Sensitive Parts (2017) Movie Script
- Have I told you that
I like your shoulders?
- Thanks, they attach my arms to my torso.
- Yeah, they do.
What, what are you doing?
- Um, nothing, I'm just...
- Wiping the walls?
- No, I was trying to set the mood
by turning off the lights.
- No, no, no, you can't
turn off the lights,
you gotta leave it on, I wanna see you.
- Why?
- Because I need the
full sensory experience.
- No, that's so dumb.
- No, no.
Don't you wanna see the rest of my tattoo?
- The V-necks you wear
are all ready so low,
I'm pretty sure I've seen the whole thing.
- I love it when you sass me, Delori.
- Please don't say my name
when we're fooling around.
- Why?
- Because it's the least
sexiest pronoun in the world.
I'm tired.
You should go, I don't
want you to fall asleep
at the wheel and die.
- It's cold out there.
- Put your clothes on first OBVs.
- Can I stay here?
- That's a possibility.
- It would be nice, don't you think?
- I don't know.
I didn't really think about it.
- Don't send me out there in the cold.
I feel so used and abused.
- Okay.
Just don't look.
- I thought you were tired.
- I am, but I need to
do something to unwind
and it's either this
or binge watch episodes
of The Mindy Project, and
I thought this would be
quieter for you.
- So thoughtful.
How long have you been up?
- Um, just a few minutes.
- I was looking forward
to waking up together.
- Morning breath.
- Morning breath is
part of the experience.
So what are you doing today?
- Just work, then I'm gonna call Shenade
and find out what time her flight gets in.
- Oh yeah, she gets in tomorrow, right?
- Mmm hmm, I know, I can't wait.
I can't wait to see her,
it's gonna be so exciting.
- I'm excited to meet her.
I tried to creep her on Facebook actually,
but couldn't find her.
- Yeah, she's not on Facebook.
- Whoa, rebel.
- Yeah.
Do you want any like milk or sugar?
- No, tell me more about Shenade.
- She's like Ernest
Hemingway with a vagina.
- Nice, what else?
- She's like confident,
and amazing, and talented,
and smart, resilient, and tough, and,
she's like a total babe.
- I can't wait to meet her.
Make sure you text me
about those dinner plans.
- Yeah.
- Because you know I'll forget.
- What about you, what
are you doing today?
You're meeting your ex, aren't you?
- Yeah, eventually.
- Where you guys going?
- We're going to, we're
gonna to the Storm Crow.
- Oh, I really like that place.
I'm really glad that
you introduced me to it.
- Yeah, yeah, me too, I mean,
it's one of her favorite places too.
So since she's only in
town for a little while,
I guess she wants to maximize her time.
- Yeah, did you guys go there a lot?
- Yeah, a fair bit, she
knew one of the servers.
- Are you guys going
for food, like dinner?
- No, no, I don't think so.
I think it's just drinks or couple beers,
just something chill like that.
- That will be good,
that will be like cool,
just hanging out and having beers.
- It will be fine, it's
just to like mend fences
and maybe catch up a
little bit or whatever,
but that's it.
It's good though because
I hate being on bad terms
with any of my exes.
- Mmm hmm.
- It's the worst.
- You're all right.
You've got nothing to worry about.
You're irreplaceable.
- Hey, hey, thank you
so much for last night,
for letting me stay and like everything.
I had such a good time.
- Yeah, it's fine, you
don't have to thank me.
I also thought it was pretty great.
- I really like you, Delori.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Yeah, no, I know the form
you're talking about.
Yeah, you'd, both sides, yeah,
and then sign it at the bottom.
No, no, I'm not saying our
fax machine doesn't work,
yeah, we have a fax machine.
Yes, I will call you and let
you know when we have it.
You're welcome, bye.
- Honey.
That's not gonna make you feel better.
- I am pathetic.
- Nothing about you is pathetic,
you just got some bad habits.
- I just can't stop thinking
about all these horrible
things that are happening.
- Listen, that scrawny white
boy wouldn't do anything
to jeopardize his chances
at getting another taste.
You feel me?
- You say that, but he's
had a lot of girlfriends.
- So, he'll be able to appreciate
you more in comparison.
- I'm not like you, people don't regret it
when they leave me.
I also don't get to
write a pop song about it
and rub it in their face.
- I'm sure you've broken
more hearts than you know.
- I just, I didn't see
it coming the last time.
- Yeah, well, I knew that one was trouble
the moment he walked in.
- Yeah, but you can't always
know it though, right?
- No, you can't.
But it doesn't matter, no
horrible thing could ever
bring you down, you're tough.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Call your girlfriend.
- Hi.
- Hey, let me see your face?
- Oh.
- Hey,.
- What up, slut?
- I get to see you tomorrow!
- I know, I can't wait, I'm so excited.
Do you need me to pick
you up from the airport?
- Yes, please.
- And you are still packing.
- I'm almost finished packing, actually.
- Are you used to
sleeping in airports yet?
- No, that is not my
favorite part of traveling.
- Well at least you have traveled,
I mean, you're so worldly.
- You know what, you will
travel, we will travel.
- I know, I know.
I guess I've just been
getting antsy because
I've working in an office for a year,
and you've been trotting
the globe like a horse
with a freaking fire card.
- Well I have been giving
my fair share of rides.
- Ooh, giddy up.
So, what's your last week been like?
- It's been okay, I've been a
little nervous about leaving,
you know, just like uprooting myself,
but I'm just not letting it bother me.
- Makes sense, I mean,
leaving everyone behind,
I'd be pretty crushed.
- Go to bed sweetie, what
are you even doing up?
- Just hanging out, waiting
to talk to your babely self.
- And?
- I looked at some stuff on the internet
and made myself feel like crap.
- Delori, are you okay?
- It's just gonna be really
good to have you back, Shenade.
- I have missed you so much, my love.
I'm so glad that we're gonna be living
in the same city again!
- Hello!
- Yo, girl!
- Ah, you're here!
I'm so excited, I was
so scared you were gonna
get on a different flight at Pearson
that I called the passport
office and told them
that you were their first born.
- That makes sense.
I was wondering why they took my vibrator.
Guess they didn't want me to
blow up a plane, fair enough.
Then I kind of got my
attention caught by something
in the corner of my eye so
I turned to see what it was
and the guy next to me had his dick out.
- What?
- Yeah, like fully out, on
the bus, fucking masturbating.
Honestly, I was like scared,
like how do you handle
this kind of situation?
I've never been around this before.
Like obviously looking back on it,
I had nothing to worry about,
I wasn't in like real danger,
but it's really freaky.
- I mean, yeah.
- That was probably like the weirdest,
maybe even worst moment.
- Like that's the kind of stuff
that would scar me for life.
That's the kind of stuff
that just makes me so nervous
about traveling, I don't wanna do it.
- Honestly, if I let
every weirdo and asshole
scar me for life, my whole
body and soul would look
like Seal's face.
You just get over it.
- Well, what do you wanna
do now that you're back?
- Okay, I know this will
probably sound kind of crazy
coming from me, but I
feel like I might be ready
to settle down and start my real life.
- Like get pregnant?
- No, no, not, no.
I mean like get a steady
job and save some money
and maybe do some volunteer
work, or read a book
just because.
Have like a real relationship,
and be a better friend.
- Okay, you're a great friend,
but if you ever leave me again,
I'm gonna hunt you down
and I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna have you embalmed.
- So you can
have me around forever.
- No, so I can touch your
stupid face whenever I want.
- What the fuck, hey!
- No, you cannot do that
to me while I'm driving,
I almost hit that guy.
Speaking of relationships,
now that you're back,
do you think you're gonna
try and ignite an old flame?
You know, like see what that
friendly ghost is up to?
- Casper, um, I don't know, I mean,
I haven't talked to him since I left,
so I don't even know what
he's up to these days.
You haven't talked to
him at all, have you?
- Nope.
- I mean, I think it would
be nice to see him again,
but I also think it
could be really awkward.
I mean, there's just so
many unresolved feelings.
- Ugh, feelings.
- Would you believe that I
still talk him online a bit,
like a little bit, like
once every two weeks.
