Singin' in the Rain (1952) Movie Script
Singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
We're happy again
We'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
And singin'
Just singin' in the rain
This is
Dora Bailey, ladies and gentlemen...
...talking to you from the front
of the Chinese Theater in Hollywood.
What a night, ladies and gentlemen.
What a night!
Every star in Hollywood is here
to make Monumental Pictures' premiere...
...of The Royal Rascal,
the outstanding event of 1927.
Everyone breathlessly awaits...
...the arrival of Lina Lamont
and Don Lockwood.
Look who's arriving now.
It's that famous "zip" girl
of the screen...
...the darling of the flapper set...
...Zelda Zanders!
Zelda! Zelda!
Her new red-hot pash,
J. Cumberland Spendrill III...
...that well-known eligible bachelor.
Zelda's had so much unhappiness,
I hope this time it's really love.
And here comes that
exotic star, Olga Mara!
Ooh.
And her new husband,
the Baron de la Bonnet de la Toulon.
They've been married two months already,
but still as happy as newlyweds.
Well, well, well.
It's Cosmo Brown!
Cosmo is Don's best friend.
He plays the piano on the set
for Don and Lina...
...to get them into
those romantic moods!
Oh, folks, this is it.
This is it!
The stars of tonight's picture,
those romantic lovers of the screen...
...Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont!
Ladies and gentlemen, when you look
at this gorgeous couple...
...it's no wonder they're
a household name all over the world.
Like "bacon and eggs."
"Lockwood and Lamont."
Don, tell me confidentially,
are these rumors true...
...that wedding bells are soon
to ring for you and Lina?
Lina and I have no statement
to make at the present time.
We're just good friends.
You've come a long way together.
Won't you tell us how it happened?
Lina and I have made
a number of pictures together...
Oh, no, no, Don.
I want your story from the beginning.
Dora, not in front of all these people!
The story of your success
is an inspiration...
...to young people all over the world.
Please!
Well, to begin with,
any story of my career...
...would have to include
my lifelong friend, Cosmo Brown.
We were kids together,
grew up together, worked together.
Yes?
Well, Dora, I've had one motto
which I've always lived by:
"Dignity. Always dignity."
This was instilled in me by Mum and Dad
from the very beginning.
They sent me to the finest schools,
including dancing school.
That's where I first met Cosmo.
And with him, I used to perform
for Mum and Dad's society friends.
They used to make such a fuss over me.
If I was very good, I was allowed
to accompany Mum and Dad to the theater.
They brought me up on Shaw...
...Molire, the finest of the classics.
To this was added rigorous
musical training...
...at the Conservatory of Fine Arts.
We rounded out our apprenticeship
at an exclusive dramatics academy.
And at all times...
...the motto remained...
..."Dignity.
Always dignity."
In a few years, we were ready
to embark on a dance concert tour.
We played the finest
symphonic halls in the country.
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
I can jump over
The moon up above
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
Haven't a worry
Haven't a care
Feelin' like a feather
That's floatin' on air
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
Soon the church bells will be ringin'
And a march with Ma and Pa
How the church bells will be ringin'
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a hot-cha-cha
Hi diddle diddle
My baby's okay
Ask me a riddle
I'm happy to say
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
Audiences everywhere adored us.
Get out of here!
Finally we decided to come
to sunny California.
We were stranded...
We were staying here, resting up...
...when offers from the movie
studios started pouring in.
We sorted them out and decided
to favor Monumental Pictures.
Lina, you hate him.
Resist him. Keep that mood music going.
Now, Phil, you come in.
Keep on grinding.
Now you see her. Now here's the bit,
Bert, where you get it on the jaw.
Cut!
No, no! That wasn't right!
You were supposed to go over the bar
and crash into the glasses! Try it again!
Okay, Bert? Bert!
Oh, that's swell, just swell.
Take him away, fellas!
You'll be all right. We've lost
more stuntmen on these pictures...
It'll take hours to get
a new one from Central Casting.
Mr. Dexter, I can do that.
- You? You're a musician.
- That's a moot point.
No kidding!
What's your name?
Don Lockwood, but the fellas
call me "Donald."
Wise guy, huh?
Okay, I'll try you.
Get this guy into Bert's suit!
And remember, Lockwood, you might be
trading that fiddle in for a harp.
Camera!
Phil, come in. Now you see him.
That's it.
Now, here's where you get it
right on the jaw.
Cut!
That was wonderful!
Got any more little chores
you want done?
Plenty!
Okay.
My roles in these films were urbane...
...sophisticated...
...suave.
And of course,
all through those pictures...
...Lina was, as always,
an inspiration to me.
Warm and helpful.
A real lady.
Hello, Miss Lamont.
I'm Don Lockwood, the stuntman.
It was a thrill working
with you, Miss Lamont.
Hey, Don.
Meet the producer
of the picture, R.F. Simpson.
I just saw some rushes and asked
Dexter who the stuntmen were.
He said they were all you. I'm putting
you and Lina together in a picture.
Come to my office.
We'll discuss a contract.
Thanks, Mr. Simpson!
Are you doing anything tonight,
Miss Lamont?
That's funny.
I'm busy.
Lina and I have had the same
wonderful relationship ever since.
But most important of all,
I continue living up to my motto:
"Dignity.
Always dignity."
Thank you, Don.
And I'm sure you and Lina will continue
making movie history tonight...
...in your greatest picture,
The Royal Rascal.
Get enough, boys?
She's so refined...
...I think I'll kill myself.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
We're thrilled at your response
to The Royal Rascal.
We had fun making it, and we hope
you had fun seeing it tonight.
We screen actors aren't much good
at speaking in public.
So we'll just act out our thanks.
Hot diggity! t's a smash!
Don, Lina, you were gorgeous!
Lina, you looked pretty good for a girl.
What's the big idea?
Can't a girl get a word in edgewise?
They're my public too!
The publicity department...
...thought it'd be better if Don
made all the speeches for the team.
Why?
You're beautiful. Audiences think
you got a voice to match.
We gotta keep our stars
from looking ridiculous at any cost.
- No one's got that much money.
- What's wrong with the way I talk?
Am I dumb or something?
No, it's just that Don's
had so much more experience...
Next time, write me out a speech.
I could memorize it.
Sure. Why don't you recite
the Gettysburg Address?
What do you know about it,
you piano player? Are you anybody?
Donnie, how can you let him talk
to me like that, your fiance?
My fia...
Lina, you've been reading
those fan magazines again.
Look, you shouldn't believe
all that banana oil...
...that Dora Bailey dishes out.
Now, try to get this straight:
There is nothing between us.
There has never been
anything between us.
- Just air.
- Oh, Donnie, you don't mean that.
We'll be late for R.F.'s party.
Better go in separate cars
to break up the mobs. Come on, honey.
Ta-ta, Donnie! See you there!
"Donnie."
Can't that girl take a gentle hint?
Haven't you heard? She's irresistible.
She told me so.
I can't get her out of my hair.
This romance for publicity...
The price of fame.
You've got the glory.
The little heartaches go with it.
Look at me. I got no glory.
I got no fame. I got no mansions.
I got no money. But I've got...
- What have I got?
- don't know.
I gotta get out of here.
Don't tell me. It's a flat tire.
This car hasn't given me trouble
in nearly six hours.
Hey, there's Don Lockwood!
Hey, give me an autograph!
Give me your autograph!
I want a souvenir!
I want a souvenir too!
Hey! You're playing rough here!
You're tearing my...!
Hey, Cos, do something!
Call me a cab!
You're a cab.
Thanks a lot!
- Lady, keep driving.
- Get out!
- Everything's all right!
- 'll call a policeman!
- Just a few blocks.
- Don't hurt me!
- 'm not a criminal.
- don't care...
You are a criminal!
I've seen that face. You're a gangster!
I've seen your picture in the paper
or in the post office.
Officer!
- This man jumped in my car and...
- Why, it's Don Lockwood!
- Don Lockwood?
- How are you? Out for a joy ride?
Just a lift. My car broke down.
I got surrounded by...
- You're a lucky lady. Anything wrong?
- Why, no.
No, I should think not.
Good night.
Good night, officer.
Well, thanks for saving my life.
I'll get out now.
I'm driving to Beverly Hills.
Can I drop you someplace?
I'd like to get out of this suit
if you're going by Camden and Sunset.
Yes, I am.
I'd like to know whose
hospitality I'm enjoying.
Selden. Kathy Selden.
Enchanted, Miss Selden.
I'm sorry I frightened you.
I was getting a little
too much love from my fans.
Oh, that's what you were
running away from.
They did that to you?
That's terrible!
Yes. Yes, it is, isn't it?
It is terrible.
Well, we movie stars get the glory...
...I guess we have to take
the little heartaches that go with it.
People think we lead lives
of glamour and romance...
...but we're really lonely.
Terribly lonely.
I really can't tell you how sorry
I am about taking you for a criminal.
But it was understandable, under
the circumstances. I knew I'd seen you.
Which of my pictures have you seen?
I don't remember.
I saw one once.
- You saw one once?
- think you were dueling.
And there was a girl.
Lina Lamont.
I don't go to the movies much.
If you've seen one,
you've seen them all.
Thank you.
No offense.
Movies are entertaining
for the masses...
...but the personalities
on the screen don't impress me.
They don't talk or act.
They just make a lot of dumb show.
Well, you know.
Like that.
You mean, like what I do.
Well, yes.
Here we are, Sunset and Camden.
Wait, you mean I'm not an actor?
- Pantomime isn't acting?
- Of course not.
Acting means great parts,
wonderful lines, glorious words.
Shakespeare. Ibsen.
What's your lofty mission in life...
...that lets you sneer
at my humble profession?
I'm an actress. On the stage.
Oh, on the stage.
I'd like to see you.
What're you in now?
I could brush up on my English
or bring an interpreter.
That's if they'd let in a movie actor.
I'm not in a play now.
But I'm going to New York...
You're going to New York, and someday
we'll all hear of you, won't we?
Kathy Selden as Juliet,
as Lady Macbeth, as King Lear!
You'll have to wear a beard!
Laugh if you want, but the stage
is a dignified profession.
Why are you so conceited?
You're nothing but a shadow on film.
You're not flesh and blood.
- Stop!
- What can I do? 'm only a shadow.
Keep away from me! Just because
you're a big movie star...
...you expect every girl to faint
at your feet. Don't touch me!
Fear not, sweet lady.
I will not molest you.
I am but a humble jester. And you?
You are too far above me.
Farewell, Ethel Barrymore.
I must tear myself from your side.
Is this R.F. Simpson's house?
I'm one of the Coconut Grove girls.
- Yes, the floor show. Around the back.
- Oh, I see. Thank you.
- Nice little party, R.F.
- Thanks, Roscoe.
Do you really think
you can get me in the movies?
- should think so.
- Really?
The picture's great.
There's Don. I loved the picture.
Did you come by way of Australia?
Hello, Cos. Excuse me.
Cos, tell me the truth.
Am I a good actor?
As long as I work for Monumental,
you're the greatest.
No kidding. You're my pal.
You can tell me.
What's the matter?
Of course, you're good.
Keep telling me from time to time.
I feel a little shaken.
- The new Don Lockwood.
Don!
- Hi, R.F.
- t's colossal. Where have you been?
There you are. Where were you?
I was lonely.
Hello, Lina.
Okay, fellas. Hold it.
