Seven Cemeteries (2024) Movie Script
1
(wind whistling)
(dramatic music)
(door closes)
- Babe, we're just talking.
- [Carmela] I'm
calling the police.
- Just stay quiet,
get behind me.
- (speaking foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
- Buenos das, Matteo.
- Buenos das, Abuelo.
I didn't think you'd
be back so soon.
- On my age, time is not
something you take for granted.
You have an answer for me?
- Your offer is
very generous seor.
But I cannot accept.
Our family has worked
this land for generations.
It's all we have.
But that's worth a
lot more than money.
- Family, pride, history.
I can respect all those things.
- (speaking foreign language)
- Of course.
(suspenseful music)
But you misunderstand one thing.
This wasn't a negotiation.
- No!
No, no, no, no, no!
No!
Matteo!
- Look at me cabrn.
I want my face to be
the last thing you see.
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- No, no!
(Carmela crying)
- I have a new offer.
Much simpler.
Turn over your ranch or uh...
this.
My men will be back at
dawn for your answer.
(Carmela sobs)
Your choice.
Adis seorita.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
- No, no!
Vamanos.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(camera clicks)
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
(men speaking foreign language)
(gun clicks)
- You know what?
I'd best be going.
- Santana Bravo.
My husband Matteo
sent you that note.
That's his blood on the ground.
I need protection.
I can pay you.
- Protection, from who?
- El Abuelo.
He wants my ranch and he'll
be back at dawn to take it.
- Lady.
Unless you've got an
army in your pocket,
I suggest you just
give him what he wants.
Call it a day.
- I can't do that.
Not anymore.
(dramatic music)
- I'm sorry.
What you need, I ain't got.
(dramatic music)
(siren wails)
- Everything all right, Carmela?
Mr. Bravo, heard you just
got released from Huntsville.
- That's right, sir.
- He came looking for work.
I told him we had none and
that was the end of it.
- That Matteo's old Henry rifle?
- Like I said.
- All the same, I
think we'd best bring
Mr. Bravo back to the
station, have a little chat.
- Alright sir, just turn
on that body camera.
- Funny thing.
It was working fine this
morning, but oh well.
Theirs too.
Go on now, get in.
I said get in.
I ain't going to ask you again.
- Unless you got a warrant Jake,
you can get off my property.
- You might want to think
twice about pointing
that blunderbuss at an
officer of the law, Carmela.
Assuming it'd actually fire.
(sheriff grunts)
I'll tell you what...
Let's just forget
the whole thing.
The lady here obviously doesn't
wanna press any charges.
You're free to go.
(Bravo groans)
(Bravo grunts)
That's for all the times
you didn't get busted.
(Bravo groans)
Now get.
Not that way.
That way.
- [Carmela] Jake.
Just seeing him off.
You believe in justice Bravo?
That there's somebody
bigger than both of us
making sure that
the good prevail
and the bad get there
just desserts?
Take this old hog killer...
Probably ain't been
fired in a decade.
Got no idea if it
still even shoot.
Now it stands to
reason that if there's
a grand design in heaven,
all I gotta do is pull the
trigger and find out what it is.
What do you think Bravo?
(gun clicks)
End of the line...
Or are you destined for
better things?
(suspenseful music)
(gun clicks)
Well damn, Susie.
Maybe this is your
lucky day after all.
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
Well hallelujah.
(dramatic music)
Sorry son of a bitch.
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
(Bravo groans)
(gun clicks)
(dramatic music)
(gun clicks)
By the way, El Abuelo
sends his regards.
(dramatic music)
I'm sorry you had to be
a part of this Carmela.
Truly am.
- Fuck you Jake.
(Bravo grunting)
(wind whistling)
(dramatic music)
(Bravo breathes heavily)
(birds chirping)
(truck door closes)
(engine rumbling)
(Bravo groaning)
(Bravo groaning)
(dog barking)
(door opens)
- You're up.
Listen, sorry I couldn't
keep the kidney.
Okay?
It's over there in a
mason jar if you want it.
Keepsake or whatever.
It's not like I could
sell it or anything.
Smells like mezcal and rat piss.
Anyway, welcome back.
- What if I didn't
wanna be back?
- Well, maybe I
don't wanna squeeze
my dog's anal glands
to make healing paste.
Like mi esposa,
Miguel over there.
He didn't wanna come back,
Did you, Miguelito?
(chair creaks)
- Oh shit.
- Don't let the silent
treatment fool you.
He'll talk the hide off
a cow when he gets going.
Ain't that right (speaking
foreign language)?
You know I hate that.
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
- [Bravo] Ah, what the fuck?
- Now go get me some corn.
- Bruja.
- I prefer (speaking
foreign language).
But bruja works, as
does enchantress.
- You're an old wives tale.
- Hmm.
- [Bravo] I'm dead.
I'm fucking dead.
Like him, I'm dead, fuck.
(Bravo cries out)
- You feel that pendejo?
That's pain.
That's what the dead crave most.
They want to feel
again, to feel anything.
You consider yourself lucky
that I got to you just in time.
Like baby cakes over here,
why do you think he doesn't
just walk out the door
and keep right on going, eh?
- Ah (speaking foreign
language), here it goes.
- Because he knows that
I could give him life.
And not just any life,
Not like you're
walking dead variety.
I mean real life.
The kind that you're born into.
Full of pain and joy
and satisfying sex.
But first, he has to earn it.
- She is pure fucking evil.
- Don't be so dramatic honey.
- If you're looking
for another play thing,
forget it, I'm not playing.
- I'm looking for a man.
Who can stand up to El Abuelo.
I know who you are, Bravo.
And what he did to you.
I know what he did to your wife.
(Bravo cries out)
- You don't know shit.
Every day I spent in that cell,
I dreamt of different
ways he was dying.
But dreaming and doing
are two different things.
- But you are a legend Bravo.
Legends, they don't give up.
They don't quit.
- They do now.
- I don't believe you.
- Back then I had a crew,
(speaking foreign language)
had my back, no matter what.
Now, I'm nothing
like I used to be.
- Well then you need a new crew.
And a kick in the ass.
- There's nobody
alive crazy enough
to stand up to Abuelo.
- Alive, maybe not.
- No.
(witch chuckles)
Nah, no way.
No fucking way.
- Come on, come on,
here, drink this.
Drink it, you'll feel better.
I squeezed it just for you.
(Bravo gags)
Vamos, vamos, get dressed.
(dramatic music)
- [Guadalupe] Santana.
- [Bravo] Lupe.
(dramatic music)
- The Aztecs believed that the
sun gave life to all things.
But the sun's light could
not reach the underworld
and the souls who
were trapped there.
For that, they needed
the mother of all blades.
Blessed by the sun
God, Huitzilopochtli.
Only human blood can
harness the sun's power
and channel it down to
the earth and create--
- Is there a shorter version?
Cause we only got till dawn
to save this lady's farm.
Just stand over a
grave and bleed.
That's it.
- That's it, no,
no special words?
- Ouch.
- I'm gonna need your
keys, take your truck.
- Yes, here.
- [Bravo] And I'm
gonna take him with me.
- Ah, Miguel?
(scoffs) He is useless as
week old fish.
- Yeah, but he
can stop a bullet.
That's good for starters.
(bruja groans)
- Bring him back in one
piece and you know the piece.
(dramatic music)
- So what's it like?
- What?
- Being dead.
- Like you're
locked in the trunk
of your stepdad's
Buick Century Regal.
I know, weirdly specific, right?
- And now?
- You mean being one
of the living dead...
(Bravo groans)
It wears a bit thin
after a while, for sure.
But I kind of like it in a way.
No pain, no expectations.
- Wish I didn't feel any pain.
(Miguel grunts)
(dramatic music)
Are you looking?
- I don't know his name.
- Eugene, his name is Eugene.
(dramatic music)
- [Miguel] Friend of yours?
- Hardly, I put him there.
- Hell of a first draft pick.
(dramatic music)
- [Bravo] I must be
gone in the head.
(Bravo grunts)
(dramatic music)
(dirt steaming)
- Hmm.
- What?
- Just never got to enjoy the
process from up here before.
