Skurkarnas skurk (2026) Movie Script
Air traffic control,
countdown confirmed.
...seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one.
Guy!
Help! The villain
of villains is here!
Don't panic.
Fantastica is on its way!
-Die, die, die! -Honey...
Next.
Hi! I would like to withdraw
some cash, if that is okay?
-Of course. -Shit good.
Get down on the ground,
okay! Nobody moves!
Down to earth...!
Be quiet, it will work out!
I mean it! Open the box!
Bring them! Bring the money!
Open the box!
Cash! Cash! Hurry up!
-What the hell?
-Stay here. I'll be right back.
-Fantastic? -No...
Piss me in the ear...
Is it just you?
-Losers' losers.
-Do something! Shoot her!
Well, a Jean-Claude Van Damme.
So, a super split.
-I have a family. I have a family!
-Look what I found.
-A bazooka.
-No, I don't want to...
Kill me.
-No, no... -Hit her!
I'm okay.
No...!
-Hello. -Hello.
Hello. My name is Ties.
Now I'm going to
smash your face in.
All children probably think
their mothers are superheroes.
You saved us. Thank you!
But in my case, it
was a little more literal.
-She's on her way. -Who?
The villain of villains.
-I have to take care of this.
-I want to come.
Now, my little hero, I have a task for you.
Get little brother home to daddy. Okay?
You are so brave.
I love you.
I love you.
That was the last
time I saw her.
My mother sacrificed her life to save
the world from the villain of villains.
Oh, fantastic...
But I haven't let
her death break me.
Instead, I have chosen to be like her
and apply to... The School of Heroes.
Do you want to develop
your superpowers?
Train your skills?
Do you have what it
takes to save the world?
Apply to the Hero School!
My name is Stephanie, I'm
12 years old and very explosive.
Targeted, very targeted.
And I have mental powers,
just like my mother had.
I know that my powers have
great development potential.
HERO SCHOOL UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO
SEND
THANK YOU FOR YOUR APPLICATION
-A crustless meal for my gold nugget.
-Thank you very much, Dad.
-I passed the entrance exam!
-Congratulations, sweetie. Oh, how wonderful.
Hooray for Stephanie! She's going
to be a mighty hero just like me!
Maybe not as strong, but
still! Well done, Stephanie!
I'm so happy I don't know
what to do with my feelings!
I'll get them out by force!
-Where did you get it from?
-Your room.
-It's as ugly as you.
-Idiot! I got it from my mother.
It's as ugly as you, Stephanie!
You're so ugly, Stephanie!
-Whoa, whoa! Stephanie, no, no.
-Pelle-Buster, take the pacifier.
-Now remember what the counselor said.
-Yes.
If you're going to Hero School, you
have to learn to manage your anger.
So now we'll take a deep breath,
and then we'll count together, okay?
-Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
-Fuck you, Stephanie. Fuck you!
Pelle-Buster. Fire...
-Stop looking at my paper.
-Stephanie.
What did we say about cheating?
You're really good at math.
-You can get into the mathematics department.
-I'm going to the Hero School.
-It'll probably go well. -Kaisa.
It's just such a shame her mother
didn't let her have some of her powers.
So, I guess we'll see you at
the entrance exam tomorrow?
Mom, look! I'm exactly like you!
Come on!
-It's actually almost bedtime.
-I have to work out.
-If this doesn't work...
-It should work!
The supervisor said that this can happen if
you are going through something difficult.
I know I can make it work again.
-I just mean you shouldn't...
-Yes!
It's my only chance to
prove everyone wrong.
-And that I can be a hero as a mother.
-Dad! Blow her!
No matter what happens, you should know
that I am very proud of you, Stephanie.
-Okay? -Far?
Stephanie!
-Stephanie, beat those whores!
-Pelle-Buster!
-That's not how we talk.
-What are you going to do?
-You must not hit a child.
-You should go inside and brush your teeth.
No! I have almost no teeth.
My baby teeth are falling out.
I don't see the point
in brushing them.
-It's bedtime. -No!
I would have jumped on our lot
if we could afford a trampoline.
You are so poor, father...
Hey, dad.
-Have you had anything float recently?
-Yes.
Well...?
-Are you five years old or what?
-Stephanie?
Hello.
Sorry, but that's a fucking...
-Stephanie? -Hello.
Thorkel.
It'll be cool to see
what you can do.
If you have just a fraction of
your mother's strength, you'll go far.
Without her, we
wouldn't be here today.
Then the villain of villains might
have survived and taken over the world.
But toodeloody, Trudy. Here we
are. Wonderful. Are you in shock?
-I'm rooting for you.
-Thank you.
See you out there. Torkel.
Yes! Let's go! I'm so excited.
Welcome! Today is the
selection for the Hero School.
But first, let me introduce the
principal of the Hero School, Hera!
Welcome, welcome, everyone!
I just have to smash something.
Not!
Now let me introduce
Metamorphosis!
The transformation artist
and his magic crystal.
Look at him when he dances
He's going to be
a nice little lamp.
Now let's have some fun, kids.
He becomes a
flabby, little fir tree
Okay! Oh, yeah!
High kick! Over here!
In, in, in, in, spread dem
And hop And now he's
becoming a cool little donkey
Yes! Then we will
proceed with the selection.
First the physical
test. Good luck.
Come on, you bastard! Come on!
Then come down,
you deformed cat...!
-Unfortunately! You couldn't save the cat.
-Put me down, you disgusting bundle of muscles!
Next candidate: Kaisa Blixt.
Time to beat: Two
minutes and 30 seconds.
The track is as follows:
Up to the obstacle, through the
forest, up to the smoking inspector
and back to save the cat.
Good luck.
And then she's off! Fantastic.
Smoking kills.
Holy fuckadoodelydoo! Ja!
I love cats!
Ship ohj and flying bananas!
New track record by Kajsa Blixt.
35 seconds.
The next participant
is Stephanie Mindler.
Her mother was a legend.
Participant ready.
Good luck, loser.
And then she's off.
"Up and over." Come on!
More than half the
time has passed.
There is about a minute left.
Shoot me. Yes!
Now she enters the finish line.
There are ten seconds
left. Will she make it?
Nine, eight, seven,
six, five...
Yes!
Sorry! You are
disqualified for cheating.
Are you kidding me? I made it.
Bite!
I just had to get the cat down.
It didn't have to be alive. Idiots.
There's no point in beating time
when you're smashing the obstacle,
lights the cigarette
and the cat is dead.
-It's not dead. -It's half dead.
-Can't I get another chance?
-Not another word from you.
Don't you hear what she's
saying, you freak? Get out of here.
You will never be a hero.
Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six...
Your mother would
be ashamed of you.
Men...
Shut up, how stupid are they...
Piss me in the ear!
Damn it! Uh, well. Where is it?
There! Like that, yes.
Shut up, it's so cold.
Fuck.
Psst! Hello?
Hi. I like what you did.
Excuse me, but who are you?
My name is AK. I work
for the School of Villains.
-The school of villains?
-Come down here and I'll tell you more.
So, either you're a troll
or you're a pedophile.
I'm not a pedophile, and I'm not a troll
either. Can't you just come down here?
-What is the School of Villains?
-Do you like to skip school?
Fight? Chop things?
Unlimited screen time?
All prominent bandits have
started their criminal careers with us.
And I think you would
fit in well with us.
-No thanks.
-Take it. If you change your mind.
Hi! I just wanted to say that
I got into the Hero School.
There I go. OMG,
it's just going to be...
Stop smiling.
So, so. Oh, little pussy...
Even though it doesn't feel
like it right now, Stephanie,
then you can actually have a
really good and pretty cool life
without being a hero.
I mean, just look at me.
I have a good job, which
is kind of safe and nice.
-I have two absolutely amazing kids.
-Stephanie! You're a loser!
-Do you hear? You're a loser!
-Shut up!
I'm ready! I'm ready to
be the head of the family!
You shouldn't get
upset about that.
Dad? Damn, there were
bubbles in the water!
It's Stephanie! Stephanie
is trying to poison me, Dad!
-Dad, there's something else in the water.
-I'll be right there.
There is a brown fish...
I need to talk to everyone who
was involved in the selection.
-Is Stephanie home?
-Can I retake the entrance exam?
What a great idea. Pack your bags, we're
leaving. No, that's not why we're here.
-What's this about?
-It's a bit strange. This is Metamorphosis.
His power of transformation
resides in the crystal around his neck.
But it was stolen
during the removal.
Before he could
become himself again.
-He's a bit stuck in the donkey stage now.
-Well then?
It's urgent. He wants
to use the toilet.
-The toilet? It's down there on the left.
-That's damn good.
-Should I take him with me?
-Yes, help him.
-What about the hooves? Does he flush it out?
-You'll find out.
Well, this is the way.
Stephanie, listen to me.
This is serious. If the crystal falls into
the wrong hands, it can cause great damage.
If I were to theoretically
find the crystal and return it,
Would I get a place
at the Hero School?
Did you see anything?
Piss me in the ear!
No, no.
Well, if you were to theoretically
find the crystal and give it back to us,
then you have my word that you
have a place at the School of Heroes.
