Slam Dance (1987) Movie Script
Great tune. That was
a request from my mom...
back in England.
And this is
Richard Blade on KSLM.
Let's go to the phones again
here on the Blade Line.
Give us a call with
your personal problems...
predictions,
and political beefs.
Hello. You're on the air.
We'll get back to you.
Now, let's go to our
next caller here at KSLM.
Hello. You're on the air.
lt's Cletus, man.
l'm in trouble again.
Oh, no. Not you, Cletus.
What's wrong now?
Man, l'm in the county jail.
So, what happened, Cletus?
There was this
chick, all right?
She was unbelievable.
She was on
the corner of Sunset.
So, what is it
you need, Cletus?
Give me some advice, Blade.
l need someone to get me out of
here, man.
Cletus, you're a lucky man...
because l got this friend
who plays a mean guitar...
and he's studying law,
and right now...
he's in county jail.
So, look for Pete. Cell 47.
He can get anyone out.
Wait. What's his name?
l'm sorry, Cletus.
We're out of time.
This is my only call, man.
Next caller, please.
Hello. You're on the air.
Hello.
l'm not the suspicious type...
Hold it, hold it.
This isn't me.
Did l fool you?
This is an answering machine.
Pretty nifty, huh?
So, if you wait for the tone...
l'll be happy to
pass it along to Drood...
whenever he comes home
or wakes up...
or whatever he does.
Are you ready?
Drood, pick up the phone.
l know you're there.
Pick up the phone, Drood!
Shit!
Helen--
Look, how many times
do l ask you to do me a favor?
l'm out the door.
No, no. Forget it.
Forget it.
l took her to school already.
Jeez. Listen,
l was up all night.
l don't even want
to hear about this.
This is exactly
the kind of thing...
l talked to you about.
l know!
And l was late.
l don't know what
to say. l gotta go.
Helen, l--
Hello.
Drood, this is Wilson.
Where is ''Drood's World?''
Hold it. This isn't me.
lt's my answering machine.
Shit.
Did l fool you?
Drood is unable to come
to the phone right now...
but if you'd
like to leave...
a nice little message...
just wait for the tone.
lt's deadline time.
Pick up the phone.
l've got better things to do...
than chase after you
all the time.
Drood?
Drood, if it isn't in my
hands by 4:00, you're fired.
Asshole.
Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi!
Hi.
You sold it?
l can't believe it.
You sold it?
You're very hot
in certain circles...
right now, young man,
thanks to me.
Jimbo...
this is $500!
Stop!
This is a silk shirt.
And a great tie.
Who?
-Look, a guy--
-Who?
The guy was
real tasteful, OK?
He had dark glasses
and a white stick.
What do you care?
l sold it, didn't l?
Hey, Bean!
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, baby.
Listen, l'm sorry
about this morning.
Are you taking me
to your house?
No, honey. l just
stopped by to say hello.
Listen, what were you
doing over there?
Beating up a boy!
Feel my muscle.
Let's see.
That is excellent.
Hello.
May l help you?
l was just saying
hello to the kid.
l'm her father.
My name's Charles Drood.
We haven't met.
l'm Margaret Bell,
Elizabeth's teacher.
Who?
Oh, Elizabeth. Right.
We call her Bean.
Drood, show her your teeth.
You must be new here.
Do the teeth thing,
Daddy, please.
Oh, honey, l don't
think Miss Bell...
really wants
to be bothered.
Missus.
Mrs. Bell.
And actually, l'd like
to see this teeth thing.
l lost them
in a fight.
Your back teeth?
Daddy likes
to tell stories.
Mommy says he tells
stories all the time.
Blade Line. Let's go
to our next call.
Hello.
You're on the air.
You got to help me!
l'm calling you from a pit
where my house used to be.
Um, excuse me.
What's your name, sir?
My name's Ethan,
and you got to help me.
This UFO-thing, looked
like a big Buick hubcap...
come down, sucked up
my furniture with--
l don't know, some sort
of a hose or something.
Sucked up everything.
l went to get
the bowling trophies...
you know, it's
important to me...
to get my bowling trophies...
and, you're not gonna
believe it...
l come back, my family was gone.
What?
Bad move, Ethan.
Hi, Drood!
Oh, my God!
Drood!
That didn't hurt.
Arrest that kid.
Would you grow up?
Children, please!
How do you do it?
Do what?
Well, you walk in
and everything falls apart.
Helen, l got hit in the nuts...
with a fucking rubber chicken.
Right, laugh.
l'm sorry.
l got to sit down.
Oh, come on.
What are you doing here, Drood?
l just...
l, l, l...
Helen, what do you think...
about you and l
getting back together?
Yes, l need--
l need a hand here.
So, which hand
would you like, sir?
Listen, don't fool around.
l'm trying to make a chicken.
So, you're--you're
into chickens?
-No. No.
-Oh, you're cooking? l'm sorry.
ls this chicken fully dressed?
l don't know, feathers
count as a dre--
God!
Mr. Drood?
My card.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here!
lt's OK.
Where is it,
Mr. Drood?
Where's what?
You got to tell us.
OK? OK?
l don't know what
you're talking about.
Where is it?
You got the wrong guy, here.
She gave you something.
-Who?
-Who?
Ha, who?
Fuck this!
Let me get
back there!
Be just a few minutes,
Mr. Drood.
Thank you.
Anybody tell you to move?
l'm not--
Sit over here!
Look, l think--
Listen, l am not
supposed to be--
No one is.
Look, l...
You are making
a big mistake!
l'm going to kill
every fuckin' guy in here.
You fucked my wife?
What's her name?
Oh, no.
No! No!
Hold it!
Wait a second!
Hey! Hey!
Hey, which one of you guys
is Charles Drood?
l am.
So, you never saw either one of
these men before?
Nope.
And if you saw them again...
do you think you could
identify them?
Yeah, maybe.
Listen,
l don't know.
They didn't take
anything, right?
Nope. Nothing.
And you don't know
what they were after?
That it?
Not quite, Mr. Drood.
You see, your kidnapping
may be connected...
to a case that we're
investigating here...
in which you may be
considered a suspect.
A suspect for what?
