Slash/Back (2022) Movie Script
1
Aw, crap.
Oh, hello.
Thought you could sneak away
from me, huh?
Nice try.
But you are gloves,
and you must submit to
my human hands.
Oh, God, I've really gotta get
out of here, for real.
What the hell are you?
Good morning, Pangnirtung.
It's the longest day of the year
and what a beautiful one.
We're celebrating with the
Solstice dance tonight
at the community hall.
Doors open at seven music by,
and his nephew Joe.
Can't, sorry.
Gotta go!
This is the money my mom gave me
for washing Hondas every day,
and I only get a quarter a week,
so it took me 60 weeks
to get this $15.
There is nothing in Pang
to spend $15 on.
It's almost like having nothing.
Maybe I'll get a cell phone.
You can't get a cell phone
for $15.
They cost way more than that.
And plus, where are you
going to get it?
Maybe I'll get it from
Nelson's brother.
He won't talk to you,
you're too little.
And as I told you,
$15 can't buy you anything.
You don't know about money,
but that's okay.
Still, if you can give me
that $15,
I could take care of all the
complicated stuff.
And since you added money to pay
for my phone,
I'm willing to make a deal
that says
you can maybe use it sometimes.
Then can I hang out with you?
You could hang out with me
during break periods
when we've agreed you could
use my phone.
But you can't call long
distance,
and you cannot use my data.
This is a great deal for you.
What are you doing?
Uki, you didn't just take that
little chick's money, did you?
I'm not a little chick.
I only gave her the money so I
can share cell phones together.
Give that shit back.
No!
What?
Hey!
It was a good deal!
So what are you up to later?
Guess I'll come.
Hey, you guys see that girl
in Arviat
that harpooned that
fat-ass whale?
Yeah, that was cool.
- Ugh, I hate fishing.
- She probably got lucky.
Plus, her dad probably did most
of the work.
You just called out Cameron V.
Chick is wearing John Anderson's
hoody in that pic,
and just yesterday,
she told me he was trash.
You're vicious on Insta.
Meat for sale!
Yo, is that your dad?
Ugh, let's go for a ride
on the boat.
- By ourselves?
- Yeah.
No way, not allowed.
Oh yes, we have to.
Plus, we have to!
We could drive out to
the cabins.
LeeLee, it will be super fun.
That's fun with additional fun
on top.
- Come on.
- Fine.
Yes!
I'll go home and get the keys.
And that's it for me.
Back to you and Tia.
In other Arctic news,
there has been an update in the
evolving case of a missing researcher.
A pack containing equipment
that was hand-mended,
and field guides have recently
washed up
on the shores of Pangnirtung,
are believed to belong
to the missing geologist,
Tony Konk.
Konk, an American geologist from
the University of Connecticut...
was getting snow samples
outside the isolated campus.
Konk has been missing for...
Wait!
No way.
That chick said
if I give her my 15,
we get to hang out together.
Hurry, we're gonna get in
trouble.
Someone's gonna tell parents.
We're good. Chill, chill.
Go get pop-chips-coco.
Me and that one made a deal,
so you have to take me with you,
because that's how deals work.
Shut up, you're not old enough
to make deals.
I can make deals if I want to!
Better grab this money before
the water gets it.
I'll tell mom you're taking
the boat out.
I'll tell mom I caught you
eating that stick of butter
in the middle of the night.
Your Ataata know you're taking
the boat out?
- Yep, no problem.
- Yes, sir!
Look at all those stupid birds.
Circling like place like it's
a big garbage dump.
I like watching it get smaller.
If we drove far enough,
it would just disappear.
So they're like, trying to shock
this guy to life.
And his belly turns into a mouth
with effed up monster teeth.
And the teeth chomp the other
guy's arm off.
And then the main guy lights
that on fire,
but it only makes the guy whose
belly split open's neck
grow long, until eventually...
Pop!
Off with his head.
And the only way you can tell if
it was a human or an alien
was by burning its blood.
The main guy got so crazy he
burned the whole thing
down to ashes.
That's whack.
- You want to hear a true story?
- Yeah.
You know the Kattuk boy that
went missing last spring?
Yeah.
Well, Brenda was talking to
Billy Mike,
and Billy Mike was talking to
a fisherman from Iqaluit,
and he said that he saw the boy
playing by the water.
And then, like, a fog rolls in.
And out comes a grey head,
with long black hair.
And you know what happens next?
What?
He snatches the boy and drags
him into the water.
Qalupalik.
Get out of here with that silly
Inuk shit.
Stacey hates Drew now.
By far the cruddiest boyfriend
I've ever had.
- Worst two days of my life.
- How much data do you have?
Dunno, my parents pay for it.
Are your guys's parents
going to the dance tonight?
Everyone's parents are going.
All the parents will go
and get pissy-drunk
and then come home and
we'll have to deal with them.
My Dad's scary when he's drunk.
Yeah, welcome to Crap Hole.
Population, who cares?
Pang?
What other crap hole are you
living in?
I think Pang is awesome.
Sorry you like crap so much.
Maybe it's just crap
wherever you go.
Whatever, everywhere in Pang
is ghetto.
So ghetto.
I'm gonna move to
Winnipeg and forget about
all these lame Inuk problems.
This chick gets to go to
Winnipeg every year.
I know. Lucky.
Thomassie Tiktak
just got a Honda.
It's a nice one.
How do you know?
He take you for a ride on it?
Not even! I'm just saying.
Those things are sketchy
as hell, I'd never get on one.
Bet you can't shoot that can.
I could, easy.
My Dad taught me shooting.
He can shoot seal when they're
just tiny dots way off.
- Thought so.
- Shut up!
- Let me shoot, then.
- As if.
Don't be such a wimp about it.
Look, I don't got all the
bullets in the world
for you to be blasting off
everywhere.
Yeah, little miss John McClane.
Who's that, Manitok's cousin?
Oh my God.
Hey. Hey!
It's not fair
that other people can't shoot
'cause you're a chicken.
Uh, my gun means I decide
what's fair.
It's coming closer!
You guys!
What is it?
- - I don't know!
- What is it?!
Shh! It's a bear.
Bear?! Oh God, our parents are
going to kill me!
Shh, just stay still.
Guys, what are we...
Told ya, I'm a good shot.
Oh my God, Uki!
Hah! Knew you chicks
was out here!
Aju!
Oh, shit!
Guys! Guys!
Aju, run!
Run! Maika!
Okay, come on!
Aju! Aju!
Come on...
Come on, guys! Come on!
Hurry!
Aju, run! Maika, come on!
You've got this!
Shoot it now!
Aju, run!
Shoot! Shoot it!
Hurry!
Maika, shoot!
Uki, come on!
Aju! Aju! Aju!
Oh my God, oh my God!
Aju, wake up! Wake up!
Wake up, Aju!
Oh my God.
Come on, come one.
Let's get out of here.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on.
- What was that?
That was so scary,
I thought you were dead.
Aju, are you hurt?
Wash this gunk off.
It's not coming off.
See how it moved?
It didn't move right.
And its blood was black.
And its face was messed!
Like, dead.
Maybe it was just effed up with
rabies or something.
Uh-uh, that's not what effed up
with rabies looks like.
