Second Nature (2016) Movie Script

Now where was it?
That's not even HD.
That's a corncob.
I'm trying but...
Give it a sec.
Alright, we've heard
some great ideas from Bret.
And Amanda you are
looking so lovely today.
Show of hands for Bret.
Let's go Bret.
And those for Amanda?
Congratulations Bret.
What's the first
thing you're gonna do
as class president?
Kool-aid in the
drinking fountains.
Come on, that's
so not practical.
Says the also ran.
We already have a
terrible ant problem...
Amanda, that sounds
a little bossy.
Yeah, also ran.
Also ran!
Also ran!
Also ran!
Also ran!
- Also ran!
- Shhh!
Also ran!
Also ran!
Kind words please!
Also ran!
Also ran!
Also ran!
Also ran!
I'm not an also ran.
I'm not an also ran.
You are amazing.
Say it.
I'm hot.
I'm smart.
I'm my own boss.
When I respect myself,
doors will open.
What are
you waiting for?
My clothes.
Breathe in love.
Treat yourself.
Start out your day
in perfect balance.
You like that?
Hell yeah.
Jesus, hand over the ball.
You want me to
fumble your balls?
Just play with them.
Ugh no.
I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.
I got caught up.
Ugh, wait.
Listen Jenny, do
you need a ride or...
That's really sweet of you,
but it's Penny.
That was my favorite shirt.
You've got
a stop sign you asshole!
I can't believe
you're still doing this.
Haven't you been there
longer than most of the guys?
I really don't mind Amanda.
What about last year
when you broke your...
I sprained my ankle so.
You make me crazy.
This is my big break.
Sometimes you have
to do the grunt work.
What, in 10 years they're
gonna make you pizza girl?
Hello ladies.
Bring us something honey?
Come on darling.
You know you look a lot
prettier when you smile.
Thank you.
That wasn't a compliment.
These assholes bothering you?
Oh hey.
Probably shouldn't
put yourselves
in these types of situations.
I forgot to bring
this to our date.
Oh, so it was a date huh?
I went too far.
I like the flower.
I suck at this.
Hey, do you want
this while I'm here?
I've kinda got my...
Going to town
hall for the thing?
What thing?
You didn't...
The mayor died.
Shit, what?
Oh shit!
This is a tragic
day for Louisburg.
Here with an update,
Sheriff Ross.
Thank you Bret.
Around 0300, Mayor
Gleason was found
deceased in his Buick
after going over a cliff
at the Rock Quarry
in Badger Pocket.
He might have
survived the crash,
but then the coyotes.
What about the
woman he was with?
Oh that would be
Joanne, the Mayor's...
She's recovering
at the hospital.
That's all we have.
Thanks Sheriff.
I'd like to have a
moment of silence
to remember the best Mayor
Louisburg has ever had.
Born and raised here,
he really understood what
our community needed.
He renovated the church
and then he also
negotiated the deal
to bring us a
Honker's restaurant.
Oh that was too much.
It's alright, it
was loud though.
Anyway, a lot of you
are probably wondering
what's gonna happen
with the open position.
Well, there will be a
special election in one week.
Candidates need to
submit their paperwork
to Judy by the end of the day.
I myself am running.
I'm having a fundraiser
tonight at Honker's.
Free wings.
Johnson for Mayor.
You're doing it right?
Not again, mmm mmm.
Amanda this is your chance.
That's what I
thought last time.
Nobody wants to vote
for an also ran.
Hey grandma.
What happened?
Seriously grandma?
I think you need to come
to town and live with me.
Is this my prescription?
Yes, and something else
that I think you should have.
Oh goodness,
I don't need a gun.
I know.
I don't like them
anymore than you do,
but grandma what else
do you have out here?
I've got Thunder.
Thunder is a cat.
But she's my
sweet Thunder pussy.
Okay grandma, can you
please not say that again?
What do you mean?
You know, if the
city would annex Hillview
you'd have police
and fire out here,
it'd be so much safer.
I thought
you already brought that
up with the City Council?
Well, if I was Mayor I
could make that happen.
Well, don't forget, the
Burkhearts and the Nickels
are right next door.
Grandma, the Burkhearts
can barely walk
and the Nickels can never
remember who you are.
You think that they're
gonna protect you?
You've got a
good heart Amanda.
Over here.
You found it?
Is it under this?
Well I hope so.
Alright, here we go.
You can do it.
Oh wow.
Got it?
Look at her.
Grandma what's this?
I think that's part of
my old sewing machine.
Oh goodness.
I don't even remember
when I buried this.
Well it says here 1974.
You would have been my age.
Watch your mouth.
Sorry grandma.
Oh look.
"Return within seven days."
I think you might have
missed the window.
Yeah well you can have the
piece of shit if you want.
I think it's about time
that you should have it.
Have fun.
Hey Bret.
Hey buddy!
Hey, question.
Why do you need
maternity leave again?
Come on man, we've
been over this.
No I know I know,
but are you pregnant?
Told you it wasn't a beer gut.
Yeah, seriously though,
you're gonna ditch us man?
Jane's really gonna need me.
I know, I'm just
messing with ya.
Hey look, I got you a gift.
Yeah, no problem buddy.
