row ball,
he was still plenty mad
about me having swiped...
his Babe Ruth autographed ball
and ruining it.
So I didn't feel too bad when
he grounded me for a week...
instead of the rest of my life.
Wow!
Things worked out
between me and him.
And from then on,
I didn't have any trouble...
just calling him Dad
all the time.
We all lived together
in the neighborhood
for a couple of more years...
mostly through junior high school...
and every summer was great.
But none of them ever came
close to that first one.
When one guy would move away,
we never replaced him
on the team with anyone else.
We just kept the game going
like he was still there.
You're starting
to hurt my hand.
[Boy]
Don't miss it!
[Scotty Narrating]
It was weird that Benny said...
Babe Ruth was like the Hercules
of baseball, and The Beast's
name ended up being Hercules.
None of us could figure out
what that meant,
but we were all amazed by it.
I kept in touch with those guys
over the years,
and I found out that Yeah-Yeah's parents
shipped him off to military school.
After the army, he became one of the
pioneering developers of bungee jumping.
Of course, we all know why.
Bertram, well... Bertram got
really into the '60s,
and no one ever saw him again.
Timmy and Tommy became
an architect and a contractor.
They started out small,
designing playground equipment...
and prefabricated tree houses.
But they became
multimillionaires...
when they invented
mini-malls.
Squints grew up and married
Wendy Peffercorn.
They have nine kids.
They bought Vincent's Drugstore,
and they still own it to this day.
Hamilton Porter became
a professional wrestler.
You know him
as The Great Hambino.
DeNunez played triple-A ball,
but he never got to the majors.
He owns his own business now,
and he coaches a little league team...
that his sons play on
called the Heaters.
Hercules lived
to be 199 years old...
uh, in doggy years.
I was the last one
to move away.
But when I did,
the sandlot was still there.
After Benny pickled The Beast,
his reputation spread all over town.
From then on, he was known as
Benny "The Jet"Rodriguez.
And the nickname stuck with him
for the rest of his life.
[Announcer] Now pinch running
for the Los Angeles Dodgers,
Benny "TheJet"Rodriguez!
It is the clutch situation
of the season.
They say The Jets lost
a step or two,
but I wouldn't be surprised
to see some fireworks here.
The Jets got
a suicide lead and...
And there he goes! He's stealing home!
I don't believe it!
- He's stealing home!
- [Cheering]
He's stealing home,
and they don't see him! The pitch!
He's hit the dirt!
He's safe! Safe!
- Oh, my God!
- [Cheering]
Safe! Safe! Safe!
I don't believe it! The Jet
stole home! The Jet stole home!
[Cheering Continues]
[Cheering Continues]
---the end---