Slay (2021) Movie Script
[soft jazz music playing]
Hey, guys.
So my name's Penny and a lot of you
have been asking me how I keep slaying.
Before I tell you that,
I need you to click on the like button,
and follow my YouTube page.
[electronic music playing]
[music ends]
[high-pitched electronic echo]
-Get out.
-Huh?
You heard me.
I said get out or are you deaf?
Are you really being serious?
Oh, my god. I got a slow one
this time, didn't I?
[shouts] Woman, get out!
Don't act like I forced myself in here.
I dont care. Just get out. Go! Right now!
No, youre crazy.
-No, no, no, you're the one who's crazy.
-Seriously?
-Exactly.
-Why are you being such an asshole?
Get out of my house!
What do you think you are?
Queen of all queens?
No, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
-Yeah, whatever.
-Gladly.
[mocking sounds]
[mocking] "I'm getting
the fuck out of here."
Not even good in bed.
[mumbles]
[kisses teeth][mumbles]
Hey!
[man] Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You seem to have forgotten something.
[woman] Fuck you, Richard.
Fuck you, too.
[woman] No fuck you.
You're upsetting me. You can have this.
-Yeah, you can have it all.
-Fuck you.
[woman] What the fuck?
Ah.
Oga Richie. Oga Rich, sir.
Say, no disrespect.
I want to ask something.
Why did you kick that girl out now?
You're better off
not asking any questions.
-Ah, sir, its the third one this week.
-So?
I don't know.
Theyre all hot. Now, why kick them out?
They're all fine girls.
Like I said you're better off
not asking questions.
Vamoose.
[hip-hop song playing]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Nothing new
We get higher every day
Nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
All right. Now that you're done,
the secrets begin.
How do I keep on fleek?
There are a couple of rules
to keeping me on fleek. Right?
Brows. Fleek.
Lashes. Flutter, darling.
And hair. Inches on inches on inches.
So this is a bad makeup day for me.
I'll have like two layers of makeup on.
But on a good day,
where you wanna find your blesser,
you put those layers on.
You need to look like a doll,
else it just doesn't work.
[soft jazz music playing]
[woman laughs] All I'm saying is
AKA belongs to Bonang.
Don't you think so?
I dunno.
I guess.
I am team Queen Bee all the way.
I mean, both Queen Bees.
[woman sings badly] If you liked it
then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it
then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it
then you should have put a ring on it
Do you ever think about settling down, or
are you waiting for the one?
Yeah, I guess so.
[woman] It just seems
like you've got it all figured out.
I mean, you literally bought yourself
a new car an hour ago.
And your old one was not even old yet.
Just felt like I needed something new.
So, we can tell our children the story
about how Daddy bought a new car
on his first date with Mommy.
[laughs]
[sighs]
[sighs]
Hey, Ma.
Um
About that money.
I'm gonna need it.
Look, I havent eaten the whole day
and rent is due.
[melancholy music playing]
What am I supposed to do?
[in Zulu] What am I to do?
[in English] Okay. Thank you.
[sighs]
[woman in Zulu] Hurry up and bath
Let's go to a party
-[in English] Hey!
-Hey.
Babes, life is so good, hey?
It is so good.
[in Zulu] If you werent boring, babes,
I would take you partying, spoil you.
But youre boring.
[in English] Speaking of boring,
I need the rent, eh.
Oh, yeah. [kisses teeth] Ill pay it.
How?
My mom said shes expecting it
tomorrow or something.
[laughs] Tomorrow or something?
-Bella, this guy's bugging me.
-Tomorrow. Okay?
Okay.
[in Zulu] Here is my rent, babes.
[in English] And I think next time
I go partying, you have to come with me,
because you have everything snatched.
[in Zulu] I'm off to bath.
[in English] Bye, Sexy!
[singing in background]
[playful music playing]
[man] Come, come. You're welcome.
You're welcome.
[whistles]
-Christ.
-Pick up your slippers!
This isn't your village.
Calm down. Calm down.
You can't behave like this here.
Dot Kom. You're living good.
Of course. That is what we do in Joburg.
Living large.
I came to see. Now I'm seeing.
[laughs]
-You're not ready.
-What?
What do you mean, I'm not ready?
I was born ready.
In fact, money makes me ready.
That is very good.
Because with the money, comes the girls.
So you need the money.
Hah, I like the sound of that.
Talking about girls, Dot Kom,
I brought a lot of money.
In fact, one cedi for each girl.
So, this girl takes one cedi,
another girl takes another--
Shut up your mouth.
You're an idiot. Where are you?
-South Africa.
-South Africa.
So do they use cedis in South Africa?
What we use here is rand dollar. Say it.
-Whoo. Rand dollar.
-Rand dollars.
Not cedis.
Um.
Wait.
-So?
-So,
welcome to the life of Joburg.
[laughs] I am here.
And the slay queens here are [kisses]
top notch.
Not all those stupid slay aunties
you have in Ghana.
Huh. All your neat jokes.
Hey. How come you call our slay queens
slay aunties?
I mean, the ones we have in Nigeria,
we don't even call them slay grandmothers.
They are slay
great-great-great-grandmothers.
You are stupid. [shouts] Come, let me
show you where you'll sleep.
Why do you shout? Calm down.
Come, come.
-Dot Kom?
-Mm?
Why aren't we staying in the big house?
No, this is my oga's house.
My house is there.
-Wait. Your house is there?
-Yes.
[laughing]
You're the houseboy. [laughs]
You are the houseboy.
I'm no houseboy.
It's not houseboy in South Africa.
You can call me proxy owner.
Hmm, my guy. Thats the oyinbo way
of saying houseboy.
You're a houseboy.
[in Pidgin] God, hope you're hearing.
Hope you're hearing all my heart cry.
[in English] I know my God would give me
this kind of house in this country.
God would do it for me.
See your head?
See the size of your head?
That's how you dream.
You dream big. It will never happen.
But is it not a dream
that brought you to this country?
Don't be unfortunate, idiot.
-Wait. I'm hungry.
-Oh!
So you can be hungry and talking
[mimicking] houseboy.
Listen, the only person I cook for here,
is my oga.
Every other person, I'm OYO.
You're on your own.
So go to the fridge or go to the stove
and cook something.
Come, let me show you where you'll sleep.
[in Twi] Silly man, I tell you I'm hungry
and you're fooling around.
That [repeats man's words],
that's what you'll eat
this afternoon, idiot.
Is that how to treat a foreigner? Huh?
-[phone camera clicks]
-[disgruntled groan]
[clicks tongue]
No, oga Rich, sir.
I don't feel this kind of pose.
Maybe you should try something like,
you know,
the babes like this kind of pose.
Or this one. Gangster. Superman.
Or try something like this.
You're not well. It's only nerd people
that pose like this. Nerds.
Or bookworms.
Yes.
And this? I'm not I'm not gangDo I
Only gangsters, they have the big chains
on their necks that that droop,
they're the ones that stand like this
and pose. Hmm. Hmm.
[in Pidgin] I want to help you,
saying babes like things like this.
[in English] Look,
I'm dressed like a formal corporate.
You know what I'm talking about?
This, like, GQ pose.
Take that picture, man.
Don't let me, um she-goat!
Ah.
Let's see this one.
[laughs] Now that's
what I'm talking about.
Damn, the girls gonna come running.
Hah! [laughs]
[softly] Or run away.
Sorry, sir. I was just--
-Take the picture.
-Sorry, sir.
She-goat!
[kisses teeth]
Let me give you another pose.
-GQ.
-Let me show you what's up, man.
My boys.
[man 1] I cant take any more
of these dumb slay queens, bruh, I swear.
[man 2] Shit. Give them to me.
[man 1] Man, Im serious.
I cant take another conversation
with a queen bee.
[man 2] You honestly
don't have to talk to them.
All you gotta do is fuck 'em.
[man 1] Man,
theres more to life than sex.
[man 2] Yeah. And that's
all the nasty shit that comes with it.
[man 1] How do you not know
all this at your age?
[man 2] My age? Im 30, not 85.
And that's your problem.
Youre boring.
[man 1] What's boring about wanting
a woman who's not after money?
[man 2 laughs] What a dream.
[man 1] A woman with big dreams.
-[laughs]
-Hmm. Shut up.
Nice wheels, by the way.
I just said shut up, man.
[sighs]
Second step. The blesser.
Now when you have your slay package done,
what you're gonna do,
is look for your blesser.
You're gonna look for the biggest,
fattest, richest,
richest, richest, richest.
[giggles]
Now, you'd rather eat your frog big,
than skinny, right?
Let's hope his pockets are big too.
You need to find these blessers, girls.
And to find these blessers,
you're gonna go all to the places
that the blessers go.
And how you find that out,
is follow me on my page,
@Penny on Instagram. [giggles]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Fly nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
Come and get it baby if you wanna play
Hey don't get heated
If I make you go on dates
Like I never gotta pay
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
[woman] Do you know her?
[man] No. Who?
[woman] Her.
You wanna get in my zone
Where you can't be scared
So you're just gonna stare at her
for no reason?
Let's see if we can fit
Into a fairytale
I don't know her.
Once upon a random night
I met you
I put you in a spell
Just watch the way you move
I laugh
And then watching you too
[huffs] You are not serious. Honestly.
I thought you left
I ran into the right
I'm looking inside
The side that you like
Yo. I thought you were with the hot chick.
Nah, she wasn't hot enough.
And we can have
A really good time tonight
You can step on do it if you
Shine so get on it on it
Do it
[clicks tongue]
Hmm. [smacks lips]
So. What's up with you?
What do you mean?
So you're, like, just like
one of those boring guys in here?
Hmm?
Why does everyone
keep asking me that question?
Maybe it's true?
I just broke up with someone.
That's it.
Do you know
that
we can find you someone,
right here, right now?
-Certainly not here.
-[groans]
It's a boring one.
[girl sings with the music]
[woman in Zulu] Hey, piss off!
Don't give me that attitude!
[in English] You're a waste of time.
What kind of man can't pay for food, huh?
I never want to see you again.
Waste of my time.
Friend? What's going on?
Friend can you believe,
this guy wouldn't pay for my food?
-[in Zulu] Really?
-[in English] Imagine.
What?
What does he think this is?
[in Zulu] Does he think
you're playing games?
-[in English] Only the best.
-For who?
We had a fight.
The food ended up on the floor.
And now I'm hungry and I don't have food.
[in Zulu] Friend you know I'm broke.
[in English] I'm also broke but, friend,
that has never stopped us.
-Ooh, I like it when you say us, friend.
-[laughs]
Oh, and thank you for the doggy bag.
Hey, you know you can never guarantee
these doggy bags.
You never know
where you're gonna end up after dinner.
Oh well, friend, you know what they say.
-No doggy bag.
-[both] No doggy style.
Hey, you're nasty.
But I love it because I'm nasty too.
[sighs] Friend, I'm exhausted.
You know these men who won't spend
a budgeting on you,
don't wanna buy you labels,
don't wanna pay for champagne,
and then they've been promising
you a divorce for how long?
-[in Zulu] Playing games here.
-I'm not playing games.
[in English] So, I'm thinking
-Next phase, friend.
-It's time
-for a new
-[both] victim.
Let's see what we've got
on the grizzygram.
You know it never fails us.
[in Zulu] Let's get them.
What do we have here?
Let me see.
[in English] Hmm.
He looks like he has budget.
Oh, yummy.
[in Zulu] And he's like yellow.
-Just like me, hey?
-[laughing]
I'll send him a message.
What should I say?
Say
[in English] Hello. Yellow.
Hello. Yellow.
[in Zulu] Then say [kisses].
Four times.
No, three times.
[in English] That's too much.
[in Zulu] Is four too much?
-[in English] Okay.
-Okay.
Send.
-Oh.
-[in Zulu] What?
Already replied.
[in English] Desperado.
-[laughs]
-Desperation.
It's all good because, essentially,
-that's what we bank on.
-Ching, ching, ching, ching.
Money in the bank.
Darling!
[in Zulu] I enjoy the fruits
of your labor.
You're lazy.
But you're my friend, aren't you?
[phone vibrates]
[guitar music playing]
[in English] He wants to video call.
-Friend?
-Hmm?
Have you seen yourself?
-Whats wrong with me?
-Where is your makeup?
In my bag. Get the powder.
-Hey!
-Get the powder.
[in Zulu] We're not here to play around.
[in English] Okay.
Channel yourself. Channel your inner
Ew! Oh, my gosh.
[in Zulu] Am I pretty?
[in English] Okay.
[in Zulu] Move. Don't let him see you.
[clears throat]
[giggles]
[in English] Hi, gorgeous. [giggles]
[Dot Kom] I'll introduce you
to some neighbors around here,
so you get familiar with the place.
So, where are we walking to?
Uh, just up the road.
I just don't want to go walking around
like I have nothing doing.
Huh?
But you're jobless.
The least you can do with your destiny
is to roam around.
What nonsense is that?
I'll find something to do.
Oh. No problem. You can go back.
If you find something to do,
go back, no problem.
-And I'm gonna go.
-Okay.
But I know how I kept my food.
I know exactly how I kept it.
If you eat it, me and you have problem.
No problem.
I know how you kept your food
'cause you're the one who cooked it.
[in Pidgin] Right?
[in English] I'll eat that food
and wait for you, when you come back,
we prepare other food, then we both eat.
-[laughs]
-It's that simple.
-Try it.
-Idiot.
You think I won't find my way back.
Will I find my way back?
[playful music playing]
Hey!
-Yeah?
-Huh?
-Hello.
-[in Pidgin] What are you watching?
What are you looking for here?
[in English] Sorry. Good day.
I was just passing.
[in Pidgin] If you are passing, walk past.
Why you watching
someone's house like that?
[in English] You're watching the houses?
Are you a thief?
No, I come here to
[man] Huh?
-I'm sorry, I mean--
-Who are you?
Um. My name is Emmanuelle.
-Uh-huh.
-I'm from Ghana.
West Africa. Then I came in yesterday.
I mean no harm. I'm sorry. I'm just--
-You're from Ghana?
-Yes.
So if you're from Ghana,
you're just walking on the street
and looking into people's houses?
I'm I'm sorry. I just--
-[man] You came from Ghana yesterday?
-Yes.
So you're here to visit or to work?
-Oh, I actually came to work.
-Huh?