- Of like all the wieners.
- I know, I know, of all the dicks,
he's the one that got away.
You know what, I cannot wait to get home,
have a shower, get this plane off of me,
and then we can start
talking about tonight.
- We're gonna like tear it up,
we're gonna like party and stuff.
- And am I gonna get to meet
your new piece of man meat
tonight too?
- Uh, yes.
- I am so excited.
Whoa, sexy moves.
- Thanks, I've picked up a few.
- What about the food,.
- Tonight is the casserole,
you put in the oven
and it heats.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Sounds like a dance party in here.
- Well hello studly do me right.
- Hello, listen, I know how
much you love boxed wine
but let me introduce you to...
- Ha, bottle wine.
- Hello.
- How fancy.
- Right?
- Shenade, this is my best
friend in the whole entire world,
Shenade.
- Hey, Ryan.
- Shenade.
- She just got back from
this crazy adventure
traveling to all these crazy places.
She's amazing, she's super smart,
and she's a total sexy man eater OBVs.
- OBVs, for sure.
- Oh, and he takes people
around Wisser on tours,
and he makes really good sandwiches,
and he has some pretty neat tattoos.
- I do.
- I'm gonna have to try
one of those sandwiches.
- You like reuben's?
- Sure.
- This is so exciting
that you guys are actually
in the same room together, oh my gosh!
I have to go pee, but
you guys keep chatting
and I'll be back.
- I'll get some glasses.
- Yeah.
- Hey, how's it going out there?
- Great.
It's just really hard to
believe that people actually
like me so to have them
in the same room together
just really helps prove they're
not figments of my imagination.
- So, where exactly were you traveling?
- Europe, Amsterdam,
Barcelona, a few places.
- Yeah, and you were studying
at Dalhousie before that,
right?
- Yup.
- Cool, I've always
wanted to visit Halifax.
- You should, it's got a
really great music scene,
lots of history.
- I will, I will.
- And you, you and Delori,
were you friends before
you went there?
- Yeah, we go way back, junior high.
- Whoa, that's cool, that's really cool.
Your relationship's lasted so long,
it's like, I mean, she talks
about you all the time.
- She has a lot to say about you too.
- Good things?
- Hmm, I think she appreciates
your sense of humor.
- She's really funny.
- Yeah?
- I don't know, she makes me laugh a lot.
I really like her.
- What about you?
Traveling, what?
- Traveling, no, I mean, not really,
I mean just a couple
road trips, not too far.
I could never really
afford to go very far.
- What about school, did you
do like a tourism program
or something before betting this job?
- Nope, I went to UBC, did
some random stuff for a while,
and then dropped out, and
then actually got the job
through a friend of mine.
- You went to UBC?
- Yeah, I mean, yeah it
was like six years ago,
didn't last very long.
You didn't go to UBC, did you?
- Yeah, I mean, I started there,
but I transferred to Dal, so.
- Okay, yeah, that might be it.
- What might be it?
- Did you know Luke Sudderbee?
- I did, I went to a few of
his parties in my first year.
- Yeah.
You do look really familiar.
We didn't...
- We did, we totally had sex.
- They seemed a little awkward, I mean,
it's just really hard when people meet and
you have to introduce them
and you've gotta start
conversations, and be the facilitator.
- You're working yourself
up, just let it happen.
- I just, I don't know,
I hate being the center
of attention, it's just way too stressful.
- Better get used to being
the center of attention,
beautiful face like yours.
- I mean, I just, I can't
handle these group settings.
I just think that...
- Honey, there's two people out there.
- Yeah, well that's a company, what is it?
Three is a crowd, three is a crowd.
- Listen, they got one
major thing in common,
your sexy self.
You just gotta unite them around
their mutual love for you.
- How many people did
you have to sleep with
in order to not even recognize me?
- Your hair's all fucking curly now,
you look totally different!
- You're not wearing my vagina beard
and I can still recognize you eventually.
- Eventually, nice.
- Okay, how drunk were you?
- I don't know, I don't remember.
I didn't have a fucking
breathilizer with me.
- This is really bad, this
is really fucking bad,
this is so bad.
- All right, maybe, maybe
it's not the most ideal
circumstances, you know,
but it was six years ago,
and you, I don't even know your last name.
And I barely remember you.
- Ouch.
- I don't think it's a big deal,
I think we should just
come clean right away.
We should just tell her and just fucking,
like just quick lie a
bandaid, just fucking rip it.
- This isn't gonna be like
a fucking bandaid for her,
okay, it's not gonna be a bandaid,
it's gonna be like ripping off a scab and
rubbing dog shit in the wound.
- I just, I just don't feel
comfortable lying to her,
you know what I'm saying?
- I have known her for a very long time
and knowing this would crush her.
So if you actually care about
her like you say you do,
you will not tell her.
- Okay, tell me right now,
are you absolutely certain
that she can't handle it?
- Ryan, don't say anything.
- Time to dance bitches.
Come on!
Shenade, this one is for you.
Come on!
Is there something wrong
with the casserole?
- Nothing, I'm just
saving room for dessert.
- Shenade, I made you a casserole,
you expected me to make
you dessert as well?
- We could go get gelato after,
we can go to that 200 flavor
places, is that still open?
- Uh, yeah, it's just,
you don't wanna go there,
they've got ice crystals in their gelato.
- They also have crazy,
awesome, fun flavors.
I had blue cheese once.
- Why, why would you do that to yourself?
- Ryan, what about you?
What's the weirdest
flavor you've ever had?
- I had wasabi once, it
was awful, I regretted it.
- Ew, you guys are the king and
queen of poor choices, blah.
- I do wanna do something
after dinner though,
I wanna get reacquainted
with all my favorite spots.
- Well, Ryan, we should show
Shenade around this week.
- Yeah, you should totally do that.
- I want you to come with us,
I want you to know my better half.
- Yeah, but you guys have
a lot of catching up to do
and I don't wanna intrude
on best friend time.
- Ryan, it's fine, actually
you and I could get
to know one another.
- Yeah, Delori, I...
I'm getting old, you
know, and so with that,
I just, I'm feeling like I
need to prioritize my time
a little bit, you know.
And my priority, what I
want the most is to get
to know you better,
just you before anyone.
And you know, I just wanna hang
out with just the two of us
for a bit, you know?
- Oh.
You're a dork, you get
to know me so much better
by seeing with Shenade, am I right?
- Mmm hmm, a little off the chain.
- Okay, yeah, I mean,
you're right, you're right.
You are, I mean, part
of getting to know you
is getting to know people
that are important to you.
So, all three of us will hang out.
- Great, I just, you know Shenade,
you and Ryan have something in common,
you both think that I'm great.
And I think that you guys are great,
and I hope that the two of you
think each other are great,
and I'm gonna stop saying great.
- You do kind of sound
like Tony the Tiger, so.
- What I'm trying to say is
that it's just really nice
to have two of my most
favorite people over in
my apartment for dinner, so thank you.
- You're so wonderful, Delori.
- Am I really one of your favorite people?
- Duh.
- You're one of my favorite people too.
- Oh, man, there's just so
much love at this table,
it's like this is how threesomes start.
- No, I could never have
a threesome with you
because you are too hot,
and I would look like
Danny Devito next to you.
- You're like a super
sexy hot Danny Devito.
- In what universe is
there a sexy Danny Devito?
- You guys are both effing ridiculous,
you, oh my god, you guys would
have the cutest children.
- All right, I can't do this.
- What, like what?
- Ryan, don't.
- What are you talking about?
Do you have an STI?
- No, I don't have an STI.
But I do have to tell
you something important.
We have to tell you something important.
Even though it's important,
it's not a big deal, okay?
- Okay.
- We didn't recognize each other at first,
but Shenade and I have
met before at a party,
like around six years ago.
We were really, really drunk,
and we had sex.
And it was a one time thing, Delori,
and it was completely unmemorable,
and I didn't have feelings
for her and I don't now,
and I haven't seen or spoken to her since.
I'm not telling you this to hurt you,
not that it should hurt you,
I'm telling you this because I respect you
and because I care about you.
And because you deserve the truth.
And I never, ever wanna lie to you.
