Say Cheese (2026) Movie Script

(gentle music)
(triumphant music)
Join in
Break away these chains
That hold you down
(flames crackling)
(thunder crashing)
(brooding ambient music)
(thunder crashing)
(brooding music)
(fireworks blasting)
[Jeff] Did you get some soup here?
[Crystal] I did.
[Jeff] Yes.
I'm so glad that my new job's working out.
We can move here
and lot's been going on,
you know what I mean?
[Crystal] No, I'm so
happy it worked out.
Yeah.
[Crystal] This is our first
meal in our new apartment.
Yeah.
So happy we're not out there
with all those drunk weirdos.
- Yeah.
- Watching the ball drop.
It's just-
It would be fun.
But anyhow. I know, yeah.
This is nice.
Yeah. I've been working
a lot every single day
and this new job's nice,
but they have me like pushing
papers and stuff around a lot,
and I feel like I'm just the guy from like
the uh, the mail room,
you know what I mean?
Not quite
I was a...
A person that I could kind of reach
and I could talk to
everybody at the other place,
you know what I mean?
- [Crystal] Mhm.
- Kind of in a room
by myself.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm sure it'll get
better over time, you know?
- Yeah.
- Just gonna take
some time to adapt.
Yeah. I'm sure, you know,
but um, I don't know.
Um,
how's your mother?
Um, she's okay.
She's, you know,
she's kind of going through
some health issues right now,
but she's getting better.
She's getting the care she needs,
so it's just gonna take some time, but
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I've met
your mother obviously,
but you haven't met my father.
I know, I haven't.
- No.
- It's so crazy.
He's probably out hunting right now,
'cause that's all he does.
(Crystal laughing)
In the middle of below zero weather.
I don't know how he does
that. It is freezing out there.
He's just like, "Son, you gotta go hunt."
You know what I mean?
You gotta go stock up on
your stuff for the winter
so you can eat and provide."
(Crystal laughing)
I'm like, you know, we're here in the city
and everyone's having fun, you know.
But anyways, the soup's
good. Did you make it?
I did. Yeah. You like it?
It's veal.
Hmm. Yeah.
(Crystal giggling)
It tastes good.
Thank you.
I know, actually it came out really good.
- [Jeff] Hmm.
- [Crystal] Hmm.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Maybe it could be like a
weekly thing, you know?
Veal?
Yeah.
Honestly, I've never had it before.
- Really?
- Yeah. It's the first time.
I guess it's, I'll just
leave that in your hands.
I don't cook, so.
I know. (Chuckling)
I microwave at work's
what I do. (Chuckling)
But, yeah.
[Crystal] Hmm.
(Jeff sighs)
I'm just a little nervous, that's all.
I've never lived in a
place besides by myself.
So moving in together is a big step.
Yeah. Well, there's a first
for everything, you know?
- Yeah.
- I think it'll be
really great for the both of us.
(Jeff clearing throat)
Don't be so nervous. It's gonna be fine.
I can't help it. (Laughing)
How was your shopping the other day?
Oh, it was really cool.
There are a lot of really
amazing garage sales
around the city.
Oh my goodness.
Garage sales?
- Yeah.
- Like stump sales,
like peoples' stoops?
Yeah. You know, I mean,
you never know what you're gonna find.
People have like, the craziest stuff.
Do we have the extra money
to shop that much though?
I mean, garage sales
aren't really that pricey.
Did you find anything?
I did.
I found something really cool.
You wanna see it?
Sure.
(Crystal laughing)
(Jeff chuckling)
Okay.
Look at this.
It's like this really old camera
from like (Jeff clears throat)
The 1980s. Yeah.
Yeah. I thought it was so cool.
So the guy at the garage sale
says that there's like a
There's tape and new paint on it.
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's old,
like we just said, it's from the eighties.
He probably tried to restore
it or something, you know,
so it could work, (laughing)
But like, there's a chip in it
and he says that's what holds the image.
And so once the camera's storage is full,
you can just pop that right out
and put it into your computer's SD drive.
Oh. It has to be full?
Yeah.
I've never seen
anything like this before.
I know. It's so retro.
(camera whirring)
- Oh, I know.
- Love it.
Yeah.
- Is that a thing
that you just take pictures?
- Yeah. You're just like-
- Just when you wanna
You know, like...
