Silent Night (2021) Movie Script
[Chickens clucking]
[Children shouting
indistinctly]
You poured the brandy, baby,
dressed the tree
I got the table
looking Christmasy
[Chickens clucking,
man shouting]
Wrapped up presents,
little lights
It's true
What can be wrong
with all this right?
BELLA: Oh, Jesus.
Why are we ruining this
Christmas with this shit?
I love this song.
It's cute. It's Christmasy.
For fallen off
the fucking wagon?
Bit unfair.
You'd have to be pissed
to stomach this.
Yeah, well, you know, I've got
to stomach a lot more sober,
including your old
schoolmates, trust me.
Crazy that you won't
I put your
Christmas sweater on
It's got to be done
The uglier, the better, hon
Don't be the only one
You light everybody's faces
And, babe, you know
the time has come
Come on, come on, come on
Play along, play along
And get your
Christmas sweater on
SANDRA: Thank fuck we don't
have to wear these ghastly
Christmas jumpers again.
Oh, what a shame.
Thought we all looked
rather splendid.
Oh, of course you did, darling.
How's our little
Sleeping Beauty?
Remember December
Forget everything
SANDRA: Oh, Prince Charming.
Thank you, darling.
Mwah.
[Smooching]
And no hiding
Time has come to go
JAMES: Darling, Nell adores you.
SOPHIE: Well, last year,
she sat me at the kid's table.
[Chuckles] I'm so sorry.
Before it gets
too late, yeah
We don't have to go.
We could go anywhere.
We could turn around,
just you and me.
Oh, sweetheart, I love you.
But Nell's like a sister to me.
I couldn't abandon them
this Christmas.
And, babe, you know
the time has come
Come on, come on, come on
Play along, play along
And get your
Christmas sweater on
[Chickens clucking]
SIMON: Ooh, shit,
fuck, oh, fuck!
Fly!
[Chicken clucks, thuds]
Fuck!
Fuck!
Yeah, babe
Put your Christmas
sweater on
It's got to be done
God, I love Christmas songs.
You know you know it!
You know it! Just sing it!
Be the only one
You light up
everybody's faces
- Mom!
- Yeah?
ART: I've cut myself, Mom.
Fuck!
I'm coming!
Play along, play along
And get the Christmas
sweater on
NELL: I'm coming, I'm coming.
Did you find a plaster?
ART: No.
Did you bleed on the carrots?
Really, Mom?
Will I die?
NELL: Yeah, probably.
[Spitting] Give it.
- Oh, Mom!
- Oh, you'll be fine.
Did you rinse them first?
Yep, and the parsnips.
- Where are your brothers
- Uh, on the PlayStation.
Bastards. They're supposed
to be in the bath.
ART: We haven't got long, Mom.
NELL: I know, darling.
They'll be here soon.
Oh, shit, I'm not
a fucking waitress.
[Sighs]
Belinda's still in there.
She won't bloody leave.
NELL: Haven't made enough.
You sure your mother
wants them let out?
She thinks it's kinder if the
foxes get them first.
- Yeah, maybe.
- You promised you'd let me
light the fireworks later.
Yes, I said I would.
You look great.
Ooh, ooh.
- [Spits]
- D...
Oh, shit, where are the boys?
Uh, on PlayStation.
SIMON: Bastards.
- I could...
- Boys! Bath!
[Children shouting]
You look perfect.
I don't hear a lot of movement!
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Come on, Belinda.
Be free and be brave.
Prspero ao y felicidad
I wanna wish you
a merry Christmas
Oh, and remember no TV, okay?
And no iPhones, no Googling,
and, for the love of God,
no arguing with Kitty.
I think she's annoying
but just make an effort,
all right?
- She's a pain in the ass, Dad.
- Language, Thomas.
You said we could.
Yeah, I know,
but there's now need
to get carried away, chaps.
Come on.
Is Kitty allowed to swear?
Probably.
You said everyone
was allowed to swear.
Yeah, I did.
[Car approaches, horn honks]
Oh, Jesus, they're early.
This is important.
Don't drown.
How do I look good?
- Good.
- Good.
That's why I love you.
Right, it's not time
for a soak, so hurry up, chaps.
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prspero ao y felicidad
Oh, fuck. Sing to me.
Yes, darling?
They're beautiful. Thank you.
Sandra picked them from
the neighbor's garden.
It didn't take her very long.
Oh, okay, lovely.
- Ah, Kitty.
- Is the sticky toffee
pudding ready?
Sandra promised that there
would be sticky toffee pudding.
Yes, absolutely.
Where's Art?
Uh...
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Wow.
Kitty's university fund.
Oh, why didn't I think of that?
You did saved me your old room?
Fucking sticky toffee pudding,
I forgot.
- Oh, no, fuck.
- Sorry.
She's gonna kill me. Tony!
Tony?
- Tony.
- Yes, mother?
Nell forgot toffee.
- Oh, crumbs.
- What?
Kidding. Your mom's kidding.
Come on.
Let's find Art.
Go to the garage, darling.
There's a Tesco drive-in
right down the road.
What if it's shut?
Find a mallet.
Break a fucking window!
- I don't know.
- I suppose so.
- Simon, have you got a mallet?
- What?
Simon?
Art?
Art?
You need a hand, darling?
Um, yeah, actually.
If you could just
grab one and wait.
All right.
Oh!
Mm!
Oh.
Darling.
You look impossibly
beautiful as ever.
Thank you, my love.
Where's Sandra? I want room
before she nabs it.
Oh.
- What?!
- I know.
- Oh.
- I know, I know.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Alex didn't have to pay.
We had a rather regretful
exchange with an Arab lady
and her surprisingly
fierce bodyguard.
- Oh, happened?!
- Oh, yeah, Alex got caught
in the crossfire.
It was very un-PC of me,
smacking a lady in a burqa.
Does it hurt?
Um, yeah, it does.
Does it?
- Why did you say something?
- I did.
Oh, God. Is Kitty here?
- With a bow in her hair.
- [Groans]
Slightly hoping they'd
put her down already.
Behave.
Remember, tonight is
all about love and forgiveness.
Oh, exciting.
Who are we forgiving?
Ourselves, of course.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, thank you
for coming, sweetheart.
I don't know what we would
have done without Bella.
Mind you, she's very naughty.
She should have
stolen something for you, too.
Art?
- Hi.
- What the fuck?
Get the fuck out, Kitty.
Nope. I want to watch.
My mother said since tonight is
a special occasion,
you have to be
especially nice to me.
- No fucking way.
- Swearing is common.
- Out mom swears.
- Exactly.
- What's going on?
- They made me.
- No, we didn't.
- No, we didn't.
Shut the fuck up, Kitty.
We all know you're full of shit.
- Excuse me?
- I said shut the fuck up.
- [Laughing]
- Mum!
BELLA: Are you coping, darling?
Yes?
NELL: Yeah, just.
The boys upset?
Uh, well, they will be
when they see
I don't have enough potatoes.
You're worried about potatoes?
Yes. Waitrose was empty,
and James eats a lot.
Well, Sophie doesn't.
God, how's she do it?
Remember how hard we tried?
Coke helped,
and then the kids came.
It was kids or coke.
You wanted to be anorexic?
BELLA: She looked great.
You looked great.
Sandra wants me
to apologize to Kitty.
Did you call her a cunt?
Because we said that
that word was out of bounds.
You should have done.
Art! Apologize.
It's Christmas, darling.
What would baby Jesus say?
You're joking, right?
[Sighs]
Sorry, Kitty.
Good boy, Art.
You're such a good boy.
You just called me an asshole.
Well, you can be.
- What, I...
- Sorry.
All right, all right, come on,
piss off, piss off.
That doesn't mean you won, okay?
Just little stripper.
Look at this.
Oh, I took Nell's room.
You don't mind, do you?
Fine.
Oh, can I have
sparkling water, please?
Oh, shit, yes, sorry.
Of course. Um...
Fanta.
You like Fanta, darling.
Do I?
I'm so sorry. All of the water
was gone, even the shit stuff.
Did Lizzy call?
I thought Lizzy was coming.
Bella, you said Lizzy
was coming.
Bella?
- Did you invite her?
- Did you?
Yes, I said,
"Don't forget to call Lizzy."
No, no, you did not.
You said you would call Lizzy.
Why would I call her?
I don't like her.
Don't you?
I've never liked her.
No, she hasn't.
Doesn't mean I want her
to be alone, though,
Fuck.
I would have put up with her.
I really like Lizzy.
And that is why I love you,
darling.
Always so generous.
Every inch of you, generous.
Do you guys have a lot of sex?
Yeah, loads. Fucking loads,
Don't we?
- Exhausting.
- God, exhausting.
- Just give me one sec.
- You sure?
I'll meet you in there, yeah.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Just one second.
JAMES: Okay.
- [Sighs]
- Nell!
- Oh, James!
- Smells gorgeous in here.
- Oh, thank you.
- You look amazing.
Do I? I don't look old?
God, we're all getting old.
We were getting old.
[Door opens]
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Sophie!
I didn't see you.
Oh, let me take this.
God, come in.
You must be freezing.
Why?
Oh, don't bother.
James told me you all
think I'm anorexic.
- James, no we don't!
- Yes, we do, darling.
- [Laughs]
- Hi, Sandra.
Oh. How old are you again?
You asked me that last time.
- Oh, did I?
- Yes.
- Ah!
- Sandra.
[Sandra moaning]
Charming.
Uh, let him go, sweetheart.
Oh, do I have to?
Uh, is Kitty here?
Of course. She couldn't exactly
leave her at home, could she?
- No.
- No.
No, no, of course not,
especially because
we made a pact.
- I didn't make a pact.
- Oh, we did.
Uh, tonight is all
about truth and love.
And, you know,
you're with James,
so that counts as making
a pact, right, darling?
Fuck. Where's Lizzy?
[Sighs]
Come on, pooch.
We make tremendous criminals.
That felt so bloody good.
- Tony? Tony?
- Yes, my love?
Oh, you got them. Excellent!
Well done!
Pass them over.
James and Sophie are fighting.
James and Sophie are fighting.
Ooh.
You haven't.
You haven't told them?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Shh.
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
How old is she again?
- 15.
- She can't be 15.
Okay, 20.
SOPHIE:
How am I supposed to feel?
Are you ashamed?
Why would I be ashamed?
- Is it like a posh thing?
- What? No.
I've just noticed posh people
like to keep secrets.
JAMES: It's... it's depressing.
It's depressing?
I mean, it's painful for them.
They don't have a choice,
Sophie.
- Yes, they do.
- They don't.
Well, they do.
They don't,
and they wouldn't understand.
What wouldn't we understand?
JAMES: Trivial pursuits.
You are unbelievably bad
at the geography questions.
So I didn't bring it because
I didn't want to embarrass you.
But I'm really fucking good.
at articulate.
JAMES: [Laughs]
Alright, show me.
- Salt and pepper?
- Ah, salt and pepper.
Here, yes, and spoons, yes.
And yeah, spoons.
Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Merry Christmas.
