Small Pond (2011) Movie Script
Hey, good morning!
Last night was... it was
awesome.
Yeah.
What time is it?
Why, you got some place you
need to be?
Work? That sucks.
I was hoping that you'd stay here and
smoke some of this "dank nug" with me.
Hey, you know...
...we should get together
sometime and do this again.
Yeah, just give me a call
sometime.
Hey, I got a pen around here somewhere
if... if I could just find it.
Okay.
Hey! You better watch where
you're going!
"Qu'est-ce la chance?"
Lynn. The fuck are you?
Copacetic. In the cosmic sense.
How's your mom these days?
Fine. She's good.
So, I don't know if you've heard, but I
just moved in with some friends here.
Here? As in Columbia?
Well, Rosemary Lane, but same
difference.
Great.
So, you should make it out to
ecstatic dance sometime.
What's "ecstatic dance"?
Okay, so we all get together
Sunday mornings at the armory.
And we, well... I... put
together this music.
And, everybody just sort of
follows the rhythm of the music.
Really.
It's... okay. It's
basically about this moment...
...where you find yourself
at this higher place.
Your mind is at a higher level,
but your body's vibrating.
You feel the music and your body
just completely follows suit.
So when does all this happen?
Sunday mornings at the armory.
Sunday mornings when?
9:00 AM. You should make it out!
Yeah, well, if I don't it
probably has more to do with...
...that whole Sunday morning
at 9:00 AM thing, you know?
Right. Well, if you change your
mind... Yeah, probably not.
Um, okay. Well, it was really
nice to see you...
It was good to see you too,
Lynn.
Brad, Pizza for Brad. Come get
your pizza, Brad. Hurry up.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, you want a soda with that?
Yes please.
Thank you.
Howdy strangers.
Hey there.
Cookie and a soda?
Sure thing.
And for you?
Just a cookie.
Nothing to drink?
Water's fine.
$4.93 for you.
$2.95 for you.
Hello, Kirsten.
Straub. What's shakin'?
I know you're off
tomorrow night, because...
you're off every night... but
you should stop by around closing.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, I don't know
if you've heard but...
Jeremy's moving to Austin
to keep the band going.
So, no hard feelings, we're getting
together tomorrow night...
...you know, going to toast the
deal and make it legal.
Well, maybe I'll stop by.
Yeah, you should stop by!
But, what's really at the heart
of it, is that we're going to need...
...somebody to take over his
shift starting next week.
Sure, makes sense.
So, what do you think?
Do you mean do I want to take
Jeremy's bartending shift?
You know the deal, six to close
Tuesday through Saturday.
Since you'll be working
thirty hours a week, you can...
...even buy into our employee
health insurance plan.
I mean, I appreciate the offer
and everything, but...
...I don't understand
why anyone would want to...
...give up part of their
paycheck every single week
when they're still perfectly
healthy.
'Cause it's like, if you
get sick, you get sick,
and then you have to pay
a ton of money anyway...
...it just seems like a little
bit of a scam to me.
Well, you at least want to
think about it?
Think about it, at least.
Hey, we need a miracle!
Yeah, me too.
What's up, small fry? What's on
the menu?
Nice!
It got sent back, but it's only been sitting
there for like thirty minutes, though.
Cool!
Hey wait. Who's that girl you were hanging
out with at Eastside the other night?
Uh, Beth? She's cool.
It's her first year at MU, she moved here
from Baltimore last fall, she's nice.
Where'd you two crazy kids meet?
Shakespeare's, where else?
Right. I forget sometimes.
So I guess you heard Jeremy's
moving to Austin?
No, I hadn't, but to be honest
... It doesn't surprise me.
I'd be surprised if Jeremy
weren't moving to Austin!
I never hear anyone say they're
going to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Or, like Casper, Wyoming. I
mean...
...like Austin, Texas or Olympia,
Washington or Chicago...
...what do those places have that we
don't have here in Columbia, Missouri?
Whataburger, K Records, Old
Style.
That's just three.
A bunch of people are getting together at
Shakes to give Jeremy a proper send-off.
You want to come?
So we can all go get drunk with the
same people we always get drunk with
at the same place we always get
drunk at... one last time?
Don't be hatin'.
Hey kitty!
Oh hey, Dennie.
Hey, I hope you don't
mind, I let myself in.
Had to fix the relay
compressor on the fridge.
I tried calling, I even left a
message.
Yeah, well my cell got turned off,
and uh... the machine's dead, so...
Right. Well, as long as you're here,
I should mention that I'm
going to be selling the place.
Really? To who?
Whoever wants it.
So does that mean that Katie
and I have to move out?
It depends on who buys it, what
they want to do with it...
...whether or not I can even
sell the goddamned place.
So, uh, we'll just have to see.
Yeah, well, it's a great house,
so...
...I mean, I'm sure that it's going to move,
especially, like, in this market. You know?
Well, you know you guys got right
of first refusal on this place.
What's that, like, we have the
right to refuse to buy it?
Okay.
Look, mention it to Katie, okay?
I'm going to list it for
one-o-two, but...
...it's hers in a heartbeat for
eighty-eight if she wants it.
Thousand?
Mention it to Katie.
She could... well, you could...
own this place in ten years or so
for what the lot of you guys are
choking up in rent every month.
Yeah, but I mean, where am I
going to be in ten years?
It's a pretty uncertain
arrangement, so...
Well, listen. Just mention it
to Katie, okay?
I will! Thanks, Dennie.
Later later.
"You always know when best to
be assertive or to simply wait. "
Wakey wakey, pudding pie.
...what I'll see a lot of times,
sitting on the front porch...
is little birds chasing great
big birds out of the tree.
I mean big birds! And they come
flying in, landing on a limb...
and the little bird comes and
chases it out...
and sometimes two or three of
them will chase that big one.
Well, they're territorial...
I know. Why don't you and I go
grocery shopping?
Can I at least hose myself off
first?
Can you put your safety belt on?
It's just that I get the ticket
if we get pulled over, so...
When do you get your license
back again?
