Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (2014) Movie Script
Help me, please!
Somebody please help me!
Okay. What have we got?
Three mackerel
one bonito.
Do you know, Lorena, this area around
here is not such a good area for fishing.
We're not supposed to be fishing!
We're supposed to be
studying the eco system.
Wait, what's that?
What's that? What's that?
- What? What is what?
- Right there!
Trash?
No, no, no. It's an egg sack.
Bring it over here.
It's huge! From a Great White maybe.
Maybe. I don't know.
Hello.
Huh.
Your..., Mr. Symes.
Thank you, Rachel.
Mornin', boys.
Test deployment in
T minus three, two, one.
Deployment successful.
Air speed, 200 miles per hour.
Altitude, three thousand
feet and dropping.
- Outstanding. Mr. Hammerstein.
- Air speed, 200 miles per hour.
Are you ready to witness history?
As your head of security,
it's my legal responsibility
to remind you... you're nuts.
You know how many fighter jets
the Pentagon bought last year?
Hmm.
They prefer drones, the stupid
little things you fly with a joystick.
I say, screw that.
I wanna build a better mouse trap,
something that lives and breathes.
What is this thing?
We've been harvesting prehistoric
DNA for years now,
strictly off the book.
The problem is that the genetic
sequences are fragmented,
so we have to inlay, splice stuff
in there from living creatures.
Target acquired.
Plus, I wanted certain enhancements.
I mean, the Pterodactyl
is fine on land, in the air,
but I wanted him to have
amphibious qualities, as well.
Fast in the water, excellent vision.
Basically, just plain mean.
And why do you have me here?
Mr. Hammerstein
I present to you... Pteracuda!
Yeah!
Huh?
Yeah.
I tried to sell this
to the State Department
and they were afraid of the
international. Just built one for myself.
Entering new command prompt.
Pteracuda, return to base.
The Pentagon doesn't know about this?
No, my own board of directors
doesn't know about this.
I financed this entire operation
out of secret bank accounts.
I mean, by the time
my board gets a hold of this,
they're gonna be begging
to give me money.
You know, just begging to pour it on.
It... it's not responding
to command, sir.
Try it again.
Repeat, Pteracuda, return to base.
Pteracuda, return your ragged,
prehistoric ass to base.
Pteracuda changing course.
It works.
Airspeed steady at
one hundred miles per hour.
Increasing to one twenty.
Okay.
One forty.
- Air speed still increasing. Sir?
- Why?
Air speed, 200 miles per hour.
Sir, it's heading right for us.
Well, you know, you can't make an
omelette without breaking a few eggs.
Don't just stand there looking smug,
get your men, go after it! Go on!
Load up!
Let's go. Let's stay focused, stay alive.
So, how long before it went crazy?
Six and a half minutes.
Son of a gun.
Did you hear that?
Six and a half minutes.
You know what that means?
- Vasquez wins the pool.
- Pay up, bitches.
Stupid.
What's its current location?
Radar has your bogie 60 miles south
and holding steady in that position.
All right, lock and load.
Let's go, go, go!
xxx number 4561,
you're clear for takeoff.
Copy that, tower.
We are clear for takeoff.
Everybody hold on tight.
Up, up and away.
Okay, people, look alive.
We're approaching the coordinates.
All right, guys,
are you ready to do this?
Hey, Ham, why do you always
put that picture of your baby up?
'Cause when it's my time
that's what I wanna be looking at.
And I'm stuck staring at your ugly face.
It's go time, everyone.
Hit to your side!
Did you hit it?
No way! We're going too fast!
Bullets are just bouncing
off this mother!
Who's got a visual?
We gotta get closer!
We can't hit it at this rate!
There!
Hey, what the hell
is going on out there?
Yeah, what happened?
This thing's gone berserk.
It's gone into kamikaze mode.
I don't know, the internal
CPU is still functioning
but the program commands seem
to be coming from somewhere else.
In English, please.
It's still working
it's just not working for us.
Oh, my God!
No!
Cap, take the sticks!
- Come on, show your ugly little beak.
- Come on, little birdie!
Polly wants some payback.
It's right below us! Shoot to the fore!
Somebody needs to get
eyes on that! Now!
Mac! Mac, are you all right?
What the hell!
Vasquez, it's us!
Come on, we gotta go!
Let's get, come on!
What... what was that thing?
Ah! Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Son of a Cossack!
From another time, mankind
was known to fear the ocean
because the water means death.
The ocean is salt with
the tears of the dead...
victims of nature's most perfect killing
machines the octopus and the shark.
Every year, these creatures
are responsible
for hundreds of confirmed attacks,
and thousands more go unreported.
Imagine a creature that combines
these tentacles with those jaws.
Your worst nightmare.
Today, Mundo del Mar Adventure Park
is proud to make those
nightmares come alive.
Prepare yourself, ladies
and gentlemen, to witness the one,
the only... Sharktopus!
What? Lorena, you missed your cue!
That opening was totally unacceptable!
It brings the suspense!
We're trying to educate
the public about an important
- scientific discovery.
- No, no, no, no.
I already pay for this video, okay?
I think that let's go,
let's go! Vamos, Lorena! Come on!
What's that?
I told you, it doesn't like noise.
Octopi are very reclusive.
- They like dark, quiet space.
- Stage fright?
- Oh, my God.
- The monster has stage fright?
Don't you know how much money
I have spent
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
- Feeding this creature?
You don't know where the money
comes from, right?
- Lorena!
- Calm down!
As'que this is no charity!
- This is a business.
- This is a business.
Hey... just say your lines, okay?
Welcome to Mundo del Mar,
I'm the park's lead... only... biologist,
and for the past six months it has been
my honor to train this incredible creature.
And using only positive reinforcement,
we've reached new heights.
Some new heights.
Come on, pecesito.
What? That's it?
Moises! Moises!
Yes, sir! Yes, sir!
I... I got the fish right here.
Sir, we got it. It's alive, sir.
Is that a live fish?
- Ah, yes, it's really alive.
- Are you crazy?
- You see?
- Real alive.
This Sharktopus is a hunter!
He needs the thrill of the chase!
Moises, watch out!
Moises!
Are you okay?
Uh, I'm all right, sir. I'm all right.
I did what you said, sir.
That's dangerous, sir.
What the heck is that?
A little more chlorine to help him relax.
You're sedating him? I'm trying
to replace the hunting instinct.
You've just undone
- weeks of conditioning.
- No, no, no, no, no.
We don't have time
for do that! Eh, Lorena?
I have to pay the show!
Trust me! Hey, hey, hey,
where are you going?
I have an appointment with a dolphin.
Get more bleach.
Are you sure this is safe?
Yes, ma'am.
But you might wanna
put that drink down.
I might not.
Hey, baby, let me show you
how a man plays with a dolphin.
Okay.
Here, dolphin. Here, dolphin.
Careful, darling.
Are you filming this, honey?
I wanna put every moment
of this vacation online!
Okay. Oh... why didn't you
tell me it'd be this ugly?
Stay calm, sir.
Here you go. Good boy.
You're so brave.
Good job.
Ah, where's it go to that thing?
- Now what?
- That's it.
You got to play with the dolphin.
But the brochure said
something about... Sharktopus?
That creature's not on display yet.
That's perfect! I'll get
to post the first photos!
Good for you, honey.
Come on. Just a quick look.
We'll pay extra.
It's not a matter of money.
That creature's very sensitive.
Yeah, yeah. I Googled this thing.
Rumors are it was made
for the government.
A genetic weapon? Really, sir,
I doubt anyone is that crazy.
Come on. That's it.
- Are you...? Because, if so, I dig it.
- Thank you.
Hey. Hey, it's Rick time.
Let me guess. Rough day at work?
It was a disaster. My star pupil
tried to eat an old man.
I've seen that old man. He looks tasty.
I've gotta find a way to eliminate
his aggressive behaviors.
Or at least figure out
where they're coming from.
Let me help you with that.
Or not.
You know, it might be genetic.
The truth is I don't know that much
about his genetic makeup.
And genes are only half the story.
We're products of our environment, too.
Dolphins and seals are social creatures.
You can use that to train them.
But he's completely unique.
And he's smarter than a dolphin.
Oh, yeah. He's a regular Flipper.
He is! Watch this.
Here, move over. Okay.
So, what is this?
Okay, so he has to match
the cards word to object.
See?
Cool.
Cool? That's amazing!
Not even primates can do that.
I'm gonna be published in
every journal in the country.
As soon as I finish the article.
I'm sorry, I can't do dinner.
I have too much work.
Hey! Hey, I am a social animal, too,
and, when I make a date with a girl,
I expect her to keep it.
So, do you wanna go eat,
or would you like to just take our clothes
off and watch more Sharktopus videos?
I'll take dinner.
The tour groups are
calling day and night.
The money will be pouring in! What?
Yea, yeah, of course.
Yours will be the first bill that I pay.
Okay. Okay. But what do you mean? Eh?
Of course I owe other people money!
What do you think you are, special?
Fine, fine, fine! Fine.
It's gonna be that way, okay?
But remember, it's not so easy
to reposes a dolphin! Okay!
No, get away from me.
I don't need an appointment.
Are you the manager?
