Santastein (2023) Movie Script
1
(Thunder)
(Thunder)
(Light flickering)
(Footsteps)
(Paper scribbling)
(Thunder)
Uh...
Stan.
Hm?
I think we got another one.
(Computer clacks)
(Sigh)
Damn this job.
(Paper slams)
I'm heading to the
cadaver lab now.
Over.
Hey, uh.
Did you leave the
back door open?
Over.
I don't know.
Over.
(Door creaks)
Jesus.
Stan.
Is everything okay over there?
This room's trashed.
Somebody's been in here.
Over.
(Door opens)
(Thundering)
Okay.
Cadaver lab is clear.
I'm gonna head-
(Screams)
(Creaking)
(Screams)
Damn it!
Stan, it's the necro!
(Panting)
(Struggles)
I finally got you, you-
A kid?
(Struggles)
Look alive, Edgar!
He's getting away!
(Door Closes)
Damn it.
We are so dead!
(Car drives by)
Fuck!
(Car drives away)
(Thundering)
Good morning.
This is WKR7 news.
You're waking up today
with Becky And Rob to
some breaking news from
the Lincoln Police.
That's right.
We're getting word that
the officials have zeroed in
on a suspect
in the morgue, bandit case.
They're believing
the suspect is a local student.
Well,
it can't be good or natural.
May the lord help this boy.
Rob, how's the weather
looking today?
Well Becky, we're feeling
that cool Autumn air,
but it wasn't always
like this at this time.
No, it can't be!
It's December 24th.
I'll tell you.
I can't believe it.
It's about 12 years
since winter ended!
And all the joys of
Christmas completely gone, too.
No one can really say why Santa
stopped delivering presents,
but the joy the world once
felt has now cruelly faded away
into a cold and distant memory.
(Thundering)
Tomorrow.
It has to be tomorrow.
(Music playing)
After months of preparation,
Santa flies from house to house.
Down the chimney he goes,
delivering to both
the naughty and nice.
He's checking his list,
and he's checking it twice.
To see if a child's
been naughty or nice!
But if you were naughty,
even just once,
this evil behavior is
what Santa confronts.
To make you upset is
his ultimate goal.
So don't be surprised
if you wake up to coal.
I can't wait to see the look
on Austin and Peter's faces.
You think this is about right?
Yeah.
Okay.
They will never - careful!
Bully us ever again.
Do you think we might get on
the naughty list if we do this?
Probably, but only for a year.
Yeah.
Either that or Santa
will understand.
Now we aren't keeping
him hostage, or anything.
Yeah.
Then we'll be on it forever.
Yeah, if he ever got out.
Yeah. Let's
not hold him hostage.
Plus, he'll give us
our gifts on Christmas.
Hey, kids!
You need anything else?
No, thanks, Dad.
So, uh...
What's this all about?
What are you doing here, guys?
We're trying to prove
that Santa exists.
Oh.
Because it will be a
tremendous discovery.
Oh. Okay.
Well, good luck.
Hurry.
It's almost Christmas.
Okay, we're all set.
I feel like we're
forgetting something.
Like what?
Milk and cookies!
Of course.
My grandma
just baked this morning.
I'll run and get them.
Hurry.
(Clock ticking)
(Thudding)
(Clock Chimes)
(Rumbling)
(Dust falls)
(Chimes)
(Thudding)
(Crash)
(Struggling)
(Patting)
(Humming)
Ah!
One for Paige here...
(Mischievous music)
Hmm...
(Creaking)
Max Causey.
Shouldn't you be sleeping?
Trying to prove I
exist, are you?
Ho ho ho! Ho, ho, ho!
Mm hmm.
Clever little invention.
You and Paige have
quite the imagination!
Now off to bed.
And Merry Christmas.
Wait...
Santa!
(Trap releases)
Oh!
(Camera flashes)
Oh. Whoa, oh,
(Groaning)
(Clanging)
(Clanging)
Oh, oh!
(Stab)
(Camera flashes)
(Choking, screaming)
(Thump)
S-s...
Santa?
(Shovel hits ground)
(Thunder)
(Thunder)
(Alarm Beeping)
(Light music swells)
(Birds chirping)
(Scribbling)
(Chuckles)
(Panting)
Hey, daughter.
Do you remember what day it is?
Was?
Um, Christmas Eve.
(Sobbing)
Your mother and I
will be going out later today.
We hope the party your
little friend's throwing
will bring you the joy
that we can no longer provide.
Love you two...
(Sobs harder)
Love?
(Door slams)
Hey Max, wait up!
Oh, hey. Good morning.
Don't you mean, Merry Christmas?
Oh, wow. Already?
Mhm. Yeah.
I caught my parents having an
existential crisis this morning.
I can't believe we used to take
that holiday seriously.
Oh, hey, we used to get
that two week vacation.
That wasn't that bad.
Who has the time for vacation
when you're so busy-
Doing experiments on dead rats?
For example.
You need to get a life.
Oh, like you're so busy moping.
I also brood.
(Laughter)
So you're ready for today?
Oh, yeah.
You know,
breaking the laws of nature
in front of a classroom
of uninterested students.
Y'know, I'm stoked.
I just hope the school's
generator can handle it.
Okay, listen. Blowing out your
power was perfectly fine, so...
You're just lucky
it came back on.
Okay, listen, Paige,
the math is done.
The school's
generator will totally turn on.
I promise you it will work.
Now, the biology I cannot say...
The biology is fine.
Whatever you say. I believe you.
Max. The biology is fine!
DMT and Krampus.
That's when I realized I
was really on to something.
Dick Cheney, Vlad
Putin, Tim Allen,
Al Gore, Bigfoot.
What do all of these guys
have in common with Santa Claus?
The coal industry!
Santa is giving coal
to millions of people for free.
They have to bump him off.
They definitely push him
into a furnace.
That's how they killed
Santa Claus!
Thank you, Joseph, for that
wonderful presentation.
So our next presenters
today are going to be
Paige Byers and Max Causey.
Good morning, everybody.
For our project,
we were assigned to examine
the role that electric currents
play on living things.
For our hypothesis, we estimated
that-
This shit's boring! Do
the experiment already!
Watch your language,
Mr. Greenwald.
Paige, please continue.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
(Class groans)
Oh. What the fuck?
Watch your tongue, Peter!
We concluded that if
we generated a large
enough electrical charge,
we could give the organs in the
body some sort of jumpstart.
And if that charge started
the brain, the neurons
could possibly reconnect
with the organs,
therefore, increasing the
possibility of reanimation.
Max?
Systems are...
(Suspenseful music)
(Electricity)
Come on!
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Miss Byers!
It's stabilizing,
just give it a minute!
(Electricity intensifies)
(Cord unplugs)
Smells like shit in here!
Austin!
I will not tolerate
cursing in this classroom!
What the fuck?
Yes!
Neat magic trick.
I bet the weirdo had
another one in his backpack.
Um...
Do we call a science
board or something?
Um... A plus.
(School bell rings)
You should have seen
Newham's face when he
saw the rat was moving.
No, you should
have seen my face!
Why a rat?
Couldn't you have used
a bunny or something?
Oh, God...
No!
Max, wait up.
Paige! We still have all
these fliers to handout!
- Just a minute.
- Oh my God!
Hey!
So do you think Mr.
Newham was for real
about the science board?
I don't know, I'm still
trying to convince myself
that it even happened.
What do you think
we should name it?
Woah, Causey, man!
Looking a little light there.
Not getting enough protein
from the dick you suck?
Oh, you're so hot
when you bully!
Oh, dude! Whoa...
Yo, check this out.
Hey...
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, hey, man.
Damn, Causey.
This is some serial
killer shit right here.
He's actually got the
hand of an artist.
Oh...
Man, I didn't know you
had a bodyguard, pussy!
No, you know what? I
think it's really cute!
The retards are falling in love.
Do you guys hold hands on
the way to the short bus-
Back off, Katie.
Don't you have some
cheeseburgers to barf up?
Oh, no!
I can't believe how
disgusting that rat was.
Hi guys!
And you are?
I'm Mikayla.
We've been hanging out lately.
I'm throwing this party tonight?
I- I do your
pre-calc homework...
