Shooting in Vain (2018) Movie Script

What's that?
Oh, it's, uh, it's nothing.
Doesn't look like nothing.
Uh, I'm just playing with
some images I downloaded.
So you can get
all up inside my body
but I can't get
inside your head?
Is that it?
No, it's just, I'm not trying
to hide anything from you.
It's just...
The whole thing changes when
I try to put it into words.
The inspiration just
becomes lifeless
the moment I struggle
to define it.
- Anyway, it's a stupid idea.
- No, hey, listen...
- It is.
- No, seriously, like...
I didn't mean to pry.
I'm sorry, okay?
You have your process.
And I totally get that.
And I respect it.
A coyote.
If he's alone,
he'll eat the rat.
But if he's got some help
and he's in his pack,
he'll eat the deer.
Now, if he's really desperate,
he'll even eat the carrion.
It's pretty cool, right?
I mean, he doesn't give a shit.
He just needs to feed.
It's fucking cool.
Mr. Gleason, can I talk
to you about my grade?
How can I help you, Mr. Young?
Well, I don't understand
why you gave me a C minus.
Well, I...
I think you may be
in over your head.
You see, every one
of your classmates
has been studying
photography with me
since freshman year.
Fuck that prick.
What he thinks he likes
will change
the moment someone innovative
transforms the conversation.
Shit. I mean, Maybe he's right.
Look at me, listen.
It doesn't matter, hey.
It doesn't matter
if he hates you.
It doesn't matter
if he loves you.
All that matters
is what inspires you.
You'll be okay.
Yeah, thank you.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Every moment
of my life is filtered
through an ever changing
collage of memories.
Happy memories and tragic ones.
My memories are at the core
of everything I think,
everything I feel.
Even the love and fear I feed
can point to memories
as their common ancestor.
Snapshots, life fragments forever
reinterpreted and relived.
The most intimate
relationships I have
are with my memories.
Some I love, some I loathe.
But there is no memory
that I seem capable
of living without.
You okay?
My career is dead.
I'm fucking dead.
Your adoring public awaits.
Oh, right.
I, uh, saw Winston Guest arrive.
Mm-mmm, come on.
He said I devolved
a once promising art-form.
It's not his job to sell
your work, it's mine.
Good, because if
that was the case,
he'd be doing a shit job.
It's just one opinion, one man.
Yeah, but it's the only one
that people actually read.
No, that's not actually true.
Besides, what he says
does not diminish
your powerful work in any way.
It doesn't, not in my eyes,
not in anyone with a desire to search
beyond conventional
prosaic bullshit.
I don't know why I do it.
And I don't know
who I do it for.
- Yeah.
- Hey, you're a genius.
Trust in here.
Everything will work out.
- Come on.
- You know, I never knew there were so many different forms
of the word amateur. You know, I think
he used it as a noun, and adjective
and even an adverb.
Take a breath.
Mr. Guest, hello.
Thank you so much for coming.
Ah, Miss Stewart.
I'm sure you remember
Mr. Maxfield Young.
Mr. Guest, it's good
to see you again, sir.
Ah, yes, young Mr. Young.
I'm certain that we all
doubt the sincerity
of that statement, huh?
You know, I appreciate your
constructive criticism.
I think it's helped me
grow as an artist.
Well, I had hoped so.
Well, I was very sincerely
moved by your early work,
and consequently the potential
of your entire career,
but these subsequent forays are
just one-dimensional,
altogether impersonal.
I respectfully
disagree, Mr. Guest.
I am extremely
confident when I say
that at this moment in time,
you are Mr. Young's
greatest asset.
I'll thank you for the champagne
and say goodnight.
- I'll walk you out.
- Oh.
Hey, you know I'd offer
you something to drink
but all I've got is tap water.
I wouldn't wash my dirty socks
in unfiltered tap water.
Yeah, I know, right?
Do you want to go to my place?
I've got wine... and water.
Yeah, I don't know what
the big deal is with my place.
Well, if you can get past
the chain-smoking cat lady.
Yeah, right.
Look, it's not that
big of a deal, okay?