So you want to work in South Africa?
-Yes. Yes.
-Do you have a permit?
-Permit?
-Yes.
-No.
-[in Pidgin] You have no permit?
-[in English] But I have two passports.
-You have two passports?
Brother, if you don't have a permit,
nobody will employ you in this country.
And if the government catches you,
you'll go straight to Ghana.
Nobody will employ you. I'm advising you.
So you better go before you die,
that is if they will give you a pass.
[in Ga] That's right.
You must get a permit to work here.
You can't just come like that
from Ghana and work here.
[in English] You are speaking
my local language. You're a Ghanaian.
-[laughs] My brother!
-Hmm-mmm, don't.
Don't. You need a permit
before you can touch me.
You don't touch people like that. Get out.
-Sorry.
-Thank you very much.
[in French] Go on, leave.
[in English] All right.
Thank you, sir. [laughs]
[in Ga] I'm working and you're looking,
how would I know you're not a thief?
[in English] Thief. You don't
You need a permit,
to touch me.
Where is she?
[phone chimes]
[big sigh]
[phone chimes]
Who'd have thought I'd come all the way
to Midrand for food,
but the food was amazing.
I like finding gems in places
where others haven't discovered yet.
For instance.
Ah. [laughs] That is cute and romantic.
So, tell me. What's your poison?
I mean, would you like to drink red wine?
-I would love some.
-Perfect.
Um, let's have your best bottle
of red wine, would you?
Hmm.
-Thank you.
-So,
what is a guy like you doing single?
I mean, you seem pretty stable.
And we're not getting any younger.
Well, indeed we're not.
I'm just, um, the kind of guy
who likes making money.
How about we make, love?
[laughs]
I must say, I find your naughtiness
quite endearing.
Thank you.
-So don't stop.
-Wow.
Can you pour it like water
from, like a calabash?
-Oh god.
-Let it flow, unending.
Stop! [laughs]
Ah yeah. Sure.
Please.
Hmm. Looks great.
[waiter] Thank you very much Mr. Reggie.
-Wait. Did he say Reggie?
-No, I don't think so.
I heard him. He said Reggie.
No. No, no.
I'm very sure he said Richie.
You probably have cobwebs in your ears.
I can help you clean them.
-I'm just joking. Cheers.
-Hmm. Okay.
[softly] He said Reggie.
[Penny] Cool down.
-[moaning]
-[man] Oh. Shit.
[moaning]
[groans]
[Penny moaning in the background]
[Penny moans loudly]
Oh, that's so good. Yes. Yes.
[loud exhale]
That was
-That was amazing.
-Right?
Yeah.
I
Dot Kom. Do I need a permit to work in SA?
Who told you that?
The man who lives next to your house.
He said I can be deported
if I don't have a permit,
and I'm caught working.
And no one will hire me
if I don't have a permit.
[laughs]
Don't mind that man.
He doesn't know what he's saying.
So, what are we going to do?
Okay.
Tomorrow, I will take you to a man
that will do it for you.
Sharp, sharp, you will receive
your work permit.
Ah.
That's right. That's more like it.
Is it the one who did yours?
Emmanuelle, you've only been two days
in this country.
You're asking all the questions.
Calm down, it's just a question.
-Just--
-Uh-uh.
Hey, but anyway.
[laughs]
-Guess what happened today?
-What?
Ha! I saw the lady
I've been seeing in my dreams.
I never knew I'll find her in SA.
A whole African mama.
That kind of humongous
[excited laugh] I met her today.
Where did you meet her?
Oh. The same house. Where the guy told me
about the permit thing.
Emmanuelle? Come.
-Come?
-Come, just come. Come. Come.
Listen. That woman is my woman.
If I hear you talk about her again,
[in Igbo] you take
whatever you see from me.
[in Twi] Let go of me!
-Don't, don't start this, your behavior.
-[in English] She is mine.
You started with this when we were kids.
Don't She is not yours.
I saw a lady and I'm telling you
the kind of lady I like. And I've got one.
I know your problem.
You're very jobless. Come.
Hold this. Hold this.
Clean this pool. We have a party.
Stupid boy.
Huh? That's not
I I see what you are doing.
You insult me,
then I'll forget that girl for you.
She's my girl. I saw her first.
You even like slim things.
Do you like oboshi?
Nonsense.
[hip-hop music playing]
Ain't no shame to style on him
Ain't no ain't no shame
To style on him
Ain't no ain't no shame
To style on him
You know that I'm a shine on it
I'm a shine on it
[soft music playing]
-What?
-Get out.
-Are you crazy?
-You're the one who's crazy
thinking you're gonna stay in my house.
Now get out.
What's wrong with you?
-You can't remain here. I said get out.
-Okay, baba.
-What's the problem? Do you have a wife?
-[shouts] Get out!
Friend, can you please come?
-This guy is crazy.
-What's going on?
What did he do to you?
What's going on? Tell me.
I'll explain when I get home, okay.
I'm so pissed, you have no idea.
Okay, friend, just hurry back home.
I'm worried.
-I'm really worried--
-Are you still under my roof?
James!
-[in Pidgin] Take this girl away, quickly!
-[in English] Ah, shut up.
Why did you even come here?
Staying in my house
and breathing my oxygen.
[in Pidgin] Bye, bye, bye, bye.
Throw her out in the streets.
[in English] Ah. Want to finish my oxygen?
-This guy.
-Nonsense.
[in Pidgin] Seems like this guy is crazy.
[in English] Hah. Guy. Is he your man?
-Do you trust this guy?
-[scoffs]
Bro, relax.
Anything that has my name on it flies.
See his tummy. Like a yahoo boy.
-Yahoo boy with tum--.
-Can a Southie yahoo scam a Nigerian guy?
Impossi-can't. Calm down.
-Ah. Dot Kom.
-Hey, Charlie Khumalo, my brother.
-How are you, brother?
-I'm good. How you doing, man?
-Good to see you, man.
-Yeah, listen. This is my brother, right.
He just came into town, you know.
And he needs work permit paper.
-You know [laughs]
-For sure, for sure.
-Ha fa na?
-No!
Not "ha fa na", "how far nah?"
-Ha fa na.
-Mm-mmm.
"How far nah."
How fa naaa.
Don't worry.
Just forget it before you spoil it.
Sorry, brother. You know,
sometimes I feel like I have
some Nigerian in me
because of my big, uh,
you know what I mean. Right?
Where is it?
-Anyway. What's it gonna cost man?
-Listen.
Don't worry, I'm gonna sort you out.
It's only gonna cost you 40,000.
No, come on, 40K?
I charge the Chinese
and the Pakistanis 80K,
and they don't complain.
Dot Kom, 40K in naira is okay.
No, no, no. Not naira.
Forty thousand rands.
And I want all my money in cash,
-now.
-What, 40,000 r 40,000 rand?
It's okay. It's okay.
No problem man, I got it.
-Forty thousand rand?
-Sure brother.
No problem, so what's the next thing?
All I need is a copy of your passport
and you're good to go.
That's it?
How long would it take?
No, tomorrow this time, you'd have it.
-Tomorrow by this time?
-Tomorrow, this time.
-I told you.
-Ha fa na!
[laughing] Ha fa na!
Pay him.
[Penny] Top of the morning to you,
peasant. Your queen.
She's awoken.
Well, good morning, Queen.
You know why I'm a queen, darling?
Um, because you're a Black woman?
No. No. Because I can smell money
a mile away.
Ah. Of course.
Anyway.
[in Zulu] Clive sent me pictures
of his cars and house.
[in English] Life goals.
Hey, I'm so lucky.
Mm. Lucky, you say.
-Okay.
-Jealousy is such a bad color on you.
[in Zulu] It doesn't suit you.
[chuckles]
[in English] Anyway,
yesterday was yesterday.
And tomorrow is right now, so
[in Zulu] where's the rent?
[in Zulu] Friend, can you pay it
for me this month?
[laughs] [in English] Laughs in Zulu.
[in Zulu] Babes, you want me
to pay it for you?
Yeah, I mean,
What is my rent money compared
to those rich guys you hang out with?
Oh, okay. You want me to spend my
shoe budget and pay your rent?
No, babes. Hustle.
You can be grumpy
after our selfie. Come on.
[in English] Okay.
Smile.
Any news from your guy?
He gave us 24 hours.
Now, it's more than 24 hours
and we've not had anything from him.
-Calm down. Calm down.
-Don't tell me to calm down.
The South Africans can be slow
with some things.
They're not very fast like that.
-Relax. Give him time.
-Please, call him. Call him.
-I don't like the feeling of this thing.
-I know you do--
-I smell something very fishy.
-I heard what you said, now relax.
-Is it going?
-Hmm?
His number is switched off.
It may be his network.
Dot Kom, call him again.
Call the switched off number.
Call something. See.
Forty thousand rand.
-Hey, Dot Kom. Forty thousand rand.
-Relax.
-Do you know how much--
-I said relax. Have you ever heard
that a South African scammed or 419-ed
a Ghanaian or a Nigerian?
It has never happened
in the history of the world.
It has never happened. That is true.
This will be the first to happen.
-Record-breaking one now.
-Impossible.
It's never happened.
Dot Kom, I'm I'm warning you about this--
It's impossi-can't. It can't happen.
You dare tell me it can't happen
and you won't call the person.
Maybe he's in his village.
Network is not
His number is not going.
-Oh, my gosh.
-What? What? What?
Clive says he's coming over.
He cannot see me looking like this.
No for real.
[in Zulu] What will he do
if he finds me like this? What then?
I think I should bath and put makeup on.
[in English] Just need to do it
and you should do the same.
[in Zulu] Then maybe we can get
a rich man for you too.
You know I don't care for rich men.
Well, I do. Unless you want to be a hobo.
[in English] Bye, bye, hobo.
[Penny sings in Zulu] Take a bath
[phone chimes]
Nudes?
[murmurs]
[upbeat music playing]
Give me that money
Give give me that money
Give me that money
Give me that that money money
Give me that money
Give give me that money
Give me that money
Give give me that money
Never in my life. Never.
-[clicks tongue]
-[playful music playing]
Friend.
I can't believe he did that.
-Why would he do that?
-I don't know.
-I mean, he was cute and all, but--
-But what?
[sighs]
I don't know, okay.
The restaurant was great.
His house was even better.
-I don't know.
-And he kicked you out?
Just like that?
Just like that.
Well, I mean, we did have, like,
a tiny disagreement,
but it really was nothing, friend.
-About?
-It was silly.
Like, the waiter came
and called him by another name.
And then he was insisting
that I got the name wrong.
-And, yeah, that was it.
-That can't be the issue.
Yeah. 'Cause then, that would be stupid.
Yeah.
But then, Richard and Reggie
sound the same, so.
I mean, other than that,
everything was perfect.
Until I had to call you an Uber.
You know what? I'm gonna go chill.
Sorry, ma'am. Sorry.
[in Zulu] Sorry, ma'am.
One moment, please?
[in English] A doggy baggy?
Did you do doggy style?
No.
[upbeat music playing]
Driver?
-[inhales] Hi.
-Hi.
What's up?
I'm good, I guess.
It's a good day. Yeah?
Yeah.
There's sun today.
Sorry about that.
It's hot.
So, um
Okay.
She's gone.
Find a good woman, then she runs.
Education.
[inhales] You were right.
-I needed this.
-I told you.
Shame, friend. And you even
got me chocolates.
Because I'm an awesome friend.
The friend of all friends.
The bestest who wants me
-to do doggy style for doggy bags.
-[laughing]
Imagine.
[laughs] But it's fine, because you'll do
the same for me. So chill.
[laughs]
Friend.
That guy from number five?
Why are you speaking so late?
You know, literally five minutes
before you came here,
I saw him drive out.
[sighs] Okay, fine.
Then, what's our plans?
Why did we join Tinder?
-For love?
-No.
-For love of food.
-Oh, yeah.
-Yes.
-Oh, yeah.
-I'm talking oyster, sushi
-Yes, champa-pa.
-Champa-pa-do-pa-do.
-The life.
-The best.
-We deserve
-The world.
-[both] We deserve
-Girl.
-The champonza. Awesome.
[laughing]
-[Emmanuelle] My brother, my brother.
-[Dot Kom] Enough.
I'm warning you.
Leave my babe alone. Leave my babe.
I know what you're doing.
Hey, you too. I know what you're doing
and I'm also warning you.
If you don't stop telling her those lies
that this house belongs to you,
I'll tell her.
-But the house belongs to me.
-It belongs to your oga.
Not you.
Jesus, did I do a bad thing
to bring this boy from Accra, Ghana?
To South Africa?
-And house you?
-And house me?
Am I not paying rent?
See, if you don't get them this night,
you will not see where you sleep.
I promise.
Ah. If you don't take time,
I will tell Delilah all the lies
you've been lying about this house.
That it belongs to you.
L l look at this house.
Can you build this one?
I'm not gonna spend much time with you
because you're an idiot.
So, I have a party to plan
and that's what I'm going to do.
Why are you in a rush? Is it your party?
Isn't the party my party?
Have you ever seen a dead man
celebrating his own funeral?
What does that mean?
-Very good.
-Hey!
Hi.
Uh, hi.
Um
Could I take you out some time?
Actually, I don't think so.
Just like that?
I mean, there's no point
in leading you on.
You're a driver.
Um, I mean, you're busy
driving your boss around and stuff.
Oh, really.
Sure.
Makes sense.
All right, then. This is
It's been great.
Great.
[upbeat music playing]
Hmm. Hottie Honey.
Och, it's just a handle.
I know, but it suits you.
'Cause you're quite a hottie.
-[laughs] Thank you.
-So sweet.
-So, why Midrand? It's so far.
-Oh, yeah, I like to discover places.
New places. Where others haven't
discovered yet. That's like my forte.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, I hope the food is great here.
I hope so too, myself. Never tried it,
but it looks like
it's gonna be really nice.
-It does.
-Richard.
-Hey.
-How are you?
I'm I'm fine.
-And how are you?
-How's the job hunting going?
Huh? Job what?
Yes, the last time
you were still job hunting.
-Auntie--
-[in Zulu] Hey, you. Richard.
[in English] You wanted me to look mad.
-N No.
-[in Zulu] Don't make me crazy, boy!
[in English] Come, come, Auntie. You know,
let me walk you, let me walk you out.