Well, l have
to advise you that...
you have a right
to remain silent...
and have the services
of a lawyer...
but if you haven't done
anything wrong...
you've got nothing
to worry about...
and l can get you out of here...
a hell of a lot sooner.
l don't need a lawyer.
All right.
What can you tell me
about a girl named...
Yolanda Caldwell?
Nothing.
Nothing!
They just found her
body today, Mr. Drood.
You're supposed to say
you love me now.
''l would characterize
the relationship...
''as primarily sexual as l knew--
''as l never knew very much
about her private life...
''outside of our relationship--
''her marital status,
place of birth...
friends, et cetera''?
Right.
Weren't you curious?
She wouldn't tell me.
''The last time l saw her...
we had agreed
to go away together.''
No, l--l--l said that
l would meet her there. l...
l didn't exactly say
that l would go away with her.
''l never went to the station.''
Well, why not?
l don't know.
l didn't go!
l've got a wife.
l've got a kid!
l just didn't go, OK?
OK, OK.
Let's go over it again.
Frank.
''l met Yolanda Caldwell...
''at a party in
a West Hollywood dance club...
run by a friend
named James Campbell.''
Hello there, darling.
Fancy a little dance, do you?
Yes.
Excuse me.
Excuse me!
ls that one of those
trick lighters?
No.
ls that a wedding ring?
You ask a lot of questions.
l never met a woman
with a gun before.
Were you in love
with her, Mr. Drood?
You still haven't
answered me, Mr. Drood.
Did you love her?
l don't know.
l don't know
what that means.
Mr. Drood.
Yeah, uh...
Listen, Mrs. Raines...
l'm probably going to
be moving from here.
What?
Where's your hearing aid?
What?
l'll talk to you later.
Oh, Mr. Drood.
What?
What?
Your envelope!
l've written
a letter of complaint...
to the postal service
in Washington, D.C.
l didn't want to send it
locally...
because l'm sure that
our mailman superior...
is a part and parcel
of the conspiracy.
l can't go back.
What conspiracy?
Mr. Drood...
you look terrible.
What conspiracy?
To lose our mail.
Haven't you noticed
anything missing?
Come on.
OK. Go to the window.
Go to the window!
Turn around.
Close the blinds.
Get down on your knees.
Come on.
You don't have to do this.
l promise you--
Shut up.
She thought you
were so smart.
OK. Let's see how smart you are.
OK? All right.
You got an envelope like this?
Yes? OK, go get it.
Go get it.
Fast! Quick! Come on!
Put it down on the table.
OK, put that inside.
Don't look at it,
just put it inside.
That's very good.
You just forget this.
l'm doing you a big favor here.
Hey! Hey!
What, are you crazy?
Give me the lighter.
You are nuts.
Why can't you say it?
Give me the lighter.
So damn guarded.
Me?
What about you?
l have to be.
Why?
What could be so terrible?
You'll be there?
l said l would.
You'll really be there?
l'll be there.
Daddy.
Am l going high?
Real high, baby.
Come on, let's go
play in the sand!
Let's go play in the sand.
Drood?
You all right?
Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, l...
-You're sure?
-l'm just off someplace again.
Good.
l talked to Jim this morning.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He said your place
got broken into.
l told him not
to tell you anything.
Come on, he just knew
l'd be concerned...
that's all.
lt was nothing.
What do you mean, it's nothing?
Somebody breaks
into your apartment...
and you're gonna try
and tell me it's nothing now?
What is that?
lt was nothing, really.
They didn't even take anything.
ls that for me?
Yes.
Ketchup only.
Thank you.
l've been thinking about, um...
what we were talking about
the other day.
What?
About us getting back together.
And?
l don't think it's such
a good idea right now.
Yeah.
l don't think anything
has changed with you.
l don't know.
Up you go.
You don't have to
eat all of it.
Just what you can.
Mr. Drood.
l know. That's a new lock.
This is a new lock here.
ls it?
Listen, Mrs. Raines--
l don't have a key for that.
l made you a key.
lf there should be
a fire or something--
Fuck. l made you this key!
Do you have one for me?
Oh, God.
Tequila.
What?
Shot of tequila.
Five bucks.
l'm a friend of Jim's.
Friend of Jim's?
Yeah.
Five bucks.
Five tequilas, then.
What are you doing?
l'm not doing anything.
l'm doing what you said.
Nothin'.
ls that what l said?
What do you want?
Huh?
She loved you.
Somebody kills her...
and you just blow it off.
lsn't that what you wanted?
You put a fuckin' gun
to my head.
ls that what's stopping you?
The gun?
Who do you think you're fooling?
lt ain't the gun that stops us.
We're just chicken shit.
See?
The lights are on...
but nobody's home.
Am l right?
Yeah.
Mr. Drood?
There's just the two.
There's this one...
and follow-up
on page 3.
Oh, God.
So, what do you think?
l think we got a guy
with a wife and a kid...
and he's been cheating on her.
l wanted to be different
for a long time...
but l was the same.
l was always the same.
l can't go back.
Back to what?
Van Gogh's Pizza,
Teriyaki Chicken...
and Burrito, Too.
You want to make an order?
Hello.
Hold it. This isn't me.
Zeta Temporary Office Services.
What are you
doing here, Mr. Drood?
This is a crime scene.
You're interfering with
a police investigation.
What the hell are
you doing here?
l didn't kill her.
Who's there?
What's the matter?
Jesus.
You scared the shit out of me.
How did you get in here?
Mrs. Raines let me in.
Nice.
What's all this, then?
This is that
Yolanda girl, isn't it?
Yeah.
You've been walking
the same cage...
for too long, my friend.
Listen, Jim...
what do you know about her?
She's dead. That's what
l know about her.
Dead and gone.
Hey, l heard a terrific joke
at the club tonight.
Yeah, l met her that
night at your club.
What night was that?
That reception for that
congressman asshole.
Oh, yeah.
Who did she come with?
Don't know.
She must have come
with somebody.
How should l know?
Look, have a drink.
Do you want to hear
this joke or not?
Yeah.
Right.
How many
surrealist painters...
does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
How many?
The fish.
The fish!
Oh, come on.
Oh, right, right.
All right, a bloke goes
into an army surplus store.