Welcome to fatherhood.
That is the last
thing in your house
that's gonna get any piece
of your wife's boobs.
I would sterilize that.
He's definitely tried it out.
That think cost me
150 bucks Maxwell.
And you're late, why?
Well, my grandma
got robbed again.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
As the new Mayor
I will make sure
that things like that
don't happen anymore.
What makes you think you're
definitely gonna be Mayor?
I'm unopposed.
And I'm the best
man for the job.
It's not a microphone brother.
Can you hear me?
What if it's not a man?
What if it's a woman?
I'm running for Mayor too.
Seriously though,
three years ago it didn't
go that great for you.
So what's different
about this time?
Thank you for
bringing that up.
No problem.
You know, I think because
people are tired of bullshit.
And I, if I'm Mayor, will
actually make change.
That's a lot of if's.
It's actually one if.
Look at the facts okay.
How many women
presidents have we had?
Other countries
are more progressive.
Thanks Jeff.
Like Iceland.
Strip clubs are banned there
and there are
countries in Africa
where babies use their father's
nipples as pacifiers.
You should run
for office there.
Amanda, is this how
this works, like this?
You guys are dicks.
Why would I know
how that works?
Oh because I have boobs!
- Yes!
- Yeah 'cause you have boobs!
Got it.
Yes, that's exactly
how it works.
How's this feel?
It's umm.
Give it!
Point Maxwell!
Torture device.
Hey Judy.
Oh hi Amanda.
What's this?
This is awesome.
I think you'll
make a great Mayor.
Thank you.
Hold on.
Are you doing what I
think you're doing?
Why, what do you
think I'm doing?
What are you doing?
Oh, she's gonna do it again
so I can get it
for the front page.
Here you go Judy.
And for the headline
it needs to read,
"No more blowjobs with
your tax dollars."
I am so proud of you.
Maybe you can accomplish
what I never could.
Actually Ruthie,
I would love it if you would
be my campaign manager.
Eh, you don't want
an old lady like me.
Get someone young and fresh.
Stop it.
Listen, seriously, I'm
not gonna run without you.
Okay, on one condition.
Don't just beat Bret,
annihilate that shit head.
Ruth, I love it.
That felt good.
Now go get 'em.
Oh my gosh.
There's no going back now.
I would never ever
have the guts to do this.
Stop it, you could do it.
No I couldn't.
Oh, it's Dex.
Oh, how's that going?
Well, actually I am making.
I was, I was making
him dinner tonight.
As Mayor of Louisburg,
I promise that I
will make this town
more business
friendly for shops,
restaurants, hell
gentleman's clubs.
I'm gonna bring it all in.
I'm gonna make this town...
Hi, welcome to Honkers.
Are you here for the fundraiser?
Are you
here for Bret Johnson?
Are you a supporter?
No I'm not, I'm just
picking up a friend.
I look
forward to speaking
with all of you one on one.
Especially Miss Maxwell.
Someone whose support
I did not expect.
Not supporting,
not supporting.
Not supporting.
You are supporting.
No I'm not.
You are, you're here.
Heads up.
I just saw something
coming at me.
What the hell?!
Hey, move with me, come on.
Oh I've got the moves baby.
Okay, alright okay.
Oh yes.
Hey Dex, Dex
what are you doing?
Way to go fellas!
Bret, hey man this
fundraiser was awesome!
City Council, thanks for
all the free food and shit.
You guys are gonna
make the best team.
You guys voting for Bret?
You guys are voting for him.
You want Bret for Mayor?
Dex I'm running.
You're running.
Kinda changes things doesn't it?
Don't worry, I'll
totally vote for you.
Dex are you okay?
Yeah yeah,
just one minute.
Cool, I'm just gonna
let you rest there.
Hey thank you.
Excuse me gentlemen.
I need you, come here.
What's going on?
Is the council backing you?
Well it's a fundraiser.
Oh my god, if I
were Mayor I would
actually make this town better!
I'd be able to
protect my grandma!
What are you gonna do?!
You're gonna put in strip clubs.
Face it, if you win
it's only gonna be
because you have a penis.
Oh, I don't need a penis.
You're not gonna get
the votes because
you're in your 30's,
you're unmarried,
and you have a lousy haircut.
You know what?
You have a terrible
haircut, check it out,
right there, 30's,
unmarried, awful haircut.
What's the difference?
The difference is I'm a dude.
So it doesn't really matter.
My haircut is standard.
Let go!
I wish that men would
behave like women.
The world would be
a lot better place.
I wish women
would act like men,
it'd be more action less talk.
Let go!
Are you okay?
just happened, shit?
My watch is broken.
I gotta go.
Good talk.
alright in there?
I'm fine.
Oh my god.
Dex, what are you...
Dex, what's going on?
I was gonna make you eggs.
But waffles it is.
That's so sweet of you.
What's going on with you?
Shouldn't I be
asking you that?
I didn't think I drank
that much last night.
Hey, do you know who put
that ugly couch there?
You did.
Are you wearing makeup?
Don't forget, I'm
cooking you dinner tonight.
Gotta go to pilates.
God, what is this?
morning sunshine.
Why are you dressed like that?
I got an early meeting.
- How ya doing?
- Hey.
