Scooby Doo! Music of the Vampire (2012) Movie Script
Gather 'round, you'll hear a sound
Ancient and mysterious
Where banshees cry and goblins sigh
In manners dark and curious
In the swamp where gators swim
There's much to fear, you'll see
But the spirits float adrift
On the bayou breeze
Mission bells and voodoo spells
The sounds of witches shrieking
Listen close, you'll hear a ghost
Or a zombie choir weeping
In the swamp, the spiders bile
It's wild, I guarantee
How the spirits float adrift
On the bayou breeze
In the swamp, them spiders bile
It's wild, I guarantee
How the spirits float adrift
On the bayou breeze
On the bayou breeze.
Well, hello there. Come on.
Come, come, come. Have you a seat.
Kick them shoes off you.
Shh. But not too loud, now.
You see, me, I'm fixing to have me
some gumbo tonight.
And them catfish
can get mighty skittish, yeah.
Whoa. Whoa.
What...? Oh, no, you don't.
You get back, you!
Get back, y'all loony lizards!
I'm going to have y'all for my gumbo.
Oh, what...?
Oh, that's a leech.
Oh, you cute little critter.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
You know what that was?
Me neither. Hoo-hoo!
But it could be one of them vampires.
They all around these parts, yeah.
Look here.
That's the jewels
of a vampire bride, y'all.
I found them down the bayou.
They're some kind of pretty, eh?
But let me tell y'all, she didn't
wanna get married to no vampire, no.
And who can blame her? Who would?
But she was forced to.
And then came a talking dog...
Whoop. I done almost spoiled the ending.
Heh.
We got to start at the beginning, cher.
And that,
that happened along way from here.
Scooby, Shaggy,
you guys spot anything yet?
- Uh-uh.
- Call me crazy, Scooby...
- ...but don't these pipes look familiar?
- Kind of.
Didn't we run into
that big rat creature down here?
That was two weeks ago, Shaggy,
in the New York sewers.
How could you forget?
Wasn't that the glop monster?
The glop monster was on Saturday.
Remember?
Rat creature, then glop monster,
then snake-osaurus.
They're all starting to merge.
Better get ready for this one, Shaggy,
because it's coming.
I know. It's coming our way.
That was on Saturday too.
Huh?
- Hang on.
- It's huge!
We're coming.
Whatever you do, don't let it eat you
before we get there.
Oh, it's just a common cockroach.
There is nothing common
about a cockroach.
Is it singing?
Not singing. Signaling.
Signaling to what?
To that cockroach.
Gross!
Glad I brought a giant roll of flypaper.
Oh... Unh!
There, that's better.
Or not.
Mr. Clapper.
Of course.
He was using the cockroach monster...
...to drum up customers
for his exterminator company.
Just as I thought, guys. Guys?
Ew! Get it away!
I think we could all use a nice vacation.
Vacation?
- No, Daphne.
- Don't do it. We're begging you.
I'm sorry, guys, but I have to do this.
- No!
- No!
Show tunes make road trips
so much better.
The songs do get stuck in your head.
Tell us about it.
Well, I don't hear Velma complaining.
Did you say something?
Oh, are we still listening to show tunes?
You all complain now, but I bet
you'll be singing along in no time.
- Ha, ha. You hear that, Scoob?
- Yeah.
So, Velma, you ever gonna reveal
our secret vacation destination?
Not till we get there.
You guys are gonna love it.
Just as long as
they've got plenty of sunshine.
There is only one thing Scooby-Doo
and I are hoping for this vacation.
I don't want no more ghouls
Or nothing scary
No apparitions giving me a fright
Don't want nothing
that I need to bury
Or creatures that go
bumping in the night
No poltergeists
and nothing supernatural
No giant beast
That sneaks up from behind
No ghosts that rattle chains
Or things that eat your brains
No banshee witch
That scares me out of my mind
We're finally on vacation
And going someplace new
Rest and relaxation
Is all we're gonna do
I don't want no zombies or kooks
My friends, we're finally done
With all them goblins and spooks
That kept us on the run
We're gonna be cool as cukes
Our monster days are through
- No demonic beast and nothing
It's time to relax
And that's what we're gonna do
No more frown
We're moving down the road now
Keep that metal pedal to the floor
We haven't got a clue
Where we're headed to
But it's somewhere
That we've never been before
Cruising down the highway
Free without a care
It feels bizarre because
There are no werewolves anywhere
Don't want no dragons or freaks
And no crazy evil sprites
I don't want no
phantom that shrieks
Haunting us every night
I don't want no Comic-Con geeks
Walking up out of the blue
Dressed like bats and 7-fool rats
Chasing me down and saying
"How do you do?"
Lift your hand up high
Let it wave goodbye
To them gremlins
and monsters galore
Tell them all we're gone
'Cause we're moving on
And we ain't coming
back any more.
Hey, look, our destination.
See? Show tunes really do
help pass the time.
"Petit Chauve Sourie Ville"? Ooh.
Like, it sounds monster-free to me.
Hoo-hon!
Yeah, up top.
What does the French translate to?
Oh, it means "Little Bat Town."
- Uh-oh.
- Not to worry, Scoob.
Velma promised us this place would be
ghost-, ghoul-, and goblin-free.
What? Whoa!
Hey, I'm stalking here! I'm stalking here!
She didn't say anything about vampires.
Didn't I?
Mm, must've slipped my mind.
Shaggy, Scooby, you can come out.
It was just a kid in a costume.
Like, you sure?
Absolutely. He's probably just here
for the vampire festival.
Oh.
Vampire festival?
Yup, Vampire Palooza.
You brought us to a vampire convention?
To relax?
Not a vampire convention.
It's a celebration of all things vampiric.
Cool. And what better place
to experience it than Little Bat Town.
Ooh! Vampires are so romantic.
Have you read Silverlight?
Twelve times. I'm hoping
the author will be here to sign it.
Are we missing something here?
Like, what's so romantic about
undead creatures who sleep in coffins...
...prowl the night in search of victims,
steal their blood...
...and turn them
into their zombie servants?
Oh, those are old-school vampires.
Modern vampires are fun and super-cool.
Vampires don't sleep in coffins any more.
They sleep in Seattle.
- You're not making us feel better.
- Uh-uh.
Says here this place was founded
in the 19th century...
...by Abraham Van Helsing, the famous
vampire hunter of Dracula fame.
And it's still owned by
one of the Van Helsings' descendants.
So it's like a ghost town.
No, a vampire ghost town.
This is the last time
we let you pick the vacation spot.
- Yeah.
- Relax, guys.
There's absolutely nothing to fear.
Hey, Scoob,
when have we heard that before?
Every day of our lives.
You guys worry too much.
Well, we're not the only ones.
This fair is an abomination,
an affront to all that is good and decent.
Sign the petition to ban vampires?
- Like, that's a cause we can support.
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Here there be demons.
Here there also be corn dogs.
Fools. Fools, I say.
Will you allow temptation to lure you
into the fangy den of the bloodsucker?
Pretty much. Corn dogs!
Corn dogs, yum.
Hey, Scoob, if the food's this good
outside the festival...
...I can't wait to see
what they've got inside.
Guys, there's no such thing
as real vampires.
Mm.
No such thing
as paying customers either.
Five more complimentary passes.
I'll be lucky to break even this year.
Like, not exactly the kind of bite
I'm looking for.
We're guests of Vincent Van Helsing.
- He owns...
- Yes, yes.
I'm Lita Rutland, owner of the festival.
I know who Van Helsing is.
Unfortunately no one else does.
Imagine a vampire author
in these vampire-crazed times...
...who doesn't sell any books.
Maybe he's just having an off day.
Yeah, maybe.
He's still one of the foremost authorities
on vampire history.
Perhaps, but the world's moved on
from his old-school vampire tales.
Well, I've read all his books.
I think.
Well, you kids enjoy your free lunch. I
mean, your time here at Vampire Palooza.
She's friendly.
Velma.
It's good to see a familiar face.
And this must be the rest
of the famous mystery-hunting crew.
Guys, I'd like you to meet our host...
...the world's foremost expert
on vampires...
...Vincent Van Helsing.
A pleasure.
You know, I'm also an author.
Perhaps you've read my books?
My vampire tales are fact-based.
And not that lusty teen tripe
that's all the rage these days.
Yeah, that modern stuff is way lame.
Hey, did you guys know
Mr. Van Helsing...
...is the great-great-great-grandson
of Abraham Van Helsing?
Wow, a direct descendant...
- ...of the famous vampire hunter for real?
- It's true.
My family has been in the vampire
business for a long time.
That's why I became a vampirologist.
A vampire-what-igist?
Uh, vampirology is the academic study
of the vampire from A to Z.
Come, I'll show you.
My collection of vampire artifacts...
...go back to the very dawn
of the vampire.
This stuff is fang-tastic.
Heh. Get it?
I used the word "fang" instead of "fan."
We get it.
Wow, the ancient book of vampire.
I thought only one copy
of this existed in the world.
You're looking at it.
Check out these awesome stakes.
- Steaks? Where?
- Yummy.
- Oh, those kinds of stakes.
- Aw.
Look at these vampire jewels. Gorgeous.
Those belonged
to an actual Vampire's bride...
...in ancient Walachia.
Looks like she scored
a wealthy vampire husband.
They're quite priceless.
But those stones don't compare
to the real jewel of my collection.
A face to launch 100 million fears.
I bring you the dreaded vampire
Lord Valdronya.
Entombed in glass
for nigh a thousand years.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Wow!
Awesome.
- Looks fake to me.
- Me too.
The vampire lives!
Guys, don't be ridiculous.
- His eyes were glowing!
Mm-hm.
You'll have to excuse them.
They tend to be slightly excitable.
Perfectly understandable.
Lord Valdronya was quite
the fearsome fellow in his day.
We're lucky he's sealed under glass now.
This glass is so murky.
- Ah, Velma, always the skeptic.
- Eh, it's my thing.
Even if the vampire were alive,
he wouldn't get anywhere.
This glass is 6 inches thick.
If only Valdronya would wake...
...I'd have tourists filling this place
like back in the day.
And I wouldn't have
to rent my property...
...to Lita Rutland's
traveling vampire festival just to get by.
Sounds rough.
Lita's threatened to pull out next year
if things don't pick up.
