Searching for Sheela (2021) Movie Script

[reporter 1] Ma Anand Sheela, famous
for being Bhagwan Rajneesh's top aid,
is facing serious charges of both fraud
and attempted murder.
[female reporter 1] Ma Anand Sheela
and ten to 15 top Rajneeshi leaders
have been fired by Bhagwan and kicked off
the central Oregon ranch.
[reporter 2] Ma Sheela
will no longer be received
at any Rajneeshi commune anywhere
in the world.
She is the murderer.
[female reporter 2] No one imagined
that we'd find ourselves neck-deep in
what was simultaneously
the largest case of immigration fraud,
the largest case of poisoning
and the largest case of wiretapping!
[Bhagwan] She has betrayed
the whole commune.
[birds chirping]
[phone rings]
[Anurag] Hello, Sheela.
[Sheela] Hi, Anurag.
[Anurag] I called you to give you
a very, very good news.
We are now confirming your India trip
and you should start packing now.
-[Anurag laughs]
-[Sheela] Don't know what to say, Anurag.
[Anurag] I'm so happy. You know,
everyone was scaring me, telling me,
"Oh! What if Sheela doesn't get visa?
What if she's banned in India?"
[Sheela] And what about security?
[Anurag] I have organized,
you've nothing to worry about security.
All the clearances have been done.
There's so many people who are looking
forward to meet you.
-[light music]
-And you know, when we started talking,
it was just one event,
but now this is becoming like
a whole tour.
[Sheela] I don't know
how to thank you, Anurag.
[Anurag] So, finally you're coming
to India after 30 years.
[Sheela] No. I will be coming after
35 years almost.
[Anurag] Oh, wow.
Happy homecoming, Sheela.
[news anchor] The world
had almost forgotten about Sheela
till a 2018 Netflix documentary
that followed the rise and fall
of Rajneeshpuram,
brought the Vadodara born anti-hero back
into the limelight.
-[dramatic music]
-The lady who was supposed to be
the closest to Bhagwan Rajneesh,
better known as Osho,
someone who came to be seen
as a shrewd mind,
who spoke her mind.
Almost controlled Osho
and also controlled his empire.
[Sheela] When we first moved
in this house,
people in the village,
their fantasies started playing big.
They would gossip and talk,
they all walk in the night in white robes
like ghosts.
A strange music comes out of there.
[female anchor] A young girl from Gujarat,
-who made it very, very big.
-[people cheering]
[female anchor]
Anti-hero for some, a villain for others
whose antics caused a stir
wherever she went.
[Sheela] Some people wear their baggage
on their face.
I wear that baggage on my shoulders.
[female anchor] An epitome of feminism
or a woman who tried to poison
an entire town?
The brain behind Osho's empire
or a criminal master mind?
[dramatic music continues]
[female anchor] Who is the real Sheela?
World sees me from their point of view.
And the world only loves to see problems,
so, they misunderstand.
There's so much more.
I'm not the same person you think I am.
[young Sheela] Life is a good performance.
[reporter 3] What role do you like then?
Snow White or the Wicked Witch?
[prayer music]
[Sheela] It is eight days
after my imprisonment.
I was out of prison.
My mom and dad flew from India
to visit me.
And I didn't want them to feel stress
of the prison on my being.
The picture of freedom.
Freedom from
how world views me
and how it feels to be
surrounded by parents' love.
[Sheela] And I've been taking care
of disabled people
from different complex illnesses.
[prayer music continues]
[speaking in German]
Let me take those. Okay?
[Sheela in English] I do have
a lot of unwanted baggage on my shoulder.
[Sheela] If I didn't have it,
it would make my work much easier.
[Meera in Gujarati]
At such times, I miss the times I spent
with our mom.
[Meera in English] It's 40 years.
One thing and one thing only.
Why are you still harping on the old thing
which has no meaning anymore?
I wouldn't be afraid of expressing myself
to them.
But they will start writing bad stories
on you then.
-[Sheela laughs]
-[Meera] Who cares, Sheeli?
Who cares?
-They want to earn their living
-If you're not afraid.
and Sheeli has to pay the cost.
-[Sheela] People who know me
don't misunderstand me.
My father felt
I must speak about it.
That's when I decided to write the book,
Don't Kill Him.
