Showgirls 2: Penny's from Heaven (2011) Movie Script
I wrote this new cover.
It's called Dance of the Little Teddy.
But you have to point it out.
Okay, you ready?
Now it looks like this.
Some people don't want to be tamed.
Some people just want to be free.
So I walked down the road to the library.
And the police said, come.
What is that?
I'm late for work.
Yeah, yeah, you can take the girl out of the strip club,...
...but you can't take the strip club out of the girl.
I'm a dancer.
Not a stripper.
No, you got to have some formal training for that.
Right?
Ballet technique.
I'm just saying.
And you know what?
I promised your mom I would take our little one to
soccer practice so you don't have to cook for me tonight.
Oh, so I don't have to slave away in the kitchen?
That's what you belong.
In the kitchen.
Bad boy and pregnant.
You look sexy that way.
I look sexy when I'm dancing.
And you know what I'm going to do when I get back?
I'm going to attack those T-shirts, and I'm going to write life sucks on all of them.
You know what?
People are going to eat this shit up.
I'm telling you.
I hope your T-shirt business can start making
some money, and then I don't have to go strip.
Al said if you keep snooping around the joint, he's going to fire me.
Never, dude.
Al can suck my dick.
That's my job.
Sucking dick or dancing?
Dancing, Jimmy.
Dancing.
Oh, and you know what else?
You have to go pick up my purple for me, all right?
Because I want you to go pick it up.
And listen, I'm not talking about the color purple either.
Can't your dealer deliver?
The car got a boot on it.
And I don't mean thigh highs.
I forgot to tell you last night.
And then they towed it.
It was too many tickets.
Great.
Now you got a warrant out.
Well, I hope your thumb is as stiff as those dicks at
your job because you're going to be hitchhiking now.
- And I'm not paying for a taxi.
- Shut up.
I'm a dancer, not a whore.
Oh, yeah, bitch.
Well, how many times I got to tell you?
You got to take dance classes.
Alvin Ailey, Joffrey, Juilliard.
It's ballet technique.
You got to have that if you want to be a dancer.
And you don't have money for that.
Why can't you teach me?
Because I gave that world up a long time ago.
See ya.
Two?
Yeah.
It's about two showgirls.
Scratch the surface.
You find the bitch.
It's like, uh, Siegfried Follies meets Stardance.
And we're filming on the studio pictures back lot in Hollywood.
So you're a real movie producer?
That'd be perfect to play that part.
I'll audition for you now.
Well, how much is it going to cost me to see these lap-dancing talents?
Oh.
This one's on the house.
Free.
You're worth it, Mr. Movie Producer.
I'm no dummy.
This could be my lucky break.
I can touch you, but you can't touch me.
Bitch.
You stole my customer.
You stole my G-string.
Hey, hey, hey.
Get back to grinding all those beds.
Yeah. Now, let's kiss and make up.
Shall we?
A smile.
A smile.
It's time for the Star Dancer with Mr. Zack Perry and the Golden Nugget Dancers where the showgirls sizzle and the star burns hotter than the sun.
Get me out of here!
This is looking real good under that sweater.
Hey, you need change, whore?
Hey, can you spare a cigarette for an old showgirl?
Cigarette, cigarette.
Cigarette.
So where are you going?
Hollywood.
Well, I can get you as far as Barstow.
All right.
Hollywood, huh?
Wow.
You gonna bet the farm on it?
Good luck.
My name's Jeffrey.
You can call me Jeff.
So, uh, you gonna be an actress or something?
I'm gonna be a star.
A star?
Fucker?
I mean, what else is there to do in Hollywood except to fuck stars, right?
It's better to be a star fucker than a not-a-star fucker, right?
You a stripper?
I'm a dancer.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You crazy?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, look, look, look.
I give you a ride in my uncle's million-dollar Porsche and you pull a gun on me?
What is this?
I mean, I'm not some piece of cattle you can just prod around.
I'm gonna pull over.
You can get out, all right?
You can get out, you crazy bitch.
- Come on, get out.
- Okay. I'm sorry.
It shoots blakes.
But next time, I'll blow the wad on your ass.
Got it?
Got it.
Wow.
Whew.
Kind of a bitch, huh?
The good girl does laundry.
It's the bad girl who becomes a star.
If you're gonna be rich, you've got to be a bitch, is that all right?
Worse than a bitch.
They're all whores.
I feel like some grandma told me that.
Well, I got a blackjack game I've got to get to in Pearl City.
I'll make you bet.
We play a game of strip poker.
You win, I give you a ride.
You lose, you're stuck in Pearl Blossom.
Are you serious?
You got a man?
Let me guess, he's a star, right?
No, he's not famous.
Because I could...
I could give a crap about all that.
I'm not really into stars.
I mean, I wouldn't touch Lizzie Lohan with a ten-foot pole.
Or Britney Spears, or the Kardashian sisters, or Cher.
I guess I'm just not a star fucker.
What are all these diamonds for?
They're so pretty.
Uh, sometimes little old ladies forget their diamonds.
I'm just bringing them to the Boston fan.
Oh, you're so sweet.
Well,
I met this Hollywood producer and I have an audition to be a movie star.
Really?
But what I really want to do is be on that dance show, Star Dancer.
Star Dancer?
Oh yeah, my uncle's got something to do with that show.
It's up with the Seven Sisters.
Creepy place.
One time I went up there and, uh...
got in a lot of trouble.
Look, I... I gotta pull over.
Or I can get some gas.
This stuff's got diamonds in it.
It's the best stuff I could find in Vegas.
I'll try some.
It's strip poker time.
I'm gonna kick your ass.
On my suitcase.
Are you serious?
I can't believe it.
Don't you trust me?
I forgot my wallet.
I'd love to see it.
I don't believe it.
Not a second.
My dad's shoes!
Hey!
He took my dad's shoes!
Cool your heels, Frankie boy.
If you would have paid me my fair share for that gig,
I wouldn't have to be whoring myself out for pennies.
I paid you what you deserve, Tramp.
I'm the captain, and you're Elvis.
That was in the contract.
50-50 split right down the middle.
Oh, I got you middle right here.
Karen, can we cut this short?
Where's Sammy?
Sammy!
We're gonna catch traffic on the way to Hollywood, then we're all screwed.
Oh, I know, I know.
Sammy!
Where is Sammy?
Sammy?
Oh, isn't that called lollygagging?
Part of my act, the dumb blonde?
As the saying goes, the one who's able to fool the world
for being dumb is the one we should all watch out for.
I know that saying.
You know what?
Just forget about it.
I'm not going.
We're gonna stay in Vegas.
- We'll do the show at the Pink Flamingo tonight.
- Fuck it.
Frankie, I'm bi.
I split my shows up between Vegas and Hollywood.
Hollywood is such a bitch with claws.
I can't tear myself away.
Oh, that's... I met this Hollywood producer.
And...
- Tryin' to be famous, huh?
- Yeah.
Aren't we all?
Aren't we all?
Look, if I knew I entered Dead Persistence, I'd be into you.
Literally.
Well, can I come?
Sorry, no room.
Hey, where you going?
I'm going home.
Hey, come with us.
Man, that bitch must be on the rag.
Yeah, she's still pissed at me.
Thinks I ripped her off.
Watch your ass, dude.
Hey, can I borrow your cell phone?
A cougar can't change her strips.
I mean...
Stripes.
- Or tiger.
- Tiger.
All I ever wanted was to do a really good dance number with you, Jimmy.
Really good?
We could've been famous!
We could've been happy together!
Goodbye, Jimmy...
Goodbye...
Goodbye forever.
Forever.
I got talent.
I'll show him.
I gotta pee.
I'm done.
I'm done with him.
I'm done with men using me.
D-U-N.
Done.
You dumb bitch.
Too bad you had a look.
Where are you, you bitch?
Where are you?
Frickin' A.
Hey, what happened?
You alright?
What happened?
You blow out a tire?
Have a nice life.
I need a disguise.
Live at the Palms Casino Hotel in Las Vegas.
Breaking news.
There have been three people found brutally murdered
in the desert near the California Nevada border.
They appear to be celebrity impersonators.
There was even a Marilyn identified by the signature beauty mark.
Her dress was missing.
A cougar cat changed her strip.
I mean, stripes.
I got talent.
I got a gold at the end of that stupid-ass rainbow.
It's fool's gold that's faking the tits on these Vegas hoes.
You know, that's just your addiction to being self-destructive acting up again.
But you know what?
If the shoe fits, put the mother on.
Hey, it's not bad.
I got another t-shirt.
I ain't gonna save you.
I'm just gonna have to crash by her and learn the hard way.
Get drunk.
Yeah.
Damn.
Woo!
Oh, my God.
Yeah!
Get drunk.
Get drunk.
Another round.
Oh, for the house.
On me.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Damn.
Yeah!
Beer bong?
I'm Goddard.
Where are you from?
Outer space.
No, really.
That's for me to know and you to find.
Oh, my God.
I'm a great dancer,...
...and you suck.
Forgive me.
It's kind of difficult to dance with a heart of mine.
What's your name?
I can't remember.
Um... Olga.
Helga.
Helga.
Helga.
It's good to meet you, Helga.
I would like to take you to a nice dinner.
Some place magical.
So, Helga.
Helga?
That's your name, isn't it?
Uh-huh.
What brings you to this part of Seven Sisters?
Dance.
But I'll be leaving to go to different places.
Gotta learn ballet first.
Learn ballet?
I think you might be too old.
How old are you?
Thirty?
Thirty-two?
Thirty-five?
Thirty-two sounds good.
I never got my formal technique training.
I gotta take classes from Alvin Ailey or Juilliard or Joffrey.
I've got the money to do it.
I hate to burst your bubble.
Have you won any international competitions?
I won Miss Budweiser.
Miss Budweiser is international.
You got a wet titty contest.
I studied music at Juilliard.
No shit?
Look, it's tough out there.
Major conservatories aren't gonna give a shit about tits and ass.
Or pouring beer on your tits.
Ballet is respectful.
Maybe I'll end up in the Nutcracker dancing
the part of one of the nuts or pastry things.
I just wanna...
I wanna strut my stuff.
Diamonds draped around my boobs, feathers around my face like a Ziegfeld girl.
But instead, I've been slumming around a dirty pool
that all the strippers like to lick for some reason.
I licked it.
How bad?
I'm a showgirl.
And I was born to be the star of the show.
There can only be one star dancer.
What do you do?
Play in a band?
Almost my profession.
Now, just a hobby.
The instrument makes beautiful.
Beautiful noise, but no money.
Oh, I just needed that lucky break.
We have a lot in common.
Cause I need that lucky break too.
I'm making a deal to open my own musical cabaret in the north end of Seven Sisters.
A high class joint.
Big stars.
Big time shit.
I'm gonna call it Goddard's Goddess Club.
Be my star dancer.
Okay.
Okay?
So how old are you?
But I like older women.
Women are like bananas.
Bit of sweetest when they're ripe.
Right before they shrivel.
But you... You are a banana split.
With a cherry on top.
And nuts.
I'm freaked out.
- Let's go back.
- We can't.
They locked us in.
Trust me.
When you get to the end, you're going to be so happy.
Keep going.
It's the end of the rainbow, Helga.
This is Madame Blavatsky's mystic masonic brooch symbol.
Oh, yeah.
From the opera.
I've never been, but I knew a madam at the Bunny Ranch.
What?
No, not Madame Butterfly, Madame Blavatsky.
She wrote The Secret Doctrine, Occult Philosophy.
Said to be influenced by the Voltaire.
I've never heard of her.
Or Vulture?
She believed in magic and enlightenment.
She had many followers of philosophy.
Madame Blavatsky pointed out the pagan symbol of the letter G symbolizing God.
Then, the lunatic took the symbol upon himself and called it the swastika.
Whom he stole it from, he later turned around and banned their society.
And persecuted them, along with every other society and religion.