But if...there's something
you're not telling me, Stephanie...
-Then you're screwed. Do you hear?
-Yes.
What? No. No!
HONORABLE VILLAIN
Stephanie! You're no longer
my sister if you turn villainous!
You don't understand. I'm
just pretending to be a villain.
I start at the School of Villains
and find out who stole the crystal,
finds the crystal, gives it to Metamorphosis
and starts at the School of Heroes.
-What a great idea, Stephanie! Not!
-I don't know, Stephanie.
That sounds like a very vague
theory and also wildly dangerous.
You said you'd be proud of me
no matter what school I choose.
No, he's lying! Stephanie,
you have to promise me...to die!
Be quiet! We heard you!
-Okay? -Okay...
-Promise me you're... -Hello?
-Here. -Yes, sorry.
Promise me you'll be careful.
-Yes, Dad. Don't worry. -Good.
Come here.
-Daddy's little piggy.
-Now don't say piggy.
In Puttegri.
"Honorable villain."
"Take the train Tyv-3000 to the School of
Villains from Molnby on August 18th at 9:34."
"Say goodbye to morals, ethics and above
all, respect for the property of others."
-What's up, you fucking scumbags?
-Shut up, Sven, you stupid ass.
-I'll call you later.
-Oh, you won't.
-Hi, my name is Sven.
-Stephanie.
-What's going on, Steffi?
-Nothing, Svenni.
The train Thief-3000
is arriving now.
If you miss the
train, you're done!
Faster!
Come on, Stephanie!
Not.
I knew I would make a
friend at Villain School.
-But not that it happened so quickly.
-I'm not your friend.
VILLAIN? HOW GOOD
ARE YOU AT LYING?
Good morning. Love and joy.
My name is Spliff, and I'm
taking you to the School of Villains.
I would also say that...
Well, now I've forgotten what
I wanted to say. Booyakasha.
It's going to be so cool,
but I'm a little nervous.
Everyone in my family has
gone to the School of Villains.
Shut up now!
Look who it is.
It's Rosmilda Miltenton!
Her father is a legend.
-Oops. -Off.
-Excuse me. Was my head in the way?
-You could say that.
What the hell
are you staring at?
What's up, you
little motherfucker!
Then it's the final stop. Good
luck, all children. Booyakasha.
Take a vacation! I did it!
Get in line,
everyone. Get in line.
Welcome to the
School of Villains.
This was once a prison where
people like us were locked up.
But now we villains have
taken over and made it ours!
Hell yes!
Continue forward.
Now make sure
to skip school a lot.
Students with excessive attendance
end up in the torture chamber.
Keep moving forward. If you
fall out of line, you will be shot.
Let me introduce: pure evil!
Rogue principal! Music, maestro!
Welcome to the first day
at the School of Villains.
This is where it will be decided
whether you have what it takes.
to become a real villain.
But first...
...I have learned that
there is a traitor among us.
One of you is
clearly a hero-hugger.
Here he is.
A hero comic!
Do you enjoy reading about how we
villains are mistreated and humiliated?
-I didn't know.
-You didn't know?
Sword!
Say goodbye
to your pitiful life!
-Take him away, Charles! -Go!
Don't touch me, creature!
This year...!
I worked out this morning.
...it's finally time for the battle
between villains and heroes!
We will select two of
you first-year students,
who will fight for
the School of Villains.
So fight well! And
don't hold back.
We must crush them!
We're collecting loot here.
Just take what you want.
Here you can play all the violent games
you want. Here is the weapons room.
-Here we are experimenting with nuclear weapons.
-Hello.
FORBIDDEN! WARNING: EXECUTIONER!
Welcome to the dormitory
where you will be living.
The room you
manage to break into...
...will be yours. You have
two and a half minutes.
Anyone who doesn't manage to get a
room ends up in the execution chamber.
One two three!
ROOM 120 - PUBLIC TOILEASSIGNED: ODREIDAR
ROOM 116 - NOT SO
CRAZY ASSIGNED: ROSMILDA
The most...
-One, two, three. Period. -Yes!
I'll kick you in the balls.
ROOM 114 - SUPER-CHILL
ASSIGNED TO: STEPHANIE
-Thanks for your help.
-They're cheating!
Good job, boys.
ROOM 114 ASSIGNED
TO: WALDEMAR AND NILS
-Ten seconds left. -Beginner.
Nine, eight, seven, six,
female, fire, two...
-What are you doing?
-It says "push".
It opens outwards, you idiot!
...two, one, slut!
Hello, roommate. Give me a hug.
ROOM 013 - COMPLETELY FREELY
AWARDED: STEPHANIE & SVEN
Slip!
This is just going
to be so cozy.
We can have movie
nights, sleepovers...
How do you think it should be
decorated? A bit shabby chic?
-Where are you going?
-To the toilet.
But there's a
king-sized toilet here.
No? I'll try it.
Are there any injuries? Here are
plasters, bandages, snake venom...
-Are you looking for something?
-The toilet.
My name is Illvar.
The world's leading
infiltration expert.
I can smell a liar
from miles away.
I need to go to the toilet.
-How old was she then?
-Yes, how old? Five or six years, maybe.
What the hell?
-Hey, pussy. Good thing you've made a friend.
-Death to all villains!
-What are you doing with my computer?
-It rang.
Now you must tell me everything
about the Crystal of Metamorphosis.
Your brother said you
were looking for it. Why?
Yeah, so...
That's because...
Yes, I wanted to steal...
First I would find out who the thief is,
and then steal the crystal from the thief.
to prove that I am an
even better thief...villain.
That's brilliant! Stealing
loot from the thieves!
I'm a bad boy! Sigh!
Fuck, man, I'm going to shit!
Turn around.
I shit like a grown man.
What is it?
I forgot Pug at home. My
soft, little stuffed animal.
-I can't sleep without it.
-We're at the School of Villains.
Here you have to try to
manage without stuffed animals.
That's a lie...
Okay, if you keep quiet,
I can tell you my plan.
What is your plan?
I don't have a plan, but I know what
the villain sounds like when he gets hurt.
How does that sound?
He says, "Pee in my ear."
How rude.
-So, good night. -Good night.
We must, we must crush them!
If one young devil even
looks at the car, it's over, okay?
And...
Listen, I've been
here a long time.
Firearms are for cowards.
Real villains fight with style.
So choose a
weapon that suits you.
Look!
This is a nunchaku.
And it's not about the weapon,
but about how to handle the weapon.
Mademoiselle, please.
Focus on the opponent, loverboy.
Shoot now.
The shoulders.
Shut up, what a blast!
-Relax. -Stop!
-Lower the cannon, lower the cannon!
-No!
-Shoot!
-What are you doing? Are you crazy?
What the hell is your
problem? Show some respect!
Respect? You can show respect!
Is it also fun if I stick
the gun up your ass?
No guns up anyone's ass.
What a temperament
you have, Stephanie.
-Great! -What? She hit me!
Wait. How "glorious"?
I understand you got scolded
for it at your old school, but here...
...at the School of Villains
we think the other way around.
What others see as
weaknesses, we see as strengths.
And what you get bullied for is
often what your supervillain power is.
Supervillain power?
Does everyone have it?
In a way.
I have the worst darkness
inside that just wants to come out.
Until then, I'll use my infectious
smile, which can hypnotize people.
I was ashamed of my acne until I
realized what a great weapon it was.
Prepare to fire.
Ready, set, fire!
-The goal is lost. -Stephanie.
If you learn to use your anger
properly, it can become your power.
-I can actually become invisible.
-What?
But there's something
else too, right?
-Yes, only if I close my eyes at the same time.
-And then there's one more detail.
Yes, I'll be naked too.
Piss in my ear!
Shut up, it's so cold.
-Pee in my ear. Why did you do that?
-Go away.
-It's Nils. -Who does what?
He took the Crystal
of Metamorphosis.
Stephanie, hurry up!
-What the hell are you doing outside my room?
-Hey, Santa. What's up, motherfucker?
Idiot.
Do you need a band-aid?
Where is it?
-Where is the crystal?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-Where is it?
-I never say where it is.
Okay, I'll tell you where
it is! It's in the catacombs.
-Why did you take it?
-To get into the School of Villains.
I got a letter
saying that if I took...
...Metamorphosis crystal and
took it to school, I got a place.
-Who wrote the letter? -No idea.
It just said I had to drop off the
crystal in the catacombs in room 666.
in a wooden box on the table.
FORBIDDEN! WARNING: EXECUTIONER!
Okay, be quiet now.
What are you doing?
Pull yourself together.
I have to change my
underwear when we get up.
Keep looking.
Here it is.
Okay...
Someone has already been here.
Then we can forget
about it and go upstairs.
No, I have to find it!
What was that?
Tender...
Run! Run! Faster!
Open!
But Dad, I want to be a
gardener when I grow up.
No, you're going to be an executioner like
me and grandfather and great-grandfather...
I did it! I hypnotized him!
-It wasn't me, was it? -Drop it!
Uh, I was probably too scared.
We were on our way to
class, and then we got lost.
He thinks he's a gardener! Yes!
Our ruthless, bloodthirsty
executioner will behead no more!
Now he just wants
to cut flowers.
