Second Honeymoon (2001) Movie Script
1
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH.
GEORGE? GEORGE!
WAKE UP. BRIDGET IS OUTSIDE
WITH DRAKE. DO SOMETHING.
- GEORGE!
- WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
GO DOWN THERE AND FIND OU WHY SHE'S HERE.
UHH.
HI, HONEY!
DADDY'LL BE RIGHT DOWN!
JUST TOSS HER THE KEYS.
NO. YOU BETTER GO DOWN THERE
AND LET HER IN,
AND DON'T LET HER COME UP HERE
UNTIL I FIX THINGS.
WHY DIDN'T SHE CALL?
YOU KNOW, SHE ALWAYS CALLS.
MAKE PANCAKES, GEORGE,
AND FIND OU WHY SHE DIDN'T CALL.
WELL, YOU WERE THE ONE
WHO SAID THE KIDS
HAVE TO KNOW SOMETIME.
MAGGIE, MAGGIE, THAT'S MY
PRESENTATION FOR MONDAY!
I KNOW THAT EVERYONE
HAS TO FIND OUT,
BUT I AM NO GOING TO TELL BRIDGE THAT WE ARE SEPARATING
IN FRONT OF HER BOYFRIEND.
SHE'D NEVER FORGIVE US.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE
THOUGHT ABOUT THA BEFORE YOU KICKED ME
OUT OF THE BEDROOM.
I DIDN'T KICK YOU OUT.
WE DECIDED.
NO, YOU DECIDED.
I WAS THINKING.
OH, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
MAGGIE, MAGGIE, MAGGIE,
BEFORE COFFEE.
REMEMBER DR. BEEMAN'S
RULE NUMBER 5 EXPRESSLY STATES
NO FIGHTING BEFORE COFFEE.
I AM NOT FIGHTING.
I AM PACKING.
$1.50 A SHIRT, MAGGIE.
ONE DOLLAR AND 50 CENTS.
LIGHT STARCH, FRENCH CUFFS.
JEEZ.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. I SWEAR YOU WOULD
WAIT FOR CHANGE ON THE "TITANIC."
LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
YOU JUST CAN'T STAND IT,
CAN YOU?
YOU ARE RIGHT.
I CAN'T STAND THROWING AWAY GOOD MONEY.
YOU CAN'T STAND
THAT I SAID IT,
THAT I WAS THE ONE
WHO FINALLY BROKE DOWN
IN DR. BEEMAN'S OFFICE LAST WEEK
AND SAID I WANTED A SEPARATION.
HAPPY 20th ANNIVERSARY!
[SIGHS]
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY.
OUR 20th ANNIVERSARY.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- UH...OK, OK.
BLUEBERRY OR BANANA WALNUT?
BANANA WALNUT.
THEY TAKE LONGER!
YEAH. COMING!
COMING! HEY!
HI!
WHAT A SURPRISE.
ALL RIGHTY.
GOT SOME MORE. HUH?
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
YOU DON'T EAT LIKE THIS
AT SCHOOL, DO YOU?
NO.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
YOU LEFT THESE
IN KEVIN'S CLOSET.
BRIDGET AND DRAKE ARE
UNPACKING IN THE DEN.
THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING.
I KNOW THEY ARE.
WE HAVE GOT TO GET RID
OF ALL THESE PLANTS.
- WHY?
- BECAUSE IT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY.
WHERE THERE'S PLANTS,
THERE'S BUGS.
I HATE BUGS. EVERYONE KNOWS I HATE BUGS.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
MOM, CAN YOU GET IT?
YEAH, I'LL BE
RIGHT THERE, HONEY.
WHAT YOU HATE IS
MY PLANT BUSINESS.
OH, OH, I'M SORRY.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
GEE, I THOUGH I PAID FOR THE LEASE.
WITH OUR MONEY AFTER
I GUILTED YOU INTO IT.
DON'T FORGET DR. BEEMAN'S
RULE NUMBER 3, GEORGE--
ACKNOWLEDGE HONEST EFFORT.
YEAH, WHAT ABOUT RULE NUMBER 4?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- DON'T KEEP SCORE.
- I'M NOT KEEPING SCORE.
I'M MAKING A POINT.
- MOTHER.
- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
OH, DARLING, ARE YOU SURPRISED?
TELL ME YOU'RE SURPRISED.
HEY, SEAN.
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
- SEAN.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, BABY.
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE MY
SISTER MARRIED 20 YEARS!
THE NEW HOUSE
LOOKS WONDERFUL, MAGGIE.
GEORGE MUST BE DOING WELL.
OH, DID I NOT TELL YOU HE'S
VICE PRESIDENT AT THE BANK NOW?
MINOR DETAIL.
WELL DONE, GEORGE.
UH, PATRICIA, HOW LONG ARE YOU
GONNA BE STATESIDE?
TWO WEEKS HERE,
THEN IT'S BACK TO KILKENNY.
AH. WONDERFUL.
TWO WEEKS. UM...
WELL, YOU CAN STAY
IN BRIDGET'S ROOM.
I MEAN, SHE CAN STAY IN BRIDGET'S ROOM,
CAN'T SHE, MAGGIE?
YEAH, I THINK
IT LOOKS THE SAME.
ABSOLUTELY. IT'S CLEAN.
ARE YOU OK, MOM?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE PALE.
HEY! PARTY!
- KEVIN.
- HEY, DAD. HOW YOU DOING?
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
DO YOU HAVE 20 BUCKS FOR THE CAB?
[GIGGLING]
20 TURTLE DOVES, GEORGE.
ONE FOR EVERY YEAR
OF WEDDED BLISS.
THANK YOU, WILSON.
SO NICE OF YOU TO COME.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- HEY.
HEY, DAD.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY SON.
WELL, WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?
YOUR MOM'S IN THE LADIES ROOM.
BUMPY FLIGHT OUT OF DALLAS.
WILSON BETTINCOURT.
PRESIDENT, NEIGHBORHOOD SAVINGS.
OOH-HOO. THE BOSS.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
I ALWAYS KNEW THA GEORGE WAS DESTINED
FOR A CAREER IN BANKING.
- NOW, DAD.
- NEVER SPENT HIS ALLOWANCE.
ALWAYS KEPT HIS PENNIES IN A CAN
UNDER THE BED.
- THAT'S ENOUGH, DAD.
- NO, NO, NO, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
AND HE HAD ME TAKE THEM
TO THE BANK WHEN HE WAS 8
SO THAT HE COULD SEE IF THE GUARDS
HAD REAL BULLETS IN THEIR GUNS.
THANK YOU.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
AND TO MEET UNCLE SAM.
[LAUGHTER]
MOM.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
MARJORIE-- MY WIFE.
VERY GLAD TO KNOW YOU.
YOU GOTTA EA THAT MACARONI SALAD.
SHE CARRIED IT ON HER LAP
ALL THE WAY UP HERE.
MR. BETTINCOUR FROM THE BANK IS HERE.
HE BROUGHT A CAKE--
DOUBLE CHOCOLATE.
- WHERE DO YOU WANT THESE?
- THAT IS FINE.
- DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?
- PLEASE.
OH. DIDN'T YOU WEAR THIS
TO MY GRADUATION?
MM-HMM. AND IT STILL FITS.
THAT'S NOT THE POINT, MOM.
BUY SOMETHING BESIDES A PLANT.
- YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
- TELL YOUR FATHER.
YOU AND DAD AREN'T MAD
AT ME AND KEVIN
FOR HAVING A PARTY, ARE YOU?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
KEVIN THINKS YOU GUYS
ARE ACTING KINDA WEIRD.
WE'RE JUST TIRED,
LOVE, YOU KNOW?
YOUR FATHER HAD TWO
BUSINESS TRIPS THIS MONTH
AND THE NURSERY'S
RUNNING ME RAGGED.
I DON'T BELIEVE DAD
SLEEPS IN HERE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OF COURSE HE DOES.
WE BOTH DO.
ALL THE TIME.
HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME
HAVE A CACTUS INDOORS.
WHERE'S THE PHOTO ALBUM?
BEDSIDE TABLE.
UH, MOM?
DAD'S SOCKS ARE IN HERE.
- HA!
- [GIGGLES]
WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?
I THINK YOU FATHER'S
GETTING A WEE BIT DOTTY.
- OHH.
- HEY, MAGGIE.
- HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
- OH, YES. PUNCH.
HARD OR SOFT?
MAGGIE. YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW
NEEDS A SPONGE MOP.
SHE THINKS IT'S
STICKY OUT THERE.
YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS.
HARD.
YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
THANK YOU.
[KISS]
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, GEORGE.
I LOVE YOUR HOUSE.
YOU CAN FEEL ALL THE HAPPY
MEMORIES HERE.
OH, YES, YOU CAN, CAN'T YOU?
OH, UH, MAGGIE. KIDS.
THIS IS LOIS EVERLY.
SHE'S-- SHE'S NEW AT THE BANK.
LOIS. IS THAT THE LOIS
FROM ESCROW?
MAGGIE, CAN I JUST HAVE
A WORD WITH YOU? EXCUSE US.
UM, LOOK. LET ME JUST MAKE
ONE THING PERFECTLY CLEAR.
I DON'T LIKE THIS
ANY MORE THAN YOU DO, BUT--
[LAUGHTER]
WE'RE BOTH IN THIS TOGETHER,
SO YOU BEHAVE.
YOU SEEM HAPPY ENOUGH,
GEORGE, HUH?
CORAL IS NOT YOUR COLOR.
MAGGIE.
- WH--
- THINK, MAGGIE, THINK.
YOUR MOTHER IS HERE FOR
TWO WEEKS WITH YOUR BROTHER
AND MY MOTHER IS
IN HERE CLEANING.
HOW HAPPY CAN I BE?
IS THAT LOIS THE SAME LOIS
THAT YOU TOOK TO CHICAGO
FOR THAT LOAN CONFERENCE?
I DIDN'T TAKE HER.
THE BANK SENT HER.
SHE'S GOT AN MBA, OK?
YOU PUT YOUR SOCKS
IN THE BEDSIDE DRAWER
AND BRIDGET FOUND THEM.
WHAT'D YOU TELL HER?
I TOLD HER YOU WERE
GETTING SENILE,
AND KEVIN THINKS
WE'RE ACTING WEIRD.
WE ARE ACTING WEIRD.
WE'RE DRINKING IN A LAUNDRY ROOM.
I CAN'T STAND IT, GEORGE.
I WANT TO TELL EVERYBODY
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
- WHAT?
- THE FAMILY'S ALL HERE.
SO IS MY BOSS.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
AHEM. HI. MOM AND DAD,
JUST THOUGHT YOU'D KNOW THA THERE'S A CAKE ON THE PORCH
WHEN YOU GUYS ARE DONE.
GOT IT. OK.
NOBODY IS TELLING
ANYONE ANYTHING.
NOW, YOU WANTED TO WAI FOR THE RIGHT TIME.
TRUST ME, THIS ISN' THE RIGHT TIME.
[DOOR CLOSES]
SUNSHINE ON A STEM FOR
OUR FAVORITE NEW CLIEN FROM BAKER SEED COMPANY.
THAT'S LOVELY.
GEORGE BROUGHT ME ROSES ONCE.
THERE WAS A GIVEAWAY
AT THE CAR WASH
AND IT CAME WITH A FREE
CAN OF WAX.
NOW, NOW, HE MAY PINCH
A PENNY OR TWO,
BUT YOU TWO HAVE A LOT TO SHOW
FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS.
WHAT ABOUT THE NEXT 20 YEARS?
MOMMY, THERE'S SOMETHING
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU--
BUT THEY COULD BE
THE BEST YEARS OF ALL.
AFTER YOU GOT MARRIED
AND SEAN SETTLED IN BOSTON,
THAT'S WHEN YOUR FATHER AND I
TOOK UP THE TANGO.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
OH!
GEORGE WON'T EVEN
BRING ME A ROSE.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'LL
WEAR ONE BETWEEN HIS TEETH?
SHOWTIME.
SHE WAS JUST 18,
A YOUNG IRISH LASS
ALL ALONE IN AMERICA.
[LAUGHTER]
THE BEST AU PAIR THE THOMPSONS
EVER HAD.
THEY NEVER FORGAVE GEORGE WESTON FOR
TAKING HER AWAY. [CHURCH BELLS CHIMING]
KEVIN, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU MADE THIS.
THE YOUNG COUPLE HONEYMOONED
ON THE ROAD...
HA HA HA!
AND THEN SETTLED IN MARRIED
STUDENT HOUSING IN SEATTLE.
YOU SEE GEORGE SPARED
NO EXPENSE.
[LAUGHTER]
- THEY HAD A BALCONY.
THAT WAS A FIRE ESCAPE.
WELL, THEY COULD BARBECUE.
[LAUGHTER]
IT RAINED THE FIRST FEW MONTHS
WE WERE THERE.
[LAUGHS]
IT WAS LIKE AN OLD FRIEND
COME TO VISIT.
FELT LIKE I WAS
BACK IN IRELAND.
- OH, DARLING.
- A YEAR LATER, BRIDGET WESTON WAS BORN.
[THUNDER]
[BABY CRYING]
NOT WASTING ANY TIME,
KEVIN WESTON, HEIR TO THE THRONE,
ARRIVED 10 MONTHS LATER.
WHY AM I THE ALIEN
AND YOU GET FIREWORKS, KEVIN?
- IT'S HIS MOVIE.
- HA HA!
LIKE COLUMBIA RIVER SALMON,
THE WESTONS' LIFE WAS UPSTREAM,
BUT THEY NEVER
LET IT GET THEM DOWN.
GEORGE GOT A JOB AT THE BANK... [BELLS
RINGING] [CASH REGISTER BELL RINGS]
AND SOON THEY COULD AFFORD
MORE THAN A LUMP OF COAL
IN THEIR STOCKINGS AT CHRISTMAS.
- YAY!
- LOOK AT THAT.
GEORGE HAD A PAPER ROUTE
BY THE TIME HE WAS 9.
A MORNING AND EVENING ROUTE.
- PLEASE.
- YES.
THE YEARS WENT BY.
MAGGIE'S GARDEN GREW
AND SO DID GEORGE'S JOB
AT THE BANK.
HE BECAME A LOAN OFFICER.
MAGGIE SAW BRIDGET OFF
TO HER PROM.
AFTER THE KIDS GRADUATED
HIGH SCHOOL
AND WENT OFF TO COLLEGE,
MAGGIE OPENED A NURSERY
AND DAD BECAME A VICE PRESIDENT.
WHEN THE KIDS ARE AWAY,
THE PARENTS CAN PLAY.
THERE'S NO STOPPING
GEORGE AND MAGGIE WESTON,
TOGETHER FOR 20 YEARS,
LOOKING FORWARD TO 20 MORE.
MOM AND DAD, LONG MAY YOU WAVE.
HA HA HA!
[APPLAUSE]
- LIGHTS!
- WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!
MOM AND DAD, YOU'RE THE BEST.
YOU BOTH SACRIFICE
A LOT OVER THE YEARS
TO RAISE KEVIN AND ME,
AND WE WANT TO GIVE
YOU SOMETHING.
SO GRANDMA AND GRANDPA,
GRANNY AND SEAN,
WE ALL PITCHED IN
TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING
THAT IS LONG OVERDUE.
A SECOND HONEYMOON!
[ALL CHEERING]
5 DAYS ON THE SUNNY ISLAND
OF MANZANILLA,
ALL EXPENSES PAID
AND NON-REFUNDABLE, DAD.
MARGARITA NIGHTS
AND COCONUT DREAMS
ON DORADO BEACH.
BETTER START PACKING.
YOU LEAVE TOMORROW NIGHT ON THE RED-EYE.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CAN'T GO TOMORROW
BECAUSE I HAVE
A BOARD MEETING ON WEDNESDAY.
IT'S ALL
TAKEN CARE OF, GEORGE.
LOIS IS GONNA STAND IN FOR YOU.
UH, YEAH, BUT I HAVE NO ONE
TO COVER FOR ME AT THE NURSERY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
MOTHERS ARE FOR?
- OH, MOM.
- ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?
- YEAH.
- [LAUGHS]
WHOO-HOO!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
WE CAN'T JUST TELL EVERYBODY
THAT WE'RE SEPARATING
AND GET A REFUND.
BECAUSE IT'S NON-REFUNDABLE.
REMEMBER?
YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW,
WE COULD AFFORD
TO GO ANYWHERE WE WANT TO,
ANYTIME WE WANT TO,
BUT ALL YOU EVER DO IS WORK.
YEAH, WELL...
I'M NOT GONNA BE WORKING
THE NEXT 5 DAYS.
I'M GONNA BE WINDSURFING.
THESE KIDS THINK OF EVERYTHING.
THEY GOT ME WINDSURFING LESSONS
AND YOU SCUBA LESSONS.
IT'S JUST THAT A HONEYMOON
IS MEANT TO BE ROMANTIC.
DON'T START ON OUR
SEX LIFE, MAGGIE.
WHAT SEX LIFE, GEORGE?
WE DON'T HAVE A SEX LIFE.
THERE YOU GO.
LOOK, WAIT A MINUTE.
IF WE GO TO MANZANILLA,
NOBODY HAS TO KNOW WHAT WE DO
ONCE WE GET THERE, RIGHT?
WHY DON'T WE TAKE
SEPARATE VACATIONS?
I MEAN, YOU GO YOUR WAY
AND I'LL GO MY WAY.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO TOGETHER
IS GET ON THAT PLANE.
- SEPARATE VACATIONS?
- YEAH.
MIGHT WORK.
[CAR HORN HONKS] - ALL RIGHT.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
OK. UHH.
OHH. MAGGIE.
WHAT IS IN HERE? UHH.
[GRUNTING]
SEAN AND I ARE
WAITING IN THE CAR.
WE'LL BE RIGHT OUT, MOM.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S INCENSE.
BRIDGET GAVE IT TO ME.
NO, MAGGIE.
DON'T BRING THAT.
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA USE IT.
SEPARATE VACATIONS, GEORGE.
COMPRENDE?
COMPRENDE.
"SENOR NO ES MI ESPOSO.
HE IS NOT MY HUSBAND."
"LA CARNE ESTA DEMESAIDA ECHA.
THE MEAT IS OVERDONE."
THEY HAVEN'T COME UP
FOR AIR ONCE.
THEY DON'T NEED AIR, GEORGE.
THEY'RE YOUNG AND IN LOVE.
NEXT.
LET'S SEE. WESTON.
