Sharp Stick (2022) Movie Script

[Junglepussy playing
"Trader Joe"]
I think I like him more
than I like Trader Joe's
I'll swallow kids
if he start eatin' vegetables
New York nigga
with the love for Arizonas
I got the juice he 'bout
to start sippin' on
We don't fuck,
he just pick me up
from Trader Joe's
Carry all my groceries
and lick on all my toes
Tryna cuff but I know
you gonna leave me 'lone
[singing along]
When my phone ring
it's 'cause
Of niggas seen
the way I grown
Am I hitting it hard enough?
'Cause it's like...
1, 2, 3.
...lick on all my toes
1, 2, 3, 4...
...'cause of niggas
seen the way I grown
Sarah Jo, are you listening?
Yes, very hard.
You're hitting it very hard.
Okay, from the top.
Really wanna post this today
to keep my numbers trending up.
It's really exhausting
'cause once you go viral,
you can't just rest.
Oh, it's the opposite of rest,
you gotta grind.
Some of these girls,
they're posting 15 times a day.
I swear they're using speed.
I really swear it.
They're not using speed, Mom,
they're rich, and they're bored.
[mother] Hey, who forgot
to squeegee in here?
[song continues in background]
Why aren't you wearing that
cherry print set we got you?
I'm practicing.
It's hanging on the curtain rod,
the tags are still on it.
Why the fuck are the tags
still on it?
You could have told me
before I dropped $45
on something you fucking hate.
I don't hate it,
I just have purple nails today.
Let's just do it later.
-[music stops]
[Sarah Jo] I'm sure
she really did like them.
She's just saving them
for the perfect day.
[door closes]
Did you collect on Mark
in Unit A?
Unit A, I have not yet been able
to locate him yet.
Eviction notice.
Tre, Sarah Jo, breakfast,
come on.
[Khia] Do it, do it,
do it, do it now
Lick it good, suck this pussy
just like you should
Right now, lick it good
Suck this pussy
just like you should
My neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
My neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack
[muted street noises]
[woman] Hi.
Welcome back to week ten
of "Caregiving Essentials
for young people
with Special Needs."
I know it's been tricky
to learn when we can't
all be together.
We get so much
just from absorbing
each other's experiences
and grooving off of each other,
but I want to commend you all
for making the best
of a crummy situation
and pushing on.
How are we all feeling
in our placements?
Sarah Jo?
I love mine.
Zach is the funniest person
I've ever met.
He does the funniest,
most amazing Elvis impression.
We can always count on Sarah Jo
to bring the positivity.
Anyone struggling?
Because that's okay, too.
I think it's weird that they
left me alone in the house
with an 18-year-old girl,
and the kid,
the younger sibling,
isn't even there,
and the parents are never home.
[leader] Um, I'm gonna
get back to you on that.
Uh... it's a very good point.
Um... uh, Sandra,
what about you?
Do you wanna start off
with some markers?
[Josh] This money is
in the bank.
-[dishes clattering]
-I don't know.
I'm just gonna like
hunker down, you know,
kick it around
the old homestead.
I don't know,
maybe we'll hit Erewhon.
Nah, I was thinking
I was gonna maybe work
on some of the plants outside.
[deep voice] Good morning, Z!
Sarah Jo, Sarah Jo,
whaddya know?
-Good morning.
-[Josh] Z, you want milk?
[Heather] Baby, I can't find
my keys anywhere.
Um, when did you last have 'em?
[Heather] I just don't have time
for this right now, okay?
This buyer is coming in
from San Francisco,
he's a Twitter executive.
I have one hour to show him
this house.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, good!
-[imitates explosion]
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
But do you remember,
physical therapy?
-He's got physical therapy.
-[Josh] Yep, got it.
-It's at the track today.
-[Josh] Got it.
-I don't like
when you say "got it,"
because it makes me feel
like you don't got it,
and it makes me feel like
I'm the only person
in the world who's got it.
[Josh] What exactly would you
have liked for me to have said
right then?
What could have I said?
[Heather] "Heather, I'm going
to meet Mary Kublick
at the track."
"We're gonna have his water
and his shin guards."
"I'm not gonna take him
to Chic-fil-A like I did
last time."
[Josh] That's not necess--
Okay, baby, let's just
pretend I said that.
-Can we do that?
-But you didn't say that.
But can we just do that?
Can we just do that?
Please, please, please,
I believe in you.
-[kisses] I'm proud of you.
You are gonna slay.
-I look like a whale.
You do not, look at you!
Baby, you're gonna crush today.
-[Heather] Okay.
-[Josh] Okay.
-[couple kiss]
-[Heather] Love you.
-Go slay the day, Mama.
You gots this, you gots this.
You want a purple?
My man.
-I like what you're
doing there, dude.
Mommy wishes she could stay home
with you all day, okay?
-Goodbye, Mom.
-[Josh and Heather laugh]
Okay, there you have it.
He loves his days with you,
Sarah Jo.
-He's a great person.
[Heather] Okay. [kisses]
Bye, sweetie.
Bye, baby. Go get 'em.
-[Heather] Bye.
-You're home when?
-[Heather] Unclear.
-[door closes]
[Josh sighs]
Wow. I wonder what it's like
to be that busy.
Yeah, me too.
[Josh chuckles]
I don't know, guys.
She's fuckin' awful.
Uh, ahh!
Did I just swear?
Holy sh...
-Bad dad.
Bad daddy, bad!
You just made money, Z-man.
-Yeah, bad.
-Two bucks for the swear turtle.
You're gonna be rich, man.
[deep voice] Two bucks for you.
You know what time it is, Z?
Oh, I think we're about
to get down up in here.
Is it that time, Z?
Is it that time?
[blows raspberry]
Siri, let's play Z's song.
Oh, snap!
-[hip-hop playing]
-Come on!
[Josh] Oh, yeah,
he's feelin' it.
Fresh! That's what I am
Boombox pumpin'
in my left hand
Can't go on,
I'm the king of the land...
[hip-hop continues]
When other emcees
don't know what to say...
Does she wanna dance?
She wants to dance?
-She wants to dance.
Come on, Sarah Jo,
you gotta dance with us.
What the man wants, he wants.
Come on, Z.
Come on, Z.
Oh, you want me
to dance with her?
All right, come on,
Sarah Jo, I guess we're dancin'.
[Sarah Jo giggles]
[Josh] Uh-oh.
Yeah, go, Sarah!
Go, Sarah!
[hip-hop continues]
Sarah Jo!
Way to go, Z!
Yeah, Z!
[Treina] To be clear then,
I am in the dick prison
with Harder,
and I don't wanna be released.
He's everything.
[Marilyn] I can't go through
this again with you, Treina.
Now, who wants to hear
their origin story?
[Treina and Sarah Jo] Me!
[Marilyn] Okay.
So, I was 30
but I felt 80.
I'd spent 13 long years
in this town
doing everything
it had to offer.
The shine and the dark gleam.
The golden man.
Hmm. Musty little ghouls
in suits.
He was an entertainment lawyer
with a big house in the hills.
And he had a penis that was
wider than it was long,
which is called a...
[daughters] Chode.
[Marilyn] Good girls.
