Seal Team (2021) Movie Script

[thunder rumbling]
[dolphin call] It's go time!
Target is half a klick southwest.
Don't mess this up, seals.
I don't make mistakes.
Oh? The X47 death balloon.
This one's really deadly.
Uh, I'm gonna call a human.
No. We got this.
Uh, Claggart? You... You sure
we shouldn't get a human?
I-I feel like we should get a human.
You know, you cut the wrong wire,
we'll all be boom! Agh!
- The pain! The pain!
- Switch! Focus.
- Yeah, focus. Focus.
- What's taking so long, Claggart?
I got a photoshoot
with National Aquatic after this.
This isn't as easy
as going "Ek-ek-ek-ek-ek," Dolph!
- [gasps]
- [shrieks]
[baby-talk] Do my good boys
want some tasty sardines?
We don't do this for tasty treats.
We do this for honor, for duty, for...
Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf!
[baby-talk] Yes, you do!
Now, give me a thumbs-up!
[slow-motion] Run!
Claggart, I don't want to die
before... I have... my photoshoot!
Oh, wait, I'm a dolphin. I'm totally fine!
Brace for impact!
[whispers] So, what's the plan?
Really obvious head-first charge.
Got anything less stupid?
How about the old 1-2-17, back,
forward, inside-out maneuver!
Yeah, too complicated.
Ooh! Surprise attack!
- Too obvious.
- Hm.
Super-secret surprise attack?
[both] Hm.
Super-secret surprise attack!
Quinn, why do you always have to
shout out the name of the plan?
I got carried away.
But it was such a good plan.
Come on!
[indistinct chatter]
What are you doing?
There could be you-know-what's
lurking out there!
A few ravenous seal-eating sharks
is nothing for
the bravest seal in the ocean.
I, the Great Geraldo,
once escaped from an aquarium
using only my wits
and perfectly symmetrical features.
Have you been waiting for someone
to come past so you could tell that story?
Perhaps not.
It's all part of my mystique.
[Quinn] We can still see you.
[stomach gurgling]
Oh, come on. Let's go home.
We'll catch a fish tomorrow.
No. We're gonna get a fish today.
- I don't know, Quinn.
- Stay here.
I'll be back before you can say,
"This is a really stupid idea."
This is a really stupid... Ugh!
Quinn! Wait up!
Come on, man.
This is way better than a fish.
Oh, yeah?
- You don't even know what it is.
- Oh, come on.
Of course, I do.
It's a super-awesome, um, shiny thingy.
- A super-awesome whaty-whaty?
- [gasps] Did you see that?
Do you think it would make
a difference if I pretend I didn't?
[both exhaling]
Who wants to get in my face-hole?
- Out of the way!
- No! Find your own lunch!
- Swim for your lives!
- We're doomed!
I don't wanna be food!
Hey, Snap, your face went right into...
Other way, man. Other way!
Are you crazy?
There's sharks back there!
Turn around! Turn around!
Oh. That was too close.
Come on. We're almost home.
I said, you're going in the face-hole!
No! My face-hole!
Any ideas?
Don't say super-secret surprise attack!
The corkscrew spin!
- You sure about this?
- Nope, not at all.
Three... two...
Corkscrew spin!
No wonder they didn't wanna
go in your face-hole.
It's disgusting in here.
After them!
- [exhales]
- [Benji] Quinn?
You shouted out
the name of the plan again.
But we totally nailed it that time.
Do you count not catching a fish
and almost being eaten by a shark
three times as "nailing it"?
Kinda, sorta, maybe,
not really, no not at all.
Definitely not. That was
a complete, total failure.
- This is my spot!
- No, it's mine!
Mine, mine, mine.
You do know what you did out there
was really stupid, right?
Stupidly worth it! Check it out!
We could use them to make light signals!
[yelps] My eyes! My eyes!
I wasn't talking about the thingies.
I meant coming back for me.
You could've been eaten.
We gotta look out for each other, right?
Yeah. No matter what.
Rah! I'm a seal-eating sharky!
- [roars]
- [giggling]
Tag. You're part of the food chain.
All right, little predator.
It's time for dinner.
Mmm. Barnacles.
- Barnacles!
- [both] Ugh!
They taste like sand and disappointment.
[munches, coughs, groans]
[munches, coughs, gasps, groans]
[coughing, groaning]
And they're particularly
disappointy-ish today.
Ugh! There has got to be
a better way than this.
Oh, there is.
Trick is to lick a rock for flavor.
[slurps] Then stare directly at the sun.
The searing pain
removes the disappointment.
Uh... thanks, Beth.
But I was talking about all of this.
Risking our lives every day
to maybe get a fish?
- I'm so sick of barnacles!
- Barnacles are the worst!
Don't worry, seals.
It is almost time for the sardine run.
We'll all get to eat.
- Yeah!
- I love sardines!
- That totally averts any worries I had.
- What about the sharks?
- Sharks?
- Good point.
- Oh, I did not think of that!
- Ha! Hardly a concern.
I can count the amount of sharks
I've seen there on one flipper.
I'd buy that.
- Nothing to worry about.
- That's pretty convincing.
- [stomach gurgling]
- Quinn?
I really hope we catch more of them
awesome shiny thingies tomorrow.
I'm so hungry.
What do you think these things really are?
[yawns] Who knows?
All kinds of shipwrecks around here
filled with weird human stuff.
My spot.
In your dreams.
He is dreaming.
- What are you doing out here?
- I'm gonna get us some food.
All kinds of shipwrecks
around here, right?
And humans never
go anywhere without snacks.
Now, go back to sleep.
Breakfast is on me.
