Simdi Yandik (2022) Movie Script

WEBVTGet up already!
It's noon!
Wake up, it's noon!
Come on!
Today is a great day, dude
And I'm preparing breakfast.
I'll make you some
scrambled eggs with sausage.
Whoa! I raised the expectations
real high...
Let's say there will
be sausage in the egg.
Get up already!
Mert, you're a pain in my back bro...
Why are you screaming at the
crack of dawn in a tiny apartment?
I studied until morning.
Look, my temples are throbbing.
What's different than yesterday,
for the love of of God.
I look at it and what's different?
The only important thing is that I have a
very difficult and important exam today.
Brother, today is a wonderful day.
Today is our second
anniversary with zlem.
I'm going to propose tonight, son.
I love her so much, I
don't want to prolong it.
We're a very compatible couple,
there's no problem between us.
I say let's not delay,
let's get married right away.
-Are you serious?
-Yeah!
-Really?
-Yes.
I wish you happiness bro.
I swear I'm very happy too,
you wouldn't believe it.
I'm so happy. I'm so happy...
I want to cry my eyes out...
...from happiness, but I can't cry.
I can't fully convey my feelings
to you. Do you know why?
Because if I fail today's exam...
I'll take a victory lap for
one more year, you know?
Otherwise, I'm so happy
for you right now...
...I want to break dance
the middle of the hall...
...on that carpet like in the 80's.
But when I think of my exam...
...arabesque and rap songs
are playing in my head.
And I'm crying Cihat.
Do you understand me?
Okay, okay! Ugh!
Pretend I didn't say anything!
I wanted to share my joy, look
at the things we hear!
Come on, go wash up,
get it together and come, okay?
I will prepare breakfast.
Besides I'll go out when zlem comes.
Look at me!
Where is this Faruk idiot, bro?
Did he come home? I called him
last night and couldn't reach him.
He didn't come. If he had, I would've
heard, because I studied 'till morning.
His phone must've died.
He'd come, he's not a child, bro.
He's up to something
these days, but I don't know.
Let's see, it'll come out soon.
You're going to put sausage
in the egg, aren't you, Merto?
Bro, I swear, these emotional
transitions of yours
will kill me one day.
I will put some, I will.
I'm going to cut it
big like this for you.
There's irony.
Oh fuck!
I forgot the bag.
What's up?
Good morning guys.
What?
What happened?
Faruk, what is this rush?
Nothing bro.
So what did you do?
Have you just woken up?
Has anyone come?
Has anyone asked about me?
-Yes.
-Who?
I just asked Cemil
where has this idiot been.
Son, what's going on? What is this?
You got in trouble or something?
Though you would somehow
get in trouble but...
No, bro.
I was following a small business.
Gee! I wonder what is this business?
Nothing! I just wandered around a bit.
Don't ask what happened to me.
Damn, what happened?
I just said don't ask!
All right. Whatever! I'm going to
my room, I'm going to get some sleep.
Look, I haven't slept until morning.
I ask for some silence.
Please, Mert.
Don't forget the sausages, right?
No thin cuts.
I want them this thick.
Boy, he turned out to be
a sausage freak! Good God! OK!
Faruk, are you hungry?
I'm preparing breakfast.
Shall I get you something too?
-They're going to get me really bad, bro.
-I don't understand...
No, nothing. Nothing bro, get some.
You get some too.
There's something going on with you,
but let's wait.
It'll come out soon anyway.
It came out, it came out.
Oh God, just let me get out of this!
I will sacrifice a sheep. Sheep.
No, an ox. An ox.
I will sacrifice an ox.
No. Camel! I will sacrifice a camel.
Rubbish! Elephant!
I will sacrifice an elephant, my God.
Guys, would an elephant be approved?
Did you say something, Faruk?
No bro, no, no.
I didn't say anything, no.
Faruk, you stupid, idiot.
Would an elephant ever be approved?
With a trunk and all...
Sheep is the best. It's also cheap...
They're cute animals too.
I'd die for them.
My God, what am I saying!
Yes.
Yes, okay. Good.
But this is so good.
This would block them for a while.
And once we put this...
-No way!
-What? What happened? You see someone?
-Did you hear something? What happened?
-Brother, are you sick?
Why are you making barricade
in the middle of our house?
My dear Mert, it's like this, brother.
Have you never watched a zombie movie?
Now if there was a zombie invasion...
...if these hellraisers
would come to our door...
...if they wanted to bite you, me,
Cemil, Cemil the most...
...let me tell you, to eat...
...let me tell you,
if they wanted to suck...
Oh my! For one thing, it's not hygienic,
what the heck! Think about it, right here.
Right there, with tongues and all...
Oh, disgusting! Disgusting!
But you're right. You're right about that,
this teapot wouldnt go there.
It's ridiculous.
This wouldn't prevent them.
We'll need it for breakfast anyway.
Bro, did you have a fever when
you were a kid?
I don't understand what's
going on with you. Since you came...
...home you're acting weird.
You're a weirdo!
By God, what did I say?
What did I say?
Whoa! What's going on?
What is this?
Have you decided to move out
without getting married?
No, bro. This is our line of defense
against the zombies...
...waiting outside to suck you, dude.
Excuse me!
Why are they sucking just me?
Have them suck you too.
I won't get sucked alone like this.
Either all of us or none of us.
So if we're in it...
...you would be get sucked for
some strange zombie, is that so, bro?
Well...
Dude, don't be silly.
Come on bro, take it down.
What are you doing, bro?
I woke up so good today!
Okay, okay, all right.
We'll remove it after breakfast, bro.
We'll remove it.
But I'd say think about
this zombie thing.
I come from a
conservative family.
I can't handle such things.
Good God! What do you mean!
So I'm free and easy.
Is that what you call me?
-Guys!
-What?
To the table.
-Dive in, dive in.
-I want that yolk!
So, Faruk...
Are you going to tell
us what happened...
...or should we keep
pressuring you, bro?
There is nothing
to tell, bro!
But the sausage is number
ten. Bless your hands. A ten.
Good.
If you say so, I guess it is so.
Merto, forget about it,
did you prepared...
...a surprise proposal for zlem?
So you have something in mind?
Did you get the ring, huh?
-What? How? Was it tonight?
-Yes.
Tonight...No way.
Nobody can go anywhere.
I won't allow it, no, brother.
Impossible. I don't want.
We're going to watch a
movie together tonight.
-What movie?
-Don't be ridiculous son, what movie?
It's our second anniversary
with zlem today, bro.
I arranged the whole organization.
Preparations are complete,
the reservation is set.
I can't watch a movie, bro.
Hush! No! Don't say another word.
I don't want any objections.
Open up, swallow, dude.
Look how I feed you, here you go honey.
Take it, my dear baby.
Wait, get that out of my mouth.
He's going to choke me.
Acting weird since you came home.
What's going on with you, son?
All right, fine.
Can't appreciate kindness either!
Bro, I will go out
in the evening anyway.
I have an exam at 9 o'clock.
You know...
Evening education. I have to
graduate this year. If I don't I'm done.
Pray for me to pass this exam.
God, wish me luck, please.
What? Exam?
No way. No, no
one is going anywhere.
I don't allow it.
What's an exam? What's an exam?
Seriously, what's an exam?
An exam is stupid thing.
What's an exam?
Besides, there's make-up exams too, bro.
Besides I know, teachers ask
the questions in make-ups...
...the same questions in exams.
Don't go in vain.
Don't worry bro, I will go
to that exam no matter what.
I have to take that exam
and I have to pass that course.
This school will be over this summer.
There is no ifs and buts.
I'm sorry, I can never suffer from
exam stress an all again.
Understood.
Well, if you say so.
It was just a suggestion.
Oh, guys, by the way, you know
Doruk, Aunt Fatma's son.
The kid will come directly to us
after school today.
He'd go to the hospital, she asked.
He has a thing.
I said okay, I couldn't offend her.
So you know.
What? Doruk?
Doruk, the kid. The kid? Doruk?
No way. No kids. No, no.
Let's not get the kids involved.
Where did the kid come from?
No, bro. Besides, we're not at home.
We are not at home today.
No children.
Today is a very special day, bro.
There's a zombie invasion today!
If those zombies came, lay me down in
this house, in the middle of this room...
Take whatever God has given...
Hoot! Whoa! Whoa! Hoot!
My God, my Lord!
Look at what you're talking about
at the table.
I swear I just visualized it right now.
God!
You really made me lose my appetite.
I'm going to my room,
you stuff yourselves.
Good God! Bro! I...
You misunderstood.
So I was going to say if those zombies
would lay me down and eat me. Hello...
Pst! Mert?
Cemil, tell him
something, he misunderstood me.
What could I say, bro.
You'd never know with a zombie.
You shouldn't lay down right away.
You must have some persistence.
Have some chaste, ffet!
Don't you have some chastity, son?
ffet!
They're going to lay me
down for too long anyway, bro.
-Sorry?
-Nothing, nothing.
Sausage, sausage.
It's very nice. Sausage...
It's nice. Did you leave any sausage, son?
You plundered them all.
Take it, take it, eat.
-I have chocolate.
-Chocolate sausage.
-I have chocolate.
-Please take it, eat it.
-Ta-da!
-Ah! Maniac!
You scared me.
God damn you.
What's this?
Is this what I think it is?
Don't you dare do this to us, Mert.
Don't you dare!
I'm sorry, sister. Excuse me.
I'm going to marry zlem...
This is the ring I'm
going to propose to her.
Also, I'm so sorry but
what can't I do to us?
You've been talking like an idiot
since morning.
Idiot...
Would these ears hear that,
after all these years?
Idiot, huh! Idiot.
Even my father didn't call me that!
I'm done! Do you understand?
It's over.
OK bro, I was kidding.
OK, I'm sorry.
In the heat of the moment...
It just slipped. I won't do it again.
All right.
I can't stand you at all.
Come here little fool.
Okay, okay.
What are we doing for the love of God.
Get out of here.
Because of you since morning.
Once you came home...
We're acting like crazy people and
having crazy conversations.
May God damn you and
cats recite your funeral prayer.
I want to hit your mouths with
this slipper. What are you doing?
You ruined all my concentration.
I congratulate you.
I remind you...
What is more important than the
general ledger book in our miserable life?
-I'm asking you. Answer it, jerk.
-Don't yell!
Don't yell!
Everyone's yelling, in and out.
What the hell is this?
I'm very sorry. I'm so nervous.
Also, Mert, you can't appreciate kindness.
I'm very sorry, bro.
What kindness is it?
Pure kindness.
I wanted to give you a girly attitude for
10 seconds you couldn't stand even that.
How are you going to get married, how?
Also, Mister Cemil...
We have three months of accumulated rent.
Three months of active debt.
My God!
We didn't pay it, did we?
I swear, Mr. Cezmi will be
at the door any day now.
Let me remind you, what is more
important than the general ledger book?
Who would know if...
...we can transfer the input and output...
...of one month to the next?
Do any of you know? No.
But don't you worry.
Super accountant,
passive Cemil is with you.
I'm here. Be at ease. I got this.
When you say passive...You mean like...
Well...
Is it like...
No bro! How could that be?
I haven't graduated yet,
that's why I'm passive...