What?
Listen, mister! This "aquarium"
was a big disappointment! First off,
the water slide is almost
completely unwatered!
I've got third degree burns all over my
body from going down those things!
The drinks are overpriced,
- your food is inedible!
- Uh huh.
I'm tempted to go on Yelp right now
and give you one star! One!
Sorry, but no ingles.
I would've let go of it if
that snotty dolphin girl
would've shown us the sharkathing!
I even offered to pay her!
But apparently you're
too good for money!
No, no, no, no. We are not
too good for money.
I'm sure we can work something out.
What do you have in mind?
This way. Watch your step.
Honey, aren't you excited
that we'll see the Sharktopus?
- Uh huh. Oh, ow!
- All right. Calm down,
honey. Calm down.
Well here we are. Eh... come on.
- Watch your step, please.
- Oh! My feet hurt.
How far is this place?
Just be careful, honey.
Just watch, watch.
I don't see anything!
- Stay back.
- Relax. There you go.
Man, this video will get tons of hits!
We're gonna be famous!
Ma'am!
- Ma'am, that's not a good idea, eh?
- Hey, what gives?
Let me try some fish.
That's a terrific idea, yeah.
Come on, let's move it along.
My wife's got a pedicure at three.
Oh, that's nice.
Ma'am!
Honey!
Oh, no! Oh, what is this!
Don't let go, baby! You all right?
Honey! Can you hear me, baby?
You're going to hear from my lawyer!
It's okay, baby.
The good thing is, I think I got a great
shot of it. Don't worry, don't worry.
You're gonna see. You'll love it.
Here we go, sir.
Thank you. I'm, like, really excited, too.
Sure, yeah, I'll hold.
That smells great. Excuse me?
Hey, that was about my grant proposal!
This is a date, remember?
I still can't believe you
ordered the shark.
Here we are, surrounded by this...
spectacular setting and all
you can think about is work.
My mom used to wash
dishes at this restaurant.
She worked herself to death
to put me through school.
For what?
So I can babysit tourists
at my uncle's aquarium?
When I found Sharktopus,
I knew, this is my chance to do real
science, to make a name for myself.
But it's just so unpredictable.
You mean dangerous.
I'm the only one he responds to.
It's a lot of pressure.
You're telling me about pressure?
Remember, I'm a lifeguard.
If I have a bad day, people drown.
Your card has been denied, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, this is your stop, buddy.
Okay, that will be one hundred
and fifty two dollars.
Without tip.
What on second thought...
no charge, man.
Hey. You made it.
I'm the only one that did.
Well, what can I say?
My chili always wins the cook off.
So, did you figure out
what went wrong?
Well, for a while there,
it was under outside control,
but then your chopper went down and
the whole system just kinda went poof!
Now what?
Well, I hear Venezuela' nice
this time of year.
From a extradition standpoint.
You haven't notified the authorities yet?
What, are you kidding?
You don't have to be a MacArthur fellow
to understand that we are up crap creek.
I mean, this brain...
is a national treasure.
I go to jail, the whole
country is weakened.
- Listen!
- What?
Leaving the country
is not an option for me.
You made this thing.
Yeah, and you let it get away.
You were my insurance policy.
I brought you specifically to
prevent death and dismemberment,
and now that's what I've got!
Is it still on radar?
Yeah, it's just north of the city.
Let's see, maybe somebody's seen it.
Bring up the local news.
That's right, Ron, news last night of
a terrifying attack on two tourists!
Uh, I tell ya, this creature is a menace!
Are you gonna show
the footage that I gave you?
Uh, come on, watch your
step please. Here we are.
I don't believe it!
What is that thing?
I thought it was destroyed.
Hey, you wanna talk about a weapon?
That son of a bitch
is almost as bad as...
Oh, that's inspired. Yeah.
What is?
I'll tell you on the way. Come on.
The feeding of the dolphins
will be at two p. m..
Two p.m. feeding of the dolphins.
Hey, I told the girl from
the TV show, okay?
I told her, she have to talk to my lawyer
and he is in prison now, huh?
I assume that you're in
possession of this animal.
Yeah. So... this is not a crime.
- I have all the necessary permits.
- I seriously doubt that.
That was a U.S. Navy weapons project,
so you're probably guilty of espionage,
- at the least.
- No, no, no. This animal is harmless.
- It has not been created to kill.
- No, it was born to kill.
Yesterday we lost control of an agent,
now it's a national security risk.
So... what did this agent do?
Kill a bunch of people, then if flew off.
We need to borrow Sharktopus
to try to bring it back.
Assuming, of course, he's for hire.
Well, this is a business, no?
But I don't think my niece will go along.
Your niece?
Yeah. Lorena. She's very protective.
She is very clever.
She... she went to the university.
She's the only one in this world
who can make it to do tricks.
Well, you know, your niece,
I'm sure that her
academic accomplishments
would probably earn
her a bumper sticker,
but I doubt there's anything that she
can do that I can't with this creature.
I've already come up with
a plan of how to control it.
I... I'm waiting.
We need a place to go over these.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course. Come.
This is an earlier prototype that injects
the neurotransmitters right
into the creature's brain.
Now we don't need remote control.
It's got a one track mind to
seek and destroy Pteracuda.
Of course, you're gonna want to sedate
this thing before you implant the device.
But then, after that, all you gotta
do is follow these instructions.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- Where are you gonna be?
- I'm gonna be in my car
with the engine running. I'm not
gonnabe anywhere near this sucker.
Over here.
There. This should do it.
Where is this thing?
Son of a bitch!
So, is this thing out?
- Good morning, Uncle.
- What are you doing here?
I'm always here for his
eight o'clock feeding.
Wait, what is he doing?
- Hey. Hey!
- Lorena.
What do you doing?
Who gave you permission?
- Lorena.
- No, he can't do that!
- What's going on?
- It's good, Lorena. Honey
they are professionals!
What? What? Stop!
- Lorena, please. They are... they...
- What?
- Veterinarians.
- Yeah, right!
And remember, the exact
position of the needle
is directly over the interior
lobe of the cerebral cortex.
You wanna come down here
and do this yourself?
Lorena!
Lorena!
Stop!
Lorena, they paid me more money
than a sane man can imagine!
It's the trainer. She's not on board.
You sure your truck is big enough?
I don't want this thing falling
out on the way to the pier.
You're letting it go?
- Lorena. Lorena, please! Lorena!
- I'm calling the cops.
You better listen to him.
Oh, God! You smell
worse than you look.
You don't understand!
Don't worry, Lorena.
Doctor Symes knows what he is doing.
- Shut up!
- Hey! Are you kidding me?
Let me out! Let me out!
Take care of it, eh?
So... are you going to bring it back?
Yeah, yeah, I'll bring it back.
I'll bring it back in one piece. Or pieces.
Hey!
Eh... So as to my...
Right here.
Okay? And you remember,
we were never here.
Sure, sure.
Ham, let's roll.
Trust me, pal, you're gonna
love this. It's the most
- peaceful thing in the world,
- Come on, guys!
The bottom of the ocean.
- Hurry up!
- Everything's blue and calm.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
You know... I'm not so sure.
Can you go without me today?
There's no backing out now.
It's not like anyone's died.
At least not this week.
See you squids at the wreck.
Remember, just follow us,
and I promise you're gonna have
the best time in your life... ever! Huh?
Okay, let's do this thing.
That's my girl! Come on, let's go!
Target's engaged.
Now, that's what I'm talking about.
I thought we were
rooting for the other one.
Nah.
Pick up, damnit!
Hello.
Rick? Thank God I got you.
They set it free.
I have no idea where they went.
- My uncle locked me in a closet!
- Can someone
put this in the Lost and Found?
You have to help me,
Rick! Rick, are you there?
Oh!
- Rick!
- Slow down, Lorena.
I can't understand
a word you're saying.
They set it free.
- Wait, they did what?
- They just took him.
- When?
- I don't know, a few hours ago.
I don't have time to explain.
You have to shut down the bay.
Shut down the bay?
- Do you know how long that will take?
- Shut down the bay!
You have to do this, Rick.
People's lives are at stake!
Okay, okay, I'll do what I can.
What about you?
I don't know. I'm gonna try to get
him back before it's too late.
Lizzie sweetie, what are you
checking out that phone for?
You should be feasting your
eyes on this treasure right here.
Excuse me, I'm your assistant,
and my name's not Lizzie.
I pay you top scratch.
I'll call you what I want.
Have you heard about the Sharktopus?
They say he may be in the area.
Oh, Sharktopus!
Sharktopus! He so scary!
Hey!
Hey, watch it! I'm Conan O'Brien!
Yeah, whatever.
I'm an icon! I'm on cable television!
One call to my agent and...
- You got it?
- Yeah.
Attention! You must
evacuate the shore!
This water is closed! We have reports
of a shark and... and an octopus.
A Sharktopus.
Oh, man! How much longer
do we have to wait?
As long as it takes. Stories like this
don't come along every day.
Mutant creature, crooked owner...
with the right report,
and a healthy dose of cleavage,
this could be my ticket to the big time.
You see all these are Emmy pumps.
Hey, that's the trainer!
Miss Christmas! Veronica Vegas,
Chanel Three News.
