Santa Claws (2014) Movie Script

Listen, kid, I been around
a few Christmases.
- It's true.
- No way.
I swear on my life.
- All nine of them?
- Yes.
Now quiet.
Here he comes.
Wow.
Magical, right?
Where's his claws?
He--He's so fat.
It's his jolliness, Rigby.
That's why he's so big.
Oh!
Is that the record Julia wants?
How did he know?
He is Santa, Rigby.
He knows.
Hey, I'm gonna tell
Santa what I want.
Hey, hey, kid,
where are you going?
I want to say hi
to Santa.
No, you can't.
Santa's allergic to cats.
Well, hello there.
Who are you?
Hi, Santa.
I'm Rigby.
Shoo, shoo. Go away.
I'd love to pet you,
but I better not.
I... Hello!
Eww. Gross.
Excuse me, Santa.
Go away.
Shoo!
Oh, you made him
sneeze again.
Go away.
Cookies.
Ah, cookies.
Rigby, get back here!
Hello?
Is someone there?
A cat!
Whoa! Chill out, dude.
Oh, no!
Julia's record!
See, kid?
I told you.
He's allergic to cats.
Santa?
Oh,
I can't let her see me!
Santa, wait!
- Santa!
- Cats!
Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!
Dang it.
Mom,
pop the trunk.
Mom.
Nathan has
a tree.
Tommy, please.
But, Mom, everyone
else has a tree.
Tommy, we talked
about this. Inside.
Hmm?
Little dusty.
Kittens, I'm home.
Hey, Tommy's home.
Heh. No.
No, I'm not gonna
go talk to her.
You go talk to her.
I don't know what to say.
You're Santa.
You're the one who
knows all this stuff.
Tommy!
Don't forget
to shut the door,
or the kittens'll
get out!
Get out? She's crazy.
Why would we want
to get out?
Hey, guys. I missed you.
And put the milk away,
or it'll go bad!
Okay, Mom!
Did someone say Milk?
I've been
starving all day.
Oh, no. Here she comes.
Oh,
this tastes so good.
Mom, it's Christmas Eve.
Tommy.
We don't even need
to get a big one.
We've already
discussed this.
Christmas is
just something
marketed by companies to sell toys
and other items they have too
many of at the end of the year.
Here comes another
sermon. I'm out of here.
I remember.
You know I love you
very much, right?
And that's why
I'm not gonna lie to you
and tell you
Santa's real.
He was made up
by a soda company.
You have to learn
to be self-sufficient,
not rely on someone to bring
you the things that you want.
Okay?
Hey, where'd
you guys go?
That's why when
you do your chores,
you get an allowance,
so you can buy
the things that you want.
Trust me.
When you get older,
no one's gonna
hand 'em to you.
I know.
I love you very much.
I love you,
too, Mom.
Hmm. Those little rascals
didn't leave any food for me.
Let's make a deal.
I will finish putting away
the groceries,
and I'll post
my new article,
and then you can do
your chores.
Dust the living room,
water the plants,
and then we go
to dinner. Deal?
Deal.
Are yours
this much trouble?
You have no idea.
Ah, I'm bored.
We better
not go anywhere.
It's almost nap time.
- Quick Get it!
- But it's almost nap time.
- Oh, lighten up.
Ha ha ha! You paper towels thought
you could escape me! Never!
You're right!
This is fun!
- Quick! Don't let it run away.
- I got it!
- You're through paper towel.
Whoo-Hoo!
We gotta make sure it never
escapes again!
That's it guys!
Nice job, Mittens!
This feels great on my claws!
- Ah! It keeps falling on me.
- Uh oh! It's still escaping over here.
- I'm on it!
- Hey! tear it apart.
- You're mine paper towel.
- Whee!
- Look guys, it's almost like we
have snow in the house now.
Oh quick! Grab it guys.
Not cool, guys.
How's it going?
What happened?
The kittens.
It doesn't matter.
Just clean it up.
They'll be out
of our hair soon enough.
Kittens,
what did you do?
Uh, we may have
gotten carried away.
I tried
to tell them, Mom,
but they
wouldn't listen.
Oh, yeah?
You weren't the one
I saw leaping
through the air?
Shut up, Hairball!
Enough!
Kittens, you know
Tommy and Julia
can't always do
everything for us.
If we can't show them that we can
take care of ourselves,
they'll...
They'll what?
They'll give you
a new home.
A new home? No!
They can't do that!
Yes, they can.
Listen to me when I say...
we need to take care of ourselves.
I picked a heck of a week to quit
coughing up hair balls.
Hmm, I'm hungry.
Did somebody
say food?
Tommy?
Always thinking
with your stomach.
Can you change that,
please?
Do you think Tommy
will put out some food?
No, Mittens. Mom says we
need to take care of ourselves.
I say we find
our own food.
No more loafing.
Huh? No more what?
Tommy!
Come on, Hairball.
Let's get that food.
Ah, you know
I would,
but it's
a little high,
and nine lives
is short
if you really
think about it.