- Happy Christmas
At least we won't have to
play trivial pursuits, right?
Oh, are we not?
Long time ago in Bethlehem
So the Holy Bible says
Mary's boy child,
Jesus Christ
Was born on Christmas day
Hark, now hear
the angels sing
A king was born today
And man will live
forever more
Because of Christmas day
Mary's boy child,
Jesus Christ
Was born on Christmas day
Oh, marvelous.
It's just one potato each.
I'm really sorry.
It's just one for everyone?
Yes.
What, so just half for the boys?
There's one,
there's one for everyone.
- They're half our size.
- One.
Mm.
Real crunchy.
- Shall we say, Grace?
- What a good idea.
- What a good idea.
- Yes!
- Lovely, lovely.
- Good idea.
Right.
- Simon?
- Sure. Um...
Where to start? Uh...
God.
God, yes, dear God.
May we thank you
for my wife's culinary talents?
- Mm-hmm.
- Um...
Also an important, uh...
Um...
For our beautiful friends,
Yes.
For our beautiful children
And for the food on our table,
for the lives that we've shared.
For...
Oh, for, uh...
the promise of love.
And happiness
And health and safety,
health and safety.
In your in your beautiful,
really beautiful...
Fun! Let's not forget how fun
it's going to be up there.
In your in your fun,
beautiful, safe...
Kingdom. Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen!
- Let's eat.
- Alright.
- Crack on, everyone.
- Yummy.
- I...
- Where is the gravy?
- Here comes the gravy boat.
- Lovely.
[Indistinct talking]
- Delicious, darling.
- Really lovely.
- Terrific.
- Really, really good.
Did anyone watch
the Queen's speech?
- Didn't see it myself.
- Well, she's clearly
in some bunker set up, you know?
Filled with tins
of baked beans and dog food.
- Oh. [Laughs]
- Absolutely.
No. Who'd want to live in a hole
and eat dog food for 100 years?
Dog food for
the, uh, dogs, darling.
Oh. [Laughs] Sorry.
SANDRA:
Knock yourselves out, boys.
I don't think she's in
a hole with dog food.
I mean, I heard her.
She sounded sad.
She's an old woman,
so it's fine.
Excuse me?
Who said it's fine
because she's old?
Oh, come on, Sophie.
You know what she means.
You mean that old people
don't matter
because they've had their time,
so now they can die?
Darling. What's going on?
I just don't think we should
teach our children
that old people don't matter.
Our children.
Maybe Kitty didn't
quite mean it...
- Oh, you wouldn't understand.
- What wouldn't she understand?
Well, you're not parents.
Oh, of course, of course.
Sorry, I forgot.
Darling, were psychopaths
because we've never
- given birth.
- Of course you're not.
Sandra, just...
Let's just leave it.
Just leave it.
SOPHIE: I mean,
how do we measure life
and who's worth what?
Well, I'm worth nothing.
Completely broke. Not a bean.
Sorry, darling.
I know what you meant.
Please, let's not fight.
Especially not before
the sticky toffee pudding.
Right, Kitty?
Sorry, what is this all about?
Did someone upset you, darling?
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Sophie had a difficult night
last night, didn't you, darling?
- Tell us.
- Please don't, Sophie.
It was horrible.
How was it horrible?
Darling, I don't think
right now is the time to share.
We had dinner.
We sang Celine Dion songs.
And... and we danced to Britney.
We laughed.
And we cried and said
that we loved each other.
- That sounds perfect.
- I wanted to be there
and... and be
a witness for them.
Maybe it sounds stupid,
but I wanted them to know
- that... that...
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay, well done, Sophie.
- Somebody that they loved
- and trusted would witness...
- Very honorable.
Uh, while I'm up,
I have an announcement,
and that is for those that
have room,
there is a delectable
cheese plate.
[Imitating trumpet]
[Chuckles] But, uh also,
I think it's time for us
to raise a glass to the chef.
To my wife. Love of my life.
- Nell!
- To Nell!
[Cheering]
- Merry Christmas.
- Cheers!
I just think we should be honest
with the kids, that's all.
Jesus Christ.
Mum hasn't lied to us,
and we've seen the news.
When?
KITTY: We know the Russians
want us all dead.
They're sending poisonous gas
to kill us all in the morning.
- The Russians?
- What?
KITTY: Yeah, they're obsessed
with world domination.
Don't be ridiculous, Kitty.
It's not the Russians.
- It's a planet, Kitty.
- It's very upset.
ART: Kitty, for years,
the planet's absorbed
everyone's filthy rubbish,
and it's had enough.
It can't take it anymore,
so it's spitting it back out
as a "fuck you" to the world,
- That's right, Kitty.
- We've taken the earth
for granted, haven't we, Dad?
Mm-hmm.
KITTY: Nonsense. It's
the Russians sending the gas.
You can't always blame
the fucking Russians, Kitty!
- Dad, tell Art.
- Look, Kitty.
Greta warned us.
She missed all that school.
She spent weeks seasick.
She even met Leonardo DiCaprio.
And still, no one
listened to her.
Sorry.
You should all be ashamed
of yourselves.
You are such clever,
clever boys.
- I'm clever, too.
- Yes, you are, my darling.
- It's a fucking mess.
- Stop swearing.
- No!
- Look, Art.
It's not all bad.
We're still luckier than some.
Aren't we, Dad?
At least our government
doesn't want us to suffer.
You mean like those poor
African kids who slowly
bled to death, puking out their
guts as the intestines turned
to bloody mush?
You mean like them?
Yes, because my guts are going
to turn to bloody mush.
How do you know?
Art, stop it, please.
It's true, Art. Kitty's right.
At least our government
has a plan.
It's not a plan,
it's a disaster.
[Indistinct chatter]
Stage one...
toxic inhalation.
Stage two... attack
on the nervous system.
Stage three...
fatal hemorrhaging.
Take your exit pill,
avoid suffering,
and die with dignity.
NELL: Everyone's life matters.
We just want to make sure
that you understand
that as your parents,
we are not to blame.
This is not our choice,
and this is not our fault.
I mean, clearly, it's not
your fault, either.
It's...
But we are not responsible
for the poison, the pills...
We're just trying to do what is
best for us all,
uh, to protect you
so that, um...
so that you don't suffer
because suffering is bad.
And in this case,
completely unnecessary.
Yeah.
We all deserve to live,
especially old people.
Yeah.
And we know that
this is the right thing to do.
- Yes.
- Don't we?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
And we love you very much.
We love you very much.
You know that
we love you, right?
Yeah, I suppose so.
Yes, Sandra, I think so.
- Yes, mom.
- Yes, mom, we know.
[Mouthing words]
[Timer ringing]
- Sticky toffee pudding!
- Sticky toffee pudding!
Oh!
Mm.
Oh.
Ugh.
- Debbie Does Dallas.
- George, George.
[Groans]
- Wa... wa... wavy woman.
- "The Wizard of Oz"?
"The Wizard of Oz"!
"The Wizard of Oz"!
- Oh, "The Snowman"!
- Four words, dummy!
The snowman comes to tea.
- Exotic dancer.
- Is it a Demi Moore film?
- "Die Hard: Die Harder."
- "Black Swan"!
Fucking hell, four words.
[Growling]
That is exactly how she looked
when she gave birth
- to the twins.
- [Groans]
- "Bambi"?
- "Fantastic Mr. Fox."
- Things are looking up.
- "The Fox and the Hound"?
Give us a clue. Sounds like?
Oh, "The Day After Tomorrow"!
- Yes!
- Yes!
- How?
- Are you kidding me?
SIMON: Fuck me, Batman.
Did you get that
from the hospital?
[Groans]
Were you when the...
for the patients to see?
Hm.
I'll admit it.
I'm scared.
- Sophie's pregnant.
- Oh, that's terrific.
- James, no.
- Didn't exactly plan it.
- What, the poison?
- No, the baby, Tony.
- Is it a baby?
- How many weeks?
Still early days.
She hasn't decided yet.
On having the baby?
The pill, Tony. She hasn't
decided about the pill. Right?
Mm.
Are you insane?
She has a choice.
No, she doesn't.
What do you mean?
We made a pact.
You understand,
we don't have a choice.
I do. But she does.
Why wouldn't she?
Doesn't want to hurt the baby.
- It's insensitive.
- It's not the same.
Or is us killing our kids.
We're not killing our kids.
Tony.
No, you're right, you're right.
It's very different.
There's no escaping poison.
- I know.
- Leave it, Tony.
Unless she's some sort
of fucking superwoman.
Don't be insulting.
Can't change her mind.
Believe me, I've tried.
Can't fucking make her.
Yes, well, don't tell Sandra.
She'll kill her.
[Chuckles] Not literally.
James.
Sophie has to keep
this to herself.
It won't help telling the kids.
They won't understand.
Can't protect them, James.
- I know.
- Do you?
Yes.
Sorry, James.
You'd have been
such a great father.
[Sighs] Shit balls.
- [Gasps]
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Yes.
Hey! Wow.
- Look at her.
- Bravo.
Daddy, she's beautiful!
And if you pull the string
on her back,
she actually talks like you.
- The doll talks like Kitty?
- Yeah.
You can upload an app.
It's actually quite cool.
SANDRA: Oh.
DOLL: I love you, daddy.
You're the best daddy
in the whole wide world.
Thank you, daddy!
- Aw.
- Aw, I love you, sport.
- Aw!
- Aw!
- So sweet.
- Thank you.
Oh, oh.
Don't I get a hug, darling?
Come on.
No, thank you.
Why not?
Because you're wearing
my education on your feet.
You don't need it anymore.
Just... just give me a hug.
KITTY: I'm not hugging you.
SANDRA: Oh, darling,
I deserve a hug.
KITTY: Nope.
SANDRA: Well, just
a teensy-weensy,
ittle-bittle, teeny-weeny little
baby hug, darling?
KITTY: Drop it, Sandra.
Tony, speak up.
Just fucking... Jesus Christ,
just fucking hug your mum
so we open the rest of these
stupid fucking presents
before you should fucking
Russians kill us all.
Oh. Well, best do what
Psycho says.
And what's with the stupid
fucking bow in her hair?
All right, Art, don't take
the fucking piss.
[Box thuds]
Does that mean
you don't want it, then?
Dibs on it first.
- I'll go.
- I'll go.
- Children.
- Love you.
Don't approach anything without
the Prosecco.
- Just like you.
- I love you, Daddy.
You're the best daddy
in the whole world.
Go on, boys. Have a go.
- Okay, that's gonna...
- Wow, wow.
- Give it back.
- I really want to hit her.
No, no, you can't hit Kitty.
Like it isn't cruel enough
to give us toys
we can't even play with.
It's so wrong.
And so stupid.
Do you mom know
you're actually stupid?
Well, your mom's always been
a little bit daft.
We just wanted you to be happy.
The batteries are going
to last longer than us.
I'm so sorry, Art.
Is it true that some people
haven't been given a pill?
Who told you that?
Just tell me the truth.
Yes.
Homeless people
and illegal immigrants.
They won't have been
given the pill.
Why?
Because...
according to the government,
they don't legally exist.