-How cozy. -Executioner.
I should kill you both for this.
Give me that sword!
Get out of the way!
You're both fired!
No! You don't know what
they did at my old school!
-Step!
-Come on, Sven. This school of villains stinks.
Go ahead.
A school of villains where you
have to obey a mindless no-go sign?
Should we now also
stop at red lights?
Ask nicely before we take someone's wallet?
Or what do you say, rogue principal?
Or maybe I should
say "crazy principal"?
No, but that's true,
Stephanie. Absolutely.
You guys get another chance,
okay? But it was my idea.
-Oh, thank you! -You're welcome.
You're hiding something.
AW?
Everyone thinks the
Executioner is dangerous.
But inside, the Executioner
is completely ordinary.
The executioner was
a bloody murderer
But now the Executioner
has become a gardener
Heads used to roll bloody
Now the only red is
the Bddel's tulip fields
Come now, friends, fear not,
For the Executioner is soft and kind
But if you are stupid
The Executioner
cuts off your tongue
Executioner,
Executioner, Executioner
Be quiet! Be quiet, I said!
-What are you doing?
-Hacking the school's surveillance system.
I want to see who
retrieved the crystal.
-Where did you learn that?
-The dark web.
The school's network is
slower than a snail on benzos.
It will take several weeks.
As soon as I have the crystal,
I must complete the most vicious
weapon the world has ever seen.
It will make Oppenheimer's
bombs look like confetti tubes!
Who am I talking to?
Myself!
Is there any chance of
getting something else?
Sit down at the table.
-Thank you. -Next.
Sven.
-I heard you were in the principal's office. Cool.
-We're actually pretty cool.
Is there nowhere at school
where you can get real food?
Yes, there is a shop run
by the evil Hans von Peng.
His prices were so low that
everyone else had to close.
When he was left alone,
he raised the prices wildly.
-People could only shop there.
-And it's impossible to steal there.
Von Peng has built a crazy hero
robot, Gigantico, who stands guard.
Good morning, motherfuckers!
Today we're going to cause chaos!
The art of infiltration
is about one thing.
Credibility.
Hello, Mr. Teacher!
You spelled it wrong!
Who said that?
It was me.
Anyone who doesn't believe in
their own character can easily...
...is understood.
Let me demonstrate.
Stephanie.
-Come up here. -Why me?
Are you a little coward?
Okay.
I know you're hiding something.
And now the time has come
for me to find out what it is.
- Hands up. - What do you mean?
Hands up.
We'll start simple.
-What's your name? -Stephanie.
And how long have you
wanted to be a villain?
-Since I was little. -Lies!
You're sweating. Typical
rookie infiltration mistake.
Hands up.
-But it hurts. -Up.
Up with them! Up,
up, up. We'll try again.
How long have you
wanted to be a villain?
I don't know. For
how many years?
-Stop! She's telling the truth!
-No, she's not.
Her pupils are small,
just like when you're lying.
-Hands up. -But...
Up! Are you a villain, or are
you working for the enemy?
Who are you, Ste...pha...nie?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
Answer!
Was it you?
If you want to go to Hero School,
you have to learn to manage your anger.
You'll never be a hero. Your
mother would be ashamed of you.
Take a vacation in Venezuela! I
had no idea you had that kind of power.
-What are you doing?
-Do it again.
-What?
-Make the shit burn like in there.
Maybe you have to be
angry before it works.
-Oh, you donkey! What the hell are you doing?
-Come on.
-No, this doesn't work.
-Don't get angry for the sake of getting angry.
Just be angry.
-What then? -Get out, you freak.
-You lied. You're not a villain!
-Yes, I am!
You're lying! You're
a fucking traitor!
-Of course I'm a villain.
-Then prove it. Or can't you?
Oh, shit. Don't do it,
Stephanie. Gigantico will kill you.
Yi-ha! Today we have a
special price on baguettes!
Buy one, pay for three!
And for God's sake,
don't miss our apples.
5000 kroner per kilo!
Gigantic. Gigantic. Gigantic.
Gigantic!
Turn around.
Oh, shit.
What do you have in your pocket?
I have some fresh fruit!
Right now at an extra cost.
Say hello to my little friend.
Gigantic.
Gigantic.
You won't get away.
You won't get away.
Gigantico has steel balls.
-Are you kidding? -No.
Correct.
What?
-Come in! -Yes!
-We must have more! -Yes!
Chips!
Chips!
Shut up.
It was Satan's.
-Goodbye, Gigantico. -Thank you.
The Villains vs. Heroes tournament is
approaching, and it's finally time to reveal...
Which of you will die, I mean,
fighting for the School of Villains.
And of course I will do that.
on my 80 inch, ultra-HD,
4K, plasma OLED TV!
Yes. And those who get the
prestigious assignment are...
Waldemar and Nils! No,
I'm kidding. Stephanie!
-Yes, I do! -Whisper!
-Stephanie? Now I have to put my foot down.
-Shut up, Illvar!
Tell me, are you the principal?
-Well, then we'll say it.
-I'm not the principal.
-Yeah, maybe...
-No, damn it! You're not the principal!
It was poorly done.
Yes. You will face
stiff resistance.
They have chosen two really strong
students from the School of Heroes.
You'll never be a hero. Your
mother would be ashamed of you.
Wait for me. What are you doing?
-I have to see who took the crystal.
-You're already the coolest guy in school.
Wow!
Also the V. It is important
that you get the V with you.
Yes. Principal Illvar.
AND?
-I'm scared.
-Okay, you can stay out here and keep watch.
But what do I do if
someone comes?
-Just say: "Someone is coming".
-Can't I say like a bird instead?
-Okay. -What bird?
I don't know. A cockatoo?
Okay...
What the hell does a
cockatoo sound like?
Stephanie!
No!
I'll take it!
Take some chloroform, you devil!
-I have to take care of this.
-I want to come.
You are so brave. I love you.
"Don't press here"? I press.
Door opens.
Welcome, Fantastica.
Cockatoo!
Cockatoo!
Stephanie? Hallo? Stephanie?
-Cockatoo! Wake up.
-The villain of villains.
-What?
-What the hell are you doing here?
Sorry, Stephanie, but
I saw AK running out,
and then I saw you
lying there. I was scared.
Why do you fable about
the villain of villains?
-I think she's alive.
-What? How sick.
-She and AK work together.
-We have to tell the principal.
Absolutely not. We
don't know who to trust.
I know where the villain's
villain's base is located.
How can you know that?
Yeah, because... Fuck it.
It's not important. Listen.
If the villain of villains gets his hands on
the crystal, it could be the end for us all.
We have to go
there and stop them.
Wait a minute. "We"
as in you, you, me-we?
You're right. We need help.
Executioner!
It's the principal's car.
- Executioner, can you drive?
- Executioner, executioner.
-I'm driving. -What?
I've played a lot of GTA.
Okay...
Okay.
Let go of my face!
-Is everyone okay?
-That was the coolest thing I've ever tried!
Uh-huh. Aren't these kinds of
places full of deadly radiation?
It will take a year to
find anything in here.
Where is Sven?
Hello?
-Stephanie! -Yo? Pst.
Down here.
-Shit! -Shit!
-Who are you?
-I'm your mother, man.
Mom? What are you doing here?
Your ass. No, I'm
Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle-Shunan?
-Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle-Shunnon?
-Particle-Shunnon, yes!
Since the nuclear power plant closed,
I've been waiting for someone to touch me.
Now you are my slave.
And with your help, I
will destroy the world!
No! Stop! Do you want to die?
-No. -Then stop.
-Who are you talking to?
-No one.
Namely. Not anyone, you idiot.
Oh, shit. You heard me, right?
-Fuck you!
-Fuck you yourself, you idiot!
Slave! Hold me closer to her.
Not so close! There.
You won't mess with me.
-Die! -I can't breathe!
-Where is the villain of villains?
-I don't know. Slave, run!
-I'm choking you! -Air...
-Where is the villain of villains?
-I don't know.
-Slave, run away now!
-I am not your slave!
How disgusting...
What have you eaten?
Tell me where the villain of villains is hiding,
or you'll end up in the executioner's butt.
No, not in the butt, please.
I don't know who you're talking
about, but I saw activity in the chimney.
I tried to get there,
but I have no legs.
The chimney...
-How do I get rid of it? -Idiot.
- Executioner chop off? - No.
-Wait. -Oh, shit.
-It's hand sanitizer.
-Not hand sanitizer! Please!
You can take my life, but you
can never take my freedom...!
I love you.
-Okay...
-We have to go to the chimney. Come on.
Shut up.
-Is the villain of villains down there?
-Executioner...
I don't know.
-Help me...
-There's someone in the cage.
-Executioner! -Wait!
-AK? Where is the villain of villains?
-Executioner.
We were going to take over the world
together. She promised me incredible powers.
As soon as she got the crystal,
she didn't need me anymore.
Why would she have the crystal?
She has created the most powerful
weapon the world has ever seen.
Combined with the crystal, the
weapon gains terrible powers.
With it, she will eradicate
all villains and all heroes.
and create chaos and
anarchy throughout the world.
-Stephanie?
-Today during the hero-villain tournament.