Together again, my two little stars,
Don and Lina.
No kidding, folks, aren't they great?
All right, open that screen.
- A movie? We just saw one.
- Gotta show one at a party. It's a law.
Everybody, I've got
a few surprises for you.
All right, sit down, sit down.
This'll make you laugh.
There's a madman coming
into my office for months, and...
- You got that gadget working?
All set.
Okay, let her go.
Hello.
This is a demonstration
of a talking picture.
Notice, it is a picture of me
and I am talking.
Note how my lips
and the sound issuing from them...
...are synchronized together...
...in perfect unison.
- Who's that?
- Somebody's talking behind that screen.
Come out from behind
that screen, Mr. Simpson.
Oh, no. I'm right here.
My voice has been recorded on a record.
A talking picture.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Well?
- t's just a toy.
- t's a scream!
- t's vulgar.
- You think they'll ever use it?
I doubt it. Warners is making
a picture with it, The Jazz Singer.
- They'll lose their shirts.
- t'll never amount to a thing.
They said that about
the horseless carriage.
Let's get on with the show.
Okay, boys.
Come on, my little starlets.
I have a surprise.
A very special cake.
I want you kiddies
to have the first piece.
Well! f it isn't Ethel Barrymore!
I do hope you'll favor us with something
special. Say, Hamlet's soliloquy...
...or a scene from Romeo and Juliet?
Don't be shy.
You make about the prettiest Juliet
I've ever seen. Really.
All I do is dream of you
The whole night through
With the dawn I still go on
Dreaming of you
You're every thought
You're everything
You're every song I ever sing
Summer, winter, autumn and spring
And were there more than
Twenty-four hours a day
They'd be spent in sweet content
Dreaming away
When skies are gray
When skies are blue
Morning, noon and nighttime too
All I do the whole day through
Is dream of you
It's the cat's meow!
All I do the whole day through
Is dream of you
- had to tell you how good you were.
- Excuse me.
Now that I know where you live,
I'd like to see you home.
- Listen, Mr. Lockwood...
- Say, who is this dame anyway?
Someone lofty and far above us all.
She couldn't learn anything from
the movies. She's a stage actress.
Here's one thing I've learned
from the movies!
- 'll kill her!
- Lina, she was aiming at me!
- You never looked lovelier.
- t was an accident.
It happens to me
five or six times a day.
Where is she?
Donnie?
Excuse me.
Where'd Miss Selden go?
She grabbed her things and bolted.
Anything I can do?
Sorry. I don't have time to find out.
Kathy!
Hey, Kathy!
Hey!
Keep that action going.
More steam in the kettle!
More action, boys.
A little more rhythm.
More steam and more water.
- Hi, Maxie.
Hi, Don.
- Good morning, fellas.
- Hiya, Don.
Did you read Variety today?
"First talking picture, The Jazz Singer.
All-time smash end of first week."
- All-time flop end of the second.
- We start today.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
I'm now Count Pierre de Bataille,
known as the Duelling Cavalier.
- What's it about?
- t's a French Revolution story.
You're a French aristocrat.
She's a simple girl of the people
and won't even give you a tumble.
Well, it's a living.
Good morning.
Keep the background moving.
Hit him.
Come on. Knock him down!
Get up there and hit him again.
Hurry up!
Why bother to shoot this?
Release the old one under a new title.
You've seen one, you've seen them all.
- Why'd you say that?
- What's the matter?
That's what that Kathy Selden
said to me that night.
That's three weeks ago.
You still thinking about that?
- can't get her out of my mind.
- How could you?
She's the first dame who hasn't
fallen for you since you were 4.
She's on my conscience.
It's not your fault she lost her job.
- 've got to find her.
- You've been trying to.
Short of sending out
bloodhounds and a posse.
Come on, now.
Snap out of it.
You can't let this get you down.
You're Donald Lockwood.
Donald Lockwood's an actor, isn't he?
What's the first thing
an actor learns?
"The show must go on, come rain,
come shine, come snow, come sleet!"
Yeah.
The world's so full
Of a number of things
I'm sure we should all
Be as happy as...
But are we? No
Definitely, no
Positively, no
Decidedly, no
Short people have long faces
Long people have short faces
Big people have little humor
Little people have no humor at all
In the words of that immortal bard
Samuel J. Snodgrass
As he was being led
To the guillotine
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh
Ha, ha
My dad said, "Be an actor, my son
But be a comical one"
They'll be standin' in lines
For those old honky-tonk monkeyshines
Now you could study Shakespeare
And be quite elite
And you could charm the critics
And have nothing to eat
Just slip on a banana peel
The world's at your feet
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make?...
Make'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
My Grandpa said,
"Go out and tell'em a joke
but give it plenty of hoke"
Make'em roar
Make'em scream
Take a fall, butt a wall
Split a seam
You start off by pretending
You're a dancer with grace
You wiggle till they're giggling
All over the place
And then you get
A great big custard pie in the face
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Don't ya...
All the...
What?...
My Dad...
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky-tonk monkeyshines
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Don't you know everyone...
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Ready, Don?
- All set.
- Here we go again.
- We have another smash on our hands.
- hope so.
You're darn tooting we have.
- Where's Lina?
- Here she is, Mr. Dexter.
Well! Here comes our
lovely leading lady now.
This wig weighs a ton.
What dope'd wear a thing like this?
Everybody wore them.
Then everybody was a dope.
- You look beautiful.
- You look great.
Let's get into the set.
Thanks, Joe.
I looked for you at Wally Ray's party.
Where were you?
I've been busy.
And I know what you've been busy at.
Looking for that girl.
- As a matter of fact, yes.
Why?
I've been worried about her.
You should've been worried about me.
I'm the one who got
the whipped cream in the kisser.
Yes, but you didn't
lose your job, and she did.
Darn tooting she did.
I arranged it.
What?
They weren't gonna fire her,
so I told them they better.
- Why...
- Don, now remember.
You're madly in love with her
and you have to overcome her shyness.
Cosmo, mood music.
Roll'em!
Okay, Don.
Now enter.
You see her.
Run to her!
Why, you rattlesnake, you.
You got that poor kid fired.
That's not all I'm gonna do
if I ever get my hands on her.
I never heard of anything so low.
Fine. Fine. Looks great.
What did you do it for?
Because you liked her. I could tell.
So that's it.
Believe me, I don't like her
half as much as I hate you.
You reptile.
Sticks and stones may break my bones.
I'd like to break every bone
in your body.
You and who else, you big lummox?
Now kiss her, Don.
That's it. More.
Great! Cut!
You couldn't kiss me like that and
not mean it just a teensy-weensy bit.
Meet the world's greatest actor.
I'd rather kiss a tarantula!
- You don't mean that!
- don't?...
Joe, bring me a tarantula.
Now listen...
Stop that chitchat, you lovebirds.
Let's get another take.
Hold it.
- Hold it, Dexter!
Hello, Mr. Simpson.
We're really rolling.
Well, you can stop rolling at once.
All right, everybody! Save it!
Save it? Tell them to go home.
We're shutting down.
Don't stand there.
Tell them!
Go home until further notice!
What is this?
What's the matter?
The Jazz Singer,
that's what's the matter.
Oh, my darling little mammy
Down in Alabamy
This is no joke. It's a sensation.
The public's screaming for more.
- More what?
- Talking pictures.
- t's just a freak.
- We should have such a freak.
I said talking pictures were a menace,
but no one would listen.
We're going to make
The Duelling Cavalier into a talking picture.
That means I'm out of a job.
I can start suffering
and write that symphony.
We'll put you in as head
of the music department.
Thanks. I can stop suffering
and write that symphony.
Wait a second. Talking pictures!
You should wait...
Every studio's jumping
on the bandwagon.
All the theaters are putting in
sound equipment.
We know nothing about it.
What do you have to know?
You do what you always did.
You just add talking to it.
Believe me, it'll be a sensation.
"Lamont and Lockwood. They talk!"
Well, of course we talk.
Don't everybody?
I got a feeling
You're fooling
I got a feeling
You're havin' fun
I get the go-by
When you are done foolin' with me
It's a holiday
Today's The Wedding of the Painted Doll
It's a jolly day
The news is spreading
Should I reveal exactly how I feel
Should I confess
I got a feeling you're fooling
I got a feeling you're
It's a holiday
Today's The Wedding
Should I reveal
Exactly how I feel
Should I reveal
Beautiful girl
You're a lovely picture
Beautiful girl
You're a gorgeous mixture
Of all that lies
Under the big blue sky
My heart cries
Who's that? She looks familiar.
You're a dazzling eyeful
I featured her before,
in lots of nightclub shows.
I've seen her there.
She'd be good as Zelda's sister.
- That's a good idea.
- Excuse me.
There may be blondes and brunettes
That are hard to resist
You surpass them like a queen
You've got those lips
That were meant to be kissed
And you're over sweet 16
Beautiful girl
What a gorgeous creature
Beautiful girl
Let me call a preacher
What can I do
But give my heart to you?
A beautiful girl
Is like a great work of art
She's stylish
She's chic
And she also is smart
For lounging in her boudoir
This simple plain pajama
Her cloak is trimmed with monkey fur
To lend a dash of drama
Anyone for tennis?
Well, this will make them cringe
And you'll knock'em dead at dinner
If your gown just drips with fringe
You simply can't be too modest
At the beach or by the pool
And in summertime, it's organdy
That'll keep you fresh and cool
You'd never guess what loud applause
This cunning hat receives
And you'd never dream the things
That you could hide
Within these sleeves
A string of pearls with a suit of tweed
It's started quite a riot
And if you must wear fox to the opera
Dame Fashion says, "Dye it"
Black is best when you're in court
The judge will be impressed
But white is right when you're a bride
And you want to be well-dressed
Beautiful girl
For you I've got a passion
Beautiful girl
You're my queen of fashion
I'm in a whirl
Over
My beautiful girl
- That's stupendous!
- Thanks.
Kathy, come here.
This will start a trend
in musical pictures.
Mr. Simpson's thinking about
casting you as Zelda's sister.
That's wonderful!
Hey, Kathy!
That's Kathy Selden.
Thanks anyway.
It was nice of you.
Wait a minute.
- That's all right.
Before Mr. Lockwood refreshes
your memory, you may as well know...
...I'm the girl who hit Miss Lamont with
a cake. It was meant for Mr. Lockwood.
Goodbye. I'm sorry.
I should've told you.
Wait a minute.
What's this all about?
We were gonna use her, but if
it'd make you and Lina unhappy...
Unhappy? t's wonderful.
He's been looking for her!
Are you speaking for Lina also?
The owner of the Coconut Grove
may do what Lina tells him...
...but you're the head of this studio.
- Yes, I am.
She's hired.
Don't let Lina know she's on the lot.
Take care of that.
Thank you, Mr. Simpson!
I'm glad you turned up.
We've been looking inside every cake in town.
Is it all right for you
to be seen with me?
You mean, lofty star with humble player?
Not exactly. But for lunch, don't you
tear a pheasant with Miss Lamont?
Look, Kathy. All that stuff
about Lina and me is sheer publicity.
Oh? Certainly seems more than that...
...from what I've read in all
those articles in the fan magazines.
Ohh, you read the fan magazines?
I pick them up in the beauty
parlor or the dentist's office...
...just like anybody.
Honest?
I buy four or five a month.
You buy four or five?
To get back to the main point...