- I just need a few minutes
just to be by myself.
- Do you want to talk about it?
- No, I just need a few
minutes, I'll be right back.
- Okay, if that's what you want,
we'll be right here waiting.
- It's all right, you're special,
you're one in a million.
Honey.
- Fuck, fuck!
Fuck, fuck!
- I think that's what got us into trouble
in the first place.
- She always thought
she couldn't trust me.
- She had her own reasons,
it had nothing to do with you
for her to be.
- No, no, it's not her fault.
- Right, I get it, you
feel lie an asshole,
I feel like an asshole too,
but it's because we care,
we didn't do anything wrong.
- I have done things wrong.
Not to her, but you're
probably not the only girl
I can't remember.
Shenade, I feel like an asshole
because I am an asshole.
- Listen, I get it.
I've fucked around a lot
too and I have hurt people
accidentally, and I'm not proud of it,
but I don't feel guilty about consequences
that I couldn't expect,
and neither should you.
- Okay, you know her
best, tell me what to do.
What do we do, how do we fix it?
- I don't know.
- Come on, what do we say to her?
What does she need to hear?
- We can't change how she feels.
- That's bullshit, we just
gotta convince her that this...
- How we gonna convince her?
She doesn't trust us
because we're the problem!
- What kind of friend are you?
You're not even willing to try
to help her deal with this.
- I'm not gonna sit
here and be lectured by
a pair of balls and dick!
You know what, what do guys
even know about friendship?
What do you do, you help them move,
you get a fucking beer!
You have never wiped the
tears off your friends face,
you've never sat with them for three hours
as they had panic attacks and cry because
the douche bag who cheated
on them fucking posts
a picture of him with a new girlfriend.
So fuck you!
- Delori, I'm so sorry.
- Delori, you know I love you.
And I am so sorry that this happened.
Please don't let it change anything.
- It's okay, I'm okay.
I know that it happened a long time ago
and that it was like a one time thing,
and I understand why you
didn't tell me right away.
But I just need some time to process this,
so I just need you guys to leave.
- I really want us to talk about this.
- I don't want to right now.
- You know those get backed up?
- Mmm hmm, just deal with it later.
Can't have them following me around.
- I know it hurts right now,
but you don't have to do this.
You can face this, you
can get through this.
- No, I can't.
- Yes, you can.
- No, I can't!
We can't all be fierce.
- Hey.
- Ryan, I told you I needed time,
I really wish you hadn't come by.
- I know, I know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I wanna give you your space,
I'm just, I'm worried about you.
And I really need to talk.
Are you sure you're okay
because you don't seem okay?
Are you really not gonna say anything?
Are you just planning on
ignoring me for long enough
that I give up and go away?
- I don't know what you mean.
- Look, I know, I know
that this kind of thing
really bothers you, I feel
like I can guess as to why.
All I can say is that I'm
sorry that you had to deal with
that because you really don't deserve it.
And I'm sorry that my
shit gets in the way too,
that my personal shit makes
the situation even worse,
you know?
I'm so sorry about that!
But we have something really good,
and I don't want you to throw it away.
I wanna fight for it,
I wanna do anything that
I can to hold onto it.
- I'm sorry, Ryan, but
I don't think that we
can hang out anymore.
- No, listen to me!
Delori, please, just help
me, help me understand you.
Just help me see why it's such a big deal
that we can't get past it,
that we can't just work on it.
- You know when we're lying
in our bed, or my bed,
or whoever's bed, and we're just kissing
and we're cuddling, we're
staring in each others eyes
and it's intimate, and beautiful?
In those moments, I am so scared of you.
I am so scared that you're
just gonna open your mouth
and say something that
will absolutely destroy me.
And when you text me,
and when you call me,
I panic because I just
imagine opening it and seeing
some horrible message, or
that you're just dumping me.
And when you're not with me,
I imagine that you just
don't even miss me,
you don't even miss me.
And when we are together,
it's fake, it's not real.
I just imagine you going
out and finding someone
to replace me so easily,
and now I can actually
visualize that person,
and it's my best friend
in the whole entire world
who's amazing and brilliant, who I love,
but I have always felt
this big in comparison.
And it's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
But this is just too shitty to constantly
anticipate what you're gonna
say and what you're gonna do.
I just want to enjoy a
moment like everybody else,
but I don't, I'm sorry.
- Listen, Delori, if I had
met you before Shenade,
before any other girl I've ever met,
I would never have gone
looking for anyone else.
And I am not any other
person you've ever been with.
I'm not!
How can I convince you?
- You can't.
- Come on.
Delori, listen, listen,
I will never, ever hurt you.
Okay, listen to me, listen
to me, I love you, okay?
I will never hurt you,
don't you believe me?
- No, I don't.
- How did it go?
- Well, I called her out for ignoring me,
I told her how I feel and
I told her we could work
through this, I mean, she trust me.
- Coffee, man.
And did you guys wanna do some food?
- I think we're good.
- Okay.
- I told her that I loved her.
- Were you telling the truth?
- For the first time in my
life, it was actually true.
For the first time in my life,
it wasn't very persuasive.
- I'm really sorry, Ryan.
- It's okay, it just means it's your turn.
- Yeah, I know.
- Have you heard anything from her?
- No, nothing.
You know, you just, you
can't tell her anything.
It's like she just keeps
everything so deep in
that big fucking heart of
hers, and it doesn't matter
how many times you tell
her that you adore her,
that I adore her, she just...
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
She's just so sensitive.
- She is.
Shenade, I really don't wanna lose her.
- Yeah, neither do I.
- I suck at everything.
- That's the spirit.
- I'm gonna try again.
All right.
Shenade, I don't wanna see you right now.
- Delori, I'm sorry, but we need to talk.
- I really can't.
Is that a pool noodle?
- Yeah, I was babysitting
at my aunts house,
and I thought it would come in handy.
Hey!
Hey, stop!
Come on, okay, what's a
little carnal knowledge
between two best friends?
- Go away.
- Delori, you can't just ignore
me and expect me to go away.
All right, we're bajango sisters,
so many girlfriends are,
and it could actually be
to our betterment.
We could have a stronger
friendship because now
we can swap stories about his balls.
- Are you fucking kidding me right now?
- You know you are
completely overreacting.
- Yeah Shenade, my feelings
are completely illegitimate.
Now go away!
- Don't be stupid, no one
said you're not entitled
to be embarrassed or
hurt, or pissed off, okay?
But you know that feeling
that way is irrational
because it didn't mean anything,
what happened between me and Ryan.
It doesn't mean that what you
have with him isn't special,
it doesn't mean that he prefers me to you,
it doesn't mean that you can't trust him,
and it doesn't mean that
I am better than you.
Okay, it only means those
things if you decide it does.
- I should've known, Shenade.
I should've known that you
have fucked so many people
that one day it would turn
out to be somebody important.
- Okay, you're angry at me, fine.
But I'm gonna take you out,
and we are actually going
to do something to fix this.
- I'm not going anywhere with you.
- Delori, I am not gonna let
you destroy our friendship
and wallow in your apartment
eating fucking Oreos.
- Yeah, well what are
you gonna do about it,
you curly haired munchkin?
- Get in the car!
Get in the car, get in the car!
I'm watching you, stay put!
Hey, don't!
I swear to god, if you touch that handle,
I will rip out every hair
on your pretty little head.
- I like this white girl, she's got spunk.
- You shouldn't text and drive.
Where are we even going?
- I'll tell you when we get there.
- It's not like it matters anyways.
- Can't you see how hard she's trying?
Putting up with your attitude,
all this is for you, for your friendship.
Doesn't that mean anything to you?
- You know I'm frustrated
with you for doing
this to yourself, for
being willing to throw away
two good relationships in
your life over something
so insignificant.
But I'm really hurt that
you would do this to me.
That you would consider cutting me lose
and never seeing me again,
because you're my best friend,
and I can't imagine anything
worse than losing you.
And it sucks to know that
you don't feel the same way.
No, no, no!
Okay, we're here.
- Why are we here?
Why are, I don't
even like this neighborhood,
this is dumb, I just wanna go home.
- Okay, okay!