Once I pass these classes, once I graduate,
once I become active...
...you know, then I will...
All them, all active...
...calling them to my office...
Mother and father, aunts, uncles,...
...wives, daughters, from death's door
to the cradle...
...all of them..
Hoot! You dirty mutt,
are you a pervert?
-No.
-Nasty, filthy.
I didn't mean it in that sense.
I'm an aspiring and willing accountant.
I will call them all to the office and
have them set up a company one by one.
Merging those companies under
ordinary partnership...
...we will walk towards
conglomeration step by step.
And I, as the chief accounting officer,
that's when we got the market...
Taa...Oh my!
-They came.
-Who came?
-Bro, open the door.
-No. Let's not.
Let's not open our door, my dear.
Do we have to open the door to everyone?
Good God. We have the option of
not opening, right?
For example, we can
ignore it. Look, I don't hear it.
It's not like it's damn inaudible.
Bro, just shut up. Open the door.
For the love of God, who would come?
Must be Mr. Cezmi.
Who would've knock on our door harder
than Mr. Cezmi, for God's sake?
Besides, since Dandanaqan,
this is dan-dan-dan knocking,...
...is the knocking of the landlord.
I know it, bro.
We can't open the door but
we make bad jokes at home.
-Move aside, I'll open it, move.
-No, no. Mert, don't do it.
Don't do it, don't do this to us.
I'll hit you in that mouth
that says don't do it.
Move aside, move.
Get out of the way.
What!
Mr. uncle Cezmi, welcome.
They say that good people will
come when they're mentioned, he came.
-Mr. uncle Cezmi, welcome.
-What is it, Mert?
Are you going to propose to me?
Sorry, I can't accept.
Unfortunately, I'm married.
I love my wife.
I love my wife very much.
It's a great love.
I love her so much that...
...if I don't see her one day,
I feel like never seeing her again.
She went to our middle daughter's
for a week...
...I'm walking around the house
comfortably on the loose...
...my hands and everything.
Don't mention it Mr. uncle Cezmi.
Why would I propose to you?
Tonight is a very
special night for me.
I'm going to propose
to my girlfriend tonight.
-That's why I bought this ring.
-Is that so?
So you wasted the 3 months rent debt
to me on this ring, right?
So be it!
I can also accept the payment for rent
as a ring.
No, Mr. uncle Cezmi,
you misunderstood.
This is a knock-off.
This is a lousy ring, where is the
money to buy a real ring, for God's sake?
If things get better one day...
...I will replace this with the real one.
Of course, first of all, right
after we pay your rent.
Right? Say something.
You left me alone here.
-Sure, of course. He's fine...
-Sure, sure. Mr. uncle Cezmi.
Otherwise where...
How would this idiot propose the girl?
I got this one pegged.
-What are you saying, son?
-Shut up, shut up, shut up and watch.
That's it then, so if you all excuse me.
Obviously, this racket will never end.
I ask your permission.
I have to leave early, I have an exam.
I'll have a breather, have some oxygen in my
brain so that I can take the exam all refreshed.
No, no, where are you going, bro?
Where are you going?
Look, I'm going to ask you something.
Do you know how to arbitrage...
...on Mozambican accounting?
Tell me? Here you go!
-How do I know that?
-Arbitrage?
Arbitrage? Mozambican accounting.
Arbitrage in Mozambican accounting?
I didn't study it, I don't know if
there is such a thing in my notes.
Will it come in the exam?
I swear it can.
Look, I have a few hours.
I'll study this, thanks bro.
Thanks for reminding me.
I have to check that. Arbitrage.
How was this so easy?
-I guess I got lucky.
-What?
Let's come to you, Mert.
Yes, have you ever rehearsed a proposal?
No, this is my first proposal.
Here you go.
So now, let's see it now.
My love...
We've been together for two full years.
During this time we had
good days and bad days.
But we've never abandoned each
other, never left alone.
I mean, well, I mean...
Do you want to live a lifetime with me?
Will you marry me?
It wasn't impressive at all.
zlem would never accept this proposal.
For once, there is no enthusiasm.
No enthusiasm.
You don't believe it yourself!
It's artificial. Always artificial.
-Disconnected.
-Really?
It doesn't work out at all?
Uncle Cezmi, say something.
You keep sitting there.
Guys, I'll ask you something.
What type of drug do you use?
What the hell are you doing!
Maniacs!
Please Mr. uncle Cezmi.
I wouldn't even put a cigarette
in my mouth.
We don't have bad habits.
Right, dude?
That's what I'm most
worried about, anyway.
You're certainly up to something
but you keep it under wraps.
These are not things to
do with a normal mind.
Who did I take as tenants?
I've been watching you here for
half an hour. But no...
There is not a single intelligence sign.
You say such things, you
break our hearts, Mr. uncle Cezmi.
We are extremely civilized, modern...
...sane,
and rational people in this house.
-I mean, at least Cemil and me.
-Faruk, you'll be spitting feathers.
Son, Mozambican accounting
is not included in the curriculum.
Why are you confusing me?
This time I'm in control.
Don't worry.
The school will be over for sure.
What is Pelinsu doing
in the middle of the hall?
-Anyways.
-zlem. zlem. zlem.
No, no. Only me.
If you're aware, I'm not even asking
what a lifeless mannequin is doing at home.
If it weren't for you, I would've
already kick those out to the curb.
-Don't kick us out, Uncle Cezmi.
-Okay, I wont kick you out this time either.
But if you don't pay
my rent, I'll kick you out so bad...
...its echo comes back here
from the opposite shore.
Well, I'm sorry, kids.
I got carried away.
I have diabetes too. This is what
happens when my levels go up.
-I should go now.
-Where to Uncle Cezmi?
Your mothers...
Why are you shouting, son,
you scared me.
I almost said...a bad word.
-Well, I'll go now.
-I won't leave you.
Never. I won't let you go
without having a cup of coffee.
Shame on us.
Bravo to you too.
So, I'll have a coffee then.
Faruk, make me a mean one, I'm heading
for a goal. I'll be in my room.
Make it double.
Once I put from that sedative...
Uncle Cezmi.
Consider this payback for what
you've done to us so far.
God, I hope he doesn't die.
And don't let this be on me.
My God, please don't let that
happen. Don't. Please.
Yes, Uncle Cezmi.
There's your coffee.
Thank you, Faruk. Thanks.
Bon appetite, Uncle Cezmi.
Bless your hands. So?
What are you doing?
Are you up to something again?
Well...
Actually, there's nothing Uncle Cezmi.
It's from home to outside,
to home from outside.
Normal people call it from
home to work, from work to home.
But I'm not surprised anymore,
of course, when it comes to you.
-No job, huh?
-There is one actually.
There is, but I'm looking
for where exactly it is.
I want to make the right choice.
Anyway, when I finish
this coffee, I'll get up.
No, no, Uncle Cezmi, how so?
You never tell, what are you
doing alone at home all alone?
-Did you miss auntie?
-I didn't miss her.
I didn't miss.
I hate my wife.
Look, you reminded me
again, I lost all my joy.
Okay, Uncle Cezmi, don't be angry.
Forget it, there's a lot of wives for you.
-Is there?
-I don't know, there must be.
Good God, why am I
dealing with this problem?
Don't talk nonsense.
Do you think I didn't think
about divorcing the wife?
But I want her to die directly.
May she die
so that I can be free for sure.
Of course,
I keep silent because of the children.
What a great channel I found.
I'll move inside from here.
-So you say so. That's how much.
-Of course.
Poison.
No, I swear, my uncle Cezmi.
I put a very small amount in the coffee.
I mean, it's not just to kill,
to die or anything like that.
-Just so you calm down.
-What coffee, son?
The coffee is pretty good.
I wonder if I poison my wife.
You talk about that?
No dear, Uncle Cezmi, what
is the need, just divorce her.
-Should I push her off the stairs?
-Absurd.
-Shall I choke?
-So clich.
Faruk, I say, should I buy flowers?
How about I get flowers?
Yes, buy some. What the hell?
Go on, get married, idiot.
I thought you were smart.
Why are you saying that, Uncle Cezmi?
I'm a person whose in love.
What could be more beautiful than
the union of two lives in this life?
-Breaking up.
-For the love of God.
Please don't shout in this house.
I swear that's enough.
I'm getting nervous.
Cemil is studying for the exam inside.
Pity the boy.
So...Why do you say that? Why
are you getting angry, Uncle Cezmi?
-I didn't understand.
-I'm not angry, sir, I'm not angry.
Go get married. Get married, all of you.
Anyway, when I'm so unhappy, what more...
...do you have more
than me to be happy.
Get married, you get married too.
Get married all of you.
I pray to God that you all achieve
your wishes and you'll see how...
...old your mother is.
Amen. Amen. Uncle Cezmi, Amen.
Faruk, what do you say about the flowers?
-What do you say, shall I buy flowers?
-I say pay my rent.
Excuse me, Uncle Cezmi, I'm sorry.
Mert, my baby bad boy, my chubby one.
Can you see?
Look, as you talk...
...this rent burden is
hopping on our shoulders.
I wonder if you should go to your room?
What did I say son?
What did I say?
All right, then.
I'll go to my room
now so I can get ready.
I shouldn't be late, I should
change my clothes, right?
Sure, of course.
Look how well you thought.
Nothing escapes from you.
Come on now go to your room and get ready.
I'll calm down Uncle Cezmi here, okay?
-My baby boy.
-Okay baby...
What?
Baby bad boy. Baby bad boy.
I said all of that you didn't care,
and now you're stuck on this? Leave.
Okay. I'm going. Okay babybad.
All right, I'm out.
Go on.
Yes, Uncle Cezmi.
God bless you, yes.
How do you feel?
Was the coffee good?
I'm like a shaken soda bottle.
Be careful so I don't
explode on you.
Don't worry, Uncle Cezmi, they're
going to blow us up badly anyway.
-Who?
-Zombie.
Zombie? My wife is not here.
She went to our daughters for a week.
Oh, is your wife also a zombie?
The mother of all zombies.
What am I talking about for half an hour.
Something like this happened to us.
-Wasn't a big deal, but we survived.
-Get well soon, Uncle Cezmi.
The door.
Faruk.
Dude, answer the door.
Why don't you answer?
I didn't say anything when you were so loud,
at least open the door bro!
I don't think we should open it.
Should we answer every knocking?
You're at home, I can hear you.
Open it up.
-I don't think we should open it.
-Son, open that door.
Okay, okay, I'm opening.
Why is he still here?
Why isn't he gone yet?
-I don't understand.
-Why isn't he leaving, son?
Wow Doruk, welcome. What's up?
Are you hungry?
No, brother Cemil, I ate at school.
Oh really! I was going to say if you're
hungry prepare something and eat together.
Whoa man, whoa!
You're not ashamed at all, are you?
Are you going to make
a wee boy make dinner?
Who, wee boy? This one?
Is this a wee boy?
Uncle Cezmi he is a grown man?
Right, Doruk?
Come, Doruk, come sit next to me.
Tell me, how is school going?
Never mind school.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Have you started playing Hacivat?
Not yet, Uncle Cezmi.
The work continues.
Well done.
Of course, dear, of course,
don't we know about those works?
Every night in the room
above my bedroom...
...very intense studies are heard.