He says, ''Excuse me...
have you got any
camouflage trousers?''
The bloke says, ''Yeah,
but we can't find them.''
What?
He says, ''Yeah,
but we can't find them.''
The body.
All right,
Sherlock...
you tell one.
The body.
The body, yeah?
Yeah, the body?
What's that, then...
some kind of minimalist joke,
then, or what?
Yolanda Caldwell.
No, she's still here.
Nobody picked her up?
Nope.
Did you...
contact her husband?
There wasn't any husband.
You know something
about a husband?
No, l just thought, you know...
she was married.
What is your name?
Um...l'm...
a friend.
l need your name.
Nick...
son.
Nixon.
Richard Nixon.
lt's with an ''x''.
Want to see God?
You're fuckin' fallin'
apart on me, buddy.
He didn't get
that envelope, right?
Right.
l told you.
He don't know nothin'.
Then what is he doing
down at the morgue...
asking about her husband?
Nancy...Barron.
Nye.
Bobby Nye.
God.
-Hey, Smiley. How you doing?
-Hi, John.
How you doin'? OK.
So, what are you doing here?
l've got to talk to you
about this Drood case.
What's on your mind?
Let's walk, OK?
Sure.
The kid's innocent, John.
The guy is sick.
Be straight with me, John.
You're framing him
to protect yourself...
aren't you?
No.
l'm protecting you, Smiley.
Zeta Temp, remember?
Took you to a party, John.
l got you laid.
Hey!
What the fuck are you doing?
Yeah, you. l'm talking to you.
l like...
l don't know why--
You think this is a joke, huh?
l'm sick of it, man.
l want you to leave me
the fuck alone!
Zeta Temporary Office Services.
Yeah, uh...
Do you know a Yolanda Caldwell?
Miss Caldwell is
no longer with us.
l have Miss Schell available.
She was trained
by Miss Caldwell.
She was trained by?
Um, could l make
an appointment with her?
Mr. Charles?
Brought your typewriter
and everything.
Just in case.
Can l get you something?
Some water?
Uh, no, thank you.
You're an artist.
Yeah, listen, uh, miss...
-Miss Schell.
-Miss Schell--
Look. Would you like
to get started?
Uh...yeah.
Yeah, are you sure...
l can't get you something?
Some coffee, tea?
OK, you fix some tea...
and l'll get set up.
Listen, maybe l
just ought--
You're kidding, right?
No.
l ain't Santa Claus.
Wait a second.
-Just relax.
-Wait a second.
Look, do you want
to get it on or not?
Not! Not.
That's Nancy Barron.
What did you say?
-Listen, l don't know nothin'.
-What did you say?
Oh, God.
Nancy what?
Nancy what?
What is her name?
What is her name?
lt's Yolanda.
lt's Yolanda Caldwell.
You said another name.
Nancy something.
Nancy what?
Nancy Barron?
Dad, look!
Hi.
Oh, shit.
Helen, this isn't...
what it is.
-What is it?
-Just give me a second.
Would you excuse us,
please. Helen...
She's a model, right?
No. She's a secretary.
-You are unbelievable.
-Helen, l swear to God...
Oh, Jesus!
Helen!
Helen, wait!
-Listen...
-Fuck you!
l can explain.
Just slow down,
you'll kill me here.
You're sick, Drood.
You really need help.
Helen, please, l swear to you
it's not what it seems like.
Helen!
Oh, fuck!
Mrs. Raines!
Mrs. Raines?
Mrs. Raines!
l need that key back!
Hey. Hey! Hey!
What else did you take
out of the envelope?
What?
What else did you take?
Oh, l don't have any.
You took these things!
What else did you take out
of the envelope? Huh?
-Nothing.
-What else?
Tell me what you saw.
-What did you see?
-Don't hurt me!
-What else did you see?
-Please!
-What else?
-Please, don't hurt me!
Please, don't...
-hurt me.
-Oh, God.
l'm sorry.
What?
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
l'm sorry.
God!
You the one that
wanted to see Smiley?
Come on.
Hey, Smiley, you
going fishing tomorrow?
No. You got me
for two more weeks.
OK, a toast to Smiley.
Been a hard-nosed cop.
Yay! All right!
Smile!
Come on! Come on!
Move it!
Move!
Helen.
lt's me.
Oh, God!
Let me in.
Look, l don't
want you here.
Helen, listen to me.
Helen, open the door.
No.
Helen, you've got
the phone off the hook.
Yeah, that's right.
Helen, open the door.
-No!
-l am in trouble here.
l'm in real trouble.
No! l'm not listening
to any of this...
so just get away
from my house!
Damn you.
Drood?
Helen, l'm sorry.
What is this?
-What is this all about?
-l'm sorry.
-What the hell--
-You can't just come in anymore.
-l'm sorry, it's just...
You've got to listen to me.
You've got to.
There was this woman.
Wait, wait, hold--
another woman?
Wait a minute!
You're going to tell me
you came here tonight...
to talk to me about
another woman?
Helen, please, you've
got to listen to the--
-Helen?
-The whole stor--
The whole thing,
l swear to G--
l'm gonna throw up.
Drood, l want you to leave.
Drood.
l want to see Bean.
He just went crazy.
He just went crazy.
Did you look
through all these?
Not yet.
Uh-huh, yep.
Excuse me.
Are you Mrs. Drood?
Yes, sir.
Well, l'm sorry
to bother you...
at your work
here, but...
You're from the police.
Yes, ma'am.
l'm Detective Smiley...
Benjamin Smiley.
Here's my card.
Do you mind if l sit down?
No, not at all.
l'd just like to ask you
a couple of questions.
Excuse me.
Finewood Nursery School.
Helen, it's me.
Uh, Mrs. Hernandez...
Uh, yes.
Could you call back later?
Yes, l'm in
a meeting right now.
Helen, please don't hang up!
-Uh-huh.
-Listen...
l've got to talk to you.
Thank you very much, bye-bye.
Helen, no please--
...with the death
of Yolanda Caldwell...
is the murder
of Adrienne Schell...
who was found shot
through the head...
in the apartment of
newspaper cartoonist...
C.C. Drood
earlier this morning.
Drood, previously questioned
in the case...
is now the prime suspect
in the investigation.