When I can afford to take that
SATOP class.
That shit is not cheap.
Oh, by the way, Dennie
stopped by today and...
...he said he's thinking
about selling the house.
Shit. Are you serious, we have
to move out?
Well, when were you going to
let me know that?
I just did! I just told you!
I took a nap, and then I woke up, and
I told you you as soon as I saw you!
Fuck!
We only have to move out if someone
actually decides to buy the place.
Great.
And he said that you had right
of first refusal.
For real? Like, what... what's
he asking?
$88,000.
He says it's yours if you want
it.
88?
Ooh look! Stuffed portobello
mushrooms!
These look good. You just throw
them in the oven, and...
Yeah, you should get them.
Yeah. Well, I thinking that we could go
"half-sies" on some of these groceries?
You know, save some money?
The problem with that, I think
right now, is...
I have a hard time visualizing what I'm
going to want to eat three nights from now,
'cause I'm not a food psychic,
and...
...so I just generally pick stuff
up when I'm out on the town,
and then I'm coming home, I'll
get something...
you know, burrito, or whatever,
or...
Fine! Fine.
Then don't fuck with my
portobello mushrooms.
Don't even.
Fine!
These are mine, too.
Okay!
Katie.
I know. Why don't I just, like,
pick up some beer?
Oh, hey. Can you just let me
out up here on the right?
I have a little business to
attend to.
Uh, yeah. Well, you just passed
it, but that's fine.
Um, just anywhere. Up here is
good.
Oh, um. Do me a hot favor, love
biscuit...
don't forget to put those
beers in the fridge so...
...they're nice and icy
cold when I get home. K?
Later later!
Pants!
Hey.
You want to see my ID?
No.
Thank you, sir.
Hi!
Hey. What're you having?
How about a "Bully Wheat. "
There you go.
Thanks.
You know I'm good for it.
Yeah.
That's just wrong.
...no, this is not "new age,"
this is older than time.
No, it's not "new age," but...
oh, Kirsten!
It's my friend Kirsten!
Kirsten, hey! Twice in one day,
huh?
The odds.
So I want you to meet my
friends Doug and Charity.
- What's up?
- Hi.
They're in town from Boulder.
Of course they are.
So anyway, it's kind of lucky we ran
into you like this, because uh...
Doug and Charity need a place
to crash tonight...
Yeah, maybe load up on a
"twelve-r" of Stag and hang out?
Sorry guys, couch is taken.
Oh, no. Um...
Seriously, Katie's cousin's up from Lamar,
she's going to theater camp at Stephens.
They're doing "Pippin. "
That's... that's actually
not what I was going to say,
I was just going to
say that... um, maybe...
I'm just saying that maybe we
can think outside the box here,
maybe if you had a backyard
where we could lay down a tarp,
or pitch a tent?
No fucking way.
Maybe you know about any affordable
camping spots around here?
At least something with public showers and
hopefully not crawling with rapists, but...
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Um, sorry?
Hey, is that Kirsten?
Kirsten! Hey you'ze!
Yes. Hi!
I don't know if I've properly
introduced you to Beth.
Beth, this is my esteemed chum
Kirsten.
"Esteemed. "
Nice to meet you.
Totally.
You just moved here from
Baltimore?
Yes. My aunt works at MU,
so I had an opportunity...
...to join up at the journalism school...
...so, yeah.
That's cool. I mean, it's a
good program and, uh...
...it's a great time to be in
journalism with all the...
...stuff that's going on and
everything, so that sounds like a...
...really choice opportunity!
Cool, thanks!
File under "ironic coincidences," but my
aunt Barb lives in Columbia, Maryland.
Get out!
There's a Columbia, Maryland?
Have you been to visit her?
No, but I thought about it.
She teaches sign language to deaf and
hearing kids in integrated classrooms.
Wow. That's great!
We were just going to go
home because we couldn't...
...figure out anything
else to do tonight...
Tell me about it.
Did you want to go get a drink
at Eastside?
No!
No, I don't. I, uh...
Come to think of it, though...
...Beth here is new in town and
maybe we should just take her
to one of Columbia's more "off the
beaten path" kind of destinations?
Like what?
I'm talking McNally's!
McNally's?
Yes! Oh, my God. McNally's has quickly
endeared itself to me in so many ways.
Really.
I'm game!
I could have sworn it was right
here...
That's Tony's!
I have to pee.
I told you it was on Sixth
Street.
I know.
Why wouldn't you listen?
I thought you said this was
your new favorite hangout.
Was? Is. New champion.
How's everyone doing?
Great!
Another one of these for me,
please.
And can I get you guys anything?
Actually...
...do you think I could a
ginger ale with bitters?
You know what? That sounds good,
I'll have one of those too.
Great. Well, I'm going to go and
figure out what a "bitters" is, but...
I'll be right back!
Cheers!
So, Kristen...
Kirsten.
It's Kirsten.
I hear you work at
Shakespeare's.
Indubitably. I work the lunch
rush Monday through Friday.
Mike tells me it's something of
a rite of passage around here.
Yeah, it's like, "take your
pick," you know?
Do you deliver sandwiches for
the Sub Shop,
do you tear tickets at the
Ragtag...
"Do you sleep around at the
Ranch?"
Do you end up bussing tables at
Ernie's?
You know, "take your pick. "
Well, I don't know what the
Ranch is, but...
...I do think it's a little weird
that you would allow your identity
to be so wrapped up in the
social cachet
of a job in the service sector.
What she said.
Well, yes and no, I mean, like
...when I first moved to town I
didn't know anyone. So...
...and I think it's like that
for a lot of people, like...
...the friends you first meet
through work,
and then through friends at
work, and then...
And before you realize
it, all of these things...
...have come to define
who you are as a person.
"McNally's!"
McNally's was pretty awesome.
So you were just going to walk
home?
Well, it's more of a
moonlight constitutional...
...than a neighborly stroll, I suppose...
...but it's a nice night for
it!
Mike! Let's listen to records!
Nice to meet you!
Nighty night.
Oh, shit.
