Slotherhouse (2023) Movie Script

[sinister music playing]
[jungle birds chirping]
[sloth snuffling]
[tranquil music playing]

[mewls, grunts]
-[sloth shrieks]
-[water splashing]
[unsettling music playing]
[intense music playing]
[sloth squeals]
[epic orchestral music playing]


[music intensifies]
Oh, my God.
Dude, I can't believe
that was us four years ago.
So excited to start college.
Man, their dreams
are gonna get crushed.
Oh, my God. I am ready for
the best year of my life.
-Are you?
-[Brianna] Vote for me!
-You been listening?
-I was just--
-Oh, come on.
Why do you do this to yourself?
Seriously, I mean--
Look, who cares
if you're never president
of your sorority
or you don't have
millions of followers?
Okay? You have friends.
I'd rather have both,
wouldn't you?
Look, Brianna's rich,
and she takes
amazing pictures and videos
all over the world,
and people like that, but...
it doesn't mean
they actually like her.
Ugh. Another time.
-I've gotta get more books.
-Okay, yeah.
-I'll see you back at the house.
-Oh! Before you go.
-Come on.
[camera shutter clicks]
-All right. I'll see you.
-[dog barking]
-[shopper] Come back!
No, bad dog! Bad dog!
-[barking continues]
-[kid cheering]
[kid] Whee!
-[Emily grunts]
-Dog person, I presume?
Oh, yeah, well...
I just don't like
seeing animals get hurt.
-Oh, he's super cute, right?
-[dog whines happily]
[Oliver] Yeah.
Looks like
she would need a new home,
or a new friend?
[chuckles] I wish, but... yeah,
I don't think my sorority
wants a new puppy
running around.
-Yeah. So, no puppies?
-No, no, puppies.
-Oh, my God, thank you so much.
-It's okay.
you can't run away like this.
-Thank you.
If that photo goes viral
I would just need the credit.
Yeah. What's your tag?
-[Emily chuckles]
oh, my God.
Oh, that is so cute.
What is that?
[chuckles] That's a sloth.
-They're really that slow?
-Maybe they just tricked us all.
But they make amazing pets,
you know.
Nowadays, people are
doing all kinds of things
just to make
their social numbers up.
If you have an amazing pet,
it's a huge influence.
Maybe I could sell you that one.
-What do you think?
-What? No. Where?
If you're interested, stop by.
Yeah, I-- I don't think so. I--
If you change your mind,
think about it.
And remember, sloths,
they-- they really move fast.
[Emily chuckles]
Move like water
when I drip on 'em
Move slick on 'em,
it's a gift, it's a gift
I got all eyes watchin'
soon as I show up
Bringin' my glow-up
Yeah, you know what it is
Shiny like a new thing,
I'm your Cleopatra
Say you like my move,
thank God I didn't ask ya
Hi, Brianna.
-It's so good to have you back.
So I've been getting
everyone's information
-like you asked me to--
-Uh, who even are you again?
I was on the sorority board
with you last year.
Yeah, no, see, that's sus,
because that couldn't have
been you, 'cause anyone on the
board would know you should be
handing out my re-election
flyers to the freshmen.
-But-- but I never got them.
-No, no. So, that's a lie.
They're on my socials.
I'm sure you follow me, right?
-Okay, great. So print
those off, Danielle,
so the house doesn't end up
hating you like Morgan.
She's the worst. But, like,
we're gonna be BFFs this year.
So, I high-key missed you
this summer.
Oh, my God.
What are you even wearing?
What is that,
a vintage boiler suit
or a Jiffy Lube uniform?
Like, I can't even tell.
I'm obsessed.
Oh, my God, I missed you.
Are all the supplies ready
for opening weekend?
-[Brianna] Rush?
-Election night?
no one has ever been elected
for three years in a row.
This is very special to us.
Please don't ruin it.
How many am I winning by?
Well, no one else
is running, so...
So, uh, you didn't even
bother getting a count?
You know what
would be even better?
If you did!

We dance to the song
-[Gabby] All right, girls.
-[Chloe] Left.
My left.
Alissa, put some back into this.
[Brianna] There!
-Oh, perf! Just perf.
-[both giggling]
Excuse me,
I got a blood sport to watch.
-What up, Chlo?
Oh, yeah, it's fight night!
Come on!
[TV announcer] ...fight
Jimmy Gable's wrestling...
What the eff, yo?
It's a sorority, not a frat, yo.
Okay, genius. You know you
spelled "president" wrong, yo.
-What? Dakota, no! Isn't it--
-[Zenny] What, you gonna
-graduate from "collage"? Idiot!
-[Brianna screams] Alissa!
What? What?
Girls! Who wants snacks?
[Brianna] Oh, my God!
Ms. Mayflower.
-Hi, Brianna.
-[Brianna] Hey.
They're paleo,
so there is some cucumber
-and some carrot-- Oh.
-Salty nuts, Miss May! Yeah!
-Thank you.
-Uh, I hope--
Gross! Who makes
dirty martinis anymore?
Ugh. Grandma. Alissa!
Yeah, Brianna?
-Why are you ruining my life?
-[Chloe] Oh, thanks.
-[Chloe] Sarah, come on!
-[Sarah exclaims]
-Hi, Brianna! Hi!
-[Brianna] Come on! Hustle!
-[Dakota] Hey, guys.
-Hey. Sorry.
-[sighs] Geez.
Hey. Relax.
Dummy spelled "president" wrong.
[light music playing]
[panting, grunting]
Senior aisle.
-We made it.
-[Zenny] Man, I swear to God,
those last flight of stairs,
I felt my left arm go numb.
-[Emily chuckles]
-[Zenny grunts]
-[all panting]
-[Zenny grunts]
These have been
the best years of my life.
And we only have
one left together.
I'm so lucky
to call you both sisters.
-Aw. [chuckles] Come on.
-[Madison] Oh, come here.
Ah, thank you for
helping me with my stuff.
Yeah, uh,
you got too much of it.
-Way too much stuff, yeah.

