Scooby-Doo! The Sword and the Scoob (2021) Movie Script

1
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Do you like my toupee,
Barbarian?
Demon dogs!
He's taken a piece of
Ookla's mane
and used it
to cover his bald spot.
Why can't cat people
just grow old gracefully?
- [GROWLS]
- [GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
[THUNDARR] Ariel, Ookla! Ride!
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
- [THUDDING]
- Huh?
- [GROWLS]
- [SCREAMS]
- [ALL SCREAMING]
- [GROWLS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
There's a creature on the wing!
It's attacking the aluminum.
Shaggy!
[GRUNTS] I've got you, Scoob!
[WHIMPERING]
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Like, whatever you do,
don't look behind you.
Behind me?
No! Don't look behind you.
Well, like,
don't look down either.
That's cowardice 101, Scoob.
[WHIMPERING]
[GROWLS]
[SHAGGY] Now, Scoob!
[EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE]
[CREATURE SCREAMING]
[DAPHNE] It worked!
Come on, Velma.
Let's reel him in.
[BOTH STRAINING]
[FRED] Yeah!
[ALL WHIMPERING]
Wow. A real-life monster
here in my hangar.
I can't believe
you kids caught it.
Not an "it," Mr. HB.
[MR. HB] Herman Ellinger.
That's the rude passenger
from B17. But why?
Why? Because airline tickets
cost an arm and a leg.
I knew if I could scare
your passengers away
you'd have to lower your prices,
and I could fly almost anywhere
for practically nothing.
Yeah! Airline prices
are the real monster.
I don't think
you get discounts for...
And I would have
gotten away with it, too,
if it wasn't for you meddling
kids and that mangy mutt of yours.
Hey!
[SLURPS]
[GIGGLES]
I can't thank you kids enough.
But I still don't know
how you figured it out.
Easy. With science.
After the first sighting
of the monster, I had an idea.
I collected scraps from leftover
food served on the airplane
and cross referenced
the DNA samples
against the piece of hair
we found on the plane's wing.
Incredible.
DNA? Gee, that doesn't sound
like mystery-solving at all.
The only mystery is why anyone
would try to solve anything
without good old science
to back them up.
Say, uh,
there's two other papers here.
Oh, that's because
there were two extra people
that ate the food on the plane,
despite us asking them not to.
[BOTH CHOMPING]
Uh-oh. What'd we do?
It looks like the lab ran your
DNA test along with Ellinger's.
Are you guys curious
where your ancestors came from?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Huh? Denmark?
Well, you are a Great Dane
after all.
Emphasis on the "great."
[GIGGLING]
What about you, Shaggy?
It says my ancestors
come from a small village
in the north of England called
Norville o'er Morgania.
- Huh? What a weird name.
- Hmm.
It says here
that Norville o'er Morgania
is known to be one of the suspected
locations of the ancient city of Camelot.
Also, it says that it has the best fish
and chips in all of the United Kingdom.
- Fish?
- And chips?
[SLURPS]
[BOTH DROOLING]
Those were fries,
but I'm still on board.
I wish we could go, gang.
But we didn't go into
mystery solving for the money.
Well, Daphne was right
on one account.
Airline prices
are the real monster.
Well, it's lucky
I have an airline then.
What do you mean, Mr. HB?
[CHUCKLES]
What do I mean?
You just saved my whole airline
from bankruptcy.
I'll fly you and your friends
anywhere you wanna go, free of charge.
It's the least I can do.
Well, gang, I guess we're
headed to jolly old England.
[ALL CHEERING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[FRED] That sure
was nice of Mr. HB
to ship over
the Mystery Machine.
It sure was.
Say, Fred, the map says you were
supposed to make a left back there.
Map? [CHUCKLES] Oh, Daphne,
Jones men don't need maps.
We were born with
an innate sense of direction.
We were made for the open road.
- [GASPS] Fred!
- [HORN BLARING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Fred, you do know
that they drive
on the left side of the road
in England, right?
Boy. They built
the roads wrong...
Is this the one where the toilet
water goes the wrong way, too?
Say, look at that.
See? I told you
I knew where we were going.
[DAPHNE] Fred!
[FRED] I got it.
Just testing you.
[FRED] Wow. It looks like
they're about to have a party.
[CHUCKLES] Good timing.
Party?
Oh, man. That means...
[BOTH] Party food!
[SHAGGY] "Fish and chips.
Bangers and mash. Toad in the hole."
[GIGGLES]
"Welsh rarebit. Spotted dick.
Jam roly-poly."
Are these real?
I guess. "Bubble and squeak.
Jellied eels. Angels on horseback."
[MIMICS EXPLOSION SOUND]
[SHAGGY] It's like
a whole new world of food.
Like, Scoob and I
are gonna go grab a snack.
We'll be right back.
This place is kind of a dump, gang.
Like, run-down.
Some of the architecture is
left over from medieval times.
Dudes, the place we're staying is all that
remains standing of the Kingdom of Camelot.
Camelot? Like King Arthur?
Merlin? Knights of the Round Table?
We're standing on history.
Weren't you just calling
this place a dump?
Yeah, but now it's a dump
where knights lived.
There's very little evidence that
Camelot or King Arthur even existed.
[MR. SAUNDERS] Oh, but he did.
That's what we're celebrating.
Hi. I'm Mr. Saunders,
the mayor of this fine city,
and this here is my assistant,
Sandi.
- Hello.
- Nice to meet you.
I'm Daphne, and these are my
friends, Velma and Fred.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you, too.
You seemed awfully sure that
King Arthur really existed.
How can you be certain?
Because of our name, of course.
Norville o'er Morgania.
You don't know the story?
Well, not many do.
But never fear.
Soon, everyone will.
It all began a long time ago,
right here, on the site of Camelot.
That's right.
The good King Arthur
came under attack by
the villainous Morgan Le Fey.
Everything seemed bleak until a
brave knight appeared. Sir Norville.
Known for his fearlessness,
this knight fought the evil
witch and saved Camelot.
Witches? Wizards? Come on.