Really?
Is that sound that loud?
Wouldn't it be, my Doruk?
What sounds are coming,
which cannot be called a sound.
I feel the vibrations above me.
It's as if those works are
being done on top of me.
What I just don't get, does he get
angry for a while or what's going on...
He hits his fist left and right like this.
Why is that?
It's not my fist!
-Make me question my resume.
-What are you saying, son?
Harun?
Can't you see, son?
The situation is dire.
Get a girl for the boy, it's good deed.
Oh my God! I don't understand
why this girlfriend issue...
becomes my problem eventually?
Son, you're no good for anything...
...so all eyes are on you maybe
you'd be good for something.
Your type is already suitable.
-Suitable for what?
-To be a pimp.
God, oh God!
No girlfriend for you. Leave.
Go on, keep working, go.
Also, Cemil, I hope you fail
your exam tonight.
I hope they will ask about Mozambican
accounting in that exam tonight.
Don't curse son,
what kind of curse is this?
Repent! I swear,
look at those grudging eyes...
I'm sure his curse would hold.
I'll go and study some more.
If you graduate before me Doruk,
I will break your feet.
I swear. Damn you Faruk.
Ya Faruk brother, I hear blowing balloons
from your room every night.
And then that weird, squeaky sounds.
What sound is that?
Really?
You can hear those sounds?
What is that balloon inflating sound?
I didn't understand.
That sound...
Well, Mert had a birthday.
We had a surprise for him.
I inflated 80, 90, 100 or so
balloons for him. That must be that.
-Every night?
-Every night, you bastard.
Never, ever. None.
I don't have any air.
My lungs are deflated. None.
Bastard. There is
no air left in the lungs.
That's why I could
only inflate like 10.
Doruk, my dear.
-One last drink, honey?
-Last? No, no. Thanks.
No, no.
I'll make you a
coffee, it'll be good.
Uncle Cezmi knows my coffee.
It's good.
I'll make you coffee.
Bastard.
Young man, what are you looking
at, without looking up from the phone.
Ah, these young people ah!
They have become completely
indifferent to their surroundings.
Look, Uncle Cezmi, look.
Oh baby.
"Oh baby"?
I'm at this age, this video
even made me say "Oh baby".
Wow. Wow. wow! Praise be. Praise be.
I swear, if these are women,
mine is definitely a llama.
-Only spits in my face.
-Stop, stop, let me see. Hold on.
Baby bat. Look at the movement.
-Wow.Wow. Wow.
-Okay my love, okay, don't worry.
At 8 o'clock in Niantasi.
Don't worry, I won't be late. Don't
be silly, I won't be a minute late.
Wait a second, let me see.
What are you watching, son?
Hello! Honey, I hang up now.
Shall I call you later?
Faruk has fallen in the
kitchen, I will help him.
I kiss you, I will call you.
Are you still getting
married, idiot?
Brother, just because we proposed, we're
not going to get married right away, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I think you should cancel tonight.
We'd watch such videos and
educational videos like this.
Don't be silly!
It's something else.
This is something else completely.
Praise be, praise be, praise be.
They call it squat, Uncle Cezmi.
It's normal for them to say.
Look at my baby, praise be. Throw tight.
What would it be like if it was loose?
Not a horse, Uncle Cezmi, Squat.
-Gender doesn't matter. The gender doesn't matter.
-Doruk, don't force it.
-Let Uncle Cezmi live this moment.
-Yes. Let me live. Let me live.
Yes, friends, if you'd let me,
I'll take a shower.
All, how bro...So quick?
Boy, look at me! Do you have this
premature thing?
Don't be silly. What's that
got to do with it, son?
I'm going to meet the girl,
so we don't smell...
...I thought I'd take a shower.
What's that got to do with it?
You say you're still going to get married.
Are you determined?
Brother, don't be silly, please.
Don't keep saying the same things.
Anyways. I should go and get my
clothes ready as soon as possible.
Then I take a shower.
Besides after getting married...
Squat every night.
All right, you're fine, go on.
Thank you, Doruk, thank you. Finally!
I feel so good. My lion.
Well done to you. Doruk, I swear,
you took us to new heights.
Look, Mert brother went to quit on top.
Do you see?
What is that?
My God, please don't let be
what I think it is.
I'm not ready yet.
-As-salaam Alaikum, youth.
-Alaikum Salaam Selo, come in.
What's happening?
Oh, Mr. Cezmi was here too.
Well, well, well.
What's up, Doruk?
-Good, thanks.
-Come sit down, come Selo.
Teens these days, the new generation
of young people are amazing.
They instill youth in man,
activating all his organs.
My lion, my steed.
-Like what, Mr. Cezmi?
-Nothing, Selo.
-Nothing. Please sit down.
-No, I shouldn't sit down.
I came for your dues.
What is debt Selo, it will be paid...
...what are dues, it'll be taken care of.
Here, sit down. Have some coffee.
Well, six months of accumulated debt.
I wouldn't know if
it's easy or hard to pay.
S-Six months?
We owe six months of dues...
...why don't you tell us, bro?
I'm mad at you.
Look, you always dump the
garbage in front of the door.
I have to clean.
You are big men.
Bring it on the seventh of every month.
Unbelievable! What's this! What's this!
Come sit down Selo! Come sit down!
They'll pay.
Of course we'll pay it.
-Here, sit down.
-Let my coffee be medium.
No, you don't get to have coffee.
-Mr. uncle Cezmi...
-Yes?
Why don't you kick them out?
I will.
Don't worry, I'll kick them out.
Their goose is cooked.
I'm...
I'm trying to catch them make a mistake.
They've also hadn't
paid three months' rent.
-By the way, Ms. Hlya asked about you.
-What?
She saw your wife leaving
with suitcases and bags.
You didn't say she went on a trip, right?
No, I didn't.
Don't you dare!
Don't say anything like that!
Always be like this, well done.
Is Aunt Hlya hitting on you, Uncle Cezmi?
No, she is not!
It's not called hitting on, dear.
She'll eat him up.
She thought Mr. Cezmi got separated.
She saw his wife leaving
with suitcases and all.
She'll definitely hit him up is she sees
Mr. uncle Cezmi on the stairwell.
Bite your tongue.
Selo.
Don't say such things
in front of the child.
You open that horse too, baby.
Let's watch a little.
What horse?
Are you betting on horses?
-Yes, we are.
-I have low battery, Uncle Cezmi.
Fine, OK, OK, we'll watch later.
By the way, two men
asked about you, Faruk.
Who?
Where?
How? When? Are they downstairs?
No, calm down. They asked
about you fifteen days ago.
Selo.
Are you crazy?
Are you saying this now?
It's been fifteen days! Fifteen days!
I'm peeved on you on
a different level, Faruk.
What did I do to you?
Well, there is no particular reason.
Your face is enough for me.
Good God. What's wrong with my face?
It's like...It don't get it right now.
Like a pimp!
God, I swear I'm going crazy.
I swear I'm going crazy.
Mr. Cezmi...
By the way, there are
rumors in the building that...
...they won't pay the rent
and the dues and run away.
Good God!
Who says that?
I do!
I myself am spreading the gossip.
With great pleasure.
I will finish you son.
You know you...
You're sick, you know that right?
No, I'm a very good doorman
who loves his apartment.
Doruk...
...there has been a noticeable increase...
...in your toilet paper, napkin
orders lately. What is it?
Your family singlehandedly
finishes up in a week...
the monthly toilet paper of an apartment.
What is it, Doruk.
Well...
Well...
The kid is working.
What a passion for work!
What an ambition!
Where are you running to my nephew?
Take it easy, you're the champion.
Pity your mom and dad.
Your father's monthly salary...
...goes for thirty-two pieces
of toilet paper.
All right, enough.
Don't pressure the kid. Gee.
Haven't you ever been young?
Besides if I watched the videos
he watches every day...
Open up that video, coldhearted.
My battery is low, Uncle Cezmi.
Besides, I should go to the toilet,
I can't stand...
Oh, you're too late, run, catch up!
Don't miss it, you dishonorable.
Whoa! I'm just going to pee.
You turned me into a pervert!
It's charged, isn't it?
It started working, my lion.
Attaboy!
You dishonest.
What?
We are not here!
It's not the time to play, Faruk.
Can you open the door please?
-But I don't want to open it.
-Reason?
Because we don't like grocers here.
We always shop at the market.
We don't find it right...
...to have a grocer...
...in our lives, or even in our house.
Can you please leave grocer?
Don't be silly! Open that door!
Are you alone?
Very much. You?
I'm not asking about that.
Is there someone with you?
No!
I'm alone. Single. I'm alone.
Being alone and single is the same thing.
What kind of Turkish are you speaking, bro?
Uncle Cezmi!
Uncle Cezmi, please let's not
take this ignorant person among us.
Our IQ is already sweeping the floor,
we shouldn't push it more.
Open that door! Open it!
-Okay, all right!
-My God, my Lord!
We don't have the right to choose,
even in our own home.
-Come in.
-All right!
Oh, my brother Cezmi.
Tickling Doruk.
Oh, are you here too, Selo?
Yes. Are you surprised, Yaar?
I guess you forgot
that it's my jurisdiction.
I'm shocked.
The atmosphere here has deteriorated.
What is it?
Are you in a fight or something?
No, Cezmi brother,
why am I going to fight?
He does his shopping two neighborhoods
away, and he doesn't stop by me either.
Really?
Wow!
I was...
...I was thinking why my orders
are delayed, Mister Selo.
Mr. uncle Cezmi,
I always take my orders...
...so that the money
wouldn't go to some stranger.
But Yaar, you never said
"My Selo, take this cream biscuit,...
...and the soda, on me".
I expected once in a while.
Does the other grocer do that?
He even makes me toast,
and it's mixed!
Do I need to say?
You are already eating and drinking.
Do we say anything?
That's the thing.
Treat for once, penny pincher.
By God, you're sick, Selo.
No, I'm a pretty good doorman and
especially a doorman who cares...
...about his job.
Well, what does this have to do
with your work, I don't understand it.
You shut up! Sex freak!
Finally, blood started to
go to your brain, Doruk.
Gentlemen, gentlemen!
Sorry for interrupting.
Now something occurred to me.
Okay, we somehow understand that
we are in the living room of the house...
...but Yaar brother...
...what are you doing here?
What would...
...a grocer leave his shop and
do in the living room of our house?
Right, Faruk?
You haven't paid the
debts for four months.
And you're making a show
shopping at other markets...
Who are you?
Brother Cezmi, not including you.
I'm not too keen on sitting here anyway.
I will collect, I will go.
There are already other
characters that I dislike and detest.
These characters you don't like,
you mean me, don't you, Yaar?
Selo, if I mean you,
I would say characterless.
I'm talking about Faruk.
Good God, what did I do to you,
Yaar brother?
I'm sorry Faruk, I'm so
annoyed with your face.
Damn my face.
What's wrong with my face?
How should I say?
There's a different vibe.
Something like...Well...
-Pimp!
-Pimp!
Open that door! What's
wrong with you with this door?
Are you afraid of someone?
Are you waiting for someone?
Did you do something up again?
Open that door!
Uncle Cezmi, look.
I'm serious this time, look, I think
we shouldn't open it just for your sake.
