Sex: How It Works (2013) Movie Script

We're going to head to the
bedroom and the lab to unlock
the mysterious world
of sex we all live in.
To discover the truth
behind the female orgasm,
we'll watch as a woman climaxes
in the name of science.
genital stimulation.
MONICA: Donating an orgasm for
science, how bad could that be?
NARRATOR: Reveal how
micro-machinery allowed a man
to experience an erection
for the first time.
COLIN:... that's was a
thirty-thousand dollar erection
that you just saw.
See if a pick up artist can help
a 30 year old virgin overcome
his fear of approaching women.
KURT:... just wondering where
you got your fancy outfits at,
they're... they're neat!
NARRATOR: And find out if
alcohol really does make people
more sexually attractive.
POP GIRL: One drink and
just start making out,
have a good make-out session,
and I'm ready to pull off
my pants for you.
ROB: Sex is for fun, sex
is for, uh, excitement.
TIFFANY: With me being a virgin
there are some things I just
won't know until we have sex.
COLIN: Being surrounded by other
guys in hockey locker rooms
the conversation of sex
comes up all the time.
NARRATOR: To reveal just how sex
works we're going to take you
on a journey from virginity,
via arousal, to birth.
And where better to
start, than a bar?
A place where humans have been
hooking up for generations.
But this isn't just any bar;
we've tricked it up with the
latest gizmos, to show how even
when you think you're in control
it's your sex drive
that's doing the talking.
Meet our volunteers - 8 men and
8 women who've never met before
and who, for now,
are being kept apart.
DR LINDA: Be as honest as you
can we'll see where we all are
at the end ok?
NARRATOR: The expert in charge
is Dr Linda Papadopoulos
psychologist and sex expert.
DR LINDA: Sex drive is integral
to the human condition,
without it, humanity as
we know it would die out.
We need to have sex drive.
NARRATOR: Dr Linda is going
to subject the volunteers to a
series of tests to reveal if
choosing a potential sex partner
is a conscious choice or one
made by our sex hormones.
And the first step is spotting
a face we like the look of.
DR LINDA: This is just about
trying to see how aware we are
of what we like.
gives me a little challenge,
a little push, maybe
some attitude, some sass!
Y'know, I like that.
DR LINDA: If we are talking
about evolution it's all about
passing on your genes and what
you want in a future mate.
NARRATOR: The first part of the
test is to see if pictures of
the women will arouse the men in
ways they're not even aware of.
DR LINDA: Men tend to be more
visual that women when it comes
to what they find enticing
which partly to do with how men
are socialised.
If you look at the vast majority
of pornography out there...
vast, vast majority, it's
directed towards men.
This is Jon...
Hi... Hi how are you doing...
So what we want to do it see how
you respond to different images
of women.
So we're going to do
a couple of things,
this is a galvanic skin response
monitor so it's gonna basically
just look at how
you are reacting.
We're also gonna look at pupil
dilation and finally we're gonna
get to look at how you look
at faces through our imaging
techniques. Ok?
NARRATOR: What the men don't
know is that they're going
to meet the women in
the pictures later.
JON: Ok, you're good to go.
DR LINDA: We're done?
Ok, so just come through here.
So make yourself
comfortable on the stool.
This is the eye tracking
computer so basically what
it'll do is it'll interpret how
you look at different things.
Beyond that, enjoy looking
at pretty girls, ok!
DR LINDA: We are using an eye
tracking technique to look at
where people look, but at
where they look the longest.
What you find is that we'll have
these big red dots on everyone's
face so if they look at the
eyes the longest, the red dots,
they'll be over the eyes, if
they look at the lips they'll be
over the lips.
NARRATOR: Other devices will
also monitor changes in heart
rate, perspiration levels
and pupil dilation,
to reveal physical and emotional
responses that the men have
no control over and may not
even know are taking place.
When a man sees an attractive
face the so-called reptilian
part of his brain can react
by triggering the release of
neurotransmitters such as
Epinephrine - accelerating
the pulse, sweat production
and increasing pupil diameter.
The man's body is now primed
to pursue the object of desire.
By analysing how the
men's' bodies react,
Dr Linda can see which of
the women excites the men
at a biological level.
DR LINDA: How was that?
MALE PARTICIPANT: That was good.
DR LINDA: A couple of girls
piqued you interest there..
I wonder if you are
aware of what we saw?
Which are the 2 girls...?
yeah, there was one or two,
yeah. Correct, yes!
NARRATOR: The data indicates
it's the women with thicker lips
and larger eyes that get
the men's hearts pumping.
This could be because these
faces point to a greater level
of fertility, as females with
such features tend to have more
of the sex hormone oestrogen.
Hi! Hello...
The results from one
subject stand out.
Chris's biological signs reveal
a high level of arousal when
he looks at the picture
of Katherine.
looking at hair colour
and eyes and teeth actually,
I was looking at teeth.
DR LINDA: Well how I wanted to
say interestingly what we found
it when girls were smiling,
really kind of focused and
engaged on their mouth, but
there were a couple of clues
there as to who you may
have liked more than others.
NARRATOR: While a smile can
increase a woman's sex appeal,
smiling men have been found
to be less sexually attractive
to the opposite sex.
DR LINDA: Jon will take a
look at the bio feedback.
JON: I would suggest that,
you might not think it,
but there's actually two
girls there that you favor.
NARRATOR: Next Dr Linda wants to
discover what sort of body type
arouses the men.
DR LINDA: Hi guys. Thanks for
doing the eye tracking earlier.
So what we're going to do now
is we're going to flash up
the images with the different
waist-hip-ratio test.
So again, what we need you
to do is circle the number
of your preferred figure.
You know, just wait
till we see all six,
and you can circle
which one you prefer.
What a lot of the appearance
research has shown,
is that there's almost this
sort of divine proportion
when it comes to the ratio
between the waist and the hips.
Traditionally, a very slim
waist with bigger hips,
a sort of hour glass figure is
what's particularly attractive
to men.
And there's a lot of theories
put forward of more rounded hip
being more child bearing hips
and smaller waist being
of conducive to
youth and health.
NARRATOR: One other physical
attribute also catches
the mens' eyes.
we've become bipedal,
since we've kind of evolved from
walking on all fours to standing
on two legs, it's interesting
how sexual lures have adapted.
It's become much more
centered around the breasts,
y'know I guess the breasts are
the new buttocks.. the fact
that the breasts are right under
the face which is always what
we focus on, certainly helps.
Thank you for that...
we'll take a look at them.
I like that this is folded
up, that just worries me.
NARRATOR: The initial tests show
some of the men are turned on
physiologically by a
number of the women.
We'll find out a bit later
if the women share those same
feelings towards the men.
But first let's check out how
sex works in the real world.
And in this...
We're going to follow
ladies' man - Rob,
and reveal the extraordinary
control sex hormones exert over
his mind and body in his
pursuit of a sexual encounter.
ROB: Sex is for fun,
sex is for excitement.
I had numerous one night stands.
I'm 27.
I'm definitely not
ready to settle down.
I meet a lot of people,
see a lot of girls,
hang out with a lot of girls,
hook up with a lot of girls.
My friend, cos she knows I
don't carry condoms on me,
she got me this for my birthday,
and it came with three condoms
in it.
Needless to say, it only
lasted me one night,
but still I can just
put condoms in it,
and you know I'm
ready to go out.
Rob's on a mission,
with one simple
goal - to have sex.
ROB: I've had sex
with a lot of girls...
It's fun! Sex is fun!
NARRATOR: To improve his
chances of finding a sexual
partner Rob's brought
his wingman, Brian.
BRIAN: Step into my office...
ROB: I set the tone!
DR LINDA: Men have a higher
sex drive than women.
A women needs to invest in is
in one person who's going to be
a great parent helping
her raise that child.
From a male's point of view
it's going to be about having
the most chance to get those
genes to survive by having sex
with as many partners
as possible.
BRIAN: You guys
seen any girls here,
is there any chicks around?
BRIAN: We go out all the time,
almost every single night.
I don't have television or
internet at my apartment,
I would much rather go
enjoy the night life.
GUY: If they're hot
they're taken...
BRIAN: If they're hot
they're taken, huh?
So, yeah...
let's try and talk to
some of these taken women.
NARRATOR: As with most men of
his age Rob thinks about sex
around 20 times a day,
twice as often as women do.
Rob lays down his best lines,
but it's his testosterone
that's really doing the talking.
And for single men like Rob
it's testosterone that dictates
sexual appetite and the
pursuit of a potential mate.
ROB: Well you girls
have a very good night.
NARRATOR: Just talking
to an attractive girl,
can trigger your testicles to
start pumping testosterone out.
In no time your
brain's awash with it,
the result - you increase
your efforts to get the girl.
ROB: You gotta have sex!
You gotta be healthy.
I think sex is healthy!
