Sitting in Bars with Cake (2023) Movie Script

1
Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne,
Corinne, Corinne, Corinne, Corinne,
Corinne, Corinne.
Yeah, that's right.
Congratulations, Thompson.
- You win.
- Mm-hmm.
You guys, you guys remember Jane.
- I work in the mail room.
- Works in the mail room.
My best friend since
we were, like, seven. -Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Wait, didn't you make
those blueberry biscuits
for the company picnic?
- Yes. Yes.
- That... Yeah.
They were technically popovers,
but, yeah, that was me.
Girl, I need that recipe.
I'd be so happy to give it to you,
anytime.
I mean, honestly, the biggest takeaway
is that you can use a muffin pan,
that's what I use, but...
if you're really serious
in the popover game,
then the popover pan
can really do some damage.
It helps the batter climb better.
- Brap! Brap! Green tea shots!
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Let's go.
- Yeah, you know what?
- Come on.
- Thank you so much, but no, thanks.
- Cheers.
I don't want to take your alcohol
'cause I'm gonna go.
- Antioxidants. It's green tea.
- What? Why?
- Where are you going?
- Come on, I put my time in.
- I'm going home.
- But you haven't even talked to Owen yet,
- and he's standing right behind you.
- Yeah, sure, I haven't.
He's right there.
He's literally waiting for you
to come over to him.
- I know, I know, I know, but...
- Why do you always do this?
- Come on, I really should study.
- Why?
- Boo!
- Jesus. Stop.
I'll take this beautiful girl home.
- Hi, baby.
- Oh, my God.
- Hi, Dave.
- You guys are gross.
- I'll see you guys at home. Bye.
- Later.
- Bye, I guess. Bye.
- Bye.
- Oh.
- Hey, no.
I won that fair and square.
This is Fresh Air.
I'm Terry Gross.
It seems like just about everyone can
remember a time in their life,
or many times,
when they wrestled with anxiety.
My guest struggled with it for years.
Antianxiety medication was helpful,
but he still felt like anxiety
was holding him back.
Study break.
- Let's get into it.
- Found a way of channeling his anxiety
into punk rock and political activism.
All right, so, uh, let's get to this,
um, hot milk cake.
Hot milk cake.
Um, I don't really love
it just being vanilla,
so we're gonna kind of break the rules...
Summertime under the neon lights
Buy me a six string,
a burger and fries
Cruisin' around in your drop-top ride
Call it city living
Wintertime under the harvest moon
Newborn baby and my skin's so smooth
I haven't seen you and I don't care to
Rehabilitation is
So sugary sweet
So hard to beat
Getting back up on my feet
Sweet as candy
It's hard to believe that we've been
together for so long
Holding my breath till the color
in my skin was gone
Convince me, baby,
we will never find a love this strong...
That song's giving me a headache.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I thought you were studying for the LSAT.
Oh, I was.
It's just, I finished my seventh
logic game, so now I'm done.
Come on.
Corinne.
Please, sir.
I just... You can have that tiny taste,
but I don't want you to get E. coli
before your birthday.
Jane, no one gets E. coli.
That's what they'd like you to think,
but I was listening to
this Terry Gross interview
with the guy from Americares,
and they're saying it's exactly
that dangerous thinking
- is why there's an E. coli spike.
- Oh, my God. Jane.
Sometimes I hear Terry's voice
and I think it's our other roommate.
She'd be a wonderful roommate.
One that pays rent on time.
Babe, I found, I found the guy
with the pet lizard on TikTok.
Excuse me? I pay my rent on time.
At 11:59.
And Dave is our third roommate.
That is on time.
- It was really good, by the way.
- Thanks.
Cock-a-doodle-do.
- Cock-a-doodle-do, Dave.
- Good morning.
Good morning.
Davey. My head hurts.
Can you bring me some crunchies?
Pretty good.
Thanks.
Quality feedback.
What's up, Jane?
Sunshine. Happy birthday.
- Another day in music industry paradise.
- Uh-huh.
Hey, um, you and I both know
how this is gonna go down, right?
You're gonna give all your golden ideas
to Benita,
and then you'll find them in the garbage
covered in keto dressing and contempt.
Oh, I really don't think so.
I think that she will be doing
one of my tour collabs one day,
and you will see that I am going
to get promoted to junior agent first.
Mm, yeah, and my grandma is gonna be
on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
There she is. Speak of the devil.
Have a nice day.
- Bye-bye, sunshine. Jinx.
- Bye-bye, sunshine. Jinx.
Good morning, Ms. Bergstein.
I'm sorry. Who are you again?
- I'm Tessa. I'm temping for Jo.
- Oh.
- She's having a nervous breakdown.
- Mm.
Oh, these things came up for you.
Hi. I...
I thought you had...
I thought you had breakfast with Ariana.
We did spin class at 5:00 a.m. instead.
My God, my glutes are going to be on fire
for the rest of the week.
Which reminds me.
Have someone assemble that-that,
that rowing machine the label sent over.
- Okay.
- Maybe the kid with the small hands.
Okay, um...
Um, the partners confirmed for 10:00 a.m.,
and then you also have lunch
with Capitol's publicity department,
and Bad Bunny's team is coming at 3:00.
They want to discuss concert season.
I read that-that deal memo you sent
for Cardi B.
The one about the-the CBD bubble bath
they want her to promote.
- Yeah.
- Ah, so, Thompson, what do you think?
- I think it feels pretty on-brand.
- Ah.
It's...
different than cosmetics,
but it still falls into
that luxury sector.
You know, maybe she could drop it
with an album.
I think it's the perfect opportunity.
For people to associate her
with yeast infections,
animal testing and maybe dry rash?
Come on, Thompson, use your head.
Or maybe your nose.
Can't you smell it? It stinks.
You tell Tad that if he sends one more
pitch like that for any of my clients,
he's going to find himself
at the bottom of my koi pond.
When did you get a, a koi pond?
Dismissed.
Hi there.
Oh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
Ooh, hi.
You must be the mail fairy.
Sorry, what?
I've always wondered
who delivers the mail.
But it's like you're actually waiting
for me to leave before doing it.
Oh. Uh, that's... not what's happening.
Okay. Well, I'll see you around, I guess.
All right. Have a good weekend.
It's Tuesday.
Yeah, I know. I know.
I know.
Okay, so you don't have to sing.
Oh, come on. I'll sing with you.
Come on, I'll sing with you.
You think they'll give me a free drink
for my birthday?
March 7, baby.
Hey, Janie, did you make this cake?
Yeah. Yeah, no, I baked it last night.
Come on, Jane, you'll do great.
It's her birthday.
- It's my birthday.
- Have a nice night.
March 7, everyone. It's my birthday.
How's auditioning going?
- What?
- How's auditioning going?
Oh, my God, so well.
It's like, like insane.
I feel so inspired right now.
Like I could just, like, go out
for a series regular role or something.
- Wait, I know those people.
- Love me forever, never stop
- I'll be right back. Yo!
- Near and far
And always and everywhere and every
Say you'll love, love me forever,
never stop...
Hi.
Could I have a gin and tonic?
What kind of gin you want?
I would do St-Germain gin.
That's not gin. Like, not even close.
Dealer's choice. I do St-Germain...
I do a little vodka.
- A little whiskey.
- Jitterbug
You could even pour all three in.
I don't know if you guys do that.
- I got ya.
- I just want some alcohol.
Jitterbug
You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky-high
when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang-bang-bang
till my feet do the same...
What's that you got there?
Oh, uh, a birthday cake.
- Your birthday?
- No, my friend's.
My best friend told me
what you did last night...
Did you make it?
Mm-hmm.
- You made that?
- Sure did.
Can we see what's underneath?
- Wake me up
- Yeah.
Before you go-go,
don't leave me hanging...
Oh, wow.
That's awesome.
- Wow.
- Corinne... that's Corinne.
Fun fact:
I actually substituted sour cream
and pudding mix
to make the cake more moist.
You can put sour cream in a cake?
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, what the heck?
- Go-go
- JANE: It's baffling, right?
Not just for tacos.
So weird.
What's that stuff around the sides?
That's Cocoa Krispies cereal.
- Oh, that looks so awesome.
- Hit that high...
That wasn't even in the recipe.
I just freestyled that.
Are you one of those celebrity chefs?
Oh, no, I'm from Phoenix.
I deliver mail.
You're a mailman?
- Jane.
- Yeah?
Cut the cake.
No. Oh, my...
No, that's for your birthday dinner.
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
I don't care.
- Cut it. Cut it, cut it, cut it.
- What are we going to eat at dessert time?
All right, let's cut the cake.
Do you want some?
I-I could cut the cake.
I'm good at knives.
No, that's okay. We got it.
- Do you have a knife?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure or just...
- Yes.
My hands are clean, so don't worry.
Here, you know what...
- There you go.
- Yum.
Mm-hmm.
That's for you.
Thank you.
- Oh, wow.
- Mmm!
This is like if a chocolate pudding man
and an English toffee lady
were making love inside my mouth.
- Thank you.
- It's so good.
I love this cake,
I love this girl and I love sour cream.