My father says
in spite of problems,
you must move forward.
[light music]
[Meera] I was always afraid that
once she goes to India
then she might not come back alive.
And now um, we are
at the end of the line,
then she should go and visit
irrespective of what may happen.
[Sheela] People have to move on.
Somebody has to take responsibility
to erase the misunderstandings
that media has created over years.
Existence offers me the opportunity.
I will take the challenge.
[fanfare music]
[female reporter 3] Bhagwan Sri Rajneesh.
It started quietly enough
when he took over a secluded ranch
where he preached his particular brand of
eastern mysticism
and western pop psychology.
Of course, what shone a spotlight on him
was the famous sexual meditation groups.
And when Rajneeshis took over
the nearby town of Antelope,
that's when things really started
to change.
[young Sheela] Rajneeshi
is a new phenomenon,
never before in the world
intellectuals have gathered together
and created an Oasis in the desert.
[reporter 4] Whatever this kingdom
was about self-enlightenment or free love.
It was about money, heaps of it.
Some 200 million dollars
from 30,000 Rajneeshis around the world.
[reporter 5]
As for the Bhagwan, he watches in silence
often from the front seat of a Rolls-Royce
as Rajneeshpuram grows in size and wealth.
I am the rich man's guru.
[fanfare music continues]
[female reporter 4] It is said that
after Bhagwan himself, Ma Anand Sheela
is the most consequential person
in the Rajneesh Empire.
[reporter 6] President
of the Rajneesh foundation
and the only person with direct access
to the man himself.
[female reporter 5] Some speculate
that Bhagwan Sri Rajneesh
is no longer the leader.
And that Sheela herself
who commands the 350 thousand disciples.
[young Sheela] He and I made
a great team together.
It was a shame that it had to break up.
She did not even come to say goodbye
to me.
People who don't commit crime
don't escape like that.
[Bhagwan] Out of the very burden
of all the crimes that she has done,
she will suffer her whole life.
-I'm just bewildered, you know?
-[woman laughs]
[woman] Maybe you've been waiting
for this for almost a month now
More than a month.
[cheerful music]
[reporter 7] Right now, he is possibly the
most carefully watched man in the state.
[young Sheela] You're damn right.
He is the most precious man in the world.
[reporter 7] To what lengths
are you prepared to go to?
To keep him safe,
ensure there's no attack on him?
In every possible way.
Um When last time I came to Delhi,
we spent most of the time
waiting at the residence of Indira Gandhi.
[man] Okay.
[woman] So that's why that's a big hall
for weddings outdoor,
and these are the rooms
but because we felt
you'd be more safe here.
-[Sheela] I can I can try.
-[Sanjay] You can try this.
-[Sheela] Try it.
-[Sanjay] I think it'll look very nice.
[Sheela] Okay. I'll try it.
I'll look at it through your eye.
[Sanjay] But she was worried if she
can come back to India again or not.
We've tried to make it very possible
that, you know,
that she is secure here in India.
[Meeta] These are the events as of now,
I think.
So, Karan,
-Soho House.
-[man] Pune.
-[Meeta] Lit Fest
-They are not gonna let her go easy.
What would Bhagwan think of this sari?
I think he would like it.
[Sanjay] Now you have a certain idea
of her. What you want to see her in,
it's not "her shopping", you know?
It's a comeback.
I have a very clear image of her,
I cannot let her be not
What you think of her
or the people think of her?
-I think of her
and people think of her because
her personality is the same,
she is still fierce,
-she's still clear, bold.
-You want, in a way, a power dressing.
-Is that right? Okay.
And that's what she is.
What has been your most favorite,
comfortable look?
Um When I am in my pajamas.
[all chortle]
[Meeta] That is now,
-but let's talk about years back.
-Then too.
[dramatic music]
[Sheela] You like it?
[Sanjay] It's good. Very nice.
We will have to do some final fixing
on the stage.
My glasses
-No, don't worry.
This button is difficult.
Let me see.
This is the
test for my patience.
I feel like a groom.
[Karan] I do a talk show,
it's called Koffee with Karan,
and has interviewed celebrities
from the entertainment industry,
predominantly Bollywood.
And the show is irreverent and fun
and it's meant to be mildly scandalous.
You know, I have bigger scandals
than show business people.
Of course, they're all
kindergarten scandals
-compared to your life.
