Seriously Single Too (2026) Movie Script

1
["Jealousy" plays]
[partygoers cheering]
[in English] To the right!
Turn around!
Miss Party! We wanna party!
[in Zulu] Boys are delicious!
[all, in English] Boys are delicious!
[cheering continues]
[in Zulu] And boys are also liars, right?
[in English] They don't deserve anything.
Single ladies, where you at?
My single sister.
[in Tswana] Please get off the stage.
-[in English] Please move.
-Fine. [exclaims]
-[music softens] -[sighs]
Okay. What else can those hands do?
[sighs]
I think it's safer if you don't find out.
-[exhales] -[music swells]
Shit.
[exclaiming]
Hey, hey, hey.
-Uh, we need to go.
-Wait, what? Why?
I just saw Lawrence and you told him
I was in a coma, remember?
[announcer] Party people! Make some noise
for the baddest hun on the social street!
Sasa's in the house!
[cheering]
[chanting] Sasa, Sasa, Sasa, Sasa, Sasa!
[all chanting] Sasa, Sasa, Sasa!
To me, and my new twin for real, Dineo.
To being single, sexy...
[stammers] And leaving men on read, right?
Yes!
Hashtag women in
male-dominated fields, ladies.
[in Xhosa]
This isn't a TED Talk, we're at groove.
Okay, fine. [in English] But we seriously
have to go, Sasa.
Because now I have to lie to Lawrence
about the miracle of prayer.
Because... [in Sotho]
what am I doing here?
[in Xhosa] Look, I love you,
but it's your fault. This is what happens
[in English] when you make your side dish
your main meal.
Really?
[in English]
Are we forgetting about the Lawrence
who was super clingy,
couldn't take a hint,
not even after I blocked him
and ghosted him?
-Mmm.
-Uh-uh. We have to go, for real.
-Khai!
-Sasa! [chuckles]
-Looking as gorgeous as always.
-Ah.
[in Xhosa] Listen, your event is popping.
The comments in my stories are on fire!
[in English]
Hold on. I know you from somewhere.
Yeah, I'm still wondering
what else those hands can do.
[in Sotho] You know, you...
[in English]
You're too focused on the hands.
I can show you what this body can do.
-Oh. [gasps]
-[Khai chuckles]
[clears throat]
[in English]
I see you have met my bestie, Dineo.
She is the boss bitch who got your girl
in her brand ambassador bag.
-[in Xhosa] We're celebrating! [chuckles]
-[in English] We're celebrating.
So, how about
we continue this party in Cape Town?
I have an event in Cape Town,
and you guys can come through.
-[in Xhosa] Really?
-[in English] Yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
[in Xhosa] Yes, yes, yes. Please, girl.
Let's go, friend.
It will be an epic girls' trip.
-[chuckles]
-[in English] You and...
-["Sandton" plays] -[gasps] Noni!
This is our anthem!
Okay, I-I need to call my girl.
[exclaims]
Who's Noni?
[in Xhosa] Her best friend from varsity.
[clicks tongue]
[person chuckles] No, no, baby. Baby,
don't fight. What are you doing? Wait!
[in English] People are going to think
I'm kidnapping you.
-[Noni chuckles]
-[in Xhosa] What are you doing?
-[phone vibrating]
-[Noni, in English] Oh, my phone.
No. You'll call them back later.
[in Xhosa] Leave the phone.
-[in English] Okay. Okay. All right.
-Right... right here.
-[vibrating continues] -And...
-Voil!
-[gasps]
-Babe!
-Yeah?
-This is where we had our first date.
-[chuckles]
[in Xhosa] Yeah! Six years ago, when you
pretended that you didn't want me,
but I could see that you wanted me.
[scoffs, laughs]
[in English] I booked it just for us.
Oh, baby.
[exclaiming]
[groans]
-Now, let me kick your ass.
-Okay.
-Uh-huh.
-Okay. Still got the magic touch?
I ain't heard you complaining.
-Well, let's see it.
-[giggles]
[vibrating continues]
[line ringing]
Hi, it's Noni. Please leave a message.
-Now!
-[line disconnects]
Okay. Just goes to voicemail.
Yeah, she's... she's probably busy.
[in Xhosa]
Yeah, she's always busy... with Max.
[Khai, in English] Okay, how about...
How about I show you
what these hands can do.
[groans, scoffs]
-[in Xhosa] Go, friend.
-[giggles]
[in Sotho] Mr. Hands!
[chuckles]
[Max, in English] Yes, yes, yes!
Yes! Yes!
Yes! [laughs]
Yes.
Y... Come on.
What the hell, man?
Bruh.
[in Xhosa] Your scoreboard is not working!
-[in Tswana] No, it's fine.
-[in English] No, no, wait.
[in Xhosa] Baby, wait.
My brother, please fix your scoreboard.
It's not working!
[in Zulu] So?
Try using another aisle.
[in Xhosa] No, I paid for this lane,
I want to use this lane.
Please fix it now!
[in Zulu] Nah, bruh. [scoffs]
Bro, you're full of games.
[in Xhosa] Please fix your scoreboard!
[in English] When my girlfriend bowls,
it's supposed to say, "Will you marry me?"
What?
Um...
Well... [chuckles]
Surprise.
-[thuds] -[yells]
[in Xhosa] Call the doctor!
[groans] Ow!
[in English]
Since when do you want to get married?
I got the job offer from the NGO.
Wow, that's... that's amazing.
-Yes, yes. [chuckles]
-That's...
In Kenya.
[in Xhosa] If we are married...
[in English] ...it makes it easier for us
to move together.
In one month.
[scoffs]
[chuckles]
So-So you expect me to give up my life,
my career and my friends
and believe in marriage in one month?
Yes.
Please.
No.
Okay, just... just forget
about the certificate, okay?
Focus on us.
Look, um... I'm gonna be real.
[in Xhosa]
In the beginning, it was all practical.
But I realize that...
[in English] ...I do want the government...
[in Xhosa] ...to know that I love you.
[in English] I want them to know
that I want to spend
the good and the bad of life with you.
And I trust you to decide
whether I live or I die.
Even though I do know you'd pull the plug
for the insurance money.
[chuckles]
So...
Ow. [in Xhosa] Oh, goodness!
[grunts]
[in English] Will you...
please...
please marry me?
Do it for the insurance.
[scoffs]
["Shela" plays]
Yes!
Yes, this!
[in Zulu] Congratulations, I guess.
-[in English] Okay, okay, okay. Yes.
-Yes?
-Yes. Yes. Yes.
-Yes.
Okay, okay, okay. [mutters]
-Ow!
-Ow.
[in Xhosa]
My guy, do you have butter or something?
[in English] Stop it!
[laughs]
Stop it.
-We'll get it in there.
-[laughs]
-Yes. Yes, baby.
-Yes. Yes, yes.
[music intensifies]
[in Sotho] Do you see that you didn't...
[in English] ...need anyone else?
You have all of me right here with you.
So... [scoffs]
I don't know. Do you rehearse these lines
in the mirror before execution?
-[chuckles] -You do, right?
-No.
-Yeah.
No, I don't.
Um. Where is Sasa?
-[exclaims]
-Seriously, where's Sasa?
Don't you know we
call her "Location Pin"...
[in English]
...because we always need to find her?
[in Sotho] There she is.
[in English] There she is.
-[in Sotho] On top of a table.
-[both laugh]
[in English]
Okay, I guess my lines worked.
Shut up.
So, what would you like to drink?
[grunting]
-Oh, no.
-[both chuckle]
[both giggling, kissing]
-[Khai grunts] -[chuckles]
[grunting]
[mumbles]
-[grunting] -Are you fine?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-What?
-[in Sotho] Caster, slow down.
-[grunts]
-[in English] What?
-[sighs]
[in Sotho] Okay, where are you rushing to?
[scoffs, in English] Don't pretend
we're not both here for just one thing.
[scoffs]
But I'm not just here for one thing.
Look at me.
[breathes shakily]
["No Strings Attached" plays]
[exhales] Oh, my God.
So...
That's what those hands can do, huh?
[sighs]
-[thuds] -[grunts]
[grunting]
Shh.
-Okay.
-[keys jingle]
Shit.
Where are you going?
[whistles]
Huh?
To the bathroom.
You mean the one that's behind me?
Uh, yeah.
[in Sotho] I wanted to wipe a stain
on my... [in English] ...on my pants.
Are you actually sneaking
out of your own house?
[sighs]
Uh...
-Dineo.
-Mmm.
This was nice,
but I'm not looking for anything serious.
Look, it's complicated.
[in Sotho] I just knew it.
I knew it! I knew that...
[in English] Ooh, Dineo. You know,
I'm not here for just that one thing...