(camera clicks, whirs and snaps)
Okay. What, you don't like pictures?
No, it's okay.
You didn't have to take the picture,
but that's, that's okay.
You took it anyways. You went there.
Yes.
I thought it could be really nice.
Right.
Is this gonna be part every week thing?
Yeah. I mean, wouldn't
that be really nice?
Yeah.
Are you okay?
Yeah. I'm, I'm just gonna go
I I'll be right
I'll be right back. Do you want more soup?
- No.
- [Jeff] Okay. I'll just go
Not right now.
[Jeff] Yeah.
(Jeff coughing)
- You good?
(Jeff coughs)
So, you know Rebecca's birthday
party is coming up, right?
[Jeff] Mm.
Well, I'm trying to
figure out what to get her.
I don't know.
She gave me like this really
great gift for Christmas
and I just like, I feel like
I need to give her something
really good, you know?
Um, ah.
Remember that gift that we got her?
Oh, wow. That was so
Oh my god, I don't know if
I can match that though.
That was so good.
I don't remember.
You know, the gift that
we got her from both of us?
For her and her husband?
- Are you okay?
- I don't remember anything.
Hey, you know, she
has a baby on the way.
Can you believe that?
I feel like it was just so quick.
But, I mean, hey,
all the more power to her, I guess.
[Jeff] Maybe.
Yeah. I mean, I think they'll, yeah,
have a really good family.
Mm.
That's true.
This is so good.
It's true.
It is good. It's the second week of
What'd you say it was?
Veal soup, honey.
The same time every week,
you wanted to have it, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I'm starting to remember again.
How was work? How was work?
- Oh no.
- Is it getting better?
Not really.
No. What do you mean?
The same every week.
Did they like the present I got you?
Did the guys say anything about it?
No.
Really?
No.
Wow. That's crazy.
I mean, I feel like most
guys would love to have that.
You know?
They didn't say anything.
I haven't talked to anybody
in a week, except for you.
You haven't talked to anyone at work?
No. I told you, I'm
in a room by myself now.
Probably better off that way.
Okay. Well,
it's week two in our new apartment,
and we have this lovely camera
and you know, I think we should
We should use it, Jeff.
- Ugh.
(camera whirring)
Come on. You look so handsome.
I do?
Yes. I love that shirt on you.
(Jeff clears throat)
Okay.
Okay. Ready?
[Jeff] Mhm.
Okay.
So.
(camera clicks and whirs)
(Crystal chuckles)
Yay.
- Ugh.
- It's gonna be so nice
to look back on all these photos one day.
[Jeff] Someday, you know?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
It'll be okay.
It'll be okay, I think.
I just gotta get through this week.
Okay, well,
well, I'm sure everything's gonna
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
It's...
Okay.
I'm fine.
(brooding ambient music)
(sound effect screeching)
(upbeat music)
Salt pepper shaker.
Okay. Yeah, no worries.
(Jeff coughing)
Ugh.
You okay, Jeff?
I mean, you haven't said a word
since you got home from work.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Are you sick or depressed or something?
Not sick. Not depressed.
Okay. Well, something's off
because you've been really distant lately
and I mean, you kinda look like death.
(Jeff sighs)
Just, you missed work twice this week.
I don't know what to tell you.
I don't know.
I just,
this like, I can't taste anything.
Did you make this differently somehow?
No, Jeff, it's the same as,
I mean, it's the same
as it's been every week.
It doesn't, it doesn't
even look the same.
It's, it's the same, Jeff.
(Crystal chuckles)
It's the same soup I've been
making for the past few weeks.
(Jeff grunts and coughs)
Okay.
Okay well,
I've been looking over the bills
and it's really not looking good,
especially if you're gonna be missing
this much work next week.
I mean, I really think that
we need to figure this out.
Something's-
It will be fine.
Something's wrong.
And we can't, we can't keep doing this.
We just, we just got into this place
and I don't wanna lose it, you know?
We won't lose it, okay?
It'll be fine.
Just, I'll-
Okay.
I'll be okay. Just next week, we'll see.
Okay?
My boss said he, I dunno,
he said don't worry about it,
he'll cover it to the end of the month.
So, well, whatever this is,
it'll be fine.
Okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Fine.
Well,
it's that time then.
You ready?
Ugh.
Say cheese.
(camera whirs and clicks)
Open the door!
