Sitting Ducks (1980) Movie Script

I don't think I'm gonna do this,
I've changed my mind. You can't
change your mind. Don't you understand that?
Didn't you already tell
those guys up there tomorrow there's
no collections? You're in now, that's it,
so get used to it, relax. -Take it easy.
-I could find an
explanation for that. -You could?
-I can't go through with this. You think about
that for a second. You're going to have
everything you've wanted
your whole life. No more of this
bullshit 9:00 to 5:00. You've got it made now. Just relax and do
what I tell you. We're gonna be there,
we're gonna be there beautiful. We're gonna sit there
on that island. -We're gonna lie in the sun.
-All right, never mind. -We'll have everything.
-Let's get to business. -Have you got the list?
-I got the list. -Okay, gimme the list.
-I don't know. -What do you mean you
don't know? Come on, now.
-I'm scared. -They're going to see
a strange person doing it.
-Jesus, you gotta be nuts. I don't know if the
code word is enough. -You're not scared?
-The code word's enough.
I don't give a shit. I walk in, I say,
"Boom, boom, boom," I take the money,
and that's it. -Okay, don't make
this conspicuous.
-Who's conspicuous? I'm walkin' easy.
Okay, I got it. You got every single
mark down there? -Thirty-six of them?
One, two to 36, right?
-Yeah. -Okay? Location's down,
everything's perfect?
-Right. -You've got
every address for me?
-Right. Right. -Okay. Could you--
-Now remember one thing: After the code word,
they may double check you -and ask you
something else.
-Mm-hmm. When they ask you
something else beyond
what they are supposed to, the answer's
"pumpernickel" to that. -Pumpernickel?
-That's right. -Who the fuc--
-I went through this with you! I'm getting scared.
You don't remember now? -I remember everything.
I don't forget.
-You can't make a slip-up. Look at me!
Look at me! Pumpernickel,
how's that? Nice? But only-- only if they
ask you questions after you've satisfied
all the requirements
about the code. -Don't volunteer
it otherwise.
-I gotcha. Just take it easy. The only thing you've
gotta do is just relax. I've arranged
for the plane-- Is it coming for sure
at noon on Friday? -Of course it's coming for sure!
-Nothing could be
wrong with that? -Nothing could be wrong.
-And the car's waiting
on the other end? The limo is sitting there,
everything is set.
We've got everything done. You think anybody
knows about the garage
where we're hidden? Nobody knows anything.
Everything I've ever done
my whole life worked smooth. What's the matter with you?
Just relax. This is the chance
of a lifetime. (jazz music plays) (knocking) (buzzer) Man:
Hi, Simon. How's it going? On the dot as
usual, Carmine. Listen, Carmine, I've
got some news for you I don't think
you'll mind. There're no
collections tomorrow. They've been called off
for tomorrow. Just for the day, on Thursday
collections as usual. No collections? There's a big game,
the Yankees-Red Sox. Sure, that's why we'll
have a big collection on Thursday
to make up for it. The DA's men apparently
have been alerted, they're going to be
in the field there,
and so just a day after the big game they're
going to be surprised -nothing will be
happening at all.
-Hmm. And I'm not supposed
to tell you this but there's
a bonus for you guys. So you can enjoy
yourself tomorrow,
take the day off. That's okay with me.
I'll bet you don't
take the day off. Simon of the books,
always working. Well, I like to sit here
and do my bookkeeping, you know? I like my figures. You like to work with
figures, I like money. (chuckles) The actual money,
to me is an abstraction. I like to work with it,
I like everything
to add up right. -I like to work with it
and spend it.
-Okay, now... sign it, take a copy
for yourself as usual -and give me a copy.
-Okay. Make sure the
carbon is covering it. Okay. I'll keep this,
you keep that one. -Okay.
-No, this one is mine.
I keep that. I'm gonna go away. Again? Yes, well, this time
I'm going to a place
further away, but I'll be back
as soon as I can. I promise. I got a lot
of money for you. By the way, I want to tell you
that there are not gonna
be any collections tomorrow. You can take
the day off tomorrow and then resume
Thursday as usual. Why? Some kind of a tip-off that the DA's men are going
to be out expecting something. Thursday we'll
resume as usual. So, as far as you're concerned, the commission you get,
it will be just the same
because Thursday the collections will be
bigger to make up for it. -And in addition to that--
-Why didn't you tell me
about this earlier? You're going to collect
the same amount on Thursday
as you would have if you'd gone both Wednesday and Thursday,
you're getting the same
amount of money, you're getting the
same commission,
you're getting a day off and in addition to that
you're getting a bonus also. Bad day today. Well, we'll see how
much we've got here. It varies
from day to day. The collections are
called off for tomorrow. I'm gonna-- I'm gonna
come back, and I'm gonna give us things that
we never had before. I'm gonna give us
everything in the world. I'm gonna make magic for us. -Because you know
who I am, don't you?
-Yeah. -I'm the magic man.
-(laughs) (whispers) (buzzing) (typewriter clacking) (phone ringing) Sid:
It's easy. You tell
all the collectors to take Wednesday off, and I'll pick up
the money in their place. You just relax. Relax. You sit in the office,
you take it easy. I've got the code words. They'll think I'm substituting
for the collectors. You stay
in the office
until 2:10, then you slip out
and meet me in the garage. It's easy. Hi, I gotta get the key
to the men's room again. Ah, you're really going there
a lot these days, aren't you? -Well, this stuff I ate for
lunch today, I don't know.
-Yeah. I'll try to be back
as soon as I can, -but I don't know so just
hold the phone calls for me.
-Okay. (folk music plays) Just look at it! $750,000! And you know
what else you got? -You got this.
-What? What's-- -What's this?
-You! You are
Sidney Becker's chauffeur! Goddamn, you look
like my chauffeur. You know what the
name "Costa Rica" means? Do you have any idea
what "Costa Rica" means? It means "rich coast,"
and that's what we're gonna be: Rich
people on a rich coast. Give me another one. -Can you give me another one?
-I'll give it to you
in a moment. -Give it to me now!
I wanna go.
-Here, wrap this. You're a rich man,
you act like you're
still bored, you know that? Come on, will you?
We're almost finished. Okay. All right, okay. I just have to make
one computation here. Okay, that's it. Okay, here we are,
the last packages. 96 packages with
$7,500 each. That's after the
four little packages I gave you
of $1,080 each. We have $724,360
not $750,000. What's the difference?
When you're rich you're rich. (folk music plays) Sid:
Mobile number 77520. Yes, I want to call
212-734-1892. Hi, baby. Sid.
Two games, I want. I want Pittsburgh,
and I want Minnesota. I'll take the points
on the first, and I'll give
on the second, okay? I'll talk to you soon because
I'm kind of on the road. I'm in my car, all right? I love you too, bye-bye. I'm very hot. Let's stop
at the next motel. What do you
mean you're hot?
What are you hot about? Man, I'm hot.
My whole body's hot,
it's crying out. So, your air conditioning
isn't working in this
stupid car of yours. Open up the windows,
I asked you. I'm so rich
and happy The idea of how rich
I am makes me so hot. I need a woman.
I need two women! Oh, women you
need, huh? When we get where we're going,
you can have your women. Who gives a shit?
We don't have to be there
anyway 'til Monday morning. -Monday morning?
-Monday morning. -Since when is it Monday?
-The plane's not coming
til Monday morning. What are you, crazy?
How come you changed
the arrangement? Because the guy had
a little problem,
I said okay. What do you want me to do?
Tell him no, not do a thing? You swore to me that
it would be on Friday! We would drive straight
through, get out of here! Why did you change?
Why did you let me
go through with this? You're a rich man,
why don't you enjoy it? How'd I get into this thing
with a crazy guy like you? What's the matter with you?
We're gonna get killed! Don't you understand what
you've done to us here? -What do you mean Monday?
-When you drive the car? We're gonna get killed
if you drive like that! I don't care about getting
killed driving like that!
I'm accident prone anyway! That's probably how
I got into this thing with you,
because of that suicidal urge! Change the arrangement back!
Get the plane Friday. It's your responsibility,
because if anybody gets killed you're gonna
get killed for this! I'm hot, I'm hot,
I'm oh so very hot. Only a moron like you
could talk about women now! I wanna have some
lady in a tent tonight. -Oh, my God.