Police have issued...
an all-points bulletin
for his arrest.
He is described
as a 30-year-old white male...
5 feet, 11 inches,
180 pounds...
thought to be driving
a 1960--
Scoot over.
lt's not just you and me.
There's a lot of people
involved in this--
big people--
anyone who went
to a party.
Drood has got
to go down on this...
or we all go down.
Hi, Jim.
Have you talked to
Drood today at all?
No, uh, damn!
Drood had a book.
lt was a little
red appointment book.
And he used to write down
all of his important things.
And l think he kept it in here.
Now, have you seen it?
Did you find that in here?
Oh, he was always
such a nice man.
We're not open yet, pal.
OK, Don, l want this bar
ready by 9:30.
Oh, Christ.
Come on.
What are you going to do?
You got something to drink?
l'm afraid to go in
a fuckin' liquor store!
Drood, you're making
the front page, man.
You're on television.
Helen's going crazy...
and Bean's having
trouble at school.
Are you going to listen
to me or not?
No! You're a selfish fuck!
l'm calling the police...
to tell them you
want to turn yourself--
Come on, Drood, stop, now!
l need your car.
-My car?
-Yeah.
Forget it.
-Give me the keys.
-No.
Give me the fucking keys!
''Bobby Nye.''
''Nancy Barron...
aide to Bobby Nye.''
-Gee, uh...
-Never mind. Never mind.
No, no, don't bother yourself.
George.
Would you get this gentleman
another drink?
Here, let me introduce you
to a few people.
Uh, no.
This is Councilman Hancock and
his wife Dorothy.
Supervisor Gleland,
Mr. McBragg...
and Patricia Menninger.
And this is Mr. Drood...
isn't it?
Mr. Drood is an artist.
l'm afraid l'm not familiar
with your work, Mr. Drood.
Oh, you will be, Pat.
Excuse me.
Your champagne.
May l get you
anything else, Miss Nye?
Bobby Nye?
You're Bobby Nye?
Let me show you around.
Come on.
What do you think, Mr. Drood?
l overpaid a bit for that.
But l think its value is
about to skyrocket.
That's what usually happens
when an artist dies.
You killed her.
That depends.
l prefer to think
that you killed her.
She betrayed me.
Over what?
Some...some...
some...pictures?
Some photographs?
You don't know
what love is...
do you?
What a fuckin' joke.
Let me tell you something.
She was nice to me.
She was very nice to me.
But Miss Nye told me
to hit her...
and l did.
And she fell.
She hit her fuckin' head
on a coffee table.
She broke her neck.
lsn't that something?
The whole thing's
a fuckin' accident.
Well...
Please.
Please.
l'm sorry, Mr. Drood.
No!
No.
-Hello.
-Helen.
-Drood.
-Are you alone?
No, no, not exactly.
l need your help.
Yes, yes, l know.
Do you remember
our second honeymoon?
Do...what?
Do you remember the room?
Honey, l don't
see what this has--
lt's OK.
Just listen, please.
-Do you remember the room?
-Yes.
Do you remember the room number?
Yes, of course l do, it's--
Don't say it.
Just, just do you
remember it?
-Yes.
-OK.
-Drood, are you--
-l'm OK.
Where have you been?
l've been looking everywhere
for you, Drood.
What do you want me to do?
l need your help.
-OK, l'm listening.
-l need some money...
and a change of clothes.
OK.
l--l will be there
as soon as l can.
Jim, will you watch
Bean for me, please?
You're going, then?
Helen, he's off his bloody head.
Hello.
-Detective Smiley, please.
-This is he.
Detective, this is Helen Drood.
l know where my husband is.
Helen, this is
completely insane.
Where are my keys?
-Helen!
-Jim, please let me go.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Thank you.
Thank you.
lt's Bean's.
l thought you might need a hat.
What's wrong?
l'm just imagining
myself on the run...
in this hat.
Drood, stop it.
Fugitive elf!
No, Drood!
Drood! Drood!
lt's Smiley.
What?
l called Detective Smiley.
You what?
All you have to do
is talk to him.
That's all.
Helen, Helen, are you crazy?
-No, just talk to him!
-No!
-Drood, no!
-Helen, no!
Helen, don't open the door!
-Helen!
-He's got a gun.
Mr. Drood.
Can you hear me, Mr. Drood?
l just want
to talk to you.
-Helen, get out of there.
-Look, Mr. Drood...
l'm going to show you
my hands, all right?
OK, l'm gonna come
into the room now--
No!
Drood.
Helen, get--
l'm on your side, Mr. Drood.
Drood, just listen to him, OK?
He's lying!
He's in on it.
All you have to do
is listen to him!
l really want
to help you, Mr. Drood.
l know you didn't kill anybody.
Put it down.
What the hell are you
doing here, John?
Put it down.
Now, kick it over here.
l told you to stay out of this.
lt's over, John.
Give me the gun.
Give me--
Smiley, don't!
Don't make me do this.
Give me the gun, John!
Give me the--
No!
No!
-Come on.
-What'll we do?
-Get the stuff.
-What are we gonna do?
-Come on.
-No.
-We got to get out of here.
-No! No.
Go! Go! Go!
Would you please--
l told him you
couldn't kill anybody!
l wasn't trying.
lf l was trying,
l would have missed.
Oh, God!
Drood, what are we gonna do?
Fuck!
Now l'm a cop killer.
l am dead.
l'm...
Drood.
l'm dead.
Drood, you're scaring me.
l'm a dead man, Helen!
Where's the tool box?
l've got it.
l got it.
-Go! Go! Go!
-l'm going, l'm going!
What are you doing?
Turn up here.
No, right!
Dear God, Drood!
-l'm gonna kill myself.
-What?
Drood, just say something
that makes sense, all right?
Tell them that l forced
you to drive me up here...
that l said that...
l had to meet somebody.
You picked me up
outside the hotel.
You weren't in the room, OK?
What do l tell Bean?
Tell her that l'll be there.
OK?
OK, OK.
Take care of yourself.
l love you.
Lights are on...
but nobody's home.
''...surely goodness and mercy
shall follow me...
''all the days of my life...
''and l will dwell in
the house of the Lord forever.''
