Side Effects May Vary (2024) Movie Script
1
Subject 37 is a Caucasian male,
27 years old, average
height and stocky build.
No known health ailments.
Blood pressure, 97 over 50.
Temp is 97.8.
Turn your head to the
right a little bit, please.
This may sting a bit.
So how do you feel?
Great.
Great, honestly. I
feel better than
I have in years.
In fact...
Grab a mop,
and my smokes.
Let's prep for Subject 38.
The mystery virus started here,
in the city of Wuhan.
Dozens have been infected
but experts here
believe the actual figure
is closer to 1,700 cases.
Once there
was one, two, and then three
confirmed exported
cases internationally
then we asked the question,
is that consistent with
the very low numbers
currently being reported?
The virus broke
out in Wuhan at the end of
December,
but it's also since been
detected in Thailand and Japan.
And while the Chinese government
says it's spreading from animal
to humans,
scientists here say
human-to-human transmission
can't be ruled out.
Side effects may vary.
Across China,
disturbing videos on social
media
appear to show the extreme
measures taken to control the
outbreak.
Experts believe this is a
new kind of coronavirus,
but they don't have a clear view
of the clinical picture just
yet.
The number
of cases soaring just today,
more than 24,000 now nationwide.
New Jersey today becoming
the sixth state to close
all non-essential businesses,
more than 80 million Americans
now told to stay at home.
Store shelves
nationwide are dwindling
or totally empty.
We're asking
everyone to work at home if
possible,
postpone unnecessary travel
and limit social gatherings
to no more than 10 people.
What's to
blame for this horrid behavior?
First, stress.
The American Psychological
Association says
our stress is through the roof.
The number of
confirmed cases is going up here
by
about 5,000
every... single... day.
All vaccines
have some side effects.
Usually the side
effects are mild,
like pain or redness
or tenderness
or even some swelling at the
site where the shot is given.
Let's be clear.
Vaccines can save lives.
There's no question about that.
But also, all vaccines
have side effects.
Side effects may vary.
Side effects may vary.
Side effects may vary.
Hi, Janelle!
How are you today?
Everything's good, Ms. Jackson.
How are you?
Oh fine, fine.
Just getting home from work?
Yep, the daily grind.
How's that husband of yours?
Oh, Glenn? He's actually
pretty sick right now.
Oh, goodness.
That must be why I haven't been
able to watch you two for a bit.
Excuse me?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, I meant, I haven't
seen you two in a while.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's
because he's resting up.
That poor thing.
How long's he been sick?
I'd say for a couple of weeks.
I keep trying to get
him to take the test,
but he just won't.
Goodness, that's awful.
Did he get the vaccine?
Nope!
Unfortunately, he's
fighting me on that too.
Oh, dear. He needs
to get that done.
I got mine first thing.
Us mature folks got
first crack at the shot.
You tell him we were
the guinea pigs.
- He's got nothing to worry
about. - Yep, I know!
I got mine yesterday, but
he just wants to be pig-headed.
Hmm.
Well, you need to go
show him who's boss.
- I will, Ms. Jackson.
- If that doesn't work...
A little bedroom action
will do the trick.
Oh... okay.
Men will do anything you
want if you put out enough.
My husband Bernie...
God rest his soul
would pretty much give
me everything I wanted
as long as I was on all fours
three times a week.
I'll keep that in mind.
Oh, he would have the best time
just pounding away.
I was a lot more flexible
back in those days.
Yep, bet you were.
Okay, Ms. Jackson...
Have you ever
heard of "pegging"?
- Nope.
- How about...
"The Rusty Trombone"?
"Glass-Bottom Boat"?
- No.
- "Salad Tossing"!
That's real popular with
the kids these days.
Ms. Jackson
I really need to take care of
my husband right now, okay?
- Oh, no problem.
- Alright...
Tell him I said to
get that darn shot.
And you remember
what I told you.
I will, Ms. Jackson.
And you have yourself
a lovely evening, okay?
You too, dearie.
Oh... I forgot to
tell her about.
"The Alabama Hot Pocket".
and with the death toll now
reaching nearly half a million
the FDA is urging all citizens
to wear safety masks
if going outside
and strongly suggesting
those who have not received
the vaccine to do so.
Somebody's got the consumption.
Hey, sweetheart. How was work?
Same old, same old.
Oh.
You're still a
little rough, huh?
Oh yeah, I can't seem
to shake this damn thing.
Do you want me to
make you some soup?
Oh, no, no. Thank you, but no.
Oh, uh
I don't want to get you sick.
Relax.
I just got the
vaccine, remember?
Gonna be fine.
Jesus, not this again.
Oh, I'm sorry I'm worried.
What an asshole!
No, no, I'm sorry.
I feel like hell,
and you know I can
be a jerk when I'm sick.
Yeah, you don't always
have to be sick.
Look
I got the vaccine yesterday,
and I'm fine.
And I wasn't crazy
about that either.
I mean, they completely
rushed out those vaccines.
We don't even know
what the hell's in them.
Oh, now you know
more than the FDA.
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that
we don't know what long-term
effects they're gonna have.
Hon, I know you're
worried, and so am I,
but you're not Superman,
and I'm not ready
to be single again.
Besides
I don't even know how
to set up a Tinder profile.
"I know death spooks the
Holy Ghost out of some folks."
If I go and talk to Dr. Fisher
will you give this a rest?
About this, yes.
But I'm pretty sure I can find
something else to complain
about.
I'll call and make
an appointment.
One more thing.
Yeah?
When you're there.
I want you to get the vaccine.
You've gotta be kidding!
No, I'm dead serious.
Now please
just do this for me.
Please?
Pretty please?
"Whinnie reminds me a
lot of my own dear mother..."
Alright.
Alright what?
Alright, I'll get the vaccine.
By the way
I win!
Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you
go make me that soup?
John Farragut?
Glenn Rollins?
Hey... sorry about the wait.
We have a full house
due to the pandemic.
No worries, I get it.
Okay.
So, what seems to
be the problem?
Uh, well, I, um
can't seem to shake this cold.
Alright.
Have you had any sudden
loss of smell or taste?
No, no.
Alright.
Well, that is good.
Alright...
Hmm
that's good.
Say "ah".
Ah... AHHHH...
- Wider...
- Ah... AHHHH...
Yeah, you know what?
It's probably just a flu,
but I'm going to do some
tests just to be safe.
What kind of tests?
Nothing invasive.
Just a nasal swab.
Is that really necessary?
Better to be safe than sorry.
Don't be dramatic.
You're a big boy.
You can handle this. Now
you are going to feel
a little pressure here.
Oh, I can't wait.
There.
See, that wasn't so bad, was it?
Alright, we'll have
the results back
in a day or two, and
we'll give you a call.
Um, doc
would it be possible for me to
get my vaccine today?
Oh, really? NOW you
want the vaccine?
I can't give it to anyone
who's showing symptoms.
Dr. Fisher, I've got
to be honest with you.
The only reason I'm even here
is to get Janelle off my back.
If I don't get the vaccine
it's going to be my ass.
Well alright, there is
a new vaccine.
It's called Alpha-21,
and it's in its trial phase, but
unlike earlier versions, it
doesn't have any side effects.
And... I can administer it to
patients who are showing
symptoms.
So with a little paperwork,
I'm sure you would qualify.
- And it's safe?
- So they say.
Yeah, they, uh
they say that a lot, don't they?
You know what?
Whatever it takes.
I just don't want to be in the
doghouse when I get home.
No, I get it.
Give me a minute,
let me see what I can do.
Thanks, doc.
I'm trying, I'm trying.
Good news. You qualify.
Just need you to sign...
Here
here, and here.
Oh, yeah, um
actually, doc, I think
I changed my mind.
- I appreciate it, though.
- Don't be a baby.
Alright, come forward.
- No, your head.
- What?
The shot goes in the
back of your head.
Oh, this just keeps
getting better and better.
Alright... all done.
Yikes.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, I, uh...
I actually feel amazing.
Well, that's good, right?
Yeah, um.
I guess I just didn't expect
it to work so quick.
Yes, the shocking miracle
of modern medicine.
So, listen, uh
your tests will be back
in about a day or two,
but in the meantime
if you have any
questions or problems
- give me a call.
- Thanks, doc, I will.
I'm telling you,
man, I was in shock.
I mean, I haven't felt
this good in years.
I'm confused.
I thought you were
like Mr. Anti-Vax.
Weren't you the one
saying that this whole
pandemic was media
bullshit anyway?
I was, I was, but
I'm telling you, if you had seen
the way I looked when I walked
in there,
versus the way I did
when I walked out,
you'd completely understand
my change of heart.
And I'm sure Janelle had
nothing to do with that, right?
She... she wear you
down a little bit?
She is the reason that
I went, yeah, but, uh,
I'm a big enough man to
admit when I'm wrong.