Besides, Whole Foods, mm?
- Alright.
- It's right down there.
- There's that.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, you know what?
Oh, shit, I think I actually
left it downstairs.
Back in a second.
Are you working
on a new concept?
Uh... nothing, nothing.
Everyone's scared
to look truth in the face.
Look truth in the face.
Fuck you! Fucking all wasted!
So you're just going to
act like nothing's up?
I'm only gone a few days.
Max, come on.
You sure you don't
want me to come with?
Keep you company?
Road trip could be good for us.
No, I know, um, I just...
I think I need to be
alone right now.
You know, I'm hoping
the solitude will clear my head.
And maybe reboot
some creativity?
I don't just want a lover, Max.
I can get a lover anywhere.
I want a best friend.
I don't know that
I've ever been in love.
Someone once told me that
when you feel romantic love...
you're really just infatuated
with the way the other
person sees you.
The reflection
they cast is forgiving,
without judgment.
you train them to see you
the way you see yourself.
And the illusion
of love vanishes.
Another one of my dad's
pearls of wisdom.
Max Young.
That's a good name.
So how come I don't
know you, Max Young?
You're in my Biology class.
English Lit too.
So are you like super
creative or super creepy?
Well, look, I just
wanted to pay you back
for the two subs you
gave those Felch twins.
Who's at the door?
Let's see that.
Who's at the door?
Max Young.
Wow. Almost didn't
recognize you, Max.
Hey. I hope I'm not catching
you at a bad time, right?
No. No, man, seems like ages
since we've seen you.
- Yeah.
- When was the last time?
Jimmy, why don't you
take him upstairs?
I'll be right up, okay?
All right, yeah.
- It was good seeing you, Max.
- Yeah, Jimmy.
Hey, I'm sorry for not
staying in touch, you know?
Hey, it's hard to keep tabs
on the little people while
you're blowing up, right?
Jimmy, the baby.
Okay, I'll be right up.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
Take care, Max.
What, What are you doing
showing up here
unannounced after all this time?
Yeah, I, uh, you know,
I just thought that...
You thought?
You thought that
we were friends,
that we'd welcome
you with open arms
and make up the
guest room for you?
Oh, I...
You know, I didn't know
how you'd feel.
Yeah, you're goddamn right you
don't know how I feel right now.
Raine was my best friend.
My entire world.
I loved her.
You know,
you know I loved her too.
Shut the fuck up, okay?
Don't come to my house
and say that to me, please.
You were together, what,
six, eight months?
I knew everything about her,
she knew everything about me.
You were the fucking mystery man
and you are still
playing that card.
Get the fuck...
Dude, you got here so fast.
That's impressive shit.
- Keep it.
- Thanks.
No, thank you.
Where've you been?
I got to tell you...
you got the nicest ass
that I have ever seen.
Don't fucking touch me.
Come on, I got some blow.
It'll take a lot
more than that, Chuckie.
It'll be fun, baby.
A little blow for blow.
Do you think you can just talk
to me however the fuck you want
'cause I jerked you off
once in ninth grade?
I mean, if you could even
really call it that
as I remember you
were spewed and spent
before I even touched
your fucking belt buckle.
It's really embarrassing, Chuckie,
you should probably get that checked out.
You fucking cunt!
Are you okay?
I think my bike cable broke
and I lost control. My bad.
Whoah, whoah, dudes,
dudes, wait, wait. Uh, uh,
could I interest you in a couple
of ham and cheese
footlongs as my apology?
Cool, all right.
Who the fuck was that?
Fuck if I know, man.
- Hey.
- Oh, jeez.
Pretty dangerous
with that thing.
So why'd you run off?
I didn't run off, I just,
- I had to get back to work.
- Hmm.
Don't I know you?
I mean, I've seen you around.
Aren't you in my Biology class?
Yeah, English Lit too.
So are you like super
creative or super creepy?
What's your name?
- Max Young.
- Max Young.
That's a good name.
So how come I don't
know you, Max Young?
I just moved here
in the beginning of senior year.
