Shubh Mangal Savdhan (2017) Movie Script

'And thus begins another Great
Indian Wedding Spectacle.'
'In other words... A Delhi Wedding.'
'Honestly speaking...'
'...I was never in favor
of such a grand-wedding.'
'I always wanted to elope and get married.'
'First, I would've fought with my family.'
'Imagine, night-time, on
a bike, the highway...'
'Just the two of us, and a bag.'
'The bag filled with few clothes...'
'...and a promise of everlasting love.'
'Papa would've abused my
husband over the phone.'
'Mom would've slipped into
depression... and...'
'Well, a lot could've
happened, if I had eloped.'
'But, before any of this
could come true...'
'...Mudit came into my life.'
'Frankly speaking, until 2 weeks ago...'
'...everyone was so concerned
about my marriage...'
as if India's GDP depended on it.'
'As soon as I said 'yes'...
'...I became the 'Raymond Man' overnight.'
'For the first time, someone
asked for my opinion...'
' Pammi aunty's land dispute case.'
'A glass was automatically reserved
for me in the car's trunk.'
'Suddenly, my opinion
mattered in everything...'
'...ranging from politics to
my nephew's mushroom haircut!'
'Seriously dude, I am Mudit...
not Mahesh Bhatt.'
'And then, everything suddenly changed
when I met Sughandha 2 weeks ago.'
'You call that a meeting?'
'You wouldn't even come up and talk to me.'
'Oh great, you knew that I was...
- Interested in me.'
'The entire Nehru Place knew that.'
But, why doesn't he say something?
- Is he mute?
Out of cash! Out of cash!
- Oh, God! - We're out of cash.
Please leave.
Listen, I am going to the
ATM at the back, okay.
Sugandha! Sugandha!
'Oh really?'
'So, what was your first impression of me?'
'One shouldn't form
opinions about Delhi guys.'
'Or you end up with too many expectations.'
'And, you were so weird.'
You took so long to come
up and talk to me.'
You could've approached me instead.'
'No way... the girl never
makes the first move.
It's always the boy!'
'Now, you're making up your own rules.
- That's the rule.'
'I don't agree.'
Stop it you two.
What have we been doing
for the last one month?
Counting fountain lights,
Eating kilos of groundnuts!
And now... this bear dance.
Come one... come all.
She's looking this way. - Who, the bear?
Don't lose focus, my friend.
She is looking at the bear.
Don't just stand there and stare.
Go talk to her.
Look, man, sister-in-law
is our birth-right.
Go on... don't just stand there.
- Fine, I am going.
Bro, I beg you..
I said I am going! - Go now!
Please, go.
Do it.
Go Simran... go!
He's coming.
He's coming this way. - Wait. He's coming.
He'll talk... he'll talk this time...
Go on.
Get him off.
Shoo... shoo...
Get him off.
He'll bite me... He'll bite me...
Someone get him off!
Get him off. - Don't get too close.
Hold on... Hold on... Let it go.
Get him off me.
Do something, will you?
What can I do, mister?
Give me that cloth...
Hit him!
Get him off!
Get him off! Get him off!
Get him off!
That thing will kill him.
So, you were approaching the girl...
when a bear jumped on you? - Yeah!
You're insane.
All this effort to talk to a girl.
You should've sent her a
proposal online instead.
You want me to send her a proposal online?
Why? Don't you watch TV?
Those who get jumped by a
bear, send proposals online.
You know what, create a
nice profile for yourself.
And, don't worry if she says yes.
We'll take it from there.
And remember, try not to
make spelling mistakes.
"Say it out loud..."
"That your son is a coward."
"And, I will spare 'his life."
"Earlier, I was always worried
about my daughter's security."
"You know how vulnerable
young girls can be."
"But then, I learned about
this safety device."
"One device stays with me..."
Go... Mom!
"...and the other one is always
in my daughter's purse."
"That's how I keep a tab on my daughter."
"And now I can sleep peacefully."
"And, even my sugar
levels have normalized."
Wow Vimla, you were amazing.
I am really proud of you.
You're looking fantastic.
Brother, what do you think?
She looks weak.
Isn't that right?
She's looking fat. - I know.
Sugu's in a really good mood.
I think we should talk to her...
about the online proposal we
received last night. - Yeah...
Speak softly, otherwise,
brother will overhear you.
Brother... - Yeah...
You're discussing Sugu's
wedding, and I don't know.
What? - No, it's not what you think.
Let's discuss this later.
Your wedding? - What's going on?
Why later?
Are we trying to jinx your happiness?
Stop yelling at me, brother.
I haven't spoken to Sugu about this either.
Let's make one thing clear.
Who's the eldest in the family, me or her?
You see, brother.
You're the eldest in your family,
and I am the eldest in mine.
Doesn't matter how old you get...
but, I am always going
to be older to you.
Were you even going to invite
me to your daughter's wedding?
Which daughter?
What wedding?
My wedding's been fixed...
and I don't know about it.
- Can't you stay quiet?
You like getting yourself humiliated.
If they don't want to invite
you to the wedding...
then, that's their decision. - What?
You know what, Vimla.
Let us know whenever you fix
a date for the wedding.
We'll come over if we're not busy.
Hold on a second...
You guys even fixed a date for my
wedding, and I don't know anything.
Can you please stop ranting about
'Humiliation', sister-in-law
We paid for your popcorn.
And, I was just telling him...
that, we'll ask brother to
perform the rituals at her wedding.
What rituals? - That's true.
Will someone tell me who sent the proposal?
It was an online proposal, dear.
- Online?
And you...
Did you tell us when Neelam
flunked her college?
That's enough! - Why drag her in all this?
One second.
So, is this revenge?
We would've definitely told you.
But, you forgot all about us
as soon as you left Haridwar.
How can you forget your childhood days...
when you used to pee on my shoulder?
I'll do it again if you behave
like that same elder brother.
I am that same elder brother.
I certainly am...
Else, I would've demanded to share...
the expenses of our
father's death anniversary.
But I am being generous with you.
Will someone show me who sent the proposal?
He's a really nice boy. - Boy?
What is that?
Girls school... girls college...
Even for my swimming classes,
you enrolled me in the girl's batch.
Now what do I do with a guy?
Show her. - Just a second...
Here you go, dear.
I thought... - Take a look...
Not again... - Wait, I'll show you too.
Stop behaving like a kid.
Ginny, it's him. - Oh, my...
It's the same bear guy!
How dare he?!
All he had to do was ask for my number...
But, he sends a proposal online?
This isn't right.
Can only hot girls have a love-story?
Don't normal girls have any feelings?
Look at his package first. - I
don't even want to see his face.
I've been cheated.
Love-stories never begin
after the wedding...
it always comes to an end, Ginny.
If you have a problem then just say no.
But he's a decent guy.
How can I say no?
I had such high hopes.
First, we'll start by giving missed calls.
Then, we'll go out together...
But, he just ruined all my plans.
It's so hard to find a
decent guy these days.
And, the ones who...
He turned my 'love' into
'arranged' (marriage).
But now, I am going to find
love in this arrangement.
It's not as easy as it looks.
Is there anyone here called Mudit?
I'll call you back.
There are two.
Sharma and Shrivastava.
The 'bear' guy.
I see...
Hold on.
Hello. Mudit, someone here to see you.
And, you are...
Are you a wimp?
No... Sharma, from Gurgaon!
And, on my mother's side...
I didn't ask about your caste.
Come out.
What were you thinking when you
sent that online proposal?
These days guys don't want
to put in any effort.
You've been checking me out
for almost a month now...
yet, you couldn't muster the
courage to come up and talk to me?
Every day I end up extending my lunch time
I already bought three video
games for my brother.