Well, I gotta admit,
you look great.
Me, personally, I don't want
that junk in my veins.
But, uh, if it's working for
you, hey, you know what, that's
fantastic.
So how's the new
business working out?
Are you all moved in?
Do you like the place?
Yeah, yeah, I'm in. Uh,
overhead's killing me, but, uh,
you know, clients
have been steady.
Jack Murray, P.I
sounds like a '70s TV show.
Trust me, it's not as exciting
as it sounds. It's mainly just
looking into insurance scams and
taking pictures
of cheating wives,
you know, but, uh,
hey, it pays the bills.
I'm so damn proud of you. I mean
it took a lot of balls for you
to walk out the way you did.
Balls, maybe.
Uh, brains... nah, not so much.
You're doing what you love.
I mean, how many of us can say
we're truly doing what we love?
Well, you know what,
you got a point. I mean
there's something about
waking up every day
and being your own boss...
make your own hours.
Don't got to
answer to anybody...
That's absolutely wonderful.
And that takes me back
to a couple weeks ago
when I'm thinkin'... this chip
kind of looks like you a little
bit.
We've been working really hard,
and it just seems, like...
It kind of tastes like you, too.
If this were New York or L.A
I know, it's not. But
I still feel like...
Find someone who...
If you and I did
end up in a relationship,
I probably would have to
get my dick power washed.
Anyway
um...
Glenn?
Oh, I'm I'm sorry.
- What were you saying?
- Um...
Just bearing my
soul to you. Y'know.
I'm sorry, man.
No, no, no, it's all right.
I'm just messing with you.
Um, what do you got
going on tonight?
You know, I think I'm going to
cook Janelle a nice home-cooked
dinner.
I mean... she deserves it
after putting up with me.
I don't envy her.
Hey there, Jack.
I almost didn't recognize you.
Your hair's growing out.
That 'do wouldn't cut
department muster, you know.
How have things been?
They're good.
They're really good.
Thanks for asking.
Oh, I'm glad to hear that.
Hey, I couldn't help but
overhear you got yourself
a nice little
office downtown now.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
You know, we were really
sad to see you go.
Never a good thing to see a
talented cop like yourself
leave.
You ever think
about coming back...
My door's always open.
Yeah, you kind of mentioned
that a few times on my way out.
I'll, uh, I'll
keep it in mind.
I'm sorry. Where are my manners?
I'm Police Chief Tom Danvers.
Uh, Glenn. Glenn Rollins.
Nice to meet you, Glenn.
Well, I didn't mean to
interrupt your lunch.
You fellas have a nice day.
And, Jack
think about what I said.
I will. Thanks, Tom.
What the hell was
that all about?
Danvers is a nice
guy, but he's, uh
looking for a protg
and... I ain't it.
We hit it off when I was
an officer in his precinct.
And, uh, he kind of
took me under his wing.
When I first
joined the force.
He took it really
hard when I left.
And to be honest with you,
it was a little weird.
He's a little old
for you, isn't he?
That's funny, asshole.
But I think he was
looking for more of a, uh.
"Batman and Robin"
sort of partnership.
Yeah, I always wondered
about those two also.
Oh, you dick.
You ever miss it?
Miss what?
Being a cop.
Nah, it just wasn't
for me. You know
I like being my own boss.
And to be honest with you,
this town's a little bit
too small to hold my interest.
So, now.
I can branch out
to anywhere I want.
Hey, bullshit detective
it's Grady, your landlord.
Hey, you know, I
got a case for you.
Locate my rent check!
You're two weeks late, man.
And if I don't have it in
full by the weekend
you're out of here.
Yeow!
I gotta.
I gotta get a grip
on myself here.
You've reached the office of
Dr. Julia Fisher.
We are out of the office,
but please leave your
name and message
and we will get back
to you as soon as possible.
Have a blessed day.
Um, hi. Uh, this is
Glenn Rollins. I was
in earlier today.
Um, I had some, uh,
concerns about the
vaccine that you gave me.
If you could call me back, I'd
I'd really appreciate
it. Thank you.
Oh, hi!
Wow, you look a lot better.
I feel a lot better.
Are you all vaxxed up?
As promised.
So proud of you.
So, how was your day?
Exhausting.
Uh.
How was... how was yours?
Oh, it was good. It was good.
Do me a favor and turn around.
There we go.
I
Have a little surprise,
just for you.
- You do?
- Yes, I do.
- Okay.
- This way...
Straighten her out a little bit.
What are you up to, Glenn?
Closer...
Closer. So warm.
And stop!
Okay.
Ta-da!
Aww!
First, my trophy husband
gets his big boy shot.
And then he slaves in the
kitchen for little old me?
I knew there was a reason
why I kept you around.
Very funny.
Have a seat. It's getting cold.
Well, that was
delicious. Thank you.
No problem.
I just... wanted to do
something nice for you.
Kind of as a... thank you.
For?
You know... I've been
doing a lot of thinking
since I got home
from the doctor.
And
it just kind of dawned
on me that you are
really incredible, and
I don't tell you that enough.
Aww, that's sweet.
I think you're wonderful, too.
I mean it.
You're so incredibly selfless.
I mean, you're always thinking
of everybody else.
Especially me...
rather than yourself.
It's just like this
vaccine business.
Now, I mean, if I had just
listened to you instead of
trying to fight about it and
I get it. It's okay.
But it's more than that.
Do you remember
when we first met?
How much fun we used to have?
Ouch! That hurts.
Oh, no, no.
That came out wrong.
What I meant to say
was, how much fun...
I... used to be.
You're still fun.
No, I'm really not.
I mean, not in a long time.
I've been so preoccupied with
this house, with
work, with the bills,
with this stupid pandemic.
I've lost sight about
what's important.
I've got it really good.
WE have it really good.
It's important to me
that you know how
important you are in my life.
Glenn, I miss this side of you.
So do I.
But I swear to you
from here on out, I will never,
ever take you for granted again.
I love you.
And I love you too.
Are you done with this?
'Cause I'm going
to do the dishes.
Oh, no, no. I got
it. Don't worry.
No... you slaved all day
in the kitchen for me,
and that's the least I can do.
And you had a hard day as well.
I'll take care of
it. It's no big deal.
Glenn.
Yeah?
Leave... the dishes.
Oh...
That's right, boy.
Give her the high hard one.
Lay that pipe!
Oh...
It's about time Glenn's one-eyed
trouser snake was unleashed.
Mama like.
Well, no reason why they
should have all the fun.
I haven't paddled the
pink canoe in at least
a couple of hours!
Behold
the source of power!
Excalibur!
Babe
you're hot.
Oh, you're so hot too, baby.
No, I mean
you're really hot!
Ow! You're burning me!
Oh, God...
That's not...
That can't be...
No!
What
- the...
- cock?
We have to get
you to a hospital.
Janelle?
Janelle, baby.
What's your emergency?
This is Whinnie Jackson at
4051 Jefferson Avenue.
Please send an officer here
as soon as possible.
There's some kind of
craziness going on next door.
I don't know if it's some weird
sex thing or what, but
someone better get over here.
I'm not
understanding, ma'am.
What exactly is going on there?
They're
covered in blood and goo
and they're screaming
their damn heads off!
My neighbor just ripped his
donger off, for God's sakes!
Send someone over now!
We'll send a
patrol car right away.
Hello?
Jack.
Jack, you gotta help me.
What's going on?
She's dead.
I don't understand.
Who's dead?
Janelle.
I don't know.
Jesus, what happened?
I have no idea.
Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
I'm at home.
Okay... stay calm.
I'm on my way.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Where are you going?
That's Glenn. He's in trouble.
What kind of trouble?
I'm not sure,
but I gotta get over
there right now.
At 11.30 at night?
I know it's late, but I'll
be back as soon as I can.
Is it Glenn...?
Or Glenda?
Come on, Tara.
Don't do this right now, please.
Don't do what, Jack?
I'm sorry if this looks
oddly familiar to me.
It's not what you think.
Who are you really going to see?
Sweetheart
I'm going to go see Glenn.
That's all.
Bullshit.
Bullshit. You're a man-whore,
and you're never
going to change.
For the love of God, Tara,
I'm not screwing around.
It was one time. One time.
I messed up. I know I messed up.
And I've been paying
for it ever since.
Whatever. Just go to them, then.
Look... remember what
we talked about in therapy...
What good is it if every
time I walk out the door,
you think I'm cheating?
Hey.
I promise, it was one time,
and only one time.
And it'll never happen again.
Whatever.
I probably won't be here
when you get back.
You do what you have to do.
Where the hell are they?
Dispatch, this is D'Angelo.
I'm at the location requested.
It all seems pretty quiet.
What exactly
am I looking for here?
Neighbor reported
a possible domestic disturbance.
Dispatch, I don't see
anything going on,
but I'll check the perimeter.
This could be a prank call.