[both chortle]
I'm going to get down and dirty.
No problem.
And even though there are cameras
surrounding us, pretend they don't exist.
-They never existed for me.
-[Karan] That's true.
I have lived a transparent life.
-Thanks to cameras.
-because you can look beyond them.
That's the most important thing.
[Karan] It's unfortunate
that after everything
that actually transpired and happened,
that you finally had to flee from there.
And did you feel that for yourself
that it was the end of an era?
Everything that you had built
piece by piece.
I left because I had a personal problem
with Bhagwan.
Three hundred people came to drop me off
at the airport.
That's not fleeing.
Your journey began as a result of love.
Would you call your relationship
with Osho unrequited
or was he also as much in love with you
as you were with him?
He was also very much in love with me.
Oh, you should see some of the photos
how he looks at me
-and you will know it yourself.
-[Karan] Right.
[audience applauds]
And the way he would say, "Sheela."
It would melt me every time.
[Karan] When you talk
about this story, Sheela,
I see love but I also see pain
in your eyes.
About the past that was.
The relationship that existed
and you said that it was a relationship
of equal love,
but was it platonic?
I didn't have sex with him
if that's what you mean.
-[Karan] Politely, I was asking that.
-[audience laughs]
[Sheela chortles]
[Karan] So there was no sex with Osho?
-[Sheela] No.
-[Karan] No.
[Sheela] Our relationship was not sexual
and it didn't matter
because I was already drowning
in him.
What more do I want?
-[Karan] Yes.
-His eyes were
probably more beautiful
than his penis was.
I'm not sure, I don't know.
-[Karan laughs]
-I have never seen it.
[audience applauds]
-[woman 1] Can you sign it?
-[Sheela] Wait, wait, wait Okay.
-[woman 2] Can I take a selfie with you?
-[Sheela] Oh, yeah.
For my lovely niece, because she is
in the US and she loves you.
Apart from your book, I've some
of your old photos
-Oh, so many, huh?
-Yes, four pictures.
[woman 3] She looks beautiful.
[notification sound]
[RJ Aditi] And you know what,
this interview. Yeah, man,
it did take a toll on me
because I was super excited about this.
I don't remember any of these buildings.
[radio playing]
This is One talk with Aditi.
[RJ Aditi] Okay,
so I got the opportunity of speaking
to one of the most talked about person
from the last year.
They're still talking about her.
You know her by the name Ma Anand Sheela.
Absolutely, no introduction needed
for you.
I think you're more or just
as popular as Game of Thrones now.
-[Sheela] Oh, no.
-[RJ Aditi] Yes,
you're the new pop culture, man. You are.
Have you felt that there has been
any change
in perception about you?
[Sheela] Well, timeline of perception
is not so reliable.
-[RJ Aditi] Yeah.
-[Sheela] It depends.
What the situation is and how it moves
and who moves it.
-[man] Getting ready for Ma?
-[woman] Is it?
-FBI would show up from somewhere.
-I mean, any moment.
FBI is up there, somewhere.
-FBI is everywhere.
-No doubt about that.
You pleaded guilty to attempt
of murder, right?
[Sheela] No.
-Yes. That's what we read about.
-[Sheela] No.
-Yeah, but your information is faulty.
-That's what I want to ask you.
Okay, if you say that it's all false
then it's a separate discussion
altogether. Okay. So that's
[woman] But there are things
you admitted to when you went to jail.
-No, I didn't admit.
-[woman] You did.
-[people laugh]
-I know what I did.
[woman] I want to know
what you actually admitted to.
-I'll tell you. Ask me and I'll tell you.
-[woman] Yeah. Please tell.
And have an open mind to listen.
-[man] Yes, yes, definitely.
I admitted
to bring in Bhagwan
to USA.
Which US interpreted
as immigration fraud.
But it was not an immigration fraud,
I took Bhagwan with legal visa,
but I said yes, I'm responsible
for bringing Bhagwan.
I was
I agreed
to what do you call? Wiretape.
In Bhagwan's room.
-Bhagwan's room.
-[woman] You did that?
For safety of Bhagwan
because Bhagwan was alone
in his room and we must have security
that in case he needs help,
we can come.
And that was also
with the consent of Bhagwan.
[woman] Oh, wow! Really?