Those stories
came out of the Dark Ages,
where nothing
could be accounted for.
A disbeliever. That's okay.
Stay in this town a little while
and you'll experience
the magic yourselves.
The Mayor has worked really hard
to make this
the greatest celebration ever.
We have horse races,
archery demonstrations,
an unbelievable light show
and even a pie-eating contest.
Did someone say pie eating?
[CHUCKLES]
And who is this?
My name's Shaggy,
and this is my pal, Scooby-Doo.
- Hello.
- Nice to meet you.
[VELMA] Shaggy's actually
the reason we're here.
It turns out that Shaggy's ancestors
are from Norville o'er Morgania.
Norville is a Shaggy name.
Yeah. My name's Norville.
Surname Rogers.
But, uh, nobody calls me "Sir."
That's my dad's name.
Oh, really? You're sure?
He's been a Norville his whole
life, and the DNA test proves it.
Norville's a name
that's been handed down
in our family, like...
Like, forever.
[CHUCKLES]
Just like this medallion.
My mom gave it to me for luck.
[BELL TOLLING]
Luck, indeed.
We thought we'd look around.
Who knows? Maybe Shaggy's
ancestors left him something.
I'm hoping for some sort of
medieval pizza.
Or jellied eels. [SLURPS]
Yes. Well, we have to be going.
- It can't be.
- [MR. SAUNDERS] Sandi.
[WHISPERING] You'll never guess
what just happened...
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[WHISPERING]
Did you hear...
- That was strange.
- Small towns are weird.
Remember that time
you dyed your hair blond
and everyone in that little
northeastern town was talking about it?
Oh, yeah. Being blond was
definitely not more fun that day.
And then they all turned into
fish people and tried to eat us.
That's less of
a "small town thing"
than it is
a "Scooby Gang thing."
Come on.
The library is this way.
How do you know?
The same way Scooby and Shaggy
always know where the food is.
[SHAGGY]
I don't know, Scooby-Doo.
Are you getting that same sort
of haunted vibe as I am?
Uh-huh.
Doesn't everything give you
the haunted vibe?
It's called
managing expectations.
[VELMA] Don't worry, guys.
The only thing scary about this library
is it still uses the Dewey Decimal System.
Yes, I understand. Goodbye.
[SCOFFS] Unbelievable.
Next thing you're gonna tell me,
they put the horror and
romance section side by side.
[GASPS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi. I was wondering...
Shh! This is a place of study.
Use your library voice, please.
Of course. I'm sorry.
Is it just me
or is this place dead?
Shh!
We were visiting and wondered
if you can point us to the books
on the history of your town.
[SIGHS] Near the back,
past the horror and romance section.
Next to the horror
and romance section?
Sure. Because those genres
are so similar.
Exactly.
But you'll need to hurry. We're closing
in 20 minutes for the big party.
Why we should be celebrating such a
preposterous story, I'll never know,
but one must do
what one must do.
Okay. We'll be quick.
Thank you.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
Hand luggage... Hobnockers...
Hypermarkets... Ham hocks...
Ooh. You can never know enough
about a subject you love.
Here it is. History of Sir
Norville and Morgan Le Fey.
[WIND BLOWING]
[ALL EXCLAIM]
Huh? [SHUDDERING]
That can't be good.
It never is.
This seems to be
some kind of storybook.
Hmm.
[FAIRYTALE MUSIC PLAYS]
[VELMA] "Once upon a time,
there was a great ruler named King Arthur.
But this king was under attack
from the evil Morgan Le Fey.
She demanded the throne
from King Arthur,
but he would not give it up
to one as evil as her.
Everything was hopeless
until Sir Norville appeared.
Brandishing the mighty sword
Excalibur,
Norville, through
a mighty tournament,
became the rightful ruler
of Camelot.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
But no sooner
did he gain the throne
than Morgan Le Fey
attacked again.
Norville was whisked away
to Morgan's castle
where the two were
never heard from again.
King Arthur decreed that if Sir
Norville or his children ever returned,
he would be crowned the rightful
ruler over all the land."
[SCOFFS] No wonder it
was called the Dark Ages.
Can you imagine
anyone believing such a story?
Ha! Right, gang?
Scooby? Shaggy?
[SHAGGY] Is the story over?
What do you know? The book was right.
This is a great hiding place.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Hey. Where's the party?
[WIND BLOWING]
If ever you see a party not happening,
that means you're the party.
Come on, gang.
Let's heat this place back up.
[SNAPPING FINGERS]
- [SHAGGY GIGGLES]
- [BOTH BEAT BOXING]
Come on. If you dance it,
they will come.
- [BEAT BOXING CONTINUES]
- No.
- [THUNDERCLAP]
- [ALL GASP]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
It's working.
Come on, party people.
Like, don't party people
usually arrive by land?
Not if it's a skydiving party.
Excuse me. Are you
the skydiving instructor?
I am Morgan Le Fey,
rightful ruler of Camelot.
And if it wasn't for meddling Sir
Norville, I would be ruler still.
Why is she pointing at me?
Are you not
the skydiving instructor?
Now, I shall finally
have my revenge!
[VELMA] You'll have to
catch us first.
[VELMA] Come on, gang!
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
A-ha!
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
That was so not a party person.
What was that thing?
She said she was the ghost of Morgan
Le Fey, but that's just preposterous.
On a scale of one to...
[SCREAMS]
How preposterous
did you think it was?
Check it out, gang.
It's an old henge.
A circle of stones that once held
some sort of mystical significance.
Look at that.
Wow! Who do you think that is?
It says this is the statue of
the legendary Sir Norville.
- [WHOOSHING]
- [ALL GASP]
Did someone say "Sir Norville"?
I despise Sir Norville.
Well, good news, man.
I'm not him.
I'm Shaggy, and, like,
everyone loves me.
No joke.
There is no time for love.
Only retribution.
- [ALL GROAN]
- I invoke sorcery's paradigm.
With this eldritch and mystical
rhyme, I'll leave them bipedal,
but teach them to meddle and send
their butts backward in time.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
I'm scared, Shaggy.