Fine. I'll go myself.
Just try not to land
on your head if you fall.
Whoa, cramp!
Be careful, Patches!
Uh-oh.
Here it goes.
- Whoa, oh, oh!
- Oh, no!
Heads up!
Incoming!
Tommy!
Bail!
Let's get
out of here!
Sorry, Patches.
Oh, no.
I just mopped
in here yesterday.
Now I'm gonna have
to do it again.
I'll help you clean up.
No. You go outside,
and water the plants.
I will clean up.
They probably
didn't mean it.
I'm sure
they were just hungry.
I'm sure.
Outside, please.
And don't forget
to close the door!
"Tommy, do this.
Tommy, do that."
Why can't you do
something for a change?
Guys, I feel sorry
for Tommy.
Way to go, Patches!
Hey, it's not
my fault, Mittens.
It's always
your fault.
Shh! Listen!
What is that?
Oh...
My...
Gosh!
I thought
you two broke it.
We did!
Yet there it is!
It's impossible!
It's horrible!
It's the Devil!
- Run!
- Run!
It'll eat us all
in one bite!
Gotta go! Gotta go!
We gotta get out of here!
Go! Go! Go!
Right behind you, guys.
Hello, tail.
- Don't look back!
- Patches, slow down!
- Wait!
- It's still coming for us!
Gotta go.
Gotta go. Gotta go!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Patches, look out!
Ouch!
Timber!
No. Oh, no!
Tommy, how about we try to
keep the kittens off my lawn?
And that's my cue
to leave.
Okay, buddy?
Okay.
Sorry, Mr. Bramble.
I'll help.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's okay.
Now, Tommy,
I'm gonna level with you.
These Santas have been
in my family for generations.
Creepy.
It's not creepy.
It's a tribute to the true
meaning of Christmas.
Sad. I have to tell a grown-up
that Santa isn't real.
Of course he is.
It's okay,
Mr. Bramble.
You don't
have to lie to me.
My Mom already
told me the truth.
She did?
Well, if you'll
excuse me, Tommy,
uh, I'm gonna have to find
myself some superglue, so...
Santas, hang out for a bit.
This chair is boring.
Let's go somewhere else.
Hey, where do you think
you're going?
No, not the chair.
We'll die of boredom.
Don't be so melodramatic,
Hairball.
- Hey watch the fur!
- Let me go!
No, no, no,
or you're gonna
get in trouble.
Hey, Trouble's my middle name.
Haha, you can't
get us.
Try and catch us now.
Hey, watch that fur.
Yeah, Mom just gave us
a bath.
- Judge Tommy?
- Yeah, since when does he hate fun?
Tommy, can you get
the door, please?
Hi, Tommy.
Is your mom here?
Look, I'm sorry if I was
short with you earlier.
It's just those Santas,
they're very special
to me.
It's okay, Mr. Bramble.
Your childhood delusions
are causing you to revert
back to a childlike state.
Heh heh.
Who said that?
Mom. She writes about it
in her blog.
Yeah, I know.
Is she around,
by any chance?
Mom! Mr. Bramble's here!
Hmm.
Hey!
Macaroni and cheese?
Oh. You cooked.
Oh, actually,
I also came over
because I wanted to see
if you had any superglue.
See, one of my Santas
fell outside,
and I want to fix it
before tonight.
All the stores
are closed.
Why by tonight?
Well...
so Santa can see them.
Okay.
There you go.
Uh... thank you.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
Well, actually,
if you guys
aren't doing anything
tomorrow night
and you wanted to
come over for dinner,
you're more than welcome
to stop by and...
Marcus, thank you,
but Tommy and I
will be busy
settling everything
for the kittens' adoptions.
Bramble? What is
he doing here?
It smells
like poo!
We would have done it sooner
but everything's closed
for the holidays.
Smells like you, Patches.
Geez, you roll in
fertilizer one time...
Well, let me know if you change your
mind about dinner tomorrow night.
Hey! Where you
going with that shoe.
- These shoes really stink!
- No Mary, it ain't.
Wait! Where's he going?
Hey! Get back here!
Look out!
Ahh!
- Timber!
- Bullseye!
Oh, my gosh!
I am so sorry.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
You got
something on your face.
Yucky.
I'm fine.
Better luck
next time, Bramble.
Tommy, we need to talk
about the cats.
Mom,
they're like family.
No. They are family.
Tommy, I can barely keep
up with the two of us.
I promise
I'll watch them.
We've already had
this conversation.
Money's just too tight.
I can't afford vet bills
for four cats.
Mom, please?
I'm sorry, but you know
that they're gonna have
to go up for adoption.
You never listen
to what I want!
I'm old enough to choose whether
I celebrate Christmas or not.
I bought this after school the day
before Christmas vacation.
Hey, you guys want
to hear a Christmas story?
"Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night."
I like that story.
Did you like
that story?
This kid has talent for
telling great stories.
Oh, no!
I want to
eat that book. Mmm.
Oh no! The Christmas
tree!