You caressing me and shit.
That was a play, right?
Yeah, because...
[in Sotho] ...all men are the same.
[in English] Well, joke's on you.
Because I was sneaking out too.
[laughs]
I'm fully dressed to leave.
[exhales]
Yeah, right.
Wait, why do-why do you do that?
What?
Why do men never believe it when we say
we're not looking for a relationship?
That's because women like...
Hold on.
You're married.
-No.
-Then what's that...
No, it's just a ring.
It's a ring that reminds me
to stay single.
Because men are liars.
[in Sotho] Right?
[in English] Or cheaters.
Or sometimes homeless
and using me for proof of address.
[chuckles] Ah, great.
Another woman that thinks
that all men are trash.
You know what, a real man
wouldn't be sneaking out of his
own house just to avoid a woman.
What was the plan?
Actually... [in Sotho] ...please tell me.
[in English] You were gonna sneak out
and go what, sit in your car until I left?
No, no, no.
No, that's not what I was going to do.
I was... I was going to chill...
[in Sotho] ...with the security guard.
[in English] They have a TV there and
-they let me sit and watch it sometimes.
-Wow.
I look forward to never seeing you again.
[scoffs]
[Khai exhales]
"To never seeing you again."
[Dineo clears throat]
[exclaims]
I left my shoes.
[interviewer]
There could be a lot of dead people...
[Max snoring]
Because of... they fell
for Thabo Bester and Nandipha.
[in Xhosa] Your mother can't cook.
She burns the gravy, she burns it.
-[in English] Best friends forever!
-Best friends for life!
-To us!
-[scoffs]
[clicks tongue]
TikToker.
[in Sotho] What a bore.
[sighs]
[in Xhosa] The last bit of gravy.
We'll drink it, babe, we'll drink it.
-It's ours, this gravy, it's ours.
-[chuckles]
[Max mutters]
[sighs]
[in English] Perfect. Yes, perfect.
Thank you. [gasps] Hi, ladies.
Welcome to my work promotion celebration.
And remember to tag me
so I can repost you.
Thank you.
[in Sotho] The suburbs are boring! Where's
the music? I thought it was a party here.
[in Sotho] Auntie...
[in English] ...I-I didn't think you'd come.
[sighs, in Sotho]
Your mother would haunt me.
[chuckles]
I can already imagine her saying...
[in English] ..."Oh, Dineo, my baby.
I'm so proud that finally
you chose work over men."
[laughs]
[in Sotho] Wow!
Baby, I hope there is an open bar.
I took three taxis from
the township coming here.
I didn't come to be sober.
And also...
Please make sure you sit me
next to the men, okay?
Auntie...
[in English] ...the invite said women only.
-[in Sotho] But there's alcohol.
-There is?
-Mmm.
-You see why I love you so much?
Do you have gum? My
mouth is... My mouth is...
-Auntie... uh!
-[in English] Okay, okay.
[chuckles] Wow, it's so beautiful!
[laughs]
Dineo!
-Noni! [chuckles]
-[chuckles]
[in English] And Max is here too.
Yeah, sorry we're late.
We had to stop at my parents' place.
Have you been crying? Who am I fighting?
-[sighs] -Who am I fighting?
Yeah, never mind
what I was saying, you know.
I will find my way to the bar.
It's my aunt.
We were talking about how Mama
would have been proud of all of this.
[chuckles] Did she meet your mom?
"Oh, my baby.
Couldn't you have a bridal shower
or a baby shower?
"Now you've made a job a wedding."
[chuckles] Okay, what about this one?
"Oh, my baby, Dineo.
This is why you'll die alone...
[in Sotho] ...my child, you know."
[laughs]
[in English]
And how when you have me, babe?
Where do I... Where?
I never see you.
No, I... honestly, I never see you.
-Tell the truth.
-[Sasa, in Xhosa] The famous Noni!
[Dineo squeals]
[in English]
I was starting to think you're a rumor.
Oh, and you must be the TikToker.
No, content curator
and brand engagement specialist.
700,000 followers and counting.
[squeals]
So, TikToker?
-[Dineo gasps] -Oh.
Finally, my two favorite
people get to meet.
Yes, okay.
I'm so excited. I'm so happy.
Okay, walk with me.
I want to show you all the things.
-[in Xhosa] It's beautiful, hey.
-It's nice, right?
-Mm-hmm.
-Thank you for the hook-up.
To go from social media manager
to creative director...
[giggles] ...for one of South Africa's
biggest, and I mean biggest,
retailers is a dream.
Honestly, this is not
the future I expected but...
[squeals] I'm so damn proud of myself!
-[guests cheering] -To Dineo.
[all] To Dineo!
-Yay, Dineo!
-[whistling]
[guest] Yes!
[Dineo] Okay, okay, okay. Clink, clink.
[in Xhosa] Time for gifts.
[aunt, in Sotho]
Let them come, let them come!
[chattering]
I didn't know
we're supposed to bring presents.
[in Xhosa] What did the invite say?
[in English] Who still reads invites?
Wow.
-To my bestie, for real.
-That's me. [giggles]
-Okay... [in Xhosa] ...open up!
-[in English] Okay.
[squeals]
It's a brand-new laptop
from Luxe Technologies!
-[chattering] -What?
-Wow. How pretty.
-[chuckles]
-Link in my bio for promo code.
-[sighs]
Thank you so much. Well,
good luck topping a free laptop, ladies.
-[clicks tongue] -Thank you.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
[in Xhosa] Don't tell me none of you
brought any gifts.
[in Tswana] But the invite didn't
say anything about bringing gifts.
I thought we were just coming
to celebrate her job promotion.
[in English] Ha, Monica, guys, really.
But you don't have to be told
to bring a gift
to a kitchen tea or baby shower, do you?
[in Sotho] Seriously!
What kind of people are you?
Wait, babe, why am I the only guy here?
Oh.
This is what happens when you
don't read invites. [in English] I'm out.
[growling]
[in Sotho] Lovey, where are you going?
[in English] Oh, no. I just thought
that I should leave you ladies to it.
So don't all sync up while I'm gone, okay?
[in Sotho] Yeah, Auntie, let him go.
[in English]
If Max wants to go, he can go.
Especially since this lunch
was meant for women only.
[Auntie, in Sotho]
You know how it is with married couples.
They always come as a two-for-one special.
[in English] No, no... [in Sotho] Auntie.
[in English]
These two are far from married. [chuckles]
No, I mean, Noni...
Noni thinks getting married is like
getting her clit literally electrocuted.
[guests gasping, chattering]
-[in Xhosa] A clit, babe?
-[chuckling]
[in English] Yeah, no. My friend is never,
ever getting married.
[chuckles] Right?
[chuckles]
What?
[in Xhosa] What, guys...
[in English] What's...
Okay, what's wrong?
-Max, um...
-[Max clears throat]
...might have proposed.
Might?
Weren't you leaving?
Yes. I mean, no, no. Um...
Cong...
I mean, congratulations
to the happy couple.
-[cheering]
-Thank you, thank you.
We need more champagne.
[Auntie, in Sotho] More champagne,
so we can celebrate!
-[in Xhosa] See?
-Shit, shit.
You see what type of friend you are?
[in English] Dini... Dini, baby.
[Auntie, in Sotho]
Are you ditching him now?
[in Xhosa] Okay, baby, wait!
Noni, Noni, Noni.
[in English] Wait, wait, wait.
[in Xhosa] Is it true?
You think marriage...
[in English]
...is like having your clit electrocuted?
Of course not.
But this is not the time, okay?
Babe.
-[groans] -[squeals]
Hey. Hey. [in Xhosa] Auntie, it's you.
[in Sotho] Look, you can marry me.
[in English] I'm single. Available...
[in English]
No, no, no. Okay, Noni! Noni, Noni!
[sighs]
It's party time!
-[guests cheering] -[chuckles]
[water trickling]
[in Xhosa] Yoh, Dini!
I've been looking for you.
[sighs]
Sis.
I've cut off friends...
[in English]
...for far less than what Noni just did.
[in Xhosa] You deserve a do-over.
[in English] Come with me to Cape Town.
Khai is hooking me up
with a VVIP experience...
[in Xhosa] ...at his event.
-[in English] Khai?
-Yeah. Come on.
No, no, Sasa.
Didi, Didi.
I am so, so, so sorry.
Okay, I didn't wanna ruin your day.
I know you've been planning
your wedding since forever.
Guys, guys.
I'm happy being single, okay?
And Noni, I'm happy
for the two of you, okay?
I'm happy. I'm happy to plan the
bachelorette, to organize the bridesmaids.
I'm even happy
to say a speech at your wedding.