What's your position
to wards yesterday's attack?
No comment.
Is Sharktopus a danger to the public?
Come on, give me something!
Symes. I think he said
his name was Symes.
- Did you get that?
- Of course I got it!
Who's Symes?
Don't get close to the water!
Hey! How about this?
The botanical gardens!
The website says they have over
a hundred species of hibiscus!
I give up.
You don't wanna go shopping,
and you refuse to go near the ocean!
After yesterday, do you blame me?
Hey, Mom, look how high it is!
Yes, baby.
Hey, look. I'm gonna get you.
So, what do you wanna do...
sit around the resort
all day staring at me?
No! I wanna sit around all
day and stare at the pool boy.
Mom!
- What's her deal?
- I don't know! Ask her!
Never mind!
How's it going?
Not good. The Pteracuda
just keeps flying out of range.
Can't you tell it where to go?
I can tell it where to take a dump
if I could get the control
systems operational.
I have a feeling it's not
just a simple malfunction.
Look.
I managed to download the
security footage from the lab.
You find out what went wrong?
I have a pretty good idea.
Ha. Stop it right there.
Well, well... Vlad, you slimy little...
And now to breaking news.
We go to Veronica Vegas
on location at El Diablo Beach.
Well, Ron, the bay seems
calm at the moment.
The creatures seem to have gone.
Still, authorities have requested
that all citizens stay indoors.
Veronica, can you gives us
a recap of what happened.
Yes. Yes. Just a few more moments.
Once the link appears, then I can
begin uploading the test mission.
All right.
Done. And then this.
This birdie's gonna hum
like Leningrad pigeon.
...engaged in mortal combat
between themselves.
This is Veronica Vegas,
Chanel Three News.
Andres! I can't work like this!
You worthless coward.
How was that?
Did you feel nice and safe?
This is for you.
Oh. Flirting with the guy at the
research desk finally paid off.
I know I say this all the time,
but I'm so glad this vacation is over.
Come on! There were some good parts.
- What part?
- What do you think sounds better?
Hashtag survived Sharktopus,
- or hashtag survived Pteracuda?
- Stewardess!
And after my lawyers
get done with those
Mundo del Mar jokers,
the trip will be free!
Stewardess!
I might even spring something
from the Sky Mall.
Yes, ma'am?
I need a refill.
I'm sorry, we don't have any more.
What do you mean you
don't have any more?
I'm sorry, ma'am,
- you can't drink any more.
- No, no, you don't understand.
I need a refill.
I... I think we're gonna make it!
Attention, please...
Mundo del Mar guests.
Due to incredible good fortune
the park is gonna be closed in
10 minutes... never to open again.
Never! So, we hope you
enjoyed your visit.
We don't really care
one way or the other.
Aseque... adios, suckers.
Mr. Munoz! Mr. Munoz!
I got something for you, sir.
I'm sorry to disturb you in such
a wonderful day for you, sir,
but and I must tell you somebody
came today with a lawsuit for you, sir,
from the two gringo
couple that were here.
You remember the two
gringo couple, sir?
- Moises, Moises, Moises!
- Yeah, do you remember?
How many times I must tell you,
- when you see a process server...
- Yes, sir.
- Run!
- Sir.
No, sir, sir! Sir, don't do that! Oh...
I'm feel like I'm forgetting something.
Yes, sir?
- Lorena!
- Lorena!
Sharktopus!
Go!
Go, go!
- Faster!
- No!
So?
It's the Sharktopus, all right.
It's running away.
That's impossible.
Control his fight or flight instinct.
Have a look.
What are the chances!
Look on the bright side...
this worked for nearly 30 minutes.
It's a new record for you.
Now we do this my way.
Hey, Ham... let's use our brains here.
We gave it the good old college try,
okay? But fate has conspired
to flip us the bird.
The longer we stick around here,
the harder it is to leave.
If you're right, and
Pteracuda was high jacked,
why do you think they stole it? Huh?
To terrorize sunbathers?
No, we have to stop that thing
before it does some real damage.
You give this a thought and try
to remove that good angel thing
from your shoulder, really
improve the quality of your life.
If we're gonna save lives,
let's start by saving our own and
blame the whole thing on Sharktopus.
Maybe they're gonna blame
the whole thing on you.
Yeah? Well... good help is hard to find.
Hey, that's the girl from the aquarium.
- Ham, stop the vehicle.
- All right.
Don't screw this up, Symes.
Hi. How you doing?
- No! No! Help! Ow!
- Come on!
Drive!
- What is going on?
- Keep your mouth shut!
What is that thing?
It looks like a dinosaur!
Well, you're half right.
It's also a barracuda.
It's a hybrid, like your Sharktopus.
Where did it come from?
Well, Dr. Symes here created it.
Another perfect weapon gone haywire.
Oh, that's great, Ham!
Just tell her everything!
So, what you set Sharktopus
lose to try and kill it?
And now they're both out of control!
- Pretty much.
- Hey,
according to Ham, Sharktopus is your
baby, so it's up to you to bring him back.
How do you expect me to do that?
I don't know. But you're
from around here.
What's down this way?
Hey, I'm talking to you!
The beaches.
Hey, why you stopping?
Shopping trip. Just sit tight.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where do you think you're going?
We're not letting you go until
we finish with Pteracuda.
Keep an eye on her.
You son of a...
Calling Coast Guard...
Hey, what are you doing?
Rico Symes. Is that your real name?
Wait, I know you.
I read one of your papers
when you were at MIT.
But then you turned to the dark side.
Well, the Ivory Tower is great,
but the garage is full of used Volvos.
I mean, great minds deserve
great riches, don't you think?
When the Pentagon decided
that they were gonna start
using genetic weapons,
I saw my chance and I took it.
We're gonna want to alert
U.S. naval operations.
What's your coordinates?
Longitued, latitude?
That'll do.
Wow, passports and money.
Good to go.
Well, I'll be.
What have we got here?
Looks like our hacker's back online.
Okay, buddy, give it your best shot.
Let's see what you got.
Come on, I know you're
out there somewhere.
Rick!
Lorena!
I'm so glad you're safe!
You know CPR?
- One, two,
- What's going on out there?
I mean, one monster I can handle,
but what's that ugly
monster with wings?
Government weapon.
- Your tax dollars at work.
- Yeah
Right here.
They're crazy, Rick.
They tried to kidnap me.
She's gonna be okay.
- Those people out there need my help.
- I need you!
I know, I know. Listen, sweetheart,
I know you can handle yourself.
I mean, you survived dating me.
Listen, kid, if you really
need me to say, I will.
I just...
You were a lousy boyfriend.
But I am a hell of a lifeguard.
Be careful!
Don't worry. I'm too handsome to die.
I thought I told you to stay put.
- Do you know that idiot?
- He's my boyfriend.
Well, he's either very
brave or very stupid.
He's both.
Get out! Get out of the water!
Get to shore right now!
Get to shore!
Wow. Chalk that up
to natural selection.
You should watch it, baby.
These things have been
known to go off. Let's go.
Ho, ho, ho, what's going on here?
Tell your friend to
shut up and shoot me!
I'm tired of this crap.
Okay, look, nobody
nobody's gonna shoot anybody.
And he's not actually my friend.
I don't know about that.
Good people are dying out there.
You don't think I know that?
Look, I'm trying to stop this thing.
Now, the guy at the aquarium,
he said that you actually
trained this monster,
that it that it listens to your
commands or something. Is that true?
Oh, don't be stupid.
It did... before Dr. Crankenstein
started screwing with his head.
I didn't screw with his head!
Look, I got something in the van that'll
take care of both of these mothers.
But I only get one shot and
I gotta be awfully close.
Now, since you know
this animal, you can help.
Go to hell.
All right, let's go, come on.
You know what, we ought to just
shoot you and use you for bait.
Any idea where our pals
are headed next?
No. Thanks to her and
her reject boyfriend,
I gotta restart the trace.
On who?
On Vladimir! He's still out there,
and he's getting dangerously close
to reestablishing a connection.
If that happens,
Pteracuda will be fully operational
and he'll be fully in charge.
Where are they hiding?
Okay, here we go.
Come to Papa.
You're the expert. You got any ideas?
Why should I help you?
You just wanna kill him.
What, and you don't?
Geez, you're just as crazy as the doc.
Look, I'm sorry that we set it free.
I really am.
But if you don't do everything
in your power to stop it...
you're just as guilty as we are.
Let me see that.
Is there any chance that Sharktopus
swam out to sea, got lost or something?
I mean, you know, a shark that's
never been in the open ocean before.
That's really unlikely. Sharks are
really good navigators.
They can sense electromagnetic
fields, like a built in compass.
When they're injured or threatened,
they can always find their way back.
What is that?
The canals.
They run straight through town,
right by the aquarium.
That's where he's headed.
Great.
- Hey where you going?
- To the aquarium.
Yeah, but Vladimir's still in the city.
He's the other direction.
Please, I have friends at the aquarium.
Oh, screw that! I mean,
I spent millions on Pteracuda.
When it comes to my
intellectual property, I bogart that.
Oh, brother.
Looks like he's trying to
download a Fukushima app.
A what?