-There's the tournament.
-That's what I said.
Shit, she's going to use the
weapon during the tournament.
-She's hitting today. -Today.
That's what I said!
Executioner, take AK to
your old cell. We're busy.
What? Wait... No!
No!
No!
Stop! Leave me alone!
Come back, you brats!
Metamorphosis! A
comment on the situation?
How are you
today? See you later.
Testicles, testicle
one, testicle two.
Testicles, testicle
one, testicle two.
Perfect. Testicle.
Look there! There
you are, Stephanie!
-Where the hell have you been?
-Stop the competition.
-The villain of villains...
-Focus! Or you'll end up in the torture chamber!
-And you two, get up in the stands now!
-But Stephanie is right.
I'm one second away from
completely freaking out! Okay?
Up in the stands! Let's go!
-You too, Stephanie.
-Why aren't you listening to me?
We'll crush them!
What the hell was
that? Try again.
That's how I react to it.
Where the hell have you been?
Well, you've become a villain,
Stephanie? It really suits you.
I'm so looking forward
to crushing you.
-Stephanie, can I talk to you for a moment?
-Yes, yes.
She has the Crystal
of Metamorphosis.
They're planning an
attack. She's built a weapon.
We have to stop the
competitions. Everyone is in danger.
And why should I trust you?
-You're a villain. -Not really.
I'm just pretending
to look for the crystal.
Bleach!
That was... smart.
Get out of here.
What? We have to get everyone
out of here and stop the competitions.
-Why aren't you listening...?
-Go out and sit down!
Okay.
Welcome to the grand
tournament of villains vs. heroes!
It will be decided
in three disciplines!
First discipline:
nails and chiefs' ball!
Second discipline: MMA!
With bites and ball kicks
for those who have balls!
Right in the balls!
The Third Discipline is
a true classic and horror.
Thumb war!
And as a guest judge
we have Donald Thumb!
-Stop the competition! Everyone has to go out!
-Hello!
-What's going on, Dad?
-I don't know.
She's just a little scared
to compete, that coward.
Have fun!
What the hell? You're
embarrassing me!
Listen up. Everyone's
life could be in danger.
Isn't it to avoid
competing for the villains?
Because you want
to be a hero yourself.
-What?
-Just like Mother Fantastica.
What the hell are
you blabbering about?
I'm not a villain in reality.
I'm just pretending
to look for the crystal.
No. An infiltrator?
That can't be right.
-Sorry. -Stephanie...
Why?
But listen now. The villain of
villains is planning to attack...
Stop. You should honor your mother, who
sacrificed her life, instead of spreading lies.
The villain of villains is
dead. Everyone knows that.
You lying, little traitor.
You are immediately expelled
from school! Do you understand?
And not only that. Sword!
Fuck it. Charles, take her away!
-No! -Get out! Get out of here!
-I'm telling the truth!
-Get out of here, Stephanie!
I swear! Hello! Let me go!
Fuck jer! Fuck!
Tax...
Stephanie?
Hello? Stephanie, open the door.
Open now.
Villain-villain.
What kind of car is that?
- Principal.
- Principal? Can you be here?
-Everyone's right. I'm a loser.
-No. You... No.
That's not right. You're
definitely not, Stephanie.
-You're absolutely amazing. I'm so proud...
-Stop it!
It doesn't matter what I do.
Everything is enough in your eyes.
You never challenge me. Not even
with a little constructive criticism.
If you had pushed me harder like
Mom, my powers might still have worked.
Stephanie, you have no strength.
What the hell are you
talking about? I have!
When Mom was alive, I could
lift balls, move chairs... and stuff.
Why do you think it only
worked when she was involved?
-She was the one who did it.
-Look, Mom!
-Mom, look! -Yes, I see it.
-You're lying.
-You... little darling...
You are not her.
But you are you.
-And you have to find your own way.
-I hate you.
Out of the car.
Get out of the car, I said!
Okay.
Now, damn it...
-He turned into a sausage!
-He turned into a sausage!
Surprise, morkneppere.
What an ugly word.
The villain of villains is back.
And yes, you saw that right.
My terrible weapon
turns you into...
...sausages!
Exactly what you
little pigs deserve.
Ouch, ooh, ooh.
Let the sausage party begin!
Fuck.
Far!
Far!
-Dad!
-She's turning us into sausages! Run!
It's the Lizardman! Open the door!
The villain of villains is out there!
Far! Shit! Far! Shovel-Buster!
Far!
Sven! Rosmilda! And Kajsa.
Come on, there's a door here!
-Come on. -Run!
Are you afraid of me?
-My mother is still in there!
-It's all your fault!
We'll get them back. I promise.
"We"? I'm the only one
with real superpowers.
You're just super freaks.
We don't stand a chance.
Do you know what
your problem is?
You've had your head so far up your ass that you
have no idea what super freaks are capable of.
Sven and Rosmilda have the
coolest superpowers I've ever seen,
and they are the best
friends you can imagine.
Can we just forget about
this hero-villain thing?
then I know we can work as a
team and defeat this... gangster.
I trust you.
I don't want to be a chorizo
sausage for the rest of my life.
What do you say?
Yeah, okay then, geek
of geeks. What's the plan?
Villain? Half?
Well, there's no one left?
-No one who can defeat me?
-Hello, rat face!
You forgot me, bitch.
Okay, listen carefully. We're going
to need a video monitor and a camera.
A small, clammy fish face.
-Kajsa, how fast can you be?
-Fast enough.
Sven, you know what to do.
-Yes. -Okay, let's go.
Beer, beer, beer,
beer, beer, beer!
-I can't. I'm too scared.
-Think of something that makes you happy.
Be well!
What are you planning to do?
Goodbye, fiskefjs.
-Go! -Sven, now.
Sven. Your happiest.
Your best happy place.
Look here.
Wow, Sven. What a six-pack.
I know, honey. I know.
I'm being hypnotized.
It works!
Did you really think your pitiful
little tricks would work on me?
Turn into sausages
now! Turn into sausages!
Back!
Air traffic control,
countdown confirmed.
...seven, six,
Five, four, three,
two, one, guy!
Target locked. Del. Three
seconds to engagement.
Three, two, one, skirmish!
-Make them human again!
-I don't know how it works!
How dirty! You little pigs!
-There must be a reverse button.
-Come on!
-Give it to me and I'll show you.
-I'll try!
She is coming!
Hold your breath!
Is she gone?
Grey!
No!
I killed your mother.
Now it's your turn.
Stephanie!
Run!
-Glasses sausage. -No!
No!
What do you want?
Well, hello to you.
I don't know if you're
brave or just stupid,
exactly like your mother!
Are you ready to
meet your destiny?
Never! Off! Let go of me!
No one beats my sister over me!
Stephanie?
If you're ever going
to be a hero, it's now.
Then come on!
Oh no...
Pathetic!
-Shut up! -Six arms!
You are no hero,
and you never will be.
Now you should see
what six arms taste like!
-Mom, look! -Yes, I see it.
Why did you trick me?
I just wanted to encourage
you to keep trying.
-I don't have powers like you.
-Not like me, no, but like you.
Why don't you
listen to your father?
You just have to
dare to let them go.
-But how? -You know that.
Close your eyes.
What do you feel?
I'm angry because
you're not here anymore.
It's okay to be angry.
Don't hold it back.
You have to find your own way.
That which is one's
supervillain power.
Just be angry.
Stephanie? Did you
see me die? Stephanie?
-What the hell happened?
-Is everyone okay?
You... You're back!
And it's thanks to
me! Pelle-Buster!
I defeated the villain of
villains! I have her toe as proof!
I defeated...
Yes... She also
helped a little bit.
-Dad! -My treasure chests!
Stephanie!
Are you okay?
God, you're so hot.
Help! Can we get some help?
We need help!
-Hi, honey, hi. -What happened?
You had a very high fever, but it has
gone down now, so everything is fine.
-Is everyone okay?
-Yes, everyone is fine.
-Thanks to you.
-It was probably thanks to you too.
You were right.
I'm not her. I'm me.
-Daddy's little piggy.
-Don't say piggy.
That's right. It's great
to have you home, kitty.
Is she here?
Executioner? What the
hell are you doing here?
Executioner! Executioner!
You should have seen yourself!
You were so cheated, Stephanie!
Stephanie! There are bad
guys here! Let me go, Stephanie!
Stephanie!
Stephanie!
Stephanie? Come on. There's
someone who wants to meet with you.
-Who the hell let you in?
-Shut up.
Hi, Stephanie.
-You saved us all. -Yes.
Just like your mother did.
And of course, I would like to
welcome you to the School of Heroes.
That is, as soon as
you feel a little fresher.
We have found a good psychologist who
can help you with your aggression problem.
-Yes? -Yes.
Well, Stephanie though...
-Uh-huh. -Are you okay?
Stephanie, have you thought this
through? You won't get another chance...
I understand an allusion. Quiet!
Out! Out! Out!
Psst? Psst!
-Who's there? Show yourself.
-Down here, sister.
Who are you?
I'm your mother, idiot.
No, I'm Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle...? -Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle...? -Particle-Shunnon!
And with your help, I'm
going to take over the world!