I even bought three software and
four DVDs from the market...
and still you didn't approach me.
- But, I did.
But, I had no clue that the bear
was interested in me as well.
Now, you're laughing.
See, you're laughing!
How could I talk to you?
This is getting so embarrassing.
Is that why you sent an online proposal?
I didn't have any option left?
I practiced really hard... talking to you.
In fact, I had rehearsed
everything by-heart.
But, that's the problem with me.
Never had a problem in theory...
but, I always failed in practicals.
Mudit. - Yeah...
That wasn't right.
The boss was asking for the report.
- I am on it.
But listen... - The company won't shut down
But this is important. - Get lost.
Is he a friend? - Just someone I know.
He was trying to make an
impression, that's all.
Well, I'll leave now.
Or, you might get yelled at by your boss.
He's on a leave. He's got loosies.
Anyway I don't intend to work here forever.
I've already applied elsewhere.
As soon as I get a call...
Two cups of tea...
No worries, I'll have it...
Take this sir.
I just asked for tea.
Smoking is bad for health...
Can't you see I'm with someone?
Are you an engineer? - Diploma from NI Oh really...
Which one? - Pitampura.
Doesn't Mr. Asthana teach there?
- He's a bloody pervert.
He's our family friend.
Well... he is quite a pervert.
So, if you get that new job,
you'll move out of here.
Then, you will look at
other girls, won't you?
There's a thing called
'loyaltyness' in life.
Which means if the bear hadn't
interrupted that day...
you would've stuck to me like glue.
You girls are too much, you know.
You want everything, don't you?
Okay, bye.
Sorry for yelling at you.
'Yes' or 'no'?
Even I shop online...
but, not before trying out the
stuff few times at the shop.
It's free you know.
Then, try me.
Who's stopping you?
When a girl says 'no', it
basically means 'yes'.
And boys who believe that are stupid.
So that means you said no.
You're so negative, you know.
Let's meet then...
I'll change your no into yes.
Fine, let's meet... - Where?
You prefer that, don't you?
No bear to interrupt us either.
But, with your parents...
I don't trust these online types.
I am making the call, okay.
Can they see us?
What about the volume?
It's connected.
Sound... where's the sound?
It's connected. Please...
Why is it so slow?
Oh, they're here...
So many people.
Hello. - Hello.
Touch their feet.
Not mine, theirs... - It's alright, dear.
There's no need.
And anyway, we're quite modern.
Actually, we're quite modern too...
But you see, when bending
down to touch the feet...
its exercise for the back muscles
and also acupressure for the feet.
But, you look healthy.
Let it be, dear.
Dear, did you make that
painting on the wall?
Which one?
This one?
Oh, no-no... that's just a wet-patch.
Which one...
I see...
I thought it's modern art.
Uncle... - Huh?
Sir... - Yes...
I think we should leave now.
And, give the children some privacy.
- Yeah...
Go where?
Let's... - You guys stay, I... I'll go.
Son-in-law's leaving instead.
Don't move the laptop, it's
connected to the wifi...
Okay... - Yeah...
Come on... come on...
Come on, son. - I'll beat you.
Follow me.
Hi. - Hello.
How are you? - I am fine.
Every time I look at you, it
reminds me of the bear...
Excuse me, that was a compliment.
I'm sure the bear saw something
interesting that he jumped on me.
I see.
I didn't see the bear at all,
my concentration was on you.
I mean... I was completely
focused on you...
Like Arjun's eye, you know......
You mean, the fish eye... - Exactly.
Tell me something... why
do you want to marry me?
I like you...
Whenever I look at you,
I want to talk to you.
I've worked for marketing all my
life and sold a lot of things.
But for the first time,
I am presenting myself.
My family's been insisting
that I get married.
But, I only said 'yes' after I saw you.
I don't know whether your answer's
going to be 'yes' or 'no'. But...
You are special.
Do you know Birla Temple?
Is that a 'yes'? - Well,
it's not a 'no' either.
I'll take the auspicious
token from your mother...
but, I haven't made up my mind yet,
if you should get the
token from my mother.
Okay, bye.
What are you doing there?
Come here... She's calling you.
Brother... - Yeah...
You really spent a lot.
Did you have this kind of money?
I spent my entire savings on this.
Doesn't it look lavish?
You should've spent
according to your status.
This isn't the wedding,
it's just the engagement.
Brother, I'll borrow money if I have to.
She's my only daughter.
I'll do the best I can.
We only had one father...
But, you didn't spend a dime
on his death anniversary.
Do you realize what you're saying, brother?
This is such an auspicious moment...
Children are getting engaged...
Come here. - Coming!
And you're just... - Papa,
where do I plug this in?
The batteries are almost dead!
- Plug it in here.
What a pathetic man!
That's no way to talk to children.
No shame at all. - What happened?
He was just asking where do
I plug in the charger...
and he said to plug it in here.
Mom. - Hmm?
I haven't said 'yes' for this wedding yet.
I never said 'yes' to your father either.
But we spent 30 years together.
It's not the same thing, mom.
I am not sure about this at all.
No one's ever sure at your age.
What are you saying?
What does age have to do with this?
Tell me what to do.
Stop making faces first.
And remember to sport a big smile.
Otherwise, you'll be stuck with an ugly
wedding album for the rest of your life.
You just don't get it.
Mom, Mudit and I met a few days ago.
It's a great time you're living in.
At least you two got to meet.
You got the chance to
understand each other.
You know, your father I and I
got engaged over a telegram.
"Congratulations. for. the. Engagement."
Full stop."
Come on, dear.
Get ready, everyone's waiting outside.
Only I am not ready.
Don't hand over the envelope
until I don't say so.
Just don't... - But... I...
What a weird girl.
You know what, let's get
over with the formalities..
Before the gift and fruit
baskets get spoilt
You're absolutely right.
Where were you?
Come, stand here.
Here you go, dear.
Keep it.
It's your turn now.
Where's the envelope? - Did
you forget it at home?
Where is it?
Check your purse,
Must be in there.
Yes, I did keep it in my purse, but...
I've to use the washroom? - Washroom?
Mom... - Ginny, go with her.
Come on...
See... now she wants to use the washroom.
Where did I keep the envelope?
You're just too much...
She's talking nonsense,
Doesn't mean a thing.
He's gone too.
Where's he going?
Sugandha. - Mudit?
Yeah... I'm listening.
- What am I supposed to say?
But you said come to the washroom.
- Yeah, but... I had to go.
What are you doing here?
Mudit, what are you doing here?
Yes, I...
Fine, I'll wait outside.
But, I must speak with you urgently.
Come quickly.
Wait, I'll be back in 5 minutes.
Let's get on with the rituals, please.
I haven't thought about it.
My entire family's waiting outside.
At least give me something.
At least a coconut.
You're going to embarrass me
in front of my entire family.
Mudu... - Megha, you?
What a pleasant surprise?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
I came here with my grandma.
Where were you? - Grandma...
Remember Mudu. - Hello.
Take her away.
Take her away. - Come on.
But, what are you doing here?
It's his engagement,
and he's standing here.
God knows where the girl is. - Engagement?
Fix the pleats.
Coming, uncle.
Remember, where did we meet last time.
It's been a really long time.
I haven't forgotten what
you said that day to me.
Remember what you said to me that day?
I am fooled. - Online proposal!
You remember.
Oh, Mudu.
Why is she calling him Mudu?
You know, I followed you everywhere...
Insta(Instagram)... Snappy (Snapchat)...!
What were you saying?
You know, actually...
Ginny, please talk to her.
I am fooled.
Is she coming?
She's here. She's here.
Come, dear.
Where is he? - You're back, dear.