THE HONEYMOON PACKAGE.
ARE YOU GUYS NEWLYWEDS, TOO?
- NO, NOT REALLY.
- OH, OUR KIDS GAVE US A VACATION.
- A SECOND HONEYMOON?
- AWW.
THAT IS SO COOL.
BRAD LUCKINBILL.
THIS IS MY WIFE JENNIFER.
JENNIFER LUCKINBILL.
- MAGGIE WESTON.
- GEORGE. GLAD TO MEET YOU.
ARE YOU GUYS
GOING TO MANZANILLA?
- DORADO BEACH.
- OH, WE ARE, TOO!
CAN'T WAIT.
EXCUSE ME, MR. AND
MRS. WESTON, I'M SORRY,
BUT THE FLIGHT FROM SEATTLE TO
SAN JUAN IS COMPLETELY BOOKED.
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T SEA THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER.
BUT I'M SURE THAT ONCE YOU GE ON BOARD, YOU CAN SWITCH SEATS.
- DON'T WORRY. IT'S FINE, REALLY.
- NO PROBLEM.
THAT'S OK?
YOU'RE SO NICE.
OK, AND I'M SURE
THE AIRLINE CHARTER
SERVICING YOUR CONNECTION
TO MANZANILLA
WILL BE ABLE TO
SEAT YOU TOGETHER.
WE'LL KEEP OUR FINGERS
CROSSED. THANK YOU.
- MM.
- MRS. WESTON, IS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU NEED?
UH, YES, BUT I'M AFRAID
YOU CAN'T HELP ME.
NEXT.
HI. WE'RE GOING
TO MANZANILLA.
HELLO, SENOR.
WELCOME TO MANZANILLA.
WELCOME TO MANZANILLA.
WELCOME TO MANZANILLA.
MR. AND MRS. WESTON.
- YES.
- THIS WAY, PLEASE.
THIS WAY, PLEASE.
MAYBE THE KIDS GOT US A LIMO.
HA HA!
SENOR RIVERA, THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.
WE ARE NOT DRUG DEALERS.
WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS.
WE'RE ON OUR SECOND HONEYMOON.
MM. JASMINE. HA HA HA.
SOOTHING FOR THE NERVES, HUH?
EXCELLENT AFTER A STRESSFUL DAY.
INCENSE.
MY DAUGHTER GAVE IT TO ME
FOR THE TRIP.
BUT WE HAVE NO VIDA LOCA
IN MANZANILLA.
HERE EVERYONE IS, LIKE YOU SAY IN
YOUR COUNTRY, KEEPING IT REAL.
GET THE LUGGAGE.
MY APOLOGIES, MRS. WESTON, HUH?
PLEASE EXCUSE THE ZEAL
OF MY OFFICERS
AND THE NOSES OF MY DOGS.
NOW WE HAVE OUR FIRST STORY
TO TELL THE KIDS.
A GOOD OUTLOOK FOR A WISE MAN.
- THANK YOU, GENERAL.
- NO, PLEASE.
I'M BUT A LOWLY CIVIL SERVANT.
AND MRS. WESTON, MAY I SAY
OUR HUMBLE ISLAND
IS FORTUNATE TO HAVE
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
ADDED TO ITS GARDEN.
OH. YOU CERTAINLY MAY.
YEAH.
GEORGE! OH!
OH, LOOK AT MY NEW SLIP.
SOMEDAY THEY WILL TEACH A DOG
HOW TO INSPECT A LADY'S BAGS.
UNTIL THEN, ALLOW ME.
MY SISTERS WILL TAKE
[INDISTINCT]
CARTE BLANCHE, TO A POINT.
IT'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO.
THANK YOU.
OK, CAN WE LEAVE NOW?
OF COURSE.
MY MAN WILL TAKE YOU TO YOUR HOTEL.
SHOULD YOU NEED
ANY FURTHER ASSISTANCE,
AN HELICOPTER RIDE, PERHAPS,
HERE, HERE.
DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL, HUH?
THANK YOU.
CANNOT BELIEVE YOU LE THAT GUY KISS YOUR HAND.
IT'S THE CUSTOM.
IT WAS VERY SWEET.
AND FRANKLY, IT'S NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OH, OH, AND I SUPPOSE GETTING
BUSTED FOR DRUGS,
THAT WAS NONE OF
MY BUSINESS, TOO.
YOU KNOW, I DO THINK
THAT I TOLD YOU
NOT TO BRING THAT INCENSE.
OH, IT'S A CHARMING TOWN.
OH, YES, LOOK--
WEDDINGS AND DIVORCES.
FULL SERVICE DOWN HERE.
GRACIAS. SHOCK ABSORBERS
WOULD BE NICE.
OOH, THANK YOU.
OH, LOOK AT THIS LOVELY RESORT, GEORGE.
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW,
AS SOON AS WE GET THE ROOMS
SQUARED AWAY,
I'M GONNA GO STRAIGH TO THE BEACH.
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TELL
ME WHERE WE'RE GOING, MAGGIE,
BECAUSE WE'RE ON OUR
OWN NOW, REMEMBER?
I WAS JUST TRYING TO--
BE NICE.
[SQUAWK]
MM. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
BUT SENOR WESTON,
YOU HAVE OUR
MOST LUXURIOUSLY APPOINTED
HONEYMOON SUITE.
IT OVERLOOKS CORAZON ISLAND.
IT HAS ITS OWN JACUZZI.
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T NEED
A JACUZZI.
I NEED MY OWN ROOM.
I'M AFRAID WE'RE BOOKED SOLID
FOR THE NIGHT.
I CAN TRY TO MOVE YOU
IN THE MORNING,
IF I GET A CANCELLATION.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WE NEED TO HAVE SEPARATE ROOMS.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A SUITE.
IT COULD BE A SINGLE OVERLOOKING
THE CAR PARK. WE DON'T CARE.
BUT WE HAVE NOTHING, SENORA.
IF I MAY SUGGEST, I COULD HAVE A
ROLLAWAY BED SENT TO YOUR ROOM.
I'M SORRY. THAT'S THE BES I CAN DO RIGHT NOW.
FINE.
YOU GOT ANY CALYPSO DANCES
OR LIMBO CONTESTS
HERE AT THE HOTEL TONIGHT?
WELL, LET'S SEE.
RICKY MARTIN JUST CHECKED OUT,
JENNIFER LOPEZ IS ON VACATION,
AND CHRISTINA AGUILERA WON'T BE
HERE UNTIL NEXT WEEK.
BUT FOR YOU, WE DO HAVE KARAOKE
AT THE GARDENIA.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
GRACIAS, SENOR.
TWO DOLLARS.
HMM. SO?
WELL, I FIGURE SINCE WE'RE
TAKING SEPARATE VACATIONS,
WE SHOULD SPLIT EVERYTHING
50/50.
FINE.
"FOR THE HONEYMOONERS
WITH OUR COMPLIMENTS."
LOOK, THEY GAVE US
A LOT OF FREE GOODIES.
OH. I'LL TAKE THE CAVIAR.
PERFUME. OOH, CHAMPAGNE.
YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWEL,
THE SUNSCREEN, AND THE CHOCOLATES.
HOW SINFUL IS THE GUAVA GATEAU?
VERY.
WELL, I'LL HAVE ONE
OF THOSE, THEN, PLEASE.
MS. WESTON, I'M TONY.
YOUR SCUBA INSTRUCTOR.
HOLA, TONY.
PLEASE CALL ME MAGGIE.
OK, MAGGIE.
WHEN YOU'RE READY,
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT STAR WITH A LITTLE SNORKELING
TO GET YOU WARMED UP.
YOU CAN SCHEDULE A THE SPORTS DESK ANYTIME.
- HOW ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
- SURE.
SHALL I HAVE YOUR MEAL WAITING
FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK?
YES. WHY DON'T YOU
CHARGE IT TO THE ROOM
AND TAKE A NICE, BIG TIP
FOR YOURSELF?
THANK YOU.
LET'S GO.
YOUR FIRST LESSON.
EXCUSE ME. COULD I GE A BEACH TOWEL HERE?
SURE. HOW ABOU A DRINK, MR....
WESTON. GEORGE WESTON.
OH, A CLUB SODA.
YOUR WIFE HAS A FOOD ORDER IN.
SHALL I JUST ADD THE DRINK
AND BRING EVERYTHING OVER?
WHERE IS SHE?
SNORKELING.
AH, YEAH. THANKS.
- HI.
- HI.
OH, BRAD, LOOK.
IT'S MR. WESTON.
HEY! ISN'T THIS PLACE GREAT?
CARE FOR A CHOCOLATE?
- OH!
- NOT ME. GOTTA FIT INTO MY BIKINI.
GO ON, JENNY.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT CHOCOLATE.
MMM.
OK, BUT JUST ONE.
NO, NO, NO.
TAKE THEM ALL.
HEY! SHOOTERS LATER.
WHAT DO YOU SHAY?
- SHOOTERS.
- SHOOTERS.
RIGHT. HA HA!
CUTE COUPLE.
YEAH. YEAH, I GUESS.
GEORGE WESTON.
OH. GLORIA. LIKE THE SONG.
IT'S A PLEASURE.
HA HA HA!
THIS IS A GREAT BEACH.
MM. THEY BLEACH THE SAND.
REALLY?
IT MUST COST A FORTUNE.
BUT THIS PLACE
IS REALLY SOMETHING.
I MEAN, EVERYONE IS GOING AROUND
WITH A BIG SMILE ON THEIR FACE.
THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE EITHER
JUST MARRIED OR JUST DIVORCED.
OH, SO BIG BUSINESS
DOWN HERE, HUH?
MANZANILLA'S FAMOUS FOR IT.
HA HA HA!
OH. OHH.
WHOA. SOMETHING WRONG?
[WHIRRING]
AH! I SET IT ON VIBRATE.
IT'S MY MASSAGE.
THEY FIND YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE.
KIND OF LIKE THE IRS.
HA HA HA!
THAT'S FUNNY!
YOU'RE CLEVER.
- BANK HUMOR.
- A BANKER. WELL.
SMART AND FUNNY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO WATCH OUT.
BYE.
HERE YOU GO, MR. WESTON.
OH, THANKS.
- THERE YOU GO.
- ALL RIGHT.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
WAIT A MINUTE.
66.27 FOR A CLUB SODA
AND A SNACK? I DON'T THINK SO.
BUT YOUR WIFE SAID
TO CHARGE IT.
WHAT IS THAT?
GUAVA GATEAU.
MAGGIE IS OUT OF HER MIND.
MAGGIE!
MAGGIE.
MAGGIE. MAGGIE.
I JUST SIGNED A BILL FOR LUNCH.
$66.27.
ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK THE BANK
OUR FIRST DAY OUT?
I DIDN'T PAY FOR IT.
THE NURSERY'S A BUSINESS.
IT'S NOT A BLANK CHECK.
GEORGE, WE ARE ON VACATION.
SEPARATE VACATIONS.
SO SEPARATE.
WELL, I COULD, IF I WASN' GETTING BUSTED FOR DRUGS
AND HAVING TO SIGN
FOR YOUR GUAVA GATEAU.
EXCUSE ME, THE LADY IS
IN THE MIDDLE OF A LESSON.
BACK OFF.
SHE'S MY WIFE.
DON'T HIT HIM, PLEASE.
I'LL HAVE TO IDENTIFY THE BODY.
OH, I SEE.
SO IF WE WEREN'T MARRIED,
YOU'D LET THE GUY SLUG ME.
- IS THAT IT?
- TONY, WE'LL FINISH TOMORROW, OK?
- YEAH.
- YEAH...SEE YOU TOMORROW.
RULE NUMBER 9, GEORGE.
RESPECT PERSONAL SPACE.
RULE NUMBER 8-- COMMON GOALS.
IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY
OR MY MONEY, MAGGIE.
IT IS OUR MONEY.
AND I'M SORRY TO BE
A DOWNER AND SPOIL
YOUR CUDDLY SNORKEL OUT THERE,
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE
TO EAT BREAKFAST TOMORROW.
BREAKFAST IS INCLUDED, GEORGE.
OH, BE A CHILD.
RUN AWAY.
THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER HOTEL
ROOM ON THIS ISLAND SOMEWHERE.
WELL, YOU'RE MISS MONEYBAGS.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE?
PASS ME MY SWEATER, WILL YOU?
MY MOTHER GAVE YOU
THAT SWEATER.
THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME.
TIPS AND LUNCH.
YOU OWE ME ONE HALF OF $78.
PUT IT ON MY TAB.
THIS IS YOUR TAB, MAGGIE.
YOU CANNOT PUT A TAB ON A TAB.
SAYS WHO? TAXI!
OH, OH.
YOU'RE GONNA RUSH OFF IN THIS TAXI.
YOU GOT NO IDEA
WHERE THE HELL YOU ARE.
AND DRIVE AROUND ALL DAY
WITH THE METER RUNNING
LOOKING FOR A ROOM SOMEPLACE.
- IS THAT IT?
- DOWNTOWN, PLEASE.
DOWNTOWN? THERE IS NO
DOWNTOWN HERE, MAGGIE.
GEORGE, PEOPLE ARE STARING.
OK, OK, YOU WANT TO BE
BY YOURSELF, MAGGIE? HUH?
YOU WANT TO GO DOWNTOWN? OK. OK.
I THINK IT'S TIME WE TAKE OFF
THE TRAINING WHEELS, MAGGIE.
SEPARATION'S FOR SISSIES.
I MEAN, WE'RE IN THE QUICKIE
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
LET'S DO IT.
I WANT A DIVORCE.
ANDALE.
OH, MR. AND MRS. WESTON.
IT IS YOU WHO SEEK A DIVORCE?
YES, GENERAL.
PLEASE, I AM BU A LOWLY MAGISTRATE.
WHO THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE HERE
ON A SECOND HONEYMOON.
AND WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
A CUSTOMS OFFICIAL.
WELL, MANZANILLA
IS A SMALL ISLAND.
A MAN WHO'S A [INDISTINCT]
MUST WEAR MANY HATS.
PLEASE, SIT.
SO IT WAS NOT TRUE,
WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE
HERE TO CELEBRATE
20 WONDERFUL YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
EVERYTHING THAT WE TOLD YOU
WAS TRUE.
IT'S JUST THAT WE CAN' BE MARRIED ANYMORE.
AND THIS IS INDEED
A SERIOUS MATTER.
WHEN TWO PEOPLE
SUCH AS YOURSELVES
CHOOSE TO REND THE BONDS
THAT HAVE HELD THEM
TOGETHER FOR SO MANY YEARS,
IT US NOT SOMETHING
TO ENTER INTO LIGHTLY.
I ASSUME YOU HAVE
HAD COUNSELING.
A YEAR WITH DR. BEEMAN.
AH HA HA!
DR. BEEMAN.
HAVE YOU SPOKEN
WITH YOUR PRIEST?
ARE THESE QUESTIONS
ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY?
PERHAPS IT WOULD
BE WISE FOR YOU
TO DISCUSS YOUR FEELINGS
FOR AN HOUR OR SO
BEFORE TAKING THE BIG STEP.
ANTONIO RIVERA,
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR.
LOOK, GENERAL, OR YOUR HONOR,
OR WHATEVER,
THESE ARE OUR OWN
PRIVATE FEELINGS.
NOW, WE HAVE DECIDED
WE WANT A DIVORCE.
WELL, IN THAT CASE, I AM BOUND
BY THE LAWS OF MY COUNTRY
TO GIVE YOU ONE.
HERE WE ARE.
I MUST ASK FOR YOUR SIGNATURES
ON THESE FORMS
AND ONCE THEY'RE FILED,
YOUR DIVORCE WILL BE FINAL
IN 48 HOURS.
WE HEARD IT WAS ONE DAY.
WELL, ACCORDING TO THE DISCRETION
OF THE COURT, MR. WESTON.
YOU'RE IN MY COUNTRY FOR 5 DAYS.
I TRUST YOU WILL FIND
ENOUGH DIVERSION
TO MAKE YOUR WAI A PLEASANT ONE.
ON EVERY PAGE, POR FAVOR.
AHEM.
I ALSO OWN A FLEET OF SHIPS.
10% OFF FROM THE COURTHOUSE.
NO, THANKS.
I'LL TAKE A TAXI.
OH.
HAVE NO FEAR, MRS. WESTON.
MANZANILLA IS AN ISLAND OF LOVE.
FEW PEOPLE COME HERE
AND LEAVE UNAFFECTED.
THANK YOU.
SENOR RIVERA,
COULD YOU MAYBE
RECOMMEND A HOTEL
I COULD STAY IN TONIGHT?
OF COURSE.
LET'S SEE.
WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING IN TOWN
THAT COMPARE WITH DORADO BEACH,
BUT...LA COCHA.
BY ANY CHANCE,
DO YOU PLAY SNOOKER?
NO. LA CINTA SOL. NO.
TOO MANY SAILORS.
MRS. WESTON, AS YOUR SAFETY
IS MY PRIMARY CONCERN,
I MUST RECOMMEND THAT YOU RETURN
TO DORADO BEACH.
SHALL I CALL A CAR?
NO. THANK YOU.
NO, NO, NO, ROSA.
I WISH TO HANDLE THE WESTON
DIVORCE PERSONALLY.
GEORGE?
GEORGE?
- THANK YOU.
- DE NADA.
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MRS. WESTON! HI!
HI. REMEMBER ME?
WE MET AT THE AIRPORT.
- CALL ME MAGGIE.
- I'M BRAD.
YOU REMEMBER MY WIFE JENNY.
HI! WHERE'S MR. WESTON?
I DON'T KNOW.
UH, YOU WANT A SHOT?
- NO, THANK YOU.
- HOW ABOUT A COCO LOCO?
NO? UM, OOH!
OH, I KNOW
A JELL-O SHOT!
THEY'RE MANGO!
THEY'RE REALLY GOOD.
- MANGO?
- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OK, JELL-O SHOT, PLEASE.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.
TRUST ME.
[MUSIC STOPS]
[APPLAUSE]
- [SLURPS]
- [GIGGLES]
ISN'T IT GOOD?
IT-- IT'S DELICIOUS.
IT'S VERY NICE.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GIGGLES AND GASPS]
I LOVE THIS SONG.
[CHEERING]
- YEAH!
- LET'S GO!
[CHEERING]
- NO, I...
- [CHEERING]
YEAH! LALALALALA! YEA!
WHOO! YEAH! WHOO!
[CHEERING]
YEAH! WHOO!
RRRRRRRUFF!