That's a headache
you don't need, okay?
Brianna's gonna win anyway.
She's meaner than you.

[distant student chatter]
[Emily] Why is the window open?
[window clicks shut]
-[Tyler shouts]
-[Tyler] Oh!
-Oh my God, Tyler?
[Zenny shouting]
-[Emily screaming]
-[Tyler groans]
-[Emily] Oh, my God!
-[Zenny screaming]
Zenny, Zenny, Zenny!
It's Tyler, it's Tyler!
-It's Tyler!
-[Zenny] Oh!
Oh, you're Tyler! My bad.
Um, I'ma give you two a minute.
-[Tyler gasps]
[Tyler panting]
-[door shuts]
-I brought you flowers.
[Emily] Oh, thank you!
-[Tyler grunts]
-Oh, God.
-Are you okay?
[Emily] How did you get in here?
I climbed up.
Romantic, right?
Yeah. Very. Oh, come here.
[tender music playing]
[footsteps approaching]
[slurred] A lot of good women
wore crowns.
Princess Diana.
Cinderella, Princess Jasmine,
Princess Moana, Elsa.
They're mostly fictional.
Ooh, and Queen Cersei.
Although she was kinda terrible,
killed a lot of people.
My mom.
What was she like as president?
She definitely
didn't kill anyone.
Does the crown look like
it's talking to you?
Uh, my mom? [chuckles]
Was she nice?
-Or was she like...
She led by example.
She was-- she was fun.
She studied hard. Oh!
One time she organized
a 24-hour hug-a-thon,
where we hugged homeless people
as a fundraiser.
Although we didn't raise
very much, though,
because a lot of the girls
threw up from the smell,
which just made the smell worse,
you know, and the--
So in the end, we just
bought them some sandwiches.
Your mom,
she was-- she was kind.
Everything a good president
should be.
Hmm. Somethin' we need
to get back to.
Yeah, well, you might have to
wait another year for kind.
[Mayflower] It's too bad.
I thought maybe you were
thinking about running.
[chuckles] Against Brianna?
And have every sister
turn on me my senior year?
-Might be surprised.
Sometimes you just
need one spark,
something that sets you apart.
No one ever regrets trying.

[monkey chattering]
[sinister music playing]

[sloth croaking softly]
-[cage rattles]
-[sloth grunts]
[other animals chattering]
they drugged the hell
out of you.
What would happen if
I don't give you these pills?
-[whispers] Hey.
-[sloth grumbles]
[pensive music playing]
[phone chimes]

[Oliver sighs]
Let's have a look.
-[sloth coos]
Ain't you a cute one.
-[sloth croaking]
[Oliver chuckles]
Let's take a walk.
[eerie music playing]
-[flesh squelches]
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey.
Watch your claws, buddy.
-[sloth screeching]
-[Oliver screams]
[sloth shrieking]
[sloth snarls]
-[Oliver screaming]
-[sloth shrieking]
[flesh squelching, tearing]
[intriguing music playing]