[YAWNS] Me too, buddy.
Is anyone else getting a bit...
[YAWNS] tired?
- [VELMA YAWNS]
- [YAWNS] Tired? Oh, yeah.
[CACKLING]
[ALL MOANING]
[ALL YAWNING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[MORGAN CACKLING]
[MORGAN CACKLING]
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
Shaggy, where are we?
Like, I don't know, man.
Shaggy, Scooby, grab my hand.
[GRUNTS WEAKLY]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[MIMICKING AIRPLANE SOUND]
We appear to be falling at the
standard 9.8 meters per second
as dictated by the Earth's
gravity, but where's the ground?
Skydiving's not a party, man.
I found the ground!
[ALL SCREAMING]
Brace for impact!
[BOTH] Huh?
Did we make it in one piece?
[GRUNTING]
I can't feel my legs.
Like, I can feel my legs,
but I can't feel my fingers feeling them.
[BOTH WHIMPERING]
[DAPHNE GIGGLES]
Where are we?
[GROANS]
No bars. We should've gotten
the international plan.
Did I leave my curling iron on
in 1,600 years?
Morgan Le Fey
cast a spell on us.
Oh, come on.
I'm sure that was just some
kids playing some kind of prank.
Velma, look around.
You're telling me that there's
no way time travel could happen?
[VELMA] Well, I mean, wormholes,
black holes, Tipler cylinders.
But these are cosmic-level
events we're talking about.
So, like not fantasy, but science fiction?
Like Thundarr?
No. Thundarr's more
dumb fantasy than sci-fi.
But you like Thundarr.
I like Thundarr's abs, okay?
I watch it for the abs.
Me too.
So, wait. We time-traveled?
Welp, gang, it looks like we
have another mystery on our...
No. Not a mystery.
It's a hoax.
Then how did we time-travel?
We did not time-travel.
This is a prank,
or a Japanese game show.
We all just need to chill
and take a deep breath...
[ALL BREATHING DEEPLY]
...and hold our horses.
- [HORSE WHINNIES]
- [EXCLAIMS]
[ALL LAUGHING]
- Hmm.
- [SCOOBY-DOO AND SHAGGY LAUGH]
You gotta admit,
Velma's usually right about this stuff.
Let's all just wait here
a bit and see what... Gang.
Gang. Gang. Gang. Gang.
Gang.
- [SHAGGY AND DAPHNE GASP]
- It's real.
[SHAGGY AND SCOOBY-DOO GASP]
[JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING]
This can't be real.
It doesn't make sense.
This shouldn't be possible.
If I'd known I was gonna time-travel,
I'd have brought my good ascot.
I keep telling y'all,
reality is just a simulation.
Now's not the time
to worry about what's real.
That time is in, like, hundreds and
hundreds of years, where we should be.
Well, gang, it looks like we
have another mystery on our...
Ah, just you wait.
Any second now,
someone's going to pop out
and yell "Surprise"
or blow a horn.
[HORN BLOWING]
Ha! Horn!
Hear ye! Hear ye!
I, Herald of the court,
doth ask you to bow
before the King of Camelot.
The lord of the land.
The knight of the...
[KING ARTHUR]
Oh, get on with it.
- Yes. Um...
- [CAT MEOWS]
Peasants and serfs, I give you
King Arthur and Queen Guinevere.
[PEASANTS CHEERING]
Ohh. He's kinda hunky.
I guess, if you're into
authoritarian dictators.
He kinda reminds me of my dad.
[EXCLAIMS]
Sorry. Sorry. New cape.
Haven't broken it in yet.
[PEASANTS EXCLAIMING]
Say, he sure looks familiar.
Unwashed common people, I, your king,
and my brave Knights of the Round Table
have with great effort and sacrifice
finally defeated the villainous Saxons
and brought peace to the isles.
[WOMAN]
I love your hair.
So, I'm throwing a party!
[CHEERING]
Uh... It's not a party
for you lot.
It's for me. The rightful king
of the Britons,
who made you the proud people
you are today.
Back straight. Chin up.
Mind the gap.
Now, I'm going to have
my Knights of the Round Table
come around
and collect some taxes.
[PEASANTS BOOING]
Come on. Pony up.
Oh, and, Lancelot,
I'll take that pony.
He is like your dad.
A big meanie.
The unwashed common people don't
seem to like him very much.
[GASPS] Oh, my gosh.
You're right, Daph.
All right. Good talk.
- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
- Oh!
Oh, not again.
Greetings, Arthur.
It is I, Morgan Le Fey.
Come to take my rightful place
as ruler of Camelot.
[SCREAMING]
Like, it's her!
[SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERING]
Wend home to Avalon,
vile enchantress.
You call your folk fair,
yet I judge you anything but.
Oh, my gosh. Really? Really?
Ah. Ah, sorry. Sorry.
I had butter for lunch.
Cede the throne to me,
son of Uther Pendragon,
and I shall spare
your miserable life.
Uh, my life is amazing, FYI.
Yeah. Shazing.
And also, I'm hiding
behind my knights.
You'd have to literally
tear them apart to get to me.
[LAUGHS SHEEPISHLY]
Well, if you won't give me the
throne, I'll just have to take it.
- [GUARDS EXCLAIM]
- Oh!
[QUEEN SCREAMS]
[EXCLAIMS]
King down. King down, everyone.
[LAUGHS]
[EXCLAIMING]
[ALL GASP]
[ALL] Huh?
- [PEASANTS SCREAMING]
- [MORGAN LAUGHS]
[LAUGHING]
Soon you will all bow before
me, your true queen!
[LAUGHS]
[BOTH] Huh?
It's just like the book
we read in the library.
What do you mean?
Remember when Velma was like,
"Blah blah blah.
Morgan Le Fey kept on annoying
Norville o'er Morgania"?
That's right.
Until Sir Norville appeared.
Sir Norville.
- That's it!
- Huh? What's it?
Why are you looking
at me like that?
Because maybe Sir Norville is
actually Shaggy sent back in time.
Me? A knight?