Of course they do.
Not in their system, they don't.
It's complicated.
That's wrong. They're going to
die horrible, horrible deaths.
We have to help them.
Don't be ridiculous, Art.
I'm not ridiculous.
We can't even help ourselves.
All we can do is...
...take our pills
and choose not to suffer.
We have a choice.
No, no.
We don't have a choice. No.
[Indistinct chatter]
Hang on, wind action.
Wind, wind, wind.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Okay.
[All shouting]
[Fireworks exploding]
[Sniffs]
Shh.
Shh.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, we had fun at school.
BELLA: Do you remember when
they had us clearing leaves
from the bottom pitch?
It took us days.
They just kept falling.
You called the headmaster
a pervert.
He accused me of stealing
Mars bars from the kitchen.
- But did you?
- Yes, of course.
But what was he doing
following me into the kitchen
in the middle of the night?
Oh, I think we know why.
Yes, we did, dirty bugger.
Dirty bugger.
I think I was trying
to do the same.
Do you need a hand with that?
- She's fine.
- Me? No, I'm fine.
[Chair scraping]
Love Scrabble.
Just to keep me company.
Oh, I'm just so thirsty.
SANDRA: Nell was
always the youngest.
NELL: No, I wasn't
the youngest, James was.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
Oh, you were so adorable.
Bella was always the oldest.
[Scrabble pieces rattling]
Anyone want to play
Scrabble with me?
Yes, um, actually, Sandra didn't
talk to me till we were 15.
Oh, come on.
In fact, none of you did.
That's 'cause you were
terribly boring.
- [Laughter]
- Boring?
I thought you loved me.
I was just very grateful
you didn't want scratch my back.
Oh, you love having
your back scratched.
With you, dear, yes.
And James arrived from Nigeria
with his school fees
and his suitcase.
- Mm.
- You were very African
when you arrived.
Come on, you sound like Mowgli
from "The Jungle Book."
Didn't Mowgli have
an American accent?
I think Mowgli's from India.
How come you never fucked me?
- Wow. Wow.
- Jesus, Sandra.
- I just was wondering.
- James, I'm so sorry.
Please do not apologize
for me, darling.
No, that's right. You should
probably apologize for yourself.
Oh, keep your knickers on.
You know, it's just something
that always bothered me.
You know?
Everyone wanted to fuck me.
I didn't.
Why not?
Just never really did it for me.
[Chuckles]
I never knew that.
- Did you know that, Nell?
- No.
Did you know that
her husband didn't want
to have sex with you?
Yes, because I just assumed
everyone did, okay?
Stop being so judgy.
It was hard not to be, actually.
Oh, you fancy
Ms. Skinny Pants next door, hm?
Ms. Potato face?
Miss Americana? Hm?
[Laughs]
Oh, come on, James.
Don't go all shy on us now.
I actually love Sophie.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it.
- I'm sorry. I really...
- Hey, hey, hey.
She's a good person.
[Chuckles]
Oh, wow.
Don't. Don't make me cruel.
I don't want to be cruel to you.
SANDRA: What is this, James,
Is it pity, hm?
Do you know pity me?
No one pities you, Sandra.
They tolerate you,
but they don't pity you.
How the fuck would you know?
Calm down, Sandra.
Piss off, Simon!
Oh, God.
When we heard about
what was going to happen
and I realized that I'd...
well, I'd never get to...
- I'd never get to...
- Never get the fuck James?
- [Sighs]
- I get it.
You want to fuck James, too?
- No.
- Why not?
- Looks exactly like James Bond.
- What are you talking about?
- He does.
- I do.
I get it. You guys.
Fuck, you were best friends.
We're all going to die,
so you...
- Fuck, you might as well...
- Fuck James.
Ask! Tony, might as well ask.
Don't be simple, Tony.
This isn't about you and Sandra.
- Clearly.
- This is about before
you and Sandra.
We were best friends,
and I loved you.
I really, really loved you.
I loved you, too.
Great.
But when Mr. Tanner...
When Mr Tanner, when he...
I couldn't forgive you.
And you didn't want to, I know
that, and he was a disgrace.
I didn't understand.
I felt rejected,
and I was consumed by jealousy.
What are you talking about?
JAMES: He took you away from me,
and I hated you for that.
What the fuck's
he talking about?
- And then I hated myself.
- Simon, what's going on?
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- It's okay, James.
- I was wrong to blame you.
You were just a child.
It's okay, Nell.
It's okay, right?
No.
No, it's not okay.
- No, I know. I was...
- Yes.
- You were.
- Dear.
Tony, darling, look...
I'm sorry, Sandra.
Tony darling isn't here.
It wasn't James' fault.
No.
Of course it wasn't.
But you didn't do anything.
Did you?
And it slithered away
like a... like a...
Like some sort of coward.
- Tony.
- [Coughs]
- Tony, darling.
- What?
Look, we've all done things
we regret.
- What?
- Yes.
Darling, haven't you ever
made a mistake?
No, I haven't. No, no.
Not of this magnitude.
- No? Never?
- No, I haven't.
- Surely.
- No.
- No?
- No, not once.
- Once?
- What are you talking about?
- Darling, surely...
- I still have things to say.
- What?
- Oh, fuck.
What?!
Me and Tone.
You had sex with Tony?!
[Gasps]
Years ago.
I fucking hope so!
- I told you.
- When?!
Uh...
Uh...
I don't know, I can't remember,
but I remember telling you
that I had done you
and Tony a favor.
Fucking Tony was a favor?
BELLA: Yes, Sandra.
Actually rather heroic.
Heroic?
[Laughter]
What the fuck?
BELLA: I was killing two birds
with one stone.
I had to try shagging
a bloke and...
Shut the fuck up.
Why not be of service
to you both?
I was fundamentally
instrumental in getting you
back together again.
Mm.
Given the circumstances,
sort of an act of
sacrificial love.
Yes! yes!
It is that. It fucking was!
- Yeah, yeah.
- It was!
Right, Tony? Bella was just
trying to boost your ego.
- Didn't fucking work!
- Didn't fucking work!
[Laughter]
NELL: Okay. Okay.
Here's to us.
- May we rest in love.
- Yes! In love.
In love. Come on.
Come on, stand up.
Come on, San, come on, Tone.
- Come on. It's Christmas.
- Come on. Come on, come on.
There we go.
All right.
Oh, that was intense.
Tone, we okay?
Yeah.
These twisters are
a precursor to the cloud
arriving and carry
poisonous gases.
Avoid suffering.
Take your exit pill
and die with dignity.
Art, can I come in?
Sure.
[Door closes]
You okay?
What are you doing?
Please don't tell my dad.
No, I won't.
I can't help it.
I don't know what else to do.
I understand.
SIMON: Art?
Come on. Got to call Grandma.
- Cool, great.
- Yeah.
[Sighs] This is typical
fucking Lizzy.
She's not even here,
and she's ruining the vibe.
LIZZY: Hi.
Yeah, you've reached Lizzy.
Yeah, leave me a message!
[Alex mumbles indistinctly]
You are completely pissed.
I'm fine.
I'm fine. I just...
I need a little snooze.
BELLA: Oh, be careful.
- Hey!
- Yeah, okay, okay.
You promised me.
I can't help it.
They're so mean.
BELLA: Oh!
Fucking hell.
Oh.
I miss my mom.
Mm.
[Door opens]
[Sighs] Oh, God.
BELLA: Alex is asleep.
Already?!
No, no.
Just drunk.
Are we really going to die?
I know I'm not brave.
Um...
can't even cope with a cold.
But you believe the government?
Oh, no.
They killed Diana.
Shit.
We've seen it everywhere
on the news.
The unimaginable horrors
that have happened
all over the world.
I mean, you cannot
make this shit up.
And I've seen the road.
And there is no fucking way
I am living like that.
I can't do post-apocalyptic
monochrome.
I've never seen it.
Should I?
BELLA: No, no.
It's fucking miserable.
Oh, poor Al. She wouldn't
cope on her own.
She's far too fragile.
You know?
Yeah.
She is.
Darling, can you see her
running away from zombies?
Not in a hurry. No.
[Laughs]
Oh.
We should have all voted Green.
Fucking conservatives.
[Ringing]
- Hey!
- Grandma!
Hello, boys.
Happy Christmas.
You're still alive!
Yes, I think so.
Grandma, is the Queen dead?
Oh, I don't know, darling.
Is she in a bunker full
of dog food?
Yes, quite possibly.
She should be prepared to die
with the rest of her people.
Oh, darling.
Are you having a bad night?
Tony and Simon robbed
the petrol station.
- Oh, what fun?
- Hmm.
Kitty wanted
sticky toffee pudding.
GRANDMA: Yes, excellent choice.
Thanks for lending us
the house, mum.
- Thank you so much.
- It's been so lovely
to have everyone back together.
Just brilliant.
We miss you, though.
I wish you weren't so far away.
Well, yes. Um, darling,
I best go. I...
I've got to Zoom
the bridge girls.
Mum, mum, please wait.
Nellie, it's all right.
Your father's up there
waiting for us all.
He'll be so thrilled to see you.
- Mom?
- Goodbye, my darling girl.
- Mom, are you okay?
- Hang in there.
Goodbye, Simon.
ART: Grandma?
Where did Grandma go?
[Rumbling]
I didn't event get to say
goodbye to her.
[Indistinct talking]
Call her back.
No, darling.
I didn't get to say
goodbye to her!
[Gasps]
Please, Dad.
No, boys. I'm sorry.
Stop being such an asshole
and call her back!
I said no, Art. That's it.
Darling?
[Explosions, rumbling]
[Wind whistling]
NELL: My poor mother!
She's all alone!
SIMON: Darling.
I need you, Nell.
Come on.
Come on.
Dance with me.
[Laughs]
[Knocking]
Can I come in?
Of course you can.
You're a... you're a a doctor,
right?
A cancer doctor.
Yes, I am.
So you know about death.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not going to take the pill.
It won't hurt you, Art.
Well, it will. It'll kill me.
I mean, it's painless.
I'm not scared of pain.
Oh, Art.
You don't know
anything about pain.
I know don't want to die.
Pain...
Pain is... intolerable.
Pain is why some people
choose to die.
Well, I don't care,
I'm not taking it.
Okay. Okay.
Wait. Where are you going
To get his parents.
Maybe somewhere somebody
has survived the gas.
Not one single being survived.
Says who?
The people who know.
- You mean the government?
- Yes.
And scientists.
But what if they're wrong?
Excuse me?
Last time, Mr. Fullam,
my math teacher,
well, he got something wrong,
he didn't realize it at first,
and he told poor Tommy
off for challenging him,
but he had to find Tommy after
break and apologize to him
because Tommy was right
and Mr. Fullam was wrong.
He's very clever, Tommy.
Well, is Tommy taking the pill?
Probably. His mother hates him.
What if the best scientist died,
and then... and then
the lazy one took over, and then
the lazy one went home
one night, and forgot to upload
some file, and then...
and then died in the morning?
What if one of the shit
scientists is in charge
of whether I live or die?