Guys want cake?!
Cake! Cake! Cake!
Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
I will convince Benita to order the Wagyu.
What are those things with, like
the cream cheese? What are those called?
Wait, actually, what about some egg rolls?
No, I can't do concert tickets to Rihanna
for spicy crab.
Wait-wait-wait. Could you throw in
a couple edamame, no salt?
- I'm watching my sodium.
- Um...
If an extra Wagyu seems to fall into
the bag, I can do seats to Beck.
Okay.
Which one of you sent my niece
a blood diamond for her bat mitzvah?
- Are you crazy?
- Hiroshi, I'm gonna have to call you back.
Didn't you see the movie? I...
I took out the gardenias.
I just worked really hard
on that tour idea, you know?
- Yeah.
- But there's no way.
It was a great pitch you put together.
Sorry that Benita didn't say anything
about your deck. That's why...
Oh, it's fine.
Have you talked to Owen again?
No, but maybe it is for the best, though.
- Eh.
- 'Cause he could secretly be a jerk,
like, not do carbs.
That'd be such a deal-breaker for me.
- Not be into carbs?
- Yeah.
No, thank you.
Oh, speaking of carbs, that reminds me.
- I've thought about this cake thing...
- Yeah.
And you're gonna start doing it.
- Um...
- On the regular.
Bringing cakes into bars?
Yeah.
I've actually been thinking about it
a lot, and it's a really good idea.
Yeah, 'cause that won't be weird,
sitting in bars with cake.
- Jane?
- Huh?
It's Los Angeles, okay?
Everyone here is weird.
Sure, but...
sounds like you want me to bait guys
with sugar. -Mm-hmm.
Yeah. It's an aphrodisiac.
- Do you hear yourself?
- What?
That sounds like a great way
to get featured on
the To Catch a Predator reboot.
Does not sound like a great way
to boost my law school extracurriculars.
And I get that, I do,
but don't you want to go to grad school
feeling super confident?
Do you not remember how good you felt
the other night?
All those guys laughing at your jokes
about convection ovens?
See, I don't even,
I don't even know what that is.
I don't think that they knew
what that was.
What are you talking about?
They were laughing because
it was a good joke.
I was talking about how convection ovens
distribute heat differently...
Oh! That's really funny.
That is really funny.
You do this, you will meet all sorts
of guys, all over the city, okay?
Think about it as your on-ramp to...
testing out different flavors
and figuring out what you like
and what you don't like.
- Are you being serious?
- Mm-hmm.
You're doing it.
If you do it with me.
Yes, I'm doing it with you.
Duh.
Do I ever turn down baked goods?
- You do love you some baked goods.
- Mm-hmm.
God, I have a headache. Geez.
Well, aspirin is in the medicine cabinet,
- behind the Q-tips.
- All right.
- Bottom right.
- Thank you.
I really don't think I could exist
without you.
I'm glad we're on the same page
about that. -Mm-hmm.
Thank God you moved to L.A. with me.
We gonna get out the house
Like so, like that
All right, L.A.
Better get ready.
Let's get this bag
If you're with me, then shout
Let's get it movin' right now...
- Here?
- Yes.
- Okay, actors.
- Of course. Yes.
Paramount Studios.
Independently wealthy artists.
- Downtown.
- Yes.
Dudes with start-ups.
Thank you.
Hipster nerds. Okay, I have a sense
hipster nerds would be...
- Here. Silver Lake.
- Okay.
- Surfers.
- Yeah.
What we're really looking for
is bars with a lot of seating,
preferably low on bouge.
Okay, we have to go to Tiki Tuesday's.
- Yes.
- Ooh, Vibrato Grill Jazz.
- Oh, the Frolic Room.
- That's a must.
Guys, we also got to go
to Clifton's Cafeteria.
The place with the dioramas.
- Ooh, the Gaslite.
- Okay, then we gotta go...
Oh, my God, Mucha Lucha.
Mucha Lucha.
The one with the Mexican wrestling masks.
Yes, yes.
I have not been there in so long.
I love that place so much.
What about the Fox and Hounds?
Wait, wait, wait,
the Golden Gopher. Golden Gopher. Yes.
Hang on, hang on,
can we just real quick...
- Um, guys, guys.
- Yeah. -What?
Listen, can we just make some space
to acknowledge the fact
that at the center of Jane's project
is a woman-positive message
about self-empowerment?
Oh, my God.
Okay, Gloria Steinem.
- There we go.
- Boom.
What?
We've never had a handshake.
- Na, na, na
- Get up.
There's something about your going-out
clothes that says church to me.
It's not churchy. It's understated.
Mmm.
Wait, is...
Is this my mom's?
She was gonna give it away.
Okay.
Mm...
No.
Ooh.
Ooh!
Jane.
Ooh, what? That is a slip that goes under
my scratchy sweater dresses.
This would look so good on you
with those boots
and, like, a black jack...
- My black jacket.
- I'm just...
The fluffy one.
You know exactly the one
I'm talking about.
You're wearing it.
Corinne, I'm not a slip girl.
My general rule of thumb:
if it works for Mister Rogers,
it works for me.
That's a terrible rule of thumb.
Some guys put, put those things
in the back of their shoes.
They do. So that they can look taller.
When it feels this good...
All right, cake number one, people.
All right. Whoo-hoo.
Let's spread out and find some dudes
with loud shirts and ironic facial hair.
All right, break.
No. Cake.
Yes! Cake.
Makes you wanna go
na, na, na-na-na-na-na
Ooh.
Na, na, na-na-na
Oh.
Put your hands together now
Shh, shh, don't talk.
- Everybody now
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hey.
We were wondering if you wanted
to come back to the...
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, bro.
When it feels this good...
Mm, mm, mm.
Can we please go home
and just try again next weekend?
- No.
- No. Absolutely not.
No, we have a whole cake.
I'm sure a million guys in L.A.
want to eat this damn thing.
Okay, sure, but where are they?
Let's do this.
- Uh, they're right there.
- Whoa.
That is a bus full of boys.
Oh, my God.
They're yelling. Oh, my God.
Okay, go. Take it to the dudes.
Hi, guys. Hi, everybody.
I was just wondering
if anyone wants some cake.
What the hell is happening?!
I could get rebraids more often.
I-I wonder if I've had it before.
It's been working.
Hi.
- How are you?
- Hi.
Um, mm...
I'd like to order
pork dumplings and
shrimp rice noodle rolls.
Cantonese, hon. Not Mandarin.
Oh! My apologies.
Steamed shrimp dumplings
Shui-Mai
Sticky rice wrap.
Let's go crazy!
Girls?
I'll have the kung pao chicken, please.
And I'll do the same, please. Thank you.
So, how's the conference going?
It's been so fantastic
to connect with other lawyers
pushing the human rights agenda.
Oh, the food here leaves Phoenix
in the dust.
Your dad was a big deal this year.
He was a keynote speaker yesterday.
- What?
- Talking about immigration reform
and how to fix the visa process.
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
Well, thank you, thank you.
Well, yeah, Tasha and I,
we're trying to do our part.
Just like Jane will.
Although she's so meticulous,
she will probably end up in property law.
Okay, here we go again
with the property law.
Oh, that... Is that a joke?
That's a joke.
When do you take the LSAT, honey?
I want to sit down in August
for a full practice test,
and then study a little longer,
take it twice.
That reminds me.
I called the dean at UC Irvine,
- just to mention you might be applying.
- Thank you.
They have a wonderful program.
Yeah, I feel like I'll be applying
to all the UCs.
Huh. I didn't realize
you were so into hot sauce.
Hey, you want some? You want some cake?
Homemade.
Enjoy.
Single lady.
She's single, she's a baker. She made it.
She's a National Merit Scholar.
Enjoy.
The eye patch guy is looking at you.
Eye patch guy?
- Yeah, the eye patch guy.
- Eye patch guy?
- No.
- Oh.
The eye patch guy.
Oh, the eye patch guy.
Go, go, you have a mission.
Yeah.
Hi.
Oh, hey.
This is a spiced rum spice cake...
that I made.
Okay, Betty Crocker, let's see.
Mmm.
Mmm! Mmm.
Okay, you do this as a cupcake,
throw some chopped pecans on top,
you got a perfect dessert.
You're speaking my language.
You know, I really don't make cupcakes.
- Oh, you don't?
- No.
- I just did some with buttercream.
- Yeah?
Yeah. You got to pipe it
with just the right tip.
How do I know if I have the right one?
- I'll take a picture when I get home.
- Yeah?
Yeah, uh, what's your number?
- Oh, I'll-I'll give it to you.
- Yeah, just put it in here.
- Okay.
- National Merit Scholar?
- Yeah.
- Tell me about that SAT score.
So, if we make one cake a week
for a year, count that as 50 cakes
just knowing that we'll probably take
a break for Thanksgiving
and Christmas.
- You have to...
- Ooh.
Add a column for results.
- Results?
- Yeah, results.
Like, "Cake was eaten,"
"Cake wasn't eaten"?
No.
No, like, um, like results.
Like kissing...
- Oh.