That's not even what a bear
looks like.
My bike is still out there.
It was like,
pee-your-pants scary.
It's just a bunch of blurs!
It's a crazy bear thing.
It grabbed Aju.
- What?
- It ran away with me.
Get out of here.
Go play with the kids
down there.
Yeah, they wish.
Thomassie You kill that shit?
- I shot it first.
- Yeah.
That's why it came after us in
the first place. Doy.
Sounds cray.
Totally cray. Cray-cray.
But like, what was it?
Ijiraq.
Ijiraq tried to take me?
It was not Ijiraq. Don't even.
What was it then?
It was just an effed up bear.
What makes an Ijiraq?
Shape-shifting,
children stealing.
What did this thing do?
Pretend to be a bear
and steal Aju.
Ijiraq.
That's Inuk nonsense.
There's no Ijiraq, no Sedna,
and no Qalupalik.
Just stupid old people
stories made up
because they didn't have
internet yet.
What's an Ijiraq?
Ijiraq are things that live
in two worlds.
Two worlds?
If you go far enough north,
there's a whole other world.
If you go far enough north,
you'll start going south.
When Ijiraq comes to our world,
they can disguise themselves
as anything,
and when they do,
they snatch children
and bring them back
to their world.
Why do they take children?
'Cause it makes no sense,
it's dumb Inuk stuff.
And only dumb Inuit
fall for it now.
You think you know all that,
but it's only people
who think they know all that who
really don't know anything.
Ask your Ataata, he'll tell you.
The great hunter.
Feel free to shut up
about my dad.
Hey, since you know so much
and you're such a good little
Inuk anyway,
why don't you go out there and
hunt that thing
with all your great skills?
Then you can come back and prove
us all wrong.
Seriously, I dare you.
Go out there.
Officer -
Who's smoking what out here?!
Huh?
Tiktak.
Some big wheels you got.
Where's your helmet?
Aww, don't give me that
stoic stare.
I might lose myself
in those dreamy eyes.
Officer -
Lefebvre, leave the kids alone.
They're smoking out here.
Big Honda man here doesn't
have his helmet.
Lefebvre, just go.
That's an order.
Hey, so what are you doing
later?
I'm having a few people over,
you should come by.
Can we all come?
Yeah, sure.
- Text in a bit?
- Yeah.
- Go to Thomassie's together?
- Yeah.
Later, chica.
Don't say a peep to mom and dad
about us being out there today.
And hide that blood.
What if they ask about my bike?
They're not going to ask
about your bike.
Ruh-roh!
- Hi, Ataata.
- Hi.
Around.
So your thing is you don't want
Anaana to go out?
We were coming home, but this
real doy, Johnny Lampe,
was making trouble for
all the kids,
but Maika got him to stop,
and because he's scared of
Maika, he stopped.
Oh, wow,
isn't that great of Maika.
Why don't you tell Maika she is
supposed to be helping Anaana
before she goes off helping
everybody in Pang?
Sorry. Hey, you and you.
And me and me?
My toy.
Anaana?
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Thanks.
- Hi, Leena.
- Hi.
Why are you home so late?
Who were you with?
Jess.
I see you guys were out
on the land today.
You're grounded.
- How long?
- A month.
It's dangerous to go out on the
land without an adult.
Don't you young ladies
know that?
Dude, you have to.
Thomassie!
Hottest guy in school.
- Can't.
- Why?
Your parents aren't home.
Because she has to sit me.
You can go to Maika's with Aju.
No.
LeeLee will let you watch
Netflix in her room for a month.
Uh-uh.
You can have my phone case.
Fine.
Hey, girlfriend.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Sorry you got grounded.
- Yeah.
Your parents are always
in your business.
But I was the one that was like,
"Let's go in the boat,"
which is just so dumb.
It doesn't matter anyway.
I mean, she's out now.
Hey, we're on our way.
- - Bye, Anaana.
- Bye, sweetie.
- - Bye, Ataata.
- Love you all, be good.
Okay, wanna go out?
Yeah.
Uh, I don't think so.
You're staying.
No way. Nice try, chica.
Alashua will stay with you,
right?
No way, I'm going out
with you guys.
No, actually you're staying
or I'll tell the reason your new
stretchy pants went missing
was because you pooped yourself
on Shooyook's trampoline
and then buried them in the
field by the school.
Good.
Later, poopy.
And purple, and dark...
What the hell is that?
The guy from the dock?
Eww, what's that smell?
Like expired yogurt.
Shut up.
I like it. Who's it for?
- No one.
- Really?
Really! Crap, what the hell.
Sometimes I wear perfume when
I'm like, hanging at home alone.
It makes me feel fresh.
She's fresh for sure.
Give it up.
Shall we call on this chick?
I'm not going in.
Aye-aye, her scares me.
I'll get her.
Hey, Granny.
Sanaugaq, tell Anaana
to come over
and give Granny some company.
She's going to the dance
tonight.
Granny used to dance so good!
What about you?
You babysit for Granny?
Where's Uki?
Ah, Jesus.
That girl disappeared on me.
Now Granny can't go out anymore.
Uki disappeared? Nami?
Here, and then not here.
She's supposed to babysit
for Granny.
A space ship?
What the...
What do you need his blood for?
- Where is she?
- I don't know.
Should we go after her?
She could be anywhere,
doing any stupid thing.
Dude, you were like, "I dare
you" in front of everyone.
Not our problem,
we didn't make her.
I know, but she's crazy.
She can get into trouble
out there.
Nothing against Uki but no way
I'm going back out there.
Exactly, she's always dragging
us into her Inuk shit.
So, wanna go to Thomassie's?
Thomassie Tiktak, Tiktak, Tiktak
Thomassie Tiktak, Tiktak, Tiktak
TNHe's only TNbecause he's the bomb.
Oh.
Tiktak with the fat stack
Better than a Big Mac
- Tiktak, patty-whack
- Give a girl a bone
You guys are gross.
This place is like a ghost town.
Because of a square dance.
For real, lame.
It's kinda spooky though.
Should we just go in?
Yeah. Why not?
Okay.
Guys, this is so cool.
Who's that girl sitting
beside Kendall?
I think it's Wesley Oonark's
sister.
What's up?
- What's up?
- I just asked you.
Oh. Nothing.
- I brought Jess.
- Yeah, hey,
Nothing. I mean... nothing.
Do you guys actually use those?
Yeah, sometimes, when we're,
like, having country food.
Ugh. Country food.
What? How can you not like
country food?
Okay. What do you like?
- KFC.
- Ooh, expensive.
I hate how every home has
stupid Inuit art,
even though it all looks
the same.
And it's like, how many silly
fish pictures can we make?
And the only reason people keep
making these dumb pictures
is so they can sell them to rich
Qallunaat who feel sorry for us.
And they're all, like, painted
by eight-year-olds.
My mom made that picture.
Oh.
I always see your dad in the
parking lot, selling meat.
My mom says he's a great hunter.
Like the greatest, by far.
Did he ever teach you
any of the stuff?
Like hunting or trapping?
Do you think he would like...
like, ever take me out sometime?
Hey!
Hey!
Excuse me, hello!