"Sub Shop. "
Is it too late to order
delivery with a credit card?
"We stopped taking orders like
half an hour ago, so... "
God damn it!
It's Pepper time!
"You're watching KOMU-TV 8. Live
... It's Pepper and Friends. "
That puppy is so cute!
Pepper.
This show.
"Good morning! Welcome to our show. Monday
the 25th, it is Thanksgiving week... "
"And didn't we dodge that snow?"
"Oh, yeah. But it's
cold outside! It is cold.
If you're going to go out
...if you haven't been outside
yet... man, you go outside and
you might be in for a surprise,
so bundle up warmly. "
"When you bundle up, you
usually do bundle up warmly. "
"Yeah, warmly. Thursday we're
not going to be here... "
"... I want you to meet them
all by name. Here we have... "
- "I'm Josh. "
- "I'm Jeff. "
"Now there's one guy who's missing.
Where is the other one?"
"He couldn't make it today. "
"Then you're playing the spoons
... is that for this song?"
"And then you all have jingle
bells?"
"A little bit of rhythm. "
"And you're just playing... "
- "Just a plain old electric guitar. "
- "Okay. "
"No gimmicks!"
Cheers to you, Jeff Carrillo!
You're so cute!
I totally know where you're
coming from.
Except when did you guys end up
signing with K Records?
It was fall of 2007.
They heard our last album on Cold
Crush, and they liked what they heard,
and we knew each other from all
the requisite industry shindigs,
and you know, it was a natural
fit.
That is so cool.
Yeah, I remember walking into
Salt of the Earth and picking up
that first Dub Narcotic
seven-inch and taking it home,
and it was like... wow.
Yeah.
You mind if we have a seat?
These heels are killing me.
Okay.
...I thought, you know this is so
corny, but just for a brief second,
"maybe I'll put a record out on
K one day," you know,
just oozing childish naivet.
Well, here's to the intersection
of fantasy and reality, right?
Cheers.
Life's a funny thing sometimes.
It's so funny! You know,
because, like, well...
...I never harbored any
ambition of being, you know,
an internationally renowned
recording artist or anything...
"Down, boy. "
...no, but seriously.
I used to write the music reviews
for my high school paper,
and I couldn't carry a tune or play
an instrument to save my life, but...
...I always thought, you know,
maybe I could still contribute
to the scene in some meaningful
way, like work for a Thrill Jockey
or a K Records or a Touch and
Go. You know?
If you're willing to
roll up your sleeves and...
...put in your hours at
the "merch" table...
I am so up for it! Seriously.
All right, here's what I'm
thinking. You got a pen?
Pen. Uh... wait, pocket? No.
Hold on one second.
Excuse me! Does anyone have a
pen?
Anything I could use to write
with...
Sharpie!
I was thinking you should maybe
give Calvin Johnson a call.
Really?
Yeah, I mean maybe he doesn't have
anything percolating at the moment,
but you could just introduce yourself,
do the whole "hi-how-you-doing" routine
and see where it goes.
Wow. I mean...
that would be amazing, to be a part
of the whole K Records enterprise!
Cool. All right, are you ready?
I am! Okay, shoot!
360- 555...
Hang on, let me try that again.
I don't know. Just one more try...
360- 555...
...7777.
Um, no.
Okay, I don't... I don't understand.
You know what? Just tell it to me.
I have a killer memory and...
it's... you know.
A killer memory.
It's a little safety deposit
box up there.
360- 555- 7777.
7777. Got it.
Not even going to write it down.
Nope!
360- 555- 7777. I got it.
Well, it was nice to meet you,
Kirsten.
You too! And you know, if you guys
are ever in town... hook me up!
You got it! All right, bye.
Take care of yourself...
...Jeff Carrillo.
360- 555...
360...
Holy fuck!
God damn it!
Fuck!
Fuck off and die!
Word!
You understand what I'm saying!
We need to do something because nobody...
...understands what is
happening with the workers!
Just a regular old coffee to go.
It's gonna be $1.87.
Sorry.
It's fine.
I swear that I wasn't trying to
Fuck you, fuck off, eat a fucking
dick, I don't fucking care!
Don't fucking talk to me!
Pizza for Stacey with an E-Y. Stacey with
an E-Y, come and get your pizza already.
Would you like something to
drink with that?
I would, please. How about a
Stag?
No problem.
That will be $3.75, please.
Keep the change.
Have a great day!
Thanks.
Hey guys.
Hey there!
Cookie and a soda... cookie
and no soda?
Water's fine.
You know, you guys really should ask your
parents for a little extra lunch money.
I mean, I'm sure they're willing to
spring for the occasional soda pop...
You know, I'm sorry.
No, no... it's fine.
No, I shouldn't have said that.
It's fine... for the both of us,
uh... keep the change! Thanks.
Do you take Discover?
I can't, I'm sorry, I have to
go pick up Beth from school
and then drive her to her
meeting.
Meeting? What kind of meeting?
It's, uh... the kind of meeting
where people go and exchange ideas.
Usually while seated.
You are not cool!
Yeah, I am.
No way, it's... too far.
Please tell me you take
Discover.
Grumble.
Shit!
Please tell me he is not bartending
at his own going away party.
Yep! That's Jeremy for you.
...there's a story by Miranda
July about a dog named Potato...
Hey Straub!
Oh. Hey, Kirsten. Talk to
Jeremy yet?
Oh. Nah, he looks all busy,
embroiled in conversation, and...
Hey, Kirsten.
Hey, Jeremy.
You look like you need a drink!
You know what, I'm good right
now, thanks.
So I was going to ask you about
that job that you asked me about...
Oh, yeah... Katie's picking up
that shift.
Really?
Yeah, she's hungry for it,
she's good to go, and...
...I detected a sense of, shall
we say,
tentativeness in my response to
my original inquiry?
Right.
Okay, that's fair, I guess.
Thanks anyway!
...just as dirty, right?
Because you know how linoleum,
in the cracks and the creases
of it, it just gets dirty
and you can't get it out no
matter how hard you scrub,
even with bleach? I hate that.