So, the society continued underground, practicing
the craft of secret to avoid the Nazi regime.
You know Helga, the Freemasons?
Well, she's not gonna be here, is she?
Helga, she died in the 1800s.
Caesar, your majesty.
A gem, Sir Brent.
Maybe your finest yet.
Nice ass.
He means pain.
He can't have hair out of place.
I know.
I like your tits.
Your table is right this way.
I love hearing Caesar sing.
Would you like to go to a party with me on Saturday?
Very fancy.
I would love to.
I guess you would, too.
A gala at the castle.
Oh, yes.
Besides I like trashy girls.
Welcome to the Rainbow Room, where the dreams you dare to dream really do come true.
Beyond Sin City, we are inside the Erotic City.
A city inside the womb of goddess.
Where the showgirls sizzle and the star burns hotter than the sun.
Live from Seven Sisters Studios, your beautiful Seven Sisters, Star Dancers!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, what you've all been desiring, a feast for your senses.
The Star Dancers!
That's my part.
Anyone with half a brain will be able to tell shit from Shinola.
I look classy?
Classy.
I'll take it.
How much?
$29,999.99.
It's on sale today.
Oh, I love a bargain.
It doesn't.
I'll ring you up over here.
It's
my golden parachute when I need it.
Son of a bitch.
Just cause a prick had a B.A.
A bad attitude?
No, dummy. B.A.
Get you laid while you're riding a high horse.
You're fighting me for pussy.
Well, that's a nice coat.
What is it, like 100 degrees outside?
It's classy, huh?
It's Shinola.
Whoa, what's that?
Who gave you the hickey?
I'm moving on up.
I don't want anything from here.
Bunch of junk.
I see.
I thought I'd give you money to stay in or something.
You just can't afford it.
But you'll come crawling back.
And he'll dump you, like they always do.
And you'll end up selling it.
Like you whores always have.
Now, what'd you call me?
Stripper. I'm not a stripper.
You know, you can always tell a stripper.
By her purse and the soles of her shoes.
Stripper.
I know I got an F in economics, but this doesn't add up very well.
Helga, I would like you to meet Katya.
Hi.
I speak English, darling.
I just rather not converse with white trash.
Madame Sarah.
So good to see you again.
My ladyship, I would like you to meet Madame Ekaterina Vindalova.
Lovely to meet you, Madame Vindalova.
I'm a tremendous fan.
Oh, please, call me Katya, my lady.
Congratulations to you both.
I just received my invitation in the mail today, as a matter of fact.
Oh, I've been honored to have you at our wedding.
I promise it will be spectacular.
Well, I look very forward to seeing more of you.
Goddard has been a great service to the lodge, and we all just adore him.
Oh, I'm sure they don't adore him nearly as much as I adore him.
Well, it took a beauty like yourself to snag the heart of Goddard.
Or Lord Goddard, I should say.
She had my heart from the moment I laid eyes on her.
It was her heart that I needed to melt.
Oh, he's being humble.
I fell head over heels for him, literally.
Did I tell you how we met?
She was the prima ballerina in Swan Lake.
And I was waiting outside for her with the roses.
She tripped over my foot and nearly fell down a flight of stairs.
I fell right into his arms before I landed.
No harm done.
Good thing you didn't fall down the stairs.
Ah, this is Helga.
Helga was at the Rainbow Room, and they were all very impressed with her.
Do a little spin, Helga.
Well, I'm very impressed with your brags-to-riches story, Katya.
From orphan to... Mrs. Goddard Brant.
As they say at Seven Sisters.
He will make me an honest woman.
Yes.
Madame, the Prime Minister is here, and he is a big fan of yours.
He actually saw your first performance in Moscow at the Bolshoi a few years back.
Could you please say hello to him?
He would be so delighted.
Oh!
Of course.
I promise to return her in just one moment.
Um, why didn't you tell me that you are engaged?
Helga, calm down.
No!
I want to go home!
You're a big, fat liar!
You led me on.
Ah!
Helga, I would like you to meet Count Vladimir von der Hollenburg.
This is Helga.
Miss Helga.
Call me Vladimir.
Beautiful.
You are the most beautiful woman at this party.
Have you seen the garden?
No.
Do you?
Do you like caviar?
Yes.
And...
Sailboats?
Yes.
But I get seasick.
Me too.
Have you seen the garden?
I thought you said to come today.
Oh!
No, go ahead.
No rest for the wicked.
How are you today, Miss Helga?
Oh, I'm in love.
I would give it all up just to be Mrs. Count Vladimir von...
Musch... Bit... Der...
Or whatever his name is.
That is wonderful.
Oh, he's splendid.
He's perfect.
Oh!
Maria, have you seen my diamond anywhere?
Which diamond?
The big one.
This one.
Oh!
I never imagined a man could make me feel this happy.
I mean, with my ex, it just left me feeling hopeless.
I think I was in it for the wrong reasons.
I want to be the one that he made a famous dancer.
So I trapped him.
Trapped him?
Yeah, with the oldest trick in the book.
I know that one.
You got pregnant.
But he outsmarted me and he trapped me with his dangling carrot.
It was all just a means to an end.
But I never got to the end of the rainbow.
That is not good, Miss Helga.
No.
It's a hot mess.
But with Vladimir, he's my soulmate.
He's like that big pot of gold I've always dreamed of.
Miss Helga?
Could you please pay me today?
My school tuition will be due.
And you haven't paid me for last week.
This right here?
This is my rainy day savings.
My nest day.
So if I go broke to the pawn shop she goes, and I promise I'll settle with you,
then my life of luxury will be over.
Well, perhaps, come Vladimir will marry you.
And then you'll live happily ever after.
In seven sisters.
Vladimir?
Oh, it's you.
The two-timer.
What's this?
I have more for you.
Please open the door.
Just let me explain.
I have
six days that I haven't heard from him.
He loved me.
Loved you?
How do you know this?
Because he told me so.
Your percentage.
Percentage of what?
From the gal.
The man you spent the weekend with.
From him.
What do you mean, Vladimir?
You were hired as an escort by him.
I introduced you to him, so therefore you get your percentage and I get mine.
I am not a prostitute.
Get out!
You are a whore, darling.
It's not a bad thing.
I'm not a whore.
It's the Madonna Whore Complex.
And you, my dear, are the whore.
I'm like a burger drive-thru.
And instead of a burger, it's a whore with fries and a soda that they order.
I've managed to make an honest living in a G-string.
How could you do this to me?
Here's two thousand dollars.
You have a talent for this.
Don't throw it away, Olga.
Good. Okay, okay.
We're going to cut, print.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
A one step...
All right, could you guys please do a once from the top?
Sorry?
Once from the top, please.
A feast for your senses!
The Star Dancer!
All right, cut, everybody, cut.
You believe me now, bitch?
Not now, bastard, not now.
Medic!
We will need to take x-rays, but it looks like she fractured her hip bone.
It may take a year to heal, then rehab before Mrs. Van Brassen can dance the show.
I guess it even happens to the best of them.
Fire my fucking bitch understudy.
What good is she anyway?
Darling, we don't even know that she did it on purpose.
She knows all the signature moves.
She can do them at a moment's notice, and she's got that star quality.
Don't cross me.
I saw her do the shimmy extra hard.
I saw it out of the corner of my eye.
If we fire her and are left without a Star Dancer, we risk
losing our advertisers and our sponsors in the blink of an eye.
Okay?
I need a panic attack.
Show's canceled.
That's it, sweetheart.
I'm sure she didn't mean to do anything.
No, no, no.
No.
Fire that bimbo.
Damn it.
I want to be the star.
Star Dancer.
It's still my show.
And the showgirl must go on.
Yes.
My darling, you are the greatest Star Dancer of them all.
This entire show will go into the toilet without you center stage.
I know.
But there must be someone who can do the show justice.
Why over my hip fracture heels?
Just dump it.
I want to be the understudy.
Then one down, one to go.
Ashton, if I told you this once, I've literally told it to you 64 times.
This is a female-driven show, okay?
Listen, the wig helps.
But you still got a package bulging out that you can see from space.
And we have to have real tits and no dicks.
You're a fucking bitch.
You can make me the understudy if you wanted to.
I can do a lot of things to you if I wanted to.
Oh, my God. What the fuck are you doing with him?
Nothing. He was coming on to me.
No, I wasn't.
Sebastian, you're cheating on me, you whore.
I did what I had to do.
You know I love you, Dominique.
You guys are both whores.
Okay.
So the rhinestones have been secured to every one of the cops.
It was not a loose bead or an ounce of French
that'll be hitting the floor ever again.
Very well.
And secure the sequins while you're at it.
Now I got a phobia of all things that glitter.
How am I too dense?
I still think that little whore slut did it on purpose.
Or that himbo bitch did it.
Okay, I came to my studio parking space the other
day, and my tire on my smart car was popping.
And I think he's trying to get revenge on me.
We kind of had a falling out and he's a little bit sore.
That's enough.
That's enough of these conspiracy theories about the sluts and the himbos, okay?
Let's focus.
We need to find another star dancer for tomorrow night.
We could have Andrea Champagne as your understa...
...or, uh... or, uh, Latoya?
Lady Gaga?
Oh, Conchita Rivera?
We need someone with class and style.
Who has formal technique training.
But...
with some dark secret.
So we can blackmail her with.
So when I'm ready for my comeback, she can be fired out of her contract.
Nice.
I have an idea.
- I have.
- Okay, okay.
Somebody get me a phone.
Bring a phone in!
We're going to call Madam Sarah.
Okay?
We're not members of the Most Powerful Lodge.
For nothing.
We will call in a favor, we will take advantage,
and they will send us the perfect girl for the job.
Sigh.
No way!
It's her!
That bitch got my part.
My own show at Tiki World.
That might be cool.
My own show.
Could emcee at Tiki World.
That'd be nice.
How much will you give me for this diamond necklace?
Hmm.
Well, it's a flawed diamond.
Maybe fifty, a hundred.
It would be worth more if it came with a happy ending.
Thanks.
Just wondering,...
...do I know you?
Bunu kiloduna sokmak isterdim.
Call me.
- Yes?
- It's me.
I was just thinking of you.
I think it's only fair that you owe me.
I want you to get me in to see Stardancer.
Front row, backstage.
I saw your bride on the other stage.
I'll see what I can do.
Helga, listen.
There's someone I need you to meet.
He's a big politician.
Very wealthy.
He saw you at the gala and he was enthralled.
What do you mean?
A customer?
No thanks.
I made a deal with God.
And lap dancing is as far as I go.
What I have in mind for you is big business.
Okay.
I'll sweeten the deal.
I will get you to see Stardancer if you promise to meet him.
Front row, backstage.
Deal?
Well, what does he look like?
He's nice looking.
Um, older.
Distinguished.
Okay, if you promise to give me a golden ticket, then...
...deal.
Deal.
Honey, I'm home.
Who was that, sweetie?
Uh, no one.
Just an investor who wants to do business with me.
How did it go last night with the politician?
I do what I have to do to get backstage.
Stardancer, right?
High security at the studio.
Bring your ID.
I lost my ID.
No ID. No Stardancer.
Tell them my real name is Maria Strauss.
Helga is just my stage name.
I am officially your understudy.
We need to meet tomorrow so I can learn the steps.
Okay, Bertha.
See you at 10 a.m.
Well, and can Sebastian come to you once he learns the steps as well?
Just in case.
Fine.
ID.
Maria Strauss.
Yeah, okay.
Go to stage five in the back.
Security guy's got your name on the door.
Where the showground sizzles and the star burns hotter than the sun.
And now ladies and... I missed one.
Go ahead and do it one more time, please.
Hotter than the sun.
Live from Seven Sisters Studios, your beautiful Seven Sisters.
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
It's time for the Stardancer with Mr. Stardancer and his whole dog in the dance.
Okay, cut that. We're going to print that one.
I like that one.
Okay, we're moving on. We're moving on, everybody.