Is everything okay?
Yep. Just getting ready
for sleep.
Tommy, honey, we have
to talk about the kittens.
Well, good night.
Good night.
What is this?
What's what?
That.
My Christmas tree.
Please
don't take it away.
Where did you get it?
You said people should
work for what they want,
and I bought it
with my allowance.
Tommy, I'm glad you
understand that if you save,
you can get
the things you want,
but I can't allow you
to have that.
- But, Mom...
- Tommy, how many times have I told you?
Santa isn't real.
And there's no need
to have a tree
if we're not gonna put
presents underneath it.
- I know, but--
- Tommy.
- Go away.
- Tommy!
I said go away!
I'm sick of having
to act like an adult!
I'm gonna prove
that Santa's real!
Tommy.
I said go away!
First, Christmas?
I wonder what
she'll take away next?
I wonder what Easter's
like around here.
Poor Tommy.
I built this box
for you.
I'm gonna put you
in it.
I'm gonna give it
to Santa.
You're
gonna be nice,
because he's gonna
take care of you.
I promise, I'll never do
anything bad again.
What--What--No.
Wait. Wait. What?
Wait. Aww!
Ehh!
Can I even fit in here?
I'm gonna miss you guys.
We got
to get out of here.
Maybe Mom
will hear us.
Shh.
She can't hear us. She
must be sleeping.
Oh, no.
He's taking us
to our new home.
But we
want to stay here!
Where's Mom? Mom?
I don't want to go!
Mom? Mom?
Don't worry.
I'll get us out.
We promise we'll
be good from now on!
I swear!
Ouch! You stepped
on my tail!
Sorry.
Guys, I'll be right back.
Does that mean we can
get out of this box soon?
I don't know.
He said he'd
be right back.
I'm really
gonna miss you guys.
I'm gonna
miss you, too, Tommy.
You guys were
my best friends.
Oh, no! Mom, help!
Tommy, wait!
Tommy wasn't
kidding, then.
He really is
giving us to Santa.
Oh, he's close.
He's close.
Come on.
Where are you?
There you are.
He's here.
Come on.
Whoa! Whoa!
Good job, Donner, Blitzen!
Those Thompson twins
almost caught us.
What am I doing here?
I haven't been here
for years.
I have no presents
for this address.
Records indicate
a pick-up at this site.
Please proceed
to the chimney.
No, no. You don't--
I don't think there's any
presents for this address.
Records indicate
a pick-up at this site.
Please proceed
to the chimney.
All right.
All right.
Here we go.
Come on.
Tune in. Tune in.
No, tracking node,
come on.
Flip over.
Flip over.
Heh heh. Wow,
it has certainly been a
while since I've been here.
This guy needs to lay off the cookies.
- Wait. Is that Santa?
- It is.
Maybe he's gonna
take us to our new home.
But I like this one.
"Dear Santa, Mom--"
Hmm?
Oh. Cookies.
He gets cookies?
Aw, that's not fair.
- Mom?
Uh-oh.
No.
Wait!
Whoa!
- Wait!
- What's going on now?
Hey, guys!
Where is he taking us?
I never even got to say
goodbye to the litter box!
What's going on?
Whoa! Whoa!
Wait! Why are we
up on the roof?
Whew. That was close.
Let's see
what we have here.
We have a note.
It's Santa.
I gotta record this.
Tape. I need a tape.
What have we got here?
"Dear Santa, Mom won't
let me keep kittens.
Please take--"
Kittens?
Fifth grade recital,
no.
Ballet classes, no.
Kittens?
No, no. N-No.
No kittens.
"Sharknado,"
definitely not.
Dad's farewell speech,
yes!
Come on. Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Come on.
Kittens. Kitten.
Ouch!
I'm gonna hurl!
My tail!
Just a hair ball.
Oh, jeez. Come on.
Oh, no!
Santa?
That was weird.
Uh, guys?
I think
we broke Santa.
He's not moving.
Tastes
like cookies.
Hey, guys, I think
we broke him.
Let me check
his pulse.
Psst! Up here, dudes!
Whoa, you can talk?
Whoa! Like, so can you.
Come on. Clock's a-ticking,
little dudes.
What do you mean?
These presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves, little bud.
You'll have to fill in
for the big man.
Things just can't get
any worse.
And then
this happens.
Come on!
I'll drive.
You can't even walk
on four legs.
How do you expect
to drive this thing?
Ooh. Hey. Hey.
Fish sticks.
Aw, you guys.
I can't get in,
you guys! Wait!
Santa?
Are you here?
Santa?
Hmm, how do you
work this thing?
Hey, furry dude,
hit the little red button
next to the screen.
This one?
Hello, and welcome
to the Santa Sleigh 3000.
I'm Tinsel.
I will be your liaison
to the H.O.L.I.D.A.Y.,
Helpful omni-longitudinal, international,
directional, accurate yuletide system.
System complete with CPS,
Christmas
Positioning System.