[ALL CHEERING]
WHOO-OO-OO!
RRRRRRR...WHOO-HOO!
HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
RRUF!
HOO-HOO!
NO ES MI ESPOSO.
HA HA HA!
NO ES MI ESPOSO.
HEE HEE HEE!
MANGO! MANGO!
OH-OH! OH!
HA HA HA! OH.
[CHEERING]
[SIGHING]
MAY I HAVE A SHO OF JELL-O, PLEASE?
- SI, SENORA.
- EXCUSE ME.
YOU KNOW THERE'S VODKA
IN THAT DRINK?
MM-MM. IT'S MANGO.
IT'S PURE SUGAR
AND PURE ALCOHOL.
YOU LOOK VAGUELY FAMILIAR.
JULIO, CAFE, POR FAVOR.
IS THAT A LAVA LAMP?
NO, THIS IS A TEQUILA SUNRISE.
MM.
YOU SURE CAN SMILE.
AND SO CAN YOU.
OH, WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
HOW DID HE KNOW?
THANK YOU.
DE NADA.
MM. MUCHO CALIENTE.
YOU SPEAK SPANISH?
HERE. TRY THIS.
THANK YOU.
BETTER?
MM-HMM.
HASTA LUEGO.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
SEE YOU AROUND.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH. NO ROOM DOWNTOWN.
UHH. UHH.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU NEED ANYTHING?
OH. OOH.
HOW ABOUT SOME GINGER ALE
OR MAYBE A LITTLE JELL-O?
OH, LEAVE ME ALONE.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GO WINDSURFING.
I DON'T WANT TO MISS THE WAVES.
JUST GO.
GOD, COME ON.
UHH.
OK, GUYS, YOU HAVE TO BE
ABLE TO MOVE.
THAT MEANS KNEES BENT,
PELVIS UNDER,
ARMS LOOSE,
AND READY FOR ANYTHING.
COME ON.
LET'S DO IT.
YOU GO FIRST, GEORGE.
I DON'T THINK MY BODY
CAN DO THAT.
I BET IT CAN.
JUST GO AHEAD. GO!
- COME ON.
- GO, MAN.
- THAT'S IT.
- YEAH.
REMEMBER, PELVIS UNDER.
[GIGGLES]
FEEL THE DIFFERENCE?
YEAH.
YEAH, I BET HE DOES.
[LAUGHTER]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER IN SPANISH]
[BELL RINGS]
- QUE PUEDO AYUDAR?
- LOUISA?
MRS. WESTON?
AH, SI. YO SOY LOUISA.
ANTONIO'S SISTER.
HE SAID TO EXPECT YOU.
COME THIS WAY, PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
COME THIS WAY.
AH, LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT.
LET ME SEE.
LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
- [GROANING]
- WHAT'S WRONG, DEAR?
HANGOVER?
BEATRICE?
JUST A SECOND.
- SI.
- HANGOVER.
- SOPA DE POLLO?
- SI, POR FAVOR.
SOME CHICKEN SOUP WON'T HURT.
DON'T WORRY, DEAR.
WE'RE GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
A COUPLE OF NICE DRESSES
AND LOS ZAPATOS FABULOSOS
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE
GORGEOUS TIMES 10.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HAIR STRAIGH AND PULLED BACK LIKE THAT?
PARDON ME?
HA HA!
WE'RE GONNA FIX YOU UP. HA HA!
OH, GEORGE!
ALL RIGHT!
WHOO! YEAH! WHOO!
VERY IMPRESSIVE!
LOOKIN' FINE.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
THIS WAY. THIS WAY.
OH. WHOO. ALL RIGHT.
OH, GOD, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
YEAH! YEAH! IT DID.
CLASS IS OVER.
EVERYBODY'S GOING TO RAZOR BAY.
SHOULD WE LIVE DANGEROUSLY?
YOU BET!
WHOO!
I'LL SEND YOUR THINGS
TO THE HOTEL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN.
YOU ARE.
THANK YOU.
WILL YOU GIVE MY LOVE TO ANTONIO?
OF COURSE.
ADIOS, BEJA.
ADIOS.
- [SPEAKING SPANISH]
- [WHISTLES]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
BOTANICAL GARDENS, PLEASE.
SI, SENORITA.
SENORITA?
[LAUGHTER]
GEORGE, YOU WERE SO FUNNY.
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
[HORNS HONKING]
GEORGE?
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
[LAUGHTER]
OH, GEORGE. GEORGE.
OH, GEORGE!
[LAUGHS]
AND WHO CAN TELL ME WHY
THIS FLOWER IS SO SPECIAL?
- ME!
- YES?
IT'S CALLED CUPID'S DAR AND IT'S OUR NATIONAL FLOWER.
AND WHY IS I OUR NATIONAL FLOWER?
BECAUSE IT'S
THE FLOWER OF LOVE.
AND BECAUSE IT'S
THE FLOWER OF LOVE,
IT HAS MAGICAL POWERS.
AND WHO CAN TELL ME WHA THESE MAGICAL POWERS ARE?
ME!
MY MOTHER PUTS IT ON ME
WHEN I BRUISE MY KNEE.
VERY GOOD.
WHO WANTS TO SEE A LILY?
- ME!
- YES, ME, TOO.
OK, LET'S ALL GO SEE A LILY.
YOU KNOW WHERE THE THEATER IS.
GO RIGHT THROUGH THE THEATER
AND I'LL MEET YOU THERE, OK?
DON'T KEEP A SMILE.
WELL. JELL-O GIRL.
OH, DEAR. IF I DID OR SAID
ANYTHING LAST NIGHT, I'M SO SORRY.
IF YOU DID,
IT WAS AFTER I LEFT.
IT'S OK.
IT'S ONLY MANGO.
SO YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
WELL, I DON'T SET ANY BONES,
BUT I DO HAVE SOME ORCHIDS
ON LIFE SUPPORT.
- HA HA!
- I'M A BOTANIST.
OH. WELL, I HAVE
A WEE NURSERY BACK HOME, BU IT'S NOTHING LIKE THIS.
A WEE NURSERY, HUH?
LISTEN, I...GOT THIS
GROUP OF KIDS
THAT I-- I'M GONNA TAKE THEM
TO THIS WEE MOVIE,
AND AFTERWARDS I'M
GONNA HAVE SOME LUNCH.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME?
I'M PHILIP, AND YOU'RE...
I'M MAGGIE.
MAGGIE.
IRISH, HUH?
WELL, I'D LOVE YOU TO JOIN ME.
WELL, I WOULDN' WANT TO BE RUDE.
OH-- I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT.
WHOO!
HO-HO-HO-HO!
HEY! YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
WHOO!
WHOO! WHOO-HOO-HOO!
GO, GEORGE, WOW!
HA HA HA!
AAH!
OH, JEEZ.
AFTER RECEIVING MY PhD,
I SPENT 5 YEARS IN MAUI
AND THEN I WENT TO NEW YORK,
WHERE I WORKED A THE BOTANICAL GARDENS.
NEW YORK? SO WHY'D
YOU COME TO MANZANILLA?
I WAS BECOMING A WORKAHOLIC
IN NEW YORK
AND I-- I WASN'T SPENDING
ANY TIME WITH MY SON.
I MEAN, HERE IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
HE CAN SPEND THE WHOLE DAY
ON THE BEACH WITH HIS DOG.
- YOU HAVE A SON?
- YES. HE'S 12.
I'M DIVORCED.
ME, TOO.
WELL, I'M IN-- I'M IN THE PROCESS.
SO WE'VE BOTH
MADE SOME CHANGES.
DISFRUTA LA VIDA.
EAT FRUIT AND LIVE?
NO. NO, IT MEANS,
IT MEANS "ENJOYING LIFE,"
BUT I LIKE "EAT FRUI AND LIVE" BETTER.
[GLASSES CLINK]
MAGGIE.
UHH! MAGGIE. MAGGIE. MAGGIE.
[SIREN WAILING]
ANOTHER WINDSURFER.
THIS IS DELICIOUS.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAGGIE?
DO YOU SEE
ANY CHILDREN IN YOUR FUTURE?
HA! THANK YOU.
I HAVE A DAUGHTER-- BRIDGET--
SHE'S 19--
AND A SON-- KEVIN-- HE'S 18.
- GET OUT OF HERE.
- MM-HMM.
- YOU DO NOT.
- I DO.
I WAS MARRIED WHEN I WAS 18.
HA HA HA! WELL.
MAGGIE, YOU'RE FULL
OF SURPRISES.
GOOD ONES, I HOPE.
WELL, YEAH.
COULD YOU MEET ME TOMORROW
AT 6:00 AT THE GARDENIA?
I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU TO
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND
AND...YOU EVER SEEN
DOLPHINS DANCE?
[GIGGLES]
OOH!
UHH! HEY. WESTON.
ANY CANCELLATIONS YET?
OH, I REMEMBER YOU,
SENOR WESTON,
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THE ANSWER TO
YOUR QUERY IS NO.
HOWEVER, THIS DID
ARRIVE FOR YOU.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SEEM TO BE SUFFERING.
GOT EATEN BY A WAVE.
HAVE A DOUBLE SCOTCH
SENT TO MY ROOM.
CERTAINLY.
[GRUNTING]
GEORGE. GEORGE,
I WAS WORRIED SICK.
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
UH, OH, JUST A BACK SPASM,
YOU KNOW?
NO BROKEN BONES. RAZOR BAY.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
IT WAS FUN, WASN'T IT?
YEAH. IT LOOKS FANTASTIC.
SEE? YOU CAN'T KEEP A REAL MAN
FROM ADVENTURE.
OH, YOU THINK SO?
OW. OOH, OOH, OOH.
OH, BOY. OH.
LET'S GET YOU BACK TO YOUR ROOM, OK?
OH. YOU KNOW, I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DINNER
WITH ME TOMORROW NIGHT.
I MEAN, I SHOULD HAVE MOST OF
MY MOTOR SKILLS BACK BY THEN.
I'D LOVE TO.
WHY DON'T WE START WITH TAILS.
SAY, 6-ISH?
- GOOD.
- HA!
- OOH!
- OH, WE NEED TO PUT YOU TO BED.
[GEORGE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
YES, RIGHT THERE.
OH, CLOSER.
OH, THAT'S IT.
CLOSER. CLOSER. AAH!
THAT'S IT.
ONE MORE TIME.
YES! YES! YES! OHH.
- OHH.
- THERE YOU GO.
AS GOOD AS NEW.
- OH, THANKS.
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
OH, I JUST-- I GOT HI BY A TSUNAMI.
AH. YOU SEE?
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ACT 19.
YEAH.
OK.
BUY OUT ALL THE SHOPS?
ACTUALLY, I SPENT THE AFTERNOON
AT THE BOTANICAL GARDENS
AND I SAW THIS BEAUTIFUL
CUPID'S DART FLOWER.
- WHAT'S THIS?
- OH, THAT'S A FREE SAILING TRIP.
SO YOU SPENT THE AFTERNOON
WITH A PLANT, HUH?
CORAZON ISLAND. THAT'S WHERE THE
CUPID'S DARTS COME FROM.
SAYS HERE IT'S
A TROPICAL PARADISE
WHERE PEOPLE GO PICNICKING.
YEAH, WELL, IT ALSO SAYS
THE WEATHER'S VARIABLE
AND IT'S RINGED
BY DANGEROUS ROCKS.
OK. I'LL GO.
YOU CAN'T SAIL A BOAT.
I CAN GET SOMEONE
TO SAIL IT FOR ME.
I'M A SAILOR.
I SHOULD GET THAT TRIP.
GET YOUR OWN BOAT, GEORGE.
I'LL PAY FOR HALF.
DEAL.
YES, HELLO.
THIS IS GEORGE WESTON.
I'D LIKE TO RENT A SAILBOAT.
SENOR WESTON, YOU ALREADY HAVE
A VESSEL RESERVED IN YOUR NAME.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
DON'T ASK.
I'D LIKE TO RENT ANOTHER ONE.
IT'S THE LAST ONE.
ARE YOU SURE?
I SEE.
THANK YOU.
OH, FOR SAKE, GEORGE, IF I MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU, TAKE IT.
OH, HELL, MAGGIE.
WE'RE GROWNUPS.
WE CAN GO TOGETHER.
YOU CAN SEE YOUR FLOWERS
AND I'LL-- I'LL GET IN
SOME SAILING.
OH, I CAN'T STAY ALL DAY BECAUSE
I HAVE PLANS TOMORROW NIGHT.
ME, TOO.
OH. FINE.
[CLASSICAL GUITARS PLAYING]
UH...
OH...
MAGGIE?
OW! OW. AH! OOH.
OH...
[EXHALES]
OH...
AH... UH!
ALL RIGHT. OH! NNGH!
[SALSA MUSIC PLAYING]
WHOO! YEAH! OW!
UH! OH...
OW! AHH!
OOH!
OOH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AH.
AH
HA HA!
WHOA!
AH.
AH!
HA HA!
WHOA!
WHOA!
WHOA!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
YOO!
WHOO!
HOLA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE HARBOR MASTER, TOO?
'TIS ANOTHER MY CONSTITUENTS
HAVE SEEN FIT TO BESTOW UPON ME.
YEAH. WELL, TELL ME
ABOUT THE ROCKS.
NO PROBLEM IN DAYLIGHT.
AT NIGHT, NO ONE SAILS.
TOO DANGEROUS.
LET'S GO, GEORGE.
ANTONIO, DO YOU THINK WE'LL SEE MANY
CUPID'S DARTS THIS TIME OF YEAR?
BILLIONS.
LUIS WILL TOW YOU
OUT INTO THE CHANNEL.
OK. JUST HOLD ON TO THIS.
WHEN I TELL YOU, YOU PULL.
OK. OH.
THERE YOU GO. HA HA HA!
NO SWIMMING OFF THE BOAT!
SHARKS!
- SHARKS?
- SHARKS!
- SHARKS?
- YEAH. VAYA CON DIOS.
ROSA, WE HAVE DONE OUR WORK.
NOW IT IS UP TO WISE
MOTHER NATURE.
- IT'S GREAT, HUH?
- HA HA!
AAH!
HA HA!
HA HA HA!
MAGGIE, THERE'S CORAZON ISLAND.
OK. PREPARE TO COME ABOUT.
COME WHERE?
YOU'RE GONNA COME ABOUT.
OH, MY GOD, IS THAT A SHARK?
WHERE? OW!
AAH!
SHARK? WAAH!
GRAB THAT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
UH!
GREAT.
NOW WHAT? AGH.
OH, BOY.
GEORGE...
GEORGE, LISTEN TO THIS.
YOU CAN HEAR THE OCEAN.
MAGGIE, I DON'T NEED
TO HEAR IT.
I CAN SEE IT,
AND THERE'S MILES OF I BETWEEN US AND CIVILIZATION.
OH, COME ON.
WE'RE NOT EXACTLY
THE SWISS FAMILY WESTON.
THEY KNOW WE'RE HERE,
AND THEY'LL COME AND FIND US.
WHO KNOWS HOW SOON
THEY'LL REALIZE WE'RE MISSING?
WE NEED TO THINK SURVIVAL.
I'M THINKING ABOUT LUNCH.
I'M STARVING.
NOW LET'S SEE.
WE'VE GOT ROPE.
WE GOT A LITTLE FOOD.
WE GOT THE CLOTHES ON OUR BACK.
WE GOT A PONCHO, FIRST AID KIT,
WATERPROOF MATCHES,
AND A KNIFE AND MY WATCH.
WE DIDN'T HAVE THIS MUCH STUFF
WHEN WE SET UP HOUSEKEEPING
20 YEARS AGO.
HOUSEKEEPING.
NOW YOU'RE THINKING.
WE NEED SHELTER,
AND THE BEST PLACE
FOR A CAMP...
IS ON HIGH GROUND.
SO I SAY WE GRAB
ALL OF THIS STUFF
AND THEN WE GO CLIMB UP THERE.
I'D HATE TO LEAVE
THIS LOVELY BEACH, GEORGE.
MAGGIE, THIS LOVELY BEACH
IS GONNA BE UNDERWATER
WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN.
NOW, YOU GONNA COME
WITH ME, OR NOT?
OH, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?
OH, MUST'VE BANGED I ON THAT ROCK.
MAGGIE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I'M GOING TO GE A CUPID'S DART FOR THAT BRUISE.
NO. NO, NO, MAGGIE.
NOW IS NOT THE TIME
TO GO PICK FLOWERS.
GET SOME FIREWOOD
AND MEET ME UP THERE
BEFORE THE TIDE COMES--
SHE'S NOT LISTENING TO ME.
GAAH! OH, GOD.
GET BACK. GET BACK. OH! GET.
[OINKING]
GEORGE! GEORGE!
GEORGE, LOOK.
I FOUND SOME CUPID'S DARTS.
OH, GREAT, GREAT.
WE NEED WOOD, WE GET FLOWERS.
THESE FLOWERS ARE MEDICINAL,
AND I FOUND SOME FRESH WATER.
WITH SOMETHING TO PUT IT IN,
I COULD MAKE TEA.
MAGGIE, I'M NOT DRINKING
SOME TEA MADE WITH WILD FLOWERS.
WHY NOT?
THE NATIVES DID IT ALL THE TIME.
THE NATIVES ARE EXTINCT.
WHAT DO YOU WAN FROM ME, GEORGE?
I WANT YOU TO STOP PLAYING
ISLAND PRINCESS AND GET REAL.
I MEAN, GO FIND SOME REAL WOOD,
SOME REAL COCONUTS
BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE REALLY,
REALLY DARK REAL SOON.
I SAW A REAL PIG.
OH. WHAT?
I SAW A PIG.
A WILD PIG? A BOAR?
THEY'RE FEROCIOUS.
IT DIDN'T LOOK FEROCIOUS.
MAGGIE, DO NOT GO BACK
TO THAT AREA
BECAUSE A WILD BOAR
CAN KILL YOU.
GEORGE...
DO YOU THINK ANYONE
MISSES US YET?
JULIO, COMO ESTAS?
BIEN, BIEN.
HAS A WOMAN BEEN HERE
WAITING FOR ME?
- NO.
- YOU MEAN, BESIDES ME?
DON'T WORRY. SHE'S PROBABLY
JUST FIXING HER HAIR.
[BUZZING]
SHOO! OH, IT GOT ME. OH...
OH, HEY, HEY, NO.
THAT COULD BE POISON.
YEAH, BUT IT COULD HELP.