Thank you.
It was awful.
They didn't even warn me of the body check at the audition, though.
Ugh, body checks are torture.
Body checks give them boners.
Body checks are worse than pap smears.
Would you guys please stop talking about vagina in front of me?
Disgusting.
You know I have a problem with pussy.
Let's talk penis.
I see yours is hard.
You wish you had one, jealous.
Whatever.
These bitches all have penis envy.
Shut the fuck up, Sebastian.
You know you want yours made into a vajayjay.
You just can't afford it.
We had an appointment in Mexico, but his meal ticket ran off with a woman.
She wasn't a woman.
She was a he-she of balls to the walls.
Hi, Katya.
You were amazing.
Do you remember me?
I'm... Helga.
Who forgot to take the trash out?
Guards!
I want to apologize to you for being such a bitch.
I understand.
I love Goddard.
More than anything.
I'm jealous of you because of Goddard.
There, I said it.
It's my fault for getting the wrong impression.
He's only a friend.
Like...
a brother.
A brother?
An agent?
Manager?
He thinks you can be a big star.
Goddard searches for girls that have special magic that he can exploit.
He wants to marry me because I don't have it.
Katya, you are the star dancer.
Of course you have it.
I'm not special.
Not like you.
You have that red hot magic heat.
Only that can live in his world.
You heat it up?
I watched you dance.
And... I want what you have.
I want that undescribable thing that makes people want to fuck you.
I know it's... whorish.
Whorily?
Maybe you know a word that better describes it, but...
...you understand, yes?
I guess so.
I'll never be lonely.
Never abandoned.
Always craved.
Goddard said you wanted to be a dancer.
Yes, I am a dancer.
Well, I was on my way to Juilliard or... Alvin Ailey or... to take ballet classes, but...
Well, maybe we can dance sometime together.
You don't have to go all the way there for ballet class.
I can teach you right here.
In Seven Sisters.
I would love that, Katya.
Where do you dance?
Right here.
Perfect.
Let's start with the basics.
First position.
And your arms are in port de bras.
Now, let me see you do a triple pirouette.
Chass, chass, pas de bourre.
Prepare.
Basics.
Look, look, look.
You're not even spotting.
Where you're focused, your body will follow.
Again.
I have these daydreams of myself dancing.
I imagine myself dancing so gracefully.
Well, dreams are good.
If you can see it in your dreams, you must move it out through your body.
Then they become reality.
Watch.
What you see and hear.
Your memory.
It becomes a dance.
You must feel it.
Feel it in here.
A love.
A passion.
And in here.
A primal creative instinct.
Dance, Olga.
Dance.
You're dancing or you're camel toe.
I was the best one in my whole child's one class.
I can't concentrate with all these problems in my life.
I can't dance.
I learned a valuable technique when I was a child.
The best advice I ever got.
When life gets too hard and your problems
get in the way piss on them and dance, Olga.
Dance.
Dance through the floor, Olga.
Dance through the floor.
Dance through the floor.
Dance Childhood.
Dance through the floor.
You
know, there's an art to a good wiener.
See, in Vegas everyone's a vegetarian.
No meat.
Just brown rice and vegetables and tofu dogs.
I'm digging your wiener.
Hey, do you want to have children?
Honestly, no.
I'm the worst mother in the world.
I want to have children.
Lots of them.
So does Goddard.
Well, I have a daughter.
Really?
Was he rich?
No, I picked a poor one.
My mother has custody of her because she gave
up her dreams of being a star to be a mother.
The state took her away from me.
But it's okay, because I can't take care of a kid.
I can't even take care of myself.
Well, I'm sorry that you lost custody of your daughter.
What about the father?
My ex-boyfriend or ex-fiance, whatever he's called...
...he's a special case out for.
He's a small-time drug dealer,...
...and he makes these T-shirts with these dumb sayings on them.
But he got his formal technique training at Alvin Ailey.
But he just couldn't make things happen in the real world.
Unmarried with a bastard child?
Hey.
Cheers.
Men and life.
Bittersweet.
We take the sweet with the bullshit.
I put my heart and soul into thinking of this dance idea,
and I went to him to ask him to choreograph it for me.
And you know what he said?
What?
He said that he wants this other dancer, this other chick, to have the lead part in my dance show.
He says I dance like a Junkermobile.
He said I dance like a truck.
And then it got worse.
Then he rewrites my show.
And he wants me to do this Martha Graham, avant-garde-style dance.
And he puts a gag in my mouth and has me have no makeup on and puts me in a coffin.
And then I'm stuck in the coffin for the rest of the show.
What a prick!
Yeah, I almost snapped on him.
And stabbed him in the heart, just like he did to me.
Well, my life as a prima ballerina hasn't been easy.
But I wish I had your life.
Well, it's not been as glamorous as you think.
I've paid my dues.
And you know what, darling?
It ain't pretty.
It was ballet that saved my life.
I spent my childhood in hospitals.
But they provided this ballet program for us.
To heal us.
They kept shoving pills down my throat and trying all these barbaric techniques.
But it was ballet that was my cure.
Dancing keeps me sane in this insane world.
But it's a tough business.
I came from poverty in communist Russia.
I had to claw my way all the way to the top.
And as soon as you would get hot, they'd put out your fire.
Like a cigarette put on asphalt.
And the only thing you could do was just try not to let them burn you out.
Just fight with fire.
They could fry an egg on my asphalt.
That's what it takes.
A burning desire.
An obsession.
Katya, can we do this again?
You really inspire me.
Goddess power.
Goddess power.
I love chinchilla.
I like it better than mink.
In my opinion.
What'd you call it?
Chinchilla.
May I have it?
Sure.
Looks good on you.
And your basic primal instinct.
Remember, now don't be afraid of your pussy.
Primal creative instinct.
Yes.
Don't be afraid of using your pussy.
Come on. It's right there.
Pli into it.
Breathe from it.
Pulling up through the body.
Yes. That's right.
Sombre.
Pas de bourre.
L'essence d'ensemble.
Now, let's try some piquees.
Turn. Turn.
Spot. Turn.
Spot.
Spot.
Good.
Excellent.
Step into arabesque.
And hold it.
Step again into arabesque.
And hold it.
Into arabesque.
Passe.
Let's go to side.
Penche.
Come back up into an attitude...
...and follow your hands.
You see how grand that is?
You're doing so much better.
Jump out of a red suit to the new.
Suit to the new, suit to the new.
In.
Up.
Good.
And back, suit to the new.
Go, point your toe.
Back, here.
There.
That's better.
Bravo!
Thank you for teaching me ballet.
Here's bubbles.
Here's bubbles.
Tonight, I want you to teach me to be the whore.
You're more than a whore.
You're a goddess.
And I'll teach you anything you want.
Here's bubbles.
Here's bubbles.
Please,
once more time with that routine.
Spread apart a little bit.
Any
more dancers here?
Bravo!
What's wrong?
Didn't my fianc tell you it's all about Helga?
No, I haven't talked to her.
Seems he's more interested in your career than in me.
Well, Katya, what do you want me to do?
I'd like to be alone.
Security, there's a fan harassing me.
Take this trash slut out.
She is stinking up my dressing room.
I was once the source of passion in his life.
Then he sees me on a pedestal.
The mother.
His mother.
So I begin to mother him.
Crave the security from him.
But he still craves passion.
No longer the fountain he drinks from.
He looks elsewhere to drink from the whore's fountain.
The whore cries a river of tears when he leaves
her alone and comes home to mommy dearest.
You used to call me your love sponge.
Now I know I'm losing you.
Now all you call me is a good cook.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ugh!
This is a big client for us, okay?
I will talk with Katya.
She is certifiably cuckoo, you know that right?
Weak.
You should thank her for being so tough on you.
I wish I...
Take the world by your teeth and rip them to shreds.
That's the only way you're going to get what you want out of life.
Sigh.
Oooh.
Oh, right here.
Right here.
Happy anniversary!
Oh, honey!
You approve?
Can we dig right in?
Why stand on ceremony?
Celery?
What?
Why would anyone want to stand on celery?
Ceremony.
It means that we're not being formal.
But please don't stand on the celery either.
I'll just go change the music.
Amor, let's put Helga in the show for me.
My own girl.
She can dance.
She can be my project.
Yes.
I will oblige.
Show?
Let's not talk business tonight.
Just take care of the business at hand.
Pleasure.
Who
it is, my darling?
It's our favorite studio exec.
Well, the studio is going under.
Since the lovely Mrs. Von Brausen injured herself, it's been nothing but a headache.
But I'm not here to discuss business.
Then undress.
We can meet in the conference room to talk business.
Pleasure...
is the name of the game tonight.
If it's pillow talk you want...
I'm all ears.
Cheers.
Thank you for inviting me to your anniversary party.
I'm sorry.
Oh, that's great!
My prayers are answered.
I'm going to be a star.
What kind of part is it?
Oh, well, it's like a horror film.
Like a suspense thriller type.
Okay.
Here.
Watch this.
Are you serious?
A porno?
It's for private use only.
We have contracts that cover all of this.
What's that?
That's my maid.
Is he killing her?
No!
No, no.
That's fake blood.
What do you think?
What was the director thinking?
Gotta go.
This announcing maid is pissing me off.
Oh, would I play the part of the girl getting stabbed?
They will shoot you in the head.
With a gun.
Blow your brains out. Straight out.
After the love scene.
You and another girl end up dead.
It's your grand finale.
All fake, though.
It'll bring in a pretty penny.
Elga...
- He's talking about a snuff film.
- Snuff?
I know what that is.
Cowboys sniff it like a chew.
No, it's not chewing tobacco.
It's very evil.
They find people like runaways or homeless people that they can easily dispose.
And they trick them into thinking that they're just shooting a porno.
And then they kill them on film.
Do you think he was serious?
This word.
Blot.
It is a pagan worship of Rudin.
It is rooted and sacrificed to a deity.
I saw it written on a disc.
I study cases like this in my detective class that I'm taking.
Miss Elga, don't do it.
My paycheck can wait.
This is supposed to be a gated community, can't they let us?
I'm so sorry, Elga.
It's just that my relationship is becoming very hard on me.
He's stewing down at me.
I'm dying of thirst.
Katia, you can trust me.
It's you that's the problem.
Gara ignores what's happening in my life.
Too busy to taste cake for our wedding.
I'm all alone.
Picking out ribbons and play settings.
All I hear 24-7.
Elga this, Elga that.
I'm so dehydrated.
And now he's frantically looking for a new one?
We're all disposable.
He has them auditioning, imitating your charms, trying to cast a new Elga?
Is he losing his mind?
There's only one Elga.
The grand finale.
My grand finale.
The death scene.
He is serious.
I must get out of Goddard's web.
You're okay with body checks, right, Elga?
My, I just said he had a baby bump.
She left today.
Sherman, you gotta understand.
No, it's all about the ratings.
If you don't have the ratings, you don't get the sponsorship.
No sponsorship means no ads.
No ads means no audience.
No audience means no sales.
Right.
Yeah, well, no sales, that doesn't compute.
Okay.
Bye.
Mr. Van Brelsen.
I'd like to introduce you to one of my friends.
She's an amazing dancer.
This is Helga.
Hello.
Could you do me a favor, Mr. Van Brelsen?
Please let Helga audition for the show.
Of course, darling.
I trained her myself.
She knows all my signature moves.
I hope so.
Of course.
Bring her to the audition.
We love Helga.
We all love Helga.
Okay.
We only need one of you.
We are looking for technique, but even more, sex sells.
I don't care how old you are and I don't care how young you are.
As long as you rope it.
Red hot, magic heat.
We have perverts to please of all ages.
Okay.
A five, six, seven, eight.
Number 23.
Step forward, please.
Yes, you.
Number six.
Thank you and goodbye.
Come back and see us when you get your tits fixed.
Everyone else. Please hex the building.
Don't call us. We'll call you.
Well.
You're the last one left standing.