Okay, you know what, I'm
gonna tell you something
that I have been keeping
from you for a long time.
- Let me guess, you fucked my dad.
- Okay, can you just stop being
an asshole for one second?
All right, so remember
the dick that got away,
my friendly ghost Casper?
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay, well while we were dating,
there was this one time that
he slept over at my house,
and in the night I woke up,
and I heard him say
your name in his sleep.
- Blah.
- I know, and it wrecked me.
- And I just, I liked him so much,
and I had liked him more
than I had liked anyone
in a really long time, and the
fact that he said your name
just confirmed everything
that I was afraid of,
that he was into you.
And I just went kind of crazy, I just,
I kept thinking about you guys.
I kept thinking about
him leaving me for you,
I kept thinking about
like you guys conspiring
to fornicate behind my back,
and it just, it just overcame
me and I felt so pathetic,
and it was constant, and
the worst part was that it
wasn't safe to tell my best friend.
- Shenade, I don't know
why you would ever feel
threatened by me.
- I know, it doesn't make sense,
but that's how I felt.
Delori, you're not the only
one who feels like they
don't measure up to their
best friend all the time.
- Okay, so then why are
you telling me this here,
at this bar?
- Because Casper is in this bar.
And I think that in order for
us to get back on even ground,
for you to feel like you
got back whatever you think
I took from you, that
you need to go in there
and hit that.
- What, no!
- Okay, well then just it then.
- No, Shenade, no, come on.
- I know that you are angry at me,
you feel vulnerable, you want validation,
and you wanna get back at Ryan,
so why don't we just kill
all those birds with one
hot make out session?
- Shenade, I appreciate that
you're trying to fix things,
but this, this is really stupid.
I am not gonna have
sex with your long lost
summer love Casper.
- Stupid, oh my god, do you
know what's good for you?
- Not always.
- Are you willing to
do anything else to try
to save our friendship?
- No.
- All right, well I'm not
willing to just sit around
and do nothing, so until you
come up with your grown up,
responsible plan, we're
gonna do my stupid plan!
So why don't you get in
there and get that sweet D.
- But I don't wanna have to
buy you drinks every time
every time something
good happens at work.
I want you.
- I work at G Nelson.
- It stands out, right.
- Delori, hello.
- Oh, hey Casper, fancy seeing you here.
- I haven't seen you in ages.
Where have you been hiding?
- Oh, you know, around.
- Well it's good seeing you.
- Hey, what are you doing,
are you here with anyone?
- No, no, I just came here
to drink all by myself.
- You can drink with us if you want, yeah?
- Yeah, definitely.
- We're celebrating Cameron's new job.
- Congrats.
- I got a new job.
- It's a big deal.
Sorry, where are my manners?
Cameron, Delori.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- So what are you drinking?
- A beer, but maybe you
could buy me another one.
- You should probably finish
that one first though, right?
- Good advice.
Casper, what have you been doing lately,
other than working out?
- Well, I'm getting my degree
this year, completing that.
I took a year off to do
some volunteering in Haiti.
- Wow, that is so interesting
and very upstanding of you.
- Thank you, it's just,
honestly it's just really,
really meaningful work.
- What were you studying?
- I'm getting a degree in urban planning.
UBC actually has one of the most
programs in the world.
- Wow, that
must have been really
tough to get through.
- I enjoy the challenge, I find I excel
in those kind of environments, so.
- So that's what you've
been doing lately, Casper?
- That's what I've been
doing lately, Delori.
- So who have you been
doing lately, Casper?
- I'm sorry...
- I'm just curious, but
you know, a little munchkin
told me a secret.
- Yeah, what was that.
- That you used to have a crush on me.
- Is that so?
- Yeah, don't be shy about
it, I think it's pretty neat.
- Who said I was shy, I'm not
even saying that it's true.
- I think it's great if it were true,
because I think that you're great,
and you're pretty well
dressed, and great overall.
- I dress myself.
- Do you undress yourself?
- Okay, excuse me, what are you doing?
- Seducing you, OBVs.
- Delori, I'm gonna be honest,
I find it really unattractive when girls...
- Casper, what the hell is wrong with you?
She's practically giving it away,
why don't you wanna hit that?
- Delori, what's going on here?
I'm sorry, do I know you?
- Are you freaking serious?
We dated for four months.
- Shenade, I'm sorry, look,
I didn't recognize you
with the curly hair.
- Oh my god, do I really
look that different
with curly hair?
- No, you look terrific.
- Okay Shenade, what's going on here.
Did you set this up?
- We spent every other day
together for four months,
I would remember you if
you had Renee Zellweger's
plastic surgeon.
- Look, I don't know
what you want me to say,
and I still wanna know why your friend
is trying to get into my pants.
- Wait a minute, did you not recognize me,
or did you not remember me?
- Look, it took me a
second to recognize you
because it's been a long time.
- Oh my god.
- All right Shenade,
I didn't remember you,
it took me a half second.
Please don't take it personally,
it's just, it's been a really long time.
I mean, a lot has
happened, a lot has changed
since you and I were together,
and I'm sorry, you just
haven't been on the forefront
of my mind lately.
- But...
- What?
- Casper, I still think about you.
- That's okay.
Shenade, look, I remember you,
and I remember you fondly,
we had a great time together.
But in the end it was just four months,
what 2/5 of the decade ago.
I mean, I'm sorry...
- Just stop!
Fuck.
- Way to ruin Cameron's night.
- That hasn't been proven yet, has it?
- Shenade?
- I'm just so embarrassed.
- No, don't be.
- I'm sorry, this was
supposed to be about you
and I just...
- Don't worry about it.
- I just feel so stupid.
- You are amazing and
extraordinary in a million ways,
and I've cherished every moment
we have ever had together.
- Thanks, Delori.
- Any guy who doesn't see that,
doesn't deserve to be with you.
- Yeah, I know.
I'll be okay.
Fuck it, let's go get some gelato.
- What?
- I'm sitting outside a bar crying,
I feel like I'm 19, and I
wanna go get some gelato.
- I don't understand.
I don't understand how,
how you can just pull
yourself together and
get up and leave after going
through something like that.
- I'm not stronger than you,
I don't have anything that you don't have.
- It sure seems like you do.
- I just don't let other
people make me feel small
because I know that I'm not.
- Delori, do you know why
this thing with Ryan upsets
you so much?
Why you were ready to throw
away our friendship over it?
It's not because someone else
doesn't think that you're
special, doesn't think
that you're lovable.
It's because you don't think you are.
And it breaks my heart
because I, I wanna show you,
and I wanna tell you.
But you need to believe it for yourself.
It's okay, I still love
that big, huge heart
even though it's sensitive.
- This week?
- That would be nice.
- You wanna do brunch?
- Oh my god, I would love to
do brunch, I just love brunch.
Like I could definitely do
brunch, it's my favorite.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- It's a date.
Bye bye.
- Bye.
- If you're looking for a
strong confident fearless woman,
enough staring at that poster and
start looking in the mirror.
- I really wish I could
see myself that way.
- You know I wasn't born fierce,
I chose to define myself that way.
I decide who I am each and everyday.
Don't let yourself be defeated.
You can choose to, you can be fierce.
- I am fierce.
Hi.
- Hi.
- I tried to make out
with someone tonight,
I didn't want to though.
- It's okay, I figured you and Shenade
would be up to something crazy.
- I came by to tell you
that I also wanna do
whatever it takes to hang onto you.
And like, well, literally
because you're a great hugger
and you're really tall,
but also like less literally.
I just don't think this
is gonna be easy for me,
and I really can't imagine
it being any easier for you.
I'm gonna need a lot of reassurance,
a lot of honesty, and I'm
gonna be unreasonable,
like really unreasonable...
- it's not a burden for me.
I'm always gonna be here
to look out for you.
- I really care about you.
I just don't think I can say
I love you back right now,
but I think that I can, is that okay?
- Look, I don't need you
to love me right away.
But I do need you to trust me.
- I can't promise not to be scared,
but I do promise to be courageous.
- How you doin' over there?
I love you.
You are so beautiful.
And you're really funny.
And you're completely cool, you know that?