- Flirting,
- touching, getting handsy in cars.
- Oh.
Like the real results.
- The ones that we're looking for.
- Oh, it's eye patch guy.
- What? He texted you?
- Yeah, he texted me.
Oh, my God, what did he say?
What did he say? Open it.
It's invisible ink.
You have to go like that.
Oh.
It's a dick pic.
It's your first result.
Do you think the recipe is under there?
I don't think the recipe's...
He told me he'd send just the right tip...
Oh, I hear it.
I hear it.
That's on me.
"Just the right tip."
Here we go
One, two, whatcha gonna do?
Three, four, give me some more
Five, six, just for kicks...
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi. -Hi.
- Hello.
Do you guys just make cakes
and bring them to bars, or what?
Who would do that?
My God.
Can you feel that rhythm
underneath your shoes?
- It's all about style
- Mmm!
And the way you move
Got the vibe on lock
and we're ready to roll
Come on, show us what you got
'cause we're good to go
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, we're good to go
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
We're good to go...
Well, you're supposed to be passing out
the cake.
- I was.
- Oh, look at her go.
Does anyone want some free cake?
- It's free...
- Right here.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah,
and we do it so naturally, hey
Can you feel that rhythm
underneath your shoes?
It's all about style
and the way you move
Got the vibe on lock
and we're ready to roll
Come on, show us what you got
'cause we're good to go
Right, left, on to the next
Front, back, yeah, we do it like that
Right side up and upside down
Everybody's body's rocking
to beat right now, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Yeah, we're like nothing
that you've ever seen
Ooh, and we do it so naturally
Can you feel that rhythm
underneath your shoes?
It's all about style
and the way you move
Got the vibe on lock
and we're ready to roll
Come on, show us what you got
'cause we're good to go
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Yeah, we're good to go
- Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
- Come on
Good to go
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Yeah, we're good to go
Good to go
Yeah, we're good to go
Show us what you got, good to...
When you're done channeling
the Hadid sisters,
get to my office, Thompson.
Carry this.
- So...
- You need a...
- Um...
- Thompson, you're driving me nuts,
but I'm bumping you up to junior agent.
What?
Shut up. Are you serious?
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Please, please don't get
all snively on me.
Oh, my God, I'm s...
I'm gonna give you
a lot of responsibility,
and plus you'll be making twice as much
as Mr. I Went To Yale out there,
so don't make me regret this, Thompson.
No, no, no.
Absolutely not.
No, you will not regret this.
Give me all the work.
Anything, anything you want me to do,
I'll do it, I love it, I need it.
- Can I hug you?
- No.
No.
No, it was always 7:00.
Okay, well, are you sure, 'cause I...
- Yeah.
- Really, I-I...
- You suck, Dave!
- Jesus! Brock.
- Good night. -Bye.
- What? See ya.
What the hell was that?
Yeah, it was Brock from the office.
Well, at least he showed up
to celebrate my promotion.
You know how important this is to me.
Yeah, I mean, it's like I told him 7:00
so many times.
- Like, he, he always does this to me.
- Mm-hmm.
It's like, get with the program, dude,
you're an adult.
Yeah, but as long as we've known Dave,
he is always late.
It's kind of his thing.
I don't... I don't like
that it's his thing.
It's rude. It's so rude.
It is.
God.
Do we have anything stronger than aspirin?
It's like it's not even working anymore.
Ibuprofen and naproxen also work for this,
so I could run to the store and grab that.
Oh, along with your MiraLAX
for your bathroom issues.
I know I'm old enough
to get over saying "poop."
For your poop issues.
I'll go to the store and be like,
"Hey, you got any poop juice?"
to really challenge myself.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Corinne.
Corinne!
Okay, I really feel like
we should call your parents.
No, dude, I'm probably just dehydrated.
Okay, Corinne, you don't have a seizure
because you're just dehydrated,
so I'm gonna give them a call.
Hey, Miss Thompson.
Your CT scan is showing a large amount
of inflammation on the frontal lobe.
You've been having headaches?
Yes, she has.
And you haven't talked to a doctor
about them, right?
No, I just thought they were headaches.
Okay, you'll have to stop driving.
No more bathing or swimming alone,
'cause you could have another seizure.
I'm gonna give you a referral
to neurology.
And, fortunately, we have a very strong
oncology department.
Wait, what? Whoa, whoa.
Wh-What, I'm sorry.
- What?
- What's happening?
Get real.
That doesn't make any sense.
I deal with deductibles for a living,
so you're gonna need to transfer me
to somebody
- who knows what they're talking about.
- Honey, do you happen to have my fly tool?
My daughter's brain is getting biopsied
as we speak.
No, I will not hold.
Oh. Okay.
I'll hold.
Your incision is looking great.
Inflammation has gone down.
Great.
You are going to heal in no time.
Yay.
Thank you.
You can see the mass here.
Based on its location
and the biopsy report,
we would treat this cancer with
a combination of chemo and radiation.
Since Corinne is young
and otherwise very healthy,
we expect her to do quite well.
- Is it too late for Make-A-Wish?
- Hey.
- Should I start working on a bucket list?
- Corinne.
Our goal is to stop the tumor
from growing,
or even better, shrink.
We maintain things from there.
So more battle scars.
It depends on a number of factors.
Let's focus on the now.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Lunch?
- Um...
- Dad, it's fine.
No, it's not fine.
- But it is fine.
- It's not fine.
- Okay.
- Anybody need gum?
We're, we're about to eat food.
I'll take a piece.
Thank you.
Okay, um,
do you want to go halfsies with me?
I'll get the, um, chicken tenders,
you want the fettuccine Alfredo?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
I'm gonna get my own onion rings,
though, 'cause I'm trying for a carb coma.
- Uh, wings are back at the hot bar.
- Yeah.
Really?
You want to get hot wings instead?
- Oh, um...
- I'll do a hot wing.
It's Ray, with the Jeep.
He wants to know if we can squeeze him in
for a dent this week.
He says you're the only one
he wants touching it.
All right, well, I think we should
take Corinne back with us.
- What?
- Fred, we just sat down.
Let them at least get some wings in.
You don't think we're gonna just
leave you here, do you?
Well, yeah, because I'm-I'm 24 years old.
I'm not, I'm not 12.
We have very good hospitals
in Phoenix, okay?
We've got a Mayo Clinic,
and I'm sure we can get you set up there.
Dad, this is where celebrities come
to get chemo.
Okay?
Sheryl Crow, Melissa Etheridge,
Sharon Osbourne.
- Sharon Osbourne?
- Mm-hmm.
The doctor that we met with,
she's a really big deal.
I'm sure she's perfectly qualified, but
if you're at home... -She is perfectly...
then your mother and I
can help you stay on top of this.
She'd have to quit her job.
Thank you.
- I thought her job was the pits.
- It is the pits,
but it's about to finally get good.
I just got promoted.
- Congratulations.
- Did you know that?
You know I've always wanted this.
Mom.
Look, we just want to do what's best here.
- Yeah.
- Okay?
If we leave you on your own, we can't...
- But she won't be on her own.
- Yeah.
Anything that she needs, I can handle it.
I can make sure that she gets
to all of her appointments
and takes the right pills
and gets rest and all of those things.
Jane, that's really sweet,
but this is going to be a lot.
No, Jane is, Jane is actually meant
- for this exact kind of situation.
- Yeah.
You guys would be leaving me
with a soccer mom.
A carpool-driving, lunch-making,
KCRW-subscribing,
PTA president,
homeowners' association soccer mom.
- I love KCRW.
- She's crazy. Yeah.
How about we stay until you get situated?
Why?
So that we know you're situated.
No, I think that's... that's okay.
- I insist.
- No, I...
It's a small apartment.
- It'll be fine.
- No, it-it won't be fine.
You're gonna be trying to fix the wall
at, like, 3:00 in the morning,
and interrupt my getting betterness.
What's wrong with the wall?
I thought the landlord was gonna
repaint these walls.
I'll, uh, hit Benjamin Moore tomorrow,
grab a swatch book.
Did you move my wire cutters?
No, but if you find them,
could you please cut your toenails?
How long were you gonna
let them get, Fred?
I don't know.
Let's give it another week and see.
I'm just afraid you're gonna
velociraptor me in your sleep.
What does that mean?
- I don't want to know.
- Girls.
Did one of you move my wire cutters?
- Oh.
- Oh.
Oh, never mind. I got 'em.
Oh, my God.
We've become a sitcom.
Mm-hmm.
Are you doing okay?
It's such a weird question, I guess.
As okay as possible?
Mm...
I don't know.
This is all really weird.
Yeah.
Yeah, it really is.
- Hey, if I don't make it...
- Hmm?
Will you make sure...
that Lady Gaga starts an orphanage
in my name?
Like... the House for Little Monsters?
Yes.
I'll look into it.
I knew I could count on you.
Always.
Hey.
Uh, for that machine, it's kind of funny.
You actually have to press down
on the top really hard
and the thing that looks like a handle
actually has to close all the way.
Yep. Yeah.
Is this frou-frou coffee all you have?
'Cause usually I drink the instant stuff.