NARRATOR: Rob is right, women
who enjoy sex regularly live
longer than those that don't and
men who have sex 3 times a week
can cut their risk of heart
disease and stroke by half.
BRIAN: You girls, hey girls..
ROB: Excuse me ladies...
BRIAN: You're in danger
of being empty handed.
Would you care for a drink?
Can I get you one?
GIRL: Sure!
BRAIN: What'll it be?
GIRL: Jack and Coke...
BRIAN: Jack and Coke...
GIRL: Surprise me...
ROB: You can't get a home run
if you don't take a swing.
So, you gotta, at
least give it a shot.
SHOT! Yeah!
I think sex is on
everyone's mind,
whether they like
to admit it or not.
NARRATOR: One study found that
people below the age of 25
thought about sex up to
388 times in one day.
I think about sex
about every 11 seconds.
A girl's talking to
me and I might think about sex
three or four times in the
conversation that we're having
so it does add up yeah.
Man, I think
about sex all the time,
I think sex is very important
man, - highly sexed individual.
I love females - ha!
NARRATOR: We'll catch up with
Rob's attempt to find a willing
sexual partner later.
In the sex lab, it's time to
discover if the way the women
think about sex is
different from the men.
DR LINDA: So, this is the
eye tracking computer...
have a seat...
so very simply, it's going to
bring up a series of photographs
for you to enjoy, to look at.
We just want you to completely
relax and enjoy looking at
the pictures.
Hi, I'm Dr Linda,
what's your name?
FEMALE: Oh, I'm Katharine.
NARRATOR: Almost immediately
Katherine's pulse rate,
perspiration and pupil dilation
all jump when she looks at
pictures of Jack and Chris.
DR LINDA: There was two guys
that Katharine really liked and
we saw it from the galvanic skin
response, it was a real spike.
We saw it in her
behavioural reaction.
We saw that she stood back,
she smiled right away,
but we also saw that she kept
that gaze a little bit longer.
FEMALE: Yeah, I think men's
eyes are one of the first places
that I look... and their smile.
NARRATOR: Although significant,
Katherine's biological responses
aren't as great as the results
seen when Chris looked
at Katherine's face.
Like men, female sex drive is
also powered by testosterone,
but at a fifteenth of
the level seen in males,
so the effect is
a lot more subtle.
FEMALE: I've done a fair amount
of online dating as well,
so I know that people can
upgrade pictures and can look
great and then I meet them
and I'm like.. 'where was that
personality I saw in the photo!
DR LINDA: What we're being
able to see with this,
is what women are tuned
to more in male face.
NARRATOR: A pattern is forming.
It appears the more symmetrical
the man's face the stronger
the women's response.
reason for this is,
the assumption that if things
are symmetrical on the face
then it's indicative of
good health, of good genes.
So if you want to take
it to its basest level,
y'know we're always searching
out for a mate to pass on
our genes and symmetry is
one of those big indicators
that persons genes are healthy,
they're good and that'll mean
that if they mix up with my
genes they'll have a better
chance of survival.
NARRATOR: The results provide
both conscious and biological
clues to who the subjects
find sexually attractive.
Can the scientific data predict
which couple will hook up?
And will everything change
when the volunteers meet
face to face?
There's no secret why humans
have evolved to have sex
to reproduce.
But nowadays most of us do
it for the intense pleasure
it provides through orgasm.
And while three-quarters of men
regularly orgasm during sex,
less than a third of women do.
WOMAN: Very important
to orgasm during sex.
If not it's just like, you get
irritated release you ain't
release nothing.
All that tension. I got to
explode. What about you?
MAN: Yeah. Pretty much the same.
I think it's really
important to have an orgasm..
I want to make him feel
good' 'well for her,
I mean I think sex is all
about the girl so if she, like,
orgasms, then it's like
pressures off - I'm good!
NARRATOR: But one of the great
mysteries in understanding
how sex works is why do women,
who can conceive without them,
have orgasms at all?
DR LINDA: Why women orgasm
is a bit of a conundrum,
it's sort of like saying
why do men have nipples.
Some evolutionary psychologists
believe that this is sort of
a throw back to a physiological
process that we have
that we don't really
need as such.
Yet for others it's seen that
there's certainly a function
there that we haven't still
figured out what it is.
NARRATOR: In New Jersey, a
group of neuroscientists are
attempting to unlock the
mystery of the female orgasm.
KOMISARUK: There really are
only a couple of laboratories
in the world studying, um,
sexual response to orgasm.
We study brain response
to genital stimulation,
the pathways leading to orgasm,
the orgasm response in women
and then how it resolves.
NARRATOR: To help the
scientists' research,
this woman is going to
attempt to reach orgasm
in the distinctly unsexy
confines of an MRI scanner...
genital stimulation.
NARRATOR: At a special
laboratory in New Jersey,
this woman is about to perform
a most intimate act in front of
a gallery of scientists.
The goal?
To try to understand once
and for all why women orgasm.
Wise, nice to meet you,
and this is Dr
Barry Komisaruk...
KOMISARUK: I'm fascinated
with the process of orgasm.
Hi Nice to meet you...
Dr. Steven...
MONICA: Well yeah it's a little
nerve wracking to have an orgasm
in an MRI with so
many people around.
I don't usually have such
an audience when I'm doing
something so private.
KOMISARUK: This idea of seeing
what parts of the brain get
recruited and aroused and
activated leading up to
a crescendo of one of.. uh.. the
most pleasurable experiences
in humans is a umm, a very
interesting phenomenon to study.
Can we overcome depression, or
addiction or overcome pain
by understanding what parts
of the brain are active
and changing those.
We really need some hard
evidence about the functions
of orgasm.
SCIENTIST: Ok so before we get
started do you have any concerns
about today?
Any trepidations, worries?
MONICA: Other than the nine
guys in the room, I'm good!
KOMISARUK: What we are gonna
do is the control orgasm first,
and then rest for five minutes
and then the actual orgasm.
MONICA: You realise what you
guys are calling control orgasm,
we call faking it!
The only time most people
go into an MRI is if
there's something wrong,
you know, they may be,
they are going to see
if have a brain tumour,
they have something going
on with their brain,
and I'm going in one
to have an orgasm.
Yeah, this isn't the sexiest
environment I've ever been in to
have an orgasm, I wore a little
lace underneath to kind of help
me out in there so I would
feel a little sexier in an MRI,
but donating an orgasm for
science, how bad can that be.
KOMISARUK: It's comfortable?
Not too tight?
going to send you in,
you can open your eyes.
KOMISARUK: Monica are
you in position to start?
MONICA: Yes. I am.
KOMISARUK: Monica, start
genital stimulation.
NARRATOR: Like 75% of women
Monica usually achieves orgasm
by clitoral stimulation.
The tip of the clitoris has
around 8000 nerve endings,
twice as many as the tip
of the penis and more than
any other part of the body.
KOMISARUK: There are different
nerves from the genital system
and stimulation of those
different nerves goes
to different parts of the
brain and it produces different
qualities of orgasms.
NARRATOR: As a woman becomes
sexually aroused her vagina
can expand up to 200%,
while self lubricating.
SCIENTIST: Is she doing
the external stimulation?
NARRATOR: Some studies showed
that the average time it takes
a woman to reach orgasm through
masturbation is 4 minutes,
with the climax lasting
around 20 seconds.
Men on the other hand tend to
orgasm in just 2 and a half
minutes, peaking for
approximately 12 seconds.
KOMISARUK: Well an orgasm is
a, response in the brain that
controls many different
systems in the body.
There are many physiological
accompaniments to orgasm
increase in blood
pressure and heart rate,
increase in pupil diameter...
These are the brain regions that
are activated by the stimulation
that she's applying.
Certainly the genital
sensory cortex is activated.
So we should be seeing...
some activity...
SCIENTIST: She pressed the
button at forty five thirty four
NARRATOR: Orgasms can also cause
the brain to block pain signals.
A recent study suggests
climaxing can be as effective
as three doses of morphine.
KOMISARUK: Monica are you OK?
You're done, you did great.
MONICA: It was comparable to
what I might have on my own
any other time, not quite
comparable to with company,
I prefer with company!
Female orgasms may also
have another crucial
reproductive role.
KOMISARUK: There is evidence
that one of the functions
of orgasm is to increase uterine
contractions that can suck sperm
into the uterus.
And that could have an effect
of adding to the likelihood
of pregnancy.
MONICA: I went to my happy
place and got happy so hopefully
the scan will, you know,
tell the story.
my hope is that a study
like this would actually prove
what I already believe
about orgasm which is that
it is essential to our being.
NARRATOR: The pleasure we
experience during orgasm is
believed to encourage us to
have as much sex as possible.
And in men orgasms could also
play a key role in driving
JACKSON: If you've got a good
sperm count you're making
something like a 1000
sperm per heartbeat.