Excuse me, private.
Uki, what the hell?
Maika, I need your rifle.
I know you don't believe
I'm a good shot,
but just trust me on this one,
there's something really,
really bad outside
and we may be in real
big trouble.
Uki, seriously, what the hell?
Not Ijiraq, no.
But aliens? Oh yes.
Aliens for sure. Probably.
Yeah.
What the shit?!
Gah! Get back!
Get back!
You should throw yourself
a little party,
because good for you, not
Ijiraq, not stupid Inuk stuff...
- Uki, shut up!
- You shut up!
I'm not even joking right now!
I've seen shit
like no one's ever seen!
They killed other animals!
Hundreds! Well, maybe not
hundreds,
but how am I supposed to count?
They're like hunter aliens.
- Sorry.
- It's cool. You said aliens?
But pretending not to be aliens,
pretending to be animals.
- Where?
- Out on the land!
Aren't you listening?
There's two more,
and maybe they'll get tired
of country food
and want a bite of your bald
little weeny.
Or this one's stupid
tucked-in shirt!
Leave, Uki.
Get out of here.
Nobody cares about
the weak stories that you tell
so that people can
pay attention to you.
'Cause you've got no dad,
and your mom's always out
with some new guy,
and your granny is drunk 24/7.
And that's not even our fault,
not even a tiny bit,
so why don't you just leave
everybody alone
with your baby stories.
Maika.
Cops!
Hey, Uki, come out!
Where is it?
I think it ran away.
Holy crippity-crap!
Oh my God, that was too much!
- You guys okay?
- What was it, Uki?!
Oh, is someone talking to me?
You said aliens pretending not
to be aliens?
Yeah, like an Inuk pretending
not to be an Inuk.
Man, that thing was onto you.
Yeah, why just her?
It might be kinda pissy because
I killed the little one.
How'd they know?
You murder it right in front
of them?
It's the blood!
Hear it sniffing?
They can smell their own blood!
Uh, you got blood too.
You said there was two, right?
Oh my God,
where's the other one?
How should I know?
You should just wash
the blood off.
It stains!
That's what happened to...
- Aju!
- What?
Aju's got blood!
I need to borrow your Honda.
Forget it.
Qanuippit?
Run, go! Run!
Meet me at Qimmiq's crate!
- Maika!
- Maika, come on!
What is that?
It's so scary!
What's going on?
What is that?
Maika...
They're waiting.
Chill, chill, chill.
It's okay, they can't
hurt us here.
What happened to Willie Isaac?
His face is all rubbery!
- Who are you calling?
- Ataata and Anaana!
No, they'll kill me!
They never answer
when they're out dancing.
My parents
are way drunk by now.
Same. No answer.
The cops! The cops!
Call Peters!
- Got it.
- But don't say aliens.
Say we're in Qimmiq's crate and
there's a whole bunch
of drunk men outside
trying to get in.
Pang police department.
Hey, hey, I need to speak
to Peters.
And what is this
in regards to?
This is in regards to...
This is Jesse Pudluk and a bunch
of us kids are trapped
in Qimmiq's crate because a
bunch of drunk men are outside,
saying they're going to chop us
up and do other kinds
of bad things, so this is a
total emergency!
Emergency, emergency, emergency!
What are we supposed to do now?
Hey, remember when we used to
always build forts in here?
LeeLee, remember? Forts?
Come on, guys.
This will be the best.
I don't want to build
a baby fort.
- I want to fight Ijiraq.
- It's not Ijiraq.
- Go with Jess.
- Don't tell me what to do,
or I'll tell every I caught you
staring at that picture
- of that boy...
- Get!
This is not
a little bitch fort.
This is an F-yes fort,
where we trade secrets
and tell stories that can only
be told in the fort.
Basically this is the best,
and you should consider yourself
lucky to be invited.
What's weird was that one,
the one chasing me,
just all a sudden stopped,
and then started doing that
weird walk again.
All these stupid alien monsters
are in town
because I went out there
and I killed the baby one.
I always ruin everything.
No, I'm the one who dared you
to go out there.
I know dares
are unresistable to you.
Yeah, you're right.
This is all your fault.
Too bad you're a butthole and
the exact opposite of a friend.
Hey, you know what I'm
thinking of?
- What?
- What?
Mahaha.
What? Your Anaanatsiaq
never tell you?
Nope.
Well, he's a creepy little guy
with long skinny fingers,
and he runs around the North.
And you know what he does?
Little kids:
What?
He... tickles people
until they die
with a tickle smile
on their face.
Hey, stop it!
Aju, what grade are you
going into next year?
Five.
- - So is Ala.
- - Yep.
We might have the same homeroom
next year.
Oh my God.
Uh, I'll go check.
Hey, who are, like, the hot guys
in your grade?
- Eww!
- - Eww!
I think Peters is out there.
Her cop truck is out there,
but I can't see her.
Stay in there, don't come out!
Stay!
What's happening to her?
What's going on?
Peters was awesome.
And we called her out here.
And basically we're trapped.
I have to take care of this.
You?
Well, yeah. I'm responsible.
Okay, cool. See you.
Whatever, Uki.
You're just as responsible as
anybody else in this.
Okay, I'll participate
in saving Pang,
because, A, I'm not scared,
and plus, B, I love Pang.
And if you ask around,
everyone in Pang loves me.
No, guys, this really
is my fault.
Who cares?
Let's just do something.
But so everybody knows,
none of this is my fault.
I would only go because we have
to get what got Peters.
Okay, so first, what do we know
about these...
Skins, I've been calling
them Skins.
Cool.
So we know they can, like,
smell their own blood,
and noodles come out of
their hands,
and claws come out of
the noodles.
Which are super sharp,
and they suck up blood
to use as fuel for their
liver ship.
Maybe they also need blood
for their own power?
They might want our blood too.
So they're just horny for blood?
How'd you kill the little one?
Oh, I cut open it's throat
with an ulu.
Nasty.
I love it.
They do that weird walk until
they get close.
That's why they wear skins!
To try and get close.
Dummies, think they're tricky.
And then they run really fast
and really strong.
But I think they get tired.
Like, maybe if they don't have
enough blood,
they can only be fast and strong
for short bits.
They must be strong by now,
they probably just sucked up all
of Peter's blood.
Girl, you know a lot.
My Dad always told me
you have to observe
what you're going to hunt
to understand how to hunt it.
We're gonna hunt them?
They came here to hunt us,
but what they don't know
is that we're the best
hunters there is.
We're going out for a bit.
Aju, stay here, okay?
You're going out there?
Yeah, come on,
we've gotta take care of this.
I can't.
LeeLee, you have to be brave.
No, I don't.
I'm scared. Why?
'Cause this is frickin' scary.
LeeLee, the Skins are
trying to get us
right in the B's and the V's,
and we can't just let them.
I'm not like you guys.
I wish I was, but I'm not.
You guys do so many
awesome things.
It's okay, LeeLee.
Keep the little ones safe.
You gotta do one thing and lock
the door behind us, though.
You got this.
So how are we gonna do this?
Uh, first we need something
like...
Here.
Give me your jacket,
they'll smell the blood.
Okay.
First...
What?
Do you carry that around, like,
just in case?