What's the matter?
Don't you like to smile when you dance?
That grin on your twat's not gonna cut it.
We'd like to see some teeth on these lips.
Thank you.
Yes.
We need to keep them lubed so that your lips slide.
Try this.
Try this.
Just like a beauty.
Perfect.
You have such a beautiful smile.
You need to keep it lubed up.
Okay?
We wouldn't want Cottonmouth to get the best of you on a special day like today.
All right.
Okay.
Let's dance.
One and a two.
And a three and a four.
And kick that leg up to Jesus.
And then some one and a two.
And PK, PK, PK.
She has the sex appeal.
...but our dancing,...
...our extensions,...
...we will have to hit the slide.
Well, it's important to keep this one close.
I can whip her in the shade.
Piss on him and just dance.
Body checks.
Body checks!
Body checks.
Okay.
We need to check your body.
We need to see how you look on film.
Okay?
So, we need you to strip down.
Strip down and dance.
Look, we've got a European version for God's sake.
I need to see your tits and ass.
Video ads, five pounds.
At least.
And we gotta see how you photograph naked.
Look, don't let me down here, Miss Budweiser.
What'd you call me?
Miss Budweiser.
It's on your resume.
Tell me something.
How'd you get the part?
Did you win it by wearing a... a wife beater soaked in beer?
Or was it a bikini?
Or were you topless?
Topless?
Okay.
Well...
You want to get the part, right?
Complete the audition, then.
You gotta get the studio execs and the network approval.
Now, I own the show.
You're the dancer, right?
Yes, I am a dancer.
Right.
So, just strip down, let me see your tits, and put them on film.
Okay. Let's dance.
Now. Dance.
Yes.
Do your pique turns.
Smile!
can't find your paperwork anywhere.
Accounting needs an ASAP.
Okay?
Do you like my nails?
You pour the champagne, my darling.
I'm on cloud nine.
Our angel dance was like a slice of heaven.
Imagine me in Star Dancer.
I finally made it.
And next, I will rise to being THE Star Dancer.
Like you, my love.
I used to look up to you.
Now, I look at you.
Well, I wouldn't go that far, Helga.
I'm just so happy.
I'm so happy too, Helga.
I told you, where you focus, your body will follow.
I'm so happy you're here with me.
You are mine.
Here's bubbles.
Here's bubbles.
Katya, my paperwork, it's not in order.
It's complicated.
Are you in some sort of trouble?
Or a checkered past?
Don't worry.
I'll pull some strings for you.
They did for me.
Stop showing up unannounced.
You leave a message at the front gate.
That's how it works.
You interrupt my creative primal...
My creativity.
You know what that is?
Money.
The highest paid whore I've ever booked.
That's your percentage.
Thanks.
They like me.
They were nice.
Explain.
Explain?
Well, there was this celery problem and Mrs. Von Bronson was singing opera.
This show.
I saw you on the show.
Why wasn't I told of this?
Were we good?
I own you.
You are mine.
I want my percentage.
But I saw this show on TV from my stripper room.
It was my dream.
I was the one that got you the job as that dancer.
No.
Katya got me an audition.
No.
No.
You fucked the producer of that show.
And his wife.
And a studio exec and a foursome.
I was the one that did all of that.
I'm the one that set up your dream.
Do you think all of this wasn't planned?
To be seen by them.
Doing what you do best.
But I auditioned for the part.
When you fucked them.
That was your audition.
Why didn't you tell me about this?
Because you are dumb.
You.
I'm the one pulling the strings.
And you are the puppet held up.
I'm trying to move us all ahead.
And you just keep messing things up.
But I'm living my dream.
How is this messing things up?
What's your dream?
Owning whores?
You are nothing.
Nothing but a dumb beer bong slut.
I molded you into what you are today.
And now you're living the dream.
Go figure.
I want what's mine.
And you are mine.
Angel with dirty face.
You make me sick.
No.
No.
Have you ever considered becoming a male stripper?
You Vegas whore.
I'm gonna make you my star.
Bitch.
Hey.
Wait here.
Where you going baby?
They don't bring this stuff out to you.
What?
What are you up to?
Come back here.
I heard she fucked her way to the spot.
I heard her pussy is golden.
That fucking darling of mine makes diamonds.
It's a lie.
She fakes it.
Her pussy makes rhinestones.
The fake plastic kind.
Katya, they must have moved my locker.
Can I dress with you?
I have an idea.
I have a copy on how to get my work papers.
I quit with Goddard.
Why didn't you tell me you fucked my producers?
I thought you knew.
I own you.
You are mine.
How could you go and do this to me, you stupid whore?
You betrayed me.
He set it up as a job.
It turned out to be the producers.
You got me the audition.
They liked me.
You sucked.
I helped you and now you embarrass me with a slap in the face?
It's just dumb luck, whore.
I found her.
Katya. Katya.
Let's go.
You must go and find Goddess.
She is the sacred black Madonna.
She'll put you on the right path.
I'm lost.
It's
time to face the music.
The real music.
What have we got here?
Pink lip gloss.
What's this?
Daryl Smith.
The Hollywood producer.
Well.
Little misfit writing whore.
I may not know where you are...
...but rest assured,...
...the big bad wolf is coming for you.
I'm giving you my notice to vacate.
Here is my key.
Thank you.
Oh, some lady, hysterical lady came and gave me this note to give to you.
I'm not sure who she was, but I thought I recognized her.
I think she was somebody from that terrible dance show...
Stardance or something like that.
Thanks for coming.
I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.
I'm so old.
It's your happy unbirthday.
You're not old.
Don't even say that.
I'll ruin my mascara.
You're not old.
I'm old.
I'm thirty-something.
You're not old.
That's thirty-five.
Thirty-eight.
Thirty-nine.
Mae West didn't even come to Hollywood until she was thirty.
Twenty-nine.
And they say forty is the new twenty-eight.
I'm not even considered a girl anymore.
I'm just some kind of a jungle animal.
- Which one?
- A cougar, Helga.
Let's run away together.
I have some connections in San Francisco.
We can escape this place. Easy.
I can headline in this cabaret.
It's fabulous.
And you can be my understudy.
I mean, I do need that off.
Oh no, it's just, it's all a mess.
It's just, it's past the point of no return.
They've called the asylum to take me away.
Oh, Helga, it's only you and me.
We don't need them.
Hey.
Oh yeah, I mailed it back to him.
It was his grandmother's.
Ugh, he's such a liar.
He probably got it at a pawn shop.
Who knows?
Helga, I want to hear everything.
I want to hear your story.
Brothers, sisters.
Twin sister.
She died in an accident.
A bubble bath accident.
The radio fell into her tub.
I tried to revive her, but...
This is my sister's remains.
Her ashes.
The carbon turns into a diamond.
It was an option at the morgue.
It was burial, cremation, or ashes into a diamond.
It's very expensive.
My ex, he encouraged me to get the diamond because we were getting engaged.
Luckily, Mom took out a life insurance policy on her.
What?
Right before her accident.
I feel...
Like my... My sister is my guardian angel.
A phoenix rising from the ashes.
Isn't it strange that...
When our souls leave our bodies...
And all that's left here is the same stuff a diamond is made out of.
Diamonds in the rough.
Precious jewels aren't made of stone.
But of flesh.
How was tonight?
Not so good.
Forty-three bucks.
We're competing against trounties.
I'm sorry, Helga.
I thought I had more pull than that.
Maybe we should head to Paris.
Forty-three bucks to my name.
My percentage?
Are you all right?
Fine.
I twisted my ankle on a rhinestone.
Slipped.
But I'll be all right, darling.
I wish I could have been your understudy.
Yeah, right.
I know how bitchy you understudies can be.
And besides, they want a real dancer.
Skilled and trained.
You
just aren't good enough.
But you are.
A great stripper.
I can't believe it.
I'll tell you later.
How symbolic.
Even the Virgin Mary.
The Madonna.
She has a price on her.
The Madonna and the whore.
We both are valuable.
We must get what we are worth.
Or they don't get us.
I need the money.
I'm sorry we are closed.
My necklace... I see.
Well, I always let people in who's better than gifts, you know.
Come on.
And I'm very sorry.
You come better than gifts, Sheila.
Shut up!
This is my world!
Tiki world!
Okay?
Are you ready for big star show?
Big star for the show!
She come...
...She used to be on local TV station show star dancer!
She a beast!
Okay.
So you're not getting it.
Well, maybe you're not that hip.
I'm surprised she didn't tell you.
I've been her understudy for years.
In case Aunt Princess gets injured...
I should audition you for the understudy.
I'll audition for you right now.
Shit happens.
Great show!
I love ya!
Ha ha!
How do you know she's there?
It's show time.
Whoo!
She's got stars in her eyes.
She's a needle in a haystack.
She's got diamonds on her debts and shoes.
And don't forget those double D's to make your mouth water.
Please ladies and gentlemen.
I want to be loved by you.
Catalina Bantaloa!
Lova!
You look good out there.
Thank you.
I finally learned some ballet.
Got a little formal technique training.
I can tell.
Penny.
Come home, babe.
I love you.
I love you too.
But I don't belong in the kitchen.
I belong up there.
I'm the star dancer.
I like it here.
But I wrote a new number for you too.
We can put it up somewhere.
I don't know.
We'll sell some tickets.
Save some money.
Get a bigger apartment.
We've been down that road, Jimmy.
Really.
It leads to a dead end.
Do good on your own.
Yeah.
I guess a tiger can't change its stripes, right?
Right.
I got a gig.
To assist a dance teacher who used to teach for Alvin Ailey in New York.
If you ever get to Broadway, call me.
Wow.
That's great, Jimmy.
What about your T-shirts?
What, these?
They suck.
They don't suck.
There's a price to pay for success.
Dues to be paid.
Sacrifices to be paid.
To be made on every imaginable level.
It all comes down to how bad you want it.
What the hell?
See?
You just play dumb.
No.
A possum plays dead.
Not dumb.
I have a warrant for your arrest.
You can't do this.
Oh yeah?
Where are you taking her?
Back to Vegas.
Have you seen the commercials?
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Even for criminals and their crimes.
Come on, honey.
You have the right to remain silent.
Honey, I'll meet you in Vegas.
Send her a postcard.
I'll get the bail money.
I won't let you down, Penny Slott.
Maybe we can do Caesars.
Okay, ladies.
If you cooperate, we'll make this quick.
We'll let you get back to work.
Make sure I've got everyone I need.
Cupcake.
What are you looking at?
Sugar.
I'll try to make an honest living.
Tammy. I didn't do anything.
- Jenny.
- Shut up, you two dollar hooker.
I see you on the street every night.
Gloria.
I have six kids to feed.
You're wasting my time.
Simmons, bring them in.
There they are.
I need to see their asses.
Excuse me?
Have them turn around so I can see their asses.
I've got to feel it.
All right, ladies.
Let's see your asses.
Come on. Turn around. Count it clockwise.
I don't want to hear anything.
Just do it.
Oi.
Glove don't work. You don't fit.
You must acquit.
That ass fit my hand like a glove, sir.
This is her.
And that would be Penny Slott.
I solved your case for you.
For my thesis.
Here.
The thesis is in the box.
Don't worry.
It's private.
Codename stripper number one.
I've got something for you.
Where did you find that?
At the pawn shop.
Um. It's good around my neck.
Hey, ain't you the slut in the shit sheets?
The famous whore?
Hey, say, want a shot?
Here's my ass.
Sure.
Dumbster Debbie gets a load of this.
You got change?
See ya, Penny.
Pick it up.
Honey, here.
For good luck.
Honey, Vegas was a blast.
You were a big hit.
Thank you, Magnolia Silver.
I love you.
I love you too, honey.
Bye.
Bye, darling.
Honey, next time we get the penthouse.
Okay?
- Broadway.
- Bingo.
I can get you to Kansas City.
You look familiar.
Are you famous?
You.
Can I have your autograph?