Right. You know what?
I actually think we kept your jar
from last time.
Just hold on.
- Hey, there she is.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Thank you.
- Yeah.
Oh, I, uh, I noticed that, uh,
there's a scratch on your passenger door.
I'll pull the paint code,
get some sandpaper,
we'll get that taken care of tomorrow.
Oh, my God, Fred, that is so nice,
but I really don't want you to have
to worry about all that
- 'cause I can run...
- Oh, no, no. Janie, Janie, Janie.
Some crook out here is gonna charge you
an arm and a leg for it
and do a half-assed job...
There's my receptacle tester.
Wh-What is this?
I've been baking a lot of cakes.
Yeah.
Okay.
And taking them to bars.
Because...?
Kind of as a way to meet guys.
But it's not like that, I promise.
"Redwood, spiced rum, dick pic."
Uh-huh.
Ruthie, do you have plumber's tape?
No, that's the... That'll work.
When I'm done with this,
I'm taking this thing home
and I'm hanging it up like my trophy.
Only you would want to keep
your radiation mask.
What? Are you kidding me?
Who wouldn't want to keep
their cancer mask?
Oh, Friday night,
I really want to do, like,
a pia colada coconut cake,
like a giant coconut.
Can you make that?
Yeah, I could, but do you really think
that we should be in bars until 3:00 a.m.
- and eating frosting for dinner?
- Uh!
- Excuse me.
- No, I'm being serious.
Are you trying to crush my soul?
If the Lady Gaga thing didn't happen,
it wouldn't kill me, but this would.
You want... Do you want me to die?
That's so inappropriate.
Do you want me to die?
- Shh, shh, Corinne.
- My God.
I just think your-your treatment
should take priority.
Girl, if I don't have a distraction,
I will literally lose my mind.
I feel like there are just other ways
that you could be distracted.
There are so many card games
that we have at home.
- Jane...
- I really want to take up...
Jane, you said anything I need.
I need this.
Okay.
Thank you.
And I thought of a name.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Cakebarring.
- Creative.
- Thank you.
Let's have a luau, a luau, a luau
Let's have a luau...
Thank you so much, Nora,
for printing out the hard copies.
So, if you look at the schedule,
I divided it up
so that one of us can be with Corinne
at every appointment.
There's also an alternate listed...
Thank you...
And there are alternates
to the alternates,
- just in case.
- Yeah.
Uh, what do we do if you have a seizure?
Do we just call 911?
- Uh, Liz.
- I'm asking.
It actually depends on how long
the seizure lasts.
- Right?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
I notice that this is super
Western medicine heavy,
and I just feel like it's worth discussing
other modalities of-of healing,
like Reiki, chakra cleansing,
meridian realignment.
Redirect: Look at this cake.
Let's not forget why we're here,
ladies, okay?
We're here to scout.
Um, I don't want to freak you all out,
but, um,
some old guy keeps staring at us.
Hmm? Where?
Yeah, nine o'clock. Sad eyes.
You'll love a luau, a luau, a luau...
That's-that's my dad.
The party
Of the year.
Well, it has been really great
having you guys here...
Yeah, this is getting out of hand.
It's just more so that we feel like
we're ready to be on our own.
No.
No, no.
I-I haven't even fixed the shower yet
'cause Lowe's didn't have
the right color grout.
I gotta do the-the dryer vent.
That's a fire waiting to hap...
I got a whole list.
I think you're losing it.
I'm losing it?
I'm not the one up at 4:00 a.m. making
spaghetti sauce and doing the Wordle.
You know if I miss a day,
my streak goes back to zero.
Not at 4:00 a.m. it doesn't.
It doesn't reset till midnight.
You got the whole goddamn day.
We can't stay here forever.
Okay, fine, go back.
You can tend to the shop,
and I'll-I'll stay here
and take care of things.
I can't fix the cars, Fred.
Besides, what more can you do here,
besides personally supervise
her radiation treatment?
We know everyone at the hospital,
we figured out the insurance,
and I've filled their freezer
with more lasagna
than they're ever gonna want to eat.
Not possible. I love your lasagna.
Thanks, Jane, but get real.
You girls are gonna need more than dinner.
You guys taught me how to take care
of my business, okay?
This is me doing that.
Let me be an adult.
Yeah, we'll be okay.
I promise. And you guys can drive
from Phoenix whenever you want.
My room will always be available to you.
I'm just not ready to leave you, Corky.
Yeah, I know, but...
for the sake of our relationship,
I can't, I can't see
your bare feet anymore.
Okay, um, pasta salad's in the fridge.
The pharmacy's supposed to call Monday
about Corinne's Temodal.
Got it, got it. Thank you, Ruth.
And I will follow up with you
when I hear from them.
- Okay, thanks, Janie.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you have WD-40?
- Yeah, we're good.
- Yes, we're good.
We have enough for the whole building.
-Um, for your headaches.
- What?
Mother!
Just be careful. It's seven parts THC.
Oh, my God.
Love you, hon.
- I love you.
- Thank you for everything.
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Jane.
Thank you.
Let go. My God.
For you.
Fred, your trail mix and Mountain Dew's
in the back seat.
Thanks for getting us situated.
Bye.
Don't toss my coffee, Janie.
I won't touch it.
Move along.
Thanks for the weed!
Love you.
- Bye.
- Oh, and I'll keep you guys updated
- in our group chat.
- Go!
See you in the fall.
Whoo!
Freedom!
Oh, my God. Sorry.
Oh, God. Sorry.
I just cannot believe that your
parents went to a dispensary for you.
Dude, this is... this is cherry flavored.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I have such a good idea.
Summer is not over yet.
You don't want any more?
I don't think I should have any more.
I'm so high.
Mm, hey, you want some cake?
Full disclosure, it has THC and CBD in it.
Some of us are having
a stronger reaction than the others.
Maybe after my shift.
Just so you know, the frosting,
it tastes like a cherry Icee, or, um...
oh, it tastes like baby toothpaste.
No, no, no, without the fluoride.
You know.
It's getting late.
I'm gonna call us a car, yeah?
What? Where are you going?
- I'm gonna call us a car. It's late.
- No.
And look, look at her.
- I'll be back.
- Okay.
- Okay, we got to go.
- I've never been so relaxed in my life.
I just, I feel like I'm in a bathtub
and it smells like rain.
I have to go to the bathroom.
- Goodbye. Goodbye.
- Wait, wait, Dave's getting a car.
- Hey.
- Oh, my God.
Hi.
Hi. My friend's going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna...
Yeah, you have really beautiful eyes.
Oh. Thank you.
Can I, um, can I buy you a drink?
No, thank you.
Come on, just like one drink, huh?
- Oh, no, thank you.
- Come on, for me, for me, for me?
No, thank you.
- You're playing hard to get, huh?
- No, I'm really high,
- and I don't want a drink.
- Okay, yeah.
- Just no, thank you.
- But...
- I just said it, like, five times.
- Okay, okay. Okay, I get it.
Okay, you don't have to be
a bitch about it.
- Okay?
- I'm...
What'd you just say to my friend?
I said she doesn't have to be such a...
Shh...
That's enough from you.
Say that, say, "That's enough from me."
That's enough from me.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
You know, actually, this is really good.
I know.
But y'all are assholes.
What the hell?
- Corinne.
- Yeah.
You're not a bitch.
I know I'm not a bitch.
Good, good.
Don't let me have any more cake.
Jane, this cake is so good.
- Can I have seconds?
- No.
Did you use yogurt in this?
Yes, I did.
This really works.
Oh, Sam.
This is my brother.
He's here to give me a ride
- after I finish my shift.
- Hi.
Hi.
You've gotta try some of this cake, Sam.
It's so good.
You know what, I could actually cut you
your own slice.
You got a minute, right?
Yeah.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
That was so weird.
I have never done that before.
- You just made out in public.
- I know.
You just made out in public!
- Look at me in the face.
- Oh, my God.
- Who is she?
- Who am I? Who am I?
You just kissed a boy.
This is not the most sanitary place
to be doing this.
Jane, those are literally toxic.
I don't think it really matters.
True.
You're adding all the grocery receipts
to the list that we split?
Huh?
- The monthly bill that we split.
- What monthly bill?
Jane...
The grocery receipts, the gas receipts.
For taking me to my appointments
and work and everywhere?
Don't be ridiculous.
Don't be rid... I'm not being ridiculous.
You have to learn to charge people
for your services.
If you're going to be a lawyer,
you gotta invoice.
You're not gonna pay me for gas.
You're so annoying.
You should be Judge Judy for Halloween.
Girl, are we supposed to be running
a 5K for you?
Mm-mm.
I'm just supposed to attend.
Okay.
And maybe give some high fives to people,
hand out some juice.
Yeah, all right, when did this happen?
Um, let's see.
Benita filed the paperwork with the city
this morning.
- I'm sorry, are you serious?
- Mm-hmm.
I can't really do anything about it, Jane.
I've just accepted that this is how
things go when you have cancer.
People feel bad for you,
and then they get you stuff,
and then you kind of have
to just graciously accept,
which makes them feel a whole lot better.