So then I was...
Hey.
Fuck off.
I bought groceries!
Well, hoo-fucking-ray.
So I guess you talked to Straub
today.
Yeah, and I talked to Dennie
today. Just so you know.
Okay.
I'm buying the house. It's
mine. The house is mine.
Really.
Yeah, well, fuck it, I mean...
I'm practically paying Dennie's
mortgage as it is
and I figured why not cut out
the middleman, you know?
Right.
I mean, I'm months away from settling,
but it's practically a done deal.
Okay, cool.
Could you at least not be such a total
bitch about it between now and then?
Wow! Uh... sure, why not?
Thanks, Katie!
You're welcome.
So I was thinking tile. I could
do that myself...
Oh, hey Kirsten. Where you
going?
I'm going to fucking McNally's!
Is that for real?
Yeah, they're leftover from
Halloween.
Let's giddy up.
Hey! How much for the whole
shirt? I want it.
Get lost!
Yeah, real mature.
Yeah, get your old ass out of
here!
I ain't leaving 'til I got that
shirt.
I got sixteen bucks, so that's
like sixteen sucks?
Strike three, captain.
Oh, come on!
That guy, huh?
Welcome to my world.
Thank you. I love your world.
Hey, "wrong way"...
What?
...I mean "Wang Mei"! I mean...
...get us another round of
"pink tacos," will you?
Copy that.
How many more of those?
What the hell is a "pink taco"?
It's... Knockov orange,
Knockov strawberry,
Knockov raspberry, Knockov sour
apple...
Basically it's a pint of vodka.
With cranberry and sour.
That's nutty.
Hey, we're going to go grab a
smoke. Can you watch our drinks?
You got it.
Killer.
No shit!
Where'd they go?
Just out for a smoke, but...
I'm ready to settle up.
You're not going to start a tab?
Not tonight.
All right, well have a good
night!
Lynn!
Hey.
Small world!
Yep!
What's up?
I was just going to check out McNally's,
I got a coupon... "Ad Sheet"!
It's a cool place, I like it a
lot.
Hey, you know what? I just
wanted to let you know that
I'm really sorry that I disappointed
you and your friends the other night,
I've just been fighting a ton
with Katie
and just couldn't handle a
couple more people at my house.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah... they're gone, they took
off late last night, to...
Champaign to go crash at his
cousin's, so you know...
Hey listen, if your coupon's still
good for another couple of days,
I have something in this bag
that you might take a shine to.
Shall we?
Except... where are we going to get a
"whip-it cracker" at this time of night?
We could always stop by the
Olde Un.
I have an idea! "Andiamo!"
Kirsten, shit! What's up?
We've come to party, earthlings.
You brought a friend, it's...
Lynn, right?
Didn't I give you a lift home
from Mojo's the other night?
"Absolutement!"
Can I get you ladies anything to drink?
I got some stones in the fridge.
Hells yes!
That's pretty awesome...
they're not cold or nothin,
but they're pretty expensive,
so...
...here you go.
Is he going to be OK?
Yeah, he's fine. That's just
Brantly,
just fucking passed out drunk.
Ever since he got this disgusting
nipple piercing at Dreamcatcher,
it's like he won't put his shirt
back on for nothin', and...
it's like he's showing off his fucking
engagement ring or some shit.
Check this out, hold on.
What the fuck?
Motherfucker!
You can't stay in there
forever, man, I live here now!
Fuck, man!
What the fuck you crazy bitches
want?
We brought "whip-its"!
That sounds pretty good,
actually.
Hey, I'm sorry I called you all
a bunch of crazy bitches...
you saw that fucker put hot
sauce in my shit!
You know what would really help that,
actually? Some fresh aloe vera.
Yeah, well, you know what would
be really good?
Some nitrous oxide in my lungs
and brains, "yo. "
Okay, you got a "whip-it
cracker"?
Oh, yeah!
Sweet.
Oh, shit. Balloons!
We got some balloons leftover
from Dawson's birthday party!
Yeah, I know how to treat the
ladies.
So, Brantly, you know my
friend, Lynn?
What's up? I'm Brantly.
"Avec plaisir. "
What, are you from Mexico or
some shit?
Hey, you guys ever seen, like,
mixed martial arts fighting?
I'm into that shit, man, I
fucking rock out, man...
What're you doing? Give me that.
Bunch of amateurs!
Show you how it's done... show
you how we do it!
Oh! It's cold, it's cold.
Why, thank you madam.
Dude. I'm fucking flyin', man,
like...
Come to Kirsten!
I want my wings!
Oh my God!
You all ever go out to the
country, like, late at night,
and like, listen to bullfrogs
and shit?
Man... they talk to you, dude.
God damn.
Hey, Kirsten...
...do you remember that weekend when
we went looking for the red fern?
It was because we'd both just read
"Where the Red Fern Grows"...
...and I borrowed your dad's
hacksaw from the garage
because we thought that if we
cut down the red fern,
we would be rich for the rest of
our lives?
I needed seven stitches.
I know.
On the way to Columbia General,
though, your mom...
...have I told you this story
before?
We were speeding down I-70...
...and I remember seeing this
station wagon...
this white station wagon. It
was over in the right lane,
and it was kind of wobbling, like
something was wrong with the tire.
And all of a sudden, it skidded
and hit the shoulder...
ran over the grass, and just
plunged into...
...into oblivion, I guess.
But, your mom... I remember
your mom,
I looked at her and I said, "Mrs.
Reister, shouldn't we stop?"
She just looked at me and she
said,
"no, honey, we have to get you
to the hospital. "
And just kept driving.
Really? With all that blood and
everything?
So, but... you said she was
good?
She and my dad got a divorce right after I
graduated school and moved to Columbia.
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Where does she live now?
I can't remember.
Don't you talk to her?
Oh, you know, I honestly doubt
she wants to hear
that her daughter is a drunk-driving
fuck-up with a suspended license
and $30,000 worth of credit
card debt.
Last call. Any takers?