(brooding music)
Ugh.
I hope you got that,
'cause I, I don't
Maybe I don't feel good. I don't know.
Maybe I just feel
(fists slam)
I don't know. I just can't handle it.
I don't, I don't know.
Did I do something?
Jeff.
(brooding music continues)
(Jeff sighs)
(Jeff coughing)
Jeff.
What?
Okay?
(Crystal sighs)
Listen. You really need to see a doctor.
You do not look good.
(Jeff sighs)
I'm not going to a doctor.
Come on.
I'm really worried about you.
You just keep getting worse.
I...
I'll be fine.
You've been saying that for weeks.
I don't want to see a doctor. Okay?
I don't wanna see a doctor. I
don't wanna go to the doctor.
I'm just gonna go to work.
That's all I'm gonna do.
(brooding music continues)
Aren't you gonna take a picture this week?
Huh?
I think that's really all we care about.
You wanna savor this moment?
Not really.
- Here.
I don't wanna remember you like this.
Let me take one for you.
(camera whirs and clicks)
He's dying. What am I supposed to do?
Take it.
Take it. Ah!
(brooding music)
You're spilling everywhere.
I just want to eat.
(sound effect screeching)
Jeff, I think you have COVID.
I called the doctor and
they're saying it's really bad.
Like people are in the hospital
and you have all the symptoms.
(Jeff retches)
- Ah!
- Oh my
Okay, listen, listen Jeff,
I love you, okay?
I've been taking care of you
and I've been seeing this
and it's really bad and
it's really scaring me.
And I really...
Oh my gosh, Jeff,
we,
we can't even take you to
the hospital because of this.
(Crystal sighs)
I don't know.
This is, this is really bad. Okay?
I, I, I thought it was me
or that you had just had
the flu or something,
but it's this, it's this damn virus.
I mean, have you seen outside?
It's like a ghost town.
People are dying from this and
- I just-
- Look, and it's
killing you, Jeff.
I just want to eat. Okay?
But you haven't eaten all week.
Listen, you just,
you need to rest up, okay?
And just, and really, really...
I won't even do anything.
(Crystal sighs)
It's okay.
I really, I don't wanna
remember this moment,
but I,
we haven't even taken
our weekly picture and
(Jeff laughing)
You wanna take a picture?
Go ahead.
Take the picture, 'cause
that's all you care about.
Go ahead.
In sickness and in health.
Yeah, go ahead.
Ready?
(camera whirs and clicks)
(Jeff grunts)
(Jeff coughing)
(brooding music)
(Jeff coughing)
[Dispatcher] Hello?
Yes, hi. I, I, I need an ambu
I need an ambulance to come to my address.
My, my boyfriend is, is, is
puking up blood right now.
What do you mean we're on lockdown?
He, he's dying.
What do you mean you
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
I-
He's dying. What am I supposed to do?
(Jeff retches and coughs)
That doesn't make any
sense. I don't get it.
So, so I'm just supposed to let him die?
(Jeff grunting)
(brooding music continues)
(ambient music)
(Jeff yells)
(crowbar clunks)
(Jeff grunts)
What are you doing, Jeff?
(camera clicks and whirs)
Ugh.
On.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Why don't you eat your food?
(Crystal sighs)
I just need a minute.
(brooding ambient music)
(fireworks blasting)
(water pitter-pattering)
(water pitter-pattering)
Crystal.
Oh, great.
Open the door.
(knuckles rapping)
Are you okay?
You've been in there like 50 minutes.
(knuckles rapping)
The water's running.
Open the door.
(knuckles rapping)
Open the door.
Open the door!
(sound effect blams)
(sinister piano music)
(water pitter-pattering)
(sound effect screeches)
(sound effect screeches)
(camera clicks and whirs)
Live the pain that's inside you.
Unleash the pain that's inside you.
This is who you are.
(eerie music)
(sound effect blams)
(cheerful Christmas music)
Christmas is coming
[Mindy] What is this?
(camera whirring)
(knuckles rapping)
(knuckles rapping)
(knuckles rapping)
(knuckles rapping)
Oh, hey Sunny, come on in.
Hey. Hope I didn't startle you.
Oh, no, no. You're okay.
Is it an alright time?
[Mindy] Yeah.
I was just uh, you know,
we've been a little worried about you.
Nobody's seen you in quite a while.