[Emily] Hello?
Anybody home?
[birds chirping]
[monkey chattering]
[tense music playing]
[suspenseful chord]
Oh. Okay, baby.
Oh, come here.
[sloth cooing]
Come on. [grunts]
That's it.
It's okay. You look scared.
-[animal roaring]
-[sloth whimpers]
All right, let's go. Let's go.
You're safe.
Let's get out of here.
[animal roaring]
by Meg & Dia playing]
Brianna, hey! This is Ava.
She just got
her official bid offer.
Hi! [laughs]
Ava's mom is a circuit judge.
-Oh, my God! Wonderful!
[Brianna] We can't wait to have
you as a new sister. True!
-Oh, my God, come on.
-Say "Sigma Lambda Theta!"
-Sigma Lambda Theta!
[laughs] Aww, cute.
Okay, come on.
I'll show you around.
Hey, Bri...
Ew. What's even wrong
with your face right now?
Well, uh...
[engine rumbling]
[gentle music playing]
Don't be scared.
I'm gonna get you home, okay?
[sloth squeaks]
-[militaristic music playing]
-[Brianna] You can talk now.
-It's Emily.
I think she's gonna
run against you.
Oh, my God, dumpster person.
If Emily runs,
it won't be unanimous.
And that means
we have a divided house.
Alissa's parents split up.
I'm not gonna let that tragedy
happen to my sorority.
You don't want
a divided house, do you?
Oh, my God. Emily!
So low-key,
I didn't know you were--
I don't wanna talk right now.
Okay, that's a choice.
Don't you walk away from me!
Hey! What's in the box?
-No, no, no. Brianna!
-[Brianna] Yo, box it!
[Emily] It is-- No, Brianna!
Please don't! Don't, don't--
-[Emily gasps]
-[sloth groans]
-[Mayflower] Is everything okay?
[sloth croaking]
[girl] Oh, my God.
[mystical music playing]
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, oh, oh.
Move, excuse me, excuse me.
Oh, my God. [gasps]
What the hell is wrong with you?
Oh, my God.
Come on, little cutie.
Hey, no one's gonna hurt you.
[girl] Can I pet him?
-[girls murmuring excitedly]
-[sloth warbles]
What is that?
[excited murmuring]
[girl] So sweet.
[murmuring continues]
[hushed chatter]
You can't keep that here.
The house rules say no pets.
I wanted to introduce it
as the new house mascot.
-[all gasping]
-[Brianna] You can't.
It's in the rules. No pets.
Actually, Chapter 11,
Section 18, paragraph five:
"Pets may be authorized
as mascots of the house
with a majority approval,
if called for a vote."
Yeah, so, I'ma call a vote
for the bear thing
-to be the new house mascot!
I second the vote. [giggles]
-Okay, all those in favor.
-[girl] Yes! Please!
-[Gabby] And those opposed.
[Zenny coughing] Loser. Loser.
Well, looks like we have
a new adorable mascot!
-[all cheering]
You're so clipped.
Oh, and also,
I would like to announce
that I will be running
for house President.
[all] ...Lambda Theta!
Am I so clipped?
I said I will never change
Got your head up
in the clouds now
There you go.
[door creaks open]
Why do you have a three-toed
sloth hanging from your loft?
Uh, it's our mascot?
-Our mascot.
-It's cute!
Where did you get
our-- our cute mascot?
You know what?
I don't wanna know.
You're sending it back.
I can't.
Oh, my God, Em.
You bought a poached animal?
Uh, I-- I didn't buy it.
Oh! Okay, yeah! Well.
[sarcastic laugh] That's better.
I mean, what some girls
will do for an exotic pet.
-It's a wild animal, Em.
Look, some asshole poached
this poor thing from its home
so you can have a cute, probably
parasite-riddled plaything
to help you get popular.
It-- it needs baths, okay?
You don't know
how to care for it.
You probably don't even
know what it eats.
Well, it looks like
it likes flowers.
These could be poisonous to it.
-[sloth snarl]
-[Madison exclaims, groans]
Look, Em.
You don't have the right
to go up to a wild animal
and pet it,
much less pluck it from its home
for your amusement.
It is a wild animal, Emily.
Send it back.
Or would you just do anything
for these people to like you?
-[Emily groans]
That's real mad, yo.
[militaristic music playing]
Who knew about the sloth?

You did this.
[scoffs] Me?
[mocking] "Me, WTF?"
You seconded the vote, potato.
Well, you're gonna un-second it.
Um, okay. How?
Get rid of the sloth.
[sloth cooing]
I think it's dope, yo.
[Emily groans]
Maybe I should
get her back somehow.
I don't know, call the shelter?
Maybe Madison's right.
Hey, hey, maybe she is not.
You know people
started a hashtag?
[Zenny] You're gonna be famous.
[Zenny laughs]
You're gonna be,
like, rich people famous.
You're gonna be an influencer.
You're gonna be--
you're gonna be rich
for just havin'
an opinion or whatever.
You know what? Screw school.
You can give Slothy
that good life, you know?
And-- and-- and she can munch on
as many flowers as she wants,
just, like,
chillin' by your pool,
and not having to worry about,
like, crocodiles and shit.
Yo, think about it. Okay.
Domestication happens
over a set of years, right?
It's, like, revolutionary
selection and shit.
You-- you don't hear
dogs complaining.
[chuckles] In the jungle?
She's food.
She's like a beta, yo.
But out here?
Ah. She's an alpha.
-Yeah, alpha.
Like our mascot, yo.
[chuckles] Alpha!
You wanna be our Alpha?
-[sloth coos]
-Yeah, Alpha!
Oh! Oh. Almost forgot.
I found these in the crowd.
"Ocho horas."
Anyways, it's something
about a-- a warning.
It needs to take these pills.
Something, uh,
about anxiety, isn't it?
-[knocking on door]
-Come in!
Hi. [gasps]
Oh, my God.
There's the little gal!
-So cute.
-We've named her Alpha.
OMG, that is so cute!
Can I pet her?
-Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, of course!
-[sloth whining]
-Um, Sarah?
Thank you for
seconding the vote.
Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
A lot of people are
really excited about Alpha.
[chuckles] And you.
Have you looked outside?
-Come on.
["Lose Our Minds" by
Joseph Yeshua Gileadi playing]
They all wanna rush Sigma.
Oh, my God.
Tonight is gonna be
one hell of a party.
[laughs] Yo!
Party till we lose our minds
Hey, honey, yeah
Whatcha gonna do with me?
Whatcha gonna do tonight?
[music continues faintly]
[ominous music playing]
Hi. Hey. [chuckles]
Ooh, okay.
Here you go.
Hey. [chuckles]
You got a new family here,
Alpha. Okay?
A bigger family than you
could ever have back home.
[sloth chattering]
[mischievous music playing]
[sloth croaking]