- Good to see ya.
- Ugh, hungover.
Yeah yeah.
Oh, alright.
Sorry, excuse me, thanks.
After you,
chivalry is dead.
Oh, careful there hot stuff.
Oh my god, sorry.
I like the vests ladies.
You like women in uniform.
Yeah, potentially
out of uniform too huh?
I'm gonna get you guys
raises when I'm Mayor,
so don't forget to vote alright?
I like the way he walks.
Morning Amanda.
Hey, do you know
who put these here?
Bret, he likes cats.
What are you doing at...
Yo, what's up?
Are you ready for
kickoff tonight?
Girls, not inside, please.
Are you okay?
No, suddenly you
catch like my grandpa?
What the...
I need a drink.
Now you're talking.
Nice purse.
Thank you.
Hey, could you get me a cup
of coffee when you go out?
What's up boys.
Bring it in.
I actually really wanna talk
to you guys about something.
Listen, I know
it's a little weird
with Amanda and I both
running for Mayor,
but I really need to know
that you guys have my back.
Of course.
Speaking of, I think
for this campaign,
you should probably
stick to wearing makeup.
No, no, he's got
great skin, great skin.
But Bret, you have to shave.
What the hell are
you talking about?
I respect a man
who goes natural.
But you need to win.
Wait, are you guys wearing?
You guys wearing makeup?
Hey, just know that
we're here for ya.
You're here for me.
You're here for me.
Perfect, good, got it!
You guys are good.
This is a good prank.
Let's see how long
you keep it up huh?
My door's locked.
What's going on there?
Mmm, it's really good.
I'm really impressed.
I thought you could
use a nice quiet dinner.
Thank you.
God, today was so weird.
You know I'm
here for you right?
Mmm hmm, mmm hmm, yeah.
Hey are you okay?
I'm fine.
No, I'm not fine.
I'm scared.
I feel like we're
just starting at this
and now you're gonna be Mayor.
It's just a lot.
Hey, that's not
gonna change anything.
Amanda, you're gonna
have guys all over you.
I will?
Are you jealous?
Maybe, I don't know, I just,
I have this feeling...
Hey listen,
I'm not like that okay?
I like you.
There are no other guys.
Amanda why is
Bret calling you?
Terrible timing?
Why is he calling you?
I don't know, it
could be anything.
Then answer it.
No, answer it now.
You know what Dex, back off.
Geez, I'm not gonna hit you.
Hey you really
stepped up your game.
I see a shit ton of
your yard signs around.
I don't have any
yard signs up yet.
Hey, I have a question.
Have you noticed
people acting weird?
Yet, you're the only one
who seems remotely normal.
Alright, I gotta go.
Have a good night.
Oh I will, I have a date.
And she is picking me up.
Which is good 'cause
I can't find my truck.
Hey there.
You shouldn't be
walking all alone.
Have you
always been a cop?
Have you always been a hottie?
Got a
1031 at 4th and Main.
Copy that, enroute.
Oh my god.
What are you doing?
Come here.
Just relax.
I don't know what to say.
Am I sexy to you Amanda?
Yes, of course you are.
I just wasn't expecting it okay.
Today has been really weird.
I shouldn't have
eaten dinner tonight.
It's probably what it is.
You look great.
That is not what it is.
Yeah look?
I'm totally pooching out.
You are not pooching out.
You just don't get it.
Actually I kinda do.
I just wish you knew
what it was like to be me.
Wait what?
You really don't
know what it's like
to be judged by your
looks every day okay.
Holy shit.
Holy shit!
Amanda the election
stress, look,
it's getting to you already.
Yeah that's,
that's probably what it is.
Hey it's
Bret, leave a message.
Hey Bret, we
should probably talk.
Call me.
This is Amanda.
Oh my god.
Back off Queen sucker!
Jesus grandma it's me!
Oh gosh!
I don't see so well.
I thought you were one of them.
What the hell are
you doing here?
Your prescription.
Oh great.
I stopped taking
that shit years ago.
I thought it you needed
it for your strength?
Are you calling me a wiener?
No grandma.
I got one of your yard signs
but someone stole it last night.
You've been doing
some redecorating?
You know I'd vote for
you if I lived in the city.
But you know your mom
and pop would be proud.
Thanks for saying
that grandma.
Bret says I don't
stand a chance.
Well who gives a
shit what he thinks?
The whole City Council
is completely behind him.
Yeah right.
They're giving him
the ole socket wrench.
Are you okay?
So don't worry.
Why do you look so worried?
I don't know.
Do I seem different to you?
I'm not really good
at this kind of crap.
You probably need to get laid.
Oh don't grandma me.
Now is the time to get
as much dick as you can.
You've got a
good heart Amanda.
Thanks grandma.
Unlike some people.
Get off my damn
property assholes!
Oh my god.
Hey Roger.
There you are, you're late.
Despite acting like a
drunken fool last night,
you still brought in 12,000.
You're not gonna
wash your hands?
Wow you're the City Manager.
Focus Amanda.
What are the top
priorities of the citizens?
Well the quality and then
safety for our community.
Strengthen economies, more
sidewalks, and dog parks.
Dog parks.
If you're gonna
win the debate,
you gotta know this shit.