See, happy, happy,
happy to do all of that stuff.
Girl, you are saying happy a lot.
There'll be no bachelorette.
We're getting married
at home affairs in... in three weeks.
-[gasps] -What?
I mean...
Why are you doing
all this so quickly, Noni?
You're pregnant.
[Dineo] Okay, if you hit me with pregnancy
news right now, friend...
I'm not pregnant.
Hmm.
I... [sighs]
I-I don't want wedding drama.
Are you okay, friend?
I'm fine.
I'm so fine, in fact,
I will plan your bachelorette
for next week in Cape Town.
-What, no!
-Yes! Yes, yes.
Cape Town is supposed to be our thing.
Noni deserves to have a weekend
that's as crazy as she used to be.
Why are you saying used to be?
Oh, okay.
Friend, when was the last time
you went inside a club?
[in Sotho] You see what I mean?
[in English] Friend... This is...
This is the last chance for you
to be the queen of the night again.
You know? A final bow.
[scoffs]
[in Xhosa] She wouldn't last a day...
[in English]
...let alone a whole long weekend.
Let's do it. I'm in.
-I'm sorry, what was that? What was that?
-I am in!
[squeals] Okay, I'll plan everything.
Oh, this is going to be
the best bachelorette ever.
[sighing]
-What?
-It's fine, it's fine.
I don't want her there.
Why can't it be just you and me?
A bachelorette is a group thing,
and none of your friends
can be in Cape Town next week.
Oh, also, Sasa has a wine farm connection.
Oh, so it's going to be you,
me, and the TikToker.
And your favorite cousin...
[in Sotho] ...obviously.
Bontle.
[groans]
[in English] Bontle, the baby factory?
I mean, come on, man.
Ever since she had a husband and kids,
she's just weird and boring and...
[Bontle] Hi, Dineo.
[Dineo] Hey, babe,
Noni's on the phone too.
[Bontle] Hey, Cuz.
Hey, Cuz.
She's so excited to have you in Cape Town.
[cheers]
[in Sotho] Hey, you! No!
[in English] No, you can't cut your sister
to see the color of her blood.
[in Tswana] The things these kids do.
These kids are aging me.
Cuz, are you sure you
can even go on this trip?
Look, I haven't had a holiday
since these kids were born.
[in English] I'm taking this visa.
I need this weekend off.
-I'm gonna cut you.
-Okay...
-[in Sotho] You kids don't listen!
-[in English] See?
[giggles] Best bachelorette ever!
[sighs]
-[Max groans] -[zipper opens]
So, how did Dineo take the news
about us moving to Kenya?
-[urinating]
-Oh, I'm working on it.
Noni.
Man, her mother died.
And now I'm leaving her. So, I don't know.
I just feel like it's better to break
the news on a yacht, sipping cocktails.
[toilet flushes]
[groans, grunting]
-[airplane engine whirs]
-[upbeat music playing]
-[in Afrikaans] My gosh.
-[music stops]
[in English] What?
Am I leaking?
Girl, those boobs are probably
the best thing your kids gave you.
Girl. [chuckles] Stop it. Let's go.
[music continues]
There she is, ladies.
-[chuckles] -Where?
[Dineo] There.
[in Tswana] Dineo, you promised me luxury.
[in English] What in the Putco is this?
It's a party bus.
You see, party bus. [smacks lips]
Okay, wait until you get inside.
As for you...
-[Dineo scats] -Nope, nope, nah.
-I'm not doing that.
-[in Sotho] Oh, come on!
-No. No!
-Yes, yes, yes.
[in Sotho] Come on now! Come!
[in English] It's your bachelorette.
You're supposed to be humiliated.
Yeah, people must know that you...
you have chosen to be with Max forever.
Until you die.
You know, at least I'll have the feather
boa to strangle myself with.
[laughs]
Hey, man!
Stop.
[in Xhosa]
Oh, come on! Relax, it's content.
[in English] My first ever bachelorette
for someone over 50.
And if you keep recording,
it'll be your last bachelorette ever.
Come on, Cuz. You're cute.
-[in Sotho] I promise you.
-Ah.
[in English] Exactly.
-[Bontle] Well...
-Mm-hmm.
Okay, ladies.
Now the party can begin.
[in Sotho] Let's go!
Might as well. [grunts]
How exciting, you guys.
Four days to do nothing
but unplug and have fun.
-[laughing] -Just us girls.
It's only four days, baby.
You're going to be fine without me.
-Lefa...
-Palesa!
[in Sotho] They're also your kids.
Please take care of them.
Please speak to them.
These kids are going to...
[in English] ...kill me in my sleep.
Baby, I'm on holiday.
-Honey, wait. [chokes]
-[giggling]
Honey, wait.
Guys, I'm not gonna give you sweets.
I'm telling you, I won't give you...
-No more phones.
-Okay, baby, I gotta go.
-I love you too.
-[Lefa groans]
[in Sotho]
Baby, please listen to your dad.
[in English] Mama's gonna take you to
Gold Reef City when I get back, I promise.
Bye, Mommy!
Bye-bye, my angel.
Bye-bye.
The bachelorette
has officially started, everybody.
[smacking lips]
Isn't this nice?
[Dineo groans]
[Bontle] Yoh, yoh, yoh!
-Yoh!
-[Sasa, in Sotho] You guys!
[squeals]
The money you have books places like this?
Not paying school fees is nice.
[in English] This is nice.
Hey.
Hey, this is nice.
Told you.
[in Sotho] Right there, right there!
[in English] Excuse me.
-Just right there. And lean back.
-[person] Excuse me.
Are you people lost?
No, no, no. My name is Dineo,
and I booked this place until Sunday.
Uh, no. Um, this place
has been booked by a Lauren.
Mmm. That's my assistant.
[chuckles]
Are you sure
it's not the other way around?
This content is about to pop.
Uh, okay.
I have a booking confirmation.
That's... that's very nice.
But unfortunately, we have
a very strict security protocol here.
So only the person who booked can stay.
Oh, and is that rule
for everyone or just the melanated?
[in Xhosa] Ten minutes in...
[in English]
...and already Cape Town is Cape Town-ing.
-Excuse me, lovey.
-[Sasa] Uh-huh.
I didn't give you permission
to film me, okay?
"Lovey."
-Sorry, sorry. Karen...
-Wow.
...have you ever heard the phrase,
"after school is after school"?
Okay.
You know what?
You girls had better leave immediately.
-Otherwise, I'm going to call the police.
-Yes.
-No. Yes. We'll...
-No, it's fine. Gives me 30 minutes.
Yeah. Tag me in when
you're done, Cuz, I want to finish her.
Who's tagging... No, we're not doing...
No. Hey, oh, wait.
No, listen. We're not going to jail.
This is... This is not that bachelorette.
-[in Sotho] Please, let's go.
-[in English] No, we're not.
-We just want to talk.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-We just want to talk.
-Sasa, Sasa.
-Yeah, yeah. [in Xhosa] I'm coming.
-[in English] Okay, okay, okay.
-No, hey.
-Okay. Okay.
-Okay.
-Okay.
But you better pay my friend
her refund back, otherwise...
And when we take the land,
we're starting with this place.
[Dineo] What land?
[in Sotho] Let's go! Let's go! Let's go...
[in English] ...let's go.
It's not worth it. Calm down.
I'm calm. I'm calm.
[laughing]
You know what. I'm glad, I'm glad.
I'm glad you think it's funny
we almost got arrested back there.
I'm sorry, babe.
It's just that back in the day,
I was 619, she was Eddie Guerrero.
[in Spanish] Viva la Raza!
-[both laughing]
-[in English] What the hell is that?
WWF, man.
Babe, how old are you?
Oh, this is already
the best bachelorette ever.
-[laughs] -[in Sotho] Really?
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
[in English] Bruh, Max is such a pacifist.
He would never let me fight.
Yes, yes, Noni.
That's exactly what we need.
-A weekend of just forgetting about Max.
-[Noni sighs]
[chuckles]
Which we could never do
because we love Max.
I should just keep scrolling.
Anyways, so, do you guys think I should do
tears for my racism story time on TikTok?
Must you put everything on TikTok?
Uh, yeah. How else do you get free shit?
Sasa, do you think
you could get us a free house?
Honestly, because everything on here
is either booked or 15 grand a night.
Wow.
Yep, the digital nomads and tourists
are colonizing Cape Town.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
[gasps] I just got us a place to stay.
Oh, and it's gorgeous.
And it's in our price range.
She just got us the land.
[laughing]
[Dineo] Uh, this is not what I paid for.
-Mm-mmm. This is so not my brand.
-[groans]
It looks like you'll catch something
just from breathing in there.