I'm afraid I may not be able
to save my family's legacy.
Then again,
you never know what will happen.
Maybe my latest book
will become a best seller.
You write books? That's fu... Ow.
- Don't we have a show to see?
- Ah, yes. We'd better get going.
The vampires await.
Wait for us!
Our tickets are
being held in the box office. Wait here.
I'll be right back.
"Fangenschanz."
Fangenschanz?
I've heard of them.
They're supposed to be the most amazing
vampire-themed theater troupe ever.
Here, Scoob.
Wear this garlic for protection.
- Vampires hate it.
- Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
you can't bring garlic in here.
"No wooden stakes, garlic
or flash photography."
Huh. Well, I hate to let
perfectly good food go to waste.
No garlic on us.
Ugh. Gross. Just go inside.
Weirdos.
Hello.
Ew, someone's wearing
some stanky perfume.
- I don't smell it. Do you, Scoob?
- Nope.
According to the program...
...the members of Fangenschanz are so
dedicated to the vampire lifestyle...
...they perform only at night.
Method actors.
Ladies and gentle mortals,
it's feeding time.
What's that you hear?
The sound of fear
Because they're here
Vampires roaming the night
What's that you say?
Can't be, no way
They're fake?
Okay
Believe whatever you might
But when the moon is full
On a starlit night
You best all lock
your doors up light
Because, my friend
The vampires start to dance
And they're all around you
Everybody's coming to play
Oh, yes, they found you
And now they're
gonna lake you away
So watch out, lake care
Be smart, beware
Because out there
Something's waiting for you
When midnight comes,
it's time to hide
Say good night and run inside
Because that, my friend, is when
They all come out again
Oh, yes, right now is when
The vampires dance
The vampires dance.
Boo!
Yeah!
What? I'm just showing my appreciation.
We welcome you,
friends and potential blood donors.
And while we are mere performers,
be warned.
If you fear the sight of a real living
vampire, please, leave now.
That's our cue.
Too late.
And now for the first time on any stage,
we shall attempt the unheard of:
The Vampire's return from the grave.
Wow, he's very good.
Don't you guys think he's good?
Like, good?
Meh.
Behold the ancient talisman
of the immortal blood-drinkers.
Take heed, for the mortal world
shall soon be invaded.
Blackest rose, wolf and bane
Bats and crows.
That spell is from
the ancient book of vampire.
These jokers are playing
with supernatural fire.
What the...?
It's working?
Uh... Uh...
This is bad. This is very bad.
That's not Henry.
Oh, no.
Whoa.
- Next year, we're going to Miami.
- Yeah.
I was getting ready before the show
when I was attacked by that vampire.
Are you sure?
Unless you know someone else with
massive fangs and glowing green eyes.
I guess he put me under some sort of spell
and I passed out.
That resurrection chant
was from the ancient book of vampire.
Where on earth did you learn it?
Um, the Internet.
Well, I am afraid you may have unleashed
an unholy terror upon us all.
Maybe we shouldn't
jump to conclusions just yet.
Yeah, I'm sure this nice young man...
Uh, I didn't get your name. Oh.
Bram. And you are?
Bram. I mean, Daphne.
I'm not Bram, you are. Ha-ha-ha.
Oh. What were we talking about?
We were saying we don't know for sure
that Valdronya escaped from his tomb.
Oh. Uh, we should check that out.
You kids go ahead.
I'll stick around here to have a word
with the actors.
You guys can't hide forever.
Care to try us?
- No. Let's go.
- Careful.
- Unh.
- He's been bitten.
- Hmm. Maybe. Or...
We've got bigger problems.
Unh. This lid is still sealed tight.
Well, that vampire couldn't have
just walked through the glass.
The vampire queen's jewels are gone.
Jinkies.
Duck!
No, bat!
Such beauty and innocence...
...with the countenance of a queen.
My queen.
Your queen?
I don't think so.
Yeah, there's no such thing
as real vampires, until now.
There's a beast on the loose,
a spawn of the netherworld.
I say it's time we shut this foul fair down
for the good of the community.
Uh, set it up over there
by that rabble rouser.
Hello, Kelly Smith
from KDTV Action 10 News.
Looks like someone spilled the beans
about our escaped vampire.
The audience thought
it was all part of the show.
- Hope you're not implying my performers-
- I leaked it.
You? But..
This could be just the thing we need
to boost attendance.
Ah. They do say there's no such thing
as bad publicity.
That's the spirit. Now,
which would you say is my good side?
I am so relieved
that none of you kids were hurt last night.
Not physically,
but the mental wounds run deep.
Yeah, run deep.
Those foolish actors have no idea
the monster they've set loose.
We can't be certain this is their doing.
Or that we've got a real vampire
on our hands.
Did you check the museum's
security system?
Yep, the cameras recorded nothing.
System's on the fritz, but I just
can't afford to fix it right now.
Let's say it is a real vampire.
How did he escape that sealed tomb?
A living vampire can transform into mist.
All it would need
is a tiny gap in the glass.
This could all be a diversion
to steal those jewels. Just saying.
Oh, what a night.
Thanks for letting me sleep here, boss.
No problem, Daniel.
I hope you're feeling better.
Neck's a little sore,
but other than that...
The bite of the beast.
He could turn batty any second.
Doubtful. If he had been bitten
by a vampire, could he survive this?
Sunlight makes a vampire explode.
Wow, gorgeous day outside.
- Huh?
- He didn't crumble to dust.
He could be one of the rare few with
an antibody resistant to vampire venom.
Or he wasn't bitten at all.
Those look more like blisters than bites.
When you were attacked, did it feel like...
...oh, I don't know,
a thousand volts of electricity?
Uh, actually, yeah. How'd you know?
I volunteer at the police academy
on weekends.
If there's one thing I know,
it's Taser burns.
That tickles.
- Pretty good detective work, pal.
- Thanks.
Well, we also found your Taser
lying on the ground next to you.
I must've tripped and zapped myself.
Huh.
Weird.
I'd better go put that in my report.
That explains the bite marks,
but how do you explain the vampire?
So many questions.
It's quite the conundrum.
A real whodunit.
We'll need to put our heads together
on this one.
Uh-oh.
I know where this is going.
Yep, I'd say we've got a real live
boney fide mystery on our hands.
Eyewitness accounts aside...
...we've had no confirmation
of the supposed vampires' existence...
...from anyone associated with the fair.
You want confirmation?
No one is safe.
I'm here to tell you
from firsthand experience...
...that vampires bite.
So much for keeping this
on the down-low.
Gather 'round, hear me now
Listen up, 'cause I vow
There's a vampire
roaming the night
He had wings and a snout
With these fangs hanging out
That can rip and can
tear when they bite
He flew down from the skies
With those red glowing eyes
And he smiled and I knew in a sec
He had come there for me
'Cause he leaped up in glee
Then he pounced
And he bit me on the neck
Yes, I screamed and cried out
"It's a vampire!"
I escaped and ran into the light
I held up one of these
And we all saw him freeze
Then he shrieked in the night
And flew off out of sight
Be advised and be scared
Be alert, be prepared
Buy this garlic we
have here on sale
Gel a charm for your neck
We lake cash, we lake check
And ship free, COD
through the mail
How 'bout this vampire spray?
It keeps dandruff away
Sold in tonic and lotion or mist
Here, these potions we make
And this big wooden stake
At a price that you
just can't resist
We lake MasterCard, Visa and Chase
Not Discover
We're open till 9 every night
Not on Sunday
In bulk, any size
Then our discount applies
So invest in the best
Bring ID or a check
And buy one of each
Maybe two, what the heck
You can't be loo safe
When protecting your neck
From the vamp
The vampire's bile
Looks like Lita's little
press conference was good for business.
Aah! Vampire!
Where? Where?
Fred, don't tell me
you're buying into the hype.
Of course not.
Want a bite of this garlic pizza?
It has magical protective powers.
Having a vampire on the loose is the best
thing that's ever happened to this festival.
Hasn't boosted my book sales.
- It just did.
- Why, thank you, Lita.
You want it signed?
Sure, make it out to "receptacle."
Trash receptacle.
- Huh?
- Ha-ha-ha!
Hey!
It's getting so you can't find a safe place
to hide anywhere.
Vampires are all around us, people.
Now, keep alert.
You hear that, Scoob?
Let's move, move, move.
Hey, Poubelle,
I told you to get off the property.
You're scaring away the customers.
I'm here with Jesper Poubelle from the
Society for Moral and Wholesome Living.
Jesper, how can people slay safe
from vampire attacks?
They can join in our crusade of moral
righteousness against supernatural evil.
Together we can stamp out
the vampire scourge.
I've heard enough.
That guy is becoming
quite the media star.
More like milking the situation
for everything it's worth.
I think it's time
we pay Mr. Poubelle a visit.
That's right. This is
a certifiable, undeniable crisis, people.
It is high time we institute
a dusk-to-dawn curfew.
I'll keep Poubelle occupied.
You guys see what you can dig up.
...Overreacting.
But ignore this warning
and you'll be knocking on the doors to...
Shaggy, you and Scooby stand watch.
If anyone comes, tap on the door.
We're in.
Wow, what a wreck.
They may be moral and wholesome,
but they're not very clean.
We've got hundreds of reports
of vampire sightings.
Couldn't people be imagining these things
because you're causing them to panic?
I didn't create the evil.
Maybe not, but you sure seem to be eager
to take advantage of it.
Young lady, your questions
were not cleared with my staff.
Someone check her credentials.
Uh, I think I left them in the car.
Fred, I found something.
Ew, I hope it's not more spiders.
"Poubelle for mayor"?
What are you two doing back here?
- Um, uh...
- Uh... Uh...
- We're, uh...
- We're door inspectors.
Stand back. This one might explode.
Doors don't explo...
Why'd you signal?
Stay right where you are.
Run away!
Get in!
Hey, stop that thing! Stop!
Poubelle is running for office.
That explains a lot.
He's using the vampire to get attention
for his movement...
...and boost his upcoming campaign.
Still, it isn't proof
he's behind the vampire attacks.
He's just using them to his advantage.
This fog is like soup.
Maybe you should let me drive.
I'm good. Sort of enjoying it.
Daphne, look out!
Brace yourselves!
That opening is too tight.
We won't make it.
I'm telling you, Poubelle,
you can't come in here.