[Sheela] What people write,
talk about, whatever nonsense
I pleaded not guilty
and judge accepted my non-guilty plea.
[man] You obviously seem like
a very spiritual, very peaceful person.
I want to know what drove you
to sort of do some of the bad stuff
that we hear about, or we see.
Like the crimes and stuff.
What led to that?
[Sheela] Why do you make this judgment,
young man?
Were you there?
-Had you seen it?
No. Have you seen anyone do it?
But after 35 years,
people are still talking about it.
They have not moved an inch away.
No matter where I go. People only ask me
Normally, when you have served a sentence,
it is 0-0.
In my case,
it multiplies
goes every time I come in contact
with somebody.
[light music]
"Can you tell us about these crimes?"
-Why? You want to commit crimes also?
-[people laugh]
Do you want to learn that from me?
[woman 1] At least, now you will
finally say you have hosted a murderer
-at some point in your life.
-[woman 2] But she is not.
No! Who? Who did she murder?
[woman 3] It was attempted.
-[woman 1] That's what we are going with?
-[woman 2] That's what we are going with!
-Cheers, guys. To a great evening.
-[man 6] Yes.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
-Thank you. I wish you all good health.
-Thank you.
Thank you.
[light music continues]
-[tense music]
-I didn't have a gun here
until they bombed our hotel.
[reporter 8]
There is absolutely no love lost
between the disciples of Bhagwan Rajneesh
and the long term residents
of Antelope, Oregon.
[reporter 9] Almost since it
was created, Rajneeshpuram
has been in court defending its right
to exist
against a barrage of charges, legal
maneuvers by people who live in the area.
[Sheela] I'm not a woman
who stabs from the back
but I don't believe in turning
the other cheek.
If somebody's gonna give me a whack,
I'm going to give it right back
-from one hand, other hand and bottom too.
-[upbeat music]
I tell you the county
is so fucking bigoted,
it deserves to be taken over.
[people cheer]
[reporter 10] It was her greed for power,
the Bhagwan claimed,
that led to her attempting
to poison three of his top aides
and even the larger population
of The Dalles.
Even though I'm a non-violent person,
that in self defense I will do that.
[people applaud]
[reporter 11] A list of criminal
allegations exist against him.
[female reporter 6] And in the home
of Ma Anand Sheela,
they discovered a hidden tunnel
and a clandestine secret laboratory.
A spokesperson says
they found mice that were being
slowly poisoned
as well as books on assassination.
[reporter 12] He said
that his own bedroom was being bugged,
that the commune had concealed mics
and taps on the telephone.
[reporter 13] The latest explosive charge
from Bhagwan is that
Sheela was planning to bomb
the Wasco County Courthouse.
And you tell your governors,
you tell your attorney generals
and all your bigoted pigs outside.
One of our person, I will have
15 of their heads.
And I mean business.
-[people applaud]
[Barkha] You came across as this Bohemian,
rebellious, often foul mouth,
brave, reckless
Today, I'm looking at a woman
who seems very polite,
soft-spoken, elegant.
Is that age? Or has Sheela changed?
[audience laughs]
[Barkha] Is Sheela no longer wild?
It is a mystery.
-[audience applauds]
And Sheela was always polite and loving
when she was young.
This front that I had to put up
that was a deterrent from people
who were trying to discriminate
against our community.
[audience applauds]
[Barkha] Talk about your time in jail.
How did you cope with that time?
Because you actually were let off
much earlier
for "good behavior"
as the American legal system calls it.
-It was not a good behavior in that sense.
I mean the wild, wild Sheela
now cannot transform into this good girl.
[audience hooting]
[Barkha] Is there something not unfair
about the fact
that the women were penalized and the man
at the heart of this,
nothing happened to him?
-Well, he did go to jail for 15 days.
-[Barkha laughs]
He could not. He didn't
If he would have been there any longer,
probably he would have died.
But he did not stand by you.
He called you a criminal.
I have to tell you, as a woman, this
disturbs me and I want you to be angry.
-Why aren't you angry?
-I cannot satisfy you.
-[Sheela chortles]
-[audience applauds]
So how do you reconcile who Sheela is
with what people want her to be
or expect of her?
I fully understand
that you all have opinion of Sheela
from your own experience,
own vision,
or how you feel about me.