Copy that.
Let us know if you
need assistance.
Over there!
Over there!
What the hell am I doing here?
Dispatch
screams coming from
inside the house.
I need to check it out.
Wait for backup, D'Angelo.
Didn't copy that.
Backup is 14 minutes out.
Don't be a hero, D'Angelo.
Hold it! Don't move!
Please, don't come near me.
I don't want to hurt you.
Jesus Christ.
Get on the floor. Now.
Please help me.
On the floor!
Where in the hell is he?
Officer?
Officer??
I don't suppose you
took the trash out.
I'll get to it.
What about the dishes?
I'll get to it.
What about finding a job?
Are you getting to that too?
I'm laid off, Cindy.
I still got unemployment coming
in for the next two weeks.
What about after that?
What the hell are
you going to do then?
I'm disabled.
You're an asshole.
If you don't get your
shit together, Chet,
I'm going to my mother's.
Oh no.
Whatever will I do?
She told me you were a loser
and I never should have
married your deadbeat ass.
Guess she was right then, huh?
Keep
laughing, shithead.
I'm the only one doing
anything around here.
I would like to know where
the hell you would be
if it wasn't for me
taking care of your ass.
I don't know.
Maybe be happy for once.
You're pathetic.
I'm getting in the shower.
Don't bother coming up.
You can sleep on
the couch tonight.
Already planning on it.
Bitch.
Real mature.
Breaking things and
throwing another
one of your tantrums ain't going
to solve anything, ya know!
Oooh...
Ow!
What the... shit?
Chet, turn down the goddamn TV.
You're going to
wake the neighbors.
Chet, I told you
to go downstairs.
Get the hell out of here.
Chet, I mean it.
Leave me the hell alone.
Get the hell
out of here... NOW!
Whoa there, slick.
- Something I can help you with?
- Where's Glenn?
I'm trying to figure
that out myself.
Why are you here?
Glenn called me.
He said his wife was dead.
That's correct.
And so is one of my officers.
- Who?
- Vince D'Angelo.
Both he and the wife
have had some kind of
corrosive stuff
poured all over them.
They look like they've
been torn apart.
And your buddy...
is nowhere to be found.
Care to elaborate?
Oh, I I can't believe Glenn
could do something like this.
It's
just not possible.
Believe it. We have an
APB out on him now.
We'll find him, and
when we do, I'll let you know.
No, no, no. I'm coming with you.
Well, you're
a civilian now, Jack.
- You know I can't do that.
- Bullshit.
Law's the law, slugger. Sorry.
Glenn's been in contact with me.
I'm the only lead that you have.
I thought you didn't
want to play cop.
Glenn's my best friend.
If you could have heard
him on the phone earlier,
you'd know he wasn't
responsible for this.
I need to make sure he's safe.
You know I'd be going
out on a limb for you here.
Whether I'm with you or not,
I'm going to be on the case.
Might as well do it as a team.
Well...
You do know the perp
better than anyone.
And we are short-staffed.
You have that...
P.I. license in place, right?
Yeah.
Good enough for me.
You're on.
You say he gave
you a call earlier?
Yeah, about... 20 minutes ago.
What say you do me a
kindness and call him back,
see if you can track him down.
This is Glenn Rollins.
I'm not available, but please
leave your name and number
and I'll get back to you.
Nothing.
All right.
Let's start canvassing the area.
Maybe see if a
neighbor saw something.
We better find
this friend of yours quick.
Here, boy.
Oh my god.
Are you okay, lady?
No... no...!
No... a a a ah...!
In local news
a new study shows crime in
Ridgway is down 23% this year.
We can certainly thank
our local law enforcement
for keeping our streets safe.
In an earlier interview,
our mayor Nick Perkins said:
'Seeing is believing.'
And certainly it's clear that
the proof is in the numbers.
The town
council met and voted
to take down the questionable
billboard that has
local residents in a ruckus.
The image plastered
high on Main Street
features a man
marrying a skeleton.
Although it's meant as a PSA
for anorexia awareness,
many local folks are
shocked by the image.
And Akron has hit the mark
for having the best
Chinese and Mexican
restaurants in the country,
according to Bon
Appetit magazine.
We are certainly proud
of our local eateries
and give them all a
big congratulations
for putting our little
town on the map.
Akron is now the flagship
city of Chowderfest.
This spectacular event
brings some of the
best chefs from all over
the state to compete.
A $20 entry fee and all
the chowder you can eat...
Hey, what the hell,
man? I just mopped!
Goddamn crackheads.
Always on my shift.
Oh, hell no!
What the
hell is wrong with you?
You crazy-looking
son of a bitch!
Get the hell out of my store!
Please...
Help... me...
It hurts.
It's gonna hurt a lot worse
when I jam this bat up your ass.
Hit the bricks, asshole!
So.
Hungry...
Dude, you can eat
shit for all I care!
Get the hell out of my store!
Still think your
boy is innocent?
Come on, Tom.
We both know Glenn
couldn't have done this.
We don't even know where he is.
He could be a victim, too.
Uh-huh. Sure is racking up
a hell of a body count.
Between this one and
the naked one upstairs,
looks like old Glenn's
heading for double digits here.
Hello.
Hey hon,
just checking in.
Well...
hey there, sexy.
How's your night going?
Uh, horrible. Gibbons
is on our ass for...
A story, and
this po-dunk town is
just dead.
Really makes me regret
leaving Pittsburgh.
Oh, come on now.
That's no way for
Northeast Ohio's.
Star news
reporter to talk.
Besides... if you hadn't left,
you'd have never met me.
True. Silver linings.
Uh, so, what time
you coming home?
I gotta be honest with you.
It's gonna be a late one.
The shit's kinda hit
the fan out here.
What's going on?
I can't really talk
about it, darling.
Come on, Tom. I'm
your girlfriend.
You can't hide anything from me.
It's looking like we have
a spree killer on the loose.
He's already murdered five
people, including one of my
officers.
He's using some kind of acid
and burning people with it.
We're trying to hunt him
down now before he can
hurt anyone else.
Oh my God, that's horrible.
Any idea who this guy is?
Guy's name is
Glen Rollins.
No priors.
Not even so much as
a speeding ticket.
Doesn't make any sense.
Well... just promise me
you'll be careful out there.
You know I will.
Just keep that under
your hat. Got it?
Got it, boss. See you at home.
So, uh... where to now?
Let's keep combing
the neighborhood.
Considering all the victims live
next to each other, and
his car's still here,
he couldn't have gone far.
If it's Glen, we still don't
know if he's the one
actually killing these people.
Well, you don't give
up, do you, kid?
Well, let's look at the facts.
So you're telling me a guy
with no history of violence
no motive
decides to wake up one day
and go on a killing spree?
Well, you and I both know
stranger things have happened.
What about this acid shit
showing up on all the victims?
I'm having a lab
run tests on it,
but it could be a week or so
before we know anything.
So you think Glen is just
walking the streets
of Ridgway with a
bucket of napalm
melting anybody he runs into?
You got a better theory?
Yeah.
I know Glen didn't do this.
Why is this happening?
This is news anchor Trina
DiNardo with breaking news...
Five people have been killed
including a police officer in
the sleepy town of Ridgway.
Details are scarce
at the moment,
but a citywide manhunt is
underway for resident Glen
Rollins
in connection with
these attacks.
If you have any information on
the whereabouts of Mr. Rollins,
please call our
Crimestoppers Hotline...
No.
At 1-800-242-BUST.
No!
Hey, man, can you
buy us some beer?
We've got cash. Do us a solid...
Ha! Come and get me, gimpy!
Oh, Janelle.
Oh, baby, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Don't give me that, Trina.
You know damn well
everything I told you
last night was confidential.
You knew
I needed a story.
I-I thought your
telling me about this
was your way of being sweet.
Now we're risking
a community panic,
As well as tipping off
some homicidal maniac
that we know who he is
and that we're looking for him!
Look, the public
has a right to know.
My exact words were,
"keep this under your hat."
Do you know the meaning of the
words "keep this under your
hat"?
You can't suppress
the media, Tom.
You and I are going to have a
serious talk when I get home.
Trina?
Trina!
God damn it to hell.
Trouble with the wife?
You know I'm not married, Jack.
No.
No.
Hi, Glenn.
It's Dr. Fisher,
returning your call.
I wouldn't worry.
They say Alpha-21 has
no side effects,
but everyone is different.
So, if it gets worse,
feel free to stop by the office,
and I'll have a look at you.
Let me ask you something.
Why are you so convinced Glenn's
the one killing people here?
I'd say all the evidence
pretty much points to him.
Doesn't it seem a
little convenient?
We got a dead wife,
and a panicked phone call
to you saying she's dead,
and he needs your help.
Pretty cut and dry.
I've known Glenn for decades.
I've never seen him violent.
I've never even seen him angry.