-Helen...
-Drop dead.
a request from my mom...
back in England.
And this is
Richard Blade on KSLM.
Let's go to the phones again
here on the Blade Line.
Give us a call with
your personal problems...
predictions,
and political beefs.
Hello. You're on the air.
We'll get back to you.
Now, let's go to our
next caller here at KSLM.
Hello. You're on the air.
lt's Cletus, man.
l'm in trouble again.
Oh, no. Not you, Cletus.
What's wrong now?
Man, l'm in the county jail.
So, what happened, Cletus?
There was this
chick, all right?
She was unbelievable.
She was on
the corner of Sunset.
So, what is it
you need, Cletus?
Give me some advice, Blade.
l need someone to get me out of
here, man.
Cletus, you're a lucky man...
because l got this friend
who plays a mean guitar...
and he's studying law,
and right now...
he's in county jail.
So, look for Pete. Cell 47.
He can get anyone out.
Wait. What's his name?
l'm sorry, Cletus.
We're out of time.
This is my only call, man.
Next caller, please.
Hello. You're on the air.
Hello.
l'm not the suspicious type...
Hold it, hold it.
This isn't me.
Did l fool you?
This is an answering machine.
Pretty nifty, huh?
So, if you wait for the tone...
l'll be happy to
pass it along to Drood...
whenever he comes home
or wakes up...
or whatever he does.
Are you ready?
Drood, pick up the phone.
l know you're there.
Pick up the phone, Drood!
Shit!
Helen--
Look, how many times
do l ask you to do me a favor?
l'm out the door.
No, no. Forget it.
Forget it.
l took her to school already.
Jeez. Listen,
l was up all night.
l don't even want
to hear about this.
This is exactly
the kind of thing...
l talked to you about.
l know!
And l was late.
l don't know what
to say. l gotta go.
Helen, l--
Hello.
Drood, this is Wilson.
Where is ''Drood's World?''
Hold it. This isn't me.
lt's my answering machine.
Shit.
Did l fool you?
Drood is unable to come
to the phone right now...
but if you'd
like to leave...
a nice little message...
just wait for the tone.
lt's deadline time.
Pick up the phone.
l've got better things to do...
than chase after you
all the time.
Drood?
Drood, if it isn't in my
hands by 4:00, you're fired.
Asshole.
Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi!
Hi.
You sold it?
l can't believe it.
You sold it?
You're very hot
in certain circles...
right now, young man,
thanks to me.
Jimbo...
this is $500!
Stop!
This is a silk shirt.
And a great tie.
Who?
-Look, a guy--
-Who?
The guy was
real tasteful, OK?
He had dark glasses
and a white stick.
What do you care?
l sold it, didn't l?
Hey, Bean!
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, baby.
Listen, l'm sorry
about this morning.
Are you taking me
to your house?
No, honey. l just
stopped by to say hello.
Listen, what were you
doing over there?
Beating up a boy!
Feel my muscle.
Let's see.
That is excellent.
Hello.
May l help you?
l was just saying
hello to the kid.
l'm her father.
My name's Charles Drood.
We haven't met.
l'm Margaret Bell,
Elizabeth's teacher.
Who?
Oh, Elizabeth. Right.
We call her Bean.
Drood, show her your teeth.
You must be new here.
Do the teeth thing,
Daddy, please.
Oh, honey, l don't
think Miss Bell...
really wants
to be bothered.
Missus.
Mrs. Bell.
And actually, l'd like
to see this teeth thing.
l lost them
in a fight.
Your back teeth?
Daddy likes
to tell stories.
Mommy says he tells
stories all the time.
Blade Line. Let's go
to our next call.
Hello.
You're on the air.
You got to help me!
l'm calling you from a pit
where my house used to be.
Um, excuse me.
What's your name, sir?
My name's Ethan,
and you got to help me.
This UFO-thing, looked
like a big Buick hubcap...
come down, sucked up
my furniture with--
l don't know, some sort
of a hose or something.
Sucked up everything.
l went to get
the bowling trophies...
you know, it's
important to me...
to get my bowling trophies...
and, you're not gonna
believe it...
l come back, my family was gone.
What?
Bad move, Ethan.
Hi, Drood!
Oh, my God!
Drood!
That didn't hurt.
Arrest that kid.
Would you grow up?
Children, please!
How do you do it?
Do what?
Well, you walk in
and everything falls apart.
Helen, l got hit in the nuts...
with a fucking rubber chicken.
Right, laugh.
l'm sorry.
l got to sit down.
Oh, come on.
What are you doing here, Drood?
l just...
l, l, l...
Helen, what do you think...
about you and l
getting back together?
Yes, l need--
l need a hand here.
So, which hand
would you like, sir?
Listen, don't fool around.
l'm trying to make a chicken.
So, you're--you're
into chickens?
-No. No.
-Oh, you're cooking? l'm sorry.
ls this chicken fully dressed?
l don't know, feathers
count as a dre--
God!
Mr. Drood?
My card.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here!
lt's OK.
Where is it,
Mr. Drood?
Where's what?
You got to tell us.
OK? OK?
l don't know what
you're talking about.
Where is it?
You got the wrong guy, here.
She gave you something.
-Who?
-Who?
Ha, who?
Fuck this!
Let me get
back there!
Be just a few minutes,
Mr. Drood.
Thank you.
Anybody tell you to move?
l'm not--
Sit over here!
Look, l think--
Listen, l am not
supposed to be--
No one is.
Look, l...
You are making
a big mistake!
l'm going to kill
every fuckin' guy in here.
You fucked my wife?
What's her name?
Oh, no.
No! No!
Hold it!
Wait a second!
Hey! Hey!
Hey, which one of you guys
is Charles Drood?
l am.
So, you never saw either one of
these men before?
Nope.
And if you saw them again...
do you think you could
identify them?
Yeah, maybe.
Listen,
l don't know.
They didn't take
anything, right?
Nope. Nothing.
And you don't know
what they were after?
That it?
Not quite, Mr. Drood.
You see, your kidnapping
may be connected...
to a case that we're
investigating here...
in which you may be
considered a suspect.
A suspect for what?