JAMES: Hey, hey.
This isn't pretend, Art.
There isn't someone somewhere
who's made a mistake.
People don't generally know
they made a mistake
until they've made it,
and then we'll all be dead,
and then there won't be
anyone to apologize to.
JAMES: I'm sorry.
I really am.
But I can't make this
better for you.
Well, what about
those poor people?
Who's going to hold their hand
while they die in pain?
JAMES: Life isn't fair, Art.
That's what people say when they
don't want to find a solution.
You can't help them.
But you can. You're a doctor.
You're supposed to save people.
[Up tempo music playing]
Baby, look at me
And tell me what you see
You ain't seen
the best of me yet
Give me time, I'll make
you forget the rest
I got more in me
And you can set it free
I can catch the moon
in my hand
Don't you know who I am?
Remember my name
Fame!
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly
High
I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
Fame!
I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky
like a flame
Fame!
I'm gonna live forever
Baby, remember my name
Hey, you're very kind boy, Art.
I'm not kind.
I just don't want to give up,
and I don't think
anyone else should either.
[Sniffles]
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin
Mother and child
Holy infant
so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
I'm pregnant.
So I'm not going
to take the pill.
Does being pregnant
mean you won't die?
I will, but not from the pill.
I don't want to kill my baby.
- [Door opens]
- NELL: Art?
What's going on?
Sophie's pregnant. She doesn't
want to kill her baby.
So she's not going to the pill,
so I'm going to stay alive
and hold her hand when she dies.
Is that cool with you?
Simon!
Yay!
ART: You're overreacting.
NELL: I am your mother Art,
- I know.
- Not her.
- I know.
- You don't just ask
- some stranger.
- She's hardly a stranger.
- Oh, shut up.
- You shut up.
- You shut up.
- No, you shut up.
- You shut up.
- You shut up.
- Shut up!
- Stop copying me, you stu...
Don't you talk
to your mother like that!
At least Sophie cares
about her child.
- How dare you?!
- How dare you?!
What's going on, Art?
I'm taking that fucking pill.
Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you fucking are.
- No, I'm fucking not.
- Stop swearing.
See, you made a rule,
and you can't even stick to it.
We are your parents.
You want to murder me.
Just stop. Stop it. Stop it.
God says thou shall not kill.
Fuck God!
- I knew it.
- He just tricked you.
Yes, I know.
So you don't even believe
in God. You're just afraid.
Yes, I-I am.
I am... I am afraid.
I am absolutely terrified.
Please, Dad, stay with me.
We can hide from
the poison together.
We can... we can
shut the windows,
and we can barricade the doors,
and we can wait it out.
Please, Dad, I need a grown up.
I can't do it on my own.
It'll be airborne, Art.
It will travel
through the windows,
the doors, the water pipes.
You can't hide from it, Art.
It will kill anything and anyone
that is still alive.
SIMON: Yes.
I don't believe you.
Okay, come here. Come here.
Your father and I have discussed
this over and over again.
We have discussed
every possible option.
If... if... if we don't
take the pill,
if you don't take the pill,
if... if your brothers
don't take the pill...
look at me, look at me.
But the outcome
is always the same.
And in no particular order.
We will all die one by one.
And you will be left crying
with no one to comfort you.
And I can't do that.
I can't let babies suffer alone.
I don't mind anymore.
What?
I said I don't mind anymore.
We're your family, Art.
Not if you kill me, we're not.
NELL: Art!
- SIMON: Art?
- NELL: Art!
[Birds squawking]
NELL: Art, come back.
You're scaring me.
[Rumbling]
Art?!
[Wind whistling]
[Rumbling]
ART: Belinda?
[Chickens clucking]
SIMON: Art!
Art!
Where are you?!
[Music playing on radio]
Be the only one
Christmas sweater on
[Screams]
[Art screaming]
Art! Art!
Simon!
[Screams]
SIMON: Art!
[Screaming]
Jesus Christ.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[Sobbing]
We have to... Come on! Go!
Come on! Come on!
Watch it!
Run!
[Art screams]
Get inside! Get inside!
[Screaming]
[Up tempo music playing]
Set them free
Free, free, set them free
Set them free
SIMON: Kids, go to your room.
Set them free
What's happened?
- Now!
- Is he okay?
- He's upset.
- Mommy.
Shall I take him upstairs?
Just take the twins
to their room. Go.
- Mommy?
- Okay, come, kids.
Come on, boys.
Come on, quick, quick.
I'll be up in a minute.
- Don't be creepy.
- Simon, let me help.
- Fuck off.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- I'm sorry.
- Just... Just give me a second.
Just let me take him
upstairs to Nell.
Let him take him to Nell.
Hey.
Here, champ, I got you.
It's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay.
I got you. Tony.
[Sobbing]
SOPHIE: It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
[Sighs]
Fuck!
I got you.
They're all fucking dead.
Who's dead?
Here you are. It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
Just go get Nell.
I'm going to check on Simon.
Okay.
We're going to get
your mom, okay?
We'll go and get your mom.
It's gonna be okay.
Who's dead?
They're all fucking dead, Tony.
Of course they are.
Most of the world's dead.
[Simon sobbing]
[Sobs]
JAMES: Art's okay.
He's upstairs with Nell.
[Groans]
SOPHIE: Don't swallow.
I'm sorry. I can't understand.
What is it? What is it?
SIMON: I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Just breathe.
Now, if you can,
start from the beginning.
I went and took the chickens...
I took the chickens out
at about 12:30 p.m.
Sorry, are you joking?
Tell us what happened?
Hey, hey.
[Sobbing] Art ran off.
And I found him...
I found him on the side
of the road with this car.
And they were all dead, James.
There was even a baby.
[Sobs]
I'll go get your mom.
[Door closes]
Nell? Nell?
[Art gasps]
[Gags]
[Groans, gasps]
But then the wind changed,
and then all I could
hear Art screaming.
[Loud thudding]
Tony, don't!
- Simon.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Simon, the bodies, the bodies,
was there any blood
in the ears, eyes, mouth?
Vomit?
Were they sweating?
Was there urine?
TONY: Stop it, James.
Just stop it!
Poison's not coming
till tomorrow.
It is tomorrow.
I'll go and check on Art.
I was just checking on Art.
No, no.
I get it. You're pregnant.
And that is unimaginable.
But Art is my son.
This is my family, and we have
had enough of you interfering.
Oh. Oh, uh...
Simon, you are a good man.
An excellent father.
And a darling friend.
Hm?
But it is time, hm?
- Mm-hmm?
- Hm.
Let's go.
It's gonna be fine.
[Rumbling]
[Wind whistling]
[Bottles clang]
Shit!
[Kisses]
I love you both.
Go and be with your families.
Go on.
Right behind you.
Cheers.
Shh.
You're my beautiful boy.
Tell me what happened,
sweetheart.
- Art, what happened?
- Do you a hug?
Are you exhausted?
He's exhausted.
It's all right.
Have I always been boring?
[Stammers]
But you're so much more
than that.
What happened out there?
Are you okay, Daddy?
Is Art having a breakdown?
No, he's just, um...
He's just very upset.
Has he calmed down yet?
Yeah.
It's time, boys.
Already?
Yes, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt Nell.
Fuck.
Was I wrong?
Is Art gonna be okay?
You promised us a can each.
I'm not sharing, Dad.
The right, darling.
BELLA: Al?
Please... wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
[Sobbing,
talking indistinctly]
Please wake up!
[Sobbing]
Sorry.
SIMON: Here you go, darling.
It's warm, Dad.
Mine too.
Art, is yours warm?
Yep.
- Dad?
- Dad?
Jesus Christ.
I'll miss you.
[Sobbing]
[Ice cubes clink]
What are you doing?
Sophie...
do you want both of us
and our baby to die in agony?
Because I won't take my pill
if you don't take yours.
- Thank you.
- There you go, darling.
Be careful.
Sorry, mom.
It's all right, sweetheart.
Fucking hell, Hardy!
- It's not my fault.
- Dad must have dropped it.
Did you drop the Coke?
I can't remember.
Fuck's sake.
Shit.
Fucking hell.
Darling.
- Dad.
- Dad.
[Glass thuds]
[Gasps] I haven't
said goodbye to Nell!
I haven't said goodbye to Art.
I haven't said goodbye to Simon.
Hold me. Please, please,
Kitty, just once.
I'll hold you.
No. No, I want Kitty.
Please, darling.
My doll! Baby Kitty!
Oh, no, Kitty, wait. I'll come.
My legs... I can't feel my legs.
Stop.
K-K...
Kitty!
[Gasping]
[Gasps]
[Gags]
[Vomits]
[Retches]
No!
[Footsteps approaching]
SIMON: Say when.
Stop.
SIMON: Compare.
Okay.
SIMON: Happy?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
SIMON: All right.
Palm out.
Palm.
- They're huge.
- Massive.
How are we going
to swallow them?
Mum.
Art.
- Art, darling.
- Art, wake up.
- Art, wake up.
- Art?
- Geez!
- Oh, my God!
[Gasps]
Oh, my God!
SIMON: Shit, shit.
Coke.
- Dad?
- Mum?
Ah.
Okay, did you swallow it?
You swallowed it?
Have you swallowed it?
Yes?
Okay.
[Sobbing]
My baby.
Oh, fuck.
Son.
NELL: Okay.
Alright, everyone.
Everyone get into bed,
close your eyes.
Okay, okay, come on.
On the bed.
[Toilet flushes]
[Alex groans]
Jesus.
How much did I drink?
BELLA: Fucking hell!
For fuck sake!
Where is everyone?
We've got five minutes.
Okay.
Five fucking minutes!
[Gasps]
[Rumbling]
Put your Christmas
sweater on
It's got to be done
The uglier, the better, hon
Don't be the only one
You light up
everybody's faces
And, babe, you know
the time has come
Dad?
It doesn't matter
if you don't look cool
Everybody's trying to learn
the Christmas rule
Remember December
Time has come to go
To get your sweater, baby,
'cause I just can't wait
To come and join the party now
before it gets too late, yeah
[Alex gasps]
Put your Christmas
sweater on
What the fuck, Bella?
You puked up the pill.
Fuckin' piss head.
Don't be the only one
You light up
everybody's faces
And, babe, you know
the time has come
[Alex gasps]
Play along, play along
Get your
Christmas sweater on
[Gasping]
I want you to think of heaven.
I want you to imagine a cloud
that's... a giant cloud
that's made of candy...
Oh, my God!
I haven't said goodbye
to Sandra.
- No.
- No, I have to.
There's no time, Nell. Just...
Just stay with us.
Lie down. Close your eyes.
I love you, Daddy.
You're the best daddy...
[speech slows]
in the whole wide world.
I love you, mom.
I love you, Hardy.
I love you, dad.
I love you, Hardy.
I love you, mom.
I love you, Thomas.
I love you, dad.
I love you, Thomas.
I love you, darling.
Sleep, my darling.
I love you always.
- I love you, Art.
- I love you, Art.