Open that whorehouse door!
My dear Faruk, I'm sister Hlya.
Open up, look, I brought you pastry.
It must have been smelled
in the apartment, baby.
Faruk...
I beg you, don't open that door.
I'm ruined...
...you'll be ruined too.
My sister!
Sister Hlya!
Welcome sister!
Faruk, I brought you pastry. Here.
-Thanks.
-It's hot.
-Take this away from me, dear.
-What? Pastry?
Hlya sister, why did you bother?
Bless your hands.
Bon Appetite, my dear.
When did you come? The four
horsemen of the apocalypse are complete.
What's happening?
Oh...
-Look how crowded the house.
-Hello dear, hello.
Hello, my sister Hlya.
Son, I've never seen this place so crowded.
What's up?
What's happening? Was there an incident
in the apartment or is that a party?
What is it?
Now, Mert dear...
Let me introduce you.
These are our accumulated debts.
Isn't it nice that
they all chose today?
Very good, very good.
Then I won't crowd any more.
You know I have to get ready and go.
All right.
No. No, no, no!
No.
Don't do this to us, Merto.
I beg you.
I'm going to hit you in that
mouth calling me Merto.
Acting strange since the morning.
People will misunderstand.
Don't care what you do! Go!
-Hlya sister, you're standing. Please, sit down.
-No.
I should sit for a while.
Oh, Mr. Cezmi!
-Were you here too?
-No!
So sweet!
C-Cemil!
My dear Cemil! Come on, Cemil,
look, it's rude. You got the pastry...
...you took it to your room, bring it!
I need the pastry, Faruk.
You can whistle for it.
I'm recording that in the
inventory for accounting.
Things are getting messed up,
Faruk! Faruk!
Cemil! Cemil! Don't be silly, Cemil!
Don't eat them all! Don't eat. Don't.
Eat them all! Stuff yourself!
Stuff yourself!
Maybe it will be your
last meal, my dear brother.
So, Mr. Cezmi...
...how are you feeling?
Did you get used to it? I know how
hard loneliness is, how hard it is...
...how hard, how hard, how hard.
But is the neighborhood dead?
Why am I here?
We'd be enough for each other, dear.
Ms. Hlya, I don't understand at all
what you're talking about.
I say your wife, she's left the house!
She left? Who said that?
Selo said.
You bastard!
No ma'am, nothing like that.
No such thing. She went on a
trip somewhere for a short time.
I'm already going to
her on the first bus...
...early tomorrow morning.
There's been a misunderstanding.
-Really?
-Really.
What did I think?
-So you're home alone tonight.
-No.
No dear. Tonight, I'm...
I will stay here at Faruk's
tonight... Isn't that right, Faruk?
Gosh!
In fact, we were just about to leave.
Everyone wanted to go
as soon as possible, right?
Faruk.
Faruk!
What did we talk about?
Two months' rent instead of three...
Didn't we agree? Right?
Yes, yes, yes.
No one was going
anywhere, were they?
Yes.
Everyone would stay here, right?
Yes.
I am speaking openly now.
Fuck anyone who walks out this door.
Let's hope.
Except for you, of course, Ms. Hlya.
He will fuck us.
-You can go whenever you want.
-No, no.
Because we're going to play cards
here man-to-man...
...we will have rough chat. You'd get
bored. I think...
...you can already leave.
There's something going on that I
don't understand. Since I came...
...I curse all the time involuntarily.
I curse!
Mr. Cezmi, you are a man.
You can curse, you can shout...
It suits you, you know?
Good God.
I guess this drug had a side effect
on this man. He started to yap.
Now you see. I'll got you burned
Mister Mert.
Great.
Come on, now let's see you
get out of the house Mister Mert.
I'm looking, looking, looking,
how did it come to this...
...I don't understand, friend.
Look at that house.
It has never been this crowded.
Oh my God, if I ever get out of
this, I'm going to make a sacrifice.
I promise to sacrifice sheep, sheep!
Ms. Hlya, aren't you bored yet?
I mean, we...This guy chat
isn't for you. Especially our...
...chat is not
for you at all. If you want...
...you can go.
No, I'm not bored.
On the contrary, I really liked this.
I've been longing for guy chat
for a while.
If you only knew, Mr. Cezmi...
...what else I'm longing for.
For what Auntie Hlya?
What is it to you, kid?
What's it to you?
Why are you asking? Why are
you wondering about these issues?
Why...
...you are putting your uncle Cezmi in
a difficult situation. Play your game.
But Uncle Cezmi,
I don't like this game at all.
Don't like it mister. Don't.
You don't have to like it.
You don't have to like everything.
If you want, I can take back
the hundred lira I gave you.
Moreover...
...the important thing is that we
spend time together, have fun...
...isn't it, gentlemen?
In my opinion, not to get strangers,
beggars and sellers in the apartment.
Look, look. Look at the words.
Which of these
adjectives am I, Selo?
I swear, all three of them
resemble you, I mean my ex-grocer.
Shouldn't you be the seller?
Aren't you selling what you
bought for three in my store...
...to five at the building?
Explain this.
What?
There is such thing as
service money, my friend.
Maybe I'm getting the tip in advance.
Wait a minute!
Are you putting profit on our orders Selo?
Yeah!
Now the tip thing is a bit of a problem...
...both for me and for you.
Now, if I want a tip, if you
don't give, all kinds of rumors...
...would spread throughout the
building. So I make both sides happy.
Look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look. And a confession.
Dishonorable.
Hoot! Really!
Faruk, you shut up. You shut up!
I'm peeved at you separately.
Why, why, why?
You go, look in the mirror, see
your face, then let's talk. Okay?
You shut up.
You shut up!
Anyway...
...with you...
...I will meet separately.
The fast one you pulled on me
is right next to me!
I came to collect, when
did I sit at this table.
No...
...why did I join this conversation,
brother? I will go nuts.
I don't understand. The only
hand I will go to, I cannot go.
Yes, what are you doing? For the love
of God, what is this man doing...
...in our apartment? Come
on, for God's sake. Go!
I don't want you.
Cut it! Shush!
No one will get
up from this table!
Understood? Do you understand me well?
Whoever gets up from this table, I will...
-We know what to do.
-No.
I will not curse, sir.
I won't curse.
By God, I will not
swear this time.
So be it.
I repeat.
This table will not be abandoned.
Understood?
Hey, let me kiss your mouth,
Uncle Cezmi. Kudos to you!
Faruk, what are you saying?
Also, I don't like men.
Besides, I'm married.
Right! Big man.
Is it up to you?
With fresh young
women standing here.
Isn't it, Mr. Cezmi?
Actually, maybe we should try.
Yes, I mean, one should
be open to such things.
In what century
are we living in, right?
Besides, they say that
one time wouldn't hurt.
I see no harm in trying
a little. Right, guys?
So Mr. uncle Cezmi, are
you saying that exactly?
Why has this issue taken so long?
I don't understand.
I just said it. Unbelievable.
Can you comprehend it, for God's sake?
The two of us!
So, Faruk, do you want to tell a
little about what you thought exactly?
After all, residents
want to hear it.
So at least I'd like to hear
it. I'm taking notes, tell me.
Quick.
Shut up! Shut up!
Look at me.
Don't get me angry.
I'll beat you all with these
okey tiles I swear.
Actually, this is a
very good idea...
...I'm saving it for later.
Doruk!
Come on, play your game!
I love you, silly Doruk.
How beautifully you tile me.
The series flows like oil.
Series, series. Come on! Series, series!
How is your hand?
Don't worry, Selo. I'll paste
them all soon. The game is ours.
Well done Doruk,
you came just in time.
But I guess I threw the
wrong tile, Uncle Cezmi.
It's okay. Not important.
Listen to me carefully. There's...
...no better move than throwing
the wrong tile at the right time.
Is there no tea in this house? For the
love of God. Look. The host there...
...is sitting. No tea?
I'm parched.
For God's sake,
someone bring tea.
No tea. They didn't buy one from me.
They buy from another store.
There is no tea for
you. No tea for you bro.
You are peeved by my face,
there's no water for you...
...in rain! Go do it yourself.
Your tea and all...
...do whatever you want.
But Faruk, you are
not hospitable at all.
I didn't get to know you.
Oh God, Yaar brother, what
was your expectation?
Shall I make you pastry?
Oh! Don't argue among yourselves.
I will make the tea.
Faruk, show me where the sugar and the tea
is, my child, I'll do it.
Let me kiss your mouth, Ms. Hlya!
Are you serious?
Faruk, I'll beat you up!
I'll beat you up!
-A minute. No no no.
-No, Ms. Hlya...
You just said something.
What did you say?
You didn't get it wrong, but I
said it wrong. It slipped...
...my mouth. You know, Faruk just
said something...
...it happened to me. So
completely unconsciously...
You'd better not
take it upon yourself.
Well, even the dream
is beautiful, Mr. Cezmi.
Ask me about it.
Then this is what we do.
Mr. Cezmi, I'll make
you a beautiful...
...foamy, Turkish coffee.
No. I don't want it. I want to
drink tea too. Like everyone...
...I want to drink tea.
I go mad when I drink coffee.
Curses come out of
my mouth, I blabber.
I think the issue has nothing to
do with coffee, Mr. uncle Cezmi.
I mean, we hear such
things in the building.
What are you talking
about so loosely?
A minute! You're a man, it'll suit you!
What would happen? The man speaks
a little harshly. What's wrong with that?
I also look at your coffee fortune.
Who knows, there
might be a kismet for you.
Come on, Faruk, let's go to the kitchen.
Excuse me, Cezmi brother.
Come on, come on, come on!
Let's speed it up.
What's up? Did
sister Hlya go, guys?
What is it?
Whoa!
I congratulate you. You turned
the house into a coffee house, bravo.
I can't even think of that much.
Doruk?
Son, aren't you ashamed
at this age? Does it suit you?
Uncle Cezmi gave one hundred lira.
Did uncle Cezmi give you a
hundred lira? Did he give it voluntarily?
So the offer was
undeniable. OK anyway.
Then at least make a pair with this
one. Combine this with this one too...
-...you'll end like this.
-All right, don't get involved.
Good luck guys.
I should go as soon as possible...
...and get ready.
Mert, where to with your cheeks so red?
The idiot is going to propose.
The idiot will burn himself, he doesn't realize
it. I told him but he didn't listen to me.
Is there a girl in your life?
There is a squirrel bro.
Yes, but it's not a squirrel like
that. How sweet, how sweet...
...we gave her her feed,
she loves it.
Brother, of course there is a girl in
my life since I'm getting married.
Dear Mert, if you were here in
the conversation we just had...
...you would consider
Yaar's question as normal.
Okay, if I haven't heard of it,
I should never hear it. I better go.
All right, OK.
He's hopeless.
Gosh!
Sister Hlya felt a little dizzy when she
saw the natural life in our kitchen...
...but she quickly recovered, don't worry.
Everything is fine!
Don't worry, everything is fine!
Yes, how is it going?
Who's winning? Are we having fun?
I'm done guys!
High five, my lion!
Did you finish, Yaar?
How's that now, for God's sake?
I wish we hadn't played
duo with you from the start.
I'm not done!
I'm not, knowingly. I was going to but I
didn't. I'm not finished because of you.