You can ejaculate hundreds
of millions of sperm per day.
NARRATOR: When a man ejaculates
he produces on average over
200 million sperm.
Enough to populate
over half of the US.
So, why do men
make so many sperm?
To help find an answer,
these five students are going
to compete in a sperm race.
JACKSON: What we're going to
do today is have a look at
your individual semen samples
and then do a little race.
Now if we look at sperm and we
look at how they're swimming,
we can see these sperm that are
swimming fast across the field
and their heads moving
a bit from side to side.
But there's also lots of bits
of cell debris and some sperm
that are not swimming at all,
others that are just twitching.
When they arrive in the vagina,
it's horrible acid environment
and most of the sperm are
going to die instantly,
so after an hour white blood
cells appear and they're gonna
kill all of those sperm
that are in the cervix.
So you've got one hour to get
from treacle a third of the way
up Everest otherwise
you're dead.
So what we're gonna do
today in our sperm race,
we'll look at how many get to
a certain distance and also how
far the furthest sperm can swim.
absolutely gutted if I had low
sperm count.
NARRATOR: Dr Kirkman-Brown asks
the volunteers to provide sperm
Wrapped inside a testicle are
tubes over 20 feet long that
produce over one hundred
million sperm every day.
Yet despite their huge numbers,
sperm only make up a tiny
fraction of the semen.
The rest is food for the
journey and chemical protection.
When a man ejaculates, semen
squirts out at around 28 mph
followed by an
intense rush of pleasure.
A reward for a job well done.
It's now time to count the
volunteers' sperm and calculate
how fast and far they swim.
JACKSON: You've had a bit of
time away while we have done
the processing in the lab.
Obviously I have got a clipboard
with results on it and some data
for us to look at - are people
feeling a bit more nervous now?
BOYS Yeah, a little
bit nervous now.
BOY 1: The problem is I can
only think about sperm now...
Sperm... sperm... sperm..
JACKSON: First of all we just
have some data which is just
on the neat semen samples.
But we have got quote
a big range of results,
so we've gone from in the region
of 45/46 million sperm to one
of you having in the
region of 1 billion,
500 million sperm
in the ejaculate.
Tom is our hero with over a
billion sperm in his ejaculate
did you realize you were a
billionaire this morning?
TOM: I always felt there was
something special about me
but it's nice to know there
are a lot of guys in there...
JACKSON: Is it something you
will now tell your friends
TOM: I will now
yes, definitely!
JACKSON: The final thing we
looked at was which sperm got
the furthest fastest...
We have Tyler as a
winner on this one.
BOY 1:... unbelievable..
NARRATOR: In one minute Tyler's
sperm covered a fifth of an inch
which may not sound much,
but it's equivalent to a human
swimming through syrup faster
than the best Olympic swimmer.
JACKSON: What you'd have is that
first sperm would be getting
the best chance of
fertilize that egg.
So in this test that we have
run today and the results may be
totally different
on another day,
then Tyler would have
been the winner at that.
BOY 1: Pretty like, over the
moon about it - cos it's always
been a um... at the back of my
head, like, would I be alright
if I wanted to have kids.
NARRATOR: Despite the huge
numbers of sperm produced,
over 99.9% will be killed by the
time they reach their target:
the egg.
This obliteration is one of
the key reasons why men have
to produce so much sperm
in a single ejaculation.
Most people will have
more than one sexual partner
in their lives, so why
do so many of us end up
in a monogamous relationship?
Could this soon to be wed
couple help provide an answer?
TIFFANY:.. being a virgin, there
are some things that I just
won't know until we have sex.
NARRATOR: Ryan and Tiffany have
been together for 2 years but
have never had sex.
In 5 days, on their
wedding night,
that's all about to change.
RYAN: Why we decided to abstain
from sex before marriage in our
relationship mainly stems back
from our religious background,
and our beliefs.
We really wanted to cultivate a
good friendship and we know that
when a lot of other things are
thrown into it like a sexual
or physical relationship
in the beginning,
you miss out on a lot of things.
TIFFANY: And of course, you
know, with me being a virgin,
there are some things
that I just won't know until
we have sex.
RYAN: Temptation is definitely
always there and especially
when you're sitting next
to your future wife.
I mean if were home alone
late, obviously I'm going to be
tempted so it's really avoiding
those situations completely,
which really helps a lot.
TIFFANY: I'm not going to lie
and say that it's been easy
for us to not have sex.
RYAN: It's a very rare thing,
and I'm not saying that to be
like to be like pat ourselves on
the back but it takes a lot of
NARRATOR: For his bachelor party
Ryan heads to the shooting range
Although Tiffany is a
virgin, Ryan is not.
RYAN: It is Tiffany's first
time and it's not mine.
I did make some decisions in
the past to go ahead and have
relations with old
girlfriends and so, those...
what I thought was love, was not
love how it's supposed to be,
it was more physical,
selfish, what can I get out
of this relationship
type of thing and so...
good things are worth waiting
for and worth working towards
and it's gonna be a huge
blessing to experience this and
y'know I love Tiffany so I'm
gonna wait for her and protect
her and not be
physical ahead of time.
All of this building up,
it's gonna lead to a great
NARRATOR: Couples who are
deeply in love produce more of
the pleasure hormone dopamine,
that can increase the enjoyment
of having sex.
Will Ryan and Tiffany's
first time be all the better
for waiting?
TIFFANY: There is a little bit
of nervousness and I think a lot
of it is just because I've
never had sex before so.
It's just an unknown, not
knowing what to expect and not
knowing, y'know how it's gonna
feel and how I should react
and different things like that.
We plan on having sex for
the rest of our lives,
so we've got enough
time to learn!
NARRATOR: Tiffany is a rarity,
as only 5% of people in the US
are virgins on
their wedding day.
With most people having
sex at the age of 17.
My first time
awkward, quick and fun.
I would say awkward
and eye-opening.
Well I lost mine in high school
in like tenth grade so like
Well, just the
age that I regret,
if I could turn back the hands
of time I would have waited
'til I was at that
right age you know.
I was 15, the girl
was seventeen,
we were drinking and you
know had some fun that night,
of course used protection,
I was a little nervous,
a little scared but you
know, eventually you know,
I got to use of it and
started working it out.
I was twenty when I lost my
virginity and I was embarrassed
'cos I was so old.
It was my first, like, real true
love and I decided it was a good
He turned into a real
douchebag who stole my bike,
my camera and my phone and he
slashed my car tyres so probably
could have picked him better!
NARRATOR: In the sex lab the
tests to discover how our
sub-conscious responses control
our choice of sexual partner
It's time for the male and
female subjects to meet for
the first time, in a controlled
speed dating experiment.
Will their initial biological
reactions reflect how they
respond to each other in person?
How, How is it been so far?
Dr Linda is interested to
see how Katherine and Chris,
the couple who responded the
most to pictures of each other,
react when they meet.
if it'll be fun, but,
there were two guys in
particular that kind
of stood out.
There were a couple of guys
that I thought were attractive,
I'm just hoping that I have
a pleasant two minutes.
DR LINDA: Ok John can you, can
you fit Amy out with these...
NARRATOR: Eye-tracking glasses
will let us see if there's
a difference in where
men and women look.
totally... I'm really nervous.
I'm just hoping that whoever
sits across can see past
my glasses... to the real me.
DR LINDA: Let's bring in the
guys - can I have Chris come in,
The way that we matched you was
based on all these biometric
results, so all the stuff
that we've been doing;
What got your heart fluttering,
what got their fluttering
it's based on that.
William? OK William.
NARRATOR: The females' eyes tend
to lock on to the faces of men
with more masculine features
such as a strong jawline
and a broad forehead.
But with Amy's heart rate and
perspiration levels remaining
constant, it's possible that
none of the men are exciting
her at a biological level.
The male subjects eyes quickly
drift to the breasts even
the briefest of glances, see a
jump in heart rate and sweat.
The reptilian part of the
brain has really kicked in.
DR LINDA: It's really
interesting because when you do
research like this you can
kind of see them interacting on
that kind of 3D level of really
getting to know it each other.
You can see sparks
flying especially,
and very interestingly, with the
two that were rated the highest.
OK guys! STOP!
How has it been Amy?
- it's fun, it's interesting.
awesome, beautiful smile.
It's awesome to interact
with her. Ah, fun!
NARRATOR: As a species we're
genetically programmed to seek
out a sexual partner..
yet for nearly 15 million people
in the United States approaching
a member of the opposite sex
is a terrifying experience.
But is there a way of overcoming
this so-called approach anxiety?
30 year old Kurt hopes so, the
stress he feels is so extreme
he's still a virgin.
KURT: I have never had a
girlfriend, never had sex.
As far as being a virgin goes,
as more as I'm getting older,
it's more of a
burden on my mind.
When it comes to talking to
them, I don't know what to say,
I clam up, I get very nervous.