Just don't call me spiritual,
-criminal is better than spiritual for me.
-[Barkha laughs]
[Sheela] I didn't want
to become spiritual.
I didn't want to become enlightened
or learn about meditation.
I have no interest in there.
[people cheering]
[Sheela] I was just a young girl
living her own life, exploring.
And I went to Bhagwan
because I fell in love with him.
[Sheela] Cardamom tea.
Just don't look down. There's garbage.
Just look up.
[Sheela] Life is multi-dimension.
[light music]
There's no black and white.
They have shades of colors,
shades of information.
I built one of the finest cities.
Nobody is asking me,
"Where did you get that strength?"
I'm just as much a human
as any person here.
Bhagwan had the product
which was not tangible.
So it was the perfect product to market
called enlightenment.
When I was an Empress,
the kingdom was rosy.
[Raghu] Sheela ji, one simple question
-that everybody would like to know
-[Sheela] Yes, I have not committed crime.
-[Raghu] Really?
When are you going to do that?
-When are you going to do that?
-[Sheela] Exactly now.
I'm sorry. You've shut yourself up
to minimize, to simplify
and to end it there.
At the ultimate end of things. Sorry.
-You know Uh
-That's how I see life
and that's how I live life.
-But may I say?
-Yes, please do.
-That enlightened person like you,
they open up details.
Without the details, the ultimate truth
is not enough for people like us.
-So that's why we have come all the way--
-Allow me to correct you,
that exactly proves
that I am not enlightened.
[both chortle]
[speaks in Hindi]
Oh, still
[in English] We know
about your experiences
and they have so much in them
and so much power
that you need to share if you like to.
I am sharing, I am not holding back.
You're minimizing it
-and going to the top.
[Bina] Twenty years ago
when the Jessica Lal
thing happened to us and we were like,
"Bina Ramani, Malini Ramani,
look, there they go."
So it was a horrible time to be
in my skin.
I had it the worst.
I was the main witness.
We had to go to court and in the car
If our car stopped at
a traffic light,
everybody from the cars would say
"Look, look",
like we have come out of a zoo.
Malini was almost comatose
for those months.
So I suggested let's go
to Osho's from Santa Cruz airport.
Malini was in a very low state
when Jessica Lal had died.
With fingers being pointed at her.
She was extremely
Couldn't get over it for a long time.
So then we get there and the first thing
that you have to do
is remove everything you came with.
Down to your watch, rings, everything,
and your clothes and you have
to pick a maroon garment from the lot.
And the minute we got into maroon
and we were in an ocean of maroon,
nobody gave a shit.
This is Bina Ramani
or Malini Ramani and all.
We were suddenly free of ourselves
My daughter, Malini.
We are your biggest fans.
Welcome then.
[Malini] See life,
it's always fluid and changing
in directions you never expect.
I never thought that way,
never expected it.
I thought I will die
with my backpack of criminalities.
We've all been arrested for a while.
[both laugh]
-I've been arrested many times too.
-Yes, me too.
[Bina] I'm gonna stand straight.
Quick. I just felt that you were
part of my world
after we were finally free
and it's just constant dichotomy.
But God is with us.
[female host] Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
please settle down, we are about to begin.
We'll be joined shortly
-by Ma Sheela.
-Did you guys get a bit of rest?
[female host] She has been in India
over the last 20 days talking to people
and today, we have the pleasure
of asking her about her crimes,
her past and Osho.
[Anurag] So how has your trip been so far?
-It's so difficult.
-[Anurag laughs]
-Do we have to button it?
I'm just clicking a picture of yours.
Like a boss woman.
[woman] This is power.
This is power?
-We have it.
-[woman] Power from the heart.
We have it.
Sorry, I didn't get it.
-[woman] Okay.
We show it again.
Pull power out of the box.
-[upbeat music]
-She, certainly deep down,
had lust for power.
In these three and a half years,
she has become
a world-famous celebrity.
The ego has become too big.
I was silent for three and a half years
and in that silent period,
the group of Ma Anand Sheela
exploited the innocent sanyasins
and tried to create a religion.
And she became the high priestess
of the religion.
Sheela was afraid
of more intelligent people.
She herself was uneducated,
not very intelligent.
She was just a hotel waitress.
All dignity that she thinks she has
was given by me.