(dramatic music)
You might want to
stand back a little.
(dramatic music)
- What the hell?
- A little more.
A lot more.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(rumbling)
More back!
(dramatic music)
(explosion)
- [Bravo] Holy shit!
(dramatic music)
- Perhaps you use
too much blood.
(Eugene grunting)
(dramatic music)
(Eugene grunting)
(upbeat music)
(camera clicks)
- Wait a minute.
(upbeat playful music)
I was dead?
- Crazy, right?
- Did you do this?
Bravo.
- Easy now big fella.
(Eugene growls)
(shovel thuds)
- Damn, Bravo.
You still hit like a bitch.
(shovel thuds)
Oh, that felt good.
Come on!
- All right, easy, easy.
(shovel thuds)
(Eugene chuckles)
- I didn't feel a thing.
Whatever you did
to me, I liked it.
I'm back!
- This ain't no free ride.
- Huh?
- I got a job for you.
- No, see this dog
don't bark for nobody.
Especially not your ass.
You see the world is going to
remember Eugene B...
...Dobroz!
- [Bravo] I'd think
about that Hoss!
One week in the Texas sun,
you're gonna fall
apart like pulled pork.
Only thing the world
will remember about you
is your smell.
- What the hell you
know about that?
- I can give you life.
Real life.
What you got right now,
just a down payment.
- So when do I get paid in full?
- When the job's done.
- Oh hell no.
Man, I ain't going
nowhere looking like
the fucking butler
from the Addams family.
- If the shoe fits.
(Miguel chuckles)
- [Eugene] Who the fuck is he?
You know I can rip
your head clean off,
right here, right now.
Shit down your neck and
it wouldn't mean nothing.
- Actually you couldn't.
The shitting part.
- Listen here pencil neck.
Why don't you do yourself a
favor and shut the fuck up?
(dramatic music)
(insects chirring)
So how does this
zombie shit work?
- [Miguel] I don't think of
myself as a zombie.
More like a revenant.
Like DiCaprio minus the bear.
- So we can't die?
Shot in the head or nothing?
- Honestly, I've taken
a bunch of bullets
but none to the brain.
Problem jefe?
- Damn!
- You know what I, I know
he's around here somewhere.
I just don't know exactly where.
- What's his name again?
- He wasn't buried
under his real name.
- Hmm.
- Had to do with his
fortune in red diamonds
that went missing when he
did his last bank robbery.
(Bravo sighs)
- [Miguel] Marty Philander.
Tobo Wallace.
Whoa, Tommy Lasorda.
I didn't know he
was buried here.
- Tommy Lasorda.
- [Miguel] With a real
crappy headstone too.
(upbeat music)
(camera clicks)
(camera clicks)
- Yep, dead as disco.
- So why Tommy Lasorda?
- Well you know I've
always been a Braves fan.
So Hank Aaron was
my first choice.
- You wouldn't dare.
- You look familiar.
Do I know you?
Oh yeah.
Used to be tight with the
H town mob back in the day.
- What's it to you?
- Yeah, you're the
dumb motherfucker
tried to ice my man Bravo here.
How'd that work out for you?
(Tommy laughs)
(dramatic music)
(men yelling)
(Tommy laughs)
(Tommy groans)
Oh shit!
(car scraping)
[Tommy] Oh my neck!
- Sons a bitches!
- [Tommy] Dude,
help me out here.
- Listen!
You two pull that shit again,
and I'm putting you
both back in the ground.
Damn.
- Sorry compadre.
- Sorry, ain't getting it.
What are they gonna do now?
(Tommy sighs)
(neck cracks)
- There.
(Miguel groans)
- These idiots.
(neck cracks)
- Aw.
(dramatic music)
(people speaking in
foreign language)
- She won't be alone,
I fight with her.
- (speaking foreign language)
I can't ask you to stay.
- Then you can't
ask me to leave.
If this is where
I die, so be it.
My life has been good.
Well not that good,
but good.
Carmela, there are
no time for tears.
We have work to do, come.
- Gracias, gracias.
- So what now?
- It looks like hitchhiking
is pretty much off the table.
- Hey, look what I found.
- They buried you
with your phone?
- Yeah, I guess so.
See if it works.
(phone buttons beeping)
Wakey, wakey my
little chupacabra.
(woman screams)
I'm back.
(Tommy laughs)
My ex, I like fucking with her.
Oh shit.
Dead battery.
- Tommy,
you had a phone and
you call your ex?
What the hell is wrong with you?
We got five hours to sun up.
More cemeteries
to hit, and you--
- Hey, gonna stop right?
(Tommy thuds)
(people screaming)
- You get 20 to life in
this state for hit and run.
- [Tommy] Hello pretty ladies.
(woman screaming)
Allow me to escort you
outta your carriage.
We need a ringer.
I mean a veritable,
bonafide superstar.
- What about Quasimodo?
(dramatic music)
- Quasimodo the wrestler?
- I know where he's buried.
- What?
Let's dig him up.
(dramatic music)
(Quasimodo groans)
What the?
(dramatic music)
- (speaking foreign language)
- Yeah, I've been
asking the same thing.
(speaking foreign language)
- [Tommy] What's happening?
- Shh, he's making the pitch.
- (speaking foreign language)
- Her name of Dolores.
- (speaking foreign language)
- She was his Juliet.
- (speaking foreign language)
- The love of his life.
He died for her and
now he wants her back.
- What?
This ain't fantasy island.
We need fighters, not lovers.
- (Miguel speaking
foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
- In the ring they
call her the Banshee.
- (speaking foreign language)
- She can kill six men
with a number two pencil.
- (speaking foreign language)
- A dozen more if she
had a pencil sharpener.
(Tommy chuckles)
- Hell, that's my kind
of woman, but still.
- (speaking foreign language)
- He says you get them
both, or you get neither.
- We can go for a two for.
(dramatic music)
(vomiting)
- Oh.
That's the Banshee?
- That's her.
- Dolores.
(Dolores coughs)
Mi amor.
- [Tommy] Oh!
(Dolores crying)
- [Quasimodo] Mi amor!
- (speaking foreign language)
(Dolores groans)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
- [Voices] Quasimodo,
Banshee!
- What if I killed
myself to be free of you?
What do you think of that?
- [Tommy] Oh, you are looking at
350 pounds of sad right there.
- You're not helping cabrn.
- Hey!
Don't wind me up, Missy,
I don't wind down easy.
- Listen.
- Plus I have penchant
for marriage, all right?
(finger cracks)
Ow!
- Put a ring on it, puta.
- Damn it!
That's my best nose picker.
That little, I'll bite
that nose of yours off
and stick it up your ass.
- [Dolores] Oh, you wanna try?
Come on.
- (speaking foreign language)
- Hey!
Shut the fuck up!
(dramatic music)
- [Carmela] Hey...
- 15.
That's it.
That's all we got.
(dramatic music)
(Carmela sighs)
- (speaking foreign language)
- Fuck man.
- (speaking foreign language)
(engine rumbling)
- You put this on
me after I was dead.
(both speaking foreign language)
Bye.
(dramatic music)
- What is he good at?
- Busting heads with a stick.
(dramatic music)
(camera clicks)
- So you a real hockey player
or you just like
playing dress up?
What's your name man?
- Stickface.
- Stickface?
What the hell
kinda name is that?
(Eugene groans)
- Like stick, plus face.
- I get it.
- [Bravo] Oh shit!
- [Tommy] Oh...
Hey, let's keep it on
the road boss.
Uh oh, why we stopping?
- [Bravo] Everybody
out, let's go.
(dramatic music)
They're here.
(dramatic music)
- Grandma, they're coming.
- Oh, my teeth.
(dramatic music)
- Buenos das, Carmela.
Hope you all had
a restful night.
Now honey, I know you ain't
happy with the choices
in front of you right now,
but it's time to
pick your switch.
What do you say you
just come on out
with your hands on your head
and we just ride on outta here.
Start over fresh.
(door thuds)
I ain't saying you ain't brave
and all, but the way I see it,
you're all hat and no
cattle in this matchup.