Oh, the smarty with
the party! Hmm...
Retro Christmas girl!
You remember the theme!
I just printed these
from the library.
Make sure you give one
to every person you see.
Every person?
No, honey,
You want to only get them out
to people that look like this!
And avoid giving them out
to people that look like...
My chess club buddies?
Not party material.
But the more people we invite,
the more will actually
show up, right?
But then it's not exclusive!
Mikayla, please.
I know what I'm doing.
Trust me.
(Indistinct shouting)
Sorry!
Move, move!
Oh, I got him! I got him!
Thank god.
For someone who just
came back from the dead,
he's pretty fast.
You think we could bring
back something bigger?
Theoretically, with
a larger charge.
But it's not like you could
bring back a person or anything.
[Distant] If I don't find this
body, my boss is gonna kill me!
You gotta help me
track down this kid-
So, anyway.
Um, If you're free tonight....
Actually, Paige, I- I gotta go.
You should totally
come to my party.
(Splat)
Found it.
But it's only 99% alcohol.
Do you think that's okay?
First time buying
big boy juice, huh?
Yeah.
You two are lifesavers.
Oh, this one says hard!
Hey...
how good do you
want this party to be?
Austin, it's exclusive.
Yeah?
You're gonna want these, then.
Listen, the drunker
the people are,
the more expensive
their taste becomes.
Of course!
You're paying, right?
I am the host.
And an excellent host you are!
All right, listen,
we're not 21, so...
you handle this? Thanks.
Yeah,
we don't want to buying this.
You know, underage and stuff.
Good luck!
Oh, but I'm also-
I'm not...
I'm throwing a party.
Shocking.
A college party.
The girls are waiting for me
back at the sorority house.
Do you have I.D.?
Do I?
- Well, do you?
- You have to let me get these!
Please.
Here, this is my last chance!
You don't understand
what it's like to be cool.
Or, well, maybe you do.
I don't know. Sorry.
I don't mean to assume that,
but you have to allow this.
Please.
They're finally talking
to me and came with me.
They're super cute,
and I can't let them down.
This party has to be
the best party ever.
Like, it's got to be really fun.
Like, really, really fun.
- Like, really, really-
- 200 dollars.
What?
200 more and it's all yours.
I don't know, that
seems kind of-
- Then, I'm sure your
friends won't mind- - Okay!
Okay...
She thinks you're cute.
Blegh. Gross.
Well, it's a pleasure
doing business with you.
Mikayla, I told you last night
that I already organized
all the supplies in the attic.
I even color coded it for you.
Organized?
You mean you haven't
even set it up yet?
I mean, I color
coded it for you...
Paige!
We've been talking
about this party for two months!
Okay, Okay.
Don't freak out, Mikayla.
If anyone can handle this...
Okay. First things first.
Help me set up
these ornament decorations.
We need to have the living room
fully furnished
before we go to class.
I'm thinking,
chips and dip on one side,
soda's on the other.
That way people are forced
to walk across the dance-
Paige!
Are you even listening?
The chips, the drinks.
Am I talking to the air here?
Ew, no. Paige, he's so greasy.
He's my friend.
I heard he skins little kittens.
And you believe that?
There's a hint of
truth to everything,
that's what Katie says!
Katie?
We've been hanging out.
You mean you've been doing
her homework for her.
Status, Paige.
It's all about status.
If I can't throw a
great party today,
it'll all have been for nothing.
Trust me...
it's going to be killer.
(Thunder)
(Mysterious Music)
(Sparks)
Please Bill, you got to
help me track down this kid.
If I can't find this body,
my boss is going to kill me!
Boss is going to kill you?
That's a murder.
Uh...
Could you describe
this potential murder?
In detail.
What?
No, you idiot.
There's no murder.
Are you listening to me?
Idiot?
I'll have you know,
we just sent an officer
to a house full of
beer guzzling teens.
That's what I call
maintaining the peace.
Where's the chief?!
What's that?
Who wants me?
What do you need?
Chief!
You're a man of reason, right?
Reason...
Try explaining
losing two cars in a divorce,
then tell me about reason.
I've been investigating
the morgue stolen body case.
The Necro. Right.
That's some weird shit.
I think I got a lead.
What, a lead? Bill!
Yes, sir.
Get me a merit badge!
That's some good work uh...
It's Edgar, sir.
Right, right, right.
That's a good police
work, Edward.
We'll make a detective
out of you yet.
Oh, thank you, sir.
But, I'm really only
here to get my body back.
(Doorbell)
- You guys!
- Hey!
You made it.
Fashionably late, of course.
Now that you guys are here,
we can finally start
our first activities.
Wait, where's Austin?
Oh, he'll come by once
things pick up a little.
Oh, but that means we have
an odd number of people...
Okay, no worries.
I could just sit out the first
few games until he gets here.
I'm sure we can totally figure
something out.
- Totally! - Come on in,
I'll show you guys around!
I took your advice and
I went with status!
The winner of tonight's
tournament-
Yo, girl!
Where's the booze at?
Well, I made some snazzy eggnog,
but there's no drinking
until after we get through
the first sharing activity.
Oh, which reminds me!
Okay, everyone,
we have enough people
to get started
on our next activity.
Paige, could you please...
Paige?
(Rat chewing)
Paige?
What are you doing up here?
Just chilling.
Chilling!?
You were supposed to be down
over an hour ago.
You haven't even
put on the outfit we picked out!
Oh, uh...
I must have lost
track of time.
Paige, please.
I need you tonight.
You said you'd support me
through this!
Isn't this my house?
Things are falling apart down
there.
We're 2 hours behind schedule,
and most of the guests
aren't even here yet. But...
I think I saw Peter smile at me.
This really is all about
status for you, isn't it?
So what if it is?
Aren't you tired of those people
stepping on you all the time?
It beats staying up here
playing with the dead rat.
Besides, I think
I really like him.
You don't even know him!
And I'm not going to
pretend to enjoy myself
just so that you can impress
the biggest bitch in school.
Fine.
Stay up here
is the biggest loser instead.
- Fine!
- Fine!
(Thunder)
(Crash)
(Rat squealing)
(Thundering)
(Ominous Music)
(Hatch Opening)
(Papers rustling)
(Machine powers on)
(Gears turn)
(Vials rattle)
(Thunder)
(Loose rattling)
(Crack)
(Yelp)
(Unspooling)
(Scream)
(Alarm)
(Straining)
(Alarm)
(Lever switches)
(Lightning)
- (Explosion)
- (Scream)
Oh. This just keeps
getting better and better.
Everyone, just hang on a minute.
Paige's generator should
be kicking on any second now.
Paige. Paige!
How long does it take before
your generator comes back to-
She must have gone to fix it.
Nobody panic!
(Thunder)
(Gasp for air)
(Bell jingles)
(Bell jingles harder)
Dammit!
Do you hear yourself, Max?
you're insane, you're
insane, I'm insane!
I've literally insane!
This...
This isn't a rat.
How the hell can anyone
expect to resurrect...
(Grunt)
Santa!
Can you stand for me?
Are you okay?
Do you understand me?
I'm Max Causey.
You've been gone a long time.
Do you...
remember anything?
Oh my god. Yes.
Yes.
Yes!
(Screams)
It's okay.
It's okay. You're okay.
All right?
It's okay!
(Thundering)
Max!
(Door slam)
Max?
(Ominous music)
(Roar)
(Scream)
Max, help!
(Cries)
Max!
Stop, stop, stop!
Stop! Stop.
Okay. Santa!
Santa, this is Paige.
This is Paige, she's our friend.
Okay?
What is that?
Okay, okay.
Paige, meet Santa!
(Thunder)
Okay...
So this is happening.
You used our experiment...
to bring back...
a person.
Paige...
A Santa person.
Max!
I didn't think it would work,
but after so
many failed attempts!
And then the
experiment at school.
The rat.
It worked!
No, no, no, Max, the rat.
He was acting really
strange before I came here.
He started acting aggressive.
I think the
experiment is unstable.
But none of that matters
now, because-
Because I brought him back.
We brought him back
with our experiment!
Max, we have
no idea what can possibly-
Where'd he go?
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Santa?
(Ominous music)
(Party murmuring)
I don't know, man.