Not to mention he
adored Janelle.
It just doesn't make any sense.
Well...
Unfortunately, just
because things don't
make any sense doesn't
mean they aren't true.
I just find that
hard to believe.
Danvers here.
Chief, can you head
over to Dr. Fisher's office?
She's got a...
situation over there.
What kind of situation?
Everybody
out of the way!
Clear the hall. I'm
coming through here.
Julia
what the hell happened here?
He just...
He just
exploded.
Who exploded?
What are you talking about?
Dr. Fisher.
I know you're upset,
but I need you
focused right now.
What happened here?
A patient came in for
a pandemic vaccine.
I administered the shot.
He was fine.
He just
blew up!
What vaccine?
Alpha-21.
It's new on the market.
How many people have
received this vaccine?
Only a handful.
We just got it in the other day.
I'm going to need a list of
everyone who's gotten this,
uh... Alpha-21.
I can't do that, Chief Danvers.
That's violating all
sorts of HIPAA laws.
Yeah, I think we're past that
right now, don't you think?
You're right...
You're right.
Okay, so the Alpha-21 shipment
arrived two days ago,
and it looks like only
three patients were
given the treatment.
Mr. Becker
who just exploded all over me,
and my office.
John Farragut
and
Glenn Rollins.
I just returned a call
to him this morning.
Both he and his wife
were vaccinated,
but she didn't receive Alpha-21.
Now we're getting somewhere.
I need you to give me the
address of John Farragut.
Of course.
I just hope we're not too late.
I'll send someone to
collect evidence here.
In the meantime,
go home.
Get cleaned up
and get some rest.
And if you think of anything
else that might help,
give me a call?
Thank you.
See, I told you.
There's no way Glenn could have
had anything to do with this.
Woah there, partner.
Just because Glenn's
on the vaccine list
doesn't exonerate
him of anything.
We still have a lot
of work ahead of us.
How's skating?
Good.
How was your cheer?
Good.
What did you do at cheer?
Oh, I haven't been in a while.
- Have you been to D.C.?
- Yeah.
- Do you want to go to D.C.?
- No.
No?
Oh, Emma!
Well, this is it.
Hello?
Mr. Farragut?
Ridgway Police.
Anybody home?
Mr. Farragut...
Wonderful. Looks
like a dead end.
Appears that way.
I'm going to go take a leak.
Knock yourself out.
"Saturday night
is the night
to have your fun."
"So let's"
get all dressed up,
"and run."
"Shake it"
down here
"girl..."
Tom!
You better
have a look at this.
Just flush it and
let's get out of here.
Get... in here...
Now.
Son, I don't care how proud you
are of it. I don't need to...
Oh.
What the hell is that?
It's, uh...
It's John Farragut.
Danvers.
Oh, hi.
Yes, this is Julia.
I think I might have
something for you.
So of the three patients
that received Alpha-21...
Both Mr. Rollins
and Mr. Farragut's blood type
was O positive.
Which is very common.
But... Mr. Becker
my patient from today...
The one that blew up?
He had type AB negative...
Which
is extremely rare.
So I don't know if
that's any help.
Yeah, Julia, that actually
helps quite a bit.
I don't think Mr. Farragut's
going to be needing his
booster shot scheduled.
Thank you.
What's the connection between
John Farragut and Glenn?
Uh... apart from, uh
them both being
patients of Dr. Fisher
none that I know.
You've never seen this
guy with Glenn before?
Um.
Hold on one second.
No, it, uh
his face doesn't ring a bell.
Doesn't make any sense.
I mean, the wife I
get. Hell, even...
Officer D'Angelo I can buy if he
confronted Glenn
in the act, but...
Why would Glenn
kill all these other people?
You're still not listening!
I'm telling you
Glenn wouldn't do this!
Look, I can appreciate this
guy's your friend and all,
but...
It's Glenn.
Put it on speaker.
Glenn, where the hell are you?
It's too late, Jack.
I'm too far gone.
I can't control it.
It's killing me
I'm coming to get you, Glenn.
Where are you?
I never meant for
any of this to happen.
Not to Janelle.
Not to anybody.
I'm dying, Jack.
I can feel myself coming apart!
It hurts so bad...
The only thing that
slows it down is eating.
I don't want to do it,
but it hurts so bad!
Where the hell are you?
I'm in the woods behind
the convenience store
- on Collins Avenue...
- Dammit, we were just there.
I'm coming!
No! I don't want
to hurt you too...
Sit tight, Glenn.
We're on our way.
No! I can't
DANVERS: Let's go.
You know, I'm really
sorry about Glenn.
No one wants to think
someone they're close
to is capable of murder.
Can't blame yourself, though.
Everyone has their own demons.
I'm still not buying it.
I've known Glenn for too long,
and there's got to be some kind
of rational explanation for
this.
You know.
I'm really starting
to think there's more
to this Glenn thing
than you're letting on.
What's your real relationship
with Glenn Rollins?
We've been friends
since college.
Define friends.
You know... friends.
No, I don't know. Explain it.
Where are you going with this?
You sure have been adamant
about his innocence
no matter what
facts we run into.
Something I can't see somebody
doing for anyone who's
just a friend.
What are you insinuating?
Are you and Glenn
sleeping together?
No!
Hell no!
I mean, you certainly wouldn't
run to my defense if I was in
Glenn's shoes.
Where is this coming from?
Station Christmas party.
Last year.
Look... we said we weren't
going to talk about this...
No we're talking about it.
We were both drunk,
it was a one-time thing,
and it didn't mean anything.
Well it meant something to me.
I knew you couldn't do this.
This is the exact reason why I
left the precinct in the first
place.
There was no reason
for you to leave!
We could have kept
it professional.
Obviously not.
You can't tell me
you didn't feel something.
Oh yes, I can!
Can't help how I feel.
What about Trina?
Screw Trina.
Listen.
I'm really sorry. I
just don't feel the
same way you do.
But I'll bet you do about Glenn!
Come on, this is ridiculous!
We're just friends.
Right...
Janelle?
Janelle
I thought I killed you.
How did you find me?
We're soulmates
remember?
No, seriously, how
how did you find me?
Glenn!
Glenn!
Don't touch it!
No, I'm not. I've seen
what this shit can do.
At least we
know we're close.
Glenn!
Glenn!
We have to find him soon.
There he is!
Don't go near them!
Glenn?
Put your hands up, now!
This has to stop, Glenn.
Don't make me kill you.
I'm not giving you
a choice, Chief.
I can't control
this much longer.
You're gonna have to kill us.
I mean it, boy.
Take one more step and
you're gonna get your wish.
- No! - Get the hell out of the
way, Jack!
I'm not gonna let you kill them.
Let him kill us, Jack.
No!
Good news
on the pandemic front.
The FDA has approved the rumored
wonder vaccine, Alpha-21.
The nationwide roll out
should begin next month.
The drug, with a reported
99% success rate and
zero side effects
is said to be safe for all ages,
even those who have been
vaccinated and boosted before.
Let's hope this is the victory
we've been waiting for
in the war against the virus.
"All Hail The Corporation"
by Andy Prieboy
Who unifies the human race
brings freedom to
the marketplace?
One law, one folk,
one look, one taste
for all the population.
Who broke the
Union's mighty grip
and forced into receivership
The tyranny of old and sick
and brought our liberation?
Who broke the
Union's mighty grip
the tyranny of old and sick?
All hail the Corporation!
The breath, the bone,
the cornerstone
the owner of our nation!
All hail the Corporation!
Huh.
How about that?
We venerate Lord
Jesus Christ
our sons we give
in sacrifice
So a few may
rule unsupervised
without cruel regulations.
Today we stand and celebrate
our perfect Christian
third world state
Illiterate and
over weight
awaiting Revelations.
The internet He gives for me
so I may work
for Him for free
Just like the
old plantation.
The breath, the bone,
the cornerstone
the owner of our nation!
All hail the Corporation!
All hail!
All hail!
We've all struggled
through this horrifying
pandemic.
But like all struggles,
there is eventually light.
And that light comes in
the form of Disolvanex.
Disolvanex, the miracle
formerly known as Alpha-21,
is the only vaccine with a
99.9% success rate.
Disolvanex is safe for all ages,
even if you're pregnant, have
other health issues such as
heart disease, diabetes,
or hepatitis C,
even if you've already
been vaccinated.
Ask your doctor about Disolvanex
and dissolve your
fears away today.
Side effects may
include headache,
nausea, dry throat,
runny nose, fatigue,
blurred vision, muscle
and joint stiffness,
loss of smell,
drowsiness, insomnia
rectal bleeding,
depression, super herpes,
loose stool, abnormal
heart rhythms
constipation, agitation,
internal bleeding,
suicidal thoughts,
rash or dry skin and alopecia.
Disolvanex is not recommended
for patients with
venereal disease
or those currently
seeing a therapist
for anger management issues.