It occurred to me that you cheated on
me with other grocers. No, for once...
...maybe a youthful enthusiasm,
a fad. It will pass, but you...
...you did this to me many times, Selo.
With a bag in his hand, coins
in his pocket, you passed, passed,...
...passed, passed, passed
many times jingling by my shop.
I will not forgive you, I will
not do this to myself, Selo.
I will not forgive you. No matter how much
you want it or how much you desire it...
I will not forgive you
even if you are on fire.
What am I saying, my God?
Whose turn is it?
But separation didn't do well for you.
Well...
The teas have arrived!
The teas have arrived!
Now it's OK. Bless your hands, baby!
Fuck.
Baby?
Fuck me!
Ms. Hlya,
there was a mistake.
It's an old habit.
From my wife.
I'm sorry it came out
of my mouth by mistake.
It's okay.
That makes two.
Maybe you make another mistake.
Three wrongs make a
right, right, Mr. Cezmi?
God help me.
Mr. Cezmi.
My God, they've come for sure this time.
They came for sure, my God!
Faruk, God bless you.
My son, you are you in front of the door.
Why you're not opening the door
today? Are you crazy son?
Cemil, did you place an order or
something? The postman has come.
No, I won't open the door if
you haven't ordered. Pity me too.
Open close, open close like this.
I'm locking it up.
I didn't order anything.
Maybe Mert did.
Mert!
Did you order
online or something?
Because I will not open
the door accordingly.
No bro, I didn't order anything.
-Don't shout!
-Don't shout!
Okay, then I'm not opening the door. What
are you saying? I don't think we should open.
Honestly, your pasha heart knows.
So it doesn't matter to me...
...be comfortable.
Really?
Really?
O people!
I'm not opening the door.
What are you saying?
Don't open!
Say it again.
Don't open!
Again!
Don't open!
My God, what a blessing.
I'm not opening. Here you go.
I know you're inside,
open the door quickly!
Why?
Because if you don't open it,
I'll have to break down the door.
Reason?
Because you are inside and
you do not open the door.
My heart is breaking.
Your door is broken, is it a lot?
What is it to us about your heart?
Is that so? Alright.
What's in here?
Notice from zmermerler Law Firm.
Well, it's over now.
I'll leave it to the headman.
You do your part now.
Notice?
N-notification?
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
Don't go, okay I'm opening the door.
Stop!
He said notice. If there's an execution
to this house because of you...
...I will kill you, Faruk.
I swear I'll kill you.
Open that door.
Open that door.
Would the execution
also come to our house?
What do I know son, how do I know.
I've must have done something for sure.
-It seems that way to me.
-Definitely!
Surely!
Come postman. Come, here you go.
Come, sit down.
Where? Where? Go on.
Notice.
Is it tax?
Brother, are you kidding us?
There's no notice.
Did you order this magazine?
Bro, if I had placed an order,
why would I yell...
..."Did you order anything" for an hour?
Gee. Postman! Mr. Postman.
What about the notification?
I made a joke.
So you'd open the door.
Also, this is your upstairs neighbor's
magazines. I stopped by, he wasn't home.
Now you can leave it
to him for a while, right?
Sign here a handsome signature, bro.
God, there is no normal person,
you know. You're sick, you know...
Yes, I'm sick for my job.
Yes, gentlemen, please to meet you.
I'm out.
No.
Not that.
Whoever enters here will not
go out so easily.
The penalty of detaining a government
official from doing his job...
...is big. Don't tell me
I didn't say, bro.
Fuck. There's that too, right?
Faruk, open the door. Open the
door, have this homing pigeon out of here.
Come on, let's not get in trouble.
Now there is the exam,...
...let's get over it and then we'll catch
him in the lower neighborhood one day.
Don't worry. Come on.
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
We're done! We're doomed.
No ring. I lost the ring.
What? Did you check your room?
Very good idea, I'll go right now and
have a look. I'm leaving the room...
...already, can't you see?
What's the deal with the postman at home?
Anyway, why am I surprised about
anything in this house anyway?
Don't be bothered, bro.
I was going to drop a post anyway.
What are you talking about?
Scumbag!
Is he crazy? All the
crazy come and find us.
Anyway, we have more
important problems than you now.
Faruk, did you
see the ring, son?
Mert, what are you rambling about?
Wasn't the ring fake anyway?
Get a new one, let it be done.
Good God.
Mr. uncle Cezmi, it was fake,
but it had a great sentimental value...
It was a very important
ring, sentimentally.
Are you kidding me?
Would a newly bought thing have
sentimental value? Unbelievable!
Trump.
Me?
You couldn't learn that game.
-Postman!
-Yes, bro?
Do you know how to play Spades?
So we had played a post
between friends...
...in the neighborhood.
Look at me.
I guess post is used as a
number for them.
I think it's a lifestyle.
Okay, okay. Come then.
Come and sit in this brat's place...
...let's ply a couple hands properly.
Otherwise, I will be defeated here.
Mert!
Let me help you search. Let
me take a look at your room, two...
...minutes, what is it?
Oh! Oh, sister Hlya, no need,
you shouldn't bother.
Sit down. This is a bachelor pad,
God forbid, you will have an accident.
Because these rooms
have entrances, not exits.
What are you saying?
Don't raise expectations.
Mert, I'm so bored. Is there a place
where I can listen to some music...
...and charge my phone?
Of course, of course, music?
Of course, of course.
You come to my room, Doruk.
Come on.
Go lie in bed there, listen
to your music. Take a rest.
But just rest,
listen to music, rest.
Go, go to Faruk brother's room.
Go. Our rooms will be a little busy.
Son, how can I propose to zlem...
...if I can't find this ring now?
Don't.
I swear I'd help you
search, but you know...
...I have to catch up with the
exam, so I have to get ready.
By God, you will find it in cooperation
with Faruk, Doruk and so on.
Okay brother. That's
what I'm doing then.
You also had an exam
problem, didn't you? Stop it, it...
...and I will solve it.
When you said exam,
I had hunger pangs, brother.
Is my blood sugar low? I shouldn't
go like this before the exam.
I'll have a snack, let's
go like that... The pastry...
...wasn't enough for me anyway.
I'll look around the room right away.
Maybe it had fallen...
...under the bed or something.
Of course, it fell under the bed or
something.
Go on, dear brother.
Forgive me my dear brothers.
Forgive me, bro.
But I swear, it's all
for your own good.
What is this photo?
Mr. Cezmi...
...your heart has swelled.
But don't worry, all
your troubles will be over.
There is good fortune
for you very soon.
See?
Could it be fortune that
caused the troubles?
Who is this fortune?
No need to look far, Selo.
She's standing right next to him.
So you're saying it's that
near, right, Ms. Hlya?
How is it?
Mr. Cezmi, as far as I
understand, you are married, right?
You have a ring on your finger, don't you?
For God's sake, can you tell me...
...who is this bitch who's hitting on you!
Postman!
You really did what you said
since morning, you sent a solid post.
Well, maybe we
shouldn't think so badly...
...may be well-intentioned. Maybe
she wants not a long-term relationship...
...but a one night stand.
I shouldn't try to fix it.
Botched big, right?
You're ruining even more. I don't
think you should talk, postman.
I mean I haven't met
anyone who'd do justice...
...to his name professionally.
Well, I drank my tea and coffee.
Dropped my post too... So
now that I've delivered it...
...if you'd excuse me. I should go now.
-Wait, wait a minute.
-It was nice to know you.
Goodbye sir.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
Could you send another post?
How many times are we
going to hear this joke?
Besides, it just
stopped being a joke.
I swear I won't let you.
I won't let you go anywhere.
Besides, what did we say? Once you get
in here, you can't get out that easily.
What did we say then?
The penalty for detaining...
...a government official
from his job is big, right?
Open it up bro, open.
You're right. But let me tell you what,
I really liked you.
What if you don't go?
If you say aunt and the children
would wait, that's different, of course...
Let's do it like this. You
call,...
...say you'd be late.
Please don't go, look, please.
Don't make me open that door, please.
Where?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What would anyone do with the
postman, if I were the police anyway.
Damn, open that
door! Open it so I'll go.
Don't do it.
Come here.
There will be one for you.
Every good has a buyer.
Don't lose hope.
When the time comes, all will be.
What are you saying? Look, the
door is already knocking. Open it!
No, what if we don't open it?
Open it up bro! Open now! Open!
-I told you to open it. Open Open.
-Stop, stop, stop.
I swear I'm like an orange stuck...
...in a press machine right now.
Come on, open it. Open it
bro. Please open. Open!
Okay, okay.
My seeds are gone.
Open it.
Hello.
I'm disturbing you, but we had
a survey and...
I'm getting around the flats.
Can you help me?
No. Goodbye.
What are you doing? Of course,
ma'am, Of course? Besides...
...all the residents of
the building are here.
-Come in, ma'am, come in.
-Perfect then.
And I don't have to go from
door to door, I do my job quickly.
You can also drink
a coffee, right?
Welcome. Here, here, here, here, here.
Pervert.
You'd think so, little fool.
Do you think you can
leave this house so easily?
I have given my life
here since morning.
I gave my life.
Hello, I'm Sinem.
We had a survey and I would like to
do it with you, with your permission and...
...if you have time, of course.
Of course ma'am. Of course.
-Of course, ask me, here you go.
-Come on, ask, ask.
Normally I wouldn't let strangers, beggars,
salesmen and less famous and...
...and pollsters in this building.
I get it all, but what's less famous?
Yes, I have a particular
resentment of less famous people.
You're not complete yet. What are
you doing in our apartment? Right?
Celebrities wouldn't come here
anyway. No need, I think it's ridiculous.
Then, since I'm
a pollster, I'll go.
All rules are meant to
be broken, Ms. Sinem.
Well. By the way, I'm Selo.
Pleased to meet you.
I am the doorman of this apartment.
Mr. Selo, thank you very much.
This is your kindness and initiative...
...I will never forget.
No. Even if you want, I won't let you
forget. So I remind you of myself...
...no matter what.
I understand, thank you.
I'm Yaar.
Grocer Yaar. Actually, I have
a mini market, half M.
Alright.
Shall we eat...
...some cream biscuit?
I don't fully understand.
So I'm saying, can we have
a cream biscuit with tea?
You carry a cream
biscuit with you?
Yes, for days like this.
You wouldn't know where and when it would
happen. A grocer must be...
...always prepared.
Preparation for what?
What days are those?
I'll tell you the details of this
later, accompanied by soda...
...my Sinem.
If you wish, let's start our
survey right away.
We wouldn't lose time either, right?
Let's get started girl, let's get started. In
fact, if you want, start with Ms. Hlya first.
I love answering surveys. Whenever
I see a poll boy on the street...
...I will answer his
questions immediately.
You ask, my child.
Thank you, thank you but
unfortunately this survey is for men.
I don't have the one for
women. But hopefully next time.
Hopefully, let's see.
The uncle is your husband I guess.
It will be enough for your apartment
if he answers these questions.
Don't I say that I love pollsters.
I love them for...
...some reason. See Mr. Cezmi?
She thinks we suit each other.
Not yet, baby, soon.
Start girl, you start, let's go!
So let's do this.
Now I spend a lot of time asking and writing the
questions one by one and taking the survey...