Our other friend was here with
me and uh... there was like 5
girls or something like that
he was talking with them and
chatting them up and everything
and I thought it was a good
opportunity to go
talk with them...
no... they ALL got up!
I don't know dude. I don't
know what the problem was.
What am I doing wrong?
I've been following the
pick-up community for a couple
of years now.
NARRATOR: Desperate to get over
his phobia of talking to women,
and to finally have sex, Kurt
has contacted professional
pick up artist Beckster.
KURT: I came across Beckster
through a friend of mine.
Him and I started chatting
and talking about pick up and
everything else and that I
would like to train with him.
BEXTER: When you see
someone you like,
you have to go and talk to
them within 3 seconds...
BECKSTER: Yeah.. go!
If you wait too long, the
moment's gone for one,
it's not spontaneous for two,
it seems unconvincing and
unnatural, and also you can go
inside your mind and think of
excuses not to approach,
and that's called analysis
So you actually convince
yourself not to go and do it.
Go back and ask
for her facebook,
tell her you want to invite
her to a fancy dress party.
Just go and talk to people,
y'know we're all human beings.
NARRATOR: Will Beckster be
able to help Kurt find a woman?
KURT: Excuse me ladies,
how are you this evening?
NARRATOR: 30 year old virgin
Kurt has arranged to meet
Professional pick up artist
Beckster, in Manhattan,
for an intensive one on one
crash course in seduction.
BECKSTER: I got into learning
these seduction techniques for
my own benefit, because about 15
years ago I was in a worse place
than Kurt was and I really
needed to get out of my shell.
I really had no female
interaction whatsoever,
no female friends or nothing
and so I was stuck in a rut.
Today I've got some
missions for you...
KURT: Ok...
BECKSTER: The first mission is,
I want you to ask some girls
just where a good coffee shop is
KURT: Yeh, yeah..
Excuse me miss, I was just
wondering if there was a good
coffee shop...
GIRL: Ah, I don't know sorry!
KURT:... I was wondering if
you wanted to go for a quick cup
of coffee with me?
GIRL: Um, no, I'm late.
I'm sorry.
KURT: You are? OK.
Thank you then.
I'm actually going to a party
a bit later on this evening,
I was wondering if I
could invite you to it?
GIRL: Again, I'm sorry, I
have to decline...
BECKSTER: You gotta spin,
you get a spin for that!
So I'm going to get you to
talk to a few people, ok,
and just say something
like, you have a great vibe
and I know it's a busy city
but you're still shining out
above that, Ok
Go tell her you like
her boots as well, go!
Go, go-go-go!
KURT: I am very not used to
this, but I'll give it a go!
BECKSTER: As soon as
I say go, just go,
don't think about it or
you'll get analysis paralysis.
...go! go!
Y'know for some people this
is harder than going to war.
They'd rather fight in a war
than they would talk to a girl
on the street.
KURT: It's not that I'm not
ready to have sex or lose my
virginity, it's the fact it's
nervousness goes on in my head.
NARRATOR: The root
of Kurt's problem,
and others who suffer
approach anxiety,
lies in how a part of their
brain assesses if the potential
pleasure of sex is worth
risking the pain of rejection.
The limbic system controls our
body's most primal instincts:
to fight, flight,
feed or fornicate.
And when Kurt
approaches a woman,
memories of past failures
warn the limbic system
that the threat is
greater than the reward.
Resulting in a rush
of stress hormones,
that increase his pulse and
sweat levels so much he starts
to feel distressed, even sick.
KURT: Excuse me, just wondering
where you got your fancy outfits
at, they're... they're neat!
BECKSTER: Rejection's probably
the worst things that people
fear in this, because
no one wants to be rejected,
but we have to learn that
rejection's not personal because
they don't know you yet,
and he needs to see that.
He's learnt major life
lessons very quickly.
Simple things like don't lean
in when you talk to a girl,
smiling when you go in and maybe
a small touch of the elbow.
These things heighten sexual
arousal and that's how we find
a mate.
He's gonna eventually find
people that do want to go
on dates with him and go for
coffee with him and have sexual
relations with him.
KURT: Excuse me ladies,
how are you this evening?
Am I doing this right?
Am I not doing this right?
How is she feeling about this?
How am I feeling about this?
It's just a whole different
cycle of things going through
my mind.
BECKSTER: This is how you learn,
but going back and taking
that risk, alright?
KURT: Huh...
BECKSTER: The answer is always
'yes' when you want to learn
KURT: Right.
BECKSTER: You wanna learn this?
KURT:... yes.
NARRATOR: By repeatedly facing
his fear Kurt can reduce his
limbic system's threat response.
KURT: I only have a few minutes,
I'm in town for a couple hours
I'd like your opinion, which
is more important to you,
to be wanted, or needed?
GIRL: I mean, I think wanted
is probably the right thing
to say..
KURT: Ok...
GIRLS: Hiiiiigh!
KURT: Maybe I...
you both have very
stylish fashion sense...
GIRL 2: Thank you darling,
alright let's go..
GIRL 1: Does that
answer your question?
KURT: Sure... you have a great
night ladies... thank you.
BECKSTER: You have
to go back then yeah? Ok?
KURT: Sorry ladies, I don't
mean to interrupt again,
I just want to let you know,
but I'm going a party
a little bit later on,
I'd like to invite
both of you... if you wish.
GIRL 2: We have plans, sorry...
GIRL 1: Where are you going?
KURT: We're going to
Co-op restaurant and bar,
it's near here.
Um, what I could do is I could
actually text message you,
or somehow?
That way we could get in
contact with each other
a little bit later.
BECKSTER: He's doing
really well now..
KURT: I'm actually a
musician as well, so..
GIRL 2: Oh really?
What do you play?
KURT: Ah, drums,
bass and I sing.
GIRL1: Text me later ok? Bye!
KURT: Definitely, definitely..
Ok! Thank you ladies
have a great night!
That's what I'm talking about,
you had the guts to go back
and you got what you want.
KURT: That went super well.
BECKSTER: Super well yeah?
BECKSTER: Awesome.
KURT: Before yesterday, I
could never do that, now,
when I go home, I won't be as
scared, I'll know what to do,
or know what to say.
I'll have positive... positivity
going through me and knocking
walls down and everything else.
BECKSTER: Welcome to the club!
KURT: Thank you
Beckster, thank you!
NARRATOR: In the sex lab Dr
Linda is exploring another tried
and tested way of getting
over approach anxiety.
DR LINDA: Now here comes
the funnest part of all
the experiments.
All I need you to do now is do
what you would normally do on
any given evening
in a nightclub.
I want you to mingle I want
you to talk to each other
and I also want to see how
things change once we add
alcohol to the equation.
So if you guys can just
enjoy a glass of wine,
or a beer that would be great.
Well, enjoy each other!
Not like that!
Interestingly as soon as we
mentioned alcohol there was
almost kind of a sigh of
relief It's an environment
that they're used to so they're
feeling a lot more confident;
you can see their
non-verbals now.
We're already starting to
see as well a lot of the more
behaviours happening,
some sort of flicking
of the hair for girls,
you know the boys standing in a
certain way with chests out
kind of making
that prominent and
even in a few cases I've seen
already a lot of that mirroring
that we often find when we like
someone so we want to indicate
that interest in if they touch
their face we touch our face,
if they lean forward we do,
that's a real indicator of them
wanting to connect so it's
fascinating to see what's
happening and how
much more, rather,
how much less
inhibited they are.
How does the consumption of
alcohol affect our behaviour?
DR ALIA ATAYA: Once you consume
alcohol it has a global effect
across the brain so it results
in lowering your inhibitions.
You're more likely to engage
in certain behaviours that
you wouldn't normally engage in.
DR LINDA: Does the consumption
of alcohol mean that we'll look
at people more favourably when
it comes to attractiveness,
is there a grain
of truth to this?
you consume alcohol,
you expect to engage in
more social behaviour,
you expect to be more relaxed.
You expect to meet people
and you start to perceive
individuals as more
attractive and favourable.
NARRATOR: As we drink one part
of our brain after another
is affected.
First the pre-frontal cortex,
the part that tells us not
to say or do the wrong
things, is suppressed,
making us less
sexually inhibited.
Then the limbic system, our
risk avoidance controller,
is cranked down.
With these areas
smothered by drink,
our sex hormones are
allowed to run riot.
Alcohol can also increase
our levels of sexual desire.
In women, drink can cause
a rise in testosterone,
increasing their
interest in sex.
And studies show it reduces our
ability to spot facial symmetry,
making us a lot less choosy
an effect known as beer goggles.
And the time the boys look at
breasts has risen from fractions
of a second, too
much, much longer.
There's nothing better and
gets me in the mood than just
making out.
I mean, really, one drink
and just start making out,
have a good make-out session,
and I'm ready to pull off
my pants for you.