To be honest with you,
I don't
remember anything anymore.
Which reminds me,
Have you guys seen my apple?
Peter?
Oh, hey, Katie.
What the fuck are you doing?
Just playing checkers
with my buds.
Want to join?
No, I don't
want to play the game.
Spending the night in
prison is much more fun
than hanging out
with these virgins.
Then what the hell
are we still doing here?
Because, you idiot,
It's not every weekend
you have a house
without parents in it.
And I think
I know how to change it.
Observe!
Yeah. Hm.
- I can have it?
- Yeah sure.
Got it.
Hey! Um...
Mikayla.
Mikayla! Um,
do you want to go for a walk or
something?
Are you busy?
But the games are just
getting started.
Oh, but
the games aren't going anywhere.
Why don't we have,
you know, a little girl talk?
Oh. Okay!
This is nice.
A little girl time between us.
Sure is.
Tonight has been so stressful.
Nobody ever told me throwing
a party would be this difficult.
It totally takes a
certain type of talent.
It does!
I'm sure I can do it.
I just-
Do you have any tips for me.
Oh, just one. Um,
watch your step!
Woah, Katie, what are you doing?
Oh, don't lose
your head, sweetie.
We're going
to make a few fixes in here,
and then we'll
let you back in. Okay?
No, Katie!
All right, bitches.
Now.
(Screams)
(Ominous music)
(Power shuts off)
Why?
(Twig snap)
(Scrape)
Who's there?
(Swinging)
(Screams)
(Splash)
(Splashing)
Austin!
Oh, man, you should
have seen your face.
You looked so scared.
Why are you guys doing this?
I thought you liked me.
Oh, Mikayla.
No one likes you.
Austin. Austin!
Wait, guys.
No. wait!
Austin.
You asshole!
This is Officer James.
I've just arrived
in the Sycamore neighborhood.
No signs of any teens, over.
Oh, shit.
(Brakes drag)
(Crash)
Fuck.
(Mysterious music)
Oh, look.
Where do you think
he's taking him?
I don't know.
Let's follow him.
Chief, Chief!
I hit him the cruiser.
I couldn't see anything.
I swear.
God damn, James.
Another one?
(Thump)
I was just driving
and he jumped out of nowhere.
Damn it, James,
you can't just go around
running people over.
I'm sorry.
(Groans)
Oh.
He's not people.
He's just another drunk.
False alarm.
Ugly bastard.
Everybody back to work.
Chief!
Say, Bill,
get a picture of me
with this fat fuck.
For MySpace.
- Chief!
- What?
Chief, I think that's my body.
(laughs)
All right, James,
get right in close!
What?
(Flash)
- (Growls)
- Did you get it?
I think that's my body.
- (Cheerful Christmas music)
- This is WKR7 news here,
with a throwback song
sure to break your heart!
Christmas may be dead,
- but the music allows it to
live on! - Let me see that...
- James!
- (Snap)
Naughty...
- (Gun shot)
- Oh!
(Smash)
What's all that racket?
Oh, shit.
(Slam)
(Choking)
Do it, you bastard.
You don't have the guts.
Naughty.
- (Punch)
- (Scream)
- (Slimy wriggling)
- (Choking)
(Thump)
(Whimpering)
No!
Please don't kill me!
Nice.
- (Grab)
- Oh shit!
Now listen to me...
I know you're only a rookie.
You're not very strong,
and you're not very
athletic either.
But damn it,
you're all this town has left.
Now is not the
moment for cowardice.
You go out and...
kill that bastard.
(Thumping)
(Heroic music)
(Gun clicks)
They must have taken him inside.
(Screams)
He looks angry.
Yeah, I'd be mad too.
It's just like our rat.
Santa!
Max, he's covered in blood.
Max, run!
Santa. Santa, Santa stop.
Santa, Santa, stop, stop,
stop, Santa, stop.
Stop.
It's me.
Okay, stop.
It's me.
- It's Max.
- Max...
Okay.
Yeah, Max.
There's so much we
need to go over.
You must be so confused.
But I'm here for you.
All right, let's go to the lab.
Okay.
- (Gunshot)
- (Screams in pain)
No!
(Screams)
(Gunshots)
(Screams in pain)
(Solemn music)
Max, no! It's too dangerous.
I can help him.
I just have
to help him remember.
I can't let you die
trying to help him.
Then don't!
Where are you going?
I'm going to try to find
somebody who can help us.
Damn!
Hey kid, you okay? You
You...
(Struggling)
Let go of me,
I have to find him!
I finally caught
you, you little shit.
What are you doing?
What does it
look like I'm doing?
You're not even a cop!
I'm the only cop
this town's got left.
What?!
I don't know
what kind of necro shit
you did to that body,
but there's a
killer on the loose.
And you're gonna
help me find him.
(Crowd cheering)
Let me in!
Nog me, bro!
What?
- and together...
I personally prefer bananas.
- (Screams)
- The fuck?!
We're all out of drinks!
Aw, Patricia...
Focus, okay?
Jenny's running late
getting the booze,
and I need you
to go to the store and get some.
What the fuck are
you still doing here?
Go!
(Dog barking)
(Door creaking)
(Ominous music)
No, Mr. Delgado,
I can't find the spare key.
My shift was supposed
to be over by now.
This is getting ridiculous.
(Door creaks)
Um, excuse me.
We're closed.
No, I can't find the
leather keychain.
(Bottles clang)
Give me a minute.
Listen, we're closed!
I'm going to have to ask you
to leave.
No, Mr. Delgado!
I can't stay overnight.
I'm supposed to be
meeting a hot date right now.
Look, mister,
if you don't leave now,
I'm going to have to call the-
police?
Hot date, you say?
Diego!
You know, you should really
lock that back
door now and then.
I would, I just
can't find the keys.
You mean, these keys?
(Sigh)
(Phone ringing)
North District
Police Department.
Hello?
Hello?
Ready to head
over to Katie's party?
She should have hijacked
it from that dweeb by now.
Come on, Jenny!
We finally have some privacy...
- (Growl)
- Hello?
Naughty.
Did you hear that?
No, I didn't hear anything.
No, seriously,
I think I heard something.
Babe, you're being paranoid.
I'm not being paranoid,
I think someone's in here.
(Handcuff jingling)
What took you so long?
(Car revs)
Hello?
- Is there anybody there?
- Shh!
Relax, babe.
I'm here to protect you.
So, can we move on from
this little investigation?
Okay. Mr. Protector,
you mind getting us
some protection then?
Fine.
But you better not be wearing
any clothes when I get back.
Protection...
Where the hell do they
keep this stuff?
Oh...
Mrs. Claus...
you can jingle my bells any day!
- (Distant moaning)
- Diego?
(Belt flapping)
(Scoff)
- Diego!
- (Gasp)
You douchebag!
Wait, baby, wait!
Babe, relax.
I was just warming up.
Come on babe,
what's the big deal?
I was thinking of you anyways.
What about
our romantic night in?
Romantic night?
You call beating
it to Mrs. Claus
a romantic ni-
(Stab)
(Scream)
Oh, fuck!
(Dramatic music)
(Bottles clang)
(Screams)
Hello?
Anyone here?
(Dramatic music continues)
(Gasp)
No, no!
(Scream)
(Bottle smash)
- (Muffled screaming)
- (Blood spraying)
Bye, Jenny!
(Knocking)
(Door opens)
I didn't know where else to go.
I need your help.
(Fire crackling)
So, if I have this right,
Max Causey has brought
Santa back from the dead?
Well when you put it that way...
it sounds ridiculous.
You have no idea what
you've unleashed.
His power is vast.
He spreads the cheer.
But reawakened,
he brings the fear.
A fateful night
and stormy weather.
A body stolen,
and stitched together.
Your creature is in here.
And more people are in danger!
An open hatch, a
flash of light...
(Thunder)
Okay, Edgar, please.
You don't know
what you're doing, all right?
You got to let me out of these
cuffs so I can-
Shut up!
Shut your ass up.
Don't hurt him.
No - Don't hurt him!
And the world will be
shrouded in a silent night.
The closer
we come to Christmas Day,
the more power he gains.
The more he
remembers what he once was,
the more he realizes
everything he's lost.