Fukushima app.
It's one of Pteracuda's
programs where you attack
a nuclear power plant
by swimming up the pipes.
You know, where the
salt water cools the reactor.
If he sets Pteracuda on
that plant up the coast,
it's meltdown time for you,
you, me, and that baby of yours.
Well, come on! Vamonos,
muchacho! Come on!
Lorena? Are you back here?
I hope you are not angry
with me, little one.
I'm so sorry that
I forgot you in the closet.
Lorena?
My money!
My money. I'm getting too old for this.
He's gotta be here.
He's gotta be here. Munoz!
Munoz! Mother of God! He's been killed!
Shoot him!
We're looking for a man.
He's about this tall, pale complexion,
speaks with an accent.
Hey.
Ham. I've an idea.
Hold it. This is for you.
Lorena. A second.
Okay, my friend
this is what I need from you.
If you'd just stop calling me and
let me work for five minutes, then I...
This is the problem with dictators
they micromanage everything.
That way.
Who is it?
Room service.
Sure.
Hi, come in.
- That's a lot of soda.
- Can you take this?
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Don't you know that'll kill you?
- Come on, come on, come on!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Okay, okay.
Ha! Here we go.
Looks like you're just about done.
Time to return this baby
to their rightful owner.
You little turd.
What are you, Al Qaeda?
Greenpeace?
- Me?
- Yeah. I'm just a contractor.
I do it for the money. Like him.
That hurt!
That's my mother. She worries.
Give me that!
Foreign prefix.
These the guys you're
working for, huh?
- Huh?
- Please, okay, no talking.
I'm trying to watch the TV,
- all right
- I have to apologize for the quality
of the images you're receiving.
My regular cameraman quit,
and I had to hire a homeless man.
Sadly, the passengers
of this doomed flight
are believed to be victims of the same
creature witnessed at
the bay this morning.
The whereabouts and motivation
of the creature remain a mystery.
But Chanel Three has obtained
information suggesting this man,
Dr. Rico Symes El puntorojo!
- Cat's out of the bag now, huh, Symes?
- Dr. Rico Symes,
a researcher with ties to
the Pentagon, may be connected.
Officials at the State Department say
only he is wanted for questioning.
This is Veronica Vegas,
Chanel Three News.
Oh, well, now that does it!
Career meet Mr. Crapper.
How did she get my name?
You little snitch! I shoulda killed you
- when I had the chance!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Watch out!
Okay, okay. This is how
it's gonna play now, all right?
You're gonna put your gun down.
Yeah, put it down, yeah.
All right, now kick it over here.
Easy.
Come on, kick it over here.
All right. Now, get my briefcase.
- Okay. All right, all right.
- Quick!
- Make sure it's locked.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, now put it on
the floor with handle up.
- Yeah. All right.
- Okey
So this is what's gonna happen now.
I'm gonna go for a walk,
and you guys are gonna stay here,
and we're never gonna see
each other again, all right? See ya.
That way!
Vlad.
No one out hacks me!
Vlad, this is not gonna end well for you.
I'm going to have this creature
eating out of the palm of my hands.
Son of a bitch.
Put the gun down and come out, Vlad.
Come on.
But listen, we can work this out.
- Get your hands up, Vlad.
- Come on
- You can't leave me here like this.
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- Listen, listen, listen.
I can talk to my guy
- Get your hands up, Vlad.
- And we can work this out.
Higher.
Well, nice shooting, Tex.
This thing is stuck midway
through a download sequence.
So what, you can't control it?
Well, the creature's locked on to
this transmission and the source,
but he's still set to rage.
So we gotta get this thing
outta here as soon as possible.
Mundo del Mar.
Maybe we can lure them there and
get them both at the same time.
So, is that the plan?
Uh huh. Come on.
That's right, the aquarium!
No, Officer, I don't know if it's there!
I just... All I ask for...
Hey, hand me that screwdriver.
Fire something like that before?
If it's lethal and dumb I've done it.
How do you two know each other?
Don't answer that.
The military gave me
a very specific skill set.
Then they discharged me for using it.
Makes me a perfect employee
for somebody like Symes.
It's coming up right here on the right...
Get out!
Keep driving, Symes!
- What are you doing?
- No,
I warned you, I'm not
going down with this ship!
You son of a bitch!
Hey, you wanted to be a hero.
You can settle for martyr.
I'll give you the count of one.
Listen. You stay close to me.
Keep your head down.
And run!
- Split up! Go!
- Okey
All right, you son of a gun
let's see how fast you really are.
- You okay over there?
- Yeah. Are you okay?
Yeah.
Can you see it?
No. But I can see the
briefcase in the parking lot.
So he's gotta be close by.
Symes said you had a little girl?
Yeah, I got a little girl.
How old is she?
She's three now.
She's... she's getting cuter every day.
How can you do this work
with a family?
That's why I do this work.
Kid's gotta eat, you know.
Needs clothes and a college fund.
I think she'd like a living father more.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Haven't been much of
the role model type.
I probably don't have to
worry about that anymore,
'cause I'm pretty sure
I already lost this job.
I'm gonna take a look outside.
I don't... I don't think
that's a very good idea.
Do you just wanna stay in here forever?
No.
Lorena!
Hey, pecesito.
Lorena.
Here we go again.
He's gotta get back in deep water.
My harpoon.
Now what?
What?
Hey! What are you doing?
Unfinished business.
Lorena!
Lorena, thank God you're safe and here.
It came back, Lorena.
Is he gonna be okay?
We have to go.
He was looking for you, Lorena.
He was looking.
It came back, Lorena.
Sir, just relax.
Let's cut to the chase.
Now, you know you want
the technology, otherwise,
why would you hire a guy to steal it?
He can only get you one Pteracuda.
I can bring you the mind
that created Pteracuda.
Uh, more chips!
I'm not, what? Worried?
About betraying my country?
With all the taxes and regulations,
America's declared war on me!
I mean, how can a business innovate
without killing a couple of civilians?
Now, you find me a safe haven,
get me a pile of cash,
and I'll build you an
army of Pteracudas.
And there's plenty
of half crazed despots.
Don't wait around.
This deal's gonna go away.
Hello, Ham.
Who was on the phone?
A guy with very deep pockets.
Oh, don't let me interrupt.
Deep enough for both of us.
I think you forgot this.
Let's go.
Come on, Ham. What are you
gonna do kill me in cold blood?
Yeah, well, it wouldn't
be your first time.
It'd be my first time killing you.
Look, our souls are on a plane.
You can't judge genius
by ordinary standards.
Come on, man, think of your little girl.
I am.
- Look...
- Hey!
No, we can make a deal.
I'll forget everything's
that's happened.
You're out of deals, Symes. Shove off.
How about a little help?
This should help.
You know, a great mind,
terrible thing to waste.
Let's go.
This isn't over, Ham!
What are you doing?
Oh, man.
I don't wanna swim for it.
Oh, God, of all the rotten luck!
Where have you been?
I had to go get this.
What about Symes?
Sunk. These are his notes.
Get cracking.
You wanna give this to
the Army or something.
They're the real expert.
No, I got you.
You know what
I did before I took this job?
I was a research assistant in a lab.
I prepared slides.
I'm not an expert in animal behavior.
I'm a girl whose uncle
owned a dolphin.
Now, Munoz, Rick, Moises
they're all dead.
Maybe they should've listened to you.
Maybe I should've listened to them!
I was so desperate to be a success
and to get my name on a paper!
I took chances with people's lives.
In that way, I'm exactly like Symes.
You wanna have a pity party, huh? Fine.
Go ahead. But it sure as heck
isn't gonnachangeyour past... or mine.
But it just might keep you from doing
something good with your future.
Besides, you are nothing like Symes.
- Symes was a genius.
- Yeah.
Are you ready to find a weakness?
I hope so.
Based on the strength of recent
reporting, Veronica Vegas...
Gotta love the 24 hour news site.
Everyone here at Chanel Three
wishes her a fond farewell...
That's it.
What's it?
Pteracuda's endothermic.
Endo whatic?
Warm blooded. That's why it's so fast.
- So?
- So there's a systematic imbalance
between its metabolic rate
and its digestive structure.
It burns more calories than
it's body can readily digest.
It's hungry.
Yeah, well, we already established that.
No, it's not just hungry, starving.
It's gotta eat constantly
just to stay alive.
That means it can't get too
far from population centers.
And barracuda are
notorious light hunters.
They'll attack people's key, jewelry,
and any bright, shiny object.
With the right lure, we can bring it close
enough to that giant harpoon of yours.
And what about Sharktopus?
Leave that to me.
Let's go.
Well? Did you find something
that'll work as a lure?
How about this?
Where did you find that?
I shot it.
Is that your answer for everything?
Pretty much.
All right.
Ready?
- How's it looking?
- Bling bling.
Let's go faster.
I don't see any sign of it!
You see anything?
I think we should come around
for another pass.
There.
Hold it steady!
Is that close enough?
Lorena!
Suck on this.
Come on, I gotcha!
Did you get him?
We only got about 30 seconds.
Let's go.
Do you think they both died?
At that range? Nothing on Earth
could've survived.
I need a vacation.
Somewhere relaxing.