They're all mine.
You know what, guys...
it's times like this that you really start
to learn stuff about life, you know?
It's like... you can finally
get a handle on shit, you know,
everything's so hard everyday
and then...
...suddenly, it's all better.
Holy shit! Kirsten!
Whoopsies.
No, Kirsten, don't! Because
you're going to...
Damn!
God!
Oh, man. That ain't good.
Okay, stay right there, okay?
Lynn?
Oh my God, Lynn. How bad is it?
What the fuck is going on in
here?
Kirsten, this doesn't look so
good.
Damn. You got to get that bitch
to the ER, "yo. "
Seek medical attention and shit.
No!
We walked here!
You can just use my bike!
Todd!
Todd!
I need to borrow your car.
Todd!
I'm so embarrassed I want to
die.
Lynn, I don't know how many times
I have to ask, but please...
Just, you know, don't talk!
It's going to be fine!
No it isn't, I can't afford
this shit! Just please, just...
turn around and take me home,
okay?
Maybe we could just call
your Aunt Barb, you know?
She's always been cool.
No! You can't do that, please!
We don't have to tell her what really
happened. You could just...
tell her that you ran into a
door or something, I don't know.
Please don't, Lynn. Just promise
me you won't do that, okay?
Do you take Discover?
Um, hi.
Is this Kirsten's Aunt Barb?
Kirsten Reister. Yes.
Um, I'm a friend of your niece's, you
probably don't remember me, but I...
I'm here with Kirsten right
now, we're at the hospital...
no, she'll be fine.
She just had a little bit of an
accident, and...
no, no, she'll be fine.
I was just calling, actually,
because I was wondering if...
maybe I could get your credit
card information
and give it to these nice folks
here at the hospital?
Yeah.
No, no, you're right, it...
it doesn't seem sketchy,
doesn't it?
Yeah, you know...
maybe you were right, maybe we
should just get out of here.
All I want, Lynn, is just a big
Band-Aid for my face.
Please!
It's really starting to clot...
...I bet that it's going to
scab in a couple of days, and...
in a week, or in a month...
you'll look great!
It's bleeding through a little
bit, so...
I'm just going to get that guy.
Okay, that's better... right?
It's a little bit better, right?
You know what?
I'm going to call you tomorrow.
And I'm going to stop by.
Feel better, okay?
My life is over.
You look pretty "beat the fuck
up" there, Kirsten.
Seriously, what happened?
Um, I think that... if I'm not
fired already, I quit.
No, no... listen.
We're concerned. I'm concerned.
We just want to know...
Can we all just please act like none
of this ever happened ever, please?
I have to go.
Kirsten?
Come on. Open up, I can smell
you!
Okay. I was just kidding. Open
up.
Seriously. Open up.
You're making me worried and
I'm getting pissed off. Okay?
Where is my fucking phone?
Hello?
Kirsten?
Oh. Hi. Aunt Barb.
Well. I'm on-line looking at flights into
Lambert. I'll probably just end up
getting a rental car at the airport.
And if you need me to...
No. Please, Aunt Barb! Please,
please don't do that.
How do I get a call like that and
not want to come and see you?
There's just really no need for
it.
What do I have going on that's more
pressing than being your Aunt Barb?
I don't know. Stuff?
If you weren't okay. You'd let
me know, wouldn't you?
I am one-hundred percent "okie-dokie. "
Aunt Barb. Double pinkie swear.
And if that ever changes.
You'll let me know, right?
I will. I swear.
You know. You were always such a
headstrong and outgoing child, Kirsten.
But I worry because I just don't see that
outgoing side of you so much anymore.
The headstrong part is still
alive and well!
Doesn't surprise me that your mom
never could keep up with you.
Hey. You remember that time I took you
to that matinee of "Herbie Goes Bananas"
at the Forum and you were so determined
to go to the restroom all by yourself.
But then you got locked in the
I love you Aunt Barb. But I'm
hanging up on you.
Jesus.
Still. You've got to admit...
...it makes for a really funny
story.
Fuck off!
Sorry.
Whatever.
I just came by to see if I could borrow
your internet. I have to send an email.
Sure. Beth's hanging out over
there if you want to stop by.
Thanks.
Hey.
I don't mean to interrupt...
...and I know it's none of my
business...
...but I just thought I would
say...
...I've done some stupid stuff.
Too, you know.
Excuse me?
I don't mean it like that.
I really don't. I just...
...I've been through some pretty
serious shit in my life. Too.
The kind of stuff you don't
always feel
like sharing over polite dinner
conversation.
If you get my drift.
So. I just thought I would let
you know that
if you ever get to a point where you
feel like you've lost control...
I'll let you know.
You got it.
"You're listening to 89.5 KOPN
in Columbia. Missouri. "
"The show tonight is Women's
Issues. Women's Voices
and I'm your host Corri Flaker. "
We have a special guest on
tonight.
Her name is Lynn Marie and
she's from New Franklin.
Say hi. Lynn!
Hi!
I was just thinking that. Since
it's your first show,
what do you want to talk about?
Okay. First of all. Corri, I guess
I just want to thank you for
giving me an opportunity to intern
here and be a part of this station
because I think it's a really
special place.
In my life. You know I'm from
New Franklin
and I spent a lot of my life in
a pretty dark place.
And just sort of feeling stuck.
And judging myself...
...and just recently. I don't
know, something just changed,
and I've been able to embrace
the positivity.
And since I've done that. I've
started interning here, you know,
I started doing ecstatic dance.
Which is just a conduit
to become more positive and
more aware. And...
...I just ramble. Sorry!
But I guess. Yeah, I like positivity.
That's what I'd like to talk about.
You know. Thank you so much for
getting back to me,
that was really incredibly cool
of you.
Hey. No problem.
So what's up?
I'm sure you probably inferred this
from the email that I sent you. But...
...I would really love to help
you guys out on your tour.
I mean. If you'd have me.
I personally am not a fan of last-minute
additions to the tour staff.
It's pretty cramped in the van
already.
Yeah. Right.