THIS IS JUST A HELL OF
A COCKTAIL HOUR WE'RE HAVING.
- OH, DEAR.
- WHAT?
I HAD PLANS.
OH. SO DID I.
[BUZZING]
OW! DAMN.
HERE. TRY THIS.
WELL, WHAT IF I'M ALLERGIC?
THEN YOU'LL DIE, AND I'LL HAVE
THE RESCUE BOAT ALL TO MESELF.
GO ON.
- I MARRIED A WITCH.
THAT FEELS REALLY GOOD.
HUH?
YOU WERE RIGHT.
THANKS FOR MAKING THE FIRE.
OH, IT WASN'T MUCH.
YES, IT IS.
WESTON, GEORGE WESTON.
HONEYMOON SUITE?
ARE YOU SURE?
I SEE.
UH, THANK YOU.
MY DATE WENT SAILING
THIS MORNING WITH HIS WIFE.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
- YOUR TURN.
- MY TURN.
HI. IT'S DR. LUCIER.
I'M LOOKING FOR A GUEST.
I DON'T KNOW THE LAST NAME.
FIRST NAME IS MAGGIE.
SHE'S FROM SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.
YES. I'LL--
YES. THAT'S RIGHT.
WESTON?
THANK YOU.
OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY.
[GULLS SQUAWKING]
GEORGE?
GEORGE, WAKE UP. GEORGE.
WHAT?
YOU KNOW, I READ SOMEWHERE
THAT IF THE MALE OF THE SPECIES
MARKS HIS TERRITORY,
OTHER ANIMALS WOULD STAY AWAY.
MAGGIE, I AM NOT GONNA
MARK THE TERRITORY.
- WHY NOT? NO ONE IS LOOKING.
- LEAVE ME ALONE, MAGGIE.
YOU WANT TO MARK THE TERRITORY,
YOU MARK THE TERRITORY.
GEORGE, DON'T BE SUCH A PRUDE.
I REFUSE TO ARGUE WITH YOU
JUST TO KEEP YOU COMPANY.
FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S COLD.
- I'M LEAVING YOU ALONE.
- OH, COME ON, MAGGIE.
- OH, YOU MAKE ME CRAZY.
- LOOK. BE REASONABLE.
YOU WON'T LISTEN
TO OUR THERAPIST.
YOU WON'T MARK TERRITORY.
A PONCHO IS NOT GONNA
KEEP YOU WARM.
BODY HEAT WILL KEEP YOU WARM.
TWO BODIES ARE BETTER THAN ONE.
NOW COME ON.
GEORGE, WE ARE
GETTING DIVORCED.
WELL, THAT MAKES THE PONCHO
COMMUNITY PROPERTY.
WOULD YOU STOP YELLING AT ME?
I WILL YELL AT YOU
IF I WANT TO.
YOU ARE ACTING
LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD.
GIVE ME THE DAMN PONCHO
AND SLEEP WITH ME.
[OINKING AND SQUEALING]
- OH! OH, OH, OH!
- AAH! COME ON, MAGGIE.
RUN, RUN, RUN!
- GEORGE!
WAIT! OHH! OH!
UH! AH! OOH! OH!
AAH! OH! OH! UH!
UH! GEORGE...UH!
- OH, GREAT.
- I'M ALL RIGHT.
D-D-DON'T TALK TO ME.
MAGGIE, DON'T SAY A WORD.
GEORGE, DID YOU BANG YOUR HEAD
ON THAT PALM TREE?
YOU KNOW IF YOU BANGED
YOUR HEAD,
YOU BETTER NOT GO TO SLEEP NOW.
DON'T GOT TO SLEEP, GEORGE, OK?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
MAGGIE, I DID NOT HIT MY HEAD.
I DO NOT HAVE A CONCUSSION.
I'M FINE. I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO GO TO SLEEP.
WHAT, HERE ON THE BEACH?
YES, YES, RIGHT HERE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
RIGHT HERE. GOOD NIGHT.
AHH...
[GAGS]
OH...
OH! OW.
THANKS FOR WAKING ME UP.
AFTER LAST NIGHT, I THOUGH YOU COULD USE A SLEEP-IN.
YEAH. I'LL BET.
BANANAS FOR BREAKFAST.
I HAVE A COCONUT, TOO.
I DON'T SEE ANY BOATS
COMING OUR WAY.
SURE THERE'LL BE
SOMEONE HERE SOON.
I'M GONNA TRY
AND CATCH SOME FISH.
WE CAN'T JUST EAT FRUIT.
OK. WELL, I'LL TRY
AND RIG UP SOME KIND OF A GRILL.
GOOD, GOOD. SEE YOU LATER.
AND THAT FISH ALMOST PULLED ME
INTO THE WATER.
WELL, YOU SAW THE ROPE BURN.
I WISH WE HAD A CAMERA.
THAT'S THE BIGGEST FISH
I'VE EVER SEEN.
I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
ME, TOO.
HOW MUCH LONGER, DO YOU THINK?
OH, A WHILE.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE
I SHOULD'VE BAKED HIM
LUAU STYLE WITH STONES.
THAT'S NO WHAT I MEANT, GEORGE.
AH. OH. HA HA!
DO YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A SWIM?
NO, NO. YOU GO. YOU GO.
I BETTER KEEP TURNING HIM
SO HE DOESN'T BURN,
BUT WHEN YOU GET BACK,
HE'LL BE PERFECT.
[DIALING]
AH, I'M BEATING YOU, ROSA.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
EXCUSE ME. YES?
ARE YOU SURE, RAMON?
CAMPING BY THE CAVE. OK.
TOMORROW. YEAH. MANANA.
GRACIAS, RAMON.
WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, HUH?
THEY ARE SAFE. NO HARM.
I WILL SAVE THEM TOMORROW.
MY CARD.
AAH!
[OINKING]
[OINKING]
MAGGIE, MAGGIE, OVER HERE.
OH, GEORGE, GEORGE,
THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME HERE.
OH, YEAH? WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, THEN?
BECAUSE YOU NEVER
LISTEN TO ME.
I HAVE A ROCK.
NO, NO, NO.
IT TAKES 8 CAVEMEN
TO FELL A WILD BOAR.
WE JUST NEED TO FIND
HIS WEAK SPOT, GEORGE.
THERE IS NO WEAK SPO ON THIS THING.
WELL, WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO, THEN?
I'LL DISTRACT IT.
YOU RUN FOR IT.
GEORGE, IT'S SITTING
ON MY CLOTHES.
HA HA HA!
SMART PIG.
SO YOU DON'T FLASH THE PIG.
ON 3. 1, 2, 3.
PIG! PIG, PIG, PIG!
HEY, PIG! HEY, PIG!
OOH, OOH, LOOK, LOOK.
HEY, PIG! HEY!
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
[SQUEALS]
RUN. GO. GO.
[SQUEALING]
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! AAH!
OH, NO! SHOO! GET AWAY!
GO BACK. BACK, PIG.
GO AWAY. BAD PIG.
GO ON. GET.
JUST GET OUT OF HERE, PIG.
OH!
[SQUEALING]
YES.
WHOO! HA HA HA!
NOT BAD, HUH?
WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
I ALMOST HAD HIM,
AND HE COULD'VE HURT YOU.
YOU DON'T LISTEN.
YOU JUST NEVER LISTEN, DO YOU?
I HAD A PLAN.
- BUENOS DIAS, DR. LUCIER.
- BUENOS DIAS, ANTONIO.
I'M HERE TO REPOR A MISSING PERSON.
SHE'S AN AMERICAN.
HER NAME IS MAGGIE WESTON.
SHE DIDN'T RETURN
TO HER HOTEL LAST NIGHT.
SHE IS NOT MISSING.
SHE AND MR. WESTON WENT SAILING
TO CORAZON ISLAND.
THEY ARE PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED
ON THE ISLAND.
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH. PLEASE SIT.
HAVE YOU HAD BREAKFAST?
[PLATES CLATTER]
WE'RE DEVASTATED THA YOU'RE CUTTING YOUR STAY
WITH US SHORT, MS. HAMILTON.
MY CAT IS IN RENAL FAILURE.
YOU DON'T HAVE A MEDICAL REFUND
POLICY, BY ANY CHANCE?
GLORIA, I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW
THE WESTONS WILL BE BACK
THIS AFTERNOON.
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
- THEY F--
THEY FILED FOR DIVORCE
TWO DAYS AGO.
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE
TO CALL MY VET?
ABSOLUTELY.
THAT WAS SOME SHOT YOU MADE.
DO YOU THINK SO?
OH, YOU CONQUERED A WILD BOAR.
SUPPOSE I DID, DIDN'T I?
I'M SORRY IF I SPOILED
YOUR PLAN WITH THE PIG.
OH, I'M SORRY I WAS SO SILLY
TO GET ANGRY.
MAGGIE, WHAT HAPPENED TO US?
WE DIDN'T TAKE UP THE TANGO.
I THINK WE JUST STOPPED TALKING.
MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WE STOPPED LISTENING.
WE BURIED OURSELVES IN OUR WORK
SAVING FOR THA IMAGINARY RAINY DAY.
RAINY DAYS AREN'T IMAGINARY
TO ME, MAGGIE.
AT THE BANK, I SEE IT RAIN
ON PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
WE'RE NOT THOSE PEOPLE,
GEORGE.
[SIGHS]
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S A LITTLE AFTER 4:00.
HUH.
HEH.
WE'RE DIVORCED.
DIVORCED.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW WE ENDED UP HERE, GEORGE.
I MEAN, WE HAD SOMETHING,
DIDN'T WE?
TELL ME WE HAD SOMETHING.
WELL, OF COURSE WE DID.
YOU WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
I'D EVER ME AND THE MOST DIFFICULT.
YOU DROVE ME CRAZY.
PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON' GROW A GOATEE.
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
MEN WHO GET DIVORCES
GROW GOATEES,
AND THEY BUY SPORTS CARS.
HA HA! I PROMISE...
AS LONG AS YOU PROMISE ME
SOMETHING.
WHAT?
THAT'S YOU'LL NEVER REMARRY.
YOU WON'T EVEN DATE ANOTHER MAN.
WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT BEING FAIR?
THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
YOU DON'T GET TO FEEL THAT WAY
ANYMORE, GEORGE.
YOU WANTED A DIVORCE,
AND YOU'RE GETTING ONE.
YOU KNOW, I'M NO THE WIDE-EYED 18-YEAR-OLD
THAT YOU MARRIED 20 YEARS AGO.
I AM THE MOTHER
OF YOUR CHILDREN.
I RUN A BUSINESS, AND I'M SORRY
IF I'M NOT THERE FOR YOU
LIKE I USED TO BE, BUT YOU'RE
NOT THERE FOR ME, EITHER.
I CHANGED. PEOPLE CHANGE.
THAT'S LIFE. THEY GROW.
YOU HAVE TO GROW, TOO, GEORGE.
STOP BEING SO AFRAID.
SPEND YOUR MONEY. HAVE SOME FUN.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
YOU DESERVE A REWARD,
BUT SO DO I.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY IF I GREW UP
AND RUINED EVERYTHING.
I'M SORRY IF I'M A WOMAN
AND NOT A GIRL ANYMORE,
BUT IF YOU CAN'T LOVE ME
FOR WHO I AM,
THEN AT LEAST WISH ME WELL
AND SHOW ME SOME RESPEC FOR THE YEARS THAT I LOVED YOU.
I LOVED YOU.
AH, ROSA, ROSA, ROSA,
THERE IS NOTHING
LIKE A CLEAR DAY
ON MANZANILLA BAY.
ROSA, DO NOT LOOK AT ME
LIKE A SPANISH INQUISITOR.
THE WESTONS NEEDED
MY EXPERT INTERVENTION.
I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE I WHEN I PLAY CUPID,
BUT WHEN I MEET A COUPLE THA NEEDS HELP LIKE THE WESTONS--
BESIDES, I DON'T DO I VERY OFTEN.
I DON'T. BE FAIR NOW.
ONE ON EVER DIED
ON CORAZON ISLAND.
OK. ONE MAN...IN 1962,
BUT HE DIED
WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE,
YOU MUST REMEMBER.
MM, GEORGE...
GEORGE...
GEORGE? GEORGE?
OH! HUH.
LOVELY DAY FOR A RESCUE,
EH, RAMON?
MM-HMM. WELL--
GEORGE?
GEORGE?
GEORGE?
HELLO! HELLO, HELLO, HELLO!
ANTONIO, ANTONIO.
- MRS. WESTON.
MRS. WESTON, AH,
I'M DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU.
HAVE YOU SEEN GEORGE?
- HE'S NOT WITH YOU?
- NO.
MR. WESTON IS MISSING. GO.
I WILL STAY WITH THE LADIES.
OK.
DON'T WORRY. I HAVE NEVER
MISPLACED A TOURIST.
ROSA, HORCHATA PARA LA SENORA.
WE WERE SLEEPING IN THE CAVE,
AND WHEN I WOKE UP, HE WAS GONE.
- SHOW ME, PLEASE.
- YEAH.
IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING,
WAS THERE A QUARREL?
NO. WELL, YES, BUT--
YOU ARGUED, PERHAPS?
PLEASE, JUST FIND HIM.
HE MIGHT BE HURT.
DON'T WORRY. WE WILL
PRAY TO SAINT JUDE FOR HIM.
GEORGE IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.
I CAN'T JUST LEAVE.
RAMON IS CALLING
THE HELICOPTER.
THEY WILL SEARCH INTO THE NIGHT.
WE MUST LEAVE
BEFORE IT GETS DARK.
ONLY IF YOU PROMISE ME
YOU'LL FIND HIM.
OF COURSE.
I PROMISE, BUT NOW PLEASE--
WHERE ON EARTH COULD HE BE?
[OINKING]
NO, PIG! NO! NOT AGAIN.
GET BACK. BACK, BACK, BACK.
GO AWAY. AAH! OH! MAGGIE!
WHOA! GO. GO.
HELP! UH UH UH! OH, MY GOD.
OH, GOD. OH...
MAGGIE! MAGGIE!
OOH! MAGGIE!
OH! OUCH! MAGGIE!
SO YOU'RE NOT SURE
HOW HE FEELS,
BUT YOU WANT TO GIVE I A CHANCE.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET A DIVORCE,
AND YOU'RE ON THE PLANE
TOMORROW.
YES. I THINK SO.
I DON'T EXPECT YOU
TO UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE IN LOVE
WITH YOUR HUSBAND.
IT HAPPENS.
YOU HAVE SOUL, PHILLIP.
I THINK THAT'S WHAT ATTRACTED ME
TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
NOT MY SMILE?
WELL, THE SMILE
GOES WITHOUT SAYING,
AND I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE THIS
THE WRONG WAY,
BUT, YOU KNOW, THE FACT THAT YOU
WERE ATTRACTED TO ME,
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
HOW IMPORTANT THAT WAS.
MAGGIE, HOW COULD ANYBODY
NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU?
DISFRUTA LA VIDA.
I'LL HAVE
ANOTHER COCO LOCO, PLEASE.
[CHUCKLES]
SO TELL ME, GEORGE,
WHEN WAS THE MOMENT YOU SAID,
"HEY, THERE'S AN ELEPHANT IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM.
WE NEED A DIVORCE"?
GLORIA, I'M AN IDIOT.
- OH, I THINK YOU'RE GREAT.
- OH, THANKS.
THAT MEANS A LOT BECAUSE I HAD
MORE FUN WITH YOU THE OTHER DAY
THAN I HAVE HAD IN YEARS,
AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
- THAT'S A PROBLEM?
- YES.
YOU SEE, I NEED TO HAVE FUN
WITH MY WIFE--
MY EX-WIFE OR WHATEVER--
I MEAN, IF SHE'LL LET ME.
TELL ME THIS IS MAKING SENSE.
UH...IN A WAY.
GLORIA, YOU ARE
AN EXTRAORDINARY WOMAN,
AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH
YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE.
GET A MASSAGE EVERY DAY
AND NEVER STOP WINDSURFING.
20 BUCK TIP? GENEROUS GUY.
WHAT DO YOU EXPEC FROM A BANKER?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HA HA HA!
HELLO? HELLO?
OH, YES. OH. HEE HEE HEE!
THANK YOU, ANTONIO.
OH, SAY HELLO FOR ME. OW.
GEORGE, WE'RE GONNA
MISS OUR PLANE.
ANTONIO IS SENDING A CAR FOR US.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
HA HA HA!
I DON'T FEEL DIVORCED...
NEITHER DO I.
AND I DON'T FEEL MARRIED,
EITHER.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
BETTER.
ME, TOO.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. BYE.
I TIPPED THEM $4.00,
$2.00 EACH.
IT'S GREAT.
IT'S NOT TOO MUCH?
PERFECT.
MAGGIE, WE CAN'T BE DIVORCED.
HOW ARE WE GONNA
TELL THE KIDS?
MAGGIE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
ANTONIO, WOULD YOU
MARRY US, PLEASE?
I WOULD BE HONORED,
BUT IT'S NOT NECESSARY
BECAUSE I DID NOT FILE
THE DIVORCE PAPERS.
MY DEAR MR. AND MRS. WESTON,
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND.
SO MANY COUPLES COME
TO MANZANILLA EACH YEAR,
BUT WHEN I SAW YOU,
SOME VALENTINO SPOKE TO ME,
AND HE SAID, "ANTONIO,
HERE ARE TWO PEOPLE
WHO DESPERATELY WAN TO FIX A LOVE THAT IS BROKEN."
WAS I WRONG TO LISTEN?
NO.
GEORGE, WE COULD RENEW OUR VOWS.
BUT THERE'S NO TIME.
THEY'RE BOARDING.
NO, NO, NO.
BOARDING AND LEAVING,
TWO VERY DIFFERENT PROCEDURES.
HEY!
[SNIFFING]
AND DO YOU, MAGGIE WESTON,
TAKE GEORGE WESTON
TO LOVE, HONOR, AND OBEY--
UH, "OBEY." NO.
WE DON'T GO THERE.
AMERICANS.
TO CHERISH FOREVER
IN SICKNESS AND HEALTH
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD AS LONG AS
YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
I DO.
NOW YOUR RING. YOUR RING.
WHERE'S YOUR RING, GEORGE?
WHERE IS IT?
UH...
GOOD BOY. GOOD BOY.
GOOD DOG. GOOD BOY.
THERE IT IS.
AH.
AH.
HA HA!
WITH THE POWER VESTED IN ME
AS CHIEF MAGISTRATE
OF MANZANILLA,
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE...