Hawaii.
Kansas.
Somebody please help me!
Okay. What have we got?
Three mackerel
one bonito.
Do you know, Lorena, this area around
here is not such a good area for fishing.
We're not supposed to be fishing!
We're supposed to be
studying the eco system.
Wait, what's that?
What's that? What's that?
- What? What is what?
- Right there!
Trash?
No, no, no. It's an egg sack.
Bring it over here.
It's huge! From a Great White maybe.
Maybe. I don't know.
Hello.
Huh.
Your..., Mr. Symes.
Thank you, Rachel.
Mornin', boys.
Test deployment in
T minus three, two, one.
Deployment successful.
Air speed, 200 miles per hour.
Altitude, three thousand
feet and dropping.
- Outstanding. Mr. Hammerstein.
- Air speed, 200 miles per hour.
Are you ready to witness history?
As your head of security,
it's my legal responsibility
to remind you... you're nuts.
You know how many fighter jets
the Pentagon bought last year?
Hmm.
They prefer drones, the stupid
little things you fly with a joystick.
I say, screw that.
I wanna build a better mouse trap,
something that lives and breathes.
What is this thing?
We've been harvesting prehistoric
DNA for years now,
strictly off the book.
The problem is that the genetic
sequences are fragmented,
so we have to inlay, splice stuff
in there from living creatures.
Target acquired.
Plus, I wanted certain enhancements.
I mean, the Pterodactyl
is fine on land, in the air,
but I wanted him to have
amphibious qualities, as well.
Fast in the water, excellent vision.
Basically, just plain mean.
And why do you have me here?
Mr. Hammerstein
I present to you... Pteracuda!
Yeah!
Huh?
Yeah.
I tried to sell this
to the State Department
and they were afraid of the
international. Just built one for myself.
Entering new command prompt.
Pteracuda, return to base.
The Pentagon doesn't know about this?
No, my own board of directors
doesn't know about this.
I financed this entire operation
out of secret bank accounts.
I mean, by the time
my board gets a hold of this,
they're gonna be begging
to give me money.
You know, just begging to pour it on.
It... it's not responding
to command, sir.
Try it again.
Repeat, Pteracuda, return to base.
Pteracuda, return your ragged,
prehistoric ass to base.
Pteracuda changing course.
It works.
Airspeed steady at
one hundred miles per hour.
Increasing to one twenty.
Okay.
One forty.
- Air speed still increasing. Sir?
- Why?
Air speed, 200 miles per hour.
Sir, it's heading right for us.
Well, you know, you can't make an
omelette without breaking a few eggs.
Don't just stand there looking smug,
get your men, go after it! Go on!
Load up!
Let's go. Let's stay focused, stay alive.
So, how long before it went crazy?
Six and a half minutes.
Son of a gun.
Did you hear that?
Six and a half minutes.
You know what that means?
- Vasquez wins the pool.
- Pay up, bitches.
Stupid.
What's its current location?
Radar has your bogie 60 miles south
and holding steady in that position.
All right, lock and load.
Let's go, go, go!
xxx number 4561,
you're clear for takeoff.
Copy that, tower.
We are clear for takeoff.
Everybody hold on tight.
Up, up and away.
Okay, people, look alive.
We're approaching the coordinates.
All right, guys,
are you ready to do this?
Hey, Ham, why do you always
put that picture of your baby up?
'Cause when it's my time
that's what I wanna be looking at.
And I'm stuck staring at your ugly face.
It's go time, everyone.
Hit to your side!
Did you hit it?
No way! We're going too fast!
Bullets are just bouncing
off this mother!
Who's got a visual?
We gotta get closer!
We can't hit it at this rate!
There!
Hey, what the hell
is going on out there?
Yeah, what happened?
This thing's gone berserk.
It's gone into kamikaze mode.
I don't know, the internal
CPU is still functioning
but the program commands seem
to be coming from somewhere else.
In English, please.
It's still working
it's just not working for us.
Oh, my God!
No!
Cap, take the sticks!
- Come on, show your ugly little beak.
- Come on, little birdie!
Polly wants some payback.
It's right below us! Shoot to the fore!
Somebody needs to get
eyes on that! Now!
Mac! Mac, are you all right?
What the hell!
Vasquez, it's us!
Come on, we gotta go!
Let's get, come on!
What... what was that thing?
Ah! Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Son of a Cossack!
From another time, mankind
was known to fear the ocean
because the water means death.
The ocean is salt with
the tears of the dead...
victims of nature's most perfect killing
machines the octopus and the shark.
Every year, these creatures
are responsible
for hundreds of confirmed attacks,
and thousands more go unreported.
Imagine a creature that combines
these tentacles with those jaws.
Your worst nightmare.
Today, Mundo del Mar Adventure Park
is proud to make those
nightmares come alive.
Prepare yourself, ladies
and gentlemen, to witness the one,
the only... Sharktopus!
What? Lorena, you missed your cue!
That opening was totally unacceptable!
It brings the suspense!
We're trying to educate
the public about an important
- scientific discovery.
- No, no, no, no.
I already pay for this video, okay?
I think that let's go,
let's go! Vamos, Lorena! Come on!
What's that?
I told you, it doesn't like noise.
Octopi are very reclusive.
- They like dark, quiet space.
- Stage fright?
- Oh, my God.
- The monster has stage fright?
Don't you know how much money
I have spent
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
- Feeding this creature?
You don't know where the money
comes from, right?
- Lorena!
- Calm down!
As'que this is no charity!
- This is a business.
- This is a business.
Hey... just say your lines, okay?
Welcome to Mundo del Mar,
I'm the park's lead... only... biologist,
and for the past six months it has been
my honor to train this incredible creature.
And using only positive reinforcement,
we've reached new heights.
Some new heights.
Come on, pecesito.
What? That's it?
Moises! Moises!
Yes, sir! Yes, sir!
I... I got the fish right here.
Sir, we got it. It's alive, sir.
Is that a live fish?
- Ah, yes, it's really alive.
- Are you crazy?
- You see?
- Real alive.
This Sharktopus is a hunter!
He needs the thrill of the chase!
Moises, watch out!
Moises!
Are you okay?
Uh, I'm all right, sir. I'm all right.
I did what you said, sir.
That's dangerous, sir.
What the heck is that?
A little more chlorine to help him relax.
You're sedating him? I'm trying
to replace the hunting instinct.
You've just undone
- weeks of conditioning.
- No, no, no, no, no.
We don't have time
for do that! Eh, Lorena?
I have to pay the show!
Trust me! Hey, hey, hey,
where are you going?
I have an appointment with a dolphin.
Get more bleach.
Are you sure this is safe?
Yes, ma'am.
But you might wanna
put that drink down.
I might not.
Hey, baby, let me show you
how a man plays with a dolphin.
Okay.
Here, dolphin. Here, dolphin.
Careful, darling.
Are you filming this, honey?
I wanna put every moment
of this vacation online!
Okay. Oh... why didn't you
tell me it'd be this ugly?
Stay calm, sir.
Here you go. Good boy.
You're so brave.
Good job.
Ah, where's it go to that thing?
- Now what?
- That's it.
You got to play with the dolphin.
But the brochure said
something about... Sharktopus?
That creature's not on display yet.
That's perfect! I'll get
to post the first photos!
Good for you, honey.
Come on. Just a quick look.
We'll pay extra.
It's not a matter of money.
That creature's very sensitive.
Yeah, yeah. I Googled this thing.
Rumors are it was made
for the government.
A genetic weapon? Really, sir,
I doubt anyone is that crazy.
Come on. That's it.
- Are you...? Because, if so, I dig it.
- Thank you.
Hey. Hey, it's Rick time.
Let me guess. Rough day at work?
It was a disaster. My star pupil
tried to eat an old man.
I've seen that old man. He looks tasty.
I've gotta find a way to eliminate
his aggressive behaviors.
Or at least figure out
where they're coming from.
Let me help you with that.
Or not.
You know, it might be genetic.
The truth is I don't know that much
about his genetic makeup.
And genes are only half the story.
We're products of our environment, too.
Dolphins and seals are social creatures.
You can use that to train them.
But he's completely unique.
And he's smarter than a dolphin.
Oh, yeah. He's a regular Flipper.
He is! Watch this.
Here, move over. Okay.
So, what is this?
Okay, so he has to match
the cards word to object.
See?
Cool.
Cool? That's amazing!
Not even primates can do that.
I'm gonna be published in
every journal in the country.
As soon as I finish the article.
I'm sorry, I can't do dinner.
I have too much work.
Hey! Hey, I am a social animal, too,
and, when I make a date with a girl,
I expect her to keep it.
So, do you wanna go eat,
or would you like to just take our clothes
off and watch more Sharktopus videos?
I'll take dinner.
The tour groups are
calling day and night.
The money will be pouring in! What?
Yea, yeah, of course.
Yours will be the first bill that I pay.
Okay. Okay. But what do you mean? Eh?
Of course I owe other people money!
What do you think you are, special?
Fine, fine, fine! Fine.
It's gonna be that way, okay?
But remember, it's not so easy
to reposes a dolphin! Okay!
No, get away from me.
I don't need an appointment.
Are you the manager?
What?