Come, come, come with me.
[nervous laugh] So come, come. Thank you.
Come, come.
[rhythmic music playing]
[man exhales]
[woman] Hello boss.
Where's Richard?
Uh, I'm not sure. He's I don't know.
Go and get him.
-Okay.
-And get the bags from the car.
Yes, of course sir.
I am I'm really sorry about that.
My auntie, she's, um
Ever since, um
Since we lost my uncle,
she's been suffering this dementia,
you know.
Mental disorder.
She's talking about my cousin, Reggie.
That one is a loser.
He's been job hunting for, like,
three years now, so.
I always put him on my back
to help him and assist him,
so she confuses us, you know.
She thinks he's me and I'm him.
Ah, you know, you're just so sweet.
I know. I am. I'm like that. [laughs]
-[phone chimes]
-One second.
[phone chiming]
Um
I really must run. I'm so sorry.
I have to go. It's, um
It's, um, business. A meeting, actually.
My, um, my Chinese partners,
they're about to back
out of something very big, so.
-I really must run, sorry.
-So I--
[tense music playing]
[clanging]
[sneaky music playing]
[sighs]
What kind of stupid incompetence is that?
Look, no. Don't even say that.
You know what? Your mom would be
ashamed of you right now.
I should have fired you. What kind of
-[sighs]
-Make sure that shit is done.
You dumbass.
[Reggie] What? Do you know what I do
to people that take advantage of me?
[in Yoruba] Are you crazy?
[in English] What nonsense!
Do you really think I got this far
with this kind of incompetence
that you're displaying?
No, no. This is not going to work.
[in Yoruba] Stupid idiot.
No, look. Don't speak.
Don't speak.
[in English] Just keep quiet there.
[in Yoruba] What's your problem, anyway?
[in English] You're a bloody fool.
[in Yoruba] Come,
let me tell you something.
[in English] This thing must be done.
[in Yoruba] All right, wait
I said, wait, just be patient.
[groans]
[sighs]
[fast frantic music playing]
[in Yoruba] Brother, what's going on?
I hear you're looking for me.
Where were you?
[in English] Uh, by the pool.
I was just by the pool.
[laughs] You were by the pool.
-Yes, sir.
-Oh boy, I wish I could be like you.
Hmm. Take a break from life.
[quick exhale]
Uh, so, um, how was your flight?
[huffs] Same as always, you know.
[in Yoruba] You know how it is.
But, man.
[in English] Traveling is tiring.
[in Yoruba] I'm tired of it.
[in English] But I have to catch
another flight tonight.
Ah.
-Yeah.
-[in Yoruba] Brother, you're trying.
[in English] You're really trying.
[in Yoruba] It's not easy now.
[in English] [scoffs] You know
I work hard, Richard.
-I know, I know.
-Hmm.
-[in Yoruba] You should try that someday.
-I'm making the effort.
[laughs]
What about the job thing? How's it going?
[in English] Well, um
Like, I've I've submitted my CV
on, you know, the Internet,
like, you know, that's what
I've been doing with my time.
-Wait. Internet?
-Yeah.
[in Yoruba] What's wrong with you?
On the 'net? Are you a yahoo boy?
[in English] You should be out there, man,
looking for work.
Going office to office.
[in Yoruba] You're not a child.
[in English] It's computer age.
[in Pidgin] Com-, com- what?
-[in English] Everything's on the net.
-Hmm.
Okay. On the net.
So which websites did you go to?
Uh. Plenty now.
Like Linda Ikeji, you know?
-You say?
-Eh, Linda Ikeji. Like Instablog.
Tunde Ednut.
What is that? Linda who?
[in Pidgin] Is it an HR person?
Who? Tunde what?
[in English] Blog?
[in Yoruba] This guy, seems like
it's really yahoo you want to do.
No, no, I don't want to do yahoo.
Gmail or Hotmail.
[groans]
[sniffing]
-Richard!
-Yeah, bro.
[in Yoruba] Please, come here.
Any problem?
Is there any Hope no problem.
[in English] Did you sleep on my bed?
Huh?
You deaf? Did you sleep on my bed?
No, now.
Brother Reggie why would I
why would I sleep on your bed?
Oh, well. Why would a grown-ass man
be living in my house for free?
Which person smells this?
This is Richard, this is you. [sniffs]
[in Pidgin] You want to tell me I'm crazy?
[in English] This is you. I can
This is you.
I can smell you here. This is you.
You slept on my bed.
No, I don't know about crazy, but
This doesn't smell of me now, honestly.
This is your smell.
[in Pidgin] Smell your beard.
-Huh?
-[in Pidgin] Smell your armpit.
Now smell the pillow.
[in Pidgin] Isn't that your smell?
Brother, no, no, no.
[in English] You know what you need to do?
You need to just, first inhale coffee.
Let me just get coffee to clear the smell
in your nose first.
-You are stupid.
-No, honestly--
[in Pidgin] Smell it,
that's a man's smell.
[in Yoruba] Brother, don't act this way.
-This is--
-[in Pidgin] It's you.
Who did you bring here?
So you didn't bring anyone here?
[laughs]
Because it's a man's smell on that pillow.
-Or did you bring a man here?
-Brother, you know me, I like women.
-I don't do men.
-Richard, this whole
This whole place [sniffs]
It's smelling like Richard.
[in English] Now Richard,
go and wash this thing away.
-Smell it.
-No, no, no. This is not me.
[in Yoruba] Brother Reggie,
this is not me. I swear.
[in English] Stupid boy.
[singing in Ga]
[singing in Ga]
Uh-huh.
[in Pidgin] What's the problem?
[in English] I wish
you can ask me that again.
See, I've spent over 40,000 rand,
just to get a work permit.
I don't have the permit,
neither do I have the money.
Neither can I even report that bastard
to the police.
Heh. And I have just less than one week
to live in SA.
I am in trouble.
You're in trouble. "I'm in trouble."
[in Pidgin] Aren't you a man?
[in English] See, my friend,
stop the why are you stressing yourself?
Huh?
-Why do you stress yourself?
-It's easy for you to say.
My brother.
[kisses teeth] See, this country,
we have a lot of ways.
[in Pidgin] We have plenty ways
of getting these kinds of things.
Why do you worry?
[in English] Just find yourself
an SA girl.
Find yourself a South African
beautiful woman.
You got your permit, automatically.
And if you marry her, boom,
automatically you get your permit.
You can do anything. You can marry.
You can, um, chase girls.
You can work.
Anything.
[in Pidgin] If the police see you,
if the police blinks its eye at you,
[clicks tongue] You can tell them
to buzz off.
-[in English] Really?
-Ah. You say, really.
Be stop being slow and find some,
-beautiful lady and marry.
-See, that's the problem.
I can't just marry someone
because of papers.
I can't do that.
Then find some beautiful girl, yeah.
In SA we have a lot of beautiful girls.
Heh. They like foreign guys.
Because of their big penises.
-Hmm.
-Hah. The girls here?
[in Ga] Don't make me talk too much.
[in English] But
I know I'm a foreigner.
I don't have a big Mine is very
[in Pidgin] You don't have?
-No, mine is--
-Hey, stop lying to yourself.
[in English] Every West African man,
has a big penis.
What are you talking about?
We are good in that department.
-Huh.
-Ah.
Wait, do you have a big penis?
-'Cause you--
-Hah, don't. Hey.
[in Pidgin] You don't You shouldn't ask.
Go ask the girls.
[in English] Here, I'll show you.
You know my Me, I get
Really?
Grown-ass men like you,
talking about the sizes of their penises.
Is this what masculinity has come to?
No, uh, sorry.
It wasn't penis we were talking about,
we're talking about pen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe you.
Pen for writing, not penis.
[sighs]
[sighs]
So.
Are you ready to teach me
how to get these rich guys,
[in Zulu] or you want a new roommate?
[in English] [scoffs] Serious?
Great. I'll cry, but my makeup.
-Ah.
-[laughing]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Fly nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
Come and get it baby if you wanna play
Don't get heated
If I make you go on dates
You look so beautiful.
This is perfect. It is perfect.
You are slaying. You are slayage. Now.
Turn around. The slayage starts.
Okay. So the first thing we do,
our hair is always in front of us.
Right? Inches.
Inches. Levels. Okay.
Now, how you get this man
after he sees your inches,
[in Zulu] watch me, okay?
-[in English] Okay.
-Turn around.
Get close to his crotch.
And then you arch your back.
Arch your back a bit.
Arch your back.
Inside, not outside. In. In.
[in Zulu] Like a bath.
Never in my life.
[in English] Grind.
Grind. [louder] Grind.
Come. Turn, turn, turn.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay.
Arch your back.
Arch. Arch.
[in Zulu] I'm hungry.
I can't deal with this right now.
[continues muttering]
[Reggie] [in English] So I guess
I'll see you in about a week's time.
Okay, boss.
Well done.
Safe journey, bro.
There's nothing inside this thing.
[in Yoruba] All right, brother. Okay.
The Lord will be with you.
[laughs] Thank you.
[in English] Ah.
[chuckles]
[kisses teeth]
[upbeat music playing]
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Beauty, beauty.
[laughs] I don't know
what you heard about me.
But you can't get a dollar
Out of me, hah
[chuckles]
That's what I'm talking about. Let's go
down.
[laughs]
Am I girl, what you need
If you need a fat purse
I'm no I ain't making
So, come give me hug
[grunts] [laughs]
You feel me
[groans]
Ha! I'm rocking you tonight, baby.
We're gonna [grunts],
slow wind, baby. Yeah.
So, how long have you been a doctor?
Ten years now.
Wow. That must feel great saving lives.
-I know, tell me about it.
-[woman choking]
[woman] Oh, my word. She's choking.
She needs a doctor.
Please, do something.
Do something. She's choking.
You said you're a doctor. Go help her.
-Um.
-Please!
Yeah.
[tense music playing]
Thank you.
-Yeah. You're welcome.
-Thank you, so much.
You're welcome.
Oh, my God. Thank goodness for you.
[laughs] Well, you know me.
Now, the last step.
You will flaunt your old boobs,
so he can buy you your new boobs. [laughs]
You need to be intriguing to him.
So look him straight in the eye,
then ignore him.
Flaunt your body, baby.
If you're at a club, twerk, swerk,
shake, shake, shake.
[hip-hop music playing]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Fly nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
Come and get it baby if you wanna play
Don't get heated
if I make you go on dates
Like I never get away
And I never lose a game
Nothing more to say hey
Hustle till we break hey
I'm a go, I'm a go
[soft music playing]
[woman] Oh, gosh. [nervous laugh]
Hello.
Hi.
[light music playing]
-Hello.
-Yes, hello, hello.
Can I get your order?
Yes, please, can I have a, a gravy
to go with my dumpling?
Um, I I I'm joking.
Just, just a a a Sprite.
A glass of champagne for me, please.
Will do. Coming right up.
Ch ch champagne?
Yeah.
Oh. In this economy?
[sighs]
Is that your real hair?
-What?
-Is that your real hair?
-Of course it's my real hair.
-[sniffs]
You just never know nowadays. Yes?
[whispers] You never know.
[Reggie] What do you mean, my booking?
I've got a three-hour wait
because of my flight delay.
I'm so sorry, Mr. Reggie.
Let me see what I can do for you.
Don't worry. You know what? I'll just go
to another restaurant and wait.
[in Pidgin] Huh.
What kind of nonsense is this?
[in English] What?
Um, sorry. I'm so sorry about that.
I was, uh,
kind of constipated, you know.
That's what happened. Sorry.
Really. I have to run off.
You know, duty calls.
Just got a As a doctor I have to
But, but don't worry, you can stay.
I'll take care of the bill on my way out.
Bye-bye. Bye. Bye.
So you put your bags down and calm down.
-Okay.
-You can't be seen with anyone. Cos, whoo.
Pop cool lounge. Streets be wild.
[man 1] Ah. Some beautiful angels
we can have some good times with, eh?
[inaudible]
Take a seat. And thank me for that.
Oh, trust me, we do know
how to thank you.
[in Zulu] You're so beautiful.
[clears throat]
[in English] So, ladies, um,
are you girls ready to have a good time?
-Oh, yes.
-Yes. I guess so.
-Oh?
-[man 1] Lovely.
[in Zulu] Hey, sweetie. Will you show me?
[man 1] Hmm.
[in Zulu] So pretty. You all right?
[in English] Yes, I'm fine.
[in Zulu] Then why so quiet?
[in English] I It's just that I don't
have much to say.
[in Zulu] Are you afraid of me?
[in English] No.
I I just don't like being touched.
[in Zulu] A prostitute who doesn't like
to be touched?
[in English] Excuse me?
What did you call me?
I called you what you are.
[in Zulu] What did you come here for?
[laughs] Nothing
is going to happen here today.
Hey, then what are we doing here?
-Hey.
-Relax, we can still have a good time.
[in English] Da, just leave me
the hell alone.
Guys, guys. Take it easy. Take it easy.
You're fine. You're fine.
It's all right. It's okay.
Yeah.
So.
What's a girl like, so beautiful,
doing on Tinder?
Well, it is the way to go
these days. Right?
I know.
You found the one now. You can get off.
Just get off.
I mean, not, not get off, get off.
I mean, the app. You can get off the app.
Just delete it. Just
Sorry, sorry.
-No. It's fine.
-Oh, yeah.
Hmm. You must taste this. Try.
No, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm okay.
-I ate.
-Hmm, okay.
You're not gonna finish this one?
No, you can have it.
-Hey, guys.
-Oh.
-Here's your bill.
-Yeah?
-Bill.
-Ah, my hands are Can you just
-Yeah. Pass, pass.
-What?
My, my hands are dirty. Just
Yep. Yep.
Thank you.
Is this beef?
Uh. I Oh.
-[farts]
-Oh!
Yeah, I'm lactose intolerant.
-[farts]
-Ew!
Excuse me. Uh. Bathroom.
[grunts, farts]
[coughs]
Hi, guys.
Hey. Hey!
[shouting]
[fast-paced music playing]
Hey. Hey! Where are you going?
-Is he coming back?
-I don't know.
Well I'm sorry,
but you're gonna have to pay the bill.
Woman. Fuck.
-Ah.
-Aha.
Hey!
-Thank you.
-Thank you, so much.
Hey. So sorry. Do you work here?
Um, yes sir.