AGAIN.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH.
GEORGE? GEORGE!
WAKE UP. BRIDGET IS OUTSIDE
WITH DRAKE. DO SOMETHING.
- GEORGE!
- WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
GO DOWN THERE AND FIND OU WHY SHE'S HERE.
UHH.
HI, HONEY!
DADDY'LL BE RIGHT DOWN!
JUST TOSS HER THE KEYS.
NO. YOU BETTER GO DOWN THERE
AND LET HER IN,
AND DON'T LET HER COME UP HERE
UNTIL I FIX THINGS.
WHY DIDN'T SHE CALL?
YOU KNOW, SHE ALWAYS CALLS.
MAKE PANCAKES, GEORGE,
AND FIND OU WHY SHE DIDN'T CALL.
WELL, YOU WERE THE ONE
WHO SAID THE KIDS
HAVE TO KNOW SOMETIME.
MAGGIE, MAGGIE, THAT'S MY
PRESENTATION FOR MONDAY!
I KNOW THAT EVERYONE
HAS TO FIND OUT,
BUT I AM NO GOING TO TELL BRIDGE THAT WE ARE SEPARATING
IN FRONT OF HER BOYFRIEND.
SHE'D NEVER FORGIVE US.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE
THOUGHT ABOUT THA BEFORE YOU KICKED ME
OUT OF THE BEDROOM.
I DIDN'T KICK YOU OUT.
WE DECIDED.
NO, YOU DECIDED.
I WAS THINKING.
OH, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
MAGGIE, MAGGIE, MAGGIE,
BEFORE COFFEE.
REMEMBER DR. BEEMAN'S
RULE NUMBER 5 EXPRESSLY STATES
NO FIGHTING BEFORE COFFEE.
I AM NOT FIGHTING.
I AM PACKING.
$1.50 A SHIRT, MAGGIE.
ONE DOLLAR AND 50 CENTS.
LIGHT STARCH, FRENCH CUFFS.
JEEZ.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. I SWEAR YOU WOULD
WAIT FOR CHANGE ON THE "TITANIC."
LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
YOU JUST CAN'T STAND IT,
CAN YOU?
YOU ARE RIGHT.
I CAN'T STAND THROWING AWAY GOOD MONEY.
YOU CAN'T STAND
THAT I SAID IT,
THAT I WAS THE ONE
WHO FINALLY BROKE DOWN
IN DR. BEEMAN'S OFFICE LAST WEEK
AND SAID I WANTED A SEPARATION.
HAPPY 20th ANNIVERSARY!
[SIGHS]
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY.
OUR 20th ANNIVERSARY.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- UH...OK, OK.
BLUEBERRY OR BANANA WALNUT?
BANANA WALNUT.
THEY TAKE LONGER!
YEAH. COMING!
COMING! HEY!
HI!
WHAT A SURPRISE.
ALL RIGHTY.
GOT SOME MORE. HUH?
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
YOU DON'T EAT LIKE THIS
AT SCHOOL, DO YOU?
NO.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
YOU LEFT THESE
IN KEVIN'S CLOSET.
BRIDGET AND DRAKE ARE
UNPACKING IN THE DEN.
THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING.
I KNOW THEY ARE.
WE HAVE GOT TO GET RID
OF ALL THESE PLANTS.
- WHY?
- BECAUSE IT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY.
WHERE THERE'S PLANTS,
THERE'S BUGS.
I HATE BUGS. EVERYONE KNOWS I HATE BUGS.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
MOM, CAN YOU GET IT?
YEAH, I'LL BE
RIGHT THERE, HONEY.
WHAT YOU HATE IS
MY PLANT BUSINESS.
OH, OH, I'M SORRY.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
GEE, I THOUGH I PAID FOR THE LEASE.
WITH OUR MONEY AFTER
I GUILTED YOU INTO IT.
DON'T FORGET DR. BEEMAN'S
RULE NUMBER 3, GEORGE--
ACKNOWLEDGE HONEST EFFORT.
YEAH, WHAT ABOUT RULE NUMBER 4?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- DON'T KEEP SCORE.
- I'M NOT KEEPING SCORE.
I'M MAKING A POINT.
- MOTHER.
- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
OH, DARLING, ARE YOU SURPRISED?
TELL ME YOU'RE SURPRISED.
HEY, SEAN.
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
- SEAN.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, BABY.
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE MY
SISTER MARRIED 20 YEARS!
THE NEW HOUSE
LOOKS WONDERFUL, MAGGIE.
GEORGE MUST BE DOING WELL.
OH, DID I NOT TELL YOU HE'S
VICE PRESIDENT AT THE BANK NOW?
MINOR DETAIL.
WELL DONE, GEORGE.
UH, PATRICIA, HOW LONG ARE YOU
GONNA BE STATESIDE?
TWO WEEKS HERE,
THEN IT'S BACK TO KILKENNY.
AH. WONDERFUL.
TWO WEEKS. UM...
WELL, YOU CAN STAY
IN BRIDGET'S ROOM.
I MEAN, SHE CAN STAY IN BRIDGET'S ROOM,
CAN'T SHE, MAGGIE?
YEAH, I THINK
IT LOOKS THE SAME.
ABSOLUTELY. IT'S CLEAN.
ARE YOU OK, MOM?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE PALE.
HEY! PARTY!
- KEVIN.
- HEY, DAD. HOW YOU DOING?
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
DO YOU HAVE 20 BUCKS FOR THE CAB?
[GIGGLING]
20 TURTLE DOVES, GEORGE.
ONE FOR EVERY YEAR
OF WEDDED BLISS.
THANK YOU, WILSON.
SO NICE OF YOU TO COME.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- HEY.
HEY, DAD.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY SON.
WELL, WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?
YOUR MOM'S IN THE LADIES ROOM.
BUMPY FLIGHT OUT OF DALLAS.
WILSON BETTINCOURT.
PRESIDENT, NEIGHBORHOOD SAVINGS.
OOH-HOO. THE BOSS.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
I ALWAYS KNEW THA GEORGE WAS DESTINED
FOR A CAREER IN BANKING.
- NOW, DAD.
- NEVER SPENT HIS ALLOWANCE.
ALWAYS KEPT HIS PENNIES IN A CAN
UNDER THE BED.
- THAT'S ENOUGH, DAD.
- NO, NO, NO, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
AND HE HAD ME TAKE THEM
TO THE BANK WHEN HE WAS 8
SO THAT HE COULD SEE IF THE GUARDS
HAD REAL BULLETS IN THEIR GUNS.
THANK YOU.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
AND TO MEET UNCLE SAM.
[LAUGHTER]
MOM.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
MARJORIE-- MY WIFE.
VERY GLAD TO KNOW YOU.
YOU GOTTA EA THAT MACARONI SALAD.
SHE CARRIED IT ON HER LAP
ALL THE WAY UP HERE.
MR. BETTINCOUR FROM THE BANK IS HERE.
HE BROUGHT A CAKE--
DOUBLE CHOCOLATE.
- WHERE DO YOU WANT THESE?
- THAT IS FINE.
- DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?
- PLEASE.
OH. DIDN'T YOU WEAR THIS
TO MY GRADUATION?
MM-HMM. AND IT STILL FITS.
THAT'S NOT THE POINT, MOM.
BUY SOMETHING BESIDES A PLANT.
- YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
- TELL YOUR FATHER.
YOU AND DAD AREN'T MAD
AT ME AND KEVIN
FOR HAVING A PARTY, ARE YOU?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
KEVIN THINKS YOU GUYS
ARE ACTING KINDA WEIRD.
WE'RE JUST TIRED,
LOVE, YOU KNOW?
YOUR FATHER HAD TWO
BUSINESS TRIPS THIS MONTH
AND THE NURSERY'S
RUNNING ME RAGGED.
I DON'T BELIEVE DAD
SLEEPS IN HERE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OF COURSE HE DOES.
WE BOTH DO.
ALL THE TIME.
HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME
HAVE A CACTUS INDOORS.
WHERE'S THE PHOTO ALBUM?
BEDSIDE TABLE.
UH, MOM?
DAD'S SOCKS ARE IN HERE.
- HA!
- [GIGGLES]
WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?
I THINK YOU FATHER'S
GETTING A WEE BIT DOTTY.
- OHH.
- HEY, MAGGIE.
- HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
- OH, YES. PUNCH.
HARD OR SOFT?
MAGGIE. YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW
NEEDS A SPONGE MOP.
SHE THINKS IT'S
STICKY OUT THERE.
YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS.
HARD.
YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
THANK YOU.
[KISS]
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, GEORGE.
I LOVE YOUR HOUSE.
YOU CAN FEEL ALL THE HAPPY
MEMORIES HERE.
OH, YES, YOU CAN, CAN'T YOU?
OH, UH, MAGGIE. KIDS.
THIS IS LOIS EVERLY.
SHE'S-- SHE'S NEW AT THE BANK.
LOIS. IS THAT THE LOIS
FROM ESCROW?
MAGGIE, CAN I JUST HAVE
A WORD WITH YOU? EXCUSE US.
UM, LOOK. LET ME JUST MAKE
ONE THING PERFECTLY CLEAR.
I DON'T LIKE THIS
ANY MORE THAN YOU DO, BUT--
[LAUGHTER]
WE'RE BOTH IN THIS TOGETHER,
SO YOU BEHAVE.
YOU SEEM HAPPY ENOUGH,
GEORGE, HUH?
CORAL IS NOT YOUR COLOR.
MAGGIE.
- WH--
- THINK, MAGGIE, THINK.
YOUR MOTHER IS HERE FOR
TWO WEEKS WITH YOUR BROTHER
AND MY MOTHER IS
IN HERE CLEANING.
HOW HAPPY CAN I BE?
IS THAT LOIS THE SAME LOIS
THAT YOU TOOK TO CHICAGO
FOR THAT LOAN CONFERENCE?
I DIDN'T TAKE HER.
THE BANK SENT HER.
SHE'S GOT AN MBA, OK?
YOU PUT YOUR SOCKS
IN THE BEDSIDE DRAWER
AND BRIDGET FOUND THEM.
WHAT'D YOU TELL HER?
I TOLD HER YOU WERE
GETTING SENILE,
AND KEVIN THINKS
WE'RE ACTING WEIRD.
WE ARE ACTING WEIRD.
WE'RE DRINKING IN A LAUNDRY ROOM.
I CAN'T STAND IT, GEORGE.
I WANT TO TELL EVERYBODY
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
- WHAT?
- THE FAMILY'S ALL HERE.
SO IS MY BOSS.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
AHEM. HI. MOM AND DAD,
JUST THOUGHT YOU'D KNOW THA THERE'S A CAKE ON THE PORCH
WHEN YOU GUYS ARE DONE.
GOT IT. OK.
NOBODY IS TELLING
ANYONE ANYTHING.
NOW, YOU WANTED TO WAI FOR THE RIGHT TIME.
TRUST ME, THIS ISN' THE RIGHT TIME.
[DOOR CLOSES]
SUNSHINE ON A STEM FOR
OUR FAVORITE NEW CLIEN FROM BAKER SEED COMPANY.
THAT'S LOVELY.
GEORGE BROUGHT ME ROSES ONCE.
THERE WAS A GIVEAWAY
AT THE CAR WASH
AND IT CAME WITH A FREE
CAN OF WAX.
NOW, NOW, HE MAY PINCH
A PENNY OR TWO,
BUT YOU TWO HAVE A LOT TO SHOW
FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS.
WHAT ABOUT THE NEXT 20 YEARS?
MOMMY, THERE'S SOMETHING
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU--
BUT THEY COULD BE
THE BEST YEARS OF ALL.
AFTER YOU GOT MARRIED
AND SEAN SETTLED IN BOSTON,
THAT'S WHEN YOUR FATHER AND I
TOOK UP THE TANGO.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
OH!
GEORGE WON'T EVEN
BRING ME A ROSE.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'LL
WEAR ONE BETWEEN HIS TEETH?
SHOWTIME.
SHE WAS JUST 18,
A YOUNG IRISH LASS
ALL ALONE IN AMERICA.
[LAUGHTER]
THE BEST AU PAIR THE THOMPSONS
EVER HAD.
THEY NEVER FORGAVE GEORGE WESTON FOR
TAKING HER AWAY. [CHURCH BELLS CHIMING]
KEVIN, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU MADE THIS.
THE YOUNG COUPLE HONEYMOONED
ON THE ROAD...
HA HA HA!
AND THEN SETTLED IN MARRIED
STUDENT HOUSING IN SEATTLE.
YOU SEE GEORGE SPARED
NO EXPENSE.
[LAUGHTER]
- THEY HAD A BALCONY.
THAT WAS A FIRE ESCAPE.
WELL, THEY COULD BARBECUE.
[LAUGHTER]
IT RAINED THE FIRST FEW MONTHS
WE WERE THERE.
[LAUGHS]
IT WAS LIKE AN OLD FRIEND
COME TO VISIT.
FELT LIKE I WAS
BACK IN IRELAND.
- OH, DARLING.
- A YEAR LATER, BRIDGET WESTON WAS BORN.
[THUNDER]
[BABY CRYING]
NOT WASTING ANY TIME,
KEVIN WESTON, HEIR TO THE THRONE,
ARRIVED 10 MONTHS LATER.
WHY AM I THE ALIEN
AND YOU GET FIREWORKS, KEVIN?
- IT'S HIS MOVIE.
- HA HA!
LIKE COLUMBIA RIVER SALMON,
THE WESTONS' LIFE WAS UPSTREAM,
BUT THEY NEVER
LET IT GET THEM DOWN.
GEORGE GOT A JOB AT THE BANK... [BELLS
RINGING] [CASH REGISTER BELL RINGS]
AND SOON THEY COULD AFFORD
MORE THAN A LUMP OF COAL
IN THEIR STOCKINGS AT CHRISTMAS.
- YAY!
- LOOK AT THAT.
GEORGE HAD A PAPER ROUTE
BY THE TIME HE WAS 9.
A MORNING AND EVENING ROUTE.
- PLEASE.
- YES.
THE YEARS WENT BY.
MAGGIE'S GARDEN GREW
AND SO DID GEORGE'S JOB
AT THE BANK.
HE BECAME A LOAN OFFICER.
MAGGIE SAW BRIDGET OFF
TO HER PROM.
AFTER THE KIDS GRADUATED
HIGH SCHOOL
AND WENT OFF TO COLLEGE,
MAGGIE OPENED A NURSERY
AND DAD BECAME A VICE PRESIDENT.
WHEN THE KIDS ARE AWAY,
THE PARENTS CAN PLAY.
THERE'S NO STOPPING
GEORGE AND MAGGIE WESTON,
TOGETHER FOR 20 YEARS,
LOOKING FORWARD TO 20 MORE.
MOM AND DAD, LONG MAY YOU WAVE.
HA HA HA!
[APPLAUSE]
- LIGHTS!
- WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!
MOM AND DAD, YOU'RE THE BEST.
YOU BOTH SACRIFICE
A LOT OVER THE YEARS
TO RAISE KEVIN AND ME,
AND WE WANT TO GIVE
YOU SOMETHING.
SO GRANDMA AND GRANDPA,
GRANNY AND SEAN,
WE ALL PITCHED IN
TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING
THAT IS LONG OVERDUE.
A SECOND HONEYMOON!
[ALL CHEERING]
5 DAYS ON THE SUNNY ISLAND
OF MANZANILLA,
ALL EXPENSES PAID
AND NON-REFUNDABLE, DAD.
MARGARITA NIGHTS
AND COCONUT DREAMS
ON DORADO BEACH.
BETTER START PACKING.
YOU LEAVE TOMORROW NIGHT ON THE RED-EYE.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CAN'T GO TOMORROW
BECAUSE I HAVE
A BOARD MEETING ON WEDNESDAY.
IT'S ALL
TAKEN CARE OF, GEORGE.
LOIS IS GONNA STAND IN FOR YOU.
UH, YEAH, BUT I HAVE NO ONE
TO COVER FOR ME AT THE NURSERY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
MOTHERS ARE FOR?
- OH, MOM.
- ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?
- YEAH.
- [LAUGHS]
WHOO-HOO!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
WE CAN'T JUST TELL EVERYBODY
THAT WE'RE SEPARATING
AND GET A REFUND.
BECAUSE IT'S NON-REFUNDABLE.
REMEMBER?
YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW,
WE COULD AFFORD
TO GO ANYWHERE WE WANT TO,
ANYTIME WE WANT TO,
BUT ALL YOU EVER DO IS WORK.
YEAH, WELL...
I'M NOT GONNA BE WORKING
THE NEXT 5 DAYS.
I'M GONNA BE WINDSURFING.
THESE KIDS THINK OF EVERYTHING.
THEY GOT ME WINDSURFING LESSONS
AND YOU SCUBA LESSONS.
IT'S JUST THAT A HONEYMOON
IS MEANT TO BE ROMANTIC.
DON'T START ON OUR
SEX LIFE, MAGGIE.
WHAT SEX LIFE, GEORGE?
WE DON'T HAVE A SEX LIFE.
THERE YOU GO.
LOOK, WAIT A MINUTE.
IF WE GO TO MANZANILLA,
NOBODY HAS TO KNOW WHAT WE DO
ONCE WE GET THERE, RIGHT?
WHY DON'T WE TAKE
SEPARATE VACATIONS?
I MEAN, YOU GO YOUR WAY
AND I'LL GO MY WAY.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO TOGETHER
IS GET ON THAT PLANE.
- SEPARATE VACATIONS?
- YEAH.
MIGHT WORK.
[CAR HORN HONKS] - ALL RIGHT.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
OK. UHH.
OHH. MAGGIE.
WHAT IS IN HERE? UHH.
[GRUNTING]
SEAN AND I ARE
WAITING IN THE CAR.
WE'LL BE RIGHT OUT, MOM.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S INCENSE.
BRIDGET GAVE IT TO ME.
NO, MAGGIE.
DON'T BRING THAT.
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA USE IT.
SEPARATE VACATIONS, GEORGE.
COMPRENDE?
COMPRENDE.
"SENOR NO ES MI ESPOSO.
HE IS NOT MY HUSBAND."
"LA CARNE ESTA DEMESAIDA ECHA.
THE MEAT IS OVERDONE."
THEY HAVEN'T COME UP
FOR AIR ONCE.
THEY DON'T NEED AIR, GEORGE.
THEY'RE YOUNG AND IN LOVE.
NEXT.
LET'S SEE. WESTON.
THE HONEYMOON PACKAGE.