-Will you pull over to the
side of the road, please? I can't believe that we're
stopping here. We just started
going, and we're stopping here. The whole thing
I just can't believe it. Three days later,
and you tell me afterwards. It's just unbelievable.
Everything was wrong
to begin with, and now you
pull this on me. It's ridiculous. (organ music plays) Don't you understand,
if we sit in this room
then we look guilty? -Oh, my God, you're impossible.
-Then we look like
something's wrong? -Why don't you get yourself--
-Well, I'm not that stupid
not to be afraid in the situation of what
we've done, and if you weren't
a complete idiot and moron and obsessed with the money
you've got, you'd realize
what danger we're in. We've got three days more
and these are professional criminals
and this is a huge organization. -Oh, stop your stupidity.
I really feel like slapping you.
-Will you relax? Would you listen
to me for a second. Understand what
I'm doing here. You know why
I'm doing this?
For you, for me! This is what
we should do. Go down to the bar,
relax, be natural. What do you wanna be,
two assholes in a room? I'm gonna take you
to the bar now and just try
to look normal. You're not
going to the bar. We agreed that we're
staying in this room. I've been in this
room three hours
and I've had it, okay? -You're staying in this room.
-I wanna get out of the room. You're making yourself
pretty for yourself because you're
not going anywhere. So just stay here. Here we are
in the existential realm? Yes, this-- we call
this existential, that is to say
one works out of what it is
to be a person. So for Buber, there is
what you might call talking about something, that's talking about ideas? -Yes. About is always an idea.
-Man: Then there is talking
to someone. -Yes.
-Man: Uh... So that, as far as Buber
was concerned-- now tell me whether you
agree with this-- it's really almost illegitimate
to talk about God. The only thing legitimate
is talking to God,
and that's prayer. Yes, that's quite right, except one does
very interesting things. Okay, now it's
your turn to drive. I'm pulling up at
the next gas station there, and we're gonna
change places. I'm gonna sit in the back. You can put on
the chauffeur's cap
and drive. (indistinct chattering) How you doing? -Fine, good.
-That's a great car, you know? Let me ask you this,
do you get good bread
for driving that Turkey? You think
I'm a driver? Do I look like
a driver to you? What's the matter with you?
It's my car, I own the car. -Oh, you own the car.
-That's right. The guy in the back seat
drives the car most of the time. He's a friend of mine.
He just got tired,
he can't take it. So I figured I'd put on the hat
and drive a little bit,
that's all, for fun. -Is it fun?
-I don't happen
to like to drive. I have a whole staff
back where I live. I have a driver full time,
I have a butler. I have
a number of things. Yeah. I don't drive anybody's car.
It's my own car. Okay? You need a driver
then, right? I should have a driver.
I should have a lot of things, but I happen to be
on the road a second. -Why? You know
how to drive?
-Yeah! You live here in this town? Well, yeah, kinda. Yeah? You wanna
get out of here? Where are you going?
Where do you live? I tell you what,
you want to make
some bread? How much bread? -A lot of money.
-What's "A lot of money"? How'd you like to--
How'd you like to change
your whole life, mister? (scatting) -(inaudible)
-Takes a lot of bread to
make it, you know, as a singer. My God, a lot of bread. But I got the pipes for it.
I swear I got the pipes. One of these days they'll
probably insure my pipes for like a million dollars. Wouldn't that be fun? Making payment
on your pipes?
(chuckles) What, are you crazy, bringing
another person along with us? -You're endangering what we're--
-Are you crazy? Do you think anybody's gonna look
at a $1,000-a-day chauffeur,
two guys with classy looking-- $1,000 a day?
What do you mean? -I gave him 4,000. I told you.
-You gave him 4,000 to drive? I gave him 1,000 down,
I'll give him 3,000
when we get there. Are you completely crazy,
spending our money like that?
I'm not giving him anything. You know what
4,000 is to me?
I spit on 4,000. You spit on that?
Then spit on your own,
in that case. -You pay for it. How is that?
-Fine, I'll pay for it. Oh, okay, in that case.
But I still think it was a
stupid thing to bring him along. But I don't.
I like it. This is the greatest front you
could ever have in your life. -What a front this is,
don't you understand that?
-I don't know about that at all. Well, you've
done it now, okay. Just be careful
what you talk to him. Don't drink.
Don't tell him anything. I'm not gonna drink
once on the whole trip,
I promise you that. -Okay?
-Okay. A lot of bread to make
it in show business.
Just for costumes. You know how much--
I mean, just for costumes. You have to have
everything special made.
I mean, you know what I mean? You're gonna have...
(blubbers) This is where
you want to go? Shoes? You know,
I mean, you can't have
one pair of shoes. Simon: Don't forget, Moose,
when you pull up to let me have
the key to the car. I always want to have the keys
to the car whenever
we stop driving. Moose:
Okay, we're home. (crowd cheering on TV) (game announcers
speaking on TV) Wait a minute. You know, I was
just next door. I mean, I can't believe this.
Okay, you're a big shot
so you took another room-- -Shh!
-Wait a minute. You took
another room for yourself. You've got a room there
with two beds. You've got
two rooms and four beds? -What's the idea?
-What do you care
what I have? -Who are you calling, then?
Who are you calling?
-Yes. Room 111. -Who are you calling?
-Would you shut up
for a second? No, no. I'm worried
about your behavior.
Who are you calling? (announcers speak indistinctly) Hiya, Sammy.
Sid Becker, how are you? Listen, I want to get
an early line on two things. I want Denver, and I want
to know about Seattle. Okay, Denver,
I'm gonna give
the points. Seattle, I'm gonna
take the points. Do you know you
still owe me $13 from a shared dinner
which you haven't paid me
from six months ago? Okay, now, on Seattle,
I want it twice, and-- and Denver,
I want four times. Okay, babe.
Thank you very much. -I'll talk to you, buh-bye.
-Okay, what are you doing? You're gambling again?
Who did you call? -This is
the best bet I ever made.
-Do they know where you are? How can they know where I am?
Did I tell them where I was? I called.
I charged it
to the room. How are you going
to collect your money
when you win the bet? I'm not gonna collect the money.
I'm not collecting it.
I never win, so I'm not going to
pay for the first time 'cause I'm gonna be
in Costa Rica! This is the first
time in my life that if I lose,
I win because-- (knocking) Wh... (deep voice)
Who is it? -I'm gonna go see.
-Don't see.
(deep voice) Who is it? What are you guys
doing here? -What are you
doing here, Moose?
-I'm going out to the pool, if you need anything.
You need anything? Well, I met a guy who's
got a six-string ukulele. I'll see you
at the pool, all right? I don't like this. Why's he going to the pool?
He's not supposed
to go to the pool. He's not supposed
to go swimming?
I don't understand. He's gotta have a reason
for going to the pool. -Make your arrangements
with him.
-Arrangements? -Yeah. You're the guy
who hired him.
-I don't like it. I'm telling you,
for the first time,
I don't like it. Huh, I didn't like it
to begin with. (acoustic music playing) (Moose scatting) Woman:
Over and over.
And up. Then split your legs. Yeah, I can't nearly split
my legs as far as you. That's what I was watching
in the first place. -Simon: Show me
another one that you do.
-How about a yoga exercise? -Simon: Sure.
-Okay. It's called
a spinal twist. Sit like this. Cross one leg, put your
arm through like this. What? You put your
arm through like this? My hands don't reach. Okay, just reach
as far as you can.
Look back there. Sit up straight.
Sit up straight. Come here, pull
my hands together.
Pull my hands together. -Make my hands touch.
-There you go. -Aah!
-See. Don't hurt yourself. -You're not supposed to strain.
-That's pretty good for me. Oh, in fact that stand
you were doing before, I can do it this way, like... -Yeah.
-The thing is
that I'm always jealous of the physical abilities
some people have, I don't. Of course, I have them
in other directions and some are even
contradictory to the others, but I try to get a maximum
of each without losing
some of the other. (Moose scatting) -Are you okay?
-The ground's
a little bit rough there. Oh, there's... -My name's Jenny.
-I'm Simon. (Moose scatting) -Burning.
-I'll put lotion on you. Baby? I'm burning. -I'm a little burned.
-(splashing) -I'll put lotion on you.
-Well, can't we go
in the shade? Let's put
some lotion
on first. Where's your hat? -You don't have it out here?