See, darling?
You are a star fucker.
It's called Dance of the Little Teddy.
But you have to point it out.
Okay, you ready?
Now it looks like this.
Some people don't want to be tamed.
Some people just want to be free.
So I walked down the road to the library.
And the police said, come.
What is that?
I'm late for work.
Yeah, yeah, you can take the girl out of the strip club,...
...but you can't take the strip club out of the girl.
I'm a dancer.
Not a stripper.
No, you got to have some formal training for that.
Right?
Ballet technique.
I'm just saying.
And you know what?
I promised your mom I would take our little one to
soccer practice so you don't have to cook for me tonight.
Oh, so I don't have to slave away in the kitchen?
That's what you belong.
In the kitchen.
Bad boy and pregnant.
You look sexy that way.
I look sexy when I'm dancing.
And you know what I'm going to do when I get back?
I'm going to attack those T-shirts, and I'm going to write life sucks on all of them.
You know what?
People are going to eat this shit up.
I'm telling you.
I hope your T-shirt business can start making
some money, and then I don't have to go strip.
Al said if you keep snooping around the joint, he's going to fire me.
Never, dude.
Al can suck my dick.
That's my job.
Sucking dick or dancing?
Dancing, Jimmy.
Dancing.
Oh, and you know what else?
You have to go pick up my purple for me, all right?
Because I want you to go pick it up.
And listen, I'm not talking about the color purple either.
Can't your dealer deliver?
The car got a boot on it.
And I don't mean thigh highs.
I forgot to tell you last night.
And then they towed it.
It was too many tickets.
Great.
Now you got a warrant out.
Well, I hope your thumb is as stiff as those dicks at
your job because you're going to be hitchhiking now.
- And I'm not paying for a taxi.
- Shut up.
I'm a dancer, not a whore.
Oh, yeah, bitch.
Well, how many times I got to tell you?
You got to take dance classes.
Alvin Ailey, Joffrey, Juilliard.
It's ballet technique.
You got to have that if you want to be a dancer.
And you don't have money for that.
Why can't you teach me?
Because I gave that world up a long time ago.
See ya.
Two?
Yeah.
It's about two showgirls.
Scratch the surface.
You find the bitch.
It's like, uh, Siegfried Follies meets Stardance.
And we're filming on the studio pictures back lot in Hollywood.
So you're a real movie producer?
That'd be perfect to play that part.
I'll audition for you now.
Well, how much is it going to cost me to see these lap-dancing talents?
Oh.
This one's on the house.
Free.
You're worth it, Mr. Movie Producer.
I'm no dummy.
This could be my lucky break.
I can touch you, but you can't touch me.
Bitch.
You stole my customer.
You stole my G-string.
Hey, hey, hey.
Get back to grinding all those beds.
Yeah. Now, let's kiss and make up.
Shall we?
A smile.
A smile.
It's time for the Star Dancer with Mr. Zack Perry and the Golden Nugget Dancers where the showgirls sizzle and the star burns hotter than the sun.
Get me out of here!
This is looking real good under that sweater.
Hey, you need change, whore?
Hey, can you spare a cigarette for an old showgirl?
Cigarette, cigarette.
Cigarette.
So where are you going?
Hollywood.
Well, I can get you as far as Barstow.
All right.
Hollywood, huh?
Wow.
You gonna bet the farm on it?
Good luck.
My name's Jeffrey.
You can call me Jeff.
So, uh, you gonna be an actress or something?
I'm gonna be a star.
A star?
Fucker?
I mean, what else is there to do in Hollywood except to fuck stars, right?
It's better to be a star fucker than a not-a-star fucker, right?
You a stripper?
I'm a dancer.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You crazy?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, look, look, look.
I give you a ride in my uncle's million-dollar Porsche and you pull a gun on me?
What is this?
I mean, I'm not some piece of cattle you can just prod around.
I'm gonna pull over.
You can get out, all right?
You can get out, you crazy bitch.
- Come on, get out.
- Okay. I'm sorry.
It shoots blakes.
But next time, I'll blow the wad on your ass.
Got it?
Got it.
Wow.
Whew.
Kind of a bitch, huh?
The good girl does laundry.
It's the bad girl who becomes a star.
If you're gonna be rich, you've got to be a bitch, is that all right?
Worse than a bitch.
They're all whores.
I feel like some grandma told me that.
Well, I got a blackjack game I've got to get to in Pearl City.
I'll make you bet.
We play a game of strip poker.
You win, I give you a ride.
You lose, you're stuck in Pearl Blossom.
Are you serious?
You got a man?
Let me guess, he's a star, right?
No, he's not famous.
Because I could...
I could give a crap about all that.
I'm not really into stars.
I mean, I wouldn't touch Lizzie Lohan with a ten-foot pole.
Or Britney Spears, or the Kardashian sisters, or Cher.
I guess I'm just not a star fucker.
What are all these diamonds for?
They're so pretty.
Uh, sometimes little old ladies forget their diamonds.
I'm just bringing them to the Boston fan.
Oh, you're so sweet.
Well,
I met this Hollywood producer and I have an audition to be a movie star.
Really?
But what I really want to do is be on that dance show, Star Dancer.
Star Dancer?
Oh yeah, my uncle's got something to do with that show.
It's up with the Seven Sisters.
Creepy place.
One time I went up there and, uh...
got in a lot of trouble.
Look, I... I gotta pull over.
Or I can get some gas.
This stuff's got diamonds in it.
It's the best stuff I could find in Vegas.
I'll try some.
It's strip poker time.
I'm gonna kick your ass.
On my suitcase.
Are you serious?
I can't believe it.
Don't you trust me?
I forgot my wallet.
I'd love to see it.
I don't believe it.
Not a second.
My dad's shoes!
Hey!
He took my dad's shoes!
Cool your heels, Frankie boy.
If you would have paid me my fair share for that gig,
I wouldn't have to be whoring myself out for pennies.
I paid you what you deserve, Tramp.
I'm the captain, and you're Elvis.
That was in the contract.
50-50 split right down the middle.
Oh, I got you middle right here.
Karen, can we cut this short?
Where's Sammy?
Sammy!
We're gonna catch traffic on the way to Hollywood, then we're all screwed.
Oh, I know, I know.
Sammy!
Where is Sammy?
Sammy?
Oh, isn't that called lollygagging?
Part of my act, the dumb blonde?
As the saying goes, the one who's able to fool the world
for being dumb is the one we should all watch out for.
I know that saying.
You know what?
Just forget about it.
I'm not going.
We're gonna stay in Vegas.
- We'll do the show at the Pink Flamingo tonight.
- Fuck it.
Frankie, I'm bi.
I split my shows up between Vegas and Hollywood.
Hollywood is such a bitch with claws.
I can't tear myself away.
Oh, that's... I met this Hollywood producer.
And...
- Tryin' to be famous, huh?
- Yeah.
Aren't we all?
Aren't we all?
Look, if I knew I entered Dead Persistence, I'd be into you.
Literally.
Well, can I come?
Sorry, no room.
Hey, where you going?
I'm going home.
Hey, come with us.
Man, that bitch must be on the rag.
Yeah, she's still pissed at me.
Thinks I ripped her off.
Watch your ass, dude.
Hey, can I borrow your cell phone?
A cougar can't change her strips.
I mean...
Stripes.
- Or tiger.
- Tiger.
All I ever wanted was to do a really good dance number with you, Jimmy.
Really good?
We could've been famous!
We could've been happy together!
Goodbye, Jimmy...
Goodbye...
Goodbye forever.
Forever.
I got talent.
I'll show him.
I gotta pee.
I'm done.
I'm done with him.
I'm done with men using me.
D-U-N.
Done.
You dumb bitch.
Too bad you had a look.
Where are you, you bitch?
Where are you?
Frickin' A.
Hey, what happened?
You alright?
What happened?
You blow out a tire?
Have a nice life.
I need a disguise.
Live at the Palms Casino Hotel in Las Vegas.
Breaking news.
There have been three people found brutally murdered
in the desert near the California Nevada border.
They appear to be celebrity impersonators.
There was even a Marilyn identified by the signature beauty mark.
Her dress was missing.
A cougar cat changed her strip.
I mean, stripes.
I got talent.
I got a gold at the end of that stupid-ass rainbow.
It's fool's gold that's faking the tits on these Vegas hoes.
You know, that's just your addiction to being self-destructive acting up again.
But you know what?
If the shoe fits, put the mother on.
Hey, it's not bad.
I got another t-shirt.
I ain't gonna save you.
I'm just gonna have to crash by her and learn the hard way.
Get drunk.
Yeah.
Damn.
Woo!
Oh, my God.
Yeah!
Get drunk.
Get drunk.
Another round.
Oh, for the house.
On me.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Damn.
Yeah!
Beer bong?
I'm Goddard.
Where are you from?
Outer space.
No, really.
That's for me to know and you to find.
Oh, my God.
I'm a great dancer,...
...and you suck.
Forgive me.
It's kind of difficult to dance with a heart of mine.
What's your name?
I can't remember.
Um... Olga.
Helga.
Helga.
Helga.
It's good to meet you, Helga.
I would like to take you to a nice dinner.
Some place magical.
So, Helga.
Helga?
That's your name, isn't it?
Uh-huh.
What brings you to this part of Seven Sisters?
Dance.
But I'll be leaving to go to different places.
Gotta learn ballet first.
Learn ballet?
I think you might be too old.
How old are you?
Thirty?
Thirty-two?
Thirty-five?
Thirty-two sounds good.
I never got my formal technique training.
I gotta take classes from Alvin Ailey or Juilliard or Joffrey.
I've got the money to do it.
I hate to burst your bubble.
Have you won any international competitions?
I won Miss Budweiser.
Miss Budweiser is international.
You got a wet titty contest.
I studied music at Juilliard.
No shit?
Look, it's tough out there.
Major conservatories aren't gonna give a shit about tits and ass.
Or pouring beer on your tits.
Ballet is respectful.
Maybe I'll end up in the Nutcracker dancing
the part of one of the nuts or pastry things.
I just wanna...
I wanna strut my stuff.
Diamonds draped around my boobs, feathers around my face like a Ziegfeld girl.
But instead, I've been slumming around a dirty pool
that all the strippers like to lick for some reason.
I licked it.
How bad?
I'm a showgirl.
And I was born to be the star of the show.
There can only be one star dancer.
What do you do?
Play in a band?
Almost my profession.
Now, just a hobby.
The instrument makes beautiful.
Beautiful noise, but no money.
Oh, I just needed that lucky break.
We have a lot in common.
Cause I need that lucky break too.
I'm making a deal to open my own musical cabaret in the north end of Seven Sisters.
A high class joint.
Big stars.
Big time shit.
I'm gonna call it Goddard's Goddess Club.
Be my star dancer.
Okay.
Okay?
So how old are you?
But I like older women.
Women are like bananas.
Bit of sweetest when they're ripe.
Right before they shrivel.
But you... You are a banana split.
With a cherry on top.
And nuts.
I'm freaked out.
- Let's go back.
- We can't.
They locked us in.
Trust me.
When you get to the end, you're going to be so happy.
Keep going.
It's the end of the rainbow, Helga.
This is Madame Blavatsky's mystic masonic brooch symbol.
Oh, yeah.
From the opera.
I've never been, but I knew a madam at the Bunny Ranch.
What?
No, not Madame Butterfly, Madame Blavatsky.
She wrote The Secret Doctrine, Occult Philosophy.
Said to be influenced by the Voltaire.
I've never heard of her.
Or Vulture?
She believed in magic and enlightenment.
She had many followers of philosophy.
Madame Blavatsky pointed out the pagan symbol of the letter G symbolizing God.
Then, the lunatic took the symbol upon himself and called it the swastika.
Whom he stole it from, he later turned around and banned their society.
And persecuted them, along with every other society and religion.
So, the society continued underground, practicing
the craft of secret to avoid the Nazi regime.