...you achieve a kind of intimacy
in all your pictures...
Did you say all my pictures?
Now that I think of it,
I've seen eight or nine of them.
Eight or nine.
It seems to me
I remember someone saying:
"If you've seen one,
you've seen them all."
I did say some awful things
that night, didn't I?
No, I deserved them.
Of course, I must admit
I was pretty much upset by them.
So upset that I haven't been able
to think of anything but you ever since.
Honest?
Honest.
Well, I've been pretty upset too.
Kathy...
Kathy, look, I...
Kathy, seeing you again now that I...
I'm trying to say
something to you, but I...
I'm such a ham.
I guess I'm not able to
without the proper setting.
What do you mean?
Well...
Come here.
This is the proper setting.
Why, it's just an empty stage.
At first glance, yes.
But wait a second.
A beautiful sunset.
Mist from the distant mountains.
Colored lights in a garden.
Milady is standing on her balcony,
in a rose-trellised bower...
...flooded with moonlight.
We add 500,000 kilowatts of stardust.
A soft summer breeze.
And...
You sure look lovely in the moonlight.
Now that you have the proper setting,
can you say it?
I'll try.
Life was a song
You came along
I've laid awake
the whole night through
If I but dared
To think you cared
This is what
I'd say to you
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Nature patterned you
And when she was done
You were all the sweet things
Rolled up in one
You're like
A plaintive melody
That never lets me free
But I'm content
The angels must have sent you
And they meant you
Just for me
But I'm content
The angels must have sent you
And they meant you
Just for me
Now...
Ta, te, ti, toe, too.
No, no, Miss Lamont...
...round tones, round tones.
Now let me hear you read your line.
"And I can't stan"im."
And I can't stand him.
"And I can't stan"im."
"Can't."
Can't.
"Can't."
Can't!
Can't. Can't.
Very good.
"Around the rocks
the rugged rascal ran."
"Around the rocks the rugged..."
No, no. "Rocks." "Rocks."
"Around the rocks
the rugged rascal ran."
Very good.
Hi, Don.
- Shall I continue?
- Don't mind me.
Now.
"Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter...
...seized his knees and sneezed."
"Sinful Caesar snipped his sifter..."
Sipped his snifter.
"Sipped his snifter."
Oh, thank you.
"Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter,
seized his knees and sneezed."
- Marvelous.
- Wonderful.
Here is a good one.
"Chester chooses chestnuts,
cheddar cheese with chewy chives.
He chews them and he chooses them.
He chooses them and he chews them...
...those chestnuts,
cheddar cheese and chives...
...in cheery, charming chunks."
- Wonderful! Do another one.
- Thank you.
"Moses supposes his toeses are roses...
...but Moses supposes erroneously.
Moses, he knowses
his toeses aren't roses...
...as Moses supposes his toeses to be."
"Moses supposes his toeses are roses...
...but Moses supposes erroneously."
"But Moses, he knowses
his toes aren't roses...
...as Moses supposes his toeses to be."
Moses supposes his toeses are roses...
...but Moses supposes erroneously.
A mose is a mose.
A rose is a rose.
A toes is a toes.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
Moses, he knowses
His toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
For Moses knowses
His toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
A rose is a rose
Is a rose is a rose is
A rose is what Moses
Supposes his toes is
Couldn't be a lily
Or a taffy daffy dilly
It's gotta be a rose
'Cause it rhymes with "mose"
Moses
"A"
All right, here we go.
- Quiet!
Quiet.
Roll'em!
Oh, Pierre. You shouldn't have come.
She's gotta talk into the mike.
I can't pick it up.
Cut!
What's the matter?
It's Lina.
Look, Lina, don't you remember?
I told you.
There's a microphone right there...
...in the bush.
- Yeah.
You have to talk into it.
I was talking.
Wasn't I, Miss Dinsmore?
Yes, my dear. But please remember,
round tones.
"Pierre, you shouldn't have come."
Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
That's much better...
Hold it a second.
Now, Lina, look.
Here's the mike.
Right here in the bush.
Yeah.
Now, you talk towards it.
The sound goes through the cable
to the box.
A man records it
on a big record in wax...
...but you have to talk
into the mike first.
In the bush!
Now try it again.
Gee, this is dumb.
She'll get it, Dexter.
Don't worry.
We're all nervous the first day.
Everything will be okay.
By the way. You know the scene
coming up where I say:
"Imperious princess of the night"?
I don't like those lines.
Is it all right if I say what I always do?
"I love you. I love you. I love you."
Sure. Any way it's comfortable.
But into the bush!
Okay.
Again!
Quiet!
Roll'em!
Cut!
We're missing every other word.
You've got to talk into the mike!
Well, I can't make love to a bush!
All right, all right.
We'll have to think of something else.
What are you doing?
- You're being wired for sound.
- What?
Watch out for those dentalized D's
and T's and those flat A's.
Everybody's picking on me.
Okay, Lina.
Now look at this flower, see?
The mike is in there.
That's it.
The sound will run from it...
...through this wire, onto the record.
It'll catch whatever you say.
Now let's hear how it sounds, Lina.
Okay, quiet!
Roll'em!
Oh, Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
You're flirting with danger.
What's that noise?
It's picking up her heartbeat.
Swell.
Cut!
That's right. That should do it.
Now, don't forget.
The mike is on your shoulder.
And whatever you say goes
through the wire onto the record.
Now, please, Lina, talk into the mike.
Don't make any quick movements
or you might disconnect it.
Okay, let's go.
- Quiet.
Quiet.
Roll'em.
Oh, Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
You're flirting with danger.
What's this wire doing here?
It's dangerous.
You'd better not go in together.
Lina's probably waiting
right inside the door.
- Oh, how I wish...
- Don't worry.
I'll lead the cheering section
in the balcony. Good luck.
- Mr. Lockwood.
Hello.
What's that?
The storm outside?
It's those pearls, Mr. Simpson.
I am the noblest lady of the court,
second only to the queen.
Yet I am the saddest
of mortals in France.
What is the matter, milady?
I'm so downhearted, Theresa.
My father has me betrothed
to the Baron de Landsfield...
...and I can't stand him.
Oh, but he's such a catch.
All the ladies of the court
wish they were in your shoes.
My heart belongs to another...
...Pierre de Bataille.
Ever since I met him,
I can't get him out of my mind.
Sounds good and loud, huh?
Oh, Pierre!
You shouldn't have come.
You're flirting with danger.
They will surely find you out.
Your head is much too valuable.
She never could remember
where the microphone was.
'Tis Cupid himself
that called me here...
...and I...
...smitten by his arrow,
must fly to your side...
...despite the threats
of Madame Guillotine.
But the night is full of our enemies.
What you hitting him with,
a blackjack?
Imperious princess of the night...
...I love you.
Oh, Pierre.
I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you!
Did somebody get paid
for writing that?
Sounds like a comedy.
- t's a Lockwood-Lamont talkie.
- What?
This is terrible.
What's that?
The sound.
It's out of synchronization!
Tell them to fix it.
Yes, sir.
What's this? Yvonne?
Captured by Rouge Noir
of the Purple Terror?
Ohh. Oh, my sword!
I must fly to her side!
Yvonne, Yvonne...
...my own.
Pierre will save me. Pierre!
Pierre is miles away, you witch.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes.
This is a scream.
Give me The Jazz Singer.
"I love you, I love you, I love you"...
- We're all ruined.
- You can't release this.
We're booked to open
in six weeks all over the country.
But you're such big stars,
we might get by.
I never wanna see
Lockwood and Lamont again.
Wasn't it awful?
This is the worst picture ever made.
I liked it.
Well, take a last look at it.
It'll be up for auction
in the morning.
You're out of your mind.
It's Saturday.
No bank will foreclose until Monday.
- t wasn't so bad.
- That's what I told him.
There's no use kidding myself.
Once they release The Duelling Cavalier,
Lockwood and Lamont are through.
The picture's a museum piece.
I'm a museum piece.
Things went wrong with the sound.
Get the technical...
No, it wasn't that.
This is sweet of both of you, but I...
Something happened to me tonight.
Everything you said
about me is true.
I'm no actor.
I never was.
Just a lot of dumb show.
I know that now.
Well, at least you're
taking it lying down.
No kidding, Cosmo.
Did you ever see anything
as idiotic as me on that screen?
Yeah. How about Lina?
Heh. I ran her a close second.
Maybe it was a photo finish.
I'm through.
You're not through.
Why, of course not.
With your looks,
you could drive an ice wagon.
- Or shine shoes.
- Block hats.
- Sell pencils.
- Dig ditches.
Or go back into vaudeville.
Fit as a fiddle and ready for love
I could jump over the moon up above
Fit as a fiddle and ready for love
Too bad I didn't do that in Duelling Cavalier.
They might have liked it.
- Why don't you?
- What?
- Make a musical.
- A musical?
Sure. Make a musical.
The new Don Lockwood.
He yodels, he jumps about to music.
The only trouble is
that after Duelling Cavalier...
...nobody'd come to see me jump off
the Woolworth Building into a damp rag.
Turn The Duelling Cavalier
into a musical.
- Duelling Cavalier?
- Sure.
They've got six weeks before
it's released.
Add songs and dances,
trim bad scenes, add new ones.
And you got it.
Hey, I think it'll work.
- Of course!
- t's a cinch.
It may be crazy, but we'll do it.
The Duelling Cavalier
is now a musical.
- Hot dog!
- Hallelujah!
Whoopee! Fellas, I feel this is
my lucky day, March 23rd.
- Your lucky day's the 24th.
- What?
It's 1:30 already.
It's morning!
Yes. And what a lovely morning!
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
We've talked the whole night through
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
It's great to stay up late
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
When the band began to play
The stars were shining bright
Now the milkman's on his way
It's too late to say good night
So good mornin'
Good mornin'
Sunbeams will soon smile through
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
And you and you and you
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
We've gabbed the whole night through
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Nothing could be grander
Than to be in Louisiana
In the mornin'
In the mornin'
It's great to stay up late
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Might be just as zippy
If we was in Mississippi
When we left the movie show
The future wasn't bright
But came the dawn, the show goes on
And I don't wanna say good night
So say good mornin'
Good mornin'
Rainbows are shinin' through
- Good mornin'
- Good mornin'
- Bonjour!
- Monsieur!
- Buenos das!
- Muchas fras!
- Buon giorno!
- A ritorno!
- Guten morgen!
- Guten morgen!
Good mornin' to you
Ol!
- Toro!
- Toro!
Hey, we can't make this a musical.
What do you mean?
Lina.
- Lina.
- Lina.
She can't act, she can't sing
and she can't dance.
- A triple threat.
- Yeah.
What's so funny?
I'm sorry, I was just thinking.
I liked her best when
the sound went off and she said:
"Yes, yes, yes."
"No, no, no."
"Yes, yes, yes."
"No, no..."
Wait a minute.
I am just about to be brilliant.
Come here, Kathy.
Come here. Now, sing.
Huh?
- said sing.
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
Don, keep your eyes
riveted on my face.
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Watch my mouth.
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
It's great to stay up late
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Well, convincing?
Enchanting. What?
Don't you get it?
Use Kathy's voice.
Lina moves her mouth
and Kathy sings and talks for her.
That's wonderful!
- couldn't let you do it, Kathy.
- Why not?
You wouldn't be seen.
You'd throw away your career.
It has nothing to do with my career.
It's only for this picture.