Trust me, that's all I wanna do right now.
Some idiot once told me
that we gotta look out for each other.
Well, that guy
must have been pretty stupid.
[gasps] Over here.
Humans sure have some interesting snacks.
- Junk.
- Trash.
- Worthless.
- Yum!
- [both yelping]
- Sideways! Sideways! Attack!
La la la la!
Wow! This is a rough part of the ocean.
[gasps] Tell me about it.
Oh, there's gotta be some food out there.
Yeah, like us, if we go out there.
Come on. We'll be in and out before you
can say, "This is a really stupid idea."
This is a really stupid...
[sighs] I don't know why I bother.
What do you think happened...?
Why would you even think
about asking a question like that?
Just looking for trouble.
It's just that, you know, this is totally
the kind of place that you would find a...
- Don't say it!
- Oh, relax, man. I'm sure we'll be...
[indistinct chatter]
Hello there, little fellas.
- Hello.
- Hello.
[chuckles] What's the rush?
I haven't even introduced myself.
My name's Grimes.
How are you doing today?
- Are you good?
- Are you well?
- Are you fine? [laughs]
- [exhales]
What? I asked if they was fine.
Like you wanted to pick
the scraps off their bones.
Isn't that what we're doing here?
[groans] Obviously,
but we don't want them to...
[screams] My eyes!
We can lose them in there!
- Corkscrew spin?
- Are you sure?
- Hm.
- [sighs] Thought so.
[grunts] Whoo-hoo!
See? I'm learning! I didn't even
shout out the name of the plan!
Come on. Come on, come on.
Come on, Benji.
[grunts] Benji!
- Did he just...?
- No ways.
You're food.
You're food!
[grunts] No! No! Stop it!
This is so undignifying!
This is what happens when you
go up against the food chain.
Food chain can kiss my tailfin.
- Hm?
- No! You can't eat him!
I thought you'd learned your lesson!
[both yelp]
So, so sorry. We thought
you were, oh, you know...
KIA, roger.
My name is Diving Dee. This is Roger.
- Roger.
- That eloquent lady is Mayday.
[comical gibberish]
Is she all right?
Yeah, she's been trying
to eat that starfish for years.
[comical gibberish]
I think they've formed
a symbiotic relationship.
I'm Quinn.
Well, Quinn, what brings your
unconscious body to these waters?
I went looking for food
with my friend. Benji.
[gasps] An old seal.
He saved me from a shark.
Big mustache. Angry. Face like this.
- Ooh, Claggart.
- Roger.
You know where I can find him?
You're probably safer
going back to the shark.
That old grouch
does not like visitors. Nope.
He does seem to enjoy
inflicting pain on them, though.
Oh, well, it's nice
having known ya, Quinn.
Enjoy the last few moments
of your short, short life.
Over and out. Over.
You have exactly ten seconds
to get off my ship
before I teach you the meaning of pain.
Ten, unbelievable pain.
Nine, ridiculous pain.
Eight, worse pain.
The way you took on that shark.
How did you do that?
Ha! Basic flipper-to-flipper combat.
Could you teach me?
That's what my crew used to call an RSI.
A really stupid idea!
Why would you wanna throw your life away?
The other super awesome shiny thingy.
The whata-whata-whata-whaty?
It belonged to my best friend.
Oh. I see.
Well, it's a cold, dark,
kind of ocean out there, pup.
Weirdly specific.
It's best to go home,
move on with your life,
and leave complete strangers alone!
The only way you're getting rid of me
is to teach me how to fight.
Or throw me off this boat.
- Oh.
- I... I phrased that badly.
I phrased that badly!
- [grunts]
- [screams]
That lesson's for free. Now get lost.
Teach me or the sardines are gonna get it.
You wouldn't dare.
Oh. Wouldn't I?
[singing in Russian]
Not the Tsardines!
Do you have any idea
how difficult it is to get those?
More than anyone.
Come with me.
My years in the service taught me
that this is what you need
to accomplish any mission.
- A photo?
- No! In the photo!
A dolphin smoking a cigar?
A team of soldiers,
brave, stupid, or crazy enough
to follow you into any mission.
No matter how dangerous.
You mean, I should form
some kind of seal ensemble?
- Wanna sing acapella?
- Seal club?
You obviously haven't been to the Arctic.
Wait. I've got it.
Flipper Patrol!
Have fun with the sharks!
My name is Seal.
You seals have been an amazing audience.
Now, this is the part of the evening
where I want you all to sing along.
Say, "Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf."
[all] Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf.
Now say,
"Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf. Arf. Arf!"
Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf! Arf! Arf!
Now say... Quinn?
[all] Quinn?
- Where have you been?
- [all] Where have you been?
Cut it out!
Benji and I went to...
[sighs] There was a shark.
Well, it's best to forget
about all that and have a barnacle.
No! I am so sick of disgusting barnacles.
Don't worry. There's always the...
What, the sardine run? Please!
We all just go into the water
and hope that we're faster
than the next seal.
Aren't you tired of leaving
your friends behind?
I hate to bring up
the painfully obvious,
but it's a shark-eat-seal world
out there, right?
Every seal for themselves.
If it's between him or me,
I'm choosing me.
You jerk! I thought we were friends!
- My spot!
- I've been sitting here for years!
Well, I'm through running.
I'm gonna make sure
we never lose another seal.
- I'm gonna fight back.
- [gasping]
Is there anyone here brave, stupid,
or crazy enough to help me?
Actually, this isn't my spot.
You can have it.
Not even Crazy Steve is that crazy.
And a shark once spat him out
because he tasted too weird.
All right, back to the music.
Please! Stop!
You guys gotta listen to me.