Ah you're pretty.
I mean, what do you do
when you're not at work?
So normally, I work here.
And the rest of the time
I like resting at home.
Could I
take you out some time?
Can I have your numbers?
[soft laugh]
-Where are you from?
-Alex.
-Just down the road here.
-Yeah.
-Right.
-Yeah.
Please. You really need to step on it.
Step on the throttle, I beg of you.
My friend, you're even crawling
below the speed limit.
I should have just gotten
a tortoise to drive me home.
What are you doing a U-turn for?
It's right here. It's right here.
Stop, stop, stop.
Here. I'm not gonna give you any star.
[jazzy music playing]
[Richard] Hi.
Where's Reggie?
He left hours ago.
No, no, no, no. I saw him earlier.
Yeah, but Oh! He left this for you.
Thank god.
That that means he's left already.
[sighs] Yeah.
Move.
Man whore.
[man in Zulu] Your thighs are so white,
it's like they're made of snow.
[in English] Relax. Relax.
Relax.
-[exhales]
-Hey. Hey.
-[in Zulu] Slow down.
-What's the matter?
She's never done this before,
she's nervous.
[man] Can I get you champagne?
[Penny in English] Be cool, friend.
You're cool. Okay. Slay.
[man in Zulu] Just give me one kiss.
Or do you want cash up front?
[in English] Yo, man.
I think she's saying leave her alone.
Who the fuck are you?
What the fuck do you want?
[man grunts]
[man] Why were you there?
Oh, great. Now you're judging me too?
I'm not judging. I was there too.
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, what was I doing
with those disgusting men?
I'm not.
Do you know what?
You wouldn't understand. Okay?
You're just a driver.
You get told where to go and get paid.
Why do rich men have to be such assholes?
-Ouch.
-What's your problem?
I'm just listening.
Yeah. I bet that's what you do
when Clive tells you what to do.
Actually
Clive is my older brother,
so he kind of, has the right to.
Your brother?
Clive is my brother and I'm not a driver.
[soft music playing]
[sighs]
[woman] What the hell
is wrong with men? Really?
What did this one do now?
Oh, friend. It's getting crazy now.
No, but who invites you on a date
and then runs away from paying the bill?
Oh. Guys.
Maybe he was looking for free food.
Like you.
Shut up.
[laughs]
No, seriously.
This is really getting out of hand.
I know.
[in Zulu] I'm sorry, friend.
[in English] Sorry.
We need to get them back.
We have to get them back.
We must get them back.
We will get them back.
And we're gonna start
with that bastard, Richard.
[in Zulu] That rubbish.
Hmm!
[in English] I didn't say
I'm a driver. You did.
-Yeah, but you could've told me the truth.
-Why?
-You were having so much fun.
-I'm serious. Why would you lie like that?
What?
You're not, like, happy I have money?
That's not
that's not all the matters. Okay?
Well, sometimes it seems like it is.
Well, not to everyone.
Like, I thought it would help
find a real woman.
[scoffs] How ironic.
So you lied to find a real woman.
-Well, that's clever.
-Now what does that mean?
I don't know what it means.
Okay? I need time to make sense of it all.
I don't even know if I can trust you.
Don't say that.
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, my god.
-You did it.
-Told you, man.
-How did you manage to get--
-I'm the king of this city.
Look at this one.
-This city's mine.
-Oh, my god.
Oh, god. That's my party. That's my party.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh.
Hi, mama. [laughs]
Whoo! Oh, oh, oh.
-Hey. Hey. Hey!
-What?
Hey. Charlie.
-Charlie?
-Charlie. [shouting]
[Emmanuelle] Steady. Don't move.
Don't move! Oh! Steady.
[in Twi] Hey, catch him!
[in English] Thief! Hold it. Hold it.
Thief. Hold it!
-Thief. He's stolen my money.
-[screaming]
[screaming and yelling]
Help!
[Emmanuelle] Thief! Stop him.
-Hey!
-[cheers]
[sneaky music playing]
[in Zulu] Hey, you.
Why are you looking at me strangely?
Because you do strange things.
At your age.
-[in English] Excuse me?
-Do you know how young that boy is?
This one. This is what I'm talking about.
-[laughs]
-[in Zulu] What's so funny?
[in English] You should be
ashamed of yourself.
You have no sense of decency.
[in Zulu] Do you realize
how much younger he is than you?
[in English] And you're busy
cradle snatching him.
He should be running
after sexy girls like me.
[in Zulu] And not grannies like you.
What's so sexy about you, tomboy?
Whatever.
[English] And then did you know
that he sleeps with girls
and he throws them out the next day?
[in Zulu] Listen to me. Firstly,
I don't sleep with young boys.
That boy is not by Ben10.
He's my nephew.
[playful music playing]
-Really, ma'am?
-Mm-mm.
Sorry.
[in English] It's just that
he did my friend so wrong, ma'am.
[in Zulu] He really did her wrong.
[in English] And now
she's depressed, ma'am.
[in Zulu] What did he do to her?
[clicks tongue]
Like I mentioned, ma'am.
[in English] He picks up girls,
he sleeps with them,
and he throws them out,
just like that, the next day.
But why does she allow herself
[in Zulu] Why does she allow men
to sleep with her?
[in English] She's looking for a husband.
[in Zulu] Ah. Disaster.
From that dog? Good luck.
But I don't understand.
How does he accomplish all that,
while he's living
under his brother's roof?
Really?
[in English] Are you saying
that house is not his?
All those things are not his?
[in Zulu] Listen to me.
[in English] That boy
is a good-for-nothing.
[in Zulu] That parasite
is jobless and broke.
[in English] So his brother
doesn't even know
that he's using his house,
his cars, and his clothes to attract girls
so he can sleep with them?
Girls who are like that, like your friend,
[in Zulu] who believe that house
belongs to him.
[in English] Wow.
[in Zulu] He is broke, he has nothing.
Now I know why he was acting
so weirdly at the restaurant.
-Was that in Midrand?
-Yes.
Yes, that sounds just like him.
That guy
[in English] He needs
to be taught some sort of lesson.
A good one.
[in Zulu] How can I help?
-Tell me, how can I help?
-[laughs]
I'm glad you asked, ma'am.
I have a plan. I'll tell you.
-[in English] Hi.
-Hello.
-I got you a flower.
-Aw.
You and Emmanuelle are both so sweet.
Thank you.
-Emmanuelle?
-Yes.
Come in. Come.
-Emmanuelle?
-Mmm-mm.
[huffs]
[soft playful music playing]
-Baby.
-Hello.
How are you?
-What are you doing here?
-Can we help you?
-[Richard] Hmm.
-[woman laughs]
-Very yummy.
-Oh, how handsome are you?
Ooh!
Coming from a lady looking like you,
that's quite a compliment, I must say.
Look at that, all fleshy and sweet.
Look, I know it's kinda early, but--
Too early to party?
It's never too early to party.
I like that. Turn around. Give me some
Um, can I use the restroom?
Yeah, sure.
-[laughs]
-Right there.
-Don't miss me too much.
-I'll try not to.
[sneaky music playing]
-[Richard] What are you doing?
-Oh! [laughs]
Waiting for you.
Do you wanna get kinky?
-Oh, wow.
-Do you want me to lick you all over?
Yeah, you can tell how I want it,
don't you?
-[laughing]
-[woman growls]
Slow down, baby.
-[woman growls]
-Don't get all tiger on me now.
Where is this woman?
Oh, um, Delilah!
Oga just called.
He said he's coming next week.
Okay.
Okay? Just like that?
Normally, when I ask you what is it,
you give me millions of answers.
Today, okay?
I'm just thinking about my life.
Is this what we have to do for men?
-What do you mean?
-Men always want something from you.
Even if they give you the world,
they still expect you
to give them your soul.
And who wants that? Lucifer.
The devil.
Not once. Not once will they ever ask
what we women want.
[laughs] [in Ga] Listen to her.
[in English] Stop bothering your head.
[in Pidgin] Don't keep suffering.
Men will be selfish.
[in English] You see, men, you people,
the people you call men,
we are very selfish. You see God,
we say, he's a man.
God is selfish. Why?
He created the world alone.
See Satan. We say, he's a man.
He is destroying the world. Alone.
We are selfish. That is how the world is.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Give me kinky.
Give it to me, baby. Give me that kinky.
[groans] I love kinky.
Love me kinky. [crazy laughing]
Shut up. You are going to stop
bringing girls
to a place that is not yours.
What are you talking about?
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
-Stop, stop, stop.
-Shut up!
-Stop it!
-Shut up!
You are going to explain this to your boss
or whatever the hell he is.
-Stop taking those pictures.
-[camera clicks]
Look. What do you want?
What do you want? Tell me.
-I want you
-[camera clicks]
-to confess.
-[camera clicks]
And tell everybody,
-what you really are.
-[camera clicks]
[fast-paced music playing]
[Richard] James, James, James.
Don't let that bitch go.
Get that bitch. Get her! Get her!
-Get her for me. James!
-Hey.
[excited shouts]
[Richard] Don't let that bitch go.
[in Pidgin] Oga, this is a big one.
-[yells]
-[laughing]
-[in English] Hi, babe.
-Hi. Come in. Come in.
How are you doing?
-I'm fine, thank you.
-Ah, you look lovely.
-Thanks.
-I can't believe we've gotten here.
Yeah.
-Oh, I mean, about us. The connection.
-[knock on door]
-Oh.
-You look lovely in this dress,
-by the way.
-Thanks, thanks.
-Hold on a minute.
-Okay. Don't worry.
I'll be here.
-[Dot Kom] Hey, baby.
-Hi.
My baby, baby, baby
God. God. What have I done
to deserve this?
-What are you doing here?
-What am I doing here?
I was invited.
-[Delilah] Mmm-mm.
-I was invited too. Wait.
What is this all about?
-It's not nice, huh?
-No, it's not.
I could see what both of you were up to.
Flowers and all.
Am I a prize here?
Is there a competition on
that I know nothing about?
I'll tell you what it is.
He likes you because he wants papers.
Yes. He wants papers.
Emmanuelle, is that true?
You're a traitor.
[gasps] Dot Kom doesn't own that house.
-[screams]
-He's just the houseboy.
-[Delilah] Dot Kom, is that true?
-Um, um, I'm a proxy owner.
Oh, don't talk rubbish.
What does that mean?
That is just another way
of him saying, houseboy.
-You're a houseboy.
-What have I done to this boy?
What have I done? Did I do bad
bringing you from the village
to South Africa, put a roof
over your stinky head.
-Have I done anything wrong?
-Where's my money?
They're scammers.
They scammed two of us.
-Idiot.
-[Delilah] Both of you,
get out of here. Now.
-Listen to her.
-Get out.
-Get out.
-Get out. Get out.
-Both of you, I said.
-You see what you've caused.
-Yeah, both of you.
-[arguing]
Get out. Get out. I said, get out!
-Stop spitting on me.
-It is not
-Stop spitting on me.
-That was my own spit.
Delilah.
-Can you get
-Get out of here. Both of you.
-Out, out, out.
-I'll see you tomorrow?
No, never. Out of here. Both of you.
-[Dot Kom] Delilah!
-[Emmanuelle] Delilah.
[sigh]
Two wannabe slay kings.
[scoffs]
[upbeat music playing]
If you wanna talk about us
You can tell your friends
All your best, yeah
I don't wanna talk about it
[sighs]
[Penny] Hello.
[man] Lerato. Can I talk to you?
I'm I'm really sorry.
I mean, I I I thought
I had it all planned out,
but it was stupid and didn't work.
I really care about you.
How do I know
you're not pretending right now?
Really? With all these flowers?
Flowers are nothing to a rich man.
Ooh!
My time is.
And I chose to spend it with you.
Look.
All I need is a chance
to prove to you that I'm not the man
that you thought I am.
Please.
It's so cute.
Okay.
[ululating]
[Lerato] But I think
we need to go somewhere else.
-I agree.
-[Penny laughs]
Hey, girl. Are you ready
for mission Payback?
What? What?
-Sending the photo.
-Of what?
Ah. To Richard.
-Oh!
-Yes.
-[laughs]
-Send.
All right, then. Action.
My name is Chriselda.
I'm 77 years old.
[in Zulu] I'm from deep rural Nquthu.
[in English] No, mama.
[in Zulu] Not like that.
[in English] You must sound
like you know Richard, personally.
-Oh.
-Yes?
-Okay.
-[in Zulu] Okay. Let's start again.
-[in English] Action.
-[clears throat]
[in Zulu] I was the one
who changed Richard's diapers.
Up until the age of 12,
he used to wet his pants.
[laughs]
-Whoo.
-[in Zulu] You know
-[laughs]
-I cleaned his underpants.
Tiny pee-pee, but massive testicles.
Traditional healers couldn't
give him medicine to make it grow.
-Nothing.
-[laughing]
I took him to Venda,
where there's a tree with growth potion.
But still nothing.
You should have seen him,
sticking it into every tree he could find.
Nothing.
[laughing]
Hey, mama. Go on. Go on.
He owns nothing. No bike, no house.
It's all a figment of his imagination.
Yes. And cut.
Thank you, ma'am.
-No, man. What is it?
-Thank you.
Thank you, mama, for helping my friend.
You two, so desperate for pee-pees.
[phone chiming]
[sighs]
Hello, guys. Um
My name is Richard and um
I wanna tell you all that
everything I've been posting
on social media has
-completely not been true.
-[laughing]
[Richard] I've lied about who I am,
and what I am.
[cheers]
But you know what?
[dramatic drumbeats]
[clicks tongue]
It's not over.
[laughs]
I hope that helps.
When you get your blesser,
get your money, get paid.
We love you, boo. Love you.
From me, Penny. I love you so much.
I hope you enjoyed the channel.
See you next time.
And remember. Slay, bitches.
Or you get eliminated.
Lerato!
Lerato!
Your turn, babe.
[soft music playing]
[man] Are you ready for your new home?
Our new home.
No more rent.
No more rent.
Lot of the days myself I'm raising
Because money's such a hole
And you know I'm going places
On this road to riches
Seen so many faces
But yours is the only one
I know is worth chasing
Yeah so I'm gonna run to your love
Then run to you in the morning
Run to your love
Then run to you in the morning
Running ya-ya-ya
Running ya-ya-ya
Run to your love
Then run to you in the morning
Hey, guys.