It appears that the sleigh
has not moved
in the recommended
amount of time,
and the weight ratio
is incorrect.
The last call
was a distress call.
If the last call
is incorrect,
please select the Home button
to recalibrate.
Otherwise, please select
from the following,
Santa emergency,
sleigh emergency,
reindeer emergency.
Santa emergency.
Hit "Santa emergency," Patches.
You've selected
Santa emergency.
Please choose
from which type.
Present malfunction,
lack of cookies,
incapacitation.
Incom-pasa-what?
Incapacitation!
Push the button,
Patches!
Remain calm.
In case
of Santa incapacitation,
please retrieve
Santa's cloth receptacle
if it has not already
been located.
Then procure the
supersonic aerial vessel,
and reassure
the rangifer tarandus
are in adequate condition
to help aid you
on your journey.
Santa?
The content
in the cloth receptacle
must be cross-referenced
with the most current
behavioral scroll.
The scroll, or naughty
and nice list
in layman's terms,
can be located underneath
the aerial vessel...
or sleigh's dashboard.
I think we found it!
Good job, sis!
This list features all those
who are naughty and nice
from around the world.
The glowing name indicates
who's next in line
for content delivery.
Just say the name
on the list,
and the rangifer tarandus
and aerial vessel
will allow you to fly off
to your next destination.
But, remember,
you must stay on schedule.
All content, presents,
must be delivered
by sunrise.
Sunrise? That's like
in six hours!
If the younger humans
do not receive presents
on Christmas,
there will be riots
in the street,
and everyone
at the North Pole
will be out of a
job, including me,
so good luck,
and please refer to
the H.O.L.I.D.A.Y guide anytime
if you are in need
of assistance.
Now what?
Now let's gt this show
on the road.
We'll have to hurry!
This is to keep
our home, guys!
Carrie Bailey
up next!
Awesome!
Carrie Bailey!
Let's go!
Whoa! Where are
the seat belts?
- Whoa!
- This is amazing!
Oh, my God.
Oh, he's leaving!
Santa!
Whoa!
- Help!
- No. Oh, God! No, don't leave!
Please. Oh, Lord.
Oh, come on!
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
- Whoa!
- Slow down!
- How do you fly this thing?
He's going around
the other way!
- Whoa! We're gonna die!
Santa!
- Kittens?
- Whoa! Where are the brakes.
Come on, come on,
come on. Come on.
No, no, no,
no, no, no.
Santa!
Bye Tommy!
Hey, man,
did I ever tell you guys
about that time that I took
the sleigh out by myself?
Man, I was
in so much trouble
when I got back to the
North Pole, but it was sweet!
Great. There went my one
chance to meet Santa.
That's not Santa.
Those are
my kittens.
Well, if those
are your kittens,
then where's Santa?
Hmm.
All right.
Let's get you inside.
Hey!
Da da da
Wake up!
Santa, why are
you so fat?
Whew.
- Whee!
- Whoo- hoo!
Getting down the chimney.
All you have to do
is touch the bag,
and it will do the rest.
Whoa!
Oh, great!
How are we supposed
to get the presents
up in the stockings?
I'm not sure.
I got it.
Catapult ready. Fire!
Great job!
- Three-pointer.
- Heh heh. Yes!
All this work is making me
hungry.
Whoo-hoo!
Milk and cookies!
Oh, pretty.
The lights.
Any tuna flavor?
Ohh.
Guys, I'm kind of
stuck here in the tree.
Help. Help, guys!
- Coming.
- Ah, boy. Here we go.
We'll get you out!
Just hang on,
Hairball!
Don't move!
I moved.
Now the tree's moving.
Stop moving,
or else you'll--
Or I'll what?
Timber!
Tommy.
Those were for Santa.
Whew. Okay, big guy.
Maisy.
Maisy?
Oh, there you are.
What's wrong
with you?
There's nothing there.
Fine, but I'm
going back to bed.
Let me know
if you capture Santa.
Santa.
Honey,
don't touch me there.
Santa.
No, Mrs. Claus, don't.
Santa.
Santa, this is gonna
be a long night.
How does it
look, guys?
Um, looks good?
Hey,
I did my best.
Hurry.
Someone's coming!
Quick! How did Tinsel say
to get out of here?
That was close.
Hey, guys? Uh,
could we make a pit stop?
You'll have
to hold it.
We have a schedule
to keep to.
Santa?
Santa?
This is made with organic
cinnamon essence.
There's gotta be
something else.
I thought Mom didn't
celebrate Christmas.
Ohh!
Why isn't this working?
Who are you, and
where am I?
I'm Tommy,
and you're in my house.
Well, go close
those blinds.
I can't have
anybody see me.
Ah, come on.
Thank you.
I'm--I'm sorry.
I just--
I just can't have
anybody see me.
It'll be the whole end of my career.
Are you allergic to cats?
Why does everybody
always ask me that?
I'm allergic
to a lot of things,
cats, legumes,
certain metals,
nightshade plants like
tomatoes and peppers.
- Really?