So the natural time was
approaching for us to divorce.
He wanted a new, you know,
a new woman to bring
to Oscar parties,
and I wanted a baby.
My doctor said there was
a small chance,
slim to none,
if I didn't get started
right then and there.
You know, it runs
in our family, Sarah Jo.
So, I was at the furrier's,
LeBuque's on Wilshire,
and there was this beautiful
little model,
and she shifted position,
so I noticed she had like
this huge pregnant belly.
And she saw me see her
and she looked scared,
like terrified,
and I realized, oh, my God,
her boss doesn't know.
So I was like, "Shh,
shh, it's okay, don't worry."
And I explained to her
that I could help her.
I could take care of her
and the baby,
if she wanted.
And from that moment on,
we are glued at the hip,
like joined.
And I have her drinking
carrot and yam smoothies.
[Treina] Eww.
I have her doing
dance workouts and lymphatics,
and when she goes into labor,
I leave.
I leave Bruce.
And when you, when you are born,
she leaves with this guy
she met at Scientology,
when they do that thing
where they shock you,
you know, on your wrist
if you're telling a lie.
And you and I,
we move into this sweet little
apartment in Beverly Hills,
and every night
we watch the headlights go by.
And I say...
"Count the diamonds,
little thing."
And you were
a very early counter.
You were.
"Reina" means queen.
And the "T"...
the "T" I added for "truth."
Have to remember
to tell Harder this,
'cause he wants to know
everything about me.
Will you tell mine now?
I was having, um, a fling
with my personal trainer, Roy,
and he was doing such a good job
that I didn't even realize
I was pregnant
till you nearly slipped out
at seven months.
And we did,
we tried to give it a go.
But... he even named you,
you know that?
He was very, very handsome.
But he was just
a really simple guy.
So I bought him
a ticket back to Florida.
It's best just
to keep it us three.
Mom, you were like,
"Well, hey, Roy."
-[Marilyn] Stop!
-You were.
[Marilyn] He was
a very nice man.
-You were like, "Oy, Roy!"
-You are bad.
-"Oy, Troy..." or Roy. [laughs]
-"Oy, Roy!"
-That's so disgusting!
[Treina] Ay-ay-ay!
ZZ Top, what are we
working with today, buddy?
You know something, Z?
I love you.
I don't want you to be
anything in this world
but exactly who you are.
That being said, sometimes
we need to have just like
the ability to just sort of
want to at least change it up
a little bit.
You wanna rock it though, huh?
[chuckles] He wants to rock it.
-Rock it!
-I hear you, dude.
I hear you, it's coming.
Houston, I think we are
ready for liftoff.
[deep voice] In 5, 4...
3, 2, 1...
I gotta land this rocket!
[falsetto] Oh, I'm gonna...
[imitates explosion]
Eat up, big boy.
I'll get you some more milk.
Sarah Jo, I got more batter.
Let me make you some.
Pick a shape.
A mouse?
-A mouse?
-If that's okay.
If that's... if that's...
[Josh] No, it's cool, um...
Let me just like...
[imitates explosion]
...wrap my artistic head
around a mouse.
All right, I see your mouse.
I see your mouse, Sarah Jo.
All right, stand by.
See what we got going here.
[whispering] What do you want
to do today, Zach?
I want to watch
a movie with Elvis.
You wanna watch an Elvis movie?
Let's do that.
You know what, Zach?
You are like Elvis to me.
You mean the best ever?
-You're the best ever.
-No, you're the best ever.
-You're the best ever.
-The best ever...
[Josh] Okay, Sarah Jo,
it is with honor and respect,
I humbly present to you
monsieur le mouse.
-[Josh chuckles]
-[pot clangs]
-Thanks, Z.
Whaddya... [chuckles]
Whaddya think?
You dig it?
[Treina sighs]
This feels fucking fantastic.
My third eye is tired.
It's an ancient ritual.
It clears away years
of impurities.
Emotional, physical, sexual.
I think Harder might be
the full package, guys.
What is in a full package?
Can't believe I'm saying this,
but, like, the husband?
[Marilyn] Oh, no, no, no.
Don't even say that word
in front of me.
After five California divorces,
it loses a little of its tingle.
I know, but it's like...
He's so fucking hot.
He's obsessed with me.
He's nice to dogs.
He's in my scene.
He has a British accent.
He makes a living.
Oh, as what?
What do you mean "as what"?
What does he make
a living doing?
That's a snotty question.
I just asked what he enjoys.
[Treina] He's a club promoter,
You don't have to be
so immediately judgmental
of what people are doing
to rise up in this world.
Everybody has
to start someplace.
He's already said
three different times
he'd never let our family
go hungry.
Our family.
Go hungry.
But we're not hungry.
That's not the point.
[Marilyn] I vote
pool man or gardener.
Both safe, good jobs.
Always in demand.
I think Harder might be Greek.
This too shall pass.
[Marilyn] Mm...
just wanting to kiss Harder
all the time,
fuck Harder all the time.
Mom, eww!
No, I'm just saying,
enjoy it now, you know.
Eat it for breakfast,
lunch and dinner.
'Cause in about 23 years,
you're never gonna wanna
do it again.
[snorts softly]
This too shall pass.
I'm just itchy as fuck.
Is anyone else itchy?
Is the antihistamine hour
upon us?
[Treina] Wait.
Okay, but, like...
he's hanging out
with his ex's cousin
at Universal Studios.
Like, what is that?
[Marilyn, pill in mouth]
It's simple.
You wanna know if he's
really yours?
You look him in the eye
and you say...
"Do you find me beautiful?"
It's foolproof.
He did not think you
were gonna ask that question.
He thought he had endless
amounts of time to decide,
and you are giving him
a limited time offer.
And he starts thinking,
"If I don't act soon,
the next schmo off the bus
from Idaho will."
And that is how I ended up
in not one but two
Duran Duran music videos
with a pet-fuckin' cheetah.
-[Treina] Oh, my God.
-It opened doors with its paw.
-[Treina] Yeah.
So, say after me.
-[Treina] Do...
-[Marilyn] ...find...
[both giggling and snickering]
-[Treina] Do you find...
-[Marilyn] Me.
[Treina] Me.
[Treina] Beautiful?
[Marilyn] The truth,
men love a problem.
Interesting men.
You know, like...
complicated men...
they love a backstory.
Ten boots
and you color each
I like to go
from here to Jersey
Don't even try
to test me, yo
My name's D,
I like to go hard
You know my thing,
it goes about a yard
I'm a steadily deadly beast
I getcha TV,
ten boots and...
-What's up?
[Josh] Hey.
-Is Z asleep? Yeah?
-Mm-hmm, he's still sleeping.
Do you find me beautiful?
I hope these scars
won't be an issue for you.
Whoa, whoa.
Sarah Jo...
Hang on a second.
You really don't need
to do that.
I'm sorry if I gave you, uh,
the wrong impression
or something, but listen,
So, you...
you don't find me beautiful?
No, I just, I haven't...
No, you are.
Yeah, of course...
Of course you are.
-That's not...
-I'm still a virgin, you know?
Shut the fuck up.
[laughs] That's crazy.
I just didn't...
Really? I mean, that's great.