Got it.
Thanks Ruthie.
Just Ruth.
This is my son Rick.
He's at West Point
following in my footsteps.
Though we want
him to find a wife
and make a good home.
He also made you signs.
Hi, I'm Amanda.
It's an honor Miss Maxwell.
The signs look great,
thank you so much.
I checked out Bret
and Marge's yard signs,
but yours are better.
Marge who?
That's good.
No name recognition.
She doesn't stand a chance.
Yeah, not a chance.
So you and Ruth have
this all set then?
Oh check out the Jaguars.
Obviously I'm gonna take
your campaign photos.
But what else do we need to do
to get you in that Mayors seat?
Oh my god, just change your
text tone to a ball and chain.
I don't know,
there's just this like,
sensitive side to him
that's really hot.
It seems a little clingy.
No, it's amazing.
It's because you haven't
tried his waffles.
Oh does he make his
own syrup for you?
Is that Bret?
Mmm hmm.
You giving him the
ole socket wrench yet?
then I've got dibs.
You're not gonna believe this.
Just meet me where
Honker's used to be.
What the hell is happening?
Don't look so glum.
Come on, let's go.
You're going in?
Oh no.
The world has
tipped on it's ass.
Yeah I have a theory.
Does your theory
involve my truck,
because it's missing.
Welcome to Peckers.
Two of you?
Right this way please.
Well look who it is?
Oh I'd do him.
Wanna go for a ride?
Well shit sugar dick.
You probably couldn't
handle me anyway.
Guessing she's not
usually like that?
Okay so, what
happened last night?
Okay, shit.
Right so, so well,
the night started out great.
I did my usual
thing where I called
as many girls as possible.
But instead of one showing
up, four showed up.
So I'm thinking
this is pretty cool.
They're digging me
because I can put
down more drinks
than they're used to.
Then all of a sudden
one of the hot ones
leans into me and whispers,
"I wanna rip your shirt off."
And I'm like, "What
are you waiting for?"
A great moment for me.
And they're all
rubbing all over me.
Me and this other cock
blocker showed up.
And the next thing I know,
they just started
pushing us together.
So that sounds just like
a regular ladies night.
No, I'm pressing charges.
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Oh my god.
From our brave
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their jockstraps
during the masculism movement.
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We wished for this.
I didn't wish for this.
Yes, the other
night in the backroom.
I remember the lights burst.
Oh come on.
We were arguing, you
were being a jackass.
Debatable, I remember
you were going on
about how everything
would be better
if men and women flipped.
I was thinking more equal.
Okay well would you go ahead
and magically unwish it?
Maybe I'm not
ready to go back yet.
Would you humor me and try?
Alright fine.
I wish things would go
back to the way they were.
Your heart wasn't in it.
I have no idea, I have
no idea if it worked.
Did it work?
Let's see.
What do you think of these?
There's your answer.
Wait, why are you guys
in the storage room?
My grandma's mirror.
Yes, that's it!
That's the missing link!
Where is it?
We were both holding it
and we're the only ones
who haven't changed.
Okay yes, and then it sparked
when we touched it to the...
Oh my god, look at this man.
I'm gonna need a
picture with him.
No I'm not gonna
take a picture.
Fine, selfie it is.
Hey handsome, hello.
You like this too much.
I love it, this
is freaking great!
I can't believe you
wanna go home so soon.
I thought I saw it.
Everything goes to Good Will
at the end of the month.
I think they came by yesterday.
Shit, really?
Hi, excuse me.
The girls at table 12 wanna
take a photo with you.
God, one of them tried to
grab my package last week.
If you wanna be shift lead
you gotta make sacrifices.
Okay, so she looks and
acts exactly the same.
Can we concentrate?
The mirror, can we
go to Good Will?
Hey grandma!
Grandma, you remember the mirror
we dug up in your time capsule?
You opened the time capsule?
We opened it remember?
It was in this thing.
It's your turn.
How long you been here?
We got here two nights ago.
Guess you got five days left.
Until what?
To go back through
the mirror honey.
Or stay here forever,
I don't give a shit.
Hey my watch remember,
it broke that night.
So we have exactly
five days at 10:02 pm
to find your very vulgar
grandmother's mirror
or we're stuck here forever.
Hey, plenty of
time for us to go
see a woman's football game.
You think it will be...
Well I don't think you
can say that definitively
until you actually
see it first hand.
So what
did it look like?
Well it's small, handheld...
It's got a diamond shape.
Like a thingy on the handle.
It's a fork thing,
it was copper.
Yeah, we don't
carry any mirrors.
Okay so why'd you
ask what it looked like
if you don't carry any mirrors.
I was just trying to help.
Why is this locked?
I have an idea.
No, mmm mmm.
It's great!
Holy shit!
Oh my God.
Don't get used to this.
Everything okay?
Everything is just
fine gentlemen.
I do need to have a
talk with Bret though,
so why don't you guys go ahead
and go to lunch on me.
You deserve it.
You guys have been working hard
and it's your last day
before you take leave so.
You know what, you
guys go ahead and
get a pedicure
too, on the house.
That's what I'm talking about.
Amanda you are so sweet.
Really, you are loved.
See ya.
Bye gentlemen.