My dear...
you've created a monster.
What do you know about this?
(Fire crackling)
(Screams)
Well that won't do you any good.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Don't get snippy with me.
I'm not snippy.
I'm just...
frustrated.
I've been spending all of
my free time with some creep
that likes to steal bodies
from the morgue.
And not only does steal bodies,
but he stole my experiment!
Turns out,
Max is nothing but a thief.
And I've been wasting my time
trying to be friends with him!
And he was just
using me to figure out
how to get his
experiment to work!
And that experiment?
Has gone wrong!
And this thing that he made
is out there,
and it's dangerous,
and I feel like it-
Fiddlesticks!
Now you just sit down
and listen to me.
Sometimes you put
your trust in people,
and sometimes they make
mistakes.
Max may have made a fluff
of this, but he meant well.
And he needs your help
now more than ever.
But how?
How am I supposed to know?
I'm just a granny.
Aren't you supposed
to be the brainiac?
Don't look so glum.
I'm sure the answer will
come to you in time.
You had a long night.
Here,
have a cookie.
Hey, Grandma,
How much soap do you have?
(Merry Christmas music)
I think we better
wait a little while.
What if I can't do this?
You're not alone.
Seek others for help.
You'll need each other
now more than ever.
Wish me luck.
Good luck, sweetie.
Good luck.
(Car engine revving)
(Light music)
Hey, wassup girl.
Yep. I'm outside.
(laughs) Alright.
Fuck yeah, baby.
(Keys clang)
Almost.
(Chuckles)
Alright!
I like this.
(Gasps)
This is the best Christmas ever!
(Lights lighter)
Woah...
[Muffled]
[Muffled] Help!
[Muffled] Help!
[Muffled] No, no, no, no-
- (Tongue rip)
- (Scream)
(Spits)
(Gurgles)
- (Muffled scream)
- (Crack)
(Car skids)
[Muffled] Hey. Hey! Come
on! Take me with you!
Your breath better
not smell like shit again.
(Sniff) Ugh, you
smell like eggnog!
Whatever. Let's make this fast.
I don't want the bitch
thinking that
she's allowed back into my party
just because I'm not there.
Okay?
Now, you better do that thing
with your tongue-
(Screams) Peter?!
No, no, no,
- (muffled screams)
- Yeah Peter, get it!
No, no, no, no, no!
(Panting)
Ma'am ma'am!
Are you okay?
(Vomits)
(Screams)
(Spits) Oh.
(Screams)
This party
needs to clear out! Immediately!
Please! Please!
Everybody,
listen to me!
You're all in danger!
(Screams)
Whoa-
(Grunts)
(Crackling)
(Screams)
(Muffled party noise)
Stupid Austin!
I spent so much time on my hair.
This is what you get
for being such a pushover.
Nobody likes you
because you let them
walk all over you.
I hate you.
(Creaking)
(Kissing)
- Holy shit!
- (Gasp)
- (Laughing)
- No, Fuck! Mikayla!
Mikayla!
No, Mikayla.
Please, alright?
You have no idea
what this will do to me.
- I have a pretty good idea.
- No, no!
Mikayla!
Hey, guys!
Everybody get down!
- (Gunshot)
- (Screams)
(Gunshot)
(Gunshot)
(Muffled screams)
[Muffled] Hey! Hey!
No, Mikayla!
(Door close)
(Handcuffs jingle)
Oh, no!
(Door rattling)
(Window slams)
Shit!
Katie!
What the hell are you doing?
Get me out of here, you retard!
(Screams)
(Grunt)
(Car revving)
(Choking)
- (Snap)
- (Scream)
(Chuckles)
(Scream)
(Struggling)
(Thump)
(Screams)
Katie!
Shit!
(Door opens)
Don't move you son of a bitch?
(Closet creaks)
(Crackling)
(Growling)
Naughty.
No, no, I'm not naughty!
No, I'm nice!
(Screams)
(Handcuffs jingling)
Lose the key?
Oh, Paige!
Oh, thank God you're here.
You have to help me out here.
We have to stop him.
You're right.
But I can't let you go.
What?
Max...
Look around.
You have caused
more harm than good.
And I know that's
not what you wanted,
but I think it's
best if you stay.
No. No.
- I'm sorry, Max.
- Paige.
No, no, no. Paige, Paige.
Don't leave me!
What the hell?
- Let go, Max!
- Get back here!
(Struggle)
What is your problem?
My problem?
First, I'm handcuffed to a door.
The thing I created
is running around
out there somewhere,
and nobody's trying
to let me help him!
And I finally found you,
and you're trying
to leave me again.
I only left so I could
figure things out!
We could've
figured this out together!
Alright? I-I lost control,
but I've been humiliated,
and belittled and ignored.
And this was supposed to be
the night I changed all that.
I'm sorry, Max.
Me too.
So if I could get me
out of these handcuffs.
They hurt so bad.
Okay.
But in a few months,
if there is a killer Easter
bunny hopping around,
you're on your own.
That's fair.
Hands up, Causey.
What's that?
A little explosive for Santa.
(Pop)
(Chuckling)
I heard what we're about
to give Santa is much,
much worse than coal.
(Door creaks)
(Quiet shuffling)
(Panicked breathing)
(Body thumps)
(Gasp)
[Mouthing] Hey!
[Mouthing] Should I use this?
[Mouthing] No! No!
[Mouthing] I think
I'm gonna use this!
[Mouthing] No! Don't!
[Mouthing] Come on! One, two-
[Mouthing] Hey!
[Mouthing] Stop!
(Quiet struggling)
I could have taken him.
Why did you stop me?
Because guns won't work.
You'd only piss him off.
You! How did you
get out of those cuffs?
I got him out.
Who are you?
Paige Byers.
This is my house. Who are you?
Edgar. That's my corpse.
And that's my prisoner.
Do you know that
he took that body
- and brought it back-
- Yes, with my experiment.
Woah, woah, wait, wait.
Your rat turned into that thing?
Shut up, Austin.
We have a plan.
We just need a
little bit more time.
(Growl)
(Loud clang)
Yoo-hoo!
Hello, Mr. Claus!
(Gasp) How are you? My!
Look how strong
you've gotten, oh!
Come give me a kiss!
(Smooch)
Stand in front of me right now!
If you're near my
Mr. Claus, get away!
Get away right now!
I can't stand to have
anyone near my Mr. Claus!
(Smooches)
Come closer to me, Mr. Claus!
You should definitely slip away
unnoticed
if you're anywhere
next to my man.
Oh, my goodness.
You've gotten so big!
So absolutely
marvelously lar- Ah!
(Aggressive Grunt)
(Bell jingles)
Fuck this.
Hey!
Austin, No!
(Charging scream)
(Strike)
(Crawling)
(Struggles)
(Yelp)
Paige!
(Roar)
(Struggles)
(Choking)
Naughty!
(Wrestling)
(Choking, crying in pain)
(Screams)
(Struggling)
Now's our chance!
The cookies!
(Scream)
Max, What are you waiting for?!
He has to eat the cookie!
Use the cookie, Max!
Hey, hey! Look.
Look, Santa.
Remember?
You made this for me.
You used to make so
many more just like it
for kids everywhere.
All right?
You're not a killer!
You're...
You're a hero. You-
You have to remember.
(Clock ticking)
Santa,, you have to remember.
I...
I... remember.
(Screams)
What's happening?
It's Christmas!
(Screaming)
(Electrocuting)
(Screams)
(Punch)
(Repeatedly punching)
(Picks up axe)
(Panicked breathing)
Ho, ho, ho...
Naughty.
(Max screams)
(Paige screams)
(Crying in pain)
Santastein!
(Smashes horse)
Max. Causey.
Come and get me.
(Grunts)
No, no.
(Thunder)
Come on!
Yes!
(Screams)
- (Table splinters)
- (Screams)
(Grunts)
(Weak punches)
(Strong punch)
(Machine powering up)
(Screams in pain)
I'm sorry!
No!
(Lightning strike)
(Electricity)
[Screams] No!
(Screams)
Paige, get down!
(Yelps)
(Explosion)
(Burning)
(Coughing)
(Chuckle)
(Laughter)
You okay?