Okay, you're all set up for acupuncture
at 5:00.
And Jake's bringing
a kind of a therapy dog
that you may or may not want to...
- Yeah, I love dogs.
- Okay. All right.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You work in legal, right?
Yeah. It's a very...
exciting department.
Okay. You're probably really busy,
but if I were to buy you a drink,
I'm wondering if you could
walk me through copyright IP.
Just 'cause I'm applying to law school,
really curious.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, I track international licenses,
so maybe we can just start there.
Yeah, I'm riveted
by international licenses.
Uh, you going down?
- Please, I've only just met you.
- Oh.
- That was a really dumb joke.
- Okay.
I'm just going to go report myself
to HR, actually.
- Yeah, okay. See you.
- Um, I'll...
Okay, um, just so you know,
there is an exclusivity clause
in this one,
but I didn't see it in that one,
which may be worth mentioning.
Oh, you are terrifyingly good at this.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I feel like you're trying to take my job.
Ooh, definitely not.
All due respect to the legal department.
Definitely not. I understand.
Wait, wait, I thought you said
you were applying to law school.
Well, yeah, I-I will be applying.
Um, I want to stay in L.A., though,
so hopefully like a UCLA or a USC
- or somewhere like that.
- Sweet.
What about you, though?
You have any plans after this?
Plan after this? I don't know.
- I mean, I'm in the trainee program.
- Oh.
- This is the plan.
- So legal department is the plan
for the next five-ish years, yeah.
- But I like the pace of things.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I like my boss.
- Mm-hmm.
And I like the break room snacks.
I did have one of your dreamsicle
cake slices the other day.
Oh, you did?
Those orangey shavings in the frosting...
Amazing.
Well, have you ever zested an orange?
It's just like, pure,
I don't know, knuckle terror.
So, just to clarify, there was no blood?
- Okay?
- I can guarantee there is no blood...
in that cake.
But I'm glad, I'm glad you liked it.
Yeah, I loved it.
Um, do you still want to hear about
intellectual property law?
- To be honest...
- Mm-hmm.
Not really.
Honestly, I'm glad you said no.
But you promised me a drink,
and all I've got so far
is bubbly sparkling water.
All right. Thank you again
for a fun night of contracts.
- Great night of contracts.
- Yeah.
You're very welcome.
You know,
I've actually learned more tonight
than I would in, like,
the first semester of law school.
Really? I'm flattered.
- Tell my boss that.
- Oh, I will.
Good. I'm glad.
Wait, um...
I actually had a great time tonight.
Me, too.
How's your nausea level?
Um, fine.
- Are you sleeping okay?
- Yes.
How would you say your mood is?
I'd say fantastic.
Fantastic?
- Mm-hmm.
- Really?
Jane just smooched it up last night
with this guy
- that she liked forever and ever, so...
- Corinne.
I'd say it's a pretty good boost
for morale.
Corinne, your parents are on the phone.
- Sorry, please disregard.
- What?
They don't care.
Good for you, Jane.
Just be safe, okay? Use a condom.
Oh.
What?
Okay. So when do I get to go wig shopping?
I'm allergic to hair dye,
I've always wanted pink hair,
- so this is my chance.
- You probably won't need a wig.
Most people don't lose all their hair
with this course of treatment,
but you may experience some thinning
as your treatment progresses.
- But I want a wig.
- I already ordered some for us to try.
- You did?
- Yeah.
If they're not pink, I don't want it.
Girl, it's pink.
How's your balance been?
Um, um...
I've gotten a little dizzy sometimes
but nothing major.
You haven't told me
you've been getting dizzy.
I'm thinking I may reduce
your seizure medication.
Is that something
we should be worried about?
Just a precaution
to help with the dizziness.
No need to be concerned.
Thank you. Bye.
You know that Liz saw Adam Lambert
at the 99 Cent Store on Pico?
Mm.
He was buying Q-tips.
- Is that Owen?
- Yes.
Do you have another date
and you didn't tell me about it?
I don't know yet. I don't know yet.
- He's supposed to call later.
- Whoa, wait.
Oh, my God.
We should get you some underwear.
Look at this.
This is nice.
I am good on that. No, thanks.
Jane, I have seen
your underwear drawer, okay?
It's like the chastity collection
from the von Trapp Family Singers.
- All right?
- Where did that come from?
Three for 25. That's it.
Are you kidding me?
- This is a steal.
- What a steal.
Yeah, it's a steal.
This'll look really good on you.
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, ooh.
- Look, your tatas would fit perfectly.
- You know...
- Oh, my God.
- Actually, not right now.
Owen will lose his shit.
Ooh. You got to get this one.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Don't you think this would look
really good on her?
- Corinne, can you please stop?
- Look good on my girl, right?
- What?
- Hey, Corinne, I'm being so serious.
I'm your panty godmother.
I'm here to save you from a life
of polka dots and stripes, baby.
Can you not... Can you please
not touch me with all this...
Your undercarriage is dying to break free.
Can you not do...
Can you not do this right now?
- What?
- Can you not...
I'm just m... I'm just messing with you.
- Oh, my God.
- What is wrong?
- Why are you being so weird?
- Are you kidding?
Because I don't need your help
to have sex.
- This is not a sex talk.
- You are.
This is a shopping for intimates
that I think would look good on you talk.
That I would never wear.
So if you would like to buy them
for your stupid large underwear collection
that I get to wash on delicates,
then go ahead.
You don't have to wash them on delicate.
Yes, you do. But why would you know that?
Because you can't even take the lint
out of the dryer.
- I take... Yes, I do.
- No. No, you don't.
- Yes, I do. Yes.
- I do. No, you don't.
It's me.
I do it because you get to be reckless
and I get to clean up after you.
- Whoa, what the...
- And why are we sitting here
talking about underwear
like you're not dizzy?
But you didn't tell me you were dizzy.
Because I don't want to
talk about being dizzy, okay?
Because I don't want to think about
being dizzy because it's gross
and it's boring, and I hate it.
Sorry, everyone!
I just want to have fun,
and I want you to have fun.
- Okay?
- I wish it could be about...
I wish it could be about that.
I wish it could be about fun,
but this is about...
it's about my best friend surviving,
and as your caregiver, it's...
Oh, perfect.
Thank you so much, Nurse Caregiver.
Thank you since I am not having fun.
So thank you for making sure
that everything sucks all the time.
Okay.
I'm sorry, I'm not...
- I'm sorry, too.
- It just sucks.
Yeah.
I'm still going to buy this.
And I'm-I'm going to buy this, too.
You're going to wear it.
I'm not going to wear it.
I think DJ Grandma
is just a really winning costume.
I'll accept the compliment,
but come on,
I'm Terry Gross from Fresh Air.
- What? That's what she looks like?
- Yeah.
Everyone's been saying that, but yeah.
Matter of fact,
I think she interviewed you.
What?
- Gloria Steinem you.
- Yes, me.
You guys, Guns N' Roses.
Guns N' Roses.
Right.
Pleasure to meet you, gentlemen.
They want some cake.
Yeah?
- Sounds good.
- What is it again?
It's a carrot cardamom cake
with maple frosting.
Could you open that?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
No, no, no.
You have to wait at least three hours
to respond.
Let him sweat.
Hey, y'all think I look more like Bono
or MC Hammer?
- Wow.
- Happy Halloween!
This is the moment
you've been waiting for.
Please welcome to the floor
the unforgettable Sherry Vine
and the Twin Flames!
Well, I saw the thing
a-comin' out of the sky
It had one long horn and one big eye
I commenced to shakin'
and I said "Ooh-wee"
It looks like
a purple people eater to me
It was a one-eyed, one-horned,
flyin' purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned...
All right, queens!
Let's get spooky!
- I do have a hot take.
- Yeah?
The huevos rancheros
are a little overhyped.
They're a little overhyped,
but I'm not complaining.
No, no, sounds like a complaint, okay?
Some of us basically drink salsa
for breakfast... -Mm-hmm.
And don't complain about
the egg ranchero ratio.
Can't you see that I'm busting
my ass at the restaurant
and being here doing whatever I can
for you, and you think I don't care?
Yeah, Dave,
because it kind of pisses me off
when you say you have to network
and you're out smoking weed
with the line cooks.
- What, are you my mom now?
- Jesus Christ!
I seriously cannot deal with this
right now.
- Then don't.
- Then leave!
- Hey.
- Hey.
I should really check on Corinne.
Yeah, definitely.
- It's probably best I get going as well.
- Okay.
Let me know if you need anything.
- All right. Thanks for today.
- Of course.
- I'll see you later.
- Mm-hmm.
Hi. It's me.
Hey.
You all right?
Yeah, I think we're gonna take a break
for a little while.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
It's all good.
He brought some artichoke soup,
if you want.
- Um, he forgot I don't like artichokes.
- Artichokes. Yeah.
I know you do, so enjoy.
Thompson, where's that report?
It was supposed to be in...
Oh, my God, I completely forgot.
Um, hold on, I...
If you just give me a second to look
through this stuff, I know I got it.
I know I had it. I printed it out.