You're scaring off my customers.
And I'm telling you, I've got a special
dispensation from the sheriff himself.
That's right, Ms. Rutland.
By order of the court,
I have recruited these gentlemen.
We are hereby deputized
vampire hunters.
Vampire hunters, ho!
- All right.
- Let's go.
Who would actually fall
for that scaremonger's rantings?
They say there's a fraidycat
born every minute.
Ah, there you are. I got us all
neck protectors, just to be safe.
I see your point, Velma.
Hey, where are Scooby and Shaggy?
They went to the food court
to calm their nerves.
Heh. Those guys are so jumpy.
Yaah! A vampire!
The food court should be right here
behind the theater.
Unless the map is upside down.
Careful. Damage anything
and we're as good as dead.
What are you doing back here?
This is a restricted area.
We're just looking for the food court.
Uh-oh.
- We can't let them go.
- What if they tell someone...
- ...what they've seen?
- You're right.
Uh, what have we seen?
Scooby, I think we're in...
Hey, look, a Hollywood talent scout.
I think we lost them.
Huh?
We better find that food court, Scoob
Your tummy's grumbling.
Not mine.
Well, it isn't mine.
Stay back or I'll be forced to use this.
Maybe later!
I've been bitten by a vampire!
Look, Mama, a real vampire.
Incoming!
Phew. He's gone, Scoob.
And I'm a goner.
I've been bitten by a vampire.
I'll probably sprout fangs any second
and...
Is this ketchup?
Bloodsuckers!
Where?
That one shape-shifted into a dog.
Uh-oh.
- I think they mean us.
- Get them!
Appears we lost
them crafty shape-shifters.
I guess we best head back
before our torches burn out.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Oh, well. Maybe next time.
Ah. Phew. We're safe, Scoob.
Except for the fact we're lost in a swamp.
And I could turn into a vampire
at any moment.
Check out my bite. Is it bad?
Don't sugarcoat it. I know I'm done for.
You should get out of here
before I turn all bat-ified.
Uh-uh. I'm not going.
Once the vampire venom
takes hold of my system...
...there's no guarantee
I won't sink my fangs into you.
We have to split up, Scoob.
No, Shaggy. No.
It's the only way to save yourself.
Just turn away from me
and don't look back.
I can't.
I guess I'll have to do this myself.
Huh?
Goodbye, old friend.
I hope one day you'll see that
this is best for both of us.
Shaggy?
One foot in front of the other.
Don't look back. Don't ever look...
I looked back.
- Shaggy.
- Promise you'll never leave me, Scoob.
Never.
Wha...? What are you doing?
Checking for vampire symptoms.
Say "ah."
Ah.
Scoob, you're the best pal
a guy could have.
A real friend to the end.
Whenever I'm down
Right there on the ground
Lying out flat on my face
Who is the pup
Picking me up
And gelling me back in the race?
Who'll be around and watching my back
Guide me along and keep me on track?
Forever he's there
We're a pair
Scooby and me
When the going gels tough
- And things can gel
- Rough
- You're the one on whom I depend
- Who, me?
- I'll give you the proof, I'll' climb up on the--
- Roof
And shout to the world
"You're my friend!"
And when I'm a vampire
Roaming the night
Because you're my pal
I'll just lake a small bile
You're one of the greats
And we're males
Scooby and me
Oh, Scooby and me
We're gonna be together for good
That buddy of mine
If you're ever in doubt
Need me helping you out
You know that would if I got time
If you're ever in jail
And you're needing some bail
Or a friend to set you free
You can always count on me
'Cause tell me where would I be
Without you by my side
My friend and my guide
Helping to carry me through
People go by
If I live or I die
They wouldn't care, but not you
You are the one who keeps me at ease
- Giving me love and occasional fleas
- Sorry
No matter what comes
We are chums
Scooby and me
Yep.
In the interest of public safety, I am
hereby issuing a dusk-to-dawn curfew.
- No one is to be out past dark.
- Yes!
Now that is more like it.
This extreme measure is seen as a victory
for local anti-vampire crusader...
...and now mayoral candidate,
Jesper Poubelle.
Closing us down
But that isn't fair
I'm warning you all
You belle! Beware
You're messing with me
And you'll see
You're all gonna pay
Oh, I'm broke, I'm ruined
What will I do?
Oh, what happens
When the rent is due?
Oh, watch out, my friends
There's vampires on the loose
And that's why I brought the noose
You just kif fed
the golden goose
- Oh, got a show to do
- Vampires here.
- Curtain up
- Run them out of town.
Hey, Scooby-Doo.
- Opening night revue
- Bad show.
- Don't give up
- It's time to shut them down.
What would! do?
They're to blame, it's true.
Poubelle, shame on you.
We're not the same as you.
Where would I be without you?
Scooby and me We always will be.
- Together forever as friends.
- Gel out, don't want vampires.
- You are the one, second to none.
- Leave us because.
- The pal on which a buddy depends.
- We know the show goes on.
They are the ones
They're evil and bad.
Watch out for them
They're crazy and mad.
What do you do when there's vampires
Where there shouldn't be?
- Listen to me.
- You can't do this to me.
Doesn't anyone see?
Why'd this happen to me?
It's always going to be
Scooby and me
Scooby, I think we've got company.
But critics call the move shortsighted and
a slinging blow to the local economy.
It's an assault on capitalism.
Disgusting.
This is the last time I bring my fair
to this Podunk town.
Without the income from Lita's festival,
there's no way I can keep this place afloat.
I'm ruined.
We'll try to solve this mystery
before Lita packs up for good.
Thank you, Velma.
I'm really lucky to have you kids here.
Hey, guys.
I'm worried about Shaggy and Scooby.
I haven't seen them since last night.
They probably got spooked by
their own shadows and hid out all night.
I just hope the vampire didn't get them.
I highly doubt we're dealing
with a real vampire.
Show him, Daphne.
I found this in the Mystery Machine.
It's a piece of the Vampire's cloak.
I must've torn it loose
when he attacked us.
What's an old piece of fabric
gonna prove?
It's not old.
It's clearly poly-krillion, a synthetic
material first produced in 1997.
Girlfriend knows her fabrics.
So the vampire, or whatever it was,
probably isn't a thousand years old.
Oh, what a relief.
I mean, not that I thought
we were dealing with a real vampire.
That would be dumb to think that.
Actually I must confess...
...the outfit Valdronya was wearing
in his tomb was new.
How? You said he was sealed in his tomb
for a thousand years.
Yes, but his clothing
had disintegrated overtime.
We unsealed him briefly for authentication
and in the name of modesty.
Valdronya's clothing had disintegrated,
but he didn't. That's odd.
A vampire is a living being,
even in a state of slumber.
This is what's left
of his original garments.
Antique Asian silk.
Spun gold markings.
The thick hand weave.
Fabric like this hasn't been made
for 500 years.
Valdronya is still out there.
Think I'll just grab these things.
I'm afraid those actors unleashed
an unholy terror upon us all.
Yes, the actors.
Ooh. I'll go check them out.
I bet you will.
Freddy, do I detect a little
twinge of jealousy?
Me, jealous of some vitamin D-deprived,
historical vampire reenactment nuts?
Maybe I should go with you.
No, thanks.
I'm well prepared to handle Bram.
Uh... I mean, the actors. Bye.
Hmm.
Hello? Anyone in here?
Strange place for a laser projector.
Bram. Don't sneak up on a girl like that.
I wasn't the one sneaking.
You looking for something or someone?
Actually, I... Do you sleep up there?
To know the vampire,
you must become the vampire.
Hm. You're really committed.
It's the role I was meant for.
So do you lurk around
darkened theaters often?
More than you know.
Well, there's something
we have in common...
- ...right off the bat.
- Cute.
Grab on. I'll teach you to fly.
I don't know. Promise not to drop me?
Only a fool would drop a girl like you.
Smooth.
Wow, this is amazing.
It's fate that brought you here.
Destiny. A cosmic occurrence.
A vision foretold.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bram, I think you're very interesting,
but you're one clich from my limit.
Daphne.
From the moment you'd first seen us
Did you ever in your life think
You'd be standing here with me?
With this thing we have between us
I could tell that it was fate
And it was always meant to be
Yes, you and! were meant for glory
And something greater
Than this drab little world that we see
And who'd have thought that later
You and! would have this dale
A dale with destiny
I can't believe you think I'd buy that
Come on, I've heard this all before
It's just a line, I'm not naive
I really can't believe you'd try that
I've gotta say you must be nuts
To think that's something I'd believe
You lay it on there kind of heavy
With all this talk of something special
So, what could it be?
What if I say I know a way
To immortality?
Really?
You and! could live forever
You mean our lives would never end?
That's right
And we won't be aging ever?
You'd be Bram's immortal friend
- For real?
- That's the deal
- Can't you feel, it's so exciting?
- Everlasting life eternal
You've been chosen for this honor
You'll have wealth and you'll have fame
I gotta write this in my journal
Just wail and see
Everyone will know your name
- Will I slay cute?
- Absolute
We'll be going down in history
We'll be known throughout the world
Eternity for you and me
Let's live forever and ever
Yes, never to sever
Together forever, we'll be
You and me
I'm gonna have to say thanks, but no.
Points for trying though.
This makes us very unhappy.
Well, I'm sorry, but... Us?
Seize the Vampire's bride.
The what?
Where are we?
No clue, Scoob. Not that it matters.
This swamp is as good a home as any
for a vampire and his canine pal.
- Except for the leeches.
- Leeches?
But, hey, we won't let a few little leeches
spoil things, will we, Scoob?
No way.
Snake!
Gators!
Crawdads!
Snakes and gators and crawdads.
Oh, my.
I think we need a new life plan,
Scooby-Don.
Shaggy, look.
A tin shack. It's a dream come true.
Remember, Scoob, don't say anything
about me being a vampire.
Okay.
- Company? Come on in, cher. Hoo-hon!
- Whoa!
Sit you down a spell
while I put on that gumbo.
Gumbo?
Like, man, our luck has changed, Scoob.
My name's Tulie.
That's not my real name, no.
But that's what it say on the shack,
so I go with that. Hoo-hon!
Hon! Look at that right there.
Now we cooking some kind of yeah.
How come you live way out here
in the middle of nowhere?