Let me ask directly, get the answers...
...and copy it, okay?
All right, my daughter, okay.
Let's start.
Our questions are a little
different and obscene.
I'm telling you right away.
Oh, it's okay, my lady Sinem.
You ask. We're all mature
people after all, aren't we?
Here comes our first question.
Which organ or part of your
body impresses you the most?
Yes, gentlemen, let's get the answers.
Mr. Yaar, let's start with you first.
Sinem, I wish we hadn't
started with me first.
My lobes!
What?
My earlobes. Can't a
person like his own earlobes?
My beautiful, proportional,
symmetrical, miraculous...
I love my earlobes! Can't it be?
Sure, it can. After all, tastes
and colors are indisputable, right?
Mr. Selo...
...let's ask you.
My chin.
I don't understand why you clapped?
Is it okay if I tell you
this later? Well...
...you leave yourself to me for
a long time, I will tell you.
Excuse me?
Here, I'm saying
that my chin is good.
OK, we accepted that too.
You, my uncle?
My heart.
Wow!
Wow from me too! Wow!
You are romantic then, uncle.
What romance, my dear, what romance?
I have high blood pressure.
I have palpitations from time to time,
of course I'm very impressed.
Well, okay, I get it. Of course
we wrote that too. You sir?
Me! Of course my brain.
What?
If only we could see
you use it once, Faruk.
He loves it so much that he
is so impressed by his brain...
...he can't bear to use it. That's why
he's wandering around without a brain.
Yes, of course we accepted that too.
Postman, you? What was your name?
Oh, never mind my name.
Or let's do it like this....
...would you want to name me again?
Excuse me?
Well...
...Niyazi. With a single "n".
Isn't Niyazi already with a single "n"?
Yes, with a single "n".
But you...
Anyways. I'm not questioning.
Mr. Niyazi, let me get your answer.
I'm answering, sir. My calves.
What? Calves are very
important in my business.
I walk so much in a
day that Roberto Carlos...
...what I wouldn't give to
have calves like calves...
...sir.
Good answer.
I think so too, thank you.
Then we move on to our next
difficult question, if you're ready.
When did you first make love?
I hope this will be the first.
What do you mean "this"?
Well...
...since I didn't had
a tangible, existing...
...girlfriend before...
I didn't have a chance to
experience that warm beautiful feeling.
No way! All these years!
You're joking!
-There are people worse than me.
-A lot.
I'm in a predicament.
Help.
I understand.
Let's move on to the other gentlemen then.
Does a dream count, Sinem?
I don't know, you'd know that better.
Exactly three years and
twenty-two days ago...
-...I was sweaty-
-Uncle, how about you?
I never make love.
Uncle Cezmi, how about the children then?
Do I have to make love?
Yes, gosh, does this
guy have to have sex bro?
Maybe asexual reproduction.
Maybe he reproduces by mitosis.
Why do you interfere in
people's private life bro?
Unbelievable!
Alright.
Then we accepted that too.
Mr. Selo, you?
Does asexual love count?
Without reproduction.
By myself.
As far as it is.
-As much as I can.
-Okay okay.
You don't need to go into details at all.
It does count, it does. Wouldn't it?
I'm writing right away.
As much as I shy
away from the answers...
...I continue the
questions, if you are ready.
If you were the opposite
sex, what would you do first?
I would be undressed, sir.
What? My body, my decision.
I understand, okay. Mr. Yaar, you?
I would be depressed.
I always wonder.
You get depressed.
You go crazy shopping, you eat,...
you change your hairstyles. As if...
...it's like something you invented
to be able to do these things...
...I think.
Actually, yes.
What am I saying, right?
Well, it's an interesting point of
view, yours. Yes, I am writing.
Uncle, you?
I would do...
...my best, out of
place just to...
...infuriate my husband.
I am very curious.
Why do women enjoy this?
Because I live it every day.
Well, I understand.
We wrote it too. Mr. Selo?
I'd go into the women's restroom.
Filthy.
Why?
The biggest gossip is
there. So the women...
...enter there, they don't come out again.
So I would go there...
...one day. I would even want to be
in charge...
...of the women's restroom. There's a
lot of gossip going around.
Well, we wrote that too. Mr. Faruk?
Cat, book, record.
Cat, book, record?
Cat, book, record.
What is it like?
You know when it's
raining outside...
...you know how you go under the
blanket. You pull the sleeves...
... of that sweater up to
your toes like that.
You take that warm coffee
cup in your palms like this...
...a cat in your lap...
...you read a book
accompanied by such a record.
Oh my, oh my, oh my.
Gentlemen! Come on!
You don't understand?
Ms. Sinem, do you
not understand?
No dear, I got
it. I even love it.
We write this too.
Then...
...we came to another very
difficult question. If you are ready.
We are ready sir, here you go!
It will be a little harsh,
let me tell you beforehand.
What is your favorite position?
Chief position.
I don't get it, what is it like?
You can't understand, sir, you
have to live. Every day our chiefs...
...make us suffer. I mean,
from where I sit like them...
...I want to work and live
comfortably.
Look, I'm highlighting.
From where I sit.
Alright. OK. Mr. Yaar, you?
Middle, right, left open.
I don't understand.
So it's such a beautiful
position. I am quite effective...
...in man to man fight, my Sinem.
I don't understand, but anyway.
It's something between
men after all, right?
We wrote it too. What about you uncle?
Eleven position.
I'm so sorry, can you explain a
little bit about the eleven position?
In bed without touching,
without any expectation...
...snoring, my daughter.
After all...
...how would I get into
a position at this age.
In other words, even if I even enter a position
in an empty goal post, there will be no goal.
If anything, it would be offside.
No, sir, no.
You are a striker
like a lion, Mr. Cezmi.
You need a solid team mate who would...
...make you score a goal,
who'd pass you a goal.
You'll hit ninety,
if you kick as it comes.
I think so.
Well, we get that
too. Mr. Faruk, you?
Executive position.
What kind of position is that,
can you explain a little bit?
Sure, let me explain it.
You know, managers put a pressure on...
...their employees.
They don't pay their wages by
knocking and banging their hours...
...eyes are
always on them. That's it.
For example, I personally...
...I don't know, if
I had been in such a position...
...I would be after
all kinds of dishonor.
I just realized now...
...I would get a big head
if it gets a chance.
Well, I get it.
This was of course accepted.
But...
Except for Uncle Cezmi, you
all misunderstood the question.
Sorry, but it doesn't matter.
I'm passing, no problem.
Did you see the experience, my child?
The oldies are the goodies.
Thank you for the
explanation, auntie.
Don't say auntie, I'll tear your mouth.
Sister.
Sister.
OK, sister.
Sister.
Faruk!
Faruk!
Faruk!
What happened son? Did they come? Tell
me what happened? Are they downstairs?
Tell me!
I don't have my student ID, Faruk.
If I don't have a student ID...
...I can't go to that exam,
they won't take me in, help me!
Help me! I don't
have a student ID!
God damn you! It's in your
room, go check it out bro.
No, I looked everywhere. I'm
not taking it out of my wallet.
It's been sitting next to
my ID for years. No, no!
It's in your room, where will it
go? Don't yell, bro. Look...
...we have guests. Look.
Who is the guest? And
don't we know all of them?
These-
Faruk.
Cemil.
Is that a girl?
Yes.
At our house.
Yes, Cemil.
Is she alive?
Of course, yes.
Faruk.
Cemil.
I'm wearing a white
underpants right now, right?
Yes my brother.
So, it wasn't a
charismatic entrance?
It wasn't, unfortunately.
What are we gonna do? I
can't think of anything right now.
This is how we'll do it bro.
Turn around slowly...
...enter your room...
...put something on...
...then make a serial entry again.
Who is this girl?
Pollster.
Does she have a boyfriend?
Cemil.
Right now you are standing
in white underpants...
...in the middle of the living room.
You're still asking questions,
you realize that right?
Has everyone seen me?
Yes, my brother.
Really?
Gosh! Cemil is such a crazy boy.
He is a little self-indulgent.
He's like a drunken sailor these days.
The trousers are also an inch down.
What kind of house did I come?
It's like a refugee house.
Anyways.
Let's continue with our
other questions, shall we?
The next question comes.
What are the qualities
you look for in a woman?
To exist.
Alright.
Mr. Yaar, you?
-Being prone to toast.
-What do you mean toast?
An ordinary toast as you know.
I decided to sell toast in my shop.
The demands are already in this
direction. I'll delve into new adventures.
Sinem, if you give me a hand too...
OK. I'm writing toast.
I'm writing. Alright.
Mr. Niyazi, you?
Well, being fast.
I mean, I'm posting
so much a day that...
...let me explain it a
little more. I mean...
...to finish my work early...
...I have to act fast.
She has to like speed too.
Sometimes she may need to run
when she accompanies me outside.
So let's say a kind of
professional deformation.
OK, OK.
-You, Uncle Cezmi.
-Being away from me.
Not even existing.
I don't want anyone.
OK. Mr. Faruk, you?
Her feet shouldn't stink.
What, should they smell?
God, what dirty people you
are bro. Well, I'm a man who cares...
...about hygiene.
Besides, I can't think
of anything else.
No, I can't find it bro. No, no, no!
I can't find it. I am about to go crazy.
Look. I looked under the bed, I
looked over the closet. Nowhere...
...No ring. Look at me, Faruk,
did you take the ring, son?
God, don't be ridiculous, why
should I take your ring? It must be...
...somewhere in your room. You must have
put it somewhere and forget about it.
Son I had it in my hand when I proposed
to a lifeless mannequin...
Whatever happened after that,
the ring suddenly...
...disappeared. I'm going crazy,
this is happening to me because of you.
I was going to go calmly,
brother, the stress came on...
...at the moment.
Did you propose
to a lifeless model?
Yeah, so what?
There is a girl at home.
Why don't you tell me about such
things, son? I'm always...
...last to know.
Who is this girl?
Why should I tell?
And a pollster.
Of course you're right,
why would you say that?
There are already fifty people in the
house. Are you reporting them all?
God! zlem is calling. zlem is calling.
Faruk, look! zlem is calling!
What are we going to do? Say
something, Faruk! Say something!
What are we gonna do?
OK bro, good God.
Keep calm! Little pervert.
-Pervert?
-Pervert.
For a moment, lifeless model and all,
came before my eyes...
...that's why I said pervert bro.
Well. Tell zlem that
tonight is canceled.
How could that be?
I'll pick up the phone.
I'll have her go to the place...
...at least we'll
gain some time.
All right, then.
I say think about this
marriage thing. As you know.
Shush! Quiet! Yes my love!
Yes, sweetheart!
I am good.
I was in the toilet, my love.
What was I doing in the toilet?
You really didn't ask that,
did you, darling?
What would I do, I was
sitting on the toilet as usual.
What kind of a house
did we really end up in?
Hello.
Welcome back.
I'm Cemil.
Accountant Cemil.
Your notebooks are carefully kept...
...your bills are meticulously written.
Nice to meet you.
What's her name son?
What's her name? What's her name?
Faruk.
How?
It was a charismatic entry, wasn't it?
Cemil.
Brother, let me ask you something.
Why do you keep coming
in the living room...