Yeah, no, I did not leave my husband
to fight for his life
with three kids for this.
Okay, guys.
[in Sotho]
You know that places in the CBD...
[in English] ...can be a bit rough, right?
But we saw the pictures.
We saw the pictures.
Yeah.
The inside.
[flies buzzing]
It's worse than the outside.
This is a bigger catfish than a baddie
who just came back from Turkey.
How could they make you pay
three K per person for this?
[clicks tongue]
[all scream]
-[groans]
-Yeah, we cannot stay here.
Uh-uh. I just paid 12K for this place.
But I will book the place
that's 15 grand per room.
It's fine.
No. [in Xhosa] Look, I know some people...
[in English] ...who owe me a big favor
who are flying in tomorrow.
So, this is what we'll do.
We'll get ready here
and then we'll party till the morning
and link up with them tomorrow.
-No, no.
-Perfect, yes!
Noni, we used to party
all night all the time.
-Six years ago.
-Damn!
I mean, me and Dini
were doing this last weekend.
Well, there's more to me and Dini
than just clubbing.
[in Xhosa] No, no. I hear you.
Even my mother was...
[in English] ...crying about
crumpled bones after 50.
Call me 50 one more time
and I'll crumple your bones.
Oh, okay. Shit.
Do you know me? Have you heard of me?
Let me teach you something.
-[lively music plays]
-[all cheering]
-[clamoring]
-No, you do it like this.
[cheering]
-Now this is how it's done.
-[bones crack]
-Shit! Yes!
-[laughs]
See, now... now this is a bachelorette.
-Yes!
-Mm-hmm.
Let's go get our bags.
-[Dineo] Yes!
-[Sasa] Girl.
[chuckles, in Sotho] Let's go.
[groans]
[gasps, in English] Oh. You're okay.
[shushes]
-There you go.
-[groans]
-I heard something crack, friend.
-You're fine.
[both scream]
[groans]
[emotional music playing]
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
[grunts]
[music intensifies]
Shit.
[grunting]
Get off me. Give me just a single...
-[thuds] -[grunts]
[groans] Saved by the nyash.
[groans]
Congratulations, Cuz.
Welcome to Club Makoti...
[in Tswana] ...my sister.
-Mmm.
-[chuckles]
-[in English] One more thing, you guys.
-Mm-hmm.
One more thing.
Mmm.
Guys.
Did you know that the origin
of the word "Makoti" is actually...
[in Sotho] Raise your hand.
[in English] ...is actually Afrikaans?
-[Sasa] Mmm.
-Afrikaans.
Loosely translating, "make us tea."
Yeah. [in Afrikaans] "Maak ons tee."
[laughs]
[in Sotho] So, actually...
[in English]
The definition of wife is servitude.
[scats]
[in Sotho] Yes, Noni.
Daughter in-law duties.
[chuckles]
-[in English] Service.
-[Bontle] Okay, okay, okay.
-Wow.
-Service.
-[vocalizes] -[chuckles]
-Yeah.
-Ooh, okay, guys.
Khai just hooked us up
with some VVIP tickets...
[in Xhosa] ...to his beach party.
[in English]
So let's extend our trip so we can go.
-No.
-[cheers]
Oh.
Why?
Because...
-[in Sotho] Because we came here for Noni.
-Mmm.
-[in English] Not Khai.
-Mm-hmm.
[in Tswana] Uh. Who is Khai?
Probably her sugar daddy.
[scoffs, in English]
She hasn't slept with him.
Uh, Sasa, you...
You haven't slept with him?
[groans] Respect me.
Khai is community dick...
[in Xhosa] ...friend.
Girl, you're lucky... [in English]
...you didn't fall for that trap.
-Shit.
-[Bontle] Oh, not community dick.
You little...
-Dineo!
-You slept with him!
[laughs]
Weren't you sleeping with a Lawrence?
[in Sotho] Girl no... [in English]
...that was like three dudes ago.
-Where were you?
-Getting engaged.
So, do we like this Khai or...
[stammers] It doesn't matter.
[in Xhosa] Dineo knows
you don't hook up with a guy...
[in English] ...more than once.
Right? Isn't it?
[chuckles] That reminds me
of the old you, Cuz.
[scoffs]
Yeah, but that's not really you, Dineo.
[scoffs]
You know what?
Once upon a time,
getting married wasn't you either, Noni.
-[sighs] -Oh.
-I need the bathroom.
-[chair scrapes]
Noni, Noni, Noni.
[in Xhosa] Maybe I should send you
a weekly update on Dineo.
Oh, wait, your generation
still uses email, right?
[in English] Shouldn't you be
on a mental health break or something?
-[clicks tongue, in Sotho] My bag, please.
-Okay.
[in Xhosa] Don't joke about mental health.
[Noni] Don't joke with me.
[clicks tongue]
Damn, woman! You already finished that?
So nicely.
[in English]
Girl, I've got eight years to catch up on.
-Gift!
-[laughs]
[in Xhosa] The babe is thirsty.
[in English] Gift!
Babe, I know you're working, okay?
But can you please call me back?
I need you to stop me from ending up...
[in Sotho] ...on the news because of Sasa.
Call me back, babe.
[sighs]
-Nondumiso.
-[scoffs]
What exactly is going on
between you and Dineo?
[in Afrikaans] Nothing.
Nothing? [in English] Come on.
You two used to know everything
about each other.
Now you don't even know who she's dating.
How will I know, Cuz?
[in English]
She's in her ho phase with Sasa.
So how am I supposed to keep up?
[chuckles]
The same way she kept up with yours, babe.
Does this have to do
with you going to Kenya?
Cuz, I haven't even told her.
[in Zulu] Nondumiso.
[in English] Shh, Cuz.
[squeals, in Sotho] The things you do.
[grumbles] Mm-hmm.
Cuz, why don't you keep Sasa busy
so I get a chance to speak to Dineo?
I should do what?
Don't be crazy.
[in English]
Go and put on your big girl panties.
[in Sotho] Go talk with Dineo and tell her
what's going on. I'm not involved.
I came to Cape Town to drink, my dear.
-[in English] Please.
-Fine.
If you won't help me...
[in Sotho] ...I will take Dineo and go.
-[groans] -Yeah.
-Your mother!
-She's your aunt. I'm gonna tell her.
Go and speak to Dineo!
Leave me alone!
[in English] You stupid...
Jesus!
[groans]
[cheering]
[Dineo] There she is.
[cheers]
I'm tired, friend.
And it's very loud in here.
Can we find somewhere quieter to talk?
About what?
[DJ] Now, we have a very special lady
celebrating a bachelorette party tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together for Noni!
[cheering]
Ah, but you're a brave woman
giving up your freedom just like that.
But tonight is all
about you and the girls.
We've got a special song
from Dineo just for you.
UPZ in the house.
[cheering]
["Pure Surprise" playing]
Remember this song?
[chuckles]
Sorry. Show me.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Hey, hey.
-What?
-We really need to talk.
Okay.
Okay.
[in Sotho] Take off these things.
[in English] Thank you.
-Get rid of this.
-[sighs]
Okay, babe.
Just for one night.
Can we be the old Noni and Dineo?
Please.
-Please!
-Okay, okay.
-Yes? Yes?
-Yes. Yes.
-Yes.
-Yes! She said yes!
[cheers]
-Yes. Come on, with me.
-Oh. Oh.
[in Sotho] That meat doesn't look cooked.
You're gonna kill my kids.
-[Lefa] What do you mean?
-It's raw!
[grumbles]
[in Xhosa] Let's go dance! Bye, Lefa!
[in Sotho] No.
That man is going to kill my kids, Sasa.
Mm-mmm.
[in English] I'm serious. He's gonna give
my kids Listeriosis, babe.
[in Xhosa] They'll be fine!
-[in English] Let's go, Cape Town!
-[cheers]
[singing indistinctly]
[crowd chanting] Go, Noni! Go, Noni!
Go, Noni! Go, Noni! Go, Noni!
No, man. Like, I like you two, man.
You dance... [in Afrikaans] ...well, you
know. [in English] You just... You're here.
Hey, UPS!
-UPZ!
-Bontle.
-[grunts] -Great set!
I want... I want you
and you to keep the land.
[in Zulu] As for the others,
we will shoot the...
-[horn hooting] -Girl, no.
-[in English] Thanks, you guys.
-Bye, bye, guys.
-You're fine. You're safe.
-Yo, see you later. Cheers, eh.
-Wonderful.
-You're perfect.
Yeah, bye.
Congrats again for getting married.
I'm not getting married tonight.
Tonight, I'm just Noni.
And just Noni needs a second location.
Yes, girl! A second location.
[Sasa, in Xhosa]
You know, with just one phone call...