So El Abuelo asks you for
the very last time,
do you accept his--
(gun firing)
(men groan)
- (speaking foreign language)
(men mumbling)
What?
You weren't going to accept?
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [Man] Let's fuck her up!
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [Bravo] Hey, cabrn!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(Quasimodo yelling)
- [Dolores] Quasimodo!
(dramatic music)
(man groans)
- Fast ball.
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- Hey Miguel, get over here!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(man groans)
(dramatic music)
(men groaning)
(gun firing)
Welcome to the party Miguel.
- Ah gracias.
- Bravo, I though you were--
- Don't worry, they're with me.
- They're, they're--
- Use your words.
- Holy fuck.
- You told me to get some help.
This is what I got.
(upbeat music)
- (speaking foreign language)
(Bravo grunts)
(upbeat music)
- I'm Tommy.
- Carmela.
- (speaking foreign language)
Ma'am.
- No!
- No one's gonna help me?
(speaking foreign language)
Buenas tardes, seora.
(women chatting in
foreign language)
- [Tommy] Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck me running.
I've turned into my
fucking grandmother.
- Yep.
The sphincters pretty
much take a vacation.
- Alright, time to
put out Geppetto.
It's time for me to
turn into a real boy.
- George Foreman's got
a point there, boss.
You did make a promise.
- I said when the job was
done, it ain't done yet.
- Hold on, hold
on, hold, hold on.
Can't be moving
the goal post now.
Look, we got here
before sunrise.
We bitch smacked Abuelo's men.
The job is done.
- Abuelo's gonna be back.
He'll have
an army with him.
You afraid Eugene?
- Don't nothing scare me.
- Then prove it!
I'll keep up my end of the
deal, you keep up yours.
So what'll it be?
We're gonna save this
lady's farm or what?
(dramatic music)
- I fight with Bravo.
- I fight, Bravo.
- (speaking foreign language)
- If that grandma's in, me too.
Shoot.
- This shit ain't over Bravo.
- Alright, Miguel.
- Yeah?
- [Bravo] We need a look out.
Go out and watch the main road.
The rest of us,
we have a house to fortify
and an abuelito to kill.
Show me all the entry points.
- Entry points.
- Shut up.
(dramatic music)
- (singing in foreign language)
(singing in foreign
language continues)
(singing in foreign
language continues)
(coffee pouring)
(buttons click)
(ominous music)
(Abuelo grunts)
(blood pressure monitor beeps)
(Abuelo grunts)
- [Abuelo] Hector.
Is it your intention to kill me?
- No.
Abuelo, never.
- Then why do you come
to my home to inform me
that Santana Bravo's still alive
instead of doing
something about it?
- I mean, we couldn't.
There was, there was, there
was just nothing we could do.
- Go on.
- Well, you gotta understand
he has a new posse now.
- How many?
A hundred, 200?
- No.
Um, six or seven.
- Hundred?
- Ah, total.
(Abuelo chuckles)
- Total?
I see.
So you run away.
Pitter patter, little feet.
Like a, little girly
girl, screaming?
- No, look Abuelo,
you gotta understand
there was nothing we
could do all right?
I mean, we tried everything man.
This guy just, he, he
couldn't be stopped.
- You see that bear?
- Yeah.
- I didn't shoot him.
I killed him with a bent
stick and a pine cone.
(Abuelo chuckles)
- Abuelo, please.
- Everything can be stopped.
- Not this, this, no!
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
(gun firing)
- Uh, it helps if
you have a gun.
- We're gonna have to
board up every entrance.
Cellar?
(mysterious music)
(Bravo sighs)
(light switch clicks)
(dramatic music)
What's this?
- Tunnels.
My grandfather used these
tunnels to smuggle our family
and other people in
need across the border.
It's been sealed up for years.
Then Trump built his wall
and the cartel started
looking for ways
to move their product
across the border.
- That's why Abuelo
wants this place.
- Matteo was ready to
dynamite the thing
so they'd leave us alone.
He didn't get the chance.
(dramatic music)
(thudding)
- Is there lights?
(light switch clicks)
(dramatic music)
Why didn't you tell
me about this before?
- I don't know.
I, I guess I didn't want you
to think we were involved.
- Lady, listen, I did
28 years in prison.
18 in the hole.
I don't judge anyone.
(harmonica playing)
(upbeat music)
Oh give me a home
where the buffalo roam
(Miguel chuckles)
Where seldom is hurt
- [Miguel] Oh shit.
An the skies are not
cloudy all day
(gun clicks)
Let me guess.
Jos-a and Jos-b?
(Miguel grunts)
(accordion music playing)
- [Abuelo] Hey Manolo.
(accordion wobbles)
(upbeat accordion music)
What's wrong with your face?
- What's wrong with your face?
- Not a time for
glibness, amigo.
What happened to my men?
- Do you want the
clinical explanation?
(upbeat accordion music)
(accordion wobbles)
- Let's take a trip
to the Olive Garden.
- I love the Olive Garden.
(bone cracks)
(Miguel screams)
Stop you're hurting me.
- Who are you?
(bone cracks)
(Miguel screams)
- Look, I have a few teensy
winsy boundary issues.
- You want me to do all
five fingers?
- The thumb isn't
technically a, a finger.
- [Abuelo] Oh and
neither is the elbow.
- What?
(Miguel screams)
(Miguel laughing)
(accordion wobbles)
(Miguel chuckles)
- Shoot him in the balls.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Not the danglers.
Dito, Manolo.
Right, those are your names?
Yes, yes, like we're friends,
right we're friends!
Come on, friends!
Yes?
You, you have TikTok?
Yes, no?
We have connection, yes?
- In the mood to talk now.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
We could do that
whole TikTok thing.
Just don't shoot me in the--
(gun firing)
(Miguel screams)
(Miguel speaking
foreign language)
That was totally unnecessary.
Ah!
I'm a fucking Barbie now!
You,
you.
And since we're
being so gratuitous.
- Jesus Christ.
- [Miguel] More like Nick Fury.
(Miguel chuckles)
And to think I walked outta
the house looking like this.
(dramatic music)
- Kill him.
Kill him.
(guns firing)
(Miguel chuckles)
- Just thought you
might want to know
what you're up against.
The others are like
me, but way less chill.
(accordion wobbles)
(dramatic music)
- You have been
to see the bruja.
- The bruja has been to see me.
- Which explains the rot.
- Comes with the
package, I'm afraid.
- And they say she restores
the person to full life.
Not whatever you are.
- That's premium package.
- Is that what Bravo,
promised your compadres?
(dramatic music)
Vamanos.
(accordion wobbles)
(hammer tapping)
(country music playing on radio)
- [Grandma] Okay.
Okay.
- Well.
I oughta call this place
the stitching post.
You are a Rembrandt
of sewing, seora.
Eugene, Eugene, looking
good, look at you!
- Why don't you try to
make it look better?
- Oh, okay.
If I had a hand
- Let me ask you a question.
Do you think we can
really trust Bravo?
- I do.
- Well, you know, we
haven't even seen this bruja
and her magical frijoles.
I mean, what if
she doesn't exist?
What if he's just been
playing us this whole time?
- Guess we'll find out.
Oh man.
- Really?
- Little help?
Go on, finish up.
(music continues
playing on radio)
(machine rumbling)
- You know, it's funny
how we spend our time.
Until we lose it.
- You are a poet.
Put him in.
(Miguel grumbles)
(dramatic music)
(wood chipper rumbling)
(dramatic music)
(Miguel laughing)
(Manolo screams)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(knife slides)
- What am I doing?
I don't even wanna live.
(dramatic music)
- Everyone's in position.
We have to get inside.
- How did you do it?
How did you bring them back?
Have you ever been
married Mr. Bravo?
- Once, a long time ago.
Her name was Guadalupe.
She died 'cause she loved me.
- Wouldn't you bring
her back, if you could?
(dramatic music)
- Their back.
Huh, one car.
Unless they're superhuman
clowns or something,
color me unimpressed.
- [Eugene] One car?
- Yeah.
- Hold on, let me see.
I'll be damned.
It really is one car.
Ain't that some shit.
- Where the hell's Miguel?