Good for you. That's something
you should, like, protect and--
No, I don't wanna be a virgin.
-Because I'm 26.
Ah, Sarah Jo, come on.
And I like you.
You're sensitive.
Masculine, proven by how
you relate to your son.
-You don't judge people
for being different...
...and you are
such a good dancer,
and my mother says that means
you'll be good in the sack.
Well, you've gotta listen
to your mom.
You should never argue with mom,
but, please,
just keep that there, keep...
I gotta tell you something,
Sarah Jo.
I'm... I'm older than you.
And I know a few things.
And I promise you,
you do not want to lose
your virginity to me.
I promise.
I'm like, uh...
I mean, I'm like a loser.
No, I'm not just
saying this, Sarah Jo.
I'm like grizzled and old
and like my body is...
Just trust me... pl-please?
You don't want this.
You-You should find someone
really nice.
You know? Find a--
Hey, find a nice guy.
Like a nice, a nice...
Sarah Jo.
Like a nice boy who's soft
and treats you well,
like a fuckin' Disney star,
Zac Efron.
I don't watch Disney.
[Josh] Well...
[Sarah Jo]
Do you see these scars?
Um, Sarah Jo, I do.
I do.
I have these scars because I had
a radical hysterectomy at 15.
It was an emergency.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You don't have to be sorry,
you didn't do it.
My body was in pain one day.
It was in so much pain
that I passed out in gym class
and everyone was running
over me to capture the flag.
And then the doctors went in,
and when they went in,
everything was all stuck
together like
someone had spit
chewing gum in there,
and instead of having
one uterus,
I had two very small ones with
the ovaries stuck into them.
Nothing would have ever grown
in there, even if I tried.
Maybe a little bit
but it would have died
before it was ever born.
-So they took
everything out, and...
without puncturing my intestines
because my mother said
she wouldn't live with
a child with a colostomy bag.
I don't... I hit menopause
when I was 17,
and I don't feel my age
and I don't feel my body
and so I'm just asking you
for this favor,
for this one thing.
If you think I'm,
if you think I'm beautiful...
I do.
I think you're beautiful.
Can I kiss you?
Okay, I'm gonna.
Oh, fuck.
Zach is sleeping
for another 45 minutes.
Does it take that long?
[Josh chuckles]
[Josh] If you asked Heather,
she would definitely say no.
Can I go down on you, Sarah Jo?
-Go down?
-[Josh] Where? No, can...
-I don't know what...
[Josh] I'm sorry.
Can I... Can I kiss you here?
-Right here.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
[romantic rock music playing]
Are you okay?
[Sarah Jo] I just wanna do
the main thing now.
Can we do the main thing?
-Yeah, we can do the main thing.
Yeah, all right.
-Let's... come here.
-Come here, just lay down, okay?
All right, be careful.
Wait, hang on.
Let me just get
something for your head.
-All right.
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna take these off, okay?
All right.
Oh, boy.
Okay. All right.
you gotta promise me,
if anything hurts or turns
at all uncomfortable,
you've gotta tell me, okay?
-You ready?
Yeah? Okay.
Is that all right? Yeah?
Okay, shh, shh, shh.
Yeah, is it all right?
Ah, fuck, yeah.
You okay?
Okay, and it
doesn't hurt, right?
Ah, fuck...
Shh-shh-shh... wait.
Ah, fuck...
Ah, shit.
-I'm so sorry.
Fuck, I'm so sorry.
What? Is it done?
Oh! Son of a bitch!
Goddamn it.
What? Are you okay?
Yeah. I'm... I'm really...
Is it...
Does it... does it
usually take that long?
No, no, no.
No, it did-- No, definitely not.
So, what happened?
[sighs] I just...
It's that...
That's why I knew that
we shouldn't have done this.
I'm sorry, I...
You should never...
Heather and me, like, don't...
we don't do this.
Do what?
We don't, like,
have sex anymore.
Like now for two years,
we just...
Well, it's like
fucking pathetic.
And so...
But how did she make the baby?
First of all, it cost like
150 fucking grand, you know?
You just, you...
you felt super good, and...
you're so fucking beautiful
and like sexy,
and I don't know, it just...
I got excited
and I'm really sorry,
and I can't believe
that that was...
Can we do it again?
You wanna do it again?
Yeah, Sarah Jo.
I mean, I need like ten minutes,
but is that...
-And in the meantime...
...I didn't really like
the thing that you were doing
when you put your mouth
or your lips or your tongue
or whatever down here.
It didn't really feel that good.
It didn't?
Holy shit.
Nah, you should, like...
I used to have a pretty...
...pretty wicked reputation for
being pretty darn good at that.
But, okay.
No, no, I'll take the hit.
You're something else, Sarah Jo.
It's okay if I touch you here?
Is that all right?
How is that?
How is that?
[Sarah Jo moaning]
Shh, shh, shh. That's it.
That's it.
-[hip-hop playing]
Okay. I don't think I need
ten minutes anymore, Sarah Jo.
-I'm tryna blow her back out,
walking funny for the year
-Wobble, wobble!
Tell me that you want me,
that's the shit I always hear
I got three bitches on me
like the three musketeers
Aye, aye!
Tell lil' shorty come here,
I'm tryna blow her back out
-Walking funny for the year
-Wobble wobble!
-Tell me that you want me
That's the shit
I always hear,
I got three bitches on me
Like the three musketeers
[rap continues,
Sarah Jo moaning]
All right, here we go.
-You wanna make money, bro?
-What you fuckin' say?
Or do you want your kids
to fucking starve?
Do you want your unborn baby
to fucking starve?
Come to my next wedding,
be wearing fucking diapers
and rags with no shoes on.
I'm up there getting
married to a fucking
denim princess, bro.
Can you imagine ten years ago,
if I had said,
"Hey, Yuli, let's put
a fucking kombucha spout
in a fucking denim lap,"
dude, you would have puked.
Well, tell them that
when I've got my dick out
on the cover
of Rivet magazine.
And you're like taking
smoothie orders at Magic, bro.
You're legitimately filthy.
But it's nice.
There's gonna be a fucking
tofu lab, you know?
-Like a fucking granola bar.
-Oh, I love it.
-We sell pants, dude.
[Yuli] Here we go,
let the Yule log get some.
[Josh] Aw, shit! Oh, yes!
[door closes]
-[Heather snickers]
Mm, Mama!
-[Heather, laughing] No!
-[Yuli] Come on.
You gotta be the most beautiful
pregnant woman in all
of California.
-Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
Did you think I was
your husband for a second?
No, I did not because
my husband would never
touch me that tenderly.
-[Yuli] That's true.
-[Heather] What are
you two idiots
doing up there
for so many hours?
[Yuli] Making moves.
Making power moves.
That's just what we do.
From 2002.
Never been me-too'd.
Just free-stylin' with my crew.
Heather, Josh, Zach...
Zach's babysitter.
The stiff Swiss dick
is the pick of the litter.
[Heather] No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
-[Yuli] What did I... [laughing]
-You're done. You're done.
When the girls scream "danke,"
I just reply "bitte, schon."
I grew up in the Alps,
but I'm not Austrian.
-You're fucking glowing.
-Stop it.
No, you are,
you are fucking aglow.