So my name's Penny and a lot of you
have been asking me how I keep slaying.
Before I tell you that,
I need you to click on the like button,
and follow my YouTube page.
[electronic music playing]
[music ends]
[high-pitched electronic echo]
-Get out.
-Huh?
You heard me.
I said get out or are you deaf?
Are you really being serious?
Oh, my god. I got a slow one
this time, didn't I?
[shouts] Woman, get out!
Don't act like I forced myself in here.
I dont care. Just get out. Go! Right now!
No, youre crazy.
-No, no, no, you're the one who's crazy.
-Seriously?
-Exactly.
-Why are you being such an asshole?
Get out of my house!
What do you think you are?
Queen of all queens?
No, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
-Yeah, whatever.
-Gladly.
[mocking sounds]
[mocking] "I'm getting
the fuck out of here."
Not even good in bed.
[mumbles]
[kisses teeth][mumbles]
Hey!
[man] Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You seem to have forgotten something.
[woman] Fuck you, Richard.
Fuck you, too.
[woman] No fuck you.
You're upsetting me. You can have this.
-Yeah, you can have it all.
-Fuck you.
[woman] What the fuck?
Ah.
Oga Richie. Oga Rich, sir.
Say, no disrespect.
I want to ask something.
Why did you kick that girl out now?
You're better off
not asking any questions.
-Ah, sir, its the third one this week.
-So?
I don't know.
Theyre all hot. Now, why kick them out?
They're all fine girls.
Like I said you're better off
not asking questions.
Vamoose.
[hip-hop song playing]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Nothing new
We get higher every day
Nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
All right. Now that you're done,
the secrets begin.
How do I keep on fleek?
There are a couple of rules
to keeping me on fleek. Right?
Brows. Fleek.
Lashes. Flutter, darling.
And hair. Inches on inches on inches.
So this is a bad makeup day for me.
I'll have like two layers of makeup on.
But on a good day,
where you wanna find your blesser,
you put those layers on.
You need to look like a doll,
else it just doesn't work.
[soft jazz music playing]
[woman laughs] All I'm saying is
AKA belongs to Bonang.
Don't you think so?
I dunno.
I guess.
I am team Queen Bee all the way.
I mean, both Queen Bees.
[woman sings badly] If you liked it
then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it
then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it
then you should have put a ring on it
Do you ever think about settling down, or
are you waiting for the one?
Yeah, I guess so.
[woman] It just seems
like you've got it all figured out.
I mean, you literally bought yourself
a new car an hour ago.
And your old one was not even old yet.
Just felt like I needed something new.
So, we can tell our children the story
about how Daddy bought a new car
on his first date with Mommy.
[laughs]
[sighs]
[sighs]
Hey, Ma.
Um
About that money.
I'm gonna need it.
Look, I havent eaten the whole day
and rent is due.
[melancholy music playing]
What am I supposed to do?
[in Zulu] What am I to do?
[in English] Okay. Thank you.
[sighs]
[woman in Zulu] Hurry up and bath
Let's go to a party
-[in English] Hey!
-Hey.
Babes, life is so good, hey?
It is so good.
[in Zulu] If you werent boring, babes,
I would take you partying, spoil you.
But youre boring.
[in English] Speaking of boring,
I need the rent, eh.
Oh, yeah. [kisses teeth] Ill pay it.
How?
My mom said shes expecting it
tomorrow or something.
[laughs] Tomorrow or something?
-Bella, this guy's bugging me.
-Tomorrow. Okay?
Okay.
[in Zulu] Here is my rent, babes.
[in English] And I think next time
I go partying, you have to come with me,
because you have everything snatched.
[in Zulu] I'm off to bath.
[in English] Bye, Sexy!
[singing in background]
[playful music playing]
[man] Come, come. You're welcome.
You're welcome.
[whistles]
-Christ.
-Pick up your slippers!
This isn't your village.
Calm down. Calm down.
You can't behave like this here.
Dot Kom. You're living good.
Of course. That is what we do in Joburg.
Living large.
I came to see. Now I'm seeing.
[laughs]
-You're not ready.
-What?
What do you mean, I'm not ready?
I was born ready.
In fact, money makes me ready.
That is very good.
Because with the money, comes the girls.
So you need the money.
Hah, I like the sound of that.
Talking about girls, Dot Kom,
I brought a lot of money.
In fact, one cedi for each girl.
So, this girl takes one cedi,
another girl takes another--
Shut up your mouth.
You're an idiot. Where are you?
-South Africa.
-South Africa.
So do they use cedis in South Africa?
What we use here is rand dollar. Say it.
-Whoo. Rand dollar.
-Rand dollars.
Not cedis.
Um.
Wait.
-So?
-So,
welcome to the life of Joburg.
[laughs] I am here.
And the slay queens here are [kisses]
top notch.
Not all those stupid slay aunties
you have in Ghana.
Huh. All your neat jokes.
Hey. How come you call our slay queens
slay aunties?
I mean, the ones we have in Nigeria,
we don't even call them slay grandmothers.
They are slay
great-great-great-grandmothers.
You are stupid. [shouts] Come, let me
show you where you'll sleep.
Why do you shout? Calm down.
Come, come.
-Dot Kom?
-Mm?
Why aren't we staying in the big house?
No, this is my oga's house.
My house is there.
-Wait. Your house is there?
-Yes.
[laughing]
You're the houseboy. [laughs]
You are the houseboy.
I'm no houseboy.
It's not houseboy in South Africa.
You can call me proxy owner.
Hmm, my guy. Thats the oyinbo way
of saying houseboy.
You're a houseboy.
[in Pidgin] God, hope you're hearing.
Hope you're hearing all my heart cry.
[in English] I know my God would give me
this kind of house in this country.
God would do it for me.
See your head?
See the size of your head?
That's how you dream.
You dream big. It will never happen.
But is it not a dream
that brought you to this country?
Don't be unfortunate, idiot.
-Wait. I'm hungry.
-Oh!
So you can be hungry and talking
[mimicking] houseboy.
Listen, the only person I cook for here,
is my oga.
Every other person, I'm OYO.
You're on your own.
So go to the fridge or go to the stove
and cook something.
Come, let me show you where you'll sleep.
[in Twi] Silly man, I tell you I'm hungry
and you're fooling around.
That [repeats man's words],
that's what you'll eat
this afternoon, idiot.
Is that how to treat a foreigner? Huh?
-[phone camera clicks]
-[disgruntled groan]
[clicks tongue]
No, oga Rich, sir.
I don't feel this kind of pose.
Maybe you should try something like,
you know,
the babes like this kind of pose.
Or this one. Gangster. Superman.
Or try something like this.
You're not well. It's only nerd people
that pose like this. Nerds.
Or bookworms.
Yes.
And this? I'm not I'm not gangDo I
Only gangsters, they have the big chains
on their necks that that droop,
they're the ones that stand like this
and pose. Hmm. Hmm.
[in Pidgin] I want to help you,
saying babes like things like this.
[in English] Look,
I'm dressed like a formal corporate.
You know what I'm talking about?
This, like, GQ pose.
Take that picture, man.
Don't let me, um she-goat!
Ah.
Let's see this one.
[laughs] Now that's
what I'm talking about.
Damn, the girls gonna come running.
Hah! [laughs]
[softly] Or run away.
Sorry, sir. I was just--
-Take the picture.
-Sorry, sir.
She-goat!
[kisses teeth]
Let me give you another pose.
-GQ.
-Let me show you what's up, man.
My boys.
[man 1] I cant take any more
of these dumb slay queens, bruh, I swear.
[man 2] Shit. Give them to me.
[man 1] Man, Im serious.
I cant take another conversation
with a queen bee.
[man 2] You honestly
don't have to talk to them.
All you gotta do is fuck 'em.
[man 1] Man,
theres more to life than sex.
[man 2] Yeah. And that's
all the nasty shit that comes with it.
[man 1] How do you not know
all this at your age?
[man 2] My age? Im 30, not 85.
And that's your problem.
Youre boring.
[man 1] What's boring about wanting
a woman who's not after money?
[man 2 laughs] What a dream.
[man 1] A woman with big dreams.
-[laughs]
-Hmm. Shut up.
Nice wheels, by the way.
I just said shut up, man.
[sighs]
Second step. The blesser.
Now when you have your slay package done,
what you're gonna do,
is look for your blesser.
You're gonna look for the biggest,
fattest, richest,
richest, richest, richest.
[giggles]
Now, you'd rather eat your frog big,
than skinny, right?
Let's hope his pockets are big too.
You need to find these blessers, girls.
And to find these blessers,
you're gonna go all to the places
that the blessers go.
And how you find that out,
is follow me on my page,
@Penny on Instagram. [giggles]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Fly nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
Come and get it baby if you wanna play
Hey don't get heated
If I make you go on dates
Like I never gotta pay
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
[woman] Do you know her?
[man] No. Who?
[woman] Her.
You wanna get in my zone
Where you can't be scared
So you're just gonna stare at her
for no reason?
Let's see if we can fit
Into a fairytale
I don't know her.
Once upon a random night
I met you
I put you in a spell
Just watch the way you move
I laugh
And then watching you too
[huffs] You are not serious. Honestly.
I thought you left
I ran into the right
I'm looking inside
The side that you like
Yo. I thought you were with the hot chick.
Nah, she wasn't hot enough.
And we can have
A really good time tonight
You can step on do it if you
Shine so get on it on it
Do it
[clicks tongue]
Hmm. [smacks lips]
So. What's up with you?
What do you mean?
So you're, like, just like
one of those boring guys in here?
Hmm?
Why does everyone
keep asking me that question?
Maybe it's true?
I just broke up with someone.
That's it.
Do you know
that
we can find you someone,
right here, right now?
-Certainly not here.
-[groans]
It's a boring one.
[girl sings with the music]
[woman in Zulu] Hey, piss off!
Don't give me that attitude!
[in English] You're a waste of time.
What kind of man can't pay for food, huh?
I never want to see you again.
Waste of my time.
Friend? What's going on?
Friend can you believe,
this guy wouldn't pay for my food?
-[in Zulu] Really?
-[in English] Imagine.
What?
What does he think this is?
[in Zulu] Does he think
you're playing games?
-[in English] Only the best.
-For who?
We had a fight.
The food ended up on the floor.
And now I'm hungry and I don't have food.
[in Zulu] Friend you know I'm broke.
[in English] I'm also broke but, friend,
that has never stopped us.
-Ooh, I like it when you say us, friend.
-[laughs]
Oh, and thank you for the doggy bag.
Hey, you know you can never guarantee
these doggy bags.
You never know
where you're gonna end up after dinner.
Oh well, friend, you know what they say.
-No doggy bag.
-[both] No doggy style.
Hey, you're nasty.
But I love it because I'm nasty too.
[sighs] Friend, I'm exhausted.
You know these men who won't spend
a budgeting on you,
don't wanna buy you labels,
don't wanna pay for champagne,
and then they've been promising
you a divorce for how long?
-[in Zulu] Playing games here.
-I'm not playing games.
[in English] So, I'm thinking
-Next phase, friend.
-It's time
-for a new
-[both] victim.
Let's see what we've got
on the grizzygram.
You know it never fails us.
[in Zulu] Let's get them.
What do we have here?
Let me see.
[in English] Hmm.
He looks like he has budget.
Oh, yummy.
[in Zulu] And he's like yellow.
-Just like me, hey?
-[laughing]
I'll send him a message.
What should I say?
Say
[in English] Hello. Yellow.
Hello. Yellow.
[in Zulu] Then say [kisses].
Four times.
No, three times.
[in English] That's too much.
[in Zulu] Is four too much?
-[in English] Okay.
-Okay.
Send.
-Oh.
-[in Zulu] What?
Already replied.
[in English] Desperado.
-[laughs]
-Desperation.
It's all good because, essentially,
-that's what we bank on.
-Ching, ching, ching, ching.
Money in the bank.
Darling!
[in Zulu] I enjoy the fruits
of your labor.
You're lazy.
But you're my friend, aren't you?
[phone vibrates]
[guitar music playing]
[in English] He wants to video call.
-Friend?
-Hmm?
Have you seen yourself?
-Whats wrong with me?
-Where is your makeup?
In my bag. Get the powder.
-Hey!
-Get the powder.
[in Zulu] We're not here to play around.
[in English] Okay.
Channel yourself. Channel your inner
Ew! Oh, my gosh.
[in Zulu] Am I pretty?
[in English] Okay.
[in Zulu] Move. Don't let him see you.
[clears throat]
[giggles]
[in English] Hi, gorgeous. [giggles]
[Dot Kom] I'll introduce you
to some neighbors around here,
so you get familiar with the place.
So, where are we walking to?
Uh, just up the road.
I just don't want to go walking around
like I have nothing doing.
Huh?
But you're jobless.
The least you can do with your destiny
is to roam around.
What nonsense is that?
I'll find something to do.
Oh. No problem. You can go back.
If you find something to do,
go back, no problem.
-And I'm gonna go.
-Okay.
But I know how I kept my food.
I know exactly how I kept it.
If you eat it, me and you have problem.
No problem.
I know how you kept your food
'cause you're the one who cooked it.
[in Pidgin] Right?
[in English] I'll eat that food
and wait for you, when you come back,
we prepare other food, then we both eat.
-[laughs]
-It's that simple.
-Try it.
-Idiot.
You think I won't find my way back.
Will I find my way back?
[playful music playing]
Hey!
-Yeah?
-Huh?
-Hello.
-[in Pidgin] What are you watching?
What are you looking for here?
[in English] Sorry. Good day.
I was just passing.
[in Pidgin] If you are passing, walk past.
Why you watching
someone's house like that?
[in English] You're watching the houses?
Are you a thief?
No, I come here to
[man] Huh?
-I'm sorry, I mean--
-Who are you?
Um. My name is Emmanuelle.
-Uh-huh.
-I'm from Ghana.
West Africa. Then I came in yesterday.
I mean no harm. I'm sorry. I'm just--
-You're from Ghana?
-Yes.
So if you're from Ghana,
you're just walking on the street
and looking into people's houses?
I'm I'm sorry. I just--
-[man] You came from Ghana yesterday?
-Yes.
So you're here to visit or to work?
-Oh, I actually came to work.
-Huh?
So you want to work in South Africa?
-Yes. Yes.
-Do you have a permit?