- Don't worry.
It's okay. It's fine.
My mother was allergic
to all those things.
I am, too. Heh.
It's genetic.
Who would have thought
that Santa is such a mess?
Hi, kitty.
Nice kitty.
Stay. Stay, kitty.
S-Stay. Stay, kitty.
Ah, no.
No, no. Ow, ow, ow.
Don't-- Don't do that.
Kitty. Kitty. W-What
are you doing-- Ahh!
Gotcha.
Cats.
Cats.
Cats. Meow!
Purr! Rawr!
I'm gonna get
those cats!
Guys, look. There.
Right there!
There's a giant
litter box.
Jeez, fine.
Finally.
Gotta go. Gotta go.
Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go.
Aw, man.
Gotta go.
- Can't wait!
- I'm gonna get all dirty again!
Hairball, wait!
Mittens, wait!
We'd better get adopted to
some really nice homes, Santa.
I mean, come on!
You look over there!
Guys,
a little privacy?
Oh, sorry.
Oh, um...
Don't listen
to me go!
Never mind. Just gonna
go over here.
Guys, you should
take a look at this.
We're on a house.
Heads up Mittens. We're coming
down too.
Ugh!
This place gives me the creeps!
Hairball, a litter box
gives you the creeps.
Whoa! look at this tree!
Hide!
Someone's coming!
What was that?
I don't know.
Hello!
Oh, God!
It's just a nice
little girl, guys.
- You're not Santa!
- And you're not little.
But you are cute.
She's starting
to freak me out.
Are you thirsty?
Could I get a cheeseburger?
I'll get you some water.
I thought
she'd never leave.
Okay, we've gotta
get out of here.
Yeah, let's just leave the
present and skedaddle.
You guys,
she could be the one,
the one that'll
take care of us.
Yeah, maybe if you
want to end up
with a missing
eyeball or tail.
Did you see
those pigtails?
I'm back! I brought you
some water.
And my cheeseburger?
- I have a bad feeling about this.
- Come here, kitties.
- Patches, no!
- Kitty, come here!
Patches!
- Ah, that's much better.
- He's doomed.
You can live
with me now.
We'll be
best friends.
We don't
have time for this.
- We have a schedule to keep.
- We still have a lot of
presents to be delivered.
We need Patches.
We must do something.
Let's dress you up.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
That one's horrible.
What's she
doing to him?
Listen. I have a plan,
but you're gonna
have to trust me.
- Perfect!
- Hey!
- Ow!
- Aww. Poor kitty is sick.
Kill me.
Oh, no! My other babies
are sick, too!
You guys need rest.
Two of you
have been sick,
and one of you has been
a very naughty kitty.
This is
humiliating!
But I still love you.
Come on, Pedro.
Good night,
my kitties!
Oh, guys,
a little help, please?
I think
you look cute.
Okay,
not funny, guys.
I think she's asleep.
Maybe we should stay.
She seems
to really like us.
I'm a prisoner.
Get out!
Okay, let's make
a break for it!
Run! Run! Run! Run!
Where are you going,
my kitties?
Run! Run! Run! Run!
Get back here!
Run! Run--
Oh, my shadow.
I did not look cute
in that dress.
We gotta hurry! Some many
couple hours left till sunrise.
And we still have the country
to go!
Hah!
Hah!
Oh, cute!
I say we keep 'em.
Yeah, let's get 'em!
Nope. Not playing
dress-up again.
- Let's get out of here.
- Get 'em!
- Let's go!
- I'm coming!
Are we done yet?
Not even close.
Aw, man!
Now who's next
on the list?
Oh for Ashley.
And one for Rachel.
Ashley. Ashley.
Mm. Huh?
Wake up.
Wow.
Okay, got it.
Run! There's a dog!
Ahh!
Ha ha. Hairball, stop
playing around.
Thank you.
Merry Christmas!
I'm starting
to get hungry.
- On your mark, set...
- Go!
Squeak!
Squeak, Maisy.
Oh, no, look at me!
I'm a poor
defenseless little mouse
who's in the middle of this
wide-open grassy knoll thingy,
and I am way too old,
blind and slow to move,
but yet
you cannot catch me.
You must be the silliest,
stupidest cat in history.
Oh, oh, look how close
you're getting.
Oh, you're
so close now.
Can't you smell
my goody mouseness?
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
I got you.
I got you, kitty.
Yeah, not as smart as
you look, are you? Huh?
I can't believe
you fell for that mouse,
you silly little
four-legged rodent.
That's right.
What?
Oh, shut up, cat.
We're almost done, guys.
That's great.
Homeward bound soon.
What's that sound?
Nothing, Hairball.
Probably just the wind.
Look out!
Shh!
Quiet.
Shh!
Not a word.
Not a word, cat.
Not a word.
Not a word from you.
Ah, no!
We're gonna crash!
Patches, do something!
I'm trying!
I'm trying!
I think
I'm gonna be sick!
Ah, no!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Whoa!
We're going down!
We're out of control!