Quinn is never gonna survive
Because he's a little crazy
Those stupid seals.
Not even stupid enough to fight sharks.
[coughs, groans]
Thanks, Beth.
But it's gonna take more than rocks
and searing pain to help me.
You need seals brave, stupid,
or crazy enough to fight sharks.
You were there.
How'd it go? Scale of one to ten?
Oh, Quinn.
They haven't invented a number
low enough to describe that.
But look on the bright side...
If you want to fight sharks,
you're obviously very, very stupid.
So you're already a third of the way
to forming your own team.
Yeah, you're right.
All I need is someone brave and someone...
Yeah! You're always helping others!
By forcing them to lick rocks.
And you stare directly at the sun
for hours, so you gotta be tough.
I do have a lot of skills.
But fighting sharks is
a little certain death-y for my taste.
I'll get you all the sardines you can eat.
If you really wanna die
a horrible death involving sharks,
I'm gonna help you achieve your goal.
Yes! Thanks! I think.
All we need now is someone brave.
Oh, easy. I know the bravest
seal in the ocean.
Wow, it's a little cold tonight, hm?
Hm, it is a bit chilly.
A slightly chilly evening
is nothing for the bravest seal
in the ocean.
What about fighting sharks?
Fighting sharks is noth...
Actually, it is quite something.
You brave enough to help us do it?
Me? Brave enough?
I laugh in the face of danger
so much danger says to me,
"Oh, Great Geraldo,
you hurt my feelings."
And then I hold danger
in my arms and I say,
"Sorry, I never meant to hurt you."
So is that a yes on fighting the sharks?
- Perhaps. Perhaps not.
- All a part of your mystique, huh?
You're a fast learner. I like you.
Uh, one question?
How do we fight the sharks?
The Great Geraldo
also wonders about this.
But does not care about the answer!
I have no idea,
but I know a seal who does.
I found seals brave, stupid,
and, uh, "Beth" enough
to follow me into this mission.
Now will you train us?
You're persistent, pup,
I'll give you that.
But only that!
This is the most blubbery,
pathetic mess of a team I've ever seen!
You don't look so hot yourself, walrus.
[scoffs] And insubordinate, too?
Forget about it!
No. If you don't teach us how to fight,
we're gonna eat every can
of sardines on this entire ship.
I can't promise I won't do that anyway.
His mystique, it's... magnificent!
So, you pups think you have
what it takes to be in the HMMF?
- Wait, your team was called "hmmf"?
- Hmmf!
Kinda makes sense, I suppose.
It stands for Hydro-Marine Military Force,
the most elite fighting animals
ever to swim in the ocean.
And I don't think you have what it takes.
You gotta be fighting fit, on land...
and in the water.
[thunder rumbling]
You gotta have discipline.
- You ready to quit?
- [all] Seal, no, seal!
A lie-down would be nice, though.
You gotta be a master of stealth.
Who said that? [screams]
You gotta learn how to do a thumbs-up.
Yeah, we'll come back to this one.
You're gonna need...
- Air support to spot the enemy!
- Roger that. Over.
Shoo, you stupid birds!
This is my training!
Now, where were we?
You were gonna ask if we're ready to quit.
And we were gonna say...
- [all] Seal, no, seal!
- Hmmf!
You're gonna learn pain.
More pain.
Pain! Pain, pain, pain, pain!
Pain! Pain.
You ready to quit?
Huh, you might just be HMMF
material after all.
That's the spirit!
But you still have to pass the final test.
What test?
Fighting a shark, of course.
Meet the fiercest predator in the ocean.
An inanimate object is no match...
Is that all you've got?
Internal hemorrhaging is no mat...
Bob! Please stop!
- Bob!
- [chuckles]
Touch, Bob.
One down, two to go.
How did she...?
The secret is the element of surprise...
[laughs] Bob, two! Cheeky pups, zero!
Now hurry up and fail.
I've got a military-grade nap to get to.
[sighs] A seal is no match for a shark.
That's why we gotta work together.
- Come on, guys.
- Hey! They've had their turn!
You said it yourself.
You can only achieve
your mission with a photo.
I mean, a team.
Not bad, pups. Not bad.
Now get some shut-eye.
You're in for more P-A-I-N tomorrow.
- P-A-I-...
- That one just means pain.
Bad boy! Bad, bad boy!
[screams, gasps]
- What are you doing out here, pup?
- Nothing.
Can't sleep.
Coming up with, uh, strategies.
What are you doing out here?
Same thing.
Is it even possible?
Fighting sharks?
Well, it's stupid
and will probably end in death.
But that never stopped my old team
from diving into action.
Uh, doesn't seem
like that ended super well.
What happened to the rest of your team?
There was an accident,
and HMMF was disbanded.
Dolph went into show business.
And our gear expert, Switch,
he went crazy.
- Gear expert?
- Well, more crazy.
Crazy enough to fight sharks?
Forget it. Not gonna happen, pup.
I already led him on
one starfish-brained mission.
I'm not gonna do it again.
Okay, you leave me no choice, then.
- Hey! Give those back!
- Or what?
Teach me all of your moves?
Military mistake of the century!
[grunts, groans]
I don't get it.
Your old teammates are out there,
but you just sulk here by yourself.
I would do anything to see Benji again.
Pick up the pace!
Stragglers will be left behind!
Then captured.
Then left behind again. Then recaptured.
Then tail-slapped. Then left behind.
Wow, he's particularly hmmf-ish today.
He's just nervous because we're
gonna see an old friend of his.
The Great Geraldo also knows this pain.
When I escaped from the aquarium,
using only my wits
and perfectly symmetrical features,
I had to leave my one true love behind:
Magnificent Jing!