Yes, yes, yes!
countdown confirmed.
...seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one.
Guy!
Help! The villain
of villains is here!
Don't panic.
Fantastica is on its way!
-Die, die, die! -Honey...
Next.
Hi! I would like to withdraw
some cash, if that is okay?
-Of course. -Shit good.
Get down on the ground,
okay! Nobody moves!
Down to earth...!
Be quiet, it will work out!
I mean it! Open the box!
Bring them! Bring the money!
Open the box!
Cash! Cash! Hurry up!
-What the hell?
-Stay here. I'll be right back.
-Fantastic? -No...
Piss me in the ear...
Is it just you?
-Losers' losers.
-Do something! Shoot her!
Well, a Jean-Claude Van Damme.
So, a super split.
-I have a family. I have a family!
-Look what I found.
-A bazooka.
-No, I don't want to...
Kill me.
-No, no... -Hit her!
I'm okay.
No...!
-Hello. -Hello.
Hello. My name is Ties.
Now I'm going to
smash your face in.
All children probably think
their mothers are superheroes.
You saved us. Thank you!
But in my case, it
was a little more literal.
-She's on her way. -Who?
The villain of villains.
-I have to take care of this.
-I want to come.
Now, my little hero, I have a task for you.
Get little brother home to daddy. Okay?
You are so brave.
I love you.
I love you.
That was the last
time I saw her.
My mother sacrificed her life to save
the world from the villain of villains.
Oh, fantastic...
But I haven't let
her death break me.
Instead, I have chosen to be like her
and apply to... The School of Heroes.
Do you want to develop
your superpowers?
Train your skills?
Do you have what it
takes to save the world?
Apply to the Hero School!
My name is Stephanie, I'm
12 years old and very explosive.
Targeted, very targeted.
And I have mental powers,
just like my mother had.
I know that my powers have
great development potential.
HERO SCHOOL UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO
SEND
THANK YOU FOR YOUR APPLICATION
-A crustless meal for my gold nugget.
-Thank you very much, Dad.
-I passed the entrance exam!
-Congratulations, sweetie. Oh, how wonderful.
Hooray for Stephanie! She's going
to be a mighty hero just like me!
Maybe not as strong, but
still! Well done, Stephanie!
I'm so happy I don't know
what to do with my feelings!
I'll get them out by force!
-Where did you get it from?
-Your room.
-It's as ugly as you.
-Idiot! I got it from my mother.
It's as ugly as you, Stephanie!
You're so ugly, Stephanie!
-Whoa, whoa! Stephanie, no, no.
-Pelle-Buster, take the pacifier.
-Now remember what the counselor said.
-Yes.
If you're going to Hero School, you
have to learn to manage your anger.
So now we'll take a deep breath,
and then we'll count together, okay?
-Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
-Fuck you, Stephanie. Fuck you!
Pelle-Buster. Fire...
-Stop looking at my paper.
-Stephanie.
What did we say about cheating?
You're really good at math.
-You can get into the mathematics department.
-I'm going to the Hero School.
-It'll probably go well. -Kaisa.
It's just such a shame her mother
didn't let her have some of her powers.
So, I guess we'll see you at
the entrance exam tomorrow?
Mom, look! I'm exactly like you!
Come on!
-It's actually almost bedtime.
-I have to work out.
-If this doesn't work...
-It should work!
The supervisor said that this can happen if
you are going through something difficult.
I know I can make it work again.
-I just mean you shouldn't...
-Yes!
It's my only chance to
prove everyone wrong.
-And that I can be a hero as a mother.
-Dad! Blow her!
No matter what happens, you should know
that I am very proud of you, Stephanie.
-Okay? -Far?
Stephanie!
-Stephanie, beat those whores!
-Pelle-Buster!
-That's not how we talk.
-What are you going to do?
-You must not hit a child.
-You should go inside and brush your teeth.
No! I have almost no teeth.
My baby teeth are falling out.
I don't see the point
in brushing them.
-It's bedtime. -No!
I would have jumped on our lot
if we could afford a trampoline.
You are so poor, father...
Hey, dad.
-Have you had anything float recently?
-Yes.
Well...?
-Are you five years old or what?
-Stephanie?
Hello.
Sorry, but that's a fucking...
-Stephanie? -Hello.
Thorkel.
It'll be cool to see
what you can do.
If you have just a fraction of
your mother's strength, you'll go far.
Without her, we
wouldn't be here today.
Then the villain of villains might
have survived and taken over the world.
But toodeloody, Trudy. Here we
are. Wonderful. Are you in shock?
-I'm rooting for you.
-Thank you.
See you out there. Torkel.
Yes! Let's go! I'm so excited.
Welcome! Today is the
selection for the Hero School.
But first, let me introduce the
principal of the Hero School, Hera!
Welcome, welcome, everyone!
I just have to smash something.
Not!
Now let me introduce
Metamorphosis!
The transformation artist
and his magic crystal.
Look at him when he dances
He's going to be
a nice little lamp.
Now let's have some fun, kids.
He becomes a
flabby, little fir tree
Okay! Oh, yeah!
High kick! Over here!
In, in, in, in, spread dem
And hop And now he's
becoming a cool little donkey
Yes! Then we will
proceed with the selection.
First the physical
test. Good luck.
Come on, you bastard! Come on!
Then come down,
you deformed cat...!
-Unfortunately! You couldn't save the cat.
-Put me down, you disgusting bundle of muscles!
Next candidate: Kaisa Blixt.
Time to beat: Two
minutes and 30 seconds.
The track is as follows:
Up to the obstacle, through the
forest, up to the smoking inspector
and back to save the cat.
Good luck.
And then she's off! Fantastic.
Smoking kills.
Holy fuckadoodelydoo! Ja!
I love cats!
Ship ohj and flying bananas!
New track record by Kajsa Blixt.
35 seconds.
The next participant
is Stephanie Mindler.
Her mother was a legend.
Participant ready.
Good luck, loser.
And then she's off.
"Up and over." Come on!
More than half the
time has passed.
There is about a minute left.
Shoot me. Yes!
Now she enters the finish line.
There are ten seconds
left. Will she make it?
Nine, eight, seven,
six, five...
Yes!
Sorry! You are
disqualified for cheating.
Are you kidding me? I made it.
Bite!
I just had to get the cat down.
It didn't have to be alive. Idiots.
There's no point in beating time
when you're smashing the obstacle,
lights the cigarette
and the cat is dead.
-It's not dead. -It's half dead.
-Can't I get another chance?
-Not another word from you.
Don't you hear what she's
saying, you freak? Get out of here.
You will never be a hero.
Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six...
Your mother would
be ashamed of you.
Men...
Shut up, how stupid are they...
Piss me in the ear!
Damn it! Uh, well. Where is it?
There! Like that, yes.
Shut up, it's so cold.
Fuck.
Psst! Hello?
Hi. I like what you did.
Excuse me, but who are you?
My name is AK. I work
for the School of Villains.
-The school of villains?
-Come down here and I'll tell you more.
So, either you're a troll
or you're a pedophile.
I'm not a pedophile, and I'm not a troll
either. Can't you just come down here?
-What is the School of Villains?
-Do you like to skip school?
Fight? Chop things?
Unlimited screen time?
All prominent bandits have
started their criminal careers with us.
And I think you would
fit in well with us.
-No thanks.
-Take it. If you change your mind.
Hi! I just wanted to say that
I got into the Hero School.
There I go. OMG,
it's just going to be...
Stop smiling.
So, so. Oh, little pussy...
Even though it doesn't feel
like it right now, Stephanie,
then you can actually have a
really good and pretty cool life
without being a hero.
I mean, just look at me.
I have a good job, which
is kind of safe and nice.
-I have two absolutely amazing kids.
-Stephanie! You're a loser!
-Do you hear? You're a loser!
-Shut up!
I'm ready! I'm ready to
be the head of the family!
You shouldn't get
upset about that.
Dad? Damn, there were
bubbles in the water!
It's Stephanie! Stephanie
is trying to poison me, Dad!
-Dad, there's something else in the water.
-I'll be right there.
There is a brown fish...
I need to talk to everyone who
was involved in the selection.
-Is Stephanie home?
-Can I retake the entrance exam?
What a great idea. Pack your bags, we're
leaving. No, that's not why we're here.
-What's this about?
-It's a bit strange. This is Metamorphosis.
His power of transformation
resides in the crystal around his neck.
But it was stolen
during the removal.
Before he could
become himself again.
-He's a bit stuck in the donkey stage now.
-Well then?
It's urgent. He wants
to use the toilet.
-The toilet? It's down there on the left.
-That's damn good.
-Should I take him with me?
-Yes, help him.
-What about the hooves? Does he flush it out?
-You'll find out.
Well, this is the way.
Stephanie, listen to me.
This is serious. If the crystal falls into
the wrong hands, it can cause great damage.
If I were to theoretically
find the crystal and return it,
Would I get a place
at the Hero School?
Did you see anything?
Piss me in the ear!
No, no.
Well, if you were to theoretically
find the crystal and give it back to us,
then you have my word that you
have a place at the School of Heroes.
But if...there's something
you're not telling me, Stephanie...
-Then you're screwed. Do you hear?