[Sobs]
[Wind whistling]
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Silent night
All is bright
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin
Mother and child
Holy infant
So tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
[Children shouting
indistinctly]
You poured the brandy, baby,
dressed the tree
I got the table
looking Christmasy
[Chickens clucking,
man shouting]
Wrapped up presents,
little lights
It's true
What can be wrong
with all this right?
BELLA: Oh, Jesus.
Why are we ruining this
Christmas with this shit?
I love this song.
It's cute. It's Christmasy.
For fallen off
the fucking wagon?
Bit unfair.
You'd have to be pissed
to stomach this.
Yeah, well, you know, I've got
to stomach a lot more sober,
including your old
schoolmates, trust me.
Crazy that you won't
I put your
Christmas sweater on
It's got to be done
The uglier, the better, hon
Don't be the only one
You light everybody's faces
And, babe, you know
the time has come
Come on, come on, come on
Play along, play along
And get your
Christmas sweater on
SANDRA: Thank fuck we don't
have to wear these ghastly
Christmas jumpers again.
Oh, what a shame.
Thought we all looked
rather splendid.
Oh, of course you did, darling.
How's our little
Sleeping Beauty?
Remember December
Forget everything
SANDRA: Oh, Prince Charming.
Thank you, darling.
Mwah.
[Smooching]
And no hiding
Time has come to go
JAMES: Darling, Nell adores you.
SOPHIE: Well, last year,
she sat me at the kid's table.
[Chuckles] I'm so sorry.
Before it gets
too late, yeah
We don't have to go.
We could go anywhere.
We could turn around,
just you and me.
Oh, sweetheart, I love you.
But Nell's like a sister to me.
I couldn't abandon them
this Christmas.
And, babe, you know
the time has come
Come on, come on, come on
Play along, play along
And get your
Christmas sweater on
[Chickens clucking]
SIMON: Ooh, shit,
fuck, oh, fuck!
Fly!
[Chicken clucks, thuds]
Fuck!
Fuck!
Yeah, babe
Put your Christmas
sweater on
It's got to be done
God, I love Christmas songs.
You know you know it!
You know it! Just sing it!
Be the only one
You light up
everybody's faces
- Mom!
- Yeah?
ART: I've cut myself, Mom.
Fuck!
I'm coming!
Play along, play along
And get the Christmas
sweater on
NELL: I'm coming, I'm coming.
Did you find a plaster?
ART: No.
Did you bleed on the carrots?
Really, Mom?
Will I die?
NELL: Yeah, probably.
[Spitting] Give it.
- Oh, Mom!
- Oh, you'll be fine.
Did you rinse them first?
Yep, and the parsnips.
- Where are your brothers
- Uh, on the PlayStation.
Bastards. They're supposed
to be in the bath.
ART: We haven't got long, Mom.
NELL: I know, darling.
They'll be here soon.
Oh, shit, I'm not
a fucking waitress.
[Sighs]
Belinda's still in there.
She won't bloody leave.
NELL: Haven't made enough.
You sure your mother
wants them let out?
She thinks it's kinder if the
foxes get them first.
- Yeah, maybe.
- You promised you'd let me
light the fireworks later.
Yes, I said I would.
You look great.
Ooh, ooh.
- [Spits]
- D...
Oh, shit, where are the boys?
Uh, on PlayStation.
SIMON: Bastards.
- I could...
- Boys! Bath!
[Children shouting]
You look perfect.
I don't hear a lot of movement!
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Come on, Belinda.
Be free and be brave.
Prspero ao y felicidad
I wanna wish you
a merry Christmas
Oh, and remember no TV, okay?
And no iPhones, no Googling,
and, for the love of God,
no arguing with Kitty.
I think she's annoying
but just make an effort,
all right?
- She's a pain in the ass, Dad.
- Language, Thomas.
You said we could.
Yeah, I know,
but there's now need
to get carried away, chaps.
Come on.
Is Kitty allowed to swear?
Probably.
You said everyone
was allowed to swear.
Yeah, I did.
[Car approaches, horn honks]
Oh, Jesus, they're early.
This is important.
Don't drown.
How do I look good?
- Good.
- Good.
That's why I love you.
Right, it's not time
for a soak, so hurry up, chaps.
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prspero ao y felicidad
Oh, fuck. Sing to me.
Yes, darling?
They're beautiful. Thank you.
Sandra picked them from
the neighbor's garden.
It didn't take her very long.
Oh, okay, lovely.
- Ah, Kitty.
- Is the sticky toffee
pudding ready?
Sandra promised that there
would be sticky toffee pudding.
Yes, absolutely.
Where's Art?
Uh...
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Wow.
Kitty's university fund.
Oh, why didn't I think of that?
You did saved me your old room?
Fucking sticky toffee pudding,
I forgot.
- Oh, no, fuck.
- Sorry.
She's gonna kill me. Tony!
Tony?
- Tony.
- Yes, mother?
Nell forgot toffee.
- Oh, crumbs.
- What?
Kidding. Your mom's kidding.
Come on.
Let's find Art.
Go to the garage, darling.
There's a Tesco drive-in
right down the road.
What if it's shut?
Find a mallet.
Break a fucking window!
- I don't know.
- I suppose so.
- Simon, have you got a mallet?
- What?
Simon?
Art?
Art?
You need a hand, darling?
Um, yeah, actually.
If you could just
grab one and wait.
All right.
Oh!
Mm!
Oh.
Darling.
You look impossibly
beautiful as ever.
Thank you, my love.
Where's Sandra? I want room
before she nabs it.
Oh.
- What?!
- I know.
- Oh.
- I know, I know.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Alex didn't have to pay.
We had a rather regretful
exchange with an Arab lady
and her surprisingly
fierce bodyguard.
- Oh, happened?!
- Oh, yeah, Alex got caught
in the crossfire.
It was very un-PC of me,
smacking a lady in a burqa.
Does it hurt?
Um, yeah, it does.
Does it?
- Why did you say something?
- I did.
Oh, God. Is Kitty here?
- With a bow in her hair.
- [Groans]
Slightly hoping they'd
put her down already.
Behave.
Remember, tonight is
all about love and forgiveness.
Oh, exciting.
Who are we forgiving?
Ourselves, of course.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, thank you
for coming, sweetheart.
I don't know what we would
have done without Bella.
Mind you, she's very naughty.
She should have
stolen something for you, too.
Art?
- Hi.
- What the fuck?
Get the fuck out, Kitty.
Nope. I want to watch.
My mother said since tonight is
a special occasion,
you have to be
especially nice to me.
- No fucking way.
- Swearing is common.
- Out mom swears.
- Exactly.
- What's going on?
- They made me.
- No, we didn't.
- No, we didn't.
Shut the fuck up, Kitty.
We all know you're full of shit.
- Excuse me?
- I said shut the fuck up.
- [Laughing]
- Mum!
BELLA: Are you coping, darling?
Yes?
NELL: Yeah, just.
The boys upset?
Uh, well, they will be
when they see
I don't have enough potatoes.
You're worried about potatoes?
Yes. Waitrose was empty,
and James eats a lot.
Well, Sophie doesn't.
God, how's she do it?
Remember how hard we tried?
Coke helped,
and then the kids came.
It was kids or coke.
You wanted to be anorexic?
BELLA: She looked great.
You looked great.
Sandra wants me
to apologize to Kitty.
Did you call her a cunt?
Because we said that
that word was out of bounds.
You should have done.
Art! Apologize.
It's Christmas, darling.
What would baby Jesus say?
You're joking, right?
[Sighs]
Sorry, Kitty.
Good boy, Art.
You're such a good boy.
You just called me an asshole.
Well, you can be.
- What, I...
- Sorry.
All right, all right, come on,
piss off, piss off.
That doesn't mean you won, okay?
Just little stripper.
Look at this.
Oh, I took Nell's room.
You don't mind, do you?
Fine.
Oh, can I have
sparkling water, please?
Oh, shit, yes, sorry.
Of course. Um...
Fanta.
You like Fanta, darling.
Do I?
I'm so sorry. All of the water
was gone, even the shit stuff.
Did Lizzy call?
I thought Lizzy was coming.
Bella, you said Lizzy
was coming.
Bella?
- Did you invite her?
- Did you?
Yes, I said,
"Don't forget to call Lizzy."
No, no, you did not.
You said you would call Lizzy.
Why would I call her?
I don't like her.
Don't you?
I've never liked her.
No, she hasn't.
Doesn't mean I want her
to be alone, though,
Fuck.
I would have put up with her.
I really like Lizzy.
And that is why I love you,
darling.
Always so generous.
Every inch of you, generous.
Do you guys have a lot of sex?
Yeah, loads. Fucking loads,
Don't we?
- Exhausting.
- God, exhausting.
- Just give me one sec.
- You sure?
I'll meet you in there, yeah.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Just one second.
JAMES: Okay.
- [Sighs]
- Nell!
- Oh, James!
- Smells gorgeous in here.
- Oh, thank you.
- You look amazing.
Do I? I don't look old?
God, we're all getting old.
We were getting old.
[Door opens]
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Sophie!
I didn't see you.
Oh, let me take this.
God, come in.
You must be freezing.
Why?
Oh, don't bother.
James told me you all
think I'm anorexic.
- James, no we don't!
- Yes, we do, darling.
- [Laughs]
- Hi, Sandra.
Oh. How old are you again?
You asked me that last time.
- Oh, did I?
- Yes.
- Ah!
- Sandra.
[Sandra moaning]
Charming.
Uh, let him go, sweetheart.
Oh, do I have to?
Uh, is Kitty here?
Of course. She couldn't exactly
leave her at home, could she?
- No.
- No.
No, no, of course not,
especially because
we made a pact.
- I didn't make a pact.
- Oh, we did.
Uh, tonight is all
about truth and love.
And, you know,
you're with James,
so that counts as making
a pact, right, darling?
Fuck. Where's Lizzy?
[Sighs]
Come on, pooch.
We make tremendous criminals.
That felt so bloody good.
- Tony? Tony?
- Yes, my love?
Oh, you got them. Excellent!
Well done!
Pass them over.
James and Sophie are fighting.
James and Sophie are fighting.
Ooh.
You haven't.
You haven't told them?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Shh.
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
How old is she again?
- 15.
- She can't be 15.
Okay, 20.
SOPHIE:
How am I supposed to feel?
Are you ashamed?
Why would I be ashamed?
- Is it like a posh thing?
- What? No.
I've just noticed posh people
like to keep secrets.
JAMES: It's... it's depressing.
It's depressing?
I mean, it's painful for them.
They don't have a choice,
Sophie.
- Yes, they do.
- They don't.
Well, they do.
They don't,
and they wouldn't understand.
What wouldn't we understand?
JAMES: Trivial pursuits.
You are unbelievably bad
at the geography questions.
So I didn't bring it because
I didn't want to embarrass you.
But I'm really fucking good.
at articulate.
JAMES: [Laughs]
Alright, show me.
- Salt and pepper?
- Ah, salt and pepper.
Here, yes, and spoons, yes.
And yeah, spoons.
Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Merry Christmas.
- Happy Christmas
At least we won't have to
play trivial pursuits, right?