Shut it, seal!
Anything could be listening.
You mean like the biggest shark
you've ever seen in your whole life?
Hi. I'm Dave.
Uh... are you gonna eat us?
Nah. I'm a basking shark.
I only eat plankton.
And one time,
a little wooden boy by mistake.
He really liked to sing.
But that's cool
'cause I really like to sing, too.
My favorite song is the one that goes...
Wah, wah, wah, wah-wah, wah.
What's that one called again?
Wow. There's worse things
a shark can do than eat you.
We're here.
Hold it right there or you're gonna get...
the shrimp.
Hello, Switch.
Claggart? Is that really you?
I haven't seen you since... Boom! Agh!
Yeah, I know.
Oh, Claggy!
It's been too long, my old friend.
It's good to see you, too, Switch.
Sheesh, what's it with you HMMF seals
living alone on spooky wrecks?
Oh, I'm not alone. No, no, no.
I stay with my old friend, Seor Echo.
Is that just your echo?
No! No, he's a sophisticated
but aloof gentleman.
Seor Echo, say, "Hi, everyone!"
[echoes] Hi, everyone!
Everyone! Everyone! Everyone!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you...? Is this...?
Is the HMMF getting back together?
Uh, not quite.
We formed a team to fight sharks.
[lights buzzing]
That's a serious RSI.
Did you tell him that's an RSI?
Kinda why we're here.
We're gonna need some heavy firepower.
Hm. I don't have access
to the HMMF armory anymore.
So I've had to improvise.
With some unstable
experimental biotechnology!
Unstable experimental biotechnology!
They know, Seor Echo.
They know, they know. I just told them.
[Seor Echo]
Oh, sorry! My bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Clam grenades! Ow!
Oh, excuse... Watch out! Watch out!
Electric eel bolts. Just what you need.
Puffer mines!
Watches! For synchronizing.
Um... what is this?
I love you.
Yeah. Well, um, that one works,
uh, works better underwater.
And you've already seen the pistol shrimp.
- Ah! He's kinda cute!
- No!
Are you insane? That's one of
the most dangerous weapons here.
One click of his claw and pow!
Anywho, moving swiftly on.
Now this one is super exciting.
This is my latest project.
Activate Octo Suit.
[Echo] Embarrassing!
Embarrassing! Embarrassing!
Oh, sorry. You've gotta do the voice.
They love the voice.
[deep voice] Activate Octo Suit.
[excited chatter]
[Switch grunts and whirrs]
[mimics whirring]
[octopus chittering]
Flicka... Flicka, stop it, no. Not now.
This one's still in the R&D stage.
Um... [chuckle]
[licks flipper]
Rise now heroes
Break through our deepest shadow
This is seven, five, one, niner.
Bogey identified at 12 o'clock. Over.
Roger, we're right here!
Can't you just speak normally for once?
[comical gibberish]
[sighs] Never mind.
Mmm. [chuckles]
Compensating for angle.
Calculating distance.
And... Eels away!
Okay, let's tie this up.
- [gasping]
- No way!
- Did they just...?
- I don't believe it!
Now what?
Go, Seals!
You can do it! You show her!
- [snaps teeth]
- [whimpers]
I've lost all faith in you guys!
[onlookers scream]
Pull right!
Hey, should we... go after them?
Sure. I'll be right behind you.
If this thing gets us into deep water,
we're in, uh, deep water!
We could trap her in a shark cage!
- [Beth] That isn't a real thing!
- [Quinn] Yeah, it is!
- Are you sure this'll work?
- Not at all.
I'll take it.
[slow-motion roar]
We are currently floating
in the Zone of Death.
Home of flying great white sharks!
- [phone trills]
- Yeah, right.
- Believe it when I see it.
- [splash]
- [phone trills]
- [grunts] Come on, people!
What kind of a cheapskate
shark cage is this?
There is no way that a shark
could fit in there! No way!
- [angry grunts]
- Oh, she's cagey.
You're funny. I like you.
That's why I'm gonna eat you last.
Ah, put a clam in it.
- Call him.
- Grimes.
Oh, that's totally cheating! [yelps]
What are you doing in my territory?
- Mr. Grimes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
We saw a group of seals
attacking a shark.
- And what did you do about it?
- [both] Uh...
We came to tell you we saw
a group of seals attacking a shark?
You got chased away by food?
You don't understand.
They got weird gadgets.
Crazy moves!
Ever-growing camaraderie.
We're no match for that.
We're barely even friends!
Get a grip of yourselves! You're sharks!
Now, tell me more about these seals.
- Well, they had one of those.
- One of what?
That super awesome-looking shiny thingy.
The food that lived.
This is bad.
For all of us.
First it's seals fighting back.
Next thing you know,
we'll have penguins pecking at our eyes.
- Dolphins on the counterattack?
- But they look so friendly.
- A sea otter uprising!
- Ooh, I'd like to see that, actually.
So... what are we gonna do?
We make an example of them.
- [whispers]
- [coughs]
Seals are doing what?
- [whispers]
- How dare they!
We'll show them.
- [whispers]
- That is ridiculous!
Oh, yes, of course,
I know seals attacked a shark.
- How do you think I got here?
- All right, sorry.
Oh, nothing to see here.
Go back to sleep.
Go back to sleep.
- I'm too talented to be eaten!
- [comical chatter]
Mommy, help me!
All right, seals,
your next mission is to party!
We took down a shark and didn't die!
- Let's see what you got.
- [chittering]
Let's bust up the dance floor HMMF style.
What's wrong, pup?
Moping around in the shadows is
the one move I didn't want to teach you.