With this goatee?
Besides, I don't look
anything like the statue.
Oh, so now you're on the
time-travel train too, Velma?
You said it yourself, Daphne.
Science fiction.
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
We do seem to have
traveled in time.
We just need to find out how.
You can say it now.
Well, gang, it looks like we have
another mystery on our hands.
If we're in the distant past,
then we're currently living out the
legend we read about in the future.
Oh, my brain hurts.
And if we're responsible
for the legend,
then we have to do
exactly what it said,
or otherwise we'll mess up
the timeline,
which could cause us
to cease to exist,
or worse, the whole universe may
implode in a quantum paradox.
I'm telling you,
reality's a simulation, girl.
The universe can't implode
'cause it isn't even real.
Daphne, you're not helping
my stomach.
I look at you guys
and I just see
zero-one, one-one-zero-
one-one-one-zero.
Daph. Daph.
Hand me your phone.
Look.
As long as the lock-screen
picture stays the same,
then it means we haven't
changed the timeline.
So, all we have to do is keep
to the legend and we'll be fine.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, what do we do next?
I've got an idea, but we're going to
need to find more appropriate attire
so we don't stick out
like sore thumbs.
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
[JUGGLER] Oh! [GROANS]
[LAUGHS] Funniest thing
I've seen all night.
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Presenting Sir Norville of
Crystal Covia and his entourage.
[TRUMPETS PLAYING FANFARE]
Like, I, Sir Norville
of Crystal Cove...
Ia!
Crystal Covia,
do present myself before thy king.
Crystal Covia? Hmm.
Sounds very new-agey.
Very "witchy."
Where is it? What do they wear?
Is it clothes?
Uh, Crystal Covia lies
far across the sea.
We have great treasures,
like malt shops and Taco Tuesdays.
- And...
- Taco Wednesdays.
Taco Wednesdays.
And yes, we mostly wear clothes.
But sometimes also food.
They're slobs.
This sounds like witchcraft
to me. Right? Eh? Am I right?
[BOTH MUTTER]
Yeah, yeah. All right then.
Show it to me.
Let's see it. Bring it on.
Show me the witchcraft.
Your Highness, there is
no such thing as...
I know witchcraft.
Where I'm from, I was
taught by 1,000 sand-witches.
[SCOOBY-DOO GIGGLES]
[SHAGGY] And I'd like to
put you under the spell
of a beast from 1,500 years
in your future.
The Hoagie!
Scooby, let's make history.
Now, all we need
is a knife to cut it with.
[SCOOBY-DOO] Shaggy.
That'll work perfectly.
I love your knife holder.
Very rustic.
[ALL GASP]
And, like, that's what I call
a Super Shaggy Sandwich.
[LAUGHS]
Whoa. Hey, I know it's an amazing
sandwich, but come on.
It's just like the legend.
You just pulled Excalibur
from the stone.
That makes you
the rightful heir to Camelot.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Whoa there, buster.
Pump the horse brakes,
all right?
Pulling an old hunk of metal from
a rock doesn't make one a leader.
It literally says,
"Whosoever pulls the sword
from the stone shall be
the rightful king of Camelot."
You come in here with
your sand-witchcraft,
steal my sword, and try
to take my throne as well?
That, good sir, or madam,
is just plain rude.
I ought to give you a taste
of Camelot's just desserts.
[DAPHNE] Hold on, boys.
There has to be
a way we can settle this.
- I'm cool with pie.
- Oh, we will.
We will settle this. Like men!
[MERLIN] Hold!
Huh?
Who's that?
It's me. I'm Merlin.
[SHAGGY AND SCOOBY-DOO] Merlin?
Merlin? Where?
[ALL GASP]
Ah, yes. Me again.
I'm Merlin the Magician,
master of knowledge and mystical secrets.
Merlin, you're always spoiling
my fun. Just like my mum.
- Beard and all.
- Hmm.
If there's one thing
I can't stand,
it's adulty people
acting like children.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
[EXCLAIMS]
All this noisy arguing is
what brought me down here.
I'm a busy wizard
and I need to focus, right?
Sorry, Mr. Merlin.
But our friend Shaggy here pulled the
sword from the stone, so technically...
[GROANING]
Yeah. How can there be
two kings at one time?
Uh, well, there can't be, can there?
Hmm? You bunch of numpties.
You gotta solve this like
the adulty people you are.
With a winner-take-all melee
for the crown!
Hear ye! Hear ye!
To determine the true king,
the prospects must test
their skill upon one another.
The champion becoming
the king of Camelot!
[CHEERING]
Like, I'm gonna have to compete?
Because, to be honest,
I'm pretty sure you could take me.
[LAUGHS]
We're nobility.
Nobility doesn't
fight one another.
We get the unwashed commoners
to fight on our behalf.
[BOTH] Phew.
Us, sweating? Waving our arms around?
Can you imagine?
Drumstick?
Looks like you boys
have got this sorted.
There's a whole arsenal
down there to choose from.
[ALL CHANTING]
Arsenal! Arsenal! Arsenal!
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
[EXCLAIMS]
Right then.
Let's get down to it.
I choose, uh, Sir Galahad.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Um, I choose...
Hold on, mate.
I'm not done yet.
Sir Percival, Sir Tristan,
Gawain, Sir Kay, Sir Kay, Sir...
[SHAGGY] What if... Could I...
I was... Could I, please...
[KING ARTHUR] Bedivere,
Sir Kay...
- Sir...
- And I want that pony.
[PONY WHINNIES]
- [SHAGGY] I'll take...
- [KING ARTHUR] Um...
- Bors the Younger.
- [SHAGGY] It would be great...
[KING ARTHUR] Sir Lamorak...
- [SHAGGY] I choose...
- And...
Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
[GRUNTS]
Fine. I guess. Sir Lancelot.
Yes!
[SHAGGY GULPS]
Like, I'd like a knight
to fight for right,
but there isn't one in sight.
I, Fred of Ascot,
do volunteer to fight
on Sir Norville's behalf.
Are you sure
you're up for this, Fred?