I mean, don't stop it,
but go home to the 21-year-old
who's in your bed, truly.
-You get what you get
and you don't get upset.
-[Heather] You're an idiot.
[Yuli] 'Sup? I love you.
[Heather] I love you.
[departing footsteps]
[door closes]
You know, you don't
have to do that.
I can do that for you.
Zach is still at swim practice.
Oh, thank you, Sarah Jo,
but it's one of the few things
that makes me feel
like a competent mother,
so I'll finish it up myself.
-[container clattering]
Let's see if he
actually eats this.
These tops.
Ow! Ow, my God.
-Are you okay?
-I cut myself. Ow!
-Ow, that hurts.
-Okay, one second,
let me get something.
I don't know
how I just cut myself
on a children's snack pack.
I feel like a modern miracle,
that's not supposed to happen.
-There you go.
-Thank you.
Oh, that hurts.
Oh, my God.
Sarah Jo, you really are
such a gem with him.
It makes leaving him every day,
especially like this,
a lot more bearable.
So, thank you.
[Heather sniffles]
I'm sorry.
I literally don't know
what's happening.
It happens like six times
a day now.
I'm barely even crying,
it's nothing.
It's nothing.
Please ignore me.
-I won't ignore you.
-It's like a hormone.
Just like, it's not even tears,
it's just like this thing
that happens.
It's like my...
[exhales sharply]
And I know I asked you
to stay late tonight,
which I really appreciate.
There's this whole work thing,
I don't even wanna go, but...
I would love it if you could be
a little bit more on it
with picking up
after Zach's activities,
you know, putting things
back in the bin.
It just feels like the yard's
been hit by a hurricane,
the living room's a mess,
you know?
And so if you could just
put things back in the bin
after you finish one thing,
and then, you know,
let the dishwasher run,
you would be batting
a thousand, truly.
Ow, ow, ow.
God, this really hurts.
[Josh] No, it's just like
he's like
forebodingly disgusting.
I mean, like, I swear to God,
like Yuli opened a bar
just to get pussy.
And like think about that, he...
And if you think about,
like, right now,
like in this political climate,
it's like... [laughs]
You know? I mean, imagine if
Yuli did not have a rich dad.
The shit's cool. I mean,
he's got, like, good taste.
But like...
It's like, would the world
legitimately be
a better place or would it
be a worse place?
I mean, like answer that...
But seriously, though, like,
answer the fucking question.
No, it's like, I just, like,
I just, like, have this picture
of him in Cabo
and just like, just like how
just fucking decrepit he is.
Like, the things he wants
and like what he goes after,
it's just like, he's like
a legitimate maniac.
Well, dude, your fuckin' wife
ought to wash your feet
before you go to bed too,
you fuckin'...
Oh, shit.
Hey. Oh, fuck. Um...
Yeah, man, let me, um...
I gotta go.
Yeah, no, I love you.
Yeah, late. Yep.
Wow. Um...
Sarah Jo, I'm, uh...
I'm glad you're here.
I gotta...
You are?
[Josh] Yeah.
Yeah, I just, um...
needed to, um...
I wanna, I wanna talk to you.
What happened between us
the other day,
Sarah Jo, that...
that just can't happen.
It cannot.
And I will not
allow that to happen again.
As a dad and as a husband,
that is just not the kind
of guy I want to be.
I think there's been like
a lot of pressure around here,
the thing with Heather and me.
And, uh, that's not an excuse,
you know, but it's, um...
And look, man,
I think you're like...
I think, I think
you're wonderful.
You add so much
to like the general vibe
around here, man.
You like, um...
I just, for me, it's about Zach.
It is about Zach.
And he comes first.
He comes first.
And... and that's it.
I just, like, really wanna...
I really...
I really wanna
preserve my family.
Come here.
[Josh groaning,
Sarah Jo sighing]
[sultry jazz playing]
[Treina sobbing]
[Marilyn] Oh, good.
It's your turn.
I... I can't with her anymore.
Been at it for hours.
[sobbing continues]
Oh, and, honey,
when you're done,
can you help me
figure out how to put
this air purifier together?
-[Treina sobbing]
-[Treina] Leave me alone.
It's me, it's just me.
He said to definitely
check again
'cause this shit is not his.
Which shit?
The baby, Sarah Jo, the baby!
Here you go.
They're all scum, you know?
Mom's right.
They're all just waiting
to reveal their scumminess,
even the good ones.
Maybe he doesn't understand.
Maybe if you explain to him
that he's the only person
you've had sex with.
But he's not the only one,
Sarah Jo.
I have some fucking math to do.
I'm so fucking stupid.
No, you're not.
You're not stupid.
It's okay.
Someday, someday...
you are gonna find...
you're gonna find someone
who makes you feel safe.
Like they see you.
And you won't
have to say a word.
How would you know?
[Loyal Lobos playing
"Whatever It Is"]
Right back!
I think my shirt was
still on, I was face down
Anyway we did it was fine
You turn my days
into night time...
-[indistinct conversation]
-[Yuli] Did you see how
this goes together?
-[Zach] No.
Like they're touching you.
[Josh] Welcome to Yuliville.
[chuckles] You're gonna love it.
-[Sarah Jo] Where is he?
-[Josh] He's like doing
Yuli shit, I don't know.
How freaking cool is this?
Gave me something
you bought for your ex...
[softly] Remember,
you got that family emergency,
and I am doing
the business thing with Yuli.
It's just really important
that we just keep this stuff
totally between you and me.
[Sarah Jo] I haven't told
one single soul.
-[Josh] Hey-o!
-[Sarah Jo laughing]
Baby, I'm a soldier
Shooting places
I can't see right
Crowded spaces
make me scared
And it's hard to feel deep
But whatever it is
I feel with you
I want it to last
for a while
It's yours, huh?
You can have it.
Bite it.
[whispering] My mother always
said that it would put me
too far into my head.
[chuckles] What?
Your mom?
I mean, I'm, I'm right here.
Hey, I'm not gonna let you
go too far into your head.
I'm not gonna let
anything bad happen to you.
Only if you want.
[laughs] Wagga-wagga.
I also got shrooms.
If you felt like eating some.
-I mean...
I figure...
You okay? Yeah?
If you wanna eat some,
we could eat some.
What do they do?
They make you see things,
like if there's something
that you've been avoiding
or that you, you like keep it
in a box that you
don't wanna see,
they make you see 'em, and they
make you see 'em clearly.
It can be super beautiful.
I don't think
I'm avoiding anything.
You know, I don't think you're
avoiding anything either.
I think you might really
fuckin' love mushrooms.
[romantic jazz playing]
[Sarah Jo moaning]
I remember when you said
you didn't like that.
[Sarah Jo laughs]
[Josh] Now you do.
I love that you learned
to like it.
Come here.
It's beautiful, just like you.
Gotta put it on you.
Look at it.
I want you to have that.
You are such a special...
It's a magical gift to me.
Unlike anything else
in the world.
I've been thinking...
that I'm gonna leave.
You and me and Z, with our own
little special family.
I know where we're going.
I said, "Whaaat?"
I've never had that before.
I've never had a life before.
[woman moaning on computer]
Wait, wait, so there are lots
of different people who do this?