Well, l have
to advise you that...
you have a right
to remain silent...
and have the services
of a lawyer...
but if you haven't done
anything wrong...
you've got nothing
to worry about...
and l can get you out of here...
a hell of a lot sooner.
l don't need a lawyer.
All right.
What can you tell me
about a girl named...
Yolanda Caldwell?
Nothing.
Nothing!
They just found her
body today, Mr. Drood.
You're supposed to say
you love me now.
''l would characterize
the relationship...
''as primarily sexual as l knew--
''as l never knew very much
about her private life...
''outside of our relationship--
''her marital status,
place of birth...
friends, et cetera''?
Right.
Weren't you curious?
She wouldn't tell me.
''The last time l saw her...
we had agreed
to go away together.''
No, l--l--l said that
l would meet her there. l...
l didn't exactly say
that l would go away with her.
''l never went to the station.''
Well, why not?
l don't know.
l didn't go!
l've got a wife.
l've got a kid!
l just didn't go, OK?
OK, OK.
Let's go over it again.
Frank.
''l met Yolanda Caldwell...
''at a party in
a West Hollywood dance club...
run by a friend
named James Campbell.''
Hello there, darling.
Fancy a little dance, do you?
Yes.
Excuse me.
Excuse me!
ls that one of those
trick lighters?
No.
ls that a wedding ring?
You ask a lot of questions.
l never met a woman
with a gun before.
Were you in love
with her, Mr. Drood?
You still haven't
answered me, Mr. Drood.
Did you love her?
l don't know.
l don't know
what that means.
Mr. Drood.
Yeah, uh...
Listen, Mrs. Raines...
l'm probably going to
be moving from here.
What?
Where's your hearing aid?
What?
l'll talk to you later.
Oh, Mr. Drood.
What?
What?
Your envelope!
l've written
a letter of complaint...
to the postal service
in Washington, D.C.
l didn't want to send it
locally...
because l'm sure that
our mailman superior...
is a part and parcel
of the conspiracy.
l can't go back.
What conspiracy?
Mr. Drood...
you look terrible.
What conspiracy?
To lose our mail.
Haven't you noticed
anything missing?
Come on.
OK. Go to the window.
Go to the window!
Turn around.
Close the blinds.
Get down on your knees.
Come on.
You don't have to do this.
l promise you--
Shut up.
She thought you
were so smart.
OK. Let's see how smart you are.
OK? All right.
You got an envelope like this?
Yes? OK, go get it.
Go get it.
Fast! Quick! Come on!
Put it down on the table.
OK, put that inside.
Don't look at it,
just put it inside.
That's very good.
You just forget this.
l'm doing you a big favor here.
Hey! Hey!
What, are you crazy?
Give me the lighter.
You are nuts.
Why can't you say it?
Give me the lighter.
So damn guarded.
Me?
What about you?
l have to be.
Why?
What could be so terrible?
You'll be there?
l said l would.
You'll really be there?
l'll be there.
Daddy.
Am l going high?
Real high, baby.
Come on, let's go
play in the sand!
Let's go play in the sand.
Drood?
You all right?
Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, l...
-You're sure?
-l'm just off someplace again.
Good.
l talked to Jim this morning.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He said your place
got broken into.
l told him not
to tell you anything.
Come on, he just knew
l'd be concerned...
that's all.
lt was nothing.
What do you mean, it's nothing?
Somebody breaks
into your apartment...
and you're gonna try
and tell me it's nothing now?
What is that?
lt was nothing, really.
They didn't even take anything.
ls that for me?
Yes.
Ketchup only.
Thank you.
l've been thinking about, um...
what we were talking about
the other day.
What?
About us getting back together.
And?
l don't think it's such
a good idea right now.
Yeah.
l don't think anything
has changed with you.
l don't know.
Up you go.
You don't have to
eat all of it.
Just what you can.
Mr. Drood.
l know. That's a new lock.
This is a new lock here.
ls it?
Listen, Mrs. Raines--
l don't have a key for that.
l made you a key.
lf there should be
a fire or something--
Fuck. l made you this key!
Do you have one for me?
Oh, God.
Tequila.
What?
Shot of tequila.
Five bucks.
l'm a friend of Jim's.
Friend of Jim's?
Yeah.
Five bucks.
Five tequilas, then.
What are you doing?
l'm not doing anything.
l'm doing what you said.
Nothin'.
ls that what l said?
What do you want?
Huh?
She loved you.
Somebody kills her...
and you just blow it off.
lsn't that what you wanted?
You put a fuckin' gun
to my head.
ls that what's stopping you?
The gun?
Who do you think you're fooling?
lt ain't the gun that stops us.
We're just chicken shit.
See?
The lights are on...
but nobody's home.
Am l right?
Yeah.
Mr. Drood?
There's just the two.
There's this one...
and follow-up
on page 3.
Oh, God.
So, what do you think?
l think we got a guy
with a wife and a kid...
and he's been cheating on her.
l wanted to be different
for a long time...
but l was the same.
l was always the same.
l can't go back.
Back to what?
Van Gogh's Pizza,
Teriyaki Chicken...
and Burrito, Too.
You want to make an order?
Hello.
Hold it. This isn't me.
Zeta Temporary Office Services.
What are you
doing here, Mr. Drood?
This is a crime scene.
You're interfering with
a police investigation.
What the hell are
you doing here?
l didn't kill her.
Who's there?
What's the matter?
Jesus.
You scared the shit out of me.
How did you get in here?
Mrs. Raines let me in.
Nice.
What's all this, then?
This is that
Yolanda girl, isn't it?
Yeah.
You've been walking
the same cage...
for too long, my friend.
Listen, Jim...
what do you know about her?
She's dead. That's what
l know about her.
Dead and gone.
Hey, l heard a terrific joke
at the club tonight.
Yeah, l met her that
night at your club.
What night was that?
That reception for that
congressman asshole.
Oh, yeah.
Who did she come with?
Don't know.
She must have come
with somebody.
How should l know?
Look, have a drink.
Do you want to hear
this joke or not?
Yeah.
Right.
How many
surrealist painters...
does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
How many?
The fish.
The fish!
Oh, come on.
Oh, right, right.
All right, a bloke goes
into an army surplus store.
He says, ''Excuse me...
have you got any
camouflage trousers?''