Listen. Don't get me wrong, you seem
like a nice person and everything...
Here's what I was thinking.
Right?
You know. You guys are kicking
your tour off in Chicago, right?
Right.
Okay. So. What if I meet you
guys in Chicago and,
you know what. I just keep an eye
on your CDs and T-shirts and stuff
and make sure nobody runs off
with them. And then...
you know. I could help schlep gear
and stuff to your van, and...
as long as maybe I'm not a
total pain in the ass.
I could graduate to some
ride-along detail.
I mean. You know... I'm also
really flexible,
I could probably try to get
rides to the next show.
I'm a resourceful girl!
I mean. If you want to help out
at the show in Chicago,
I'm not going to tell you "no. "
Even that. You have no idea
what this would mean to me.
Yeah. I don't want to speak for
the other guys, but...
if you cart as much gear as
everybody else.
I'm sure they'll be cool with
it.
Yeah. You can count on me for
that. You know, I'm good.
Then. That's awesome!
Um. Give me a call if you need
to check in, otherwise...
...I'll see you next week?
Totally. See you then!
All right. I'll see you later.
Okay. So what's the address
again?
It's "mike4204ever" at
bluntster dot com.
B- L-U-N-T-S-T-E-R dot com. Got
it.
So I will email you from the road and
let you know how things are going.
Sure thing.
Okay.
And. Uh, thanks for letting me
store my vinyl at your place.
No sweat. You could say it's a
mutually beneficial arrangement.
All right. Wish me luck!
Bye!
Nice!
Amazing!
I know!
Lynn. I can't thank you enough
for this.
You would not believe the
amount of convincing I had to do
to get Todd to sign off on this.
Count me as grateful and
appreciative.
Todd. Right?
At least something good came of
all this.
Shotgun!
Later later. Columbia! Road
trip!
Mom.
Honey! Hey!
It's good to see you.
What took you so long?
Well. That's a complicated
question.
Honey. I'm sorry. It doesn't
matter. Really.
So Aunt Barb told me that
you're living in Cedar Rapids.
How long has that been?
Almost four years. Can you
believe it?
Yeah. I can. It's been a long
time. Except that...
Time passes so quickly. Right?
Well. I'm having a glass of the
shiraz. How about you?
I can't even remember the last
time I had a drink before sundown.
Oh. Kirsten, I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to put you on the spot or anything.
No. Mom, it's fine.
Sounds good. I'll have one too.
Hey ladies.
Hi.
Can I start you off with
something to drink?
Yes. We're going to have two
glasses of the shiraz, please.
- Okay. I'll be right back.
- Thank you.
So Aunt Barb tells me that
you're back in Columbia
and you're working with some
local record label?
Aunt Barb sure does love to
talk!
Yeah!
Yeah. I just started out as a
filing clerk, and then...
I was managing the on-line
division. And then...
I was balancing the books. And
then...
Yeah?
Well. Now... I'm the vice
president of business affairs.
Wow. Really? Well well!
It's a vanity title.
Hey. You were never one to promote
your achievements. Bully for you!
So. Uh... what's the label
called?
Emergency Umbrella.
Well. That's a peculiar name.
But. It doesn't matter.
Kirsten...
...I'm really proud of you.
Are there any bands on the label
that I might have heard about?
Bald Eagle?
No.
Just goes to show you how out
of touch your mom is.
Gosh. I wonder where our drinks
are.
Kirsten.
Hey. Kirsten!
Kirsten!
I didn't want you to miss this.
"Quel tableau. N'est-ce pas?"
"Mais oui. "
Last night was... it was
awesome.
Yeah.
What time is it?
Why, you got some place you
need to be?
Work? That sucks.
I was hoping that you'd stay here and
smoke some of this "dank nug" with me.
Hey, you know...
...we should get together
sometime and do this again.
Yeah, just give me a call
sometime.
Hey, I got a pen around here somewhere
if... if I could just find it.
Okay.
Hey! You better watch where
you're going!
"Qu'est-ce la chance?"
Lynn. The fuck are you?
Copacetic. In the cosmic sense.
How's your mom these days?
Fine. She's good.
So, I don't know if you've heard, but I
just moved in with some friends here.
Here? As in Columbia?
Well, Rosemary Lane, but same
difference.
Great.
So, you should make it out to
ecstatic dance sometime.
What's "ecstatic dance"?
Okay, so we all get together
Sunday mornings at the armory.
And we, well... I... put
together this music.
And, everybody just sort of
follows the rhythm of the music.
Really.
It's... okay. It's
basically about this moment...
...where you find yourself
at this higher place.
Your mind is at a higher level,
but your body's vibrating.
You feel the music and your body
just completely follows suit.
So when does all this happen?
Sunday mornings at the armory.
Sunday mornings when?
9:00 AM. You should make it out!
Yeah, well, if I don't it
probably has more to do with...
...that whole Sunday morning
at 9:00 AM thing, you know?
Right. Well, if you change your
mind... Yeah, probably not.
Um, okay. Well, it was really
nice to see you...
It was good to see you too,
Lynn.
Brad, Pizza for Brad. Come get
your pizza, Brad. Hurry up.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, you want a soda with that?
Yes please.
Thank you.
Howdy strangers.
Hey there.
Cookie and a soda?
Sure thing.
And for you?
Just a cookie.
Nothing to drink?
Water's fine.
$4.93 for you.
$2.95 for you.
Hello, Kirsten.
Straub. What's shakin'?
I know you're off
tomorrow night, because...
you're off every night... but
you should stop by around closing.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, I don't know
if you've heard but...
Jeremy's moving to Austin
to keep the band going.
So, no hard feelings, we're getting
together tomorrow night...
...you know, going to toast the
deal and make it legal.
Well, maybe I'll stop by.
Yeah, you should stop by!
But, what's really at the heart
of it, is that we're going to need...
...somebody to take over his
shift starting next week.
Sure, makes sense.
So, what do you think?
Do you mean do I want to take
Jeremy's bartending shift?
You know the deal, six to close
Tuesday through Saturday.