No. You?
No.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
(Thunder)
(Thunder)
(Light flickering)
(Footsteps)
(Paper scribbling)
(Thunder)
Uh...
Stan.
Hm?
I think we got another one.
(Computer clacks)
(Sigh)
Damn this job.
(Paper slams)
I'm heading to the
cadaver lab now.
Over.
Hey, uh.
Did you leave the
back door open?
Over.
I don't know.
Over.
(Door creaks)
Jesus.
Stan.
Is everything okay over there?
This room's trashed.
Somebody's been in here.
Over.
(Door opens)
(Thundering)
Okay.
Cadaver lab is clear.
I'm gonna head-
(Screams)
(Creaking)
(Screams)
Damn it!
Stan, it's the necro!
(Panting)
(Struggles)
I finally got you, you-
A kid?
(Struggles)
Look alive, Edgar!
He's getting away!
(Door Closes)
Damn it.
We are so dead!
(Car drives by)
Fuck!
(Car drives away)
(Thundering)
Good morning.
This is WKR7 news.
You're waking up today
with Becky And Rob to
some breaking news from
the Lincoln Police.
That's right.
We're getting word that
the officials have zeroed in
on a suspect
in the morgue, bandit case.
They're believing
the suspect is a local student.
Well,
it can't be good or natural.
May the lord help this boy.
Rob, how's the weather
looking today?
Well Becky, we're feeling
that cool Autumn air,
but it wasn't always
like this at this time.
No, it can't be!
It's December 24th.
I'll tell you.
I can't believe it.
It's about 12 years
since winter ended!
And all the joys of
Christmas completely gone, too.
No one can really say why Santa
stopped delivering presents,
but the joy the world once
felt has now cruelly faded away
into a cold and distant memory.
(Thundering)
Tomorrow.
It has to be tomorrow.
(Music playing)
After months of preparation,
Santa flies from house to house.
Down the chimney he goes,
delivering to both
the naughty and nice.
He's checking his list,
and he's checking it twice.
To see if a child's
been naughty or nice!
But if you were naughty,
even just once,
this evil behavior is
what Santa confronts.
To make you upset is
his ultimate goal.
So don't be surprised
if you wake up to coal.
I can't wait to see the look
on Austin and Peter's faces.
You think this is about right?
Yeah.
Okay.
They will never - careful!
Bully us ever again.
Do you think we might get on
the naughty list if we do this?
Probably, but only for a year.
Yeah.
Either that or Santa
will understand.
Now we aren't keeping
him hostage, or anything.
Yeah.
Then we'll be on it forever.
Yeah, if he ever got out.
Yeah. Let's
not hold him hostage.
Plus, he'll give us
our gifts on Christmas.
Hey, kids!
You need anything else?
No, thanks, Dad.
So, uh...
What's this all about?
What are you doing here, guys?
We're trying to prove
that Santa exists.
Oh.
Because it will be a
tremendous discovery.
Oh. Okay.
Well, good luck.
Hurry.
It's almost Christmas.
Okay, we're all set.
I feel like we're
forgetting something.
Like what?
Milk and cookies!
Of course.
My grandma
just baked this morning.
I'll run and get them.
Hurry.
(Clock ticking)
(Thudding)
(Clock Chimes)
(Rumbling)
(Dust falls)
(Chimes)
(Thudding)
(Crash)
(Struggling)
(Patting)
(Humming)
Ah!
One for Paige here...
(Mischievous music)
Hmm...
(Creaking)
Max Causey.
Shouldn't you be sleeping?
Trying to prove I
exist, are you?
Ho ho ho! Ho, ho, ho!
Mm hmm.
Clever little invention.
You and Paige have
quite the imagination!
Now off to bed.
And Merry Christmas.
Wait...
Santa!
(Trap releases)
Oh!
(Camera flashes)
Oh. Whoa, oh,
(Groaning)
(Clanging)
(Clanging)
Oh, oh!
(Stab)
(Camera flashes)
(Choking, screaming)
(Thump)
S-s...
Santa?
(Shovel hits ground)
(Thunder)
(Thunder)
(Alarm Beeping)
(Light music swells)
(Birds chirping)
(Scribbling)
(Chuckles)
(Panting)
Hey, daughter.
Do you remember what day it is?
Was?
Um, Christmas Eve.
(Sobbing)
Your mother and I
will be going out later today.
We hope the party your
little friend's throwing
will bring you the joy
that we can no longer provide.
Love you two...
(Sobs harder)
Love?
(Door slams)
Hey Max, wait up!
Oh, hey. Good morning.
Don't you mean, Merry Christmas?
Oh, wow. Already?
Mhm. Yeah.
I caught my parents having an
existential crisis this morning.
I can't believe we used to take
that holiday seriously.
Oh, hey, we used to get
that two week vacation.
That wasn't that bad.
Who has the time for vacation
when you're so busy-
Doing experiments on dead rats?
For example.
You need to get a life.
Oh, like you're so busy moping.
I also brood.
(Laughter)
So you're ready for today?
Oh, yeah.
You know,
breaking the laws of nature
in front of a classroom
of uninterested students.
Y'know, I'm stoked.
I just hope the school's
generator can handle it.
Okay, listen. Blowing out your
power was perfectly fine, so...
You're just lucky
it came back on.
Okay, listen, Paige,
the math is done.
The school's
generator will totally turn on.
I promise you it will work.
Now, the biology I cannot say...
The biology is fine.
Whatever you say. I believe you.
Max. The biology is fine!
DMT and Krampus.
That's when I realized I
was really on to something.
Dick Cheney, Vlad
Putin, Tim Allen,
Al Gore, Bigfoot.
What do all of these guys
have in common with Santa Claus?
The coal industry!
Santa is giving coal
to millions of people for free.
They have to bump him off.
They definitely push him
into a furnace.
That's how they killed
Santa Claus!
Thank you, Joseph, for that
wonderful presentation.
So our next presenters
today are going to be
Paige Byers and Max Causey.
Good morning, everybody.
For our project,
we were assigned to examine
the role that electric currents
play on living things.
For our hypothesis, we estimated
that-
This shit's boring! Do
the experiment already!
Watch your language,
Mr. Greenwald.
Paige, please continue.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
(Class groans)
Oh. What the fuck?
Watch your tongue, Peter!
We concluded that if
we generated a large
enough electrical charge,
we could give the organs in the
body some sort of jumpstart.
And if that charge started
the brain, the neurons
could possibly reconnect
with the organs,
therefore, increasing the
possibility of reanimation.
Max?
Systems are...
(Suspenseful music)
(Electricity)
Come on!
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Miss Byers!
It's stabilizing,
just give it a minute!
(Electricity intensifies)
(Cord unplugs)
Smells like shit in here!
Austin!
I will not tolerate
cursing in this classroom!
What the fuck?
Yes!
Neat magic trick.
I bet the weirdo had
another one in his backpack.
Um...
Do we call a science
board or something?
Um... A plus.
(School bell rings)
You should have seen
Newham's face when he
saw the rat was moving.
No, you should
have seen my face!
Why a rat?
Couldn't you have used
a bunny or something?
Oh, God...
No!
Max, wait up.
Paige! We still have all
these fliers to handout!
- Just a minute.
- Oh my God!
Hey!
So do you think Mr.
Newham was for real
about the science board?
I don't know, I'm still
trying to convince myself
that it even happened.
What do you think
we should name it?
Woah, Causey, man!
Looking a little light there.
Not getting enough protein
from the dick you suck?
Oh, you're so hot
when you bully!
Oh, dude! Whoa...
Yo, check this out.
Hey...
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, hey, man.
Damn, Causey.
This is some serial
killer shit right here.
He's actually got the
hand of an artist.
Oh...
Man, I didn't know you
had a bodyguard, pussy!
No, you know what? I
think it's really cute!
The retards are falling in love.
Do you guys hold hands on
the way to the short bus-
Back off, Katie.
Don't you have some
cheeseburgers to barf up?
Oh, no!
I can't believe how
disgusting that rat was.
Hi guys!
And you are?
I'm Mikayla.
We've been hanging out lately.
I'm throwing this party tonight?
I- I do your
pre-calc homework...
Oh, the smarty with
the party! Hmm...