- (speaking foreign language)
Get your!
(suspenseful music)
- [Tommy] Who's that?
- La bruja.
- [Tommy] Well, we
gotta do something.
- Please Bravo,
don't let me die.
Don't let me die!
Bravo, please!
He only wants you, Bravo.
- You might want do
what the lady says.
- Move mija.
(dramatic music)
(bomb beeping)
- I'm scared.
(Guadalupe crying)
He wants you, Bravo.
Don't let me die.
- [Guadalupe] Don't let me die.
- It's gonna be okay.
(bomb beeping)
- I'll take care of this.
I swear.
- [Young Bravo] I'll take care
of this, I swear.
- You're looking good.
(Guadalupe crying)
She was mine Bravo.
You of all people should
have known that.
- She made her choice.
- Sadly the wrong one
for all concerned.
Isn't it amazing how
times have changed?
I don't even need a detonator.
I just dial three.
(bomb beeping)
- Let's me and you finish this.
Abuelo, just me and you.
- Mano a mano?
Oh!
(Abuelo mutters)
Look at me.
These days, I fight for my life
just going up a
flight of stairs.
Tell me this.
How do you think your undead
friends are gonna react
when they find out their only
chance of life, goes boom.
- They'll want your
head on a stick.
- Right next to yours.
Imagine that, two brothers.
Side by side, heads on sticks.
- We were never brothers.
- Well not by
blood, but in blood.
And that's a stain
you don't wash off
no matter how hard you scrub.
(suspenseful music)
- Go, get him, go!
(suspenseful music)
- Bravo?
(speaking foreign language)
(bruja explodes)
- [Tommy] Shit!
- [Eugene] Man, this
changes everything.
- Bru gone.
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- No, no, no!
(dramatic music)
- You got some balls
coming back here.
- I'm so close.
I'm this close.
- You'll get another chance.
You will.
You still have me
and a little old lady who was
pretty good with a shotgun
and your posse.
- I have nothing
to offer them now.
- Just be honest with them.
(dramatic music)
- Time to do God's
work, brother.
Whatever the hell that means.
(dramatic music)
- [Tommy] Four!
(Tommy chuckles)
That's the best they could do?
Come on.
Hey.
What are they doing now?
- Nothing.
- [Tommy] Not a damn thing.
(suspenseful music)
- Step aside Tommy Lasorda.
- Huh?
- Gonna put some
biscuits in the basket.
- [Tommy] Oh, you go
get 'em, Stanley Cup.
He got a plan.
(suspenseful music)
- Time to get stick faced.
(suspenseful music)
Uh oh.
(Stickface explodes)
- Oh shit!
They blew up Sticky!
- Shit.
- [Tommy] I think
that was a missile.
- [Bravo] Damn it.
- [Tommy] Fuck.
They're fixing to
blow us all up.
(Tommy cries out)
- [Bravo] Son of a
bitch, that's Sticky!
- [Tommy] Was Sticky.
(dramatic music)
[Tommy] Holy shit.
Now that just ain't fair.
What are we gonna do now, Bravo?
(dramatic music)
(upbeat accordion music)
[Tommy] So what's plan B?
- Where does this
thing spit out?
- An abandoned factory
on the Mexican side.
- (soldier on radio speaking
foreign language)
(soldier on radio speaking
foreign language)
- Don't you let him get
away, you motherfucker.
- Keep moving, keep moving.
(gun firing)
- Oh shit!
(guns firing)
No woman, stay back!
- Get them!
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [Soldier on radio] I can't
get to Bravo and the woman!
- Fuck!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- [Soldier] Taking fire!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- Tommy!
(Quasimodo roars)
- Alright, Lasorda, come on.
- Ah.
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- I thought there'd be more.
- [Bravo] There will be.
Come on, any minute.
- If you stay, I stay.
- We'll be right behind you.
- No Bravo.
- Trust me, mija.
Let's go.
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Okay, let's gather
up all these grenades
and blow the hell
out of this joint.
- Not you, old friend.
You're all done here.
- Hey, this ain't down to you.
- Actually it is.
It's where we belong.
- You still got some life,
put it to good use.
- Yeah, go out there and
do something nice like,
save some kittens or something.
- [Tommy] Let's do it
again sometime.
You remember them red diamonds
that went missing during
that San Antonio job?
- Damn, you nasty.
- [Tommy] Put 'em to good use.
- [Quasimodo] (speaking
foreign language)
- Let's blow this joint.
- Like you read about.
It's been a hoot, muchacho.
(dramatic music)
(tunnel rumbling)
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- Where's Bravo?
- I don't know mija, we
got to go, we've gotta go.
(dramatic music)
- Dolores.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- [Tommy] Ahhh!!
- [Eugene] You mother--
(tunnel booming)
(dramatic music)
(Bravo groans)
- Go!
Bravo!
Bravo!
(suspenseful music)
- Carmela, no, no!
(dramatic music)
- Carmela!
(dramatic music)
(Bravo grunting)
- [Bravo] Lupe.
- No, you don't get
to die on me Bravo.
- [Grandma] (speaking
foreign language)
- Keep digging!
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Here, here!
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(Carmela grunting)
- [Grandma] Bravo.
- [Carmela] Bravo!
- [Grandma] Come on.
- [Carmela] Not breathing,
- [Grandma] I know.
- He's not breathing.
- (speaking foreign language)
(Carmela cries out)
(speaking foreign language)
- Bravo, bravo!
- I know, (speaking
foreign language).
- No!
- We have to go, we
have to go, yeah.
He's dead, sweetheart.
We have to go, come.
(dramatic music)
No.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
Take this.
(dramatic music)
(Grandma coughs)
(dramatic music)
(grandma gasps)
(dramatic music)
Come to mommy.
Come to mommy.
(speaking foreign language)
Yeah!
- Oh Bravo.
(Bravo coughing)
- I thought I was
kissing an angel.
(dramatic music)
(Carmela grunting)
(Bravo grunting)
- Vamos!
- [Abuelo] Hola, amigos.
(dramatic music)
(speaking foreign language)
Remember we used to play
here when we were kids?
Hide and seek.
Of course it was a
avocado orchard back then.
Remember when we fell off the--
(gun firing)
- (speaking foreign language)
(gun clicks)
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Kill me, I've already
died twice today.
(Abuelo chuckles)
But let her be.
- Sorry, we made a deal,
her ranch or her life.
She chose unwisely.
Like your Guadalupe.
Funny how things come
full circle, you know?
(dramatic music)
(Abuelo crying out)
(Abuelo screams)
- Miguel.
(Abuelo screaming)
For Lupe.
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
- And this is for Matteo.
(dramatic music)
Ah, ah, ah, look at me cabrn.
Look at me.
(dramatic music)
I want my face to be
the last one you see.
(dramatic music)
(hammering)
- Save me a seat by
the fire, compadres.
(speaking foreign language)
What now?
- Rebuild, somehow.
- It won't be easy.
- I'll manage.
(gentle music)
- Here, this might make
it a little easier.
Uncut red diamonds,
compliments of Tommy Lasorda.
- Where was he keeping these?
- You don't want to know.
(both chuckling)
- Tommy.
You could stay, you know.
Help out, I could
pay you, in diamonds.
(Carmela chuckles)
- No, mija, I got other plans.
I gotta go Carmelita.
(speaking foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
- I will, will.
Seora!
(speaking foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
(gentle upbeat music)
(Bravo sighs)
- I don't think there's
any place on Earth
more beautiful than this.
Unbelievable.
Most beautifulest place,
this side of heaven.
Lately mija, I've been
thinking, I'm tired.
I've done what I
was put here to do.
And now...
...I think...
I'm ready to move on.
I just want to be
with you, baby.
- Not yet, mi amor.
Your body will heal
and so will your soul.
You have so much
more to do, Santana.
(upbeat music)
- [Bravo] Hey, (speaking
foreign language).
Bravo and the hand!
(Bravo chuckles)
(upbeat music)
Look out, dead hand walking.
(Bravo laughs)
I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
(upbeat music)
Amigos till the end.
All cinco dedos.