So I'm a shitty boss because
I don't buy them
lunches and toe jobs.
Oh my God no.
Ew, do you know what that means?
We need to call the
police about this mirror okay.
Like now.
The debate, we forgot
about the debate.
Who cares about the debate?!
We're not going to the debate!
What if we mess up the space
time continuum or something?
We have already done that doc.
Look, we will look
for the mirror,
but in the meantime
I think we need
to see where this goes.
Just see where it goes.
Yes, come on.
Yeah run with it, fun.
That mirror is
priority number one.
What a wonderful turnout.
We'll start with an
opening statement
from each candidate.
Gentlemen first.
I'm Bret Johnson.
A vote for me means a safer town
and a stronger police and fire.
And I will work on lowering
property taxes for Louisburg.
He's a little nervous,
nothing wrong with that.
I'm Marge Crane,
my goal is simple.
Investigate the
nuclear artifacts
that are being smuggled
out of Hanford.
Eliminate them and our water
won't make the tea
taste funny no more.
Amanda Maxwell, City Council.
In addition to
safeguarding our elders
by rezoning
Hillview, I also plan
on leading our community into
a new era of egalitarianism.
Starting with equal
pay for women.
You mean equal pay for men.
I meant equal pay for
men, that's what I meant.
And new dog parks.
Why don't you tell us
more about those dog parks?
No, no.
We're gonna talk about
what Jeff just said.
Equal pay for men
and protection against
sexual harassment.
Men should not have
their dignity revoked
or their shirts.
Or be forced to kiss other men.
That's right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're saying that two
men shouldn't kiss?
No, it's not what I said.
I mean that men who
don't normally kiss men
don't have to do it.
Shouldn't have to.
If they don't want to.
I'm for equal rights.
Bret, I like the
way your shirt fits.
Can you tell my husband
where you got it?
Sure will.
I like that you go natural.
It's bold.
That's good.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
And it's clear
that you don't spend
all your money at the salon.
You've got a very
practical haircut
so you can focus on
more important things.
Thank you for noticing Amanda.
You're welcome.
Let's go ahead and
talk about anything else.
Yeah, are you single?
That's harassment.
Total bullshit!
Look, whether we have a
woman or a man at the helm,
what we need is someone who's
not preoccupied with bickering.
But who can save our sorry asses
from radioactive shit!
I hate you.
I hate you more.
Alright, I'm not
gonna sugarcoat it.
That sucked a hot cheesy vagina!
Not as bad as that swing though.
How am I supposed
to get over that?
Nobody pays attention
to debates, who cares?
I looked like
a freaking idiot.
I mean,
sometimes you have
to look like an idiot
to know how not to become one.
That is the worst
motivational speech
I have ever heard in my life.
When I look at you
I don't see an idiot.
I see a woman.
A woman who's a fighter!
And that fighter wants
to be a champion!
So you got hit, whatever.
Ovary up.
Get up off your ass
and get 'em with a
roundhouse kick to the face.
Now I have to
learn how to kick?
No, but you gotta hit better
than a freaking politician.
Alright, watch out.
Yes, yes, yes!
Jam out with your clam out.
Alright, damage control.
priority number one.
Get out and talk with people.
I'm good with people.
We need quality education
for our children
and protection for our seniors.
And more parks for our dogs.
Listen Penny, if
you see a mirror
that looks like that
could you give me a call?
Yeah I'll call you sweetheart.
You've got to
maintain your focus.
Minimize your distractions.
Got it.
Sorry, now's not
really a great time.
Pick some issues
to differentiate yourself.
Men's rights
Our human rights!
What's going on?
Hey Jeff.
Prepare for the
candidates fishing trip.
Don't wanna look
like a dumb shit.
For the big fish
I'm gonna catch.
Have you been working out?
Love your shoes.
Protecting a man's
right to a vasectomy
is the main reason
I'm running for Mayor!
You have beautiful eyes.
That's so sweet.
Your hair looks
amazing too, beautiful.
Okay loosen up
for me a little bit.
Alright, sex sells.
While freeing and empowering
men at the same time.
Work your image.
Be the women people
feel they can relate to.
There it is.
Smile with your eyes,
but not your mouth.
Oh my God, oh
my God, oh my God!
You just got maced.
Now you got it!
You look so skinny.
Go punch him in the nuts.
Oh Jeff.
I know.
I get it.
I get it.
You should get your
head gasket checked out.
That's not right.
You did this.
I did that.
I did that.
You did this with your balls.
I freaking love this town!
I don't know
if you're trying to win
or sabotage yourself.
What, I've been
doing your whole list.
My list doesn't
include getting maced
or driving drunk.
What is she doing here?
We need the
support of the county's
biggest developer.
Two days before the election.
Don't screw this up.
Hi Judy.
Alright, I'll be honest.
I've always liked you Maxwell.
But I've been
hearing some things
about you lately.
Super awesome things right?
I guess the best
way of putting it
is you're just not yourself.
That could be my fault.
I'm putting a lot
of pressure on her.
A Mayor lives under pressure.
And maybe more from the casino.
Don't worry about the
limit, it's under the table.
Thank you.
Wow, okay.
Yeah, let's go win this thing.