NARRATOR: Back in LA lounge
lizard Rob discovers his tactic
of using a wingman to improve
his chances of finding a sexual
partner has backfired.
ROB: Brian is probably the
biggest ladies' man think
I'll ever meet,
he just slays women.
BRIAN: Tonight we met a couple
of girls they were with a bunch
of friends actually and all of
the friends left except for one
girl, she decided to stay
behind with me so we are going
to you know, go and play around.
NARRATOR: Even though his
hormones are driving Rob to find
a partner, in humans it's often
the female who are the choosy
sex, as they invest more in
reproduction and parenting
than males.
And on this occasion it's Brian
who's been chosen, not Rob.
ROB: Good stuff.
Lady, nice meeting you.
Nice to meet you...
I didn't necessarily
go home with the girl,
but Brian did so
that's good for him,
you know that's a
victory for one of us.
I'm gonna go home all alone by
myself and cry myself to sleep.
Nah, that's not gonna happen.
Tonight was one of those nights
you know sometimes it's not
always about, meeting the
hottest girl and having sex
with them.
You strike out some nights.
NARRATOR: Rob knows it is only
a matter of time before he has
sex, but for some men having
intercourse can prove to be
an impossibility.
At 22, ice hockey coach Colin
should be at his sexual peak,
yet despite having girlfriends
he's always failed to have
an erection.
COLIN: I would describe myself
as a very athletic person,
whether it's going to the gym
every day, going for a run,
playing hockey.
All through my youth and teen
years I was never able to have
an erection.
Being surrounded by other
guys in hockey locker rooms
and the conversation of
sex comes up all the time,
I just started to
wonder, hey am I normal?
What's going on?
What's supposed to happen?
NARRATOR: Colin is not alone, in
the US as many as 30 million men
are regularly unable to get or
maintain an erection during sex.
With the causes
including stress, ageing,
obesity and
circulatory problems.
For Colin the devastating
impact the problem was having
on his life, forced him
to take drastic action.
COLIN: It just tore
me apart inside.
It was a constant
weight that was on me,
knowing that I couldn't
have sex with anybody.
After going through
all the solutions,
the answer was finally
a penile implant.
NARRATOR: Although
still in his early 20s
Colin has never been
able to have an erection.
To try to understand why,
he's turned to his Dad.
COLIN'S DAD: He called me on
the phone and asked if anybody
in the family had
circulation problems.
COLIN'S DAD:... and I
said no, why do you ask?
and you said well because
I can't get an erection.
And I was at the other end of
the phone and I think it went
dead, you know, what? he
can't get what, an erection?
Well the first thing that's hard
to deal with is knowing that
your child has a birth defect
which you helped create,
you know, and it's
particularly one that's like
this, you know, so that's the
first thing I have to deal with.
Colin was examined,
the doctors discovered
that for some reason,
there was a fault in the flow of
blood into Colin's penis when he
became sexually aroused, making
it impossible to build up enough
pressure to produce an erection
The most common treatment for
erectile dysfunction is to take
pills, such as Viagra,
that increase blood flow
to the penis, but for Colin
the drugs didn't help.
COLIN: It just tore
me apart inside.
It was a constant
weight that was on me,
knowing that I couldn't
have sex with anybody.
It got to a point where I wanted
to have sex so bad that after
going through all the solutions,
the answer was finally a penile
NARRATOR: It took surgeons over
three and half hours to insert
silicon rods into the muscles
of Colin's penis that were
then attached to a small
pump inside his scrotum.
COLIN: Alright, here we
have an implant bulb,
which serves as a
pump and as a release.
So in your lower abdomen area
there's a fluid reservoir and
chords going all the way down
into the penile implant and into
the pump that's in the scrotum.
In real life, ok, so we have
the sluice chamber goes down
into the pump.
When I want to get an erection
I just pump a couple of times
and then all that fluid's in the
penis and I have an erection.
When I wanna deflate, I grab the
bulb and all of the fluid goes
back out of the penis through
the pump and that reservoir
balloon kind of fills back up.
That was a $30,000
erection that you just saw.
It was a huge relief after I
could finally have sex for
the first time it was just
like this weight was lifted off
my shoulders and I could finally
just step outside and feel free.
Funny enough the first erection
I ever had lasted me ten weeks.
MALE FRIEND Are you serious?
COLIN: Yeah because they put
the implant in at like 50 or 60%
friend: what did
you do for ten weeks?
Stayed indoors!
He keeps joking around with
me that I should be the first
implant porn star.
I can have an erection whenever
I want to for as long as I want
to, something that was on my
mind every day for my entire
life up until that
point is now gone.
So now I can have a boner 24/7.
NARRATOR: With his
erection restored,
Colin is able to enjoy
a healthy sex life.
Back in Houston it's
Tiffany's bachelorette party.
She and her fianc,
Ryan, have never had sex.
But with their wedding just
3 days away that's all about
to change.
You're getting married!
TIFFANY:.. In 3 days!
more excited or nervous?
TIFFANY: I think
I'm more excited.
About the whole thing?
Like, the wedding day
and the wedding night?
NARRATOR: Tiffany uses her
bachelorette party to get some
last minute tips.
Ryan- I was like,
don't feel really bad if
just start crying during our
honeymoon for like no reason.
And he's like, do you mean
like while we're having sex?
I was like I didn't
mean that, but maybe!
I've asked some people that
I know and that I trust,
just what to expect and, you
know, how to prepare myself,
you know, emotionally
and physically, and...
FRIEND: Take it from
me who had no clue...
you will figure it out and you
will find things that you like
and you will find things
that you don't like,
but you have got to talk.
You have got to say that,
I did not feel that...
FRIEND: Yeah...
but it's ok 'cause I mean you're
married, so it's just like,
Ooh, I really liked
that, or don't do that!'
TIFFANY: Some of my friends
have just recommended, you know,
different lubricants to use and
condoms to use that, you know,
won't bother you and do whatever
you can to help you relax and be
comfortable together, naked,
you know, for the first time!
FRIEND: I didn't really
know what sex was 'til after
I got married.
I mean, no, like, seriously,
it's so different,
it's so much better and 10
years and 5 kids later... keeps getting better!
FRIEND: That's good news!
NARRATOR: Finding somebody to
have sex with is one of our most
powerful instincts, yet science
is beginning to recognise a
group of people who have no
desire to have intercourse
they're known as asexuals.
A recent study estimates there
are over 65 million asexuals
21 year old student Jenni
identifies herself as asexual.
JENNI: The basic definition is
that you lack sexual attraction
and for me it basically
just means that I don't look
at people and think Hmm.
Yeah, I'd have sex with you.
I mean people are like, Oh but
if you've not tried it then
how do you know?
And it's like, well,
if your straight,
have you tried having sex
with someone, you know,
of the same sex as you?
How do you know you
wouldn't enjoy that?
It- you just kind of know that
if you're not interested in it,
you're not interested in it,
regardless of have you tried it
or not?
NARRATOR: Asexuality is becoming
accepted as a distinct sexual
orientation, rather
than a disorder,
although science has yet
to uncover the reason
for the lack of sexual desire.
JENNI: There are people who
definitely view it as a disorder
and are like, Oh, if we give
you these pills we can fix it,
or people who ask you, Have
you had your hormones checked?
as though that's the
obvious solution,
they totally
understand what it is.
And then you have people who
go one step worse and I've been
asked before if I have
been molested as a child.
NARRATOR: Although Jenni
isn't interested in sex,
she has a boyfriend.
JENNI: Come on you.
Hey you.
NARRATOR: Tim and Jenni are a
few weeks into their sexless
TIM: I mean, like, the first
time that Jenni sort of
mentioned in conversation...
JENNI: In my very subtle way.
TIM:... that she
was a-sexual, umm,
well my initial thought was,
Hmm, that's kind of odd.
But then I- I did know enough
to know not to make assumptions
sort of about what that meant.
NARRATOR: Even though asexuals
are not sexually attracted to
other people, research shows
many still have a sex drive
which they satisfy
through masturbation.
But even when couples
don't have sex,
studies have shown that kissing
and cuddling can cause the brain
to release oxytocin, a hormone
that's also released when people
in sexual relationships orgasm.
Jenni might be happy
to go without sex,
but in LA Rob is not.
It's been 2 weeks since
Rob last had intercourse,
to satisfy the demands of his
hormones he's turned to close
friend Brittany.
ROB: Tonight, I'm
looking forward to, uh,
to going out with...
with Brittany.
Brittany is a is
a friend of mine.
I'm pretty sure we're gonna
go out and have a lot of fun,
and then we'll probably
make our way back here.
I'm pretty sure
that's gonna happen.
The sex with Brittany...
it's good, yeah, definitely.
Yeah! Really good,
she knows what she's doing.
But yeah, good sex.
Hello Brittany.
ROB: How are you?
BRITTANY: Good. How are you?