-[girls laughing]
-[Emily] Cheers.
-Is it always this fun?
Yeah, always.
I would kill to get a bid.
Oh, my God, great.
Get rid of the furry geriatric.
[girl] Oh, my-- Look,
she brought-- Oh, she's super--
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, my God. This is insane.
I'm, like, super lit
you're running for President.
-We needed it.
-These girls are loving it.
-Next President, I could see it.
Oh, my God. She's so cute.
-[laughs] Can I hold her?
-Yeah, sure.
[sloth chattering]
Oh, my-- I'm, like, heart horny.
So, seriously, everyone
fricking loves you right now.
Those girls are
total stans for you.
They wanna meet you, and they're
all interested in rushing.
Them? Well, yeah, I'd love to.
Work before play,
Miss President.
Let's go. Campaign.
-Can you watch out for her?
-No big deal.
Sloth stole my girlfriend.
[sloth cooing]
[all chanting] Chug,
chug, chug, chug, chug!
-[guy] Yeah!
-[girls screaming]
[thunder rumbling]
[overlapping chatter]
[thunder rumbling]
[sloth whimpering]
No, come on,
don't look at me like that.
Ugh, I have...
I'm sorry.
[sloth whimpers]
But it's you or me.
[thunder rumbling]
[sloth cooing]
[dramatic music playing]
[rain pattering]
[upbeat music playing]
[overlapping chatter]
meany... [laughs]
...miny, moe.
-[thunder rumbling]
-[sloth groaning]
[dramatic music playing]
Catch a tiger by his toe.
-[Sarah laughing]
-[sloth growling]
If he hollers...
[chuckles] ...let him go.
-[engine rumbling]
-[sloth screaming]
Oops. [laughs]
You wait right there, tiger.
I'll be right back. [snorts]
[boyfriend] Fine.
[dramatic music playing]
[muffled pop music playing]
[tense music playing]
-[liquid hissing]
-[Sarah] There you are.
Hel-- help.
[sloth growls]
-[flesh squelches]
[Sarah chokes, groans]
[Brianna] Emmers! Where's Alpha?
-Oh, um, uh... with Sarah?
-Oh, my God, no.
She came back inside
without that thing.
It'd be a shame
if our new mascot
got struck by lightning.
I know, right? I'm awful.
But you're a clout-chasing slut
that's all glowed up.
But we're sisters,
and I love you.
-[thunder booms]
-[all shrieking, giggling]
Alpha! Hey, hey, hey!
Have you seen Alpha?
[solemn music playing]
[whimpering] Alpha! Alpha!
[door creaking]
[thunder rumbling]
[sloth croaking]
[chilling tone]
[chuckles] There you are, Alpha.
I've been looking for you.
[sloth croaks]
Hey, were you scared?
How did you get up here?
You're faster
than people think, huh?
Well, rest up, Alpha,
it is gonna be a busy few weeks.
Okay, girls, let's dodgeball.
On Alpha's whistle.
-Three, two, one!
-[whistle blows]
["Gimme More More"
by Laura-Mary Carter playing]
[girl] Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
[excited shouting]
I gotta get out of this city
I'm so bored of
being so pretty
Take a selfie.
Might be something
that I can't fight
Don't forget, everyone,
vote for Emily.
Gimme more, gimme more, more,
gimme more, gimme more, more
Gimme more, gimme more, more
Where-- where are they going?
Text the photo.
Get in the photo.
Too sweet, catch me
I will tell you
what I can see
Watch out, stay clear
I'm getting outta here
[excited shouting]
-[girls screaming]
-[ball pops]
-[air hissing]
-[sloth warbling]
Gimme more, gimme more, more,
gimme more, gimme more, more
Gimme more, gimme more, more
Gimme more,
gimme more, gimme more

Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
-[sloth grumbling]
Gimme more, gimme more, more
[sloth grumbles]


[sloth croaks]
Gimme more, gimme more, more,
gimme more, gimme more, more
Gimme more, gimme more, more
Gimme more, gimme more, more
[excited shouting]
-Is that sloth poop?
Hey, hey
[girls shrieking]
[girls cheering]
Gimme more, gimme more, more,
gimme more, gimme more, more
[chanting] Alpha, Alpha, Alpha!
[music stops]
[phone chimes]
[Brianna] Em!
Thanks. [chuckles]
[Mayflower] Okay, girls.
Sigma Lambda Theta!
[all] Sigma Lambda Theta!
[laughter fades]

Damn, your color
is better than mine, yo.
[sloth croaks]
[Madison] Wow.
Good use of water.
It's the best, yo.
It's like moths to a flame.
Any minute now,
a group of freshies
are gonna walk on by,
and they gon' get in my pool.
[pop music playing over stereo]
Right. That makes sense.
[sloth croaks]
My last Coptimus Prime!
You are bold, ma'am.