-Yes.
What? No. No!
HONORABLE VILLAIN
Stephanie! You're no longer
my sister if you turn villainous!
You don't understand. I'm
just pretending to be a villain.
I start at the School of Villains
and find out who stole the crystal,
finds the crystal, gives it to Metamorphosis
and starts at the School of Heroes.
-What a great idea, Stephanie! Not!
-I don't know, Stephanie.
That sounds like a very vague
theory and also wildly dangerous.
You said you'd be proud of me
no matter what school I choose.
No, he's lying! Stephanie,
you have to promise me...to die!
Be quiet! We heard you!
-Okay? -Okay...
-Promise me you're... -Hello?
-Here. -Yes, sorry.
Promise me you'll be careful.
-Yes, Dad. Don't worry. -Good.
Come here.
-Daddy's little piggy.
-Now don't say piggy.
In Puttegri.
"Honorable villain."
"Take the train Tyv-3000 to the School of
Villains from Molnby on August 18th at 9:34."
"Say goodbye to morals, ethics and above
all, respect for the property of others."
-What's up, you fucking scumbags?
-Shut up, Sven, you stupid ass.
-I'll call you later.
-Oh, you won't.
-Hi, my name is Sven.
-Stephanie.
-What's going on, Steffi?
-Nothing, Svenni.
The train Thief-3000
is arriving now.
If you miss the
train, you're done!
Faster!
Come on, Stephanie!
Not.
I knew I would make a
friend at Villain School.
-But not that it happened so quickly.
-I'm not your friend.
VILLAIN? HOW GOOD
ARE YOU AT LYING?
Good morning. Love and joy.
My name is Spliff, and I'm
taking you to the School of Villains.
I would also say that...
Well, now I've forgotten what
I wanted to say. Booyakasha.
It's going to be so cool,
but I'm a little nervous.
Everyone in my family has
gone to the School of Villains.
Shut up now!
Look who it is.
It's Rosmilda Miltenton!
Her father is a legend.
-Oops. -Off.
-Excuse me. Was my head in the way?
-You could say that.
What the hell
are you staring at?
What's up, you
little motherfucker!
Then it's the final stop. Good
luck, all children. Booyakasha.
Take a vacation! I did it!
Get in line,
everyone. Get in line.
Welcome to the
School of Villains.
This was once a prison where
people like us were locked up.
But now we villains have
taken over and made it ours!
Hell yes!
Continue forward.
Now make sure
to skip school a lot.
Students with excessive attendance
end up in the torture chamber.
Keep moving forward. If you
fall out of line, you will be shot.
Let me introduce: pure evil!
Rogue principal! Music, maestro!
Welcome to the first day
at the School of Villains.
This is where it will be decided
whether you have what it takes.
to become a real villain.
But first...
...I have learned that
there is a traitor among us.
One of you is
clearly a hero-hugger.
Here he is.
A hero comic!
Do you enjoy reading about how we
villains are mistreated and humiliated?
-I didn't know.
-You didn't know?
Sword!
Say goodbye
to your pitiful life!
-Take him away, Charles! -Go!
Don't touch me, creature!
This year...!
I worked out this morning.
...it's finally time for the battle
between villains and heroes!
We will select two of
you first-year students,
who will fight for
the School of Villains.
So fight well! And
don't hold back.
We must crush them!
We're collecting loot here.
Just take what you want.
Here you can play all the violent games
you want. Here is the weapons room.
-Here we are experimenting with nuclear weapons.
-Hello.
FORBIDDEN! WARNING: EXECUTIONER!
Welcome to the dormitory
where you will be living.
The room you
manage to break into...
...will be yours. You have
two and a half minutes.
Anyone who doesn't manage to get a
room ends up in the execution chamber.
One two three!
ROOM 120 - PUBLIC TOILEASSIGNED: ODREIDAR
ROOM 116 - NOT SO
CRAZY ASSIGNED: ROSMILDA
The most...
-One, two, three. Period. -Yes!
I'll kick you in the balls.
ROOM 114 - SUPER-CHILL
ASSIGNED TO: STEPHANIE
-Thanks for your help.
-They're cheating!
Good job, boys.
ROOM 114 ASSIGNED
TO: WALDEMAR AND NILS
-Ten seconds left. -Beginner.
Nine, eight, seven, six,
female, fire, two...
-What are you doing?
-It says "push".
It opens outwards, you idiot!
...two, one, slut!
Hello, roommate. Give me a hug.
ROOM 013 - COMPLETELY FREELY
AWARDED: STEPHANIE & SVEN
Slip!
This is just going
to be so cozy.
We can have movie
nights, sleepovers...
How do you think it should be
decorated? A bit shabby chic?
-Where are you going?
-To the toilet.
But there's a
king-sized toilet here.
No? I'll try it.
Are there any injuries? Here are
plasters, bandages, snake venom...
-Are you looking for something?
-The toilet.
My name is Illvar.
The world's leading
infiltration expert.
I can smell a liar
from miles away.
I need to go to the toilet.
-How old was she then?
-Yes, how old? Five or six years, maybe.
What the hell?
-Hey, pussy. Good thing you've made a friend.
-Death to all villains!
-What are you doing with my computer?
-It rang.
Now you must tell me everything
about the Crystal of Metamorphosis.
Your brother said you
were looking for it. Why?
Yeah, so...
That's because...
Yes, I wanted to steal...
First I would find out who the thief is,
and then steal the crystal from the thief.
to prove that I am an
even better thief...villain.
That's brilliant! Stealing
loot from the thieves!
I'm a bad boy! Sigh!
Fuck, man, I'm going to shit!
Turn around.
I shit like a grown man.
What is it?
I forgot Pug at home. My
soft, little stuffed animal.
-I can't sleep without it.
-We're at the School of Villains.
Here you have to try to
manage without stuffed animals.
That's a lie...
Okay, if you keep quiet,
I can tell you my plan.
What is your plan?
I don't have a plan, but I know what
the villain sounds like when he gets hurt.
How does that sound?
He says, "Pee in my ear."
How rude.
-So, good night. -Good night.
We must, we must crush them!
If one young devil even
looks at the car, it's over, okay?
And...
Listen, I've been
here a long time.
Firearms are for cowards.
Real villains fight with style.
So choose a
weapon that suits you.
Look!
This is a nunchaku.
And it's not about the weapon,
but about how to handle the weapon.
Mademoiselle, please.
Focus on the opponent, loverboy.
Shoot now.
The shoulders.
Shut up, what a blast!
-Relax. -Stop!
-Lower the cannon, lower the cannon!
-No!
-Shoot!
-What are you doing? Are you crazy?
What the hell is your
problem? Show some respect!
Respect? You can show respect!
Is it also fun if I stick
the gun up your ass?
No guns up anyone's ass.
What a temperament
you have, Stephanie.
-Great! -What? She hit me!
Wait. How "glorious"?
I understand you got scolded
for it at your old school, but here...
...at the School of Villains
we think the other way around.
What others see as
weaknesses, we see as strengths.
And what you get bullied for is
often what your supervillain power is.
Supervillain power?
Does everyone have it?
In a way.
I have the worst darkness
inside that just wants to come out.
Until then, I'll use my infectious
smile, which can hypnotize people.
I was ashamed of my acne until I
realized what a great weapon it was.
Prepare to fire.
Ready, set, fire!
-The goal is lost. -Stephanie.
If you learn to use your anger
properly, it can become your power.
-I can actually become invisible.
-What?
But there's something
else too, right?
-Yes, only if I close my eyes at the same time.
-And then there's one more detail.
Yes, I'll be naked too.
Piss in my ear!
Shut up, it's so cold.
-Pee in my ear. Why did you do that?
-Go away.
-It's Nils. -Who does what?
He took the Crystal
of Metamorphosis.
Stephanie, hurry up!
-What the hell are you doing outside my room?
-Hey, Santa. What's up, motherfucker?
Idiot.
Do you need a band-aid?
Where is it?
-Where is the crystal?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-Where is it?
-I never say where it is.
Okay, I'll tell you where
it is! It's in the catacombs.
-Why did you take it?
-To get into the School of Villains.
I got a letter
saying that if I took...
...Metamorphosis crystal and
took it to school, I got a place.
-Who wrote the letter? -No idea.
It just said I had to drop off the
crystal in the catacombs in room 666.
in a wooden box on the table.
FORBIDDEN! WARNING: EXECUTIONER!
Okay, be quiet now.
What are you doing?
Pull yourself together.
I have to change my
underwear when we get up.
Keep looking.
Here it is.
Okay...
Someone has already been here.
Then we can forget
about it and go upstairs.
No, I have to find it!
What was that?
Tender...
Run! Run! Faster!
Open!
But Dad, I want to be a
gardener when I grow up.
No, you're going to be an executioner like
me and grandfather and great-grandfather...
I did it! I hypnotized him!
-It wasn't me, was it? -Drop it!
Uh, I was probably too scared.
We were on our way to
class, and then we got lost.
He thinks he's a gardener! Yes!
Our ruthless, bloodthirsty
executioner will behead no more!
Now he just wants
to cut flowers.
-How cozy. -Executioner.
I should kill you both for this.