You know Helga, the Freemasons?
Well, she's not gonna be here, is she?
Helga, she died in the 1800s.
Caesar, your majesty.
A gem, Sir Brent.
Maybe your finest yet.
Nice ass.
He means pain.
He can't have hair out of place.
I know.
I like your tits.
Your table is right this way.
I love hearing Caesar sing.
Would you like to go to a party with me on Saturday?
Very fancy.
I would love to.
I guess you would, too.
A gala at the castle.
Oh, yes.
Besides I like trashy girls.
Welcome to the Rainbow Room, where the dreams you dare to dream really do come true.
Beyond Sin City, we are inside the Erotic City.
A city inside the womb of goddess.
Where the showgirls sizzle and the star burns hotter than the sun.
Live from Seven Sisters Studios, your beautiful Seven Sisters, Star Dancers!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, what you've all been desiring, a feast for your senses.
The Star Dancers!
That's my part.
Anyone with half a brain will be able to tell shit from Shinola.
I look classy?
Classy.
I'll take it.
How much?
$29,999.99.
It's on sale today.
Oh, I love a bargain.
It doesn't.
I'll ring you up over here.
It's
my golden parachute when I need it.
Son of a bitch.
Just cause a prick had a B.A.
A bad attitude?
No, dummy. B.A.
Get you laid while you're riding a high horse.
You're fighting me for pussy.
Well, that's a nice coat.
What is it, like 100 degrees outside?
It's classy, huh?
It's Shinola.
Whoa, what's that?
Who gave you the hickey?
I'm moving on up.
I don't want anything from here.
Bunch of junk.
I see.
I thought I'd give you money to stay in or something.
You just can't afford it.
But you'll come crawling back.
And he'll dump you, like they always do.
And you'll end up selling it.
Like you whores always have.
Now, what'd you call me?
Stripper. I'm not a stripper.
You know, you can always tell a stripper.
By her purse and the soles of her shoes.
Stripper.
I know I got an F in economics, but this doesn't add up very well.
Helga, I would like you to meet Katya.
Hi.
I speak English, darling.
I just rather not converse with white trash.
Madame Sarah.
So good to see you again.
My ladyship, I would like you to meet Madame Ekaterina Vindalova.
Lovely to meet you, Madame Vindalova.
I'm a tremendous fan.
Oh, please, call me Katya, my lady.
Congratulations to you both.
I just received my invitation in the mail today, as a matter of fact.
Oh, I've been honored to have you at our wedding.
I promise it will be spectacular.
Well, I look very forward to seeing more of you.
Goddard has been a great service to the lodge, and we all just adore him.
Oh, I'm sure they don't adore him nearly as much as I adore him.
Well, it took a beauty like yourself to snag the heart of Goddard.
Or Lord Goddard, I should say.
She had my heart from the moment I laid eyes on her.
It was her heart that I needed to melt.
Oh, he's being humble.
I fell head over heels for him, literally.
Did I tell you how we met?
She was the prima ballerina in Swan Lake.
And I was waiting outside for her with the roses.
She tripped over my foot and nearly fell down a flight of stairs.
I fell right into his arms before I landed.
No harm done.
Good thing you didn't fall down the stairs.
Ah, this is Helga.
Helga was at the Rainbow Room, and they were all very impressed with her.
Do a little spin, Helga.
Well, I'm very impressed with your brags-to-riches story, Katya.
From orphan to... Mrs. Goddard Brant.
As they say at Seven Sisters.
He will make me an honest woman.
Yes.
Madame, the Prime Minister is here, and he is a big fan of yours.
He actually saw your first performance in Moscow at the Bolshoi a few years back.
Could you please say hello to him?
He would be so delighted.
Oh!
Of course.
I promise to return her in just one moment.
Um, why didn't you tell me that you are engaged?
Helga, calm down.
No!
I want to go home!
You're a big, fat liar!
You led me on.
Ah!
Helga, I would like you to meet Count Vladimir von der Hollenburg.
This is Helga.
Miss Helga.
Call me Vladimir.
Beautiful.
You are the most beautiful woman at this party.
Have you seen the garden?
No.
Do you?
Do you like caviar?
Yes.
And...
Sailboats?
Yes.
But I get seasick.
Me too.
Have you seen the garden?
I thought you said to come today.
Oh!
No, go ahead.
No rest for the wicked.
How are you today, Miss Helga?
Oh, I'm in love.
I would give it all up just to be Mrs. Count Vladimir von...
Musch... Bit... Der...
Or whatever his name is.
That is wonderful.
Oh, he's splendid.
He's perfect.
Oh!
Maria, have you seen my diamond anywhere?
Which diamond?
The big one.
This one.
Oh!
I never imagined a man could make me feel this happy.
I mean, with my ex, it just left me feeling hopeless.
I think I was in it for the wrong reasons.
I want to be the one that he made a famous dancer.
So I trapped him.
Trapped him?
Yeah, with the oldest trick in the book.
I know that one.
You got pregnant.
But he outsmarted me and he trapped me with his dangling carrot.
It was all just a means to an end.
But I never got to the end of the rainbow.
That is not good, Miss Helga.
No.
It's a hot mess.
But with Vladimir, he's my soulmate.
He's like that big pot of gold I've always dreamed of.
Miss Helga?
Could you please pay me today?
My school tuition will be due.
And you haven't paid me for last week.
This right here?
This is my rainy day savings.
My nest day.
So if I go broke to the pawn shop she goes, and I promise I'll settle with you,
then my life of luxury will be over.
Well, perhaps, come Vladimir will marry you.
And then you'll live happily ever after.
In seven sisters.
Vladimir?
Oh, it's you.
The two-timer.
What's this?
I have more for you.
Please open the door.
Just let me explain.
I have
six days that I haven't heard from him.
He loved me.
Loved you?
How do you know this?
Because he told me so.
Your percentage.
Percentage of what?
From the gal.
The man you spent the weekend with.
From him.
What do you mean, Vladimir?
You were hired as an escort by him.
I introduced you to him, so therefore you get your percentage and I get mine.
I am not a prostitute.
Get out!
You are a whore, darling.
It's not a bad thing.
I'm not a whore.
It's the Madonna Whore Complex.
And you, my dear, are the whore.
I'm like a burger drive-thru.
And instead of a burger, it's a whore with fries and a soda that they order.
I've managed to make an honest living in a G-string.
How could you do this to me?
Here's two thousand dollars.
You have a talent for this.
Don't throw it away, Olga.
Good. Okay, okay.
We're going to cut, print.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
A one step...
All right, could you guys please do a once from the top?
Sorry?
Once from the top, please.
A feast for your senses!
The Star Dancer!
All right, cut, everybody, cut.
You believe me now, bitch?
Not now, bastard, not now.
Medic!
We will need to take x-rays, but it looks like she fractured her hip bone.
It may take a year to heal, then rehab before Mrs. Van Brassen can dance the show.
I guess it even happens to the best of them.
Fire my fucking bitch understudy.
What good is she anyway?
Darling, we don't even know that she did it on purpose.
She knows all the signature moves.
She can do them at a moment's notice, and she's got that star quality.
Don't cross me.
I saw her do the shimmy extra hard.
I saw it out of the corner of my eye.
If we fire her and are left without a Star Dancer, we risk
losing our advertisers and our sponsors in the blink of an eye.
Okay?
I need a panic attack.
Show's canceled.
That's it, sweetheart.
I'm sure she didn't mean to do anything.
No, no, no.
No.
Fire that bimbo.
Damn it.
I want to be the star.
Star Dancer.
It's still my show.
And the showgirl must go on.
Yes.
My darling, you are the greatest Star Dancer of them all.
This entire show will go into the toilet without you center stage.
I know.
But there must be someone who can do the show justice.
Why over my hip fracture heels?
Just dump it.
I want to be the understudy.
Then one down, one to go.
Ashton, if I told you this once, I've literally told it to you 64 times.
This is a female-driven show, okay?
Listen, the wig helps.
But you still got a package bulging out that you can see from space.
And we have to have real tits and no dicks.
You're a fucking bitch.
You can make me the understudy if you wanted to.
I can do a lot of things to you if I wanted to.
Oh, my God. What the fuck are you doing with him?
Nothing. He was coming on to me.
No, I wasn't.
Sebastian, you're cheating on me, you whore.
I did what I had to do.
You know I love you, Dominique.
You guys are both whores.
Okay.
So the rhinestones have been secured to every one of the cops.
It was not a loose bead or an ounce of French
that'll be hitting the floor ever again.
Very well.
And secure the sequins while you're at it.
Now I got a phobia of all things that glitter.
How am I too dense?
I still think that little whore slut did it on purpose.
Or that himbo bitch did it.
Okay, I came to my studio parking space the other
day, and my tire on my smart car was popping.
And I think he's trying to get revenge on me.
We kind of had a falling out and he's a little bit sore.
That's enough.
That's enough of these conspiracy theories about the sluts and the himbos, okay?
Let's focus.
We need to find another star dancer for tomorrow night.
We could have Andrea Champagne as your understa...
...or, uh... or, uh, Latoya?
Lady Gaga?
Oh, Conchita Rivera?
We need someone with class and style.
Who has formal technique training.
But...
with some dark secret.
So we can blackmail her with.
So when I'm ready for my comeback, she can be fired out of her contract.
Nice.
I have an idea.
- I have.
- Okay, okay.
Somebody get me a phone.
Bring a phone in!
We're going to call Madam Sarah.
Okay?
We're not members of the Most Powerful Lodge.
For nothing.
We will call in a favor, we will take advantage,
and they will send us the perfect girl for the job.
Sigh.
No way!
It's her!
That bitch got my part.
My own show at Tiki World.
That might be cool.
My own show.
Could emcee at Tiki World.
That'd be nice.
How much will you give me for this diamond necklace?
Hmm.
Well, it's a flawed diamond.
Maybe fifty, a hundred.
It would be worth more if it came with a happy ending.
Thanks.
Just wondering,...
...do I know you?
Bunu kiloduna sokmak isterdim.
Call me.
- Yes?
- It's me.
I was just thinking of you.
I think it's only fair that you owe me.
I want you to get me in to see Stardancer.
Front row, backstage.
I saw your bride on the other stage.
I'll see what I can do.
Helga, listen.
There's someone I need you to meet.
He's a big politician.
Very wealthy.
He saw you at the gala and he was enthralled.
What do you mean?
A customer?
No thanks.
I made a deal with God.
And lap dancing is as far as I go.
What I have in mind for you is big business.
Okay.
I'll sweeten the deal.
I will get you to see Stardancer if you promise to meet him.
Front row, backstage.
Deal?
Well, what does he look like?
He's nice looking.
Um, older.
Distinguished.
Okay, if you promise to give me a golden ticket, then...
...deal.
Deal.
Honey, I'm home.
Who was that, sweetie?
Uh, no one.
Just an investor who wants to do business with me.
How did it go last night with the politician?
I do what I have to do to get backstage.
Stardancer, right?
High security at the studio.
Bring your ID.
I lost my ID.
No ID. No Stardancer.
Tell them my real name is Maria Strauss.
Helga is just my stage name.
I am officially your understudy.
We need to meet tomorrow so I can learn the steps.
Okay, Bertha.
See you at 10 a.m.
Well, and can Sebastian come to you once he learns the steps as well?
Just in case.
Fine.
ID.
Maria Strauss.
Yeah, okay.
Go to stage five in the back.
Security guy's got your name on the door.
Where the showground sizzles and the star burns hotter than the sun.
And now ladies and... I missed one.
Go ahead and do it one more time, please.
Hotter than the sun.
Live from Seven Sisters Studios, your beautiful Seven Sisters.
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
It's time for the Stardancer with Mr. Stardancer and his whole dog in the dance.
Okay, cut that. We're going to print that one.
I like that one.
Okay, we're moving on. We're moving on, everybody.
Thank you.
It was awful.