[reporter 14] Many feel that Bhagwan
both knows and knew a lot more
than he is letting on.
I think he knew what kind of person
Sheela was.
She was just my secretary.
-[reporter 15] Just your secretary?
[reporter 15] And she didn't tell you
what was going on?
She did not.
She says she was my lover.
I don't love prostitutes.
He let you down very very deeply
as a human being.
-Um I don't think so.
-[light music]
-When you leave a person
who is a part of your breathing
it does hurt.
Your lungs feel it.
But that's how it was.
I don't deny it.
I have to now find a way
to come out of it.
What you just spoke of I am just, maybe
finding mirrors for my own journey. But
exactly that, you love someone so deeply,
it's like breathing, like oxygen.
And to rip that out is to rip
a banyan tree out of you.
Rip your skin off for the renewal.
At a less epic scale, I've been through
a similar arc of deep trust
and deep betrayal
and deep public shame, over
-[Sheela] But I'm without shame.
[both chortle]
I know. By the way, so am I.
[Sheela] When a person is in anger,
says utter nonsense.
On top of it,
he was doing
drugs which make you depressed
and has an effect of schizophrenia.
But same Bhagwan, a year later,
says, "Sheela could not do anything
wrong to me.
She loved me so.
She would die for me."
There came out the truth
what was in his heart.
[Shoma] You know many people
have asked you
and I'm not gonna ask you that question
whether you actually perpetrated
the bio-terror attack
and poisoned the town.
I'm not gonna ask you whether you tried to
assassinate a senator and your co-workers.
I'm not going to ask you those questions.
So the question to you is
would you have poisoned a town
if it needed to be done?
-[audience laughs]
-You said you weren't going to ask me.
-I didn't ask you whether you did it.
I said if it needed to be done,
would you do it?
I'm asking a hypothetical question.
I did not do it.
I would not do it.
I am my parents' daughter
who had learnt the correct values of life.
And I'm being very patient.
You don't even know
how many hundreds of journalists
have gone through my life
since imprisonment.
And the same old
Nobody has any creative questions.
[Shoma] Ma Sheela, that's very unfair
to me. Let me remind you,
unlike all the other journalists
I didn't ask you whether you had done it.
I asked you whether you would like
to have done it.
[Shoma laughs]
I agree with you, you were a bit polite.
-Bit creative.
-But your curiosity
was in the same shit.
-Same shit?
-[audience cheers]
[news anchor] Why Ma Anand Sheela is such
an intriguing figure?
The 70-year-old Ma Anand Sheela of today
is a transformed woman
who wants to stick
to a carefully prepared script.
Love, beauty and social service.
[Sukriti] A lot of us are very scared of
what the press will say about us.
-I mean we live in fear of that.
-[Sheela] Yeah.
[Sukriti] We live in fear of even
what people on social media today
will say about us.
Often, it is my experience
that journalists have already written
their story before they meet me.
-In their mind or even sometimes
-Open your eyes.
Open your eyes.
Look up. Thank you.
[Sheela] Then those journalists
have very little to do with me.
[Sukriti] 'Cause they just want
to come and say okay,
-[Sheela] Yeah, it's a protocol,
so they can say,
"Yes, we did interview Sheela."
But in reality,
they have not heard what I said.
I'm thinking let's not bore her
with the same question.
So, let's see how does it go?
Maybe you should ask her.
-[woman] People will lie.
Of course. They will not be as honest
as you are.
That's for sure.
-[woman] And she'll gauge that.
-Maybe they will now.
Maybe they will.
-[woman] They will not, they will not.
-[man] Let's try.
They will not?
[woman] You're cheating. That's cheating.
[Sheela] How many of you
are honest with yourself ruthlessly?
-Is that true?
-[man 1] Ruthlessly.
-[man 2] Ruthlessly.
-[woman 1] With yourself, right?
-[woman 2] Okay.
How many of you do introspection?
All of us.
[Sanjay] But is it honest?
I am sure everyone does it.
But do you really listen to your heart?
I don't think so.
How many of you are hypocrites?
-[Sanjay] I think all are.
-[woman 3] All are.
[all laugh]
I am.
[Sanjay] But what degree of hypocrite
-that you become
-[Sukirti] Why is it about degrees?
-No degree.
Are we or are we not?