Shut up already!
Ah, Jesusie, puke in my mouth.
- It's a disguise.
- Ugh, God.
Ugh. Okay.
Hold this by the door.
Now! Go, go, go, go!
Come on!
Hurry! Hurry!
Oh, wait. No.
That's my Ataata's.
Let's go hunting.
Wait.
We have to.
Come on. Nobody fucks with
the girls from Pang.
Peters.
How sucky if you're like,
an alien,
and you're so hot for blood,
you've gotta go everywhere
to vacuum it up.
Like, obviously, we're going
to make a real mess.
There's blood there,
and blood here!
And oh my,
look at all the blood there!
That's because Uki was just
there murdering your BF.
- Shh!
- I'm just saying.
- - The perfume.
- What?
If the perfume wasn't
for Tiktak, who was it for?
- Oh my God.
- Dude, really?
All you did was flirt with him.
I thought friends have each
other's back.
It's an established fact that
I liked him first.
He was talking to me!
I tried to get you
to talk to him,
but you were all like, quiet,
and like, looking at the ground.
Whatever! You were all like,
"Blah, blah, I like KFC,"
"your mother's artwork sucks."
I was just talking back, holy.
I don't even like him.
He's got that lip fur which is
just gross.
His moustache is cute.
Fine! Like, what am I supposed
to say?
- Say you don't like him!
- I just did!
That's true, she just did.
- All right?
- Fine.
Fine.
Can we go back to hunting a
blood-sucking alien?
It's just a dog.
But the blood.
- Help me!
- Jesse!
Get him off!
Go!
Gross!
Oh my God, are you okay?
Yeah, it was more just freaky.
That's two for Uki, which makes
the meanest alien killer
in the North, by far.
I guess we can't choose
who we are.
Stay alert.
The other one could come
at any second,
and it's got no injuries.
This trap we're going to set
is really chancy
because it requires bait,
which I'm going to be.
So that makes both you chicks
responsible for me not dying.
As if!
Don't act so goody-goody,
saying you're bait.
What if I want to be bait?
You guys sound like you want to
be on "To Catch A Predator."
It's dangerous, okay?
They're always using bait on
those old pervos.
- That show's the best.
- So what?
- No one's daring you.
- No doy. I'm volunteering.
That's because I'm an especially
cool person,
which, sorry,
like being a mean alien killer,
is a thing you have to be
born as.
Uki, I'm sorry.
I know I've been a crap friend.
True, I'm still bait.
Fine.
I'm not stopping you.
I'm just saying.
I am sorry.
But you're fully annoying.
You know that, right?
Well, well, look at this
little bitch.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Was that your Honda
making that bang?
Yeah, thing's brand new and it
already has a backfire.
Boo-hoo!
I just wanted... I just got a
little freaked out before.
- I'm sorry.
- Well, if you're so sorry...
Uki!
If you're so sorry,
let us use your Honda.
Yeah, whatever you need.
All right, trap just got better.
Uh, Jesse, you're gonna go
with Thomassie.
And Uki, I've got something
planned for you.
Anything?
No.
- So...
- Do you think Maika likes me?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think she does.
Ugh, what's taking so long?
Do you think this one chickened
out because
we murdered the other two
so hard?
Patience, Uki.
Hunting is patience.
I'm gonna take this thing out.
Eww...
You know, Lefebvre was a douche,
but he didn't deserve to get his
skin torn off
and sewn by an alien.
Maybe just a butt probe.
I'm gonna look under the skin.
Should I? I can't help it!
I'm gonna look. I'm gonna look.
Eww...
Oh my God, you guys won't
believe what's under here.
It's so rude, and like, slimy!
It's got an ugly mouth.
Like, a really ugly mouth.
This totally reeks, like...
You remember that raven, Maika?
The one that had diarrhea and
kept on doing it
on your front steps every day?
It's like that.
Raven diarrhea.
Uki, shut up!
Turn around!
Turn around!
It's coming.
Hey, come get me.
Go, go, go!
You must be pretty pissy
about this.
And remember,
I killed the other too,
so you should be double pissy.
Are you gonna get me?
You want some tasty human flesh?
Now!
Aw, crap.
Oh my God.
Uki, come on!
Maika!
Uki!
It's behind you, come on!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Uki, come on! Uki!
I'm stuck!
Uki, come on!
Don't let go!
Uki, come on!
- It's got me!
- Oh my God!
Here, let me help!
Okay, don't let go.
Don't let go!
Hold tight, okay?
Hold tight!
Uki, don't let go!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
What are you doing?!
Put pressure on it!
I got it.
I just need you to get up,
please, Uki?
Is she breathing?
- I don't know!
- What do you mean?
I...
- I can't hear anything.
- What do you mean?
- Uki, you asshole!
- Come on!
Wake up! Uki!
Oh my God. Oh my god.
Are you okay?
I think I saw Jesusie.
He looked like that old drunk
who always pulls it out
in front of girls.
What? It's okay.
You're gonna be okay.
Don't let it get away.
I'm not leaving you.
If you don't go kill it,
I'm gonna hate you for life.
Uki.
'Cause then I got all my blood
sucked for nothing.
And then Pang is going to have
to wait for me
to recover to save it.
I'll see you soon.
Maika!
I'm coming with.
Friends got each other's back.
He likes you.
Not true.
True.
And you like him.
- So not true.
- True. You should.
I'd be a garbage friend
if I said not to.
Look.
What the...
What'd they do to your house?
It's in there.
Ataata?
Ataata!
Ataata!
Fight it, you have to!
Maika, are you okay?
I'm stuck! I'm stuck!
Jess, I'm stuck!
Okay, I'm coming.
Ataata, fight it!
It will get weaker!
You have to!
I fought like you taught me.
Its throat, Ataata!
You have to cut its throat!
Told you.
No one fucks with the girls
from Pang.
How come you never talked to me
at school before?
I always thought you were
too crazy.
Why didn't you ever talk to me?
I always thought you were
too cool.
Will you talk to me
when starts this year?
This is the best time I had
all summer.
Me too.
I'll check.
- Oh my God!
- - What?!
Ataata!
Is everyone okay?
Uki! Are you okay?
Aliens were hot for my blood,
but Maika didn't let them
take it all.
What is that?
I think it's the meat ship.
My bike is still out there.
- We did it!
- We scared 'em off!
No. I want to keep going.
Quit it with the flyers.
We're not exactly dying for
customers.
We're a hit because of you.
No, we're a hit because we sell
totally mamaqtuq country food.
Seriously?
I thought they had enough of
this forever ago.
Excuse me, folks.
Excuse me.
Are you the young lady that
fought the aliens.
I'm just a hunter.
Hey, hey! News chick!
I killed tons of aliens.
I found the aliens,
and I knew they were aliens
before anyone else knew
they were aliens.
I got clawed by one after it
chased me under a house.
So I'm pretty much the hero
of this town.
Point your cameras over here.
Come on, let's get this.
I'll tell you everything,
which will make you pee your
pants, and you'll love it.
So this one's for sure gonna
make you lots of money,
so that's why you're gonna
have to pay me in advance
if you want all access,
or I'll accept either of
you guy's phones.