Give me that sword!
Get out of the way!
You're both fired!
No! You don't know what
they did at my old school!
-Step!
-Come on, Sven. This school of villains stinks.
Go ahead.
A school of villains where you
have to obey a mindless no-go sign?
Should we now also
stop at red lights?
Ask nicely before we take someone's wallet?
Or what do you say, rogue principal?
Or maybe I should
say "crazy principal"?
No, but that's true,
Stephanie. Absolutely.
You guys get another chance,
okay? But it was my idea.
-Oh, thank you! -You're welcome.
You're hiding something.
AW?
Everyone thinks the
Executioner is dangerous.
But inside, the Executioner
is completely ordinary.
The executioner was
a bloody murderer
But now the Executioner
has become a gardener
Heads used to roll bloody
Now the only red is
the Bddel's tulip fields
Come now, friends, fear not,
For the Executioner is soft and kind
But if you are stupid
The Executioner
cuts off your tongue
Executioner,
Executioner, Executioner
Be quiet! Be quiet, I said!
-What are you doing?
-Hacking the school's surveillance system.
I want to see who
retrieved the crystal.
-Where did you learn that?
-The dark web.
The school's network is
slower than a snail on benzos.
It will take several weeks.
As soon as I have the crystal,
I must complete the most vicious
weapon the world has ever seen.
It will make Oppenheimer's
bombs look like confetti tubes!
Who am I talking to?
Myself!
Is there any chance of
getting something else?
Sit down at the table.
-Thank you. -Next.
Sven.
-I heard you were in the principal's office. Cool.
-We're actually pretty cool.
Is there nowhere at school
where you can get real food?
Yes, there is a shop run
by the evil Hans von Peng.
His prices were so low that
everyone else had to close.
When he was left alone,
he raised the prices wildly.
-People could only shop there.
-And it's impossible to steal there.
Von Peng has built a crazy hero
robot, Gigantico, who stands guard.
Good morning, motherfuckers!
Today we're going to cause chaos!
The art of infiltration
is about one thing.
Credibility.
Hello, Mr. Teacher!
You spelled it wrong!
Who said that?
It was me.
Anyone who doesn't believe in
their own character can easily...
...is understood.
Let me demonstrate.
Stephanie.
-Come up here. -Why me?
Are you a little coward?
Okay.
I know you're hiding something.
And now the time has come
for me to find out what it is.
- Hands up. - What do you mean?
Hands up.
We'll start simple.
-What's your name? -Stephanie.
And how long have you
wanted to be a villain?
-Since I was little. -Lies!
You're sweating. Typical
rookie infiltration mistake.
Hands up.
-But it hurts. -Up.
Up with them! Up,
up, up. We'll try again.
How long have you
wanted to be a villain?
I don't know. For
how many years?
-Stop! She's telling the truth!
-No, she's not.
Her pupils are small,
just like when you're lying.
-Hands up. -But...
Up! Are you a villain, or are
you working for the enemy?
Who are you, Ste...pha...nie?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
Answer!
Was it you?
If you want to go to Hero School,
you have to learn to manage your anger.
You'll never be a hero. Your
mother would be ashamed of you.
Take a vacation in Venezuela! I
had no idea you had that kind of power.
-What are you doing?
-Do it again.
-What?
-Make the shit burn like in there.
Maybe you have to be
angry before it works.
-Oh, you donkey! What the hell are you doing?
-Come on.
-No, this doesn't work.
-Don't get angry for the sake of getting angry.
Just be angry.
-What then? -Get out, you freak.
-You lied. You're not a villain!
-Yes, I am!
You're lying! You're
a fucking traitor!
-Of course I'm a villain.
-Then prove it. Or can't you?
Oh, shit. Don't do it,
Stephanie. Gigantico will kill you.
Yi-ha! Today we have a
special price on baguettes!
Buy one, pay for three!
And for God's sake,
don't miss our apples.
5000 kroner per kilo!
Gigantic. Gigantic. Gigantic.
Gigantic!
Turn around.
Oh, shit.
What do you have in your pocket?
I have some fresh fruit!
Right now at an extra cost.
Say hello to my little friend.
Gigantic.
Gigantic.
You won't get away.
You won't get away.
Gigantico has steel balls.
-Are you kidding? -No.
Correct.
What?
-Come in! -Yes!
-We must have more! -Yes!
Chips!
Chips!
Shut up.
It was Satan's.
-Goodbye, Gigantico. -Thank you.
The Villains vs. Heroes tournament is
approaching, and it's finally time to reveal...
Which of you will die, I mean,
fighting for the School of Villains.
And of course I will do that.
on my 80 inch, ultra-HD,
4K, plasma OLED TV!
Yes. And those who get the
prestigious assignment are...
Waldemar and Nils! No,
I'm kidding. Stephanie!
-Yes, I do! -Whisper!
-Stephanie? Now I have to put my foot down.
-Shut up, Illvar!
Tell me, are you the principal?
-Well, then we'll say it.
-I'm not the principal.
-Yeah, maybe...
-No, damn it! You're not the principal!
It was poorly done.
Yes. You will face
stiff resistance.
They have chosen two really strong
students from the School of Heroes.
You'll never be a hero. Your
mother would be ashamed of you.
Wait for me. What are you doing?
-I have to see who took the crystal.
-You're already the coolest guy in school.
Wow!
Also the V. It is important
that you get the V with you.
Yes. Principal Illvar.
AND?
-I'm scared.
-Okay, you can stay out here and keep watch.
But what do I do if
someone comes?
-Just say: "Someone is coming".
-Can't I say like a bird instead?
-Okay. -What bird?
I don't know. A cockatoo?
Okay...
What the hell does a
cockatoo sound like?
Stephanie!
No!
I'll take it!
Take some chloroform, you devil!
-I have to take care of this.
-I want to come.
You are so brave. I love you.
"Don't press here"? I press.
Door opens.
Welcome, Fantastica.
Cockatoo!
Cockatoo!
Stephanie? Hallo? Stephanie?
-Cockatoo! Wake up.
-The villain of villains.
-What?
-What the hell are you doing here?
Sorry, Stephanie, but
I saw AK running out,
and then I saw you
lying there. I was scared.
Why do you fable about
the villain of villains?
-I think she's alive.
-What? How sick.
-She and AK work together.
-We have to tell the principal.
Absolutely not. We
don't know who to trust.
I know where the villain's
villain's base is located.
How can you know that?
Yeah, because... Fuck it.
It's not important. Listen.
If the villain of villains gets his hands on
the crystal, it could be the end for us all.
We have to go
there and stop them.
Wait a minute. "We"
as in you, you, me-we?
You're right. We need help.
Executioner!
It's the principal's car.
- Executioner, can you drive?
- Executioner, executioner.
-I'm driving. -What?
I've played a lot of GTA.
Okay...
Okay.
Let go of my face!
-Is everyone okay?
-That was the coolest thing I've ever tried!
Uh-huh. Aren't these kinds of
places full of deadly radiation?
It will take a year to
find anything in here.
Where is Sven?
Hello?
-Stephanie! -Yo? Pst.
Down here.
-Shit! -Shit!
-Who are you?
-I'm your mother, man.
Mom? What are you doing here?
Your ass. No, I'm
Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle-Shunan?
-Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle-Shunnon?
-Particle-Shunnon, yes!
Since the nuclear power plant closed,
I've been waiting for someone to touch me.
Now you are my slave.
And with your help, I
will destroy the world!
No! Stop! Do you want to die?
-No. -Then stop.
-Who are you talking to?
-No one.
Namely. Not anyone, you idiot.
Oh, shit. You heard me, right?
-Fuck you!
-Fuck you yourself, you idiot!
Slave! Hold me closer to her.
Not so close! There.
You won't mess with me.
-Die! -I can't breathe!
-Where is the villain of villains?
-I don't know. Slave, run!
-I'm choking you! -Air...
-Where is the villain of villains?
-I don't know.
-Slave, run away now!
-I am not your slave!
How disgusting...
What have you eaten?
Tell me where the villain of villains is hiding,
or you'll end up in the executioner's butt.
No, not in the butt, please.
I don't know who you're talking
about, but I saw activity in the chimney.
I tried to get there,
but I have no legs.
The chimney...
-How do I get rid of it? -Idiot.
- Executioner chop off? - No.
-Wait. -Oh, shit.
-It's hand sanitizer.
-Not hand sanitizer! Please!
You can take my life, but you
can never take my freedom...!
I love you.
-Okay...
-We have to go to the chimney. Come on.
Shut up.
-Is the villain of villains down there?
-Executioner...
I don't know.
-Help me...
-There's someone in the cage.
-Executioner! -Wait!
-AK? Where is the villain of villains?
-Executioner.
We were going to take over the world
together. She promised me incredible powers.
As soon as she got the crystal,
she didn't need me anymore.
Why would she have the crystal?
She has created the most powerful
weapon the world has ever seen.
Combined with the crystal, the
weapon gains terrible powers.
With it, she will eradicate
all villains and all heroes.
and create chaos and
anarchy throughout the world.
-Stephanie?
-Today during the hero-villain tournament.
-There's the tournament.
-That's what I said.