And if I'm going
to be redeveloping
the Hillview community for Ruth,
I just need to know
the Mayor's on board.
You mean rezoning Hillview.
We're gonna tear it up
and make shiny strip malls.
But what are you gonna
do with the residents?
They'll get bought out.
And the rest is up to them.
Your grandmother will be fine.
Estelle, this
isn't a strip club.
If you say so honey.
Most of them don't
care about money.
And I don't think
they're gonna leave.
Well that's where you come in.
For a city to flourish,
sometimes certain rights
have to be sacrificed
under a little law
called eminent domain.
It's your chance
to get grandma out
and into a home.
Oh you cutie you.
Yeah, it'd have to
be a really nice home.
With really hot attendants.
There's the ovaries.
I think we need
some shots huh?
You know I don't
want your shot.
I'm sorry.
Yeah or your money.
I'm not doing this.
Yeah, I'm not gonna do this.
There is something
wrong with you.
We can't do this without her.
Well, then we're not doing it.
Excuse me.
Ouch, shit.
What are you doing?
I'm doing it my way.
You lame ass, bitch
bribing, clit suckers!
Do you want a ride?
These guys are skanks anyway.
Is something wrong
with your phone?
We need to talk.
Oh it's this guy.
Where's Dave and Jeff?
Well if I remember correctly,
you gave Jeff six
weeks paternity leave
and Dave I, you're the boss.
And I'm...
Just tell me one thing.
Were you planning on
redeveloping Hillview?
You were.
I was pressured into it.
I was just offered
the same deal.
And I'm not caving.
Amanda I swear I
didn't know it would
effect your grandmother.
But you've lost sight
of getting home.
After tomorrow the
mirror won't work.
Have you even been
looking for it?
Hey hot stuff.
So Carol was doing a
cleanup in the alley
behind Valley Cafe and I
think we found your mirror.
I can't
believe she found it.
I know, I know.
Alright, as soon as
we get the mirror
we're gonna go back
to Honker's, Pecker's
and we're gonna recreate
everything about that night okay?
Here it is sweetheart.
Thank you so much.
Now you can look
at your pretty face.
This isn't the one.
What are you talking about?
That's the mirror, that's...
It doesn't have the
key thing on the end,
the handle is totally different.
This isn't the one.
For my sake I
was hoping it was.
Thanks Penny.
Well I hope you're happy.
Honestly, I kind of am.
I love it here.
The world is a lot
better for me here.
Is it, is it better?
You're turning
into an asshole.
Yeah, a little bit.
Because we've
been here six days
things aren't
working out totally
stacked in your favor.
Things flip and
I'm the asshole?!
Yeah okay.
That's not what I meant.
It is exactly what you meant.
You know what, good luck.
Good luck tomorrow.
Oh good luck tomorrow?!
Good luck to you.
No, good luck to you!
You can't
storm off when we're
walking to the same place.
Happy election day everyone.
I'm glad you've
joined us for the
Mayoral Fishing event.
Anyone know where Maxwell is?
No, who cares, let's do this.
Excuse me.
Excuse me folks.
We're gonna get schooled.
We're gonna be fine Marge.
Don't do anything
stupid, we can still win.
What's this we, I fired you.
You can't, I own you.
You've come prepared.
A Mayor always comes prepared.
You look dumb.
Here we go!
Which candidate will
be the best catch?
How 'bout this fresh air folks!
Too bad she's not
gonna catch any fish!
Looks like we got ourselves
a competition folks!
At least I've got my
priorities straight.
You're in my world now honey.
Aren't we supposed to
be keeping this friendly?
At least I've got a
plan for the community.
Oh you have plans?
You have a plan
for the community?
Do you guys wanna
see what kind of
planning skills Amanda has?
Let's see it, allow me.
Allow me to just, whoa!
She's got a big giant fish
on the end of this line!
Let's see here!
Oh no!
Forgot to bait the
hook, how embarrassing.
Oh shit.
Almost as
embarrassing as letting
a man strip the
pole away from her!
If she can't protect
her own fishing pole,
how is she gonna protect the
residents of Ellensburg?!
A lunatic, you
look like a lunatic.
I'm gonna find
that magic mirror.
And that I'm gonna Marty McFly
it out of here without you.
Okay, that happened.
Don't forget to vote folks
and we'll see you at the
election party tonight.
Oh dude!
Remembered all of
this gear, forgot bait.
No it's perfect, it's perfect
because Bret looked like
an over emotional man.
And Marge caught the fish
but that's like whatever.
You completely have
this in the bag.
Hey, I can hear you guys.
Sorry Marge.
Are we still cool?
She's cool.
Thank you.
Nat was right.
You totally got this.
You seem stressed.
May I?
Don't worry.
You're the favorite.
And it's not like Bret
really had a chance.
Why is that?
It's gonna take
more than a few
pretty yard signs for
this town to elect a man.
That's ridiculous.
It's whoever's best for the job.
You're such a strong woman.
And I love that about you.
What are you doing?
This isn't appropriate Rick.
I wanna be more
than just your intern.
Amanda, Amanda.
I knew it.
Hey I used to
babysit you, remember?
Little slut.
So, this is what it means
when you have a meeting
or a dinner thing huh?