-Yeah. That's a good idea. Put your hat on. (Moose continues scatting) Sid: I watched you,
by the way, at the pool today and I must say that you not only
did the exercises, but you have
a very beautiful body. Jenny:
Thank you. And me, I hope
in all respects,
is a compliment. -Oh, that's very nice.
-Oh, no, I love people
noticing her body. -I notice it a lot.
-Yeah. I mean, I wasn't
leering at it, -but I couldn't help but notice.
-You can leer at it, a little.
That's all right. You can't do anything
but leer. Even when you
don't leer you leer. (Jenny laughs) -What's happening, man?
-What's happening? -That was great
today by the pool.
-Yeah, it was fun. -This is Carol.
-Hi, Carol. -Carol, this is Moose.
-How are you? Joe Mastaki. -Moose plays the guitar
and writes songs.
-Uh-huh. Um... Excuse me, what is
that that you're taking? That's one of my general
collection of vitamins. This one's called
pangamic acid. That's actually
vitamin B-15. Oh, do you know what?
I didn't even know
that there was a 15. I knew there
was a B1, but... -Do you know
something about vitamins?
-Well, I know a little. Yeah, well, even if you
knew a lot, don't be surprised
you don't know about 15, because to being with,
in the United States it's not
even recognized as a vitamin. -It's a drug?
-No, it's certainly not a drug. -What is it?
-Well, the Food
and Drugs Admin-- Sid:
I can't believe this.
Can I get some food? -Okay, she'll be with
you in a moment.
-What's going on? -Anyway, that's--
-Leona, please stop
talking to customers. The gentleman's
waiting for his dinner. Excuse me.
I'm sorry. Just-- I have to go
serve this food.
I'm sorry. -I'll just take the pill,
'cause it's good for me.
-Okay. (chuckles) Sid:
What's going on?
Are you crazy? -Simon: What'd I do?
-Sid: I want my food.
I want my beer. -Simon: You have to
interrupt me when I'm having--
-Sid: The woman's working here. Can't get any food.
It took me the whole time
to get the beer. I'm happy with the steak.
I got a really rare one. -Me too.
-I got absolutely nothing. I have your beer.
Here you are. Sid:
Great. I'm driving, uh-- I'm driving
these two guys down to Miami. Wonderful bread,
wonderful bread. I'm not really a driver see,
W-what I really am is, you know,
is like a writer/singer. -I mean, and a poet
and a philosopher.
-Carol: Oh. -This is a vitamin
that's used in Russia.
-Oh. Leona, stop talking
to the customers. Go back
to your station right now. -What did you do?
-Nothing, she just asked
me about my vitamins. You, um-- do you really
think I should-- I guess I should stop
talking to the customers. -That's right.
-You're absolutely right. Don't you think I should stop
talking to the customers? -I really shouldn't be
talking to the customers.
-What's going on around here? I think, I think you
should have this. You are right. I should
not talk to people. I should not be here. I should sit down
and be a person like everybody else and
you all should talk to me. I certainly don't deserve
to be treated with
any kind of respect or any kind of--
or any kind of lovingness or treated like a human
being who deserves--
who-who-who... I am a person,
and I am going to be
treated like one. What's going on? Everybody's nuts.
You know that? -What's going on?
-It's very embarrassing
to me to see this kind of-- How's your strength?
I'd like to feel some muscles. You would, huh?
Just touch me here. -Right under here.
-Right there? -Yeah. Feel it?
-That's very good. -Yeah?
-Very good. Yeah. You have
a very nice body. -Very, very attractive--
-I can hardly breathe. I've never known a man
with a mustache before. Don't you think it's
about time you did? Yeah, I think it is. (whispering)
How close are you
to this man over here? He's a friend. He makes me
a bit uncomfortable. I'd like
to talk to you. Maybe we can
arrange that. Oh, God, I feel sick. You're always sick. Sidney, are
you always sick? -Sid: I never get sick.
-Jenny: No, you don't. -You're very healthy.
-Oh! What's going on? What's the
matter with this guy?
Are you all right? (sobbing) Are you okay? Can I do
something for you? Just relax,
take it easy. Jesus. -You know, Sidney,
I don't know what--
-(shushing) I don't know what
the hell you're doing. -What are you doing--
-What did I say to her? -The girl was coming on to me.
-Do you think we have enough
trouble without causing things? You and your stupid
approaches to women. Hey, listen, man.
I'm going to the bar, I'm having a drink,
I'm going to sleep, that's it. Just don't get yourself
into any more trouble
in the bar there. -Oh, brother.
-Hello. I wanted to apologize 'cause I think I might have made
you feel a little badly. I have school. College? High school. Senior. I'm seventeen. (Moose and Carol chuckle) Oh, my God. -Be careful,
just a baby here.
-Yeah. You mind if
I sit down? No. You should try one of these.
I think it'll make
you feel better. I can't drink.
It makes me too sick. That bastard. He left me here
completely stranded. (sobbing)
I don't have any money. I don't have any way
to get out of here. He didn't pay the bill. Listen, he'll probably
come back, first of all. He's not gonna come back.
I know him. He won't come back. The second thing is,
you don't have to
worry about any money. Let me tell you that.
I happen to have
a lot of money. I'm serious. Do you know what I'm doing
walking around here? I've been doing one thing.
I've been looking for you. -Get yourself a chair.
Sit down, babe.
-I've been worried about you. -How you doing, Sid?
How you doing?
-You're so nice. -I'm so really
concerned about you.
-Thank you. -What's the result of this?
-I quit my job. You quit?
Just for the moment
or you really quit? I quit, but I want you to
know that just because you were here when it
happened, I didn't want you to feel that you
were to blame for it. I'm going from here to
the most beautiful place
in the whole country. -Where are you going?
-Miami Beach, Florida. I don't have the temperament
to work as a waitress. I just do not have
the temperament
to work as a waitress. I have outside
in the parking lot -a limousine which
is my limousine.
-Your limousine? That's right.
It's hard to believe, right? I just walk around,
I look like another guy. What are you doing? I'm gonna get
some shampoo. -Oh, out of this machine?
-Yeah. Where are you going? I dunno.
Home, I guess.
You know. You are gonna fall
desperately in love
with me. It's hard to
believe, right? You're gonna love
me and hold me and you'll kiss me. No strings attached. Well, listen, I was just
going to my room to watch a little television. Do you want to join me? Just to watch a
little television? -I love you.
-Oh, stop. I love you.
I swear on my life. I love you more
than I love myself. I want you
so much close to me. And take your time.
I don't care how long
it takes. You're with somebody
for the first time. I can take complete
care of you. Anything you want. I'm not kidding.
I'm so serious. I want you so badly. Day will break,
and I'll awake To start to bake
a sugar cake For you to take
to all the boys to see Both:
We will raise a family Man:
A boy for you... I can't figure it out. I just can't figure it out.
Every time when you're
watching television everything just always
works out beautifully or if there're problems,
they know how to solve
the problems. Everybody knows how to
take care of themselves and make a living
or feed themselves or-- or there's a point
to it all if they don't. Simon:
You know that guy,
Sidney, who's with me? We're going on some kind
of a trip and, um... maybe you can just come along.
Maybe you ought to come along
with us on the trip. What do you think of that?
Maybe you ought to come with us since you don't kind of, like--
you don't know exactly
what you're doing here. -What do you think of the idea?
-I would love to
get away from here. I can't tell you how much
I'd love to get away from here. But I don't want to
lead you on and if we
go to a trip-- on a trip together,
then for sure you'll be expecting to have
some sort of, like-- like, sex or, you know,
that kind of thing. It's very strange that
I'm inviting you along. If I like you, I'll feel like
having sex with you, but I'll only feel like
having sex with you if you feel like
having sex with me, so as long as you feel that
that's not something you want to do, you certainly
don't have to worry about me trying to impose it on you
or anything like that. Certainly it's up to you.
It's nothing to do with it. That's not a condition
of your coming or anything. There are things about me
that are so good, and so valuable, and I can't
find a place for them.
You know what I mean? It's like I'm totally wasted
in this whole environment. Just come with us.
Just come with us,
and we'll see what happens. Yeah. I-- I wanna
go with you. I just want to show you this.
I've got enough vitamins
for both of us. Take a look at this. You see? And even though
I take rather sizable
amounts of vitamins, and I'm a little bit stingy
about my vitamins, I have plenty here that I can
share with you for the trip. (metal clanking) Aaaugh! It's me, man!