[in English] ...I can get us
into the hottest club in the city.
-Yes.
-And you can come too.
You left Joburg to come here for clubs?
Let me show you
how hard we go in Cape Town.
Oh! How hard! [chuckles]
Well then.
Let's go, ladies.
Oh.
Okay. Calm yourself.
-[in Sotho] Guys!
-Oh, sh...
-[in Afrikaans] Sorry, Cuz.
-[scoffs]
[in Sotho] My cousin, my baby. Oh, really.
[in English] Oh, my goodness.
[laughs] Bontle.
Cape Town is going to kill me.
[in Sotho] With your white boyfriends!
-[cheering]
-["Babize Bonke" plays]
Now this is a Cape Town party.
[laughs]
[in Xhosa] Oh, no, Quinton.
[in English] Not you bringing us
to a whole street bash?
Okay, ladies.
We need some simple rules, right.
Number one.
Don't take anything
unless you saw where it came from.
Number two.
All four of us, we stick together
the whole night.
And the most important thing
is to have fun.
[cheering]
I don't know, guys.
Oh, come on.
You said you want
the old Noni and Dineo back, so...
[in Zulu] Get right into it!
[in English] Come on.
Guys, wait. Wait.
I know how this movie ends, hey.
-I watched The Hangover.
-[Quinton laughs]
But also. Cuz, doesn't this
go against your rule number one?
No.
[in Sotho] Come on, Cuz.
[in English]
We saw where they came from. His jacket.
[in Xhosa]
Okay, grannies, please let's drink.
Okay, fine.
-Peer pressure, peer pressure.
-[laughs]
Mmm.
-[claps] -Okay.
-I can do this.
-Yes.
-Actually, it's not so bad. Right?
-Mmm.
Right.
[cheers]
Let's go get some drinks, guys.
Okay, where's the bar?
Uh, you guys, wait. Uh...
[in Sotho] Where is Sasa?
Damn.
Location Pin.
[in Sotho]
Let's go look over there. Let's go.
[in English] I am tired of looking
for your friend, okay?
-Let her career burn, man.
-No, Noni, man.
And these pills
are not kicking in, friend.
-Let me get us some shots.
-Wait. Wait.
[Sasa] My twins for real!
[laughs]
It's karaoke, bitches! Get up here!
[all cheering]
[in Xhosa] I chose Brenda Fassie.
[in English]
Music from your generation. Come.
[all cheer]
Girl, you had me at MaBrrr!
[in Zulu] I'm coming!
[vocalizes]
DJ, cue the music!
You know I don't do karaoke.
Oh.
-But you do it for Max though.
-["Weekend Special" plays]
You...
[clicks tongue]
-[groans]
-You don't come around
To see me in the week
You don't get the chance
[crowd cheers]
To call me on the phone
[crowd clamors]
No. No. Come. Look, look, look.
Yes!
But Friday night, yes I know
I know I must be ready for you
Just be waiting for you
But Friday night, yes I know
I know I must be ready for you
Just be waiting for you
I'm your weekend, weekend special
-I'm your weekend, weekend special
-[music distorts]
[distorted] Weekend special
I'm your weekend
Weekend special
-[Dineo] I need to pee.
-Ooh, so long.
Friend. The men's toilets queue's shorter.
[Dineo] Okay, okay. Let's go.
Dineo.
[gasps]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Did you pee on yourself?
Good. Let's go party.
No. No, it's Khai.
[Noni] Oh. I get it now. He's so hot.
Shh. Mm-mmm. Don't do that, Noni.
[scoffs] He already has a big head.
And I'm not talking
about the one on his shoulders.
[both laugh]
[in Sotho] You know that I can hear you?
[gasps, in English]
My darling. He can hear us.
-Okay. If we stand still, he won't see us.
-Mmm. Okay.
What are you guys on?
-On?
-Yes.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
-We're not even here.
-Mm-mmm.
You are hallucinating. See?
Ooh. Mmm.
You've had a long night, Khai.
Good night.
Say good night.
Good night.
[gentle music playing]
Isn't that the most beautiful
thing you've ever seen?
Mmm.
It's like looking into the eyes of God.
[chuckling, coos]
Do you know what's even more beautiful?
-Mmm...
-Your twerk.
Your upside-down twerk.
-[laughs] -Aw.
I haven't seen it in so long.
[in Sotho] I try to do it sometimes
but it lacks "That thing."
[in English] Noni, it's not the same.
[chuckles]
I'm gonna do it for you.
-I'm gonna do it for you.
-Will you?
-[gasps] Aw.
-Yes. Right here.
-You love me. You love me.
-Right now. Yes.
-Let's do it.
-Okay. Uh, give me your phone.
Uh, here you go.
I'm gonna capture it for the last time.
[giggles]
[Noni] It's not for the last time.
[exclaims]
It's for the last time, my darling.
Marriage changes everything.
No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
This is different, man.
Max and I are only getting married
so we can get our visas
for when we move to Kenya.
[emotional music plays]
You're...
You're moving?
Yeah.
It's Max's fault. [sighs]
This ring doesn't even fit.
My finger doesn't want this.
And I don't even want this.
[echoing] I can't even tell Max
because he's so in love with me.
Because he thinks I'm so amazing.
[normal] So, one last upside down twerk
before the end of Noni.
It's not... it's not the end.
[Noni] Oh. [grunts]
Mm-mmm. No, I can fix this.
I can... I can fix this.
[in Zulu] Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Granny, move from that wall.
What are you doing?
619!
[grunts]
[in English]
That's why they call me Rey Mysterio.
Oh, my God, it's time to go.
Get your girl, Sasa.
-I swear, if that girl...
-[in Xhosa] Here I am!
Ooh!
[laughing]
-[in English] Call me.
-[in Xhosa] Hell no, brother!
He wants me to call him?
[groans]
[in English] Let's go, sweetie.
I fixed it. [sighs]
-[in Xhosa] We're leaving.
-[in English] Let's go. Move.
[mutters, shushes]
Hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, Rey Mysterio. You'll get arrested.
I knew we shouldn't have released the bus.
Yeah, this is why
the second location is always kak.
Well, luckily for you,
you're going to Kenya.
Yeah, so you never have to
do the second location with me again.
Whoa! How do you know about that?
[sighs]
Really?
[Sasa] Hey.
-Bontle.
-Ma'am?
Did you tell her?
[in Sotho] Me?
-[in English] Did I tell you?
-It's you, Noni.
-You did. Back there.
-[Sasa chuckles]
Those drugs are drugging.
[laughs]
I was going to tell you this weekend.
So it's true.
-You're leaving?
-Yeah.
In three weeks.
Max got a job in Kenya and his
organization is fast-tracking their visas.
Hence, the quickie wedding. Okay.
My bet is still on pregnant.
You're pregnant.
[in English] Friend, I'm sorry.
I really am. I...
I knew you'd be upset that I'm leaving.
You've long been gone, Noni.
Since you've been dating Max,
our friendship has never been the same.
[in Sotho] Actually, you know what? Leave!
[in English] Go to Kenya.
Go to Kenya, babes.
Because this way, at least I can blame you
ignoring me all the time on you
actually being in a different country.
[whistles] Hey!
Let's go, we got a taxi.
[Dineo] Thank God!
Good, good.
You know what? This bachelorette is over.
[in Sotho] Fuck. Let's go.
[in Xhosa] Hold on.
[in Sotho] What is going on?
[emotional music plays]
Dineo.
[car door closes]
-[in English] Dineo, please.
-[yawns]
Please, you have to talk to me, okay?
-Hey.
-We can't just quit and go back home.
-Howzit, howzit, howzit? Howzit?
-Shh, shh, shh.
Why are you yelling?
Are you the bachelorette girls?
I'm looking for Dineo.
There's no Dineo here.
[Noni] We're the bachelorette girls.
[person, in Afrikaans] Ah, great.
Captain JP, I'm here to collect you
for your sunrise cruise.
Why?
Why would you book a sunrise cruise?
All the sunset cruises were fully booked.
Okay, I had one week to plan this.
But also, if I'd known somebody
was deserting me in three weeks,
I wouldn't even have bothered.
So, sir, I'm canceling it right now.
-No!
-No, no, no, no, no.
Hold on, scrumptious. Ladies, ladies.
Yes.
[in Xhosa]
Let's go to this cruise with Mr. Saturday.
[in Sotho] Why?
[in English]
He's my new one-day stand.
-Yeah, we can't end like this.
-[phone vibrating]
Please, let's just go
on the sunrise cruise.
-No, no.
-Dineo.
Ladies?
Shit. Shit. Shit.
This is why you don't do drugs, Dineo.