- Baby, I know.
I like your shoulders?
- Thanks, they attach my arms to my torso.
- Yeah, they do.
What, what are you doing?
- Um, nothing, I'm just...
- Wiping the walls?
- No, I was trying to set the mood
by turning off the lights.
- No, no, no, you can't
turn off the lights,
you gotta leave it on, I wanna see you.
- Why?
- Because I need the
full sensory experience.
- No, that's so dumb.
- No, no.
Don't you wanna see the rest of my tattoo?
- The V-necks you wear
are all ready so low,
I'm pretty sure I've seen the whole thing.
- I love it when you sass me, Delori.
- Please don't say my name
when we're fooling around.
- Why?
- Because it's the least
sexiest pronoun in the world.
I'm tired.
You should go, I don't
want you to fall asleep
at the wheel and die.
- It's cold out there.
- Put your clothes on first OBVs.
- Can I stay here?
- That's a possibility.
- It would be nice, don't you think?
- I don't know.
I didn't really think about it.
- Don't send me out there in the cold.
I feel so used and abused.
- Okay.
Just don't look.
- I thought you were tired.
- I am, but I need to
do something to unwind
and it's either this
or binge watch episodes
of The Mindy Project, and
I thought this would be
quieter for you.
- So thoughtful.
How long have you been up?
- Um, just a few minutes.
- I was looking forward
to waking up together.
- Morning breath.
- Morning breath is
part of the experience.
So what are you doing today?
- Just work, then I'm gonna call Shenade
and find out what time her flight gets in.
- Oh yeah, she gets in tomorrow, right?
- Mmm hmm, I know, I can't wait.
I can't wait to see her,
it's gonna be so exciting.
- I'm excited to meet her.
I tried to creep her on Facebook actually,
but couldn't find her.
- Yeah, she's not on Facebook.
- Whoa, rebel.
- Yeah.
Do you want any like milk or sugar?
- No, tell me more about Shenade.
- She's like Ernest
Hemingway with a vagina.
- Nice, what else?
- She's like confident,
and amazing, and talented,
and smart, resilient, and tough, and,
she's like a total babe.
- I can't wait to meet her.
Make sure you text me
about those dinner plans.
- Yeah.
- Because you know I'll forget.
- What about you, what
are you doing today?
You're meeting your ex, aren't you?
- Yeah, eventually.
- Where you guys going?
- We're going to, we're
gonna to the Storm Crow.
- Oh, I really like that place.
I'm really glad that
you introduced me to it.
- Yeah, yeah, me too, I mean,
it's one of her favorite places too.
So since she's only in
town for a little while,
I guess she wants to maximize her time.
- Yeah, did you guys go there a lot?
- Yeah, a fair bit, she
knew one of the servers.
- Are you guys going
for food, like dinner?
- No, no, I don't think so.
I think it's just drinks or couple beers,
just something chill like that.
- That will be good,
that will be like cool,
just hanging out and having beers.
- It will be fine, it's
just to like mend fences
and maybe catch up a
little bit or whatever,
but that's it.
It's good though because
I hate being on bad terms
with any of my exes.
- Mmm hmm.
- It's the worst.
- You're all right.
You've got nothing to worry about.
You're irreplaceable.
- Hey, hey, thank you
so much for last night,
for letting me stay and like everything.
I had such a good time.
- Yeah, it's fine, you
don't have to thank me.
I also thought it was pretty great.
- I really like you, Delori.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Yeah, no, I know the form
you're talking about.
Yeah, you'd, both sides, yeah,
and then sign it at the bottom.
No, no, I'm not saying our
fax machine doesn't work,
yeah, we have a fax machine.
Yes, I will call you and let
you know when we have it.
You're welcome, bye.
- Honey.
That's not gonna make you feel better.
- I am pathetic.
- Nothing about you is pathetic,
you just got some bad habits.
- I just can't stop thinking
about all these horrible
things that are happening.
- Listen, that scrawny white
boy wouldn't do anything
to jeopardize his chances
at getting another taste.
You feel me?
- You say that, but he's
had a lot of girlfriends.
- So, he'll be able to appreciate
you more in comparison.
- I'm not like you, people don't regret it
when they leave me.
I also don't get to
write a pop song about it
and rub it in their face.
- I'm sure you've broken
more hearts than you know.
- I just, I didn't see
it coming the last time.
- Yeah, well, I knew that one was trouble
the moment he walked in.
- Yeah, but you can't always
know it though, right?
- No, you can't.
But it doesn't matter, no
horrible thing could ever
bring you down, you're tough.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Call your girlfriend.
- Hi.
- Hey, let me see your face?
- Oh.
- Hey,.
- What up, slut?
- I get to see you tomorrow!
- I know, I can't wait, I'm so excited.
Do you need me to pick
you up from the airport?
- Yes, please.
- And you are still packing.
- I'm almost finished packing, actually.
- Are you used to
sleeping in airports yet?
- No, that is not my
favorite part of traveling.
- Well at least you have traveled,
I mean, you're so worldly.
- You know what, you will
travel, we will travel.
- I know, I know.
I guess I've just been
getting antsy because
I've working in an office for a year,
and you've been trotting
the globe like a horse
with a freaking fire card.
- Well I have been giving
my fair share of rides.
- Ooh, giddy up.
So, what's your last week been like?
- It's been okay, I've been a
little nervous about leaving,
you know, just like uprooting myself,
but I'm just not letting it bother me.
- Makes sense, I mean,
leaving everyone behind,
I'd be pretty crushed.
- Go to bed sweetie, what
are you even doing up?
- Just hanging out, waiting
to talk to your babely self.
- And?
- I looked at some stuff on the internet
and made myself feel like crap.
- Delori, are you okay?
- It's just gonna be really
good to have you back, Shenade.
- I have missed you so much, my love.
I'm so glad that we're gonna be living
in the same city again!
- Hello!
- Yo, girl!
- Ah, you're here!
I'm so excited, I was
so scared you were gonna
get on a different flight at Pearson
that I called the passport
office and told them
that you were their first born.
- That makes sense.
I was wondering why they took my vibrator.
Guess they didn't want me to
blow up a plane, fair enough.
Then I kind of got my
attention caught by something
in the corner of my eye so
I turned to see what it was
and the guy next to me had his dick out.
- What?
- Yeah, like fully out, on
the bus, fucking masturbating.
Honestly, I was like scared,
like how do you handle
this kind of situation?
I've never been around this before.
Like obviously looking back on it,
I had nothing to worry about,
I wasn't in like real danger,
but it's really freaky.
- I mean, yeah.
- That was probably like the weirdest,
maybe even worst moment.
- Like that's the kind of stuff
that would scar me for life.
That's the kind of stuff
that just makes me so nervous
about traveling, I don't wanna do it.
- Honestly, if I let
every weirdo and asshole
scar me for life, my whole
body and soul would look
like Seal's face.
You just get over it.
- Well, what do you wanna
do now that you're back?
- Okay, I know this will
probably sound kind of crazy
coming from me, but I
feel like I might be ready
to settle down and start my real life.
- Like get pregnant?
- No, no, not, no.
I mean like get a steady
job and save some money
and maybe do some volunteer
work, or read a book
just because.
Have like a real relationship,
and be a better friend.
- Okay, you're a great friend,
but if you ever leave me again,
I'm gonna hunt you down
and I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna have you embalmed.
- So you can
have me around forever.
- No, so I can touch your
stupid face whenever I want.
- What the fuck, hey!
- No, you cannot do that
to me while I'm driving,
I almost hit that guy.
Speaking of relationships,
now that you're back,
do you think you're gonna
try and ignite an old flame?
You know, like see what that
friendly ghost is up to?
- Casper, um, I don't know, I mean,
I haven't talked to him since I left,
so I don't even know what
he's up to these days.
You haven't talked to
him at all, have you?
- Nope.
- I mean, I think it would
be nice to see him again,
but I also think it
could be really awkward.
I mean, there's just so
many unresolved feelings.
- Ugh, feelings.
- Would you believe that I
still talk him online a bit,
like a little bit, like
once every two weeks.
- Of like all the wieners.