It's me! Don't you
see it's me? You crazy drunk bastard,
I can smell you-- -What do you mean "drunk"?
-Shut up! -What the hell
are you doin' here?
-I want some money. I gotta get some
fucking money out. First of all, we agreed
not to touch the money
'til we get there. Secondly, you
must be crazy. Here, in the hotel,
anybody could walk
out and see you. Thirdly-- -But I need some money now. Do--
-Shut up and listen. Thirdly, you're so drunk.
You couldn-- I never had
any drinks tonight. -Okay. You couldn't get
the money with a crowbar.
-I had two drinks. You have to raise the wheels,
you have to take 'em off. -You need the machine
to take it out.
-I want fucking money. -You can't get any money.
-Then get out! Shut up or I'm gonna
take the car and go myself now,
you understand that? -Shut up now.
-Oh, Jesus Christ. Don't ever touch those tires
again because they belong to me,
you understand that? Two of the tires are mine
and two are yours. -I can't function
without cash!
-(shushing) -I need cash!
-Keep your voice down,
or I'm gonna choke you out. You can't touch that money.
You couldn't get it
that way anyway. Use your credit cards if
you need to spend money. Use those credit cards
that you've always
been showing off. -What a great idea.
-(shushing) -You know something?
-Quiet. -You know, you're right.
-Quiet. -Don't choke me!
-I'm gonna choke-- -For the first
time you're right.
-Yes, just keep quiet. Because I don't give a shit
if I pay them or not -'cause I'm going
to Costa Rica...
-Shut up. -...and I don't give
a shit about--
-Shut up! (engine idling) Leona:
It's very strange
going on this trip with the three--
four people that
I don't really even know. And I have never been
in a limousine before. This is very odd. Every single time I've ever seen
a limousine or a Cadillac or something like that,
I have always felt that, um, those people
had something that they shouldn't
be having. Every single time
I see a Cadillac I have this awful
urge to hit it. And I am a very nice
person. I just can't understand how people
can take up so much space on the road and spend
so much money on a car when other people
don't have anything. Have you noticed people
have been really hostile to you since you've
been in this car? -Hostile to me?
-People get very angry at people
who have a lot of things. Does anybody know where
we're going? Does anybody know
what road I should be taking? Do I just drive where the sun--
I mean, I just follow
south, right? I've never really
known how to start. It's really been my problem.
Do you know what I mean? I mean, some guys,
I guess they just know
where to be to start, and-and-- but I never did. I'm trying to write
the great American song. If you can
write one great...
(chuckles) Just one great
American song, then-- I mean, then you don't
have to worry about it
the rest of your life. You know what I mean? Just like a breeze
blowing your hair Flying you this way,
set you down there Ain't got me a worry,
ain't got no care Both:
Oh, yeah Moose:
Take it. Bom-bom Jenny:
Just like a hound dog
asleep in the shade Just like a clown
in a small town parade It's great.
It's great. I got a feelin'
that I got it made Oh, yeah,
sunny side up Okay, I'll buy that. Just like a tingle
deep down in your toes Just like a fire
whose flame slowly grows I got the ro-deo-dos Both:
sunny side up (scatting) Just like a penny
in a poor man's hand Fifteen arms
in a one-man band I found
my promised land Mmm-mmm (Moose vocalizing) (fingers snapping) Sid! You do one, Sid! -(off-key)
-(all laugh) Look at me drivin' now Mmm-mmm,
I'm drivin' now Oh yes, Mother,
look at me,
I'm rich I'm just as rich
as I can be I fee like...
(scatting) I do, mister,
I'm a rich, rich man - I'm so rich,
so doggone bloody rich
-(Jenny vocalizes off-key) 'Cause I am the king
of this here road Moose and Jenny:
Mmm-mmm (Moose scatting) (Jenny joins in) I might go
to the room with you, and I might not. But before I make
a decision like that, I have to know
something about you.
I don't even know you. What do you
want to know? What are you
going to do in Miami? What do you do
for a living? Why are you traveling
on the road like this? -Who is your friend?
-Wow, that's a lot
of questions. I'm a deal maker. -I make all kinds of deals.
-What kinds of deals? Simon:
Leona? Leona? -(Leona exclaiming)
-Take it easy,
it's Simon, it's Simon. Don't get excited.
It's me. -(Leona sighs)
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to scare you. But I came by and,
you know, your door was open. -I wanted to see,
but your door was.
-(mumbles) But, you know,
it's not a good idea-- I'm sorry I scared you
but it's not a good idea
to just have your door open. -Someone else
could have come in.
-Oh, no. I didn't know
it was open. -Uh, what do you want?
-Oh. I'm sorry now,
but I just thought
maybe you would be up and I wanted to talk
or just visit a little bit. Um, I'm-- I'm asleep. Yeah, I saw that
your TV was on. Yeah, but I just have
it on for company. (chuckles)
Maybe I can't
compete with a TV, but I'm sort
of a company myself. What's the next question? What are you going
to do in Miami? -I have a particular thing to do
with some grain down there.
-Um-hmm. -Buying and selling
some grain.
-I see. -Are you feeling okay now?
You're not scared or anything?
-No, no. How come you sleep with
the door open? I mean,
what kind of a thing is that? -I know. I forgot to lock it.
-What, you did it by accident? Yes. Sometimes
I forget that. I came by slowly
trying to determine
if you were up or not, I saw some kind
of flickering light, then I was amazed
that the door's open, and, like, that's
a very strange person like me
coming in for a visit. -And you want me to
come to your room, huh?
-Desperately. What for? To be with you, to
put my hands on you, to-- to touch you. You want to have sex. Well, amongst other things.
I don't just want to have sex. I want to talk to you. We can talk here too. But we can't touch here. Sure, we can touch.
This is a touch. But we can't--
we can't feel each other
underneath our clothes. -That's true.
-Okay. That may be one
of the reasons
I prefer to stay here. It is very important
that you understand that I cannot and I will
not be in a situation
in my life right now and I don't think ever again
where I meet someone, I like them,
and I immediately spend the night with them
and have sex with them. Okay, okay, listen,
I want to tell you something, I want to explain
something to you.
This is difficult to do. Uh... The whole thing
of a man approaching
a woman and trying to have sex
with her all comes from the fact that society
is dominated by men and men made rules
completely perverting and contrary to what
the laws of nature are. Because women have
a much greater sexuality than men have
in every way. -Simon--
-Please just listen. Women have a much
stronger sex drive. Their sex drive gets
stronger and stronger
as men's get weaker. They have many orgasms
during a time, when a man
only has one orgasm. They feel it much
more physically, emotionally
and everything else. By every logic,
the women should be
the one's who are pursuing sex, whether it's just purely
physical, as you said,
or emotionally. (inhales) And men
are very afraid of it, they are very fallible,
and it's their sexuality
that fails all the time. To protect themselves from it,
they made objects out of women that they go and get sex out of,
that they pay or that they do
something or the other with. That's what the whole thing is. And that's why I refuse to be
part of a situation like that. You see, I'm really
fantastically good at sex. I'm fantastically good at sex, because I have all
the proper components
of being good at it. When I'm doing it,
I'm not doing it to satisfy
myself physically. I'm doing something to share
something with a woman
and to give a woman a pleasure, the sense of--
the degree of pleasure
that she can have. I'm doing it not as a physical
thing artificially separated
from an emotional thing. From a physical point of view,
I do it for any length of time -for the woman to have
endless number of orgasms.
-Uh-huh. I know it sounds crazy
if I'm going to explain to you that I'm the best person
in the world at sex. I can't prove any
of this unless you do
have sex with me. What you're talking
about is sex, and what you're talking
about is a sexual experience. What I am
talking about is love. And I don't care
how good that one
sexual experience is or two or three or 100. What I want is
someone to love and someone who will
love me and will be committed to me
for a very long time. It's so goddamn wrong.
First of all, listen to me. What the hell are you doing
getting into my bathtub?
Are you crazy? I just can't believe that you
would walk in here naked
and get in the bathtub with me! -So what?
-Get out of here! We got no
broads, right?
And it pisses me off. -I said--
-I tell you what.
Listen to me for a second. You gotta think to
yourself, "We're rich. We're free
for the first time
in our life!" -Let's clean up.