-Let's just go.
-Please.
-Let's go.
-Fine, fine.
Yeah, fine. Let's go on the stupid cruise.
-We'll go on the cruise.
-Okay, we better...
Only because I'm a great friend.
Guys, but if we're doing this,
if this is the grand finale,
we need new rules, okay?
-Yeah.
-No Max.
-No Max.
-No phones.
And...
-no drugs.
-Ah.
Deal.
-Be ready in 20 minutes, okay?
-Uh...
-No drugs, eh?
-Twenty... Uh...
[in Sotho] God please help me.
[in English]
Ladies, the sun waits for no...
-We're coming, man.
-[in Sotho] Wait a minute.
-Okay.
-Shh.
[retching]
[Sasa] Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
[in Xhosa] A ten rand says...
[in English] ...Noni is going to be
due by the end of this year.
[in Xhosa] I promise you.
[groaning]
[phone vibrating]
Mmm.
Selfie time.
[in Sotho] Take this.
Shit, shit, shit. [sighs]
[Dineo breathing heavily]
You know what? Uh, we... we need water.
-Yeah.
-But there's water right here.
Yeah, we need more.
-[Bontle groaning] -Okay.
I don't know how to fix this.
[in Xhosa] You can't, my dear.
Because you won't choose Dineo over Max.
What you should do is...
[in English] ...is go back to your love
and let us extend our trip in Cape Town
so we can go to Khai's event.
[sucks teeth]
I think I know what to do.
[Bontle retches]
Noni.
So, I... I did something big.
No. Some... Don't... Don't set it up.
[groans] Okay, uh...
And then?
-What?
-Okay.
So, I... I may have sent Max
a video on Noni's phone
saying Noni doesn't want to
get married and then blocked him.
Okay, Dineo, entering your villain era.
It's those drugs.
I told you guys bad things happen.
Yeah, but you wanted to break them up.
No.
-I... I love Max, okay?
-Mmm.
Noni doesn't want to get married.
I mean, she said so herself on the video.
-Mmm...
-So, I'm... I'm saving him.
Right?
[groans] You see, if I could just...
If I could just explain to her...
[in Sotho] ...before Max finds her.
[in Xhosa] Girl, things are tense
between the two of you...
[in English] ...at the moment. All right?
This could really end your friendship.
Which is why you should tell her.
[scoffs] Stop.
Stop.
So? What are you gonna do?
[breathes shakily]
[grunts]
[clicks tongue, scoffs]
[scoffing]
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.
[Noni] The signal here's really bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, thank you. So, we'll see you then.
-Okay.
-Hey, uh... I thought we said no phones.
[in Sotho] Who were you talking to?
[in English] I just booked us wine tasting
and accommodation in Paarl.
[laughs] I'm not gonna let
this bachelorette be over, bruh.
I think we need to talk.
Come on.
We said this is our final bow. Right?
Last two days.
Let's just end it with a bang.
Come on, Dini.
[in Xhosa] Give her a chance.
[in English] We all make mistakes.
And since when are you team Noni?
[in Xhosa] Didn't you hear her talking
about wine-tasting?
[in English]
And you know I love me some free wine.
So?
Can we go? Can we go? Can we go?
[in Xhosa] Bontle...
[in English] ...what do you think?
[coughs]
[yells]
-Bontle!
-[all scream]
-No, no, no! Bontle!
-[exclaims]
[in Sotho] Lord God help me! [yelling]
[in English] Jump in there and save her.
[in Xhosa] She's your cousin!
[in English] I'll drown in there!
-I am drowning now, you stupid bitch!
-Come on, guys!
Okay, rock, paper scissors.
[screams] Are you fuckers serious?
-[yells]
-Relax, you're wearing a life vest, man!
-Relax!
-[laughs]
You bitches are going to hell!
Make way, make way, make way!
Make way! Make way!
[all exclaim]
[Bontle yelling]
[laughs]
Stop kicking. Stop kicking.
Or you're gonna take us both down.
I can't swim. Don't tell me to stop!
-I got you! I got you.
-[yells]
[laughing]
[Bontle grunts] Lefa is calling again.
[Sasa] Girl, leave that man on read.
[Dineo] Okay, seriously, Noni,
how much did this place cost?
[Noni] Free of charge.
This is Khai's wine farm?
-[Noni] Mmm.
-Mmm.
Wait, um, are Black people allowed
to own wine farms in the Cape?
[in Xhosa] He has a minority share.
[in English] Oh, black face.
[in Xhosa] Ah-ah. No, you don't get it.
[in English] He is not just a front.
No, we can't stay here. Nope.
No, no, no. No.
[in Sotho] Why are you avoiding him?
He is hot. He is rich.
You said he's yummy.
And he owns a villa on a wine farm.
-[groans]
-Come on, take one for the team.
-What team?
-Don't be like this. Grow up.
[chuckles]
Ladies, welcome to my wine farm.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
[in Sotho] Thank you so much.
[in English] So, what are we on today?
Me and my really big head want
to give you an amazing time today.
And I'm not talking about
the one on my shoulders.
[clears throat] You heard that.
-The whole thing.
-[Dineo] Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
Ladies, please.
-Make yourself at home.
-Ah, Khai.
[chuckles]
This is why we shouldn't do drugs.
-[in Sotho] Right!
-[phone vibrating]
[squeals, in English] Hi, Maxie.
Oh, you can not talk to Max.
[in Sotho] Why?
Because...
Noni is fighting with him.
[in English] And she's not talking to him.
So, you can't talk to him either.
And also, you can't talk to her
about not talking to him. Got it?
-No.
-Bontle!
Babes, this is a phone-free weekend.
[in Sotho]
Actually, I'm taking this phone.
[in English] It's a crutch.
It's holding you back, babe.
Free yourself.
[in Sotho]
Okay, let me call home and tell them.
-[in English] Be free.
-Dineo!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Brookdale 16 white, Field Blend.
Lovely, fresh and floral
blended white wine.
Easy on the hangover. So, please enjoy.
My boy.
Mmm.
Wow, this is actually pretty good.
[Sasa] Mmm.
You see? I'm not just a big head.
I have a big brain too.
Oh, really? So, is it this big?
Or is it this big?
Uh, can we not objectify this man
at his workplace, please?
Wow.
So, this attitude is for everyone?
Aw, man.
I thought I was special.
This is not about you. Okay?
Yes, you're right.
I think we've both established
that this is about my really big head.
[laughs]
[chuckles] I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Can I be excused?
Ow.
Hey, baby girl, more wine, please.
[in Xhosa] But Noni, I told you that...
[in English] ...this was a messy ass plan.
[scoffs]
She's just being stubborn.
[in Xhosa]
You really don't know Dini, hey.
[Noni, in English] I was there when she
had a panic attack over her exams.
I'm the person she called
when she lost her virginity.
I know the most embarrassing
thing that happened to her
when she was nine years old.
Yeah, but do you know her new boss's name?
[in Xhosa]
Do you know that she has videos...
[in English] ...on what to do
when you choke while living alone?
Or that she gets sunflowers every week
to put on her mother's grave?
[in Xhosa]
Did you know that her old laptop
would take 15 minutes to switch on.
[in English]
That's why I got her a new one.
[in Xhosa] She doesn't need a man, Noni.
She needs you.
And you can't see it.
-[in English] Mmm. Khai.
-Yes.
[in Xhosa] Tell me. Don't you have
anything stronger than wine?
[in English] Yes, I have gin.
On the other side.
-Let's go.
-[Sasa] That's the spirit.
[chair scrapes]
[burps] Ooh!
[in Sotho] No, please. Gross.
[in Sotho] That damn sea water.
[sucks teeth]
[groans]
Dineo.
-Dineo.
-Mmm.
[sighs] I...
Okay, I don't know what's gotten into me.
This whole thing of keeping secrets.
And... And setting you up like that.
That was... [exhales]
I'm the worst friend. Okay?
Mm-mmm.
No.
I am.
Uh... Noni.
Okay. At the... At the street bash.
Guys! Hey. Listen.
-What?
-Dineo. Dineo.
Stop fighting.
[in Sotho] What are you doing?
You're gonna need her
when you hate your husband.
And you're gonna need her
when you hate your kids!
[in English] You're gonna need each other.
[scoffs]
Why are you even married, Bontle?
Yeah, man, Cuz.
[in Sotho] You've been going wild
since you've had your visa.
[in English] Like, you're happier without
your husband and your kids.
Look, do I enjoy being away
from my husband and kids?
Hell yeah.
But I also like going back home
to sanity. To a family.
To love.
My life is full, girl.
So, life is empty if you're single?
No.
Life is empty if you don't choose
what makes you happy.
And it's harder without friends.