Well, if you must know, I'm on the run.
- From what?
- Vampires!
Ooh, I hate them, me.
And if I ever catch me one,
I'm going to grind his bones for stew.
Maybe we should be going.
Stay right there.
It's gumbo time.
Ah.
Well, I wasn't always a crazy old hermit.
I used to be a handsome inventor
of fantastical devices.
Oh, yeah? What'd you invent?
Gadgets, whatchamacallits, thingamajigs.
Stuff that go:
Buzz, buzz, hoppity-hoppity, hoop!
I had me a little shop over there
at Petit Chauve Sourie Ville...
...where I sold things...
...the most popular item being a hat
with two cup holders and along straw...
...so you could have two soda pops
while you're watching that ball game.
Like, wow, ha, ha,
you invented the drinky hat?
No, but I sold them in the store.
Ain't nobody ever bought my inventions
because, like I said, they mostly just went.
Bleep, bleep, bloop, bloop,
hoop, hoop.
But then I created
the greatest invention ever:
Flying shoes.
They're based on the same principle
as a hover boat.
But the fans be pointed down
to lift you off the ground.
Whoo-whoo-whoo! There you go.
And I was all set to show them
to a big shoe company...
...when a vampire attacked me
and stole the prototypes.
Well, I filed me an insurance claim.
But it turns out
they don't cover vampire attacks.
Hoo-hon.
That's awful.
More, please.
Me too.
I was ruined, y'all.
I've been living out here
in the swamp ever since.
And that is why
I hates me them vampires.
Like, how long ago did this happen?
I don't know, long as
I've been growing these here whiskers.
Maybe two, three weeks now.
Oh, well, that's life.
You know, sometime you lose everything
on account of vampires...
...sometime you don't. Ha, ha.
How y'all like the gumbo?
Amazing.
Amazing. Mm-mm-mm.
Yeah.
That's because of my special ingredient.
Heh.
Leeches.
I likes to put them leech in the gumbo.
Leech gumbo. Yum. That's good, yeah.
Thanks for everything.
Y'all come back anytime!
Look at this. The stolen jewels are part of
some sort of vampire wedding ceremony.
The vampire bonding ritual.
According to legend, if the vampire
takes the soul of his mortal bride...
...he'll gain unbridled power.
The ceremony must take place
upon the third moon...
...following the Vampire's release
from captivity.
That's tonight.
If Valdronya succeeds,
he'll be unstoppable.
Unstoppable? Not if I can help it.
Maybe vampires were tough to catch
back in the day, but times have changed.
There's a new breed of vampire hunter
me.
Vampire hunting
is serious business, Fred.
You must be prepared for anything.
Oh, I'm prepared, all right.
Gotta watch that hair trigger.
Not so fast.
The vampire has the jewels...
...but he still needs one thing
a bride.
Not just any bride.
A mortal beauty, pure of heart.
That could take a while to find.
Hey, it's a text from Daphne.
"Been kidnapped by vampire actors.
Help!."
A mortal beauty, pure of heart.
- Daphne.
- Jinkies.
I knew those actors
were involved somehow.
According to the book...
...those who offer up the Vampire's bride
will be rewarded with immortality.
That's a heck of a finder's fee.
Any idea where they'll take her?
I saw a star chart in here pointing out
the precise coordinates of the ceremony.
We could make a copy.
- Or that.
- Let's move.
If the wedding takes place, Daphne
will become the bride of the vampire.
You know, I'm pure of heart.
Does anyone ever think
of kidnapping me? No.
Uh, Velma, focus.
Sorry.
Tonight we give Valdronya the king
his queen.
And we shall be rewarded
with eternal life as real vampires.
All hail Valdronya!
Relax, Daphne.
It's just your soul you're giving up.
Easy for you to say.
You obviously never had one.
We're close.
Stop. Did you hear that? In the trees.
Must have been my imagination.
- Hang on.
- Save yourselves.
Zoinks!
I got something. Come on.
- Shaggy?
- Nice shooting, Fred.
Scooby, what are you guys doing
in the swamp?
Yeah, don't you know
it's dangerous out here?
- Clearly.
- Yeah.
The calibration is still off.
Let's get you down from there.
Don't get too close, Velma.
I've been bitten by a vampire.
I could turn bloodsucker any second.
That's no bite. It's a splinter.
So I'm not gonna turn
into a bloodsucking weirdo?
Bloodsucker? No.
Weirdo? We're too late for that.
Fire in the hole.
Still off.
Maybe it's best if you set that thing
to net mode from now on.
The appointed hour is near, my friends.
And soon our efforts will be repaid
with immortality.
A jewel for a jewel.
You're such the charmer.
You are so lucky to be chosen.
I'm sure you'll find an evil vampire king
of your own one day.
Let the wedding ceremony begin!
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Dearly beloved
We're gathered today
To praise the one called Daphne
And give her away
Linked and joined forever
She'll be by your side
Valdronya, we present you
Your vampire bride
- Looks like we're in time for the wedding.
- Wedding?
I wish someone had told us.
We don't even have a gift.
I've got a gift right here.
- Huh?
- I don't get it.
He means we're gonna stop the wedding
from happening.
My way sounded cooler.
Hear us now, Valdronya
And come to our side
The time has come for claiming
Your vampire bride
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Behold, the king has heard our call.
This is it. Here he comes.
Bow down before your king.
Excellent work, my little vampire-lings.
Close your eyes
And come to me
When you wake
Then you shall be
Alive for all eternity
With me
Dark of the moon and
beauty so bright
Spirits arise and
call to the night
From Earth to the stars
And all that's between
Beware and behold
the vampire queen
A mortal beauty.
Your queen.
Hold it.
Hi. Uh, mind if I get a picture
of the happy couple?
That one's for the memory book.
Ha, ha. Yikes!
Daphne, you okay?
Ha, ha. Velma, you came to my wedding.
Oh, don't cry, Velma.
You won't always be a bridesmaid.
I'm not crying.
Valdronya's using gas
to hypnotize everyone.
Whatever you've gotta tell yourself.
Ha, ha.
Like, that is one unhappy groom.
Come on. I must have gotten water
in the compressor.
Keep him busy while I fix this thing.
- Aah!
- Dead end!
Whoa!
In more ways than one!
Yipe!
Ha-ha-ha. Hm?
Ahem. Here's your stupid amulet.
Nice shot.
- He-yah!
- Unh!
Actually, Velma,
I kind of wanted to keep that.
Sorry.
I'll make you all my vampire servants.
I'd say you're looking at a net loss.
I think I'll raise the stakes.
Let's see who's under that mask.
Like I've been saying all along,
there's no such thing as real vampires.
Right, Mr. Van Helsing?
Van Helsing?
But why?
He was trying to save
Petit Chauve Souris Ville...
...by staging a series
of real live vampire events.
Events tied to his latest book,
The Bride of the Vampire...
...which I actually read. It's not bad.
You really liked it?
I said it's not bad. Don't push it.
So by creating a real vampire legend,
he'd get tourists year-round.
And sell books.
It's true.
I wanted to put the Van Helsing name
back on the map.
I thought once word spread
of the ceremony...
...tourists would flock here
to see the place...
...where a real live vampire
wedding ritual had happened.
Then I would no longer need
Lita Rutland...
...and her schlocky Vampire Palooza
to make ends meet.
And what about the actors?
Merely pawns in his game.
They were so devoted to the vampire
way of life, they were easily duped.
When Valdronya first appeared, they really
thought their ritual had conjured him up.
Van Helsing used their intense belief
in vampires against them.
But Van Helsing was in the audience when
Valdronya materialized in the theater.
He used a laser projector for that.
I'd wager he planted
similar projectors in the museum...
...to give the illusion of the vampire
in the glass coffin.
Security cameras rewired for
special effects would explain a lot...
...including why there was no surveillance
footage of Valdronya's supposed escape.
When Daphne tore off a piece of modern
fabric from Valdronya's cloak...
...Mr. Van Helsing must've feared the
threads of his plot were unraveling...
...so to speak.
Looking at it now...
...I suspect he passed off ancient
fabric from his museum as a cover-up.
He staged his own demise in the swamp
using this.
Aah! Vampires!
No, a simple mechanical device
he planted in the marsh.
Probably a prop from the theater.
So when he was kicking and flailing...
He was actually triggering it.
But, like,
how did he hypnotize everyone?
Knockout gas.
No one knew what hit them.
But when they awoke,
they remembered seeing Valdronya...
...and thought he'd mesmerized them.
By gassing everyone at the wedding,
he'd slip away...
...but leave eyewitnesses to tell the
tale of Valdronya and his bride.
The actors already lived like vampires,
so they could just go on like that...
...thinking they were actually immortal.
You've really thought of everything.
Eh, it's what we do.
Daphne, I... I'm sorry
for putting you through all this.
Well, it's not every day a girl is kidnapped
to be an ancient Vampire's bride.
In a strange way, I'm flattered.
Really? Maybe after I get out of prison,
we could grab a coffee and...
Heh. Not on your life, bat boy.
I don't date actors.
Move along, fella.
Like, there's one thing
about this whole plan I don't get.
Why'd Van Helsing need us?
You were my credible witnesses.
It's one thing to have a bunch of
weirdo vampire-reenactment nuts...
...spreading my tale.
Quite another
when the story is recounted...
...by respected monster hunters
such as yourselves.
We're respected?
My family's legacy
would have been restored.
Not to mention,
you would have sold loads of books.
That too.
Wow, like, that is one elaborate plan.
And I would have gotten away with it,
if not for you meddling...
Let's go, Van Helsing.
Well, gang,
it looks like another mystery is solved.
I don't want no more ghouls
Or nothing scary
No vampire creatures
giving me a fright
No ghosts that rattle chains
Or things that eat your brains
Or monsters that go flying
Through the night
We're going on vacation
And heading somewhere new
Rest and relaxation
Is all we're gonna do
Want no more actors or kooks
Van Helsing's scheme is done
With all his vampire spooks
And now it's time to run
We're gonna be cool as cukes
Our monster days are through
No demonic beast
And nothing deceased
It's time to relax
And that's what we're gonna do
There is only one thing Scooby-Doo
and I are hoping for this vacation.
Ladies and gentle mortals,
it's feeding time.
Boo!
Sorry.
Yep.
Gel out, don't want vampires.