Retro Christmas girl!
You remember the theme!
I just printed these
from the library.
Make sure you give one
to every person you see.
Every person?
No, honey,
You want to only get them out
to people that look like this!
And avoid giving them out
to people that look like...
My chess club buddies?
Not party material.
But the more people we invite,
the more will actually
show up, right?
But then it's not exclusive!
Mikayla, please.
I know what I'm doing.
Trust me.
(Indistinct shouting)
Sorry!
Move, move!
Oh, I got him! I got him!
Thank god.
For someone who just
came back from the dead,
he's pretty fast.
You think we could bring
back something bigger?
Theoretically, with
a larger charge.
But it's not like you could
bring back a person or anything.
[Distant] If I don't find this
body, my boss is gonna kill me!
You gotta help me
track down this kid-
So, anyway.
Um, If you're free tonight....
Actually, Paige, I- I gotta go.
You should totally
come to my party.
(Splat)
Found it.
But it's only 99% alcohol.
Do you think that's okay?
First time buying
big boy juice, huh?
Yeah.
You two are lifesavers.
Oh, this one says hard!
Hey...
how good do you
want this party to be?
Austin, it's exclusive.
Yeah?
You're gonna want these, then.
Listen, the drunker
the people are,
the more expensive
their taste becomes.
Of course!
You're paying, right?
I am the host.
And an excellent host you are!
All right, listen,
we're not 21, so...
you handle this? Thanks.
Yeah,
we don't want to buying this.
You know, underage and stuff.
Good luck!
Oh, but I'm also-
I'm not...
I'm throwing a party.
Shocking.
A college party.
The girls are waiting for me
back at the sorority house.
Do you have I.D.?
Do I?
- Well, do you?
- You have to let me get these!
Please.
Here, this is my last chance!
You don't understand
what it's like to be cool.
Or, well, maybe you do.
I don't know. Sorry.
I don't mean to assume that,
but you have to allow this.
Please.
They're finally talking
to me and came with me.
They're super cute,
and I can't let them down.
This party has to be
the best party ever.
Like, it's got to be really fun.
Like, really, really fun.
- Like, really, really-
- 200 dollars.
What?
200 more and it's all yours.
I don't know, that
seems kind of-
- Then, I'm sure your
friends won't mind- - Okay!
Okay...
She thinks you're cute.
Blegh. Gross.
Well, it's a pleasure
doing business with you.
Mikayla, I told you last night
that I already organized
all the supplies in the attic.
I even color coded it for you.
Organized?
You mean you haven't
even set it up yet?
I mean, I color
coded it for you...
Paige!
We've been talking
about this party for two months!
Okay, Okay.
Don't freak out, Mikayla.
If anyone can handle this...
Okay. First things first.
Help me set up
these ornament decorations.
We need to have the living room
fully furnished
before we go to class.
I'm thinking,
chips and dip on one side,
soda's on the other.
That way people are forced
to walk across the dance-
Paige!
Are you even listening?
The chips, the drinks.
Am I talking to the air here?
Ew, no. Paige, he's so greasy.
He's my friend.
I heard he skins little kittens.
And you believe that?
There's a hint of
truth to everything,
that's what Katie says!
Katie?
We've been hanging out.
You mean you've been doing
her homework for her.
Status, Paige.
It's all about status.
If I can't throw a
great party today,
it'll all have been for nothing.
Trust me...
it's going to be killer.
(Thunder)
(Mysterious Music)
(Sparks)
Please Bill, you got to
help me track down this kid.
If I can't find this body,
my boss is going to kill me!
Boss is going to kill you?
That's a murder.
Uh...
Could you describe
this potential murder?
In detail.
What?
No, you idiot.
There's no murder.
Are you listening to me?
Idiot?
I'll have you know,
we just sent an officer
to a house full of
beer guzzling teens.
That's what I call
maintaining the peace.
Where's the chief?!
What's that?
Who wants me?
What do you need?
Chief!
You're a man of reason, right?
Reason...
Try explaining
losing two cars in a divorce,
then tell me about reason.
I've been investigating
the morgue stolen body case.
The Necro. Right.
That's some weird shit.
I think I got a lead.
What, a lead? Bill!
Yes, sir.
Get me a merit badge!
That's some good work uh...
It's Edgar, sir.
Right, right, right.
That's a good police
work, Edward.
We'll make a detective
out of you yet.
Oh, thank you, sir.
But, I'm really only
here to get my body back.
(Doorbell)
- You guys!
- Hey!
You made it.
Fashionably late, of course.
Now that you guys are here,
we can finally start
our first activities.
Wait, where's Austin?
Oh, he'll come by once
things pick up a little.
Oh, but that means we have
an odd number of people...
Okay, no worries.
I could just sit out the first
few games until he gets here.
I'm sure we can totally figure
something out.
- Totally! - Come on in,
I'll show you guys around!
I took your advice and
I went with status!
The winner of tonight's
tournament-
Yo, girl!
Where's the booze at?
Well, I made some snazzy eggnog,
but there's no drinking
until after we get through
the first sharing activity.
Oh, which reminds me!
Okay, everyone,
we have enough people
to get started
on our next activity.
Paige, could you please...
Paige?
(Rat chewing)
Paige?
What are you doing up here?
Just chilling.
Chilling!?
You were supposed to be down
over an hour ago.
You haven't even
put on the outfit we picked out!
Oh, uh...
I must have lost
track of time.
Paige, please.
I need you tonight.
You said you'd support me
through this!
Isn't this my house?
Things are falling apart down
there.
We're 2 hours behind schedule,
and most of the guests
aren't even here yet. But...
I think I saw Peter smile at me.
This really is all about
status for you, isn't it?
So what if it is?
Aren't you tired of those people
stepping on you all the time?
It beats staying up here
playing with the dead rat.
Besides, I think
I really like him.
You don't even know him!
And I'm not going to
pretend to enjoy myself
just so that you can impress
the biggest bitch in school.
Fine.
Stay up here
is the biggest loser instead.
- Fine!
- Fine!
(Thunder)
(Crash)
(Rat squealing)
(Thundering)
(Ominous Music)
(Hatch Opening)
(Papers rustling)
(Machine powers on)
(Gears turn)
(Vials rattle)
(Thunder)
(Loose rattling)
(Crack)
(Yelp)
(Unspooling)
(Scream)
(Alarm)
(Straining)
(Alarm)
(Lever switches)
(Lightning)
- (Explosion)
- (Scream)
Oh. This just keeps
getting better and better.
Everyone, just hang on a minute.
Paige's generator should
be kicking on any second now.
Paige. Paige!
How long does it take before
your generator comes back to-
She must have gone to fix it.
Nobody panic!
(Thunder)
(Gasp for air)
(Bell jingles)
(Bell jingles harder)
Dammit!
Do you hear yourself, Max?
you're insane, you're
insane, I'm insane!
I've literally insane!
This...
This isn't a rat.
How the hell can anyone
expect to resurrect...
(Grunt)
Santa!
Can you stand for me?
Are you okay?
Do you understand me?
I'm Max Causey.
You've been gone a long time.
Do you...
remember anything?
Oh my god. Yes.
Yes.
Yes!
(Screams)
It's okay.
It's okay. You're okay.
All right?
It's okay!
(Thundering)
Max!
(Door slam)
Max?
(Ominous music)
(Roar)
(Scream)
Max, help!
(Cries)
Max!
Stop, stop, stop!
Stop! Stop.
Okay. Santa!
Santa, this is Paige.
This is Paige, she's our friend.
Okay?
What is that?
Okay, okay.
Paige, meet Santa!
(Thunder)
Okay...
So this is happening.
You used our experiment...
to bring back...
a person.
Paige...
A Santa person.
Max!
I didn't think it would work,
but after so
many failed attempts!
And then the
experiment at school.
The rat.
It worked!
No, no, no, Max, the rat.
He was acting really
strange before I came here.
He started acting aggressive.
I think the
experiment is unstable.
But none of that matters
now, because-
Because I brought him back.
We brought him back
with our experiment!
Max, we have
no idea what can possibly-
Where'd he go?
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Santa?
(Ominous music)
(Party murmuring)
I don't know, man.