Patches, put us down
in the snow!
If you would be
so kind to point out
where my reindeer
and sleigh are.
I am on a tight schedule, you see,
and I've gotta
get going.
Get away from my son,
you shopping mall freak!
Wait! Wait!
- I'm Santa Claus.
- Oh, sure.
And I'm Kate Middleton.
Listen. Stop.
Put that down.
Watch.
That's just a magic trick.
You had a candy cane
in your other hand.
Okay.
Watch that.
Hmm?
Nice try.
Tommy, go to my bedroom,
and get my cellphone.
No, Mom.
That's the real Santa.
Tommy, we've talked about this
time and time again.
Santa's not real.
Yes, he is.
I saw him
fall off the roof.
Well, now I know you're
just making things up.
Come on, Santa.
Show her.
Tommy...
did you buy a
Christmas tree this year
with your own
allowance money?
Do you know where
that tree is now?
Well, why don't you go
look in the garage?
You couldn't do it,
could you?
You couldn't throw away his
Christmas tree, could you, Julia?
Who are you?
How do you know my name?
And who told you
about that tree?
Did Tommy tell you?
I'm Santa Claus.
Is that so hard to believe?
Yes.
Ah, there you are.
Maisy.
Stop it. God.
Whoa! What the-- What
has gotten into you?
Here you go, Santa.
Why, thank you,
Tommy.
Enough with this phony baloney.
I'm calling the cops.
Mom, wait!
Just watch. Watch.
It's there.
Come on.
You're in there.
Yes.
- Ho ho ho ho!
- Whoa!
Yes.
Awesome!
Merry Christmas!
- Mom! You gotta come out!
- No!
Julia! Julia, I'm here!
Mom, please!
I'm calling
the cops!
Wait. Julia...
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Wow.
Wow!
Santa's hat.
It's real.
- Santa?
- I'm scared.
- I want to go home.
- Wow, what's up dudes?
- Oh my --
- Come on.
- We gotta get out of here.
- I'm hungry.
Let's find that list.
Just stay together.
Oh, Maisy.
I'm glad you're here.
I'm gonna need
your help.
You were eight years old
that Christmas.
You had two cats,
Baxter and Rigby,
and you wanted that 45
more than anything else
in the world.
What's a 45?
It's a record.
A what?
Do you know
what a CD is?
A what?
Oh, never mind.
Julia, the cat scared me,
and I stumbled, and I
knocked that record down,
and I broke it.
But you kept it
even though it was broken,
because you
wanted to remember
that Christmas
when you actually saw me.
And Marcus Bramble,
he saw me, too,
that night.
And for a while, the two
of you were inseparable.
And you put up with
a lot of hazing and teasing
by the other kids
because you believed in me.
But finally you
couldn't take it anymore.
Marcus could,
and he kept on.
That's why you hated him,
because he could do something
that you weren't able to.
Mom, I saw the ornament
in the front closet.
I know you believed
in Christmas.
Julia, you didn't want to put
Tommy through that same hurt,
through that pain, and so
you denied that I existed...
but here I am.
Your son,
he believed in me,
and here I am.
Santa?
It really is you!
Yes, it is.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, dear.
But why?
Why did you let them
tease us like that?
I begged and I begged
you to bring us proof
so that we could
show the other kids,
but nothing
ever came.
Julia, Christmas isn't
about proof or evidence.
It's about sharing in that
spirit and spreading the joy.
Now, if I gave you
evidence of my existence,
all that
would be in danger,
the North Pole,
Mrs. Claus,
the elves
and the reindeer.
It wouldn't be very fair,
now, would it?
I guess I have
pretty good proof now.
Here I am.
See, Mom? I told you I
could prove Santa's real.
Tommy, I'm so sorry for
giving you such a hard time.
It's just I didn't
want you to get hurt.
I know, Mom.
Uh, now that my life
is no longer in danger,
maybe you guys
can help me.
I really
could use some help
getting my reindeer
and sleigh back.
I mean,
it's getting very late.
I thought you knew.
Knew what?
The reindeer took off
with your sleigh.
Huh?
And my kittens.
You mean the kittens
that were in that box?
Yeah.
Oh, this is a disaster.
It's almost sunrise.
My magic runs out
at sunrise.
If it comes out that Santa
didn't finish Christmas,
I'll be ruined!
The kids'll riot
in the streets!
They'll be--
They won't go
to school anymore!
And grown-ups wouldn't
be able to force them to--
It'd be mass chaos
and hysteria!
It's terrible!
It'd be a catastrophe!
Santa, snap out of it!
Oh. O-Okay.
All right.
Way to be
the designated driver, Patches.
We lost the list!
Where are the reindeer?
They're gone!
You think they'll
come back for us?
Pfft. Yeah, right.
Those dummies probably don't
even know we're missing.
Let's find
that list.
Just stay together.
I'll find it!
- Mittens, wait!
- Mittens!
Who knows what kind of trouble
those kittens could be in,
but we need to figure
a way to help them.
This requires
some brain food.