"Lots" is an understatement.
I mean, there's a fucking ton.
[deep voice] I mean,
there is so much porn!
You find like
a special brand that you like,
you know, a actor that you dig,
like look.
That's Bobbi Rotten right there.
I like Bobbi Rotten.
She looks like she'd totally
fuckin' destroy me.
[laughs] Kind of scared of her.
I don't know, so you just
pick one you like
and off you go.
[kisses] Do you know that?
-I'm concentrating.
-[chuckles] Oh, yeah.
-You concentrating, professor?
Mm? Yeah. [silly voice]
"I'm concentrating."
"I'm Sarah Jo
and I'm concentrating
on the pornography."
"Yeah, I wanna..."
-Shh! I can't...
-[continuing silly voice]
I can't listen to you
and this at the same time.
-[Josh] I'm sorry.
-[camera shutter clicking]
[man] Up here, gorge.
You look sick.
[Treina] You're getting
the top of my...?
[man] I'm getting all of you.
It is amazing.
You look so good.
Oh, my God.
[Treina] I feel like shit.
-Oh, thank you.
-Thank you.
-Thank you for coming.
-Thank you for having me.
-Here you go, babe.
-Just always believed
in the power of ritual.
You know, it's like magic
we can all tap into
in our daily lives.
And like energy and love,
it can neither be created
nor destroyed.
Absolutely. Love that.
[Marilyn] Mm.
Mm, I was just getting started.
I was speaking
to the power of ritual
and saying how even if Treina
can't bring this baby forth
in the Earth realm,
we can still usher its spirit
forth with a baby shower.
[Jace] This is intensely cool,
like so wild.
I mean, it is sick.
Like good sick.
Like it's an iconic moment.
[Marilyn] Oh.
Well, it's for Tre.
with an abundance of gifts
and love,
we show this child
that it was wanted,
even if it
could not be completed.
And we resonate the power
of our unbreakable love
for Treina
and her ability to produce life.
Now, gifts.
[paper crinkling]
Jace, it's so cute.
A onesie. What the fuck
am I supposed to do with this?
I thought we were bringing
like actual presents
for an actual baby.
Huge apologies.
You know what,
I also brought a candle
and some old Percocet
from when I had my wisdoms out.
-Ooh, you lucky dog.
Mama's gonna be joining in
on some of that.
[Jace] I brought enough
for everyone, so don't worry.
Can't believe
you still have some.
-And this.
-That's from me.
It's broken.
It's sacred, though.
It's made of love,
and like Mama always says,
love can neither be created
nor destroyed.
[Jace] Well, I think
that is beautiful, Sarah Jo.
[Marilyn] Did you enjoy
your anesthesia?
[Jace] I did,
it was unbelievable.
-[Marilyn] Really?
-There's nothing like it.
I like laughing gas, too,
but the anesthesia's better.
Oh, it's so much better.
I think we should get you some.
[Sarah Jo] Two people
having sex together.
[woman sighing, gasping]
[man sighing]
[woman moaning]
[woman] Oh,
come and lick my face.
[woman moaning]
You're so fuckin' beautiful,
it makes me wanna fuckin'
kill myself.
You're so pretty.
This ain't dirty.
It ain't.
I feel so connected to you.
Congratulations, Vance Leroy.
You are my porn star.
That's so beautiful.
[Heather sighs, groans]
-[Heather] Ow!
-[whispering] Okay.
Go watch a movie. Go on.
[Heather whimpering]
[Heather] Ow!
Oh, my God.
My water broke
and I slipped in it.
I think I'm having
a contraction.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
-Oh, God.
-Oh, God.
-There you go.
Oh! Oh, God.
-Should I call an ambulance?
-Can you call Josh?
He's on a hike with Yuli.
I think they just left.
-He's not that far.
-[phone dialing]
-Josh, hi.
She's in labor right now.
Right now.
It's coming fast.
Okay, okay.
He's gonna be here soon.
What else do you need?
A towel.
Where did you get that necklace?
County fair with my sister.
[door opens]
[Josh] It's baby time,
baby time, ba-ba-baby time
Holy shit!
It's real, bab--
Baby, I'm gone, what,
30 minutes, you're like
fuckin' ready to pop?
Okay, super dad,
have the bags packed.
Where is Z? Is Z upstairs?
I called your mom and I told her
we're coming through.
I'm just gonna
throw this shit in the car.
You know,
I'm gonna leave 'em here.
Hey, sorry, baby, I feel like
we should get going, okay?
-The Volvo's out there.
-I wanna take an ambulance.
No, no, baby, why would we
call an ambulance...
[laughing] ...when I'm
gonna fucking drive you? Z!
I'm gonna drive you, let's go.
Come on.
Call an ambulance.
I wanna take an ambulance.
Should I call you
an ambulance, baby?
Why don't I get you a taxicab?
I'm driving you.
Come on, let's go!
I'm taking an ambulance
to the hospital.
And I can take care of Zach.
He's going to my mother's.
I'm taking an ambulance
to the hospital.
Hey, baby, we're having a baby.
We're having a baby.
What is the problem?
[Heather] Fuck you!
Stay the fuck away from me.
What is the problem?
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
What's going on?
What are...
What did she say to you?
You're such a fucking loser.
Hang on, what did you...
You're a fucking animal.
What did you say to my...
What did you say?
[slaps floor] What did you say?
What the fuck did you do?
I was really scared, baby.
You were scared?
-I was scared.
-You were scared?
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
-You were scared?
[Heather] So, what am I
supposed to do with this one?
Josh, where am I
supposed to file this one?
Wait, baby, I'm so sorry.
-This could be like
the lawyer...
-[Josh] Fuck.
-[Heather] ...where you just
ended it on your own.
-Come on, baby.
Or is this gonna be like
the stripper...
where I had to stop you
from moving to Quebec?
Or is this gonna be
like the girl who worked
at the bridal store on Melrose
who kept showing up at places
we were eating with our son?
But I know...
I really, I really know
that I love you.
Okay? And I know that's like...
I love Zach.
I love Zach
and I'm so sorry, baby.
-I'm so sorry.
-[Heather] No!
I'm just a fuck-up.
I mean, I'm a fucking fuck-up.
I've always been
a fucking fuck-up,
and you know that
and I know that
and I'm fucking disgusting
and fucking pathetic.
But it's just who I am, baby.
I'm so sorry,
I'm so ashamed of myself.
But, sweetheart, I promise you,
if you give me one chance...
like I would fucking
kill for you.
I would kill for you,
I would kill for this family.
I would... I would kill for Zach
and I would kill for this baby.
Baby, she doesn't fucking mean
anything to me.
She doesn't fucking
mean anything to me.
-Hey! Sweetheart, please.
-No, no, no!
Please! Please, baby, come on.
Please. Come on.
Let's go to the hospital
and have this baby,
this beautiful baby
that we made.
Please, sweetheart?
-[Heather whimpering]
Please, baby, don't cry.
Sarah Jo, could you please go?
Sarah Jo, guess what,
you're not needed here anymore.
Could you please go?
Sarah Jo, could you please go?!
Baby, she's gone, okay?
-Hey. Hey.