[woman 4] It's like,
"I'm a little bit of a hypocrite."
No. I'll add
[pensive music]
[Sheela] You cannot change the question
of the people
until they are ready to change themselves.
criminal charges,
sex, free sex,
for over 35 years.
[Sheela] It is also
that you occupy your mind
with mundane questions,
and then you don't have to think
of yourself.
If they ask you a question
where they can learn,
then they have to change themselves.
Because when you come across
something that is profound,
then you have to change yourself.
I have moved and I have gone through
all that.
But people who ask me the same question
over and over again,
they don't want to win the race.
They don't want to move on.
They just want to occupy themselves
with my scandals
so they don't have to look
at their own scandals.
Such a huge fan.
You are amazing. Like, you have guts.
This is true. I have lot of it.
[reporter 16] This was the kind of
performance that Sheela was known for
among the residents of Oregon.
[female reporter 7]
And you made an art out of comebacks
whether it was "tough titties"
Good luck to you and your pimps.
[young Sheela] Up yours, buddy.
[female reporter 8]
And she makes it abundantly clear
that if you don't agree with her,
you're the one getting it wrong.
[interviewer] You said that once you have
paid your dues for a crime, you are
considered innocent of it again.
Having said that, do you feel
any responsibility
or do you feel any remorse or regret
for having done the things?
Ninety percent I have answered
all these questions
and they keep coming back.
Then, they become a nuisance.
-But it came out of your mouth.
-I'll tell it now.
Your network can go and jump in a lake.
-You seemed to try to provoke people.
-Take your microphone and leave.
And please never come again here.
[reporter 17] No more questions, Sheela?
Sheela, why did you stop the interview?
[interviewer] Would you like to tell us
what really happened?
No. I don't want to tell you
about what really happened
because what I will tell you
what really happened,
you won't believe me.
Does that upset you?
That, "Look, I said this but it was
interpreted in a totally different way."
To me, it doesn't make a difference
because I know who I am
and what I am.
But then if it doesn't bother you,
what are you seeking from this?
Redemption for yourself?
[light music]
-[phone rings]
-Hey, child.
[Anuja] Hey, how are you? I've been seeing
all the photos and stuff on WhatsApp.
I want to be with my lovely daughter.
[Anuja] Thanks.
And how is Isabel?
[Anuja] She's good,
she's with her dad tonight.
It's Halloween.
So they're trick-or-treating.
Okay, is she dressing up like Sheela?
[Anuja] Oh, shut up.
Can I have the pleasure of teaching her
the bad words?
[Anuja] Yeah, you can.
-You can say "tough titties".
You know, you know what they're doing here
in India on social media?
[Anuja] No.
They use my words
almost like emojis.
[Anuja] How so? What does, like
They call it me-me or the mimic or the
-[Anuja] A meme. Yeah.
-Meme, right.
-You know meme?
-[Anuja] Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.
So they use my statements and things
as a meme.
[Anuja] That's funny.
Look, you're going back to your roots.
I think I may be.
-[Anuja] That's good.
-That's good.
[Anuja] Yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
[speaking in Gujarati]
Ah, okay, here it is. Right, Savita aunty
would sit here.
-Uncle would sit ahead.
-[Piyush] Right.
-[in English] They took away the garden.
-[Piyush] Oh yeah, they took away.
[Piyush in Hindi]
Do you have something to eat now?
[in English] This is amazing.
[woman in Hindi]
Sheela, we recognized you
as Mr. Ambalal's daughter.
You're right.
-I surely am Ambalal's daughter.
-He was as powerful as you.
After all these years, how come
you're here? Did you miss your house?
I missed the house. I am nearing
the end of my life
-You must stay back.
-I am nearing the end of my life
[woman in Hindi] No, why do you say that?
Your dad and mother passed away,
and now you are talking about this
[in English] That was our house,
And I was born in this room.
This was mine and Maya's room.
What all happens in 70 years.
[in Gujarati] How are you?
I'm good.
-Is everything all right?
-I'm doing well.
[in English] Ahh, he made laddus.
[woman in Gujarati]
Your father liked laddus too, right?
[Sheela in Gujarati]
Indeed, he did.
My father's pillows.
Father's pillows.
He used to sit here all day
-on the swing.
-[Piyush] He'd sit all day.