-Wash up. Come on.
-Get out of here! Get away from me! I'm telling you,
wash up and feel good! -You know--
-You're a rich man.
Listen to me! You know who I owe it to?
Not to me, to you!
You son of a bitch! -(laughing)
-You know something? -You know something?
-Give me a kiss, you son
of a bitch! I'm gonna--
I'm gonna throw you
physically out of here, except touching you
physically has some
unfortunate implications. You get a hooker
for 50 bucks. -Oh, God.
-You have
no bullshit like this. This is crazy. We got everything in
the world going for us. We got money.
We could have
anything in the world and you have me sitting
in a fuckin' bar alone. Now will you do
what I say this time? Make a phone call and let's
get a couple of broads here. You're behaving
like a deviant. -A deviant?
-That's right. What, you're worried
about me sexually? I'm not worried, but the whole
idea of your getting in
the bathtub with me naked. What the fuck am I
supposed to do sitting
on a highway with no women? Want me to
do your leg? (chuckles) (sighs) Feel good? Mm-hmm. And you? Okay. It's better than
driving the car. (both laughing) (sighs) How'd you end up
with these two guys? God, I wish I knew. -What'd she say to you tonight?
-I'm telling you-- -What'd she say to you tonight?
-About what? What are you
doing here alone? I'm not discussing
my relationship
with women with you. That's a private thing
between me and them. Well, it's pretty obvious
you're not with her, are ya? And it's pretty obvious
I'm not-- Of course I'm not with
anybody right now, I'm doing my exercises. I'm on this trip, I'm not
getting my exercises properly, I'm not even
getting proper food.
There isn't fresh food. You know what
the best exercise-- It's junk food around here.
And I will-- You know what
the best exercise is?
Fucking. -Fucking is
a very good exercise.
-Of course it is. But from what you've told me
about the way you do it, how can you get the exercise?
You do it so briefly. You have an orgasm so quickly.
When you do it-- Where did you hear
this shit now? Come on. Come on. You acknowledged it
about yourself. You always have to restrain
yourself from coming. That's not true.
Of course I have to
restrain myself from coming. Don't you have to
restrain yourself? Of course I don't have
to restrain myself. It's a complete natural thing
for me to be on a level very close to coming
and keep extending it
indefinitely, because I'm interested in
transferring the pleasure
to the woman. So you're just
a gentleman driver, huh? And a poet,
philosopher, songwriter... apache dancer. Lover. Receiver of... (laughing) ...of love from strangers. I'm not a stranger. -Not anymore.
-Uh-huh. You know, I'm not
going on with this with your being in the tub
with me here. I don't wanna be
in the tub with you here. I'm gonna start my exercise. What, you think
I wanna do this? I got no place to go! (car horn blaring) (car horn blaring) Probably not them at all.
It's somebody who found out. Maybe it's your driver.
Somebody who found out
that we have money. (screaming)
Why is it me?
Why not you? Because I don't talk
like you do. I don't show off money
like you do. That's why. We're gone. We're gone!
Look at this thing, will you? -Get the other door.
-Simon: Shut up. Don't look at the wheels.
Don't look at the wheels. They ripped the fuckin' car
apart and took the money! -That's what they did!
-Shut up, damn it. Jesus Christ! We did
all of that shit for nothin'! -Shut up and listen to me now.
-Damn it. They haven't got the money.
They haven't got it. -How the fuck do you know?
-Shut up and listen. I know how, I put the tires
and I checked.
They haven't got... -Don't look there anymore.
-How do you know? Because they may be watching us and we're alive
because they didn't find it. So don't look there anymore. Who cares about the car.
We're getting... Yeah, but the money in the car! We got it. I tell you we got it. Let's fix up the car
and get out of here now. I wanna see
the fucking money now! -I wanna see--
-You're not seeing anything. -I must see it!
-You're not looking there again. -Now, let's fix the car up.
-Goddamn you. -Shut up.
-Son of a bitch! Thank you. Something strange
is going on here. Wh-what do you mean? I think there's something
weird about this setup. Why are we
walking on this street?
I wanna know why. I don't trust the driver,
I don't want him to hear
what we're saying. I gotta tell you something... Don't you realize
how ridiculous this looks, two people walking
on the street like this and the car coming behind? Has Simon said anything to you? -About anything?
-No. No. But you know something? I think
I really like Simon... -You do?
-...and he really seems like he's interested
in me, you know? -That's nice.
-Yeah. I really like him. Don't start trusting him
too much. To lull the suspicion
we just have to keep going
like nothing has happened. -Keep your voice down.
-It's probably-- it's probably because
of your loudmouth talking. You probably showed off
about the money either to him or somebody else. I showed off to nobody.
I said nothing to anybody. Then it's the people
we took it from who found us. Just don't--
don't get too vulnerable. -Act natural
right now, just...
-(geese quacking) (no discernible dialog) (no discernible dialog) (chuckles) I wish we were
going to California. You know what I mean?
Instead of just, like, to Miami. Wouldn't it be fun if we--
I mean, just-- I mean, maybe we could
all five just keep going
and go to California. What masturbation accomplished
for me is that long before
I even had sex I learned how to do it for
indefinite periods of time...
-Simon: Without masturbation-- ...not the problems men have
of controlling how long
they do it, so that without even
any conscious control I could do it for
any period of time... Without masturbation,
he wouldn't be who he is today. -It's true. He'd be nobody.
-Absolutely. That's true. Sid:
If he didn't masturbate-- Guys, keep it clean
back there, all right? My mother said that
when I was a tiny baby, only a couple of months old,
I was lying in her lap and suddenly I started
getting all hot and sweaty
and working myself up, and she got
very nervous about it. She took me to the doctor,
and the doctor told her
that I was masturbating. I've done it all my life
ever since, in fact it's been
a big lifesaver to me. I don't know what I would have
done without it. Sure,
it's a great activity. Didn't it give you
a real great sense
of sexuality? Sure. I never had
a problem with it. -You were just a little baby?
-Simon: I got a great idea. -Yeah, I've always done it.
-Want to pull over now? -Yeah.
-Huh? You want to
masturbate with us? Take a couple of shots. We'll all sit down together
and do our thing. First time I did it I was
standing up in a barn... (laughing) And I didn't know that you were
supposed to lie down, that's why I did it standing up. What? Oh. Something I said? I'm trying
to teach everyone
how to do it. I thought I was
the only one in the world
who knew about this. -I did teach my friend.
-Oh, well, you know-- I taught my friend
to masturbate, I did. -I honestly did.
-The amazing thing about me-- -I told him
it was my exercises.
-I didn't realize-- He caught me and I said,
"Oh, I'll teach you
this exercise," 'cause he didn't know
what it was. And I said, "Now these are exercises
and you just do them, like,
whenever you feel like it." And then I think later on
he found out that it was masturbating. Simon:
I have an unusual way
of doing it. I did it different
than most men, I rubbed against objects
lying down. Do you still at this age
rub against objects? -Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
-Inanimate objects? That's right, because-- Have you considered yourself
a normal human being? Absolutely. It's the imagination
of what I'm thinking about. -What are you doing
with this woman here?
-Leona: Why? Is this as exciting
as an object to you,
as an inanimate object? You're the guy who when
you have sex with a woman, you have
a masturbatory mentality. (laughing) Simon:
I've been waiting
for lunch for a microcentury. I'm pretty hungry by now. A microcentury is
approximately 54 minutes. One millionth of a century. Jenny:
I'm pretty hungry, too. Simon: You've been waiting
perhaps more than
a microcentury. Jenny: I've been waiting
all my life for lunch. -I'm constantly hungry.
-(Simon laughing) Leona:
I'd buy some delicatessen
and some chocolates, I get in bed, and I put this food
in like a line on the bed.
I have this section
to section to section, and it works from my head
all the way down to my toes, and then I kind
of just reach over and just kind of eat my food,
and it's very fulfilling. It's almost like having
a person next to me in a way. Jenny:
My whole goal in life
is to be really skinny. I still hate myself
after every meal, I still feel disgustingly full
and want to eat more. I asked you not
to light up, for God's sake, not when
we're eating dinner. You blow that stuff
at me again-- We should have some-- Put that on the other side.
Put it down. Don't smoke at me. Keep away from me
with that poison stuff of yours. Why don't you grow up? -What kind of a device is that?