The bloke says, ''Yeah,
but we can't find them.''
What?
He says, ''Yeah,
but we can't find them.''
The body.
All right,
Sherlock...
you tell one.
The body.
The body, yeah?
Yeah, the body?
What's that, then...
some kind of minimalist joke,
then, or what?
Yolanda Caldwell.
No, she's still here.
Nobody picked her up?
Nope.
Did you...
contact her husband?
There wasn't any husband.
You know something
about a husband?
No, l just thought, you know...
she was married.
What is your name?
Um...l'm...
a friend.
l need your name.
Nick...
son.
Nixon.
Richard Nixon.
lt's with an ''x''.
Want to see God?
You're fuckin' fallin'
apart on me, buddy.
He didn't get
that envelope, right?
Right.
l told you.
He don't know nothin'.
Then what is he doing
down at the morgue...
asking about her husband?
Nancy...Barron.
Nye.
Bobby Nye.
God.
-Hey, Smiley. How you doing?
-Hi, John.
How you doin'? OK.
So, what are you doing here?
l've got to talk to you
about this Drood case.
What's on your mind?
Let's walk, OK?
Sure.
The kid's innocent, John.
The guy is sick.
Be straight with me, John.
You're framing him
to protect yourself...
aren't you?
No.
l'm protecting you, Smiley.
Zeta Temp, remember?
Took you to a party, John.
l got you laid.
Hey!
What the fuck are you doing?
Yeah, you. l'm talking to you.
l like...
l don't know why--
You think this is a joke, huh?
l'm sick of it, man.
l want you to leave me
the fuck alone!
Zeta Temporary Office Services.
Yeah, uh...
Do you know a Yolanda Caldwell?
Miss Caldwell is
no longer with us.
l have Miss Schell available.
She was trained
by Miss Caldwell.
She was trained by?
Um, could l make
an appointment with her?
Mr. Charles?
Brought your typewriter
and everything.
Just in case.
Can l get you something?
Some water?
Uh, no, thank you.
You're an artist.
Yeah, listen, uh, miss...
-Miss Schell.
-Miss Schell--
Look. Would you like
to get started?
Uh...yeah.
Yeah, are you sure...
l can't get you something?
Some coffee, tea?
OK, you fix some tea...
and l'll get set up.
Listen, maybe l
just ought--
You're kidding, right?
No.
l ain't Santa Claus.
Wait a second.
-Just relax.
-Wait a second.
Look, do you want
to get it on or not?
Not! Not.
That's Nancy Barron.
What did you say?
-Listen, l don't know nothin'.
-What did you say?
Oh, God.
Nancy what?
Nancy what?
What is her name?
What is her name?
lt's Yolanda.
lt's Yolanda Caldwell.
You said another name.
Nancy something.
Nancy what?
Nancy Barron?
Dad, look!
Hi.
Oh, shit.
Helen, this isn't...
what it is.
-What is it?
-Just give me a second.
Would you excuse us,
please. Helen...
She's a model, right?
No. She's a secretary.
-You are unbelievable.
-Helen, l swear to God...
Oh, Jesus!
Helen!
Helen, wait!
-Listen...
-Fuck you!
l can explain.
Just slow down,
you'll kill me here.
You're sick, Drood.
You really need help.
Helen, please, l swear to you
it's not what it seems like.
Helen!
Oh, fuck!
Mrs. Raines!
Mrs. Raines?
Mrs. Raines!
l need that key back!
Hey. Hey! Hey!
What else did you take
out of the envelope?
What?
What else did you take?
Oh, l don't have any.
You took these things!
What else did you take out
of the envelope? Huh?
-Nothing.
-What else?
Tell me what you saw.
-What did you see?
-Don't hurt me!
-What else did you see?
-Please!
-What else?
-Please, don't hurt me!
Please, don't...
-hurt me.
-Oh, God.
l'm sorry.
What?
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
l'm sorry.
God!
You the one that
wanted to see Smiley?
Come on.
Hey, Smiley, you
going fishing tomorrow?
No. You got me
for two more weeks.
OK, a toast to Smiley.
Been a hard-nosed cop.
Yay! All right!
Smile!
Come on! Come on!
Move it!
Move!
Helen.
lt's me.
Oh, God!
Let me in.
Look, l don't
want you here.
Helen, listen to me.
Helen, open the door.
No.
Helen, you've got
the phone off the hook.
Yeah, that's right.
Helen, open the door.
-No!
-l am in trouble here.
l'm in real trouble.
No! l'm not listening
to any of this...
so just get away
from my house!
Damn you.
Drood?
Helen, l'm sorry.
What is this?
-What is this all about?
-l'm sorry.
-What the hell--
-You can't just come in anymore.
-l'm sorry, it's just...
You've got to listen to me.
You've got to.
There was this woman.
Wait, wait, hold--
another woman?
Wait a minute!
You're going to tell me
you came here tonight...
to talk to me about
another woman?
Helen, please, you've
got to listen to the--
-Helen?
-The whole stor--
The whole thing,
l swear to G--
l'm gonna throw up.
Drood, l want you to leave.
Drood.
l want to see Bean.
He just went crazy.
He just went crazy.
Did you look
through all these?
Not yet.
Uh-huh, yep.
Excuse me.
Are you Mrs. Drood?
Yes, sir.
Well, l'm sorry
to bother you...
at your work
here, but...
You're from the police.
Yes, ma'am.
l'm Detective Smiley...
Benjamin Smiley.
Here's my card.
Do you mind if l sit down?
No, not at all.
l'd just like to ask you
a couple of questions.
Excuse me.
Finewood Nursery School.
Helen, it's me.
Uh, Mrs. Hernandez...
Uh, yes.
Could you call back later?
Yes, l'm in
a meeting right now.
Helen, please don't hang up!
-Uh-huh.
-Listen...
l've got to talk to you.
Thank you very much, bye-bye.
Helen, no please--
...with the death
of Yolanda Caldwell...
is the murder
of Adrienne Schell...
who was found shot
through the head...
in the apartment of
newspaper cartoonist...
C.C. Drood
earlier this morning.
Drood, previously questioned
in the case...
is now the prime suspect
in the investigation.