We have cookies.
Did you say, "Cookies?"
Hmm. A plan
to save Christmas.
Well, Tommy,
I figured out
if I could take the
Christmas spirit from my hat
and add it to some
Chris--magic-- My hat!
W-Where's my hat?
Ever since that Christmas
where Julia and I saw Santa,
I've been so sad that she
didn't back me up
when the other kids
made fun of me for it,
and I spent
every Christmas since then
paying tribute to Santa
and trying to prove
that he is real.
But now the power
of Santa's hat
has shown me that Christmas
isn't about
paying tribute to Santa.
It's about loving others
and being kind to others
and helping those
who need my help,
people like Julia...
and Tommy and you
and your poor
little defenseless babies
that are lost out there
in the cold of night all alone!
I can help them!
We can help them!
Yes, let's go
find your kittens!
Great. I'm talking to a cat.
Mittens! Hairball!
Where are you?
Where are you guys?
We can't go on
without you, list.
Come on. Where are you?
Come on. Where are you?
Dumb list!
Patches! Mittens!
Where are you?
I'm so cold.
Please, I'll never
ask for anything again.
All I want for Christmas
is my family back.
Hey, man.
Hairball!
Who were you
talking to?
Uh, nobody.
I lost Mittens. I don't know
if I can find her.
Oh, found her.
Mittens!
Miss me?
Told you I'd find it.
What are we gonna do?
Our elf support
won't answer.
We're stranded.
Okay, Maisy,
let's find 'em.
Let's see if we can break into
the Santa network
and stop from
where they're going.
Oh, God.
It's blocked.
Oh, boy.
I need some help
on this one, Maisy.
Nedry.
Oh, perfect.
Please be home.
Please be home.
Come on. Answer.
Hello.
Nedry.
Oh, thank goodness.
I am so glad
you're home.
Listen, I need your help
with something, okay?
What is it that you
need this time?
Look, um,
I need a favor.
Are you on Santa Tracker
10.8.1 right now?
I've been on it
all night.
Okay, perfect. Look,
I really need your help
with something.
I'm trying to break into
the Santa network
so that I can help
the sleigh.
Can you help me
with that?
Why do you need
to break into the sleigh?
Look, it's a long story.
I'll tell you about it later,
but just, please,
if you'll help me,
I'll owe you big time.
All righty, but you're
gonna owe me big time.
Oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
It's c-cold.
I want Mommy!
How are we supposed
to deliver these presents?
How are we
supposed to get home?
Kittens?
- Kittens?
- Bramble?
And Mom?
Get closer
so he can see you.
Oh, there you are.
It's me, Mr. Bramble,
with Maisy, your Mom.
Look, I need you to listen
and do exactly as I say,
'cause we're gonna try to
get you back home, okay?
Now, the sleigh
has backup rockets.
I can activate them
from here,
but you're gonna have to do
the steering from the sleigh.
Think you could do that?
Rock on!
Let's go home, Patches.
Whoo-hoo!
Hang on!
Remember,
you have to steer.
- Whoo- Hoo!
- Oh, no, no. Left.
- Whoo!
- Whoo- hoo!
Mom never lets me
have cookies at night.
Santa, would you
like some cookies?
A cookie.
Mmm.
- Thank you, Tommy.
- You're welcome.
Ohh!
Are these peanut butter
cookies?!
Yeah.
I told you I was allergic
to peanut butter.
You never said that.
I said I was
allergic to legumes!
Oh.
I killed Santa!
Tommy, go grab
the EpiPen.
It's in
the first-aid kit
in the bottom of the cupboard.
Hurry!
Okay.
Santa, hold on.
Hurry!
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Santa,
it's gonna be okay.
You're gonna
be okay.
Hurry!
Hurry!
Santa's fading fast!
Nope. Nope.
Hold on, Santa.
It's gonna be okay.
You look great.
Hurry!
Ah. Got it.
Tommy, hurry!
I'm going. I'm going.
Found it!
Hurry!
Whoops.
You all right?
Feel like
I won the lotto.
Oh.
Thanks for saving Santa.
Thanks, Tommy.
Now, that's
Christmas magic.
Thank you.
You'd think...
here's a man that can take...
millions of packages
around the world
in a night.
I can't even
drink any water
or find
my way home.
It's almost sunrise.
I can't
believe Bramble
- is the last name on the list.
-I know, weird, huh?
The sun is rising!
Hairball, do you see
Bramble's house yet?
What are you
talking about?
They all
look the same.
Kittens better hurry.
When the last
snowflake falls,
it's over for the year.
All right, Maisy.
They're getting close.
We better
get ready for them.
What's that?
It sounds
like my sleigh.
This is
Kitty One coming in.
I think
I'm gonna be sick.
- Yeah.
- Wait.
They're going
to Bramble's house!
And he hates
the kittens!
Oh, go! Go! Go!
Whah! You decorated the
outside of the house, too?
I couldn't
help myself!
Hurry! Hurry!
Hurry!