You're a big tough guy,
but those are
crazy-ripped man-men.
For sure, Daph.
As long as you're there
to cheer me on, we'll be fine.
Besides, the way I figure it,
according to legend, we've already won.
What's there to be afraid of?
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
The Black Plague. Deranged highwaymen.
Giant brown bears.
Dysentery.
Armies of angry orcs...
[CROWD CHEERING]
Just the one, eh? [LAUGHING]
At least your mum thinks
you're cool. [LAUGHS]
Come on, Velma. Find a way
to get us out of here.
I'm on it. If anyone knows
what's up here, it's Merlin.
[GROWLING]
[GROWLING CONTINUES]
[VELMA EXCLAIMS]
[GROANS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[GROWLING]
[GASPING]
[BURPS]
[MERLIN EXCLAIMS]
- Merlin?
- Oh. Hello.
Sorry. I didn't hear you come
in over my burping fire and all.
Um, I've come seeking knowledge.
Oh. You must be my sister Karen's friend.
I can teach you.
- Uh...
- Oh, that's fantastic.
You know, Karen's the one
that gave me the idea.
She's like "Can you breathe
fire?" And I'm like "Yes."
And then she's like,
"But can you belch the alphabet?"
And I'm like,
"Oh, my gosh. Yes, I can."
Why has no one ever combined
these two things before? [LAUGHS]
[BURPING] A, B, C, D, E,
F, G.
I'm getting stuck on the G.
Hey, Merlin, or whoever you want
to call yourself, I'm having a day.
[CHUCKLES] That's what
tea's for, my darling.
I think you might have
a time machine or something.
- A device...
- [GRUMBLES]
Okay.
Maybe you call it "magic."
Whatever it is,
I need to learn how to use it
so I can send my friends
and myself back home.
Oh. So you want to be
a sorcerer's assistant, huh?
To learn the arcane secrets what
make the world turn like a platter.
Then this is where your quest
for knowledge begins.
Uh, what am I supposed
to do with this?
When the time comes,
you will know what to do with it.
Can't I just have access
to your time machine?
Oh. Is that all you wanted?
I call it a "sun dial."
Ugh. I'm gonna need magic
just to get through this day.
Well, how do I look?
Like my knight in shining armor.
Mine, too.
Thanks, Scoob.
Well, time to go.
Oh, I think not.
Morgan!
- Why, I ought to...
- Freeze!
I... I can't move.
Let him go.
Don't worry.
It's only temporary.
But long enough
to stop him from competing.
Now nothing can stop me from
taking the throne from Arthur.
[CACKLES]
- What are we gonna do?
- Fred can't joust like this.
He'll have to forfeit,
and King Arthur will win,
which means we might...
Poof. Disappear.
No. We have to give Velma
more time to figure things out.
I've got a plan.
A plan so crazy it might just work.
[CROWD] Fred! Fred! Fred!
Uh, where's your knight?
Uh, I don't know.
[TRUMPETS PLAYING FANFARE]
[PEASANTS EXCLAIMING]
[FEMALE PEASANT] Is that
a lady on a horse?
Is that a non-man?
No. That's Daphne.
Where's Fred?
Felled by dark magic.
I'm standing in.
A non-man
doing sporty man things?
That's a laugh, isn't it?
Ha! Well, Norville,
after you lose,
maybe I can find a job
for you on my staff.
What are your thoughts
on waste removal?
I've got a few
ripe buckets of...
Actually, King Arthur,
in my land, non-men...
Uh, women can do whatever
they put their minds to.
And some of them
are pretty scary.
[CROWD CHEERING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[BOTH SHUDDERING]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[GROANS]
[ALL CHEERING]
[DAPHNE GROANS]
[EXCLAIMS]
- [FRED] Smite him, Daph!
- [GASPS]
Smite that knight
right in the snoot.
Daphne! Daphne!
[CROWD] Daphne! Daphne! Daphne!
Daphne, look out!
[EXCLAIMING]
You fight like a girl,
so I'll go easy on you.
[DAPHNE GASPING]
[GRUNTS]
Oh, I was just dodging.
Was I supposed to be fighting?
Look, little girl, first off,
you're skinny as a...
[DAPHNE EXCLAIMS]
- Stick.
- Don't worry.
Those dents will buff right out.
- [SHAGGY LAUGHING]
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
Lancelot just got beat
by a girl! [LAUGHING]
That's a point for you.
But so worth it.
- Cheese?
- Cheese.
[SHAGGY] Mmm.
[PEASANTS CHEERING]
Sir Daphne, you're my
knight in shining armor.
[PEASANTS] Daphne! Daphne!
[PEASANTS CHEERING]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[PEASANTS CHEERING]
[PEASANTS CHEERING]
Rah! Huzzah!
Yes!
[PEANUT VENDOR] Peanuts.
Anybody want peanuts?
Gimme two.
I don't carry money.
[GROANS]
[BOTH CHEERING]
[GROANING]
This is it. He's the last
knight on Arthur's side.
I want Daph to win, but, you know,
I also kinda want her to lose.
Go get him, Daph.
Here. For luck.
Go get him, Daphne.
Oh. I can't look.
[HORSES WHINNY]
[GRUNTING]
[PEASANTS CHEERING]
[FRED LAUGHS]
[BOTH] Oh, no.
- I won!
- You won!
[BOTH] Ugh! This is the worst
thing that's ever happened.
[MORGAN] At last!
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
Now, with the king chosen, I have
sent an emissary to bring him to me.
- [SCOOBY-DOO GASPS]
- [FRED EXCLAIMS]
As I perform this ancient rite,
it will cause a big, terrible fight.
As swords clash and clang,
you'll go out with a bang!
As you're slain by my wicked Black Knight!
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
[GROWLS]
Like, what is that?
That is your doom.
Black Knight, attack!
[BLACK KNIGHT GRUNTING]
Well, that's a bit excessive.
[SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERS]
[GASPS]
[BLACK KNIGHT GRUNTING]
Huh?
Finish her!
[VELMA] Not so fast.
[CHEERING]
Velma, you're back.