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(wind whistling)
(dramatic music)
(door closes)
- Babe, we're just talking.
- [Carmela] I'm
calling the police.
- Just stay quiet,
get behind me.
- (speaking foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
- Buenos das, Matteo.
- Buenos das, Abuelo.
I didn't think you'd
be back so soon.
- On my age, time is not
something you take for granted.
You have an answer for me?
- Your offer is
very generous seor.
But I cannot accept.
Our family has worked
this land for generations.
It's all we have.
But that's worth a
lot more than money.
- Family, pride, history.
I can respect all those things.
- (speaking foreign language)
- Of course.
(suspenseful music)
But you misunderstand one thing.
This wasn't a negotiation.
- No!
No, no, no, no, no!
No!
Matteo!
- Look at me cabrn.
I want my face to be
the last thing you see.
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- No, no!
(Carmela crying)
- I have a new offer.
Much simpler.
Turn over your ranch or uh...
this.
My men will be back at
dawn for your answer.
(Carmela sobs)
Your choice.
Adis seorita.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
- No, no!
Vamanos.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(camera clicks)
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
(men speaking foreign language)
(gun clicks)
- You know what?
I'd best be going.
- Santana Bravo.
My husband Matteo
sent you that note.
That's his blood on the ground.
I need protection.
I can pay you.
- Protection, from who?
- El Abuelo.
He wants my ranch and he'll
be back at dawn to take it.
- Lady.
Unless you've got an
army in your pocket,
I suggest you just
give him what he wants.
Call it a day.
- I can't do that.
Not anymore.
(dramatic music)
- I'm sorry.
What you need, I ain't got.
(dramatic music)
(siren wails)
- Everything all right, Carmela?
Mr. Bravo, heard you just
got released from Huntsville.
- That's right, sir.
- He came looking for work.
I told him we had none and
that was the end of it.
- That Matteo's old Henry rifle?
- Like I said.
- All the same, I
think we'd best bring
Mr. Bravo back to the
station, have a little chat.
- Alright sir, just turn
on that body camera.
- Funny thing.
It was working fine this
morning, but oh well.
Theirs too.
Go on now, get in.
I said get in.
I ain't going to ask you again.
- Unless you got a warrant Jake,
you can get off my property.
- You might want to think
twice about pointing
that blunderbuss at an
officer of the law, Carmela.
Assuming it'd actually fire.
(sheriff grunts)
I'll tell you what...
Let's just forget
the whole thing.
The lady here obviously doesn't
wanna press any charges.
You're free to go.
(Bravo groans)
(Bravo grunts)
That's for all the times
you didn't get busted.
(Bravo groans)
Now get.
Not that way.
That way.
- [Carmela] Jake.
Just seeing him off.
You believe in justice Bravo?
That there's somebody
bigger than both of us
making sure that
the good prevail
and the bad get there
just desserts?
Take this old hog killer...
Probably ain't been
fired in a decade.
Got no idea if it
still even shoot.
Now it stands to
reason that if there's
a grand design in heaven,
all I gotta do is pull the
trigger and find out what it is.
What do you think Bravo?
(gun clicks)
End of the line...
Or are you destined for
better things?
(suspenseful music)
(gun clicks)
Well damn, Susie.
Maybe this is your
lucky day after all.
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
Well hallelujah.
(dramatic music)
Sorry son of a bitch.
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
(Bravo groans)
(gun clicks)
(dramatic music)
(gun clicks)
By the way, El Abuelo
sends his regards.
(dramatic music)
I'm sorry you had to be
a part of this Carmela.
Truly am.
- Fuck you Jake.
(Bravo grunting)
(wind whistling)
(dramatic music)
(Bravo breathes heavily)
(birds chirping)
(truck door closes)
(engine rumbling)
(Bravo groaning)
(Bravo groaning)
(dog barking)
(door opens)
- You're up.
Listen, sorry I couldn't
keep the kidney.
Okay?
It's over there in a
mason jar if you want it.
Keepsake or whatever.
It's not like I could
sell it or anything.
Smells like mezcal and rat piss.
Anyway, welcome back.
- What if I didn't
wanna be back?
- Well, maybe I
don't wanna squeeze
my dog's anal glands
to make healing paste.
Like mi esposa,
Miguel over there.
He didn't wanna come back,
Did you, Miguelito?
(chair creaks)
- Oh shit.
- Don't let the silent
treatment fool you.
He'll talk the hide off
a cow when he gets going.
Ain't that right (speaking
foreign language)?
You know I hate that.
(gun clicks)
(gun firing)
- [Bravo] Ah, what the fuck?
- Now go get me some corn.
- Bruja.
- I prefer (speaking
foreign language).
But bruja works, as
does enchantress.
- You're an old wives tale.
- Hmm.
- [Bravo] I'm dead.
I'm fucking dead.
Like him, I'm dead, fuck.
(Bravo cries out)
- You feel that pendejo?
That's pain.
That's what the dead crave most.
They want to feel
again, to feel anything.
You consider yourself lucky
that I got to you just in time.
Like baby cakes over here,
why do you think he doesn't
just walk out the door
and keep right on going, eh?
- Ah (speaking foreign
language), here it goes.
- Because he knows that
I could give him life.
And not just any life,
Not like you're
walking dead variety.
I mean real life.
The kind that you're born into.
Full of pain and joy
and satisfying sex.
But first, he has to earn it.
- She is pure fucking evil.
- Don't be so dramatic honey.
- If you're looking
for another play thing,
forget it, I'm not playing.
- I'm looking for a man.
Who can stand up to El Abuelo.
I know who you are, Bravo.
And what he did to you.
I know what he did to your wife.
(Bravo cries out)
- You don't know shit.
Every day I spent in that cell,
I dreamt of different
ways he was dying.
But dreaming and doing
are two different things.
- But you are a legend Bravo.
Legends, they don't give up.
They don't quit.
- They do now.
- I don't believe you.
- Back then I had a crew,
(speaking foreign language)
had my back, no matter what.
Now, I'm nothing
like I used to be.
- Well then you need a new crew.
And a kick in the ass.
- There's nobody
alive crazy enough
to stand up to Abuelo.
- Alive, maybe not.
- No.
(witch chuckles)
Nah, no way.
No fucking way.
- Come on, come on,
here, drink this.
Drink it, you'll feel better.
I squeezed it just for you.
(Bravo gags)
Vamos, vamos, get dressed.
(dramatic music)
- [Guadalupe] Santana.
- [Bravo] Lupe.
(dramatic music)
- The Aztecs believed that the
sun gave life to all things.
But the sun's light could
not reach the underworld
and the souls who
were trapped there.
For that, they needed
the mother of all blades.
Blessed by the sun
God, Huitzilopochtli.
Only human blood can
harness the sun's power
and channel it down to
the earth and create--
- Is there a shorter version?
Cause we only got till dawn
to save this lady's farm.
Just stand over a
grave and bleed.
That's it.
- That's it, no,
no special words?
- Ouch.
- I'm gonna need your
keys, take your truck.
- Yes, here.
- [Bravo] And I'm
gonna take him with me.
- Ah, Miguel?
(scoffs) He is useless as
week old fish.
- Yeah, but he
can stop a bullet.
That's good for starters.
(bruja groans)
- Bring him back in one
piece and you know the piece.
(dramatic music)
- So what's it like?
- What?
- Being dead.
- Like you're
locked in the trunk
of your stepdad's
Buick Century Regal.
I know, weirdly specific, right?
- And now?
- You mean being one
of the living dead...
(Bravo groans)
It wears a bit thin
after a while, for sure.
But I kind of like it in a way.
No pain, no expectations.
- Wish I didn't feel any pain.
(Miguel grunts)
(dramatic music)
Are you looking?
- I don't know his name.
- Eugene, his name is Eugene.
(dramatic music)
- [Miguel] Friend of yours?
- Hardly, I put him there.
- Hell of a first draft pick.
(dramatic music)
- [Bravo] I must be
gone in the head.
(Bravo grunts)
(dramatic music)
(dirt steaming)
- Hmm.
- What?
- Just never got to enjoy the
process from up here before.
(dramatic music)
You might want to
stand back a little.