Well, look, I just, um,
I just wanted to pay you back
for the two subs
you gave those Felch twins.
No, it's cool.
It was the end of the night
and they were takeouts
nobody picked up, so.
I thought you just said
you had to get back to work.
Are we done?
We're done.
I'm sorry. I'm weird.
- You think?
- Yeah, it's just I'm not real social, you know?
I don't relate to things
that most people
think about and vice versa.
You think you know me
but you don't.
Whoa, wait, Raine.
You know my name?
I never introduced myself.
Right, I, um.
I think I heard
somebody call you.
Do you want to hang out?
I feel as though
I've been turned inside out.
Everything exposed, unprotected,
vulnerable to a world that
brushes by with its filthy hands.
I try to wash
and disinfect but I can't.
Find everything all right?
Yeah, thanks.
Max Young?
Hey, Calvin.
How are you, man?
What are you doing here?
Well, I, uh...
I came to pay my respects.
It's 8.50.
She's got like the perfect body.
Oh, shit.
I'd let her fuck me to death.
I don't just want a lover, Max.
I want a best friend.
You're the
coolest fucking person I've ever met.
You live here?
I live right across the way.
Yeah, I know.
What do you mean you know?
I've seen you walk by.
Uh, do you want to come in?
Wait, I thought
the Walters lived here.
They do.
We're house sitting.
My mom and Mrs. Walters
were roommates in college.
I wonder how long it took them
to collect all these books.
The books are the only
possessions in the room
that are mine.
Well, some of them.
These Yale Shakespeare
Editions must be like
200 years old.
More like 100.
So how did you possibly
amass all of these volumes?
Uh, Some of them
I got from my mom
but most of them I bought
from like Amazon and eBay.
You got all these books online?
You know, you'd be surprised.
I mean,
most people treat
their old books like garbage.
But, no. I feel
a kinship with my books.
I think it's a critical
component in a person's life.
The books you've read
and the one's you haven't.
So how many of these
books have you read?
I mean, I read them
when I first get them.
So all of them?
some of them I'd already read
so I usually
don't read them again.
Yeah, you, uh, wouldn't want
to appear obsessive.
So are you a Maxwell
or a Maximilian?
Is that a family name?
Have you read this?
Oh, man, had it
read to me is more like it.
God, I haven't seen
that in forever.
I miss being a kid.
When the fantasy
worlds were real.
Yeah, same.
It's the first edition, 1897.
- Holy shit.
- Yeah.
You know this was the first book
that Maxfield
Parish illustrated?
He also did the original
cover for Arabian Nights.
He used photographs
as the basis for his work.
And then he would
alternate between
oils and glaze
to get a 3D effect.
Amazing artist, right?
He's like way ahead of his time.
So you were named
after Maxfield Parish?
I was inspired by his
work when I was a kid.
Maxfield Young?
- You're a junior?
- Hm.
Technically, once
the senior is deceased
the junior suffix is removed.
I thought you just
said you were named
after Maxfield Parish.
No, I said I was inspired
by him when I was a kid.
Okay, I see how you work.
How'd your dad die?
Heroin overdose.
So is, like, your mom going
to come busting in up on us?
She's gone.
She's pretty good about
respecting my privacy.
That's refreshing.
My parents pretend
to be all evolved and shit,
while secretly
monitoring my every move
like the fucking NSA.
Which is why my mom thinks I'm
having a little sleepover tonight
at my brother's.
- Good morning.
- Hey.
How did you sleep?
Mmm. As good as ever.
Hey, do you want to go
with me to a party?
I'm not really
a party kind of guy.
- Are you saying you're inflexible and don't change?
- No, I'm not.
You only possess certain characteristics
and you're only going to possess those
- and only those characteristics?
- No, I'm not.
'Cause I got to say,
like, if that's the case,
that's a fucking
deal-breaker for me, man.
I can't be with some guy
who has some bullshit
preconceived notion of himself.
We're not set in stone.
We're 60 percent water,
we're human beings.
We're designed to be fluid!
It's a Saturday night
for fuck's sake!
Whoah, whoah, okay.