We got the Christmas party coming up.
Just making sure you're okay.
Yeah, no, I'm fine.
I've just been doing my work and stuff.
Okay. All right.
Well, you know,
we got cousins, grandkids,
everybody coming.
I think some kids you haven't
even met at this point.
John's making his peach cobblers.
And I mean, we're just,
we're talking about you.
We've been thinking about you.
I appreciate that.
You never seem to come outside anymore.
Well, I...
So do you think you're gonna make it
to the Christmas party this year, or
I'm just gonna do some light reading.
You know, you shouldn't be reading
all that murder and death stuff.
I mean, that happens to
real people, you know.
You sound like Grammy.
I know. Speaking of Grammy,
she's saying just like
every year, you know,
this could be her last Christmas
with everyone together.
It means a lot to her that you come.
I'm just gonna stay here. Um.
It's gonna be a nice Christmas.
[Sunny] All right, well,
we're gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you guys too, but
All right. Well, think
about it, all right?
- [Mindy] Well, yeah.
- We'd all love to see you.
I'll miss you guys,
but I'm fine, really.
[Sunny] Alright, well, I'll
get outta your hair then.
All right, Sunny.
[Sunny] Good to see you, Mindy.
You too.
Hey, think about it, all right?
I will, it's good.
(laid-back music)
Oh.
Oh.
Hi Ronnie.
I got your mystery package here. Um...
Good ol' buddy.
You're so thoughtful.
I was wondering what kind of dumb gift
you'd give me this year.
I don't know, Mindy.
I didn't send you anything.
You didn't mail or drop off and wrap
a Christmas gift for me?
Yeah.
I wasn't gonna tell you anything,
but I kind of spent a lot of
money on new hunting gear.
You know, big bucks for big bucks.
Oh.
Well, you give me something every year.
I mean, (chuckling)
I could see you spending it on that,
but just figured.
I didn't get the bonus this year.
Those stupid eggheads.
They think they're so high
and mighty on their high horse
while we working men make minimum.
I mean, it's a steady job.
I can work from home and take
orders for music equipment.
You know, I love music here.
At least I know what I'm
selling, and it's all legal,
right Ronnie?
Shoo.
It's all good, Mindy.
Know I can take care of you.
It's all good. I'm willing to provide.
True that, true that, Mindy.
True that.
Now if you didn't send
me this, then who did?
I mean, I had a few blind dates.
I didn't end up going to
one because of an emergency,
but strange thing is that that guy,
John, Jimmy,
Jarred, I think his name was.
Yeah, he ended up killing himself. Um.
I think the camera was in
one of the crime scene videos
that got leaked online.
I don't know, Mindy.
I'm sure it's nothing. It's fine.
But I gotta say,
I gotta get ready to go
do my big hunting trip.
I gotta go get that big buck.
But you tell Uncle John,
I hope he has a Merry Christmas,
and I hope, and I pray to God
that he does not get remarried
for the seventh time.
Yeah, she's relentless.
I- (chuckling)
As we all know too darn well
that she's only here for the money.
That prick.
I agree. It would be like
his fourth wife at this point
that he's married off to by New Year's.
I mean, at least it
keeps him happy, right?
Merry Christmas, Mindy.
Bye Ronnie.
(brooding ambient music)
(sound effect whooshes)
(sound effect echoing)
(brooding music)
(knuckles rapping)
Mindy, it's Ronnie.
Where you at, girl?
(knuckles rapping)
Mindy.
Come on, it's freezing out here.
Where you at?
(Ronnie muttering)
Huh?
(brooding ambient music)
What the
Why's it so dark in here?
How can anybody just see?
Hello?
Hello?
What the
(object bangs)
(object banging)
What
What
(object bangs)
(eerie music)
[Jeff] Say cheese.
(camera whirs and clicks)
Are you
What the heck was that?
Are you serious?
I can't, I don't do pranks.
I'm out.
What time is it?
Oh shit. I'm late for work.
(brooding music)
(chilling music)
(brooding music)
(cheerful Christmas music)
Thank you for calling Music R Us.
How can I help you?
Christmas time
(gentle carol music)
- Yup, I can get that out
and delivered for you around next week.
Um. It'll be a little bit more difficult
because of the holiday season, so...
Mhm.
Mhm.