(dramatic music)
- What the hell?
- A little more.
A lot more.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(rumbling)
More back!
(dramatic music)
(explosion)
- [Bravo] Holy shit!
(dramatic music)
- Perhaps you use
too much blood.
(Eugene grunting)
(dramatic music)
(Eugene grunting)
(upbeat music)
(camera clicks)
- Wait a minute.
(upbeat playful music)
I was dead?
- Crazy, right?
- Did you do this?
Bravo.
- Easy now big fella.
(Eugene growls)
(shovel thuds)
- Damn, Bravo.
You still hit like a bitch.
(shovel thuds)
Oh, that felt good.
Come on!
- All right, easy, easy.
(shovel thuds)
(Eugene chuckles)
- I didn't feel a thing.
Whatever you did
to me, I liked it.
I'm back!
- This ain't no free ride.
- Huh?
- I got a job for you.
- No, see this dog
don't bark for nobody.
Especially not your ass.
You see the world is going to
remember Eugene B...
...Dobroz!
- [Bravo] I'd think
about that Hoss!
One week in the Texas sun,
you're gonna fall
apart like pulled pork.
Only thing the world
will remember about you
is your smell.
- What the hell you
know about that?
- I can give you life.
Real life.
What you got right now,
just a down payment.
- So when do I get paid in full?
- When the job's done.
- Oh hell no.
Man, I ain't going
nowhere looking like
the fucking butler
from the Addams family.
- If the shoe fits.
(Miguel chuckles)
- [Eugene] Who the fuck is he?
You know I can rip
your head clean off,
right here, right now.
Shit down your neck and
it wouldn't mean nothing.
- Actually you couldn't.
The shitting part.
- Listen here pencil neck.
Why don't you do yourself a
favor and shut the fuck up?
(dramatic music)
(insects chirring)
So how does this
zombie shit work?
- [Miguel] I don't think of
myself as a zombie.
More like a revenant.
Like DiCaprio minus the bear.
- So we can't die?
Shot in the head or nothing?
- Honestly, I've taken
a bunch of bullets
but none to the brain.
Problem jefe?
- Damn!
- You know what I, I know
he's around here somewhere.
I just don't know exactly where.
- What's his name again?
- He wasn't buried
under his real name.
- Hmm.
- Had to do with his
fortune in red diamonds
that went missing when he
did his last bank robbery.
(Bravo sighs)
- [Miguel] Marty Philander.
Tobo Wallace.
Whoa, Tommy Lasorda.
I didn't know he
was buried here.
- Tommy Lasorda.
- [Miguel] With a real
crappy headstone too.
(upbeat music)
(camera clicks)
(camera clicks)
- Yep, dead as disco.
- So why Tommy Lasorda?
- Well you know I've
always been a Braves fan.
So Hank Aaron was
my first choice.
- You wouldn't dare.
- You look familiar.
Do I know you?
Oh yeah.
Used to be tight with the
H town mob back in the day.
- What's it to you?
- Yeah, you're the
dumb motherfucker
tried to ice my man Bravo here.
How'd that work out for you?
(Tommy laughs)
(dramatic music)
(men yelling)
(Tommy laughs)
(Tommy groans)
Oh shit!
(car scraping)
[Tommy] Oh my neck!
- Sons a bitches!
- [Tommy] Dude,
help me out here.
- Listen!
You two pull that shit again,
and I'm putting you
both back in the ground.
Damn.
- Sorry compadre.
- Sorry, ain't getting it.
What are they gonna do now?
(Tommy sighs)
(neck cracks)
- There.
(Miguel groans)
- These idiots.
(neck cracks)
- Aw.
(dramatic music)
(people speaking in
foreign language)
- She won't be alone,
I fight with her.
- (speaking foreign language)
I can't ask you to stay.
- Then you can't
ask me to leave.
If this is where
I die, so be it.
My life has been good.
Well not that good,
but good.
Carmela, there are
no time for tears.
We have work to do, come.
- Gracias, gracias.
- So what now?
- It looks like hitchhiking
is pretty much off the table.
- Hey, look what I found.
- They buried you
with your phone?
- Yeah, I guess so.
See if it works.
(phone buttons beeping)
Wakey, wakey my
little chupacabra.
(woman screams)
I'm back.
(Tommy laughs)
My ex, I like fucking with her.
Oh shit.
Dead battery.
- Tommy,
you had a phone and
you call your ex?
What the hell is wrong with you?
We got five hours to sun up.
More cemeteries
to hit, and you--
- Hey, gonna stop right?
(Tommy thuds)
(people screaming)
- You get 20 to life in
this state for hit and run.
- [Tommy] Hello pretty ladies.
(woman screaming)
Allow me to escort you
outta your carriage.
We need a ringer.
I mean a veritable,
bonafide superstar.
- What about Quasimodo?
(dramatic music)
- Quasimodo the wrestler?
- I know where he's buried.
- What?
Let's dig him up.
(dramatic music)
(Quasimodo groans)
What the?
(dramatic music)
- (speaking foreign language)
- Yeah, I've been
asking the same thing.
(speaking foreign language)
- [Tommy] What's happening?
- Shh, he's making the pitch.
- (speaking foreign language)
- Her name of Dolores.
- (speaking foreign language)
- She was his Juliet.
- (speaking foreign language)
- The love of his life.
He died for her and
now he wants her back.
- What?
This ain't fantasy island.
We need fighters, not lovers.
- (Miguel speaking
foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
- In the ring they
call her the Banshee.
- (speaking foreign language)
- She can kill six men
with a number two pencil.
- (speaking foreign language)
- A dozen more if she
had a pencil sharpener.
(Tommy chuckles)
- Hell, that's my kind
of woman, but still.
- (speaking foreign language)
- He says you get them
both, or you get neither.
- We can go for a two for.
(dramatic music)
(vomiting)
- Oh.
That's the Banshee?
- That's her.
- Dolores.
(Dolores coughs)
Mi amor.
- [Tommy] Oh!
(Dolores crying)
- [Quasimodo] Mi amor!
- (speaking foreign language)
(Dolores groans)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
- [Voices] Quasimodo,
Banshee!
- What if I killed
myself to be free of you?
What do you think of that?
- [Tommy] Oh, you are looking at
350 pounds of sad right there.
- You're not helping cabrn.
- Hey!
Don't wind me up, Missy,
I don't wind down easy.
- Listen.
- Plus I have penchant
for marriage, all right?
(finger cracks)
Ow!
- Put a ring on it, puta.
- Damn it!
That's my best nose picker.
That little, I'll bite
that nose of yours off
and stick it up your ass.
- [Dolores] Oh, you wanna try?
Come on.
- (speaking foreign language)
- Hey!
Shut the fuck up!
(dramatic music)
- [Carmela] Hey...
- 15.
That's it.
That's all we got.
(dramatic music)
(Carmela sighs)
- (speaking foreign language)
- Fuck man.
- (speaking foreign language)
(engine rumbling)
- You put this on
me after I was dead.
(both speaking foreign language)
Bye.
(dramatic music)
- What is he good at?
- Busting heads with a stick.
(dramatic music)
(camera clicks)
- So you a real hockey player
or you just like
playing dress up?
What's your name man?
- Stickface.
- Stickface?
What the hell
kinda name is that?
(Eugene groans)
- Like stick, plus face.
- I get it.
- [Bravo] Oh shit!
- [Tommy] Oh...
Hey, let's keep it on
the road boss.
Uh oh, why we stopping?
- [Bravo] Everybody
out, let's go.
(dramatic music)
They're here.
(dramatic music)
- Grandma, they're coming.
- Oh, my teeth.
(dramatic music)
- Buenos das, Carmela.
Hope you all had
a restful night.
Now honey, I know you ain't
happy with the choices
in front of you right now,
but it's time to
pick your switch.
What do you say you
just come on out
with your hands on your head
and we just ride on outta here.
Start over fresh.
(door thuds)
I ain't saying you ain't brave
and all, but the way I see it,
you're all hat and no
cattle in this matchup.
So El Abuelo asks you for
the very last time,
do you accept his--
(gun firing)
(men groan)
- (speaking foreign language)
(men mumbling)
What?