I mean, I, think, I...
I think I could go to a party.
You think you could go?
Okay, well,
want to know what I think?
I think
that you
- gave in so quick.
- Oh.
- You are such a little pussy.
- That's a good one.
You know that? Like 2.5 seconds.
It's a world record.
- Is it really?
- Yeah. It's pretty humiliating,
- I'm embarrassed.
- Is it? Okay.
- No, don't tickle.
- I'm embarrassed for you.
- I'll get you back.
- Oh, will you?
I'm a tickle master.
Come here, come here.
Okay, why don't you put
your money where your mouth is!
Come here!
Even when I sleep,
my mind refuses to quiet.
Constant rambling thoughts
with no apparent origin,
no destination.
When I was a little kid,
sleep was my best friend.
We're not so close anymore.
Did I not make myself
clear last night?
I don't have anything
to say to you.
Yeah, you did, um.
Can we talk, Lucy, please?
It will just take a minute.
What is it that
can't wait till after
we brush our teeth?
I know it's been a while
since I've been back.
You know,
I lost touch and, um...
you know, things changed.
Things changed, yeah.
Is that what you
came by to tell me
at the fucking break of dawn,
that things changed?
Were you and Raine close
right up until she died?
Why the fuck
would you ask me that?
Nah, it's just...
I was hoping that, uh...
like, you could help me
fill in some blanks.
Let me fill in
this blank for you.
If I see you back here, I'm
going to call the cops, okay?
So go away, Max.
Okay, let's go buddy.
- Come dance with me.
- Hmm. Mmm-mm.
- Come on.
- No, no, no, no.
- Today is the day.
- I can't.
You don't really
have a choice, so.
- I've got no rhythm.
- You have rhythm, honey.
It's just dormant.
Come on, come play with me.
- Dormant?
- Yeah, you know, undeveloped.
stop thinking for like one second, okay?
Just move.
Move the way that you feel
when you watch me.
- Okay.
- Okay?
You feel too much.
I love that you don't have
any tattoos or piercings.
You know all my friends think
it's this... unique form
of self-expression.
Indigenous people
have been doing it
for thousands of
years, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, first of all,
you don't live in a fucking
indigenous culture
so what the fuck does that
have to do with anything?
And unique?
I don't know
one person, one person
in our senior class.
Who hasn't altered their
flesh in some way, you know?
I mean, even my grandmother
has a Tweety Bird
tattooed on her ass.
It's like if you
want to be unique...
try being yourself.
You know, I never thought
about getting a tattoo.
I know.
I'll do it with you.
Are you serious?
I need you to promise me.
Do you promise?
Promise me, Max.
Jesus. You okay?
I promise.
I just don't get small talk.
What do you mean
you don't get it?
It's small talk,
what's not to get?
Everything is small.
The amount of words,
the level of investment,
the world from which you pull
your subject matter, small.
Yeah, I know what it means.
I'm just incapable of it, okay?
I can't start it
and I can't finish it.
Or you are a brilliant
brimming with insights.
Come on.
Okay now, you're the coolest
fucking person I've ever met.
Now mingle.
I love you, Max.
Thank you.
- What's up, Chuck?
- Hey, man.
- Thanks.
- Don't thank me, Thank my mama's back surgery.
Hey, Chuck. Look who showed up.
What's that
fucking faggot doing here?
You know what?
I'm going to fuck him up,
then I'm going
to fuck that bitch.
Ooh, Hi!
It's so good to see you.
You look hot.
Thank you very much.
Is that for me?
Yes, drink this.
Mmm. God, you look gorgeous.
Thank you.
This is Max.
These are my friends,
Jan, and Jane
and I think you know Lucy.
- Oh. Oh-ho!
- Yes, yes.
- No!
- Come on. Just a second, come on.
This is...
What, who is playing this?
This has got... we have to
change this right now,
- Now?
- Yes.
- Come on, now.
- I'll be right back.
- Raine, come on!
- Coming, I'm coming.
So are you going to, like,
like suck my soul?
Just then
we downed monstrous curls
behind this tar barrel.