ARE YOU GUYS NEWLYWEDS, TOO?
- NO, NOT REALLY.
- OH, OUR KIDS GAVE US A VACATION.
- A SECOND HONEYMOON?
- AWW.
THAT IS SO COOL.
BRAD LUCKINBILL.
THIS IS MY WIFE JENNIFER.
JENNIFER LUCKINBILL.
- MAGGIE WESTON.
- GEORGE. GLAD TO MEET YOU.
ARE YOU GUYS
GOING TO MANZANILLA?
- DORADO BEACH.
- OH, WE ARE, TOO!
CAN'T WAIT.
EXCUSE ME, MR. AND
MRS. WESTON, I'M SORRY,
BUT THE FLIGHT FROM SEATTLE TO
SAN JUAN IS COMPLETELY BOOKED.
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T SEA THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER.
BUT I'M SURE THAT ONCE YOU GE ON BOARD, YOU CAN SWITCH SEATS.
- DON'T WORRY. IT'S FINE, REALLY.
- NO PROBLEM.
THAT'S OK?
YOU'RE SO NICE.
OK, AND I'M SURE
THE AIRLINE CHARTER
SERVICING YOUR CONNECTION
TO MANZANILLA
WILL BE ABLE TO
SEAT YOU TOGETHER.
WE'LL KEEP OUR FINGERS
CROSSED. THANK YOU.
- MM.
- MRS. WESTON, IS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU NEED?
UH, YES, BUT I'M AFRAID
YOU CAN'T HELP ME.
NEXT.
HI. WE'RE GOING
TO MANZANILLA.
HELLO, SENOR.
WELCOME TO MANZANILLA.
WELCOME TO MANZANILLA.
WELCOME TO MANZANILLA.
MR. AND MRS. WESTON.
- YES.
- THIS WAY, PLEASE.
THIS WAY, PLEASE.
MAYBE THE KIDS GOT US A LIMO.
HA HA!
SENOR RIVERA, THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.
WE ARE NOT DRUG DEALERS.
WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS.
WE'RE ON OUR SECOND HONEYMOON.
MM. JASMINE. HA HA HA.
SOOTHING FOR THE NERVES, HUH?
EXCELLENT AFTER A STRESSFUL DAY.
INCENSE.
MY DAUGHTER GAVE IT TO ME
FOR THE TRIP.
BUT WE HAVE NO VIDA LOCA
IN MANZANILLA.
HERE EVERYONE IS, LIKE YOU SAY IN
YOUR COUNTRY, KEEPING IT REAL.
GET THE LUGGAGE.
MY APOLOGIES, MRS. WESTON, HUH?
PLEASE EXCUSE THE ZEAL
OF MY OFFICERS
AND THE NOSES OF MY DOGS.
NOW WE HAVE OUR FIRST STORY
TO TELL THE KIDS.
A GOOD OUTLOOK FOR A WISE MAN.
- THANK YOU, GENERAL.
- NO, PLEASE.
I'M BUT A LOWLY CIVIL SERVANT.
AND MRS. WESTON, MAY I SAY
OUR HUMBLE ISLAND
IS FORTUNATE TO HAVE
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
ADDED TO ITS GARDEN.
OH. YOU CERTAINLY MAY.
YEAH.
GEORGE! OH!
OH, LOOK AT MY NEW SLIP.
SOMEDAY THEY WILL TEACH A DOG
HOW TO INSPECT A LADY'S BAGS.
UNTIL THEN, ALLOW ME.
MY SISTERS WILL TAKE
[INDISTINCT]
CARTE BLANCHE, TO A POINT.
IT'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO.
THANK YOU.
OK, CAN WE LEAVE NOW?
OF COURSE.
MY MAN WILL TAKE YOU TO YOUR HOTEL.
SHOULD YOU NEED
ANY FURTHER ASSISTANCE,
AN HELICOPTER RIDE, PERHAPS,
HERE, HERE.
DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL, HUH?
THANK YOU.
CANNOT BELIEVE YOU LE THAT GUY KISS YOUR HAND.
IT'S THE CUSTOM.
IT WAS VERY SWEET.
AND FRANKLY, IT'S NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OH, OH, AND I SUPPOSE GETTING
BUSTED FOR DRUGS,
THAT WAS NONE OF
MY BUSINESS, TOO.
YOU KNOW, I DO THINK
THAT I TOLD YOU
NOT TO BRING THAT INCENSE.
OH, IT'S A CHARMING TOWN.
OH, YES, LOOK--
WEDDINGS AND DIVORCES.
FULL SERVICE DOWN HERE.
GRACIAS. SHOCK ABSORBERS
WOULD BE NICE.
OOH, THANK YOU.
OH, LOOK AT THIS LOVELY RESORT, GEORGE.
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW,
AS SOON AS WE GET THE ROOMS
SQUARED AWAY,
I'M GONNA GO STRAIGH TO THE BEACH.
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TELL
ME WHERE WE'RE GOING, MAGGIE,
BECAUSE WE'RE ON OUR
OWN NOW, REMEMBER?
I WAS JUST TRYING TO--
BE NICE.
[SQUAWK]
MM. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
BUT SENOR WESTON,
YOU HAVE OUR
MOST LUXURIOUSLY APPOINTED
HONEYMOON SUITE.
IT OVERLOOKS CORAZON ISLAND.
IT HAS ITS OWN JACUZZI.
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T NEED
A JACUZZI.
I NEED MY OWN ROOM.
I'M AFRAID WE'RE BOOKED SOLID
FOR THE NIGHT.
I CAN TRY TO MOVE YOU
IN THE MORNING,
IF I GET A CANCELLATION.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WE NEED TO HAVE SEPARATE ROOMS.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A SUITE.
IT COULD BE A SINGLE OVERLOOKING
THE CAR PARK. WE DON'T CARE.
BUT WE HAVE NOTHING, SENORA.
IF I MAY SUGGEST, I COULD HAVE A
ROLLAWAY BED SENT TO YOUR ROOM.
I'M SORRY. THAT'S THE BES I CAN DO RIGHT NOW.
FINE.
YOU GOT ANY CALYPSO DANCES
OR LIMBO CONTESTS
HERE AT THE HOTEL TONIGHT?
WELL, LET'S SEE.
RICKY MARTIN JUST CHECKED OUT,
JENNIFER LOPEZ IS ON VACATION,
AND CHRISTINA AGUILERA WON'T BE
HERE UNTIL NEXT WEEK.
BUT FOR YOU, WE DO HAVE KARAOKE
AT THE GARDENIA.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
GRACIAS, SENOR.
TWO DOLLARS.
HMM. SO?
WELL, I FIGURE SINCE WE'RE
TAKING SEPARATE VACATIONS,
WE SHOULD SPLIT EVERYTHING
50/50.
FINE.
"FOR THE HONEYMOONERS
WITH OUR COMPLIMENTS."
LOOK, THEY GAVE US
A LOT OF FREE GOODIES.
OH. I'LL TAKE THE CAVIAR.
PERFUME. OOH, CHAMPAGNE.
YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWEL,
THE SUNSCREEN, AND THE CHOCOLATES.
HOW SINFUL IS THE GUAVA GATEAU?
VERY.
WELL, I'LL HAVE ONE
OF THOSE, THEN, PLEASE.
MS. WESTON, I'M TONY.
YOUR SCUBA INSTRUCTOR.
HOLA, TONY.
PLEASE CALL ME MAGGIE.
OK, MAGGIE.
WHEN YOU'RE READY,
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT STAR WITH A LITTLE SNORKELING
TO GET YOU WARMED UP.
YOU CAN SCHEDULE A THE SPORTS DESK ANYTIME.
- HOW ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
- SURE.
SHALL I HAVE YOUR MEAL WAITING
FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK?
YES. WHY DON'T YOU
CHARGE IT TO THE ROOM
AND TAKE A NICE, BIG TIP
FOR YOURSELF?
THANK YOU.
LET'S GO.
YOUR FIRST LESSON.
EXCUSE ME. COULD I GE A BEACH TOWEL HERE?
SURE. HOW ABOU A DRINK, MR....
WESTON. GEORGE WESTON.
OH, A CLUB SODA.
YOUR WIFE HAS A FOOD ORDER IN.
SHALL I JUST ADD THE DRINK
AND BRING EVERYTHING OVER?
WHERE IS SHE?
SNORKELING.
AH, YEAH. THANKS.
- HI.
- HI.
OH, BRAD, LOOK.
IT'S MR. WESTON.
HEY! ISN'T THIS PLACE GREAT?
CARE FOR A CHOCOLATE?
- OH!
- NOT ME. GOTTA FIT INTO MY BIKINI.
GO ON, JENNY.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT CHOCOLATE.
MMM.
OK, BUT JUST ONE.
NO, NO, NO.
TAKE THEM ALL.
HEY! SHOOTERS LATER.
WHAT DO YOU SHAY?
- SHOOTERS.
- SHOOTERS.
RIGHT. HA HA!
CUTE COUPLE.
YEAH. YEAH, I GUESS.
GEORGE WESTON.
OH. GLORIA. LIKE THE SONG.
IT'S A PLEASURE.
HA HA HA!
THIS IS A GREAT BEACH.
MM. THEY BLEACH THE SAND.
REALLY?
IT MUST COST A FORTUNE.
BUT THIS PLACE
IS REALLY SOMETHING.
I MEAN, EVERYONE IS GOING AROUND
WITH A BIG SMILE ON THEIR FACE.
THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE EITHER
JUST MARRIED OR JUST DIVORCED.
OH, SO BIG BUSINESS
DOWN HERE, HUH?
MANZANILLA'S FAMOUS FOR IT.
HA HA HA!
OH. OHH.
WHOA. SOMETHING WRONG?
[WHIRRING]
AH! I SET IT ON VIBRATE.
IT'S MY MASSAGE.
THEY FIND YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE.
KIND OF LIKE THE IRS.
HA HA HA!
THAT'S FUNNY!
YOU'RE CLEVER.
- BANK HUMOR.
- A BANKER. WELL.
SMART AND FUNNY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO WATCH OUT.
BYE.
HERE YOU GO, MR. WESTON.
OH, THANKS.
- THERE YOU GO.
- ALL RIGHT.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
WAIT A MINUTE.
66.27 FOR A CLUB SODA
AND A SNACK? I DON'T THINK SO.
BUT YOUR WIFE SAID
TO CHARGE IT.
WHAT IS THAT?
GUAVA GATEAU.
MAGGIE IS OUT OF HER MIND.
MAGGIE!
MAGGIE.
MAGGIE. MAGGIE.
I JUST SIGNED A BILL FOR LUNCH.
$66.27.
ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK THE BANK
OUR FIRST DAY OUT?
I DIDN'T PAY FOR IT.
THE NURSERY'S A BUSINESS.
IT'S NOT A BLANK CHECK.
GEORGE, WE ARE ON VACATION.
SEPARATE VACATIONS.
SO SEPARATE.
WELL, I COULD, IF I WASN' GETTING BUSTED FOR DRUGS
AND HAVING TO SIGN
FOR YOUR GUAVA GATEAU.
EXCUSE ME, THE LADY IS
IN THE MIDDLE OF A LESSON.
BACK OFF.
SHE'S MY WIFE.
DON'T HIT HIM, PLEASE.
I'LL HAVE TO IDENTIFY THE BODY.
OH, I SEE.
SO IF WE WEREN'T MARRIED,
YOU'D LET THE GUY SLUG ME.
- IS THAT IT?
- TONY, WE'LL FINISH TOMORROW, OK?
- YEAH.
- YEAH...SEE YOU TOMORROW.
RULE NUMBER 9, GEORGE.
RESPECT PERSONAL SPACE.
RULE NUMBER 8-- COMMON GOALS.
IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY
OR MY MONEY, MAGGIE.
IT IS OUR MONEY.
AND I'M SORRY TO BE
A DOWNER AND SPOIL
YOUR CUDDLY SNORKEL OUT THERE,
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE
TO EAT BREAKFAST TOMORROW.
BREAKFAST IS INCLUDED, GEORGE.
OH, BE A CHILD.
RUN AWAY.
THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER HOTEL
ROOM ON THIS ISLAND SOMEWHERE.
WELL, YOU'RE MISS MONEYBAGS.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE?
PASS ME MY SWEATER, WILL YOU?
MY MOTHER GAVE YOU
THAT SWEATER.
THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME.
TIPS AND LUNCH.
YOU OWE ME ONE HALF OF $78.
PUT IT ON MY TAB.
THIS IS YOUR TAB, MAGGIE.
YOU CANNOT PUT A TAB ON A TAB.
SAYS WHO? TAXI!
OH, OH.
YOU'RE GONNA RUSH OFF IN THIS TAXI.
YOU GOT NO IDEA
WHERE THE HELL YOU ARE.
AND DRIVE AROUND ALL DAY
WITH THE METER RUNNING
LOOKING FOR A ROOM SOMEPLACE.
- IS THAT IT?
- DOWNTOWN, PLEASE.
DOWNTOWN? THERE IS NO
DOWNTOWN HERE, MAGGIE.
GEORGE, PEOPLE ARE STARING.
OK, OK, YOU WANT TO BE
BY YOURSELF, MAGGIE? HUH?
YOU WANT TO GO DOWNTOWN? OK. OK.
I THINK IT'S TIME WE TAKE OFF
THE TRAINING WHEELS, MAGGIE.
SEPARATION'S FOR SISSIES.
I MEAN, WE'RE IN THE QUICKIE
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
LET'S DO IT.
I WANT A DIVORCE.
ANDALE.
OH, MR. AND MRS. WESTON.
IT IS YOU WHO SEEK A DIVORCE?
YES, GENERAL.
PLEASE, I AM BU A LOWLY MAGISTRATE.
WHO THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE HERE
ON A SECOND HONEYMOON.
AND WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
A CUSTOMS OFFICIAL.
WELL, MANZANILLA
IS A SMALL ISLAND.
A MAN WHO'S A [INDISTINCT]
MUST WEAR MANY HATS.
PLEASE, SIT.
SO IT WAS NOT TRUE,
WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE
HERE TO CELEBRATE
20 WONDERFUL YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
EVERYTHING THAT WE TOLD YOU
WAS TRUE.
IT'S JUST THAT WE CAN' BE MARRIED ANYMORE.
AND THIS IS INDEED
A SERIOUS MATTER.
WHEN TWO PEOPLE
SUCH AS YOURSELVES
CHOOSE TO REND THE BONDS
THAT HAVE HELD THEM
TOGETHER FOR SO MANY YEARS,
IT US NOT SOMETHING
TO ENTER INTO LIGHTLY.
I ASSUME YOU HAVE
HAD COUNSELING.
A YEAR WITH DR. BEEMAN.
AH HA HA!
DR. BEEMAN.
HAVE YOU SPOKEN
WITH YOUR PRIEST?
ARE THESE QUESTIONS
ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY?
PERHAPS IT WOULD
BE WISE FOR YOU
TO DISCUSS YOUR FEELINGS
FOR AN HOUR OR SO
BEFORE TAKING THE BIG STEP.
ANTONIO RIVERA,
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR.
LOOK, GENERAL, OR YOUR HONOR,
OR WHATEVER,
THESE ARE OUR OWN
PRIVATE FEELINGS.
NOW, WE HAVE DECIDED
WE WANT A DIVORCE.
WELL, IN THAT CASE, I AM BOUND
BY THE LAWS OF MY COUNTRY
TO GIVE YOU ONE.
HERE WE ARE.
I MUST ASK FOR YOUR SIGNATURES
ON THESE FORMS
AND ONCE THEY'RE FILED,
YOUR DIVORCE WILL BE FINAL
IN 48 HOURS.
WE HEARD IT WAS ONE DAY.
WELL, ACCORDING TO THE DISCRETION
OF THE COURT, MR. WESTON.
YOU'RE IN MY COUNTRY FOR 5 DAYS.
I TRUST YOU WILL FIND
ENOUGH DIVERSION
TO MAKE YOUR WAI A PLEASANT ONE.
ON EVERY PAGE, POR FAVOR.
AHEM.
I ALSO OWN A FLEET OF SHIPS.
10% OFF FROM THE COURTHOUSE.
NO, THANKS.
I'LL TAKE A TAXI.
OH.
HAVE NO FEAR, MRS. WESTON.
MANZANILLA IS AN ISLAND OF LOVE.
FEW PEOPLE COME HERE
AND LEAVE UNAFFECTED.
THANK YOU.
SENOR RIVERA,
COULD YOU MAYBE
RECOMMEND A HOTEL
I COULD STAY IN TONIGHT?
OF COURSE.
LET'S SEE.
WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING IN TOWN
THAT COMPARE WITH DORADO BEACH,
BUT...LA COCHA.
BY ANY CHANCE,
DO YOU PLAY SNOOKER?
NO. LA CINTA SOL. NO.
TOO MANY SAILORS.
MRS. WESTON, AS YOUR SAFETY
IS MY PRIMARY CONCERN,
I MUST RECOMMEND THAT YOU RETURN
TO DORADO BEACH.
SHALL I CALL A CAR?
NO. THANK YOU.
NO, NO, NO, ROSA.
I WISH TO HANDLE THE WESTON
DIVORCE PERSONALLY.
GEORGE?
GEORGE?
- THANK YOU.
- DE NADA.
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MRS. WESTON! HI!
HI. REMEMBER ME?
WE MET AT THE AIRPORT.
- CALL ME MAGGIE.
- I'M BRAD.
YOU REMEMBER MY WIFE JENNY.
HI! WHERE'S MR. WESTON?
I DON'T KNOW.
UH, YOU WANT A SHOT?
- NO, THANK YOU.
- HOW ABOUT A COCO LOCO?
NO? UM, OOH!
OH, I KNOW
A JELL-O SHOT!
THEY'RE MANGO!
THEY'RE REALLY GOOD.
- MANGO?
- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OK, JELL-O SHOT, PLEASE.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.
TRUST ME.
[MUSIC STOPS]
[APPLAUSE]
- [SLURPS]
- [GIGGLES]
ISN'T IT GOOD?
IT-- IT'S DELICIOUS.
IT'S VERY NICE.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GIGGLES AND GASPS]
I LOVE THIS SONG.
[CHEERING]
- YEAH!
- LET'S GO!
[CHEERING]
- NO, I...
- [CHEERING]
YEAH! LALALALALA! YEA!
WHOO! YEAH! WHOO!
[CHEERING]
YEAH! WHOO!
RRRRRRRUFF!