You weren't going to accept?
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [Man] Let's fuck her up!
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [Bravo] Hey, cabrn!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(Quasimodo yelling)
- [Dolores] Quasimodo!
(dramatic music)
(man groans)
- Fast ball.
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- Hey Miguel, get over here!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(man groans)
(dramatic music)
(men groaning)
(gun firing)
Welcome to the party Miguel.
- Ah gracias.
- Bravo, I though you were--
- Don't worry, they're with me.
- They're, they're--
- Use your words.
- Holy fuck.
- You told me to get some help.
This is what I got.
(upbeat music)
- (speaking foreign language)
(Bravo grunts)
(upbeat music)
- I'm Tommy.
- Carmela.
- (speaking foreign language)
Ma'am.
- No!
- No one's gonna help me?
(speaking foreign language)
Buenas tardes, seora.
(women chatting in
foreign language)
- [Tommy] Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck me running.
I've turned into my
fucking grandmother.
- Yep.
The sphincters pretty
much take a vacation.
- Alright, time to
put out Geppetto.
It's time for me to
turn into a real boy.
- George Foreman's got
a point there, boss.
You did make a promise.
- I said when the job was
done, it ain't done yet.
- Hold on, hold
on, hold, hold on.
Can't be moving
the goal post now.
Look, we got here
before sunrise.
We bitch smacked Abuelo's men.
The job is done.
- Abuelo's gonna be back.
He'll have
an army with him.
You afraid Eugene?
- Don't nothing scare me.
- Then prove it!
I'll keep up my end of the
deal, you keep up yours.
So what'll it be?
We're gonna save this
lady's farm or what?
(dramatic music)
- I fight with Bravo.
- I fight, Bravo.
- (speaking foreign language)
- If that grandma's in, me too.
Shoot.
- This shit ain't over Bravo.
- Alright, Miguel.
- Yeah?
- [Bravo] We need a look out.
Go out and watch the main road.
The rest of us,
we have a house to fortify
and an abuelito to kill.
Show me all the entry points.
- Entry points.
- Shut up.
(dramatic music)
- (singing in foreign language)
(singing in foreign
language continues)
(singing in foreign
language continues)
(coffee pouring)
(buttons click)
(ominous music)
(Abuelo grunts)
(blood pressure monitor beeps)
(Abuelo grunts)
- [Abuelo] Hector.
Is it your intention to kill me?
- No.
Abuelo, never.
- Then why do you come
to my home to inform me
that Santana Bravo's still alive
instead of doing
something about it?
- I mean, we couldn't.
There was, there was, there
was just nothing we could do.
- Go on.
- Well, you gotta understand
he has a new posse now.
- How many?
A hundred, 200?
- No.
Um, six or seven.
- Hundred?
- Ah, total.
(Abuelo chuckles)
- Total?
I see.
So you run away.
Pitter patter, little feet.
Like a, little girly
girl, screaming?
- No, look Abuelo,
you gotta understand
there was nothing we
could do all right?
I mean, we tried everything man.
This guy just, he, he
couldn't be stopped.
- You see that bear?
- Yeah.
- I didn't shoot him.
I killed him with a bent
stick and a pine cone.
(Abuelo chuckles)
- Abuelo, please.
- Everything can be stopped.
- Not this, this, no!
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
(gun firing)
- Uh, it helps if
you have a gun.
- We're gonna have to
board up every entrance.
Cellar?
(mysterious music)
(Bravo sighs)
(light switch clicks)
(dramatic music)
What's this?
- Tunnels.
My grandfather used these
tunnels to smuggle our family
and other people in
need across the border.
It's been sealed up for years.
Then Trump built his wall
and the cartel started
looking for ways
to move their product
across the border.
- That's why Abuelo
wants this place.
- Matteo was ready to
dynamite the thing
so they'd leave us alone.
He didn't get the chance.
(dramatic music)
(thudding)
- Is there lights?
(light switch clicks)
(dramatic music)
Why didn't you tell
me about this before?
- I don't know.
I, I guess I didn't want you
to think we were involved.
- Lady, listen, I did
28 years in prison.
18 in the hole.
I don't judge anyone.
(harmonica playing)
(upbeat music)
Oh give me a home
where the buffalo roam
(Miguel chuckles)
Where seldom is hurt
- [Miguel] Oh shit.
An the skies are not
cloudy all day
(gun clicks)
Let me guess.
Jos-a and Jos-b?
(Miguel grunts)
(accordion music playing)
- [Abuelo] Hey Manolo.
(accordion wobbles)
(upbeat accordion music)
What's wrong with your face?
- What's wrong with your face?
- Not a time for
glibness, amigo.
What happened to my men?
- Do you want the
clinical explanation?
(upbeat accordion music)
(accordion wobbles)
- Let's take a trip
to the Olive Garden.
- I love the Olive Garden.
(bone cracks)
(Miguel screams)
Stop you're hurting me.
- Who are you?
(bone cracks)
(Miguel screams)
- Look, I have a few teensy
winsy boundary issues.
- You want me to do all
five fingers?
- The thumb isn't
technically a, a finger.
- [Abuelo] Oh and
neither is the elbow.
- What?
(Miguel screams)
(Miguel laughing)
(accordion wobbles)
(Miguel chuckles)
- Shoot him in the balls.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Not the danglers.
Dito, Manolo.
Right, those are your names?
Yes, yes, like we're friends,
right we're friends!
Come on, friends!
Yes?
You, you have TikTok?
Yes, no?
We have connection, yes?
- In the mood to talk now.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
We could do that
whole TikTok thing.
Just don't shoot me in the--
(gun firing)
(Miguel screams)
(Miguel speaking
foreign language)
That was totally unnecessary.
Ah!
I'm a fucking Barbie now!
You,
you.
And since we're
being so gratuitous.
- Jesus Christ.
- [Miguel] More like Nick Fury.
(Miguel chuckles)
And to think I walked outta
the house looking like this.
(dramatic music)
- Kill him.
Kill him.
(guns firing)
(Miguel chuckles)
- Just thought you
might want to know
what you're up against.
The others are like
me, but way less chill.
(accordion wobbles)
(dramatic music)
- You have been
to see the bruja.
- The bruja has been to see me.
- Which explains the rot.
- Comes with the
package, I'm afraid.
- And they say she restores
the person to full life.
Not whatever you are.
- That's premium package.
- Is that what Bravo,
promised your compadres?
(dramatic music)
Vamanos.
(accordion wobbles)
(hammer tapping)
(country music playing on radio)
- [Grandma] Okay.
Okay.
- Well.
I oughta call this place
the stitching post.
You are a Rembrandt
of sewing, seora.
Eugene, Eugene, looking
good, look at you!
- Why don't you try to
make it look better?
- Oh, okay.
If I had a hand
- Let me ask you a question.
Do you think we can
really trust Bravo?
- I do.
- Well, you know, we
haven't even seen this bruja
and her magical frijoles.
I mean, what if
she doesn't exist?
What if he's just been
playing us this whole time?
- Guess we'll find out.
Oh man.
- Really?
- Little help?
Go on, finish up.
(music continues
playing on radio)
(machine rumbling)
- You know, it's funny
how we spend our time.
Until we lose it.
- You are a poet.
Put him in.
(Miguel grumbles)
(dramatic music)
(wood chipper rumbling)
(dramatic music)
(Miguel laughing)
(Manolo screams)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(knife slides)
- What am I doing?
I don't even wanna live.
(dramatic music)
- Everyone's in position.
We have to get inside.
- How did you do it?
How did you bring them back?
Have you ever been
married Mr. Bravo?
- Once, a long time ago.
Her name was Guadalupe.
She died 'cause she loved me.
- Wouldn't you bring
her back, if you could?
(dramatic music)
- Their back.
Huh, one car.
Unless they're superhuman
clowns or something,
color me unimpressed.
- [Eugene] One car?
- Yeah.
- Hold on, let me see.
I'll be damned.
It really is one car.
Ain't that some shit.
- Where the hell's Miguel?
- (speaking foreign language)
Get your!