Hey. Mind, uh, watching
Mrs. Hot Claws over there
while I go get another beer?
[squeals] Let's get
our swimsuits, guys.
-I didn't bring a swimsuit.
-Borrow one of mine.
Moths to a flame. [chuckles]
Wait, wait, coming. Yes, okay.

I'm gonna get you home.
[Emily] Hey. What are you doing?
Are you stealing my sloth?
She isn't really your sloth.
-No, she's the house mascot.
-She belongs in the wild, Em.
And if you
don't have the courage
to do the right thing, then...
I'm taking her to a shelter.
-[Madison] No?
-[Madison] Em!
No, hey, give her to me!
Give her--
No, Em, you're gonna hurt her!
Hey, I need it!
[Madison] Wow.
Em, you-- you should be
ashamed of yourself, okay?
I mean, this isn't you, Em.
Maybe-- maybe you wanted to be,
maybe it's fun,
and it feels good.
But it isn't you.
[phone clatters]
Election's tonight.
[sentimental music playing]
-Don't go--
-[Emily screams]
She's lucky. We'll know more
when we get her MRI,
though, okay?
-Hey, she's in good hands.
-Thank you.

Ms. May, Ms. May.
Yo, is she okay?
Is she gonna be okay?
She's gonna be okay,
I think they're
gonna run some tests.
-They're gonna do an MRI, and--
-Where is Em?
-Em is with her sister.
-Okay, so can we go see them
-or-- or what?
-Em's gonna update us
from the hospital, okay?
So you come inside with me
and I'll explain everything,
[somber instrumental playing]
What's the count?
[heart monitor beeping]
[Emily] I'm so sorry.
Hey, hey, hey,
no, it's okay, it's okay.
I really am sorry.
You, Zenny,
you've always just...
known who you are.
Where you're going,
what you wanna do.
Our senior year.
[voice breaks]
And our last one together.
[sniffles] And I don't know
where I wanna go.
And what I wanna do.
Sometimes I don't even know
who I am without other people.
I just wanted this year
to be memorable.
I just wanted people to like me.
Be remembered at the house,
like my mom was.
I didn't want to lose
my real friends in the process.
You were right.
I'm taking Alpha
to a sanctuary tomorrow.
I just hope you can forgive me.

[Emily chuckles, sniffles]
[phone dinging]
About-- No--
I don't wanna go.

I'll be back tomorrow.

[mysterious music playing]
[Dakota crying]
[door creaks open]
[chilling instrumental playing]
[sloth cooing]
Did you come to cheer me up?
I could use a cuddle.
[ominous music intensifying]
[shower curtain rattling]
[ominous tone]
-[tap creaks]
-[water splashing]

[Alissa] Hello?
Not funny!
-[tap creaks]
-[water stops]

-[Alissa screaming]
-[sloth shrieking]
[mysterious music playing]
So, girls, at midnight,
you will all place
a flower into the bowl.
White for Brianna,
and pink for Emily.
Where the hell
is Alissa and Dakota?
Doesn't matter.
Emily's not here.
-You're gonna win.
-I'd better.
[glass clinking]
[suspenseful music playing]
[motor revving]
There you are, superstar.
[Emily] Thanks, Ms. May.
You go get them, Ms. President!
[intense music playing]
-[music stops]
-[clock ticking]
[Emily] Wait, I'm here!
[dramatic instrumental playing]
-[Zenny] Yo, Em! Em, hey!
-Hey, hey.
[Zenny] You've made it.
[clock ticking]
And we can vote now.
White for Brianna.
And pink for Emily.
[suspenseful music playing]
[sloth cooing]
-[sloth growling]
-[chilling instrumental playing]
[glass clinks]
I know we're all shook
by what happened to Madison.
But let tonight
unify our sisterhood.
Sigma Lambda Theta,
we pledge to you a noble life.
Sigma Lambda Theta,
we pledge to you loyalty.
-[all] Unity!
-[all] Sacrifice!
[all] Aye!
We gather on this night
as our foresisters did in 1884
to elect our leader,
one who represents the
principles of our sisterhood.
We're locked in together tonight
to symbolize our unity.
The chain
represents our strength.
Long night, our sacrifice.
we have nothing but each other.
True friends.
That is our kindness.