Oh, are we not?
Long time ago in Bethlehem
So the Holy Bible says
Mary's boy child,
Jesus Christ
Was born on Christmas day
Hark, now hear
the angels sing
A king was born today
And man will live
forever more
Because of Christmas day
Mary's boy child,
Jesus Christ
Was born on Christmas day
Oh, marvelous.
It's just one potato each.
I'm really sorry.
It's just one for everyone?
Yes.
What, so just half for the boys?
There's one,
there's one for everyone.
- They're half our size.
- One.
Mm.
Real crunchy.
- Shall we say, Grace?
- What a good idea.
- What a good idea.
- Yes!
- Lovely, lovely.
- Good idea.
Right.
- Simon?
- Sure. Um...
Where to start? Uh...
God.
God, yes, dear God.
May we thank you
for my wife's culinary talents?
- Mm-hmm.
- Um...
Also an important, uh...
Um...
For our beautiful friends,
Yes.
For our beautiful children
And for the food on our table,
for the lives that we've shared.
For...
Oh, for, uh...
the promise of love.
And happiness
And health and safety,
health and safety.
In your in your beautiful,
really beautiful...
Fun! Let's not forget how fun
it's going to be up there.
In your in your fun,
beautiful, safe...
Kingdom. Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen!
- Let's eat.
- Alright.
- Crack on, everyone.
- Yummy.
- I...
- Where is the gravy?
- Here comes the gravy boat.
- Lovely.
[Indistinct talking]
- Delicious, darling.
- Really lovely.
- Terrific.
- Really, really good.
Did anyone watch
the Queen's speech?
- Didn't see it myself.
- Well, she's clearly
in some bunker set up, you know?
Filled with tins
of baked beans and dog food.
- Oh. [Laughs]
- Absolutely.
No. Who'd want to live in a hole
and eat dog food for 100 years?
Dog food for
the, uh, dogs, darling.
Oh. [Laughs] Sorry.
SANDRA:
Knock yourselves out, boys.
I don't think she's in
a hole with dog food.
I mean, I heard her.
She sounded sad.
She's an old woman,
so it's fine.
Excuse me?
Who said it's fine
because she's old?
Oh, come on, Sophie.
You know what she means.
You mean that old people
don't matter
because they've had their time,
so now they can die?
Darling. What's going on?
I just don't think we should
teach our children
that old people don't matter.
Our children.
Maybe Kitty didn't
quite mean it...
- Oh, you wouldn't understand.
- What wouldn't she understand?
Well, you're not parents.
Oh, of course, of course.
Sorry, I forgot.
Darling, were psychopaths
because we've never
- given birth.
- Of course you're not.
Sandra, just...
Let's just leave it.
Just leave it.
SOPHIE: I mean,
how do we measure life
and who's worth what?
Well, I'm worth nothing.
Completely broke. Not a bean.
Sorry, darling.
I know what you meant.
Please, let's not fight.
Especially not before
the sticky toffee pudding.
Right, Kitty?
Sorry, what is this all about?
Did someone upset you, darling?
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Sophie had a difficult night
last night, didn't you, darling?
- Tell us.
- Please don't, Sophie.
It was horrible.
How was it horrible?
Darling, I don't think
right now is the time to share.
We had dinner.
We sang Celine Dion songs.
And... and we danced to Britney.
We laughed.
And we cried and said
that we loved each other.
- That sounds perfect.
- I wanted to be there
and... and be
a witness for them.
Maybe it sounds stupid,
but I wanted them to know
- that... that...
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay, well done, Sophie.
- Somebody that they loved
- and trusted would witness...
- Very honorable.
Uh, while I'm up,
I have an announcement,
and that is for those that
have room,
there is a delectable
cheese plate.
[Imitating trumpet]
[Chuckles] But, uh also,
I think it's time for us
to raise a glass to the chef.
To my wife. Love of my life.
- Nell!
- To Nell!
[Cheering]
- Merry Christmas.
- Cheers!
I just think we should be honest
with the kids, that's all.
Jesus Christ.
Mum hasn't lied to us,
and we've seen the news.
When?
KITTY: We know the Russians
want us all dead.
They're sending poisonous gas
to kill us all in the morning.
- The Russians?
- What?
KITTY: Yeah, they're obsessed
with world domination.
Don't be ridiculous, Kitty.
It's not the Russians.
- It's a planet, Kitty.
- It's very upset.
ART: Kitty, for years,
the planet's absorbed
everyone's filthy rubbish,
and it's had enough.
It can't take it anymore,
so it's spitting it back out
as a "fuck you" to the world,
- That's right, Kitty.
- We've taken the earth
for granted, haven't we, Dad?
Mm-hmm.
KITTY: Nonsense. It's
the Russians sending the gas.
You can't always blame
the fucking Russians, Kitty!
- Dad, tell Art.
- Look, Kitty.
Greta warned us.
She missed all that school.
She spent weeks seasick.
She even met Leonardo DiCaprio.
And still, no one
listened to her.
Sorry.
You should all be ashamed
of yourselves.
You are such clever,
clever boys.
- I'm clever, too.
- Yes, you are, my darling.
- It's a fucking mess.
- Stop swearing.
- No!
- Look, Art.
It's not all bad.
We're still luckier than some.
Aren't we, Dad?
At least our government
doesn't want us to suffer.
You mean like those poor
African kids who slowly
bled to death, puking out their
guts as the intestines turned
to bloody mush?
You mean like them?
Yes, because my guts are going
to turn to bloody mush.
How do you know?
Art, stop it, please.
It's true, Art. Kitty's right.
At least our government
has a plan.
It's not a plan,
it's a disaster.
[Indistinct chatter]
Stage one...
toxic inhalation.
Stage two... attack
on the nervous system.
Stage three...
fatal hemorrhaging.
Take your exit pill,
avoid suffering,
and die with dignity.
NELL: Everyone's life matters.
We just want to make sure
that you understand
that as your parents,
we are not to blame.
This is not our choice,
and this is not our fault.
I mean, clearly, it's not
your fault, either.
It's...
But we are not responsible
for the poison, the pills...
We're just trying to do what is
best for us all,
uh, to protect you
so that, um...
so that you don't suffer
because suffering is bad.
And in this case,
completely unnecessary.
Yeah.
We all deserve to live,
especially old people.
Yeah.
And we know that
this is the right thing to do.
- Yes.
- Don't we?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
And we love you very much.
We love you very much.
You know that
we love you, right?
Yeah, I suppose so.
Yes, Sandra, I think so.
- Yes, mom.
- Yes, mom, we know.
[Mouthing words]
[Timer ringing]
- Sticky toffee pudding!
- Sticky toffee pudding!
Oh!
Mm.
Oh.
Ugh.
- Debbie Does Dallas.
- George, George.
[Groans]
- Wa... wa... wavy woman.
- "The Wizard of Oz"?
"The Wizard of Oz"!
"The Wizard of Oz"!
- Oh, "The Snowman"!
- Four words, dummy!
The snowman comes to tea.
- Exotic dancer.
- Is it a Demi Moore film?
- "Die Hard: Die Harder."
- "Black Swan"!
Fucking hell, four words.
[Growling]
That is exactly how she looked
when she gave birth
- to the twins.
- [Groans]
- "Bambi"?
- "Fantastic Mr. Fox."
- Things are looking up.
- "The Fox and the Hound"?
Give us a clue. Sounds like?
Oh, "The Day After Tomorrow"!
- Yes!
- Yes!
- How?
- Are you kidding me?
SIMON: Fuck me, Batman.
Did you get that
from the hospital?
[Groans]
Were you when the...
for the patients to see?
Hm.
I'll admit it.
I'm scared.
- Sophie's pregnant.
- Oh, that's terrific.
- James, no.
- Didn't exactly plan it.
- What, the poison?
- No, the baby, Tony.
- Is it a baby?
- How many weeks?
Still early days.
She hasn't decided yet.
On having the baby?
The pill, Tony. She hasn't
decided about the pill. Right?
Mm.
Are you insane?
She has a choice.
No, she doesn't.
What do you mean?
We made a pact.
You understand,
we don't have a choice.
I do. But she does.
Why wouldn't she?
Doesn't want to hurt the baby.
- It's insensitive.
- It's not the same.
Or is us killing our kids.
We're not killing our kids.
Tony.
No, you're right, you're right.
It's very different.
There's no escaping poison.
- I know.
- Leave it, Tony.
Unless she's some sort
of fucking superwoman.
Don't be insulting.
Can't change her mind.
Believe me, I've tried.
Can't fucking make her.
Yes, well, don't tell Sandra.
She'll kill her.
[Chuckles] Not literally.
James.
Sophie has to keep
this to herself.
It won't help telling the kids.
They won't understand.
Can't protect them, James.
- I know.
- Do you?
Yes.
Sorry, James.
You'd have been
such a great father.
[Sighs] Shit balls.
- [Gasps]
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Yes.
Hey! Wow.
- Look at her.
- Bravo.
Daddy, she's beautiful!
And if you pull the string
on her back,
she actually talks like you.
- The doll talks like Kitty?
- Yeah.
You can upload an app.
It's actually quite cool.
SANDRA: Oh.
DOLL: I love you, daddy.
You're the best daddy
in the whole wide world.
Thank you, daddy!
- Aw.
- Aw, I love you, sport.
- Aw!
- Aw!
- So sweet.
- Thank you.
Oh, oh.
Don't I get a hug, darling?
Come on.
No, thank you.
Why not?
Because you're wearing
my education on your feet.
You don't need it anymore.
Just... just give me a hug.
KITTY: I'm not hugging you.
SANDRA: Oh, darling,
I deserve a hug.
KITTY: Nope.
SANDRA: Well, just
a teensy-weensy,
ittle-bittle, teeny-weeny little
baby hug, darling?
KITTY: Drop it, Sandra.
Tony, speak up.
Just fucking... Jesus Christ,
just fucking hug your mum
so we open the rest of these
stupid fucking presents
before you should fucking
Russians kill us all.
Oh. Well, best do what
Psycho says.
And what's with the stupid
fucking bow in her hair?
All right, Art, don't take
the fucking piss.
[Box thuds]
Does that mean
you don't want it, then?
Dibs on it first.
- I'll go.
- I'll go.
- Children.
- Love you.
Don't approach anything without
the Prosecco.
- Just like you.
- I love you, Daddy.
You're the best daddy
in the whole world.
Go on, boys. Have a go.
- Okay, that's gonna...
- Wow, wow.
- Give it back.
- I really want to hit her.
No, no, you can't hit Kitty.
Like it isn't cruel enough
to give us toys
we can't even play with.
It's so wrong.
And so stupid.
Do you mom know
you're actually stupid?
Well, your mom's always been
a little bit daft.
We just wanted you to be happy.
The batteries are going
to last longer than us.
I'm so sorry, Art.
Is it true that some people
haven't been given a pill?
Who told you that?
Just tell me the truth.
Yes.
Homeless people
and illegal immigrants.
They won't have been
given the pill.
Why?
Because...
according to the government,
they don't legally exist.
Of course they do.