Shit, she's going to use the
weapon during the tournament.
-She's hitting today. -Today.
That's what I said!
Executioner, take AK to
your old cell. We're busy.
What? Wait... No!
No!
No!
Stop! Leave me alone!
Come back, you brats!
Metamorphosis! A
comment on the situation?
How are you
today? See you later.
Testicles, testicle
one, testicle two.
Testicles, testicle
one, testicle two.
Perfect. Testicle.
Look there! There
you are, Stephanie!
-Where the hell have you been?
-Stop the competition.
-The villain of villains...
-Focus! Or you'll end up in the torture chamber!
-And you two, get up in the stands now!
-But Stephanie is right.
I'm one second away from
completely freaking out! Okay?
Up in the stands! Let's go!
-You too, Stephanie.
-Why aren't you listening to me?
We'll crush them!
What the hell was
that? Try again.
That's how I react to it.
Where the hell have you been?
Well, you've become a villain,
Stephanie? It really suits you.
I'm so looking forward
to crushing you.
-Stephanie, can I talk to you for a moment?
-Yes, yes.
She has the Crystal
of Metamorphosis.
They're planning an
attack. She's built a weapon.
We have to stop the
competitions. Everyone is in danger.
And why should I trust you?
-You're a villain. -Not really.
I'm just pretending
to look for the crystal.
Bleach!
That was... smart.
Get out of here.
What? We have to get everyone
out of here and stop the competitions.
-Why aren't you listening...?
-Go out and sit down!
Okay.
Welcome to the grand
tournament of villains vs. heroes!
It will be decided
in three disciplines!
First discipline:
nails and chiefs' ball!
Second discipline: MMA!
With bites and ball kicks
for those who have balls!
Right in the balls!
The Third Discipline is
a true classic and horror.
Thumb war!
And as a guest judge
we have Donald Thumb!
-Stop the competition! Everyone has to go out!
-Hello!
-What's going on, Dad?
-I don't know.
She's just a little scared
to compete, that coward.
Have fun!
What the hell? You're
embarrassing me!
Listen up. Everyone's
life could be in danger.
Isn't it to avoid
competing for the villains?
Because you want
to be a hero yourself.
-What?
-Just like Mother Fantastica.
What the hell are
you blabbering about?
I'm not a villain in reality.
I'm just pretending
to look for the crystal.
No. An infiltrator?
That can't be right.
-Sorry. -Stephanie...
Why?
But listen now. The villain of
villains is planning to attack...
Stop. You should honor your mother, who
sacrificed her life, instead of spreading lies.
The villain of villains is
dead. Everyone knows that.
You lying, little traitor.
You are immediately expelled
from school! Do you understand?
And not only that. Sword!
Fuck it. Charles, take her away!
-No! -Get out! Get out of here!
-I'm telling the truth!
-Get out of here, Stephanie!
I swear! Hello! Let me go!
Fuck jer! Fuck!
Tax...
Stephanie?
Hello? Stephanie, open the door.
Open now.
Villain-villain.
What kind of car is that?
- Principal.
- Principal? Can you be here?
-Everyone's right. I'm a loser.
-No. You... No.
That's not right. You're
definitely not, Stephanie.
-You're absolutely amazing. I'm so proud...
-Stop it!
It doesn't matter what I do.
Everything is enough in your eyes.
You never challenge me. Not even
with a little constructive criticism.
If you had pushed me harder like
Mom, my powers might still have worked.
Stephanie, you have no strength.
What the hell are you
talking about? I have!
When Mom was alive, I could
lift balls, move chairs... and stuff.
Why do you think it only
worked when she was involved?
-She was the one who did it.
-Look, Mom!
-Mom, look! -Yes, I see it.
-You're lying.
-You... little darling...
You are not her.
But you are you.
-And you have to find your own way.
-I hate you.
Out of the car.
Get out of the car, I said!
Okay.
Now, damn it...
-He turned into a sausage!
-He turned into a sausage!
Surprise, morkneppere.
What an ugly word.
The villain of villains is back.
And yes, you saw that right.
My terrible weapon
turns you into...
...sausages!
Exactly what you
little pigs deserve.
Ouch, ooh, ooh.
Let the sausage party begin!
Fuck.
Far!
Far!
-Dad!
-She's turning us into sausages! Run!
It's the Lizardman! Open the door!
The villain of villains is out there!
Far! Shit! Far! Shovel-Buster!
Far!
Sven! Rosmilda! And Kajsa.
Come on, there's a door here!
-Come on. -Run!
Are you afraid of me?
-My mother is still in there!
-It's all your fault!
We'll get them back. I promise.
"We"? I'm the only one
with real superpowers.
You're just super freaks.
We don't stand a chance.
Do you know what
your problem is?
You've had your head so far up your ass that you
have no idea what super freaks are capable of.
Sven and Rosmilda have the
coolest superpowers I've ever seen,
and they are the best
friends you can imagine.
Can we just forget about
this hero-villain thing?
then I know we can work as a
team and defeat this... gangster.
I trust you.
I don't want to be a chorizo
sausage for the rest of my life.
What do you say?
Yeah, okay then, geek
of geeks. What's the plan?
Villain? Half?
Well, there's no one left?
-No one who can defeat me?
-Hello, rat face!
You forgot me, bitch.
Okay, listen carefully. We're going
to need a video monitor and a camera.
A small, clammy fish face.
-Kajsa, how fast can you be?
-Fast enough.
Sven, you know what to do.
-Yes. -Okay, let's go.
Beer, beer, beer,
beer, beer, beer!
-I can't. I'm too scared.
-Think of something that makes you happy.
Be well!
What are you planning to do?
Goodbye, fiskefjs.
-Go! -Sven, now.
Sven. Your happiest.
Your best happy place.
Look here.
Wow, Sven. What a six-pack.
I know, honey. I know.
I'm being hypnotized.
It works!
Did you really think your pitiful
little tricks would work on me?
Turn into sausages
now! Turn into sausages!
Back!
Air traffic control,
countdown confirmed.
...seven, six,
Five, four, three,
two, one, guy!
Target locked. Del. Three
seconds to engagement.
Three, two, one, skirmish!
-Make them human again!
-I don't know how it works!
How dirty! You little pigs!
-There must be a reverse button.
-Come on!
-Give it to me and I'll show you.
-I'll try!
She is coming!
Hold your breath!
Is she gone?
Grey!
No!
I killed your mother.
Now it's your turn.
Stephanie!
Run!
-Glasses sausage. -No!
No!
What do you want?
Well, hello to you.
I don't know if you're
brave or just stupid,
exactly like your mother!
Are you ready to
meet your destiny?
Never! Off! Let go of me!
No one beats my sister over me!
Stephanie?
If you're ever going
to be a hero, it's now.
Then come on!
Oh no...
Pathetic!
-Shut up! -Six arms!
You are no hero,
and you never will be.
Now you should see
what six arms taste like!
-Mom, look! -Yes, I see it.
Why did you trick me?
I just wanted to encourage
you to keep trying.
-I don't have powers like you.
-Not like me, no, but like you.
Why don't you
listen to your father?
You just have to
dare to let them go.
-But how? -You know that.
Close your eyes.
What do you feel?
I'm angry because
you're not here anymore.
It's okay to be angry.
Don't hold it back.
You have to find your own way.
That which is one's
supervillain power.
Just be angry.
Stephanie? Did you
see me die? Stephanie?
-What the hell happened?
-Is everyone okay?
You... You're back!
And it's thanks to
me! Pelle-Buster!
I defeated the villain of
villains! I have her toe as proof!
I defeated...
Yes... She also
helped a little bit.
-Dad! -My treasure chests!
Stephanie!
Are you okay?
God, you're so hot.
Help! Can we get some help?
We need help!
-Hi, honey, hi. -What happened?
You had a very high fever, but it has
gone down now, so everything is fine.
-Is everyone okay?
-Yes, everyone is fine.
-Thanks to you.
-It was probably thanks to you too.
You were right.
I'm not her. I'm me.
-Daddy's little piggy.
-Don't say piggy.
That's right. It's great
to have you home, kitty.
Is she here?
Executioner? What the
hell are you doing here?
Executioner! Executioner!
You should have seen yourself!
You were so cheated, Stephanie!
Stephanie! There are bad
guys here! Let me go, Stephanie!
Stephanie!
Stephanie!
Stephanie? Come on. There's
someone who wants to meet with you.
-Who the hell let you in?
-Shut up.
Hi, Stephanie.
-You saved us all. -Yes.
Just like your mother did.
And of course, I would like to
welcome you to the School of Heroes.
That is, as soon as
you feel a little fresher.
We have found a good psychologist who
can help you with your aggression problem.
-Yes? -Yes.
Well, Stephanie though...
-Uh-huh. -Are you okay?
Stephanie, have you thought this
through? You won't get another chance...
I understand an allusion. Quiet!
Out! Out! Out!
Psst? Psst!
-Who's there? Show yourself.
-Down here, sister.
Who are you?
I'm your mother, idiot.
No, I'm Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle...? -Particle-Shunnon.
-Particle...? -Particle-Shunnon!
And with your help, I'm
going to take over the world!
Yes, yes, yes!