Hurry up, dear. - Where is he?
Tell Tyagi to take a look. - He's here.
Ohh, my... it's right here.
Take it. - Take it.
"I keep it difficult for
him but doesn't listen"
"Kanha doesn't give up"
"The world lays traps, he passes with ease"
"Steals butter and gets what he please"
"His flute is his magic wand"
"The road to the..."
"The road to the riverbank is tough"
"But doesn't listen"
"Kanha doesn't give up"
Yeah, Sugandha. - Mudit,
there's been a big problem.
We lost the marriage venue.
And that idiot swindled all our money.
Mom and dad are having a big fight.
I'll figure something out.
This is for the booking.
Just don't worry about anything.
We'll get married in Haridwar.
"He stops me"
"He accosts me."
"He stalks me on my way to Yamuna"
"Shameless, jobless"
"When he throws a stone my pot breaks"
"Smooth talker, he enchants me"
"He catches me in the net of love"
"He's too quick"
"I request him to go slow"
"But no! Doesn't listen"
Take care. - Bye.
And lock the door.
We'll call once we reach Haridwar.
- Bye sister.
We'll be back in a couple of days.
"I keep it difficult for him but no...
Doesn't listen"
"Kanha doesn't give up"
"I kissed him...
The bike isn't starting.
I think the engine's heated up.
Can I come in?
Phone? - I'll fix it.
Where's the battery? - Don't know.
Here it is.
We cannot be too loud
These are government flats.
What happened? - Tiger Balm.
What happened?
I had onion bread for lunch.
I see... - Do you have chewing gum?
It's strawberry.
Do you have another room?
Is this right? - This is how it's done.
I mean... before marriage...
Well, you did say 'yes' aloud.
- I am not saying no.
You're getting emotional for no reason.
When we go for our honeymoon...
we'll waste time trying
to understand each other.
And, if you feel this is wrong
then I'll leave. - No...
Hold on... - What?
Where's the bathroom?
Wait here, I'll be right back.
"92.7 Big FM."
"My name is Nilesh Mishra."
"And you're listening to 'Memory
lane Idiot Box'on 92.7."
"Today's story is called
"That girl from G-block'."
"Sangeeta Loved Aman."
"But Sangeeta did feel weird
when Aman came over."
"It had been only a couple of minutes
when he sent that text to her."
"I am coming over... is
what he wrote in it."
"But Sangeeta felt like she's
been waiting for ages."
"On the other side, Aman..."
"How's he going to tell
Sangeeta what's on his mind?"
"What if she misunderstands him?"
"He must have drunk over a dozen cold
drink bottles at the local shop..."
"...only to catch a glimpse of her."
"If Sangeeta feels offended today..."
"...will Aman ever dare
to open another bottle?"
"Why is Aman taking so long?
Did something happen to him?"
"There was a noise at the
iron-gate, she was surprised."
"She thought Aman is here."
"But, she was wrong."
"Sangeeta kept waiting, but
Aman went back."
"She could've chased after Aman..."
"...but, she couldn't find her stole."
"There was no activity at the shop either."
"That bottle of cold drink
was left unopened."
What's wrong?
There's a problem. - What?
Nothing, it's a gents problem. - But what?
Like I said, it's a gents problem.
You won't get it.
I am not stupid.
I know.
Know what? - It's common.
Happens with anyone.
You've got a boil, isn't it?
Is it swollen?
You can't even sit straight.
It's not what you think.
Then what's wrong, Mudit.
Tell me.
Do you love me?
What are you saying?
Everything else is fine,
but, we forgot to tell you one thing.
Don't worry... we don't want anything.
We just want you to welcome
the guests with 'Pan Parag'.
Complete the dialogue!
'Pan Parag.'
Ohh, Pan Parag.
We didn't know... - Even
you like Pan Parag.
even you like Pan Parag.
You'll have to excuse me... - Yeah...
But, since the time my son was born...
I always had this desire to
say this 'line' to his in-laws.
Actually, he's got a very jolly nature.
In fact, you should see him
after he's had one peg.
Your wife remembers Shammi sir's
dialogues, but you don't.
That's not the case.
You see, I am a big fan of Shammi sir.
What an amazing guy.
He still looks fantastic at this age.
- No, not anymore.
Why not? - He passed away.
No-no... - Yes.
It's been more than a year or two.
- No-no...
No... it's been almost 8-9 years. - Really?
Strange, nobody told me.
What is this? - It's a holy string.
I think someone's jinxed us.
What do you mean? We've just met!
What do you think?
Do you think I believe in these things?
Shall we try again?
Mudit... please don't do this.
You can't be so formal.
We'll have to do it someday.
Practice makes a man perfect
With practice you can overcome
even the most impossible task.
Oo.. love birds!
You see that roof...
I'll get it extended.
These yellow flowers are my favorite.
- And attach a toilet to it.
If you extend the roof, then...
where will your wife dry the clothes?
You don't worry...
Children these days hate to see
undergarments hanging in the open.
So this will be the dry area.
Full technology.
Pulley system.
Pulley down, underwear up.
No one's watching.
Pulley up, underwear down.
It's dry, wear them.
That's really nice.
Did you talk to your mom?
Fine, what about your father?
Tyagi? Duggal?
You must have talked to someone, Mudit?
Am I becoming a father that I
go around telling everyone?
Don't create a scene out here.
I'll fix my problem.
I just wasn't in the mood...
The place wasn't right, I guess....
What? - I said, the place wasn't right.
What the f...
Sorry. Sorry...
How many times are you going to say sorry?
How many times are you going to say sorry?
Today it's the place.
Tomorrow you'll say the problem is with me.
Fantastic, Mudit. - Brother,
is there a problem?
Mind your own business, you bloody...
I'll make you fool!
Sorry... - When you finally
solve your problem...
Are you listening?
Then you can text me, okay?
And by the way, Yours is
a pathetic neighborhood.
Pull... Pull..Pull.
Bless you, dear.
Bless you.
Yes go.
What is your problem if the
wedding happens in Haridwar?
Destination weddings are the new trend.
We'll have fewer wedding guests.
And those who attend the wedding,
can take a holy dip in the Ganges.
I don't want any favours from my brother.
This is not a favour.
Didn't their son Golu come
over for his entrance exams?
I even washed his dirty clothes.
And, even we have a right
to that family house.
Mom, please let me watch TV.
"Yes Mummy"
He only scored 40 marks in Maths,
and busy watching television.
Someone give him a tight slap. - So what?
What did I achieve by scoring 70, mom?
We don't have a parking space outside...
but, I still remember
the Pythagoras theorem.
I haven't got a single
promotion at office...
but, I still remember
my Algebra lessons.
Instead of making us
by-heart our lessons...
they should've taught us how
to solve problems in life.
Where's my bloody fruit bar?
Amazing, sister! - Shut up.
Shut up... stupid.
I'll talk to her tonight.
"He then kissed my wet lips."
"Like rain drops falling
on a parched land."
"That night..."
You know Dolly aunty's driver
is always standing downstairs.
Talk softly!
"I still remember that night."
"I was completely overwhelmed..."
"...when his arrow pierced my heart,
which had been lonely for a long time."
I wrote this on my wedding night.
Your father was very gentle.
In fact, he was too gentle. - Yuck, mom.
I don't want to hear your story.
Please, leave.
Ginny will be here any minute.
You'll find a thousand more Ginny's...
But, you've got only one mom!
I'm giving you this lifelong education,
You can't even say 'relation'.
What will you teach me?
How do you say it?
Look, Sugu, you...
You don't understand
what I'm trying to say.
You see, dear...
A woman's body is a secret treasure.
And, it stays in a closed cave.
And, do you know when it opens?