Oh, nothing. It's just seeing you guys.
It reminded you of your friend.
Benji wasn't a friend.
He was a TBFITEO.
The Best Friend In The Entire Ocean.
See? We'll make a military seal
out of you yet.
Benji was loyal, brave.
Telling me how stupid my ideas were.
Looking out for me, no matter what.
[sighs] That really is a TBFITEO.
And... he paid the price for it.
They've surrounded Seal Island!
Though it could be they just want
a little chit-chat,
but I think you guys
made them really angry.
- Roger.
- [exclaims]
Gear up, team. We're heading out.
That's a serious RSI, pup!
We barely survived a fight with one shark!
If we caused this, we have to fix it.
Not by just rushing in blindly.
That's how you get your friends hurt.
Wait, Quinn, uh...
I'm gonna save those seals,
with or without your help.
Wait, pup.
- [screams]
- No! My canaps!
How could you do this?
Quinn! I was talking about me.
The accident that destroyed
the Good Boy...
it was my fault.
I cut the wrong wire on a mine because...
because I'm colorblind!
Um... all seals are colorblind.
- What?
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, for all I know,
our camouflage could be bright pink.
Oh, man. I gotta rethink everything.
You sure? Whoo!
[breathes heavily] Brrr!
All right, all right, all right. [exhales]
I'm okay.
Ah! I threw my life away!
It's ruined everything!
Whew. [pants]
Pull it together.
The point is I was proud, overconfident.
And I rushed in without thinking.
My crew... my friends...
they paid the price.
Ah, come on.
It's water under the exploded bridge.
We all make mistakes, right?
But you don't have
to make the same ones I did.
So, what do we do?
The seals are trapped over here
on Sentinel Rock.
There are sharks
here, here, here, here, here.
Little bit over here.
This one, no, don't go there.
There's a shark here, here, here.
There was a baby shark over here.
Uh, Mommy shark here.
Yep, a shark here.
Grandpa shark over here.
He did not look very happy.
- There was a shark...
- Okay, we get it!
We got eight hours
before the tide comes in.
We need to rescue those seals
without engaging the sharks.
Sounds like a job for the...
[deep voice] Octo Suit.
Yeah, probably an RSI.
I think I have something else
that could work!
My special formula chum.
Irresistible for sharks. One drop
will lure them all away from the island.
The sharks are gonna be on us
as soon as we put that stuff in the water.
We need a boat.
Not this boat, though, right?
- Hey, the Good Boy can still sail.
- [clank]
You mean in reality,
or in our hearts and minds?
The Great Geraldo
knows where we can get a boat.
The harbor near my old aquarium.
It's the last place I saw my great love,
the Magnificent Jing,
before I escaped using only my wits.
All right! We've got our plan.
Get a boat, chum the water,
and rescue the seals.
I love you.
I really hate this thing.
- Hey! What are you doing here?
- Locals only!
- Get lost, bruh.
- Hmmf. Harbor seals.
No honor, no bravery.
They just laze around
doing tricks for snacks.
You think you can just roll
into our territory and insult us?
We'll show you.
the Harbor Queen!
Summon the Harbor Queen!
Uh, who's the Harbor Queen?
I don't know,
but she sounds kinda dangerous.
Eh, what's she gonna do,
spin a ball on her nose?
Give it up. You are no match
for the Great Geraldo.
It is you who is no match
for the Magnificent Jing!
We need a song to lift our spirits.
Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf.
Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf.
Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf.
Report back to Grimes.
Yes. Tell her to join
the attack from the north.
Huh? What do you mean he's lost?
Sharks have a built-in navigation system.
[sighs] Fine. Left at the reef,
right at the canyon.
And he can't miss it. [grunts]
If you give me bad news,
I will eat you right now.
[sighs] Just spit it out already.
The news!
The tide's almost up, but still
no sign of them pesky action seals.
Doesn't matter.
As long as they stay out of my way,
the plan will proceed.
And if they do show up?
Save a bite of the cheeky one for me.
No! Right at the reef! Right!
Jing! My love!
You useless, good-for-nothing,
self-involved coward!
Hold up, is this the Jing?
The one who escaped from the aquarium?
[all] "Using only his wits
and perfectly symmetrical features."
The Magnificent Jing laughs
with all the sarcasm she can muster.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
The Great Geraldo notes your sarcasm,
but does not appreciate it.
Ugh. Two of them. Help me.
Please, my love,
we do not have time for this.
No one is going anywhere
until he tells the truth.
- I...
- Please be dramatic.
Escaping the aquarium was Jing's plan.
- But I... I couldn't go through with it!
- [all gasp]
I am not disappointed.
As unbelievably difficult
as that is to believe,
the Great Geraldo was scared of...
Love... Love...
I hate this stupid watch!
- This... this stupid watch! I hate it!
- Love... Love...
So, if Jing's the one who's all brave,
smart, and symmetrically featured,
how did you escape the aquarium?
I was thrown out.
Without the Magnificent Jing,
our show was an absolute failure.
We always were better as a duet, my love.
Were . Past tense.
[glass cracking]
Listen, we're on a mission
to fight a whole lot of sharks.
Chances are we're definitely gonna die.
If you help us,
you'll really be punishing Geraldo.
What do you need?
By day, Burt "Flips" Flipsburton
is a millionaire dolphin philanthropist.
By night, he's a crime-fighting
porpoise of purpose
in Dial Ek-ek-ek for Action!
[television character]
Ek-ek-ek-ek-ek. It's go time!
Ek-ek-ek-ek-ek. It's go time!
[Jing] Geraldo.
Well, good luck
with the certain death.
Perhaps you would like to, uh...
certainly die with me?