Just bring it in when you find it.
I'm sorry, Benita.
I'm not afraid of living
On a fault line
'Cause nothing ever shakes me...
How long until I can take another?
You still have an hour.
Okay.
Want to try that cloth again?
In the ocean, I'm drowning
I'm not afraid of living on
a fault line...
Here, can I try it, see if it helps?
Can I put my hands here?
Thank you.
Sometimes I wish I was you.
Really?
Even before all this cancer bullshit.
You carry around
this thoughtfulness and...
I'm just loud and messy.
I can't focus.
You, like...
you absorb things and internalize them.
I don't do that at all. I'm just...
I should be learning some major
life lesson right now, but I'm just...
just annoyed and ready for this
to be over.
Yeah.
Will you... you sing me a song
or something?
Can you tell me something...
- I'm not gonna...
- funny or a secret?
I'm not going to subject you
to my singing,
and you know all my secrets.
You couldn't think of a new one?
Please.
Um...
Okay.
Last month, I ate your, uh,
last slice of pizza,
the one from Jon & Vinny's,
and you thought it was Dave.
- Wow. That's low.
- Yeah.
Yeah. I even put the box
under the, um, couch like he does.
It's messed up.
I'm really a monster for that.
Yeah, you are.
You started a really big fight.
Tell me another one.
I don't want to go to law school.
Jane, everyone knows that.
Except for your parents.
Yeah.
Sometimes I wish I was you.
You know, you're so brave.
I'm not brave. I'm just a show-off.
I can't.
Here.
Let's try the cloth again, maybe.
Is that okay?
Make sure you take your meds
as soon as you can.
Try and take deep breaths.
I know it's hard.
I can't believe
you actually ordered these.
What do you think?
Should it be like a... a deeper pink?
Uh, that depends.
Are you going for vintage Gwen Stefani
or mixtape Nicki Minaj?
- Huh.
- You know, when she's like...
- My mom texted me.
- Yeah?
Yeah. She said that they're going to be,
like, an hour and a half late for dinner.
What time do your parents land again?
6:30.
What I want to know is how we're going
to get out of playing Monopoly
with the four of them tonight.
We have a schedule to stick to.
Yeah, and what I want to know is:
What is happening with these sleeves?
Like, my arms look so long.
What do you mean?
They're three quarter sleeves.
What do you mean, what do I mean?
Look at me in this. I look ridiculous.
Who would choose this?
Me.
It's supposed to look like that.
You should wear it cakebarring.
It actually looks really good on you.
Speaking of which, can we talk about
pausing cakebarring for a second?
Why?
Why, 'cause of Owen?
Eh, not really.
I just feel like you should be
getting more rest.
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
Jane, I'm fine.
Mm, you weren't fine last night.
Come on, dude.
I can get through
taking a cake to a bar once a week.
Yeah, I know,
some days you feel totally fine,
but the places are loud
and people are vaping in your face.
- Jane, I'm fine.
- None of that can be good for treatment.
I'm fine.
This is supposed to be a fun project.
Can we just shelve it
just until you're 100%?
No.
This is way more than just a fun project.
This is some place.
May I propose a toast?
First time we are all together in,
what, three years?
And Corinne is doing so well
with her treatment.
- Cheers. -Cheers.
- Salute.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Corinne, I know everyone must say this,
but you look great.
Pink suits you.
Really? Thank you.
- Give you that for later on.
- No, no, Fred.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Fred, don't do that.
- Do not listen to this man.
- Fred, please don't.
- It's his birthday.
- No.
It's not my birthday.
Please give him his card, please.
Okay...
No, where, where are you...? Fred...
Jane has done an amazing job
taking care of Corinne, and we insist.
Thank you.
You shouldn't have done that.
- It's done. -ISAAC: Thank you.
- You shouldn't have done that.
How's everything going
with your cakes, Jane?
Cakes?
Yeah, it's fine. It's been good, actually.
I've been baking a lot
during my study breaks.
I know you've been studying
for a long time.
You pick out a law school yet?
No, not yet.
I am still in the application process,
so we'll see if I get in anywhere first.
Yeah.
We can look over everything
while we are here, if it would help.
You know, UC Davis has that program
in water justice.
Water justice. Yeah, thanks, Mom.
You know, I don't think that Jane
wants to go to law school
or be a lawyer, really, you know.
But what do I know?
Honey, what is she talking about?
I don't know.
- Uh...
- Oh.
If I'm being honest, I'm really behind...
Well, there's still time to catch up.
Everything happening.
Yep, there is.
La donna mobile
Here is your breado
Scrumdiddilyumptious.
Fantastico!
I'm sorry, does anybody want bread?
Corinne, I have to tell you,
I don't get it.
What are you trying to do?
Dude, I thought that you were at the point
where you could finally do this.
Do what, though?
This is so frustrating for me,
and I'm literally just trying to help you.
I can't go out there
and blindside my parents
and tell them I don't want to go
to law school anymore.
Really? Because I just ran
the idea by them and no one died.
Oh, my God.
Did she just not wash her hands?
- She didn't wash her hands.
- That's what I thought.
Okay, so you want me to go out there
and say,
"Hey, Mom and Dad, you know what?
I don't have a plan,
"and I don't want to make the world
a better place like you two,
but I do want to make frosting."
Even though, you know the only reason they
let me move here was for in-state tuition.
It's like I thought that this whole
cake thing had worked
and you'd finally grown a pair,
but clearly it hasn't,
since you still can't even say
what you want or care about.
This has always been the plan, Corinne.
So you're just gonna let yourself
get pushed into this?
I could think of worse things
to get pushed into.
Okay.
It's your life, Janie. You do you.
Well, that was nice.
The singing was a little much, wasn't it?
Ah, I liked when they did show tunes
at the end.
I love the one from Wicked.
Corinne seemed tired tonight.
Was it funny what she said about you
and law school?
Yeah, that was a misunderstanding.
I think she's just going through a lot,
obviously.
Honey, it's wonderful
that you are there for her.
Last few months must have
been very difficult.
We are proud of you.
All right, next auction item.
Who's out there who has a teenager at home
who hasn't looked at you since Christmas?
Well, I have a little package that's going
to perk them up, and this is what it is.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Are you here to donate blood?
I'm afraid not. I'm anemic.
But I did want to show my support,
so I'm handing out water
during the afternoon shift.
That is really sw... Whoa.
Whoo!
Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I want what he's drinking.
Yeah.
Speaking of which,
do you want to hang out tonight?
- We could get a drink.
- Yeah.
I just have to drive Corinne back
when she's ready to leave.
- Just give me a call.
- Yeah.
- All right. See you in a bit.
- See you.
Hi.
What are you wearing?
Your face.
- Did you make this yourself?
- Yeah.
Can I hear it, can I hear it?
7,500. We start at 7,500.
Do I hear 7,500? Great.
No one is leaving
until we hit 20 grand, okay?
And if you think I'm kidding,
those blockades are here for a reason.
Okay, do I hear nine?
Hey, runners, remember to grab
a goodie bag on the way out
and drive safely.
A lot of people rolled through today.
That was really sweet.
I liked the, uh, Foo Fighters
cover band that played.
Really?
Yeah. You, uh, mess with their look
a little bit,
replace the bass player,
they could be the next Kings of Leon.
I guess. Sorry it's such a trek.
Car's right up here.
Oh, hey.
Are you good?
I hate those flowers.
Those are ugly flowers.
Hey, you know what? Let's take a seat.
Will you sit down?
Talk to me.
I hated it today.
I hated it so fucking much.
Just all those people I don't even know
just taking pictures with me,
posting about my stupid brain tumor.
Yeah.
You know, I don't feel like a sick person.
And today just reminded me, I...
I'm a sick person
for people to feel bad for.
And I just...
You have cancer right now,
but you're not a sick person.
You're a person that happens to be sick.
This is just one thing
you're going through.
And I feel like we're going
to look back on all this
as that really weird year
we spent in hospitals and bars.
Really hope so.
I'm sorry about the other night.
I-I didn't mean to ambush you like that.
I just...
No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I overreacted.
I just want to...
I just want to make sure
that you're going to be,
you know, okay by yourself...
if, um,
- if I don't get better.
- Don't say that.
Don't say that.
- Uh...
- No.
- Yeah.
- You're going to be okay,
and when you're the next
Benita big shot agent,
everyone's going to be like, "Oh, my God,
did you know that Corinne had cancer?
She's such a rock star,
you can't even tell."
"I heard she was in Cancun with The Weeknd
after she finished her chemo."
"Well, you know, I heard that Mick Jagger
named an essential oils line after her
in spite of it being
an already saturated market."
That was a good one, by the way.
I love Mick Jagger.
I know you do.
You never let me forget
how much you love Mick Jagger.
- You know that's my boy.
- That's your boy.
Hi. Okay, what's going on?
Okay, lie down, lie down.
Something's wrong.
What month is it?
It's November.
What day is it?
It's the fifth. It's a Sunday.
Oh.
- I missed your birthday?
- No.
No, uh, we went to the reservoir
and you made us a picnic.
I'll-I'll be right back.
Hi. Um, excuse me.
My friend was supposed to be seen
hours ago.
Sorry. It's a crazy night.
No, I know, but she's being treated
in this hospital for a brain tumor.
Her name is Corinne Thompson.
We're doing the best we can.
Okay, um...
Her oncologist is-is Dr. Mitchell.
Could you just check to see who's on call?
If it's a fellow, a resident,
anybody in her primary care team.
She's acting like she has amnesia.
She's never done this before.
I'll see what I can do.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
Hi. I'm sorry, sorry about that.
I just had to check on something.
Is there anything I could get you?
I could rustle up some really stale chips
from the vending machine.
What happened?
I don't know.
It could be a reaction
from your new chemo pills.
Chemo pills?
Wait.
What month is it?
It's November.
No, what day is it?
It's the fifth. It's a Sunday.
I missed your birthday.
You never miss my birthday.
We spent it together.
We had a really good day.
Why are we at the hospital?
You okay?
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Hi.
I like seeing you guys all together.
Yeah.
How are you doing, Corinne?
How'd you sleep?
I'm fine.
Uh, the...
these sheets are so loud, though.
You don't love these waterproof sheets?
They're not...?
- No.
- No?
I'm not going to piss myself, I swear.
So, I... I got the results
of Corinne's MRI.
Uh-oh.
Pregnant?
Hey, come on.
It's not what we were hoping for.
The tumor has appeared
in a new location as a glioblastoma.
Glioblastomas are very aggressive.
More treatments for brain cancer
are coming out all the time, but...
there is no cure for this
particular tumor right now.
Okay, I'm, um...
I'm sorry. What do we do next?
Because of the location,
surgery is still not a viable option.
- Okay.
- But...
Corinne could be eligible
for a clinical trial.
I have a list of hospitals
that are currently accepting patients.
Wait...
Are you saying that we're-we're...
we're done here?
We're not done.
She said, she said there's a list.
- We're not done.
- We...
We can make some calls first.
You know what? We'll make the calls.
Just give us the list.
Why are we just now hearing about a list?
Why are we not already on the list?
I'm so sorry, Mr. Thompson.
Cancer is never a straight line.
There are so many ups and downs.
Yeah, no, I don't need
a straight line. I need a straight answer.
Now, where was this list three months ago
when we first met you?
I wish I had a better answer for you.
She could still get into Houston.
Dallas could take her next week
if her samples are a match.
This isn't us giving up.
We should have brought her home, Ruth.
We should have done the Mayo Clinic.
We could have gone
to all the appointments.
We could have managed her care.
We could have been there for all of it,
not just emailing her articles
about electrolytes.
We don't know that she'd be better.
She could still be just as sick,
but she would hate us
for making her leave.
Well, we won't know.
You convinced me that she'd be fine.
She isn't going to be fine, Ruth.
It wasn't our decision to make.
I have to pick up her Keppra
before the pharmacy closes.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Can I come in?
- Mm-hmm.
Great.
I need to sleep with you.
Are you okay with that?
I was not expecting that. Yeah, yeah.
- Can I get you a drink?
- Couch or bed?
- Oh, you mean now?
- Yeah.
- Uh...
- Bed?
- Bed?
- I like bed.
Hey.
Hmm?
You okay?
Not really.
Life's a little weird,
but if you're asking
whether I'm a sober
and consenting adult, absolutely.
- You?
- Yeah.
Okay, good.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Hey.
Uh...
thought you could use this instant
like you like.
- Thanks, Janie.
- Yeah.
I know you're upset
Corinne didn't come to Phoenix with you.
And I'm so sorry.
I really never thought
we'd get to this point.
I really thought I could handle it.
No, no, no, no, no, no. No.
Of course you didn't.
None of us, none of us wanted
to think that.
Hell, I-I thought the biggest problem
would be the carpet.
Or the mold in your shower pan
or the faulty GFI.
I can fix those.
But, uh...
Oh, this cancer business is not...
not something you or I
can do anything about, is it?
No.
And I-I just needed something
to be mad at.
I'm not mad at you.
Thanks.
Mmm...
Yeah. I think you're overdue
for a change of scenery.
Well, I don't know.
My car keys are all the way upstairs.
I have mine.
Wow.
Fred, you're really good at this.
You know, I'm an auto body guy.
Glaze coat's a glaze coat.
Any suggestions
on how to take this corner?
I mean, you can round it off
or commit to that point.
I was thinking of rounding it,
but might as well commit to the point.
Committing to the point.
- Ugh.
- Hmm?
The art in here is so ugly.
Yeah, it is pretty bad.
- It's... it's Wednesday, right?
- Yeah.
How long have I,
how long have I been here again?
RUTH and JANE:
Three days.
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
- Jane? Jane?
- Yeah?
Oh, my... Okay, what's wrong?
What's wrong?
Let's go get fries.
Oh, okay.
- Come on.
- Yeah, let's get fries.
So there's this super famous
French fry stand
in, um, Rio de Janeiro.
It's apparently like the best French fries
in the world.
So I was thinking...
that we could put in for a vacation
at the same time
and maybe go next summer.
- I'm down.
- Right?
- Just have to renew our passports.
- Oh, yeah.
Can't get by with those photos.
I just don't want to roll in
with a picture of me at 12,
- like, "Let me in, please."
- Yeah. No, thank you.
Did you know that Russell and I
had our first date here?
Russell, the tennis coach?
- My tennis coach.
- Yeah.
- With the... Mm-hmm.
- The tiny shorts.
Oh, my God.
- His shorts were so small.
- I know.
I saw he just had a baby.
It's probably pretty easy
with those shorts.
Slide 'em to the side.
Time out. Time out.
Sorry.
Oh. Thanks, Jane.
Of course.
They said it could have been worse.
They're going to readmit her
and keep her for longer.
What if she gets into one of those trials,
could she leave?
Um, the Houston one called today
and she's not a match.
And then, uh, the other ones,
we were either too late applying
or her tumor is too far advanced.
Um, so Houston was our last hope.
Do you remember when she wanted
to get that tattoo?
The one that had the record player?
Yeah. You said that if she waited
until she was 20 that you'd get her a car.
And then I just took her to get it anyway.
Yeah, you totally caved.
To be honest,
I think it looks really good.
You know, she's really lucky
to have you as her mom.
I don't know.
I'm really lucky she came along.
I never thought I'd have so much fun.
Me, either.
I wish you were in my kitchen with me.
It's so delicious.
Now, if you have your folks coming in,
you got the...
Okay.
Let's get to it.
Good, you are awake.
I can't sleep.
These sheets are still so loud.
It's a pumpkin pie cake.
Wow.
How are you doing?
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm, uh...
doing pretty good, you know.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Definitely having an existential crisis
right now.
Sounds about right.
You in any pain, though?
- Anything I can get you?
- No.
- You promise?
- Yeah.
Okay, give me an update.
We have 17 cakes left.
I know that.
So you also know that I'm going to finish
cakebarring for us.
Hell yeah.
I said 50 cakes,
so I'm gonna do 50 cakes.
Good.
Wish I could go with you.
Oh, you are.
'Cause I'm going to bring it all to you.
Worth it, worth it, worth it, worth it
Ooh
Worth all of the time
I'm 'bout to give you, baby
So I hope you're gonna make it all
Worth it, worth it, worth it...
Okay. I see your standard icing,
and I'm gonna raise you one.
Ooh, when I see the sun rising
You make it that much better
So I hope you're gonna make it all
Worth it, worth it, worth it,
worth it, ooh...
Oh. Hi.
- Hi, Janie.
- Hi.
Okay, everyone,
I brought more cakebarring souvenirs.
Worth it, worth it, ooh
I love it. -I got this flag
from Pride Night at the Abbey.
- Love the Abbey.
- Oh, I have more.
This is what I got from the Edison.
Girl, you stole a menu from the Edison?
Okay, that's a safety hazard, guys.
That's a safety hazard.
Okay. Okay, no more sage. No more sage.
As I hope you'll make it worth it
Ooh
When I see the sun rising,
you make it that much better
So I hope you're gonna make it all
worth it, worth it, worth it, worth it
Rams bobblehead from Sunday's game,
which I traded
for a molten chocolate beer cake.
Tiny pencils from Los Globos,
'cause Alex forced me to go
to trivia night with her.
- Let me guess, she won.
- Won by landslide.
And then... Right.
A photo strip from Liz's office's
Christmas party
where everyone was gluten free.
Which means I have an entire eggnog cake
with your name on it
in the fridge when we get home.
Okay, that should do it.
You ready to go home?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Let's ride.
After weeks in the hospital,
you must be ready for my lasagna.
Goodbye, room.
That is some ugly-ass art on the wall.
That's exactly what I said.
You see what I mean about the primer?
Yeah.
I like to put it on, like, more here,
matte, so it doesn't crease,
'cause I don't, I don't like
when it creases.
Okay, how do I do that?
The fluffy brush.
Got you.
Got you. Got to matte it.
- Jane.
- Huh?
Give me that.
Yeah.
What am I missing?
This is for blush.