-Grow up? I'm gonna protect
my airspace. You know you're a very sick guy?
Come on, will you, please? Simon:
What a satisfaction I have getting some of that poison
back in your face. Do you feel good now?
Are you happy? -Simon:
Damn right I feel good.
-Uh-huh. You want me to get
your jump rope out of the car? (indistinct chatter) -(strumming guitar)
-New verse. Just like a boxer
with no black and blues Just like a dancer
in a new pair of shoes I'm like a drinker
in a fountain of booze Ee-yeah Bridge. (Moose vocalizing) (indistinct chatter) Leona: I mean, I can't
go on the rest of my life
just being by myself, 'cause, see,
I'm totally confused. I can't figure out
what my relationship
with men is supposed
to be anymore. You're driving me
absolutely crazy. See, I decided
that the only way
I can survive is if I am absolutely alone. See, there's like these
deep thoughts inside me, right, and if I just keep them
deep inside me, and if I don't--
if I don't tamper
with them, if I don't deal with
my own loneliness, I can make a life for myself,
and I can be perfectly happy. Hi. Hello. (chiming) Would you like to
have sex with me? Because if you'd like to,
I'd like to have sex with you. I understand if you don't
want to, and that's all right. But if you'd like to,
I think we should
get started soon. I think we should
get started soon. What do you say? I'd like to. You're a very sweet man. I think I'm gonna
like this a lot. And you're driving me
absolutely crazy. I mean, on one hand
you're so good to me, and you're making me feel like--
like you accept me, you know. But on the other hand, I don't
think you really know who I am, and I don't want you
to be, um, like, if you kiss me or if you kind of
maybe want to love me, that doesn't mean
that you have to love me
for the rest of your life. I mean, I think
I'm driving you crazy. My daddy left
when I was eight.
(sniffles) He left me and my mother
just like you're leaving. (crying) I'm not leaving, no. Sure, you're leaving her. Look. She's just a little girl, she doesn't know
what's going on. I tell you,
I'm not leaving her. Where are you going
on this trip then? I don't want you to cry. Where are you going? I'm just going
for a very short trip, and I'm gonna go back,
I'm gonna see her, and I'm gonna give her
everything in the world
that I never had, that I want her to have,
that I want you to have. Don't you understand that? That's all. That's why
I'm doing this. -(sniffles)
-(chiming) I love
to see you smile. The thing is,
I am totally confused. I mean, I had everything
all settled in my mind, I knew exactly
what I wanted to do, and then you come along
and-and all of a sudden I have these feelings for you,
and I absolutely-- I don't even know
what I'm gonna do. I've had these feelings before,
they're absolutely
terrifying me, and I want no part of it. I think we should get started. There's just one thing. I don't kiss. I mean, it sounded like
it was a wonderful idea
to go on this trip, to see things,
to get away from-- and to do something, but on the other hand
I can't do that. I can't do that. I mean,
I've made a mistake.
Here I am. What am I doing to you?
What am I doing to myself? -So what do you want to do?
-I don't know. What I have to do is,
I have to go back to my room
I have to pack my things, I have to thank you
for a wonderful time, and I have to go. I just have to go. This is--
I've gotta go. -Wait, wait. Come here.
-Okay? Come here one moment.
I want to talk to you
for one minute. Just-- -come on.
-I can't. I have to go. (indistinct chatter) Simon, what's the matter?
You having a problem? I-I can't talk
to you right now. -Hi.
-Hi. Look, do you only talk about sex
or do you do it, too? Do I only-- uh-- Would you, um,
like to have sex with me? Because if you'd like to,
I'd love to have sex with you. Um... Now, I understand
if you don't want to-- No, no, no. I mean,
It's very interesting, and especially when a woman
wants to have sex with me, of course I'd love to
have sex with you. But something else
is going on with me right now. I'm in a very, um-- by the way, I thought
you liked Sidney. -Jenny:
Sidney's asleep.
-Sidney's asleep? But if you want to,
I think we should try it. We can stop any time
you're not enjoying it. You're a very sweet man,
and I think I'm gonna
like this a lot. (classical score plays) Simon? Simon, this is silly. I can't leave you. Simon? I don't believe this. I don't believe this. I don't believe this. I'm gettin' out of here.
I'm gettin' out of here. I'm gettin' out of here. I'm gettin' out of here. Simon:
My keys! My keys. Leona! Leona! -Leona! Leona!
-(car engine revving) (tires squealing) Please, Leona.
Please stop the car! Leona,
please stop the car. Why did you get
in the car? Leona, what are
you doing? I know exactly what I'm doing.
I know what I'm doing. I'm gonna kill myself. You don't wanna
kill me, do you? So you want to kill yourself,
you don't want to kill me? Okay, let me
get out of the car. Stop the car.
Stop the car. -(horn blaring)
-Will you stop the car? Slow down. Be careful there!
Slow down. Let me get out of the car
and then do what you want. I am not going to be
a victim anymore. Nobody's victimizing you. I have all nice feelings
towards you. -(horn honking)
-Please, Leona, let me
just talk to you. I can't talk to you this way,
because we're both
getting killed! I am gonna have some power. I didn't do anything, Leona. So I had
a miscellaneous intercourse. I'm gonna
get rid of all the hurt! I'm gonna get rid
of all the pain! Just stop the car,
let us discuss the thing. (sobbing) You're gonna get
us both killed. You don't want to kill yourself,
and you don't want to kill me. You're not being
made a victim. (horn blaring) Everything is
gonna be so nice, so wonderful,
and so-- so peaceful. There isn't
any peace in death. In death,
you're just dead. (horn honking) Please, please stop the car. Let's just stop the car
and sit and talk. Afterwards you can do
anything you want. (horn honking) (tires screeching) -I tell you, it was
the booze, first of all.
-(man speaking on TV) That's all it was,
is the booze. It was-- and I want--
I want to hold you, I want another chance
with you. -Okay?
-It's okay. It's okay. Don't treat me
like a fuckin' child, will ya? I'm not treating you
like a child. Don't worry about it, all right?
It isn't important. -I was--
-It doesn't mean anything. -Okay. Sure.
-It's not important. Is there a movement within
the Orthodox Church? The women themselves? No, fortunately enough,
we don't have any
movement at all because our people,
I guess, they know very well
the theological principles and they don't ask for it. Did you ever try to
do something like that to yourself before? -Yeah.
-What'd you do? Once I, um--
I tried to slit my wrist. -Really?
-Yeah. But, um, I did it
on the wrong side. I didn't understand
how it worked 'cause you see,
I have this line here. And so, um, it seemed like
it was easy to do it there except that I couldn't get
the razor to go through it. -It was the only part.
-(laughing) I mean it. I couldn't get
the thing started 'cause there's
a bone, you know,
and it can't-- mmm. (Leona moaning) Man on TV: ...through
the theological formulation
of the Orthodox Church. man (on radio):
...currently in Miami
right now. Fair skies, 88 degrees.
89 on the beach. So this is Miami. It's supposed to be
this great town. You know,
they have recording studios and all the clubs,
you know, the lounges. If I can get a job in a lounge,
I mean, like, somebody might be coming through
and see me or something, and maybe get a deal. You know, I'm so completely
obsessed with being fat and with losing weight
that I have this feeling that if I ever succeed, I'm not gonna know what
to be obsessed with next. I succeeded once before. And I was real thin,
I weighed about 100 pounds. I was perfectly tan,
perfectly thin, my body was
absolutely perfect, and I realized
I had nothing more to do. I had really reached
what I wanted in life, so it started going away. There's companies--
record companies
right there in Miami. I can maybe make a deal with
a record company right there. I mean, who knows?
Do you know what I mean? I mean, this could be it. Moose, pull over here, will you? Pull over here,
will you, please? I can't believe it anyway,
you know, a sweet girl like you... doing what you did, I just can't understand it,
you know that? -Hmm?
-What do you mean? What I mean is
going to bed with Simon, that's what I mean. Well, you got me started. Somebody had to
get me finished. It was all that booze.
That's why I fell asleep. I swear to God. But you didn't have to
go to Simon. I had to find out
if Simon's all talk, and you know what? -You know what?
-Sid: What? (laughing)
Guess. -Sid:
I don't know. What?
-He's not. You're disgusting. Jesus. What happened? Did you--
did you spill it on him? -Leona:
What happened here?