Subject 37 is a Caucasian male,
27 years old, average
height and stocky build.
No known health ailments.
Blood pressure, 97 over 50.
Temp is 97.8.
Turn your head to the
right a little bit, please.
This may sting a bit.
So how do you feel?
Great.
Great, honestly. I
feel better than
I have in years.
In fact...
Grab a mop,
and my smokes.
Let's prep for Subject 38.
The mystery virus started here,
in the city of Wuhan.
Dozens have been infected
but experts here
believe the actual figure
is closer to 1,700 cases.
Once there
was one, two, and then three
confirmed exported
cases internationally
then we asked the question,
is that consistent with
the very low numbers
currently being reported?
The virus broke
out in Wuhan at the end of
December,
but it's also since been
detected in Thailand and Japan.
And while the Chinese government
says it's spreading from animal
to humans,
scientists here say
human-to-human transmission
can't be ruled out.
Side effects may vary.
Across China,
disturbing videos on social
media
appear to show the extreme
measures taken to control the
outbreak.
Experts believe this is a
new kind of coronavirus,
but they don't have a clear view
of the clinical picture just
yet.
The number
of cases soaring just today,
more than 24,000 now nationwide.
New Jersey today becoming
the sixth state to close
all non-essential businesses,
more than 80 million Americans
now told to stay at home.
Store shelves
nationwide are dwindling
or totally empty.
We're asking
everyone to work at home if
possible,
postpone unnecessary travel
and limit social gatherings
to no more than 10 people.
What's to
blame for this horrid behavior?
First, stress.
The American Psychological
Association says
our stress is through the roof.
The number of
confirmed cases is going up here
by
about 5,000
every... single... day.
All vaccines
have some side effects.
Usually the side
effects are mild,
like pain or redness
or tenderness
or even some swelling at the
site where the shot is given.
Let's be clear.
Vaccines can save lives.
There's no question about that.
But also, all vaccines
have side effects.
Side effects may vary.
Side effects may vary.
Side effects may vary.
Hi, Janelle!
How are you today?
Everything's good, Ms. Jackson.
How are you?
Oh fine, fine.
Just getting home from work?
Yep, the daily grind.
How's that husband of yours?
Oh, Glenn? He's actually
pretty sick right now.
Oh, goodness.
That must be why I haven't been
able to watch you two for a bit.
Excuse me?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, I meant, I haven't
seen you two in a while.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's
because he's resting up.
That poor thing.
How long's he been sick?
I'd say for a couple of weeks.
I keep trying to get
him to take the test,
but he just won't.
Goodness, that's awful.
Did he get the vaccine?
Nope!
Unfortunately, he's
fighting me on that too.
Oh, dear. He needs
to get that done.
I got mine first thing.
Us mature folks got
first crack at the shot.
You tell him we were
the guinea pigs.
- He's got nothing to worry
about. - Yep, I know!
I got mine yesterday, but
he just wants to be pig-headed.
Hmm.
Well, you need to go
show him who's boss.
- I will, Ms. Jackson.
- If that doesn't work...
A little bedroom action
will do the trick.
Oh... okay.
Men will do anything you
want if you put out enough.
My husband Bernie...
God rest his soul
would pretty much give
me everything I wanted
as long as I was on all fours
three times a week.
I'll keep that in mind.
Oh, he would have the best time
just pounding away.
I was a lot more flexible
back in those days.
Yep, bet you were.
Okay, Ms. Jackson...
Have you ever
heard of "pegging"?
- Nope.
- How about...
"The Rusty Trombone"?
"Glass-Bottom Boat"?
- No.
- "Salad Tossing"!
That's real popular with
the kids these days.
Ms. Jackson
I really need to take care of
my husband right now, okay?
- Oh, no problem.
- Alright...
Tell him I said to
get that darn shot.
And you remember
what I told you.
I will, Ms. Jackson.
And you have yourself
a lovely evening, okay?
You too, dearie.
Oh... I forgot to
tell her about.
"The Alabama Hot Pocket".
and with the death toll now
reaching nearly half a million
the FDA is urging all citizens
to wear safety masks
if going outside
and strongly suggesting
those who have not received
the vaccine to do so.
Somebody's got the consumption.
Hey, sweetheart. How was work?
Same old, same old.
Oh.
You're still a
little rough, huh?
Oh yeah, I can't seem
to shake this damn thing.
Do you want me to
make you some soup?
Oh, no, no. Thank you, but no.
Oh, uh
I don't want to get you sick.
Relax.
I just got the
vaccine, remember?
Gonna be fine.
Jesus, not this again.
Oh, I'm sorry I'm worried.
What an asshole!
No, no, I'm sorry.
I feel like hell,
and you know I can
be a jerk when I'm sick.
Yeah, you don't always
have to be sick.
Look
I got the vaccine yesterday,
and I'm fine.
And I wasn't crazy
about that either.
I mean, they completely
rushed out those vaccines.
We don't even know
what the hell's in them.
Oh, now you know
more than the FDA.
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that
we don't know what long-term
effects they're gonna have.
Hon, I know you're
worried, and so am I,
but you're not Superman,
and I'm not ready
to be single again.
Besides
I don't even know how
to set up a Tinder profile.
"I know death spooks the
Holy Ghost out of some folks."
If I go and talk to Dr. Fisher
will you give this a rest?
About this, yes.
But I'm pretty sure I can find
something else to complain
about.
I'll call and make
an appointment.
One more thing.
Yeah?
When you're there.
I want you to get the vaccine.
You've gotta be kidding!
No, I'm dead serious.
Now please
just do this for me.
Please?
Pretty please?
"Whinnie reminds me a
lot of my own dear mother..."
Alright.
Alright what?
Alright, I'll get the vaccine.
By the way
I win!
Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you
go make me that soup?
John Farragut?
Glenn Rollins?
Hey... sorry about the wait.
We have a full house
due to the pandemic.
No worries, I get it.
Okay.
So, what seems to
be the problem?
Uh, well, I, um
can't seem to shake this cold.
Alright.
Have you had any sudden
loss of smell or taste?
No, no.
Alright.
Well, that is good.
Alright...
Hmm
that's good.
Say "ah".
Ah... AHHHH...
- Wider...
- Ah... AHHHH...
Yeah, you know what?
It's probably just a flu,
but I'm going to do some
tests just to be safe.
What kind of tests?
Nothing invasive.
Just a nasal swab.
Is that really necessary?
Better to be safe than sorry.
Don't be dramatic.
You're a big boy.
You can handle this. Now
you are going to feel
a little pressure here.
Oh, I can't wait.
There.
See, that wasn't so bad, was it?
Alright, we'll have
the results back
in a day or two, and
we'll give you a call.
Um, doc
would it be possible for me to
get my vaccine today?
Oh, really? NOW you
want the vaccine?
I can't give it to anyone
who's showing symptoms.
Dr. Fisher, I've got
to be honest with you.
The only reason I'm even here
is to get Janelle off my back.
If I don't get the vaccine
it's going to be my ass.
Well alright, there is
a new vaccine.
It's called Alpha-21,
and it's in its trial phase, but
unlike earlier versions, it
doesn't have any side effects.
And... I can administer it to
patients who are showing
symptoms.
So with a little paperwork,
I'm sure you would qualify.
- And it's safe?
- So they say.
Yeah, they, uh
they say that a lot, don't they?
You know what?
Whatever it takes.
I just don't want to be in the
doghouse when I get home.
No, I get it.
Give me a minute,
let me see what I can do.
Thanks, doc.
I'm trying, I'm trying.
Good news. You qualify.
Just need you to sign...
Here
here, and here.
Oh, yeah, um
actually, doc, I think
I changed my mind.
- I appreciate it, though.
- Don't be a baby.
Alright, come forward.
- No, your head.
- What?
The shot goes in the
back of your head.
Oh, this just keeps
getting better and better.
Alright... all done.
Yikes.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, I, uh...
I actually feel amazing.
Well, that's good, right?
Yeah, um.
I guess I just didn't expect
it to work so quick.
Yes, the shocking miracle
of modern medicine.
So, listen, uh
your tests will be back
in about a day or two,
but in the meantime
if you have any
questions or problems
- give me a call.
- Thanks, doc, I will.
I'm telling you,
man, I was in shock.
I mean, I haven't felt
this good in years.
I'm confused.
I thought you were
like Mr. Anti-Vax.
Weren't you the one
saying that this whole
pandemic was media
bullshit anyway?
I was, I was, but
I'm telling you, if you had seen
the way I looked when I walked
in there,
versus the way I did
when I walked out,
you'd completely understand
my change of heart.
And I'm sure Janelle had
nothing to do with that, right?
She... she wear you
down a little bit?
She is the reason that
I went, yeah, but, uh,
I'm a big enough man to
admit when I'm wrong.
Well, I gotta admit,
you look great.