They didn't even warn me of the body check at the audition, though.
Ugh, body checks are torture.
Body checks give them boners.
Body checks are worse than pap smears.
Would you guys please stop talking about vagina in front of me?
Disgusting.
You know I have a problem with pussy.
Let's talk penis.
I see yours is hard.
You wish you had one, jealous.
Whatever.
These bitches all have penis envy.
Shut the fuck up, Sebastian.
You know you want yours made into a vajayjay.
You just can't afford it.
We had an appointment in Mexico, but his meal ticket ran off with a woman.
She wasn't a woman.
She was a he-she of balls to the walls.
Hi, Katya.
You were amazing.
Do you remember me?
I'm... Helga.
Who forgot to take the trash out?
Guards!
I want to apologize to you for being such a bitch.
I understand.
I love Goddard.
More than anything.
I'm jealous of you because of Goddard.
There, I said it.
It's my fault for getting the wrong impression.
He's only a friend.
Like...
a brother.
A brother?
An agent?
Manager?
He thinks you can be a big star.
Goddard searches for girls that have special magic that he can exploit.
He wants to marry me because I don't have it.
Katya, you are the star dancer.
Of course you have it.
I'm not special.
Not like you.
You have that red hot magic heat.
Only that can live in his world.
You heat it up?
I watched you dance.
And... I want what you have.
I want that undescribable thing that makes people want to fuck you.
I know it's... whorish.
Whorily?
Maybe you know a word that better describes it, but...
...you understand, yes?
I guess so.
I'll never be lonely.
Never abandoned.
Always craved.
Goddard said you wanted to be a dancer.
Yes, I am a dancer.
Well, I was on my way to Juilliard or... Alvin Ailey or... to take ballet classes, but...
Well, maybe we can dance sometime together.
You don't have to go all the way there for ballet class.
I can teach you right here.
In Seven Sisters.
I would love that, Katya.
Where do you dance?
Right here.
Perfect.
Let's start with the basics.
First position.
And your arms are in port de bras.
Now, let me see you do a triple pirouette.
Chass, chass, pas de bourre.
Prepare.
Basics.
Look, look, look.
You're not even spotting.
Where you're focused, your body will follow.
Again.
I have these daydreams of myself dancing.
I imagine myself dancing so gracefully.
Well, dreams are good.
If you can see it in your dreams, you must move it out through your body.
Then they become reality.
Watch.
What you see and hear.
Your memory.
It becomes a dance.
You must feel it.
Feel it in here.
A love.
A passion.
And in here.
A primal creative instinct.
Dance, Olga.
Dance.
You're dancing or you're camel toe.
I was the best one in my whole child's one class.
I can't concentrate with all these problems in my life.
I can't dance.
I learned a valuable technique when I was a child.
The best advice I ever got.
When life gets too hard and your problems
get in the way piss on them and dance, Olga.
Dance.
Dance through the floor, Olga.
Dance through the floor.
Dance through the floor.
Dance Childhood.
Dance through the floor.
You
know, there's an art to a good wiener.
See, in Vegas everyone's a vegetarian.
No meat.
Just brown rice and vegetables and tofu dogs.
I'm digging your wiener.
Hey, do you want to have children?
Honestly, no.
I'm the worst mother in the world.
I want to have children.
Lots of them.
So does Goddard.
Well, I have a daughter.
Really?
Was he rich?
No, I picked a poor one.
My mother has custody of her because she gave
up her dreams of being a star to be a mother.
The state took her away from me.
But it's okay, because I can't take care of a kid.
I can't even take care of myself.
Well, I'm sorry that you lost custody of your daughter.
What about the father?
My ex-boyfriend or ex-fiance, whatever he's called...
...he's a special case out for.
He's a small-time drug dealer,...
...and he makes these T-shirts with these dumb sayings on them.
But he got his formal technique training at Alvin Ailey.
But he just couldn't make things happen in the real world.
Unmarried with a bastard child?
Hey.
Cheers.
Men and life.
Bittersweet.
We take the sweet with the bullshit.
I put my heart and soul into thinking of this dance idea,
and I went to him to ask him to choreograph it for me.
And you know what he said?
What?
He said that he wants this other dancer, this other chick, to have the lead part in my dance show.
He says I dance like a Junkermobile.
He said I dance like a truck.
And then it got worse.
Then he rewrites my show.
And he wants me to do this Martha Graham, avant-garde-style dance.
And he puts a gag in my mouth and has me have no makeup on and puts me in a coffin.
And then I'm stuck in the coffin for the rest of the show.
What a prick!
Yeah, I almost snapped on him.
And stabbed him in the heart, just like he did to me.
Well, my life as a prima ballerina hasn't been easy.
But I wish I had your life.
Well, it's not been as glamorous as you think.
I've paid my dues.
And you know what, darling?
It ain't pretty.
It was ballet that saved my life.
I spent my childhood in hospitals.
But they provided this ballet program for us.
To heal us.
They kept shoving pills down my throat and trying all these barbaric techniques.
But it was ballet that was my cure.
Dancing keeps me sane in this insane world.
But it's a tough business.
I came from poverty in communist Russia.
I had to claw my way all the way to the top.
And as soon as you would get hot, they'd put out your fire.
Like a cigarette put on asphalt.
And the only thing you could do was just try not to let them burn you out.
Just fight with fire.
They could fry an egg on my asphalt.
That's what it takes.
A burning desire.
An obsession.
Katya, can we do this again?
You really inspire me.
Goddess power.
Goddess power.
I love chinchilla.
I like it better than mink.
In my opinion.
What'd you call it?
Chinchilla.
May I have it?
Sure.
Looks good on you.
And your basic primal instinct.
Remember, now don't be afraid of your pussy.
Primal creative instinct.
Yes.
Don't be afraid of using your pussy.
Come on. It's right there.
Pli into it.
Breathe from it.
Pulling up through the body.
Yes. That's right.
Sombre.
Pas de bourre.
L'essence d'ensemble.
Now, let's try some piquees.
Turn. Turn.
Spot. Turn.
Spot.
Spot.
Good.
Excellent.
Step into arabesque.
And hold it.
Step again into arabesque.
And hold it.
Into arabesque.
Passe.
Let's go to side.
Penche.
Come back up into an attitude...
...and follow your hands.
You see how grand that is?
You're doing so much better.
Jump out of a red suit to the new.
Suit to the new, suit to the new.
In.
Up.
Good.
And back, suit to the new.
Go, point your toe.
Back, here.
There.
That's better.
Bravo!
Thank you for teaching me ballet.
Here's bubbles.
Here's bubbles.
Tonight, I want you to teach me to be the whore.
You're more than a whore.
You're a goddess.
And I'll teach you anything you want.
Here's bubbles.
Here's bubbles.
Please,
once more time with that routine.
Spread apart a little bit.
Any
more dancers here?
Bravo!
What's wrong?
Didn't my fianc tell you it's all about Helga?
No, I haven't talked to her.
Seems he's more interested in your career than in me.
Well, Katya, what do you want me to do?
I'd like to be alone.
Security, there's a fan harassing me.
Take this trash slut out.
She is stinking up my dressing room.
I was once the source of passion in his life.
Then he sees me on a pedestal.
The mother.
His mother.
So I begin to mother him.
Crave the security from him.
But he still craves passion.
No longer the fountain he drinks from.
He looks elsewhere to drink from the whore's fountain.
The whore cries a river of tears when he leaves
her alone and comes home to mommy dearest.
You used to call me your love sponge.
Now I know I'm losing you.
Now all you call me is a good cook.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ugh!
This is a big client for us, okay?
I will talk with Katya.
She is certifiably cuckoo, you know that right?
Weak.
You should thank her for being so tough on you.
I wish I...
Take the world by your teeth and rip them to shreds.
That's the only way you're going to get what you want out of life.
Sigh.
Oooh.
Oh, right here.
Right here.
Happy anniversary!
Oh, honey!
You approve?
Can we dig right in?
Why stand on ceremony?
Celery?
What?
Why would anyone want to stand on celery?
Ceremony.
It means that we're not being formal.
But please don't stand on the celery either.
I'll just go change the music.
Amor, let's put Helga in the show for me.
My own girl.
She can dance.
She can be my project.
Yes.
I will oblige.
Show?
Let's not talk business tonight.
Just take care of the business at hand.
Pleasure.
Who
it is, my darling?
It's our favorite studio exec.
Well, the studio is going under.
Since the lovely Mrs. Von Brausen injured herself, it's been nothing but a headache.
But I'm not here to discuss business.
Then undress.
We can meet in the conference room to talk business.
Pleasure...
is the name of the game tonight.
If it's pillow talk you want...
I'm all ears.
Cheers.
Thank you for inviting me to your anniversary party.
I'm sorry.
Oh, that's great!
My prayers are answered.
I'm going to be a star.
What kind of part is it?
Oh, well, it's like a horror film.
Like a suspense thriller type.
Okay.
Here.
Watch this.
Are you serious?
A porno?
It's for private use only.
We have contracts that cover all of this.
What's that?
That's my maid.
Is he killing her?
No!
No, no.
That's fake blood.
What do you think?
What was the director thinking?
Gotta go.
This announcing maid is pissing me off.
Oh, would I play the part of the girl getting stabbed?
They will shoot you in the head.
With a gun.
Blow your brains out. Straight out.
After the love scene.
You and another girl end up dead.
It's your grand finale.
All fake, though.
It'll bring in a pretty penny.
Elga...
- He's talking about a snuff film.
- Snuff?
I know what that is.
Cowboys sniff it like a chew.
No, it's not chewing tobacco.
It's very evil.
They find people like runaways or homeless people that they can easily dispose.
And they trick them into thinking that they're just shooting a porno.
And then they kill them on film.
Do you think he was serious?
This word.
Blot.
It is a pagan worship of Rudin.
It is rooted and sacrificed to a deity.
I saw it written on a disc.
I study cases like this in my detective class that I'm taking.
Miss Elga, don't do it.
My paycheck can wait.
This is supposed to be a gated community, can't they let us?
I'm so sorry, Elga.
It's just that my relationship is becoming very hard on me.
He's stewing down at me.
I'm dying of thirst.
Katia, you can trust me.
It's you that's the problem.
Gara ignores what's happening in my life.
Too busy to taste cake for our wedding.
I'm all alone.
Picking out ribbons and play settings.
All I hear 24-7.
Elga this, Elga that.
I'm so dehydrated.
And now he's frantically looking for a new one?
We're all disposable.
He has them auditioning, imitating your charms, trying to cast a new Elga?
Is he losing his mind?
There's only one Elga.
The grand finale.
My grand finale.
The death scene.
He is serious.
I must get out of Goddard's web.
You're okay with body checks, right, Elga?
My, I just said he had a baby bump.
She left today.
Sherman, you gotta understand.
No, it's all about the ratings.
If you don't have the ratings, you don't get the sponsorship.
No sponsorship means no ads.
No ads means no audience.
No audience means no sales.
Right.
Yeah, well, no sales, that doesn't compute.
Okay.
Bye.
Mr. Van Brelsen.
I'd like to introduce you to one of my friends.
She's an amazing dancer.
This is Helga.
Hello.
Could you do me a favor, Mr. Van Brelsen?
Please let Helga audition for the show.
Of course, darling.
I trained her myself.
She knows all my signature moves.
I hope so.
Of course.
Bring her to the audition.
We love Helga.
We all love Helga.
Okay.
We only need one of you.
We are looking for technique, but even more, sex sells.
I don't care how old you are and I don't care how young you are.
As long as you rope it.
Red hot, magic heat.
We have perverts to please of all ages.
Okay.
A five, six, seven, eight.
Number 23.
Step forward, please.
Yes, you.
Number six.
Thank you and goodbye.
Come back and see us when you get your tits fixed.
Everyone else. Please hex the building.
Don't call us. We'll call you.
Well.
You're the last one left standing.
What's the matter?