The important thing is to save
The Duelling Cavalier...
...save Lockwood and Lamont.
- Yeah.
Well, all right, if it's only
for this one picture, but...
- You think it'll get by?
- Of course.
It's simple to work the numbers.
Just dance around Lina
and teach her how to take a bow.
We'll spring it on R.F.
In the morning.
Don, you're a genius.
I'm glad you thought of it.
Oh, Cosmo.
Good night, Kathy. See you tomorrow.
Good night, Don.
Take care of that throat.
You're a big singing star now, remember?
This California dew
is just a little heavier than usual.
Really?
From where I stand,
the sun is shining all over the place.
I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin'
Singin' in the rain
Dancin' in the rain
I'm happy again
I'm singin'
And dancin' in the rain
I'm dancin'
And singin'
In the rain
Why, that's wonderful!
We'll keep it secret
until we're ready to release...
...just in case it doesn't come off.
I'm worried about Lina.
She doesn't like Miss Selden.
There might be fireworks.
Lina won't even know she's on the lot.
Boys, this is great.
The Duelling Cavalier can be saved.
Now, let's see.
The Duelling Cavalierwith music.
The title.
The title's not right.
We need a musical title. Cosmo?
Hey! The Duelling Mammy.
No.
I've got it.
No.
The Dancing Cavalier!
That's it.
The Dancing Cavalier.
- Remind me to make you a scriptwriter.
- Thanks. Have a cigar.
Thanks.
Now, what about the story?
We need modern musical numbers.
We throw a modern section into it.
The hero's a hoofer on Broadway.
He sings and he dances.
One night, backstage, he's reading
The Tale of Two Cities.
A sandbag hits his head.
He dreams he's back
during the French Revolution.
This way, we get in
the modern dancing numbers.
But in the dream,
we can still use the costumes.
Sensational! Cosmo,
remind me to give you a raise.
- Oh, R.F.
- Yes?
Give me a raise.
He holds her in his arms
Would you?
He tells her of her charms
Would you?
They met as you and I
And they were only friends
But before...
...the story ends
He'll kiss her with a sigh
Would you?
And if the girl were I
Would you?
And would you dare to say
Let's do the same
As they
I would
Would you?
And would you dare to say
Let's do the same
As they
I would
Would you?
Perfect! That Selden girl is great.
I'm gonna give her a big buildup.
- Swell!
- How much is there left to do?
- One scene and a number.
- What number?
It's a new one.
It's for the modern part.
It's called "Broadway Melody."
It's the story of a young hoofer
who comes to New York.
First, we set the stage with a song.
It goes like this.
Don't bring a frown to old Broadway
You gotta clown on Broadway
Your troubles there
They're out of style
For Broadway always wears a smile
A million lights
They flicker there
A million hearts beat quicker there
No skies of gray
On that Great White Way
That's the Broadway
Melody
Gotta dance
Shh.
Gotta dance
Gotta dance, gotta dance
Broadway rhythm
It's got me
Everybody dance
Broadway rhythm
It's got me
Everybody dance
Out on that Gay White Way
And each merry caf
Orchestras play
Taking your breath away
Broadway rhythm
It's got me
Everybody sing and dance
Oh, that Broadway rhythm
When I hear that happy beat
Feel like dancin' down the street
To that Broadway rhythm
Writhing, beating
Rhythm
Gotta dance
When I hear that happy beat
Feel like dancin' down the street
When I hear that happy beat
Feel like dancin' down the street
Gotta dance
Gotta dance
Gotta dance
Gotta dance
That's the Broadway
Melody
That's the idea.
What do you think of it?
I can't visualize it.
I'll have to see it on film first.
- On film, it'll be better yet.
- Don't forget.
Have Selden re-record
all of Lina's dialogue.
- t's all set up.
- And remember...
...don't let Lina know about it.
All set in there?
Right.
Nothing can keep us apart.
Our love will last
till the stars turn cold.
All right, Kathy. Go ahead.
Nothing can keep us apart.
Our love will last
till the stars turn cold.
That's great! Perfect. Cut.
Till the stars turn cold.
Oh, Kathy, I love you.
I can't wait till
this picture's finished.
No more secrecy.
I'm gonna let Lina and everyone know.
Your fans will be
bitterly disappointed.
From now on, there's only
one fan I'm worried about.
There!
- What did I tell you?
- Thanks, Zelda. You're a real pal.
I want that girl off the lot at once!
She ain't gonna be my voice.
Zelda told me everything.
- Thanks, Zelda. You're a real pal.
- Anytime, Don.
Look, Don and I...
Don! Don't you dare call him Don!
I was calling him Don
before you were born.
I mean...
You were kissing him!
I was kissing her.
I happen to be in love with her.
That's ridiculous! Everybody knows
you're in love with me.
Ha, ha. Now look, Lina.
Try and understand this.
I'm going to marry her.
Silly boy.
She ain't the marrying kind.
She's a flirt
trying to get ahead by using you.
Well, I'll put a stop to that!
I'm gonna go up and see R.F. Right now!
A little late.
The picture's finished.
If she weren't in it,
you'd be finished too.
As far as I can see,
she's the only one who's finished.
Who'll hear of her?
Everybody. Why do you think
Zelda's in such a sweat?
Kathy nearly stole
the picture from her.
She's only doing you a favor
in The Dancing Cavalier.
And she's getting
full screen credit for it too.
It'll say on the screen
that I don't talk and sing for myself?
Of course. What do you think?
- They can't do that.
- t's already done.
There's a whole
publicity campaign planned.
Publicity?
They can't make a fool out of me.
They can't make a laughingstock
out of Lina Lamont.
What do they think I am,
dumb or something?
Why, I make more money...
...than Calvin Coolidge...
...put together!
"Monumental Pictures enthusiastic
over Lina's singing and dancing."
I never said that.
"Premiere tomorrow night to reveal
Lina Lamont, big musical talent."
You can't pull a switch like this
on the publicity department.
We were prepared
for the Selden campaign.
Now you do this.
At least keep us informed.
Wait a minute.
I don't know anything about this.
What are we gonna do?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
You wouldn't wanna call the papers
and say Lina Lamont...
...is a big fat liar.
Did you send this stuff out?
I gave an exclusive story
to every paper in town.
You'll never get away with it.
Call the papers.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Don't tell me what to do, Lina.
What do you think I am,
dumb or something?
I had my lawyer go over my contract.
Contract?
And I control my publicity, not you.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
The studio is responsible
for every word printed about me.
If I don't like it, I can sue.
What?
I can sue.
If you tell the papers
about Kathy Selden...
...it would be "detrimental
and deleterious" to my career.
I could sue you for the whole studio.
- That's a lot of nonsense.
- Says so.
Right here.
Contract dated June 8, 1925,
paragraph 34, subdivision letter A.
"The party of the first part..."
- That's me.
- You win, Lina.
We better take Kathy's
credit card off the screen.
All right, go ahead.
Let's just get
this premiere over with.
Satisfied?
There's just one little thing more.
You want me to change the name of
the studio to Lamont Pictures, Inc?
R.F., you're cute.
Now, I was just thinking.
You've given her
a part in Zelda's picture...
...and you'll give her
a bigger one in the next.
So, what?
If she's done such a grand job
doubling for my voice...
...don't you think she ought to
go on doing just that?
- And nothing else.
- You're out of your mind.
I'm still more important
to the studio than she is.
I wouldn't do that to her
in a million years.
You'd take her career away.
People don't do things like that.
People?
I ain't people.
I am a...
"A shimmering, glowing star
in the cinema firmament."
It says so...
...right there.
Oh, Pierre, Pierre, my darling.
At last, I've found you.
Oh, Pierre.
Pierre, you're hurt.
Speak to me, speak to me.
I'll kiss her with a sigh
Would you?
And if the girl were I
Would you?
Oh, Pierre, hold me
in your arms always.
Lockwood's a sensation.
Yes, but Lamont! What a voice!
Isn't she marvelous?
- t's going over wonderfully, isn't it?
- Yeah.
Our love will last
till the stars turn cold.
And would you dare to say
Let's do the same as they
I would
Would you?
R.F., it's a real smash.
- Congratulations. We owe you a lot.
- Thank you.
- Kathy, we made it!
- t's a miracle!
It's great, Don. Just great.
You were fabulous.
You sang as well as Kathy Selden.
And I'm gonna for a long time.
What do you mean?
I mean she's gonna go
right on singing for me.
Listen, Lina.
I thought something was cooking
beneath those bleached curls.
Kathy has her own career.
She only did this for this picture.
That's what you think.
Come on, come on.
- Lina's getting carried away.
- Yeah, she is.
Listen, you boa constrictor.
Don't get any fancy ideas
about the future. Tell her!
Never mind, R. F!
Listen to that applause.
Wait till the money rolls in.
You won't give all that up because
a nobody don't wanna be my voice.
She's got something.
It's a gold mine.
Part of that choice is mine.
And I just won't do it.
You've got a five-year contract.
You'll do what R.F. Says.
What's the matter?
Why don't you tell her off?
I'm confused.
This thing is so big...
- They're tearing the house apart.
- Take a curtain call.
I once gave you a cigar.
Can I have it back?
Listen! 'm an avalanche!
Selden, you're stuck.
If this happens, get a new boy.
I won't stand for it.
Who needs you? They'd come to see me
if I played opposite a monkey!
Don's a smash too.
I'll say a few words.
I'm still running the studio.
I'm not so sure!
You're Mr. Producer,
always running things, running me.
From now on, as far as I'm concerned,
I'm running things.
- Lina Lamont Pictures, Inc., huh?
- Yeah.
You've gone a little too far.
- They're yelling for a speech.
- A speech?
Yeah, everybody's always making
speeches for me.
Tonight, I'm gonna do my own talking.
I'm gonna make the speech!
No, please!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
This is Lina's big night
and she's entitled to do the talking.
- Right?
- Right.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can't tell you...
...how thrilled we are
at your reception...
...for The Dancing Cavalier,
our first musical picture together.
If we bring a little joy
into your humdrum lives...
...it makes us feel
as though our hard work...
...ain't been in vain for nothing.
Bless you all.
She didn't sound that way
in the picture.
Cut the talk, Lina. Sing!
Sing us a song, Lina.
Sing to us.
Please.
Come on, Lina, sing.
I got an idea. Come here.
Now, listen.
What am I gonna do?
We've got it.
Get a mike set up back of that curtain.
Kathy, come here.
Kathy will stand back of there and sing.
She'll be back of the curtain singing,
and I'll be in front...
- Like in the picture?
- Right.
You've gotta do it. This is too big.
She's got a five-year contract with me.
Get over to that mike.
You heard him, Kathy. Now do it!
I'll do it, Don.
But I never want to see you again...
...on or off the screen.
Now, come on, Lina.
What are you gonna sing?
"Singin' in the Rain."
In what key?
A- flat.
A- flat.
In A-flat.
I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
And singin'
Just singin' in the rain
I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Stop that girl!
That girl running up the aisle!
Stop her!
That's the girl whose voice
you heard and loved.
She's the real star of the picture,
Kathy Selden!
Kathy.
You are
My lucky star
I saw you
From afar
Two lovely eyes
At me they were gleaming
Beaming
I was starstruck
You're all
My lucky charms
I'm lucky
In your arms
You've opened heaven's portal
Here on earth for this poor mortal
You
Are my
Lucky star
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
We're happy again
We'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
And singin'
Just singin' in the rain
This is
Dora Bailey, ladies and gentlemen...