What kinda phones you got?
Aw, crap.
Oh, hello.
Thought you could sneak away
from me, huh?
Nice try.
But you are gloves,
and you must submit to
my human hands.
Oh, God, I've really gotta get
out of here, for real.
What the hell are you?
Good morning, Pangnirtung.
It's the longest day of the year
and what a beautiful one.
We're celebrating with the
Solstice dance tonight
at the community hall.
Doors open at seven music by,
and his nephew Joe.
Can't, sorry.
Gotta go!
This is the money my mom gave me
for washing Hondas every day,
and I only get a quarter a week,
so it took me 60 weeks
to get this $15.
There is nothing in Pang
to spend $15 on.
It's almost like having nothing.
Maybe I'll get a cell phone.
You can't get a cell phone
for $15.
They cost way more than that.
And plus, where are you
going to get it?
Maybe I'll get it from
Nelson's brother.
He won't talk to you,
you're too little.
And as I told you,
$15 can't buy you anything.
You don't know about money,
but that's okay.
Still, if you can give me
that $15,
I could take care of all the
complicated stuff.
And since you added money to pay
for my phone,
I'm willing to make a deal
that says
you can maybe use it sometimes.
Then can I hang out with you?
You could hang out with me
during break periods
when we've agreed you could
use my phone.
But you can't call long
distance,
and you cannot use my data.
This is a great deal for you.
What are you doing?
Uki, you didn't just take that
little chick's money, did you?
I'm not a little chick.
I only gave her the money so I
can share cell phones together.
Give that shit back.
No!
What?
Hey!
It was a good deal!
So what are you up to later?
Guess I'll come.
Hey, you guys see that girl
in Arviat
that harpooned that
fat-ass whale?
Yeah, that was cool.
- Ugh, I hate fishing.
- She probably got lucky.
Plus, her dad probably did most
of the work.
You just called out Cameron V.
Chick is wearing John Anderson's
hoody in that pic,
and just yesterday,
she told me he was trash.
You're vicious on Insta.
Meat for sale!
Yo, is that your dad?
Ugh, let's go for a ride
on the boat.
- By ourselves?
- Yeah.
No way, not allowed.
Oh yes, we have to.
Plus, we have to!
We could drive out to
the cabins.
LeeLee, it will be super fun.
That's fun with additional fun
on top.
- Come on.
- Fine.
Yes!
I'll go home and get the keys.
And that's it for me.
Back to you and Tia.
In other Arctic news,
there has been an update in the
evolving case of a missing researcher.
A pack containing equipment
that was hand-mended,
and field guides have recently
washed up
on the shores of Pangnirtung,
are believed to belong
to the missing geologist,
Tony Konk.
Konk, an American geologist from
the University of Connecticut...
was getting snow samples
outside the isolated campus.
Konk has been missing for...
Wait!
No way.
That chick said
if I give her my 15,
we get to hang out together.
Hurry, we're gonna get in
trouble.
Someone's gonna tell parents.
We're good. Chill, chill.
Go get pop-chips-coco.
Me and that one made a deal,
so you have to take me with you,
because that's how deals work.
Shut up, you're not old enough
to make deals.
I can make deals if I want to!
Better grab this money before
the water gets it.
I'll tell mom you're taking
the boat out.
I'll tell mom I caught you
eating that stick of butter
in the middle of the night.
Your Ataata know you're taking
the boat out?
- Yep, no problem.
- Yes, sir!
Look at all those stupid birds.
Circling like place like it's
a big garbage dump.
I like watching it get smaller.
If we drove far enough,
it would just disappear.
So they're like, trying to shock
this guy to life.
And his belly turns into a mouth
with effed up monster teeth.
And the teeth chomp the other
guy's arm off.
And then the main guy lights
that on fire,
but it only makes the guy whose
belly split open's neck
grow long, until eventually...
Pop!
Off with his head.
And the only way you can tell if
it was a human or an alien
was by burning its blood.
The main guy got so crazy he
burned the whole thing
down to ashes.
That's whack.
- You want to hear a true story?
- Yeah.
You know the Kattuk boy that
went missing last spring?
Yeah.
Well, Brenda was talking to
Billy Mike,
and Billy Mike was talking to
a fisherman from Iqaluit,
and he said that he saw the boy
playing by the water.
And then, like, a fog rolls in.
And out comes a grey head,
with long black hair.
And you know what happens next?
What?
He snatches the boy and drags
him into the water.
Qalupalik.
Get out of here with that silly
Inuk shit.
Stacey hates Drew now.
By far the cruddiest boyfriend
I've ever had.
- Worst two days of my life.
- How much data do you have?
Dunno, my parents pay for it.
Are your guys's parents
going to the dance tonight?
Everyone's parents are going.
All the parents will go
and get pissy-drunk
and then come home and
we'll have to deal with them.
My Dad's scary when he's drunk.
Yeah, welcome to Crap Hole.
Population, who cares?
Pang?
What other crap hole are you
living in?
I think Pang is awesome.
Sorry you like crap so much.
Maybe it's just crap
wherever you go.
Whatever, everywhere in Pang
is ghetto.
So ghetto.
I'm gonna move to
Winnipeg and forget about
all these lame Inuk problems.
This chick gets to go to
Winnipeg every year.
I know. Lucky.
Thomassie Tiktak
just got a Honda.
It's a nice one.
How do you know?
He take you for a ride on it?
Not even! I'm just saying.
Those things are sketchy
as hell, I'd never get on one.
Bet you can't shoot that can.
I could, easy.
My Dad taught me shooting.
He can shoot seal when they're
just tiny dots way off.
- Thought so.
- Shut up!
- Let me shoot, then.
- As if.
Don't be such a wimp about it.
Look, I don't got all the
bullets in the world
for you to be blasting off
everywhere.
Yeah, little miss John McClane.
Who's that, Manitok's cousin?
Oh my God.
Hey. Hey!
It's not fair
that other people can't shoot
'cause you're a chicken.
Uh, my gun means I decide
what's fair.
It's coming closer!
You guys!
What is it?
- - I don't know!
- What is it?!
Shh! It's a bear.
Bear?! Oh God, our parents are
going to kill me!
Shh, just stay still.
Guys, what are we...
Told ya, I'm a good shot.
Oh my God, Uki!
Hah! Knew you chicks
was out here!
Aju!
Oh, shit!
Guys! Guys!
Aju, run!
Run! Maika!
Okay, come on!
Aju! Aju!
Come on...
Come on, guys! Come on!
Hurry!
Aju, run! Maika, come on!
You've got this!
Shoot it now!
Aju, run!
Shoot! Shoot it!
Hurry!
Maika, shoot!
Uki, come on!
Aju! Aju! Aju!
Oh my God, oh my God!
Aju, wake up! Wake up!
Wake up, Aju!
Oh my God.
Come on, come one.
Let's get out of here.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on.
- What was that?
That was so scary,
I thought you were dead.
Aju, are you hurt?
Wash this gunk off.
It's not coming off.
See how it moved?
It didn't move right.
And its blood was black.
And its face was messed!
Like, dead.
Maybe it was just effed up with
rabies or something.
Uh-uh, that's not what effed up
with rabies looks like.