Me, personally, I don't want
that junk in my veins.
But, uh, if it's working for
you, hey, you know what, that's
fantastic.
So how's the new
business working out?
Are you all moved in?
Do you like the place?
Yeah, yeah, I'm in. Uh,
overhead's killing me, but, uh,
you know, clients
have been steady.
Jack Murray, P.I
sounds like a '70s TV show.
Trust me, it's not as exciting
as it sounds. It's mainly just
looking into insurance scams and
taking pictures
of cheating wives,
you know, but, uh,
hey, it pays the bills.
I'm so damn proud of you. I mean
it took a lot of balls for you
to walk out the way you did.
Balls, maybe.
Uh, brains... nah, not so much.
You're doing what you love.
I mean, how many of us can say
we're truly doing what we love?
Well, you know what,
you got a point. I mean
there's something about
waking up every day
and being your own boss...
make your own hours.
Don't got to
answer to anybody...
That's absolutely wonderful.
And that takes me back
to a couple weeks ago
when I'm thinkin'... this chip
kind of looks like you a little
bit.
We've been working really hard,
and it just seems, like...
It kind of tastes like you, too.
If this were New York or L.A
I know, it's not. But
I still feel like...
Find someone who...
If you and I did
end up in a relationship,
I probably would have to
get my dick power washed.
Anyway
um...
Glenn?
Oh, I'm I'm sorry.
- What were you saying?
- Um...
Just bearing my
soul to you. Y'know.
I'm sorry, man.
No, no, no, it's all right.
I'm just messing with you.
Um, what do you got
going on tonight?
You know, I think I'm going to
cook Janelle a nice home-cooked
dinner.
I mean... she deserves it
after putting up with me.
I don't envy her.
Hey there, Jack.
I almost didn't recognize you.
Your hair's growing out.
That 'do wouldn't cut
department muster, you know.
How have things been?
They're good.
They're really good.
Thanks for asking.
Oh, I'm glad to hear that.
Hey, I couldn't help but
overhear you got yourself
a nice little
office downtown now.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
You know, we were really
sad to see you go.
Never a good thing to see a
talented cop like yourself
leave.
You ever think
about coming back...
My door's always open.
Yeah, you kind of mentioned
that a few times on my way out.
I'll, uh, I'll
keep it in mind.
I'm sorry. Where are my manners?
I'm Police Chief Tom Danvers.
Uh, Glenn. Glenn Rollins.
Nice to meet you, Glenn.
Well, I didn't mean to
interrupt your lunch.
You fellas have a nice day.
And, Jack
think about what I said.
I will. Thanks, Tom.
What the hell was
that all about?
Danvers is a nice
guy, but he's, uh
looking for a protg
and... I ain't it.
We hit it off when I was
an officer in his precinct.
And, uh, he kind of
took me under his wing.
When I first
joined the force.
He took it really
hard when I left.
And to be honest with you,
it was a little weird.
He's a little old
for you, isn't he?
That's funny, asshole.
But I think he was
looking for more of a, uh.
"Batman and Robin"
sort of partnership.
Yeah, I always wondered
about those two also.
Oh, you dick.
You ever miss it?
Miss what?
Being a cop.
Nah, it just wasn't
for me. You know
I like being my own boss.
And to be honest with you,
this town's a little bit
too small to hold my interest.
So, now.
I can branch out
to anywhere I want.
Hey, bullshit detective
it's Grady, your landlord.
Hey, you know, I
got a case for you.
Locate my rent check!
You're two weeks late, man.
And if I don't have it in
full by the weekend
you're out of here.
Yeow!
I gotta.
I gotta get a grip
on myself here.
You've reached the office of
Dr. Julia Fisher.
We are out of the office,
but please leave your
name and message
and we will get back
to you as soon as possible.
Have a blessed day.
Um, hi. Uh, this is
Glenn Rollins. I was
in earlier today.
Um, I had some, uh,
concerns about the
vaccine that you gave me.
If you could call me back, I'd
I'd really appreciate
it. Thank you.
Oh, hi!
Wow, you look a lot better.
I feel a lot better.
Are you all vaxxed up?
As promised.
So proud of you.
So, how was your day?
Exhausting.
Uh.
How was... how was yours?
Oh, it was good. It was good.
Do me a favor and turn around.
There we go.
I
Have a little surprise,
just for you.
- You do?
- Yes, I do.
- Okay.
- This way...
Straighten her out a little bit.
What are you up to, Glenn?
Closer...
Closer. So warm.
And stop!
Okay.
Ta-da!
Aww!
First, my trophy husband
gets his big boy shot.
And then he slaves in the
kitchen for little old me?
I knew there was a reason
why I kept you around.
Very funny.
Have a seat. It's getting cold.
Well, that was
delicious. Thank you.
No problem.
I just... wanted to do
something nice for you.
Kind of as a... thank you.
For?
You know... I've been
doing a lot of thinking
since I got home
from the doctor.
And
it just kind of dawned
on me that you are
really incredible, and
I don't tell you that enough.
Aww, that's sweet.
I think you're wonderful, too.
I mean it.
You're so incredibly selfless.
I mean, you're always thinking
of everybody else.
Especially me...
rather than yourself.
It's just like this
vaccine business.
Now, I mean, if I had just
listened to you instead of
trying to fight about it and
I get it. It's okay.
But it's more than that.
Do you remember
when we first met?
How much fun we used to have?
Ouch! That hurts.
Oh, no, no.
That came out wrong.
What I meant to say
was, how much fun...
I... used to be.
You're still fun.
No, I'm really not.
I mean, not in a long time.
I've been so preoccupied with
this house, with
work, with the bills,
with this stupid pandemic.
I've lost sight about
what's important.
I've got it really good.
WE have it really good.
It's important to me
that you know how
important you are in my life.
Glenn, I miss this side of you.
So do I.
But I swear to you
from here on out, I will never,
ever take you for granted again.
I love you.
And I love you too.
Are you done with this?
'Cause I'm going
to do the dishes.
Oh, no, no. I got
it. Don't worry.
No... you slaved all day
in the kitchen for me,
and that's the least I can do.
And you had a hard day as well.
I'll take care of
it. It's no big deal.
Glenn.
Yeah?
Leave... the dishes.
Oh...
That's right, boy.
Give her the high hard one.
Lay that pipe!
Oh...
It's about time Glenn's one-eyed
trouser snake was unleashed.
Mama like.
Well, no reason why they
should have all the fun.
I haven't paddled the
pink canoe in at least
a couple of hours!
Behold
the source of power!
Excalibur!
Babe
you're hot.
Oh, you're so hot too, baby.
No, I mean
you're really hot!
Ow! You're burning me!
Oh, God...
That's not...
That can't be...
No!
What
- the...
- cock?
We have to get
you to a hospital.
Janelle?
Janelle, baby.
What's your emergency?
This is Whinnie Jackson at
4051 Jefferson Avenue.
Please send an officer here
as soon as possible.
There's some kind of
craziness going on next door.
I don't know if it's some weird
sex thing or what, but
someone better get over here.
I'm not
understanding, ma'am.
What exactly is going on there?
They're
covered in blood and goo
and they're screaming
their damn heads off!
My neighbor just ripped his
donger off, for God's sakes!
Send someone over now!
We'll send a
patrol car right away.
Hello?
Jack.
Jack, you gotta help me.
What's going on?
She's dead.
I don't understand.
Who's dead?
Janelle.
I don't know.
Jesus, what happened?
I have no idea.
Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
I'm at home.
Okay... stay calm.
I'm on my way.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Where are you going?
That's Glenn. He's in trouble.
What kind of trouble?
I'm not sure,
but I gotta get over
there right now.
At 11.30 at night?
I know it's late, but I'll
be back as soon as I can.
Is it Glenn...?
Or Glenda?
Come on, Tara.
Don't do this right now, please.
Don't do what, Jack?
I'm sorry if this looks
oddly familiar to me.
It's not what you think.
Who are you really going to see?
Sweetheart
I'm going to go see Glenn.
That's all.
Bullshit.
Bullshit. You're a man-whore,
and you're never
going to change.
For the love of God, Tara,
I'm not screwing around.
It was one time. One time.
I messed up. I know I messed up.
And I've been paying
for it ever since.
Whatever. Just go to them, then.
Look... remember what
we talked about in therapy...
What good is it if every
time I walk out the door,
you think I'm cheating?
Hey.
I promise, it was one time,
and only one time.
And it'll never happen again.
Whatever.
I probably won't be here
when you get back.
You do what you have to do.
Where the hell are they?
Dispatch, this is D'Angelo.
I'm at the location requested.
It all seems pretty quiet.
What exactly
am I looking for here?
Neighbor reported
a possible domestic disturbance.
Dispatch, I don't see
anything going on,
but I'll check the perimeter.
This could be a prank call.
Copy that.