Yes, I understand,
but there's not really
much we can do about that.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Yip.
Yup. I understand,
you're a valid customer.
(microwave beeps)
Unfortunately, there's nothing
we can do really about that.
Yeah, no.
No sir, please. I really need this sale.
It's Christmas.
No.
Okay. Well, have a very
merry rocking Christmas Eve.
(gentle carol music continues)
I hate people.
I mean, this is only gift I have,
so might as well have some fun.
(camera whirring)
(camera clicks)
(brooding ambient music)
Damn dinosaur.
I think I'll just donate it to Goodwill.
(brooding ambient music continues)
Merry rocking Christmas to you.
No, sir. We, we can't do that.
I have already explained this to you,
that it takes express shipping
in order to get things on Christmas Day.
I already told you that we can't do that
unless you pay up front.
(gentle carol music)
Listen, sir...
You bought a $2,000 microphone,
but you can't pay express
shipping up front?
(gentle carol music continues)
Well how is that my problem!?
(Mindy retching and hyperventilating)
(eerie music)
(Mindy coughing)
(gentle carol music)
What's happening to me?
(eerie music)
(Mindy coughs)
(Mindy gasping)
(eerie music)
(gentle carol music)
(eerie music)
(eerie music)
(sound effect screeches)
(gore squelching)
(eerie music)
(gentle carol music)
(blood splashing)
(person cries out)
All hail the Christmas tree entrancing
All hail the Christmas cheer
All hail the glad New Year
Oh sing it loud and clear, rejoicing
Then loud the carols ring
Then glad the children sing
The Christmas spirit sweetly voicing
(gentle carol music continues)
(knuckles rapping)
Hey Mindy.
Merry Christmas.
(brooding music)
(Sunny gasps)
Live the pain that's inside you.
This shall only release
the darkness that you wish.
It cannot be tamed.
It cannot be stopped.
(eerie music)
(eerie music)
(dog barking)
(crickets chirping)
Oh, hey, Mindy.
Are you ready for
Valentine's Day tomorrow?
It's going to be absolutely lovely.
Oh, heck yeah, I am.
I'm excited for our first date.
Yeah, I'm a little nervous
for the first time, to be honest,
but it's, it's been a long time coming.
I mean, we've been chatting
in our book club for months.
I mean, people are gonna start to talk.
Yeah, that's a good thing, I suppose
to declare we're,
we're gonna be going
public as a couple soon.
You know, let 'em all know.
I'm sure Kyle will have
something to say about that.
He's always got something negative to say.
Don't listen to him or
what anybody else has to say.
I think you should just be you.
I think it's cute.
Thanks, Mindy.
This is gonna be the best
Valentine's Day I've ever had.
I just know it.
Aw, you're so sweet, Jarred.
I appreciate the invite.
I'll see you soon.
See you very soon, in fact.
(Mindy chuckling)
I'll have everything ready.
I'm sure you will. (Chuckling)
Okay, bye.
Take care.
(sound effect whooshing)
(brooding ambient music)
Come on, come on.
(Jarred sighs)
(Jarred sighs)
(sound effect hissing)
(brooding ambient music continues)
(Jarred sighs)
(eerie music)
(brooding ambient music)
(phone dialing)
Where are you?
Hey Mindy, it's Jarred.
You know, it's, I guess,
you know, it's all right
to be fashionably late.
It's only been an hour.
Just, just waiting.
It's okay. Just, but just take your time.
Don't, don't you
You just be safe coming over, okay?
I'm here.
Hope to see you soon.
(brooding ambient music continues)
(phone dialing)
Yeah, man. She's, she's not here.
Yeah, I know. I, I, I
called her a bunch of times.
All I got was voicemail.
Yeah, I don't know. She
I worry something
might've happened to her.
Maybe she had car trouble or something.
She, she just isn't
here, I know that much.
I, I know, but, but she's not here, okay?
I just, she's not here. All right?
Sorry to be so mad,
but it's, I don't want it to happen again.
And she's not here!
Damn it!
(chilling music)
(brooding music)
What...
Is this thing?
(suspenseful ambient music)
Where did this come from?
(camera whirring)
Hey, man. Did you prank
me? I'm not in the mood.
Look, Mindy's still not here.
I thought she showed up,
but when this camera just
showed up on my doorstep
and it wasn't her, it
just randomly showed up,
whatever the hell this thing is.