That's not even what a bear
looks like.
My bike is still out there.
It was like,
pee-your-pants scary.
It's just a bunch of blurs!
It's a crazy bear thing.
It grabbed Aju.
- What?
- It ran away with me.
Get out of here.
Go play with the kids
down there.
Yeah, they wish.
Thomassie You kill that shit?
- I shot it first.
- Yeah.
That's why it came after us in
the first place. Doy.
Sounds cray.
Totally cray. Cray-cray.
But like, what was it?
Ijiraq.
Ijiraq tried to take me?
It was not Ijiraq. Don't even.
What was it then?
It was just an effed up bear.
What makes an Ijiraq?
Shape-shifting,
children stealing.
What did this thing do?
Pretend to be a bear
and steal Aju.
Ijiraq.
That's Inuk nonsense.
There's no Ijiraq, no Sedna,
and no Qalupalik.
Just stupid old people
stories made up
because they didn't have
internet yet.
What's an Ijiraq?
Ijiraq are things that live
in two worlds.
Two worlds?
If you go far enough north,
there's a whole other world.
If you go far enough north,
you'll start going south.
When Ijiraq comes to our world,
they can disguise themselves
as anything,
and when they do,
they snatch children
and bring them back
to their world.
Why do they take children?
'Cause it makes no sense,
it's dumb Inuk stuff.
And only dumb Inuit
fall for it now.
You think you know all that,
but it's only people
who think they know all that who
really don't know anything.
Ask your Ataata, he'll tell you.
The great hunter.
Feel free to shut up
about my dad.
Hey, since you know so much
and you're such a good little
Inuk anyway,
why don't you go out there and
hunt that thing
with all your great skills?
Then you can come back and prove
us all wrong.
Seriously, I dare you.
Go out there.
Officer -
Who's smoking what out here?!
Huh?
Tiktak.
Some big wheels you got.
Where's your helmet?
Aww, don't give me that
stoic stare.
I might lose myself
in those dreamy eyes.
Officer -
Lefebvre, leave the kids alone.
They're smoking out here.
Big Honda man here doesn't
have his helmet.
Lefebvre, just go.
That's an order.
Hey, so what are you doing
later?
I'm having a few people over,
you should come by.
Can we all come?
Yeah, sure.
- Text in a bit?
- Yeah.
- Go to Thomassie's together?
- Yeah.
Later, chica.
Don't say a peep to mom and dad
about us being out there today.
And hide that blood.
What if they ask about my bike?
They're not going to ask
about your bike.
Ruh-roh!
- Hi, Ataata.
- Hi.
Around.
So your thing is you don't want
Anaana to go out?
We were coming home, but this
real doy, Johnny Lampe,
was making trouble for
all the kids,
but Maika got him to stop,
and because he's scared of
Maika, he stopped.
Oh, wow,
isn't that great of Maika.
Why don't you tell Maika she is
supposed to be helping Anaana
before she goes off helping
everybody in Pang?
Sorry. Hey, you and you.
And me and me?
My toy.
Anaana?
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Thanks.
- Hi, Leena.
- Hi.
Why are you home so late?
Who were you with?
Jess.
I see you guys were out
on the land today.
You're grounded.
- How long?
- A month.
It's dangerous to go out on the
land without an adult.
Don't you young ladies
know that?
Dude, you have to.
Thomassie!
Hottest guy in school.
- Can't.
- Why?
Your parents aren't home.
Because she has to sit me.
You can go to Maika's with Aju.
No.
LeeLee will let you watch
Netflix in her room for a month.
Uh-uh.
You can have my phone case.
Fine.
Hey, girlfriend.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Sorry you got grounded.
- Yeah.
Your parents are always
in your business.
But I was the one that was like,
"Let's go in the boat,"
which is just so dumb.
It doesn't matter anyway.
I mean, she's out now.
Hey, we're on our way.
- - Bye, Anaana.
- Bye, sweetie.
- - Bye, Ataata.
- Love you all, be good.
Okay, wanna go out?
Yeah.
Uh, I don't think so.
You're staying.
No way. Nice try, chica.
Alashua will stay with you,
right?
No way, I'm going out
with you guys.
No, actually you're staying
or I'll tell the reason your new
stretchy pants went missing
was because you pooped yourself
on Shooyook's trampoline
and then buried them in the
field by the school.
Good.
Later, poopy.
And purple, and dark...
What the hell is that?
The guy from the dock?
Eww, what's that smell?
Like expired yogurt.
Shut up.
I like it. Who's it for?
- No one.
- Really?
Really! Crap, what the hell.
Sometimes I wear perfume when
I'm like, hanging at home alone.
It makes me feel fresh.
She's fresh for sure.
Give it up.
Shall we call on this chick?
I'm not going in.
Aye-aye, her scares me.
I'll get her.
Hey, Granny.
Sanaugaq, tell Anaana
to come over
and give Granny some company.
She's going to the dance
tonight.
Granny used to dance so good!
What about you?
You babysit for Granny?
Where's Uki?
Ah, Jesus.
That girl disappeared on me.
Now Granny can't go out anymore.
Uki disappeared? Nami?
Here, and then not here.
She's supposed to babysit
for Granny.
A space ship?
What the...
What do you need his blood for?
- Where is she?
- I don't know.
Should we go after her?
She could be anywhere,
doing any stupid thing.
Dude, you were like, "I dare
you" in front of everyone.
Not our problem,
we didn't make her.
I know, but she's crazy.
She can get into trouble
out there.
Nothing against Uki but no way
I'm going back out there.
Exactly, she's always dragging
us into her Inuk shit.
So, wanna go to Thomassie's?
Thomassie Tiktak, Tiktak, Tiktak
Thomassie Tiktak, Tiktak, Tiktak
TNHe's only TNbecause he's the bomb.
Oh.
Tiktak with the fat stack
Better than a Big Mac
- Tiktak, patty-whack
- Give a girl a bone
You guys are gross.
This place is like a ghost town.
Because of a square dance.
For real, lame.
It's kinda spooky though.
Should we just go in?
Yeah. Why not?
Okay.
Guys, this is so cool.
Who's that girl sitting
beside Kendall?
I think it's Wesley Oonark's
sister.
What's up?
- What's up?
- I just asked you.
Oh. Nothing.
- I brought Jess.
- Yeah, hey,
Nothing. I mean... nothing.
Do you guys actually use those?
Yeah, sometimes, when we're,
like, having country food.
Ugh. Country food.
What? How can you not like
country food?
Okay. What do you like?
- KFC.
- Ooh, expensive.
I hate how every home has
stupid Inuit art,
even though it all looks
the same.
And it's like, how many silly
fish pictures can we make?
And the only reason people keep
making these dumb pictures
is so they can sell them to rich
Qallunaat who feel sorry for us.
And they're all, like, painted
by eight-year-olds.
My mom made that picture.
Oh.
I always see your dad in the
parking lot, selling meat.
My mom says he's a great hunter.
Like the greatest, by far.
Did he ever teach you
any of the stuff?
Like hunting or trapping?
Do you think he would like...
like, ever take me out sometime?
Hey!
Hey!
Excuse me, hello!
Excuse me, private.