Not in their system, they don't.
It's complicated.
That's wrong. They're going to
die horrible, horrible deaths.
We have to help them.
Don't be ridiculous, Art.
I'm not ridiculous.
We can't even help ourselves.
All we can do is...
...take our pills
and choose not to suffer.
We have a choice.
No, no.
We don't have a choice. No.
[Indistinct chatter]
Hang on, wind action.
Wind, wind, wind.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Okay.
[All shouting]
[Fireworks exploding]
[Sniffs]
Shh.
Shh.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, we had fun at school.
BELLA: Do you remember when
they had us clearing leaves
from the bottom pitch?
It took us days.
They just kept falling.
You called the headmaster
a pervert.
He accused me of stealing
Mars bars from the kitchen.
- But did you?
- Yes, of course.
But what was he doing
following me into the kitchen
in the middle of the night?
Oh, I think we know why.
Yes, we did, dirty bugger.
Dirty bugger.
I think I was trying
to do the same.
Do you need a hand with that?
- She's fine.
- Me? No, I'm fine.
[Chair scraping]
Love Scrabble.
Just to keep me company.
Oh, I'm just so thirsty.
SANDRA: Nell was
always the youngest.
NELL: No, I wasn't
the youngest, James was.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
Oh, you were so adorable.
Bella was always the oldest.
[Scrabble pieces rattling]
Anyone want to play
Scrabble with me?
Yes, um, actually, Sandra didn't
talk to me till we were 15.
Oh, come on.
In fact, none of you did.
That's 'cause you were
terribly boring.
- [Laughter]
- Boring?
I thought you loved me.
I was just very grateful
you didn't want scratch my back.
Oh, you love having
your back scratched.
With you, dear, yes.
And James arrived from Nigeria
with his school fees
and his suitcase.
- Mm.
- You were very African
when you arrived.
Come on, you sound like Mowgli
from "The Jungle Book."
Didn't Mowgli have
an American accent?
I think Mowgli's from India.
How come you never fucked me?
- Wow. Wow.
- Jesus, Sandra.
- I just was wondering.
- James, I'm so sorry.
Please do not apologize
for me, darling.
No, that's right. You should
probably apologize for yourself.
Oh, keep your knickers on.
You know, it's just something
that always bothered me.
You know?
Everyone wanted to fuck me.
I didn't.
Why not?
Just never really did it for me.
[Chuckles]
I never knew that.
- Did you know that, Nell?
- No.
Did you know that
her husband didn't want
to have sex with you?
Yes, because I just assumed
everyone did, okay?
Stop being so judgy.
It was hard not to be, actually.
Oh, you fancy
Ms. Skinny Pants next door, hm?
Ms. Potato face?
Miss Americana? Hm?
[Laughs]
Oh, come on, James.
Don't go all shy on us now.
I actually love Sophie.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it.
- I'm sorry. I really...
- Hey, hey, hey.
She's a good person.
[Chuckles]
Oh, wow.
Don't. Don't make me cruel.
I don't want to be cruel to you.
SANDRA: What is this, James,
Is it pity, hm?
Do you know pity me?
No one pities you, Sandra.
They tolerate you,
but they don't pity you.
How the fuck would you know?
Calm down, Sandra.
Piss off, Simon!
Oh, God.
When we heard about
what was going to happen
and I realized that I'd...
well, I'd never get to...
- I'd never get to...
- Never get the fuck James?
- [Sighs]
- I get it.
You want to fuck James, too?
- No.
- Why not?
- Looks exactly like James Bond.
- What are you talking about?
- He does.
- I do.
I get it. You guys.
Fuck, you were best friends.
We're all going to die,
so you...
- Fuck, you might as well...
- Fuck James.
Ask! Tony, might as well ask.
Don't be simple, Tony.
This isn't about you and Sandra.
- Clearly.
- This is about before
you and Sandra.
We were best friends,
and I loved you.
I really, really loved you.
I loved you, too.
Great.
But when Mr. Tanner...
When Mr Tanner, when he...
I couldn't forgive you.
And you didn't want to, I know
that, and he was a disgrace.
I didn't understand.
I felt rejected,
and I was consumed by jealousy.
What are you talking about?
JAMES: He took you away from me,
and I hated you for that.
What the fuck's
he talking about?
- And then I hated myself.
- Simon, what's going on?
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- It's okay, James.
- I was wrong to blame you.
You were just a child.
It's okay, Nell.
It's okay, right?
No.
No, it's not okay.
- No, I know. I was...
- Yes.
- You were.
- Dear.
Tony, darling, look...
I'm sorry, Sandra.
Tony darling isn't here.
It wasn't James' fault.
No.
Of course it wasn't.
But you didn't do anything.
Did you?
And it slithered away
like a... like a...
Like some sort of coward.
- Tony.
- [Coughs]
- Tony, darling.
- What?
Look, we've all done things
we regret.
- What?
- Yes.
Darling, haven't you ever
made a mistake?
No, I haven't. No, no.
Not of this magnitude.
- No? Never?
- No, I haven't.
- Surely.
- No.
- No?
- No, not once.
- Once?
- What are you talking about?
- Darling, surely...
- I still have things to say.
- What?
- Oh, fuck.
What?!
Me and Tone.
You had sex with Tony?!
[Gasps]
Years ago.
I fucking hope so!
- I told you.
- When?!
Uh...
Uh...
I don't know, I can't remember,
but I remember telling you
that I had done you
and Tony a favor.
Fucking Tony was a favor?
BELLA: Yes, Sandra.
Actually rather heroic.
Heroic?
[Laughter]
What the fuck?
BELLA: I was killing two birds
with one stone.
I had to try shagging
a bloke and...
Shut the fuck up.
Why not be of service
to you both?
I was fundamentally
instrumental in getting you
back together again.
Mm.
Given the circumstances,
sort of an act of
sacrificial love.
Yes! yes!
It is that. It fucking was!
- Yeah, yeah.
- It was!
Right, Tony? Bella was just
trying to boost your ego.
- Didn't fucking work!
- Didn't fucking work!
[Laughter]
NELL: Okay. Okay.
Here's to us.
- May we rest in love.
- Yes! In love.
In love. Come on.
Come on, stand up.
Come on, San, come on, Tone.
- Come on. It's Christmas.
- Come on. Come on, come on.
There we go.
All right.
Oh, that was intense.
Tone, we okay?
Yeah.
These twisters are
a precursor to the cloud
arriving and carry
poisonous gases.
Avoid suffering.
Take your exit pill
and die with dignity.
Art, can I come in?
Sure.
[Door closes]
You okay?
What are you doing?
Please don't tell my dad.
No, I won't.
I can't help it.
I don't know what else to do.
I understand.
SIMON: Art?
Come on. Got to call Grandma.
- Cool, great.
- Yeah.
[Sighs] This is typical
fucking Lizzy.
She's not even here,
and she's ruining the vibe.
LIZZY: Hi.
Yeah, you've reached Lizzy.
Yeah, leave me a message!
[Alex mumbles indistinctly]
You are completely pissed.
I'm fine.
I'm fine. I just...
I need a little snooze.
BELLA: Oh, be careful.
- Hey!
- Yeah, okay, okay.
You promised me.
I can't help it.
They're so mean.
BELLA: Oh!
Fucking hell.
Oh.
I miss my mom.
Mm.
[Door opens]
[Sighs] Oh, God.
BELLA: Alex is asleep.
Already?!
No, no.
Just drunk.
Are we really going to die?
I know I'm not brave.
Um...
can't even cope with a cold.
But you believe the government?
Oh, no.
They killed Diana.
Shit.
We've seen it everywhere
on the news.
The unimaginable horrors
that have happened
all over the world.
I mean, you cannot
make this shit up.
And I've seen the road.
And there is no fucking way
I am living like that.
I can't do post-apocalyptic
monochrome.
I've never seen it.
Should I?
BELLA: No, no.
It's fucking miserable.
Oh, poor Al. She wouldn't
cope on her own.
She's far too fragile.
You know?
Yeah.
She is.
Darling, can you see her
running away from zombies?
Not in a hurry. No.
[Laughs]
Oh.
We should have all voted Green.
Fucking conservatives.
[Ringing]
- Hey!
- Grandma!
Hello, boys.
Happy Christmas.
You're still alive!
Yes, I think so.
Grandma, is the Queen dead?
Oh, I don't know, darling.
Is she in a bunker full
of dog food?
Yes, quite possibly.
She should be prepared to die
with the rest of her people.
Oh, darling.
Are you having a bad night?
Tony and Simon robbed
the petrol station.
- Oh, what fun?
- Hmm.
Kitty wanted
sticky toffee pudding.
GRANDMA: Yes, excellent choice.
Thanks for lending us
the house, mum.
- Thank you so much.
- It's been so lovely
to have everyone back together.
Just brilliant.
We miss you, though.
I wish you weren't so far away.
Well, yes. Um, darling,
I best go. I...
I've got to Zoom
the bridge girls.
Mum, mum, please wait.
Nellie, it's all right.
Your father's up there
waiting for us all.
He'll be so thrilled to see you.
- Mom?
- Goodbye, my darling girl.
- Mom, are you okay?
- Hang in there.
Goodbye, Simon.
ART: Grandma?
Where did Grandma go?
[Rumbling]
I didn't event get to say
goodbye to her.
[Indistinct talking]
Call her back.
No, darling.
I didn't get to say
goodbye to her!
[Gasps]
Please, Dad.
No, boys. I'm sorry.
Stop being such an asshole
and call her back!
I said no, Art. That's it.
Darling?
[Explosions, rumbling]
[Wind whistling]
NELL: My poor mother!
She's all alone!
SIMON: Darling.
I need you, Nell.
Come on.
Come on.
Dance with me.
[Laughs]
[Knocking]
Can I come in?
Of course you can.
You're a... you're a a doctor,
right?
A cancer doctor.
Yes, I am.
So you know about death.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not going to take the pill.
It won't hurt you, Art.
Well, it will. It'll kill me.
I mean, it's painless.
I'm not scared of pain.
Oh, Art.
You don't know
anything about pain.
I know don't want to die.
Pain...
Pain is... intolerable.
Pain is why some people
choose to die.
Well, I don't care,
I'm not taking it.
Okay. Okay.
Wait. Where are you going
To get his parents.
Maybe somewhere somebody
has survived the gas.
Not one single being survived.
Says who?
The people who know.
- You mean the government?
- Yes.
And scientists.
But what if they're wrong?
Excuse me?
Last time, Mr. Fullam,
my math teacher,
well, he got something wrong,
he didn't realize it at first,
and he told poor Tommy
off for challenging him,
but he had to find Tommy after
break and apologize to him
because Tommy was right
and Mr. Fullam was wrong.
He's very clever, Tommy.
Well, is Tommy taking the pill?
Probably. His mother hates him.
What if the best scientist died,
and then... and then
the lazy one took over, and then
the lazy one went home
one night, and forgot to upload
some file, and then...
and then died in the morning?
What if one of the shit
scientists is in charge
of whether I live or die?
JAMES: Hey, hey.