To be honest with you,
I don't
remember anything anymore.
Which reminds me,
Have you guys seen my apple?
Peter?
Oh, hey, Katie.
What the fuck are you doing?
Just playing checkers
with my buds.
Want to join?
No, I don't
want to play the game.
Spending the night in
prison is much more fun
than hanging out
with these virgins.
Then what the hell
are we still doing here?
Because, you idiot,
It's not every weekend
you have a house
without parents in it.
And I think
I know how to change it.
Observe!
Yeah. Hm.
- I can have it?
- Yeah sure.
Got it.
Hey! Um...
Mikayla.
Mikayla! Um,
do you want to go for a walk or
something?
Are you busy?
But the games are just
getting started.
Oh, but
the games aren't going anywhere.
Why don't we have,
you know, a little girl talk?
Oh. Okay!
This is nice.
A little girl time between us.
Sure is.
Tonight has been so stressful.
Nobody ever told me throwing
a party would be this difficult.
It totally takes a
certain type of talent.
It does!
I'm sure I can do it.
I just-
Do you have any tips for me.
Oh, just one. Um,
watch your step!
Woah, Katie, what are you doing?
Oh, don't lose
your head, sweetie.
We're going
to make a few fixes in here,
and then we'll
let you back in. Okay?
No, Katie!
All right, bitches.
Now.
(Screams)
(Ominous music)
(Power shuts off)
Why?
(Twig snap)
(Scrape)
Who's there?
(Swinging)
(Screams)
(Splash)
(Splashing)
Austin!
Oh, man, you should
have seen your face.
You looked so scared.
Why are you guys doing this?
I thought you liked me.
Oh, Mikayla.
No one likes you.
Austin. Austin!
Wait, guys.
No. wait!
Austin.
You asshole!
This is Officer James.
I've just arrived
in the Sycamore neighborhood.
No signs of any teens, over.
Oh, shit.
(Brakes drag)
(Crash)
Fuck.
(Mysterious music)
Oh, look.
Where do you think
he's taking him?
I don't know.
Let's follow him.
Chief, Chief!
I hit him the cruiser.
I couldn't see anything.
I swear.
God damn, James.
Another one?
(Thump)
I was just driving
and he jumped out of nowhere.
Damn it, James,
you can't just go around
running people over.
I'm sorry.
(Groans)
Oh.
He's not people.
He's just another drunk.
False alarm.
Ugly bastard.
Everybody back to work.
Chief!
Say, Bill,
get a picture of me
with this fat fuck.
For MySpace.
- Chief!
- What?
Chief, I think that's my body.
(laughs)
All right, James,
get right in close!
What?
(Flash)
- (Growls)
- Did you get it?
I think that's my body.
- (Cheerful Christmas music)
- This is WKR7 news here,
with a throwback song
sure to break your heart!
Christmas may be dead,
- but the music allows it to
live on! - Let me see that...
- James!
- (Snap)
Naughty...
- (Gun shot)
- Oh!
(Smash)
What's all that racket?
Oh, shit.
(Slam)
(Choking)
Do it, you bastard.
You don't have the guts.
Naughty.
- (Punch)
- (Scream)
- (Slimy wriggling)
- (Choking)
(Thump)
(Whimpering)
No!
Please don't kill me!
Nice.
- (Grab)
- Oh shit!
Now listen to me...
I know you're only a rookie.
You're not very strong,
and you're not very
athletic either.
But damn it,
you're all this town has left.
Now is not the
moment for cowardice.
You go out and...
kill that bastard.
(Thumping)
(Heroic music)
(Gun clicks)
They must have taken him inside.
(Screams)
He looks angry.
Yeah, I'd be mad too.
It's just like our rat.
Santa!
Max, he's covered in blood.
Max, run!
Santa. Santa, Santa stop.
Santa, Santa, stop, stop,
stop, Santa, stop.
Stop.
It's me.
Okay, stop.
It's me.
- It's Max.
- Max...
Okay.
Yeah, Max.
There's so much we
need to go over.
You must be so confused.
But I'm here for you.
All right, let's go to the lab.
Okay.
- (Gunshot)
- (Screams in pain)
No!
(Screams)
(Gunshots)
(Screams in pain)
(Solemn music)
Max, no! It's too dangerous.
I can help him.
I just have
to help him remember.
I can't let you die
trying to help him.
Then don't!
Where are you going?
I'm going to try to find
somebody who can help us.
Damn!
Hey kid, you okay? You
You...
(Struggling)
Let go of me,
I have to find him!
I finally caught
you, you little shit.
What are you doing?
What does it
look like I'm doing?
You're not even a cop!
I'm the only cop
this town's got left.
What?!
I don't know
what kind of necro shit
you did to that body,
but there's a
killer on the loose.
And you're gonna
help me find him.
(Crowd cheering)
Let me in!
Nog me, bro!
What?
- and together...
I personally prefer bananas.
- (Screams)
- The fuck?!
We're all out of drinks!
Aw, Patricia...
Focus, okay?
Jenny's running late
getting the booze,
and I need you
to go to the store and get some.
What the fuck are
you still doing here?
Go!
(Dog barking)
(Door creaking)
(Ominous music)
No, Mr. Delgado,
I can't find the spare key.
My shift was supposed
to be over by now.
This is getting ridiculous.
(Door creaks)
Um, excuse me.
We're closed.
No, I can't find the
leather keychain.
(Bottles clang)
Give me a minute.
Listen, we're closed!
I'm going to have to ask you
to leave.
No, Mr. Delgado!
I can't stay overnight.
I'm supposed to be
meeting a hot date right now.
Look, mister,
if you don't leave now,
I'm going to have to call the-
police?
Hot date, you say?
Diego!
You know, you should really
lock that back
door now and then.
I would, I just
can't find the keys.
You mean, these keys?
(Sigh)
(Phone ringing)
North District
Police Department.
Hello?
Hello?
Ready to head
over to Katie's party?
She should have hijacked
it from that dweeb by now.
Come on, Jenny!
We finally have some privacy...
- (Growl)
- Hello?
Naughty.
Did you hear that?
No, I didn't hear anything.
No, seriously,
I think I heard something.
Babe, you're being paranoid.
I'm not being paranoid,
I think someone's in here.
(Handcuff jingling)
What took you so long?
(Car revs)
Hello?
- Is there anybody there?
- Shh!
Relax, babe.
I'm here to protect you.
So, can we move on from
this little investigation?
Okay. Mr. Protector,
you mind getting us
some protection then?
Fine.
But you better not be wearing
any clothes when I get back.
Protection...
Where the hell do they
keep this stuff?
Oh...
Mrs. Claus...
you can jingle my bells any day!
- (Distant moaning)
- Diego?
(Belt flapping)
(Scoff)
- Diego!
- (Gasp)
You douchebag!
Wait, baby, wait!
Babe, relax.
I was just warming up.
Come on babe,
what's the big deal?
I was thinking of you anyways.
What about
our romantic night in?
Romantic night?
You call beating
it to Mrs. Claus
a romantic ni-
(Stab)
(Scream)
Oh, fuck!
(Dramatic music)
(Bottles clang)
(Screams)
Hello?
Anyone here?
(Dramatic music continues)
(Gasp)
No, no!
(Scream)
(Bottle smash)
- (Muffled screaming)
- (Blood spraying)
Bye, Jenny!
(Knocking)
(Door opens)
I didn't know where else to go.
I need your help.
(Fire crackling)
So, if I have this right,
Max Causey has brought
Santa back from the dead?
Well when you put it that way...
it sounds ridiculous.
You have no idea what
you've unleashed.
His power is vast.
He spreads the cheer.
But reawakened,
he brings the fear.
A fateful night
and stormy weather.
A body stolen,
and stitched together.
Your creature is in here.
And more people are in danger!
An open hatch, a
flash of light...
(Thunder)
Okay, Edgar, please.
You don't know
what you're doing, all right?
You got to let me out of these
cuffs so I can-
Shut up!
Shut your ass up.
Don't hurt him.
No - Don't hurt him!
And the world will be
shrouded in a silent night.
The closer
we come to Christmas Day,
the more power he gains.
The more he
remembers what he once was,
the more he realizes
everything he's lost.