Uki, what the hell?
Maika, I need your rifle.
I know you don't believe
I'm a good shot,
but just trust me on this one,
there's something really,
really bad outside
and we may be in real
big trouble.
Uki, seriously, what the hell?
Not Ijiraq, no.
But aliens? Oh yes.
Aliens for sure. Probably.
Yeah.
What the shit?!
Gah! Get back!
Get back!
You should throw yourself
a little party,
because good for you, not
Ijiraq, not stupid Inuk stuff...
- Uki, shut up!
- You shut up!
I'm not even joking right now!
I've seen shit
like no one's ever seen!
They killed other animals!
Hundreds! Well, maybe not
hundreds,
but how am I supposed to count?
They're like hunter aliens.
- Sorry.
- It's cool. You said aliens?
But pretending not to be aliens,
pretending to be animals.
- Where?
- Out on the land!
Aren't you listening?
There's two more,
and maybe they'll get tired
of country food
and want a bite of your bald
little weeny.
Or this one's stupid
tucked-in shirt!
Leave, Uki.
Get out of here.
Nobody cares about
the weak stories that you tell
so that people can
pay attention to you.
'Cause you've got no dad,
and your mom's always out
with some new guy,
and your granny is drunk 24/7.
And that's not even our fault,
not even a tiny bit,
so why don't you just leave
everybody alone
with your baby stories.
Maika.
Cops!
Hey, Uki, come out!
Where is it?
I think it ran away.
Holy crippity-crap!
Oh my God, that was too much!
- You guys okay?
- What was it, Uki?!
Oh, is someone talking to me?
You said aliens pretending not
to be aliens?
Yeah, like an Inuk pretending
not to be an Inuk.
Man, that thing was onto you.
Yeah, why just her?
It might be kinda pissy because
I killed the little one.
How'd they know?
You murder it right in front
of them?
It's the blood!
Hear it sniffing?
They can smell their own blood!
Uh, you got blood too.
You said there was two, right?
Oh my God,
where's the other one?
How should I know?
You should just wash
the blood off.
It stains!
That's what happened to...
- Aju!
- What?
Aju's got blood!
I need to borrow your Honda.
Forget it.
Qanuippit?
Run, go! Run!
Meet me at Qimmiq's crate!
- Maika!
- Maika, come on!
What is that?
It's so scary!
What's going on?
What is that?
Maika...
They're waiting.
Chill, chill, chill.
It's okay, they can't
hurt us here.
What happened to Willie Isaac?
His face is all rubbery!
- Who are you calling?
- Ataata and Anaana!
No, they'll kill me!
They never answer
when they're out dancing.
My parents
are way drunk by now.
Same. No answer.
The cops! The cops!
Call Peters!
- Got it.
- But don't say aliens.
Say we're in Qimmiq's crate and
there's a whole bunch
of drunk men outside
trying to get in.
Pang police department.
Hey, hey, I need to speak
to Peters.
And what is this
in regards to?
This is in regards to...
This is Jesse Pudluk and a bunch
of us kids are trapped
in Qimmiq's crate because a
bunch of drunk men are outside,
saying they're going to chop us
up and do other kinds
of bad things, so this is a
total emergency!
Emergency, emergency, emergency!
What are we supposed to do now?
Hey, remember when we used to
always build forts in here?
LeeLee, remember? Forts?
Come on, guys.
This will be the best.
I don't want to build
a baby fort.
- I want to fight Ijiraq.
- It's not Ijiraq.
- Go with Jess.
- Don't tell me what to do,
or I'll tell every I caught you
staring at that picture
- of that boy...
- Get!
This is not
a little bitch fort.
This is an F-yes fort,
where we trade secrets
and tell stories that can only
be told in the fort.
Basically this is the best,
and you should consider yourself
lucky to be invited.
What's weird was that one,
the one chasing me,
just all a sudden stopped,
and then started doing that
weird walk again.
All these stupid alien monsters
are in town
because I went out there
and I killed the baby one.
I always ruin everything.
No, I'm the one who dared you
to go out there.
I know dares
are unresistable to you.
Yeah, you're right.
This is all your fault.
Too bad you're a butthole and
the exact opposite of a friend.
Hey, you know what I'm
thinking of?
- What?
- What?
Mahaha.
What? Your Anaanatsiaq
never tell you?
Nope.
Well, he's a creepy little guy
with long skinny fingers,
and he runs around the North.
And you know what he does?
Little kids:
What?
He... tickles people
until they die
with a tickle smile
on their face.
Hey, stop it!
Aju, what grade are you
going into next year?
Five.
- - So is Ala.
- - Yep.
We might have the same homeroom
next year.
Oh my God.
Uh, I'll go check.
Hey, who are, like, the hot guys
in your grade?
- Eww!
- - Eww!
I think Peters is out there.
Her cop truck is out there,
but I can't see her.
Stay in there, don't come out!
Stay!
What's happening to her?
What's going on?
Peters was awesome.
And we called her out here.
And basically we're trapped.
I have to take care of this.
You?
Well, yeah. I'm responsible.
Okay, cool. See you.
Whatever, Uki.
You're just as responsible as
anybody else in this.
Okay, I'll participate
in saving Pang,
because, A, I'm not scared,
and plus, B, I love Pang.
And if you ask around,
everyone in Pang loves me.
No, guys, this really
is my fault.
Who cares?
Let's just do something.
But so everybody knows,
none of this is my fault.
I would only go because we have
to get what got Peters.
Okay, so first, what do we know
about these...
Skins, I've been calling
them Skins.
Cool.
So we know they can, like,
smell their own blood,
and noodles come out of
their hands,
and claws come out of
the noodles.
Which are super sharp,
and they suck up blood
to use as fuel for their
liver ship.
Maybe they also need blood
for their own power?
They might want our blood too.
So they're just horny for blood?
How'd you kill the little one?
Oh, I cut open it's throat
with an ulu.
Nasty.
I love it.
They do that weird walk until
they get close.
That's why they wear skins!
To try and get close.
Dummies, think they're tricky.
And then they run really fast
and really strong.
But I think they get tired.
Like, maybe if they don't have
enough blood,
they can only be fast and strong
for short bits.
They must be strong by now,
they probably just sucked up all
of Peter's blood.
Girl, you know a lot.
My Dad always told me
you have to observe
what you're going to hunt
to understand how to hunt it.
We're gonna hunt them?
They came here to hunt us,
but what they don't know
is that we're the best
hunters there is.
We're going out for a bit.
Aju, stay here, okay?
You're going out there?
Yeah, come on,
we've gotta take care of this.
I can't.
LeeLee, you have to be brave.
No, I don't.
I'm scared. Why?
'Cause this is frickin' scary.
LeeLee, the Skins are
trying to get us
right in the B's and the V's,
and we can't just let them.
I'm not like you guys.
I wish I was, but I'm not.
You guys do so many
awesome things.
It's okay, LeeLee.
Keep the little ones safe.
You gotta do one thing and lock
the door behind us, though.
You got this.
So how are we gonna do this?
Uh, first we need something
like...
Here.
Give me your jacket,
they'll smell the blood.
Okay.
First...
What?
Do you carry that around, like,
just in case?