...talking to you from the front
of the Chinese Theater in Hollywood.
What a night, ladies and gentlemen.
What a night!
Every star in Hollywood is here
to make Monumental Pictures' premiere...
...of The Royal Rascal,
the outstanding event of 1927.
Everyone breathlessly awaits...
...the arrival of Lina Lamont
and Don Lockwood.
Look who's arriving now.
It's that famous "zip" girl
of the screen...
...the darling of the flapper set...
...Zelda Zanders!
Zelda! Zelda!
Her new red-hot pash,
J. Cumberland Spendrill III...
...that well-known eligible bachelor.
Zelda's had so much unhappiness,
I hope this time it's really love.
And here comes that
exotic star, Olga Mara!
Ooh.
And her new husband,
the Baron de la Bonnet de la Toulon.
They've been married two months already,
but still as happy as newlyweds.
Well, well, well.
It's Cosmo Brown!
Cosmo is Don's best friend.
He plays the piano on the set
for Don and Lina...
...to get them into
those romantic moods!
Oh, folks, this is it.
This is it!
The stars of tonight's picture,
those romantic lovers of the screen...
...Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont!
Ladies and gentlemen, when you look
at this gorgeous couple...
...it's no wonder they're
a household name all over the world.
Like "bacon and eggs."
"Lockwood and Lamont."
Don, tell me confidentially,
are these rumors true...
...that wedding bells are soon
to ring for you and Lina?
Lina and I have no statement
to make at the present time.
We're just good friends.
You've come a long way together.
Won't you tell us how it happened?
Lina and I have made
a number of pictures together...
Oh, no, no, Don.
I want your story from the beginning.
Dora, not in front of all these people!
The story of your success
is an inspiration...
...to young people all over the world.
Please!
Well, to begin with,
any story of my career...
...would have to include
my lifelong friend, Cosmo Brown.
We were kids together,
grew up together, worked together.
Yes?
Well, Dora, I've had one motto
which I've always lived by:
"Dignity. Always dignity."
This was instilled in me by Mum and Dad
from the very beginning.
They sent me to the finest schools,
including dancing school.
That's where I first met Cosmo.
And with him, I used to perform
for Mum and Dad's society friends.
They used to make such a fuss over me.
If I was very good, I was allowed
to accompany Mum and Dad to the theater.
They brought me up on Shaw...
...Molire, the finest of the classics.
To this was added rigorous
musical training...
...at the Conservatory of Fine Arts.
We rounded out our apprenticeship
at an exclusive dramatics academy.
And at all times...
...the motto remained...
..."Dignity.
Always dignity."
In a few years, we were ready
to embark on a dance concert tour.
We played the finest
symphonic halls in the country.
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
I can jump over
The moon up above
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
Haven't a worry
Haven't a care
Feelin' like a feather
That's floatin' on air
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
Soon the church bells will be ringin'
And a march with Ma and Pa
How the church bells will be ringin'
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a hot-cha-cha
Hi diddle diddle
My baby's okay
Ask me a riddle
I'm happy to say
Fit as a fiddle
And ready for love
Audiences everywhere adored us.
Get out of here!
Finally we decided to come
to sunny California.
We were stranded...
We were staying here, resting up...
...when offers from the movie
studios started pouring in.
We sorted them out and decided
to favor Monumental Pictures.
Lina, you hate him.
Resist him. Keep that mood music going.
Now, Phil, you come in.
Keep on grinding.
Now you see her. Now here's the bit,
Bert, where you get it on the jaw.
Cut!
No, no! That wasn't right!
You were supposed to go over the bar
and crash into the glasses! Try it again!
Okay, Bert? Bert!
Oh, that's swell, just swell.
Take him away, fellas!
You'll be all right. We've lost
more stuntmen on these pictures...
It'll take hours to get
a new one from Central Casting.
Mr. Dexter, I can do that.
- You? You're a musician.
- That's a moot point.
No kidding!
What's your name?
Don Lockwood, but the fellas
call me "Donald."
Wise guy, huh?
Okay, I'll try you.
Get this guy into Bert's suit!
And remember, Lockwood, you might be
trading that fiddle in for a harp.
Camera!
Phil, come in. Now you see him.
That's it.
Now, here's where you get it
right on the jaw.
Cut!
That was wonderful!
Got any more little chores
you want done?
Plenty!
Okay.
My roles in these films were urbane...
...sophisticated...
...suave.
And of course,
all through those pictures...
...Lina was, as always,
an inspiration to me.
Warm and helpful.
A real lady.
Hello, Miss Lamont.
I'm Don Lockwood, the stuntman.
It was a thrill working
with you, Miss Lamont.
Hey, Don.
Meet the producer
of the picture, R.F. Simpson.
I just saw some rushes and asked
Dexter who the stuntmen were.
He said they were all you. I'm putting
you and Lina together in a picture.
Come to my office.
We'll discuss a contract.
Thanks, Mr. Simpson!
Are you doing anything tonight,
Miss Lamont?
That's funny.
I'm busy.
Lina and I have had the same
wonderful relationship ever since.
But most important of all,
I continue living up to my motto:
"Dignity.
Always dignity."
Thank you, Don.
And I'm sure you and Lina will continue
making movie history tonight...
...in your greatest picture,
The Royal Rascal.
Get enough, boys?
She's so refined...
...I think I'll kill myself.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
We're thrilled at your response
to The Royal Rascal.
We had fun making it, and we hope
you had fun seeing it tonight.
We screen actors aren't much good
at speaking in public.
So we'll just act out our thanks.
Hot diggity! t's a smash!
Don, Lina, you were gorgeous!
Lina, you looked pretty good for a girl.
What's the big idea?
Can't a girl get a word in edgewise?
They're my public too!
The publicity department...
...thought it'd be better if Don
made all the speeches for the team.
Why?
You're beautiful. Audiences think
you got a voice to match.
We gotta keep our stars
from looking ridiculous at any cost.
- No one's got that much money.
- What's wrong with the way I talk?
Am I dumb or something?
No, it's just that Don's
had so much more experience...
Next time, write me out a speech.
I could memorize it.
Sure. Why don't you recite
the Gettysburg Address?
What do you know about it,
you piano player? Are you anybody?
Donnie, how can you let him talk
to me like that, your fiance?
My fia...
Lina, you've been reading
those fan magazines again.
Look, you shouldn't believe
all that banana oil...
...that Dora Bailey dishes out.
Now, try to get this straight:
There is nothing between us.
There has never been
anything between us.
- Just air.
- Oh, Donnie, you don't mean that.
We'll be late for R.F.'s party.
Better go in separate cars
to break up the mobs. Come on, honey.
Ta-ta, Donnie! See you there!
"Donnie."
Can't that girl take a gentle hint?
Haven't you heard? She's irresistible.
She told me so.
I can't get her out of my hair.
This romance for publicity...
The price of fame.
You've got the glory.
The little heartaches go with it.
Look at me. I got no glory.
I got no fame. I got no mansions.
I got no money. But I've got...
- What have I got?
- don't know.
I gotta get out of here.
Don't tell me. It's a flat tire.
This car hasn't given me trouble
in nearly six hours.
Hey, there's Don Lockwood!
Hey, give me an autograph!
Give me your autograph!
I want a souvenir!
I want a souvenir too!
Hey! You're playing rough here!
You're tearing my...!
Hey, Cos, do something!
Call me a cab!
You're a cab.
Thanks a lot!
- Lady, keep driving.
- Get out!
- Everything's all right!
- 'll call a policeman!
- Just a few blocks.
- Don't hurt me!
- 'm not a criminal.
- don't care...
You are a criminal!
I've seen that face. You're a gangster!
I've seen your picture in the paper
or in the post office.
Officer!
- This man jumped in my car and...
- Why, it's Don Lockwood!
- Don Lockwood?
- How are you? Out for a joy ride?
Just a lift. My car broke down.
I got surrounded by...
- You're a lucky lady. Anything wrong?
- Why, no.
No, I should think not.
Good night.
Good night, officer.
Well, thanks for saving my life.
I'll get out now.
I'm driving to Beverly Hills.
Can I drop you someplace?
I'd like to get out of this suit
if you're going by Camden and Sunset.
Yes, I am.
I'd like to know whose
hospitality I'm enjoying.
Selden. Kathy Selden.
Enchanted, Miss Selden.
I'm sorry I frightened you.
I was getting a little
too much love from my fans.
Oh, that's what you were
running away from.
They did that to you?
That's terrible!
Yes. Yes, it is, isn't it?
It is terrible.
Well, we movie stars get the glory...
...I guess we have to take
the little heartaches that go with it.
People think we lead lives
of glamour and romance...
...but we're really lonely.
Terribly lonely.
I really can't tell you how sorry
I am about taking you for a criminal.
But it was understandable, under
the circumstances. I knew I'd seen you.
Which of my pictures have you seen?
I don't remember.
I saw one once.
- You saw one once?
- think you were dueling.
And there was a girl.
Lina Lamont.
I don't go to the movies much.
If you've seen one,
you've seen them all.
Thank you.
No offense.
Movies are entertaining
for the masses...
...but the personalities
on the screen don't impress me.
They don't talk or act.
They just make a lot of dumb show.
Well, you know.
Like that.
You mean, like what I do.
Well, yes.
Here we are, Sunset and Camden.
Wait, you mean I'm not an actor?
- Pantomime isn't acting?
- Of course not.
Acting means great parts,
wonderful lines, glorious words.
Shakespeare. Ibsen.
What's your lofty mission in life...
...that lets you sneer
at my humble profession?
I'm an actress. On the stage.
Oh, on the stage.
I'd like to see you.
What're you in now?
I could brush up on my English
or bring an interpreter.
That's if they'd let in a movie actor.
I'm not in a play now.
But I'm going to New York...
You're going to New York, and someday
we'll all hear of you, won't we?
Kathy Selden as Juliet,
as Lady Macbeth, as King Lear!
You'll have to wear a beard!
Laugh if you want, but the stage
is a dignified profession.
Why are you so conceited?
You're nothing but a shadow on film.
You're not flesh and blood.
- Stop!
- What can I do? 'm only a shadow.
Keep away from me! Just because
you're a big movie star...
...you expect every girl to faint
at your feet. Don't touch me!
Fear not, sweet lady.
I will not molest you.
I am but a humble jester. And you?
You are too far above me.
Farewell, Ethel Barrymore.
I must tear myself from your side.
Is this R.F. Simpson's house?
I'm one of the Coconut Grove girls.
- Yes, the floor show. Around the back.
- Oh, I see. Thank you.
- Nice little party, R.F.
- Thanks, Roscoe.
Do you really think
you can get me in the movies?
- should think so.
- Really?
The picture's great.
There's Don. I loved the picture.
Did you come by way of Australia?
Hello, Cos. Excuse me.
Cos, tell me the truth.
Am I a good actor?
As long as I work for Monumental,
you're the greatest.
No kidding. You're my pal.
You can tell me.
What's the matter?
Of course, you're good.
Keep telling me from time to time.
I feel a little shaken.
- The new Don Lockwood.
Don!
- Hi, R.F.
- t's colossal. Where have you been?
There you are. Where were you?
I was lonely.
Hello, Lina.
Okay, fellas. Hold it.
Together again, my two little stars,
Don and Lina.