Police have issued...
an all-points bulletin
for his arrest.
He is described
as a 30-year-old white male...
5 feet, 11 inches,
180 pounds...
thought to be driving
a 1960--
Scoot over.
lt's not just you and me.
There's a lot of people
involved in this--
big people--
anyone who went
to a party.
Drood has got
to go down on this...
or we all go down.
Hi, Jim.
Have you talked to
Drood today at all?
No, uh, damn!
Drood had a book.
lt was a little
red appointment book.
And he used to write down
all of his important things.
And l think he kept it in here.
Now, have you seen it?
Did you find that in here?
Oh, he was always
such a nice man.
We're not open yet, pal.
OK, Don, l want this bar
ready by 9:30.
Oh, Christ.
Come on.
What are you going to do?
You got something to drink?
l'm afraid to go in
a fuckin' liquor store!
Drood, you're making
the front page, man.
You're on television.
Helen's going crazy...
and Bean's having
trouble at school.
Are you going to listen
to me or not?
No! You're a selfish fuck!
l'm calling the police...
to tell them you
want to turn yourself--
Come on, Drood, stop, now!
l need your car.
-My car?
-Yeah.
Forget it.
-Give me the keys.
-No.
Give me the fucking keys!
''Bobby Nye.''
''Nancy Barron...
aide to Bobby Nye.''
-Gee, uh...
-Never mind. Never mind.
No, no, don't bother yourself.
George.
Would you get this gentleman
another drink?
Here, let me introduce you
to a few people.
Uh, no.
This is Councilman Hancock and
his wife Dorothy.
Supervisor Gleland,
Mr. McBragg...
and Patricia Menninger.
And this is Mr. Drood...
isn't it?
Mr. Drood is an artist.
l'm afraid l'm not familiar
with your work, Mr. Drood.
Oh, you will be, Pat.
Excuse me.
Your champagne.
May l get you
anything else, Miss Nye?
Bobby Nye?
You're Bobby Nye?
Let me show you around.
Come on.
What do you think, Mr. Drood?
l overpaid a bit for that.
But l think its value is
about to skyrocket.
That's what usually happens
when an artist dies.
You killed her.
That depends.
l prefer to think
that you killed her.
She betrayed me.
Over what?
Some...some...
some...pictures?
Some photographs?
You don't know
what love is...
do you?
What a fuckin' joke.
Let me tell you something.
She was nice to me.
She was very nice to me.
But Miss Nye told me
to hit her...
and l did.
And she fell.
She hit her fuckin' head
on a coffee table.
She broke her neck.
lsn't that something?
The whole thing's
a fuckin' accident.
Well...
Please.
Please.
l'm sorry, Mr. Drood.
No!
No.
-Hello.
-Helen.
-Drood.
-Are you alone?
No, no, not exactly.
l need your help.
Yes, yes, l know.
Do you remember
our second honeymoon?
Do...what?
Do you remember the room?
Honey, l don't
see what this has--
lt's OK.
Just listen, please.
-Do you remember the room?
-Yes.
Do you remember the room number?
Yes, of course l do, it's--
Don't say it.
Just, just do you
remember it?
-Yes.
-OK.
-Drood, are you--
-l'm OK.
Where have you been?
l've been looking everywhere
for you, Drood.
What do you want me to do?
l need your help.
-OK, l'm listening.
-l need some money...
and a change of clothes.
OK.
l--l will be there
as soon as l can.
Jim, will you watch
Bean for me, please?
You're going, then?
Helen, he's off his bloody head.
Hello.
-Detective Smiley, please.
-This is he.
Detective, this is Helen Drood.
l know where my husband is.
Helen, this is
completely insane.
Where are my keys?
-Helen!
-Jim, please let me go.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Thank you.
Thank you.
lt's Bean's.
l thought you might need a hat.
What's wrong?
l'm just imagining
myself on the run...
in this hat.
Drood, stop it.
Fugitive elf!
No, Drood!
Drood! Drood!
lt's Smiley.
What?
l called Detective Smiley.
You what?
All you have to do
is talk to him.
That's all.
Helen, Helen, are you crazy?
-No, just talk to him!
-No!
-Drood, no!
-Helen, no!
Helen, don't open the door!
-Helen!
-He's got a gun.
Mr. Drood.
Can you hear me, Mr. Drood?
l just want
to talk to you.
-Helen, get out of there.
-Look, Mr. Drood...
l'm going to show you
my hands, all right?
OK, l'm gonna come
into the room now--
No!
Drood.
Helen, get--
l'm on your side, Mr. Drood.
Drood, just listen to him, OK?
He's lying!
He's in on it.
All you have to do
is listen to him!
l really want
to help you, Mr. Drood.
l know you didn't kill anybody.
Put it down.
What the hell are you
doing here, John?
Put it down.
Now, kick it over here.
l told you to stay out of this.
lt's over, John.
Give me the gun.
Give me--
Smiley, don't!
Don't make me do this.
Give me the gun, John!
Give me the--
No!
No!
-Come on.
-What'll we do?
-Get the stuff.
-What are we gonna do?
-Come on.
-No.
-We got to get out of here.
-No! No.
Go! Go! Go!
Would you please--
l told him you
couldn't kill anybody!
l wasn't trying.
lf l was trying,
l would have missed.
Oh, God!
Drood, what are we gonna do?
Fuck!
Now l'm a cop killer.
l am dead.
l'm...
Drood.
l'm dead.
Drood, you're scaring me.
l'm a dead man, Helen!
Where's the tool box?
l've got it.
l got it.
-Go! Go! Go!
-l'm going, l'm going!
What are you doing?
Turn up here.
No, right!
Dear God, Drood!
-l'm gonna kill myself.
-What?
Drood, just say something
that makes sense, all right?
Tell them that l forced
you to drive me up here...
that l said that...
l had to meet somebody.
You picked me up
outside the hotel.
You weren't in the room, OK?
What do l tell Bean?
Tell her that l'll be there.
OK?
OK, OK.
Take care of yourself.
l love you.
Lights are on...
but nobody's home.
''...surely goodness and mercy
shall follow me...
''all the days of my life...
''and l will dwell in
the house of the Lord forever.''
-Helen...
-Drop dead.