-What happened here? -Are you happy?
-(laughing) What did you do?
What did you do? What happened over there? We're in Florida.
It's time to go swimming. I'm gonna miss you guys,
you know? I mean, all of you,
all four of you. I really... I love you,
do you know what I mean? I mean, I got real close
to all of you. It's like family,
you know what I mean? And I never
really had a family. Leona? Would you like
to have sex with me? -(laughs)
-Because-- shh. Because if you'd like to,
I'd like to have sex with you. We can talk
about it later,
all right? Okay? -Uh...
-We'll talk about it later. Shh. You're a very sweet girl, and I think I'm gonna
enjoy it a lot. (chuckles) I'd like to keep in touch
with you if we could. You know, I-I don't know where
you guys are gonna be. I love all of you, and-- Sid:
We love you too, Moose.
It's been wonderful, really. Okay? Okay. (uplifting instrumental
music playing) (man scatting) (indistinct chatter) Simon:
They didn't touch the tires.
They don't know where it is. Yeah, I'll have
another one. Two. -Same thing?
-Yeah. If they do know,
then I'll tell you right now, that it's all over for us. Because we're--
we're sitting ducks. You're right.
You're right. So they don't know,
and we gotta keep 'em
from knowing and we gotta keep 'em thinking that we're staying here
a long time and slip out. So you'll do your job, huh? You'll come with me, right? I'll come with you, but I'm not expert as you are
in marksmanship. I mean, that's your department,
that's why they hired you. This is not a joke.
You understand? -This is not a joke.
-Okay. I know.
I take it seriously. -Lenny, hi, babe, how are you?
-How are ya? Good to see ya. This is the kid I was
telling you about, Simon. -Simon, I heard
a lot about you.
-Simon, Lenny. -This is the guy
that made it happen.
-Yeah? And this is the guy
that got us the sea plane. Anything you need in Miami,
you come and see me. Because anything you need
you got it. Okay? He'll get you anything you want.
He'll get you a broad, anything. -Okay, okay.
-Good friends, all right? Been a friend a long time. I gotta go, so I'm gonna
catch you later, okay? Hey, listen,
nice to see ya. Don't think I don't appreciate
everything you did. -Give me a holler.
-Sure. -Okay. bye-bye.
-Thanks a lot. -Beautiful guy.
-Who's this guy? He's the guy who did everything.
He had the sea plane and made
the arrangements. What are you starting
in front of me, getting into discussion
about "made it possible"? What do you mean
by "made it possible"?
What have you told him? What, are you nuts? "This is the kid
who made it possible,"
you said about me. What does that mean?
What did I make possible? He knows you're in the deal.
Don't you understand that? What does he know
about the deal? He knows I made a ripoff,
we got some bread. Baby? I don't want any more
of these assignments, and I expect you
to take care of it so that I don't have to
do it anymore. (voice breaking)
I don't wanna be here.
I wanna go home with you now. Shh. Okay. -Oh.
-What's the matter? Aw, baby.
What are you doing? -(sobbing)
-Shh. This is just
one more day. You gotta finish this,
or they're gonna
get very mad. They're very
upset already. You know
what they're like
when they're upset. We don't
wanna take
any chances. I promise you. I promise you
this is the last one. I promise. Okay? I've never seen you
like this before. He doesn't know
where it is. Doesn't know?
Did you tell him-- He knows nothing
about it, okay? Hey, remember me? -Hey. Sure. Wonderful.
-Up there, Wilmington,
the Holiday Inn. -Great.
-By the way, I'm Gene. -You're Sidney, right?
-Right. How are you? -Simon?
-Yeah. I'm just playing
some more guitar
with Moose over here. What are you doing here
if you were in Wilmington? Moose told me you guys
were coming down here, we play together a lot,
and it sounded real good. So I thought,
"What the hell,
I'll go to Miami." Find out every piece
of information you can. Find out where
the money is tonight. -Don't just nod. Listen to me.
-I will. Find out where the money is, find out where
the plane is gonna land. You understand? You tell Leona that you're
gonna let her escape. You tell her that you're gonna
let her go with them. Do I have to kill Leona, too? Yes, you have
to kill Leona, too. Yes, you have to
kill Leona, too. Okay, I will. -Why do you ask me that?
-I will do it! Shut up. Why do you
even asking that? Because I've worked
with her a long time, and I've wondered
if what you've heard
about her is true. Of course it's true. We know these things. She hasn't done her job. -You're hurting me.
-I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's only that
I'm concerned for you. I don't want them
to take care of you. I don't want you to tell them
that I said this to you. I won't tell them anything.
Of course I won't. There's no choice.
You know them. You remember what
happened to Irene? They don't fuck around. So don't you fuck around,
okay, baby? -Okay.
-Okay, baby. I've missed you,
you know? -Have you?
-Uh-huh. Gene:
Where's he going? I don't know where
he's going but I know he laid a lot of bread
on the pilot, so he's probably gonna go
a long way from here. -Oh, yeah?
-Yeah. Where are
they picking him up? They are picking him up
on the West Coast on a beach called
Bonita Springs. I think that's
just north of Naples
and south of Fort Myers. Listen to me,
I can't cover
for you anymore. I don't know
what you're doing.
You're acting strange. You're getting involved
with this guy. I can't cover for you! Leona:
They care about us.
They care about us. They don't care about us.
You have to know that. You start thinking
they care about us, you're really gonna be
screwed up. Leona:
Jenny, do you
ever think about just what's gonna happen
when you die, do you? You don't have
to live forever.
You can die now. You could die right now.
You wanna die now? -No.
-(laughing) I know you wouldn't
let me die. Jenny: Are you becoming
emotionally involved
with this man? -You can tell me. Come on.
-Leona: No. No. I mean, I like him,
he kinda makes me laugh and he's kind of like
a very odd kind of character. I've never met anyone
like him before. Yeah, but I see something
happening with you two. I see a look in your eyes
that I haven't seen before. No, no. Listen, it seems
that they're getting a little bit not sure
about you specifically. -Leona: Of me?
-Jenny: Yes. Leona:
Did you tell them
how well I'm doing, that he's a very difficult
kind of character? Jenny:
I know you're
doing very well. Leona:
We've never had
a guy like that before. Jenny:
Look, look, look. Hello, Daddy.
This is Simon. I just didn't have a chance
to call for a few days. I've been busy, and I've had
a very irregular schedule. I just want
to explain to you that I've gotta go
out of town for a while. In fact, I have to go out
of the country for a few days. Jenny:
People are such idiots. You know that
enlightened people-- enlightened men know
that they're gonna die nine months
before they die. Enlightened men? Well, I hope
I'm never enlightened, 'cause I don't wanna know
when I'm gonna die. No? I just want it to
happen quick, no pain. Just go out.
Lights go out. Why don't you go back
to New York tonight? I have a funny
kind of premonition. I don't think
it's good for you
to be here. I don't know
if you believe
in premonitions. -Do you?
-Sometimes. Well, then go back
to New York tonight, okay? Want to come with me? No, I can't come with you,
but I want you to go back. I'm not going anywhere
without you. I want you to know that.
I told you that before. I really want you
to be happy. I'll give you
anything in the world, but you must come with me. I want you to know that.
Don't be afraid. Okay? Let me
see you smile. Smile, baby, please. -Bubblegum.
-Bubblegum? Jeez. I'll get you
bubblegum, too. I'll get you anything. Cracker Jacks? Tiny Tears? Poor Pitiful Pearl? Sid:
I'll get you
all of that. (laughs) Sid:
I wish that you were
always like this, you know? I love you. Daddy,
I don't have to report every little detail to you
like I'm a little boy. I'm calling you,
I do call you all the time. I didn't have a chance, I have a very good reason
why I'm going. Yeah, I'm supposed to be going. It's part of what I'm doing,
it's good for me to go, and I'll let you know
as soon as I come back. In any event I'll call you
in a couple of days wherever I am. Sid:
Not a big hotel,
mind you. Nothing really lavish
but something special. Something that you'll
enjoy in Costa... Bravo. -(laughing)
-Costa Sierra. Costa Novelle. Costa Bazoule. But you know
in Costa Bravo And it's the time
to say to you... (indistinct chatter) Simon:
Listen, I'm getting
nervous here because it's very loud
around here, we got loudmouth types,
and all the smoking. I've gotta go out
for a walk now. -All right. I'll go with you.