Let us know if you
need assistance.
Over there!
Over there!
What the hell am I doing here?
Dispatch
screams coming from
inside the house.
I need to check it out.
Wait for backup, D'Angelo.
Didn't copy that.
Backup is 14 minutes out.
Don't be a hero, D'Angelo.
Hold it! Don't move!
Please, don't come near me.
I don't want to hurt you.
Jesus Christ.
Get on the floor. Now.
Please help me.
On the floor!
Where in the hell is he?
Officer?
Officer??
I don't suppose you
took the trash out.
I'll get to it.
What about the dishes?
I'll get to it.
What about finding a job?
Are you getting to that too?
I'm laid off, Cindy.
I still got unemployment coming
in for the next two weeks.
What about after that?
What the hell are
you going to do then?
I'm disabled.
You're an asshole.
If you don't get your
shit together, Chet,
I'm going to my mother's.
Oh no.
Whatever will I do?
She told me you were a loser
and I never should have
married your deadbeat ass.
Guess she was right then, huh?
Keep
laughing, shithead.
I'm the only one doing
anything around here.
I would like to know where
the hell you would be
if it wasn't for me
taking care of your ass.
I don't know.
Maybe be happy for once.
You're pathetic.
I'm getting in the shower.
Don't bother coming up.
You can sleep on
the couch tonight.
Already planning on it.
Bitch.
Real mature.
Breaking things and
throwing another
one of your tantrums ain't going
to solve anything, ya know!
Oooh...
Ow!
What the... shit?
Chet, turn down the goddamn TV.
You're going to
wake the neighbors.
Chet, I told you
to go downstairs.
Get the hell out of here.
Chet, I mean it.
Leave me the hell alone.
Get the hell
out of here... NOW!
Whoa there, slick.
- Something I can help you with?
- Where's Glenn?
I'm trying to figure
that out myself.
Why are you here?
Glenn called me.
He said his wife was dead.
That's correct.
And so is one of my officers.
- Who?
- Vince D'Angelo.
Both he and the wife
have had some kind of
corrosive stuff
poured all over them.
They look like they've
been torn apart.
And your buddy...
is nowhere to be found.
Care to elaborate?
Oh, I I can't believe Glenn
could do something like this.
It's
just not possible.
Believe it. We have an
APB out on him now.
We'll find him, and
when we do, I'll let you know.
No, no, no. I'm coming with you.
Well, you're
a civilian now, Jack.
- You know I can't do that.
- Bullshit.
Law's the law, slugger. Sorry.
Glenn's been in contact with me.
I'm the only lead that you have.
I thought you didn't
want to play cop.
Glenn's my best friend.
If you could have heard
him on the phone earlier,
you'd know he wasn't
responsible for this.
I need to make sure he's safe.
You know I'd be going
out on a limb for you here.
Whether I'm with you or not,
I'm going to be on the case.
Might as well do it as a team.
Well...
You do know the perp
better than anyone.
And we are short-staffed.
You have that...
P.I. license in place, right?
Yeah.
Good enough for me.
You're on.
You say he gave
you a call earlier?
Yeah, about... 20 minutes ago.
What say you do me a
kindness and call him back,
see if you can track him down.
This is Glenn Rollins.
I'm not available, but please
leave your name and number
and I'll get back to you.
Nothing.
All right.
Let's start canvassing the area.
Maybe see if a
neighbor saw something.
We better find
this friend of yours quick.
Here, boy.
Oh my god.
Are you okay, lady?
No... no...!
No... a a a ah...!
In local news
a new study shows crime in
Ridgway is down 23% this year.
We can certainly thank
our local law enforcement
for keeping our streets safe.
In an earlier interview,
our mayor Nick Perkins said:
'Seeing is believing.'
And certainly it's clear that
the proof is in the numbers.
The town
council met and voted
to take down the questionable
billboard that has
local residents in a ruckus.
The image plastered
high on Main Street
features a man
marrying a skeleton.
Although it's meant as a PSA
for anorexia awareness,
many local folks are
shocked by the image.
And Akron has hit the mark
for having the best
Chinese and Mexican
restaurants in the country,
according to Bon
Appetit magazine.
We are certainly proud
of our local eateries
and give them all a
big congratulations
for putting our little
town on the map.
Akron is now the flagship
city of Chowderfest.
This spectacular event
brings some of the
best chefs from all over
the state to compete.
A $20 entry fee and all
the chowder you can eat...
Hey, what the hell,
man? I just mopped!
Goddamn crackheads.
Always on my shift.
Oh, hell no!
What the
hell is wrong with you?
You crazy-looking
son of a bitch!
Get the hell out of my store!
Please...
Help... me...
It hurts.
It's gonna hurt a lot worse
when I jam this bat up your ass.
Hit the bricks, asshole!
So.
Hungry...
Dude, you can eat
shit for all I care!
Get the hell out of my store!
Still think your
boy is innocent?
Come on, Tom.
We both know Glenn
couldn't have done this.
We don't even know where he is.
He could be a victim, too.
Uh-huh. Sure is racking up
a hell of a body count.
Between this one and
the naked one upstairs,
looks like old Glenn's
heading for double digits here.
Hello.
Hey hon,
just checking in.
Well...
hey there, sexy.
How's your night going?
Uh, horrible. Gibbons
is on our ass for...
A story, and
this po-dunk town is
just dead.
Really makes me regret
leaving Pittsburgh.
Oh, come on now.
That's no way for
Northeast Ohio's.
Star news
reporter to talk.
Besides... if you hadn't left,
you'd have never met me.
True. Silver linings.
Uh, so, what time
you coming home?
I gotta be honest with you.
It's gonna be a late one.
The shit's kinda hit
the fan out here.
What's going on?
I can't really talk
about it, darling.
Come on, Tom. I'm
your girlfriend.
You can't hide anything from me.
It's looking like we have
a spree killer on the loose.
He's already murdered five
people, including one of my
officers.
He's using some kind of acid
and burning people with it.
We're trying to hunt him
down now before he can
hurt anyone else.
Oh my God, that's horrible.
Any idea who this guy is?
Guy's name is
Glen Rollins.
No priors.
Not even so much as
a speeding ticket.
Doesn't make any sense.
Well... just promise me
you'll be careful out there.
You know I will.
Just keep that under
your hat. Got it?
Got it, boss. See you at home.
So, uh... where to now?
Let's keep combing
the neighborhood.
Considering all the victims live
next to each other, and
his car's still here,
he couldn't have gone far.
If it's Glen, we still don't
know if he's the one
actually killing these people.
Well, you don't give
up, do you, kid?
Well, let's look at the facts.
So you're telling me a guy
with no history of violence
no motive
decides to wake up one day
and go on a killing spree?
Well, you and I both know
stranger things have happened.
What about this acid shit
showing up on all the victims?
I'm having a lab
run tests on it,
but it could be a week or so
before we know anything.
So you think Glen is just
walking the streets
of Ridgway with a
bucket of napalm
melting anybody he runs into?
You got a better theory?
Yeah.
I know Glen didn't do this.
Why is this happening?
This is news anchor Trina
DiNardo with breaking news...
Five people have been killed
including a police officer in
the sleepy town of Ridgway.
Details are scarce
at the moment,
but a citywide manhunt is
underway for resident Glen
Rollins
in connection with
these attacks.
If you have any information on
the whereabouts of Mr. Rollins,
please call our
Crimestoppers Hotline...
No.
At 1-800-242-BUST.
No!
Hey, man, can you
buy us some beer?
We've got cash. Do us a solid...
Ha! Come and get me, gimpy!
Oh, Janelle.
Oh, baby, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Don't give me that, Trina.
You know damn well
everything I told you
last night was confidential.
You knew
I needed a story.
I-I thought your
telling me about this
was your way of being sweet.
Now we're risking
a community panic,
As well as tipping off
some homicidal maniac
that we know who he is
and that we're looking for him!
Look, the public
has a right to know.
My exact words were,
"keep this under your hat."
Do you know the meaning of the
words "keep this under your
hat"?
You can't suppress
the media, Tom.
You and I are going to have a
serious talk when I get home.
Trina?
Trina!
God damn it to hell.
Trouble with the wife?
You know I'm not married, Jack.
No.
No.
Hi, Glenn.
It's Dr. Fisher,
returning your call.
I wouldn't worry.
They say Alpha-21 has
no side effects,
but everyone is different.
So, if it gets worse,
feel free to stop by the office,
and I'll have a look at you.
Let me ask you something.
Why are you so convinced Glenn's
the one killing people here?
I'd say all the evidence
pretty much points to him.
Doesn't it seem a
little convenient?
We got a dead wife,
and a panicked phone call
to you saying she's dead,
and he needs your help.
Pretty cut and dry.
I've known Glenn for decades.
I've never seen him violent.
I've never even seen him angry.
Not to mention he
adored Janelle.