No kidding, folks, aren't they great?
All right, open that screen.
- A movie? We just saw one.
- Gotta show one at a party. It's a law.
Everybody, I've got
a few surprises for you.
All right, sit down, sit down.
This'll make you laugh.
There's a madman coming
into my office for months, and...
- You got that gadget working?
All set.
Okay, let her go.
Hello.
This is a demonstration
of a talking picture.
Notice, it is a picture of me
and I am talking.
Note how my lips
and the sound issuing from them...
...are synchronized together...
...in perfect unison.
- Who's that?
- Somebody's talking behind that screen.
Come out from behind
that screen, Mr. Simpson.
Oh, no. I'm right here.
My voice has been recorded on a record.
A talking picture.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Well?
- t's just a toy.
- t's a scream!
- t's vulgar.
- You think they'll ever use it?
I doubt it. Warners is making
a picture with it, The Jazz Singer.
- They'll lose their shirts.
- t'll never amount to a thing.
They said that about
the horseless carriage.
Let's get on with the show.
Okay, boys.
Come on, my little starlets.
I have a surprise.
A very special cake.
I want you kiddies
to have the first piece.
Well! f it isn't Ethel Barrymore!
I do hope you'll favor us with something
special. Say, Hamlet's soliloquy...
...or a scene from Romeo and Juliet?
Don't be shy.
You make about the prettiest Juliet
I've ever seen. Really.
All I do is dream of you
The whole night through
With the dawn I still go on
Dreaming of you
You're every thought
You're everything
You're every song I ever sing
Summer, winter, autumn and spring
And were there more than
Twenty-four hours a day
They'd be spent in sweet content
Dreaming away
When skies are gray
When skies are blue
Morning, noon and nighttime too
All I do the whole day through
Is dream of you
It's the cat's meow!
All I do the whole day through
Is dream of you
- had to tell you how good you were.
- Excuse me.
Now that I know where you live,
I'd like to see you home.
- Listen, Mr. Lockwood...
- Say, who is this dame anyway?
Someone lofty and far above us all.
She couldn't learn anything from
the movies. She's a stage actress.
Here's one thing I've learned
from the movies!
- 'll kill her!
- Lina, she was aiming at me!
- You never looked lovelier.
- t was an accident.
It happens to me
five or six times a day.
Where is she?
Donnie?
Excuse me.
Where'd Miss Selden go?
She grabbed her things and bolted.
Anything I can do?
Sorry. I don't have time to find out.
Kathy!
Hey, Kathy!
Hey!
Keep that action going.
More steam in the kettle!
More action, boys.
A little more rhythm.
More steam and more water.
- Hi, Maxie.
Hi, Don.
- Good morning, fellas.
- Hiya, Don.
Did you read Variety today?
"First talking picture, The Jazz Singer.
All-time smash end of first week."
- All-time flop end of the second.
- We start today.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
I'm now Count Pierre de Bataille,
known as the Duelling Cavalier.
- What's it about?
- t's a French Revolution story.
You're a French aristocrat.
She's a simple girl of the people
and won't even give you a tumble.
Well, it's a living.
Good morning.
Keep the background moving.
Hit him.
Come on. Knock him down!
Get up there and hit him again.
Hurry up!
Why bother to shoot this?
Release the old one under a new title.
You've seen one, you've seen them all.
- Why'd you say that?
- What's the matter?
That's what that Kathy Selden
said to me that night.
That's three weeks ago.
You still thinking about that?
- can't get her out of my mind.
- How could you?
She's the first dame who hasn't
fallen for you since you were 4.
She's on my conscience.
It's not your fault she lost her job.
- 've got to find her.
- You've been trying to.
Short of sending out
bloodhounds and a posse.
Come on, now.
Snap out of it.
You can't let this get you down.
You're Donald Lockwood.
Donald Lockwood's an actor, isn't he?
What's the first thing
an actor learns?
"The show must go on, come rain,
come shine, come snow, come sleet!"
Yeah.
The world's so full
Of a number of things
I'm sure we should all
Be as happy as...
But are we? No
Definitely, no
Positively, no
Decidedly, no
Short people have long faces
Long people have short faces
Big people have little humor
Little people have no humor at all
In the words of that immortal bard
Samuel J. Snodgrass
As he was being led
To the guillotine
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh
Ha, ha
My dad said, "Be an actor, my son
But be a comical one"
They'll be standin' in lines
For those old honky-tonk monkeyshines
Now you could study Shakespeare
And be quite elite
And you could charm the critics
And have nothing to eat
Just slip on a banana peel
The world's at your feet
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make?...
Make'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
My Grandpa said,
"Go out and tell'em a joke
but give it plenty of hoke"
Make'em roar
Make'em scream
Take a fall, butt a wall
Split a seam
You start off by pretending
You're a dancer with grace
You wiggle till they're giggling
All over the place
And then you get
A great big custard pie in the face
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Don't ya...
All the...
What?...
My Dad...
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky-tonk monkeyshines
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Don't you know everyone...
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Make'em laugh
Ready, Don?
- All set.
- Here we go again.
- We have another smash on our hands.
- hope so.
You're darn tooting we have.
- Where's Lina?
- Here she is, Mr. Dexter.
Well! Here comes our
lovely leading lady now.
This wig weighs a ton.
What dope'd wear a thing like this?
Everybody wore them.
Then everybody was a dope.
- You look beautiful.
- You look great.
Let's get into the set.
Thanks, Joe.
I looked for you at Wally Ray's party.
Where were you?
I've been busy.
And I know what you've been busy at.
Looking for that girl.
- As a matter of fact, yes.
Why?
I've been worried about her.
You should've been worried about me.
I'm the one who got
the whipped cream in the kisser.
Yes, but you didn't
lose your job, and she did.
Darn tooting she did.
I arranged it.
What?
They weren't gonna fire her,
so I told them they better.
- Why...
- Don, now remember.
You're madly in love with her
and you have to overcome her shyness.
Cosmo, mood music.
Roll'em!
Okay, Don.
Now enter.
You see her.
Run to her!
Why, you rattlesnake, you.
You got that poor kid fired.
That's not all I'm gonna do
if I ever get my hands on her.
I never heard of anything so low.
Fine. Fine. Looks great.
What did you do it for?
Because you liked her. I could tell.
So that's it.
Believe me, I don't like her
half as much as I hate you.
You reptile.
Sticks and stones may break my bones.
I'd like to break every bone
in your body.
You and who else, you big lummox?
Now kiss her, Don.
That's it. More.
Great! Cut!
You couldn't kiss me like that and
not mean it just a teensy-weensy bit.
Meet the world's greatest actor.
I'd rather kiss a tarantula!
- You don't mean that!
- don't?...
Joe, bring me a tarantula.
Now listen...
Stop that chitchat, you lovebirds.
Let's get another take.
Hold it.
- Hold it, Dexter!
Hello, Mr. Simpson.
We're really rolling.
Well, you can stop rolling at once.
All right, everybody! Save it!
Save it? Tell them to go home.
We're shutting down.
Don't stand there.
Tell them!
Go home until further notice!
What is this?
What's the matter?
The Jazz Singer,
that's what's the matter.
Oh, my darling little mammy
Down in Alabamy
This is no joke. It's a sensation.
The public's screaming for more.
- More what?
- Talking pictures.
- t's just a freak.
- We should have such a freak.
I said talking pictures were a menace,
but no one would listen.
We're going to make
The Duelling Cavalier into a talking picture.
That means I'm out of a job.
I can start suffering
and write that symphony.
We'll put you in as head
of the music department.
Thanks. I can stop suffering
and write that symphony.
Wait a second. Talking pictures!
You should wait...
Every studio's jumping
on the bandwagon.
All the theaters are putting in
sound equipment.
We know nothing about it.
What do you have to know?
You do what you always did.
You just add talking to it.
Believe me, it'll be a sensation.
"Lamont and Lockwood. They talk!"
Well, of course we talk.
Don't everybody?
I got a feeling
You're fooling
I got a feeling
You're havin' fun
I get the go-by
When you are done foolin' with me
It's a holiday
Today's The Wedding of the Painted Doll
It's a jolly day
The news is spreading
Should I reveal exactly how I feel
Should I confess
I got a feeling you're fooling
I got a feeling you're
It's a holiday
Today's The Wedding
Should I reveal
Exactly how I feel
Should I reveal
Beautiful girl
You're a lovely picture
Beautiful girl
You're a gorgeous mixture
Of all that lies
Under the big blue sky
My heart cries
Who's that? She looks familiar.
You're a dazzling eyeful
I featured her before,
in lots of nightclub shows.
I've seen her there.
She'd be good as Zelda's sister.
- That's a good idea.
- Excuse me.
There may be blondes and brunettes
That are hard to resist
You surpass them like a queen
You've got those lips
That were meant to be kissed
And you're over sweet 16
Beautiful girl
What a gorgeous creature
Beautiful girl
Let me call a preacher
What can I do
But give my heart to you?
A beautiful girl
Is like a great work of art
She's stylish
She's chic
And she also is smart
For lounging in her boudoir
This simple plain pajama
Her cloak is trimmed with monkey fur
To lend a dash of drama
Anyone for tennis?
Well, this will make them cringe
And you'll knock'em dead at dinner
If your gown just drips with fringe
You simply can't be too modest
At the beach or by the pool
And in summertime, it's organdy
That'll keep you fresh and cool
You'd never guess what loud applause
This cunning hat receives
And you'd never dream the things
That you could hide
Within these sleeves
A string of pearls with a suit of tweed
It's started quite a riot
And if you must wear fox to the opera
Dame Fashion says, "Dye it"
Black is best when you're in court
The judge will be impressed
But white is right when you're a bride
And you want to be well-dressed
Beautiful girl
For you I've got a passion
Beautiful girl
You're my queen of fashion
I'm in a whirl
Over
My beautiful girl
- That's stupendous!
- Thanks.
Kathy, come here.
This will start a trend
in musical pictures.
Mr. Simpson's thinking about
casting you as Zelda's sister.
That's wonderful!
Hey, Kathy!
That's Kathy Selden.
Thanks anyway.
It was nice of you.
Wait a minute.
- That's all right.
Before Mr. Lockwood refreshes
your memory, you may as well know...
...I'm the girl who hit Miss Lamont with
a cake. It was meant for Mr. Lockwood.
Goodbye. I'm sorry.
I should've told you.
Wait a minute.
What's this all about?
We were gonna use her, but if
it'd make you and Lina unhappy...
Unhappy? t's wonderful.
He's been looking for her!
Are you speaking for Lina also?
The owner of the Coconut Grove
may do what Lina tells him...
...but you're the head of this studio.
- Yes, I am.
She's hired.
Don't let Lina know she's on the lot.
Take care of that.
Thank you, Mr. Simpson!
I'm glad you turned up.
We've been looking inside every cake in town.
Is it all right for you
to be seen with me?
You mean, lofty star with humble player?
Not exactly. But for lunch, don't you
tear a pheasant with Miss Lamont?
Look, Kathy. All that stuff
about Lina and me is sheer publicity.
Oh? Certainly seems more than that...
...from what I've read in all
those articles in the fan magazines.
Ohh, you read the fan magazines?
I pick them up in the beauty
parlor or the dentist's office...
...just like anybody.
Honest?
I buy four or five a month.
You buy four or five?
To get back to the main point...
...you achieve a kind of intimacy
in all your pictures...