And you've learned the wizarding ways.
Look. She's got
magic pajamas.
Yeah, Merlin gave
me these robes,
but I didn't learn
squat up there.
- [BLACK KNIGHT GROWLING]
- Magic is nonsense.
I'm here to save you the new-fashioned way.
With science.
[GROWLS]
It's all about physics.
Abra-ka-whatever-
fantasy-nerds-say.
[GOAT BLEATS]
- [GOAT BLEATS]
- [ARCHER GROANS]
[GASPS]
An object in motion stays in motion
with the same speed and direction...
[CHICKEN CLUCKS]
[EXCLAIMS]
[GOAT BLEATS]
[VELMA] ...unless acted
upon by an unbalanced force.
It's all you, Daph.
Let's unmask our villain.
Shaggy, the sword.
The sword?
Daph, catch! [GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
[VELMA] And the Black
Knight is actually...
[GROWLS]
Gross.
[ROARS]
Anyone have a spare helmet?
Or, like, a paper bag?
[BLACK KNIGHT GROWLING]
Oh, come on. Come on, come on.
Gimme a break.
[SIGHS] I can't believe
I'm doing this.
"When apprentices
fail at their quest,
and they just didn't
give it their best.
When there's trouble with
magic, don't let it turn tragic.
Just call Merlin.
He's at your behest."
Is all magic limericks?
Ooh. Looks like we've gotten ourselves
into a bit of a barney, haven't we? Hmm?
Heh. Barney.
Like Barney Rubble.
It rhymes with trouble.
Wait. How do you know about Barney Rubble?
He's from the future.
He's a caveman.
- [BLACK KNIGHT GROWLS]
- [DAPHNE GRUNTS]
Merlin! Help!
Oh, bother.
[GROANS]
- [GASPS, GROWLS]
- Whoa!
How do I learn how to do that?
He says it's magic.
But I'm building a case
that he's actually
some sort of super-genius
from the 27th century.
Ray guns.
Molecular transportation.
[HUMMING]
Or, you know...
Ah, young apprentice.
You must study even harder if
you're to become a proper wizard.
Study what? The stuff in
this book is nonsense.
I just want to
time-travel back home.
This is all just bad
limericks and gobbledygook.
To a wizard, gobbledygook is
the most important kind of gook.
When the time is right, young lad,
you'll know just how to use that book.
But, please, Merlin.
I just have to...
[BURPS]
[BOTH COUGHING]
Second-hand wizard.
Ought to be illegal.
What a show that guy puts on.
- [COUGHING]
- Come on.
We just want to use
your time-travel machine
so we can go home and watch
Thundarr the Barbarian.
Ugh! Timeline.
[SIGHS] Wizard-speak for
"I promise to study harder."
I guess that's that.
I think not!
Like, what's happening, man?
- [THUNDER RUMBLES]
- [SHAGGY WHIMPERS]
[MORGAN] Since you are the rightful
king, then you are mine.
Farewell, you miscreants.
When next we meet,
it will be your doom!
[SCOOBY-DOO] Shaggy!
[SOBBING]
Don't worry, Scoob.
We'll get him back.
We better hurry. Look.
Our future is fading
out of existence.
If we don't find out where Shaggy
went, we'll cease to be,
creating a time paradox
that will destroy the world.
[SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERS]
Ooh, ooh, ooh. I know this one.
Uh, I know where he went.
To Morgan's Keep.
Not far from here.
Really creepy.
And there's a gauntlet
of deadly traps
before you can even get inside.
Did someone say traps?
[GULPS] Deadly traps?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Deadly traps.
Awesome. Good luck.
Hope you get your mate back.
He's your friend, too.
[EXCLAIMS] I don't need a mate.
I'm a king. I have hoagies.
Uh, hoagies!
How can you eat
at a time like this?
Yeah. Even Scooby knows that when a friend's
in trouble, you drop everything for them.
Even snacks.
I told you. Shaggy's not my...
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Shaggy is my mate.
Or the closest I've got to one.
My whole life is a lie. [SOBS]
So you'll join the Scooby
Gang while we rescue him?
No. Are you mad? I'm not leaving this
castle without a bunch of knights.
Oh, no. I think
I broke them all.
[ALL GROANING]
[SCOOBY-DOO] Hmm.
[KING ARTHUR] I've got it.
Um, kneel.
I, Arthur Pendragon,
King of Camelot,
and the rightful
wielder of Excalibur,
do dub thee Knights
of the Round Table.
- Let's go and save our mate.
- [PEASANTS CHEERING]
[FEMALE PEASANT]
I love your hair!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[VELMA] So, this is it?
Huh. That's strange.
[DAPHNE] What, Velma?
Oh, nothing. I just could have
sworn we've been here before.
Oh, you would remember if you had.
Welcome to Morgan's Keep.
This cave leads down
into the bowels of the Earth,
where Morgan Le Fey
practices her dark magic.
- [SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERS]
- [VELMA] Don't be scared, Scooby.
Remember, we're here
to save Shaggy.
Say, Arthur, how are we going
to get across that moat?
[VELMA] Well, that's not creepy.
There. Down that corridor.
What are we waiting for?
[DAPHNE] Whoa!
Oh, it's the gauntlet
of deadly traps.
Oh, right. I forgot.
Velma, can you get us across with
your powers as a student wizard?
I can try.
[SIGHS] So silly.
[CLEARS THROAT]
"I call on the powers of fable to
make passage for knights of the table.
For this evil hallway
will attempt to fillet,
cook or smash us
as long as it's able."
- Did it work?
- I don't know.
[DAPHNE GASPS]
I guess not.
Well, we gave it a good go.
If we head back now, we'll be just
in time for tea and jellied eels.
We can't leave.
Then what are we gonna do?
You're the master of traps, Fred.
You can figure this out.
[GRUNTS]
[STRAINING]
[STRAINING]
[STRAINING]
Am I a wizard?
No. Am I an artist?
I, uh, hadn't really
thought about it.
Sorry. What does
this do again?