Since you'll be working
thirty hours a week, you can...
...even buy into our employee
health insurance plan.
I mean, I appreciate the offer
and everything, but...
...I don't understand
why anyone would want to...
...give up part of their
paycheck every single week
when they're still perfectly
healthy.
'Cause it's like, if you
get sick, you get sick,
and then you have to pay
a ton of money anyway...
...it just seems like a little
bit of a scam to me.
Well, you at least want to
think about it?
Think about it, at least.
Hey, we need a miracle!
Yeah, me too.
What's up, small fry? What's on
the menu?
Nice!
It got sent back, but it's only been sitting
there for like thirty minutes, though.
Cool!
Hey wait. Who's that girl you were hanging
out with at Eastside the other night?
Uh, Beth? She's cool.
It's her first year at MU, she moved here
from Baltimore last fall, she's nice.
Where'd you two crazy kids meet?
Shakespeare's, where else?
Right. I forget sometimes.
So I guess you heard Jeremy's
moving to Austin?
No, I hadn't, but to be honest
... It doesn't surprise me.
I'd be surprised if Jeremy
weren't moving to Austin!
I never hear anyone say they're
going to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Or, like Casper, Wyoming. I
mean...
...like Austin, Texas or Olympia,
Washington or Chicago...
...what do those places have that we
don't have here in Columbia, Missouri?
Whataburger, K Records, Old
Style.
That's just three.
A bunch of people are getting together at
Shakes to give Jeremy a proper send-off.
You want to come?
So we can all go get drunk with the
same people we always get drunk with
at the same place we always get
drunk at... one last time?
Don't be hatin'.
Hey kitty!
Oh hey, Dennie.
Hey, I hope you don't
mind, I let myself in.
Had to fix the relay
compressor on the fridge.
I tried calling, I even left a
message.
Yeah, well my cell got turned off,
and uh... the machine's dead, so...
Right. Well, as long as you're here,
I should mention that I'm
going to be selling the place.
Really? To who?
Whoever wants it.
So does that mean that Katie
and I have to move out?
It depends on who buys it, what
they want to do with it...
...whether or not I can even
sell the goddamned place.
So, uh, we'll just have to see.
Yeah, well, it's a great house,
so...
...I mean, I'm sure that it's going to move,
especially, like, in this market. You know?
Well, you know you guys got right
of first refusal on this place.
What's that, like, we have the
right to refuse to buy it?
Okay.
Look, mention it to Katie, okay?
I'm going to list it for
one-o-two, but...
...it's hers in a heartbeat for
eighty-eight if she wants it.
Thousand?
Mention it to Katie.
She could... well, you could...
own this place in ten years or so
for what the lot of you guys are
choking up in rent every month.
Yeah, but I mean, where am I
going to be in ten years?
It's a pretty uncertain
arrangement, so...
Well, listen. Just mention it
to Katie, okay?
I will! Thanks, Dennie.
Later later.
"You always know when best to
be assertive or to simply wait. "
Wakey wakey, pudding pie.
...what I'll see a lot of times,
sitting on the front porch...
is little birds chasing great
big birds out of the tree.
I mean big birds! And they come
flying in, landing on a limb...
and the little bird comes and
chases it out...
and sometimes two or three of
them will chase that big one.
Well, they're territorial...
I know. Why don't you and I go
grocery shopping?
Can I at least hose myself off
first?
Can you put your safety belt on?
It's just that I get the ticket
if we get pulled over, so...
When do you get your license
back again?
When I can afford to take that
SATOP class.
That shit is not cheap.
Oh, by the way, Dennie
stopped by today and...
...he said he's thinking
about selling the house.
Shit. Are you serious, we have
to move out?
Well, when were you going to
let me know that?
I just did! I just told you!
I took a nap, and then I woke up, and
I told you you as soon as I saw you!
Fuck!
We only have to move out if someone
actually decides to buy the place.
Great.
And he said that you had right
of first refusal.
For real? Like, what... what's
he asking?
$88,000.
He says it's yours if you want
it.
88?
Ooh look! Stuffed portobello
mushrooms!
These look good. You just throw
them in the oven, and...
Yeah, you should get them.
Yeah. Well, I thinking that we could go
"half-sies" on some of these groceries?
You know, save some money?
The problem with that, I think
right now, is...
I have a hard time visualizing what I'm
going to want to eat three nights from now,
'cause I'm not a food psychic,
and...
...so I just generally pick stuff
up when I'm out on the town,
and then I'm coming home, I'll
get something...
you know, burrito, or whatever,
or...
Fine! Fine.
Then don't fuck with my
portobello mushrooms.
Don't even.
Fine!
These are mine, too.
Okay!
Katie.
I know. Why don't I just, like,
pick up some beer?
Oh, hey. Can you just let me
out up here on the right?
I have a little business to
attend to.
Uh, yeah. Well, you just passed
it, but that's fine.
Um, just anywhere. Up here is
good.
Oh, um. Do me a hot favor, love
biscuit...
don't forget to put those
beers in the fridge so...
...they're nice and icy
cold when I get home. K?
Later later!
Pants!
Hey.
You want to see my ID?
No.
Thank you, sir.
Hi!
Hey. What're you having?
How about a "Bully Wheat. "
There you go.
Thanks.
You know I'm good for it.
Yeah.
That's just wrong.
...no, this is not "new age,"
this is older than time.
No, it's not "new age," but...
oh, Kirsten!
It's my friend Kirsten!
Kirsten, hey! Twice in one day,
huh?
The odds.
So I want you to meet my
friends Doug and Charity.
- What's up?
- Hi.
They're in town from Boulder.
Of course they are.
So anyway, it's kind of lucky we ran
into you like this, because uh...
Doug and Charity need a place
to crash tonight...
Yeah, maybe load up on a
"twelve-r" of Stag and hang out?
Sorry guys, couch is taken.
Oh, no. Um...
Seriously, Katie's cousin's up from Lamar,
she's going to theater camp at Stephens.