No Dex.
Typical woman.
Selfish, all you want is dick.
Come on!
Yeah, it's definitely
the head gasket.
No biggie.
Torque wrench.
The one that looks
like a Jedi weapon.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you crying?
Dude, why?
I could use some comfort.
Dex left me.
That's it?
Okay well let's go
get you some cock.
I just need you to be
here with me right now.
Look, maybe this is the
wake up call you need.
Amanda you're different.
I'm different?
Yeah you're different.
This whole week you've
been dressing weird,
wearing makeup like a boy.
I'm not surprised
that Dex bailed.
You'd rather discuss
a problem to death
than actually fix it.
You forgot what a freaking
light saber looks like!
Is it this one?
We're friends right?
Tell me what's happening?!
Oh my God, you
wouldn't understand.
Spit it out.
I'm telling you it's...
Look I promise I'll be cool.
Just tell me the truth.
Are you a lesbian?
Stop it, you're
being an asshole!
Okay, alright!
That's more like it!
It's good to see some of
the old you still in there.
Okay okay fine,
you wanna know?
You wanna know what happened?
It's gonna sound insane but I
will tell you what happened.
Yeah please.
Alright, apparently I
found an old magical mirror
and it sent me
here to this world
where things are backwards.
Where the women act
like men and vice versa.
And you're sure it's not some
old magical crack
that you found?
Bret and I are the only
ones who are the same.
You and everyone else
are totally different.
And it's like, if
I stay here then,
I have a higher likelihood
of becoming Mayor
and then I could
help my grandma.
I could actually do
something to protect her.
But the whole world
here is like confusing
and it's not exactly
what I wished for.
I told you it was
gonna sound insane,
I told you it was
gonna sound crazy.
You said you
wanted to hear it.
I've always had your back.
And it's bullshit
that you can't be honest
with me right now.
Nat wait!
No, woman up and
solve your shit!
Or maybe you can talk
your truck into working.
Okay, I was telling
the truth Nat.
Yeah whatever.
Oh my God.
Hey grandma, it's really
not a good time right now.
your ass over here.
I'm wounded.
It's like
I'm bleeding pretty bad.
Okay, did you call 9-1-1?
Yup, but
they haven't responded.
Okay grandma,
my truck isn't working
but I'm coming.
I'm gonna be right
there, I'm coming.
hurry up damnit!
Shit, shit!
Hey, I need your help.
What do you want?
Listen, I need a favor okay.
Bitch please.
Are you?
Where are you, are you drunk?
Why don't I walk you home?
I know these tactics.
I've used them.
Ugh, I'm the girl.
I'm the girl.
Hey Sally, take a hike.
He's not gonna put out anyway.
He's a little...
Mental, got it, thanks.
You saved me.
Awesome, it's an
emergency, I need a ride.
I'm in no condition to drive.
I drank all these drinks.
Compliments of the sexist
bitches, they're really good.
Cool, I'll drive.
I don't have my truck.
I have a car now.
I love it.
I really love it.
Shut up.
I love it.
You think she's alright?
I hope so.
Oh my God I hate
this place so much.
I hate it, I hate it here.
And you have everything
you've ever wanted.
My God, this is
not what I wanted.
Oh yeah, you must be suffering
with all the rules
bent in your favor.
Are you okay?
No I'm not.
I'm not okay.
No one thinks I can do anything.
And it's not the
harassment and the groping.
'Cause that was fun
for a little while.
It's the fact that
no one listens to
what I have to say.
That's how you feel
after only a week?
Oh stop.
Don't do that.
Don't, don't.
Don't turn it into a thing okay.
All this is a
complete exaggeration.
Trust me it's not.
Oh my God, Nat found it!
I don't know.
Well call her!
We're kind of having a thing.
What do you mean
you're having a thing?
Are you serious?
No, I know.
You're just dragging your feet
'cause you wanna stay
in your little world
of puppies and rainbows.
I'm calling her.
What's up hymen head?
Hey Nat.
Oh wow, she's
already making move.
Listen, the mirror
that you found,
where did you find it exactly?
Chill, it's at Howells.
Okay, well this
is very important.
We need you to buy
it, we need it.
Yeah I'd imagine, magic mirrors
are hard to come by right?
You told
her it was magic?
Gotta go!
Wait Nat, wait, wait, wait!
Okay we need to turn around.
We need to turn around
and get back to Howell's
before they.
What, your grandmother said
that if the mirror won't
work after 10:02 tonight!
My grandma is hurt okay!
She needs our help!
Yeah okay you're right.
Thank you.
I'm okay.
Don't be freaking
out on me here.
I won't, I won't, let me see.
That's a lot of blood.
I'm pathetic, they got
me with my own damn gun.
We just need to
get you out of here.
Are you still having fun?
One day I'll tell you
about my own adventure.
Oh, we gotta get
her to the hospital.
Can you stand?
Oh, you know what sugar.
You're a lot prettier
when you smile.
She's stable.
I don't know what
I would have done
if she hadn't made it.
Yeah but she did make
it, she's stable right?
I just can't
stop thinking like,
what if this is happening like
in the old world and I,
I won't be able to protect her.
We're running out of time.
I know.
We have to go, we have to go.