I used the bow we brought
with us to make a trebuchet
that will throw a stone through
the hallway, pulling the sled,
which will slide us past the traps
before they're able to do anything.
It's an antitrap trap.
Brilliant. We're all gonna die.
- Ready, gang?
- [TOGETHER] Ready!
[ALL EXCLAIM]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
- [SCREAMING]
- [SCOOBY-DOO EXCLAIMS]
[GASPS]
[EXCLAIMS]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[EXCLAIMS]
[KING ARTHUR YELLS]
Well, and Bob's your uncle.
We made it.
Sir Fred, you are
a regular anorak.
Actually, I think I'm half-Dutch
or Norway-ese or something.
- [KING ARTHUR YELLS]
- Huh?
[GRUNTING]
[STRAINING]
I knew you could do it.
[LAUGHS]
Thanks, guys, but come on.
We've gotta save Shaggy.
[KING ARTHUR YELLS]
Huh?
[GRUNTS]
[LOUD MUNCHING]
Sorry. What's that
horrible noise?
- More deadly traps?
- It's Shaggy.
[SCOOBY-DOO GIGGLES]
- [SCOOBY-DOO EXCLAIMS]
- [SHAGGY LAUGHS]
Scooby-Doo. It's great
to see you, pal.
- Shaggy, are you all right?
- I am now that you're here.
Hors d'oeuvres?
Come on. We gotta
get out of here.
He has a point. Waste not, want not.
That's what I always say.
Stand back.
- [MUNCHING LOUDLY]
- Oh.
[EXCLAIMS]
[GRUNTING]
- [MEOWS]
- [COINS JINGLING]
- Now can we go?
- Yep. Food's gone.
[BURPS]
It's too late.
The picture. It's gone.
Whatever we did,
we just made the timeline worse.
Now the phone
isn't even working,
as if the technology
itself was disappearing.
We've failed.
[MORGAN] Right, you are!
[EXCLAIMS]
Ha! Finally!
Now with Excalibur in my hand
and Sir Norville having granted
me the deed to the throne...
Deed to the throne?
Yes. For as much food
as he could eat.
[LAUGHS] It's all here.
Legal and everything.
Shaggy, you didn't?
Why would I want
a seat on the throne
when I've got some tea and a scone?
[LAUGHS]
Now, with this deed
and the sword,
I am the rightful ruler
of all of Camelot. [LAUGHS]
[SHAGGY] Huh?
Only if you can hold onto it.
You think you can
defeat me? [LAUGHS]
I am the greatest
sorceress of all time,
but this battle
is going to drag on.
Drag on. Get it?
This is my dumb little joke,
since you all seem to like
making dumb little jokes so much.
Uh-oh.
I don't like this pun.
[SCOOBY-DOO GASPS]
- [ALL GASP]
- Dragon!
Uh-oh. Oh.
That's not good.
- Oh! Oh!
- [DRAGON ROARS]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[ROARS]
I am Morgan Le Fey, ruler of
Camelot, and I am hungry.
- [SHAGGY EXCLAIMS]
- [SCOOBY-DOO EXCLAIMS]
[DRAGON ROARS]
Guys, this table
is built really well,
but I don't think
it can take another blast.
We're gonna need some real
magic to get us out of this one.
Have you gotten good yet, Velma?
No. But I know one word that
always works for this gang.
[ROARS]
- What's that?
- Run! Follow me!
Like, if you can't take the heat,
get out of the dragon's lair. [WHIMPERS]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[DRAGON ROARING]
You cannot escape me!
[WHIMPERING]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[FRED EXCLAIMS]
- [SHAGGY YELLS]
- [DRAGON SCREECHES]
[GRUNTING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
- [DRAGON GROWLING]
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]
[SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERS]
[GULPS]
[DRAGON BELLOWS]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[DRAGON BELLOWS]
[ALL PANTING]
Come on, King Arthur.
Put the dragons right behind us.
Go, Shaggy. [STRAINING]
I can't hold this door forever.
Jump, Shaggy!
Demon dogs, Shaggy. Go!
[SHAGGY YELLING]
[GASPS] King Arthur.
- [DAPHNE GASPS]
- I'm sure he's fine.
- [EXCLAIMS]
- [ALL GASP]
You thought you could
escape me, you fools.
If you have any last words,
the time has come to use them.
[MERLIN] When the time
is right, young lad,
you'll know just
how to use that book.
[CHEERING]
Thank you. Because of you,
we can wake up to a brighter tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Velma, the picture.
Has it come back?
- Nope.
- Oh, no.
You mean we've destroyed
the future?
No more video games?
No more double cheeseburgers?
No more Scooby Snacks?
[BOTH CRYING]
And no way to return home.
Don't worry, Sir Fred.
You can join me and
my Knights of the Round Table.
All of you can.
Together, we can make
the world a better place.
Create a kingdom
where everyone is welcome
as long as they fight
on the side of right.
Together, we can make Camelot
a beacon on the hill,
shining a light into
the darkest of places.
Bravo. Bravo.
Velma, what are you doing?
Oh, just applauding
these fine performers.
I guess that's the end of your
little show then, isn't it?
[CROWD STOPS
CHEERING, EXCLAIMS]
[ALL] Mrs. Wentworth?
Is she trapped
back in time, too?
No, Shaggy. She's not back in
time, and neither are we.
But the photo on the phone.
Forgot to charge it.
It just went dead.
But all the magic.
The flying, the lights...
Heck, when she did
that spell to freeze me.
It's like I thought.
There was no magic.
It was all just
wires, sleep gas,
and the light show that the mayor said
the town was going to show us later on.
As for the freezing,
we all know you're kind of impressionable
when someone yells in your direction.
- What? That's not...
- Jump!
Okay. Good to know.
So, the people,
they were what? Actors?
Not just any actors.
This in none other than that
wonderful British thespian,
Winston Pilkingstonshire.
[TOGETHER]
Winston Pilkingstonshire?
[GASPS] He's the actor who plays
Thundarr the Barbarian on TV.
- Right?
- Right.