[scoffs] Cuz.
[Bontle] Hmm?
[in Sotho]
How did I miss that you were this deep?
[in English] That's 'cause I got married
and you stopped calling.
Khai!
[in Sotho] I need a refill.
[in Xhosa] Which are your favorite grapes?
[in English]
Like Shiraz, Cabernet Sau... Shit.
Max!
[squeals] Maxie!
What are you doing here?
-[Noni] Max, what?
-What?
What? Did something happen?
Seriously?
[in Xhosa] You send me what you sent me,
then you block me and tell
your friends to avoid me.
I've been living in Sasa's IG stories
to track you down.
[in English] What are you talking about?
Max. It's not Noni's fault.
You blocked me.
[in Xhosa]
We've been together for so many years
and I still have to beg you
to be in this with me.
[in Sotho] We're getting married.
We're moving.
What exactly do you want?
[in Xhosa] Noni? Why are you speaking
as though you're doing me a favor?
You're not doing me a favor.
I want someone who actually
wants to be with me.
[in English] I do.
That's not what it sounded like
in the video, is it?
What video?
[in Xhosa] If you don't wanna get married,
it's fine. You don't have to.
Do what you want to do.
[in English] You're free.
-What video?
-Max!
Wait, I... I sent the video.
[gasps]
And I blocked you.
I want to see this video.
Uh... [clears throat] Uh... Noni.
The ring doesn't even fit.
My finger doesn't want this.
I don't even want this.
And I can't even tell Max
because he's so in love with me.
Because he thinks I'm so amazing.
[Dineo] I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I...
[grunts]
I...
Noni, I was high when I sent the video.
[in Sotho] Leave me.
[groans]
[Dineo, in English] Noni, wait!
Noni.
Noni, I've learned my lesson. Okay?
No more... No more drugs.
No more street bashes.
You know what? No more Cape Town.
Uh... I... I do have
that conference in three months.
So, yes, no. But after that, I'm-I'm done.
Noni, I'm not coming back.
Friend, just wait. Say something.
You know, people warn you
about jealous friends.
I just never thought
it would be you, Dineo.
I am not jealous of you.
You hate that I have a man
who wants to marry me.
All you have is some promise ring
that you bought yourself.
Says the woman who refuses
to wear her engagement ring.
It doesn't fit.
Marriage doesn't fit!
Yeah, your words.
-You know what? I did you a favor.
-Huh? Oh.
Oh, so you wanted to sabotage my marriage?
-No, no, no, no. No, no.
-That's why you sent that video.
No, I didn't mean
to send that stupid video.
-You wanted him to be angry at me.
-No.
You wanted him to break up with me so that
I could be single and sad, just like you.
Just say it.
Yes. Yes, fine.
I wanted him to break up with you.
Because that way, I'd get you back,
I'd get my friend back.
[sighs] Noni, look at you.
You've become this woman
that you used to hate.
Grow up, Dineo.
People change.
It's called life.
[clicks tongue]
Well...
Noni. [pants]
You forget I know you.
Yeah. That video...
That was the real you. And Max knows it.
Just admit it.
You don't even like this thing.
-You don't even want to get married.
-I do!
-No, you don't!
-[grunts]
-My ring.
-Shit.
Ah, shit. Uh...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
We'll find it. It's just a ring.
We'll find it.
It... It's just a ring.
-It's okay. It's...
-Shit...
-Oh. Oh, oh, there.
-No. Stop.
Here we go.
Okay fine. Fine.
[in Sotho] Let me help you.
[in English] Okay, stop. Dineo. Dineo.
Okay.
Okay, just don't go.
Noni, you're all I have.
I can't be everything to you, Dineo.
We have to learn
to let each other move on.
I love you, Dineo.
But I have to go home.
[sobs]
No.
[emotional music plays]
[breathes shakily]
[airplane engine whirs]
-Yes! Yes!
-[beeping]
[laughs]
Hey!
Oh. Baba. Hey, you're back.
[in Sotho]
You're back? Ow! Ow! Ow! [groans]
You came back so soon?
Yeah, the bachelorette was a flop.
[in English] But that doesn't matter.
Lefa.
[in Sotho] I raised these kids alone...
[in English] ...for eight whole years!
And you deserve a break.
-Yes, I deserve a holiday. Okay?
-Yeah.
[in Sotho] And listen, baby.
I was calling you nonstop.
[in English]
I want to say I'm so sorry about that.
[in Sotho]
And when you weren't answering my calls...
[in English] ...I kind of figured them out.
No, Lefa, no.
You're ruining this.
Look, I had this whole speech, okay?
-[in Sotho] Listen... Listen, honey.
-[in English] And frankly...
I got you. I do. I got you.
Yeah?
And, yoh, Baba...
[in Sotho] ...I saw your photos and...
[in English] ...Cape Town Bontle is hot.
[both chuckle]
-Baby. Come on.
-[chuckles]
[child, in Sotho] Papa! I want to poop!
[sighs] Not poop.
[sighs] These kids have worms.
[in English] I'm telling you.
-[in English] I'll be back.
-[sighs]
-[in Sotho] Hurry up.
-Mmm.
There's something
I wanna show you that I saw...
Ooh, Bontle.
I'll be waiting like this.
No, the poop can wait.
[Bontle scoffs]
[sighs]
Max.
[in Xhosa] Why did you agree?
[in English]
Why didn't you just reject me?
It would have been better
than hearing that video.
You know how I feel about marriage,
so why would you even ask?
For love.
[scoffs] Max.
[both sigh]
You say that you have to keep
begging me to be in this with you.
How am I not in this with you?
We live together.
I could be in the streets, but I'm
on the sofa watching true crime with you.
When I buy groceries,
I remember your beard oil.
Your name is all over my policies.
What more is a certificate
going to give you?
What must I change to just prove
to you that I'm here?
I don't want you to change.
Then what do you want?
I want you.
-You know you always have me.
-[gentle music plays]
I'm here.
What if you hate it in Kenya?
I'll just seduce you
into coming back to Joburg.
Either way, you are stuck with me.
So...
you're still coming with me to Kenya?
[in Xhosa] Oh, I'll be your...
[in English] ...unmarried whore in Kenya.
-Oh, yeah. Mmm.
-Yeah.
[moans, chuckles]
[gasps]
But if you ever propose
to me again, we're done.
-Done.
-O... Okay. Okay.
[in Xhosa] So you're sure about this move?
[in English] Yeah.
Done with Jozi, anyway.
Done with Joburg or Dineo?
Both. [in Zulu] Same thing.
[in English] Okay.
Speaking of...
-Mmm.
-Mmm.
-Oh.
-Mmm.
-Mm-hmm. Mmm.
-Oh.
-[speaks indistinctly] -[groans]
[moans]
Whoa.
[in Xhosa] This is just 6, where's my 9?
[in English]
You still want me to come to Kenya?
-Yes, ma'am.
-Ah!
[exclaims, speaks Swahili] Karibu Sana.
[in English] Khai!
Khai!
Hmm?
-Hey!
-Dineo?
-Come.
-At this time? What the...
[sighs] Dineo.
Hey. Open.
-Yes.
-Open.
-You need to move.
-Oh. Okay.
[lock clicks]
-Mmm. Hi.
-Hi.
-Are you okay?
-I'm good.
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Whoa.
Hey, hey. Hey. What?
Whoa.
What? What?
You don't want me?
No. Not when you're drunk
and crying like this. No.
[clicks tongue] Oh.
Oh, man. I...
I didn't mean it like that.
I mean that I want to see you
cry tears of ecstasy.
[chuckles]
You rate yourself, right?
-It's called self-love.
-Mmm.
Just like you and that ring of yours.
[sighs, blows raspberry]
[exhales]
This ring is not self-love. [sighs]
It's a reminder of many, many,
many, many heartbreaks.
I don't need a reminder of that.
-As if anyone's ever broken your heart.
-[sighs]
[both scoff]
My wife did.
[emotional music plays]
I was working on getting her
through school and, uh, she...
She was working on top of my best friend.
Oof. Ouch.
[chuckles]
Hey. Do you miss the married Khai?
Mmm?
-No.
-No?
No, that dude, no.
[chuckles]
That guy... That guy went to his ex's
workplace to declare his love publicly
with roses in his hands.
And he still got dumped.
-[scoffs] -So no.
[in Sotho] You know...
if you're able to embarrass yourself
in front of others...
Hmm.
...because of love.
[in English]
That's when you know you're down bad.
Khai, can I stay here tonight?
I don't want to be alone.
Sure.
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
[groans, in Sotho] What's wrong?
[in English] I, uh, I can't find my ring.
It's just a ring.
We'll find it later.