I mean I like hanging out
with you 'cause we have
a really good time together
and you make me feel good about
It's just, you know, fun
and games but we're good
friends... with benefits.
ROB: Yeah.
That's well put.
Sex is supposed to feel good,
you're supposed to feel good
after having sex and I don't
want to hook up with a girl
that goes, Ah, what
why did I do that?
BRITTANY: Exactly, you want
to you don't want to wake up
the next morning and say,
I couldn't even tell you what
she looked like, I can't even
tell you her name,
I don't know where
she came from.
ROB: Do you have to
wake up early tomorrow?
...Like, do you
want to sleep over?
BRITTANY: You can't
just ask that,
you have to get me drunk first.
ROB: I don't have to
get your drunk first!
You've stayed over
about fifteen times...
BRITTANY: I've only
had one glass of wine.
ROB: 'Cos I need to know if
not I'm going to call another
have your line-up,
I'm a loser... your booty-calls?
ROB: I'm joking.
BRITTANY: We should
talk about something...
more juicy.
ROB: Sexual?
The plans for the rest of the
evening is going to go like
this: ah, we're going
to go and pick up, ah,
ingredients to make S'mores and
Brittany is going to make her
special whiskey cider, cook
that up and have a nice dessert,
and then maybe more dessert.
ROB: There's nothing better
than... than a nice kiss.
It's the first spark, it's
the first initial, you know,
NARRATOR: Packed with nerve
endings our lips and tongue
are incredibly sensitive
to stimulation.
A passionate kiss causes our
bodies to go into pleasure
overdrive; our pulse
and breathing quickens,
more oxygen rushes to our
brain, pleasure hormones flow
and our cheeks flush.
Not only does kissing arouse
us, it can improve sexual
With his hormones flooding his
system Rob's body is primed
to have sex.
Oh, is that what you wanted...
see I wanted that.. Here take it
Brainwashed by his sex hormones,
Rob's libido is in overdrive.
He's turned to friend
with benefits, Brittany.
ROB: You taste like
marshmallow and gram crackers.
BRITTANY: inaudible Oh please.
ROB: C'mere baby!
BRITTANY: Oh, jeez... Ah!
NARRATOR: Foreplay stimulates
a number of physiological
In Rob blood becomes trapped
inside his penis causing it to
swell and harden.
The vaginal walls
thicken and lubricate.
Upon penetration nerve
endings in the penis,
clitoris and vagina are
stimulated increasing activity
in over 80 regions of the brain,
including the pleasure centers,
triggering the
start of the orgasm.
As the orgasm builds pulses
travel from the anal sphincter
to the tip of the penis.
These pulses increase
in speed and intensity,
until climax is reached,
causing muscles around the body,
including the face, to spasm.
After an orgasm, a man's
brain releases chemicals,
such as prolactin, that
bring on tiredness.
ROB: That was a wonderful
passionate night and, ah, yeah.
We can't really show you what
went on because it would be
rated X.
We're starting to
connect more, you know,
there was definitely more
passion and more emotion.
BRITTANY: If you can
have fun together,
you have good sexual chemistr,
you have a lot in common.
It's hard to find
that in one package.
COUPLE 1: Yeah I would say, I
mean an orgasm feels like, yeah,
it's like pleasure but
it's also stress release,
it's a connection to her, it's
like relaxation coming over
your whole body.
MALE 1: Oh I absolutely
can get a girl to orgasm.
MALE 2: No, I think, um, that
actually for me it almost gets
me off to make the girl orgasm,
you know I would rather her
orgasm first obviously and
multiple times, if possible,
but um, no, it's a sense
of accomplishment, I think.
MALE 3: Yeah, the goal's
definitely her first and a
couple of times before you.
NARRATOR: Finding a compatible
sexual partner is vital for the
survival of the human species.
But for some people sex is
not about reproduction...
BRYAN: I would say 17 years old
was definitely my first sexual
encounter. It was with a guy.
I remember being nervous and
everything - there was that
awkwardness, like, is this what
you're supposed to be doing?
But I just sort of that
mentality where it's like,
I'm gay, so what?
I'm just sort of like fearless
about it, I'm just like,
You know what, just
whatever happens, happens.
Sex is supposed
to be fun, right?
I figure everybody has
sex, just, you know,
we have different kinds of sex.
DR LINDA: One of the interesting
things about differing
sexualities is that in- in
recent years we've found that
there's at least some evidence
to suggest a physiological
a biological hereditary
basis to this,
but having said this we
don't know a lot about it,
we don't know necessarily,
you know, why it exists,
and why it exists in the animal
kingdom as well because it's not
just, not just with humans.
NARRATOR: Homosexuality is found
throughout the animal kingdom,
having been observed
in almost 1, 500 species
ranging from giraffes
to bottle nose dolphins.
But the cause of homosexuality
is still unknown,
however some reports suggest
each older brother increases
the odds of a man being
gay by 33%.
BRYAN: Once you know
that you are gay,
it then gets to the point where
you're taking that to the next
step, you know, interacting
with it I guess you'd say;
touching it, licking it, putting
it places - the whole shebang.
NARRATOR: Around three and a
half percent of American adults
describe themselves as
lesbian, gay or bisexual
about 11 million
people in total.
MALE 1: Well I was with women
before, when I was younger,
and after I was with
women I was with men.
GAY MAN 1: It all started
at the age of seventeen,
let's put it like that, I used
to date girls before that but at
the age of seventeen it was my
like my first funny experience
with a guy.
GAY MAN 2: Yeah, I lost
my virginity to a woman,
not even a woman it was a high
school girl when I was thirteen,
um, I had no idea that I was
gay or bi or anything until
I was divorced the second time.
MALE 1: People think that being
gay is a choice, it's not,
it's when you're gay that's
what you ultimately want.
NARRATOR: Scientists are still
trying to crack the puzzle
of why some people prefer the
opposite sex, the same sex,
or in the case of some
people both sexes...
AIDAN: Sometimes I'm in
the mood to be straight,
so I only get with girls.
Sometimes I'm in the mood to
be gay so I only get with guys.
The grass is always
greener on the other side,
if you know what I mean?
So, if I'm with a guy
I wanna be with a girl,
if I'm with a girl I
wanna be with a guy?
NARRATOR: Like many bisexuals
Aiden has a higher sex drive
than either straight
or gay people.
AIDAN: Gay guys tend to think
I'm greedy so they don't really
see me as relationship material;
they see me more as a one-night
Um, girls they take it
either one of two ways.
One: they move away from the
idea of having sex with me
because I've had
sex with guys, um,
and the fact that they think
that if I were to have be in
a relationship with them then
they've got double the people
to look out for if I was
to cheat on them or, um,
someone wanted to try
and cheat with me.
I do enjoy casual sex
with I suppose anyone.
Um, but in my experience if I
wanted to go out tonight and
have sex, it would be easier to
get with a guy because I'm a lot
more comfortable just randomly
going out and getting with a guy
than I am with a girl, and I
think I could find a guy quicker
than I could find a girl
to go and have sex with.
NARRATOR: To satisfy his
sexual urges Aiden uses an app
on a smartphone to locate
potential partners.
AIDEN: I could in theory
probably meet like 5 or 6 people
and just be like, I'll meet
you there at this time or here
at this time.
I'm not saying that I
will, but you could.
A guys talking to me now, and
he's asking me for pictures.
I have some naughty pictures,
but mainly they- people ask for
more pictures of your face just
because you can put any profile
picture up but that doesn't
necessarily mean that's you.
NARRATOR: It's not long before
Aiden tracks down somebody
who wants to have sex.
AIDEN: I didn't know it was
gonna definitely happen tonight,
but I've obviously been talking
and I told him my day off was
today and tomorrow so I've
just been kind of hinting it
I suppose, to him, and now he's
kind of come back and said,
Well, I've got an hour, so I can
get there in kind of ten minutes
and then be done in be done
in half an hour so I'll be
quite happy.
Um, I do have a condom
in my back pocket, um,
just in case he doesn't.
NARRATOR: Meeting up with
a stranger for casual sex
is risky, but it's a risk
that Aiden's willing to take.
Bisexual Aiden is on his
way to have sex with a stranger
he's arranged to meet
using a smartphone app.
AIDEN: I guess what goes through
my mind on the way to hook up
is, um, a bit of nervousness;
I've never met the guy before.
Obviously the thrill of going
to actually meet someone,
the excitement of that is
a is a big factor which I enjoy.
NARRATOR: A sense of danger
can fuel sexual excitement.
Heightened levels of adrenaline
can double the heart rate;
a rush of endorphins produce
a sense of exhilaration,
and in the brain, instinct
takes over this is not a time
for thinking, but for action!
AIDEN: Definitely
nervous at the moment.
I want to make sure
I perform, firstly.
I gotta make sure that,
because he's quite attractive,
that he um that he enjoys it.