(suspenseful music)
- [Tommy] Who's that?
- La bruja.
- [Tommy] Well, we
gotta do something.
- Please Bravo,
don't let me die.
Don't let me die!
Bravo, please!
He only wants you, Bravo.
- You might want do
what the lady says.
- Move mija.
(dramatic music)
(bomb beeping)
- I'm scared.
(Guadalupe crying)
He wants you, Bravo.
Don't let me die.
- [Guadalupe] Don't let me die.
- It's gonna be okay.
(bomb beeping)
- I'll take care of this.
I swear.
- [Young Bravo] I'll take care
of this, I swear.
- You're looking good.
(Guadalupe crying)
She was mine Bravo.
You of all people should
have known that.
- She made her choice.
- Sadly the wrong one
for all concerned.
Isn't it amazing how
times have changed?
I don't even need a detonator.
I just dial three.
(bomb beeping)
- Let's me and you finish this.
Abuelo, just me and you.
- Mano a mano?
Oh!
(Abuelo mutters)
Look at me.
These days, I fight for my life
just going up a
flight of stairs.
Tell me this.
How do you think your undead
friends are gonna react
when they find out their only
chance of life, goes boom.
- They'll want your
head on a stick.
- Right next to yours.
Imagine that, two brothers.
Side by side, heads on sticks.
- We were never brothers.
- Well not by
blood, but in blood.
And that's a stain
you don't wash off
no matter how hard you scrub.
(suspenseful music)
- Go, get him, go!
(suspenseful music)
- Bravo?
(speaking foreign language)
(bruja explodes)
- [Tommy] Shit!
- [Eugene] Man, this
changes everything.
- Bru gone.
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- No, no, no!
(dramatic music)
- You got some balls
coming back here.
- I'm so close.
I'm this close.
- You'll get another chance.
You will.
You still have me
and a little old lady who was
pretty good with a shotgun
and your posse.
- I have nothing
to offer them now.
- Just be honest with them.
(dramatic music)
- Time to do God's
work, brother.
Whatever the hell that means.
(dramatic music)
- [Tommy] Four!
(Tommy chuckles)
That's the best they could do?
Come on.
Hey.
What are they doing now?
- Nothing.
- [Tommy] Not a damn thing.
(suspenseful music)
- Step aside Tommy Lasorda.
- Huh?
- Gonna put some
biscuits in the basket.
- [Tommy] Oh, you go
get 'em, Stanley Cup.
He got a plan.
(suspenseful music)
- Time to get stick faced.
(suspenseful music)
Uh oh.
(Stickface explodes)
- Oh shit!
They blew up Sticky!
- Shit.
- [Tommy] I think
that was a missile.
- [Bravo] Damn it.
- [Tommy] Fuck.
They're fixing to
blow us all up.
(Tommy cries out)
- [Bravo] Son of a
bitch, that's Sticky!
- [Tommy] Was Sticky.
(dramatic music)
[Tommy] Holy shit.
Now that just ain't fair.
What are we gonna do now, Bravo?
(dramatic music)
(upbeat accordion music)
[Tommy] So what's plan B?
- Where does this
thing spit out?
- An abandoned factory
on the Mexican side.
- (soldier on radio speaking
foreign language)
(soldier on radio speaking
foreign language)
- Don't you let him get
away, you motherfucker.
- Keep moving, keep moving.
(gun firing)
- Oh shit!
(guns firing)
No woman, stay back!
- Get them!
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- [Soldier on radio] I can't
get to Bravo and the woman!
- Fuck!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- [Soldier] Taking fire!
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- Tommy!
(Quasimodo roars)
- Alright, Lasorda, come on.
- Ah.
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- I thought there'd be more.
- [Bravo] There will be.
Come on, any minute.
- If you stay, I stay.
- We'll be right behind you.
- No Bravo.
- Trust me, mija.
Let's go.
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Okay, let's gather
up all these grenades
and blow the hell
out of this joint.
- Not you, old friend.
You're all done here.
- Hey, this ain't down to you.
- Actually it is.
It's where we belong.
- You still got some life,
put it to good use.
- Yeah, go out there and
do something nice like,
save some kittens or something.
- [Tommy] Let's do it
again sometime.
You remember them red diamonds
that went missing during
that San Antonio job?
- Damn, you nasty.
- [Tommy] Put 'em to good use.
- [Quasimodo] (speaking
foreign language)
- Let's blow this joint.
- Like you read about.
It's been a hoot, muchacho.
(dramatic music)
(tunnel rumbling)
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
- Where's Bravo?
- I don't know mija, we
got to go, we've gotta go.
(dramatic music)
- Dolores.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
- [Tommy] Ahhh!!
- [Eugene] You mother--
(tunnel booming)
(dramatic music)
(Bravo groans)
- Go!
Bravo!
Bravo!
(suspenseful music)
- Carmela, no, no!
(dramatic music)
- Carmela!
(dramatic music)
(Bravo grunting)
- [Bravo] Lupe.
- No, you don't get
to die on me Bravo.
- [Grandma] (speaking
foreign language)
- Keep digging!
- (speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Here, here!
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(Carmela grunting)
- [Grandma] Bravo.
- [Carmela] Bravo!
- [Grandma] Come on.
- [Carmela] Not breathing,
- [Grandma] I know.
- He's not breathing.
- (speaking foreign language)
(Carmela cries out)
(speaking foreign language)
- Bravo, bravo!
- I know, (speaking
foreign language).
- No!
- We have to go, we
have to go, yeah.
He's dead, sweetheart.
We have to go, come.
(dramatic music)
No.
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
Take this.
(dramatic music)
(Grandma coughs)
(dramatic music)
(grandma gasps)
(dramatic music)
Come to mommy.
Come to mommy.
(speaking foreign language)
Yeah!
- Oh Bravo.
(Bravo coughing)
- I thought I was
kissing an angel.
(dramatic music)
(Carmela grunting)
(Bravo grunting)
- Vamos!
- [Abuelo] Hola, amigos.
(dramatic music)
(speaking foreign language)
Remember we used to play
here when we were kids?
Hide and seek.
Of course it was a
avocado orchard back then.
Remember when we fell off the--
(gun firing)
- (speaking foreign language)
(gun clicks)
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
- Kill me, I've already
died twice today.
(Abuelo chuckles)
But let her be.
- Sorry, we made a deal,
her ranch or her life.
She chose unwisely.
Like your Guadalupe.
Funny how things come
full circle, you know?
(dramatic music)
(Abuelo crying out)
(Abuelo screams)
- Miguel.
(Abuelo screaming)
For Lupe.
(gun firing)
(dramatic music)
- And this is for Matteo.
(dramatic music)
Ah, ah, ah, look at me cabrn.
Look at me.
(dramatic music)
I want my face to be
the last one you see.
(dramatic music)
(hammering)
- Save me a seat by
the fire, compadres.
(speaking foreign language)
What now?
- Rebuild, somehow.
- It won't be easy.
- I'll manage.
(gentle music)
- Here, this might make
it a little easier.
Uncut red diamonds,
compliments of Tommy Lasorda.
- Where was he keeping these?
- You don't want to know.
(both chuckling)
- Tommy.
You could stay, you know.
Help out, I could
pay you, in diamonds.
(Carmela chuckles)
- No, mija, I got other plans.
I gotta go Carmelita.
(speaking foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
- I will, will.
Seora!
(speaking foreign language)
- (speaking foreign language)
(gentle upbeat music)
(Bravo sighs)
- I don't think there's
any place on Earth
more beautiful than this.
Unbelievable.
Most beautifulest place,
this side of heaven.
Lately mija, I've been
thinking, I'm tired.
I've done what I
was put here to do.
And now...
...I think...
I'm ready to move on.
I just want to be
with you, baby.
- Not yet, mi amor.
Your body will heal
and so will your soul.
You have so much
more to do, Santana.
(upbeat music)
- [Bravo] Hey, (speaking
foreign language).
Bravo and the hand!
(Bravo chuckles)
(upbeat music)
Look out, dead hand walking.
(Bravo laughs)
I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
(upbeat music)
Amigos till the end.
All cinco dedos.
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)