When someone says 'open sesame', mom.
It opens only on the wedding night.
And, it doesn't open for the forty thieves,
only for Ali Baba.
And, what if Ali Baba doesn't
make it to the caves?
Why won't Ali Baba make it to the caves?
He was born to reach the cave.
He will... - Mom.
Ali Baba needs these lessons, not the cave.
Please leave. - But, dear...
Please, go.
Mom, please.
Ginny's here, now please leave.
Look, dear... - Get up.
Ali Baba is... - I said leave.
Hello, aunty... - I said go.
Listen to me, dear. - No!
Why won't Ali Baba make it to the caves?
Look at you...
Your attitude's changed
right before the wedding.
Oh really... you think
my attitude has changed?
Nothing is happening...
And you think my attitude has changed.
Ginny, Mudit's got a big problem? - AIDS?
Are you crazy?
I hope not...
Gent's problem.
And, he told you.
He tried.
But poor guy couldn't tell me.
But, I understood.
And I think he knows that I understood.
What are you trying to say?
How do I explain this to you?
Sorry, guys, I am late.
I had to deliver a mobile.
My father always spoil my plans.
What happened?
Duggal... there's a big problem. - What?
His little bro... - Little bro? Who?
When? - Yesterday.
Where? Ring Road?
Are you crazy?
At sister-in-law's home.
- Sister-in-law's home?
How? - Do I have to tell you everything?
Sorry, man.
Tell me something...
When is the funeral?
Sugu... - Hmmm...
I may never be able to eat
another biscuit all my life.
Ginny... I am fooled here
and, you're wandering off on your own trip.
Plus, Mudit's track is stuck in a loop.
"It's my problem, I'll do this.
It's my problem, I'll do that."
"Me... Me... Me..."
Do you really think you're responsible
for his problem? - I didn't say that.
You don't need your mother's advice.
You need something else. - Ginny...
I'll get it tomorrow. - What?
I'll get it tomorrow!
'Come to me Danny boy'
'I am waiting to do things to you'
'You can't even imagine.'
'Come to me'
Who is she calling? - Must be her husband.
What is her problem?
You know what, let it be.
You're going to end up...
just like Preeto from my neighborhood.
She came back home 2
weeks after her wedding.
Nagging mother-in-law,
arguments with the husband...
It was none of the above.
Do you know what the real reason was?
- What?
Same problem? - How would I know?
I am untouched by hand myself.
You were my last hope.
But, guys these days have lost their plot.
They all look like buffoons...
but fancy about hotties
like Katrina Kaif.
And, curse these beautiful sirens too.
They grind the pole and walk way...
and the pressure is on us.
We middle-class girls have no class at all.
And, if you don't do it...
these guys will turn to someone else.
I don't know, Sugu, you deal with this.
And return the CD, it
belongs to my brother.
How many more of these do you have?
Is this why you wanted a laptop?
How many more of you?
Ginny, next time we'll watch
the CD at your home. - Why?
Yeah... my brother's getting
beaten up because of me.
You watch such dirty pictures.
- Don't worry.
Soon he'll have his own collection.
- Shut up.
Listen, did you give it a thought...
about the beautiful-siren? - No.
Do you want to become a ruffian
when you grow up? - Not yet.
But, you know what...
I am going to buy my wedding
dress with mom. - Hurry up.
Or we'll miss the Metro.
- I'll call you later.
Then, how did I find this CD in your bag?
Teach him a good lesson today.
I am going to break his skull today.
I've made some turmeric milk for him.
Use an antiseptic if he starts to bleed.
First take his laptop away.
The cotton is kept with my nail polishes.
"He called me 'honey' and
jumped to honeymoon."
"While I was planning for January
he was planning for June."
"He has made calculations my beloved!"
"He has such velocity he
rises like a fountain."
"My beloved is a rocket"
Pinky was wearing such a nice dress.
What is this place?
You said we're going to
buy my wedding dress.
L-for 'Lehenga' (Dress), L-for Lingerie.
And, you're going to wear
the dress for only one day.
This is the real deal.
Come on. - No.
What are you doing? - No, mom.
Come on. - Mom...
Don't be so rude.
I've told you a dozen times don't do it.
Mister... - Madam... madam.
Hello, madam.
So, what can I do for you?
New stock for nightwear has just arrived.
Well, I am not looking For
anything for myself today.
This is my daughter.
She's getting married.
Ohhh, congratulations.
What can I show you, dear? - Hello.
We've one of the best collection.
Like Baby Doll collection,
Animal Collection, Lace too.
Well, her size is 34B. - Yeah...
"I'll turn the world upside down for you."
"You don't take any tension."
"For you only, my love
is all of my attention."
"I'll turn the world upside down for you."
"You don't take any tension."
"For you only, my love
is all of my attention."
"Baby, don't judge the length of the wire"
"Feel the current of my heart's fire."
"When he talks, he spits roses my beloved!"
"He has such velocity he
rises like a fountain."
My beloved is a rocket"
Gauranteed treatment!
Wet dreams, Hypnotism,
honeymoon counselling,
Premature ejaculations and all other
such problems are cured by us!
Bangali baba assured gauranteed treatment.
Bangali baba.
He can't even stand straight
himself, how will he...
"Beloved beloved"
"Beloved beloved"
"Beloved beloved"
"Beloved beloved"
Now that's a real man!
He makes them fool!
"My beloved is a rocket"
"Beloved beloved beloved beloved"
"My beloved is a rocket"
"My beloved is a rocket"
"Beloved beloved beloved beloved"
"My beloved is a rocket" - Listen...
I've got some plums.
I hope these are enough. - Yeah.
Is he coming? - Yes.
See you... - Let's go, brother.
Okay... - Bye.
How did you suddenly think
about going for a picnic?
Awesome speakers.
How much did you pay for it? - 2000.
You've been duped.
Why didn't you tell me?
I would've got it for cheaper.
Have you been answering my calls?
"You've been duped."
Men are dogs.
They only know how to mark their area.
You were chasing me.
And, once I said yes...
- That's not it, Sugu...
Don't you have another song?
What happened? - It's sour.
Then, why are you eating them?
- Stay back...
What... what...
Zip it up, please.
Come to me, Danny boy!
I am waiting for you, Danny boy!
I am waiting to do things to you.
You can't even imagine...
Come to me.
Brother, just drop her to
the Modi Garden bridge
Okay, get in.
You know what, Mudit...
we won't have relation.
There's life without relation as well.
We'll try different things.
Like we'll go out... we'll go sight-seeing.
We'll try Yoga, Mudit.
I am being negative again.
You'll get better, won't you?
Isn't it?
And anyway, we'll be going
to Haridwar tomorrow.
And, you will arrive
with the wedding-guests.
Please take her...
And drive carefully. - Yes.
Dance, uncle... dance...
Ravinder. - Yes, uncle.
How much Frooti are we supposed to drink?
Please don't complain.
Just a minute, uncle.
Children are dancing outside,
How can we ask them to stop?
Move.. get out of the way!
It's my brother's wedding...
Listen, Gannu - Yeah.
Are they dancing, or have
they been possessed?
They are just having fun.
Why don't you dance too? - What dance?
Where is Mudit? - Mudit
hasn't returned yet.
Shouldn't you be on the bus
along with the wedding guests?
Yeah... I... wanted to talk to you.
I've lied to my parents, Mudit.
We must reach Haridwar before evening.
Uncle has arranged for
a big prayer ceremony.
The wedding guests must attend it too.
- Hmmm... the wedding guest?
Sugu, this tensed face
doesn't suit you at all.
And, when the reason is me.
This is a genuine problem...
I can't solve it.
I can't get better.