Listen, mister! This "aquarium"
was a big disappointment! First off,
the water slide is almost
completely unwatered!
I've got third degree burns all over my
body from going down those things!
The drinks are overpriced,
- your food is inedible!
- Uh huh.
I'm tempted to go on Yelp right now
and give you one star! One!
Sorry, but no ingles.
I would've let go of it if
that snotty dolphin girl
would've shown us the sharkathing!
I even offered to pay her!
But apparently you're
too good for money!
No, no, no, no. We are not
too good for money.
I'm sure we can work something out.
What do you have in mind?
This way. Watch your step.
Honey, aren't you excited
that we'll see the Sharktopus?
- Uh huh. Oh, ow!
- All right. Calm down,
honey. Calm down.
Well here we are. Eh... come on.
- Watch your step, please.
- Oh! My feet hurt.
How far is this place?
Just be careful, honey.
Just watch, watch.
I don't see anything!
- Stay back.
- Relax. There you go.
Man, this video will get tons of hits!
We're gonna be famous!
Ma'am!
- Ma'am, that's not a good idea, eh?
- Hey, what gives?
Let me try some fish.
That's a terrific idea, yeah.
Come on, let's move it along.
My wife's got a pedicure at three.
Oh, that's nice.
Ma'am!
Honey!
Oh, no! Oh, what is this!
Don't let go, baby! You all right?
Honey! Can you hear me, baby?
You're going to hear from my lawyer!
It's okay, baby.
The good thing is, I think I got a great
shot of it. Don't worry, don't worry.
You're gonna see. You'll love it.
Here we go, sir.
Thank you. I'm, like, really excited, too.
Sure, yeah, I'll hold.
That smells great. Excuse me?
Hey, that was about my grant proposal!
This is a date, remember?
I still can't believe you
ordered the shark.
Here we are, surrounded by this...
spectacular setting and all
you can think about is work.
My mom used to wash
dishes at this restaurant.
She worked herself to death
to put me through school.
For what?
So I can babysit tourists
at my uncle's aquarium?
When I found Sharktopus,
I knew, this is my chance to do real
science, to make a name for myself.
But it's just so unpredictable.
You mean dangerous.
I'm the only one he responds to.
It's a lot of pressure.
You're telling me about pressure?
Remember, I'm a lifeguard.
If I have a bad day, people drown.
Your card has been denied, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, this is your stop, buddy.
Okay, that will be one hundred
and fifty two dollars.
Without tip.
What on second thought...
no charge, man.
Hey. You made it.
I'm the only one that did.
Well, what can I say?
My chili always wins the cook off.
So, did you figure out
what went wrong?
Well, for a while there,
it was under outside control,
but then your chopper went down and
the whole system just kinda went poof!
Now what?
Well, I hear Venezuela' nice
this time of year.
From a extradition standpoint.
You haven't notified the authorities yet?
What, are you kidding?
You don't have to be a MacArthur fellow
to understand that we are up crap creek.
I mean, this brain...
is a national treasure.
I go to jail, the whole
country is weakened.
- Listen!
- What?
Leaving the country
is not an option for me.
You made this thing.
Yeah, and you let it get away.
You were my insurance policy.
I brought you specifically to
prevent death and dismemberment,
and now that's what I've got!
Is it still on radar?
Yeah, it's just north of the city.
Let's see, maybe somebody's seen it.
Bring up the local news.
That's right, Ron, news last night of
a terrifying attack on two tourists!
Uh, I tell ya, this creature is a menace!
Are you gonna show
the footage that I gave you?
Uh, come on, watch your
step please. Here we are.
I don't believe it!
What is that thing?
I thought it was destroyed.
Hey, you wanna talk about a weapon?
That son of a bitch
is almost as bad as...
Oh, that's inspired. Yeah.
What is?
I'll tell you on the way. Come on.
The feeding of the dolphins
will be at two p. m..
Two p.m. feeding of the dolphins.
Hey, I told the girl from
the TV show, okay?
I told her, she have to talk to my lawyer
and he is in prison now, huh?
I assume that you're in
possession of this animal.
Yeah. So... this is not a crime.
- I have all the necessary permits.
- I seriously doubt that.
That was a U.S. Navy weapons project,
so you're probably guilty of espionage,
- at the least.
- No, no, no. This animal is harmless.
- It has not been created to kill.
- No, it was born to kill.
Yesterday we lost control of an agent,
now it's a national security risk.
So... what did this agent do?
Kill a bunch of people, then if flew off.
We need to borrow Sharktopus
to try to bring it back.
Assuming, of course, he's for hire.
Well, this is a business, no?
But I don't think my niece will go along.
Your niece?
Yeah. Lorena. She's very protective.
She is very clever.
She... she went to the university.
She's the only one in this world
who can make it to do tricks.
Well, you know, your niece,
I'm sure that her
academic accomplishments
would probably earn
her a bumper sticker,
but I doubt there's anything that she
can do that I can't with this creature.
I've already come up with
a plan of how to control it.
I... I'm waiting.
We need a place to go over these.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course. Come.
This is an earlier prototype that injects
the neurotransmitters right
into the creature's brain.
Now we don't need remote control.
It's got a one track mind to
seek and destroy Pteracuda.
Of course, you're gonna want to sedate
this thing before you implant the device.
But then, after that, all you gotta
do is follow these instructions.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- Where are you gonna be?
- I'm gonna be in my car
with the engine running. I'm not
gonnabe anywhere near this sucker.
Over here.
There. This should do it.
Where is this thing?
Son of a bitch!
So, is this thing out?
- Good morning, Uncle.
- What are you doing here?
I'm always here for his
eight o'clock feeding.
Wait, what is he doing?
- Hey. Hey!
- Lorena.
What do you doing?
Who gave you permission?
- Lorena.
- No, he can't do that!
- What's going on?
- It's good, Lorena. Honey
they are professionals!
What? What? Stop!
- Lorena, please. They are... they...
- What?
- Veterinarians.
- Yeah, right!
And remember, the exact
position of the needle
is directly over the interior
lobe of the cerebral cortex.
You wanna come down here
and do this yourself?
Lorena!
Lorena!
Stop!
Lorena, they paid me more money
than a sane man can imagine!
It's the trainer. She's not on board.
You sure your truck is big enough?
I don't want this thing falling
out on the way to the pier.
You're letting it go?
- Lorena. Lorena, please! Lorena!
- I'm calling the cops.
You better listen to him.
Oh, God! You smell
worse than you look.
You don't understand!
Don't worry, Lorena.
Doctor Symes knows what he is doing.
- Shut up!
- Hey! Are you kidding me?
Let me out! Let me out!
Take care of it, eh?
So... are you going to bring it back?
Yeah, yeah, I'll bring it back.
I'll bring it back in one piece. Or pieces.
Hey!
Eh... So as to my...
Right here.
Okay? And you remember,
we were never here.
Sure, sure.
Ham, let's roll.
Trust me, pal, you're gonna
love this. It's the most
- peaceful thing in the world,
- Come on, guys!
The bottom of the ocean.
- Hurry up!
- Everything's blue and calm.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
You know... I'm not so sure.
Can you go without me today?
There's no backing out now.
It's not like anyone's died.
At least not this week.
See you squids at the wreck.
Remember, just follow us,
and I promise you're gonna have
the best time in your life... ever! Huh?
Okay, let's do this thing.
That's my girl! Come on, let's go!
Target's engaged.
Now, that's what I'm talking about.
I thought we were
rooting for the other one.
Nah.
Pick up, damnit!
Hello.
Rick? Thank God I got you.
They set it free.
I have no idea where they went.
- My uncle locked me in a closet!
- Can someone
put this in the Lost and Found?
You have to help me,
Rick! Rick, are you there?
Oh!
- Rick!
- Slow down, Lorena.
I can't understand
a word you're saying.
They set it free.
- Wait, they did what?
- They just took him.
- When?
- I don't know, a few hours ago.
I don't have time to explain.
You have to shut down the bay.
Shut down the bay?
- Do you know how long that will take?
- Shut down the bay!
You have to do this, Rick.
People's lives are at stake!
Okay, okay, I'll do what I can.
What about you?
I don't know. I'm gonna try to get
him back before it's too late.
Lizzie sweetie, what are you
checking out that phone for?
You should be feasting your
eyes on this treasure right here.
Excuse me, I'm your assistant,
and my name's not Lizzie.
I pay you top scratch.
I'll call you what I want.
Have you heard about the Sharktopus?
They say he may be in the area.
Oh, Sharktopus!
Sharktopus! He so scary!
Hey!
Hey, watch it! I'm Conan O'Brien!
Yeah, whatever.
I'm an icon! I'm on cable television!
One call to my agent and...
- You got it?
- Yeah.
Attention! You must
evacuate the shore!
This water is closed! We have reports
of a shark and... and an octopus.
A Sharktopus.
Oh, man! How much longer
do we have to wait?
As long as it takes. Stories like this
don't come along every day.
Mutant creature, crooked owner...
with the right report,
and a healthy dose of cleavage,
this could be my ticket to the big time.
You see all these are Emmy pumps.
Hey, that's the trainer!
Miss Christmas! Veronica Vegas,
Chanel Three News.