[sloth croaks]
-[engine roaring]
-[tires screeching]
[suspenseful music playing]
And it looks like
we have a new president.
-Emily Young!
-[all cheering]
[inspiring music playing]
Come on, man,
let's get this party started!
["Joan Jett"
by Anna Hardy playing]
Joan Jett sayin'
"You wanna be like me?"
Great good, eh,
good enough for me, yeah
I want it all,
all, all, all, all
Bob Dylan bringin' down
the American Dream
Tina Turner looked
like a messy queen
-[music stops]
-[tires screeching]
[sloth groans]
[Zenny] Yeah, turn it up!
Runnin' that beauty queen,
I want it all,
all, all, all, all
I want it all,
all, all, all, all
[engine roaring]
I want it all,
all, all, all, all
-[siren wailing]
-[tires screeching]
I do my best, by what I am
Everybody wants me
to be just like them
It's not my plan
That's why they're acting,
crowdin' around me
People on the streets
screamin' out my name
Hey, I was born in the USA
Wow, I told you, I told you,
you're an influencer!
Everyone told me I'm special
John Lennon
on the roof of the BBC
Joan Jett sayin'
"You wanna be like me?
Wait, Em.
Madison, man, how's she doin'?
-She's gonna be okay.
She told me to come back.
Oh, yes! Yes!
So, any thoughts on who's
gonna be your vice-president?
I'm over this.
Ooh! Uh, excuse you?
Excuse me!
[monitor beeping]
[ominous music playing]
[sloth cooing]
[muffled screaming]
-[camera shutter clicks]
-[Madison grunting, panting]
[sloth coos]
[tense music playing]

[muffled screaming]
[doctor gasps]
[doctor] Code blue, code blue!
We need a crash cart, code blue!
Bitch, you better be dead.
Oh. It's messed up, right?
Like, people are
just disappearing.
Sarah's Instagram
says that she moved.
has anyone checked on them?
There you are, skank.
-[Zenny] Hey, y'all.
-[girl] Come on, girls!
Yo. Oh, are you-- Y'all--
y'all goin' to the trust shower?
-[girl] Yeah!
Word. Okay, are you coming?
I'm gonna go check the rooms.
-Okay, bye.
-Okay. Bye.
Don't you just wanna scream?
[music continues faintly]
[Brianna screaming]
-Your sloth's gonna kill me!
-Come on!
Get in.
[sloth shrieking]
[both screaming]
-[shower running]
-[Chloe] Do you trust us
-to not let you burn, sister?
-Yes, sister.
You trust us to
not let you freeze, sister?
-Not as much.
-[all laughing]
Well, walk.
-[girl] Come on.
-[Chloe] Well, come on.
-All right.
-[overlapping chatter]
[Chloe] Let's go. Come on.
-[girls exclaiming, laughing]
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-[girl] Keep going!
-Oh, my God!
the dress is gonna be ruined.
Guys, what--
[girls cheering]
Okay, who's next? Who's next?
Zenny, you go!
Well, yeah, you should go,
you should go.
No, No, hell no, hell no.
This is, like,
the dumbest shit we do.
-But I love it.
-[all laughing]
I love it.
Oh, my God.
Do you think Alpha killed Sarah?
Yeah, I think she killed Sarah.
I think she killed Sarah,
I think she killed Alissa,
and I think she's gonna kill me!
Did you see the look in her eye?
She's like a cute Chucky!
Brianna, just relax,
just take a breath.
What about Madison?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What happened to Madison
was an accident.
She's a sloth,
she can't plan that!
What do you even know
about those things?
-I know that they're slow.
-Slow? Did she look slow to you?
Oh, my God, we're all gonna die.
We're all gonna die
slow, horrible deaths
at the hands of an adorable
little killing machine!
All because your hating ass
couldn't handle
not being President!
You are a horrible person.
Oh, my God,
what are you gonna do?
I don't know!
But we have to warn the others.
Oh, it was just so cute
and cuddly, and slow!
It's not the jungle's
perfect predator.
-Maybe she's gone.
-Wait! Wait.
What if she's
hanging from the ceiling?
Oh, my God, we're gonna die!
Pull yourself together!
Oh, sorry. We are not gonna die.
Is there a gun in the house?
I don't know. I don't think so.
-Zenny, maybe?
Dakota's dad was a gun nut.
Like an IRA cardholder
or something.
-If anyone has one, it's her.
I'd have a gun, but
my friendship with Alissa
makes me seriously
wanna kill myself.
[exhales sharply] Okay.
Let's go get the gun.
[Emily] Brianna!
[Emily screams]
-[glass shatters]
-[screams, gasps] Oh, God.
You can come out. She's dead.
Brianna? It's okay.
Everything is gonna be okay.
Oh, God.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
[frantic music playing]
Morgan! Morgan! Morgan!
Morgan! Morgan! Morgan!
Morgan! Morgan! Morgan!
Morgan! Morgan! Morgan!
[girl] You got it!
[Morgan screams]
[all laughing]
[Morgan screaming]
[all screaming]
[overlapping shouting]