Less then 10 minutes until
Ellenburg's next Mayor is
announced here at town hall.
So if you get a
chance, come down
and check out the
exciting finish.
I need to know.
We have to get the mirror.
I'm sorry.
Forget it.
I'm getting out of this
world with or without you.
What do you mean it's gone?
Someone bought it?
It's time to announce.
Hey, the woman of
the hour made it.
Our new Mayor Amanda Maxwell.
Oh hell.
You're still certifiable.
Thanks Nat.
Thank you so much everyone
for supporting me.
I'm so grateful for a
system that's free of...
I'm sorry, I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I didn't win.
Judy and Ruth did.
Your votes were bought.
I wanna win this on
my own or not at all.
Let's get out of here.
Nat's got it.
You do?!
What this?
That's it.
Oh God.
Hey that's Bret's mirror.
The one we've been looking for.
Probably why he hasn't
been doing his makeup.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
say that again?
That after you give his
girlfriend back his mirror
we can go grab some cosmos?
Who the hell are you?
You know what Sheriff
we got this I think.
If you say so.
It's what I've
been telling you Nat.
We need it.
Oh my God, this is...
We have like eight minutes.
We need to get to Pecker's.
But what's gonna
happen when you...
Listen, I promise
you're gonna be fine okay.
I just want you to
know you've made me
a much stronger person and
I'm gonna miss the new you.
This is nonsense.
No, it's a nuclear artifact.
Marge, back off!
Hey, let go!
It's the Hanford smugglers!
Shut up Marge!
Got the mirror!
Punch you!
You can't, love hug!
Amanda, let's go!
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
Are you okay?
Quarantine the area!
Marge just...
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Holy Shit!
Holy Shit!
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Hey, for what it's
worth, congrats on the win.
You know, if we get back,
you might not get the chance.
Yeah I know.
You know what I'm
willing to try.
I mean, the system is
just as corrupt here.
Hey, when we get back let's,
let's try to make things better.
Did you hit your head?
So I have a confession to make.
Uh oh.
I've been saving up my money
to start my own business.
To compete with me?
I'm impressed.
But I was thinking
I'd rather...
How would you feel
about having a partner?
You wanna buy in?
50, 50.
I'm sorry, sorry.
I almost pulled a
Mayor Gleason on us.
Well, one big
difference but yeah.
Oh come on, really?
Step on it!
Alright, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go, go, go, go, go!
I'm going!
Hi, welcome to
Pecker's, hello.
We were both holding it.
Alright so just say it.
Alright, I wish for
our old life back.
I wish it too.
Oh, we were holding
it to that thing.
Okay you ready?
I'm not gonna
lose my best friend!
No, no, no.
Don't do it!
Are we back?
I don't know.
Oh thank God.
Oh thank God.
Are you serious?
Oh my God.
This is amazing.
Oh what's amazing?
Are you okay?
Yeah, what, are
we in a lesbian bar?
You're still flipped.
She was holding
the mirror with us
when we.
Wait, oh my God.
It's broken, I don't,
I don't know how we're
gonna get you back.
I'll just stay here
and shake things
up with you chumps.
Okay well listen,
it's gonna be really
weird for you out there
so you might puke.
Or pee your pants.
Or like queef.
But definitely something's
coming out of my body
is what you're telling
me right now right?
Are those fake boobs?
We'll go over it later.
Hey Dex.
Dex wake up.
Are we home?
I am.
Listen, this isn't working.
We're not a match in any world.
Amanda I...
I'm gonna throw up!
What is up with Dex?
I think we need to
introduce you to Louisburg.
Show me what you got.
Hey listen, been
thinking a lot about the
whole paternity leave thing.
I wanna do it for ya.
I wanna make it as
long as possible.
Yeah, you deserve it man.
Thank you.
Absolutely, I
genuinely mean that.
Give me one second boys
I gotta go do something.
Hey everyone, hi.
I just wanted to thank
you all for coming out
and supporting me tonight.
This is gonna
sound really weird,
but I've had a
very transformative
last five or six minutes.
And I've had a bit
of a change of heart.
And a change of clothes.
And I've realized that
I can't be your Mayor.
Yeah, I can't be your Mayor
because I've found
someone who's better
suited for the position.
She's determined, she's honest,
and she's gonna take
this town by the balls.
So I hope you can
all stand behind me
in giving your support
to Amanda Maxwell.
Get up there Maxwell.
Let's see it.
Thank you Bret.
Wow, those are really kind words
from someone that
I've gotten to know
better than I ever
thought I would want to.
Said with love.
If I'm elected your Mayor
I will work with
the City Council
to hire Bret Johnson
as our City Manager.
Because he'd be great at that.
Because if there's
one thing I've learned,
it's that behind every
great woman there is a man.
Staring at her ass.
So are you happy with
how the new Mayor
has been taking
care of Hillview?
A lot better than the way
she took care of my mirror.
Oh that's okay dear.
it was really fun seeing
you in the other dimension
I have to say.
Oh really, what did I do?
Oh you know,
cuss like a sailor.
Oh my goodness.
Tried to sleep with
every man I know.
Yeah, it was cool.
Are you gonna
dig this up again
in another 30 years?
Maybe we won't have to.