...without wearing anything down?
-Faruk, let me ask you something.
-Ask, bro.
I have underwear, right?
You have, bro, at least you have that.
Where am I doing wrong?
By pushing your luck too much.
So you say.
Cemil.
Please go to your room bro.
Because there is a strange
man standing in his underpants...
...right now in the middle of the hall.
-That's me, right?
-Yes.
Why did this happen?
Well, there is no Zerrin here.
Faruk! Faruk! We're ruined.
zlem is coming here.
-zlem is coming here.
-What? She can't!
No, don't be silly. She can't come.
Tell her not to come. Don't let her, bro!
Besides, we are not at home.
We're not at home bro, look,
it's very dangerous. Believe me.
Son, don't you think I told her?
Don't you know zlem?
The girl, got suspicious of something.
"Why did you pick up the phone late",
"Are you...
...up to something". She will get here...
...what will we do next?
Okay, you were in the
bathroom so you answered late.
No, now normally
when we're on the toilet...
...we're having video chat twice a day.
So she didn't buy it. It didn't work.
Mert.
Brother, I swear,
I will report you.
I will report you. You
shouldn't be breeding.
Is there such a relationship?
How disgusting it is?
What is this?
All right.
You go. You go to your room.
Look for your ring.
I will think of a solution.
My lion brother.
I trust you so much.
You are the sanest
person here. Go on.
What kind of house is this?
I want to ask my last
questions and run away.
A new question is coming,
if you are ready.
Don't ask, girl! Don't ask!
You ruined us!
We say crazy things...
...to answer your questions.
Why do you say that, Mr. Cezmi?
How nice, let her ask.
And what am I
learning about you?
Your fantasies...
...your positions...
It's good for me.
If you are ready then I ask.
Do you like using profanity...
...and slang words?
Well, of course, there are things that
we have according to the place.
Well.
Sometimes in places we take mail...
...we cursed the ones
who didn't answer the door.
One minute, one minute, one minute.
How?
Did you just talk to us
with like that too?
And sitting here in front of me
in the living room of our house...
...are you looking at me?
No.
You lost that chance when
you opened the door, my dear.
All right. Good.
What are you saying, you maniac?
So I'm saying...
...I can be very
creative when cursing.
So you could have learned something.
You know...
...I'll beat you up.
I swear I'll beat you.
I'll beat TT once...
...and P separately.
Well...
...that P part is an officer anyway.
Right?
Then I'll beat you after five.
Well, I got here before
five. You can't prove.
Oh my God, may you be damned.
Scumbag.
All right, Mr. Selo.
What do you say?
I don't swear much, but...
...I got sworn a lot. Does this count?
I get it, so you don't.
But I would if I wanted to.
Mr. Yaar?
Honestly Sinem, when
the debt books swell...
albeit unintentionally,
I say some indecent...
...shameful words, mouthful of them...
...but in my general life...
...I never swear, I take
care not to swear.
By the way...
...you know, as you see...
...we got good energy.
Based on this sincerity...
...can I call you "My Sinem"?
-No.
-Alright.
Uncle Cezmi, you?
I am generally an angry man.
I got real old too.
I mean, I don't use profanity much.
There is something
I just don't understand.
I had a coffee when I came here.
Then I started to swear a lot.
Apparently coffee
isn't bad just for my heart...
...but for my mouth too.
I understand.
Mr. Faruk, you?
I swear.
For me, it has become an indispensable...
...part of my daily life.
I do it internally, does that count?
It counts, it counts.
But you misunderstood that use of slang...
...and swear words.
It's not the everyday
curses I want to talk about.
I'm talking about...
...dirty talking.
You know, that dirty talk.
-That one.
-I know that.
And I love it.
If only there was such a place...
...that we swear, we do.
I mean if we did.
Good for you then.
I hope you will get it soon.
What is this foursome talking?
Look son.
If...
...If Ms. Hlya likes it...
...it's definitely a bad thing.
I swear, Cezmi brother,
I'm as clean as a whistle.
It's probably something like a curse.
Do you hear the voices too?
Coming from Faruk's room.
What sound is that?
I'll take a look, hold on.
No, no, no. Hlya sister.
Don't.
Don't sister Hlya, sit down.
You sit down. For your own good.
I know what that
sound is, but...
...I don't want to think.
I don't even want to dream.
Jennifer!
Jennifer!
No!
Who is Jennifer?
Jennifer.
Jennifer!
No way!
Jennifer!
Jennifer, stay with me!
Jennifer, Jennifer!
Come on!
Jennifer, don't leave me!
Stop, stop!
Jennifer, Jennifer!
Don't look man, don't look!
She's your aunt.
Jennifer don't, don't, baby!
Don't do it, don't do it. Jennifer!
Oh God, may he take my life...
...so I'd fuck your dead! Enough!
Oh, Faruk! Oh boy!
You wasted yourself!
OK, don't be so upset.
We'll handle it.
We'll take it to the tire shop next door.
We'll make a nice patch. We inflate.
Medicine has progressed, son.
She was my precious.
No one else had
touched her but me.
My condolences, bro.
I really understand you very well.
Calm down. These days will
pass and everything will be alright.
Thanks my brother. Thanks
to friends. Thank you bro.
Brother, I'll ask something from you.
Of course, Faruk, say whatever you want.
For the love of God,
put on a pair of pants.
What is this, bring it in front of
my eyes, at least put it in my mouth.
Well...
...it was with panic,
I guess, from there...
...when I got out quickly.
Why is this happening?
Why me?
What just happened in this house?
Why are you acting like
everything's normal?
Could someone explain this to me?
Ms. Sinem, please calm down.
Oh, from what
happened in this house today...
...I swear I got six
months of gossip.
Now I will take time for myself.
Finally!
Thank God.
Gentlemen...
...for the blasphemy...
...I apologize to each
and every one of you.
You know,
it happens unintentionally.
There is just one thing
I don't quite understand.
I was wondering about this bro.
Doruk.
Look at me.
-Wait a second.
-Look at me
-A minute.
-Don't pressure the child, brother.
OK bro OK I swear I
won't do anything...
I swear I won't beat him,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
Don't interfere, brother, don't interfere.
Look at me, Doruk.
Look at me bro, don't be shy.
Now, how did you manage to...
burst this from seven places...
...at the same time?
What's seven?
Brother Doruk, best regards.
I didn't know you like that.
My perspective on you...
...completely changed.
Bravo to you.
Doruk...
I would like to learn these
techniques and tactics sometime.
I've been a postman for fifteen years...
...I have not seen such a post.
I congratulate you.
Congratulations bro. Congratulations.
What am I telling you?
What have I been telling you
from the beginning?
I say whatever there is,
these young people have it.
Kudos to you, Doruk.
Take it out, let me kiss it.
What do you eat and drink bro?
Bastard.
What is this?
What the fuck is this?
Let go, brother, it's okay.
-Calm down.
-You're right.
Okay okay.
You've made some gibble-gabble.
Come sit down and let's talk a bit.
Ladies, get up too...
...refresh the teas...
...we'll drink the tea,
then we leave. Go on.
I'll take names, surnames and
phone numbers and go.
Where to my Sinem?
You just came.
It's like you came to get fire.
Let's have another tea, please?
He's right, look.
The survey isn't even over yet.
I think you should stay too, Ms. Sinem...
...we also have other information.
I personally won't give.
I'm stubborn. Let me tell you.
It was a complete sanction.
We've already...
...in the home stretch, right?
There is also insistence.
I can't escape either.
What shall we do...
...well, let's have another tea...
...we'll run away then.
Super!
Let's do this then.
Let's get the tea with Sinem.
You can't pass me well...
...we will also talk
about this issue with you.
Where is the women's solidarity?
Walk.
Let's go, ladies.
Here you go.
Come on.
Faruk, my condolences, baby.
Thank you sister, thank you.
Thanks sister.
She wears a very nice perfume.
Brother, I swear I can't believe
the bullshit and the strangeness...
...of the events in that house anymore.
But at the same time, I got used to it.
I take a little pleasure.
If you only knew what would happen
that you wouldn't believe, brother.
I did not understand. What did you say?
Merto.
Won't zlem come, brother?
Yes.
This inflatable doll... Sorry...
...let's get rid of the uninflated
doll as soon as possible.
Let's get the place in order.
You're right bro, you're right.
Faruk.
Please, take this now.
Stash it somewhere in your room, bro. Remove
this from here. Come on bro. Come on!
Okay, okay bro, okay but...
...you go and look for your ring in your
room? Come on.
You're right. Brother, I've
been looking since morning, no ring!
I forgot, he reminded me again.
No ring!
I lost student ID too...
...where is it brother?
Come on, come on, come on!
We are scattering.
Cemil, Cemil, Cemil.
My brother.
If you paid attention, you're
still in your underwear bro.
You're obsessed with me too, brother.
OK, I'm wearing my pants.
Let's disperse.
My God, let me get out of this...
...I do not want anything else.
Bastard!
Then we move on to our
last question, if you are ready.
Have you ever stole...
...in your life?
No!
No, I did not. I did not do.
I would never do such a thing.
I am innocent.
You are also a witness.
Calm down, Mr. Faruk.
So that's the survey question.
No one accuses you.
So you know.
Mr. Selo, you?
I never steal.
Don't be silly! Didn't
you just confess...
...you sell the goods you bought
from me and sell it with an interest?
How lame are you talking...
...small business!
-Tell the truth, gossipy scumbag!
-What if I don't!
Come here!
-Who are you?
-Who are you?
I'm selling women!
For how much?
I knew it, I
was suspecting...
...from this. He's a pimp!
I joked so that you would let go.
You passed out.
I'm going!
And I would never stop.
I got punched in the mess.
I hadn't deserved this.
Open the door bro, I'm going too.
You cannot go anywhere. No,
please let me not open the door!
Please, look, I beg you!
We were going to watch a movie.
Uncle Cezmi,
please say something.
Fuck them!
My head is swollen, enough!
My god!
It didn't shut up. The
damn door didn't shut up.
Hello dear.
We came for an
ad interview...
...from the casting agency.
Was this the place?
Casting agency. Well...
...you leave here...
...there's a casting agency on...
...the next street. This is here.
Yes, yes, here you go.
Here you go, for the test shoot, right?
Welcome.
Welcome.
Here you go, here you go.
As you can see, we
have the sweet uncle...
...the neighborhood sister...
...we also have a small child there.
Bastard.
We have the postman,...
...we have a grocer,
we have a doorman, right?
They came for the test shoot too.
Leave now, go on.
Let's go. Fuck off!
Brother! Brother, please adopt me, bro.
Come on.
I hope my stock of
cream biscuits is sufficient.
I was very unprepared, Selo.
The wholesaler did not come either,
look at my luck.
You know you need soda too.
We'll take care of it, my Selo.
But you need to open a big bottle.
Faruk.
Who are these friends?
Every time we open the door,
a woman comes to the house.
Pimp.
Faruk!
I have underwear only, right, brother?
You do, my brother, you do.
Only underwear.
You even have pants on.
Don't worry.
Oh fuck!
I needed the underwear now.
Mert!
Where am I doing wrong?
Don't worry bro.
Doruk...
...you are an expert in these matters.
Do you think...
...these beautiful...