-Permit?
-Yes.
-No.
-[in Pidgin] You have no permit?
-[in English] But I have two passports.
-You have two passports?
Brother, if you don't have a permit,
nobody will employ you in this country.
And if the government catches you,
you'll go straight to Ghana.
Nobody will employ you. I'm advising you.
So you better go before you die,
that is if they will give you a pass.
[in Ga] That's right.
You must get a permit to work here.
You can't just come like that
from Ghana and work here.
[in English] You are speaking
my local language. You're a Ghanaian.
-[laughs] My brother!
-Hmm-mmm, don't.
Don't. You need a permit
before you can touch me.
You don't touch people like that. Get out.
-Sorry.
-Thank you very much.
[in French] Go on, leave.
[in English] All right.
Thank you, sir. [laughs]
[in Ga] I'm working and you're looking,
how would I know you're not a thief?
[in English] Thief. You don't
You need a permit,
to touch me.
Where is she?
[phone chimes]
[big sigh]
[phone chimes]
Who'd have thought I'd come all the way
to Midrand for food,
but the food was amazing.
I like finding gems in places
where others haven't discovered yet.
For instance.
Ah. [laughs] That is cute and romantic.
So, tell me. What's your poison?
I mean, would you like to drink red wine?
-I would love some.
-Perfect.
Um, let's have your best bottle
of red wine, would you?
Hmm.
-Thank you.
-So,
what is a guy like you doing single?
I mean, you seem pretty stable.
And we're not getting any younger.
Well, indeed we're not.
I'm just, um, the kind of guy
who likes making money.
How about we make, love?
[laughs]
I must say, I find your naughtiness
quite endearing.
Thank you.
-So don't stop.
-Wow.
Can you pour it like water
from, like a calabash?
-Oh god.
-Let it flow, unending.
Stop! [laughs]
Ah yeah. Sure.
Please.
Hmm. Looks great.
[waiter] Thank you very much Mr. Reggie.
-Wait. Did he say Reggie?
-No, I don't think so.
I heard him. He said Reggie.
No. No, no.
I'm very sure he said Richie.
You probably have cobwebs in your ears.
I can help you clean them.
-I'm just joking. Cheers.
-Hmm. Okay.
[softly] He said Reggie.
[Penny] Cool down.
-[moaning]
-[man] Oh. Shit.
[moaning]
[groans]
[Penny moaning in the background]
[Penny moans loudly]
Oh, that's so good. Yes. Yes.
[loud exhale]
That was
-That was amazing.
-Right?
Yeah.
I
Dot Kom. Do I need a permit to work in SA?
Who told you that?
The man who lives next to your house.
He said I can be deported
if I don't have a permit,
and I'm caught working.
And no one will hire me
if I don't have a permit.
[laughs]
Don't mind that man.
He doesn't know what he's saying.
So, what are we going to do?
Okay.
Tomorrow, I will take you to a man
that will do it for you.
Sharp, sharp, you will receive
your work permit.
Ah.
That's right. That's more like it.
Is it the one who did yours?
Emmanuelle, you've only been two days
in this country.
You're asking all the questions.
Calm down, it's just a question.
-Just--
-Uh-uh.
Hey, but anyway.
[laughs]
-Guess what happened today?
-What?
Ha! I saw the lady
I've been seeing in my dreams.
I never knew I'll find her in SA.
A whole African mama.
That kind of humongous
[excited laugh] I met her today.
Where did you meet her?
Oh. The same house. Where the guy told me
about the permit thing.
Emmanuelle? Come.
-Come?
-Come, just come. Come. Come.
Listen. That woman is my woman.
If I hear you talk about her again,
[in Igbo] you take
whatever you see from me.
[in Twi] Let go of me!
-Don't, don't start this, your behavior.
-[in English] She is mine.
You started with this when we were kids.
Don't She is not yours.
I saw a lady and I'm telling you
the kind of lady I like. And I've got one.
I know your problem.
You're very jobless. Come.
Hold this. Hold this.
Clean this pool. We have a party.
Stupid boy.
Huh? That's not
I I see what you are doing.
You insult me,
then I'll forget that girl for you.
She's my girl. I saw her first.
You even like slim things.
Do you like oboshi?
Nonsense.
[hip-hop music playing]
Ain't no shame to style on him
Ain't no ain't no shame
To style on him
Ain't no ain't no shame
To style on him
You know that I'm a shine on it
I'm a shine on it
[soft music playing]
-What?
-Get out.
-Are you crazy?
-You're the one who's crazy
thinking you're gonna stay in my house.
Now get out.
What's wrong with you?
-You can't remain here. I said get out.
-Okay, baba.
-What's the problem? Do you have a wife?
-[shouts] Get out!
Friend, can you please come?
-This guy is crazy.
-What's going on?
What did he do to you?
What's going on? Tell me.
I'll explain when I get home, okay.
I'm so pissed, you have no idea.
Okay, friend, just hurry back home.
I'm worried.
-I'm really worried--
-Are you still under my roof?
James!
-[in Pidgin] Take this girl away, quickly!
-[in English] Ah, shut up.
Why did you even come here?
Staying in my house
and breathing my oxygen.
[in Pidgin] Bye, bye, bye, bye.
Throw her out in the streets.
[in English] Ah. Want to finish my oxygen?
-This guy.
-Nonsense.
[in Pidgin] Seems like this guy is crazy.
[in English] Hah. Guy. Is he your man?
-Do you trust this guy?
-[scoffs]
Bro, relax.
Anything that has my name on it flies.
See his tummy. Like a yahoo boy.
-Yahoo boy with tum--.
-Can a Southie yahoo scam a Nigerian guy?
Impossi-can't. Calm down.
-Ah. Dot Kom.
-Hey, Charlie Khumalo, my brother.
-How are you, brother?
-I'm good. How you doing, man?
-Good to see you, man.
-Yeah, listen. This is my brother, right.
He just came into town, you know.
And he needs work permit paper.
-You know [laughs]
-For sure, for sure.
-Ha fa na?
-No!
Not "ha fa na", "how far nah?"
-Ha fa na.
-Mm-mmm.
"How far nah."
How fa naaa.
Don't worry.
Just forget it before you spoil it.
Sorry, brother. You know,
sometimes I feel like I have
some Nigerian in me
because of my big, uh,
you know what I mean. Right?
Where is it?
-Anyway. What's it gonna cost man?
-Listen.
Don't worry, I'm gonna sort you out.
It's only gonna cost you 40,000.
No, come on, 40K?
I charge the Chinese
and the Pakistanis 80K,
and they don't complain.
Dot Kom, 40K in naira is okay.
No, no, no. Not naira.
Forty thousand rands.
And I want all my money in cash,
-now.
-What, 40,000 r 40,000 rand?
It's okay. It's okay.
No problem man, I got it.
-Forty thousand rand?
-Sure brother.
No problem, so what's the next thing?
All I need is a copy of your passport
and you're good to go.
That's it?
How long would it take?
No, tomorrow this time, you'd have it.
-Tomorrow by this time?
-Tomorrow, this time.
-I told you.
-Ha fa na!
[laughing] Ha fa na!
Pay him.
[Penny] Top of the morning to you,
peasant. Your queen.
She's awoken.
Well, good morning, Queen.
You know why I'm a queen, darling?
Um, because you're a Black woman?
No. No. Because I can smell money
a mile away.
Ah. Of course.
Anyway.
[in Zulu] Clive sent me pictures
of his cars and house.
[in English] Life goals.
Hey, I'm so lucky.
Mm. Lucky, you say.
-Okay.
-Jealousy is such a bad color on you.
[in Zulu] It doesn't suit you.
[chuckles]
[in English] Anyway,
yesterday was yesterday.
And tomorrow is right now, so
[in Zulu] where's the rent?
[in Zulu] Friend, can you pay it
for me this month?
[laughs] [in English] Laughs in Zulu.
[in Zulu] Babes, you want me
to pay it for you?
Yeah, I mean,
What is my rent money compared
to those rich guys you hang out with?
Oh, okay. You want me to spend my
shoe budget and pay your rent?
No, babes. Hustle.
You can be grumpy
after our selfie. Come on.
[in English] Okay.
Smile.
Any news from your guy?
He gave us 24 hours.
Now, it's more than 24 hours
and we've not had anything from him.
-Calm down. Calm down.
-Don't tell me to calm down.
The South Africans can be slow
with some things.
They're not very fast like that.
-Relax. Give him time.
-Please, call him. Call him.
-I don't like the feeling of this thing.
-I know you do--
-I smell something very fishy.
-I heard what you said, now relax.
-Is it going?
-Hmm?
His number is switched off.
It may be his network.
Dot Kom, call him again.
Call the switched off number.
Call something. See.
Forty thousand rand.
-Hey, Dot Kom. Forty thousand rand.
-Relax.
-Do you know how much--
-I said relax. Have you ever heard
that a South African scammed or 419-ed
a Ghanaian or a Nigerian?
It has never happened
in the history of the world.
It has never happened. That is true.
This will be the first to happen.
-Record-breaking one now.
-Impossible.
It's never happened.
Dot Kom, I'm I'm warning you about this--
It's impossi-can't. It can't happen.
You dare tell me it can't happen
and you won't call the person.
Maybe he's in his village.
Network is not
His number is not going.
-Oh, my gosh.
-What? What? What?
Clive says he's coming over.
He cannot see me looking like this.
No for real.
[in Zulu] What will he do
if he finds me like this? What then?
I think I should bath and put makeup on.
[in English] Just need to do it
and you should do the same.
[in Zulu] Then maybe we can get
a rich man for you too.
You know I don't care for rich men.
Well, I do. Unless you want to be a hobo.
[in English] Bye, bye, hobo.
[Penny sings in Zulu] Take a bath
[phone chimes]
Nudes?
[murmurs]
[upbeat music playing]
Give me that money
Give give me that money
Give me that money
Give me that that money money
Give me that money
Give give me that money
Give me that money
Give give me that money
Never in my life. Never.
-[clicks tongue]
-[playful music playing]
Friend.
I can't believe he did that.
-Why would he do that?
-I don't know.
-I mean, he was cute and all, but--
-But what?
[sighs]
I don't know, okay.
The restaurant was great.
His house was even better.
-I don't know.
-And he kicked you out?
Just like that?
Just like that.
Well, I mean, we did have, like,
a tiny disagreement,
but it really was nothing, friend.
-About?
-It was silly.
Like, the waiter came
and called him by another name.
And then he was insisting
that I got the name wrong.
-And, yeah, that was it.
-That can't be the issue.
Yeah. 'Cause then, that would be stupid.
Yeah.
But then, Richard and Reggie
sound the same, so.
I mean, other than that,
everything was perfect.
Until I had to call you an Uber.
You know what? I'm gonna go chill.
Sorry, ma'am. Sorry.
[in Zulu] Sorry, ma'am.
One moment, please?
[in English] A doggy baggy?
Did you do doggy style?
No.
[upbeat music playing]
Driver?
-[inhales] Hi.
-Hi.
What's up?
I'm good, I guess.
It's a good day. Yeah?
Yeah.
There's sun today.
Sorry about that.
It's hot.
So, um
Okay.
She's gone.
Find a good woman, then she runs.
Education.
[inhales] You were right.
-I needed this.
-I told you.
Shame, friend. And you even
got me chocolates.
Because I'm an awesome friend.
The friend of all friends.
The bestest who wants me
-to do doggy style for doggy bags.
-[laughing]
Imagine.
[laughs] But it's fine, because you'll do
the same for me. So chill.
[laughs]
Friend.
That guy from number five?
Why are you speaking so late?
You know, literally five minutes
before you came here,
I saw him drive out.
[sighs] Okay, fine.
Then, what's our plans?
Why did we join Tinder?
-For love?
-No.
-For love of food.
-Oh, yeah.
-Yes.
-Oh, yeah.
-I'm talking oyster, sushi
-Yes, champa-pa.
-Champa-pa-do-pa-do.
-The life.
-The best.
-We deserve
-The world.
-[both] We deserve
-Girl.
-The champonza. Awesome.
[laughing]
-[Emmanuelle] My brother, my brother.
-[Dot Kom] Enough.
I'm warning you.
Leave my babe alone. Leave my babe.
I know what you're doing.
Hey, you too. I know what you're doing
and I'm also warning you.
If you don't stop telling her those lies
that this house belongs to you,
I'll tell her.
-But the house belongs to me.
-It belongs to your oga.
Not you.
Jesus, did I do a bad thing
to bring this boy from Accra, Ghana?
To South Africa?
-And house you?
-And house me?
Am I not paying rent?
See, if you don't get them this night,
you will not see where you sleep.
I promise.
Ah. If you don't take time,
I will tell Delilah all the lies
you've been lying about this house.
That it belongs to you.
L l look at this house.
Can you build this one?
I'm not gonna spend much time with you
because you're an idiot.
So, I have a party to plan
and that's what I'm going to do.
Why are you in a rush? Is it your party?
Isn't the party my party?
Have you ever seen a dead man
celebrating his own funeral?
What does that mean?
-Very good.
-Hey!
Hi.
Uh, hi.
Um
Could I take you out some time?
Actually, I don't think so.
Just like that?
I mean, there's no point
in leading you on.
You're a driver.
Um, I mean, you're busy
driving your boss around and stuff.
Oh, really.
Sure.
Makes sense.
All right, then. This is
It's been great.
Great.
[upbeat music playing]
Hmm. Hottie Honey.
Och, it's just a handle.
I know, but it suits you.
'Cause you're quite a hottie.
-[laughs] Thank you.
-So sweet.
-So, why Midrand? It's so far.
-Oh, yeah, I like to discover places.
New places. Where others haven't
discovered yet. That's like my forte.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, I hope the food is great here.
I hope so too, myself. Never tried it,
but it looks like
it's gonna be really nice.
-It does.
-Richard.
-Hey.
-How are you?
I'm I'm fine.
-And how are you?
-How's the job hunting going?
Huh? Job what?
Yes, the last time
you were still job hunting.
-Auntie--
-[in Zulu] Hey, you. Richard.
[in English] You wanted me to look mad.
-N No.
-[in Zulu] Don't make me crazy, boy!
[in English] Come, come, Auntie. You know,
let me walk you, let me walk you out.
Come, come, come with me.
[nervous laugh] So come, come. Thank you.