So I thought... let's cancel the wedding.
I won't be able to keep you happy.
Order some coffee.
Shake a leg, fatso. - What happened?
Do you want this wedding
to take place without him?
Let's first ask Mudit whether
he wants to get married or not.
Tell me, uncle, doesn't a father
have a right to hit his kid?
Calm down, son. Calm down.
- What calm down?
That fool is taking revenge on his father.
Where is he, I...
Bro, shall we down one each...
Sir, two cappuccinos.
But, I don't want the cappuccino.
Did you ask about my decision
before placing your order?
Take it away. - No, mister, stay here.
He might have made up his mind, but
I am still thinking.
First, you stalked me...
then, you sent an online proposal.
And now you're thinking about
canceling the wedding, Mudit.
Is this a video game? - Please leave...
I said wait!
Stop it! I said stop it!
Stop it.
Hey you...
Try playing now.
Stop it.
Where is Mudit?
What does Mudit think?
This wedding will get canceled without him?
This procession will leave...
and we'll all go without Mudit.
Come on, everyone get on the bus.
What if you were facing the
same problem after the wedding?
What if I had a problem
after the wedding...
would you have run away?
One black coffee, one cold coffee,
one lemon tea, one green tea...
Get everything on the menu, and get lost.
Clear this out.
Get out.
Marrying you was my first decision
which I took independently.
I'll go to Haridwar and wait
for your procession to arrive.
Dance... Bro..
Mudit. Hello...
You guys get on, I'll board the
bus at the Ring Road signal.
The wedding procession is leaving,
let's go, fatso.
Hurry up.
Come on, hold my hand. Hurry up.
Stop the bus.
Stop the bus.
Stop the bus.
Mudit's back. - Hello.
Mudit's back.
Mudit come.
Where were you?
O benevolent Goddess...
We're going to shoot
Sugandha's wedding video.
Bless us with Your grace.
I am sure this video will take me places.
Hail, Goddess!
Stop stop stop. - Hello.
Bring some water.
Brother! - Yes, brother.
What took you so long?
The veneration has started. - So what?
Look, I spared no expenses.
- Brother, we just got here.
Let's not talk about expenses now.
Sugu's been crying throughout the journey.
She just stopped.
What happened?
I'll be back in a minute.
Turn it up.
Are you okay?
Dear - Sugu.
Hey Sugu...
I'm noticing. - What?
I'm noticing everything. - What happened?
No one touched my feet. - I...
Bro, she had to use the washroom urgently.
We didn't stop anywhere for two hours.
Will you forget your values for a washroom?
Do you know how much I
spent on these lights?
Wait a minute, brother.
This is one's from me,
this one from Sugu...
and this one's from Vimla.
One for me as well, papa...
I can't stop playing.
Hail Goddess...
Reminds me of our father. - Oh, brother.
It's alright.
Don't forget to give him a beating.
It will make our father happy.
Hail Goddess...
One... two... three... Start!
"My mother went up the hill"
"Riding on a tiger"
"Calling all her kids"
"People here are aplenty"
"Coming from far lands"
"She's greeting all of them"
"She blesses"
"She gives sweets"
"To whoever is a true follower"
"Oh mother, in your blessing"
"Is the strength"
"Oh mother, in your blessing"
"Is the strength"
"She speaks so sweetly"
"that even when she orders tomatoes"
"it feels like she's reciting poetries."
"Her eyes are so pretty"
"that whenever our eyes meet"
"I lose control of my sight and thoughts."
"As soon as the love arose"
"a dagger went through my chest"
"My heart got funked."
"When dust settled"
"my dreams shattered"
"My heart got funked."
"Got fooled so bad"
"my emotions turned into juice."
"Decorated my house with lights"
"but connection was loose."
Who is this?
This is your well-wisher speaking.
I know all about your 'gents' problem.
Stop calling me and bothering me. - Mudit.
I'll beat you to a pulp, understand.
- Mudit.
My mom's close-by, otherwise
I would've abused you.
"Roads have such potholes"
"fractured my heart's bones."
"My heart got funked."
Are you going to kiss me too?
Stop it.
What are you doing?
That's the driver.
You can't just kiss anyone.
- He's still a human being.
Where is son-in-law? - Where's the groom?
Sugandha, did the groom run away?
- He'll be here.
Won't he?
Come on, let's go down and take a look.
- Yes, come on.
Sugu, he's here.
Yes come come...
One dance, sir.
We'll get a shot of the groom's entrance.
Sir, one dance. - Get off.
I don't want to dance.
Shoo... no need to light the crackers.
This way, son.
Hello, uncle.
Hello. - Hello, uncle.
Hello. - Hello, uncle.
Hello, father. - Bless you, son-in-law.
It's alright.
It's okay.
Shall we get on with the veneration then?
- No...
Hello, uncle. - Bless you, son.
Come, my boy.
Take the blessings.
He's trying to kiss him as well.
What kind of a man... - No welcome..
See... he's showing his
true colors already.
I wish he hadn't shown
up in the first place.
Why the long face?
Were you planning on not showing up?
I am right here...
In flesh...
I had to sit on the roof of the bus.
And, why?
For your uncle's kiss? - You
think you did me a favour?
There would've been bloodshed in Delhi...
if the groom refuses to
marry on the wedding day.
You should be thankful that I
am not like one of them...
otherwise, you would be
featured on Crime Patrol...
and not our wedding video.
What do you want?
Should I keep waiting for my Prince
Charming for the rest of my life?
Believe me, I tried, Mudit?
But no one ever noticed me in
front of those M-Block girls.
You're the first guy who liked me,
who chose me. - Thank you.
It's not a compliment, you
don't have to say thank you.
Mudit... you even fought with a bear
only to strike a conversation with me.
Thank you.
Don't let your 'gents' problem
be another bear in your life.
You're the compliment which life gave me.
Even you're the compliment
which life gave me.
Then smile, Mudit...
Laugh... we're getting married.
Eventually... everything's going
to change after the wedding.
First, we'll have kids, next
I'll have to quit my job.
The vegetable-seller will remember
which dress I wore on which day.
No more goals in life.
But, the next three days...
Our wedding...
It will be the highlight
of our life, Mudit.
Hello. - This is your well-wisher speaking.
Once I find this guy, I
will teach him a lesson...
Who is it? - Don't know.
Someone's been calling me since last night.
Says I am your well-wisher.
I know all about your gents problem.
Etcetera. Etcetera. -
Who did you tell, Mudit?
I am not crazy to tell anyone.
Give it. - Why... why...
Why do you want to talk to him?
Are you crazy?
Don't you understand, Hindi?
I am your well-wisher.
I know all about your gents problem.
Idiot, fool.
I am a Delhi-girl.
You are lucky, my fiance's right here...
and this can ruin my
reputation, otherwise...
I would've abused you till you are here!
If you call back again,
I'll slap you so hard...
that your children will be born bald.
Bloody pest... now, hang up!
Sugu, I already have two children.
And, they both have hair.
Papa... - Oh!
I was only thinking about
your well-being...
so that even you can have
children in the future.
I've even thought of names
for my grandchildren.
But son-in-law problem
has baffled everyone.
Papa, how do you know?
When the daughter is tensed for
weeks, comes home crying...
then her father is forced
to check her whatsapp.
Can you check whatsapp?
I even have an account on FB(Facebook),
but I forgot my password.
I can't remember whether
it was Glory to Goddess...
or Goddess, glory to You.
I think it was Goddess glory to You.
Doesn't matter...
Give the phone to son-in-law.
How did papa find out?
All thanks to Digital India.
Greetings, Papa. - Forget the formalities.
And fix the 'little' problem that you have.
That's no way to talk to
our future son-in-law.