- I know, I know, of all the dicks,
he's the one that got away.
You know what, I cannot wait to get home,
have a shower, get this plane off of me,
and then we can start
talking about tonight.
- We're gonna like tear it up,
we're gonna like party and stuff.
- And am I gonna get to meet
your new piece of man meat
tonight too?
- Uh, yes.
- I am so excited.
Whoa, sexy moves.
- Thanks, I've picked up a few.
- What about the food,.
- Tonight is the casserole,
you put in the oven
and it heats.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Sounds like a dance party in here.
- Well hello studly do me right.
- Hello, listen, I know how
much you love boxed wine
but let me introduce you to...
- Ha, bottle wine.
- Hello.
- How fancy.
- Right?
- Shenade, this is my best
friend in the whole entire world,
Shenade.
- Hey, Ryan.
- Shenade.
- She just got back from
this crazy adventure
traveling to all these crazy places.
She's amazing, she's super smart,
and she's a total sexy man eater OBVs.
- OBVs, for sure.
- Oh, and he takes people
around Wisser on tours,
and he makes really good sandwiches,
and he has some pretty neat tattoos.
- I do.
- I'm gonna have to try
one of those sandwiches.
- You like reuben's?
- Sure.
- This is so exciting
that you guys are actually
in the same room together, oh my gosh!
I have to go pee, but
you guys keep chatting
and I'll be back.
- I'll get some glasses.
- Yeah.
- Hey, how's it going out there?
- Great.
It's just really hard to
believe that people actually
like me so to have them
in the same room together
just really helps prove they're
not figments of my imagination.
- So, where exactly were you traveling?
- Europe, Amsterdam,
Barcelona, a few places.
- Yeah, and you were studying
at Dalhousie before that,
right?
- Yup.
- Cool, I've always
wanted to visit Halifax.
- You should, it's got a
really great music scene,
lots of history.
- I will, I will.
- And you, you and Delori,
were you friends before
you went there?
- Yeah, we go way back, junior high.
- Whoa, that's cool, that's really cool.
Your relationship's lasted so long,
it's like, I mean, she talks
about you all the time.
- She has a lot to say about you too.
- Good things?
- Hmm, I think she appreciates
your sense of humor.
- She's really funny.
- Yeah?
- I don't know, she makes me laugh a lot.
I really like her.
- What about you?
Traveling, what?
- Traveling, no, I mean, not really,
I mean just a couple
road trips, not too far.
I could never really
afford to go very far.
- What about school, did you
do like a tourism program
or something before betting this job?
- Nope, I went to UBC, did
some random stuff for a while,
and then dropped out, and
then actually got the job
through a friend of mine.
- You went to UBC?
- Yeah, I mean, yeah it
was like six years ago,
didn't last very long.
You didn't go to UBC, did you?
- Yeah, I mean, I started there,
but I transferred to Dal, so.
- Okay, yeah, that might be it.
- What might be it?
- Did you know Luke Sudderbee?
- I did, I went to a few of
his parties in my first year.
- Yeah.
You do look really familiar.
We didn't...
- We did, we totally had sex.
- They seemed a little awkward, I mean,
it's just really hard when people meet and
you have to introduce them
and you've gotta start
conversations, and be the facilitator.
- You're working yourself
up, just let it happen.
- I just, I don't know,
I hate being the center
of attention, it's just way too stressful.
- Better get used to being
the center of attention,
beautiful face like yours.
- I mean, I just, I can't
handle these group settings.
I just think that...
- Honey, there's two people out there.
- Yeah, well that's a company, what is it?
Three is a crowd, three is a crowd.
- Listen, they got one
major thing in common,
your sexy self.
You just gotta unite them around
their mutual love for you.
- How many people did
you have to sleep with
in order to not even recognize me?
- Your hair's all fucking curly now,
you look totally different!
- You're not wearing my vagina beard
and I can still recognize you eventually.
- Eventually, nice.
- Okay, how drunk were you?
- I don't know, I don't remember.
I didn't have a fucking
breathilizer with me.
- This is really bad, this
is really fucking bad,
this is so bad.
- All right, maybe, maybe
it's not the most ideal
circumstances, you know,
but it was six years ago,
and you, I don't even know your last name.
And I barely remember you.
- Ouch.
- I don't think it's a big deal,
I think we should just
come clean right away.
We should just tell her and just fucking,
like just quick lie a
bandaid, just fucking rip it.
- This isn't gonna be like
a fucking bandaid for her,
okay, it's not gonna be a bandaid,
it's gonna be like ripping off a scab and
rubbing dog shit in the wound.
- I just, I just don't feel
comfortable lying to her,
you know what I'm saying?
- I have known her for a very long time
and knowing this would crush her.
So if you actually care about
her like you say you do,
you will not tell her.
- Okay, tell me right now,
are you absolutely certain
that she can't handle it?
- Ryan, don't say anything.
- Time to dance bitches.
Come on!
Shenade, this one is for you.
Come on!
Is there something wrong
with the casserole?
- Nothing, I'm just
saving room for dessert.
- Shenade, I made you a casserole,
you expected me to make
you dessert as well?
- We could go get gelato after,
we can go to that 200 flavor
places, is that still open?
- Uh, yeah, it's just,
you don't wanna go there,
they've got ice crystals in their gelato.
- They also have crazy,
awesome, fun flavors.
I had blue cheese once.
- Why, why would you do that to yourself?
- Ryan, what about you?
What's the weirdest
flavor you've ever had?
- I had wasabi once, it
was awful, I regretted it.
- Ew, you guys are the king and
queen of poor choices, blah.
- I do wanna do something
after dinner though,
I wanna get reacquainted
with all my favorite spots.
- Well, Ryan, we should show
Shenade around this week.
- Yeah, you should totally do that.
- I want you to come with us,
I want you to know my better half.
- Yeah, but you guys have
a lot of catching up to do
and I don't wanna intrude
on best friend time.
- Ryan, it's fine, actually
you and I could get
to know one another.
- Yeah, Delori, I...
I'm getting old, you
know, and so with that,
I just, I'm feeling like I
need to prioritize my time
a little bit, you know.
And my priority, what I
want the most is to get
to know you better,
just you before anyone.
And you know, I just wanna hang
out with just the two of us
for a bit, you know?
- Oh.
You're a dork, you get
to know me so much better
by seeing with Shenade, am I right?
- Mmm hmm, a little off the chain.
- Okay, yeah, I mean,
you're right, you're right.
You are, I mean, part
of getting to know you
is getting to know people
that are important to you.
So, all three of us will hang out.
- Great, I just, you know Shenade,
you and Ryan have something in common,
you both think that I'm great.
And I think that you guys are great,
and I hope that the two of you
think each other are great,
and I'm gonna stop saying great.
- You do kind of sound
like Tony the Tiger, so.
- What I'm trying to say is
that it's just really nice
to have two of my most
favorite people over in
my apartment for dinner, so thank you.
- You're so wonderful, Delori.
- Am I really one of your favorite people?
- Duh.
- You're one of my favorite people too.
- Oh, man, there's just so
much love at this table,
it's like this is how threesomes start.
- No, I could never have
a threesome with you
because you are too hot,
and I would look like
Danny Devito next to you.
- You're like a super
sexy hot Danny Devito.
- In what universe is
there a sexy Danny Devito?
- You guys are both effing ridiculous,
you, oh my god, you guys would
have the cutest children.
- All right, I can't do this.
- What, like what?
- Ryan, don't.
- What are you talking about?
Do you have an STI?
- No, I don't have an STI.
But I do have to tell
you something important.
We have to tell you something important.
Even though it's important,
it's not a big deal, okay?
- Okay.
- We didn't recognize each other at first,
but Shenade and I have
met before at a party,
like around six years ago.
We were really, really drunk,
and we had sex.
And it was a one time thing, Delori,
and it was completely unmemorable,
and I didn't have feelings
for her and I don't now,
and I haven't seen or spoken to her since.
I'm not telling you this to hurt you,
not that it should hurt you,
I'm telling you this because I respect you
and because I care about you.
And because you deserve the truth.
And I never, ever wanna lie to you.