Hi, baby. Hi.
Marcus?
Mr. Bramble?
Hey.
Uh, this is exactly
what it looks like.
Marcus, get up.
Come on up, boy.
Come on up.
Give us
our kittens back.
No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
I can explain that.
I can explain. See,
what happened was is I--
I love you.
-Calm down.
I found Santa's hat,
and then I found Maisy,
and Maisy and I, we hacked
into the Santa network.
And we saw the kittens
were on the sleigh,
and the sleigh was lost,
so we got up,
and we got into the sleigh
through the GPS,
and then we redirected
the sleigh back here...
and then we found the
kittens in here as they're--
They're so cute. Look at 'em.
I love 'em so much.
- Just the best. I love 'em so much.
- Look at 'em.
Look at 'em playing
with each other.
Sorry.
What is wrong
with you?
Do you want, like, a hot
shower or some Vicks?
No, no, it's the cats.
I'm allergic to 'em.
- Um, can I--
- Sorry.
I'll be right back.
Boy, is he a couple
of bricks short.
Kittens!
Kittens, you had me
so worried.
I took care of us, Mom,
just like
you said we should.
Oh, kittens,
I know what I said,
but you are
still my babies.
Never think
for a second
that I will ever
not worry about you,
no matter how strong and
self-sufficient you become.
I'm your mother.
I will always worry.
I love you guys.
We love you, too, Mom.
Self-sufficient wha--
Ah, too many
big words for me.
Ah, that's nice.
Thank goodness
you guys are okay.
But what
about Christmas?
Aren't there still
presents to be delivered?
You're right.
Bramble's
the last house.
Here, Santa.
Oh, thank you, Tommy.
But it's empty.
There aren't
any presents left.
My magic's gone.
It's completely gone.
And if I can't deliver
this last present,
it'll be gone forever.
We have
to do something!
- Tommy's right.
- Mm- hmm.
Christmas just
can't be canceled.
I thought
you hated Christmas.
I don't hate Christmas.
I just--
I didn't believe in it,
but someone gave me
a reason to believe again.
Thank you.
Does that mean we can celebrate
Christmas next year, too?
Of course it does.
Yes.
But that won't matter
if we can't deliver
the presents this year.
Couldn't we
give Mr. Bramble
cookies or decorations
or something?
Hey.
Listen.
Whoa. Smooth landing.
Whoa, another
perfect 10, bro.
High hoof!
Cool!
Here, Santa. I think
this belongs to you.
Yes, it does.
Thank you, Mr. Bramble.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
Is there anything
I can do to help?
Help us?
I thought you hated us.
Besides, you can't give
a present to yourself.
You stopped
talking to me.
I wanted
to reach out,
but you never
wanted to talk.
I even started
following your blog.
How do you know
about my blog?
We've been neighbors
since we were little kids.
Ever since
we stopped talking
that one Christmas
that we saw Santa
and the other kids were
making fun of us for it,
I hated the fact
that I lost my best friend.
I connected with you
the only way I knew how.
I'm sorry
I stopped talking to you.
It's just that...
it was too painful
to be reminded of.
Well,
that's why I started
putting all those Santas
in my front yard.
I figured maybe if you
saw what Christmas was,
that you would
believe again
and I could have
my best friend back.
Santa, are you okay?
Where did Santa go?
And he didn't
even say goodbye.
Wait. Wait.
Listen.
The roof!
Quick! Outside!
Whoa!
Yes!
Tommy, I want
to thank you.
Without your help, Christmas
could have been ruined forever.
Glad to help, Santa.
And you guys.
I couldn't have
done it without you.
Thanks, Tommy.
Tommy, tell me what you'd
really like for Christmas.
Well, what I really want
is for the kittens
to stay with us,
but Mom said we can't
take care of them.
But that's what
I really want.
And I'll save up
my allowance
to help pay for them.
Well,
I'll take the kittens.
I could use the company,
and that way, they can see
Maisy anytime they want.
- Really?
- Really.
Do you guys
see what I see?
And this is for you,
little ones.
Mmm. Is it
my cheeseburger?
Thanks, guys.
And here's
a little token
of my appreciation.
This is
the coolest thing ever.
And this is
for you, Tommy.
Thanks, Santa.
Merry Christmas.
I think you know
what this is.
Thank you.
Marcus,
this should help you
get you in touch
with your inner child.
And you won't have to wait so long
to get it recharged.
Heh. Come on.
Thank you,
Santa.
Heh. Merry Christmas
to you all.
I have to go now.
It's getting
rather late.
Goodbye.
Travel patterns
indicate clear weather.
It'll be smooth sailing
all the way back
to the North Pole.
Welcome back, Santa.
Hello, Tinsel.
Ho ho ho!
Merry Christmas!
Whoa!
Let's go, dudes!
Ho ho ho! Merry
Christmas!
And I didn't even
get a picture of Santa.
Wait. I have an idea.
Why don't we
take a picture of us?
Everyone say,
"Merry Christmas."
Merry Christmas.