My dear...
you've created a monster.
What do you know about this?
(Fire crackling)
(Screams)
Well that won't do you any good.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Don't get snippy with me.
I'm not snippy.
I'm just...
frustrated.
I've been spending all of
my free time with some creep
that likes to steal bodies
from the morgue.
And not only does steal bodies,
but he stole my experiment!
Turns out,
Max is nothing but a thief.
And I've been wasting my time
trying to be friends with him!
And he was just
using me to figure out
how to get his
experiment to work!
And that experiment?
Has gone wrong!
And this thing that he made
is out there,
and it's dangerous,
and I feel like it-
Fiddlesticks!
Now you just sit down
and listen to me.
Sometimes you put
your trust in people,
and sometimes they make
mistakes.
Max may have made a fluff
of this, but he meant well.
And he needs your help
now more than ever.
But how?
How am I supposed to know?
I'm just a granny.
Aren't you supposed
to be the brainiac?
Don't look so glum.
I'm sure the answer will
come to you in time.
You had a long night.
Here,
have a cookie.
Hey, Grandma,
How much soap do you have?
(Merry Christmas music)
I think we better
wait a little while.
What if I can't do this?
You're not alone.
Seek others for help.
You'll need each other
now more than ever.
Wish me luck.
Good luck, sweetie.
Good luck.
(Car engine revving)
(Light music)
Hey, wassup girl.
Yep. I'm outside.
(laughs) Alright.
Fuck yeah, baby.
(Keys clang)
Almost.
(Chuckles)
Alright!
I like this.
(Gasps)
This is the best Christmas ever!
(Lights lighter)
Woah...
[Muffled]
[Muffled] Help!
[Muffled] Help!
[Muffled] No, no, no, no-
- (Tongue rip)
- (Scream)
(Spits)
(Gurgles)
- (Muffled scream)
- (Crack)
(Car skids)
[Muffled] Hey. Hey! Come
on! Take me with you!
Your breath better
not smell like shit again.
(Sniff) Ugh, you
smell like eggnog!
Whatever. Let's make this fast.
I don't want the bitch
thinking that
she's allowed back into my party
just because I'm not there.
Okay?
Now, you better do that thing
with your tongue-
(Screams) Peter?!
No, no, no,
- (muffled screams)
- Yeah Peter, get it!
No, no, no, no, no!
(Panting)
Ma'am ma'am!
Are you okay?
(Vomits)
(Screams)
(Spits) Oh.
(Screams)
This party
needs to clear out! Immediately!
Please! Please!
Everybody,
listen to me!
You're all in danger!
(Screams)
Whoa-
(Grunts)
(Crackling)
(Screams)
(Muffled party noise)
Stupid Austin!
I spent so much time on my hair.
This is what you get
for being such a pushover.
Nobody likes you
because you let them
walk all over you.
I hate you.
(Creaking)
(Kissing)
- Holy shit!
- (Gasp)
- (Laughing)
- No, Fuck! Mikayla!
Mikayla!
No, Mikayla.
Please, alright?
You have no idea
what this will do to me.
- I have a pretty good idea.
- No, no!
Mikayla!
Hey, guys!
Everybody get down!
- (Gunshot)
- (Screams)
(Gunshot)
(Gunshot)
(Muffled screams)
[Muffled] Hey! Hey!
No, Mikayla!
(Door close)
(Handcuffs jingle)
Oh, no!
(Door rattling)
(Window slams)
Shit!
Katie!
What the hell are you doing?
Get me out of here, you retard!
(Screams)
(Grunt)
(Car revving)
(Choking)
- (Snap)
- (Scream)
(Chuckles)
(Scream)
(Struggling)
(Thump)
(Screams)
Katie!
Shit!
(Door opens)
Don't move you son of a bitch?
(Closet creaks)
(Crackling)
(Growling)
Naughty.
No, no, I'm not naughty!
No, I'm nice!
(Screams)
(Handcuffs jingling)
Lose the key?
Oh, Paige!
Oh, thank God you're here.
You have to help me out here.
We have to stop him.
You're right.
But I can't let you go.
What?
Max...
Look around.
You have caused
more harm than good.
And I know that's
not what you wanted,
but I think it's
best if you stay.
No. No.
- I'm sorry, Max.
- Paige.
No, no, no. Paige, Paige.
Don't leave me!
What the hell?
- Let go, Max!
- Get back here!
(Struggle)
What is your problem?
My problem?
First, I'm handcuffed to a door.
The thing I created
is running around
out there somewhere,
and nobody's trying
to let me help him!
And I finally found you,
and you're trying
to leave me again.
I only left so I could
figure things out!
We could've
figured this out together!
Alright? I-I lost control,
but I've been humiliated,
and belittled and ignored.
And this was supposed to be
the night I changed all that.
I'm sorry, Max.
Me too.
So if I could get me
out of these handcuffs.
They hurt so bad.
Okay.
But in a few months,
if there is a killer Easter
bunny hopping around,
you're on your own.
That's fair.
Hands up, Causey.
What's that?
A little explosive for Santa.
(Pop)
(Chuckling)
I heard what we're about
to give Santa is much,
much worse than coal.
(Door creaks)
(Quiet shuffling)
(Panicked breathing)
(Body thumps)
(Gasp)
[Mouthing] Hey!
[Mouthing] Should I use this?
[Mouthing] No! No!
[Mouthing] I think
I'm gonna use this!
[Mouthing] No! Don't!
[Mouthing] Come on! One, two-
[Mouthing] Hey!
[Mouthing] Stop!
(Quiet struggling)
I could have taken him.
Why did you stop me?
Because guns won't work.
You'd only piss him off.
You! How did you
get out of those cuffs?
I got him out.
Who are you?
Paige Byers.
This is my house. Who are you?
Edgar. That's my corpse.
And that's my prisoner.
Do you know that
he took that body
- and brought it back-
- Yes, with my experiment.
Woah, woah, wait, wait.
Your rat turned into that thing?
Shut up, Austin.
We have a plan.
We just need a
little bit more time.
(Growl)
(Loud clang)
Yoo-hoo!
Hello, Mr. Claus!
(Gasp) How are you? My!
Look how strong
you've gotten, oh!
Come give me a kiss!
(Smooch)
Stand in front of me right now!
If you're near my
Mr. Claus, get away!
Get away right now!
I can't stand to have
anyone near my Mr. Claus!
(Smooches)
Come closer to me, Mr. Claus!
You should definitely slip away
unnoticed
if you're anywhere
next to my man.
Oh, my goodness.
You've gotten so big!
So absolutely
marvelously lar- Ah!
(Aggressive Grunt)
(Bell jingles)
Fuck this.
Hey!
Austin, No!
(Charging scream)
(Strike)
(Crawling)
(Struggles)
(Yelp)
Paige!
(Roar)
(Struggles)
(Choking)
Naughty!
(Wrestling)
(Choking, crying in pain)
(Screams)
(Struggling)
Now's our chance!
The cookies!
(Scream)
Max, What are you waiting for?!
He has to eat the cookie!
Use the cookie, Max!
Hey, hey! Look.
Look, Santa.
Remember?
You made this for me.
You used to make so
many more just like it
for kids everywhere.
All right?
You're not a killer!
You're...
You're a hero. You-
You have to remember.
(Clock ticking)
Santa,, you have to remember.
I...
I... remember.
(Screams)
What's happening?
It's Christmas!
(Screaming)
(Electrocuting)
(Screams)
(Punch)
(Repeatedly punching)
(Picks up axe)
(Panicked breathing)
Ho, ho, ho...
Naughty.
(Max screams)
(Paige screams)
(Crying in pain)
Santastein!
(Smashes horse)
Max. Causey.
Come and get me.
(Grunts)
No, no.
(Thunder)
Come on!
Yes!
(Screams)
- (Table splinters)
- (Screams)
(Grunts)
(Weak punches)
(Strong punch)
(Machine powering up)
(Screams in pain)
I'm sorry!
No!
(Lightning strike)
(Electricity)
[Screams] No!
(Screams)
Paige, get down!
(Yelps)
(Explosion)
(Burning)
(Coughing)
(Chuckle)
(Laughter)
You okay?
No. You?
No.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.