Look, she's not here
and I don't know when or if
ever she's gonna be here.
And...
It's just this eighties camera is all that
showed up in my day.
(camera clicks)
I don't know. It, it's a piece of junk.
(sound effect blams)
Ah! Ah!
Listen to me.
If you had anything to do with this,
I will let the boss know
you've been sleeping with Sandy
and you will lose your job.
You will lose everything.
You understand me?
Fine.
Come on over.
(brooding music)
Where is she?
I am the keeper of the essence of evil
that feeds the darkness inside you.
Who is this?
It chooses who it wants to choose.
Fight it and you will die.
No!
Now take it upon yourself
to unleash this pain.
What? N
I live with this pain every day
that I'm nothing and no one will have me.
I live and I survive.
Release the pain, Jarred.
Join it.
All will be revealed.
She shall join you soon.
(breath whooshing)
(brooding music)
[Jarred] It's okay.
(Jarred exclaiming)
(knuckles rapping)
(knuckles rapping)
[Friend] Hey, are you okay?
I'm sorry for what I said on the phone.
- You!
- [Friend] Whoa. Hey.
You are gonna pay.
(sound effect blams)
For everything!
(eerie music)
(body slamming and thudding)
(camera clicks)
(brooding ambient music)
(friend breathing heavily)
(brooding music)
[Friend] No!
(friend screaming)
(friend screaming)
(brooding music continues)
(friend screaming)
(gore crunching)
You cannot stop what
has existed for centuries,
ever.
(Jarred chuckling)
(brooding music)
No, no no no.
No.
No, no.
No!
(Jarred exclaiming)
(sound effect blams)
What did I just do?
(brooding music continues)
(sound effect blams)
Why? I don't know why.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
I don't know why!
Oh, hey, Mindy.
Are you ready for
Valentine's Day tomorrow?
(knife klings)
(brooding music)
(sound effect blams)
(gentle acoustic guitar music)
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child
Holy
(sound effect blams)
(camera clicks)
(camera clicking)
(laid-back music)
[Jim] Hey, thanks for coming.
I'm pretty much all set up here.
[CEO] Yeah, well, you better be, Jim.
I'm paying by the hour
and it's a holiday, so.
[Jim] Ah, yes sir.
I'm not charging you my setup fee
because you know, it's Labor Day
and I'm giving you a special price.
I've been setting these lights up all day,
and I really wanna thank you
for giving me this opportunity
to photograph your entire company.
Um, these photographs
are gonna come out great.
You're gonna love it.
[CEO] Yeah. What'd you
say your name was again?
[Jim] Jim.
[CEO] Well, Jim, we
had to hire somebody.
And just remember, time is money.
(laid-back music continues)
You know, it is Labor Day
and I'm giving you the
best package that I can.
I'm gonna be taking pictures
of your entire staff.
It's gonna come out great.
You're gonna love it.
Yeah. Well, these shots
need to turn out great.
And I'm talking topnotch,
not some social media
selfie type of stuff.
This is my new company and I'm the CEO.
So there's a lot at
stake. Do you understand?
Ah, yes, sir.
Um, I'm just gonna take a couple
straight-on still shots
here to test the lighting.
Test the lighting? You
said you were already set up.
Time is money, my friend.
How many times do I have to repeat myself?
Well, it's just something standard
that we do for everybody.
Um, we gotta,
everybody's skin tone comes
out a little bit different
under the lighting.
We just wanna make sure you're
not gonna turn out blue.
I pay you, you take the photos.
You got it?
Uh, yes sir. Got it.
(laid-back music continues)
(camera clicks)
(camera clicks)
(camera clicks)
(laid-back music continues)
(camera clicks)
(camera clicks)
(camera clicking)
(camera clicks)
(laid-back music continues)
What is that?
This is an old eighties-style camera.
We're gonna use it to get
some nice vintage look
for your pictures.
It's gonna look great after
the digital rendering.
You know, you're gonna love it.
Oh my God, just take the photos.
Our time is almost up here.
You know, being a successful
businessman isn't easy.
It's really not for everybody.
It's only for the alpha
dogs, the top dogs.
You know what I mean, Jeff?
See, you're doing this job right here.
How much you make a year?
20, 40k tops?
Well, if you put in the work,
and I don't know if you are
willing to put in the work,
but you can get somewhere in life.