Future son-in-law, he's
not our son-in-law yet.
And listen, whenever you're
free in the morning...
meet me at the city square, alone.
You'll see many cows grazing out there.
And, there will be a
brown cow amongst them.
Wait for me there.
I'll come see you.
Now hang up.
Promise me. - What are you doing?
You'll help Ali Baba get to the cave.
You just messed things up.
Why don't you give a special mention
about my problem on the wedding cards?
What just happened?
Someday everyone would've found
out about your problem, Mudit.
And anyway, you're not doing
anything about your problem.
What do I do?
What should I do?
Can you imagine the
pressure on my shoulders?
The entire family iss dancing on my head.
How's daughter-in-law?
How much does she earn?
Does she earn more than you?
How much gold is she bringing along?
How do I explain it to them?
What do I do to make them happy?
Forget them... Let's forget
about them for a minute.
Let's talk about you.
What do I do to make you happy?
- I want to be your wife...
not the duty in your life. Okay.
If you really cared about me so much...
then, you would've never
made such a cold entrance.
Is this how a wedding procession arrives?
Answer me.
I won't dance...
I won't get my picture taken.
You didn't let uncle kiss you either.
Why does he kiss everyone?
Even I have relatives.
I have the same pressure on my shoulders.
Everyone's been bothering me as well.
When is brother-in-law arriving?
Where is brother-in-law?
Brother-in-law this...
- Brother-in-law that...
And how did brother-in-law
make an entry?...
Like a loser...
Mudit, where are you going?
Where are you going?
Wake up...
Wake up, everyone.
The bride's family is giving
single room to couples with kids.
10 rooms are available.
On a first come, first serve basis.
Come on, uncle... wake up.
Go on...
Get on the bus.
Wake up, quickly.
We're going on the bus.
Wake up.
The world's coming to an end.
Come on.
Uncle, you're the last man standing.
Uncle, are you taking a shower?
- Yes, why?
Don't get scared if you see a
snake inside. - Come out...
Snake. Snake... - There's a snake in here.
Come on.
Uncle, hurry up.
Is there a towel inside?
What were you thinking off
at this hour... Shut up.
Where are you taking us at this hour?
It's my son's wedding...
I'll give the orders around here.
Not you guys, you bloody...
What the...
Have you ever see a peacock dance
in the jungle? - No, I haven't.
Then see for yourself.
Father, brown cow.
That's a bull, not a cow.
He can't even tell the gender...
Who cares whether it's a cow or a bull...
why are we going in the first place?
I know the benefits of cow's urine.
But I won't drink it now.
You can get it packed, I'll
drink it after the wedding.
Okay, father. - Stop calling me father.
You two aren't married yet.
Father... Father... he is so annoying.
This doctor is of brother's acquaintance.
- You're embarrassing me.
Be quiet.
Eyebrow... did I tell you
to give her a makeup?
I said eye-drops.
Mr. Joshi. - Yes... yes... that's me.
Come in. - Yes...
Come on.
But he's a Vet. - Quiet.
Just do as I say. Come on.
What happened? - Nothing.
Come on.
Yes... so tell me.
Tell me... - Actually, he has a problem.
I see.
Actually, it's one of those problems.
Do you understand? - No... absolutely not.
You see, doctor, if we could
get a character certificate...
along with online proposals,
then we would've known.
But... - What do you mean?
I was trying to say that...
- Can I... I tell him?
Yes, you... - I'll tell you
from the beginning, doctor.
His daughter and I are
getting married in two days.
Understand? - No...
Actually, I belong from Delhi NCR...
- I see... now, I get it.
I get it.
You see, mom and dad were
out of town one day.
So his daughter I got a little too close.
I mean physical... - Physical...
You should be ashamed! - I
swear I felt ashamed.
But how much shame can
you feel when you're 26?
Right. - I mean... why feel ashamed?
So that happened... I
mean, it didn't happen.
Nothing happened.
As soon as I touched her daughter...
How dare you touch her before the wedding?
She touched me too.
Look at the mark.
Our love isn't one-sided.
Mom gave her a fresh 500
rupees note at the engagement!
Not me, she gave it to Sugandha's mother.
So, you'll bring me to a vet? - Excuse me.
A man is also a social animal.
Please take him outside. - What is he...
Please go out, I'll talk to him.
- I'm as old as his father.
Look at the way he's talking.
I'll talk to him.
Please wait outside. - Hold on.
Talking won't help him.
Give him a pill or something. - Okay-okay.
You're my last hope. - Wait outside.
Come on... wait outside. - Doctor...
give him a really strong pill.
So... where were we? - So doctor, I...
I was saying that...
Don't lie to the doctor.
How can I cure this, doctor? - No-no...
You are not sick.
This is due to stress.
Do you understand stress?
Performance Anxiety.
You see, a man's brain
is like a wedding-horse.
Until the wedding guests don't
dance, the horse won't move forward.
You see when you fail to perform...
and you try to do it again, you
think about the same thing. - Yeah.
And, you don't take the test
again from the fear of failing.
What's happening is... the horse
is waiting for the procession...
and the procession is
waiting for the horse.
This movement is not happening...
You know..
So... what do I do? - You're Making
a big deal out of a small issue.
That's exactly what I can't do, doctor.
Forget everything, and relax.
I am getting married in three
days, and you're saying relax.
You're here with your family, aren't you?
But doctor... - Yeah...
How about a pill? - Why of course?
I do have pills.
You know what, keep these.
Here you go.
Orange toffee?
You have three days...
Fix your problem.
If you can't fix it...
then, I won't hesitate
to call off the wedding.
You can go ahead and try, father-in-law.
I'll elope with your daughter.
Sugu, take my advice...
you still have time.
Run away, dear.
Where's the bride?
Let us meet her too. - I
am your father after all.
And Vimla, you're a drama-queen.
Yell out loud saying "My
daughter ran away"!
Run away... - Have you lost your mind?
Aunt, this is nothing new.
Anupam Kher said the same thing to Pooja
Bhatt in 'Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahi'.
See... - See what?
See what, papa?
Doesn't my choice matter at all?
Papa, I want you to be like
Amrish Puri in DDLJ...
and you're going on
your own trip instead.
People are doubting your manhood.
And, I find out about this now.
You could've told me before
telling your father-in-law.
You never have time for me.
All day you're at your shop.
And in the evening, you need
your drink and Sunny Leone.
Deol... Sunny Deol.
I watch Sunny Deol films, not Sunny Leone.
Stop yelling at him.
Try to understand, Sugu.
Will you be able to endure your
father and mother-in-law's taunts?
I will...
It's my life, I'll do
whatever has to be done.
But I will only marry Mudit, okay.
My dear, joint families are a class apart.
Take me for instance.
I've been enduring since I left Haridwar.
But you're still alive, aren't you?
You're happy. - And what
about your happiness?
You see, dear, the society has
already set all the rules.
He's a man, she's a woman...
If anything goes wrong tomorrow...
they are not going to spare you.
And, what if the guy
loses his mind tomorrow.
Then your world will come
crashing down, dear.
Don't say anything about Mudit, papa.
I told him a dozen times, but no...
My own son turned out to be impotent.
There's nothing wrong with my son.
I am sure something's wrong
with their daughter.
I see...
How can you be so sure?
I am his mother.
I know everything.
Only I know how hard I had
to scrub his underwear.
So that's that then.
Your mother has spoken.
Now I'll turn you into a man.
If anyone points fingers at you,
I will yank his tongue out.
Even if it's your father-in-law.
This is my wedding...
I'll deal with it, you're
not going to interfere.
Why did you have to talk to him like that?
He's pointing finger at me
What's going on here?