Don't you like to smile when you dance?
That grin on your twat's not gonna cut it.
We'd like to see some teeth on these lips.
Thank you.
Yes.
We need to keep them lubed so that your lips slide.
Try this.
Try this.
Just like a beauty.
Perfect.
You have such a beautiful smile.
You need to keep it lubed up.
Okay?
We wouldn't want Cottonmouth to get the best of you on a special day like today.
All right.
Okay.
Let's dance.
One and a two.
And a three and a four.
And kick that leg up to Jesus.
And then some one and a two.
And PK, PK, PK.
She has the sex appeal.
...but our dancing,...
...our extensions,...
...we will have to hit the slide.
Well, it's important to keep this one close.
I can whip her in the shade.
Piss on him and just dance.
Body checks.
Body checks!
Body checks.
Okay.
We need to check your body.
We need to see how you look on film.
Okay?
So, we need you to strip down.
Strip down and dance.
Look, we've got a European version for God's sake.
I need to see your tits and ass.
Video ads, five pounds.
At least.
And we gotta see how you photograph naked.
Look, don't let me down here, Miss Budweiser.
What'd you call me?
Miss Budweiser.
It's on your resume.
Tell me something.
How'd you get the part?
Did you win it by wearing a... a wife beater soaked in beer?
Or was it a bikini?
Or were you topless?
Topless?
Okay.
Well...
You want to get the part, right?
Complete the audition, then.
You gotta get the studio execs and the network approval.
Now, I own the show.
You're the dancer, right?
Yes, I am a dancer.
Right.
So, just strip down, let me see your tits, and put them on film.
Okay. Let's dance.
Now. Dance.
Yes.
Do your pique turns.
Smile!
can't find your paperwork anywhere.
Accounting needs an ASAP.
Okay?
Do you like my nails?
You pour the champagne, my darling.
I'm on cloud nine.
Our angel dance was like a slice of heaven.
Imagine me in Star Dancer.
I finally made it.
And next, I will rise to being THE Star Dancer.
Like you, my love.
I used to look up to you.
Now, I look at you.
Well, I wouldn't go that far, Helga.
I'm just so happy.
I'm so happy too, Helga.
I told you, where you focus, your body will follow.
I'm so happy you're here with me.
You are mine.
Here's bubbles.
Here's bubbles.
Katya, my paperwork, it's not in order.
It's complicated.
Are you in some sort of trouble?
Or a checkered past?
Don't worry.
I'll pull some strings for you.
They did for me.
Stop showing up unannounced.
You leave a message at the front gate.
That's how it works.
You interrupt my creative primal...
My creativity.
You know what that is?
Money.
The highest paid whore I've ever booked.
That's your percentage.
Thanks.
They like me.
They were nice.
Explain.
Explain?
Well, there was this celery problem and Mrs. Von Bronson was singing opera.
This show.
I saw you on the show.
Why wasn't I told of this?
Were we good?
I own you.
You are mine.
I want my percentage.
But I saw this show on TV from my stripper room.
It was my dream.
I was the one that got you the job as that dancer.
No.
Katya got me an audition.
No.
No.
You fucked the producer of that show.
And his wife.
And a studio exec and a foursome.
I was the one that did all of that.
I'm the one that set up your dream.
Do you think all of this wasn't planned?
To be seen by them.
Doing what you do best.
But I auditioned for the part.
When you fucked them.
That was your audition.
Why didn't you tell me about this?
Because you are dumb.
You.
I'm the one pulling the strings.
And you are the puppet held up.
I'm trying to move us all ahead.
And you just keep messing things up.
But I'm living my dream.
How is this messing things up?
What's your dream?
Owning whores?
You are nothing.
Nothing but a dumb beer bong slut.
I molded you into what you are today.
And now you're living the dream.
Go figure.
I want what's mine.
And you are mine.
Angel with dirty face.
You make me sick.
No.
No.
Have you ever considered becoming a male stripper?
You Vegas whore.
I'm gonna make you my star.
Bitch.
Hey.
Wait here.
Where you going baby?
They don't bring this stuff out to you.
What?
What are you up to?
Come back here.
I heard she fucked her way to the spot.
I heard her pussy is golden.
That fucking darling of mine makes diamonds.
It's a lie.
She fakes it.
Her pussy makes rhinestones.
The fake plastic kind.
Katya, they must have moved my locker.
Can I dress with you?
I have an idea.
I have a copy on how to get my work papers.
I quit with Goddard.
Why didn't you tell me you fucked my producers?
I thought you knew.
I own you.
You are mine.
How could you go and do this to me, you stupid whore?
You betrayed me.
He set it up as a job.
It turned out to be the producers.
You got me the audition.
They liked me.
You sucked.
I helped you and now you embarrass me with a slap in the face?
It's just dumb luck, whore.
I found her.
Katya. Katya.
Let's go.
You must go and find Goddess.
She is the sacred black Madonna.
She'll put you on the right path.
I'm lost.
It's
time to face the music.
The real music.
What have we got here?
Pink lip gloss.
What's this?
Daryl Smith.
The Hollywood producer.
Well.
Little misfit writing whore.
I may not know where you are...
...but rest assured,...
...the big bad wolf is coming for you.
I'm giving you my notice to vacate.
Here is my key.
Thank you.
Oh, some lady, hysterical lady came and gave me this note to give to you.
I'm not sure who she was, but I thought I recognized her.
I think she was somebody from that terrible dance show...
Stardance or something like that.
Thanks for coming.
I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.
I'm so old.
It's your happy unbirthday.
You're not old.
Don't even say that.
I'll ruin my mascara.
You're not old.
I'm old.
I'm thirty-something.
You're not old.
That's thirty-five.
Thirty-eight.
Thirty-nine.
Mae West didn't even come to Hollywood until she was thirty.
Twenty-nine.
And they say forty is the new twenty-eight.
I'm not even considered a girl anymore.
I'm just some kind of a jungle animal.
- Which one?
- A cougar, Helga.
Let's run away together.
I have some connections in San Francisco.
We can escape this place. Easy.
I can headline in this cabaret.
It's fabulous.
And you can be my understudy.
I mean, I do need that off.
Oh no, it's just, it's all a mess.
It's just, it's past the point of no return.
They've called the asylum to take me away.
Oh, Helga, it's only you and me.
We don't need them.
Hey.
Oh yeah, I mailed it back to him.
It was his grandmother's.
Ugh, he's such a liar.
He probably got it at a pawn shop.
Who knows?
Helga, I want to hear everything.
I want to hear your story.
Brothers, sisters.
Twin sister.
She died in an accident.
A bubble bath accident.
The radio fell into her tub.
I tried to revive her, but...
This is my sister's remains.
Her ashes.
The carbon turns into a diamond.
It was an option at the morgue.
It was burial, cremation, or ashes into a diamond.
It's very expensive.
My ex, he encouraged me to get the diamond because we were getting engaged.
Luckily, Mom took out a life insurance policy on her.
What?
Right before her accident.
I feel...
Like my... My sister is my guardian angel.
A phoenix rising from the ashes.
Isn't it strange that...
When our souls leave our bodies...
And all that's left here is the same stuff a diamond is made out of.
Diamonds in the rough.
Precious jewels aren't made of stone.
But of flesh.
How was tonight?
Not so good.
Forty-three bucks.
We're competing against trounties.
I'm sorry, Helga.
I thought I had more pull than that.
Maybe we should head to Paris.
Forty-three bucks to my name.
My percentage?
Are you all right?
Fine.
I twisted my ankle on a rhinestone.
Slipped.
But I'll be all right, darling.
I wish I could have been your understudy.
Yeah, right.
I know how bitchy you understudies can be.
And besides, they want a real dancer.
Skilled and trained.
You
just aren't good enough.
But you are.
A great stripper.
I can't believe it.
I'll tell you later.
How symbolic.
Even the Virgin Mary.
The Madonna.
She has a price on her.
The Madonna and the whore.
We both are valuable.
We must get what we are worth.
Or they don't get us.
I need the money.
I'm sorry we are closed.
My necklace... I see.
Well, I always let people in who's better than gifts, you know.
Come on.
And I'm very sorry.
You come better than gifts, Sheila.
Shut up!
This is my world!
Tiki world!
Okay?
Are you ready for big star show?
Big star for the show!
She come...
...She used to be on local TV station show star dancer!
She a beast!
Okay.
So you're not getting it.
Well, maybe you're not that hip.
I'm surprised she didn't tell you.
I've been her understudy for years.
In case Aunt Princess gets injured...
I should audition you for the understudy.
I'll audition for you right now.
Shit happens.
Great show!
I love ya!
Ha ha!
How do you know she's there?
It's show time.
Whoo!
She's got stars in her eyes.
She's a needle in a haystack.
She's got diamonds on her debts and shoes.
And don't forget those double D's to make your mouth water.
Please ladies and gentlemen.
I want to be loved by you.
Catalina Bantaloa!
Lova!
You look good out there.
Thank you.
I finally learned some ballet.
Got a little formal technique training.
I can tell.
Penny.
Come home, babe.
I love you.
I love you too.
But I don't belong in the kitchen.
I belong up there.
I'm the star dancer.
I like it here.
But I wrote a new number for you too.
We can put it up somewhere.
I don't know.
We'll sell some tickets.
Save some money.
Get a bigger apartment.
We've been down that road, Jimmy.
Really.
It leads to a dead end.
Do good on your own.
Yeah.
I guess a tiger can't change its stripes, right?
Right.
I got a gig.
To assist a dance teacher who used to teach for Alvin Ailey in New York.
If you ever get to Broadway, call me.
Wow.
That's great, Jimmy.
What about your T-shirts?
What, these?
They suck.
They don't suck.
There's a price to pay for success.
Dues to be paid.
Sacrifices to be paid.
To be made on every imaginable level.
It all comes down to how bad you want it.
What the hell?
See?
You just play dumb.
No.
A possum plays dead.
Not dumb.
I have a warrant for your arrest.
You can't do this.
Oh yeah?
Where are you taking her?
Back to Vegas.
Have you seen the commercials?
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Even for criminals and their crimes.
Come on, honey.
You have the right to remain silent.
Honey, I'll meet you in Vegas.
Send her a postcard.
I'll get the bail money.
I won't let you down, Penny Slott.
Maybe we can do Caesars.
Okay, ladies.
If you cooperate, we'll make this quick.
We'll let you get back to work.
Make sure I've got everyone I need.
Cupcake.
What are you looking at?
Sugar.
I'll try to make an honest living.
Tammy. I didn't do anything.
- Jenny.
- Shut up, you two dollar hooker.
I see you on the street every night.
Gloria.
I have six kids to feed.
You're wasting my time.
Simmons, bring them in.
There they are.
I need to see their asses.
Excuse me?
Have them turn around so I can see their asses.
I've got to feel it.
All right, ladies.
Let's see your asses.
Come on. Turn around. Count it clockwise.
I don't want to hear anything.
Just do it.
Oi.
Glove don't work. You don't fit.
You must acquit.
That ass fit my hand like a glove, sir.
This is her.
And that would be Penny Slott.
I solved your case for you.
For my thesis.
Here.
The thesis is in the box.
Don't worry.
It's private.
Codename stripper number one.
I've got something for you.
Where did you find that?
At the pawn shop.
Um. It's good around my neck.
Hey, ain't you the slut in the shit sheets?
The famous whore?
Hey, say, want a shot?
Here's my ass.
Sure.
Dumbster Debbie gets a load of this.
You got change?
See ya, Penny.
Pick it up.
Honey, here.
For good luck.
Honey, Vegas was a blast.
You were a big hit.
Thank you, Magnolia Silver.
I love you.
I love you too, honey.
Bye.
Bye, darling.
Honey, next time we get the penthouse.
Okay?
- Broadway.
- Bingo.
I can get you to Kansas City.
You look familiar.
Are you famous?
You.
Can I have your autograph?
See, darling?
You are a star fucker.