This isn't pretend, Art.
There isn't someone somewhere
who's made a mistake.
People don't generally know
they made a mistake
until they've made it,
and then we'll all be dead,
and then there won't be
anyone to apologize to.
JAMES: I'm sorry.
I really am.
But I can't make this
better for you.
Well, what about
those poor people?
Who's going to hold their hand
while they die in pain?
JAMES: Life isn't fair, Art.
That's what people say when they
don't want to find a solution.
You can't help them.
But you can. You're a doctor.
You're supposed to save people.
[Up tempo music playing]
Baby, look at me
And tell me what you see
You ain't seen
the best of me yet
Give me time, I'll make
you forget the rest
I got more in me
And you can set it free
I can catch the moon
in my hand
Don't you know who I am?
Remember my name
Fame!
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly
High
I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
Fame!
I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky
like a flame
Fame!
I'm gonna live forever
Baby, remember my name
Hey, you're very kind boy, Art.
I'm not kind.
I just don't want to give up,
and I don't think
anyone else should either.
[Sniffles]
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin
Mother and child
Holy infant
so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
I'm pregnant.
So I'm not going
to take the pill.
Does being pregnant
mean you won't die?
I will, but not from the pill.
I don't want to kill my baby.
- [Door opens]
- NELL: Art?
What's going on?
Sophie's pregnant. She doesn't
want to kill her baby.
So she's not going to the pill,
so I'm going to stay alive
and hold her hand when she dies.
Is that cool with you?
Simon!
Yay!
ART: You're overreacting.
NELL: I am your mother Art,
- I know.
- Not her.
- I know.
- You don't just ask
- some stranger.
- She's hardly a stranger.
- Oh, shut up.
- You shut up.
- You shut up.
- No, you shut up.
- You shut up.
- You shut up.
- Shut up!
- Stop copying me, you stu...
Don't you talk
to your mother like that!
At least Sophie cares
about her child.
- How dare you?!
- How dare you?!
What's going on, Art?
I'm taking that fucking pill.
Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you fucking are.
- No, I'm fucking not.
- Stop swearing.
See, you made a rule,
and you can't even stick to it.
We are your parents.
You want to murder me.
Just stop. Stop it. Stop it.
God says thou shall not kill.
Fuck God!
- I knew it.
- He just tricked you.
Yes, I know.
So you don't even believe
in God. You're just afraid.
Yes, I-I am.
I am... I am afraid.
I am absolutely terrified.
Please, Dad, stay with me.
We can hide from
the poison together.
We can... we can
shut the windows,
and we can barricade the doors,
and we can wait it out.
Please, Dad, I need a grown up.
I can't do it on my own.
It'll be airborne, Art.
It will travel
through the windows,
the doors, the water pipes.
You can't hide from it, Art.
It will kill anything and anyone
that is still alive.
SIMON: Yes.
I don't believe you.
Okay, come here. Come here.
Your father and I have discussed
this over and over again.
We have discussed
every possible option.
If... if... if we don't
take the pill,
if you don't take the pill,
if... if your brothers
don't take the pill...
look at me, look at me.
But the outcome
is always the same.
And in no particular order.
We will all die one by one.
And you will be left crying
with no one to comfort you.
And I can't do that.
I can't let babies suffer alone.
I don't mind anymore.
What?
I said I don't mind anymore.
We're your family, Art.
Not if you kill me, we're not.
NELL: Art!
- SIMON: Art?
- NELL: Art!
[Birds squawking]
NELL: Art, come back.
You're scaring me.
[Rumbling]
Art?!
[Wind whistling]
[Rumbling]
ART: Belinda?
[Chickens clucking]
SIMON: Art!
Art!
Where are you?!
[Music playing on radio]
Be the only one
Christmas sweater on
[Screams]
[Art screaming]
Art! Art!
Simon!
[Screams]
SIMON: Art!
[Screaming]
Jesus Christ.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[Sobbing]
We have to... Come on! Go!
Come on! Come on!
Watch it!
Run!
[Art screams]
Get inside! Get inside!
[Screaming]
[Up tempo music playing]
Set them free
Free, free, set them free
Set them free
SIMON: Kids, go to your room.
Set them free
What's happened?
- Now!
- Is he okay?
- He's upset.
- Mommy.
Shall I take him upstairs?
Just take the twins
to their room. Go.
- Mommy?
- Okay, come, kids.
Come on, boys.
Come on, quick, quick.
I'll be up in a minute.
- Don't be creepy.
- Simon, let me help.
- Fuck off.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- I'm sorry.
- Just... Just give me a second.
Just let me take him
upstairs to Nell.
Let him take him to Nell.
Hey.
Here, champ, I got you.
It's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay.
I got you. Tony.
[Sobbing]
SOPHIE: It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
[Sighs]
Fuck!
I got you.
They're all fucking dead.
Who's dead?
Here you are. It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
Just go get Nell.
I'm going to check on Simon.
Okay.
We're going to get
your mom, okay?
We'll go and get your mom.
It's gonna be okay.
Who's dead?
They're all fucking dead, Tony.
Of course they are.
Most of the world's dead.
[Simon sobbing]
[Sobs]
JAMES: Art's okay.
He's upstairs with Nell.
[Groans]
SOPHIE: Don't swallow.
I'm sorry. I can't understand.
What is it? What is it?
SIMON: I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Just breathe.
Now, if you can,
start from the beginning.
I went and took the chickens...
I took the chickens out
at about 12:30 p.m.
Sorry, are you joking?
Tell us what happened?
Hey, hey.
[Sobbing] Art ran off.
And I found him...
I found him on the side
of the road with this car.
And they were all dead, James.
There was even a baby.
[Sobs]
I'll go get your mom.
[Door closes]
Nell? Nell?
[Art gasps]
[Gags]
[Groans, gasps]
But then the wind changed,
and then all I could
hear Art screaming.
[Loud thudding]
Tony, don't!
- Simon.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Simon, the bodies, the bodies,
was there any blood
in the ears, eyes, mouth?
Vomit?
Were they sweating?
Was there urine?
TONY: Stop it, James.
Just stop it!
Poison's not coming
till tomorrow.
It is tomorrow.
I'll go and check on Art.
I was just checking on Art.
No, no.
I get it. You're pregnant.
And that is unimaginable.
But Art is my son.
This is my family, and we have
had enough of you interfering.
Oh. Oh, uh...
Simon, you are a good man.
An excellent father.
And a darling friend.
Hm?
But it is time, hm?
- Mm-hmm?
- Hm.
Let's go.
It's gonna be fine.
[Rumbling]
[Wind whistling]
[Bottles clang]
Shit!
[Kisses]
I love you both.
Go and be with your families.
Go on.
Right behind you.
Cheers.
Shh.
You're my beautiful boy.
Tell me what happened,
sweetheart.
- Art, what happened?
- Do you a hug?
Are you exhausted?
He's exhausted.
It's all right.
Have I always been boring?
[Stammers]
But you're so much more
than that.
What happened out there?
Are you okay, Daddy?
Is Art having a breakdown?
No, he's just, um...
He's just very upset.
Has he calmed down yet?
Yeah.
It's time, boys.
Already?
Yes, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt Nell.
Fuck.
Was I wrong?
Is Art gonna be okay?
You promised us a can each.
I'm not sharing, Dad.
The right, darling.
BELLA: Al?
Please... wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
[Sobbing,
talking indistinctly]
Please wake up!
[Sobbing]
Sorry.
SIMON: Here you go, darling.
It's warm, Dad.
Mine too.
Art, is yours warm?
Yep.
- Dad?
- Dad?
Jesus Christ.
I'll miss you.
[Sobbing]
[Ice cubes clink]
What are you doing?
Sophie...
do you want both of us
and our baby to die in agony?
Because I won't take my pill
if you don't take yours.
- Thank you.
- There you go, darling.
Be careful.
Sorry, mom.
It's all right, sweetheart.
Fucking hell, Hardy!
- It's not my fault.
- Dad must have dropped it.
Did you drop the Coke?
I can't remember.
Fuck's sake.
Shit.
Fucking hell.
Darling.
- Dad.
- Dad.
[Glass thuds]
[Gasps] I haven't
said goodbye to Nell!
I haven't said goodbye to Art.
I haven't said goodbye to Simon.
Hold me. Please, please,
Kitty, just once.
I'll hold you.
No. No, I want Kitty.
Please, darling.
My doll! Baby Kitty!
Oh, no, Kitty, wait. I'll come.
My legs... I can't feel my legs.
Stop.
K-K...
Kitty!
[Gasping]
[Gasps]
[Gags]
[Vomits]
[Retches]
No!
[Footsteps approaching]
SIMON: Say when.
Stop.
SIMON: Compare.
Okay.
SIMON: Happy?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
SIMON: All right.
Palm out.
Palm.
- They're huge.
- Massive.
How are we going
to swallow them?
Mum.
Art.
- Art, darling.
- Art, wake up.
- Art, wake up.
- Art?
- Geez!
- Oh, my God!
[Gasps]
Oh, my God!
SIMON: Shit, shit.
Coke.
- Dad?
- Mum?
Ah.
Okay, did you swallow it?
You swallowed it?
Have you swallowed it?
Yes?
Okay.
[Sobbing]
My baby.
Oh, fuck.
Son.
NELL: Okay.
Alright, everyone.
Everyone get into bed,
close your eyes.
Okay, okay, come on.
On the bed.
[Toilet flushes]
[Alex groans]
Jesus.
How much did I drink?
BELLA: Fucking hell!
For fuck sake!
Where is everyone?
We've got five minutes.
Okay.
Five fucking minutes!
[Gasps]
[Rumbling]
Put your Christmas
sweater on
It's got to be done
The uglier, the better, hon
Don't be the only one
You light up
everybody's faces
And, babe, you know
the time has come
Dad?
It doesn't matter
if you don't look cool
Everybody's trying to learn
the Christmas rule
Remember December
Time has come to go
To get your sweater, baby,
'cause I just can't wait
To come and join the party now
before it gets too late, yeah
[Alex gasps]
Put your Christmas
sweater on
What the fuck, Bella?
You puked up the pill.
Fuckin' piss head.
Don't be the only one
You light up
everybody's faces
And, babe, you know
the time has come
[Alex gasps]
Play along, play along
Get your
Christmas sweater on
[Gasping]
I want you to think of heaven.
I want you to imagine a cloud
that's... a giant cloud
that's made of candy...
Oh, my God!
I haven't said goodbye
to Sandra.
- No.
- No, I have to.
There's no time, Nell. Just...
Just stay with us.
Lie down. Close your eyes.
I love you, Daddy.
You're the best daddy...
[speech slows]
in the whole wide world.
I love you, mom.
I love you, Hardy.
I love you, dad.
I love you, Hardy.
I love you, mom.
I love you, Thomas.
I love you, dad.
I love you, Thomas.
I love you, darling.
Sleep, my darling.
I love you always.
- I love you, Art.
- I love you, Art.
[Sobs]
[Wind whistling]
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Silent night
All is bright
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin
Mother and child
Holy infant
So tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace