Skatetown, U.S.A. (1979) Movie Script
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Ask how it feels to be on those wheels
Wind in your hair, you got no cares
C'mon and join the song at Skatetown
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
There's many a slip
between the cup and the lip
and we all go through
life, taking many a trip
let's just roll along and hold
on to the song of Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Dream can come true there
magic moments are in the air.
The carousel turns
once you get together
all the boys and girls.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
There'll be no sad songs
spin your wheels and roll along.
There'll be no heartbreaks
here comes Crazy
Kate on her roller skates.
Ask how it feels to
be on those wheels
then, touched by a
spell, roll out of the shell
goin' 'round and 'round,
just dancing to the sound of
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin' 'round and 'round)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin')
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin' round and)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin' 'round and 'round)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin')
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Skatetown!)
All right! Wake up, Skatetown, USA!
Hello there, palm trees!
Light up, pinballs!
Come on, we're going to get those kilowatts
moving and those light bulbs grooving!
Let's groove, light up,
turn sparkle and glitter!
Open your eyes, snack bar!
It's time for the magic to begin!
So hang on to your skates
and abraca whatever!
Presto, change-o! Let's go and have a ball!
Skaters, I hope you're
all having a groovy time!
We were born to be alive
We were born to be alive
Born, born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes, we were born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
Time was on my side when I
was running down the street
at four-to-five five five
A suitcase and an old
guitar and somewthing new
to occupy my
mind, mind, mind
Yes, we were born, born
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes, we were born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
People ask me why I
never find a place to stop
and settle down, down, down
But I never wanted all those things
People need to justify
their lives, lives, lives
Yes, we were born, born, born
Whoa, look at this place.
Yeah.
Where's your sister?
Where she always is.
Talking to guys?
No, in the john.
Oh, you're doing excellent.
I must say.
Uh-oh, I took the wrong ticket again.
No.
You took the right ticket
because the suppression
of women, we must
follow through with that.
Right?
Dad. Dad!
Yeah, yeah.
Do you have to hit on every
broad who comes into the place?
Can't you be cool?
Are you forgetting about mom?
You're right, son.
I am forgetting mom.
Now, Teri.
Dad.
Please.
Okay?
Now, Teri, I noticed you're
letting people in for free.
All this stuff has to be paid for.
The lights.
The band.
All this has to be paid for.
Now, please collect the passes.
The orange tickets are for last week.
All right.
The green ones are for this week.
But gee, Harvey.
You see, Jimmy told
me that historically the
suppression of women
has meant less wages,
i.e., less time for entertainment.
It's obvious you're very well-informed
regarding the suppression of women.
Where you're having difficulty is
remembering the colors of the passes.
See, the orange passes are for last week.
The green passes are for this week.
Okay?
The orange passes are for last week.
The green passes are for this week.
Don't pay any attention to him.
Or we'll end up short.
The only way this business is going
to end up in the black is for me to run it.
Okay.
Orange for last week.
Green for this week.
Right.
Goodbye, Harvey.
Yes.
You devil, you.
Now, my son means well,
but there are special passes
that we must give to
certain people and
[WIZARD] I wish these guys
were my best friends because
they're going to be so
rich off this big, big, fab tune.
It's called "Disco Nights."
Let's hear it for GQ.
Let the spirit flow
all through your body
Just lend us an ear
Involve yourself, you're free to follow
And we'll take you there
You said you want to reach the sky
So get up
I'm in love!
Just walk into the place, Susan!
I don't care, I'm in love!
Alright, alright, with who?
I might settle for that half of the rink
Why do I have to have
a sister that's boy crazy?
What do you want, a
sister that's girl crazy?
Clever, clever
Richie, we don't have a chance
I just know I'm gonna get out in front
of this crowd and we're gonna freeze
- Will you knock it off?
- Yeah, yeah, knock it off and sign here, will ya please?
Do like the man said and sign in
And then get ready for
enormous tax problems
Yeah, well just don't go
gassing up the moped, pal
You know, I do alright
in the streets, but this
is Skatetown, USA You
know, these guys are pros
Yeah
But you guys are better
Because with my brains
and your moves and this
- You guys will be skate champs of LA
- Sounds great!
Hi!
What is that?
What's your name?
Kimmy, what's yours?
- Hi, I'm Susan
- Good, you know how to spell it?
Put it right ther, and put your last name
too, and your phone number and address.
Hey, what's your secret?
Experience.
Uh, Mr. Ross?
Yeah Hi, uh, before I started work
today, uh, you know, it's a month's time
I just wanted to kinda
thank you for hiring me
It's a, you know, we Vets, we have
a hard time getting a job sometimes
Yeah, yeah, well that's okay
I'm an ex-combat veteran myself.
- I was in Korea, 1952. Incheon.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, Yeah
- I was in SW- SWT?
Uh, simulated war training. We had
simulated bombs, simulated machine
guns, simulated barbed
wire, simulated radar.
The feeling's right
and the music's tight
On the disco night
The feeling's right
The music's tight
Disco night.
Disco night!
Let's Go!
Westside Rollers! Woo!
Charge!
[WIZARD] Hey, while you
kids are all getting bandaged up,
let's listen to Earth, Wind & Fire's
great Great hit, "Boogie Wonderland!"
Dance, boogie wonderland
Hey! Hey!
Dance, boogie wonderland
Midnight creeps so slowly into hearts
Of men who need more than they get
Daylight deals a bad hand
To a woman who has laid too many bets
The mirror stares you
in the face and says
"Baby, uh uh, it don't work"
You say your prayers,
though you don't care
You dance and shake the hurt
Stanley, will you get out here?
This is ridiculous.
The Lone Ranger!
Where's Tonto?
Well Tonto?
This is silly!
It's not silly.
Now look, I have this place
all figured out, all right?
And believe me, you got a much better
shot of winning if you wear that costume.
Oh, wait a minute, Rich.
I mean, what makes you
the expert all of a sudden?
You never stepped foot
in this place before tonight.
Well, I've never been to Mexico either.
But I do know that you
don't drink the water, right?
Then you gotta wear it.
Okay, look.
Let's put it this way.
No.
Stanley.
Stanley, old buddy.
Look, don't you want to win?
Huh?
I mean, think of the prizes.
The moped.
The trophy.
The thousand bucks.
Stanley, do you know what we
could do with a thousand bucks?
Yeah, but I'm just a street skater.
Stanley, will you forget
the street skater business?
Now you're the masked man.
Mysterious.
Every woman's dream.
The good guy.
The all-American hero.
Hey, listen.
If you get the munchies,
and who doesn't get those,
I want you to skate on
over and see my good
buddy Ben over at the
Skatetown USA snack bar.
He's got goodies and pizzas and everything.
He's got a special on pizza tonight.
All you can eat for $49.95.
That's right.
Excuse me.
Let me get Ah!
Oh, candy bar.
Who had the pizza?
Call me on Friday.
We'll pick up furniture, all right?
Hey, oh, I'm sorry.
Ah!
Nice Shirt.
[WIZARD] Mary Lou Schmidt, please
report to the front entrance
your father is here,
and boy, is he pissed.
I'm looking for Ripple.
Ripple.
I'm looking for Ripple.
I'm Ben.
You're Ben.
Where is Ripple?
Ripple's down there.
Okay, I'll go see him down there.
Thanks a lot.
Pizza with everything.
Pizza with everything?
I didn't order pizza with everything.
What do you got in there?
Well, this is holy water.
Don't worry.
It's holy water.
Hey.
Hey.
That's whiskey.
Oh, God.
It's a miracle.
Hey, how's it going, dude?
Pssst!
Hey!
Nipple?
Ripple.
Ripple!
Look, Sam sent me.
Shhhh.
What?
I love when you dominate.
Look.
I got the stuff.
Sam gave me the stuff,
and I was to contact you.
Are you ready?
- All right.
- All right, all right.
Hey, didn't I meet you in Pittsburgh?
I don't think so.
You ever been in Pittsburgh?
No.
Me neither.
It must have been two other guys.
Yeah.
Let me see it.
All right, I got a little bit of this.
Huh?
And I got a little bit of that.
Let me see that.
All right, that's 25 bucks.
- What's this?
- That's 35.
How much is this and that?
This and that would be 45, take away
two, add time seven, take away six.
Come on.
- 14 dollars.
- uh
Okay, it's a bargain.
Take both of them, man.
You got anything else?
Yeah, I got, I got, are you ready for this?
I got some of these.
Okay, hey, hey, give me that.
Give me that.
Put that sucker back in there.
Put that sucker back in there.
All right.
You don't see these until
I get the bread, all right?
Okay, I'll get the bread.
All right.
Whoa, hey, hey, you,
hey, hey, don't give me
Come on.
Oh, hey, hi.
How's it going, guys?
How's the family?
Everything?
Say hello to Sam.
[WIZARD] Your attention, please.
Terry Schlaughter
please come up to
my groovy disco booth
and claim your lost wallet.
and Terry, there was
only two dollars in it.
I swear to God, there was.
Stanley, Stanley.
No, just look the place over.
I mean, take it all in.
No, I know it's not the
San Fernando valley,
but you see here, you
can be whatever you want.
It's not the real world.
It's a fantasy, an illusion, a mirage.
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore...
Hey, Richie, look at that girl.
I take you just the way you are
Stanley?
Stanley?
Earth to Stan!
C'mon, you gotta stay with me.
Yeah, but she just smiled at me.
Look, Stanley, this is no time
to be thinking about women.
Hi, honey.
Excuse me.
conversation
Never want to work that hard
I just want someone
that I can talk to
Excuse me.
Did you guys see a beautiful
girl with long blonde hair? Yeah.
It was 56.
Long, flowing white dress.
Tube-top and jeans.
- I remember well. Staten Island Ferry.
- Uh-uh. Woodstock
How do y'all feel tonight?
[CROWD] We wanna boogie!
I didn't hear ya!
[CROWD] We wanna boogie!
Well here's the boogie man, Dave Mason!
Seems I got to have a change of scene
'Cuz every night I have
the strangest dream
Imprisoned by the
way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I got to leave before I start to scream
But someone locked
the door and took the keys
(Feelin' all right)
I'm not feelin' too good myself
Feelin' all right
I'm not feelin' too good myself
Oh, you sure took me for one big ride
And even now I sit and I wonder why
When I think of you, I
start myself to crying, girl
Just can't waste my
time, I must keep trying
I gotta stop believin' in all your lies
'Cause there's too much, there's too
much, there's too much to do before I die
Feelin' all right
I'm not feelin' too good myself
- Hi.
- Hi.
Would you like to buy a ticket?
Oh, no, I have two free tickets here.
My wife is outside parking the car.
She'll be right here.
Oh, no, no. See, it's orange tickets
last week, green tickets this week.
They're free tickets.
See, it says free tickets up here.
We're on a honeymoon.
Oh, did you just get married?
Yes.
Did you know that
marriage is the suppression
of women created by a
male-dominant society?
You see where it says free? It says
free tickets right here. See? Free tickets.
Yeah, but Harvey told me that it's orange
tickets last week, green tickets this week.
Look, they gave them to us on a game show.
See? Free tickets.
Oh, wow. When did you
do a game show?
Last week.
You see? Orange tickets last
week, green tickets this week.
- Green tickets. How much are the tickets here?
Five dollars.
Five dollars.
Each.
- Each?
- Mm-hmm.
Two five-dollar, free tickets, please.
C'mon, we should go back to the hotel.
That's without skates.
(Not feelin' too good myself)
(Feelin' all right)
(Not feelin' too good myself)
(Feelin' all right)
(I'm not feelin' too good myself)
[CROWD] Dave Mason!
Dave Mason!
Dave Mason!
Stanley, are you nuts?
Man, don't skate off like
that. This is a big night.
You're gonna give me
a heart attack.
Sorry. Hey, boy, you're right about this
place. I'm beginning to see things.
Gringo.
What you calling me?
I saw you skating today. You're new on
the side of the border, huh?
Oh, I get it. See, this is what we
call the old psych-out routine.
My name is Pedro Vandalito Jose,
Jose the Third. Pistol Pete for short.
The best skater in Southern California.
My clippings.
That's very impressive, but, uh, you can't
skate on newspaper clippings, you know?
Yeah, why don't you bring
your clippings over after
the contest and maybe I'll
autograph them for you, huh? Yeah.
Stanley, you're getting
the hang of it now.
Irwin.
Huh?
Listen, Irwin, I want
you to take this pin.
Oh.
Ooh.
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't want a pin.
Oh, but I want you to put your
locker key on it,
because I read about it in Roller magazine.
Couldn't we go back to the hotel?
This time I'll try not to get sick.
Well, maybe later.
This time I'll remember
to take my pantyhose off.
That would help.
Well, I'll meet you back
here in exactly five minutes.
Go!
- Ah!
- Oh, pardon me.
Five mintues.
Here's your sign-in sheet.
All right.
Let's see here, who do we have?
Heh, Uncle Sam!
Hey, he's over the hill.
He is the hill.
Hey, look, look, look.
Pistol Pete.
Oh, no.
Bang bang.
We can take care of his ass right now.
It's done.
It's done.
It's done.
Who's this guy, Stan Nelson?
Hey, let me see this.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Hey.
Excuse me, Ace.
I need the sign up
sheets for the contestants.
Excuse me, but there ain't
going to be no more contestants.
Or haven't you been
listening, huh?
Jimmy, pal
Who is this guy, Stan Nelson?
Look at how little his skates are.
Oh, he's new.
He's from the valley.
I've never seen him before.
The valley
All they got in the valley is smog.
Hey.
Maybe.
His wheels are made out of dime.
Hey, Jimmy, pal
Go find this Stan Nelson.
You tell him Ace and the boys
would like to make his acquaintance.
Oh, gee, Ace.
I
Go!
when you hold on to me
Hold on!
Right now, all I want you to do is
welcome the fabulous New Horizons.
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We're on the move!
Ain't no stoppin' us now
Here's your pizzas.
Ripple, stop eating those hot dogs.
I'm hungry.
Well, drop them.
Ripple, I said drop them!
Down!
Pizza, please.
Wow.
Can I help you?
Ripple, here. Finish them up.
I'll take care of this.
Hi, I'm the manager. Can I help you?
Are you in show business?
My cousin's sister-in-law is a personal
friend of Steppenwolf's road manager.
Can I have a pizza, please?
Yeah, but it'll be a couple of minutes.
You gonna eat that
pizza? I just had one.
I got enough gas to
take me to Pittsburgh.
My name's Leonard Barr.
Comedian, snappy dresser,
and all around good egg.
Minute I got in town, I
got off on the wrong foot.
Out in the cab as a lady cab driver.
She said, how far would you like to go?
My case comes up Tuesday.
Just my luck.
I went to see Guess Who's
coming to dinner twice.
I guessed wrong both times.
Can I have my pizza, please?
Ooh.
Ooh!
Ooh.
Ooh!
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We're on the move!
I know.
I know.
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We've got the groove!
We got it.
I know you know someone
that has a negative vow
and if you're trying to make
it they only push you aside.
They really don't have, nowhere to go.
Ask them where they're going
they don't know.
But we won't let nothin' hold us back
Ohhh Pancho!
Pancho, Cisco
You don't understand that.
Oh, no, no.
Come on, have some.
- Oh, no, you see, I can
- Take it!
Maybe just one, just to be friendly.
Smooth mellow, very good.
Maybe you'd like some.
- Thatta, boy.
- Mm-hmm.
Eleanor!
That's not bad shit.
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We've got the groove!
We got - we've got the groove!
Ain't no stoppin us now - ooh no!
Let's go over the routine.
Excuse me.
- You're Stan Nelson, right?
- That's right.
Well, I got a message
for you from the gang.
What gang?
What gang?
Where have you been?
The West Side Wheelers.
They got a message for you.
What, those guys in purple?
Yeah.
Skinny one with the beard's real cute.
Hey, it's the old
psych-out routine, Richie.
Come on, let's go.
You're learning, Stanley.
Hey.
Yeah.
The guy with the beard isn't cute.
And they're all for real.
Walkin' down by a mortuary.
Undertaker said, hey, Mr, how old are ya?
I told him.
He said, hardly worth goin' home, is it?
The other day I was comin' out of a
racetrack, some fella walked up behind me.
He says, hey, Mr, see any cops around?
I said, no, he says, stick him up.
Can I have my pizza, please?
I'm tellin' you, this guy's gonna try.
Come on, man.
No way is he gonna beat me.
Don't worry about it.
Is someone here lookin' for me?
Well, if it isn't Stan
Nelson from the Valley.
That's right.
His name's Ace.
Undefeated Ace Johnson.
Have a seat.
Right there.
It'd be my pleasure.
How about a seat for
my little sister, Suzie?
No sweat.
Let's go, let's go!
Heya, gang. How's it goin'?
Hi, beautiful.
This is the gang.
Gang, this is the Valley Boy.
Hello, gang.
Gang, this here's Richie, my manager.
Richie, this here's the gang.
Nice to see you.
- Hiya, Richie.
- Hi, Richie.
Well, here we are, one big happy family.
What do you want from the bar, Valley Boy?
Cola, root beer,
orange? It's on me.
Sorry, I don't do soft
drinks before I skate.
Sugar's bad for the timing.
Hey, sucker!
It ain't nice to refuse Ace when he's being
nice, because he ain't nice that often.
You got it!
Valley Boy doesn't know
about the West Side etiquette.
See the rules on this side of
town, things you gotta know.
Like number one, Skatetown is on my turf.
I make the rules, I win the contest,
I take home the trophy,
the dough, and the women.
What are you afraid of?
You got all the aces, Ace.
I got the whole deck, pal.
What you got without the bullshit?
Well maybe I got a better hand.
Don't beat Aces.
Maybe I got a royal flush.
You're bluffing.
I don't bluff.
Hey, he's a real
card, isn't he?
Yeah.
A regular three of clubs.
Sit down.
These guys are for real.
Sit down.
All right, go ahead, you skate tonight.
Hey, what the hell are you doing?
But if anything goes wrong, man,
don't say I didn't tell you the rules.
Hey, well, look who's here.
Hi, guys.
What the hell are you doing
here, little sister? Skating.
Skating.
Oh, very funny.
Go down and sit by Frankey.
Hey, Richie, that's the girl I saw.
Okay, now what I want
you to do is skate your eyes
over to the bandstand and check out the
wizardly magic of the Jerry Nista Skaters.
All right!
I don't know what's going happen to you, baby
But I do know that
You two know each other?
Yeah, well you better
stop knowing each other
Yeah, everybody's getting a
little too friendly around here.
Listen, Stanley, let's get out of here
These guys are for real, they're
not playing a role. Come on.
Hey, Valley Boy, remember
what I said about the rules?
I remember what you said, Ace
And I'm gonna break your
undefeated record, and I'm gonna win.
You ain't gonna win for
anybody, you got that?
- So long, handsome
- Get lost!
- Hey, you gonna let him talk to you like that?
- Yeah, what kind of jerk does he think he is?
Ace, just let me kill his friend, will ya?
Yeah, maybe a little pain won't
do him any harm, you know?
Well, calm down, everyone
Don't worry about the Valley Boy.
We'll take care of him
Right now, I gotta go pay
a visit to our pal, Harvey
You worried?
Hey, I don't get worried
You get worried, I don't get worried
- Hey, I'm not worried.
- Then get worried!
body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
What do you think I am, a
piece of meat or something, huh?
Why, I'll show you, you creep!
- What's tha meatter with you?
- Eleanor! Eleanor!
Now, will you listen to me for one second?
Those guys are for real.
They are not playing a game.
Those guys are dangerous.
Oh, come on, Richie, what
happened to the old, uh,
All-American hero and the
guy in the red, white, and blue?
Every woman's dream, huh?
Come on, have confidence in me.
Look at this
I've created a hero.
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Take it over!
Take it over!
[WIZARD] I thought
they were fantastic myself.
How about a big, big hand
for the Jerry Nista Skaters?
I'm sorry, excuse me, excuse
me, excuse me, I'm sorry, I beg
your pardon, I'm sorry, I'm not
my honeymoon, I was, I was
Pardon me, excuse me.
Watch out, Ace, these hands can kill.
Cool it, Harvey. I just came to
wish you a happy anniversary.
Thanks.
Hey, you know, Harvey.
I was thinking
It sure would be disappointing
if for some stupid reason
another contestant should happen
to foul up my undefeated record,
don't you think?
I know what you mean, Ace, and I assure you
that what you see will be what you'll get.
Yeah, yeah, and you know, I, and
also I really would hate to see these
photos fall into the hands of, say, a
citizens committee or your mother.
Ace, you wouldn't do that just
to win a contest, would you?
Remember, first place.
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
what's this about first place?
No fix, Skinktown USA never has had a fix.
Dad, dad, dad, before you
commit yourself, check these out.
Ah, that fish.
Hey, you know, are your lips parched?
Are your legs weary?
Is your stomach empty?
Do you need to have more energy?
Then why not skate over to the snack bar?
We have delicious food over there.
We have tuna fish malts and
buffalo lips on toast, smiling.
All right, it'll be.
Two pieces of pizza, please.
Yeah, take one, they're small.
Next.
Anybody here form a whole sentence?
Can I have another piece of pizza, please?
Yeah, got a dollar? I'll take it.
All right.
Irwin, do I have these on right?
Yeah, they're fine, okay?
Be careful.
Say, mama, you wanna skate?
Well, you see, I'm a
You see, the fact of
the matter is, that a oh!
The fact of the matter is what?
The fact of the matter is one of
those skates really wouldn't hurt.
Why don't you skate with the man?
Irwin, we're talking about our honeymoon.
We're talking about
my life. Skate with him.
Come on, skate.
Come on, woman, skate.
Ah!
Stop what you're doing.
We got a special surprise,
ladies and gentlemen.
The one and only,
incomparable, Maurice Cook.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, my son, Harvey.
Good evening, and welcome
to Skatetown. We hope
that your visit here
will be most enjoyable
Cut it, Mr Ross.
I believe you know Mrs.
Thorndike and my husband, Murray.
Murray! Didn't I loan you my raincoat
in the pussycat theater last week?
- Pussycat theater?
- Little joke, Murray. Little joke.
According to our source, this is a
den of iniquity of drugs, vice, and booze.
I am appalled at your insinuation.
You mean to tell me that you deny it?
I said I was appalled.
Mr. Ross, we are here to
inspect your establishment and
to convince the city council
to revoke your license.
Go ahead! Got ahead! Skatetown,
U.S.A. has nothing to hide!
Okay, now, I know this
is his first competition,
and that's why I'm offering
you two to one odds.
Now, what are you in for?
No way! Gentlemen, gentlemen,
two to one odds saying that my boy,
who has never been in a competition
before, beats everybody else!
Now, how can you beat those odds?
Now, what are you in for?
A hundred, thank you very much.
What are you guys doing?
Thank you, thank you.
Gentlemen, it was a pleasure
doing business with you.
Oh, lunch money. Thank you. Take care.
The salary they pay in
Las Vegas, Dean Martin,
$150,000 a week. What
good is that? It ain't steady.
And they're after your money
in Vegas, don't kid yourself.
There's slot machines in the toilets.
If you don't win, you don't go.
Can I have my pizza, please?
Roller music is the thunder beat
My heart is shaking the ground.
Roller girl, if you skate away
I'll get you next time around.
Roller girl
I'd roller skate
Whoa. Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh, oh, oh! Just spitting.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Here you go.
Don't get it on me.
Hey, you know you're beautiful
when you're angry? What's your name?
Oh, would you buzz off?
Buzz off? That's Hungarian, ain't it?
Would you get out of here, you
ugly, horrible, vile, smelly old sot?
You forgot perverted.
Hey, how'd you do that?
I'm celebrating my vasectomy.
Would you like a drink?
What are you spilling
all over me? It's booze.
B-O-Z, booze.
My heart is shaking the ground.
Roller girl, if you stayed away.
I'll get you next time around.
Roller girl
Booze has made my wife hate me.
It's made me lose many jobs.
It's made me sleep in a gutter.
It's made my kid hate me.
Why don't I give it one more chance?
Don't worry, it's only puppy love.
Would you like a drink?
No, no, I don't touch it.
It's only prune juice.
I'm going to have to have this
whole hour erased from my brain.
In all my years, I've
never been so mortified.
Oh, there you are.
Is everyone having a good time?
Oh, would you get out of here, you
all-American, immoral little pervert?
Don't you ever call me little!
Have a pizza, a compliments of the house.
Oh, Elvira, it looks so good.
And we haven't had our dinner yet.
Just a little piece?
Well, all right.
You can thank Harvey Ross for us.
But please tell him
that culinary bribes will
not influence our judgment
in any way whatsoever.
Yes, but we're going to have some anyway.
- What do I
- Don't grab!
Have a napkin here.
Would you stop whining and hurry
up and eat so we can get out of here?
Enjoy yourself.
Oh, it's good.
No luck at all. I taught my dog to eat by
the sound of the bell. He ate the Avon lady.
Look, I'll take it frozen.
[WIZARD] John Sebastian's big new hit, "Roller Girl."
Thank you, Johnny Baby.
I'm telling you, that song'll climb right
to the top of the charts with 25 bullets
you know what I mean?
[WIZARD] In case you guys are getting
a little hot out there on the rink,
watch out for this, because this is going
to be the hottest thing you've ever seen.
It's the Hot Wheelers!
(Boogie nights)
(Boogie nights)
Ain't no doubt we are here to party
(Boogie nights)
Come on now, got to get it started
Dance with the boogie get down
(Dance with the boogie get down)
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
(Boogie nights)
Get that groove, let it take you higher
(Boogie nights)
Make it move, set this place on fire
Dance with the boogie get down
(Dance with the boogie get down)
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
(Party night)
Can you show that you know how to do it?
(Boogie nights)
Do it to it
(Party night)
Settle down with the sounds of the music
(Groovy nights)
Music, music
(Boogie nights)
Feel so right when you got the feeling
(Boogie nights)
Hold it tight get to keep on dealing
Dance with the boogie get down
(Dance with the boogie get down)
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
- Hey, Richie, what do you think?
- Huh? Pretty good.
I'll be totally honest with you.
You guys are gonna kick ass.
Well, you know that isn't the problem.
We'll just kind of go through
this in a process of elimination.
You know, it might be
these heavy earrings
that put a lot of weight
on your cerebellum.
Ow!
Well, let's check out
and see how you breathe.
Test, test. This is a test.
For the next 60 seconds,
this station will be
conducting a test of the
emergency broadcast system.
eeeeeeeee
You know, the knee is a funny thing.
Look at that. Loose skin.
You've been getting too much sun.
It's my ankle.
Hmm. Sure is.
Oh.
Tourniquet, huh?
You've had this problem before.
Get rid of that.
Oh.
Don't touch me there.
Don't touch me there.
How about there?
Ohhhh, doctor!
They're landing! Johnson, they're landing!
I can see the lights!
Look out! The Cong are coming!
Quick! Lawrence Welk's got all the ammo!
Charlie's here!
Lawrence Welk is gonna take
over the southern perimeters!
Everybody out!
Get your guns!
- I'm wounded! I'm wounded!
- Sorry.
Sorry?
Is that what you say to a wounded man?
Remind me to have you booted
out of the platoon, Captain!
Everybody out!
I know he's around here
fooling around with somebody.
And I'm gonna catch him.
And I'm gonna break his face.
What I'm gonna do, I'm gonna hang
him up in the closet and forget about him.
I'll catch him. I know
he's in there somewhere.
I'm gonna find that
dude and chop him.
Jimmy!
Jimmy, you rat, you!
The minute I got to the back, the boss
took me to one side and left me there.
He said, listen, stupid.
He always called me listen.
My pizza, please!
Dance with the boogie get down
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
(Party night)
Can you show that you know how to do it?
(Boogie nights)
Do it to it
(Party night)
get on down with the sounds
Eleanor?
Eleanor!
What's the password?
Murphy! Down into the tunnel, man!
Ah!
Murphy! Thank God I found you, boy!
I thought you were
done in before breakfast!
Oh, I'm not M-M-M-M-Murphy!
Of course you're M-M-M-M-Murphy!
Murphy, you gotta get
back to the command post.
You gotta tell him I'm wounded! Look at
that! Simulated blood all over the place!
Oh, let me go!
Murphy, you're not acting
like you're yourself, boy!
I got something for you here.
This is something I found in
the bus depot this morning.
Come on, boy!
Bend over and show us your bum!
Oh, no! Don't do this, please. Please!
You're lucky!
I usually give these in the eyeball!
Oh, no! Oh!
I know it hurts a little bit!
Oh!
No worse than a mosquito, though!
Ow!
I don't want to play anymore!
Good! Go tell 'em I'm hurt! Take off!
Next!
Here we have right now,
for your entertainment
special, an extra bonus,
the unknown comic!
Gimme five!
Alright, you got change for a ten?
Hey, Harvey! Baby, I got a joke for
you that's gonna make your hair curl!
I heard it already!
I owe you ten bucks! What the hey!
Give Harvey a hand! Alright!
Good to see you
folks! I'd like to start off
by handing out some
8x10 pictures of myself!
Here you go!
I also got pictures of me as a baby!
Alright!
What is that? I'm telling you,
I just flew in from Las Vegas!
What a bummer, I got
airsick and nobody knew.
Here's your pizza.
- You know, they bet on anything in Vegas, you know.
- Keep the change.
I'm off Wednesday mornings.
Everybody gets married in Las Vegas.
As long as they're on the street,
they might as well go all the way.
I like to work in Las Vegas. You know why?
You meet a lot of celebrities.
One night, Colonel Sanders
was sitting right down front.
I was so impressed, I went
over and licked his fingers.
What am I talking to you for?
Where's the girls?
You know, it turned my stomach.
Boobs on my back.
Why do they spell sex S-E-X?
Because you can't spell
I'd like to start off with
a quick impression of the
first man to land on the sun.
Oh, shit.
Eleanor!
Eleanor, Please!
Murphy! Good God, boy, you got away.
- Why don't you head for the squadron?
- Not you again.
Please don't give
me another shot.
That's just our way of saying,
at Skatetown,
everything is our bag!
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!
What? I'm the, uh, disco doctor.
Oh, get down and Uh, is there
anything, uh, wrong? Can I help you?
No, nothing wrong with me.
There must be something wrong with you.
I don't know what you
mean, what's wrong with me.
My husband, James A. Ross, owns this place.
I am the owneress of this place.
I'm sorry, I just My son,
Harvey, runs the contest here.
I get all the free popcorn I want.
Skates, the shirts.
Everything I want in
here, I can get for nothing.
Will you ask me if I need some help?
Please don't come down on me so.
I'm kind of a war veteran.
I, my arm came off in the
war, and they put it on wrong.
I'm a little bit messed up.
You're sick! You should see your doctor.
I've got a cold, too.
Don't you
You're disgusting!
Sorry, I'm sorry.
You get that on me!
I'm gonna find Jimmy.
I'm gonna get rid of him.
Hey.
Hey!
Would you relax, man? Take it easy!
Yeah, yeah, all right, all right, all right.
You got everything?
Of course I got everything.
Got the mirror.
Shh, shh, shh.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Got the powder for Pistol Pete.
Powder?
Shh.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Oh, shh.
Da, da, da, da, da, da.
Powder? What the hell are
you talking about, powder?
My itching powder.
Shh.
He's gonna be scratching his ass.
Oh, no!
All right, all right.
And you just made Valley Boy
the number one, right? Yeah.
All right.
Frank?
Huh?
When can I kill his friend?
Later, Alphonse.
Later. Later. Later.
- Later, you promise.
- Yeah
All right. I swear I'm just gonna rip his heart out.
Just gonna take it.
Ah!
Yeah, well, give it to him
later, Alphonse. All right?
It is now time for the first annual
Skatetown USA Disco Roller Skating Contest.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Let me tell you what we've done, friends.
We put three extra coats of wax on
this floor tonight, so it'd be very fast.
Tonight, this floor is thicker
than my ex-wife's lawyer.
All I want you to have
in your head is winning.
Win. Win.
Say it, Stanley.
Win. Win. Win. Win.
Win. Win. Money. Win.
Tonight our contestants
will compete in two events.
The singles and
the mixed doubles.
They'll be no "mixing" during
the mixed doubles, though.
Your applause will determine who
our Skatetown champions will be.
You are the judges.
Okay. That's right.
That's right. That's right!
The only way Harvey would do it.
You are the judges
because you're my friends,
because you're the
ones helping with the rent.
Now, friends, we got a long
night ahead of us, so let's begin.
Our first contestant in
the singles competition
is one of Skatetown's
old favorites, Uncle Sam.
Come on, Uncle Sam.
Show us you really are over the hill.
[WIZARD] This is the wizard, saying
boy, what an idiot that guy is!
Thank you, Uncle Sam!
And our thanks to Gerald Ford
for the choreography!
Friends, patriotism is not dead!
It's on a ten minute break!
Hey, my name is
Pistol Pete, but you can
call me almost anything
you please, you know?
You probably feel my essence
just sitting right here, you know?
Most women I come in, they
immediately, they want me, they want me!
You're a kind of cute
kind of girl, you know?
Maybe later I'll let you play with my
pistolas, huh? You know what I mean?
Hey, I'm talking with a
lady here, can't you see?
Hey, man, man, I know, I
know, but I just wanted to come
by and wish you all the
luck in the world, you know?
And as they say in the show
business, break a leg, and I mean that!
Hey, thank you very much!
All right!
More, more powder to you, baby!
Power, power to you!
Come on, just go out there, do a good job!
Hey, you know those guys are okay!
Let us welcome another
of our Skatetown regulars,
our south of the border
regular, Pistol Pete!
Hey, that's me! You
know you stand up there
and I kill them. We
talk later, seorita, OK?
Ha ha!
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
Para bailar la bamba
Para bailar la bamba se necesita
una poca de gracia
Una poca de gracia yo
ta cosita, arriba y arriba
Ai arriba y arriba y arriba perde
Yo no soy habanera
Yo no soy habanera por ti ser
por ti ser por ti ser
Bamba la bamba bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba ba la bamba bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
It's not nice-a to mess-a with the Ace.
What'd that guy order?
Pizza.
Better turn up the oven.
Where's the oven?
It's over there.
[WIZARD] Arthur Baumgardner
You discard this, Jack.
[WIZARD] your
pantyhose have been found,
and they're now standing in the
corner of the snack bar. Thank you.
Those refried beans will get
you every time, won't they?
Our next contestant is Ace.
Hey, go get him, Ace!
Send your regards to Broadway.
Eleanor!
Eleanor, I thought I lost you forever.
Oh, Irwin!
What's that in your hair?
Oh, it's a comb.
Where'd you get it?
Donald gave it to me.
Donald?
Irwin!
Later, later.
Irwin! Irwin!
Call it.
Heads.
You lose.
Double or nothing.
Alright.
[WIZARD] Attention,
skaters, a word of caution:
the chef has just
informed me that tonight's
pizza contains a
high grade of pepperoni.
So remember, no splits
or playing leapfrog, please.
Our final contestant in the
singles is new to Skatetown.
Let's get your mask.
Get out there and show them what you got.
Come on.
Friends, let us welcome our new first
time here to Skatetown, Stan Nelson!
Oh, boy!
Stan Nelson!
Body (body), wanna feel
my body (wanna feel my body)
Body (baby), such a thrill,
my body (such a thrill, my body)
Body (yeh yeh), wanna touch
my body (wanna touch my body)
Body (baby), it's too much,
my body (it's too much, my body)
Body (yeh yeh), check it out,
my body (check it out, my body)
Body (baby), don't you doubt,
my body (don't you doubt, my body)
Body (yeh yeh), talking about
my body (talking about my body)
Body (well), checking
out my body (listen here)
Every man wants to
be a macho, macho man
To have the kind of
body always in demand
Joggin' every morning, go man go
Workout in the health spa, muscles grow
You can best believe
that he's a macho man
Ready to get down with anyone he can
Hey! Hey
C'mon, Valley Boy.
C'mon!
Macho, macho man (macho man, yeah)
I got to be a macho man
(I got to be a)
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I got to be a macho (oowh)
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I got to be a macho man
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I got to be a macho
Body (body), it's so hot,
my body (it's so hot, my body)
Body (baby), love to pump
my body (love to pump my body)
Body (yeah yeah), love to please
my body (love to please my body)
Body (baby), don't you tease
my body (don't you tease my body)
Body (yeah), you'll adore
my body (you'll adore my body)
Body (baby), come explore
my body (come explore my body)
Body (yeah yeah), made by God,
my body (made by God, my body)
Body (baby), it's so good, my
There's Charlie.
I'll blast him to Brazil.
No, you fool. I want him alive.
always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
Call him Mister Ego, dig his chains
You can best believe
that, he's a macho man
He likes to be the leader,
he never dresses grand
Oh, that hurt.
hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man, yeah)
I've got to be, a macho
man (I've got to be a)
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I've got to be a macho!
Wasn't that too much?
Oh, boy, let's give a big
hand to all of our contestants.
Okay, all the contestants.
Thank you.
It's a shame that I can only pick one
winner from these four great contestants.
But, friends, the loudest
and the longest applause
went to Skatetown, still
undefeated champion
Ace Johnson.
Way to go, Ace!
Hey, no thanks to you.
Listen, you better take
care of the doubles or else.
We'll go double or
nothing on the next event.
What do you say? Double or nothing.
What do you think?
Go for it.
Hey!
[WIZARD] I've been asked to announce
that the fire marshal has asked me to say,
please, no more than 426
people in line for pizza. Thank you.
Where'd you go, honey?
Thanks.
Me next.
Stanley, you won that by a long shot.
Don't worry about it.
I'll win the doubles.
Look, Claudine Longet.
Where?
Over there!
I thought that'd work.
Hey, beauty.
Kiss off, turkey.
Hey, come on, what'd I do?
You're a cheat.
Hey, come on. Will you hold
on a second? It's not me, it's Ace.
He'll do anything to win this contest.
That's why I'm here.
I'm here to apologize to you.
You are such a fox.
Hey, uh, can I get you anything?
Um, 7-Up and pizza?
Hmm. Yeah.
Carl Malden.
This is a groovy car, Frankey.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
Yeah
Yeah, I like it too.
I wonder whose it is.
[WIZARD] It's the wizard again
and if you can't see
me, it's because it's magic.
And here's a little more magic with
Dave Mason singing, "I Fell in Love."
Fly like the hawk
And run like the deer
And answer the question
That I have always feared
I fell in love
I fell in love
Over you
(over you)
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
(over you)
The sound of your beating heart
is pounding in my brain
The nights that we've spent in love
are living, just the same.
I fell in love
I fell in love
Over you
Fly like the hawk
And run like the deer
Answer the questions
I have always feared
I fell in love
I fell in love
I fell in love
Over you
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
Ooh
ooooooh
Everything's set.
Frankey's taking care
of the Valley Boy's sister.
So there ain't no way that little
twerp is gonna enter this competition.
All right.
Hey, you wanna piece?
- Another one?
- I'm hungry.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Hey, we're Susan, Richie.
We're almost on.
I thought she was with you.
Is this
What?
This is a good pizza.
Our next contestant is Ace
and his partner Charlene.
Under my thumb
there's a girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
a lady who once pushed me around
It's down to me
oh, yes it is
The diff'rence in the
clothes she wearsdown to me
the change has come,
she's under my thumb
Oh, ain't it the truth, babe?
Under my thumb
is a squirming dog
who's just had her day
Under my thumb
a girl who has just changed her ways
It's down to me
(it's down to me)
the way she does just what she's told
Down to me
the change has come,
she's under my thumb
She's under my thumb
It's down to me
(it's down to me)
the way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me
change has come, she's under my thumb
(Hey whatcha got onyour mind?)
Under my thumb
there's a Siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb
she's the sweetest
little pet in the world
It's down to me
(it's down to me)
the way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me
change has come, she's under my thumb
(under my thumb)
ain't it the truth, babe?
(under my thumb)
(under my thumb)
Okay, knock it off, knock it off.
Our final contestants are Stan
Nelson and his sister, Susan.
Okay, Stan and
Susan, where are ya?
Have you seen Stan and Susan?
Here it comes again.
Zoooooooooom
Okay, Stan and Susan.
If this is your
impression of the invisible
man and invisible
woman, we can't see it.
This is humiliating.
All right, I'll call it off.
As I said, earlier
Our final contestants
this is the last call for
the final contestants.
Oh, okay, here they are.
Stan and Susan Nelson.
What's going on?
You should've let me take care of 'em.
- You were supposed to take care of 'em, man.
- I would!
Hey, they won't do anything.
I mean, they haven't rehearsed.
I've seen a lot of
people take the floor.
But you, baby you're
a sight for sore eyes.
Ace made me
take you out here so that you couldn't
skate in the doubles.
I know before the night is through
I'll get to see what you can do.
Are you a lover or just a
perfect dancer?
Do you go deeper, baby?
What's the answer?
Are you a lover or just a
perfect dancer?
I wanna do it all with you.
Frankey
It takes a big man to admit a mistake.
My mind is telling me
that I can't wait
Oooh, there's thunder,
wait for lightning?
I need someone like you around
someone who know how to get down.
You are magic, the way you move,
and I'll do anything to prove
if you're a lover or just a
perfect dancer.
Do you go deeper, baby?
What's the answer?
Are you a lover or just a
perfect dancer?
I wanna do it all with you.
What a pleasant surprise! I
thought you were still on vacation.
You know, your eyes play
tricks on you with this light.
I didn't recognize you.
You didn't see me, did you?
Did I see you? Did I see you?
How could I miss you?
That's all right, James. I've known all
along you were too much man for one woman.
Well, that's right.
You know why I've known?
How? How?
Because I'm too much woman for one man.
Yes, yes, yes.
Now, most of you definitely start from
childhood. My case was interesting.
I came from poor and
poverty-stricken people.
No food in the house, no rugs
on the floor, no paint on the walls.
Then came the depression.
Can I have some pizza, please?
Oh, yeah. Uh, that'll be a dollar.
Here's one right here.
Here, I got it. Here you are. Right there.
Right there. Here you are, pal.
Send some up to my apartment. 3-D.
You got it.
See how old he was?
Who?
- That guy.
- What guy?
Yeah, well, how about all
these trips you've been on?
Oh, those trips to Newark
to see my mother?
Yeah.
They were not to see my mother, James.
I was just jiving.
No, no. That's right. No, James.
But that's all right. I understand.
Look, don't tell Harvey.
No, no.
He's not too much up on
contemporary relationships.
No, no. You can't tell Harvey.
James.
Yes?
You're still the greatest, though.
I know.
That's the end of our competition
and the start of our award ceremony.
First, the winner in the
singles, as we all know, is Ace!
I had a talk with Mom, and
we've come to an understanding.
So the contest
is fair and square.
Fair and square.
Okay. Hey, Dad.
Why don't you award the last trophy?
In the mixed doubles, the longest, loudest
applause went to Stan and Susan Nelson!
Hey, wait a minute! Wait a
minute, Valley Boy!
Come on, Ace, leave him alone.
Hey, I wasn't gonna do nothing.
I just wanted to come over and
congratulate him on his victory.
Say there's no hard feelings.
Thanks, Ace.
Of course.
All this means is that you won
a contest, and I won a contest.
We're even. Still doesn't
decide who's best in the city.
So right now, right in front of
everybody here at Skatetown,
I'd like to challenge you
to a race down the pier.
To decide who's number one.
All right, Stan. This has gone far enough.
Now listen to me. You won the
doubles. Let's get the hell out of here.
Hey, looks like Valley Boy's scared.
Hey, you can't be a
coward and be number one.
Okay, I'll make you a deal,
Ace. I'll meet you on the pier.
And if I lose, you
can have the trophy.
But if I win, you gotta
leave Allison alone.
I can't believe this.
Skates with motors on them, huh?
I can't leave you alone for five minutes.
So you took care of him?
Of course I took care of
him. Check your brake.
When he pulls that sucker.
Splash.
Hey, Valley Boy.
You know the rules.
The first one to cut their
engines is a chicken.
Okay, chicken.
Hey, hey, cut out the crap
Will you? We're here to find
out who the greatest
skater in Skatetown is.
Let's start the race.
Cut out the crap.
I brought Doc along in
case anybody gets hurt.
Yeah.
I'm gonna start the race.
Yeah. And anybody that cheats gets this:
Okay, let's start the race. Ready, set, go!
Yeah!
I almost ate it, didn't I?
Yeah.
You okay? Yeah.
Don't tell any of the
guys, okay? I won't.
I won't tell a soul. Just do one
thing. You gotta leave Allison alone.
Oh, I will, man. Look, I will. You're all
right, man. The Valley Boy is all right.
You know, I just don't
believe you. I insult you and
I cheat you and, man, I
even try to kill you, man.
And then you go
and save my life.
Why?
Well, I'm the hero.
I told you Skatetown is a place
of fantasy and a place of magic.
Hey, nobody leaves here the same
as when they came in. Just take a look.
Whoop, whoop
Uh-huh
Do you wanna get down?
Beep beep
yeah
Whoop, whoop
Uh-huh
Do you wanna get down?
Beep beep
yeah
Skatetown
a new place to boogie
put on your dancing wheels.
Everybody get down
and glide to the rhythm.
See how good it feels to be in
Skatetown,
(the capitol of disco)
hometown of rock and
rollin' on the dance floor.
Slide!
It's time to play now,
come on down to
Skatetown U.S.A.
(Skatetown)
this girl can do it every night.
(Skatetown)
Dancing under crystal light.
(Skatetown)
Ooh, I like the way it feels.
(Skatetown)
I've got to spend my life on wheels.
Everybody 'cuz it's time to groove
(get up)
Everybody let your body move
Turn, turn, turn to the music.
Can't you feel it?
Everybody
Burn, burn, burn with
the rhythm of the drum.
Do you wanna get down?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoo-ooh-ooh-hoo.
Whoop, whoop
Uh-huh
Do you wanna get down?
Beep beep
yeah
Skatetown
a new place to boogie
put on your dancing wheels.
Everybody get down
and glide to the rhythm.
See how good it feels to be in
Skatetown,
(the capitol of disco)
hometown of rock and
rollin' on the dance floor.
Slide!
It's time to play now,
come on down to
Skatetown U.S.A.
Jimmy!
[WIZARD] Remember, kids, we've got
Skatetown USAs opening up all over the country.
We're gonna have 'em in Texas,
South Dakota, Nebraska, New Jersey,
Louisiana, Oregon, Kentucky,
Zimbabwe, Rhodesia,
and the corner of Ninth and Olive. Okay!
(Skatetown)
I've got to spend my life on wheels.
(Skatetown)
Oh, I do it every night.
(Skatetown)
And that's the end of our story.
So you see, everyone finds romance
when they're dancing in a trance
shakin' in their pants
and takin' a chance.
So thanks for coming tonight, and
thanks for being part of our fantasy.
And remember, it's all just make-believe.
Quiet or I'll drop the place right now!
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Ask how it feels to be on those wheels
Wind in your hair, you got no cares
C'mon and join the song at Skatetown
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
There's many a slip
between the cup and the lip
and we all go through
life, taking many a trip
let's just roll along and hold
on to the song of Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Dream can come true there
magic moments are in the air.
The carousel turns
once you get together
all the boys and girls.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
Skatetown.
Skatetown. Goin' 'round and 'round.
There'll be no sad songs
spin your wheels and roll along.
There'll be no heartbreaks
here comes Crazy
Kate on her roller skates.
Ask how it feels to
be on those wheels
then, touched by a
spell, roll out of the shell
goin' 'round and 'round,
just dancing to the sound of
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin' 'round and 'round)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin')
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin' round and)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin' 'round and 'round)
Skatetown (Skatetown)
(Rollin')
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Oh, oh, U.S.A.)
(Skatetown)
(Skatetown!)
All right! Wake up, Skatetown, USA!
Hello there, palm trees!
Light up, pinballs!
Come on, we're going to get those kilowatts
moving and those light bulbs grooving!
Let's groove, light up,
turn sparkle and glitter!
Open your eyes, snack bar!
It's time for the magic to begin!
So hang on to your skates
and abraca whatever!
Presto, change-o! Let's go and have a ball!
Skaters, I hope you're
all having a groovy time!
We were born to be alive
We were born to be alive
Born, born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes, we were born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
Time was on my side when I
was running down the street
at four-to-five five five
A suitcase and an old
guitar and somewthing new
to occupy my
mind, mind, mind
Yes, we were born, born
Born to be alive
(Born to be alive)
Yes, we were born, born, born
(Born to be alive)
People ask me why I
never find a place to stop
and settle down, down, down
But I never wanted all those things
People need to justify
their lives, lives, lives
Yes, we were born, born, born
Whoa, look at this place.
Yeah.
Where's your sister?
Where she always is.
Talking to guys?
No, in the john.
Oh, you're doing excellent.
I must say.
Uh-oh, I took the wrong ticket again.
No.
You took the right ticket
because the suppression
of women, we must
follow through with that.
Right?
Dad. Dad!
Yeah, yeah.
Do you have to hit on every
broad who comes into the place?
Can't you be cool?
Are you forgetting about mom?
You're right, son.
I am forgetting mom.
Now, Teri.
Dad.
Please.
Okay?
Now, Teri, I noticed you're
letting people in for free.
All this stuff has to be paid for.
The lights.
The band.
All this has to be paid for.
Now, please collect the passes.
The orange tickets are for last week.
All right.
The green ones are for this week.
But gee, Harvey.
You see, Jimmy told
me that historically the
suppression of women
has meant less wages,
i.e., less time for entertainment.
It's obvious you're very well-informed
regarding the suppression of women.
Where you're having difficulty is
remembering the colors of the passes.
See, the orange passes are for last week.
The green passes are for this week.
Okay?
The orange passes are for last week.
The green passes are for this week.
Don't pay any attention to him.
Or we'll end up short.
The only way this business is going
to end up in the black is for me to run it.
Okay.
Orange for last week.
Green for this week.
Right.
Goodbye, Harvey.
Yes.
You devil, you.
Now, my son means well,
but there are special passes
that we must give to
certain people and
[WIZARD] I wish these guys
were my best friends because
they're going to be so
rich off this big, big, fab tune.
It's called "Disco Nights."
Let's hear it for GQ.
Let the spirit flow
all through your body
Just lend us an ear
Involve yourself, you're free to follow
And we'll take you there
You said you want to reach the sky
So get up
I'm in love!
Just walk into the place, Susan!
I don't care, I'm in love!
Alright, alright, with who?
I might settle for that half of the rink
Why do I have to have
a sister that's boy crazy?
What do you want, a
sister that's girl crazy?
Clever, clever
Richie, we don't have a chance
I just know I'm gonna get out in front
of this crowd and we're gonna freeze
- Will you knock it off?
- Yeah, yeah, knock it off and sign here, will ya please?
Do like the man said and sign in
And then get ready for
enormous tax problems
Yeah, well just don't go
gassing up the moped, pal
You know, I do alright
in the streets, but this
is Skatetown, USA You
know, these guys are pros
Yeah
But you guys are better
Because with my brains
and your moves and this
- You guys will be skate champs of LA
- Sounds great!
Hi!
What is that?
What's your name?
Kimmy, what's yours?
- Hi, I'm Susan
- Good, you know how to spell it?
Put it right ther, and put your last name
too, and your phone number and address.
Hey, what's your secret?
Experience.
Uh, Mr. Ross?
Yeah Hi, uh, before I started work
today, uh, you know, it's a month's time
I just wanted to kinda
thank you for hiring me
It's a, you know, we Vets, we have
a hard time getting a job sometimes
Yeah, yeah, well that's okay
I'm an ex-combat veteran myself.
- I was in Korea, 1952. Incheon.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, Yeah
- I was in SW- SWT?
Uh, simulated war training. We had
simulated bombs, simulated machine
guns, simulated barbed
wire, simulated radar.
The feeling's right
and the music's tight
On the disco night
The feeling's right
The music's tight
Disco night.
Disco night!
Let's Go!
Westside Rollers! Woo!
Charge!
[WIZARD] Hey, while you
kids are all getting bandaged up,
let's listen to Earth, Wind & Fire's
great Great hit, "Boogie Wonderland!"
Dance, boogie wonderland
Hey! Hey!
Dance, boogie wonderland
Midnight creeps so slowly into hearts
Of men who need more than they get
Daylight deals a bad hand
To a woman who has laid too many bets
The mirror stares you
in the face and says
"Baby, uh uh, it don't work"
You say your prayers,
though you don't care
You dance and shake the hurt
Stanley, will you get out here?
This is ridiculous.
The Lone Ranger!
Where's Tonto?
Well Tonto?
This is silly!
It's not silly.
Now look, I have this place
all figured out, all right?
And believe me, you got a much better
shot of winning if you wear that costume.
Oh, wait a minute, Rich.
I mean, what makes you
the expert all of a sudden?
You never stepped foot
in this place before tonight.
Well, I've never been to Mexico either.
But I do know that you
don't drink the water, right?
Then you gotta wear it.
Okay, look.
Let's put it this way.
No.
Stanley.
Stanley, old buddy.
Look, don't you want to win?
Huh?
I mean, think of the prizes.
The moped.
The trophy.
The thousand bucks.
Stanley, do you know what we
could do with a thousand bucks?
Yeah, but I'm just a street skater.
Stanley, will you forget
the street skater business?
Now you're the masked man.
Mysterious.
Every woman's dream.
The good guy.
The all-American hero.
Hey, listen.
If you get the munchies,
and who doesn't get those,
I want you to skate on
over and see my good
buddy Ben over at the
Skatetown USA snack bar.
He's got goodies and pizzas and everything.
He's got a special on pizza tonight.
All you can eat for $49.95.
That's right.
Excuse me.
Let me get Ah!
Oh, candy bar.
Who had the pizza?
Call me on Friday.
We'll pick up furniture, all right?
Hey, oh, I'm sorry.
Ah!
Nice Shirt.
[WIZARD] Mary Lou Schmidt, please
report to the front entrance
your father is here,
and boy, is he pissed.
I'm looking for Ripple.
Ripple.
I'm looking for Ripple.
I'm Ben.
You're Ben.
Where is Ripple?
Ripple's down there.
Okay, I'll go see him down there.
Thanks a lot.
Pizza with everything.
Pizza with everything?
I didn't order pizza with everything.
What do you got in there?
Well, this is holy water.
Don't worry.
It's holy water.
Hey.
Hey.
That's whiskey.
Oh, God.
It's a miracle.
Hey, how's it going, dude?
Pssst!
Hey!
Nipple?
Ripple.
Ripple!
Look, Sam sent me.
Shhhh.
What?
I love when you dominate.
Look.
I got the stuff.
Sam gave me the stuff,
and I was to contact you.
Are you ready?
- All right.
- All right, all right.
Hey, didn't I meet you in Pittsburgh?
I don't think so.
You ever been in Pittsburgh?
No.
Me neither.
It must have been two other guys.
Yeah.
Let me see it.
All right, I got a little bit of this.
Huh?
And I got a little bit of that.
Let me see that.
All right, that's 25 bucks.
- What's this?
- That's 35.
How much is this and that?
This and that would be 45, take away
two, add time seven, take away six.
Come on.
- 14 dollars.
- uh
Okay, it's a bargain.
Take both of them, man.
You got anything else?
Yeah, I got, I got, are you ready for this?
I got some of these.
Okay, hey, hey, give me that.
Give me that.
Put that sucker back in there.
Put that sucker back in there.
All right.
You don't see these until
I get the bread, all right?
Okay, I'll get the bread.
All right.
Whoa, hey, hey, you,
hey, hey, don't give me
Come on.
Oh, hey, hi.
How's it going, guys?
How's the family?
Everything?
Say hello to Sam.
[WIZARD] Your attention, please.
Terry Schlaughter
please come up to
my groovy disco booth
and claim your lost wallet.
and Terry, there was
only two dollars in it.
I swear to God, there was.
Stanley, Stanley.
No, just look the place over.
I mean, take it all in.
No, I know it's not the
San Fernando valley,
but you see here, you
can be whatever you want.
It's not the real world.
It's a fantasy, an illusion, a mirage.
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore...
Hey, Richie, look at that girl.
I take you just the way you are
Stanley?
Stanley?
Earth to Stan!
C'mon, you gotta stay with me.
Yeah, but she just smiled at me.
Look, Stanley, this is no time
to be thinking about women.
Hi, honey.
Excuse me.
conversation
Never want to work that hard
I just want someone
that I can talk to
Excuse me.
Did you guys see a beautiful
girl with long blonde hair? Yeah.
It was 56.
Long, flowing white dress.
Tube-top and jeans.
- I remember well. Staten Island Ferry.
- Uh-uh. Woodstock
How do y'all feel tonight?
[CROWD] We wanna boogie!
I didn't hear ya!
[CROWD] We wanna boogie!
Well here's the boogie man, Dave Mason!
Seems I got to have a change of scene
'Cuz every night I have
the strangest dream
Imprisoned by the
way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I got to leave before I start to scream
But someone locked
the door and took the keys
(Feelin' all right)
I'm not feelin' too good myself
Feelin' all right
I'm not feelin' too good myself
Oh, you sure took me for one big ride
And even now I sit and I wonder why
When I think of you, I
start myself to crying, girl
Just can't waste my
time, I must keep trying
I gotta stop believin' in all your lies
'Cause there's too much, there's too
much, there's too much to do before I die
Feelin' all right
I'm not feelin' too good myself
- Hi.
- Hi.
Would you like to buy a ticket?
Oh, no, I have two free tickets here.
My wife is outside parking the car.
She'll be right here.
Oh, no, no. See, it's orange tickets
last week, green tickets this week.
They're free tickets.
See, it says free tickets up here.
We're on a honeymoon.
Oh, did you just get married?
Yes.
Did you know that
marriage is the suppression
of women created by a
male-dominant society?
You see where it says free? It says
free tickets right here. See? Free tickets.
Yeah, but Harvey told me that it's orange
tickets last week, green tickets this week.
Look, they gave them to us on a game show.
See? Free tickets.
Oh, wow. When did you
do a game show?
Last week.
You see? Orange tickets last
week, green tickets this week.
- Green tickets. How much are the tickets here?
Five dollars.
Five dollars.
Each.
- Each?
- Mm-hmm.
Two five-dollar, free tickets, please.
C'mon, we should go back to the hotel.
That's without skates.
(Not feelin' too good myself)
(Feelin' all right)
(Not feelin' too good myself)
(Feelin' all right)
(I'm not feelin' too good myself)
[CROWD] Dave Mason!
Dave Mason!
Dave Mason!
Stanley, are you nuts?
Man, don't skate off like
that. This is a big night.
You're gonna give me
a heart attack.
Sorry. Hey, boy, you're right about this
place. I'm beginning to see things.
Gringo.
What you calling me?
I saw you skating today. You're new on
the side of the border, huh?
Oh, I get it. See, this is what we
call the old psych-out routine.
My name is Pedro Vandalito Jose,
Jose the Third. Pistol Pete for short.
The best skater in Southern California.
My clippings.
That's very impressive, but, uh, you can't
skate on newspaper clippings, you know?
Yeah, why don't you bring
your clippings over after
the contest and maybe I'll
autograph them for you, huh? Yeah.
Stanley, you're getting
the hang of it now.
Irwin.
Huh?
Listen, Irwin, I want
you to take this pin.
Oh.
Ooh.
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't want a pin.
Oh, but I want you to put your
locker key on it,
because I read about it in Roller magazine.
Couldn't we go back to the hotel?
This time I'll try not to get sick.
Well, maybe later.
This time I'll remember
to take my pantyhose off.
That would help.
Well, I'll meet you back
here in exactly five minutes.
Go!
- Ah!
- Oh, pardon me.
Five mintues.
Here's your sign-in sheet.
All right.
Let's see here, who do we have?
Heh, Uncle Sam!
Hey, he's over the hill.
He is the hill.
Hey, look, look, look.
Pistol Pete.
Oh, no.
Bang bang.
We can take care of his ass right now.
It's done.
It's done.
It's done.
Who's this guy, Stan Nelson?
Hey, let me see this.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Hey.
Excuse me, Ace.
I need the sign up
sheets for the contestants.
Excuse me, but there ain't
going to be no more contestants.
Or haven't you been
listening, huh?
Jimmy, pal
Who is this guy, Stan Nelson?
Look at how little his skates are.
Oh, he's new.
He's from the valley.
I've never seen him before.
The valley
All they got in the valley is smog.
Hey.
Maybe.
His wheels are made out of dime.
Hey, Jimmy, pal
Go find this Stan Nelson.
You tell him Ace and the boys
would like to make his acquaintance.
Oh, gee, Ace.
I
Go!
when you hold on to me
Hold on!
Right now, all I want you to do is
welcome the fabulous New Horizons.
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We're on the move!
Ain't no stoppin' us now
Here's your pizzas.
Ripple, stop eating those hot dogs.
I'm hungry.
Well, drop them.
Ripple, I said drop them!
Down!
Pizza, please.
Wow.
Can I help you?
Ripple, here. Finish them up.
I'll take care of this.
Hi, I'm the manager. Can I help you?
Are you in show business?
My cousin's sister-in-law is a personal
friend of Steppenwolf's road manager.
Can I have a pizza, please?
Yeah, but it'll be a couple of minutes.
You gonna eat that
pizza? I just had one.
I got enough gas to
take me to Pittsburgh.
My name's Leonard Barr.
Comedian, snappy dresser,
and all around good egg.
Minute I got in town, I
got off on the wrong foot.
Out in the cab as a lady cab driver.
She said, how far would you like to go?
My case comes up Tuesday.
Just my luck.
I went to see Guess Who's
coming to dinner twice.
I guessed wrong both times.
Can I have my pizza, please?
Ooh.
Ooh!
Ooh.
Ooh!
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We're on the move!
I know.
I know.
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We've got the groove!
We got it.
I know you know someone
that has a negative vow
and if you're trying to make
it they only push you aside.
They really don't have, nowhere to go.
Ask them where they're going
they don't know.
But we won't let nothin' hold us back
Ohhh Pancho!
Pancho, Cisco
You don't understand that.
Oh, no, no.
Come on, have some.
- Oh, no, you see, I can
- Take it!
Maybe just one, just to be friendly.
Smooth mellow, very good.
Maybe you'd like some.
- Thatta, boy.
- Mm-hmm.
Eleanor!
That's not bad shit.
Ain't no stoppin' us now
We've got the groove!
We got - we've got the groove!
Ain't no stoppin us now - ooh no!
Let's go over the routine.
Excuse me.
- You're Stan Nelson, right?
- That's right.
Well, I got a message
for you from the gang.
What gang?
What gang?
Where have you been?
The West Side Wheelers.
They got a message for you.
What, those guys in purple?
Yeah.
Skinny one with the beard's real cute.
Hey, it's the old
psych-out routine, Richie.
Come on, let's go.
You're learning, Stanley.
Hey.
Yeah.
The guy with the beard isn't cute.
And they're all for real.
Walkin' down by a mortuary.
Undertaker said, hey, Mr, how old are ya?
I told him.
He said, hardly worth goin' home, is it?
The other day I was comin' out of a
racetrack, some fella walked up behind me.
He says, hey, Mr, see any cops around?
I said, no, he says, stick him up.
Can I have my pizza, please?
I'm tellin' you, this guy's gonna try.
Come on, man.
No way is he gonna beat me.
Don't worry about it.
Is someone here lookin' for me?
Well, if it isn't Stan
Nelson from the Valley.
That's right.
His name's Ace.
Undefeated Ace Johnson.
Have a seat.
Right there.
It'd be my pleasure.
How about a seat for
my little sister, Suzie?
No sweat.
Let's go, let's go!
Heya, gang. How's it goin'?
Hi, beautiful.
This is the gang.
Gang, this is the Valley Boy.
Hello, gang.
Gang, this here's Richie, my manager.
Richie, this here's the gang.
Nice to see you.
- Hiya, Richie.
- Hi, Richie.
Well, here we are, one big happy family.
What do you want from the bar, Valley Boy?
Cola, root beer,
orange? It's on me.
Sorry, I don't do soft
drinks before I skate.
Sugar's bad for the timing.
Hey, sucker!
It ain't nice to refuse Ace when he's being
nice, because he ain't nice that often.
You got it!
Valley Boy doesn't know
about the West Side etiquette.
See the rules on this side of
town, things you gotta know.
Like number one, Skatetown is on my turf.
I make the rules, I win the contest,
I take home the trophy,
the dough, and the women.
What are you afraid of?
You got all the aces, Ace.
I got the whole deck, pal.
What you got without the bullshit?
Well maybe I got a better hand.
Don't beat Aces.
Maybe I got a royal flush.
You're bluffing.
I don't bluff.
Hey, he's a real
card, isn't he?
Yeah.
A regular three of clubs.
Sit down.
These guys are for real.
Sit down.
All right, go ahead, you skate tonight.
Hey, what the hell are you doing?
But if anything goes wrong, man,
don't say I didn't tell you the rules.
Hey, well, look who's here.
Hi, guys.
What the hell are you doing
here, little sister? Skating.
Skating.
Oh, very funny.
Go down and sit by Frankey.
Hey, Richie, that's the girl I saw.
Okay, now what I want
you to do is skate your eyes
over to the bandstand and check out the
wizardly magic of the Jerry Nista Skaters.
All right!
I don't know what's going happen to you, baby
But I do know that
You two know each other?
Yeah, well you better
stop knowing each other
Yeah, everybody's getting a
little too friendly around here.
Listen, Stanley, let's get out of here
These guys are for real, they're
not playing a role. Come on.
Hey, Valley Boy, remember
what I said about the rules?
I remember what you said, Ace
And I'm gonna break your
undefeated record, and I'm gonna win.
You ain't gonna win for
anybody, you got that?
- So long, handsome
- Get lost!
- Hey, you gonna let him talk to you like that?
- Yeah, what kind of jerk does he think he is?
Ace, just let me kill his friend, will ya?
Yeah, maybe a little pain won't
do him any harm, you know?
Well, calm down, everyone
Don't worry about the Valley Boy.
We'll take care of him
Right now, I gotta go pay
a visit to our pal, Harvey
You worried?
Hey, I don't get worried
You get worried, I don't get worried
- Hey, I'm not worried.
- Then get worried!
body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
What do you think I am, a
piece of meat or something, huh?
Why, I'll show you, you creep!
- What's tha meatter with you?
- Eleanor! Eleanor!
Now, will you listen to me for one second?
Those guys are for real.
They are not playing a game.
Those guys are dangerous.
Oh, come on, Richie, what
happened to the old, uh,
All-American hero and the
guy in the red, white, and blue?
Every woman's dream, huh?
Come on, have confidence in me.
Look at this
I've created a hero.
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Shake your body down to the ground
Let's dance, let's shout (shout)
Take it over!
Take it over!
[WIZARD] I thought
they were fantastic myself.
How about a big, big hand
for the Jerry Nista Skaters?
I'm sorry, excuse me, excuse
me, excuse me, I'm sorry, I beg
your pardon, I'm sorry, I'm not
my honeymoon, I was, I was
Pardon me, excuse me.
Watch out, Ace, these hands can kill.
Cool it, Harvey. I just came to
wish you a happy anniversary.
Thanks.
Hey, you know, Harvey.
I was thinking
It sure would be disappointing
if for some stupid reason
another contestant should happen
to foul up my undefeated record,
don't you think?
I know what you mean, Ace, and I assure you
that what you see will be what you'll get.
Yeah, yeah, and you know, I, and
also I really would hate to see these
photos fall into the hands of, say, a
citizens committee or your mother.
Ace, you wouldn't do that just
to win a contest, would you?
Remember, first place.
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
what's this about first place?
No fix, Skinktown USA never has had a fix.
Dad, dad, dad, before you
commit yourself, check these out.
Ah, that fish.
Hey, you know, are your lips parched?
Are your legs weary?
Is your stomach empty?
Do you need to have more energy?
Then why not skate over to the snack bar?
We have delicious food over there.
We have tuna fish malts and
buffalo lips on toast, smiling.
All right, it'll be.
Two pieces of pizza, please.
Yeah, take one, they're small.
Next.
Anybody here form a whole sentence?
Can I have another piece of pizza, please?
Yeah, got a dollar? I'll take it.
All right.
Irwin, do I have these on right?
Yeah, they're fine, okay?
Be careful.
Say, mama, you wanna skate?
Well, you see, I'm a
You see, the fact of
the matter is, that a oh!
The fact of the matter is what?
The fact of the matter is one of
those skates really wouldn't hurt.
Why don't you skate with the man?
Irwin, we're talking about our honeymoon.
We're talking about
my life. Skate with him.
Come on, skate.
Come on, woman, skate.
Ah!
Stop what you're doing.
We got a special surprise,
ladies and gentlemen.
The one and only,
incomparable, Maurice Cook.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, my son, Harvey.
Good evening, and welcome
to Skatetown. We hope
that your visit here
will be most enjoyable
Cut it, Mr Ross.
I believe you know Mrs.
Thorndike and my husband, Murray.
Murray! Didn't I loan you my raincoat
in the pussycat theater last week?
- Pussycat theater?
- Little joke, Murray. Little joke.
According to our source, this is a
den of iniquity of drugs, vice, and booze.
I am appalled at your insinuation.
You mean to tell me that you deny it?
I said I was appalled.
Mr. Ross, we are here to
inspect your establishment and
to convince the city council
to revoke your license.
Go ahead! Got ahead! Skatetown,
U.S.A. has nothing to hide!
Okay, now, I know this
is his first competition,
and that's why I'm offering
you two to one odds.
Now, what are you in for?
No way! Gentlemen, gentlemen,
two to one odds saying that my boy,
who has never been in a competition
before, beats everybody else!
Now, how can you beat those odds?
Now, what are you in for?
A hundred, thank you very much.
What are you guys doing?
Thank you, thank you.
Gentlemen, it was a pleasure
doing business with you.
Oh, lunch money. Thank you. Take care.
The salary they pay in
Las Vegas, Dean Martin,
$150,000 a week. What
good is that? It ain't steady.
And they're after your money
in Vegas, don't kid yourself.
There's slot machines in the toilets.
If you don't win, you don't go.
Can I have my pizza, please?
Roller music is the thunder beat
My heart is shaking the ground.
Roller girl, if you skate away
I'll get you next time around.
Roller girl
I'd roller skate
Whoa. Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh, oh, oh! Just spitting.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Here you go.
Don't get it on me.
Hey, you know you're beautiful
when you're angry? What's your name?
Oh, would you buzz off?
Buzz off? That's Hungarian, ain't it?
Would you get out of here, you
ugly, horrible, vile, smelly old sot?