-[bluesy ballad playing]
Don't touch me.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Please don't touch me.
Come on, sweetheart, listen.
Listen, I'm here for you.
I'm here for this baby, okay?
-Please don't touch me.
-I'm never gonna
fuck up again, okay?
[Treina] Sister, can you
come take this full body
for my Insta?
I got some
of these amazing angles,
but I can't get my face
and my butt in the shot.
Bitch, are you deaf?
[Julia Jacklin], weak and thin
Too tired to run away
What do I do now?
There's nothing left to say
Don't know how
to keep loving you
Now that I know you
too well
Don't know how to keep
loving you
Now that I know you so well
Don't know how
to keep loving you
Now that I know you
too well
I just wanna
keep loving you...
[breathing erratically]
[Vance exhales sharply]
Oh, my God, Amber. [gasps]
You have such a strong back.
It's almost primal.
-[laughing] Are you a martial
artist or something?
-[Amber sighing]
I just wanna say,
I admire your commitment
to personal expression.
-It's almost humbling.
Julie Jo, hey.
I just wanna say,
I was raised with sisters,
and I feel that strength
in you.
See you on the other side.
[Sarah Jo] Dear Vance Leroy,
you are my favorite porn star.
It took me some digging
to find you.
Most of the men reminded me
of garbage collectors
or my old stepdads,
but I like the way
that you use your body
almost like a gymnast,
and the fact that, like me,
you have a scar
and you're not afraid
to show it to the world.
You're not worried about
looking perfect all the time,
and you even laugh
occasionally while doing it.
I could do without the tattoos,
but, guess what,
not everyone is perfect,
least of all me.
You must have a lot of fans,
but I bet you don't
have any like me.
For starters, I was
a porn virgin until I met you,
and I was an actual virgin
until like a month before that.
Speaking of me, Vance,
I've had my heart broken.
I was having a clandestine
affair with a married man
and I know, I know
that makes me sound like
I have no morals or scruples,
but the situation
was very complicated.
You see, I'm not someone
who was destined to find love,
and so when it appears
in my path, I have to take it.
Judge me all you want,
but I know my truth, Vance,
and I'm turning it
over and over,
trying to understand why
and how this could have
happened to me.
I gave my soul and body
to this man and promised him
every fiber of my being
and every day of my future
and then just in an instant...
-Sarah Jo, could you please go! fast as it began,
his eyes turned black
-and I was nothing to him.
-Just go!
And then it hit me, Vance,
as clear as the air
after it rains in Malibu.
Am I bad at sex?
I thought I was good at it,
but maybe that's just because
I had so much fun.
Suddenly I started to remember
not just the good
and beautiful moments,
but I also remembered the parts
where I was confused.
[exhaling noisily]
No, no, no, baby, uh...
I don't know how to tell you.
Um, you don't have to
like blow on it.
Or a little bit scared.
You all right?
Or it just didn't work.
I did, and you were strong
and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless...
Maybe everything
I didn't know how to do
made me impossible
to truly love.
[Josh] Fuckin' broke my dick.
And maybe if I knew it all,
nobody would ever
have the chance
to do this to me again,
because, Vance, I cannot,
I will not take it.
And so I must execute a plan.
Write it on the skyline
All we had is gone now
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the rooftops
Write it on the skyline
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped
would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
-Let me tell you now...
[Sarah Jo] I have to be brave.
I have to be strong,
like when I was a kid
and the doctor was taking blood
and said, "This will just be
a sharp stick,"
and I would know
it was going to hurt
more than they said
and therefore beat them
to it in my mind.
That was my power.
I did
Good night, Vance.
[horns honking]
[traffic passing]
But seriously,
this job is kind of cool
because they have
the catalog girls, you know.
Then if you really impress them,
they'll have you work runway
and sometimes these, like,
really big celebrity parties.
[Marilyn] But they have
to pay for that.
They can't just
send you free clothes.
Mom, you're not listening.
The free clothes are a bonus.
[Marilyn] Bonus? So you have
a contract, or...?
-[Treina] It's not about
a contract.
I get really frustrated
because I always feel
like I have to start
-from the beginning with you,
and you're not listening.
-I'm so sorry.
-[Treina] So I post
a photo from Double Kisses.
-[Marilyn] Got it.
[Treina] I put
"Double Kisses Ambassador,"
or "Partner," sorry,
in the hashtag.
Then they give me
a special code.
"Use my code for 10% off."
-[Marilyn] So someone gets
10% off and you get money how?
-Yeah. And then, basically,
if enough people click
on my link, like you know
when I do my--
-Just tell me you're not
getting paid, it's fine.
-I am getting paid!
[knock on door]
[man] Hey there,
little creature.
Hello. Come in.
[man] Nice spot.
So, you like pink?
Not really.
Did you bring the stuff?
-The lube?
[man] Uh...
Oh, man, I plain forgot.
There's a lot
of plastic in here.
Say, you're not gonna
murder me, are you?
My mom's renovating.
[man] Wait a minute,
your mom's here?
Need me to go slower?
[faucet running]
[Sarah Jo] Dear Vance Leroy,
is there a way to look
into someone's eyes
and be sure that
they won't kill you?
-[man] Tell me
when you're ready.
-I'm ready.
-I'm ready.
-I'm ready.
I don't mind
a little rough-housing,
but I do, like most ladies,
have a line.
Some of these guys go too fast,
others go too slow.
Others don't realize they weigh
twice as much as me,
and others stay too long
-looking at my personal things
and asking personal questions.
-[man] How bad do you want it?
-Last night a man came in here
hoping I would play dead
so that he could
pretend to bury me.
Of course I said no because
that is not on my list
and frankly
it's a waste of my time,
but I kept thinking,
"Vance will love this story."
I am also wondering
if you prefer an untamed bush
or a quote-unquote
"clean snatch."
-[man] Are you ready? You sure?
My research says that I have
what are known as tiny titties,
although I do sort of wish
I had big milky naturals,
you know, jugs.
Really bad.
Maybe then some of these guys
would just come, already.
Thank you for being
a real friend.
Yours in truth, Sarah Jo.
[Marilyn] Oh, Tre,
of all the ridiculous things
you could have done.
Mom, you've always taught me
that self-expression
is paramount.
Yeah, what happens when you
get a great film role
that needs to feature your neck?
Then what?
And what does it even mean?
"God's favorite sinner."
It's a sick tattoo, Mama.
[knock on door]
[Sarah Jo] Hello.
Hey, what... [clears throat]
Hey, what's up?
Nothing much.
Do you wanna come in?
Sure. Um...
I'm Arvin.
You can call me Arv, though.
Everybody calls me Arv.
You're Bernice, right?
Do people ever call you Bernie?
-I... I guess so, yeah.
-[bottles rattling]
Well, you look
just as cute as the pictures.
Um... do you want a spritzer?
Honestly, I'd rather just
get to it, if you'd still like
the blow job that I offered.
I mean... of course.
But... don't think I'm
insane or anything, but...
don't you think they're
a bit better with a little
context, so to speak, or...?
No, I don't wanna do that.
I just really wanna get
to the blow job.
Okay, well, blow jobs might seem
like a big deal to most guys,
but... I'm gonna let you in
on a dirty little secret.