It was a very good night.
We both got what we wanted out
of it and it was a good release
for me, I really enjoyed it.
I suppose I can relate it to
when I go to the gym and when
you had a good workout,
you pumped some iron,
and it's the same kind of
feeling that you get when
you go for a hook up.
It's like you've
got more energy,
you've just released loads
and now you've got more and
you just wanna like do it again.
NARRATOR: With increased
sexual activity,
the greater the risk of
contracting a sexually
transmitted disease.
There are at least 25 different
STD's that can be spread through
vaginal, anal and oral sex.
Most can be prevented by
wearing a condom, but others,
like herpes, can be spread
by skin to skin contact,
and are less easy to avoid.
The most common STD is
Human Papilloma Virus,
which infects over 50 per
cent of sexually active people
at some point in their lives.
And in the last decade the
number of people with Chlamydia
has doubled it can be
easily cured with antibiotics,
but it left untreated it can
lead to sterility in women
and men.
But for some STDs
there is no cure...
BRYAN: The guy who infected me I
met through a mutual friend
and then, slowly but surely, we
just sort of had this connection
Then we eventually started
exploring ourselves sexually;
we started a relationship,
what can I say?
It was actually probably my
first love I'd say I had.
We never used protection,
even at the beginning
of the relationship.
I was head over heels, I never
thought anything about it.
And so, finally,
I just started asking:
like have you ever contracted
anything from some people?
Well, it went silent.
And he finally full out
said, Well I have HIV.
I started getting sick, I
mean my whole body ached.
This was like probably a week
and a half-two weeks after
he told me.
I like... being in the
mentality where I was like,
This can't happen to me.
I'm really young...
and everything, just
I can't be this sick.
I literally felt like I
wanted to keel over and die.
NARRATOR: Brian let the world
know he was HIV positive.
BRYAN: I'm sorry to tell you
this but the blood results that
we took on you have come back
and you have HIV... I've never
felt so violated before,
never, at all felt so violated.
All sense of trust and
everything flew out the window.
It was just like death became
a reality at that point.
He was very ruthless towards
me, very, just like, you know,
you brought this upon
yourself, you didn't ask,
that's your problem,
blah blah blah.
That is a crime, I mean,
if you're HIV positive,
you're supposed to
let your partner know.
I didn't know how
to react to it.
our immune system.
If left untreated the virus
will destroy our body's ability
to fight off infection; a
condition known as AIDS.
To date over one million
Americans have contracted AIDS.
But thanks to powerful
anti-viral drugs,
it's no longer the certain
death sentence it once was.
DOCTOR: When we first measured
your virus level in March,
it was 55,000 viruses per
cc of blood, and last month,
as expected, after three months
of your medication your virus
levels dropped quite a bit
and they're down to 93 copies.
So, I anticipate that this
month we shall see no virus,
detectable by this
method anyways.
BRYAN: I hope so, yeah.
BOYFRIEND: Do you want to
put some onions in there?
BRYAN: Go for it. Do you wanna
do that while I get
the Zucchini going?
Brian, life goes on.
He has a new partner, Travis,
who is also HIV positive.
BRYAN: There's always
that type of thing, like,
how is my partner going to
respond when they find out
I'm HIV positive?
Are they not gonna wanna
be with me anymore?
I mean, we dealt with that
even before we met each other,
we just knew it was
going to be a non-issue.
TRAVIS: Right.
We're gonna make it.
NARRATOR: In Texas, Tiffany and
Ryan's two-year wait to have sex
is almost over.
TIFFANY: I'm excited;
I'm really excited.
There's already, you know,
Ryan can't find his tie but
that's okay.
But everything else is
like gorgeous I mean,
the setup is beautiful; I walked
up and I just almost started
I couldn't have asked for better
weather, so, I'm really excited
RYAN: I'm pretty nervous;
I don't really feel like
I know what's
going on right now.
Um, things are kind
of moving fast.
NARRATOR: Waiting until they are
married to have sex is a gamble,
as sexual dissatisfaction is one
of the main reasons for divorce.
In just a few hours Tiffany
and Ryan will discover
just how sexually compatible
they really are...
It's Ryan and
Tiffany's wedding day.
In just a few hours they're
going to have sex for
the first time.
MINISTER: We are gathered here,
in the sight of God and these
witnesses, you; the closest
friends and family of Ryan
and Tiffany.
FRIEND: It is God that ordained
the man and his wife to both be
naked and not ashamed,
but that's later.
power vested in me,
by God and the great
state of Texas,
I pronounce you man and wife.
Ryan you may kiss your bride.
FRIEND: Well I'm pretty
sure she's really excited,
I'm sure because we've talked
about it over and over and over
and over again.
I mean she's got all the advice
from everybody around her
so she'll take it from there.
She's ready!
The couple of the century,
Mr and Mrs Ryan Butterfras!
TIFFANY: With me, being a
virgin there are some things
that I just won't know
until we have sex,
but I'm not you know stupid,
everyone knows how sex works.
FRIEND: Kiss for the camera!
TIFFANY: More than being nervous
I am very excited to have a
deeper connection and, you know,
it's a joy to be able to walk
into this together and
say, Hey, you know,
now we can be completely
vulnerable together and
know each other to the fullest.
I'm really excited, I'm ready.
TIFFANY: The wedding night was
actually I would say better
than I expected.
We drove back to the hotel
and everything went smoothly.
RYAN: Yeah. No speeding
tickets on the way to the hotel,
she had to tell me to
slow down several times.
TIFFANY: It was actually
a really great experience,
it was the best, I mean better
than I could have asked for
a first experience with sex.
RYAN: It doesn't feel like to me
like it's the same thing every
time, it feels like it's a
whole different new experience,
every time.
There's always
that kind of like,
sometimes I'll have an off day,
other times I won't, you know,
and vice versa so I don't
know if that means...
hasn't happened yet!
RYAN: Well I appreciate that.
TIFFANY: I'm really enjoying it!
RYAN: I'm blushing now.
NARRATOR: Sex may be fun, but
let's not forget it does have
a serious purpose.
Carl and April are soon
to have their first baby.
CARL: It feels good
to be out, doesn't it?
APRIL: Yeah, it feels like ages.
CARL: It's just the fact that
in the next couple of weeks,
you know, there's going to
be a little kid in my arms,
you know what I mean?
It's just unbelievable,
it really is.
NARRATOR: Although around a
quarter million babies are born
every day, actually getting
somebody pregnant is
surprisingly tricky.
Of the hundreds of millions
of sperm that make it into
the vagina almost all
are killed instantly.
The few thousand that do survive
are drawn by heat and chemicals
to the fallopian tubes.
The closer to the egg they
get, the faster the sperm swim.
It's a race against time.
Too slow and they'll either be
destroyed by the woman's immune
system or run out of energy.
Only about a dozen sperm will
make it anywhere near the egg,
of which one, the strongest,
will penetrate it,
creating a new life.
APRIL: The baby
moves quite a lot,
I get a few little kicks
or or even hiccups actually.
It's stopped now.
NARRATOR: Our sexual urges are
so great that even when a female
is pregnant, we still
want to have intercourse.
MALE 1: When my partner was
pregnant she was definitely
more sexually active
than... at... before.
I believe her hormones just
kicked in and she was like
all the time
GIRL 1: I think you
get really horny, um,
while you're pregnant.
No, from the hormones
I'm not joking,
I couldn't get enough of it,
but now I'm like starting
to slow down.
Now I'm like, you know,
in the position and like,
trying to like, find the angles
of like how... how we're going
to do it and stuff like that
gets a little bit, you know,
tricky and you gotta
just be creative.
GIRL 2: In my second trimester I
was the horniest I've ever been
in my life, and then in the
third trimester you're just
so huge and uncomfortable you
really just kind of get through
the day and kind of float
in a pool if you can.
APRIL: Yeah, my sex drive
definitely went up for a while.
NARRATOR: The surge of hormones
during pregnancy can increase
blood flow to the pelvic area
and enhance vaginal lubrication.
Intensifying the feelings of
sexual arousal and pleasure.
But the changes in a woman's
body shape can cause problems.
CARL: She was on top and she
slipped and I could feel the
bump hit me in the stomach, it
was like proper freaked me out.
And that's- that's what I
was kinda thinking, you know,
'cause if the bump gets
some impact, you know,
it will have an effect on the
baby, you know what I mean,
and it was just...
APRIL: You're limited
to what you can do,
so it kind of takes the
fun out of it a little bit.
I'm gonna put this on here.
NARRATOR: Studies suggest a
man's sex drive drops around
the birth of his child.
This could be to stop him
straying and to promote bonding
with the new baby.
CARL: I can't wait.
It's just the thought, just the
thought of her just being there
in my arms. I can't wait.
NARRATOR: The time has come
for April to give birth.