And if you get there,
the benefits are great.
You can have anything you want.
Fast cars, fast women, nice house.
Hell, you could have
a house in Boca Raton.
You could have one in Jamaica.
You can have one anywhere you want,
but are you willing to work for it?
That's the big question.
I had to work for everything I had.
Nothing was given to me.
You understand, Jeremy?
Now let's go ahead and
get these shots done.
Wasting my time at this point.
(camera whirring)
Say cheese.
Dick.
(camera clicks)
(brooding ambient music)
All right. It's gonna
take me a couple weeks
to get these shots
processed and out to you.
If you want, for a couple
hundred dollars extra,
I can, you know, put a rush on it,
get 'em out to you in a few days.
Does that sound okay?
(brooding ambient music continues)
Does that sound okay?
Sir?
(CEO mumbling)
Do you need me to call 9-1-1?
(eerie ambient music)
(CEO mumbling)
(eerie music)
(dispatcher speaking indistinctly)
(sirens wailing)
(dispatcher speaking indistinctly)
(sirens wailing)
(helicopter rotors whirring)
(eerie ambient music)
Hi, how you doing? Thanks for having me.
My name is Barney.
Did something happen here?
Did someone just die here?
Please just have a seat.
You know, I'm sorry, I
just can't even really des
Descr
I'm just, I...
Sorry, I'm just a little
out of it right now.
I'm gonna take your picture,
so just look at the camera.
Say cheese.
Cheese.
(person screams)
You know, we're just, I,
I just, I, I, I can't do this today.
We have to reschedule,
so we'll just, we'll do this another time.
(sound effect whooshing)
I'm not gonna get what I want today.
You know, I really wanted this to work.
Last time I buy something
from a thrift shop.
(camera whirs and clicks)
(eerie music)
(eerie music)
(camera whirs and clicks)
(fists slam)
Hey, it's Andy from Unsigned 518.
Thanks for tuning in.
I got a weird story for you.
Uh, there's this old
camera from the eighties,
and all of its owners apparently
end up dead or missing.
It's one of those old like
analog-styled cameras or,
but anyway, like really,
really weird story.
Hello, listeners out there.
This is your host, Robert Harmon
and this is Tales of the Unknown.
I bring you stories of mystery.
The inexplicable, the fantastical.
(eerie music continues)
Well, anyhow, I came across
the story of this small camera,
a small unassuming Polaroid camera.
You know, the kind from the 1970s and 80s
where you press a button and
the photo comes out instant,
like a Xerox.
Well, anyhow, somebody
found the camera secondhand
at a garage sale or somewhere or another,
and that person soon disappeared.
What's even more striking
is that a second person got
a hold of the same camera
and they disappeared as well.
And there's possibly a
third, fourth, and fifth.
This is down our alley, listeners.
More to follow as I investigate the leads.
(eerie music continues)
(sound effect crackling)
What's scaring you today?
I'm Lana Del Fear,
and this is the podcast update for today.
Interestingly enough,
an ancient eighties camera's
being swapped around
with its owners winding up dead.
It's on several podcast feeds.
It's something that needs
further investigation.
Welcome all you internet
trolls to Death Do Us Part
with your host, Lady Torrance.
Now I wanna thank you for
tuning into our hugest episode.
For this episode, I've come across
news of an eighties camera
passed around by owners
that are missing and dead.
Dum-da-da.
(dark ambient music)
Now this camera isn't
showing up out of thin air.
It's being moved around and taken care of
by someone, I guess.
My guess, I mean,
cameras don't grow legs, guys, come on.
(dark ambient music continues)
(sound effect crackling)
Um, because of copyright
reasons from the network,
we can't show this camera.
(sound effect buzzing)
I'm gonna put it to the test
and take a picture with it anyways.
Rad. Okay.
No, right? Let's see.
Okay, here we go.
Say cheese.
(camera clicks)
(sound effect buzzing)
(dark ambient music continues)
(Lady Torrance coughing)
(brooding music)
(Lady Torrance coughing)
(sound effect blams)
(body thuds)
(ambient music)
(door creaking)
Yo.
Sh. Don't be loud.
Sh!
[Annie] It's dark in here.
Good thing I brought my
little buddy over here.
Yup.
- All right.
All righty. You ready?
Yeah.
Howdy do, da internet.