What's your position
to wards yesterday's attack?
No comment.
Is Sharktopus a danger to the public?
Come on, give me something!
Symes. I think he said
his name was Symes.
- Did you get that?
- Of course I got it!
Who's Symes?
Don't get close to the water!
Hey! How about this?
The botanical gardens!
The website says they have over
a hundred species of hibiscus!
I give up.
You don't wanna go shopping,
and you refuse to go near the ocean!
After yesterday, do you blame me?
Hey, Mom, look how high it is!
Yes, baby.
Hey, look. I'm gonna get you.
So, what do you wanna do...
sit around the resort
all day staring at me?
No! I wanna sit around all
day and stare at the pool boy.
Mom!
- What's her deal?
- I don't know! Ask her!
Never mind!
How's it going?
Not good. The Pteracuda
just keeps flying out of range.
Can't you tell it where to go?
I can tell it where to take a dump
if I could get the control
systems operational.
I have a feeling it's not
just a simple malfunction.
Look.
I managed to download the
security footage from the lab.
You find out what went wrong?
I have a pretty good idea.
Ha. Stop it right there.
Well, well... Vlad, you slimy little...
And now to breaking news.
We go to Veronica Vegas
on location at El Diablo Beach.
Well, Ron, the bay seems
calm at the moment.
The creatures seem to have gone.
Still, authorities have requested
that all citizens stay indoors.
Veronica, can you gives us
a recap of what happened.
Yes. Yes. Just a few more moments.
Once the link appears, then I can
begin uploading the test mission.
All right.
Done. And then this.
This birdie's gonna hum
like Leningrad pigeon.
...engaged in mortal combat
between themselves.
This is Veronica Vegas,
Chanel Three News.
Andres! I can't work like this!
You worthless coward.
How was that?
Did you feel nice and safe?
This is for you.
Oh. Flirting with the guy at the
research desk finally paid off.
I know I say this all the time,
but I'm so glad this vacation is over.
Come on! There were some good parts.
- What part?
- What do you think sounds better?
Hashtag survived Sharktopus,
- or hashtag survived Pteracuda?
- Stewardess!
And after my lawyers
get done with those
Mundo del Mar jokers,
the trip will be free!
Stewardess!
I might even spring something
from the Sky Mall.
Yes, ma'am?
I need a refill.
I'm sorry, we don't have any more.
What do you mean you
don't have any more?
I'm sorry, ma'am,
- you can't drink any more.
- No, no, you don't understand.
I need a refill.
I... I think we're gonna make it!
Attention, please...
Mundo del Mar guests.
Due to incredible good fortune
the park is gonna be closed in
10 minutes... never to open again.
Never! So, we hope you
enjoyed your visit.
We don't really care
one way or the other.
Aseque... adios, suckers.
Mr. Munoz! Mr. Munoz!
I got something for you, sir.
I'm sorry to disturb you in such
a wonderful day for you, sir,
but and I must tell you somebody
came today with a lawsuit for you, sir,
from the two gringo
couple that were here.
You remember the two
gringo couple, sir?
- Moises, Moises, Moises!
- Yeah, do you remember?
How many times I must tell you,
- when you see a process server...
- Yes, sir.
- Run!
- Sir.
No, sir, sir! Sir, don't do that! Oh...
I'm feel like I'm forgetting something.
Yes, sir?
- Lorena!
- Lorena!
Sharktopus!
Go!
Go, go!
- Faster!
- No!
So?
It's the Sharktopus, all right.
It's running away.
That's impossible.
Control his fight or flight instinct.
Have a look.
What are the chances!
Look on the bright side...
this worked for nearly 30 minutes.
It's a new record for you.
Now we do this my way.
Hey, Ham... let's use our brains here.
We gave it the good old college try,
okay? But fate has conspired
to flip us the bird.
The longer we stick around here,
the harder it is to leave.
If you're right, and
Pteracuda was high jacked,
why do you think they stole it? Huh?
To terrorize sunbathers?
No, we have to stop that thing
before it does some real damage.
You give this a thought and try
to remove that good angel thing
from your shoulder, really
improve the quality of your life.
If we're gonna save lives,
let's start by saving our own and
blame the whole thing on Sharktopus.
Maybe they're gonna blame
the whole thing on you.
Yeah? Well... good help is hard to find.
Hey, that's the girl from the aquarium.
- Ham, stop the vehicle.
- All right.
Don't screw this up, Symes.
Hi. How you doing?
- No! No! Help! Ow!
- Come on!
Drive!
- What is going on?
- Keep your mouth shut!
What is that thing?
It looks like a dinosaur!
Well, you're half right.
It's also a barracuda.
It's a hybrid, like your Sharktopus.
Where did it come from?
Well, Dr. Symes here created it.
Another perfect weapon gone haywire.
Oh, that's great, Ham!
Just tell her everything!
So, what you set Sharktopus
lose to try and kill it?
And now they're both out of control!
- Pretty much.
- Hey,
according to Ham, Sharktopus is your
baby, so it's up to you to bring him back.
How do you expect me to do that?
I don't know. But you're
from around here.
What's down this way?
Hey, I'm talking to you!
The beaches.
Hey, why you stopping?
Shopping trip. Just sit tight.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where do you think you're going?
We're not letting you go until
we finish with Pteracuda.
Keep an eye on her.
You son of a...
Calling Coast Guard...
Hey, what are you doing?
Rico Symes. Is that your real name?
Wait, I know you.
I read one of your papers
when you were at MIT.
But then you turned to the dark side.
Well, the Ivory Tower is great,
but the garage is full of used Volvos.
I mean, great minds deserve
great riches, don't you think?
When the Pentagon decided
that they were gonna start
using genetic weapons,
I saw my chance and I took it.
We're gonna want to alert
U.S. naval operations.
What's your coordinates?
Longitued, latitude?
That'll do.
Wow, passports and money.
Good to go.
Well, I'll be.
What have we got here?
Looks like our hacker's back online.
Okay, buddy, give it your best shot.
Let's see what you got.
Come on, I know you're
out there somewhere.
Rick!
Lorena!
I'm so glad you're safe!
You know CPR?
- One, two,
- What's going on out there?
I mean, one monster I can handle,
but what's that ugly
monster with wings?
Government weapon.
- Your tax dollars at work.
- Yeah
Right here.
They're crazy, Rick.
They tried to kidnap me.
She's gonna be okay.
- Those people out there need my help.
- I need you!
I know, I know. Listen, sweetheart,
I know you can handle yourself.
I mean, you survived dating me.
Listen, kid, if you really
need me to say, I will.
I just...
You were a lousy boyfriend.
But I am a hell of a lifeguard.
Be careful!
Don't worry. I'm too handsome to die.
I thought I told you to stay put.
- Do you know that idiot?
- He's my boyfriend.
Well, he's either very
brave or very stupid.
He's both.
Get out! Get out of the water!
Get to shore right now!
Get to shore!
Wow. Chalk that up
to natural selection.
You should watch it, baby.
These things have been
known to go off. Let's go.
Ho, ho, ho, what's going on here?
Tell your friend to
shut up and shoot me!
I'm tired of this crap.
Okay, look, nobody
nobody's gonna shoot anybody.
And he's not actually my friend.
I don't know about that.
Good people are dying out there.
You don't think I know that?
Look, I'm trying to stop this thing.
Now, the guy at the aquarium,
he said that you actually
trained this monster,
that it that it listens to your
commands or something. Is that true?
Oh, don't be stupid.
It did... before Dr. Crankenstein
started screwing with his head.
I didn't screw with his head!
Look, I got something in the van that'll
take care of both of these mothers.
But I only get one shot and
I gotta be awfully close.
Now, since you know
this animal, you can help.
Go to hell.
All right, let's go, come on.
You know what, we ought to just
shoot you and use you for bait.
Any idea where our pals
are headed next?
No. Thanks to her and
her reject boyfriend,
I gotta restart the trace.
On who?
On Vladimir! He's still out there,
and he's getting dangerously close
to reestablishing a connection.
If that happens,
Pteracuda will be fully operational
and he'll be fully in charge.
Where are they hiding?
Okay, here we go.
Come to Papa.
You're the expert. You got any ideas?
Why should I help you?
You just wanna kill him.
What, and you don't?
Geez, you're just as crazy as the doc.
Look, I'm sorry that we set it free.
I really am.
But if you don't do everything
in your power to stop it...
you're just as guilty as we are.
Let me see that.
Is there any chance that Sharktopus
swam out to sea, got lost or something?
I mean, you know, a shark that's
never been in the open ocean before.
That's really unlikely. Sharks are
really good navigators.
They can sense electromagnetic
fields, like a built in compass.
When they're injured or threatened,
they can always find their way back.
What is that?
The canals.
They run straight through town,
right by the aquarium.
That's where he's headed.
Great.
- Hey where you going?
- To the aquarium.
Yeah, but Vladimir's still in the city.
He's the other direction.
Please, I have friends at the aquarium.
Oh, screw that! I mean,
I spent millions on Pteracuda.
When it comes to my
intellectual property, I bogart that.
Oh, brother.
Looks like he's trying to
download a Fukushima app.
A what?
Fukushima app.