CARL: The contractions started
about 4 o'clock this afternoon
and, um, yeah it's
been a long day.
So it's been going on for
the best part of 11 hours.
APRIL: A lot of things scare me
you know when it comes to what
I'm gonna be like as a
parent if I'm honest.
how is my child going
to turn out? you know?
Will I being doing this right?
They are little things that
I have already thought about.
NARRATOR: After 16 hours in
labour April gives birth.
APRIL: This is
Ellie Marie Paddon.
I feel amazing; just, words
can't describe how happy
I am right now.
Really, truly amazing
how gorgeous she is.
Do you know what, it still sort
of hasn't really sunk in yet
that I'm a mum?
NARRATOR: Our sex drive pushes
us to spread our genes as wide
as possible; it also plays
a vital role in keeping us
Raising a family can unite
a couple for a lifetime,
but it may also cause things
to change in the bedroom.
MAREN: Well, we met
almost nineteen years ago.
It was at a very fun
time in our lives,
and we did a lot of travelling
and we did a lot of rock
climbing and just had a lot
of fun before we had a lot of
KEVIN: I remember when
we first started dating,
we would get together on
any day probably the first thing
we'd take care of was sex and
then we'd do something else.
MAREN: Sex before we
would go rock climbing,
sometimes at the climbing spot.
KEVIN: Right?
It was definitely an everyday
occurrence for sure, you know,
and a lot of the
times twice a day!
NARRATOR: When couples orgasm,
it's thought a hormone called
oxytocin is released, that's
been linked to promoting
feelings of affection,
contentment and attachment,
which help couples bond.
FEMALE: Sex is the most
important part of a
relationship, if you don't have
sexual chemistry you don't have
MALE: Of course not, it's only,
at that moment it's only you
and her; It's nobody else, so it
can't get any closer than that.
MALE: Sex got a lot better.
We both didn't know what
we were doing at first,
and then like we like practised
everything with each other
and got real good so...
FEMALE: Yeah, so it's awesome.
MALE 2: I think the sex gets
better as you continue to have
sex with that same person,
so a one night stand is fun
but it's not as good as
having a committed relationship.
MALE: I think sex has changed a
little bit, its more intimate,
I think it's more deeply tied
to how we're responding to each
other on a relationship
level first.
FEMALE: Yeah, I would say our
sex fluctuates in and out of
different periods and
times because, you know,
life changes and when you've
been together for so long
things, life fluctuates,
what you gonna do?
MAREN: I'm even more in love
with Kevin than when we got
married, and our relationship
has just gotten deeper
and richer...
KEVIN: It evolves
every day, you know?
Before I met Maren I think the
longest relationship I'd had
was less than a year.
I couldn't imagine 19 years ago
that this is where we'd be and
this is how I'd feel about her.
NARRATOR: But the stress of
life can put the brakes on even
the most active of sex lives.
KEVIN: You know, since we've had
kids we've given up a lot of
our freedom.
MAREN: So Kai, what was your
favorite part about this weekend
KAl: A lot of trampolines.
KEVIN: Since we first met
I started my own business,
which takes me away from
home 80 hours of a week.
We've had some very low
points in our relationship;
there's been talk of
divorce at points.
MAREN: Neither of us, I think,
even are really wanting
to have sex at nine o
clock-nine-thirty at night,
because we're both
just so tired.
We're both just thinking
about sleeping and not sex.
NARRATOR: It's been shown that
for every month a couple
are together a woman's sexual
desire decreases by about 1%,
whereas men's sex drive
remains largely the same.
The reason for a couple's
decline in passion may not
lie in dropping levels
of sex hormones,
but rather stress and simply
finding the time to be sexy.
Maren and Kevin turn to
a sex therapist for help.
CHRISTINE: Come on in.
You've been together for
more than 20 years right?
KEVIN and MAREN: Nineteen.
CHRISTINE: Yeah nineteen, you
know what makes each other tick.
KEVIN: Our daily sex clock is
kind of off with each other,
whereas when we first
started dating it was,
we were both 24-7,
I think on that.
CHRISTINE: But that can be
interpreted as a lack of
interest for a specific partner,
rather than a lack of general
interest in sex.
KEVIN: I may not be feeling
it 100% all the time below
the waist but it's
always in my head.
But now it's like, you know, we
both have small windows I think
where we... where our
greatest desire is in.
Mine's usually early
in the morning,
hers is in the afternoon so
they don't always rhyme
with each other.
MAREN: When there've been
dips in Kevin's sex drive,
it's been very troubling to me
and that has made me feel, like,
maybe there- you know, maybe
he's not desiring me like
he used to?
I know that he probably has
satisfied himself in other ways
in his office...
KEVIN: Just to get it done, I
would probably just rather take
care of it myself. Which I do.
of your homework,
what we're gonna recreate when
you go away is we're gonna
recreate a day when you had no
children and when you had those
moments of wanting to
have sex with each other.
If you are willing to put the
effort into planning a sexual
experience you stand to have
a much better and more
satisfying experience because
all the planning is done
and when it finally comes
to having sex you don't have
to think about that.
MAREN: I think that sounds
great. I'm in. Pick me.
KEVIN: Alright!
CHRISTINE: Alrighty.
Have a good time!
MAREN: Thank you!
Bye, Bye...
NARRATOR: To rescue their sex
life Maren and Kevin are going
indulge their
favourite fantasies,
but will it be enough?
On the advice of
a sex therapist,
Kevin and Maren hope a weekend
away will help resurrect their
sexual desire for each other.
KEVIN: It's been a long
time since we've, um,
had a night away together.
MAREN: We're very much
looking forward to it,
just not leaving our room!
And there's a Jacuzzi tub so we
could shower first and then have
a Jacuzzi and then I do remember
her talking about him giving me
a massage, which I
think would be fabulous.
KEVIN: Just looking forward to
the evening; to get started.
So, yeah we're gonna have
a nice little weekend here.
Do some of the things that
Christine asked us to do for,
um, our homework assignment.
MAREN: I want... stripper shoes.
Got my Linda Evan's wig.
Got my new Christmas present.
I think men sexually are
very visual, you know,
it's very pleasing to the eye I
know for him and it's fun for me
because I'm usually
in jeans and sweats.
It's nice to feel really
sexy and beautiful for him,
he definitely seems
to respond to that.
KEVIN: Beauty.
MAREN: And after a long day
you want to physically connect
with your partner.
Here's to some alone time.
It was wonderful!
KEVIN: Yeah it was awesome.
We had more sex than we had in
the last month I think in one
night, so yeah, it was good.
In the beginning, we could not
stand to not be naked together
I think, you know!
like walking in the door
and get naked and have sex
and slowly over time you know
you get more responsibilities
and you have less time for sex.
You eventually have to start
scheduling it really, you know?
MAREN: So I think it was kind of
a gradual thing that there was
just less and less...
KEVIN: Our best bet is to
plan more time by ourselves,
I think you know?
MAREN: It's that
time factor, again.
MAREN:... of getting the hours
at a time where we can just be
NARRATOR: In the sex lab
the volunteers have finished
the last test.
Initial results showed clear
biological signs of arousal
between a number
of the subjects,
especially between
Katherine and Chris.
Data from the eye-tracking
experiment also showed a high
level of visual attraction
when they met face to face.
Dr Linda wants to see how the
volunteers' conscious choice of
a potential sexual partner,
matches their subconscious
bodily reactions.
DR LINDA: Guys, I wanna go
around all of you and I want you
to answer just very simply, have
you met anyone tonight that you
think has potential in terms of
making a-making a connection?
MALE 1: No.
MALE 2: There are a couple of
girls who have caught my eye,
maybe not in the long term
but in the short term.
MALI'll think about it. bit
early to tell but I dunno,
DR LINDA: So you might
ask them out on a date?
MALE 3: I'm thinking about it...
MALE 4: I think umm maybe
in the short term, you know,
to get to know them
a little better.
At least one or two.
DR LINDA: Have there
been any connections?
Can you see yourself
seeing these guys again?
Let's, let's start over here
GIRL 1: Sure, but nobody
I would take seriously.
GIRL 2: I think there are
probably, definitely be two,
I think yeah.
One I think is more personality
and one is personality
and the looks.
GIRL 3: One in
particular, very much so;
physical attraction already,
like that's something and I feel
like there's something that
clicked from the beginning and,
um, and yeah maybe
it's a bit, you know,
the whole fantasy of that, but
there definitely is like
an initial really wanting to get
to know one and there's a lot of
sparks that fly.
NARRATOR: With the
experiment over,
the subjects could relax
and let natural sexual chemistry
take over...
DR LINDA: Sex is vital.
Even later on the ability to
maintain this sense of feeling
needed and feeling connected.
The physicality of sex is vital
so this idea that it is just
there to ensure that we we
procreate, I think isn't enough,
I think it's a much much
deeper, much more integral part
of our humanity.