Did you say all my pictures?
Now that I think of it,
I've seen eight or nine of them.
Eight or nine.
It seems to me
I remember someone saying:
"If you've seen one,
you've seen them all."
I did say some awful things
that night, didn't I?
No, I deserved them.
Of course, I must admit
I was pretty much upset by them.
So upset that I haven't been able
to think of anything but you ever since.
Honest?
Honest.
Well, I've been pretty upset too.
Kathy...
Kathy, look, I...
Kathy, seeing you again now that I...
I'm trying to say
something to you, but I...
I'm such a ham.
I guess I'm not able to
without the proper setting.
What do you mean?
Well...
Come here.
This is the proper setting.
Why, it's just an empty stage.
At first glance, yes.
But wait a second.
A beautiful sunset.
Mist from the distant mountains.
Colored lights in a garden.
Milady is standing on her balcony,
in a rose-trellised bower...
...flooded with moonlight.
We add 500,000 kilowatts of stardust.
A soft summer breeze.
And...
You sure look lovely in the moonlight.
Now that you have the proper setting,
can you say it?
I'll try.
Life was a song
You came along
I've laid awake
the whole night through
If I but dared
To think you cared
This is what
I'd say to you
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Nature patterned you
And when she was done
You were all the sweet things
Rolled up in one
You're like
A plaintive melody
That never lets me free
But I'm content
The angels must have sent you
And they meant you
Just for me
But I'm content
The angels must have sent you
And they meant you
Just for me
Now...
Ta, te, ti, toe, too.
No, no, Miss Lamont...
...round tones, round tones.
Now let me hear you read your line.
"And I can't stan"im."
And I can't stand him.
"And I can't stan"im."
"Can't."
Can't.
"Can't."
Can't!
Can't. Can't.
Very good.
"Around the rocks
the rugged rascal ran."
"Around the rocks the rugged..."
No, no. "Rocks." "Rocks."
"Around the rocks
the rugged rascal ran."
Very good.
Hi, Don.
- Shall I continue?
- Don't mind me.
Now.
"Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter...
...seized his knees and sneezed."
"Sinful Caesar snipped his sifter..."
Sipped his snifter.
"Sipped his snifter."
Oh, thank you.
"Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter,
seized his knees and sneezed."
- Marvelous.
- Wonderful.
Here is a good one.
"Chester chooses chestnuts,
cheddar cheese with chewy chives.
He chews them and he chooses them.
He chooses them and he chews them...
...those chestnuts,
cheddar cheese and chives...
...in cheery, charming chunks."
- Wonderful! Do another one.
- Thank you.
"Moses supposes his toeses are roses...
...but Moses supposes erroneously.
Moses, he knowses
his toeses aren't roses...
...as Moses supposes his toeses to be."
"Moses supposes his toeses are roses...
...but Moses supposes erroneously."
"But Moses, he knowses
his toes aren't roses...
...as Moses supposes his toeses to be."
Moses supposes his toeses are roses...
...but Moses supposes erroneously.
A mose is a mose.
A rose is a rose.
A toes is a toes.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
Moses, he knowses
His toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
For Moses knowses
His toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
A rose is a rose
Is a rose is a rose is
A rose is what Moses
Supposes his toes is
Couldn't be a lily
Or a taffy daffy dilly
It's gotta be a rose
'Cause it rhymes with "mose"
Moses
"A"
All right, here we go.
- Quiet!
Quiet.
Roll'em!
Oh, Pierre. You shouldn't have come.
She's gotta talk into the mike.
I can't pick it up.
Cut!
What's the matter?
It's Lina.
Look, Lina, don't you remember?
I told you.
There's a microphone right there...
...in the bush.
- Yeah.
You have to talk into it.
I was talking.
Wasn't I, Miss Dinsmore?
Yes, my dear. But please remember,
round tones.
"Pierre, you shouldn't have come."
Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
That's much better...
Hold it a second.
Now, Lina, look.
Here's the mike.
Right here in the bush.
Yeah.
Now, you talk towards it.
The sound goes through the cable
to the box.
A man records it
on a big record in wax...
...but you have to talk
into the mike first.
In the bush!
Now try it again.
Gee, this is dumb.
She'll get it, Dexter.
Don't worry.
We're all nervous the first day.
Everything will be okay.
By the way. You know the scene
coming up where I say:
"Imperious princess of the night"?
I don't like those lines.
Is it all right if I say what I always do?
"I love you. I love you. I love you."
Sure. Any way it's comfortable.
But into the bush!
Okay.
Again!
Quiet!
Roll'em!
Cut!
We're missing every other word.
You've got to talk into the mike!
Well, I can't make love to a bush!
All right, all right.
We'll have to think of something else.
What are you doing?
- You're being wired for sound.
- What?
Watch out for those dentalized D's
and T's and those flat A's.
Everybody's picking on me.
Okay, Lina.
Now look at this flower, see?
The mike is in there.
That's it.
The sound will run from it...
...through this wire, onto the record.
It'll catch whatever you say.
Now let's hear how it sounds, Lina.
Okay, quiet!
Roll'em!
Oh, Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
You're flirting with danger.
What's that noise?
It's picking up her heartbeat.
Swell.
Cut!
That's right. That should do it.
Now, don't forget.
The mike is on your shoulder.
And whatever you say goes
through the wire onto the record.
Now, please, Lina, talk into the mike.
Don't make any quick movements
or you might disconnect it.
Okay, let's go.
- Quiet.
Quiet.
Roll'em.
Oh, Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
You're flirting with danger.
What's this wire doing here?
It's dangerous.
You'd better not go in together.
Lina's probably waiting
right inside the door.
- Oh, how I wish...
- Don't worry.
I'll lead the cheering section
in the balcony. Good luck.
- Mr. Lockwood.
Hello.
What's that?
The storm outside?
It's those pearls, Mr. Simpson.
I am the noblest lady of the court,
second only to the queen.
Yet I am the saddest
of mortals in France.
What is the matter, milady?
I'm so downhearted, Theresa.
My father has me betrothed
to the Baron de Landsfield...
...and I can't stand him.
Oh, but he's such a catch.
All the ladies of the court
wish they were in your shoes.
My heart belongs to another...
...Pierre de Bataille.
Ever since I met him,
I can't get him out of my mind.
Sounds good and loud, huh?
Oh, Pierre!
You shouldn't have come.
You're flirting with danger.
They will surely find you out.
Your head is much too valuable.
She never could remember
where the microphone was.
'Tis Cupid himself
that called me here...
...and I...
...smitten by his arrow,
must fly to your side...
...despite the threats
of Madame Guillotine.
But the night is full of our enemies.
What you hitting him with,
a blackjack?
Imperious princess of the night...
...I love you.
Oh, Pierre.
I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you!
Did somebody get paid
for writing that?
Sounds like a comedy.
- t's a Lockwood-Lamont talkie.
- What?
This is terrible.
What's that?
The sound.
It's out of synchronization!
Tell them to fix it.
Yes, sir.
What's this? Yvonne?
Captured by Rouge Noir
of the Purple Terror?
Ohh. Oh, my sword!
I must fly to her side!
Yvonne, Yvonne...
...my own.
Pierre will save me. Pierre!
Pierre is miles away, you witch.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes.
This is a scream.
Give me The Jazz Singer.
"I love you, I love you, I love you"...
- We're all ruined.
- You can't release this.
We're booked to open
in six weeks all over the country.
But you're such big stars,
we might get by.
I never wanna see
Lockwood and Lamont again.
Wasn't it awful?
This is the worst picture ever made.
I liked it.
Well, take a last look at it.
It'll be up for auction
in the morning.
You're out of your mind.
It's Saturday.
No bank will foreclose until Monday.
- t wasn't so bad.
- That's what I told him.
There's no use kidding myself.
Once they release The Duelling Cavalier,
Lockwood and Lamont are through.
The picture's a museum piece.
I'm a museum piece.
Things went wrong with the sound.
Get the technical...
No, it wasn't that.
This is sweet of both of you, but I...
Something happened to me tonight.
Everything you said
about me is true.
I'm no actor.
I never was.
Just a lot of dumb show.
I know that now.
Well, at least you're
taking it lying down.
No kidding, Cosmo.
Did you ever see anything
as idiotic as me on that screen?
Yeah. How about Lina?
Heh. I ran her a close second.
Maybe it was a photo finish.
I'm through.
You're not through.
Why, of course not.
With your looks,
you could drive an ice wagon.
- Or shine shoes.
- Block hats.
- Sell pencils.
- Dig ditches.
Or go back into vaudeville.
Fit as a fiddle and ready for love
I could jump over the moon up above
Fit as a fiddle and ready for love
Too bad I didn't do that in Duelling Cavalier.
They might have liked it.
- Why don't you?
- What?
- Make a musical.
- A musical?
Sure. Make a musical.
The new Don Lockwood.
He yodels, he jumps about to music.
The only trouble is
that after Duelling Cavalier...
...nobody'd come to see me jump off
the Woolworth Building into a damp rag.
Turn The Duelling Cavalier
into a musical.
- Duelling Cavalier?
- Sure.
They've got six weeks before
it's released.
Add songs and dances,
trim bad scenes, add new ones.
And you got it.
Hey, I think it'll work.
- Of course!
- t's a cinch.
It may be crazy, but we'll do it.
The Duelling Cavalier
is now a musical.
- Hot dog!
- Hallelujah!
Whoopee! Fellas, I feel this is
my lucky day, March 23rd.
- Your lucky day's the 24th.
- What?
It's 1:30 already.
It's morning!
Yes. And what a lovely morning!
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
We've talked the whole night through
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
It's great to stay up late
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
When the band began to play
The stars were shining bright
Now the milkman's on his way
It's too late to say good night
So good mornin'
Good mornin'
Sunbeams will soon smile through
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
And you and you and you
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
We've gabbed the whole night through
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Nothing could be grander
Than to be in Louisiana
In the mornin'
In the mornin'
It's great to stay up late
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Might be just as zippy
If we was in Mississippi
When we left the movie show
The future wasn't bright
But came the dawn, the show goes on
And I don't wanna say good night
So say good mornin'
Good mornin'
Rainbows are shinin' through
- Good mornin'
- Good mornin'
- Bonjour!
- Monsieur!
- Buenos das!
- Muchas fras!
- Buon giorno!
- A ritorno!
- Guten morgen!
- Guten morgen!
Good mornin' to you
Ol!
- Toro!
- Toro!
Hey, we can't make this a musical.
What do you mean?
Lina.
- Lina.
- Lina.
She can't act, she can't sing
and she can't dance.
- A triple threat.
- Yeah.
What's so funny?
I'm sorry, I was just thinking.
I liked her best when
the sound went off and she said:
"Yes, yes, yes."
"No, no, no."
"Yes, yes, yes."
"No, no..."
Wait a minute.
I am just about to be brilliant.
Come here, Kathy.
Come here. Now, sing.
Huh?
- said sing.
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
Don, keep your eyes
riveted on my face.
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Watch my mouth.
Good mornin'
Good mornin'
It's great to stay up late
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
Well, convincing?
Enchanting. What?
Don't you get it?
Use Kathy's voice.
Lina moves her mouth
and Kathy sings and talks for her.
That's wonderful!
- couldn't let you do it, Kathy.
- Why not?
You wouldn't be seen.
You'd throw away your career.
It has nothing to do with my career.