- I just need a few minutes
just to be by myself.
- Do you want to talk about it?
- No, I just need a few
minutes, I'll be right back.
- Okay, if that's what you want,
we'll be right here waiting.
- It's all right, you're special,
you're one in a million.
Honey.
- Fuck, fuck!
Fuck, fuck!
- I think that's what got us into trouble
in the first place.
- She always thought
she couldn't trust me.
- She had her own reasons,
it had nothing to do with you
for her to be.
- No, no, it's not her fault.
- Right, I get it, you
feel lie an asshole,
I feel like an asshole too,
but it's because we care,
we didn't do anything wrong.
- I have done things wrong.
Not to her, but you're
probably not the only girl
I can't remember.
Shenade, I feel like an asshole
because I am an asshole.
- Listen, I get it.
I've fucked around a lot
too and I have hurt people
accidentally, and I'm not proud of it,
but I don't feel guilty about consequences
that I couldn't expect,
and neither should you.
- Okay, you know her
best, tell me what to do.
What do we do, how do we fix it?
- I don't know.
- Come on, what do we say to her?
What does she need to hear?
- We can't change how she feels.
- That's bullshit, we just
gotta convince her that this...
- How we gonna convince her?
She doesn't trust us
because we're the problem!
- What kind of friend are you?
You're not even willing to try
to help her deal with this.
- I'm not gonna sit
here and be lectured by
a pair of balls and dick!
You know what, what do guys
even know about friendship?
What do you do, you help them move,
you get a fucking beer!
You have never wiped the
tears off your friends face,
you've never sat with them for three hours
as they had panic attacks and cry because
the douche bag who cheated
on them fucking posts
a picture of him with a new girlfriend.
So fuck you!
- Delori, I'm so sorry.
- Delori, you know I love you.
And I am so sorry that this happened.
Please don't let it change anything.
- It's okay, I'm okay.
I know that it happened a long time ago
and that it was like a one time thing,
and I understand why you
didn't tell me right away.
But I just need some time to process this,
so I just need you guys to leave.
- I really want us to talk about this.
- I don't want to right now.
- You know those get backed up?
- Mmm hmm, just deal with it later.
Can't have them following me around.
- I know it hurts right now,
but you don't have to do this.
You can face this, you
can get through this.
- No, I can't.
- Yes, you can.
- No, I can't!
We can't all be fierce.
- Hey.
- Ryan, I told you I needed time,
I really wish you hadn't come by.
- I know, I know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I wanna give you your space,
I'm just, I'm worried about you.
And I really need to talk.
Are you sure you're okay
because you don't seem okay?
Are you really not gonna say anything?
Are you just planning on
ignoring me for long enough
that I give up and go away?
- I don't know what you mean.
- Look, I know, I know
that this kind of thing
really bothers you, I feel
like I can guess as to why.
All I can say is that I'm
sorry that you had to deal with
that because you really don't deserve it.
And I'm sorry that my
shit gets in the way too,
that my personal shit makes
the situation even worse,
you know?
I'm so sorry about that!
But we have something really good,
and I don't want you to throw it away.
I wanna fight for it,
I wanna do anything that
I can to hold onto it.
- I'm sorry, Ryan, but
I don't think that we
can hang out anymore.
- No, listen to me!
Delori, please, just help
me, help me understand you.
Just help me see why it's such a big deal
that we can't get past it,
that we can't just work on it.
- You know when we're lying
in our bed, or my bed,
or whoever's bed, and we're just kissing
and we're cuddling, we're
staring in each others eyes
and it's intimate, and beautiful?
In those moments, I am so scared of you.
I am so scared that you're
just gonna open your mouth
and say something that
will absolutely destroy me.
And when you text me,
and when you call me,
I panic because I just
imagine opening it and seeing
some horrible message, or
that you're just dumping me.
And when you're not with me,
I imagine that you just
don't even miss me,
you don't even miss me.
And when we are together,
it's fake, it's not real.
I just imagine you going
out and finding someone
to replace me so easily,
and now I can actually
visualize that person,
and it's my best friend
in the whole entire world
who's amazing and brilliant, who I love,
but I have always felt
this big in comparison.
And it's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
But this is just too shitty to constantly
anticipate what you're gonna
say and what you're gonna do.
I just want to enjoy a
moment like everybody else,
but I don't, I'm sorry.
- Listen, Delori, if I had
met you before Shenade,
before any other girl I've ever met,
I would never have gone
looking for anyone else.
And I am not any other
person you've ever been with.
I'm not!
How can I convince you?
- You can't.
- Come on.
Delori, listen, listen,
I will never, ever hurt you.
Okay, listen to me, listen
to me, I love you, okay?
I will never hurt you,
don't you believe me?
- No, I don't.
- How did it go?
- Well, I called her out for ignoring me,
I told her how I feel and
I told her we could work
through this, I mean, she trust me.
- Coffee, man.
And did you guys wanna do some food?
- I think we're good.
- Okay.
- I told her that I loved her.
- Were you telling the truth?
- For the first time in my
life, it was actually true.
For the first time in my life,
it wasn't very persuasive.
- I'm really sorry, Ryan.
- It's okay, it just means it's your turn.
- Yeah, I know.
- Have you heard anything from her?
- No, nothing.
You know, you just, you
can't tell her anything.
It's like she just keeps
everything so deep in
that big fucking heart of
hers, and it doesn't matter
how many times you tell
her that you adore her,
that I adore her, she just...
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
She's just so sensitive.
- She is.
Shenade, I really don't wanna lose her.
- Yeah, neither do I.
- I suck at everything.
- That's the spirit.
- I'm gonna try again.
All right.
Shenade, I don't wanna see you right now.
- Delori, I'm sorry, but we need to talk.
- I really can't.
Is that a pool noodle?
- Yeah, I was babysitting
at my aunts house,
and I thought it would come in handy.
Hey!
Hey, stop!
Come on, okay, what's a
little carnal knowledge
between two best friends?
- Go away.
- Delori, you can't just ignore
me and expect me to go away.
All right, we're bajango sisters,
so many girlfriends are,
and it could actually be
to our betterment.
We could have a stronger
friendship because now
we can swap stories about his balls.
- Are you fucking kidding me right now?
- You know you are
completely overreacting.
- Yeah Shenade, my feelings
are completely illegitimate.
Now go away!
- Don't be stupid, no one
said you're not entitled
to be embarrassed or
hurt, or pissed off, okay?
But you know that feeling
that way is irrational
because it didn't mean anything,
what happened between me and Ryan.
It doesn't mean that what you
have with him isn't special,
it doesn't mean that he prefers me to you,
it doesn't mean that you can't trust him,
and it doesn't mean that
I am better than you.
Okay, it only means those
things if you decide it does.
- I should've known, Shenade.
I should've known that you
have fucked so many people
that one day it would turn
out to be somebody important.
- Okay, you're angry at me, fine.
But I'm gonna take you out,
and we are actually going
to do something to fix this.
- I'm not going anywhere with you.
- Delori, I am not gonna let
you destroy our friendship
and wallow in your apartment
eating fucking Oreos.
- Yeah, well what are
you gonna do about it,
you curly haired munchkin?
- Get in the car!
Get in the car, get in the car!
I'm watching you, stay put!
Hey, don't!
I swear to god, if you touch that handle,
I will rip out every hair
on your pretty little head.
- I like this white girl, she's got spunk.
- You shouldn't text and drive.
Where are we even going?
- I'll tell you when we get there.
- It's not like it matters anyways.
- Can't you see how hard she's trying?
Putting up with your attitude,
all this is for you, for your friendship.
Doesn't that mean anything to you?
- You know I'm frustrated
with you for doing
this to yourself, for
being willing to throw away
two good relationships in
your life over something
so insignificant.
But I'm really hurt that
you would do this to me.
That you would consider cutting me lose
and never seeing me again,
because you're my best friend,
and I can't imagine anything
worse than losing you.
And it sucks to know that
you don't feel the same way.
No, no, no!
Okay, we're here.
- Why are we here?
Why are, I don't
even like this neighborhood,
this is dumb, I just wanna go home.
- Okay, okay!