You remember that?
Okay, so out of all the things
- that they could have chosen...
- Yeah, well...
and Tweedle-fucking-dum?
That's really sad,
is what it is.
- It is a tragedy.
- It kind of upsets me,
like I want to cry
a little bit in my soul.
- Well, you have to tell them.
- Me?
- You know that, right?
- Oh, right, I'm going to tell them.
- You have to.
- No fucking way.
It's your responsibility.
Like, really?
No, no way!
Nobody, nobody ever wants
to hear the truth.
- No.
- No, not about themselves.
- Not about that.
- Not about the world.
Nope. So like, what do you get
inside the truth?
Like, okay, tragedy.
- Mm-hmm.
- Heartbreak.
- And it's fucking random.
- Mmm.
So the only way
to live with it all
is to simply not give a fuck.
I was Batman for Halloween
three years ago.
Basically, I guess what
I'm trying to say is the...
entire fucking world
is scared to death!
Swinging in the dark!
You know, and all
I see are cowards.
Coward, coward, coward, coward,
it's fucking cowards everywhere.
Hm. You're remarkably
cheery tonight.
- And why?
- Come on.
How long are you planning
on dating Mr. Subdued?
- That's clever.
- Did you like that?
- Yeah, I see what you did there.
- Yeah, I thought the bookworm in you
would appreciate that
little double entendre.
Yeah, well,
it's really more of a pun.
- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.
Oh, well, who fucking really
cares, really right? I mean...
The point is, what are you,
what are you doing
with this guy, Raine?
Are you serious?
You haven't said
two words to him.
Give him a chance,
he'll grow on you, I promise.
I don't see it.
I just don't see it, I'm sorry.
Okay, well,
you don't have to see it.
You just have to try.
Just pretend for
one night, for me, okay?
Oh, okay.
I guarantee he'll think I am,
like, crazy about
him tonight, so.
- Why is that?
- Why?
Oh, I don't know.
Um, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah,
'cause we'll be rollin'!
Come on, do drugs with me.
Please, do drugs with me.
Come on, it's been forever!
I told you I don't do
that stuff anymore.
- Oh, oh, please.
- Oh, okay.
What, like, Mr. Straight
Lace doesn't approve
of the Raine that
we all know and love,
- like the actual Raine?
- Very funny.
Yeah, his name is Max,
I told you that.
Uh, okay.
Yeah, that's cool.
Go play house
with Max, that's cool.
Go make a soup.
I... seriously?
What was that?
Yeah, no, that's it. Just die
before you even live.
- Hey.
- Right? That's the motto
- of the great masses!
- Shh, shh,
- You're getting out of...
- Right?!
- No, you're done.
- Am I right?
You're getting out of control.
Just read about it in a book.
- Okay, she can do that.
- Great.
Yeah, stop, all right?
Yeah, stop.
Just calm, breathe.
So, how'd you hook up
with Raine Bennett?
I have no idea.
Dude, I've been dreaming
about that hot ass
since, like, seventh grade.
She's got the perfect body, man.
I'd... Oh, I'd hit that so hard.
I mean, I'd let her
fuck me to death.
You ready to go?
See you, Calvin.
- Oh, my god, who says that?
- I know.
You seem like you were
having a really nice time.
You know what?
I think you were right.
I do have a surprising number
of small thoughts in my head.
So it's the cocky little cunt
and her delivery bitch.
I love this book.
You know, I think it's got
to be my favorite novel
of all time.
Dude, you read like
10 books a week.
How can you remember
all the books you've read?
I have no idea.
What's so great about it?
Okay, Mr. Specific,
maybe just, like,
Well, he likes to get
into taboo shit.
You know, sex with
children, dead bodies.
Ew, that sounds horrible.
No, I'm not explaining
it very well.
You just, you have to read it.
Yeah, well,
after that little Cliff note,
I don't think
that's very likely.
It's more about
human nature and perception.
The thin line between
reality and illusion.
And you're not really
sure what's real.
The narrator and the author
are both heroin addicts.
I really want to meet your mom.
Yeah, most definitely.