I... I see thousands
of them a day.
I work in porn.
-You work in porn?
-Yeah, not like a big shot like
a porn star guy or anything,
but, you know,
just an assistant.
I run around and grab water,
shit like that.
So if you work in porn,
does that mean
that you meet all of
the porn celebrities though?
Yeah, a lot of them.
Have you met Vance Leroy?
You're a Vance Leroy fan.
Sweet guy.
Could you give him a letter
I wrote for him?
-A letter?
-[knock on door]
-[door opens]
-Hey, you have Mom's
back massager?
She's having
a really bad spasm again.
-No, I don't have it.
-Are you sure?
-I've never taken it.
-Is someone in here?
Oh, hey, I'm Arvin.
Ow, my tattoo.
He's a friend from class
and he's leaving any second now.
Nice jeans.
Almost got those shoes.
All right, bye, Marvin.
[Arvin] Bye.
[Treina, teasingly] Sarah Jo!
Who the hell is that?
She's my sister.
-She's cute.
-I know.
She's not, like, cuter than you.
Listen, if you want the blow job
that I offer you,
that's fine, but I... we...
can we get started?
Because I have a lot of things
I need to do.
Shit, okay, I'm sorry.
Well, you know,
if you just want to hang out
another time, that's fine.
No, I don't think so.
Okay, well, uh, I can
grab that letter if you want.
[bottles rattling]
Jesus Christ, man.
Did you write a book
over there or something?
Don't look.
How many chapters
in that thing, man?
-[paper tearing]
This is a big act of trust.
I am insane to do this.
But you know where to find me
if he answers.
Enjoy the spritzers, and, uh...
I'll let you know how this goes.
Okay, later.
[rock music playing]
Gimme more of the same
A heavy heart
And a sinking feeling
[Yuli] Tali, can we get a...
a little top-up over here?
Thank you, mama.
Thank you, Tali.
[Tali, drily] Any time.
[whispering] That's Yuli?
Yeah. You wanna go say hi?
Can you pull your mask down
a little?
My God, you're beautiful.
Perfect. Lips together,
teeth apart.
Actually, maybe just smile.
Great. Now, you cannot
go wrong with a smile.
I'm gonna get you a drink.
What do you want?
I don't know.
Uh... oh.
White wine.
Just gonna start
with a simple white wine.
Okay. Yes, great.
Do we know each other
from somewhere?
I just like your...
your shirt.
[laughs] Okay.
Thanks. Yeah.
You know, it's a good shirt.
I like your bow.
You don't see those every day.
Thank you.
I don't go out very much
and so I thought I'd put in
a little special decoration.
Yeah, well, you know, you look
like a little Christmas tree.
Oh, yo!
What... Uh...
You didn't want me to touch you?
No, wait, you know,
I didn't say all that, but...
I like your face.
You are a weird
and lovely surprise.
You wanna hear a secret?
I control the music here.
You wanna do some coke?
Hey, Tali, you can go.
I'll lock up, ma.
Oh. Fancy that.
[Yuli] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm...
-[Sarah Jo] Mmm.
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
[Yuli] Whoa.
[Sarah Jo] Ow!
[Yuli] You okay?
I feel happy.
Do you want a blow job?
[Yuli] Hmm?
-I wanna give you a blow job.
[Yuli, whispering]
I wanna fuck you.
I wanna give you a blow job.
-[buttons rattling on floor]
[Sarah Jo] I said blow job.
I only said blow job.
[Yuli] Uh, I'm confused.
I mean, I'm...
I mean, come on.
But I'm...
I'm really, really sorry
about your dress.
[Treina] Hang on,
I can't hear you.
I'm trying to take
a picture of my breakfast.
-Portrait mode...
-[Marilyn] Well,
they used to make this
at all the fancy boutique hotels
so I did my version.
Tell me if you like it.
Can you stop scratching
your vagina?
I'm not scratching my vagina.
-You really fuckin' are.
-Am not.
[Marilyn] I will pay you both
a million dollars
to not say "vagina"
before 10 a.m.
Okay, fine, then stop
scratching "it."
[Marilyn] Honey, are you okay?
Is it a wiping thing?
Maybe take an oatmeal bath
or something?
Yo, guys, it's your boy, Vance.
I'm not even kidding.
Someone's gotta call the cops.
I got too many boobs
up in my face.
I'm worried
I'm gonna suffocate.
You know, before you girls
went busting on in here,
I was about to have...
-[knocking] Sarah Jo?
-...a major epiphany on
this graffiti I'm working on.
It's Mercedes.
We've missed you in class.
I know you're not
at your placement
at Josh and Heather's anymore.
They didn't give
a reason for your departure.
Are you okay, Sarah Jo?
I don't know
what's going on with you
at home or in your heart,
but you're such
a good care giver.
It would be a shame if you
stopped helping these kids,
because they really need you.
We have a girl in Pasadena
who needs someone.
Her name is Laila.
She has cerebral palsy.
I think you two
would really love each other.
-[taps keyboard]
-[Vance] All right, fuck it.
Which one of you healing queens
wants to take a ride
on papa's shoulders?
-[women tittering]
-That's it.
[Vance laughing]
I'm in goddamn love, you guys.
You're my best friends.
My best fuckin' friends.
I'm dead without you.
D-E-A-D. I think
that's how you spell it.
-[Heather] Go!
-[Josh] Let's go. Good boy.
-[Heather] Good boy!
-[Josh] Look at the man!
-[Heather] This is a fun walk!
-[Josh] Look at the man!
-[Heather] This is a fun walk!
-[Josh] Look at the man!
[Heather] It's a good day.
We're walking in the sunshine.
You like bagels?
-[Josh] Gonna get bagels
-[Heather] Let's be careful!
-Hold on.
Just so you know,
in the last month,
I've done anal
and I've done bukkake
and cream pie and fisting
and a hand job and rimming
and pegging and all of it!
[Josh] What the fuck, Sarah Jo?
Oh, and I almost gave
Yuli a blow job.
-[Zach] Sarah.
-[Heather] Are you
fucking kidding me?
You're the most fucking,
obnoxious person I've ever met.
Take him, take him.
[Josh] I'm holding the baby,
you pick him up.
[Heather] I still have
stitches in my vagina.
-Can you pick this...?
-Come on, Z, Z.
He doesn't wanna go up.
You told him he's taking a walk,
-and now we're
not gonna take the walk?
-I don't want to take a walk.
I didn't know she was
gonna be there.
She might be hiding
in the fucking bushes,
you fucking asshole.
[Josh] Watch your language.
What is the matter with you?
-[Heather] Hey,
what is the matter with me?
-[Josh] Get ahold of yourself.
[Heather] Are you kidding?
Get ahold of myself?
-Great, stand there and scream.
That's awesome, good for you.
-You monster!
I need you for a sec.
One second!
You look so beautiful.
How sick is this?
The company I'm working with
is sending me the sickest shit.
Can you do pics?
Your bed is amazing for this.
Do we want flowers?
[phone clicking]
Should I do the fan?
[Sarah Jo] Mm-hmm.
Lay it around.
Who was that guy the other day?
Let me see.
Nobody. It was just some...
some guy from class.