...sisters...
do they know how
to play "hard horse"?
Uncle Cezmi, I looked carefully
when they came.
They already squatted.
Damn, what luck.
I see...
...you forgot your wife
very quickly, Mr. Cezmi.
Who is she?
Ladies...
...should we chew a cream biscuit?
I wouldn't dear, it makes me gain weight.
There's also soda.
Thank you.
When will they take us to audition?
I'll get you once the water gets warm.
First!
So, well...
...I drew water for the tea...
...let it brew, I'll take all of you.
Ladies...
...can I have your address?
Maybe I'll come to post
every now and then...
...I'd come to leave mail.
Do you see Hlya sister?
These men are all the same.
Once they see two beautiful women..
...they immediately forget everything.
Shut up hush!
You sinister, crooked, misshapen wench.
Yap yap yap! Youve been nagging us...
...just because we pay heed to you.
Get two biscuits and come to your senses.
Let me kiss your mouth, Yaar.
Well said to that cromagnon.
Kiss, my Selo, kiss.
Normally I would be very angry, but...
I don't know, in this environment,
maybe it will be a start for some actions.
I don't know, they might get envious.
Nothing comes to my mind.
Faruk.
Then I take off my pants.
Of course, of course, bro.
Be comfortable. Take it off.
Don't be silly bro.
zlem will come soon.
Would she see you at home in your
underwear? It would be rude.
Damn!
zlem will come soon.
zlem will be here soon.
I'm ruined, Faruk, I'm ruined!
OK, calm down.
You didn't let us enjoy this environment.
Don't bug us out.
Boy, don't make me crazy, are you crazy?
I say longing will come.
Don't you know zlem?
If she sees these girls at home,
I'm finished bro, I'll be ruined.
My dreams of marriage
collapse, my life slips.
Damn!
Are you still dreaming
of marriage, you idiot?
Can't you see, son?
Don't you see these women?
If they are women...
...yours is a real squirrel...
...squirrel!
Mert.
Are you still thinking of
getting married...
...my son, are you crazy, can't
you see, look at those breasts.
We say but he doesn't understand.
Don't make me crazy!
I swear I'll beat
you all one by one!
I swear I will do it!
Don't make me mad!
Okay?
Don't make me mad! I'll cut you all!
This is what we're doing
now, man. Let's be calm.
Faruk, you take these girls
and throw them in your room.
You don't throw it in your room.
You take them to your room, you leave
them and you come here right away.
I should come too.
Well, is it okay
if I stay there with them?
No, no. Put them in the room...
...pull the door...
...come back. Quick!
Come on girls, come on! Come with me.
Let those who love me come after me.
Come on, come on. See here.
The one on the left with the view.
Come.
Come, come.
My God, take care of me.
I should've gone too.
Don't talk nonsense.
Hlya sister, I ask you...
...you go to the kitchen with
the survey lady and pour tea.
What if I leave?
No!
I can't risk running into
each other in the apartment.
By the way, I'm going to say something.
If zlem sees you, you...
...you are Hlya sister's niece,
do we have a deal?
All right then.
Run! Run! Tempo tempo! Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
I will go too.
I will go too.
Cemil.
Fuck off to your exam!
I can't go to the exam bro,
my student ID is missing.
They won't let me take the exam.
There was that, right?
Then this is what we do.
Doruk!
Run, come here! Here, here! Quick!
Doruk, my dear.
You go with your brother Cemil now...
...you go to his room
and look for his ID.
Come on! Run! Quick! Come on!
-Go, go, go.
-Move wheelbarrow.
It opens in, you idiot!
Go! OK.
Who do we have now?
Uncle Cezmi, Selo, Yaar...
...and the Postman.
You will pretend that you are in...
...board of directors meeting
of the apartment.
What's that got to do with me?
Good question.
What's with you?
I got it.
You came to post the neighbor upstairs.
When you couldn't post,
you decided to post us.
While we were signing,
we welcomed you in, okay?
Okay, okay, okay.
It fits, it fits.
You always love when it comes to post.
It'll fit.
Did you come Faruk?
Look at me. Leave them now, son.
You're leaving right
now, you'll find a lousy ring...
...to replace the one you lost.
Once we find the ring
somehow, we'll exchange it.
I can't. I can't.
I won't go out.
Have someone else.
I thought that ring itself was lousy.
It's not, sir.
It's not a lousy ring!
How could you propose
with that lousy ring?
We lied because of your pressure...
...because of your fear.
I'll beat you up!
-What happened?
-zlem has come!
-zlem has come.
-Stop
-Faruk, open the door!
-Wait, maybe it's not zlem.
-Faruk, please open the door.
Are you sure?
I'm sure, that's her, of
course. Who else?
Look at me, I'm entering the room.
I'll pretend I'm leaving the room.
Come on, handle this.
OK, let go of my arm.
Even her knocking is weird.
Welcome zlem, welcome.
Be my guest. What's up?
How are you?
Thank you, useless.
Thanks, how are you?
Thank you, I'm fine, thank you.
It was a worthy introduction.
-Amazing.
-What's happening?
My love, did you come? Welcome.
Baby, how are you sweetheart?
Honey, I'm calling, I'm
calling why don't you pick up...
...the phone?
Did you call me?
I hadn't noticed.
The phone was on charge,
I guess I didn't hear it.
I was getting ready.
If you pay attention, we also have guests.
What guest?
God.
Residents, residents...
...they are in a meeting
here. Board meeting...
What's that got to do with it, dear?
What? How long have we been together...
...for the first time
I heard such a thing.
It happens sometimes, this time...
...it coincided with our flat.
Yes.
Welcome beautiful girl.
Thank you.
Mert.
Who are they?
This is our upstairs neighbor.
Upstairs neighbor?
Who is that girl?
Well she...
Hlya sister's niece.
Hlya sister has very serious
health problems, sweetie.
...you wouldn't know.
Tachycardia, blood pressure, prostate, all.
The woman is in a very difficult situation...
She came to help her, God bless.
She didn't hit on you, did she?
No dear. What?
Don't talk nonsense. I
haven't even seen the girl.
I got home, she was there. I was getting
ready inside.
She has nothing to do with me.
Why didn't you tell me?
Take a look at these.
They come in and out of the kitchen.
Unbelievable.
Yes, yes, they're relaxed people.
I noticed too.
I don't like these types.
Anyways.
Let's not prolong the matter.
Faruk is already taking care
of women's affairs in this house.
I understand...
...look at me, Mert...
...you are up to something but...
...it'll come out soon.
Let's do it like this, my
love, I take my wallet...
...let's get out
right now, honey?
Okay, okay.
So Mr. Faruk, how are you?
Are you wandering around without a job?
What could there be, zlem...
...we are looking for something.
All right.
Take a good look and find something now.
Hopefully.
Welcome, girl.
Please sit down.
Thank you, uncle.
I shouldn't, thank you.
I hope Mert would get married with that...
...sourpuss and gets what he deserves.
I wasn't against it for nothing.
Exactly my wife.
New version of my wife.
So, zlem.
Sit down, you're standing.
We were going to watch a movie.
Are we going to watch movies together?
Reason?
That's right, of course.
I have nothing left to say.
You're right.
Yes.
Honey, I'm ready, let's go now.
Come on honey.
-OK let's go.
-No no. You can't get out.
Don't go out, I can't open the door.
-Faruk!
-Do you know what happened?
What a vertigo, my blood
pressure dropped so badly.
Why did that happen?
Faruk!
Stop the nonsense.
No, look, if you leave now.
Who will take care of me,
how it turns...
Dude, don't be ridiculous,
Cemil is inside...
...the house is already crowded. Okay?
Let go of my arm, are
you crazy... Since morning?
Help me!
What are these?
Mert!
Who are these women, Mert?
Who are these women?
I knew you were up to something.
I was feeling it, Mert, I was feeling it.
May God damn you all.
Don't be silly, dear.
Wait a minute, I can explain all of this.
There's a misunderstanding.
Explain it or I will torn you to pieces!
She said explain it immediately,
within the second.
It's like this, honey, I just came to
the house, I came to the house...
I came and saw Faruk-
That's not a woman.
That's not a corpse.
Not that. It's not a corpse.
Inflatable doll, inflatable doll.
What?
Inflatable doll?
Is there an inflatable doll in this house?
What the hell were you doing
with that inflatable doll?
Mert, look at me!
It's over, don't call me again!
Wait a minute!
Everyone listen to me!
Calm down! Everyone calm down!
Listen to me.
Look at me!
Listen to me! Mert
has nothing to do with it!
Listen to me!
Attention all units.
The person who robbed the jewelers
is about to flee to Yeldeirmeni District.
Send emergency support. OK.
Copy that.
That's it.
Then I couldn't let anyone out of fear.
They'd ask you about my looks and you...
...you say it by mistake.
So after all...
...you are the only one who knows me.
That's why...
...I took in whoever came,
I took in whoever came.
Everything for you...
...it would not be natural to tell.
As you'd understand...
...I'm an outlaw now.
What about the inflatable doll?
You skipped her story.
So you understood everything,
you accepted everything...
...you got stuck with
inflatable doll, zlem?
What should I do, my dear,
it's a woman's mind.
Besides what you told didn't
sound convincing to me at all.
Now bro, did I get it right?
There are cops behind this door...
...and soon they
will raid our house.
Yes my brother.
They're going to raid soon.
Give me your blessings, please.
Just tell them the truth...
...nothing but the truth.
Okay?
I didn't heed the "stop"
warning. There were no cameras.
I am the only suspect.
I'm also a deserter.
It's the end of the road for me.
You stop blabbering now.
Behind this door?
Yes, that's the door.
Is there another door?
Don't open, please. Don't open.
Where, bro?
Where, who is here?
Yes, where are they?
How?
Yes, where are they? They're not here.
Son, take a good look.
Mert. Look down bro, please?
My good bro.
Look, I get it, okay.
I don't know, you have no job.
You want some attention
and care, okay, but...
...we already love you, son.
You are our
childhood friend, bro.
If you're successful
at anything...
...it does not concern us in the least.
It's something that concerns you.
We love you for
who you are, brother.
Cemil, say something too.
Yes, Faruk. We are friends bro.
Whatever happens to us...
...we will remain friends anyway.
Thank you so much my brother...
...thanks, please believe me!
I swear I'm not lying.
Please!
Okay okay. Come on.
You give me this
trust now, come on.
take it from here.
Honey, what is it?
Honey, I'll show you what this is...
...at dinner. If you're ready, let's go.
Show me, my dear, at dinner. Let's go!
Come on.
Bon appetite, go on.
It came all the way to me.
Mr. Cezmi!
My house is available tonight.
I'm coming, wait my dear.
Where to, girls?
Come again, come again.
Do svidaniya!
Faruk.
Do you have my student ID?
Take it bro, you will need this.
You're really something.
Anyway, I'll make it to the exam.
Cemil, I will only say
one thing, brother.
You're in your underwear again.
If it doesn't happen anymore,
you won't push it too far, Faruk...
...well. That's fine. Free, beautiful.
Is anyone left?
Don't slap her ass.
Dishonorable.
We should at least had her patched!
Bastard.
Look under the stairs,
Mert, they must have come.
Where are they? There is a mistake.
Shall we call 155?