You're nailing it.
[watch beeps] I love you.
I hate this thing!
I hate it! It's every single time!
You! You took my sandwich!
Come in, come in!
We've got a robbery in progress!
Ek-ek-ek-ek-ek. It's go time!
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
- [electronic vocalizing]
- Huh?
[presenter] You're tuned into
Talky Talk radio. Next caller.
[man] Hi! I'm Dave!
That sandwich had all the toppings!
Pfft. Flipping show-offs.
I'm gonna eat ya!
I'm gonna eat ya! I'm gonna eat ya!
Hey, what's that sound?
[sniffs] What's that smell?
- So delicious.
- Must follow.
Predatory instincts taking over.
[laughs] Let's get 'em!
- Samantha!
- We need to give them more time.
Get it off, get it off! Get off!
I'm gonna eat ya!
- You're almost there! Sam!
- You can make it!
- Mommy!
- Oh, Sam.
[gasps] I was so worried.
They did it!
[laughs] Thought I was going
to forget about you. Get 'em.
Get her! [laughs]
Definitely get him!
Don't make me come back there!
[slow-motion screaming]
[groans] Is everyone okay?
- Yep.
- Just fine.
- Kind of.
- All in one piece.
[all] You!
You'll never take me alive!
I know this fish. He works
for the shark who took Benji.
Oh, and Grimes is just getting started.
Surrounding Seal Island was
just a distraction to keep you busy.
Shut up, you sellout!
Yeah! Snitches get eaten!
[yelps, screams]
We need to find out
what Grimes is up to.
Without those sharks warning him
that we're coming.
I think I have a plan.
Are seals meant to do that?
Only after we bite them.
Well, I am hanging my head
at an unnatural angle,
uh, out of deep regret.
I, the Great Geraldo love you, Jing.
Go, go! We'll keep them busy!
What do you mean "we?"
We always worked better as a duet, right?
What a shock.
I, the Magnificent Jing,
did not expect this!
[piano music playing]
But I, Quinn, also love Jing!
[gasps] How dare you!
How will I ever decide
between these two eligible seals?
- Choose Geraldo!
- Jerk? He doesn't deserve her!
[shouts] My buddy
Sydney Six Fins knows the name!
The funny thing with Sydney Six Fins
is all sharks have six fins!
Why, unless you count the, uh...
you know, uh...
the butt fin! Then it's seven!
That reminds me of a joke.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Whoa, whoa.
I wish I knew.
Sharks have no concept of arithmetic.
Whoa, whoa! [speaks gibberish]
[shouts] All of the evasive maneuvers!
- Shark!
- Retreat! Retreat!
- Now, where were we?
- Split up!
You remember when I said I'd eat you last?
I lied!
One move,
and you're gonna get the shrimp.
What you gonna do?
Merchandising opportunity me to death?
[slow-motion groans]
[Geraldo, imitating Claggart]
I have a terrible secret
that I have never told anyone.
I, Claggart,
am in fact Switch's father's
twin's evil son!
Wouldn't that be his evil cous...?
Not coming with you was
the biggest mistake of my life.
- Oh! Back story!
- Finally!
Well, you are a liar, a coward,
a proud, boastful, son-of-a-walrus.
But we are better as a duet.
- Kiss him already!
- Not with you creeps watching!
She's gonna do it. She's gonna do it!
Come on. Let's go.
The Great Geraldo
was definitely in on that plan.
Are those really the most
deadly creatures in the ocean?
Not when you're around, my love.
[distorted] Quinn!
[distorted] Quinn!
A puny shark is no match for the...
- The Great Geral...
- [sighs]
What are they doing down there?
Hmmf, no way we're gonna get close enough
to hear without being spotted.
Uh, guys? This kind of
maybe sort of seems like
a job for the... Octo Suit?
[sighs] He's right.
- Wait, what?
- Are you insane?
- Really?
- You think Flicka can hold it together?
Yes! Ish...
And if things get a little, uh, colorful,
just say, "Activate countermeasures."
- They'll know what to do.
- Then let's do this.
[excited chittering]
- [whimpering]
- We can do this, Flicka.
I was minding my own business
when this tornado
lifts me out of the water.
- Yeah, I heard about that.
- Shh, shh.
Brothers and sisters.
I have invited you here
because of the seal menace.
I hate them so much!
I mean, do they live on land or in water?
But I know how to turn this
problem into an opportunity.
We can learn something from those seals.
- Better PR with humans!
- Or to drive a speedboat?
How to do a thumbs up?
[sighs] Teamwork.
If a group of floating lunchboxes
can band together and threaten us,
imagine what we can achieve together.
- Shark legs!
- Then we'll be the mammals!
You know what? The next time
anyone wants to speak,
raise your fin.
Now where was I?
Every year,
seals head out for the sardine run.
And every year, we eat our fill.
Who do we catch?
The old, the slow,
and that weird-tasting seal
that's frothing at the mouth.
- Ew, gross!
- That guy's the worst flavor!
Hey! What did I just say?
But as a team we'll make sure
no seal is left behind.
Because we'll eat them all!
[sighs] Yes?
Could I eat two seals?
Five seals?
Seven seals?
You will eat as many seals
as you can count!
Huh, huh, huh. Seven seals!
Uh, Guys?
We have a little problem.
- [grunts]
- Eat seals for breakfast.
Seals for second breakfast.
Seals for elevenses.
Seals for luncheon.
- Seals for afternoon tea!
- [squeals]
- Seals for dinner!
- Hm.
Seals for supper.
Seals, seals, seals!
Hold it together, guys.
Just a little bit longer!
Let me out! He's over here!