Eww! Cute.
Do you like him?
-Do you even get crushes?
Not really.
Ugh. I don't get it.
I feel like
I have to have a crush,
like I was born with a crush.
I was like in the nursery
crushing on a fetus.
Are you still sad about Harder?
That dude? Fuck no.
He can barely read.
How do you get
over them so quickly?
'Cause there's literally
a million of them.
You saw how many
fucking husbands mom had.
It was like a joke.
I can't get
their faces straight.
It's like one big denim lap.
"Me Eric, me Bob, me..."
You remember how mom
used to have you scare off
her really bad one-night stands?
Like, you in that cat costume.
You'd be like drinking water
from one bowl,
eating your yogurt
from the other fucking bowl.
Like rubbing your butt
on the wall,
flicking your tail,
-meowing, purring.
-[Sarah Jo meows]
And we'd just be like,
"Oh, yeah, that's just
our family cat."
And then I'd hiss at them
when they'd leave.
That's the thing, SJ.
Say what you will about mom,
but she understands
this one important fact:
there's always another one.
And another one.
And another one.
Like, you can literally
replace the feeling
with an even better one
than you expected.
[whispering] Always.
Sir? Mark, sir.
I'm just kindly checking in
about rent again, Mark.
-[Arvin] Howdy.
What are you doing here?
Meet me over there.
You like your presents?
Yes. The lights and the DVD
were very neat.
Well, I got something
a whole lot better.
Arvin, I don't have time
for a big chat right now.
I'm very busy,
I don't have time.
What, more blow jobs or...?
[clears throat]
Tough crowd. Um...
Take this. Watch it alone
in your room later.
It's, um...
I'll be back to get
the praise I deserve,
'cause Arvin's really
outdone himself today.
So, I'll see you later, right?
[Sarah Jo] No.
[laughs] Sick.
I'll see you later.
-[Arvin] Hey, Vance,
what's up, man?
Sorry to bug you, but did you
have a chance to check
on my friend's letter to you?
Oh, shit, man,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Are you recording right now?
-[Arvin] Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Vance] Come here. Come here,
Come here, this way.
Follow me, follow me,
follow me.
This light good?
-[Arvin] Uh, yeah, bro.
[exhales sharply]
Hey, Sarah Jo.
I read your letters.
They were so meaningful to me.
You really poured your heart
out and you showed me that
the way I do my thing
made you more free in yourself,
and that shit
is very beautiful to me.
I mean, I ain't gonna lie,
teared the fuck up.
Now, I know you're going
through a heartbreak right now,
but I just wanna say that shit
did not happen because
you didn't fuck right, okay?
People split up for all kinds
of fucking reasons,
and it's very rarely because
someone isn't a sex genius.
You know why?
Nobody is a sex genius.
Not even your boy Vance.
Look, good sex requires
chemistry between two people,
and two people who care.
I mean... somebody would
think I'm bad at sex
if it's the wrong situation,
and as you know,
uh, I'm considered
kind of an expert in the field.
So this is what
I want you to do, okay?
I want you to stop.
Stop striving to please
everyone else, right?
Start striving to please you.
You're with a guy
and the conversation's dead
and your pussy feels dead,
you shut it down.
You're with a guy and he's hot
but you feel like in a month
you're gonna have to take out
a restraining order, boom...
you shut that shit down.
You keep focusing on you
and try to find
your real true kinks,
the rest of it's
gonna work itself out.
Oh, and shit, yeah, you be
proud of your fuckin' scars.
Be proud of your fuckin' scars.
Be proud of your fuckin' scars.
I thank my stepfather every day
for this honker, you know why?
'Cause it set me apart,
it made me the big bucks.
I mean, look at this shit.
I'm in California, baby.
Difference is something
to celebrate and rock hard.
[kisses] Big love, girl.
Thank you so much, dude,
but her name's actually
Bernice, so do you...
[upbeat music playing]
You got me with my meatball!
-Food fight!
We have to resuscitate.
Are you alive?
Laila is such
a sweet little girl.
She's so happy
and she's so determined
and she never lets her pain
get in the way.
Like you.
When you were little
and you had all those surgeries.
You still went to school.
You still showed up
at Girl Scouts.
Swam every day.
She's a special little girl.
Like you.
[Treina] It's true.
Can you pass me my phone?
Wait, I'm going wide.
Oh, no!
[knocking on door]
-Bernie, what's up? What's up?
-[bottles rattle]
-Um, whew!
Can't believe you actually
wanna hang out.
Never thought I'd see the day.
tonight I'd put the spritzers
to rest and...
brought out the big boys.
You know,
since we're real homies,
I found this appropriate.
It was very nice
what you did for me, Arvin.
I mean, it's all
in a day's work.
It's all
in a day's freakin' work.
Though I do need
to find a place to stay
'cause somebody
at the Electra warehouse
got tested positive
for Covid-19...
Oh, no, no, it wasn't me.
It had nothing to do with me.
I don't even know the guy.
But, you know, it's not like
it would stop me anyways.
I... just keep going and...
-Oh, sorry.
[both] Jinx.
-You owe me a rim job.
-You owe me a soda pop.
I'm just gonna shut up
and enjoy this.
[Arvin sighs]
This feels really good.
-Just keep going.
[Josh] You okay?
Shh-shh, wait...
Okay, good, good.
[Shuga playing "Stay Wild"]
Butter melts in your mouth
You're the king
of the plain
In this lion's game
And when you come by
I always think of you
Yes, I do
Rough diamond
You're a stray cat
And where we gonna meet at?
Stay wild
And don't ever change
Stay wild
And don't be afraid
I'm pleading on my hands
And knees
I'm tryin' so hard
To please
Oh, I love your
Wild streak
That so many cannot keep
Rough diamond
You're a stray cat
And where we gonna
Meet at?
Stay wild
And don't ever change
Stay wild
And don't be afraid
Stay wild.
Stay wild...
Stay wild
And don't ever change
Stay wild
And don't be afraid
Stay wild
And don't ever change
Stay wild
And don't be afraid
No, don't be afraid
No, don't be afraid
Stay wild
-Stay wild
[Alex Cameron
playing "Best Life"]
There's nothin' like
the feelin'
Of when you do a thing
Or just wake up like this
Like, what even is life?
I guess I'm just winning
But I get no reaction
My comments just don't rank
Or my postings
I wish that she said yes
I wish I could say thanks
But I never feel
her presence
not for some people
I'm sick of followin'
these rules, baby
And wonderin' why
Yo, when they ask you
how you're doin', baby
Don't think twice
Just say, "I'm out here"
"Livin' my best life"
A follow for a follow
I'm buried in the feed
It makes my eyes bleed
I'm sorry, not sorry
It's too long, I can't read
You say I shouldn't worry
But you would never know
how it feels to worry
'Cause you never had
a presence
not for some people
I'm sick of followin'
these rules, baby
And wonderin' why
Yo, when they ask you
how you're doin', baby
Don't think twice
Just say, "I'm out here"
"Livin' my best life"
not for some people
I'm sick of followin'
these rules, baby
And wonderin' why
Yo, when they ask you
how you're doin', baby
Don't think twice
Just say, "I'm out here"
"Livin' my best life"