[in English] Wonderful.
My father would sit on this
and wait
for the post to bring
letters from the prison
and he would read it to everybody.
[emotional music]
India has just flooded the emotions.
It is like
a dam has been broken.
[woman] All this while,
what were you thinking?
You thought that you had
locked away something?
No, not locked away.
I thought I had worked out these emotions.
[Sheela] I was thrown into an open sea.
I had number of hardships
after I left Bhagwan.
[emotional music continues]
During this time,
I had to
go within myself
and find, analyze
did I offer it to gain something?
Or was it the offering?
[thunder rumbling]
[Sheela] Where are we going?
[man] The Burning Ghat,
where Osho was cremated.
[Sheela] And It was
from all corners clear.
It wasn't even an offering.
It was the nature of love.
-[Sheela] It's the new bridge they built?
-[Sophie] Yes.
-[Sheela] Haji Ali will be on this side?
-[Sophie] Yeah.
You remember these roads
after all these years?
[Sheela] When I see Haji Ali,
then I say, "Oh, now only
few more minutes and I'll be
in the Woodland area."
That's when I met him
and that meeting
was what
this whole
storm has created
in my life, in Bhagwan's life,
in sanyasins' life.
I think it was that
apartment and I can see
Bhagwan's room from here also.
Number 8?
[doorbell rings]
It is
over 40 years.
I was here with my father.
When did you become a follower of Bhagwan?
When I was 21.
[in Hindi]
Please can we come in?
[servant in Hindi] No, madam is not home.
-She's gone out.
[Sheela in English]
This was Bhagwan's living room.
[girl in Hindi] She used to live
in this house many years ago.
[servant in Hindi] That's fine.
You will need to talk to madam.
I cannot let you in.
[young Sheela in English]
What to do? Life is like that.
Life has day and night.
Life has life and death.
And what is so beautiful?
A woman who has experienced
a man dying right near her.
Right in my lap, my husband died.
If it wasn't for Bhagwan's wisdom,
today I could have been a neurotic woman.
I was able to take that death
as acceptance.
[light music]
[waves crashing]
[Sheela] When you love somebody
it is automatic that you offer.
But every queen goes through guillotine
and I have been through guillotine
and I wish we can move on.
They have to stop asking why
or how or what.
Put yourself in my shoes
and look within.
How will you feel?
There is so much more.
But there's also a reality in history
that people who lose
[Sheela] See you, guys.
[woman] Yes, bye.
they are not recorded either.
But history is not written
for my part.
History is of Bhagwan.
It is Bhagwan's history,
not Sheela's history.
[thunder rumbling]
[Sheela in German]
But later you told me
that you want to speak to your mother.
But mother died long ago.
Of course, look at me,
-look at me.
-No, she is not dead.
Yes, your mother is dead,
your dad is no more,
just like mine.
-Yours are dead.
-Yes, mine are also dead.
-Theyre still alive.
Then I should do what Christina does
No, they are not alive anymore.
They are alive.
-In your heart.
-No That is so stupid.
[in English]
And this is the bed father died in.
[light music]
[Sheela in German]
As one grows old,
one has to be aware of the life
one has lived. And then comes death.
And one has to be prepared to go.
-To go?
-To go.
Also that, but we do not know at all
what happens afterwards
because we cannot look into the future.
Cannot look at all.
One has to come back to this moment.
And at this moment,
what can I do
for my future death?
How can I make this dying easier?
-[Sheela] Tony?
-[Tony] Yes.
[Tony in German]
The salad.
-Salad was good?
-Very good.
So shall we cancel the meal?
[Sheela chortles]
[indistinct chatter]
[Sheela in English]
People ask the same questions.
They don't want to move on.
Let's say all of these put together
is public truth.
[reporter 18] Sheela, the terrible,
Sheela, the charmer. To see one is
to believe the other doesn't exist.
[Sheela] Not my reality,
public truth.
Without knowing my reality,
without feeling my reality,
they have condemned me.
[Sheela] They want me to redeem myself,
then they can say,
"Oh we redeem ourselves also."
What will you redeem?
You will redeem love.
I went in a prison,
I sat there 39 months,
now it's enough.
How will you redeem yourself?
My past is lived by me,
I have to own it.
lies in guilt.
That's why I cannot redeem myself.
[light music continues]