Leave us because.
We know the show goes on.
Ancient and mysterious
Where banshees cry and goblins sigh
In manners dark and curious
In the swamp where gators swim
There's much to fear, you'll see
But the spirits float adrift
On the bayou breeze
Mission bells and voodoo spells
The sounds of witches shrieking
Listen close, you'll hear a ghost
Or a zombie choir weeping
In the swamp, the spiders bile
It's wild, I guarantee
How the spirits float adrift
On the bayou breeze
In the swamp, them spiders bile
It's wild, I guarantee
How the spirits float adrift
On the bayou breeze
On the bayou breeze.
Well, hello there. Come on.
Come, come, come. Have you a seat.
Kick them shoes off you.
Shh. But not too loud, now.
You see, me, I'm fixing to have me
some gumbo tonight.
And them catfish
can get mighty skittish, yeah.
Whoa. Whoa.
What...? Oh, no, you don't.
You get back, you!
Get back, y'all loony lizards!
I'm going to have y'all for my gumbo.
Oh, what...?
Oh, that's a leech.
Oh, you cute little critter.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
You know what that was?
Me neither. Hoo-hoo!
But it could be one of them vampires.
They all around these parts, yeah.
Look here.
That's the jewels
of a vampire bride, y'all.
I found them down the bayou.
They're some kind of pretty, eh?
But let me tell y'all, she didn't
wanna get married to no vampire, no.
And who can blame her? Who would?
But she was forced to.
And then came a talking dog...
Whoop. I done almost spoiled the ending.
Heh.
We got to start at the beginning, cher.
And that,
that happened along way from here.
Scooby, Shaggy,
you guys spot anything yet?
- Uh-uh.
- Call me crazy, Scooby...
- ...but don't these pipes look familiar?
- Kind of.
Didn't we run into
that big rat creature down here?
That was two weeks ago, Shaggy,
in the New York sewers.
How could you forget?
Wasn't that the glop monster?
The glop monster was on Saturday.
Remember?
Rat creature, then glop monster,
then snake-osaurus.
They're all starting to merge.
Better get ready for this one, Shaggy,
because it's coming.
I know. It's coming our way.
That was on Saturday too.
Huh?
- Hang on.
- It's huge!
We're coming.
Whatever you do, don't let it eat you
before we get there.
Oh, it's just a common cockroach.
There is nothing common
about a cockroach.
Is it singing?
Not singing. Signaling.
Signaling to what?
To that cockroach.
Gross!
Glad I brought a giant roll of flypaper.
Oh... Unh!
There, that's better.
Or not.
Mr. Clapper.
Of course.
He was using the cockroach monster...
...to drum up customers
for his exterminator company.
Just as I thought, guys. Guys?
Ew! Get it away!
I think we could all use a nice vacation.
Vacation?
- No, Daphne.
- Don't do it. We're begging you.
I'm sorry, guys, but I have to do this.
- No!
- No!
Show tunes make road trips
so much better.
The songs do get stuck in your head.
Tell us about it.
Well, I don't hear Velma complaining.
Did you say something?
Oh, are we still listening to show tunes?
You all complain now, but I bet
you'll be singing along in no time.
- Ha, ha. You hear that, Scoob?
- Yeah.
So, Velma, you ever gonna reveal
our secret vacation destination?
Not till we get there.
You guys are gonna love it.
Just as long as
they've got plenty of sunshine.
There is only one thing Scooby-Doo
and I are hoping for this vacation.
I don't want no more ghouls
Or nothing scary
No apparitions giving me a fright
Don't want nothing
that I need to bury
Or creatures that go
bumping in the night
No poltergeists
and nothing supernatural
No giant beast
That sneaks up from behind
No ghosts that rattle chains
Or things that eat your brains
No banshee witch
That scares me out of my mind
We're finally on vacation
And going someplace new
Rest and relaxation
Is all we're gonna do
I don't want no zombies or kooks
My friends, we're finally done
With all them goblins and spooks
That kept us on the run
We're gonna be cool as cukes
Our monster days are through
- No demonic beast and nothing
It's time to relax
And that's what we're gonna do
No more frown
We're moving down the road now
Keep that metal pedal to the floor
We haven't got a clue
Where we're headed to
But it's somewhere
That we've never been before
Cruising down the highway
Free without a care
It feels bizarre because
There are no werewolves anywhere
Don't want no dragons or freaks
And no crazy evil sprites
I don't want no
phantom that shrieks
Haunting us every night
I don't want no Comic-Con geeks
Walking up out of the blue
Dressed like bats and 7-fool rats
Chasing me down and saying
"How do you do?"
Lift your hand up high
Let it wave goodbye
To them gremlins
and monsters galore
Tell them all we're gone
'Cause we're moving on
And we ain't coming
back any more.
Hey, look, our destination.
See? Show tunes really do
help pass the time.
"Petit Chauve Sourie Ville"? Ooh.
Like, it sounds monster-free to me.
Hoo-hon!
Yeah, up top.
What does the French translate to?
Oh, it means "Little Bat Town."
- Uh-oh.
- Not to worry, Scoob.
Velma promised us this place would be
ghost-, ghoul-, and goblin-free.
What? Whoa!
Hey, I'm stalking here! I'm stalking here!
She didn't say anything about vampires.
Didn't I?
Mm, must've slipped my mind.
Shaggy, Scooby, you can come out.
It was just a kid in a costume.
Like, you sure?
Absolutely. He's probably just here
for the vampire festival.
Oh.
Vampire festival?
Yup, Vampire Palooza.
You brought us to a vampire convention?
To relax?
Not a vampire convention.
It's a celebration of all things vampiric.
Cool. And what better place
to experience it than Little Bat Town.
Ooh! Vampires are so romantic.
Have you read Silverlight?
Twelve times. I'm hoping
the author will be here to sign it.
Are we missing something here?
Like, what's so romantic about
undead creatures who sleep in coffins...
...prowl the night in search of victims,
steal their blood...
...and turn them
into their zombie servants?
Oh, those are old-school vampires.
Modern vampires are fun and super-cool.
Vampires don't sleep in coffins any more.
They sleep in Seattle.
- You're not making us feel better.
- Uh-uh.
Says here this place was founded
in the 19th century...
...by Abraham Van Helsing, the famous
vampire hunter of Dracula fame.
And it's still owned by
one of the Van Helsings' descendants.
So it's like a ghost town.
No, a vampire ghost town.
This is the last time
we let you pick the vacation spot.
- Yeah.
- Relax, guys.
There's absolutely nothing to fear.
Hey, Scoob,
when have we heard that before?
Every day of our lives.
You guys worry too much.
Well, we're not the only ones.
This fair is an abomination,
an affront to all that is good and decent.
Sign the petition to ban vampires?
- Like, that's a cause we can support.
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Here there be demons.
Here there also be corn dogs.
Fools. Fools, I say.
Will you allow temptation to lure you
into the fangy den of the bloodsucker?
Pretty much. Corn dogs!
Corn dogs, yum.
Hey, Scoob, if the food's this good
outside the festival...
...I can't wait to see
what they've got inside.
Guys, there's no such thing
as real vampires.
Mm.
No such thing
as paying customers either.
Five more complimentary passes.
I'll be lucky to break even this year.
Like, not exactly the kind of bite
I'm looking for.
We're guests of Vincent Van Helsing.
- He owns...
- Yes, yes.
I'm Lita Rutland, owner of the festival.
I know who Van Helsing is.
Unfortunately no one else does.
Imagine a vampire author
in these vampire-crazed times...
...who doesn't sell any books.
Maybe he's just having an off day.
Yeah, maybe.
He's still one of the foremost authorities
on vampire history.
Perhaps, but the world's moved on
from his old-school vampire tales.
Well, I've read all his books.
I think.
Well, you kids enjoy your free lunch. I
mean, your time here at Vampire Palooza.
She's friendly.
Velma.
It's good to see a familiar face.
And this must be the rest
of the famous mystery-hunting crew.
Guys, I'd like you to meet our host...
...the world's foremost expert
on vampires...
...Vincent Van Helsing.
A pleasure.
You know, I'm also an author.
Perhaps you've read my books?
My vampire tales are fact-based.
And not that lusty teen tripe
that's all the rage these days.
Yeah, that modern stuff is way lame.
Hey, did you guys know
Mr. Van Helsing...
...is the great-great-great-grandson
of Abraham Van Helsing?
Wow, a direct descendant...
- ...of the famous vampire hunter for real?
- It's true.
My family has been in the vampire
business for a long time.
That's why I became a vampirologist.
A vampire-what-igist?
Uh, vampirology is the academic study
of the vampire from A to Z.
Come, I'll show you.
My collection of vampire artifacts...
...go back to the very dawn
of the vampire.
This stuff is fang-tastic.
Heh. Get it?
I used the word "fang" instead of "fan."
We get it.
Wow, the ancient book of vampire.
I thought only one copy
of this existed in the world.
You're looking at it.
Check out these awesome stakes.
- Steaks? Where?
- Yummy.
- Oh, those kinds of stakes.
- Aw.
Look at these vampire jewels. Gorgeous.
Those belonged
to an actual Vampire's bride...
...in ancient Walachia.
Looks like she scored
a wealthy vampire husband.
They're quite priceless.
But those stones don't compare
to the real jewel of my collection.
A face to launch 100 million fears.
I bring you the dreaded vampire
Lord Valdronya.
Entombed in glass
for nigh a thousand years.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Wow!
Awesome.
- Looks fake to me.
- Me too.
The vampire lives!
Guys, don't be ridiculous.
- His eyes were glowing!
Mm-hm.
You'll have to excuse them.
They tend to be slightly excitable.
Perfectly understandable.
Lord Valdronya was quite
the fearsome fellow in his day.
We're lucky he's sealed under glass now.
This glass is so murky.
- Ah, Velma, always the skeptic.
- Eh, it's my thing.
Even if the vampire were alive,
he wouldn't get anywhere.
This glass is 6 inches thick.
If only Valdronya would wake...
...I'd have tourists filling this place
like back in the day.
And I wouldn't have
to rent my property...
...to Lita Rutland's
traveling vampire festival just to get by.
Sounds rough.
Lita's threatened to pull out next year
if things don't pick up.
I'm afraid I may not be able
to save my family's legacy.