And what about us?
It's all I think about.
The truth is elusive, evasive,
polymorphic, a matter
of perspective.
Context, leave out a single
word, a specific detail,
change the emphasis,
the truth mutates, it adapts.
The truth is
the ultimate survivor.
And it's a ghost.
It can manipulate your heart,
distort your mind.
My truth, your truth,
God's truth.
No precaution is taken.
All the people
in this room are heroin users.
Heroin is the strongest,
most devastating
opiate that exists.
Its possession is
absolutely prohibited
in the United States.
A hype will bring
this narcotic to a...
You scared the shit out of me.
Nobody answered
when I rang the bell.
What you watching, Maxie?
I guess that's
a stupid question.
I've sort of become obsessed
with learning about heroin use
and the whole
underground culture
that surrounds it.
I think I'm going
to try it, just once,
so I know what it's like.
You know, I think I need
to know what it's like.
Wait a minute, are you serious?
- Yeah.
- That's fucking insane. What?
What more do you need to know?
I mean, it fucks up your world,
it changes who you are
on a core level.
I can do it just the one time.
- Whoah.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- No, I mean, look.
It's not
that big of a deal, okay?
I mean, I know...
Besides, I think it would
help me kill off some demons.
More like give birth
to some new ones.
Raine, I'm disciplined, okay?
You know that, okay?
- Max.
- I can do this.
Discipline has absolutely
nothing to do with it, okay?
This is heroin.
What would your mom think?
Oh... come on.
What happened to not
caring what people think?
Max, baby, your mind
is all twisted on this, okay?
If you think that
I'm going to stand back
and watch you trash your life,
or like condone it or whatever,
you're fucking nuts!
Hey, trash... come on.
Look, hear me out, okay?
What if when we die,
we discover, hey,
we discover that
the goal in life
was to simply have
as many different
experiences as possible?
I mean, maybe my dad was right.
Think about it.
Human beings instinctively
seek out alternate realities.
It's in our DNA.
There's no judgment.
No one's defined reality.
It's all an illusion, Raine.
I'm not playing
this fucking game, okay?
Intravenous drug use is
a fucking deal breaker for me.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
Well, you know,
I think I read somewhere
that ultimatums
are bad for relationships.
I'm serious, Max,
you shoot heroin, we're done.
So, what?
Are you just going to
use our relationship
as a bargaining chip,
is that it?
No, I'm not.
I'm using the truth.
I got to get to work.
Throw your bike
in the jeep, I'll drive you.
Disease of one type
may be directly transmitted
into the bloodstream of another.
Hey, Raine.
Can you pass me my cell?
Thank you.
Don't be giving away
any free subs.
Oh, shit.
I'm Raine.
I finally get
to meet you, Raine!
I'm Carol.
- Wow.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
You know, I don't think Max is home though.
He's already off at work.
Yeah, I know, um, I actually
just left my backpack upstairs.
Oh. You want to come get it?
Yeah, if that's okay.
- Cool, come on in.
- Thanks.
It's nice to get
you alone, you know?
I've been wondering
how he's doing
'cause I feel like
I've been missing in action.
Oh, um, he's good, you know.
- You think?
- We're just hanging out, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I worry about him, I just worry about him
'cause new situations
are hard and his new school...
Is he making any friends?
Uh, some, you know.
He just is a recluse.
He kind of stays in his room.
- Yeah, definitely.
- He doesn't reach out.
- Keeps to himself.
- And I try and leave him room with that
because of all he's been
through with his mom.
And I can't imagine
finding my mother
so soon after losing my dad.
It makes me so angry,
these pharmaceutical drugs.
But you know,
he's an amazing young man.
He's just through
it all, so strong.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah. Well, I don't know
if he told you about us,
but I wanted him
to come live with me.
His mom was my roommate
and I loved her so much.
We were college
roommates and I told her
if anything ever happened,
you know, I would be there.
But now I'm glad
you're there, really.
So good to meet you.
- I'm just going to...
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I'll do it with you.
Are you serious?
Just this one time, okay?
Once. And then
we never do it again.