[ALL CHEERING]
WHOO-OO-OO!
RRRRRRR...WHOO-HOO!
HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
RRUF!
HOO-HOO!
NO ES MI ESPOSO.
HA HA HA!
NO ES MI ESPOSO.
HEE HEE HEE!
MANGO! MANGO!
OH-OH! OH!
HA HA HA! OH.
[CHEERING]
[SIGHING]
MAY I HAVE A SHO OF JELL-O, PLEASE?
- SI, SENORA.
- EXCUSE ME.
YOU KNOW THERE'S VODKA
IN THAT DRINK?
MM-MM. IT'S MANGO.
IT'S PURE SUGAR
AND PURE ALCOHOL.
YOU LOOK VAGUELY FAMILIAR.
JULIO, CAFE, POR FAVOR.
IS THAT A LAVA LAMP?
NO, THIS IS A TEQUILA SUNRISE.
MM.
YOU SURE CAN SMILE.
AND SO CAN YOU.
OH, WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
HOW DID HE KNOW?
THANK YOU.
DE NADA.
MM. MUCHO CALIENTE.
YOU SPEAK SPANISH?
HERE. TRY THIS.
THANK YOU.
BETTER?
MM-HMM.
HASTA LUEGO.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
SEE YOU AROUND.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH. NO ROOM DOWNTOWN.
UHH. UHH.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU NEED ANYTHING?
OH. OOH.
HOW ABOUT SOME GINGER ALE
OR MAYBE A LITTLE JELL-O?
OH, LEAVE ME ALONE.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GO WINDSURFING.
I DON'T WANT TO MISS THE WAVES.
JUST GO.
GOD, COME ON.
UHH.
OK, GUYS, YOU HAVE TO BE
ABLE TO MOVE.
THAT MEANS KNEES BENT,
PELVIS UNDER,
ARMS LOOSE,
AND READY FOR ANYTHING.
COME ON.
LET'S DO IT.
YOU GO FIRST, GEORGE.
I DON'T THINK MY BODY
CAN DO THAT.
I BET IT CAN.
JUST GO AHEAD. GO!
- COME ON.
- GO, MAN.
- THAT'S IT.
- YEAH.
REMEMBER, PELVIS UNDER.
[GIGGLES]
FEEL THE DIFFERENCE?
YEAH.
YEAH, I BET HE DOES.
[LAUGHTER]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER IN SPANISH]
[BELL RINGS]
- QUE PUEDO AYUDAR?
- LOUISA?
MRS. WESTON?
AH, SI. YO SOY LOUISA.
ANTONIO'S SISTER.
HE SAID TO EXPECT YOU.
COME THIS WAY, PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
COME THIS WAY.
AH, LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT.
LET ME SEE.
LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
- [GROANING]
- WHAT'S WRONG, DEAR?
HANGOVER?
BEATRICE?
JUST A SECOND.
- SI.
- HANGOVER.
- SOPA DE POLLO?
- SI, POR FAVOR.
SOME CHICKEN SOUP WON'T HURT.
DON'T WORRY, DEAR.
WE'RE GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
A COUPLE OF NICE DRESSES
AND LOS ZAPATOS FABULOSOS
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE
GORGEOUS TIMES 10.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HAIR STRAIGH AND PULLED BACK LIKE THAT?
PARDON ME?
HA HA!
WE'RE GONNA FIX YOU UP. HA HA!
OH, GEORGE!
ALL RIGHT!
WHOO! YEAH! WHOO!
VERY IMPRESSIVE!
LOOKIN' FINE.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
THIS WAY. THIS WAY.
OH. WHOO. ALL RIGHT.
OH, GOD, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
YEAH! YEAH! IT DID.
CLASS IS OVER.
EVERYBODY'S GOING TO RAZOR BAY.
SHOULD WE LIVE DANGEROUSLY?
YOU BET!
WHOO!
I'LL SEND YOUR THINGS
TO THE HOTEL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN.
YOU ARE.
THANK YOU.
WILL YOU GIVE MY LOVE TO ANTONIO?
OF COURSE.
ADIOS, BEJA.
ADIOS.
- [SPEAKING SPANISH]
- [WHISTLES]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
BOTANICAL GARDENS, PLEASE.
SI, SENORITA.
SENORITA?
[LAUGHTER]
GEORGE, YOU WERE SO FUNNY.
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
[HORNS HONKING]
GEORGE?
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
[LAUGHTER]
OH, GEORGE. GEORGE.
OH, GEORGE!
[LAUGHS]
AND WHO CAN TELL ME WHY
THIS FLOWER IS SO SPECIAL?
- ME!
- YES?
IT'S CALLED CUPID'S DAR AND IT'S OUR NATIONAL FLOWER.
AND WHY IS I OUR NATIONAL FLOWER?
BECAUSE IT'S
THE FLOWER OF LOVE.
AND BECAUSE IT'S
THE FLOWER OF LOVE,
IT HAS MAGICAL POWERS.
AND WHO CAN TELL ME WHA THESE MAGICAL POWERS ARE?
ME!
MY MOTHER PUTS IT ON ME
WHEN I BRUISE MY KNEE.
VERY GOOD.
WHO WANTS TO SEE A LILY?
- ME!
- YES, ME, TOO.
OK, LET'S ALL GO SEE A LILY.
YOU KNOW WHERE THE THEATER IS.
GO RIGHT THROUGH THE THEATER
AND I'LL MEET YOU THERE, OK?
DON'T KEEP A SMILE.
WELL. JELL-O GIRL.
OH, DEAR. IF I DID OR SAID
ANYTHING LAST NIGHT, I'M SO SORRY.
IF YOU DID,
IT WAS AFTER I LEFT.
IT'S OK.
IT'S ONLY MANGO.
SO YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
WELL, I DON'T SET ANY BONES,
BUT I DO HAVE SOME ORCHIDS
ON LIFE SUPPORT.
- HA HA!
- I'M A BOTANIST.
OH. WELL, I HAVE
A WEE NURSERY BACK HOME, BU IT'S NOTHING LIKE THIS.
A WEE NURSERY, HUH?
LISTEN, I...GOT THIS
GROUP OF KIDS
THAT I-- I'M GONNA TAKE THEM
TO THIS WEE MOVIE,
AND AFTERWARDS I'M
GONNA HAVE SOME LUNCH.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME?
I'M PHILIP, AND YOU'RE...
I'M MAGGIE.
MAGGIE.
IRISH, HUH?
WELL, I'D LOVE YOU TO JOIN ME.
WELL, I WOULDN' WANT TO BE RUDE.
OH-- I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT.
WHOO!
HO-HO-HO-HO!
HEY! YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
WHOO!
WHOO! WHOO-HOO-HOO!
GO, GEORGE, WOW!
HA HA HA!
AAH!
OH, JEEZ.
AFTER RECEIVING MY PhD,
I SPENT 5 YEARS IN MAUI
AND THEN I WENT TO NEW YORK,
WHERE I WORKED A THE BOTANICAL GARDENS.
NEW YORK? SO WHY'D
YOU COME TO MANZANILLA?
I WAS BECOMING A WORKAHOLIC
IN NEW YORK
AND I-- I WASN'T SPENDING
ANY TIME WITH MY SON.
I MEAN, HERE IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
HE CAN SPEND THE WHOLE DAY
ON THE BEACH WITH HIS DOG.
- YOU HAVE A SON?
- YES. HE'S 12.
I'M DIVORCED.
ME, TOO.
WELL, I'M IN-- I'M IN THE PROCESS.
SO WE'VE BOTH
MADE SOME CHANGES.
DISFRUTA LA VIDA.
EAT FRUIT AND LIVE?
NO. NO, IT MEANS,
IT MEANS "ENJOYING LIFE,"
BUT I LIKE "EAT FRUI AND LIVE" BETTER.
[GLASSES CLINK]
MAGGIE.
UHH! MAGGIE. MAGGIE. MAGGIE.
[SIREN WAILING]
ANOTHER WINDSURFER.
THIS IS DELICIOUS.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAGGIE?
DO YOU SEE
ANY CHILDREN IN YOUR FUTURE?
HA! THANK YOU.
I HAVE A DAUGHTER-- BRIDGET--
SHE'S 19--
AND A SON-- KEVIN-- HE'S 18.
- GET OUT OF HERE.
- MM-HMM.
- YOU DO NOT.
- I DO.
I WAS MARRIED WHEN I WAS 18.
HA HA HA! WELL.
MAGGIE, YOU'RE FULL
OF SURPRISES.
GOOD ONES, I HOPE.
WELL, YEAH.
COULD YOU MEET ME TOMORROW
AT 6:00 AT THE GARDENIA?
I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU TO
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND
AND...YOU EVER SEEN
DOLPHINS DANCE?
[GIGGLES]
OOH!
UHH! HEY. WESTON.
ANY CANCELLATIONS YET?
OH, I REMEMBER YOU,
SENOR WESTON,
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THE ANSWER TO
YOUR QUERY IS NO.
HOWEVER, THIS DID
ARRIVE FOR YOU.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SEEM TO BE SUFFERING.
GOT EATEN BY A WAVE.
HAVE A DOUBLE SCOTCH
SENT TO MY ROOM.
CERTAINLY.
[GRUNTING]
GEORGE. GEORGE,
I WAS WORRIED SICK.
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
UH, OH, JUST A BACK SPASM,
YOU KNOW?
NO BROKEN BONES. RAZOR BAY.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
IT WAS FUN, WASN'T IT?
YEAH. IT LOOKS FANTASTIC.
SEE? YOU CAN'T KEEP A REAL MAN
FROM ADVENTURE.
OH, YOU THINK SO?
OW. OOH, OOH, OOH.
OH, BOY. OH.
LET'S GET YOU BACK TO YOUR ROOM, OK?
OH. YOU KNOW, I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DINNER
WITH ME TOMORROW NIGHT.
I MEAN, I SHOULD HAVE MOST OF
MY MOTOR SKILLS BACK BY THEN.
I'D LOVE TO.
WHY DON'T WE START WITH TAILS.
SAY, 6-ISH?
- GOOD.
- HA!
- OOH!
- OH, WE NEED TO PUT YOU TO BED.
[GEORGE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
YES, RIGHT THERE.
OH, CLOSER.
OH, THAT'S IT.
CLOSER. CLOSER. AAH!
THAT'S IT.
ONE MORE TIME.
YES! YES! YES! OHH.
- OHH.
- THERE YOU GO.
AS GOOD AS NEW.
- OH, THANKS.
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
OH, I JUST-- I GOT HI BY A TSUNAMI.
AH. YOU SEE?
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ACT 19.
YEAH.
OK.
BUY OUT ALL THE SHOPS?
ACTUALLY, I SPENT THE AFTERNOON
AT THE BOTANICAL GARDENS
AND I SAW THIS BEAUTIFUL
CUPID'S DART FLOWER.
- WHAT'S THIS?
- OH, THAT'S A FREE SAILING TRIP.
SO YOU SPENT THE AFTERNOON
WITH A PLANT, HUH?
CORAZON ISLAND. THAT'S WHERE THE
CUPID'S DARTS COME FROM.
SAYS HERE IT'S
A TROPICAL PARADISE
WHERE PEOPLE GO PICNICKING.
YEAH, WELL, IT ALSO SAYS
THE WEATHER'S VARIABLE
AND IT'S RINGED
BY DANGEROUS ROCKS.
OK. I'LL GO.
YOU CAN'T SAIL A BOAT.
I CAN GET SOMEONE
TO SAIL IT FOR ME.
I'M A SAILOR.
I SHOULD GET THAT TRIP.
GET YOUR OWN BOAT, GEORGE.
I'LL PAY FOR HALF.
DEAL.
YES, HELLO.
THIS IS GEORGE WESTON.
I'D LIKE TO RENT A SAILBOAT.
SENOR WESTON, YOU ALREADY HAVE
A VESSEL RESERVED IN YOUR NAME.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
DON'T ASK.
I'D LIKE TO RENT ANOTHER ONE.
IT'S THE LAST ONE.
ARE YOU SURE?
I SEE.
THANK YOU.
OH, FOR SAKE, GEORGE, IF I MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU, TAKE IT.
OH, HELL, MAGGIE.
WE'RE GROWNUPS.
WE CAN GO TOGETHER.
YOU CAN SEE YOUR FLOWERS
AND I'LL-- I'LL GET IN
SOME SAILING.
OH, I CAN'T STAY ALL DAY BECAUSE
I HAVE PLANS TOMORROW NIGHT.
ME, TOO.
OH. FINE.
[CLASSICAL GUITARS PLAYING]
UH...
OH...
MAGGIE?
OW! OW. AH! OOH.
OH...
[EXHALES]
OH...
AH... UH!
ALL RIGHT. OH! NNGH!
[SALSA MUSIC PLAYING]
WHOO! YEAH! OW!
UH! OH...
OW! AHH!
OOH!
OOH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AH.
AH
HA HA!
WHOA!
AH.
AH!
HA HA!
WHOA!
WHOA!
WHOA!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
YOO!
WHOO!
HOLA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE HARBOR MASTER, TOO?
'TIS ANOTHER MY CONSTITUENTS
HAVE SEEN FIT TO BESTOW UPON ME.
YEAH. WELL, TELL ME
ABOUT THE ROCKS.
NO PROBLEM IN DAYLIGHT.
AT NIGHT, NO ONE SAILS.
TOO DANGEROUS.
LET'S GO, GEORGE.
ANTONIO, DO YOU THINK WE'LL SEE MANY
CUPID'S DARTS THIS TIME OF YEAR?
BILLIONS.
LUIS WILL TOW YOU
OUT INTO THE CHANNEL.
OK. JUST HOLD ON TO THIS.
WHEN I TELL YOU, YOU PULL.
OK. OH.
THERE YOU GO. HA HA HA!
NO SWIMMING OFF THE BOAT!
SHARKS!
- SHARKS?
- SHARKS!
- SHARKS?
- YEAH. VAYA CON DIOS.
ROSA, WE HAVE DONE OUR WORK.
NOW IT IS UP TO WISE
MOTHER NATURE.
- IT'S GREAT, HUH?
- HA HA!
AAH!
HA HA!
HA HA HA!
MAGGIE, THERE'S CORAZON ISLAND.
OK. PREPARE TO COME ABOUT.
COME WHERE?
YOU'RE GONNA COME ABOUT.
OH, MY GOD, IS THAT A SHARK?
WHERE? OW!
AAH!
SHARK? WAAH!
GRAB THAT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
UH!
GREAT.
NOW WHAT? AGH.
OH, BOY.
GEORGE...
GEORGE, LISTEN TO THIS.
YOU CAN HEAR THE OCEAN.
MAGGIE, I DON'T NEED
TO HEAR IT.
I CAN SEE IT,
AND THERE'S MILES OF I BETWEEN US AND CIVILIZATION.
OH, COME ON.
WE'RE NOT EXACTLY
THE SWISS FAMILY WESTON.
THEY KNOW WE'RE HERE,
AND THEY'LL COME AND FIND US.
WHO KNOWS HOW SOON
THEY'LL REALIZE WE'RE MISSING?
WE NEED TO THINK SURVIVAL.
I'M THINKING ABOUT LUNCH.
I'M STARVING.
NOW LET'S SEE.
WE'VE GOT ROPE.
WE GOT A LITTLE FOOD.
WE GOT THE CLOTHES ON OUR BACK.
WE GOT A PONCHO, FIRST AID KIT,
WATERPROOF MATCHES,
AND A KNIFE AND MY WATCH.
WE DIDN'T HAVE THIS MUCH STUFF
WHEN WE SET UP HOUSEKEEPING
20 YEARS AGO.
HOUSEKEEPING.
NOW YOU'RE THINKING.
WE NEED SHELTER,
AND THE BEST PLACE
FOR A CAMP...
IS ON HIGH GROUND.
SO I SAY WE GRAB
ALL OF THIS STUFF
AND THEN WE GO CLIMB UP THERE.
I'D HATE TO LEAVE
THIS LOVELY BEACH, GEORGE.
MAGGIE, THIS LOVELY BEACH
IS GONNA BE UNDERWATER
WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN.
NOW, YOU GONNA COME
WITH ME, OR NOT?
OH, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?
OH, MUST'VE BANGED I ON THAT ROCK.
MAGGIE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I'M GOING TO GE A CUPID'S DART FOR THAT BRUISE.
NO. NO, NO, MAGGIE.
NOW IS NOT THE TIME
TO GO PICK FLOWERS.
GET SOME FIREWOOD
AND MEET ME UP THERE
BEFORE THE TIDE COMES--
SHE'S NOT LISTENING TO ME.
GAAH! OH, GOD.
GET BACK. GET BACK. OH! GET.
[OINKING]
GEORGE! GEORGE!
GEORGE, LOOK.
I FOUND SOME CUPID'S DARTS.
OH, GREAT, GREAT.
WE NEED WOOD, WE GET FLOWERS.
THESE FLOWERS ARE MEDICINAL,
AND I FOUND SOME FRESH WATER.
WITH SOMETHING TO PUT IT IN,
I COULD MAKE TEA.
MAGGIE, I'M NOT DRINKING
SOME TEA MADE WITH WILD FLOWERS.
WHY NOT?
THE NATIVES DID IT ALL THE TIME.
THE NATIVES ARE EXTINCT.
WHAT DO YOU WAN FROM ME, GEORGE?
I WANT YOU TO STOP PLAYING
ISLAND PRINCESS AND GET REAL.
I MEAN, GO FIND SOME REAL WOOD,
SOME REAL COCONUTS
BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE REALLY,
REALLY DARK REAL SOON.
I SAW A REAL PIG.
OH. WHAT?
I SAW A PIG.
A WILD PIG? A BOAR?
THEY'RE FEROCIOUS.
IT DIDN'T LOOK FEROCIOUS.
MAGGIE, DO NOT GO BACK
TO THAT AREA
BECAUSE A WILD BOAR
CAN KILL YOU.
GEORGE...
DO YOU THINK ANYONE
MISSES US YET?
JULIO, COMO ESTAS?
BIEN, BIEN.
HAS A WOMAN BEEN HERE
WAITING FOR ME?
- NO.
- YOU MEAN, BESIDES ME?
DON'T WORRY. SHE'S PROBABLY
JUST FIXING HER HAIR.
[BUZZING]
SHOO! OH, IT GOT ME. OH...
OH, HEY, HEY, NO.
THAT COULD BE POISON.
YEAH, BUT IT COULD HELP.
THIS IS JUST A HELL OF
A COCKTAIL HOUR WE'RE HAVING.