Then again,
you never know what will happen.
Maybe my latest book
will become a best seller.
You write books? That's fu... Ow.
- Don't we have a show to see?
- Ah, yes. We'd better get going.
The vampires await.
Wait for us!
Our tickets are
being held in the box office. Wait here.
I'll be right back.
"Fangenschanz."
Fangenschanz?
I've heard of them.
They're supposed to be the most amazing
vampire-themed theater troupe ever.
Here, Scoob.
Wear this garlic for protection.
- Vampires hate it.
- Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
you can't bring garlic in here.
"No wooden stakes, garlic
or flash photography."
Huh. Well, I hate to let
perfectly good food go to waste.
No garlic on us.
Ugh. Gross. Just go inside.
Weirdos.
Hello.
Ew, someone's wearing
some stanky perfume.
- I don't smell it. Do you, Scoob?
- Nope.
According to the program...
...the members of Fangenschanz are so
dedicated to the vampire lifestyle...
...they perform only at night.
Method actors.
Ladies and gentle mortals,
it's feeding time.
What's that you hear?
The sound of fear
Because they're here
Vampires roaming the night
What's that you say?
Can't be, no way
They're fake?
Okay
Believe whatever you might
But when the moon is full
On a starlit night
You best all lock
your doors up light
Because, my friend
The vampires start to dance
And they're all around you
Everybody's coming to play
Oh, yes, they found you
And now they're
gonna lake you away
So watch out, lake care
Be smart, beware
Because out there
Something's waiting for you
When midnight comes,
it's time to hide
Say good night and run inside
Because that, my friend, is when
They all come out again
Oh, yes, right now is when
The vampires dance
The vampires dance.
Boo!
Yeah!
What? I'm just showing my appreciation.
We welcome you,
friends and potential blood donors.
And while we are mere performers,
be warned.
If you fear the sight of a real living
vampire, please, leave now.
That's our cue.
Too late.
And now for the first time on any stage,
we shall attempt the unheard of:
The Vampire's return from the grave.
Wow, he's very good.
Don't you guys think he's good?
Like, good?
Meh.
Behold the ancient talisman
of the immortal blood-drinkers.
Take heed, for the mortal world
shall soon be invaded.
Blackest rose, wolf and bane
Bats and crows.
That spell is from
the ancient book of vampire.
These jokers are playing
with supernatural fire.
What the...?
It's working?
Uh... Uh...
This is bad. This is very bad.
That's not Henry.
Oh, no.
Whoa.
- Next year, we're going to Miami.
- Yeah.
I was getting ready before the show
when I was attacked by that vampire.
Are you sure?
Unless you know someone else with
massive fangs and glowing green eyes.
I guess he put me under some sort of spell
and I passed out.
That resurrection chant
was from the ancient book of vampire.
Where on earth did you learn it?
Um, the Internet.
Well, I am afraid you may have unleashed
an unholy terror upon us all.
Maybe we shouldn't
jump to conclusions just yet.
Yeah, I'm sure this nice young man...
Uh, I didn't get your name. Oh.
Bram. And you are?
Bram. I mean, Daphne.
I'm not Bram, you are. Ha-ha-ha.
Oh. What were we talking about?
We were saying we don't know for sure
that Valdronya escaped from his tomb.
Oh. Uh, we should check that out.
You kids go ahead.
I'll stick around here to have a word
with the actors.
You guys can't hide forever.
Care to try us?
- No. Let's go.
- Careful.
- Unh.
- He's been bitten.
- Hmm. Maybe. Or...
We've got bigger problems.
Unh. This lid is still sealed tight.
Well, that vampire couldn't have
just walked through the glass.
The vampire queen's jewels are gone.
Jinkies.
Duck!
No, bat!
Such beauty and innocence...
...with the countenance of a queen.
My queen.
Your queen?
I don't think so.
Yeah, there's no such thing
as real vampires, until now.
There's a beast on the loose,
a spawn of the netherworld.
I say it's time we shut this foul fair down
for the good of the community.
Uh, set it up over there
by that rabble rouser.
Hello, Kelly Smith
from KDTV Action 10 News.
Looks like someone spilled the beans
about our escaped vampire.
The audience thought
it was all part of the show.
- Hope you're not implying my performers-
- I leaked it.
You? But..
This could be just the thing we need
to boost attendance.
Ah. They do say there's no such thing
as bad publicity.
That's the spirit. Now,
which would you say is my good side?
I am so relieved
that none of you kids were hurt last night.
Not physically,
but the mental wounds run deep.
Yeah, run deep.
Those foolish actors have no idea
the monster they've set loose.
We can't be certain this is their doing.
Or that we've got a real vampire
on our hands.
Did you check the museum's
security system?
Yep, the cameras recorded nothing.
System's on the fritz, but I just
can't afford to fix it right now.
Let's say it is a real vampire.
How did he escape that sealed tomb?
A living vampire can transform into mist.
All it would need
is a tiny gap in the glass.
This could all be a diversion
to steal those jewels. Just saying.
Oh, what a night.
Thanks for letting me sleep here, boss.
No problem, Daniel.
I hope you're feeling better.
Neck's a little sore,
but other than that...
The bite of the beast.
He could turn batty any second.
Doubtful. If he had been bitten
by a vampire, could he survive this?
Sunlight makes a vampire explode.
Wow, gorgeous day outside.
- Huh?
- He didn't crumble to dust.
He could be one of the rare few with
an antibody resistant to vampire venom.
Or he wasn't bitten at all.
Those look more like blisters than bites.
When you were attacked, did it feel like...
...oh, I don't know,
a thousand volts of electricity?
Uh, actually, yeah. How'd you know?
I volunteer at the police academy
on weekends.
If there's one thing I know,
it's Taser burns.
That tickles.
- Pretty good detective work, pal.
- Thanks.
Well, we also found your Taser
lying on the ground next to you.
I must've tripped and zapped myself.
Huh.
Weird.
I'd better go put that in my report.
That explains the bite marks,
but how do you explain the vampire?
So many questions.
It's quite the conundrum.
A real whodunit.
We'll need to put our heads together
on this one.
Uh-oh.
I know where this is going.
Yep, I'd say we've got a real live
boney fide mystery on our hands.
Eyewitness accounts aside...
...we've had no confirmation
of the supposed vampires' existence...
...from anyone associated with the fair.
You want confirmation?
No one is safe.
I'm here to tell you
from firsthand experience...
...that vampires bite.
So much for keeping this
on the down-low.
Gather 'round, hear me now
Listen up, 'cause I vow
There's a vampire
roaming the night
He had wings and a snout
With these fangs hanging out
That can rip and can
tear when they bite
He flew down from the skies
With those red glowing eyes
And he smiled and I knew in a sec
He had come there for me
'Cause he leaped up in glee
Then he pounced
And he bit me on the neck
Yes, I screamed and cried out
"It's a vampire!"
I escaped and ran into the light
I held up one of these
And we all saw him freeze
Then he shrieked in the night
And flew off out of sight
Be advised and be scared
Be alert, be prepared
Buy this garlic we
have here on sale
Gel a charm for your neck
We lake cash, we lake check
And ship free, COD
through the mail
How 'bout this vampire spray?
It keeps dandruff away
Sold in tonic and lotion or mist
Here, these potions we make
And this big wooden stake
At a price that you
just can't resist
We lake MasterCard, Visa and Chase
Not Discover
We're open till 9 every night
Not on Sunday
In bulk, any size
Then our discount applies
So invest in the best
Bring ID or a check
And buy one of each
Maybe two, what the heck
You can't be loo safe
When protecting your neck
From the vamp
The vampire's bile
Looks like Lita's little
press conference was good for business.
Aah! Vampire!
Where? Where?
Fred, don't tell me
you're buying into the hype.
Of course not.
Want a bite of this garlic pizza?
It has magical protective powers.
Having a vampire on the loose is the best
thing that's ever happened to this festival.
Hasn't boosted my book sales.
- It just did.
- Why, thank you, Lita.
You want it signed?
Sure, make it out to "receptacle."
Trash receptacle.
- Huh?
- Ha-ha-ha!
Hey!
It's getting so you can't find a safe place
to hide anywhere.
Vampires are all around us, people.
Now, keep alert.
You hear that, Scoob?
Let's move, move, move.
Hey, Poubelle,
I told you to get off the property.
You're scaring away the customers.
I'm here with Jesper Poubelle from the
Society for Moral and Wholesome Living.
Jesper, how can people slay safe
from vampire attacks?
They can join in our crusade of moral
righteousness against supernatural evil.
Together we can stamp out
the vampire scourge.
I've heard enough.
That guy is becoming
quite the media star.
More like milking the situation
for everything it's worth.
I think it's time
we pay Mr. Poubelle a visit.
That's right. This is
a certifiable, undeniable crisis, people.
It is high time we institute
a dusk-to-dawn curfew.
I'll keep Poubelle occupied.
You guys see what you can dig up.
...Overreacting.
But ignore this warning
and you'll be knocking on the doors to...
Shaggy, you and Scooby stand watch.
If anyone comes, tap on the door.
We're in.
Wow, what a wreck.
They may be moral and wholesome,
but they're not very clean.
We've got hundreds of reports
of vampire sightings.
Couldn't people be imagining these things
because you're causing them to panic?
I didn't create the evil.
Maybe not, but you sure seem to be eager
to take advantage of it.
Young lady, your questions
were not cleared with my staff.
Someone check her credentials.
Uh, I think I left them in the car.
Fred, I found something.
Ew, I hope it's not more spiders.
"Poubelle for mayor"?
What are you two doing back here?
- Um, uh...
- Uh... Uh...
- We're, uh...
- We're door inspectors.
Stand back. This one might explode.
Doors don't explo...
Why'd you signal?
Stay right where you are.
Run away!
Get in!
Hey, stop that thing! Stop!
Poubelle is running for office.
That explains a lot.
He's using the vampire to get attention
for his movement...
...and boost his upcoming campaign.
Still, it isn't proof
he's behind the vampire attacks.
He's just using them to his advantage.
This fog is like soup.
Maybe you should let me drive.
I'm good. Sort of enjoying it.
Daphne, look out!
Brace yourselves!
That opening is too tight.
We won't make it.
I'm telling you, Poubelle,
you can't come in here.
You're scaring off my customers.