Mm-mmm. No, it's not just a ring.
Okay? It's a promise.
It's a reminder of heartbreak.
That shit has bad vibes. Let it go.
-Khai, did you take my ring?
-No.
-Did you take my ring?
-No.
-I know how much it means to you.
-Ugh, please don't do that.
Don't do that. You don't care about me.
You just want to sleep with me
and then move on to the next one.
[in Sotho] Whoa.
[in English]
Dineo, you came knocking at my door.
I have DMs full of women.
I don't need you.
Right, right. Because it's all of you men
who are innocent.
And all of us women
who are the-the problem.
Right? Women who trust you and love you.
Dineo, I'm not those
other guys that left you.
I was here for you.
Even your best friend went running.
[gasps]
Okay, I didn't mean it like that.
[groans]
I didn't mean it like that.
Dineo, you keep punishing people
because you're lonely.
[sighs]
Khai, you're just a little boy.
Okay? A little boy who uses women
to make himself feel big.
-Okay.
-Mmm.
-I think it's time for you to leave.
-[scoffs]
[sighs]
You're more than this, Dineo.
And I really wish you could see that,
because I do.
No, I'm not.
[door opens]
-[sighs] -[door closes]
[mutters]
[door opens]
[clears throat]
-[door closes] -[chuckles]
[crying]
[door unlocks]
[Auntie] Nini. Nini, Nini.
[in Sotho]
It's me, your aunt, not burglars.
Sasa told me where to get the key.
Nini.
My goodness.
I heard that you and Noni
had a disagreement.
What happened? [sighs]
Auntie... [in English] ...why does everyone
I love keep leaving me?
Mm-mmm.
[in Sotho] No, Nini, that's not true.
It's true, Auntie! Dad.
-[in English] Every boyfriend I ever had.
-[scoffs]
[in Sotho] Mom. Now, it's Noni.
[in English] My best friend.
-This means I'm alone.
-Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
-[cries, in English] I'm alone, I'm alone.
-You are not alone... [in Sotho] ...my child.
Listen, listen.
You know, Nini, especially relationships
my baby, they are like
January to December.
There are seasons. We have...
Winter, summer, dust!
But they all come and go, right?
[in English]
It's got nothing to do with you.
[in Sotho] It's nature. We must accept it.
What about Noni?
Noni? [in English] Okay.
[in Sotho] With Noni,
it's exactly like the seasons I mentioned.
Yes, it's a season where Noni is leaving.
But you shouldn't allow it
to be a season that ends.
You and her need to sort your issues out.
And stop playing cat and mouse.
[in English] Hey?
[in Sotho] Nini, please lose
this silly ring you call a promise ring.
What is it even? This thing is a prison,
man!
-[phone vibrating] -Eish.
I wonder who it is.
I know that it's the society group ladies
looking for money.
Yoh! Wow, how could I forget!
Do you have 150?
I left my Uber driver hunk waiting
downstairs.
-Please, my child.
-[chuckles]
[in English] Please help. [chuckles]
[in Sotho]
I like that you're laughing. You see?
-[laughing]
-We are having fun. Thank you.
[in English] I'll see you downstairs,
okay?
Why would your parents invite us
out to lunch now?
Hmm? You think they know
our engagement's off?
Hmm. How would they know?
-I don't... Uh, they don't know.
-I don't know. Okay.
Surprise!
-Uh, this is awkward.
-[cheering]
Yeah, you think this is a good time to
tell them that we're not getting married?
Um, yeah, I think... I think this
would be the best time to do that.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah. Yeah.
[cheering continues]
[ululating]
Welcome to your
engagement-slash-farewell party.
You organized this?
[Dineo] Yes, I did.
And trust me,
the guest list was much bigger,
but I only thought about this last night.
And apparently, these boring married
people are the only ones without lives.
-Hey, you!
-Ouch!
-Who are you calling boring?
-[in Sotho] I mean,
-we also do go to bed by nine. So...
-You see?
-But not last night though...
-[in English] You know it.
-[laughs] -[children screaming]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Hey! Hey!
-Stop running around!
-[child] Leave me alone!
Hey.
I'm sorry for what I did.
But Noni, you know you're my whole heart.
Right?
And I... I... I guess I thought you leaving
would break it.
But...
all relationships have seasons.
And no matter the season, I choose
to be your very messy best friend.
-Forever.
-[chuckles]
Like not even Kenya
could keep us apart, okay?
So let's fill up that home affairs office
and get these two married!
-Yeah!
-[cheering]
-Friend, this is so sweet.
-[Dineo chuckles]
But we're not getting married anymore.
-[gasping, chattering] -What?
Yeah... Yeah, this whole marriage thing
is just... not our thing, you know.
[in Sotho] We're going to stay together
unmarried for life.
Unmarried? I knew it. [chuckles]
You see, I know my child.
She won't stop shaming us.
[in Xhosa] My son is the same.
[in English]
They're perfect for each other.
Yeah, that's right.
-Hey, Max, disappear.
-I'll leave you ladies to it.
So this is totally my fault, isn't it?
-Yes, it is.
-[scoffs]
[chuckles]
That thing you did,
sending the video, was really messed up.
But it did force us
to be honest with each other.
And honestly, friend, we don't need
a certificate to prove our commitment.
-We have sex for that.
-Okay.
-Aw. That's gonna change.
-[chuckles]
But that sucks, I was really hoping
to be your maid of honor.
Oh, please.
You are glad I'm not getting married.
Come on, let all of your teeth show.
-[laughs] -[Bontle chuckles]
-Okay, fine.
-Yes.
-Aw. [sighs]
-[squeals]
So, what season are you in
with Mr. Wine Farm?
I don't know, Noni. I don't know. What
if... What if he's another Mr. Wrong? Hmm?
Listen, I know I said old Dineo
was a fool for love, okay?
But you're not that woman anymore.
And you don't need a man.
But if you want him, go for it.
I mean...
We never really finished
our bachelorette celebration, right?
[upbeat music plays]
Right?
-Right!
-[cheering]
-Whoa, hey.
-[chuckling]
[in Xhosa] I'm so glad that you came back.
[both squeal]
Oh, babe, this is vibe!
[in English]
No wonder you dragged us down here!
Guys, should we split up
and look for Khai?
[in Xhosa] No need.
[in English] Follow me.
[in Sotho] Baba. Let's ask Shaka Zulu
where he got that baby oil.
I want to see it all over you tonight.
[in English] Baby.
[in Sotho]
Oh, I really like Cape Town Bontle!
-[in English] Let's go!
-[laughs]
[dance music plays]
Babe.
-Where is he?
-[in Xhosa] He was just here.
[in English] Okay, okay.
-[in Xhosa] He's not answering his phone.
-[groans]
No problem. He's not lost.
Let's just chill out,
enjoy some drinks and wait for him.
Does this VVIP have an open bar?
No, man!
[in English]
You're turning into Aunt Gontse.
-[laughing] -[growls]
I'm not waiting.
-[footsteps departing]
-[in Xhosa] Where's she going?
[in English] To get her man.
[emcee]
Make some noise for Mvelo Makhanya!
[cheering]
That's what I'm talking about.
Up next, our very own resident DJ.
Make some noise for DJ Shades!
[exclaims]
-[microphone feedback]
-Not you again.
Sorry. Khai?
Khai?
My sister. Please don't start
with your funny stunt.
No, I'm sorry. Uh, listen.
I-I just need five minutes, okay?
I'm looking for the event owner.
-It's an emergency.
-Okay.
Please? Thank you.
Khai, wherever you are...
I got rid of the ring.
See?
And I believe in love again.
Uh... Not that I'm in love with you.
I'm not in love with you.
-You're not that good in bed.
-[gasping]
Wow!
[chuckling, gasping]
Okay, my sister, for our sake,
can you please wrap it up like
a condom now? Thank you.
Yes. What I want to say is,
I really like you a lot.
And it'll probably end badly.
But, I'd rather have a horrible
breakup with you than pretend
that I don't believe in love.
-Aw.
-So...
So if you're interested in potentially
breaking up with me in the future.
Oh, God.
Here I am!
Khai! Khai!
[all chanting] Khai! Khai! Khai!
Khai! Khai! Khai! Khai!
-[whistling] -[cheering]
[cheering]
Khai! Khai! Khai! Khai! Khai!
You know that you could've
just called me and said, "I'm sorry."
Yeah... Okay... So, I know. What...
-[cheering] -[applause]
[romantic music plays]
[squealing]
DJ! We wanna party!
[partygoers] DJ! We wanna party!
[lively music plays]
[cheering]
-You're single, what?
-[vocalizing]
Seriously, what?
Seriously Single Too, baby.
[laughing]