Okay, you know what, I'm
gonna tell you something
that I have been keeping
from you for a long time.
- Let me guess, you fucked my dad.
- Okay, can you just stop being
an asshole for one second?
All right, so remember
the dick that got away,
my friendly ghost Casper?
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay, well while we were dating,
there was this one time that
he slept over at my house,
and in the night I woke up,
and I heard him say
your name in his sleep.
- Blah.
- I know, and it wrecked me.
- And I just, I liked him so much,
and I had liked him more
than I had liked anyone
in a really long time, and the
fact that he said your name
just confirmed everything
that I was afraid of,
that he was into you.
And I just went kind of crazy, I just,
I kept thinking about you guys.
I kept thinking about
him leaving me for you,
I kept thinking about
like you guys conspiring
to fornicate behind my back,
and it just, it just overcame
me and I felt so pathetic,
and it was constant, and
the worst part was that it
wasn't safe to tell my best friend.
- Shenade, I don't know
why you would ever feel
threatened by me.
- I know, it doesn't make sense,
but that's how I felt.
Delori, you're not the only
one who feels like they
don't measure up to their
best friend all the time.
- Okay, so then why are
you telling me this here,
at this bar?
- Because Casper is in this bar.
And I think that in order for
us to get back on even ground,
for you to feel like you
got back whatever you think
I took from you, that
you need to go in there
and hit that.
- What, no!
- Okay, well then just it then.
- No, Shenade, no, come on.
- I know that you are angry at me,
you feel vulnerable, you want validation,
and you wanna get back at Ryan,
so why don't we just kill
all those birds with one
hot make out session?
- Shenade, I appreciate that
you're trying to fix things,
but this, this is really stupid.
I am not gonna have
sex with your long lost
summer love Casper.
- Stupid, oh my god, do you
know what's good for you?
- Not always.
- Are you willing to
do anything else to try
to save our friendship?
- No.
- All right, well I'm not
willing to just sit around
and do nothing, so until you
come up with your grown up,
responsible plan, we're
gonna do my stupid plan!
So why don't you get in
there and get that sweet D.
- But I don't wanna have to
buy you drinks every time
every time something
good happens at work.
I want you.
- I work at G Nelson.
- It stands out, right.
- Delori, hello.
- Oh, hey Casper, fancy seeing you here.
- I haven't seen you in ages.
Where have you been hiding?
- Oh, you know, around.
- Well it's good seeing you.
- Hey, what are you doing,
are you here with anyone?
- No, no, I just came here
to drink all by myself.
- You can drink with us if you want, yeah?
- Yeah, definitely.
- We're celebrating Cameron's new job.
- Congrats.
- I got a new job.
- It's a big deal.
Sorry, where are my manners?
Cameron, Delori.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- So what are you drinking?
- A beer, but maybe you
could buy me another one.
- You should probably finish
that one first though, right?
- Good advice.
Casper, what have you been doing lately,
other than working out?
- Well, I'm getting my degree
this year, completing that.
I took a year off to do
some volunteering in Haiti.
- Wow, that is so interesting
and very upstanding of you.
- Thank you, it's just,
honestly it's just really,
really meaningful work.
- What were you studying?
- I'm getting a degree in urban planning.
UBC actually has one of the most
programs in the world.
- Wow, that
must have been really
tough to get through.
- I enjoy the challenge, I find I excel
in those kind of environments, so.
- So that's what you've
been doing lately, Casper?
- That's what I've been
doing lately, Delori.
- So who have you been
doing lately, Casper?
- I'm sorry...
- I'm just curious, but
you know, a little munchkin
told me a secret.
- Yeah, what was that.
- That you used to have a crush on me.
- Is that so?
- Yeah, don't be shy about
it, I think it's pretty neat.
- Who said I was shy, I'm not
even saying that it's true.
- I think it's great if it were true,
because I think that you're great,
and you're pretty well
dressed, and great overall.
- I dress myself.
- Do you undress yourself?
- Okay, excuse me, what are you doing?
- Seducing you, OBVs.
- Delori, I'm gonna be honest,
I find it really unattractive when girls...
- Casper, what the hell is wrong with you?
She's practically giving it away,
why don't you wanna hit that?
- Delori, what's going on here?
I'm sorry, do I know you?
- Are you freaking serious?
We dated for four months.
- Shenade, I'm sorry, look,
I didn't recognize you
with the curly hair.
- Oh my god, do I really
look that different
with curly hair?
- No, you look terrific.
- Okay Shenade, what's going on here.
Did you set this up?
- We spent every other day
together for four months,
I would remember you if
you had Renee Zellweger's
plastic surgeon.
- Look, I don't know
what you want me to say,
and I still wanna know why your friend
is trying to get into my pants.
- Wait a minute, did you not recognize me,
or did you not remember me?
- Look, it took me a
second to recognize you
because it's been a long time.
- Oh my god.
- All right Shenade,
I didn't remember you,
it took me a half second.
Please don't take it personally,
it's just, it's been a really long time.
I mean, a lot has
happened, a lot has changed
since you and I were together,
and I'm sorry, you just
haven't been on the forefront
of my mind lately.
- But...
- What?
- Casper, I still think about you.
- That's okay.
Shenade, look, I remember you,
and I remember you fondly,
we had a great time together.
But in the end it was just four months,
what 2/5 of the decade ago.
I mean, I'm sorry...
- Just stop!
Fuck.
- Way to ruin Cameron's night.
- That hasn't been proven yet, has it?
- Shenade?
- I'm just so embarrassed.
- No, don't be.
- I'm sorry, this was
supposed to be about you
and I just...
- Don't worry about it.
- I just feel so stupid.
- You are amazing and
extraordinary in a million ways,
and I've cherished every moment
we have ever had together.
- Thanks, Delori.
- Any guy who doesn't see that,
doesn't deserve to be with you.
- Yeah, I know.
I'll be okay.
Fuck it, let's go get some gelato.
- What?
- I'm sitting outside a bar crying,
I feel like I'm 19, and I
wanna go get some gelato.
- I don't understand.
I don't understand how,
how you can just pull
yourself together and
get up and leave after going
through something like that.
- I'm not stronger than you,
I don't have anything that you don't have.
- It sure seems like you do.
- I just don't let other
people make me feel small
because I know that I'm not.
- Delori, do you know why
this thing with Ryan upsets
you so much?
Why you were ready to throw
away our friendship over it?
It's not because someone else
doesn't think that you're
special, doesn't think
that you're lovable.
It's because you don't think you are.
And it breaks my heart
because I, I wanna show you,
and I wanna tell you.
But you need to believe it for yourself.
It's okay, I still love
that big, huge heart
even though it's sensitive.
- This week?
- That would be nice.
- You wanna do brunch?
- Oh my god, I would love to
do brunch, I just love brunch.
Like I could definitely do
brunch, it's my favorite.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- It's a date.
Bye bye.
- Bye.
- If you're looking for a
strong confident fearless woman,
enough staring at that poster and
start looking in the mirror.
- I really wish I could
see myself that way.
- You know I wasn't born fierce,
I chose to define myself that way.
I decide who I am each and everyday.
Don't let yourself be defeated.
You can choose to, you can be fierce.
- I am fierce.
Hi.
- Hi.
- I tried to make out
with someone tonight,
I didn't want to though.
- It's okay, I figured you and Shenade
would be up to something crazy.
- I came by to tell you
that I also wanna do
whatever it takes to hang onto you.
And like, well, literally
because you're a great hugger
and you're really tall,
but also like less literally.
I just don't think this
is gonna be easy for me,
and I really can't imagine
it being any easier for you.
I'm gonna need a lot of reassurance,
a lot of honesty, and I'm
gonna be unreasonable,
like really unreasonable...
- it's not a burden for me.
I'm always gonna be here
to look out for you.
- I really care about you.
I just don't think I can say
I love you back right now,
but I think that I can, is that okay?
- Look, I don't need you
to love me right away.
But I do need you to trust me.
- I can't promise not to be scared,
but I do promise to be courageous.
- How you doin' over there?
I love you.
You are so beautiful.
And you're really funny.
And you're completely cool, you know that?
- Baby, I know.