There are dozens of people who
haven't eaten, the food's over.
Is this a joke?
And where are the kidney beans?
You were making kidney beans, weren't you?
Where are the kidney beans?
Can't you tell the difference
between lentil and kidney beans?
Are you blind? - What's wrong, uncle?
There are at least two dozen
people who haven't eaten...
and the food's already over.
What happened? - What's he going to say?
Let him speak. - Even you
are yelling at me, Mudit.
Can't you see that there's
no more food left, and...
So creating a scene.
The food's over and these
people haven't eaten yet.
Where's your cook? - The cook.
Where's the cook? - This is the limit.
Sugu... - You've really embarrassed us...
and we can't face anyone now.
He's going to kill the cook.
What's he doing?
Golu, get the jar of cauliflower pickles.
Is he our son or a cook?
Where is she going now?
Uncle was making a scene
because there was no food.
It's alright.
This is not done. - See,
her mother's smiling.
Then you smile back. - I won't...
Are you learning to cook?
- Learning to love you.
Will you forget after the wedding...
I mean loving me?
I'll learn how to cook.
The potatoes have turned into French fries.
Oh, sorry.
Where are the onions? - Onions?
We don't eat onions and garlic.
But we cook onions also with onions.
So, what now?
What will we do after the wedding?
We don't even touch.
Even we don't touch the
girl before the wedding.
But we did.
Brother... - What?
The lentil's ready.
We need to serve everyone.
She turned my son into a cook.
Son, you're the groom. - Please stay quiet.
I am not talking to you.
I am talking to my son.
Do you really think we
don't understand anything?
Even the son-in-law has certain duties.
Hold on... wait a minute.
The pre-wedding photo and video session...
will begin tomorrow morning at 9.
So, I would request the
bride and groom's family...
to take part in this event.
Thank you.
45, 50...
Back again.
Once more.
"Even if the world threatens me to death"
"I'll still win."
"Not a pebble can ever come"
"between you and me."
"If you're there"
"holding my hands"
"I'll take care of society"
"I'll take care of necessities."
"Although my dreams are small-budget"
"My love for you is priceless."
One two three start.
"Not a pebble can ever come"
"Between you and me."
"I don't expect you to be"
"great as Lord Rama or crazy as Ranjha."
"That much is enough for me"
"As much we share between us."
"Small all big all your
dreams are mine now."
"For the dreams that I had
are already accomplished."
"If you'll be there"
"holding my hands"
"what will be left for me to ask from god"
"everything I wished for will be mine."
"But if my heart ever falters"
"please be there to break its fall."
"Not a pebble can ever come"
"Between you and me."
"Our bride is too fancy"
- Listen Sugu, the wedding is tomorrow.
Mudit, I have an idea. - What?
Where are they going?
They just went inside and locked the doors.
Well, they couldn't have
done it in the open?
Brother. - Yes, brother.
What is all this?
There's a limit to everything.
Why are you guys getting so furious?
The wedding is tomorrow.
One day doesn't make a difference.
Whether they do it today or tomorrow?
Does this look nice before the wedding?
I am sure it does, I don't know.
Right, sister-in-law?
Don't look at me.
What do I know?
Look there.
Wait, brother.
What if they still don't find a solution?
Oh, God!
I'll go ask the priest.
Why do you always involve
the priest in everything?
Keep pouring it. - He'll do it.
He'll do it.
Even his father will do it.
I mean...
He still does it... sometimes.
What about you? - How much did you bet?
He's going to do it.
Uncle bets 500...
Says, it's not his cup of tea.
Uncle. - I said the same thing.
I bet 600...
The priest was saying we must pour
the ghee when we say 'swaha'.
And we must do it 100 times.
It doesn't take that long, aunty.
It's quicker nowadays. - Be quiet.
Go on...
Brother. - Yes.
I've made two menu options.
If he does it, we'll serve Dal Makhni.
Ohhh man...
If he doesn't, we'll serve normal lentils.
Whether this wedding takes place
or not, people are going to eat.
Can you please wait, brother?
- You do understand, don't you?
Why are you crying?
Everyone's watching you.
Why are you crying?
Be quiet.
Can't help it if I feel like crying.
A father can be ruthless,
but not the mother.
Where... what...
He was only this big... when
the doctors handed him to me.
Sister, even Sugandha was the same size.
Tell me... will they do it?
Sister... I tried to keep the
blouse as low as I could.
But, the rest is up to them.
They will do it.
My little boy. - He's my son!
Nothing about him is 'little'.
What are you giggling about?
You think it's funny? - Hold on.
You're being funny, aren't you?
Had you imbibed some values in him,
he wouldn't have publicly
held my daughter's hand...
and taken her inside the room. - Oh...
It wasn't my son.
It was your daughter. - No...
Don't you dare...
She dragged my son inside...
What happened?
Did you do it?
Save that for later...
Tell me.
Come on, pay up.
Brother, pardon me for my mistakes.
How was it?
It didn't happen.
It didn't happen.
Aunty... - Huh?
It didn't happen. - Huh!
Didn't happen.
Didn't happen. - Stop the music!
Stop it...
But we did it. - No, we didn't Mudit.
We did it so well. - No, we didn't.
But we did it. - Wouldn't I know?
Fine, how can you say we didn't do it?
We did it so well. - Come here.
Is anyone going to say something?
Did they do it or not?
Did I win or lose?
I told you, this man is good for nothing.
This man... I am telling you,
his son isn't the right guy.
Try to understand.
Why shouldn't I? she's my daughter.
Mudit's problem has no solution.
There is one way. - What?
The only way.
Bless you, son.
She's asleep again.
My child, wake up.
See... you'll be marrying the banana tree.
Mudit's parents are here.
The priest is here.
Everyone's waiting.
Come, dear. - Be quiet.
Didn't I warn you about this?
These guys will never admit
something's wrong with their son.
Look at this, they threw
your birth chart on my face.
They were saying there's
a flaw in her planets.
There's a hurdle in having kids
after the marriage. see...
So why are you creating hurdles now?
They even told us about the solution.
Get her married to a banana tree,
and everything will be fine.
What? - Sugu...
Sugu... there's still time.
Here you go.
Here you go, son.
Take this... and run.
Run away. - Stop telling her to run away.
What's the problem if she
marries a banana tree?
She's not marrying a cactus.
Come, dear. - No!
Sugu... these people can
stoop to any level.
They can do anything, Sugu.
Run away, dear. Come on.
Take this. Take it...
- Where are you going?
I don't care what the rest think.
I just care about what Mudit thinks!
Sugu... - Sugu.
Come here.
You're going to see your would-be husband.
You shouldn't go empty-handed.
Take this cup of tea.
Are you all mad?
She forgot her stole. - Sugu,
take this too. - Sugu...
I thought I was so positive.
Shall we try again?
Neha, what are you doing here?
Same thing... you couldn't
do with Sugandha.
What couldn't I do with her?
It's time for us to be one, Mudu...
- Stop this nonsense.
Tyagi and Duggal told me everything.
If I find them, I'll turn them into a pulp.
Go back to sleep, Montu.
I knew it from the other day when I
met you at the engagement. - What?
There's definitely some
problem between you and her.
You two don't look like a couple at all.
- What are you saying?
You know... after you left,
I had two breakups myself.
So, what should I do? - Do
you know what that means?
What? - It's a sign.
We're made for each other.
I know what your problem is...
and so do you. - What?
Did you have a problem when
you were with me? - No.
We spent so much time together. - Yes.
Did we ever go out? - No.
Did you ever take me to Buddha Garden?
- No.
We used to stay inside the room all day.
- Yeah...
Did we have a problem?
No, right?
Isn't it?
My life's already in a mess.