It's one of Pteracuda's
programs where you attack
a nuclear power plant
by swimming up the pipes.
You know, where the
salt water cools the reactor.
If he sets Pteracuda on
that plant up the coast,
it's meltdown time for you,
you, me, and that baby of yours.
Well, come on! Vamonos,
muchacho! Come on!
Lorena? Are you back here?
I hope you are not angry
with me, little one.
I'm so sorry that
I forgot you in the closet.
Lorena?
My money!
My money. I'm getting too old for this.
He's gotta be here.
He's gotta be here. Munoz!
Munoz! Mother of God! He's been killed!
Shoot him!
We're looking for a man.
He's about this tall, pale complexion,
speaks with an accent.
Hey.
Ham. I've an idea.
Hold it. This is for you.
Lorena. A second.
Okay, my friend
this is what I need from you.
If you'd just stop calling me and
let me work for five minutes, then I...
This is the problem with dictators
they micromanage everything.
That way.
Who is it?
Room service.
Sure.
Hi, come in.
- That's a lot of soda.
- Can you take this?
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Don't you know that'll kill you?
- Come on, come on, come on!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Okay, okay.
Ha! Here we go.
Looks like you're just about done.
Time to return this baby
to their rightful owner.
You little turd.
What are you, Al Qaeda?
Greenpeace?
- Me?
- Yeah. I'm just a contractor.
I do it for the money. Like him.
That hurt!
That's my mother. She worries.
Give me that!
Foreign prefix.
These the guys you're
working for, huh?
- Huh?
- Please, okay, no talking.
I'm trying to watch the TV,
- all right
- I have to apologize for the quality
of the images you're receiving.
My regular cameraman quit,
and I had to hire a homeless man.
Sadly, the passengers
of this doomed flight
are believed to be victims of the same
creature witnessed at
the bay this morning.
The whereabouts and motivation
of the creature remain a mystery.
But Chanel Three has obtained
information suggesting this man,
Dr. Rico Symes El puntorojo!
- Cat's out of the bag now, huh, Symes?
- Dr. Rico Symes,
a researcher with ties to
the Pentagon, may be connected.
Officials at the State Department say
only he is wanted for questioning.
This is Veronica Vegas,
Chanel Three News.
Oh, well, now that does it!
Career meet Mr. Crapper.
How did she get my name?
You little snitch! I shoulda killed you
- when I had the chance!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Watch out!
Okay, okay. This is how
it's gonna play now, all right?
You're gonna put your gun down.
Yeah, put it down, yeah.
All right, now kick it over here.
Easy.
Come on, kick it over here.
All right. Now, get my briefcase.
- Okay. All right, all right.
- Quick!
- Make sure it's locked.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, now put it on
the floor with handle up.
- Yeah. All right.
- Okey
So this is what's gonna happen now.
I'm gonna go for a walk,
and you guys are gonna stay here,
and we're never gonna see
each other again, all right? See ya.
That way!
Vlad.
No one out hacks me!
Vlad, this is not gonna end well for you.
I'm going to have this creature
eating out of the palm of my hands.
Son of a bitch.
Put the gun down and come out, Vlad.
Come on.
But listen, we can work this out.
- Get your hands up, Vlad.
- Come on
- You can't leave me here like this.
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- Listen, listen, listen.
I can talk to my guy
- Get your hands up, Vlad.
- And we can work this out.
Higher.
Well, nice shooting, Tex.
This thing is stuck midway
through a download sequence.
So what, you can't control it?
Well, the creature's locked on to
this transmission and the source,
but he's still set to rage.
So we gotta get this thing
outta here as soon as possible.
Mundo del Mar.
Maybe we can lure them there and
get them both at the same time.
So, is that the plan?
Uh huh. Come on.
That's right, the aquarium!
No, Officer, I don't know if it's there!
I just... All I ask for...
Hey, hand me that screwdriver.
Fire something like that before?
If it's lethal and dumb I've done it.
How do you two know each other?
Don't answer that.
The military gave me
a very specific skill set.
Then they discharged me for using it.
Makes me a perfect employee
for somebody like Symes.
It's coming up right here on the right...
Get out!
Keep driving, Symes!
- What are you doing?
- No,
I warned you, I'm not
going down with this ship!
You son of a bitch!
Hey, you wanted to be a hero.
You can settle for martyr.
I'll give you the count of one.
Listen. You stay close to me.
Keep your head down.
And run!
- Split up! Go!
- Okey
All right, you son of a gun
let's see how fast you really are.
- You okay over there?
- Yeah. Are you okay?
Yeah.
Can you see it?
No. But I can see the
briefcase in the parking lot.
So he's gotta be close by.
Symes said you had a little girl?
Yeah, I got a little girl.
How old is she?
She's three now.
She's... she's getting cuter every day.
How can you do this work
with a family?
That's why I do this work.
Kid's gotta eat, you know.
Needs clothes and a college fund.
I think she'd like a living father more.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Haven't been much of
the role model type.
I probably don't have to
worry about that anymore,
'cause I'm pretty sure
I already lost this job.
I'm gonna take a look outside.
I don't... I don't think
that's a very good idea.
Do you just wanna stay in here forever?
No.
Lorena!
Hey, pecesito.
Lorena.
Here we go again.
He's gotta get back in deep water.
My harpoon.
Now what?
What?
Hey! What are you doing?
Unfinished business.
Lorena!
Lorena, thank God you're safe and here.
It came back, Lorena.
Is he gonna be okay?
We have to go.
He was looking for you, Lorena.
He was looking.
It came back, Lorena.
Sir, just relax.
Let's cut to the chase.
Now, you know you want
the technology, otherwise,
why would you hire a guy to steal it?
He can only get you one Pteracuda.
I can bring you the mind
that created Pteracuda.
Uh, more chips!
I'm not, what? Worried?
About betraying my country?
With all the taxes and regulations,
America's declared war on me!
I mean, how can a business innovate
without killing a couple of civilians?
Now, you find me a safe haven,
get me a pile of cash,
and I'll build you an
army of Pteracudas.
And there's plenty
of half crazed despots.
Don't wait around.
This deal's gonna go away.
Hello, Ham.
Who was on the phone?
A guy with very deep pockets.
Oh, don't let me interrupt.
Deep enough for both of us.
I think you forgot this.
Let's go.
Come on, Ham. What are you
gonna do kill me in cold blood?
Yeah, well, it wouldn't
be your first time.
It'd be my first time killing you.
Look, our souls are on a plane.
You can't judge genius
by ordinary standards.
Come on, man, think of your little girl.
I am.
- Look...
- Hey!
No, we can make a deal.
I'll forget everything's
that's happened.
You're out of deals, Symes. Shove off.
How about a little help?
This should help.
You know, a great mind,
terrible thing to waste.
Let's go.
This isn't over, Ham!
What are you doing?
Oh, man.
I don't wanna swim for it.
Oh, God, of all the rotten luck!
Where have you been?
I had to go get this.
What about Symes?
Sunk. These are his notes.
Get cracking.
You wanna give this to
the Army or something.
They're the real expert.
No, I got you.
You know what
I did before I took this job?
I was a research assistant in a lab.
I prepared slides.
I'm not an expert in animal behavior.
I'm a girl whose uncle
owned a dolphin.
Now, Munoz, Rick, Moises
they're all dead.
Maybe they should've listened to you.
Maybe I should've listened to them!
I was so desperate to be a success
and to get my name on a paper!
I took chances with people's lives.
In that way, I'm exactly like Symes.
You wanna have a pity party, huh? Fine.
Go ahead. But it sure as heck
isn't gonnachangeyour past... or mine.
But it just might keep you from doing
something good with your future.
Besides, you are nothing like Symes.
- Symes was a genius.
- Yeah.
Are you ready to find a weakness?
I hope so.
Based on the strength of recent
reporting, Veronica Vegas...
Gotta love the 24 hour news site.
Everyone here at Chanel Three
wishes her a fond farewell...
That's it.
What's it?
Pteracuda's endothermic.
Endo whatic?
Warm blooded. That's why it's so fast.
- So?
- So there's a systematic imbalance
between its metabolic rate
and its digestive structure.
It burns more calories than
it's body can readily digest.
It's hungry.
Yeah, well, we already established that.
No, it's not just hungry, starving.
It's gotta eat constantly
just to stay alive.
That means it can't get too
far from population centers.
And barracuda are
notorious light hunters.
They'll attack people's key, jewelry,
and any bright, shiny object.
With the right lure, we can bring it close
enough to that giant harpoon of yours.
And what about Sharktopus?
Leave that to me.
Let's go.
Well? Did you find something
that'll work as a lure?
How about this?
Where did you find that?
I shot it.
Is that your answer for everything?
Pretty much.
All right.
Ready?
- How's it looking?
- Bling bling.
Let's go faster.
I don't see any sign of it!
You see anything?
I think we should come around
for another pass.
There.
Hold it steady!
Is that close enough?
Lorena!
Suck on this.
Come on, I gotcha!
Did you get him?
We only got about 30 seconds.
Let's go.
Do you think they both died?
At that range? Nothing on Earth
could've survived.
I need a vacation.
Somewhere relaxing.
Hawaii.
Kansas.