Come, come.
[rhythmic music playing]
[man exhales]
[woman] Hello boss.
Where's Richard?
Uh, I'm not sure. He's I don't know.
Go and get him.
-Okay.
-And get the bags from the car.
Yes, of course sir.
I am I'm really sorry about that.
My auntie, she's, um
Ever since, um
Since we lost my uncle,
she's been suffering this dementia,
you know.
Mental disorder.
She's talking about my cousin, Reggie.
That one is a loser.
He's been job hunting for, like,
three years now, so.
I always put him on my back
to help him and assist him,
so she confuses us, you know.
She thinks he's me and I'm him.
Ah, you know, you're just so sweet.
I know. I am. I'm like that. [laughs]
-[phone chimes]
-One second.
[phone chiming]
Um
I really must run. I'm so sorry.
I have to go. It's, um
It's, um, business. A meeting, actually.
My, um, my Chinese partners,
they're about to back
out of something very big, so.
-I really must run, sorry.
-So I--
[tense music playing]
[clanging]
[sneaky music playing]
[sighs]
What kind of stupid incompetence is that?
Look, no. Don't even say that.
You know what? Your mom would be
ashamed of you right now.
I should have fired you. What kind of
-[sighs]
-Make sure that shit is done.
You dumbass.
[Reggie] What? Do you know what I do
to people that take advantage of me?
[in Yoruba] Are you crazy?
[in English] What nonsense!
Do you really think I got this far
with this kind of incompetence
that you're displaying?
No, no. This is not going to work.
[in Yoruba] Stupid idiot.
No, look. Don't speak.
Don't speak.
[in English] Just keep quiet there.
[in Yoruba] What's your problem, anyway?
[in English] You're a bloody fool.
[in Yoruba] Come,
let me tell you something.
[in English] This thing must be done.
[in Yoruba] All right, wait
I said, wait, just be patient.
[groans]
[sighs]
[fast frantic music playing]
[in Yoruba] Brother, what's going on?
I hear you're looking for me.
Where were you?
[in English] Uh, by the pool.
I was just by the pool.
[laughs] You were by the pool.
-Yes, sir.
-Oh boy, I wish I could be like you.
Hmm. Take a break from life.
[quick exhale]
Uh, so, um, how was your flight?
[huffs] Same as always, you know.
[in Yoruba] You know how it is.
But, man.
[in English] Traveling is tiring.
[in Yoruba] I'm tired of it.
[in English] But I have to catch
another flight tonight.
Ah.
-Yeah.
-[in Yoruba] Brother, you're trying.
[in English] You're really trying.
[in Yoruba] It's not easy now.
[in English] [scoffs] You know
I work hard, Richard.
-I know, I know.
-Hmm.
-[in Yoruba] You should try that someday.
-I'm making the effort.
[laughs]
What about the job thing? How's it going?
[in English] Well, um
Like, I've I've submitted my CV
on, you know, the Internet,
like, you know, that's what
I've been doing with my time.
-Wait. Internet?
-Yeah.
[in Yoruba] What's wrong with you?
On the 'net? Are you a yahoo boy?
[in English] You should be out there, man,
looking for work.
Going office to office.
[in Yoruba] You're not a child.
[in English] It's computer age.
[in Pidgin] Com-, com- what?
-[in English] Everything's on the net.
-Hmm.
Okay. On the net.
So which websites did you go to?
Uh. Plenty now.
Like Linda Ikeji, you know?
-You say?
-Eh, Linda Ikeji. Like Instablog.
Tunde Ednut.
What is that? Linda who?
[in Pidgin] Is it an HR person?
Who? Tunde what?
[in English] Blog?
[in Yoruba] This guy, seems like
it's really yahoo you want to do.
No, no, I don't want to do yahoo.
Gmail or Hotmail.
[groans]
[sniffing]
-Richard!
-Yeah, bro.
[in Yoruba] Please, come here.
Any problem?
Is there any Hope no problem.
[in English] Did you sleep on my bed?
Huh?
You deaf? Did you sleep on my bed?
No, now.
Brother Reggie why would I
why would I sleep on your bed?
Oh, well. Why would a grown-ass man
be living in my house for free?
Which person smells this?
This is Richard, this is you. [sniffs]
[in Pidgin] You want to tell me I'm crazy?
[in English] This is you. I can
This is you.
I can smell you here. This is you.
You slept on my bed.
No, I don't know about crazy, but
This doesn't smell of me now, honestly.
This is your smell.
[in Pidgin] Smell your beard.
-Huh?
-[in Pidgin] Smell your armpit.
Now smell the pillow.
[in Pidgin] Isn't that your smell?
Brother, no, no, no.
[in English] You know what you need to do?
You need to just, first inhale coffee.
Let me just get coffee to clear the smell
in your nose first.
-You are stupid.
-No, honestly--
[in Pidgin] Smell it,
that's a man's smell.
[in Yoruba] Brother, don't act this way.
-This is--
-[in Pidgin] It's you.
Who did you bring here?
So you didn't bring anyone here?
[laughs]
Because it's a man's smell on that pillow.
-Or did you bring a man here?
-Brother, you know me, I like women.
-I don't do men.
-Richard, this whole
This whole place [sniffs]
It's smelling like Richard.
[in English] Now Richard,
go and wash this thing away.
-Smell it.
-No, no, no. This is not me.
[in Yoruba] Brother Reggie,
this is not me. I swear.
[in English] Stupid boy.
[singing in Ga]
[singing in Ga]
Uh-huh.
[in Pidgin] What's the problem?
[in English] I wish
you can ask me that again.
See, I've spent over 40,000 rand,
just to get a work permit.
I don't have the permit,
neither do I have the money.
Neither can I even report that bastard
to the police.
Heh. And I have just less than one week
to live in SA.
I am in trouble.
You're in trouble. "I'm in trouble."
[in Pidgin] Aren't you a man?
[in English] See, my friend,
stop the why are you stressing yourself?
Huh?
-Why do you stress yourself?
-It's easy for you to say.
My brother.
[kisses teeth] See, this country,
we have a lot of ways.
[in Pidgin] We have plenty ways
of getting these kinds of things.
Why do you worry?
[in English] Just find yourself
an SA girl.
Find yourself a South African
beautiful woman.
You got your permit, automatically.
And if you marry her, boom,
automatically you get your permit.
You can do anything. You can marry.
You can, um, chase girls.
You can work.
Anything.
[in Pidgin] If the police see you,
if the police blinks its eye at you,
[clicks tongue] You can tell them
to buzz off.
-[in English] Really?
-Ah. You say, really.
Be stop being slow and find some,
-beautiful lady and marry.
-See, that's the problem.
I can't just marry someone
because of papers.
I can't do that.
Then find some beautiful girl, yeah.
In SA we have a lot of beautiful girls.
Heh. They like foreign guys.
Because of their big penises.
-Hmm.
-Hah. The girls here?
[in Ga] Don't make me talk too much.
[in English] But
I know I'm a foreigner.
I don't have a big Mine is very
[in Pidgin] You don't have?
-No, mine is--
-Hey, stop lying to yourself.
[in English] Every West African man,
has a big penis.
What are you talking about?
We are good in that department.
-Huh.
-Ah.
Wait, do you have a big penis?
-'Cause you--
-Hah, don't. Hey.
[in Pidgin] You don't You shouldn't ask.
Go ask the girls.
[in English] Here, I'll show you.
You know my Me, I get
Really?
Grown-ass men like you,
talking about the sizes of their penises.
Is this what masculinity has come to?
No, uh, sorry.
It wasn't penis we were talking about,
we're talking about pen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe you.
Pen for writing, not penis.
[sighs]
[sighs]
So.
Are you ready to teach me
how to get these rich guys,
[in Zulu] or you want a new roommate?
[in English] [scoffs] Serious?
Great. I'll cry, but my makeup.
-Ah.
-[laughing]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Fly nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
Come and get it baby if you wanna play
Don't get heated
If I make you go on dates
You look so beautiful.
This is perfect. It is perfect.
You are slaying. You are slayage. Now.
Turn around. The slayage starts.
Okay. So the first thing we do,
our hair is always in front of us.
Right? Inches.
Inches. Levels. Okay.
Now, how you get this man
after he sees your inches,
[in Zulu] watch me, okay?
-[in English] Okay.
-Turn around.
Get close to his crotch.
And then you arch your back.
Arch your back a bit.
Arch your back.
Inside, not outside. In. In.
[in Zulu] Like a bath.
Never in my life.
[in English] Grind.
Grind. [louder] Grind.
Come. Turn, turn, turn.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay.
Arch your back.
Arch. Arch.
[in Zulu] I'm hungry.
I can't deal with this right now.
[continues muttering]
[Reggie] [in English] So I guess
I'll see you in about a week's time.
Okay, boss.
Well done.
Safe journey, bro.
There's nothing inside this thing.
[in Yoruba] All right, brother. Okay.
The Lord will be with you.
[laughs] Thank you.
[in English] Ah.
[chuckles]
[kisses teeth]
[upbeat music playing]
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Beauty, beauty.
[laughs] I don't know
what you heard about me.
But you can't get a dollar
Out of me, hah
[chuckles]
That's what I'm talking about. Let's go
down.
[laughs]
Am I girl, what you need
If you need a fat purse
I'm no I ain't making
So, come give me hug
[grunts] [laughs]
You feel me
[groans]
Ha! I'm rocking you tonight, baby.
We're gonna [grunts],
slow wind, baby. Yeah.
So, how long have you been a doctor?
Ten years now.
Wow. That must feel great saving lives.
-I know, tell me about it.
-[woman choking]
[woman] Oh, my word. She's choking.
She needs a doctor.
Please, do something.
Do something. She's choking.
You said you're a doctor. Go help her.
-Um.
-Please!
Yeah.
[tense music playing]
Thank you.
-Yeah. You're welcome.
-Thank you, so much.
You're welcome.
Oh, my God. Thank goodness for you.
[laughs] Well, you know me.
Now, the last step.
You will flaunt your old boobs,
so he can buy you your new boobs. [laughs]
You need to be intriguing to him.
So look him straight in the eye,
then ignore him.
Flaunt your body, baby.
If you're at a club, twerk, swerk,
shake, shake, shake.
[hip-hop music playing]
Slay what we do
We get higher every day
Fly nothing new
Starting fires bay to bay
Come and get it baby if you wanna play
Don't get heated
if I make you go on dates
Like I never get away
And I never lose a game
Nothing more to say hey
Hustle till we break hey
I'm a go, I'm a go
[soft music playing]
[woman] Oh, gosh. [nervous laugh]
Hello.
Hi.
[light music playing]
-Hello.
-Yes, hello, hello.
Can I get your order?
Yes, please, can I have a, a gravy
to go with my dumpling?
Um, I I I'm joking.
Just, just a a a Sprite.
A glass of champagne for me, please.
Will do. Coming right up.
Ch ch champagne?
Yeah.
Oh. In this economy?
[sighs]
Is that your real hair?
-What?
-Is that your real hair?
-Of course it's my real hair.
-[sniffs]
You just never know nowadays. Yes?
[whispers] You never know.
[Reggie] What do you mean, my booking?
I've got a three-hour wait
because of my flight delay.
I'm so sorry, Mr. Reggie.
Let me see what I can do for you.
Don't worry. You know what? I'll just go
to another restaurant and wait.
[in Pidgin] Huh.
What kind of nonsense is this?
[in English] What?
Um, sorry. I'm so sorry about that.
I was, uh,
kind of constipated, you know.
That's what happened. Sorry.
Really. I have to run off.
You know, duty calls.
Just got a As a doctor I have to
But, but don't worry, you can stay.
I'll take care of the bill on my way out.
Bye-bye. Bye. Bye.
So you put your bags down and calm down.
-Okay.
-You can't be seen with anyone. Cos, whoo.
Pop cool lounge. Streets be wild.
[man 1] Ah. Some beautiful angels
we can have some good times with, eh?
[inaudible]
Take a seat. And thank me for that.
Oh, trust me, we do know
how to thank you.
[in Zulu] You're so beautiful.
[clears throat]
[in English] So, ladies, um,
are you girls ready to have a good time?
-Oh, yes.
-Yes. I guess so.
-Oh?
-[man 1] Lovely.
[in Zulu] Hey, sweetie. Will you show me?
[man 1] Hmm.
[in Zulu] So pretty. You all right?
[in English] Yes, I'm fine.
[in Zulu] Then why so quiet?
[in English] I It's just that I don't
have much to say.
[in Zulu] Are you afraid of me?
[in English] No.
I I just don't like being touched.
[in Zulu] A prostitute who doesn't like
to be touched?
[in English] Excuse me?
What did you call me?
I called you what you are.
[in Zulu] What did you come here for?
[laughs] Nothing
is going to happen here today.
Hey, then what are we doing here?
-Hey.
-Relax, we can still have a good time.
[in English] Da, just leave me
the hell alone.
Guys, guys. Take it easy. Take it easy.
You're fine. You're fine.
It's all right. It's okay.
Yeah.
So.
What's a girl like, so beautiful,
doing on Tinder?
Well, it is the way to go
these days. Right?
I know.
You found the one now. You can get off.
Just get off.
I mean, not, not get off, get off.
I mean, the app. You can get off the app.
Just delete it. Just
Sorry, sorry.
-No. It's fine.
-Oh, yeah.
Hmm. You must taste this. Try.
No, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm okay.
-I ate.
-Hmm, okay.
You're not gonna finish this one?
No, you can have it.
-Hey, guys.
-Oh.
-Here's your bill.
-Yeah?
-Bill.
-Ah, my hands are Can you just
-Yeah. Pass, pass.
-What?
My, my hands are dirty. Just
Yep. Yep.
Thank you.
Is this beef?
Uh. I Oh.
-[farts]
-Oh!
Yeah, I'm lactose intolerant.
-[farts]
-Ew!
Excuse me. Uh. Bathroom.
[grunts, farts]
[coughs]
Hi, guys.
Hey. Hey!
[shouting]
[fast-paced music playing]
Hey. Hey! Where are you going?
-Is he coming back?
-I don't know.
Well I'm sorry,
but you're gonna have to pay the bill.
Woman. Fuck.
-Ah.
-Aha.
Hey!
-Thank you.
-Thank you, so much.
Hey. So sorry. Do you work here?
Um, yes sir.