[Emily gasps]
-Oh, my God! Are you okay?
Your sloth. We were
in the showers, and it--
-Guys, guys! [screams]
[both screaming]
[Gabby] Oh!
[both screaming]
[sloth growling]
[scratching on door]
[sloth snarls]
[banging on door]
[sobbing] Stop!
What do you want?
[Mayflower] Girls?
[sloth croaks]
Where is everyone?
[Mayflower yelps, gasps]
Girls? Mr. Killer Guy?
Or gal?
Oh... oh...
[yelps, sighs]
Oh, my God. Look at you.
You poor thing. You're shaking.
Where are the girls?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[sobs] No!
[screams] Oh, God!
[sloth growling]
Are you ready to get rushed?
Yeah, maybe you aren't
rush material, you ugly bitch!
U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi!
You ugly! Yeah, yeah, you ugly!
-Girls? Girls?
-In here!
-[Mayflower] Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
Em, you're safe. Are you okay?
-Yeah! No.
-[Mayflower] Unlock the door.
Come on,
we gotta get out of here.
what if she's still out there?
-The sloth?
-[Emily] Yeah.
I killed her!
Come on. It's safe.
[solemn music playing]
Come on.
[Mayflower choking]
Alpha, you bitch!
-[glass shattering]
-Ah! You bad girl!
-[Mayflower screaming]
-[flesh ripping]
-[screaming stops]
-[Mayflower groans]
-Oh, Ms. May.
[Mayflower groans, pants]
[Emily] Hey,
we'll get you out of here.
-But-- What?
It's too late for me.
No! No, it's not!
I can-- If you just come on--
-Don't waste your life.
-It's not a waste.
Seriously. Please shut up.
I got a thing here.
Don't waste your life
like I did.
-You didn't.
-I did.
I spent my life obsessing with
what others thought about me.
I wanted to be
President so badly.
So badly.
I thought one year,
you kids-- Ow!
...might choose me.
Oh, Ms. Mayflower.
I am so sorry.
You thought that we would just
nominate you for President?
[Mayflower sobs, groans]
What, just, like, out of
the blue, no mention of it?
We would just guess
that the 60-something woman
who works in our sorority
was only sticking around
because she wanted to
get nominated for President?
Well, you say it like that,
maybe I should've
just used my degree.
Yeah, you should have.
I have a law degree.
You should definitely
have used that.
[pants, coughs]
Don't-- Oh, don't be like me.
It's-- it's a bad, lonely path.
It's the pits.
I was getting weird.
I-- I started getting Botox
and veneers, and...
-You did?
Oh... you're beautiful.
when I do you girls' laundry...
I just keep a sock.
Because, like, no one
second-guesses a lost sock.
And I'd wear them... [sobs] be cool!
Ms. Mayflower?
Ms. Mayflower, Ms. Mayflower!
-Oh, God.
Don't live to be popular.
Live for others.
Learn-- learn to
sacrifice for others.
And others will see you...
as the leader you truly are.
[Mayflower groaning]
Ms. Mayflower, I...
Ms. Mayflower?
Ms. Mayflower, please.
No, no, Ms. Mayflower--
[eerie music playing]

You're gonna be famous.
Ho, ho, ho!
You're gonna be,
like, rich people famous.
You're gonna be an influencer!
She belongs in the wild, Em.
Okay? And if-- if
you don't have the courage
to do the right thing, then...
Alpha! Alpha! Alpha! Alpha!
A lot of people are
really excited about Alpha.
[chuckles] And you.
[Madison] Em, you-- you should
be ashamed of yourself.
Okay? I mean...
this isn't you, Em.
Don't live to be popular.
Learn to sacrifice for others.
And others will see you...
as the leader you truly are.
[solemn music playing]
-[both screaming]
-[Tyler] It's me! Emily!
Tyler? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
What the hell is going on here?
Killer sloth.
No time to explain.
-Well, is anyone alive?
-I don't know.
[Zenny panting, groaning]
Zenny don't die, yo.
Zenny! Hey, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm great. Ah.
-Did everyone get out?
-No, man.
The little hormonal furbag
electrocuted everyone
in the trust showers.
Um... trust showers?
Yes, the initiation thing
is super hot,
but, like,
not right now, though.
-It was really gross.
-Let's get you two
-out of here, huh?
-Wait, wait.
She's trapped in Alissa's room.
Okay. [grunts]
[eerie music playing]
[Emily whispering] Brianna?
Are you in here?
[Brianna] How do I know
you're not the sloth?
Because she's talking American
at you, you dumb hoe!
Now get your skinny
little butt out here!
[Emily] Oh, God.
-Let's go.

-[sloth croaking]
-[Emily whimpers]
[Tyler] Shh!
-[sloth screeches]
-[all screaming]
-[sloth snarling]
-[all screaming]
Hey! Hey, yeah!
[sloth growling]
[Zenny hisses]
[Western movie-style
score playing]
-[sloth screeching]