Activate countermeasures?
Oh, right, I gotta do the voice.
[deep voice]
Activate countermeasures!
Hello there, little fella.
You're a bit early for the feast,
but I can always have a pre-dinner snack.
Yeah, I get that.
You must be pretty hungry
after monologuing for, like, seven hours.
How do you guys deal with the boredom?
Staring into the distance.
I do crossword puzzles.
Plotting betrayal, mostly.
First, I'm gonna stop you.
Then I'm gonna tail-slap
that stupid smile right off your face!
We're gonna tail slap
that stupid smile off your face!
Ooh! You brought me more friends to eat.
But you're not the only ones
with reinforcements.
Any ideas?
Get outta here. I'll keep 'em busy.
[chuckles] I thought I was
the one with the stupid plans.
Uh-uh. No. Forget it. No way.
Listen to me, pup.
When we met, I was an empty wreck.
I'd given up on everything.
But you.
You're crazy, stupid and brave enough
to never surrender.
You'll always be there for your friends.
That's why you gotta get out of here.
No! Please! [sighs] I can't.
I believe in you, pup.
You are natural-born HMMF.
Come on!
No! I'm never leaving him!
If we stay here, we're all done for!
I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain!
You're gonna have
an honorary doctorate in pain!
Oh, Claggart. Claggy.
I lost him again, guys.
Quinn, where you going?
The sharks are planning an ambush
during the sardine run.
I need to warn everyone.
What's the plan?
There isn't one.
Everyone keeps paying for my stupid ideas.
Benji. Claggart.
One of you will be next.
All right, Team Beth!
We're gonna find
a way to stop those sharks!
Hey! Since when are we Team Beth?
No questions allowed on Team Beth!
No. No, no!
Please, no, no!
Oh, I'm too late!
Sardine run, sardine run
Here we come
- Come on, Sam!
- Whoo-hoo!
- This is my spot!
- No! Mine!
I've been diving here for years!
Stop! Everybody, come back!
Quinn? What are you shouting about?
We've gotta stop them.
The sharks are waiting.
- They're what?
- [shouts] The sharks!
Hm. Never heard of them.
You know what...?!
I don't have time for this.
Can I tell you a secret?
There are sharks out there.
- Really?
- You know why I don't admit it?
Out there you might not come back.
I might not come back.
But the community will survive.
If we don't go on the sardine run,
everyone will starve.
[all] All hail Bob!
All hail Bob!
Quinn! Thank goodness!
Oh, things got out of hand,
so quickly without you!
We were training with Bob, and
next thing I knew, he had taken over!
Bob... can be very persuasive.
Why did you come back?
The seals have already left
for the sardine run.
Gotta try to protect them.
- Is there anyone here...?
- Brave.
- Stupid.
- Crazy.
Let's do this.
The seals have a head start.
- The sharks! They're gone.
- What do you mean "gone"?
- AWOL, Roger.
- What they said.
Here's the island.
This is where the sardines will come past.
- But there's nothing in between.
- [gasps] Except for...
I can't stand that guy. So boring.
Whatever you do, don't make eye contact.
Uh... I thought the point of this thing
was to not get eaten by sharks?
- Actually, I only eat plankton.
- [all] We know!
Thanks, Dave!
You're the best shark I've met.
No problem!
- Team Quinn!
- Please! Team Geraldo!
- Uh-uh. Quinn.
- Geraldo.
- Quinn.
- Geraldo.
- Quinn.
- Quinn.
- Quinn.
- Geraldo.
- What?
- Huh?
- Team Jing!
- Oh! That's gonna leave a mark.
[watch] I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Look behind you.
I really loved that watch.
[water bubbling]
[Geraldo] I'm beginning to think
this mission is a serious RSI.
- I'm hungry.
- Can we eat yet?
- It's so cramped in here.
- Yeah!
We're packed like some kind of fish.
[overlapping chatter]
- Come on. Let's go.
- Quiet.
- Silence.
- Shut your face-holes!
Patience, brothers and sisters.
We wait for the tasty seals
to pass overhead.
And then, when they're
cut off from the island...
[sniffs] ...we attack.
This year, no one's coming back
from the sardine run.
I think I have an idea.
Switch, can you release that container?
Even if I have to break
the chain with my teeth. Ah.
The rest of you,
position yourselves at the exits.
As soon as that crate
comes down, close the doors.
- [clanking, door closes]
- [gasps]
Please?! Why do you hate me?
Move. Move!
Sorry, sorry.
[snaps teeth]
Go, my love.
No ways.
I have spent my whole life
proclaiming my bravery
but being a coward when it really counts.
[shouts] Not today!
If you don't come back, I will find you.
And I will hurt you!
I wouldn't expect any less, my love.
[grunts] This puny door
is no match for the Great Geraldo!
Sorry, my friends.
- This way!
- Not this way!
Why, hello there, little fellas.
Shut it, you creep!
Why always the eyes? [grunts]
First, I'm gonna eat
every seal you've ever met.
Then I'll be back for you.
No! No!
It's over, isn't it?
For all of us.
Well, this mission did have
that classic, uh,
certain death-y kind of feel to it.
[sniffs] Then why'd you come?
Because of you, dummy.
My whole life I believed that it was
every Beth for themselves.
Then some starfish-brained idiot
showed me another way.
A very stupid way. But a better way.
We gotta look out for each other.
- No...
- Matter...
What? Oh, oh! What.
Come on.
Let's see if we can take down
a few of those sharks with us.
Told you a puny door is
no match for the Great Geraldo.
[muffled] Whoo-hoo!
Why are we swimming?
Swim, swim for your lives
Oh, yeah
- That was shocking.