Shut up already!
Ah, Jesusie, puke in my mouth.
- It's a disguise.
- Ugh, God.
Ugh. Okay.
Hold this by the door.
Now! Go, go, go, go!
Come on!
Hurry! Hurry!
Oh, wait. No.
That's my Ataata's.
Let's go hunting.
Wait.
We have to.
Come on. Nobody fucks with
the girls from Pang.
Peters.
How sucky if you're like,
an alien,
and you're so hot for blood,
you've gotta go everywhere
to vacuum it up.
Like, obviously, we're going
to make a real mess.
There's blood there,
and blood here!
And oh my,
look at all the blood there!
That's because Uki was just
there murdering your BF.
- Shh!
- I'm just saying.
- - The perfume.
- What?
If the perfume wasn't
for Tiktak, who was it for?
- Oh my God.
- Dude, really?
All you did was flirt with him.
I thought friends have each
other's back.
It's an established fact that
I liked him first.
He was talking to me!
I tried to get you
to talk to him,
but you were all like, quiet,
and like, looking at the ground.
Whatever! You were all like,
"Blah, blah, I like KFC,"
"your mother's artwork sucks."
I was just talking back, holy.
I don't even like him.
He's got that lip fur which is
just gross.
His moustache is cute.
Fine! Like, what am I supposed
to say?
- Say you don't like him!
- I just did!
That's true, she just did.
- All right?
- Fine.
Fine.
Can we go back to hunting a
blood-sucking alien?
It's just a dog.
But the blood.
- Help me!
- Jesse!
Get him off!
Go!
Gross!
Oh my God, are you okay?
Yeah, it was more just freaky.
That's two for Uki, which makes
the meanest alien killer
in the North, by far.
I guess we can't choose
who we are.
Stay alert.
The other one could come
at any second,
and it's got no injuries.
This trap we're going to set
is really chancy
because it requires bait,
which I'm going to be.
So that makes both you chicks
responsible for me not dying.
As if!
Don't act so goody-goody,
saying you're bait.
What if I want to be bait?
You guys sound like you want to
be on "To Catch A Predator."
It's dangerous, okay?
They're always using bait on
those old pervos.
- That show's the best.
- So what?
- No one's daring you.
- No doy. I'm volunteering.
That's because I'm an especially
cool person,
which, sorry,
like being a mean alien killer,
is a thing you have to be
born as.
Uki, I'm sorry.
I know I've been a crap friend.
True, I'm still bait.
Fine.
I'm not stopping you.
I'm just saying.
I am sorry.
But you're fully annoying.
You know that, right?
Well, well, look at this
little bitch.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Was that your Honda
making that bang?
Yeah, thing's brand new and it
already has a backfire.
Boo-hoo!
I just wanted... I just got a
little freaked out before.
- I'm sorry.
- Well, if you're so sorry...
Uki!
If you're so sorry,
let us use your Honda.
Yeah, whatever you need.
All right, trap just got better.
Uh, Jesse, you're gonna go
with Thomassie.
And Uki, I've got something
planned for you.
Anything?
No.
- So...
- Do you think Maika likes me?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think she does.
Ugh, what's taking so long?
Do you think this one chickened
out because
we murdered the other two
so hard?
Patience, Uki.
Hunting is patience.
I'm gonna take this thing out.
Eww...
You know, Lefebvre was a douche,
but he didn't deserve to get his
skin torn off
and sewn by an alien.
Maybe just a butt probe.
I'm gonna look under the skin.
Should I? I can't help it!
I'm gonna look. I'm gonna look.
Eww...
Oh my God, you guys won't
believe what's under here.
It's so rude, and like, slimy!
It's got an ugly mouth.
Like, a really ugly mouth.
This totally reeks, like...
You remember that raven, Maika?
The one that had diarrhea and
kept on doing it
on your front steps every day?
It's like that.
Raven diarrhea.
Uki, shut up!
Turn around!
Turn around!
It's coming.
Hey, come get me.
Go, go, go!
You must be pretty pissy
about this.
And remember,
I killed the other too,
so you should be double pissy.
Are you gonna get me?
You want some tasty human flesh?
Now!
Aw, crap.
Oh my God.
Uki, come on!
Maika!
Uki!
It's behind you, come on!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Uki, come on! Uki!
I'm stuck!
Uki, come on!
Don't let go!
Uki, come on!
- It's got me!
- Oh my God!
Here, let me help!
Okay, don't let go.
Don't let go!
Hold tight, okay?
Hold tight!
Uki, don't let go!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
What are you doing?!
Put pressure on it!
I got it.
I just need you to get up,
please, Uki?
Is she breathing?
- I don't know!
- What do you mean?
I...
- I can't hear anything.
- What do you mean?
- Uki, you asshole!
- Come on!
Wake up! Uki!
Oh my God. Oh my god.
Are you okay?
I think I saw Jesusie.
He looked like that old drunk
who always pulls it out
in front of girls.
What? It's okay.
You're gonna be okay.
Don't let it get away.
I'm not leaving you.
If you don't go kill it,
I'm gonna hate you for life.
Uki.
'Cause then I got all my blood
sucked for nothing.
And then Pang is going to have
to wait for me
to recover to save it.
I'll see you soon.
Maika!
I'm coming with.
Friends got each other's back.
He likes you.
Not true.
True.
And you like him.
- So not true.
- True. You should.
I'd be a garbage friend
if I said not to.
Look.
What the...
What'd they do to your house?
It's in there.
Ataata?
Ataata!
Ataata!
Fight it, you have to!
Maika, are you okay?
I'm stuck! I'm stuck!
Jess, I'm stuck!
Okay, I'm coming.
Ataata, fight it!
It will get weaker!
You have to!
I fought like you taught me.
Its throat, Ataata!
You have to cut its throat!
Told you.
No one fucks with the girls
from Pang.
How come you never talked to me
at school before?
I always thought you were
too crazy.
Why didn't you ever talk to me?
I always thought you were
too cool.
Will you talk to me
when starts this year?
This is the best time I had
all summer.
Me too.
I'll check.
- Oh my God!
- - What?!
Ataata!
Is everyone okay?
Uki! Are you okay?
Aliens were hot for my blood,
but Maika didn't let them
take it all.
What is that?
I think it's the meat ship.
My bike is still out there.
- We did it!
- We scared 'em off!
No. I want to keep going.
Quit it with the flyers.
We're not exactly dying for
customers.
We're a hit because of you.
No, we're a hit because we sell
totally mamaqtuq country food.
Seriously?
I thought they had enough of
this forever ago.
Excuse me, folks.
Excuse me.
Are you the young lady that
fought the aliens.
I'm just a hunter.
Hey, hey! News chick!
I killed tons of aliens.
I found the aliens,
and I knew they were aliens
before anyone else knew
they were aliens.
I got clawed by one after it
chased me under a house.
So I'm pretty much the hero
of this town.
Point your cameras over here.
Come on, let's get this.
I'll tell you everything,
which will make you pee your
pants, and you'll love it.
So this one's for sure gonna
make you lots of money,
so that's why you're gonna
have to pay me in advance
if you want all access,
or I'll accept either of
you guy's phones.
What kinda phones you got?