I got even more suspicious
when Arthur said "demon dogs,"
one of Thundarr's catchphrases.
You know, you say the same lines
for 30 years, they're hard to shake.
But what really gave it away
were the abs.
I'd know those abs anywhere.
Whoa. Will you sign my tunic?
Yes, it's me and my abs.
But we couldn't have done it without this
marvelous medieval Renaissance troupe.
Everyone, please, take a bow.
Velma, amazing deduction.
It's true. I was hired to be
the inaugural actor
to play King Arthur in Norville o'er
Morgania's newest tourist attraction,
Camelot Reimagined.
Camelot Reimagined?
What is that?
It should be obvious, Daphne.
Do you remember when we first
arrived at Norville o'er Morgania?
We reached that roundabout with the
one road blocked off for construction.
This must be some sort of
immersive attraction
built right next to the town
to attract tourists.
In fact, with the way that Camelot
is centered in this small valley
to obscure what's on the other
side of that stand of trees
and how the castle only has
windows facing one side,
I'm willing to bet that
Norville o'er Morgania
is actually only
a couple of miles away.
She's right. And you five are
our first guests to take part
in what we hope will be a very
lucrative entertainment experience.
Yeah, but did they have to knock
us out to pretend it was real?
Actually, they did, Shaggy.
- All because of you.
- Me?
Do you remember
the legend of Sir Norville?
It said that if Norville
or any of his line returned,
they would lay claim
to the land of Camelot.
When the mayor
found out about your lineage
and saw your ancient medallion
with the inscription of Camelot,
he was convinced you were
here to lay claim to the town.
[MRS. WENTWORTH]
Precisely. After he met Shaggy,
he organized a town meeting
and told everyone
they would have to do
whatever it takes
to get you to sign over the
deed for the land to the town.
Like, I don't wanna
own real estate.
- You don't?
- Ma'am, no way.
Do you know how many
creepy, evil people we've met
that do weird things
just for a piece of land?
[CHUCKLES] No offense,
but I'd gladly sign over the deed.
Just give me the paperwork.
That's very sweet, Shaggy.
Luckily, you've already
signed the deed... over to me!
Ha-ha!
Um, this is definitely not
part of the script.
I know because I memorized the
entire thing, everyone's parts.
I always do.
It's just a thing.
These ignorant townspeople put everything
into this King Arthur experience,
wanting to split the profits
between everyone.
But you know what's better than splitting
profits with hundreds of people?
Splitting them with no one!
Once I send this to
the proper authorities,
this town and the money
it makes will be mine!
[LAUGHING]
She's trying to get away.
Get her!
[FRED] Look out!
And there goes my retirement.
All she has to do is mail that
deed and the town is hers.
We have to stop her.
Where's the nearest mailbox?
Uh, what's a mailbox, Sir Fred?
We're not acting anymore,
you twit.
Oh, right, mate.
Sorry, sorry.
It's about two kilometers
that way
in the center
of Norville o'er Morgania.
But she's too far away.
There's no way we can catch up to her.
No, there is a way.
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
Ariel, Ookla, ride!
Do you wanna?
No. You be Ariel.
I'm Ookla, naturally.
[ENGINE REVS]
Those fools. With this deed,
there's nothing to stop me
from owning this town
once and for all.
Huh?
This is your idea?
Don't worry, love.
It's just a converted lorry.
A baby could drive it.
See? What did
I tell you? Easy-peasy.
[LAUGHING] Like,
this is amazing!
[SHAGGY] She's getting away!
Huh?
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[SHRIEKS]
We've gotta put her down.
All right. Winston's got it.
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
[WINSTON] Hold on, everyone.
Lords of Light, that was fun!
- Oh, let's go again.
- Ariel rules!
We made it.
We, like, survived.
[SIGHS]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
But you failed in your quest!
Not yet we haven't,
vile sorceress. [CHUCKLING]
Fly true, my beauty!
And for good measure...
[GASPS]
What? No fair!
Oh, my.
What's going on here?
Well, Mayor, we know about you and the
town trying to gaslight us into thinking
we were trapped in the Dark Ages
in order to claim this land
as your own.
But, then, you didn't think
your town librarian
would try to steal
the deed for herself.
I would've gotten
away with it, too,
if it wasn't for you
meddling kids.
And... And...
A little bit of
Scooby Gang magic.
Well, I'm assuming that you'll
want to lay claim to the land then.
No way.
This land belongs to you
and the rest of the town.
I'm actually pretty proud
to know my ancestors
came from such imaginative
and entrepreneurial people.
Well, then there's only
one thing left to do.
What's that, Mayor?
Party!
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
Not a bad way to spend our vacation.
Wouldn't you say so, Sir Fred?
Not bad at all, Sir Daphne.
So, was any of it real,
Mr. Pilkingstonshire?
Our budding bromance?
The sandwiches?
- Any of it?
- I'm an actor, Shaggy,
but there are some things
you just can't fake.
One of those things
is a love of sandwiches.
Watch the sandwich scene in Citizen Kane.
You'll see what I mean.
Friendship is another one,
Shaggy.
You kids aren't so bad,
for septics.
Uh, septic tanks. Yanks.
I've got a wonderful
beach house in the UK.
You must come sometime.
And stay in a hotel nearby.
- Cheese.
- Cheese.
I'm still not sure
how you pulled it off.
The blasts of cold air,
fireballs, flying...
It all felt so real.
Magic is real, Velma.
You just have to look
deep within to find it.
Okay, I get it. A magician never
tells how he did the trick.
Now, young apprentice,
I gotta run.
Remember the lessons
I've taught you, hmm?
Once you suss out magic,
there's nothing you can't get up to.
Sure. Thank you, "Merlin."
It's been surreal.
Tatty-bye.
Where is your friend going?
He's going to miss the fireworks show.
My friend?
You mean Merlin?
Isn't he one of the townspeople?
No. Never seen him
before in my life.
- We thought he was with you.
- He's not with me.
And if he's not
with you, then...
No. It can't be.
Told you reality
was a simulation.
Scooby-Dooby-Doo! [CHUCKLING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]