Let me go.
I really love Sugu.
Just look at that!
His father's waiting
with the banana tree...
while he's trying out
different positions.
See, dear... see...
Hey sugu.
Get up.
How can anyone be such a lowlife, Vimla?
Where are you going?
Who is the girl? - We should
clobber him with a shoe.
You're mistaken.
No, we're not...
You just messed with the wrong family.
These online types are
just like that, aunty.
I thought you are Alibaba
but you're a thief.
Let me go. Sugandha. - You
won't go after her.
She's dead for you.
- Sugu will tell me that.
Someone stop that pervert.
Take some really nice pictures. - Yes...
Come, daughter-in-law...
See... we even found a banana tree.
How can you leave without
covering yourself?
Where are you going?
Move. - Curse you.
Sugu... - Someone catch him.
Your idea didn't work. - It was your idea.
Get lost.
She should've at least covered herself.
She's gone. - Wait.
Sugandha. Sugandha.
We'll get daughter-in-law
married to the banana tree...
so solve the flaws in her birth-chart.
See... here's the tree.
- Stop this nonsense, papa.
She's gone.
She didn't go anywhere, son.
She just went out for a
stroll, she will be back.
She didn't go anywhere, son.
If we don't complete this
ritual, you won't have kids.
She didn't go out for a
stroll, she left me for good.
Don't you get it?
She will come back. - The ritual is
still incomplete, how can she leave.
With your rituals.
Tell me something, are
you on my side or hers?
I am on Sugandha's side. - Wait...
I am on Sugandha's side.
I am on Sugandha's side.
- Then listen carefully.
Sugandha will have to
marry this banana tree.
Move aside, let me go.
Forget the banana tree, Sugu
won't even marry your son.
Why not? - No, she won't.
What are you saying?
We traveled so far... spent all that money.
What about that? - Let's
not talk about expenses.
I have an account for every penny.
Get my glasses.
If we go back empty-handed,
it will be an insult to us.
He's insulted us!
He's insulted us!
Get that out of my way.
We won't go back empty-handed.
We'll take Sugandha back
as our daughter-in-law.
Bring Sugandha here.
Sugu won't marry him! - She will.
No, she won't. - Yes, she will.
No, she won't. - Yes, she will.
You and your banana tree!
I've been trying to tell
you Sugandha is gone.
But who listens to me...
Listen, fathers... what do you want?
Marry this banana tree...
Here you go...
What kind of a son is he?
Who performs the rituals?
Who performs the rituals? - The girl...
Who performs the rituals?
- The boy can too.
Then do it...
What's he doing?
Chant the mantras.
(priest chanting)
Offer this flower.
The problem is with me, your son.
Why will she marry a banana tree?
I will...
I am sitting right here,
let's see who can budge me.
Take the nuptial rounds.
And you...
I thought I'll talk to you.
I'll talk to you once you calm down.
But you're a big loud mouth.
Your volume doesn't seem to come down.
Where's the daughter-in-law's stole?
What do you care about her stole?
Irritating me with your
talks about manhood.
His daughter is turning me into a man.
She is trying.
Whatever confidence I've left,
is all because of his daughter.
Are the nuptial rounds complete?
- Yes, it is.
Who is going to tell me? - Me.
Join your hands?
If you have some cash...
Doesn't matter if you don't.
- Someone give him a 100.
Where's my purse? - Do you have it?
Here you go, priest.
And you.
I am talking to you.
I've been trying to tackle this
problem for the last 6 months.
It'll come out somewhere.
And please don't give me
a character certificate.
Look at yourselves, people!
Take the blessings. - Whose?
Your parents.
Actually, it's not necessary.
They are not worthy of giving blessings.
If you bend before them, they kick you.
A real man is not someone
who doesn't feel pain.
A real man is someone who
doesn't hurt anyone...
and stops others from doing the same.
Are we done? Okay?
Or, would you like to drive
a truck over my head?
I love her...
Every time I see her name with
mine on the wedding card...
it makes me really happy.
She's sad and left me.
Can I go win back the one I love?
Or, do I need your permission?
If you go with that girl, then don't
come back home. - What the...
And, don't expect any money from me either.
I don't want your money.
Here's my purse.
Just return my license.
I got it made myself from the RTO.
Why are you hitting me?
Every year we show you the arrangements...
of the 'ArdhKumbhMela' on
this holy land of Haridwar.
But this time, we suddenly
ran into a personality...
who will add to the
glory of this report.
And that's Bollywood star Jimmy Shergill.
Hello... Hello...
Move... mister... move, please.
Madam... please...
Let me go.
Welcome sir.
So, what brings you here?
Well, out here we're shooting
an ad on family planning.
For a condom. - I see... so you're
here to shoot an ad for this 'condom'.
Condom. - 'Condom'.
Well, the name doesn't matter...
It is important that you use it.
Listen brother, Sister.
Let me go.
Where are you going?
Let him through. - He's calling.
Sir, my future wife is
in the temple up there.
I guess she took this path.
- What happened?
Did she run away? - No, sir,
it's just a misunderstanding.
I just need to talk to her, and
I'll explain her everything.
Honestly... - I can understand your pain.
But, I hope it's not one of
those 'acid-attack' cases.
It's true love, sir.
That's good.
But, if she says no...
you must come back the way you're going.
And, if she loves you too...
then you must convince her at any cost.
Now go. - Thank you.
Let him through.
Aunty, please step aside.
Open it up.
Sugu. - Mudit!
Sugu! - Mudit!
He jumped...
What are you doing?
Mudit. Mudit. Are you crazy? - Sugu.
What are you doing?
Stop this thing.
Hey there.
That's the image of
today's common Indian man
Educated... Decent guy...
Lift me up. - No!
This is normally how we see this creature.
Dangling between two realities!
I will fall down.
You should fall down. You
should definitely fall down.
After this stupidity, you should fall down.
No gents, no gents problem.
Fall down I say.
Even this man is under the pressure of the
patriarchal society, like any other being.
Why did you jump?
I want to talk to you.
- So? I was coming down.
As a brother, husband, or just
another guy, he's lost in anonymity.
I am not wrong this time, Sugu.
If I was wrong, I wouldn't have jumped.
He needs a support, a strong arm...
which can pull him
in the right direction.
I just need two minutes.
Leaving him dangling like that...
will be the biggest
tragedy of our society.
Lift me up.
The sweat's making my hands slippery...
I will fall down.
Sugu... - Give me your hands.
In this battle for better-half...
two halves will have
to make one complete.
He's saved.
He's saved.
Sugu... sorry...
Stay back.
I said stay back.
How many times will I have to plead?
I was going to die apologising.
Come on...
'We ran... fought with our family.'
'We didn't have a bike... or a bag.'
'But we did have that promise
of everlasting love.
'I am sure our fathers abused
and cussed us in their minds.'
'And, our mothers didn't slip
into depression either.'
'No one remembered how we got married?'
'Actually, if you have
the right partner...'
'...then, it doesn't matter if you
have a grand wedding or not.'
'Well, this story finally came to an end.'
'But, the climax you all
are waiting for...'
'That didn't happen on
our wedding night...'
'...nor on our honeymoon in Goa.'
'And nor after we came back.'
'Office, home, vegetables,
relatives... TV.'
'Wet underwear up... dry underwear down.'
'We even went to see a doctor.'
It's not as hard as you think Mrs. Sharma.
You can ask anything if you want.
What was I saying to you?
And then, one day...
Glory to Lord...
Give it.
Pass it on to everyone, dear.
Me too, dear.
Give it to your father as well.
Here you go.
Sugu. - What?
Go to the kitchen.
I'll be right back, mom.
Speak up.
You think it's funny...