It's me, ya boy, Cassie and Annie
and we're here investigating
a New York City haunted apartment.
Apparently a lot of murders and mysteries
have gone on in here,
which is pretty kind of crazy.
Um, so we're kinda here investigating.
Apparently there's some
sort of like lost object
or something of the sort.
- Yeah.
Honestly, to me, sounds
like a whole lot of crap.
But uh, I guess we're gonna
figure this out. (Laughing)
But, so yeah,
let's figure out if this
place is haunt or not.
[Both] Yeah!
(dark ambient music)
[Cassie] Okay.
It's kinda dark in here
for like a New York City apartment.
[Annie] Yeah. Oh, hey. Check this out.
[Cassie] Huh. Swanky bathroom.
Looks like it doesn't turn on anymore.
I don't think anyone's
been here in a while.
[Cassie] Really?
Yeah.
Oh, hey, I think I'm getting something.
- [Cassie] Really? Where?
- Yeah,
I think it's coming from the hallway.
(device whirring)
Hmm.
- [Cassie] Let's go
investigate.
(dark ambient music continues)
It's weird.
It's like still fully
like furnished and stuff.
[Annie] Yeah.
[Cassie] You would've thought like
people would've gotten into it
[Annie] Oh, it's getting stronger.
Annie?
(Cassie sighs)
Not this again.
Whatever.
(Cassie gasps)
What was that?
(door slams)
Oh. (Laughing)
What am I doing? (Laughing)
Annie?
Annie?
Funny, Annie. (Giggling)
(Annie exclaims)
(Cassie exclaims)
(Annie laughing)
Don't do that ever again.
[Annie] What?
Please.
[Annie] It was funny.
Annie. (Laughing)
Come on. It's what the camera wants.
It's what the audience
wants. It's entertaining.
(sound effect echoing)
What?
[Cassie] I don't mean to alarm you,
but the Christmas lights just turned on.
[Annie] What?
Christmas lights just
turned on. (Chuckling)
(sound effect crackling)
[Annie] I think I'm getting a reading.
(sound effect crackling)
(device whirring)
[Cassie] Huh.
Huh.
I think this laptop was
used like really recently.
(sound effect whirring)
(door slams)
I think there's probably
like a person in here.
Well, they say spirits like,
you have energy to them.
So it's probably that's why.
We are getting activity.
(Cassie sighs)
[Cassie] I-
(sound effect whooshes)
I know, but this is
the best reading we got.
It's going to be okay, Cassandra.
(sound effect echoing)
Just breathe.
What was that?
- [Cassie] Annie-
- [Annie] Did you hear that?
[Cassie] Annie
Annie, please.
- [Annie] Oh my gosh.
My readings are going crazy right now.
- [Cassie] No, no, no.
- [Annie] I gotta
check this out.
- [Cassie] Annie.
Annie, stay here.
- [Annie] Its gonna be okay.
[Cassie] Annie! (Breathing heavily)
Come on.
This thing was just going crazy.
Is it back in here?
No.
What about here?
(sound effect buzzing)
(Cassie breathing heavily)
[Cassie] Annie?
Annie?
[Annie] Nothing.
(Cassie breathing heavily)
I didn't find anything.
(sound effect whooshing)
Ah!
Cassie! Help me!
[Jeff] Say cheese.
[Annie] Ah!
(camera clicks)
(tense music)
(Cassie exclaiming)
(Cassie hyperventilating)
(tense music continues)
(Annie coughs)
(Cassie whimpering)
(Annie coughing)
(Annie breathing heavily)
(tinkly music)
(suspenseful music)
Come on, come on.
Annie.
Annie.
Annie.
Come on.
(brooding music)
(tense music)
(camera clicks)
(Jeff roaring)
(Jeff breathing deeply)
(brooding music)
(Jeff groans)
Open the door!
(sound effect blams)
(brooding music continues)
Live the pain that's inside you.
(Jeff groaning)
(camera clicks)
(eerie music)
(flames whooshing)
(sound effect buzzing)
(brooding music)
(brooding music continues)
(dark ambient music)
(gentle carol music)
Then loud the carols ring
Then glad the children sing
(whip lashes)
- [Santa] Ho ho ho!
(hooves stamping)
(bells jingling)
(gentle carol music continues)
[Jeff] Say cheese!
(camera clicks)