[flsh squelches]
[gasps] God--
-[flesh squelches]
-[Zenny groans]
Ugh, God.
I'll chill. Go...
[Emily] Zenny!
-Oh, my God.
-[Zenny coughing]
Oh, God.
That's not good.
[dramatic music playing]
[sloth warbles]
[breathing heavily]
[gasping] Madison!
-[Zenny] Oh.
[Emily] Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
[all grunting effort]
[Emily] Madison! Oh, my God.
[Zenny] It's good to see you!
-[all gasp]
-Oh, my God!
Oh, she's losing a lot of blood.
We gotta get her out of here.
-[Zenny coughs]
-Just one thing.
Come on!
Where-- where's she going?
[sloth purring]
[sloth snuffles]
-We gotta go!
-[Zenny coughing]
-[Madison] Come on! Come on!
-[Tyler] I got her. Go, go!
Is it clear?
[soft, suspenseful
music playing]
[Zenny coughs, grunts]
What are you doing?
-I'm going back.
-[both] What? Why?
But it's a slotherhouse.
-Bro, you can't right now.
-People are dead, Tyler.
-Tyler, it's--
I thought it would be funny.
You know, a sloth-erhouse?
-It's not the time.
-You can't go back, yo.
[swoons, grunts]
[solemn string music playing]
Go get 'em, tiger.
I'm gonna go save Brianna.
You don't have to do this.
I do. That bitch is my sister.
I love you!
I know.
[coughs] We gotta go.
[ominous music playing]
[shouting] Alpha!
[Brianna] Don't! Please.

[Brianna breathing shakily]
[sloth cooing]
That's my tiara.
[sloth coos]
Oh, you want a fair fight?
[Emily shouting]
I'm sorry.
-[sloth growling]
[sloth snarling]
On second thought...
you can have it.
[sloth whines]
[Emily grunts, coughs]
-[sloth screeching]
-[repeated gunshots]
[sloth whimpering]
[intense music playing]
[girls chattering]
-[Emily] Hello, we're FETCH!
-[Zenny] Yo, hey, guys.
Come and support the furries!
-That's right, FETCH.
-Don't get a sloth.
-They'll kill you.
-Bye, guys.
-Get a flyer!
-[Zenny] That's right.
-[Emily] Guys, do you wanna--
-Oh, my God.
You're the sisters
from the Slotherhouse.
Oh, my God, we are never
gonna live that down, yo.
-Do you like my shirt?
-[Zenny] Yes!
-[Emily] Love it.
-[Zenny] Love that.
And we are back
to help spread awareness
of animal poaching,
and the dangers of taking
animals out
of their natural habitat.
-[both] FETCH!
-[Zenny] Yeah!
[Emily] We would love
a follow and a share.
That's so cool!
Yes, it is.
Can't believe
that was us four years ago.
-So excited to start college.
Hey, looks like you finally
found out who you are.
-[Brianna] Hey, guys?
Get over here!
Come on.
-Hey, hon.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Get in.
-All right.
-To the booth!
-Let me see?
Oh, don't tag me.
It's so weird to be back here.
Hey, thanks for saving me.
[chuckles] We're sisters.
That's how I show you
that I love you.
[Emily] Okay, come on.
["Last Selfie" by Benjamin
Bright & Patricia Starlight]
Brown hair, rosy cheeks
Gotta take the world on
Rules suck, you and me
We're gonna have a good one
Drink a pretty pink
Let's see
what you're made of
We look so good together
It feels just like a treat
But girl,
you might not wake up
Nothing is what it seems
I can see you
when you're sleeping
I'll be watching
when you're wide awake
But when you're
least expecting
[record scratching]
[tour guide] This is
the Panamanian rainforest.
It is home to more than half of
the world's ten million species.
Plants, animals...
-[bug buzzing]
There are many dangerous
animals that live here.
But poachers are taking them for
pelts, for trophies, for pets.
Es terrible.
These animals should be
left alone in their homes.
Don't move.
[tour guide speaking Spanish]
[tranquil music playing]
[tour guide speaking Spanish]
Okay. [exhales]
There are many
dangerous animals here.
-[scoffs] What, like that?
-Look, look. A three-toed sloth.
Hey, little guy!
Wanna be my buddy? [chuckles]
[tour guide] They're so
majestic and tranquil, no?
[camera shutter clicks]
I can see you
when you're sleeping
I'll be watching
when you're wide awake
But when you're
least expecting
-I'm gonna take your
-Breath away!
Don't you think
I'm just the cutest
Take a picture
for the world to see
And don't forget to tag me
-You better tag me
-In your last selfie!
Mind games, hard to see
You couldn't see it coming
Slash, slash, made you plea
Little claws for lovin'
TikTok dance with me
Got the most cash money
It's a little funny
We work so good together
Don't you just wanna scream?
And do you mind if we go
'Cause I'm just
a little killing machine.
I can see you
when you're sleeping
I'll be watching
when you're wide awake
But when you're
least expecting
-I'm gonna take your
-Breath away!
Don't you think
I'm just the cutest
Take a picture
for the world to see
And don't forget to tag me,
you better tag me
In your last selfie!
-And another one
-Little monster
And another one
And another one,
and another one
Just a little
killing machine
-Last selfie!
-Little monster
-There goes another one
-You better run, run
-And another one
-There goes another one
It's your last selfie
-Last selfie!
You're gonna
take our breath away
Hey, Alpha
Hey, Alpha
You're not slow in any way,
hey, Alpha
Hey, Alpha
Whatcha gonna do,
who you gonna slay?
Hey, Alpha
Hey, Alpha
You're gonna
ruin our day today
Hey, Alpha
Hey, Alpha
[gentle orchestral
music playing]

[tranquil music playing]