You forgot perverted.
Hey, how'd you do that?
I'm celebrating my vasectomy.
Would you like a drink?
What are you spilling
all over me? It's booze.
B-O-Z, booze.
My heart is shaking the ground.
Roller girl, if you stayed away.
I'll get you next time around.
Roller girl
Booze has made my wife hate me.
It's made me lose many jobs.
It's made me sleep in a gutter.
It's made my kid hate me.
Why don't I give it one more chance?
Don't worry, it's only puppy love.
Would you like a drink?
No, no, I don't touch it.
It's only prune juice.
I'm going to have to have this
whole hour erased from my brain.
In all my years, I've
never been so mortified.
Oh, there you are.
Is everyone having a good time?
Oh, would you get out of here, you
all-American, immoral little pervert?
Don't you ever call me little!
Have a pizza, a compliments of the house.
Oh, Elvira, it looks so good.
And we haven't had our dinner yet.
Just a little piece?
Well, all right.
You can thank Harvey Ross for us.
But please tell him
that culinary bribes will
not influence our judgment
in any way whatsoever.
Yes, but we're going to have some anyway.
- What do I
- Don't grab!
Have a napkin here.
Would you stop whining and hurry
up and eat so we can get out of here?
Enjoy yourself.
Oh, it's good.
No luck at all. I taught my dog to eat by
the sound of the bell. He ate the Avon lady.
Look, I'll take it frozen.
[WIZARD] John Sebastian's big new hit, "Roller Girl."
Thank you, Johnny Baby.
I'm telling you, that song'll climb right
to the top of the charts with 25 bullets
you know what I mean?
[WIZARD] In case you guys are getting
a little hot out there on the rink,
watch out for this, because this is going
to be the hottest thing you've ever seen.
It's the Hot Wheelers!
(Boogie nights)
(Boogie nights)
Ain't no doubt we are here to party
(Boogie nights)
Come on now, got to get it started
Dance with the boogie get down
(Dance with the boogie get down)
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
(Boogie nights)
Get that groove, let it take you higher
(Boogie nights)
Make it move, set this place on fire
Dance with the boogie get down
(Dance with the boogie get down)
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
(Party night)
Can you show that you know how to do it?
(Boogie nights)
Do it to it
(Party night)
Settle down with the sounds of the music
(Groovy nights)
Music, music
(Boogie nights)
Feel so right when you got the feeling
(Boogie nights)
Hold it tight get to keep on dealing
Dance with the boogie get down
(Dance with the boogie get down)
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
- Hey, Richie, what do you think?
- Huh? Pretty good.
I'll be totally honest with you.
You guys are gonna kick ass.
Well, you know that isn't the problem.
We'll just kind of go through
this in a process of elimination.
You know, it might be
these heavy earrings
that put a lot of weight
on your cerebellum.
Ow!
Well, let's check out
and see how you breathe.
Test, test. This is a test.
For the next 60 seconds,
this station will be
conducting a test of the
emergency broadcast system.
eeeeeeeee
You know, the knee is a funny thing.
Look at that. Loose skin.
You've been getting too much sun.
It's my ankle.
Hmm. Sure is.
Oh.
Tourniquet, huh?
You've had this problem before.
Get rid of that.
Oh.
Don't touch me there.
Don't touch me there.
How about there?
Ohhhh, doctor!
They're landing! Johnson, they're landing!
I can see the lights!
Look out! The Cong are coming!
Quick! Lawrence Welk's got all the ammo!
Charlie's here!
Lawrence Welk is gonna take
over the southern perimeters!
Everybody out!
Get your guns!
- I'm wounded! I'm wounded!
- Sorry.
Sorry?
Is that what you say to a wounded man?
Remind me to have you booted
out of the platoon, Captain!
Everybody out!
I know he's around here
fooling around with somebody.
And I'm gonna catch him.
And I'm gonna break his face.
What I'm gonna do, I'm gonna hang
him up in the closet and forget about him.
I'll catch him. I know
he's in there somewhere.
I'm gonna find that
dude and chop him.
Jimmy!
Jimmy, you rat, you!
The minute I got to the back, the boss
took me to one side and left me there.
He said, listen, stupid.
He always called me listen.
My pizza, please!
Dance with the boogie get down
'Cuz boogie nights are always the best in town
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing
(Party night)
Can you show that you know how to do it?
(Boogie nights)
Do it to it
(Party night)
get on down with the sounds
Eleanor?
Eleanor!
What's the password?
Murphy! Down into the tunnel, man!
Ah!
Murphy! Thank God I found you, boy!
I thought you were
done in before breakfast!
Oh, I'm not M-M-M-M-Murphy!
Of course you're M-M-M-M-Murphy!
Murphy, you gotta get
back to the command post.
You gotta tell him I'm wounded! Look at
that! Simulated blood all over the place!
Oh, let me go!
Murphy, you're not acting
like you're yourself, boy!
I got something for you here.
This is something I found in
the bus depot this morning.
Come on, boy!
Bend over and show us your bum!
Oh, no! Don't do this, please. Please!
You're lucky!
I usually give these in the eyeball!
Oh, no! Oh!
I know it hurts a little bit!
Oh!
No worse than a mosquito, though!
Ow!
I don't want to play anymore!
Good! Go tell 'em I'm hurt! Take off!
Next!
Here we have right now,
for your entertainment
special, an extra bonus,
the unknown comic!
Gimme five!
Alright, you got change for a ten?
Hey, Harvey! Baby, I got a joke for
you that's gonna make your hair curl!
I heard it already!
I owe you ten bucks! What the hey!
Give Harvey a hand! Alright!
Good to see you
folks! I'd like to start off
by handing out some
8x10 pictures of myself!
Here you go!
I also got pictures of me as a baby!
Alright!
What is that? I'm telling you,
I just flew in from Las Vegas!
What a bummer, I got
airsick and nobody knew.
Here's your pizza.
- You know, they bet on anything in Vegas, you know.
- Keep the change.
I'm off Wednesday mornings.
Everybody gets married in Las Vegas.
As long as they're on the street,
they might as well go all the way.
I like to work in Las Vegas. You know why?
You meet a lot of celebrities.
One night, Colonel Sanders
was sitting right down front.
I was so impressed, I went
over and licked his fingers.
What am I talking to you for?
Where's the girls?
You know, it turned my stomach.
Boobs on my back.
Why do they spell sex S-E-X?
Because you can't spell
I'd like to start off with
a quick impression of the
first man to land on the sun.
Oh, shit.
Eleanor!
Eleanor, Please!
Murphy! Good God, boy, you got away.
- Why don't you head for the squadron?
- Not you again.
Please don't give
me another shot.
That's just our way of saying,
at Skatetown,
everything is our bag!
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!
What? I'm the, uh, disco doctor.
Oh, get down and Uh, is there
anything, uh, wrong? Can I help you?
No, nothing wrong with me.
There must be something wrong with you.
I don't know what you
mean, what's wrong with me.
My husband, James A. Ross, owns this place.
I am the owneress of this place.
I'm sorry, I just My son,
Harvey, runs the contest here.
I get all the free popcorn I want.
Skates, the shirts.
Everything I want in
here, I can get for nothing.
Will you ask me if I need some help?
Please don't come down on me so.
I'm kind of a war veteran.
I, my arm came off in the
war, and they put it on wrong.
I'm a little bit messed up.
You're sick! You should see your doctor.
I've got a cold, too.
Don't you
You're disgusting!
Sorry, I'm sorry.
You get that on me!
I'm gonna find Jimmy.
I'm gonna get rid of him.
Hey.
Hey!
Would you relax, man? Take it easy!
Yeah, yeah, all right, all right, all right.
You got everything?
Of course I got everything.
Got the mirror.
Shh, shh, shh.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Got the powder for Pistol Pete.
Powder?
Shh.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Oh, shh.
Da, da, da, da, da, da.
Powder? What the hell are
you talking about, powder?
My itching powder.
Shh.
He's gonna be scratching his ass.
Oh, no!
All right, all right.
And you just made Valley Boy
the number one, right? Yeah.
All right.
Frank?
Huh?
When can I kill his friend?
Later, Alphonse.
Later. Later. Later.
- Later, you promise.
- Yeah
All right. I swear I'm just gonna rip his heart out.
Just gonna take it.
Ah!
Yeah, well, give it to him
later, Alphonse. All right?
It is now time for the first annual
Skatetown USA Disco Roller Skating Contest.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Let me tell you what we've done, friends.
We put three extra coats of wax on
this floor tonight, so it'd be very fast.
Tonight, this floor is thicker
than my ex-wife's lawyer.
All I want you to have
in your head is winning.
Win. Win.
Say it, Stanley.
Win. Win. Win. Win.
Win. Win. Money. Win.
Tonight our contestants
will compete in two events.
The singles and
the mixed doubles.
They'll be no "mixing" during
the mixed doubles, though.
Your applause will determine who
our Skatetown champions will be.
You are the judges.
Okay. That's right.
That's right. That's right!
The only way Harvey would do it.
You are the judges
because you're my friends,
because you're the
ones helping with the rent.
Now, friends, we got a long
night ahead of us, so let's begin.
Our first contestant in
the singles competition
is one of Skatetown's
old favorites, Uncle Sam.
Come on, Uncle Sam.
Show us you really are over the hill.
[WIZARD] This is the wizard, saying
boy, what an idiot that guy is!
Thank you, Uncle Sam!
And our thanks to Gerald Ford
for the choreography!
Friends, patriotism is not dead!
It's on a ten minute break!
Hey, my name is
Pistol Pete, but you can
call me almost anything
you please, you know?
You probably feel my essence
just sitting right here, you know?
Most women I come in, they
immediately, they want me, they want me!
You're a kind of cute
kind of girl, you know?
Maybe later I'll let you play with my
pistolas, huh? You know what I mean?
Hey, I'm talking with a
lady here, can't you see?
Hey, man, man, I know, I
know, but I just wanted to come
by and wish you all the
luck in the world, you know?
And as they say in the show
business, break a leg, and I mean that!
Hey, thank you very much!
All right!
More, more powder to you, baby!
Power, power to you!
Come on, just go out there, do a good job!
Hey, you know those guys are okay!
Let us welcome another
of our Skatetown regulars,
our south of the border
regular, Pistol Pete!
Hey, that's me! You
know you stand up there
and I kill them. We
talk later, seorita, OK?
Ha ha!
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
(Bamba la bamba)
Para bailar la bamba
Para bailar la bamba se necesita
una poca de gracia
Una poca de gracia yo
ta cosita, arriba y arriba
Ai arriba y arriba y arriba perde
Yo no soy habanera
Yo no soy habanera por ti ser
por ti ser por ti ser
Bamba la bamba bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba ba la bamba bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba bamba la bamba
It's not nice-a to mess-a with the Ace.
What'd that guy order?
Pizza.
Better turn up the oven.
Where's the oven?
It's over there.
[WIZARD] Arthur Baumgardner
You discard this, Jack.
[WIZARD] your
pantyhose have been found,
and they're now standing in the
corner of the snack bar. Thank you.
Those refried beans will get
you every time, won't they?
Our next contestant is Ace.
Hey, go get him, Ace!
Send your regards to Broadway.
Eleanor!
Eleanor, I thought I lost you forever.
Oh, Irwin!
What's that in your hair?
Oh, it's a comb.
Where'd you get it?
Donald gave it to me.
Donald?
Irwin!
Later, later.
Irwin! Irwin!
Call it.
Heads.
You lose.
Double or nothing.
Alright.
[WIZARD] Attention,
skaters, a word of caution:
the chef has just
informed me that tonight's
pizza contains a
high grade of pepperoni.
So remember, no splits
or playing leapfrog, please.
Our final contestant in the
singles is new to Skatetown.
Let's get your mask.
Get out there and show them what you got.
Come on.
Friends, let us welcome our new first
time here to Skatetown, Stan Nelson!
Oh, boy!
Stan Nelson!