Ah you're pretty.
I mean, what do you do
when you're not at work?
So normally, I work here.
And the rest of the time
I like resting at home.
Could I
take you out some time?
Can I have your numbers?
[soft laugh]
-Where are you from?
-Alex.
-Just down the road here.
-Yeah.
-Right.
-Yeah.
Please. You really need to step on it.
Step on the throttle, I beg of you.
My friend, you're even crawling
below the speed limit.
I should have just gotten
a tortoise to drive me home.
What are you doing a U-turn for?
It's right here. It's right here.
Stop, stop, stop.
Here. I'm not gonna give you any star.
[jazzy music playing]
[Richard] Hi.
Where's Reggie?
He left hours ago.
No, no, no, no. I saw him earlier.
Yeah, but Oh! He left this for you.
Thank god.
That that means he's left already.
[sighs] Yeah.
Move.
Man whore.
[man in Zulu] Your thighs are so white,
it's like they're made of snow.
[in English] Relax. Relax.
Relax.
-[exhales]
-Hey. Hey.
-[in Zulu] Slow down.
-What's the matter?
She's never done this before,
she's nervous.
[man] Can I get you champagne?
[Penny in English] Be cool, friend.
You're cool. Okay. Slay.
[man in Zulu] Just give me one kiss.
Or do you want cash up front?
[in English] Yo, man.
I think she's saying leave her alone.
Who the fuck are you?
What the fuck do you want?
[man grunts]
[man] Why were you there?
Oh, great. Now you're judging me too?
I'm not judging. I was there too.
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, what was I doing
with those disgusting men?
I'm not.
Do you know what?
You wouldn't understand. Okay?
You're just a driver.
You get told where to go and get paid.
Why do rich men have to be such assholes?
-Ouch.
-What's your problem?
I'm just listening.
Yeah. I bet that's what you do
when Clive tells you what to do.
Actually
Clive is my older brother,
so he kind of, has the right to.
Your brother?
Clive is my brother and I'm not a driver.
[soft music playing]
[sighs]
[woman] What the hell
is wrong with men? Really?
What did this one do now?
Oh, friend. It's getting crazy now.
No, but who invites you on a date
and then runs away from paying the bill?
Oh. Guys.
Maybe he was looking for free food.
Like you.
Shut up.
[laughs]
No, seriously.
This is really getting out of hand.
I know.
[in Zulu] I'm sorry, friend.
[in English] Sorry.
We need to get them back.
We have to get them back.
We must get them back.
We will get them back.
And we're gonna start
with that bastard, Richard.
[in Zulu] That rubbish.
Hmm!
[in English] I didn't say
I'm a driver. You did.
-Yeah, but you could've told me the truth.
-Why?
-You were having so much fun.
-I'm serious. Why would you lie like that?
What?
You're not, like, happy I have money?
That's not
that's not all the matters. Okay?
Well, sometimes it seems like it is.
Well, not to everyone.
Like, I thought it would help
find a real woman.
[scoffs] How ironic.
So you lied to find a real woman.
-Well, that's clever.
-Now what does that mean?
I don't know what it means.
Okay? I need time to make sense of it all.
I don't even know if I can trust you.
Don't say that.
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, my god.
-You did it.
-Told you, man.
-How did you manage to get--
-I'm the king of this city.
Look at this one.
-This city's mine.
-Oh, my god.
Oh, god. That's my party. That's my party.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh.
Hi, mama. [laughs]
Whoo! Oh, oh, oh.
-Hey. Hey. Hey!
-What?
Hey. Charlie.
-Charlie?
-Charlie. [shouting]
[Emmanuelle] Steady. Don't move.
Don't move! Oh! Steady.
[in Twi] Hey, catch him!
[in English] Thief! Hold it. Hold it.
Thief. Hold it!
-Thief. He's stolen my money.
-[screaming]
[screaming and yelling]
Help!
[Emmanuelle] Thief! Stop him.
-Hey!
-[cheers]
[sneaky music playing]
[in Zulu] Hey, you.
Why are you looking at me strangely?
Because you do strange things.
At your age.
-[in English] Excuse me?
-Do you know how young that boy is?
This one. This is what I'm talking about.
-[laughs]
-[in Zulu] What's so funny?
[in English] You should be
ashamed of yourself.
You have no sense of decency.
[in Zulu] Do you realize
how much younger he is than you?
[in English] And you're busy
cradle snatching him.
He should be running
after sexy girls like me.
[in Zulu] And not grannies like you.
What's so sexy about you, tomboy?
Whatever.
[English] And then did you know
that he sleeps with girls
and he throws them out the next day?
[in Zulu] Listen to me. Firstly,
I don't sleep with young boys.
That boy is not by Ben10.
He's my nephew.
[playful music playing]
-Really, ma'am?
-Mm-mm.
Sorry.
[in English] It's just that
he did my friend so wrong, ma'am.
[in Zulu] He really did her wrong.
[in English] And now
she's depressed, ma'am.
[in Zulu] What did he do to her?
[clicks tongue]
Like I mentioned, ma'am.
[in English] He picks up girls,
he sleeps with them,
and he throws them out,
just like that, the next day.
But why does she allow herself
[in Zulu] Why does she allow men
to sleep with her?
[in English] She's looking for a husband.
[in Zulu] Ah. Disaster.
From that dog? Good luck.
But I don't understand.
How does he accomplish all that,
while he's living
under his brother's roof?
Really?
[in English] Are you saying
that house is not his?
All those things are not his?
[in Zulu] Listen to me.
[in English] That boy
is a good-for-nothing.
[in Zulu] That parasite
is jobless and broke.
[in English] So his brother
doesn't even know
that he's using his house,
his cars, and his clothes to attract girls
so he can sleep with them?
Girls who are like that, like your friend,
[in Zulu] who believe that house
belongs to him.
[in English] Wow.
[in Zulu] He is broke, he has nothing.
Now I know why he was acting
so weirdly at the restaurant.
-Was that in Midrand?
-Yes.
Yes, that sounds just like him.
That guy
[in English] He needs
to be taught some sort of lesson.
A good one.
[in Zulu] How can I help?
-Tell me, how can I help?
-[laughs]
I'm glad you asked, ma'am.
I have a plan. I'll tell you.
-[in English] Hi.
-Hello.
-I got you a flower.
-Aw.
You and Emmanuelle are both so sweet.
Thank you.
-Emmanuelle?
-Yes.
Come in. Come.
-Emmanuelle?
-Mmm-mm.
[huffs]
[soft playful music playing]
-Baby.
-Hello.
How are you?
-What are you doing here?
-Can we help you?
-[Richard] Hmm.
-[woman laughs]
-Very yummy.
-Oh, how handsome are you?
Ooh!
Coming from a lady looking like you,
that's quite a compliment, I must say.
Look at that, all fleshy and sweet.
Look, I know it's kinda early, but--
Too early to party?
It's never too early to party.
I like that. Turn around. Give me some
Um, can I use the restroom?
Yeah, sure.
-[laughs]
-Right there.
-Don't miss me too much.
-I'll try not to.
[sneaky music playing]
-[Richard] What are you doing?
-Oh! [laughs]
Waiting for you.
Do you wanna get kinky?
-Oh, wow.
-Do you want me to lick you all over?
Yeah, you can tell how I want it,
don't you?
-[laughing]
-[woman growls]
Slow down, baby.
-[woman growls]
-Don't get all tiger on me now.
Where is this woman?
Oh, um, Delilah!
Oga just called.
He said he's coming next week.
Okay.
Okay? Just like that?
Normally, when I ask you what is it,
you give me millions of answers.
Today, okay?
I'm just thinking about my life.
Is this what we have to do for men?
-What do you mean?
-Men always want something from you.
Even if they give you the world,
they still expect you
to give them your soul.
And who wants that? Lucifer.
The devil.
Not once. Not once will they ever ask
what we women want.
[laughs] [in Ga] Listen to her.
[in English] Stop bothering your head.
[in Pidgin] Don't keep suffering.
Men will be selfish.
[in English] You see, men, you people,
the people you call men,
we are very selfish. You see God,
we say, he's a man.
God is selfish. Why?
He created the world alone.
See Satan. We say, he's a man.
He is destroying the world. Alone.
We are selfish. That is how the world is.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Give me kinky.
Give it to me, baby. Give me that kinky.
[groans] I love kinky.
Love me kinky. [crazy laughing]
Shut up. You are going to stop
bringing girls
to a place that is not yours.
What are you talking about?
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
-Stop, stop, stop.
-Shut up!
-Stop it!
-Shut up!
You are going to explain this to your boss
or whatever the hell he is.
-Stop taking those pictures.
-[camera clicks]
Look. What do you want?
What do you want? Tell me.
-I want you
-[camera clicks]
-to confess.
-[camera clicks]
And tell everybody,
-what you really are.
-[camera clicks]
[fast-paced music playing]
[Richard] James, James, James.
Don't let that bitch go.
Get that bitch. Get her! Get her!
-Get her for me. James!
-Hey.
[excited shouts]
[Richard] Don't let that bitch go.
[in Pidgin] Oga, this is a big one.
-[yells]
-[laughing]
-[in English] Hi, babe.
-Hi. Come in. Come in.
How are you doing?
-I'm fine, thank you.
-Ah, you look lovely.
-Thanks.
-I can't believe we've gotten here.
Yeah.
-Oh, I mean, about us. The connection.
-[knock on door]
-Oh.
-You look lovely in this dress,
-by the way.
-Thanks, thanks.
-Hold on a minute.
-Okay. Don't worry.
I'll be here.
-[Dot Kom] Hey, baby.
-Hi.
My baby, baby, baby
God. God. What have I done
to deserve this?
-What are you doing here?
-What am I doing here?
I was invited.
-[Delilah] Mmm-mm.
-I was invited too. Wait.
What is this all about?
-It's not nice, huh?
-No, it's not.
I could see what both of you were up to.
Flowers and all.
Am I a prize here?
Is there a competition on
that I know nothing about?
I'll tell you what it is.
He likes you because he wants papers.
Yes. He wants papers.
Emmanuelle, is that true?
You're a traitor.
[gasps] Dot Kom doesn't own that house.
-[screams]
-He's just the houseboy.
-[Delilah] Dot Kom, is that true?
-Um, um, I'm a proxy owner.
Oh, don't talk rubbish.
What does that mean?
That is just another way
of him saying, houseboy.
-You're a houseboy.
-What have I done to this boy?
What have I done? Did I do bad
bringing you from the village
to South Africa, put a roof
over your stinky head.
-Have I done anything wrong?
-Where's my money?
They're scammers.
They scammed two of us.
-Idiot.
-[Delilah] Both of you,
get out of here. Now.
-Listen to her.
-Get out.
-Get out.
-Get out. Get out.
-Both of you, I said.
-You see what you've caused.
-Yeah, both of you.
-[arguing]
Get out. Get out. I said, get out!
-Stop spitting on me.
-It is not
-Stop spitting on me.
-That was my own spit.
Delilah.
-Can you get
-Get out of here. Both of you.
-Out, out, out.
-I'll see you tomorrow?
No, never. Out of here. Both of you.
-[Dot Kom] Delilah!
-[Emmanuelle] Delilah.
[sigh]
Two wannabe slay kings.
[scoffs]
[upbeat music playing]
If you wanna talk about us
You can tell your friends
All your best, yeah
I don't wanna talk about it
[sighs]
[Penny] Hello.
[man] Lerato. Can I talk to you?
I'm I'm really sorry.
I mean, I I I thought
I had it all planned out,
but it was stupid and didn't work.
I really care about you.
How do I know
you're not pretending right now?
Really? With all these flowers?
Flowers are nothing to a rich man.
Ooh!
My time is.
And I chose to spend it with you.
Look.
All I need is a chance
to prove to you that I'm not the man
that you thought I am.
Please.
It's so cute.
Okay.
[ululating]
[Lerato] But I think
we need to go somewhere else.
-I agree.
-[Penny laughs]
Hey, girl. Are you ready
for mission Payback?
What? What?
-Sending the photo.
-Of what?
Ah. To Richard.
-Oh!
-Yes.
-[laughs]
-Send.
All right, then. Action.
My name is Chriselda.
I'm 77 years old.
[in Zulu] I'm from deep rural Nquthu.
[in English] No, mama.
[in Zulu] Not like that.
[in English] You must sound
like you know Richard, personally.
-Oh.
-Yes?
-Okay.
-[in Zulu] Okay. Let's start again.
-[in English] Action.
-[clears throat]
[in Zulu] I was the one
who changed Richard's diapers.
Up until the age of 12,
he used to wet his pants.
[laughs]
-Whoo.
-[in Zulu] You know
-[laughs]
-I cleaned his underpants.
Tiny pee-pee, but massive testicles.
Traditional healers couldn't
give him medicine to make it grow.
-Nothing.
-[laughing]
I took him to Venda,
where there's a tree with growth potion.
But still nothing.
You should have seen him,
sticking it into every tree he could find.
Nothing.
[laughing]
Hey, mama. Go on. Go on.
He owns nothing. No bike, no house.
It's all a figment of his imagination.
Yes. And cut.
Thank you, ma'am.
-No, man. What is it?
-Thank you.
Thank you, mama, for helping my friend.
You two, so desperate for pee-pees.
[phone chiming]
[sighs]
Hello, guys. Um
My name is Richard and um
I wanna tell you all that
everything I've been posting
on social media has
-completely not been true.
-[laughing]
[Richard] I've lied about who I am,
and what I am.
[cheers]
But you know what?
[dramatic drumbeats]
[clicks tongue]
It's not over.
[laughs]
I hope that helps.
When you get your blesser,
get your money, get paid.
We love you, boo. Love you.
From me, Penny. I love you so much.
I hope you enjoyed the channel.
See you next time.
And remember. Slay, bitches.
Or you get eliminated.
Lerato!
Lerato!
Your turn, babe.
[soft music playing]
[man] Are you ready for your new home?
Our new home.
No more rent.
No more rent.
Lot of the days myself I'm raising
Because money's such a hole
And you know I'm going places
On this road to riches
Seen so many faces
But yours is the only one
I know is worth chasing
Yeah so I'm gonna run to your love
Then run to you in the morning
Run to your love
Then run to you in the morning
Running ya-ya-ya
Running ya-ya-ya
Run to your love
Then run to you in the morning