And I'm telling you, I've got a special
dispensation from the sheriff himself.
That's right, Ms. Rutland.
By order of the court,
I have recruited these gentlemen.
We are hereby deputized
vampire hunters.
Vampire hunters, ho!
- All right.
- Let's go.
Who would actually fall
for that scaremonger's rantings?
They say there's a fraidycat
born every minute.
Ah, there you are. I got us all
neck protectors, just to be safe.
I see your point, Velma.
Hey, where are Scooby and Shaggy?
They went to the food court
to calm their nerves.
Heh. Those guys are so jumpy.
Yaah! A vampire!
The food court should be right here
behind the theater.
Unless the map is upside down.
Careful. Damage anything
and we're as good as dead.
What are you doing back here?
This is a restricted area.
We're just looking for the food court.
Uh-oh.
- We can't let them go.
- What if they tell someone...
- ...what they've seen?
- You're right.
Uh, what have we seen?
Scooby, I think we're in...
Hey, look, a Hollywood talent scout.
I think we lost them.
Huh?
We better find that food court, Scoob
Your tummy's grumbling.
Not mine.
Well, it isn't mine.
Stay back or I'll be forced to use this.
Maybe later!
I've been bitten by a vampire!
Look, Mama, a real vampire.
Incoming!
Phew. He's gone, Scoob.
And I'm a goner.
I've been bitten by a vampire.
I'll probably sprout fangs any second
and...
Is this ketchup?
Bloodsuckers!
Where?
That one shape-shifted into a dog.
Uh-oh.
- I think they mean us.
- Get them!
Appears we lost
them crafty shape-shifters.
I guess we best head back
before our torches burn out.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Oh, well. Maybe next time.
Ah. Phew. We're safe, Scoob.
Except for the fact we're lost in a swamp.
And I could turn into a vampire
at any moment.
Check out my bite. Is it bad?
Don't sugarcoat it. I know I'm done for.
You should get out of here
before I turn all bat-ified.
Uh-uh. I'm not going.
Once the vampire venom
takes hold of my system...
...there's no guarantee
I won't sink my fangs into you.
We have to split up, Scoob.
No, Shaggy. No.
It's the only way to save yourself.
Just turn away from me
and don't look back.
I can't.
I guess I'll have to do this myself.
Huh?
Goodbye, old friend.
I hope one day you'll see that
this is best for both of us.
Shaggy?
One foot in front of the other.
Don't look back. Don't ever look...
I looked back.
- Shaggy.
- Promise you'll never leave me, Scoob.
Never.
Wha...? What are you doing?
Checking for vampire symptoms.
Say "ah."
Ah.
Scoob, you're the best pal
a guy could have.
A real friend to the end.
Whenever I'm down
Right there on the ground
Lying out flat on my face
Who is the pup
Picking me up
And gelling me back in the race?
Who'll be around and watching my back
Guide me along and keep me on track?
Forever he's there
We're a pair
Scooby and me
When the going gels tough
- And things can gel
- Rough
- You're the one on whom I depend
- Who, me?
- I'll give you the proof, I'll' climb up on the--
- Roof
And shout to the world
"You're my friend!"
And when I'm a vampire
Roaming the night
Because you're my pal
I'll just lake a small bile
You're one of the greats
And we're males
Scooby and me
Oh, Scooby and me
We're gonna be together for good
That buddy of mine
If you're ever in doubt
Need me helping you out
You know that would if I got time
If you're ever in jail
And you're needing some bail
Or a friend to set you free
You can always count on me
'Cause tell me where would I be
Without you by my side
My friend and my guide
Helping to carry me through
People go by
If I live or I die
They wouldn't care, but not you
You are the one who keeps me at ease
- Giving me love and occasional fleas
- Sorry
No matter what comes
We are chums
Scooby and me
Yep.
In the interest of public safety, I am
hereby issuing a dusk-to-dawn curfew.
- No one is to be out past dark.
- Yes!
Now that is more like it.
This extreme measure is seen as a victory
for local anti-vampire crusader...
...and now mayoral candidate,
Jesper Poubelle.
Closing us down
But that isn't fair
I'm warning you all
You belle! Beware
You're messing with me
And you'll see
You're all gonna pay
Oh, I'm broke, I'm ruined
What will I do?
Oh, what happens
When the rent is due?
Oh, watch out, my friends
There's vampires on the loose
And that's why I brought the noose
You just kif fed
the golden goose
- Oh, got a show to do
- Vampires here.
- Curtain up
- Run them out of town.
Hey, Scooby-Doo.
- Opening night revue
- Bad show.
- Don't give up
- It's time to shut them down.
What would! do?
They're to blame, it's true.
Poubelle, shame on you.
We're not the same as you.
Where would I be without you?
Scooby and me We always will be.
- Together forever as friends.
- Gel out, don't want vampires.
- You are the one, second to none.
- Leave us because.
- The pal on which a buddy depends.
- We know the show goes on.
They are the ones
They're evil and bad.
Watch out for them
They're crazy and mad.
What do you do when there's vampires
Where there shouldn't be?
- Listen to me.
- You can't do this to me.
Doesn't anyone see?
Why'd this happen to me?
It's always going to be
Scooby and me
Scooby, I think we've got company.
But critics call the move shortsighted and
a slinging blow to the local economy.
It's an assault on capitalism.
Disgusting.
This is the last time I bring my fair
to this Podunk town.
Without the income from Lita's festival,
there's no way I can keep this place afloat.
I'm ruined.
We'll try to solve this mystery
before Lita packs up for good.
Thank you, Velma.
I'm really lucky to have you kids here.
Hey, guys.
I'm worried about Shaggy and Scooby.
I haven't seen them since last night.
They probably got spooked by
their own shadows and hid out all night.
I just hope the vampire didn't get them.
I highly doubt we're dealing
with a real vampire.
Show him, Daphne.
I found this in the Mystery Machine.
It's a piece of the Vampire's cloak.
I must've torn it loose
when he attacked us.
What's an old piece of fabric
gonna prove?
It's not old.
It's clearly poly-krillion, a synthetic
material first produced in 1997.
Girlfriend knows her fabrics.
So the vampire, or whatever it was,
probably isn't a thousand years old.
Oh, what a relief.
I mean, not that I thought
we were dealing with a real vampire.
That would be dumb to think that.
Actually I must confess...
...the outfit Valdronya was wearing
in his tomb was new.
How? You said he was sealed in his tomb
for a thousand years.
Yes, but his clothing
had disintegrated overtime.
We unsealed him briefly for authentication
and in the name of modesty.
Valdronya's clothing had disintegrated,
but he didn't. That's odd.
A vampire is a living being,
even in a state of slumber.
This is what's left
of his original garments.
Antique Asian silk.
Spun gold markings.
The thick hand weave.
Fabric like this hasn't been made
for 500 years.
Valdronya is still out there.
Think I'll just grab these things.
I'm afraid those actors unleashed
an unholy terror upon us all.
Yes, the actors.
Ooh. I'll go check them out.
I bet you will.
Freddy, do I detect a little
twinge of jealousy?
Me, jealous of some vitamin D-deprived,
historical vampire reenactment nuts?
Maybe I should go with you.
No, thanks.
I'm well prepared to handle Bram.
Uh... I mean, the actors. Bye.
Hmm.
Hello? Anyone in here?
Strange place for a laser projector.
Bram. Don't sneak up on a girl like that.
I wasn't the one sneaking.
You looking for something or someone?
Actually, I... Do you sleep up there?
To know the vampire,
you must become the vampire.
Hm. You're really committed.
It's the role I was meant for.
So do you lurk around
darkened theaters often?
More than you know.
Well, there's something
we have in common...
- ...right off the bat.
- Cute.
Grab on. I'll teach you to fly.
I don't know. Promise not to drop me?
Only a fool would drop a girl like you.
Smooth.
Wow, this is amazing.
It's fate that brought you here.
Destiny. A cosmic occurrence.
A vision foretold.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bram, I think you're very interesting,
but you're one clich from my limit.
Daphne.
From the moment you'd first seen us
Did you ever in your life think
You'd be standing here with me?
With this thing we have between us
I could tell that it was fate
And it was always meant to be
Yes, you and! were meant for glory
And something greater
Than this drab little world that we see
And who'd have thought that later
You and! would have this dale
A dale with destiny
I can't believe you think I'd buy that
Come on, I've heard this all before
It's just a line, I'm not naive
I really can't believe you'd try that
I've gotta say you must be nuts
To think that's something I'd believe
You lay it on there kind of heavy
With all this talk of something special
So, what could it be?
What if I say I know a way
To immortality?
Really?
You and! could live forever
You mean our lives would never end?
That's right
And we won't be aging ever?
You'd be Bram's immortal friend
- For real?
- That's the deal
- Can't you feel, it's so exciting?
- Everlasting life eternal
You've been chosen for this honor
You'll have wealth and you'll have fame
I gotta write this in my journal
Just wail and see
Everyone will know your name
- Will I slay cute?
- Absolute
We'll be going down in history
We'll be known throughout the world
Eternity for you and me
Let's live forever and ever
Yes, never to sever
Together forever, we'll be
You and me
I'm gonna have to say thanks, but no.
Points for trying though.
This makes us very unhappy.
Well, I'm sorry, but... Us?
Seize the Vampire's bride.
The what?
Where are we?
No clue, Scoob. Not that it matters.
This swamp is as good a home as any
for a vampire and his canine pal.
- Except for the leeches.
- Leeches?
But, hey, we won't let a few little leeches
spoil things, will we, Scoob?
No way.
Snake!
Gators!
Crawdads!
Snakes and gators and crawdads.
Oh, my.
I think we need a new life plan,
Scooby-Don.
Shaggy, look.
A tin shack. It's a dream come true.
Remember, Scoob, don't say anything
about me being a vampire.
Okay.
- Company? Come on in, cher. Hoo-hon!
- Whoa!
Sit you down a spell
while I put on that gumbo.
Gumbo?
Like, man, our luck has changed, Scoob.
My name's Tulie.
That's not my real name, no.
But that's what it say on the shack,
so I go with that. Hoo-hon!
Hon! Look at that right there.
Now we cooking some kind of yeah.
How come you live way out here
in the middle of nowhere?
Well, if you must know, I'm on the run.
- From what?