Body (body), wanna feel
my body (wanna feel my body)
Body (baby), such a thrill,
my body (such a thrill, my body)
Body (yeh yeh), wanna touch
my body (wanna touch my body)
Body (baby), it's too much,
my body (it's too much, my body)
Body (yeh yeh), check it out,
my body (check it out, my body)
Body (baby), don't you doubt,
my body (don't you doubt, my body)
Body (yeh yeh), talking about
my body (talking about my body)
Body (well), checking
out my body (listen here)
Every man wants to
be a macho, macho man
To have the kind of
body always in demand
Joggin' every morning, go man go
Workout in the health spa, muscles grow
You can best believe
that he's a macho man
Ready to get down with anyone he can
Hey! Hey
C'mon, Valley Boy.
C'mon!
Macho, macho man (macho man, yeah)
I got to be a macho man
(I got to be a)
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I got to be a macho (oowh)
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I got to be a macho man
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I got to be a macho
Body (body), it's so hot,
my body (it's so hot, my body)
Body (baby), love to pump
my body (love to pump my body)
Body (yeah yeah), love to please
my body (love to please my body)
Body (baby), don't you tease
my body (don't you tease my body)
Body (yeah), you'll adore
my body (you'll adore my body)
Body (baby), come explore
my body (come explore my body)
Body (yeah yeah), made by God,
my body (made by God, my body)
Body (baby), it's so good, my
There's Charlie.
I'll blast him to Brazil.
No, you fool. I want him alive.
always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
Call him Mister Ego, dig his chains
You can best believe
that, he's a macho man
He likes to be the leader,
he never dresses grand
Oh, that hurt.
hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man, yeah)
I've got to be, a macho
man (I've got to be a)
Macho, macho man (yeah)
I've got to be a macho!
Wasn't that too much?
Oh, boy, let's give a big
hand to all of our contestants.
Okay, all the contestants.
Thank you.
It's a shame that I can only pick one
winner from these four great contestants.
But, friends, the loudest
and the longest applause
went to Skatetown, still
undefeated champion
Ace Johnson.
Way to go, Ace!
Hey, no thanks to you.
Listen, you better take
care of the doubles or else.
We'll go double or
nothing on the next event.
What do you say? Double or nothing.
What do you think?
Go for it.
Hey!
[WIZARD] I've been asked to announce
that the fire marshal has asked me to say,
please, no more than 426
people in line for pizza. Thank you.
Where'd you go, honey?
Thanks.
Me next.
Stanley, you won that by a long shot.
Don't worry about it.
I'll win the doubles.
Look, Claudine Longet.
Where?
Over there!
I thought that'd work.
Hey, beauty.
Kiss off, turkey.
Hey, come on, what'd I do?
You're a cheat.
Hey, come on. Will you hold
on a second? It's not me, it's Ace.
He'll do anything to win this contest.
That's why I'm here.
I'm here to apologize to you.
You are such a fox.
Hey, uh, can I get you anything?
Um, 7-Up and pizza?
Hmm. Yeah.
Carl Malden.
This is a groovy car, Frankey.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
Yeah
Yeah, I like it too.
I wonder whose it is.
[WIZARD] It's the wizard again
and if you can't see
me, it's because it's magic.
And here's a little more magic with
Dave Mason singing, "I Fell in Love."
Fly like the hawk
And run like the deer
And answer the question
That I have always feared
I fell in love
I fell in love
Over you
(over you)
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
(over you)
The sound of your beating heart
is pounding in my brain
The nights that we've spent in love
are living, just the same.
I fell in love
I fell in love
Over you
Fly like the hawk
And run like the deer
Answer the questions
I have always feared
I fell in love
I fell in love
I fell in love
Over you
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
Over you
(over you)
Ooh
ooooooh
Everything's set.
Frankey's taking care
of the Valley Boy's sister.
So there ain't no way that little
twerp is gonna enter this competition.
All right.
Hey, you wanna piece?
- Another one?
- I'm hungry.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Hey, we're Susan, Richie.
We're almost on.
I thought she was with you.
Is this
What?
This is a good pizza.
Our next contestant is Ace
and his partner Charlene.
Under my thumb
there's a girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
a lady who once pushed me around
It's down to me
oh, yes it is
The diff'rence in the
clothes she wearsdown to me
the change has come,
she's under my thumb
Oh, ain't it the truth, babe?
Under my thumb
is a squirming dog
who's just had her day
Under my thumb
a girl who has just changed her ways
It's down to me
(it's down to me)
the way she does just what she's told
Down to me
the change has come,
she's under my thumb
She's under my thumb
It's down to me
(it's down to me)
the way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me
change has come, she's under my thumb
(Hey whatcha got onyour mind?)
Under my thumb
there's a Siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb
she's the sweetest
little pet in the world
It's down to me
(it's down to me)
the way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me
change has come, she's under my thumb
(under my thumb)
ain't it the truth, babe?
(under my thumb)
(under my thumb)
Okay, knock it off, knock it off.
Our final contestants are Stan
Nelson and his sister, Susan.
Okay, Stan and
Susan, where are ya?
Have you seen Stan and Susan?
Here it comes again.
Zoooooooooom
Okay, Stan and Susan.
If this is your
impression of the invisible
man and invisible
woman, we can't see it.
This is humiliating.
All right, I'll call it off.
As I said, earlier
Our final contestants
this is the last call for
the final contestants.
Oh, okay, here they are.
Stan and Susan Nelson.
What's going on?
You should've let me take care of 'em.
- You were supposed to take care of 'em, man.
- I would!
Hey, they won't do anything.
I mean, they haven't rehearsed.
I've seen a lot of
people take the floor.
But you, baby you're
a sight for sore eyes.
Ace made me
take you out here so that you couldn't
skate in the doubles.
I know before the night is through
I'll get to see what you can do.
Are you a lover or just a
perfect dancer?
Do you go deeper, baby?
What's the answer?
Are you a lover or just a
perfect dancer?
I wanna do it all with you.
Frankey
It takes a big man to admit a mistake.
My mind is telling me
that I can't wait
Oooh, there's thunder,
wait for lightning?
I need someone like you around
someone who know how to get down.
You are magic, the way you move,
and I'll do anything to prove
if you're a lover or just a
perfect dancer.
Do you go deeper, baby?
What's the answer?
Are you a lover or just a
perfect dancer?
I wanna do it all with you.
What a pleasant surprise! I
thought you were still on vacation.
You know, your eyes play
tricks on you with this light.
I didn't recognize you.
You didn't see me, did you?
Did I see you? Did I see you?
How could I miss you?
That's all right, James. I've known all
along you were too much man for one woman.
Well, that's right.
You know why I've known?
How? How?
Because I'm too much woman for one man.
Yes, yes, yes.
Now, most of you definitely start from
childhood. My case was interesting.
I came from poor and
poverty-stricken people.
No food in the house, no rugs
on the floor, no paint on the walls.
Then came the depression.
Can I have some pizza, please?
Oh, yeah. Uh, that'll be a dollar.
Here's one right here.
Here, I got it. Here you are. Right there.
Right there. Here you are, pal.
Send some up to my apartment. 3-D.
You got it.
See how old he was?
Who?
- That guy.
- What guy?
Yeah, well, how about all
these trips you've been on?
Oh, those trips to Newark
to see my mother?
Yeah.
They were not to see my mother, James.
I was just jiving.
No, no. That's right. No, James.
But that's all right. I understand.
Look, don't tell Harvey.
No, no.
He's not too much up on
contemporary relationships.
No, no. You can't tell Harvey.
James.
Yes?
You're still the greatest, though.
I know.
That's the end of our competition
and the start of our award ceremony.
First, the winner in the
singles, as we all know, is Ace!
I had a talk with Mom, and
we've come to an understanding.
So the contest
is fair and square.
Fair and square.
Okay. Hey, Dad.
Why don't you award the last trophy?
In the mixed doubles, the longest, loudest
applause went to Stan and Susan Nelson!
Hey, wait a minute! Wait a
minute, Valley Boy!
Come on, Ace, leave him alone.
Hey, I wasn't gonna do nothing.
I just wanted to come over and
congratulate him on his victory.
Say there's no hard feelings.
Thanks, Ace.
Of course.
All this means is that you won
a contest, and I won a contest.
We're even. Still doesn't
decide who's best in the city.
So right now, right in front of
everybody here at Skatetown,
I'd like to challenge you
to a race down the pier.
To decide who's number one.
All right, Stan. This has gone far enough.
Now listen to me. You won the
doubles. Let's get the hell out of here.
Hey, looks like Valley Boy's scared.
Hey, you can't be a
coward and be number one.
Okay, I'll make you a deal,
Ace. I'll meet you on the pier.
And if I lose, you
can have the trophy.
But if I win, you gotta
leave Allison alone.
I can't believe this.
Skates with motors on them, huh?
I can't leave you alone for five minutes.
So you took care of him?
Of course I took care of
him. Check your brake.
When he pulls that sucker.
Splash.
Hey, Valley Boy.
You know the rules.
The first one to cut their
engines is a chicken.
Okay, chicken.
Hey, hey, cut out the crap
Will you? We're here to find
out who the greatest
skater in Skatetown is.
Let's start the race.
Cut out the crap.
I brought Doc along in
case anybody gets hurt.
Yeah.
I'm gonna start the race.
Yeah. And anybody that cheats gets this:
Okay, let's start the race. Ready, set, go!
Yeah!
I almost ate it, didn't I?
Yeah.
You okay? Yeah.
Don't tell any of the
guys, okay? I won't.
I won't tell a soul. Just do one
thing. You gotta leave Allison alone.
Oh, I will, man. Look, I will. You're all
right, man. The Valley Boy is all right.
You know, I just don't
believe you. I insult you and
I cheat you and, man, I
even try to kill you, man.
And then you go
and save my life.
Why?
Well, I'm the hero.
I told you Skatetown is a place
of fantasy and a place of magic.
Hey, nobody leaves here the same
as when they came in. Just take a look.
Whoop, whoop
Uh-huh
Do you wanna get down?
Beep beep
yeah
Whoop, whoop
Uh-huh
Do you wanna get down?
Beep beep
yeah
Skatetown
a new place to boogie
put on your dancing wheels.
Everybody get down
and glide to the rhythm.
See how good it feels to be in
Skatetown,
(the capitol of disco)
hometown of rock and
rollin' on the dance floor.
Slide!
It's time to play now,
come on down to
Skatetown U.S.A.
(Skatetown)
this girl can do it every night.
(Skatetown)
Dancing under crystal light.
(Skatetown)
Ooh, I like the way it feels.
(Skatetown)
I've got to spend my life on wheels.
Everybody 'cuz it's time to groove
(get up)
Everybody let your body move
Turn, turn, turn to the music.
Can't you feel it?
Everybody
Burn, burn, burn with
the rhythm of the drum.
Do you wanna get down?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoo-ooh-ooh-hoo.
Whoop, whoop
Uh-huh
Do you wanna get down?
Beep beep
yeah
Skatetown
a new place to boogie
put on your dancing wheels.
Everybody get down
and glide to the rhythm.
See how good it feels to be in
Skatetown,
(the capitol of disco)
hometown of rock and
rollin' on the dance floor.
Slide!
It's time to play now,
come on down to
Skatetown U.S.A.
Jimmy!
[WIZARD] Remember, kids, we've got
Skatetown USAs opening up all over the country.
We're gonna have 'em in Texas,
South Dakota, Nebraska, New Jersey,
Louisiana, Oregon, Kentucky,
Zimbabwe, Rhodesia,
and the corner of Ninth and Olive. Okay!
(Skatetown)
I've got to spend my life on wheels.
(Skatetown)
Oh, I do it every night.
(Skatetown)
And that's the end of our story.
So you see, everyone finds romance
when they're dancing in a trance
shakin' in their pants
and takin' a chance.
So thanks for coming tonight, and
thanks for being part of our fantasy.
And remember, it's all just make-believe.
Quiet or I'll drop the place right now!