Max... I need you to promise me.
Promise me, Max.
Hey, come here.
I promise.
Okay, promise.
Not that big of a deal.
Will you do that?
It's fucking cool.
Just this one time, okay?
And then we never do it again.
Hey. Are you sure this is cool?
Yeah, Lucy's parents
are still in San Diego.
Right, but, I mean,
do you think Lucy
will be cool with this?
I think out of all people
Lucy would be cool with it.
Whoah, what?!
- Lucy.
- Shit, hello?
- Hey.
- Raine?!
- Yeah, it's me.
- Okay, hold this.
Hang on.
- What up?
- Hi.
Hey. What's up, Raine?
- Hey, Max.
- Sorry to interrupt you guys.
Just wondering if
you had anywhere private
- we could hang in.
- Ah, shit.
Bad girl, back on the hit.
Don't make a big deal about it.
Choose one of
the, like, 17 rooms, dude.
- Cool.
- Knock yourself out, crazy kids.
I'll wash my hands.
Where'd you get all that stuff?
I've been collecting
it for a while.
You know,
a piece here and there.
Well, you seem organized.
I like that.
Anything worth doing...
is worth doing right.
I'd appreciate if you
didn't quote my grandma
as I'm about to shoot
narcotics into my vein.
Okay, I'll do this.
So... tie this here.
- How's that?
- Tight.
They say it's supposed
to be trippy the first time.
I bet.
Will you do it?
You know,
you know, I've never
done this before either.
Yeah. I know, I just,
you know, you've
watched a lot of videos
of people doing it.
You've done your research,
and I think I'd feel
better if you did it.
Yeah, okay.
You ready?
Oh, Raine.
Babe, hop up, come on.
Come here, hey.
Raine, Raine, wake up.
Raine, come on, come on.
Raine, wake up.
What more do you need to know?
I mean it, fucks up your world.
It changes who you are
on a core level.
You just have to try.
Do drugs with me!
Do drugs with me.
- Do it.
- Drop it.
- Come on, it'll be fun.
- I told you
I don't do that stuff anymore.
I loved her.
Just pretend for one
night for me, okay?
We should stop.
Why don't you just go play house
with Max and Raine?
I loved her too.
Make soup, why don't
you go do that?
Don't you fucking
say that to me.
- Okay.
- Babe.
Oh, that's cool, just like
why don't you just die
before you even live!
I always thought
that I blamed you
but I blamed myself.
I wanted to give you this.
Raine's mom gave it
to me a long time ago
when we were going
through some of her stuff.
I was going to throw it away
but I... I never did.
So, when you came
by the other day,
I couldn't sleep, and I was
looking for something to read
and there it was.
You know, I...
I used to think
my dad was a superhero.
He had this indestructible
vibe about him.
And this, um, this one time,
he told me, "If you want
to escape from prison",
first you have to admit
that you're in prison."
You know, freedom was
kind of his big thing.
Physical freedom,
economic freedom...
freedom from social taboos.
So, he...
Imprisoned himself
in his own cynicism.
He said, uh...
that we are all
dishonest with ourselves
so we can never be
honest with each other.
Do you think that's true?
Are you asking me
if I lie to myself?
Yeah, I do.
It's the only way I know.
Do you want a cup of coffee?
I'm going to make some, so.
Yeah, that'd be great.
- Okay.
- Thanks.
Kali, hi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Hey, do you want to
fly out to meet me?
Yeah, I mean, you know,
maybe we could
drive back together.
There's some things I got
to tell you about my past.
So cold.
Come here.
Come here.
I'm going to take a shower.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
You want to come?
- With me?
- Yeah.
Hey, you know what?
You go ahead, I'm just going to
check something really quick.
Hey, you coming?
Baby, your mind
is all twisted on this, okay?
If you think that
I'm going to stand back
and watch you trash your life,
or like condone it or whatever,
you're fucking nuts!
Hey, trash... come on.
Look, hear me out, okay?
What if when we die,
we discover, hey,
we discover that the goal
in life was to simply have
as many different
experiences as possible?