- Vampires!
Ooh, I hate them, me.
And if I ever catch me one,
I'm going to grind his bones for stew.
Maybe we should be going.
Stay right there.
It's gumbo time.
Ah.
Well, I wasn't always a crazy old hermit.
I used to be a handsome inventor
of fantastical devices.
Oh, yeah? What'd you invent?
Gadgets, whatchamacallits, thingamajigs.
Stuff that go:
Buzz, buzz, hoppity-hoppity, hoop!
I had me a little shop over there
at Petit Chauve Sourie Ville...
...where I sold things...
...the most popular item being a hat
with two cup holders and along straw...
...so you could have two soda pops
while you're watching that ball game.
Like, wow, ha, ha,
you invented the drinky hat?
No, but I sold them in the store.
Ain't nobody ever bought my inventions
because, like I said, they mostly just went.
Bleep, bleep, bloop, bloop,
hoop, hoop.
But then I created
the greatest invention ever:
Flying shoes.
They're based on the same principle
as a hover boat.
But the fans be pointed down
to lift you off the ground.
Whoo-whoo-whoo! There you go.
And I was all set to show them
to a big shoe company...
...when a vampire attacked me
and stole the prototypes.
Well, I filed me an insurance claim.
But it turns out
they don't cover vampire attacks.
Hoo-hon.
That's awful.
More, please.
Me too.
I was ruined, y'all.
I've been living out here
in the swamp ever since.
And that is why
I hates me them vampires.
Like, how long ago did this happen?
I don't know, long as
I've been growing these here whiskers.
Maybe two, three weeks now.
Oh, well, that's life.
You know, sometime you lose everything
on account of vampires...
...sometime you don't. Ha, ha.
How y'all like the gumbo?
Amazing.
Amazing. Mm-mm-mm.
Yeah.
That's because of my special ingredient.
Heh.
Leeches.
I likes to put them leech in the gumbo.
Leech gumbo. Yum. That's good, yeah.
Thanks for everything.
Y'all come back anytime!
Look at this. The stolen jewels are part of
some sort of vampire wedding ceremony.
The vampire bonding ritual.
According to legend, if the vampire
takes the soul of his mortal bride...
...he'll gain unbridled power.
The ceremony must take place
upon the third moon...
...following the Vampire's release
from captivity.
That's tonight.
If Valdronya succeeds,
he'll be unstoppable.
Unstoppable? Not if I can help it.
Maybe vampires were tough to catch
back in the day, but times have changed.
There's a new breed of vampire hunter
me.
Vampire hunting
is serious business, Fred.
You must be prepared for anything.
Oh, I'm prepared, all right.
Gotta watch that hair trigger.
Not so fast.
The vampire has the jewels...
...but he still needs one thing
a bride.
Not just any bride.
A mortal beauty, pure of heart.
That could take a while to find.
Hey, it's a text from Daphne.
"Been kidnapped by vampire actors.
Help!."
A mortal beauty, pure of heart.
- Daphne.
- Jinkies.
I knew those actors
were involved somehow.
According to the book...
...those who offer up the Vampire's bride
will be rewarded with immortality.
That's a heck of a finder's fee.
Any idea where they'll take her?
I saw a star chart in here pointing out
the precise coordinates of the ceremony.
We could make a copy.
- Or that.
- Let's move.
If the wedding takes place, Daphne
will become the bride of the vampire.
You know, I'm pure of heart.
Does anyone ever think
of kidnapping me? No.
Uh, Velma, focus.
Sorry.
Tonight we give Valdronya the king
his queen.
And we shall be rewarded
with eternal life as real vampires.
All hail Valdronya!
Relax, Daphne.
It's just your soul you're giving up.
Easy for you to say.
You obviously never had one.
We're close.
Stop. Did you hear that? In the trees.
Must have been my imagination.
- Hang on.
- Save yourselves.
Zoinks!
I got something. Come on.
- Shaggy?
- Nice shooting, Fred.
Scooby, what are you guys doing
in the swamp?
Yeah, don't you know
it's dangerous out here?
- Clearly.
- Yeah.
The calibration is still off.
Let's get you down from there.
Don't get too close, Velma.
I've been bitten by a vampire.
I could turn bloodsucker any second.
That's no bite. It's a splinter.
So I'm not gonna turn
into a bloodsucking weirdo?
Bloodsucker? No.
Weirdo? We're too late for that.
Fire in the hole.
Still off.
Maybe it's best if you set that thing
to net mode from now on.
The appointed hour is near, my friends.
And soon our efforts will be repaid
with immortality.
A jewel for a jewel.
You're such the charmer.
You are so lucky to be chosen.
I'm sure you'll find an evil vampire king
of your own one day.
Let the wedding ceremony begin!
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Dearly beloved
We're gathered today
To praise the one called Daphne
And give her away
Linked and joined forever
She'll be by your side
Valdronya, we present you
Your vampire bride
- Looks like we're in time for the wedding.
- Wedding?
I wish someone had told us.
We don't even have a gift.
I've got a gift right here.
- Huh?
- I don't get it.
He means we're gonna stop the wedding
from happening.
My way sounded cooler.
Hear us now, Valdronya
And come to our side
The time has come for claiming
Your vampire bride
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Behold, the king has heard our call.
This is it. Here he comes.
Bow down before your king.
Excellent work, my little vampire-lings.
Close your eyes
And come to me
When you wake
Then you shall be
Alive for all eternity
With me
Dark of the moon and
beauty so bright
Spirits arise and
call to the night
From Earth to the stars
And all that's between
Beware and behold
the vampire queen
A mortal beauty.
Your queen.
Hold it.
Hi. Uh, mind if I get a picture
of the happy couple?
That one's for the memory book.
Ha, ha. Yikes!
Daphne, you okay?
Ha, ha. Velma, you came to my wedding.
Oh, don't cry, Velma.
You won't always be a bridesmaid.
I'm not crying.
Valdronya's using gas
to hypnotize everyone.
Whatever you've gotta tell yourself.
Ha, ha.
Like, that is one unhappy groom.
Come on. I must have gotten water
in the compressor.
Keep him busy while I fix this thing.
- Aah!
- Dead end!
Whoa!
In more ways than one!
Yipe!
Ha-ha-ha. Hm?
Ahem. Here's your stupid amulet.
Nice shot.
- He-yah!
- Unh!
Actually, Velma,
I kind of wanted to keep that.
Sorry.
I'll make you all my vampire servants.
I'd say you're looking at a net loss.
I think I'll raise the stakes.
Let's see who's under that mask.
Like I've been saying all along,
there's no such thing as real vampires.
Right, Mr. Van Helsing?
Van Helsing?
But why?
He was trying to save
Petit Chauve Souris Ville...
...by staging a series
of real live vampire events.
Events tied to his latest book,
The Bride of the Vampire...
...which I actually read. It's not bad.
You really liked it?
I said it's not bad. Don't push it.
So by creating a real vampire legend,
he'd get tourists year-round.
And sell books.
It's true.
I wanted to put the Van Helsing name
back on the map.
I thought once word spread
of the ceremony...
...tourists would flock here
to see the place...
...where a real live vampire
wedding ritual had happened.
Then I would no longer need
Lita Rutland...
...and her schlocky Vampire Palooza
to make ends meet.
And what about the actors?
Merely pawns in his game.
They were so devoted to the vampire
way of life, they were easily duped.
When Valdronya first appeared, they really
thought their ritual had conjured him up.
Van Helsing used their intense belief
in vampires against them.
But Van Helsing was in the audience when
Valdronya materialized in the theater.
He used a laser projector for that.
I'd wager he planted
similar projectors in the museum...
...to give the illusion of the vampire
in the glass coffin.
Security cameras rewired for
special effects would explain a lot...
...including why there was no surveillance
footage of Valdronya's supposed escape.
When Daphne tore off a piece of modern
fabric from Valdronya's cloak...
...Mr. Van Helsing must've feared the
threads of his plot were unraveling...
...so to speak.
Looking at it now...
...I suspect he passed off ancient
fabric from his museum as a cover-up.
He staged his own demise in the swamp
using this.
Aah! Vampires!
No, a simple mechanical device
he planted in the marsh.
Probably a prop from the theater.
So when he was kicking and flailing...
He was actually triggering it.
But, like,
how did he hypnotize everyone?
Knockout gas.
No one knew what hit them.
But when they awoke,
they remembered seeing Valdronya...
...and thought he'd mesmerized them.
By gassing everyone at the wedding,
he'd slip away...
...but leave eyewitnesses to tell the
tale of Valdronya and his bride.
The actors already lived like vampires,
so they could just go on like that...
...thinking they were actually immortal.
You've really thought of everything.
Eh, it's what we do.
Daphne, I... I'm sorry
for putting you through all this.
Well, it's not every day a girl is kidnapped
to be an ancient Vampire's bride.
In a strange way, I'm flattered.
Really? Maybe after I get out of prison,
we could grab a coffee and...
Heh. Not on your life, bat boy.
I don't date actors.
Move along, fella.
Like, there's one thing
about this whole plan I don't get.
Why'd Van Helsing need us?
You were my credible witnesses.
It's one thing to have a bunch of
weirdo vampire-reenactment nuts...
...spreading my tale.
Quite another
when the story is recounted...
...by respected monster hunters
such as yourselves.
We're respected?
My family's legacy
would have been restored.
Not to mention,
you would have sold loads of books.
That too.
Wow, like, that is one elaborate plan.
And I would have gotten away with it,
if not for you meddling...
Let's go, Van Helsing.
Well, gang,
it looks like another mystery is solved.
I don't want no more ghouls
Or nothing scary
No vampire creatures
giving me a fright
No ghosts that rattle chains
Or things that eat your brains
Or monsters that go flying
Through the night
We're going on vacation
And heading somewhere new
Rest and relaxation
Is all we're gonna do
Want no more actors or kooks
Van Helsing's scheme is done
With all his vampire spooks
And now it's time to run
We're gonna be cool as cukes
Our monster days are through
No demonic beast
And nothing deceased
It's time to relax
And that's what we're gonna do
There is only one thing Scooby-Doo
and I are hoping for this vacation.
Ladies and gentle mortals,
it's feeding time.
Boo!
Sorry.
Yep.
Gel out, don't want vampires.
Leave us because.
We know the show goes on.