It's only for this picture.
The important thing is to save
The Duelling Cavalier...
...save Lockwood and Lamont.
- Yeah.
Well, all right, if it's only
for this one picture, but...
- You think it'll get by?
- Of course.
It's simple to work the numbers.
Just dance around Lina
and teach her how to take a bow.
We'll spring it on R.F.
In the morning.
Don, you're a genius.
I'm glad you thought of it.
Oh, Cosmo.
Good night, Kathy. See you tomorrow.
Good night, Don.
Take care of that throat.
You're a big singing star now, remember?
This California dew
is just a little heavier than usual.
Really?
From where I stand,
the sun is shining all over the place.
I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin'
Singin' in the rain
Dancin' in the rain
I'm happy again
I'm singin'
And dancin' in the rain
I'm dancin'
And singin'
In the rain
Why, that's wonderful!
We'll keep it secret
until we're ready to release...
...just in case it doesn't come off.
I'm worried about Lina.
She doesn't like Miss Selden.
There might be fireworks.
Lina won't even know she's on the lot.
Boys, this is great.
The Duelling Cavalier can be saved.
Now, let's see.
The Duelling Cavalierwith music.
The title.
The title's not right.
We need a musical title. Cosmo?
Hey! The Duelling Mammy.
No.
I've got it.
No.
The Dancing Cavalier!
That's it.
The Dancing Cavalier.
- Remind me to make you a scriptwriter.
- Thanks. Have a cigar.
Thanks.
Now, what about the story?
We need modern musical numbers.
We throw a modern section into it.
The hero's a hoofer on Broadway.
He sings and he dances.
One night, backstage, he's reading
The Tale of Two Cities.
A sandbag hits his head.
He dreams he's back
during the French Revolution.
This way, we get in
the modern dancing numbers.
But in the dream,
we can still use the costumes.
Sensational! Cosmo,
remind me to give you a raise.
- Oh, R.F.
- Yes?
Give me a raise.
He holds her in his arms
Would you?
He tells her of her charms
Would you?
They met as you and I
And they were only friends
But before...
...the story ends
He'll kiss her with a sigh
Would you?
And if the girl were I
Would you?
And would you dare to say
Let's do the same
As they
I would
Would you?
And would you dare to say
Let's do the same
As they
I would
Would you?
Perfect! That Selden girl is great.
I'm gonna give her a big buildup.
- Swell!
- How much is there left to do?
- One scene and a number.
- What number?
It's a new one.
It's for the modern part.
It's called "Broadway Melody."
It's the story of a young hoofer
who comes to New York.
First, we set the stage with a song.
It goes like this.
Don't bring a frown to old Broadway
You gotta clown on Broadway
Your troubles there
They're out of style
For Broadway always wears a smile
A million lights
They flicker there
A million hearts beat quicker there
No skies of gray
On that Great White Way
That's the Broadway
Melody
Gotta dance
Shh.
Gotta dance
Gotta dance, gotta dance
Broadway rhythm
It's got me
Everybody dance
Broadway rhythm
It's got me
Everybody dance
Out on that Gay White Way
And each merry caf
Orchestras play
Taking your breath away
Broadway rhythm
It's got me
Everybody sing and dance
Oh, that Broadway rhythm
When I hear that happy beat
Feel like dancin' down the street
To that Broadway rhythm
Writhing, beating
Rhythm
Gotta dance
When I hear that happy beat
Feel like dancin' down the street
When I hear that happy beat
Feel like dancin' down the street
Gotta dance
Gotta dance
Gotta dance
Gotta dance
That's the Broadway
Melody
That's the idea.
What do you think of it?
I can't visualize it.
I'll have to see it on film first.
- On film, it'll be better yet.
- Don't forget.
Have Selden re-record
all of Lina's dialogue.
- t's all set up.
- And remember...
...don't let Lina know about it.
All set in there?
Right.
Nothing can keep us apart.
Our love will last
till the stars turn cold.
All right, Kathy. Go ahead.
Nothing can keep us apart.
Our love will last
till the stars turn cold.
That's great! Perfect. Cut.
Till the stars turn cold.
Oh, Kathy, I love you.
I can't wait till
this picture's finished.
No more secrecy.
I'm gonna let Lina and everyone know.
Your fans will be
bitterly disappointed.
From now on, there's only
one fan I'm worried about.
There!
- What did I tell you?
- Thanks, Zelda. You're a real pal.
I want that girl off the lot at once!
She ain't gonna be my voice.
Zelda told me everything.
- Thanks, Zelda. You're a real pal.
- Anytime, Don.
Look, Don and I...
Don! Don't you dare call him Don!
I was calling him Don
before you were born.
I mean...
You were kissing him!
I was kissing her.
I happen to be in love with her.
That's ridiculous! Everybody knows
you're in love with me.
Ha, ha. Now look, Lina.
Try and understand this.
I'm going to marry her.
Silly boy.
She ain't the marrying kind.
She's a flirt
trying to get ahead by using you.
Well, I'll put a stop to that!
I'm gonna go up and see R.F. Right now!
A little late.
The picture's finished.
If she weren't in it,
you'd be finished too.
As far as I can see,
she's the only one who's finished.
Who'll hear of her?
Everybody. Why do you think
Zelda's in such a sweat?
Kathy nearly stole
the picture from her.
She's only doing you a favor
in The Dancing Cavalier.
And she's getting
full screen credit for it too.
It'll say on the screen
that I don't talk and sing for myself?
Of course. What do you think?
- They can't do that.
- t's already done.
There's a whole
publicity campaign planned.
Publicity?
They can't make a fool out of me.
They can't make a laughingstock
out of Lina Lamont.
What do they think I am,
dumb or something?
Why, I make more money...
...than Calvin Coolidge...
...put together!
"Monumental Pictures enthusiastic
over Lina's singing and dancing."
I never said that.
"Premiere tomorrow night to reveal
Lina Lamont, big musical talent."
You can't pull a switch like this
on the publicity department.
We were prepared
for the Selden campaign.
Now you do this.
At least keep us informed.
Wait a minute.
I don't know anything about this.
What are we gonna do?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
You wouldn't wanna call the papers
and say Lina Lamont...
...is a big fat liar.
Did you send this stuff out?
I gave an exclusive story
to every paper in town.
You'll never get away with it.
Call the papers.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Don't tell me what to do, Lina.
What do you think I am,
dumb or something?
I had my lawyer go over my contract.
Contract?
And I control my publicity, not you.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
The studio is responsible
for every word printed about me.
If I don't like it, I can sue.
What?
I can sue.
If you tell the papers
about Kathy Selden...
...it would be "detrimental
and deleterious" to my career.
I could sue you for the whole studio.
- That's a lot of nonsense.
- Says so.
Right here.
Contract dated June 8, 1925,
paragraph 34, subdivision letter A.
"The party of the first part..."
- That's me.
- You win, Lina.
We better take Kathy's
credit card off the screen.
All right, go ahead.
Let's just get
this premiere over with.
Satisfied?
There's just one little thing more.
You want me to change the name of
the studio to Lamont Pictures, Inc?
R.F., you're cute.
Now, I was just thinking.
You've given her
a part in Zelda's picture...
...and you'll give her
a bigger one in the next.
So, what?
If she's done such a grand job
doubling for my voice...
...don't you think she ought to
go on doing just that?
- And nothing else.
- You're out of your mind.
I'm still more important
to the studio than she is.
I wouldn't do that to her
in a million years.
You'd take her career away.
People don't do things like that.
People?
I ain't people.
I am a...
"A shimmering, glowing star
in the cinema firmament."
It says so...
...right there.
Oh, Pierre, Pierre, my darling.
At last, I've found you.
Oh, Pierre.
Pierre, you're hurt.
Speak to me, speak to me.
I'll kiss her with a sigh
Would you?
And if the girl were I
Would you?
Oh, Pierre, hold me
in your arms always.
Lockwood's a sensation.
Yes, but Lamont! What a voice!
Isn't she marvelous?
- t's going over wonderfully, isn't it?
- Yeah.
Our love will last
till the stars turn cold.
And would you dare to say
Let's do the same as they
I would
Would you?
R.F., it's a real smash.
- Congratulations. We owe you a lot.
- Thank you.
- Kathy, we made it!
- t's a miracle!
It's great, Don. Just great.
You were fabulous.
You sang as well as Kathy Selden.
And I'm gonna for a long time.
What do you mean?
I mean she's gonna go
right on singing for me.
Listen, Lina.
I thought something was cooking
beneath those bleached curls.
Kathy has her own career.
She only did this for this picture.
That's what you think.
Come on, come on.
- Lina's getting carried away.
- Yeah, she is.
Listen, you boa constrictor.
Don't get any fancy ideas
about the future. Tell her!
Never mind, R. F!
Listen to that applause.
Wait till the money rolls in.
You won't give all that up because
a nobody don't wanna be my voice.
She's got something.
It's a gold mine.
Part of that choice is mine.
And I just won't do it.
You've got a five-year contract.
You'll do what R.F. Says.
What's the matter?
Why don't you tell her off?
I'm confused.
This thing is so big...
- They're tearing the house apart.
- Take a curtain call.
I once gave you a cigar.
Can I have it back?
Listen! 'm an avalanche!
Selden, you're stuck.
If this happens, get a new boy.
I won't stand for it.
Who needs you? They'd come to see me
if I played opposite a monkey!
Don's a smash too.
I'll say a few words.
I'm still running the studio.
I'm not so sure!
You're Mr. Producer,
always running things, running me.
From now on, as far as I'm concerned,
I'm running things.
- Lina Lamont Pictures, Inc., huh?
- Yeah.
You've gone a little too far.
- They're yelling for a speech.
- A speech?
Yeah, everybody's always making
speeches for me.
Tonight, I'm gonna do my own talking.
I'm gonna make the speech!
No, please!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
This is Lina's big night
and she's entitled to do the talking.
- Right?
- Right.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can't tell you...
...how thrilled we are
at your reception...
...for The Dancing Cavalier,
our first musical picture together.
If we bring a little joy
into your humdrum lives...
...it makes us feel
as though our hard work...
...ain't been in vain for nothing.
Bless you all.
She didn't sound that way
in the picture.
Cut the talk, Lina. Sing!
Sing us a song, Lina.
Sing to us.
Please.
Come on, Lina, sing.
I got an idea. Come here.
Now, listen.
What am I gonna do?
We've got it.
Get a mike set up back of that curtain.
Kathy, come here.
Kathy will stand back of there and sing.
She'll be back of the curtain singing,
and I'll be in front...
- Like in the picture?
- Right.
You've gotta do it. This is too big.
She's got a five-year contract with me.
Get over to that mike.
You heard him, Kathy. Now do it!
I'll do it, Don.
But I never want to see you again...
...on or off the screen.
Now, come on, Lina.
What are you gonna sing?
"Singin' in the Rain."
In what key?
A- flat.
A- flat.
In A-flat.
I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
And singin'
Just singin' in the rain
I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Stop that girl!
That girl running up the aisle!
Stop her!
That's the girl whose voice
you heard and loved.
She's the real star of the picture,
Kathy Selden!
Kathy.
You are
My lucky star
I saw you
From afar
Two lovely eyes
At me they were gleaming
Beaming
I was starstruck
You're all
My lucky charms
I'm lucky
In your arms
You've opened heaven's portal
Here on earth for this poor mortal
You
Are my
Lucky star