-No, no, no, I just-- -No.
-No, listen
to me a moment. I just have to go for a walk
for a little while. I'll be back. Just please
stay here. I gotta go. -You don't want
any company?
-No, no. I have to go for a walk,
and then I'll go up with you. Just wait here for me, please?
Please just stay here
and wait for me, okay? -Ah.
-And you, shut up. No talk.
Keep quiet. -Okay?
-Okay, okay. Bartender?
Bar-- bar lady? Bar lady? -Joannie.
-Joannie. Joannie. Joannie, could you
come over here a second? I just want
to give you this, because I have a lot of them,
I think you're so sweet, and I want you to buy
everybody in the whole bar a drink and tell 'em
it's from Sid. (ambient music playing) The clitoris is the only organ
that exists purely for pleasure and has no other function. The only physiological organ
that exists purely for pleasure
in any mammal. Why aren't you
getting undressed? I don't understand
why we're not sleeping
in the same bed. I wanna be with you. Do me a favor,
just stay over there. I wanna be with you. Please trust me. Please just stay there
just for tonight and get some rest now. I'm gonna fly with you in the most gorgeous plane
you ever saw. I have
my own plane,
you know. You have
a private plane? I have a beautiful plane. And you're flying tomorrow? No, we're flying
tomorrow. No, I'm not going. (chuckles) You gotta go. I like talking to you
in the dark. Makes me feel safe. We've got
a big day tomorrow. Everything depends
upon tomorrow. I feel safe
for the first time
in my life. With you. I feel very good
with you, too. I'm gonna
own Central America, then I'll be
in a position to negotiate
with the United States. I will be a world power. You are a world power,
you poor thing. Hot cereal was the only thing
I ever lied to my father about. He made me eat it
for breakfast, because he thought
it was healthy. It tasted
so disgusting to me,
I couldn't stand it. I flushed it down the toilet,
I couldn't tell it to him,
and I lied to him. I never lied to him
about anything big or small, I never lied to my father
about anything. Until now. ("Rock-a-bye Baby" chiming) I'll meet you
in Costa Rica, okay? Well-- well-- -Okay?
-Okay, but I wish-- Shh. (door opens, closes) You got the keys, Moose? I wanna tell you I wanna
thank you very much. You've been really beautiful
all the way. You did everything
you were supposed to do. -Here's your guitar.
-Thank you. Now I wanna
give you your bread. Okay. I owe you a thousand bucks,
is that right? Yeah. We're just gonna ride,
that's all. We're just gonna take
a little bit of a ride. One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten. That's the thousand
I owe you, right? Right. And here's a kiss goodbye
for you. One, two, three, four, five. I wanna I wish you
a lot of luck. -You've been fantastic.
-That's wonderful. Okay, you did
the right thing.
That's it. Good luck, go get 'em,
give 'em hell. And I know
you're gonna make it, 'cause you've
really been beautiful.
I appreciate it. Where would I write you
if I wanted to drop
you a line? You don't have
to write me, 'cause I'm gonna
tell you something. You're gonna be visible,
you're gonna be a big star, -and I'm gonna find you.
-Would you find me? -I haven't bullshitted
you yet, have I?
-No. -Everything I said came true?
-Everything. Well, you watch and see. One day you're gonna be
singing and swinging, and I'm gonna show up
and say, "Moose, hiya, Moose." I love you. Me too.
Take care of yourself. -Enjoy yourself.
-Okay. Go ahead and do it. Give 'em hell, man,
give 'em hell. Do you want the hat? -You keep the hat. Okay?
-Okay. -That's your hat. Remember--
-I love you. Thank you very much. Okay, see you later. -Where can I--
-Go get 'em. I can't write you anywhere? I'll be there,
just remember that. When you make it,
I'll be there. -Okay. Okay.
-Okay. -Go ahead.
Give 'em hell.
-Okay. -You got it. Go ahead.
-Okay. -Right. Bye-bye, pal.
-Okay. I have something
that is very difficult
for me to tell you, and I want you to
prepare yourself for this. It's very important
that you understand that what I'm going to tell you
is from the past. The guy kept asking me,
all the time, all he wanted to know was
where he could write to me. The man's a--
the man's a freak. This is what I do
for a living. I kill people. I kill people. All those questions,
"Where you going? How you feeling?
When are you gonna be there?" You kill people? I kill people. Right on time. Come on,
smooth baby, let's go. Is that something
to do with-- I make my living
by killing people. Is that something to do
with your being here? It has nothing to do
with my being here that you have to be
concerned about. I'm comin' home, Mama. The organization has
known about your plans
from the beginning, from the day
that you called off
the collections. They let you go through with it
because they couldn't believe that there was only
the two of you involved. The only thing no one discovered
was where the money is. I was assigned to find
the money you took and then to kill you. Jenny and I work together.
We're a team. We're hitwomen. The only way I will be free
of my other life is to go with you
to Costa Rica. Can I? Jenny will let us go. She'll blame it all on me
after we're gone. Can I come with you? Everything I said
came true, right? Everything I did, perfect. That's the way it works.
It works right for me. I remember dreaming
about far away places and I never
had the balls to say
maybe it could be me. (tires screech) Come on. Let's get the tires off
the car and ready for the plane. (jazz music playing) Simon:
We can't raise it
high enough. -We gotta back it up!
-At least get the tires off! No, no, no!
To get it off,
we gotta back it up. Get it outta here!
Go ahead. Push the thing, will ya? Simon:
Why did you drive
over the sand? Sid:
Push! I'm pushing, you ass,
but it's stuck here! There's the goddamn plane! Will you push
this son of a bitch! Push it! Push it! (engine revving) -Let's go!
-(man speaks indistinctly
on radio) Sid:
Push it! Simon:
Get out of here!
Get out! Sid:
What's she doing? For God's sake,
what is she doing? Simon, Sidney, behind me. (gun cocks) What's going on?
What are you doing? (gunfire) Okay, let's go. Sid:
I want that money! I want that money! I'm not gonna
leave without it! I want that money! (gunfire) The bastards.
I'll kill the bastards! I want my money! Simon: Get in that plane. -(gunfire)
-I want my money! (gunfire) Hey, pull him in!
Pull him in! Sid:
Those fuckin' thieves! -Simon: Let's go, let's go!
-Sid: They're all thieves. Simon:
What, are you crazy?
Stop fighting here. Sid:
I'll jump out
and kill the bastards! (gunfire) All that work for nothing. Oh, Jesus Christ. (gunfire continues) Simon:
I got the money. Sid:
What do you mean
you got the money? Simon:
I've got it! I've got it!
I got the money. -Sid: You got the money?
-Simon: I got the money. -Sid: Where?
-Simon: Right on me. I got the money!
I got it! How do you like that? -Sid: You son of a bitch!
-(women cheering) Simon:
I didn't trust
the situation. Too many things
were going wrong. You were shooting off
your loud mouth,
getting drunk at the bar, everything else that happened,
I left at that time-- What do you think
I did when I left? I'm sorry, that's why I couldn't
be with you last night. Sid:
We're rich! Look at us! Oh, I don't believe it! -Mwah! (laughs)
-Ugh! Give me a kiss! -(screaming)
-(laughing) Sid:
And you know
because of you we're rich! Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Oh, we're rich! -Yay!
-Wait a minute. I'm the one who's rich
or at least reasonably well off. You haven't got a cent. Those were my two back tires.
I wouldn't take your tires. You didn't take
all the money? No, I took
my two back tires. You didn't take all the money? I took my two back tires. What, are you crazy? Why didn't you
take all the money? How could I take your money? -I wouldn't take your money.
-This is our money. I took my two back tires,
but don't worry. I'll help you, I'll support you,
I'll give you $150 a week. No limousines for you. I'm gonna take
this $375,000, I'm gonna make it
$375 million! I'm gonna make you
so goddamn rich! Stay with me! I'm gonna change your life.
Believe me. You give me that money, and you'll never have
another worry again! -(jazz music plays)
-Man: Oh yeah (man scatting) Just like a breeze
blowing your hair Flying you this way,
set you down there I ain't got a worry,
I ain't got a care Oh yeah (scatting) Just like a pair
of sitting ducks in the air Flying away
from the duck hunter's snare I ain't gonna worry,
and I ain't gonna care Oh yeah (scatting) (music fading)