- I'm electric, baby!
[deep voice] Activate Octo Suit.
Pshoo, pshoo, pshoo, pshoo!
- You ready to get involved in this fight?
- Roger, Roger!
Yeee-haw! Yeah, okay, maybe
I shouldn't have done this!
Prepare to be astounded.
Prepare to be amazed.
Prepare to have your fins handed to you!
By the Great Geraldo!
And the Magnificent Jing! [chuckles]
[chanting] Laser shark.
Laser shark. Laser shark...
Laser shark. Laser shark. Laser shark.
Laser shark. Laser shark. Laser shark...
- [all] Boo!
- You stink.
- Go home, loser!
- That was it, Laser Shark?
You're surrounded.
You're outnumbered.
You're about to be food.
Give it up, little fella. You can't win.
[sighs] I know.
But we're brave, stupid
and crazy enough to try anyway.
Sorry I'm late.
I had to fetch reinforcements.
[squeaks] It's go time!
[singing in Russian]
- Mmm. Tasty.
- Ow!
Every shark for themselves!
Everyone, get to the ship!
Not bad, pup. Not bad.
[sighs] I don't believe it. It's a shark.
Come on, everybody. Let's help them.
Are you guys with me?
Are you with me?
- We can do this together!
- Yeah! [comical gibberish]
[grunts] Sharks will always be at the top!
And you, you will always be food.
This food bites back!
[slow motion] No!
Oh, wait, I'm a shark. I'm totally fine!
[squeals] Amateur.
Well, you did it, pup.
We did it.
[Claggart] Set course for the sardine run.
[Dolph] Ek-ek, Captain.
- Rar! I'm still a sharky!
- Oh, yeah?
Well, we're Seal Team!
Run away!
Psst! I wouldn't go there if I was you!
The island is
under Seal Team's protection.
Pah! I've been devouring my way
across the seven seas!
I ain't afraid of no seals!
Wow. That guy is so done for.
Yup. Quinn's gonna kick his tailfin.
Quinn? Please!
It's Geraldo he's gotta watch out for!
Sierra, Hotel, Alpha, Romeo, Kilo, over.
We've got incoming!
- Hah!
- [beeps]
Let's go! Go! Go!
- Coming!
- Flicka, come back here!
[squeals] It's go time!
All right, whose idea was the Dave cannon?
[screams] It worked better on paper!
I thought that we agreed
to stop listening to Quinn's plans?
- Huh?
- Hi! I'm Dave!
Out there in the deep blue sea
A danger down below
Now who's gonna rescue me?
Is there anybody you know?
In the distance out of the blue
A hero's call for you
As the jaws of defeat close in
They come to set you free again
You can't fight the power
Of the Seal Team
Seal Team
The time has come
The hour of the Seal Team
Seal Team
Dangers of the deep watch out
It's the Seal Team
Seal Team
'Cause you can't fight the power
Of the Seal Team
The Seal Team
Seal Team
Down there something hides in wait
An evil up to no good
Now who's gonna seal their fate?
Is there anybody who could?
In the distance out of the blue
A hero's call for you
As the jaws of defeat close in
They'll come to clutch the final win
You can't fight the power
Of the Seal Team
Seal Team
The time has come
It's the hour of the Seal Team
Seal Team
Dangers of the deep watch out
It's the Seal Team
'Cause you can't fight the power
Of the Seal Team
Seal Team
Seal Team, yeah
Seal Team
Seal Team
Seal Team
[presenter] You're tuned into
Talky Talk radio. Next caller, please.
[Dave] Hi! I'm Dave!
[presenter] Oh, again?
Ooh, bad.
Well, what's on your mind today?
[Dave] I just wanna talk
about the portrayals of sharks
in film and TV.
They make it seem like
we just eat everything
we can get our fins on.
But that's totally not true!
I only eat plankton!
And, uh, one time
a little wooden boy by mistake.
And a para-military unit
of highly trained seals,
but that doesn't really count
because I spat them out again!
Also bicycle tires, a crab with a knife...
Wow, he was really angry!
Definitely not barnacles!
Barnacles are the worst!
Uh, sea anemones, it's pronounced anemone,
did you know that?
My whole life I've had it wrong!
Oh, anyway, sea anemones.
D anemones.
I think a G and an H anemone.
Couple of helmets,
think probably like early, uh, Roman.
Toothbrushes, very necessary
this far down, let me tell ya.
A stick that kinda looked like a man,
like it was some kind of a stick-man.
Kinda hard to describe, but you're...
You're coming with me.
Oh, and like this crazy blue diamond
that just floated down one day, huh.
Hope somebody's not missing that!
[seagulls squawking]
[Dave] A bag of flour,
some cocoa powder,
bicarb soda, baking powder,
white sugar, salt, eggs, milk,
oil, vanilla extract.
It was only afterwards that I realized
that I had all the ingredients
for a chocolate cake.
I wish I had mixed them first.
Rise now, heroes
Break through our deepest shadow
Rivals from below
Struck down again
Rise now, heroes
Riding in on waves of glory
You'll see the wicked fall
As your deepest fear floods in
Prowling ever closer
You're devoured by hungry eyes
Praying that it's over
Grinning shadows show their teeth
Nightmares creeping in
Will scatter as the mighty shine
Through the dark again
Rise now, heroes
Break through our deepest shadow
Rivals from below
Struck down again
Rise now, heroes
Riding in on waves of glory
You'll see the wicked fall
Rise now, heroes
Break through our deepest shadow
Rivals from below
Struck down again
Rise now, heroes
Riding in on waves of glory
You'll see the wicked fall
You'll see the wicked fall