Okay, sure,
but it was the fluffiest one here.
Got the whole job done, right?
You saw how fast I did that.
Fluffiest eye brush.
Okay, since we're getting technical.
Fluffy brush.
Once we get good at this,
then Owen will be so focused on your eyes,
he'll forget about
your terrible underwear.
You are such an underwear bully.
Please just take mine.
Please.
I don't want them to just be thrown away.
You can even have this one.
My favorite.
Are you wearing underwire right now?
Stretch lace.
Okay.
Extremely comfortable.
What's happening with you and Owen?
We're at that point where it's like,
are we going on dates or are we dating?
What do you want?
Yeah, he's a good guy
and we have...
we have a good time together,
but I just think that when I met him,
I really, really wanted him to like me.
But more so as a way to...
to prove that I could be liked, er, um,
so I could like myself.
Oh, my God, is that so dumb?
No, it's part of evolving
and learning who you are.
Makes me happy to see you going out
and doing what you want.
Yeah.
You know, finding what makes you happy.
Now I just have to figure out what I want.
Are you sure that eyeshadow's
what you want?
I don't know if burnt orange is my color.
It's not.
Yeah.
What?
I can't.
Oh, one more thing, honey.
We wanted to fill you in
on our summer plans.
We are thinking we will do
some, uh, consulting
in Nay Pyi Taw for two weeks,
and then, uh, we go to Vang Vieng
for a week at the end.
Oh, that sounds great.
You should come with us, sweetie.
Get a change of scenery
before you go off to school.
You know, actually, there's...
Actually, there's something
that we should talk about.
And I'm so sorry because
I should have said this sooner, but...
I'm not going to law school.
TASHA and ISAAC:
What?
I mean, I mean, you are not going now
or you are not going ever?
It's just not something I'd be good at
because it's not something I'd enjoy.
And for the longest time, I thought
it was the only thing that I could do,
and I wanted to make you guys happy.
Oh, Jane.
Please don't say
you want to be an actress.
God, no.
Whoo, not an actress.
But I do feel like I can do what I want
and still make a difference.
With a law degree,
you can do whatever you want.
Jane, look at your mom...
Come on, come on, turn the radio on
It's Friday night,
and it won't be long
Gotta do my hair, put my make-up on
It's Friday night,
and it won't be long
Till I hit the dance floor
Hit the dance floor
I got all I need
- No, I ain't got cash
- I ain't got cash
But I got you, baby
Baby, I don't need dollar bills
to have fun tonight
I love cheap thrills
Baby, I don't need dollar bills
to have fun tonight
I love cheap thrills
I don't need no money
- Hey.
- Hey.
Money
As long as I can feel the beat...
I have a question, though.
Are you gonna get up there and sing?
Oh, God, no.
- No?
- No.
I will spare everyone the misery.
Oh, I also can't sing,
so I'm not making my debut.
- Hey, yo, Janie.
- Yes.
When are we going cakebarring, huh?
- Cakebarring?
- Yeah.
- What is that?
- Oh.
Oh, it's kind of in the name.
I basically just bring my cakes to a bar
as a way to meet people.
So all the cake I've been eating
is just leftovers
that you've been handing out
to, like, strangers?
Yes.
That is exactly what it is.
That's so random.
It's kind of weird.
It's actually been pretty perfect.
Yeah.
So good.
I have a s... I have a song.
Oh.
- My turn.
- All right.
Hot tamale.
Hot tamale coming through.
Uh, try get you the mic here?
Oh, oh, I got you, I got you,
I got you, I got you.
Okay, okay. All right, ready?
- Yeah, just lift with your legs.
- One, two...
Got her?
- It can't be that hard. Come on.
- Okay.
Ooh, precious... oh... cargo.
All right, leave me alone. Thank you.
Um...
Merry Christmas.
You take the gray skies outta my way
You make the sun shine brighter
than Doris Day
Bright spark into a flame
My beats per minute
never been the same
'Cause you're my lady
and I'm your fool
It makes me crazy
when you act so cruel
Come on, baby, let's not fight
We'll go dancing
Everything will be all right
Wake me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you go-go
I don't wanna miss it
when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go-go
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo
Wake me up before you go-go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high.
That was horrible.
- So rude. So rude.
- That was so bad.
You're terrible singers.
Out of here already?
Yeah, that's it.
It's my last day as a mail room employee.
Wow, the break room is going to be
a lot less exciting.
Sorry.
Ooh, do you want to do something
this weekend?
I was thinking margaritas
at Casita del Campo,
but, you know,
I understand if you're too busy.
Yeah, uh...
Owen, you're really great.
And I really like you.
It's just this isn't the right thing
for me right now.
I'm just figuring some things out.
Yeah.
Well, okay, uh...
I'm really sorry if what I said
the other night
about your cake thing was, uh...
I guess I'm not as comfortable
putting myself out there.
Okay, did you just call me outgoing?
Yeah.
'Cause that is the first time
in human history
that anyone has ever referred to me
as outgoing.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Okay. Well, I'm glad to be your first.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I had a lot of fun.
I'll see you.
- What?
- Ladies.
Okay, what happened?
Oh.
You know, I thought of another secret.
I never wanted to move to L.A.
All I knew is that I'd follow you
wherever you went.
Even if you chose the saddest,
darkest, coldest town...
I'd be there.
'Cause you just see the spark
in everything.
And you make it magic.
You're the most amazing person
I've ever known.
Duh.
I love you.
Wherever you are in the universe,
I'll love you.
I'll always be in your orbit.
Can't wait to haunt you.
I know you're going to haunt me.
So you know I'm gonna live a life
worth haunting.
With, uh, fries in Rio.
And Stones concerts.
Piano karaoke.
I'm gonna live it all for both of us,
I promise.
If you want to rest now, that's okay.
I love you.
Love you.
I know.
Is she...?
Oh, my God.
It's really stretchy.
It's really stretchy.
Pulling the thread
and I'm tearing the seams
I'm ready to go
Singing the songs...
Who's ready to slap the bag?
Hey, Brock, that's wine.
I ordered, uh, a case, so here we go.
Classy.
Khoresh Gheymeh.
It's a Persian stew,
typically served at memorials.
- Make sure you have some rice with it.
- Okay.
No wonder I'm ready
Hi.
To go
- Mm
- RUTH: Isaac. Tasha.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Thank you so much for coming all this way.
You're so kind.
Oh.
I was in Sedona for a cleanse.
Oh.
I'm kidding.
Yeah, right, right.
Right.
We're going ahead
with that, uh, tour idea she had.
The two Billies: Joel and Eilish.
- Really?
- Yes.
Starts in June.
Wow.
Wow, she would have loved that.
Yeah.
And you, you're going to be a baker?
Yeah. How'd you know that?
Oh, my job.
I recognize talent, and then I exploit it.
Got it.
And I have a Rolodex full of contacts
if you ever need help.
Not that you do.
Thank you.
Frequently, pretend to sleep
Pulling the thread
and I'm tearing the seams
I'm ready to go
- Singing the song...
- Okay.
Let's get you in.
No wonder I'm ready to go
Like wheat canes and pretty things
I'll never know what tomorrow brings
But I'm ready
No wonder I'm ready
No wonder, no wonder
-No wonder
- No wonder
- No wonder
- No wonder
No wonder
- No wonder I'm ready...
- Hi.
Special occasion?
- I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready
- No wonder
Pulling the thread
and I'm tearing the seams
I'm ready to go
Singing the songs
that you've given to me
No wonder I'm ready to go
Like wheat canes...
I did it, Corinne.
I finished.
I'm ready
50 cakes.
No wonder I'm ready.
Thanks for the adventure.
Hey, this is for you.
Hi.
Ooh, cake is coming through.
Beautiful Miss Jane.
Did you save me any cake?
Always. Got a slice for your mom.
You're the best.
You're looking good. Good to see you.
I pictured a rainbow
You held it in your hands
I had flashes
Ooh, but you saw the plan...
Enjoy, and see you next week?
Sure.
I wandered out in the world for years
While you just stayed in your room
What can I get you?
I saw the crescent
- Ooh
- You want a refill?
- Yeah
- Ooh, it's your birthday?
- You saw the whole of the moon
- Happy birthday.
Ooh, the whole of the moon
Cheers.
You were there in the turnstiles
With the wind at your heels
You stretched for the stars
and you know how it feels
- To reach too high
- Too high
- Too far
- Too far
- Too soon
- Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon
Yeah, ooh
You saw, you saw
I spoke about wings
Ooh
And you just flew
I wondered and I guessed and I tried
Ooh
But you just knew
Ooh, I sighed
Ooh
Ooh, yeah
But you swooned
Yeah
I saw the crescent, ooh
You saw the whole of the moon
Ooh
The whole of the moon
Ooh
With a torch in your pocket
And the wind on your heels
You climbed on a ladder
And you know how it feels
- Too high
- Too high
- Too far
- Too far
- Too soon
- Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon
Yeah
The whole of the moon
You saw the whole of the moon
Ooh, yeah
The whole of the moon
You saw, you saw
The whole of the moon
Ooh, you saw the whole of the moon.