- OH, DEAR.
- WHAT?
I HAD PLANS.
OH. SO DID I.
[BUZZING]
OW! DAMN.
HERE. TRY THIS.
WELL, WHAT IF I'M ALLERGIC?
THEN YOU'LL DIE, AND I'LL HAVE
THE RESCUE BOAT ALL TO MESELF.
GO ON.
- I MARRIED A WITCH.
THAT FEELS REALLY GOOD.
HUH?
YOU WERE RIGHT.
THANKS FOR MAKING THE FIRE.
OH, IT WASN'T MUCH.
YES, IT IS.
WESTON, GEORGE WESTON.
HONEYMOON SUITE?
ARE YOU SURE?
I SEE.
UH, THANK YOU.
MY DATE WENT SAILING
THIS MORNING WITH HIS WIFE.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
- YOUR TURN.
- MY TURN.
HI. IT'S DR. LUCIER.
I'M LOOKING FOR A GUEST.
I DON'T KNOW THE LAST NAME.
FIRST NAME IS MAGGIE.
SHE'S FROM SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.
YES. I'LL--
YES. THAT'S RIGHT.
WESTON?
THANK YOU.
OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY.
[GULLS SQUAWKING]
GEORGE?
GEORGE, WAKE UP. GEORGE.
WHAT?
YOU KNOW, I READ SOMEWHERE
THAT IF THE MALE OF THE SPECIES
MARKS HIS TERRITORY,
OTHER ANIMALS WOULD STAY AWAY.
MAGGIE, I AM NOT GONNA
MARK THE TERRITORY.
- WHY NOT? NO ONE IS LOOKING.
- LEAVE ME ALONE, MAGGIE.
YOU WANT TO MARK THE TERRITORY,
YOU MARK THE TERRITORY.
GEORGE, DON'T BE SUCH A PRUDE.
I REFUSE TO ARGUE WITH YOU
JUST TO KEEP YOU COMPANY.
FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S COLD.
- I'M LEAVING YOU ALONE.
- OH, COME ON, MAGGIE.
- OH, YOU MAKE ME CRAZY.
- LOOK. BE REASONABLE.
YOU WON'T LISTEN
TO OUR THERAPIST.
YOU WON'T MARK TERRITORY.
A PONCHO IS NOT GONNA
KEEP YOU WARM.
BODY HEAT WILL KEEP YOU WARM.
TWO BODIES ARE BETTER THAN ONE.
NOW COME ON.
GEORGE, WE ARE
GETTING DIVORCED.
WELL, THAT MAKES THE PONCHO
COMMUNITY PROPERTY.
WOULD YOU STOP YELLING AT ME?
I WILL YELL AT YOU
IF I WANT TO.
YOU ARE ACTING
LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD.
GIVE ME THE DAMN PONCHO
AND SLEEP WITH ME.
[OINKING AND SQUEALING]
- OH! OH, OH, OH!
- AAH! COME ON, MAGGIE.
RUN, RUN, RUN!
- GEORGE!
WAIT! OHH! OH!
UH! AH! OOH! OH!
AAH! OH! OH! UH!
UH! GEORGE...UH!
- OH, GREAT.
- I'M ALL RIGHT.
D-D-DON'T TALK TO ME.
MAGGIE, DON'T SAY A WORD.
GEORGE, DID YOU BANG YOUR HEAD
ON THAT PALM TREE?
YOU KNOW IF YOU BANGED
YOUR HEAD,
YOU BETTER NOT GO TO SLEEP NOW.
DON'T GOT TO SLEEP, GEORGE, OK?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
MAGGIE, I DID NOT HIT MY HEAD.
I DO NOT HAVE A CONCUSSION.
I'M FINE. I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO GO TO SLEEP.
WHAT, HERE ON THE BEACH?
YES, YES, RIGHT HERE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
RIGHT HERE. GOOD NIGHT.
AHH...
[GAGS]
OH...
OH! OW.
THANKS FOR WAKING ME UP.
AFTER LAST NIGHT, I THOUGH YOU COULD USE A SLEEP-IN.
YEAH. I'LL BET.
BANANAS FOR BREAKFAST.
I HAVE A COCONUT, TOO.
I DON'T SEE ANY BOATS
COMING OUR WAY.
SURE THERE'LL BE
SOMEONE HERE SOON.
I'M GONNA TRY
AND CATCH SOME FISH.
WE CAN'T JUST EAT FRUIT.
OK. WELL, I'LL TRY
AND RIG UP SOME KIND OF A GRILL.
GOOD, GOOD. SEE YOU LATER.
AND THAT FISH ALMOST PULLED ME
INTO THE WATER.
WELL, YOU SAW THE ROPE BURN.
I WISH WE HAD A CAMERA.
THAT'S THE BIGGEST FISH
I'VE EVER SEEN.
I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
ME, TOO.
HOW MUCH LONGER, DO YOU THINK?
OH, A WHILE.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE
I SHOULD'VE BAKED HIM
LUAU STYLE WITH STONES.
THAT'S NO WHAT I MEANT, GEORGE.
AH. OH. HA HA!
DO YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A SWIM?
NO, NO. YOU GO. YOU GO.
I BETTER KEEP TURNING HIM
SO HE DOESN'T BURN,
BUT WHEN YOU GET BACK,
HE'LL BE PERFECT.
[DIALING]
AH, I'M BEATING YOU, ROSA.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
EXCUSE ME. YES?
ARE YOU SURE, RAMON?
CAMPING BY THE CAVE. OK.
TOMORROW. YEAH. MANANA.
GRACIAS, RAMON.
WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, HUH?
THEY ARE SAFE. NO HARM.
I WILL SAVE THEM TOMORROW.
MY CARD.
AAH!
[OINKING]
[OINKING]
MAGGIE, MAGGIE, OVER HERE.
OH, GEORGE, GEORGE,
THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME HERE.
OH, YEAH? WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, THEN?
BECAUSE YOU NEVER
LISTEN TO ME.
I HAVE A ROCK.
NO, NO, NO.
IT TAKES 8 CAVEMEN
TO FELL A WILD BOAR.
WE JUST NEED TO FIND
HIS WEAK SPOT, GEORGE.
THERE IS NO WEAK SPO ON THIS THING.
WELL, WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO, THEN?
I'LL DISTRACT IT.
YOU RUN FOR IT.
GEORGE, IT'S SITTING
ON MY CLOTHES.
HA HA HA!
SMART PIG.
SO YOU DON'T FLASH THE PIG.
ON 3. 1, 2, 3.
PIG! PIG, PIG, PIG!
HEY, PIG! HEY, PIG!
OOH, OOH, LOOK, LOOK.
HEY, PIG! HEY!
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
[SQUEALS]
RUN. GO. GO.
[SQUEALING]
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! AAH!
OH, NO! SHOO! GET AWAY!
GO BACK. BACK, PIG.
GO AWAY. BAD PIG.
GO ON. GET.
JUST GET OUT OF HERE, PIG.
OH!
[SQUEALING]
YES.
WHOO! HA HA HA!
NOT BAD, HUH?
WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
I ALMOST HAD HIM,
AND HE COULD'VE HURT YOU.
YOU DON'T LISTEN.
YOU JUST NEVER LISTEN, DO YOU?
I HAD A PLAN.
- BUENOS DIAS, DR. LUCIER.
- BUENOS DIAS, ANTONIO.
I'M HERE TO REPOR A MISSING PERSON.
SHE'S AN AMERICAN.
HER NAME IS MAGGIE WESTON.
SHE DIDN'T RETURN
TO HER HOTEL LAST NIGHT.
SHE IS NOT MISSING.
SHE AND MR. WESTON WENT SAILING
TO CORAZON ISLAND.
THEY ARE PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED
ON THE ISLAND.
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH. PLEASE SIT.
HAVE YOU HAD BREAKFAST?
[PLATES CLATTER]
WE'RE DEVASTATED THA YOU'RE CUTTING YOUR STAY
WITH US SHORT, MS. HAMILTON.
MY CAT IS IN RENAL FAILURE.
YOU DON'T HAVE A MEDICAL REFUND
POLICY, BY ANY CHANCE?
GLORIA, I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW
THE WESTONS WILL BE BACK
THIS AFTERNOON.
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
- THEY F--
THEY FILED FOR DIVORCE
TWO DAYS AGO.
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE
TO CALL MY VET?
ABSOLUTELY.
THAT WAS SOME SHOT YOU MADE.
DO YOU THINK SO?
OH, YOU CONQUERED A WILD BOAR.
SUPPOSE I DID, DIDN'T I?
I'M SORRY IF I SPOILED
YOUR PLAN WITH THE PIG.
OH, I'M SORRY I WAS SO SILLY
TO GET ANGRY.
MAGGIE, WHAT HAPPENED TO US?
WE DIDN'T TAKE UP THE TANGO.
I THINK WE JUST STOPPED TALKING.
MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WE STOPPED LISTENING.
WE BURIED OURSELVES IN OUR WORK
SAVING FOR THA IMAGINARY RAINY DAY.
RAINY DAYS AREN'T IMAGINARY
TO ME, MAGGIE.
AT THE BANK, I SEE IT RAIN
ON PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
WE'RE NOT THOSE PEOPLE,
GEORGE.
[SIGHS]
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S A LITTLE AFTER 4:00.
HUH.
HEH.
WE'RE DIVORCED.
DIVORCED.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW WE ENDED UP HERE, GEORGE.
I MEAN, WE HAD SOMETHING,
DIDN'T WE?
TELL ME WE HAD SOMETHING.
WELL, OF COURSE WE DID.
YOU WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
I'D EVER ME AND THE MOST DIFFICULT.
YOU DROVE ME CRAZY.
PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON' GROW A GOATEE.
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
MEN WHO GET DIVORCES
GROW GOATEES,
AND THEY BUY SPORTS CARS.
HA HA! I PROMISE...
AS LONG AS YOU PROMISE ME
SOMETHING.
WHAT?
THAT'S YOU'LL NEVER REMARRY.
YOU WON'T EVEN DATE ANOTHER MAN.
WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT BEING FAIR?
THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
YOU DON'T GET TO FEEL THAT WAY
ANYMORE, GEORGE.
YOU WANTED A DIVORCE,
AND YOU'RE GETTING ONE.
YOU KNOW, I'M NO THE WIDE-EYED 18-YEAR-OLD
THAT YOU MARRIED 20 YEARS AGO.
I AM THE MOTHER
OF YOUR CHILDREN.
I RUN A BUSINESS, AND I'M SORRY
IF I'M NOT THERE FOR YOU
LIKE I USED TO BE, BUT YOU'RE
NOT THERE FOR ME, EITHER.
I CHANGED. PEOPLE CHANGE.
THAT'S LIFE. THEY GROW.
YOU HAVE TO GROW, TOO, GEORGE.
STOP BEING SO AFRAID.
SPEND YOUR MONEY. HAVE SOME FUN.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
YOU DESERVE A REWARD,
BUT SO DO I.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY IF I GREW UP
AND RUINED EVERYTHING.
I'M SORRY IF I'M A WOMAN
AND NOT A GIRL ANYMORE,
BUT IF YOU CAN'T LOVE ME
FOR WHO I AM,
THEN AT LEAST WISH ME WELL
AND SHOW ME SOME RESPEC FOR THE YEARS THAT I LOVED YOU.
I LOVED YOU.
AH, ROSA, ROSA, ROSA,
THERE IS NOTHING
LIKE A CLEAR DAY
ON MANZANILLA BAY.
ROSA, DO NOT LOOK AT ME
LIKE A SPANISH INQUISITOR.
THE WESTONS NEEDED
MY EXPERT INTERVENTION.
I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE I WHEN I PLAY CUPID,
BUT WHEN I MEET A COUPLE THA NEEDS HELP LIKE THE WESTONS--
BESIDES, I DON'T DO I VERY OFTEN.
I DON'T. BE FAIR NOW.
ONE ON EVER DIED
ON CORAZON ISLAND.
OK. ONE MAN...IN 1962,
BUT HE DIED
WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE,
YOU MUST REMEMBER.
MM, GEORGE...
GEORGE...
GEORGE? GEORGE?
OH! HUH.
LOVELY DAY FOR A RESCUE,
EH, RAMON?
MM-HMM. WELL--
GEORGE?
GEORGE?
GEORGE?
HELLO! HELLO, HELLO, HELLO!
ANTONIO, ANTONIO.
- MRS. WESTON.
MRS. WESTON, AH,
I'M DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU.
HAVE YOU SEEN GEORGE?
- HE'S NOT WITH YOU?
- NO.
MR. WESTON IS MISSING. GO.
I WILL STAY WITH THE LADIES.
OK.
DON'T WORRY. I HAVE NEVER
MISPLACED A TOURIST.
ROSA, HORCHATA PARA LA SENORA.
WE WERE SLEEPING IN THE CAVE,
AND WHEN I WOKE UP, HE WAS GONE.
- SHOW ME, PLEASE.
- YEAH.
IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING,
WAS THERE A QUARREL?
NO. WELL, YES, BUT--
YOU ARGUED, PERHAPS?
PLEASE, JUST FIND HIM.
HE MIGHT BE HURT.
DON'T WORRY. WE WILL
PRAY TO SAINT JUDE FOR HIM.
GEORGE IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.
I CAN'T JUST LEAVE.
RAMON IS CALLING
THE HELICOPTER.
THEY WILL SEARCH INTO THE NIGHT.
WE MUST LEAVE
BEFORE IT GETS DARK.
ONLY IF YOU PROMISE ME
YOU'LL FIND HIM.
OF COURSE.
I PROMISE, BUT NOW PLEASE--
WHERE ON EARTH COULD HE BE?
[OINKING]
NO, PIG! NO! NOT AGAIN.
GET BACK. BACK, BACK, BACK.
GO AWAY. AAH! OH! MAGGIE!
WHOA! GO. GO.
HELP! UH UH UH! OH, MY GOD.
OH, GOD. OH...
MAGGIE! MAGGIE!
OOH! MAGGIE!
OH! OUCH! MAGGIE!
SO YOU'RE NOT SURE
HOW HE FEELS,
BUT YOU WANT TO GIVE I A CHANCE.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET A DIVORCE,
AND YOU'RE ON THE PLANE
TOMORROW.
YES. I THINK SO.
I DON'T EXPECT YOU
TO UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE IN LOVE
WITH YOUR HUSBAND.
IT HAPPENS.
YOU HAVE SOUL, PHILLIP.
I THINK THAT'S WHAT ATTRACTED ME
TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
NOT MY SMILE?
WELL, THE SMILE
GOES WITHOUT SAYING,
AND I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE THIS
THE WRONG WAY,
BUT, YOU KNOW, THE FACT THAT YOU
WERE ATTRACTED TO ME,
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
HOW IMPORTANT THAT WAS.
MAGGIE, HOW COULD ANYBODY
NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU?
DISFRUTA LA VIDA.
I'LL HAVE
ANOTHER COCO LOCO, PLEASE.
[CHUCKLES]
SO TELL ME, GEORGE,
WHEN WAS THE MOMENT YOU SAID,
"HEY, THERE'S AN ELEPHANT IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM.
WE NEED A DIVORCE"?
GLORIA, I'M AN IDIOT.
- OH, I THINK YOU'RE GREAT.
- OH, THANKS.
THAT MEANS A LOT BECAUSE I HAD
MORE FUN WITH YOU THE OTHER DAY
THAN I HAVE HAD IN YEARS,
AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
- THAT'S A PROBLEM?
- YES.
YOU SEE, I NEED TO HAVE FUN
WITH MY WIFE--
MY EX-WIFE OR WHATEVER--
I MEAN, IF SHE'LL LET ME.
TELL ME THIS IS MAKING SENSE.
UH...IN A WAY.
GLORIA, YOU ARE
AN EXTRAORDINARY WOMAN,
AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH
YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE.
GET A MASSAGE EVERY DAY
AND NEVER STOP WINDSURFING.
20 BUCK TIP? GENEROUS GUY.
WHAT DO YOU EXPEC FROM A BANKER?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HA HA HA!
HELLO? HELLO?
OH, YES. OH. HEE HEE HEE!
THANK YOU, ANTONIO.
OH, SAY HELLO FOR ME. OW.
GEORGE, WE'RE GONNA
MISS OUR PLANE.
ANTONIO IS SENDING A CAR FOR US.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
HA HA HA!
I DON'T FEEL DIVORCED...
NEITHER DO I.
AND I DON'T FEEL MARRIED,
EITHER.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
BETTER.
ME, TOO.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. BYE.
I TIPPED THEM $4.00,
$2.00 EACH.
IT'S GREAT.
IT'S NOT TOO MUCH?
PERFECT.
MAGGIE, WE CAN'T BE DIVORCED.
HOW ARE WE GONNA
TELL THE KIDS?
MAGGIE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
ANTONIO, WOULD YOU
MARRY US, PLEASE?
I WOULD BE HONORED,
BUT IT'S NOT NECESSARY
BECAUSE I DID NOT FILE
THE DIVORCE PAPERS.
MY DEAR MR. AND MRS. WESTON,
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND.
SO MANY COUPLES COME
TO MANZANILLA EACH YEAR,
BUT WHEN I SAW YOU,
SOME VALENTINO SPOKE TO ME,
AND HE SAID, "ANTONIO,
HERE ARE TWO PEOPLE
WHO DESPERATELY WAN TO FIX A LOVE THAT IS BROKEN."
WAS I WRONG TO LISTEN?
NO.
GEORGE, WE COULD RENEW OUR VOWS.
BUT THERE'S NO TIME.
THEY'RE BOARDING.
NO, NO, NO.
BOARDING AND LEAVING,
TWO VERY DIFFERENT PROCEDURES.
HEY!
[SNIFFING]
AND DO YOU, MAGGIE WESTON,
TAKE GEORGE WESTON
TO LOVE, HONOR, AND OBEY--
UH, "OBEY." NO.
WE DON'T GO THERE.
AMERICANS.
TO CHERISH FOREVER
IN SICKNESS AND HEALTH
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD AS LONG AS
YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
I DO.
NOW YOUR RING. YOUR RING.
WHERE'S YOUR RING, GEORGE?
WHERE IS IT?
UH...
GOOD BOY. GOOD BOY.
GOOD DOG. GOOD BOY.
THERE IT IS.
AH.
AH.
HA HA!
WITH THE POWER VESTED IN ME
AS CHIEF MAGISTRATE
OF MANZANILLA,
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE...
AGAIN.