It just doesn't make any sense.
Well...
Unfortunately, just
because things don't
make any sense doesn't
mean they aren't true.
I just find that
hard to believe.
Danvers here.
Chief, can you head
over to Dr. Fisher's office?
She's got a...
situation over there.
What kind of situation?
Everybody
out of the way!
Clear the hall. I'm
coming through here.
Julia
what the hell happened here?
He just...
He just
exploded.
Who exploded?
What are you talking about?
Dr. Fisher.
I know you're upset,
but I need you
focused right now.
What happened here?
A patient came in for
a pandemic vaccine.
I administered the shot.
He was fine.
He just
blew up!
What vaccine?
Alpha-21.
It's new on the market.
How many people have
received this vaccine?
Only a handful.
We just got it in the other day.
I'm going to need a list of
everyone who's gotten this,
uh... Alpha-21.
I can't do that, Chief Danvers.
That's violating all
sorts of HIPAA laws.
Yeah, I think we're past that
right now, don't you think?
You're right...
You're right.
Okay, so the Alpha-21 shipment
arrived two days ago,
and it looks like only
three patients were
given the treatment.
Mr. Becker
who just exploded all over me,
and my office.
John Farragut
and
Glenn Rollins.
I just returned a call
to him this morning.
Both he and his wife
were vaccinated,
but she didn't receive Alpha-21.
Now we're getting somewhere.
I need you to give me the
address of John Farragut.
Of course.
I just hope we're not too late.
I'll send someone to
collect evidence here.
In the meantime,
go home.
Get cleaned up
and get some rest.
And if you think of anything
else that might help,
give me a call?
Thank you.
See, I told you.
There's no way Glenn could have
had anything to do with this.
Woah there, partner.
Just because Glenn's
on the vaccine list
doesn't exonerate
him of anything.
We still have a lot
of work ahead of us.
How's skating?
Good.
How was your cheer?
Good.
What did you do at cheer?
Oh, I haven't been in a while.
- Have you been to D.C.?
- Yeah.
- Do you want to go to D.C.?
- No.
No?
Oh, Emma!
Well, this is it.
Hello?
Mr. Farragut?
Ridgway Police.
Anybody home?
Mr. Farragut...
Wonderful. Looks
like a dead end.
Appears that way.
I'm going to go take a leak.
Knock yourself out.
"Saturday night
is the night
to have your fun."
"So let's"
get all dressed up,
"and run."
"Shake it"
down here
"girl..."
Tom!
You better
have a look at this.
Just flush it and
let's get out of here.
Get... in here...
Now.
Son, I don't care how proud you
are of it. I don't need to...
Oh.
What the hell is that?
It's, uh...
It's John Farragut.
Danvers.
Oh, hi.
Yes, this is Julia.
I think I might have
something for you.
So of the three patients
that received Alpha-21...
Both Mr. Rollins
and Mr. Farragut's blood type
was O positive.
Which is very common.
But... Mr. Becker
my patient from today...
The one that blew up?
He had type AB negative...
Which
is extremely rare.
So I don't know if
that's any help.
Yeah, Julia, that actually
helps quite a bit.
I don't think Mr. Farragut's
going to be needing his
booster shot scheduled.
Thank you.
What's the connection between
John Farragut and Glenn?
Uh... apart from, uh
them both being
patients of Dr. Fisher
none that I know.
You've never seen this
guy with Glenn before?
Um.
Hold on one second.
No, it, uh
his face doesn't ring a bell.
Doesn't make any sense.
I mean, the wife I
get. Hell, even...
Officer D'Angelo I can buy if he
confronted Glenn
in the act, but...
Why would Glenn
kill all these other people?
You're still not listening!
I'm telling you
Glenn wouldn't do this!
Look, I can appreciate this
guy's your friend and all,
but...
It's Glenn.
Put it on speaker.
Glenn, where the hell are you?
It's too late, Jack.
I'm too far gone.
I can't control it.
It's killing me
I'm coming to get you, Glenn.
Where are you?
I never meant for
any of this to happen.
Not to Janelle.
Not to anybody.
I'm dying, Jack.
I can feel myself coming apart!
It hurts so bad...
The only thing that
slows it down is eating.
I don't want to do it,
but it hurts so bad!
Where the hell are you?
I'm in the woods behind
the convenience store
- on Collins Avenue...
- Dammit, we were just there.
I'm coming!
No! I don't want
to hurt you too...
Sit tight, Glenn.
We're on our way.
No! I can't
DANVERS: Let's go.
You know, I'm really
sorry about Glenn.
No one wants to think
someone they're close
to is capable of murder.
Can't blame yourself, though.
Everyone has their own demons.
I'm still not buying it.
I've known Glenn for too long,
and there's got to be some kind
of rational explanation for
this.
You know.
I'm really starting
to think there's more
to this Glenn thing
than you're letting on.
What's your real relationship
with Glenn Rollins?
We've been friends
since college.
Define friends.
You know... friends.
No, I don't know. Explain it.
Where are you going with this?
You sure have been adamant
about his innocence
no matter what
facts we run into.
Something I can't see somebody
doing for anyone who's
just a friend.
What are you insinuating?
Are you and Glenn
sleeping together?
No!
Hell no!
I mean, you certainly wouldn't
run to my defense if I was in
Glenn's shoes.
Where is this coming from?
Station Christmas party.
Last year.
Look... we said we weren't
going to talk about this...
No we're talking about it.
We were both drunk,
it was a one-time thing,
and it didn't mean anything.
Well it meant something to me.
I knew you couldn't do this.
This is the exact reason why I
left the precinct in the first
place.
There was no reason
for you to leave!
We could have kept
it professional.
Obviously not.
You can't tell me
you didn't feel something.
Oh yes, I can!
Can't help how I feel.
What about Trina?
Screw Trina.
Listen.
I'm really sorry. I
just don't feel the
same way you do.
But I'll bet you do about Glenn!
Come on, this is ridiculous!
We're just friends.
Right...
Janelle?
Janelle
I thought I killed you.
How did you find me?
We're soulmates
remember?
No, seriously, how
how did you find me?
Glenn!
Glenn!
Don't touch it!
No, I'm not. I've seen
what this shit can do.
At least we
know we're close.
Glenn!
Glenn!
We have to find him soon.
There he is!
Don't go near them!
Glenn?
Put your hands up, now!
This has to stop, Glenn.
Don't make me kill you.
I'm not giving you
a choice, Chief.
I can't control
this much longer.
You're gonna have to kill us.
I mean it, boy.
Take one more step and
you're gonna get your wish.
- No! - Get the hell out of the
way, Jack!
I'm not gonna let you kill them.
Let him kill us, Jack.
No!
Good news
on the pandemic front.
The FDA has approved the rumored
wonder vaccine, Alpha-21.
The nationwide roll out
should begin next month.
The drug, with a reported
99% success rate and
zero side effects
is said to be safe for all ages,
even those who have been
vaccinated and boosted before.
Let's hope this is the victory
we've been waiting for
in the war against the virus.
"All Hail The Corporation"
by Andy Prieboy
Who unifies the human race
brings freedom to
the marketplace?
One law, one folk,
one look, one taste
for all the population.
Who broke the
Union's mighty grip
and forced into receivership
The tyranny of old and sick
and brought our liberation?
Who broke the
Union's mighty grip
the tyranny of old and sick?
All hail the Corporation!
The breath, the bone,
the cornerstone
the owner of our nation!
All hail the Corporation!
Huh.
How about that?
We venerate Lord
Jesus Christ
our sons we give
in sacrifice
So a few may
rule unsupervised
without cruel regulations.
Today we stand and celebrate
our perfect Christian
third world state
Illiterate and
over weight
awaiting Revelations.
The internet He gives for me
so I may work
for Him for free
Just like the
old plantation.
The breath, the bone,
the cornerstone
the owner of our nation!
All hail the Corporation!
All hail!
All hail!
We've all struggled
through this horrifying
pandemic.
But like all struggles,
there is eventually light.
And that light comes in
the form of Disolvanex.
Disolvanex, the miracle
formerly known as Alpha-21,
is the only vaccine with a
99.9% success rate.
Disolvanex is safe for all ages,
even if you're pregnant, have
other health issues such as
heart disease, diabetes,
or hepatitis C,
even if you've already
been vaccinated.
Ask your doctor about Disolvanex
and dissolve your
fears away today.
Side effects may
include headache,
nausea, dry throat,
runny nose, fatigue,
blurred vision, muscle
and joint stiffness,
loss of smell,
drowsiness, insomnia
rectal bleeding,
depression, super herpes,
loose stool, abnormal
heart rhythms
constipation, agitation,
internal bleeding,
suicidal thoughts,
rash or dry skin and alopecia.
Disolvanex is not recommended
for patients with
venereal disease
or those currently
seeing a therapist
for anger management issues.