They're doing "Pippin. "
That's... that's actually
not what I was going to say,
I was just going to
say that... um, maybe...
I'm just saying that maybe we
can think outside the box here,
maybe if you had a backyard
where we could lay down a tarp,
or pitch a tent?
No fucking way.
Maybe you know about any affordable
camping spots around here?
At least something with public showers and
hopefully not crawling with rapists, but...
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Um, sorry?
Hey, is that Kirsten?
Kirsten! Hey you'ze!
Yes. Hi!
I don't know if I've properly
introduced you to Beth.
Beth, this is my esteemed chum
Kirsten.
"Esteemed. "
Nice to meet you.
Totally.
You just moved here from
Baltimore?
Yes. My aunt works at MU,
so I had an opportunity...
...to join up at the journalism school...
...so, yeah.
That's cool. I mean, it's a
good program and, uh...
...it's a great time to be in
journalism with all the...
...stuff that's going on and
everything, so that sounds like a...
...really choice opportunity!
Cool, thanks!
File under "ironic coincidences," but my
aunt Barb lives in Columbia, Maryland.
Get out!
There's a Columbia, Maryland?
Have you been to visit her?
No, but I thought about it.
She teaches sign language to deaf and
hearing kids in integrated classrooms.
Wow. That's great!
We were just going to go
home because we couldn't...
...figure out anything
else to do tonight...
Tell me about it.
Did you want to go get a drink
at Eastside?
No!
No, I don't. I, uh...
Come to think of it, though...
...Beth here is new in town and
maybe we should just take her
to one of Columbia's more "off the
beaten path" kind of destinations?
Like what?
I'm talking McNally's!
McNally's?
Yes! Oh, my God. McNally's has quickly
endeared itself to me in so many ways.
Really.
I'm game!
I could have sworn it was right
here...
That's Tony's!
I have to pee.
I told you it was on Sixth
Street.
I know.
Why wouldn't you listen?
I thought you said this was
your new favorite hangout.
Was? Is. New champion.
How's everyone doing?
Great!
Another one of these for me,
please.
And can I get you guys anything?
Actually...
...do you think I could a
ginger ale with bitters?
You know what? That sounds good,
I'll have one of those too.
Great. Well, I'm going to go and
figure out what a "bitters" is, but...
I'll be right back!
Cheers!
So, Kristen...
Kirsten.
It's Kirsten.
I hear you work at
Shakespeare's.
Indubitably. I work the lunch
rush Monday through Friday.
Mike tells me it's something of
a rite of passage around here.
Yeah, it's like, "take your
pick," you know?
Do you deliver sandwiches for
the Sub Shop,
do you tear tickets at the
Ragtag...
"Do you sleep around at the
Ranch?"
Do you end up bussing tables at
Ernie's?
You know, "take your pick. "
Well, I don't know what the
Ranch is, but...
...I do think it's a little weird
that you would allow your identity
to be so wrapped up in the
social cachet
of a job in the service sector.
What she said.
Well, yes and no, I mean, like
...when I first moved to town I
didn't know anyone. So...
...and I think it's like that
for a lot of people, like...
...the friends you first meet
through work,
and then through friends at
work, and then...
And before you realize
it, all of these things...
...have come to define
who you are as a person.
"McNally's!"
McNally's was pretty awesome.
So you were just going to walk
home?
Well, it's more of a
moonlight constitutional...
...than a neighborly stroll, I suppose...
...but it's a nice night for
it!
Mike! Let's listen to records!
Nice to meet you!
Nighty night.
Oh, shit.
"Sub Shop. "
Is it too late to order
delivery with a credit card?
"We stopped taking orders like
half an hour ago, so... "
God damn it!
It's Pepper time!
"You're watching KOMU-TV 8. Live
... It's Pepper and Friends. "
That puppy is so cute!
Pepper.
This show.
"Good morning! Welcome to our show. Monday
the 25th, it is Thanksgiving week... "
"And didn't we dodge that snow?"
"Oh, yeah. But it's
cold outside! It is cold.
If you're going to go out
...if you haven't been outside
yet... man, you go outside and
you might be in for a surprise,
so bundle up warmly. "
"When you bundle up, you
usually do bundle up warmly. "
"Yeah, warmly. Thursday we're
not going to be here... "
"... I want you to meet them
all by name. Here we have... "
- "I'm Josh. "
- "I'm Jeff. "
"Now there's one guy who's missing.
Where is the other one?"
"He couldn't make it today. "
"Then you're playing the spoons
... is that for this song?"
"And then you all have jingle
bells?"
"A little bit of rhythm. "
"And you're just playing... "
- "Just a plain old electric guitar. "
- "Okay. "
"No gimmicks!"
Cheers to you, Jeff Carrillo!
You're so cute!
I totally know where you're
coming from.
Except when did you guys end up
signing with K Records?
It was fall of 2007.
They heard our last album on Cold
Crush, and they liked what they heard,
and we knew each other from all
the requisite industry shindigs,
and you know, it was a natural
fit.
That is so cool.
Yeah, I remember walking into
Salt of the Earth and picking up
that first Dub Narcotic
seven-inch and taking it home,
and it was like... wow.
Yeah.
You mind if we have a seat?
These heels are killing me.
Okay.
...I thought, you know this is so
corny, but just for a brief second,
"maybe I'll put a record out on
K one day," you know,
just oozing childish naivet.
Well, here's to the intersection
of fantasy and reality, right?
Cheers.
Life's a funny thing sometimes.
It's so funny! You know,
because, like, well...
...I never harbored any
ambition of being, you know,
an internationally renowned
recording artist or anything...
"Down, boy. "
...no, but seriously.
I used to write the music reviews
for my high school paper,
and I couldn't carry a tune or play
an instrument to save my life, but...
...I always thought, you know,
maybe I could still contribute
to the scene in some meaningful
way, like work for a Thrill Jockey
or a K Records or a Touch and
Go. You know?
If you're willing to
roll up your sleeves and...
...put in your hours at
the "merch" table...
I am so up for it! Seriously.
All right, here's what I'm
thinking. You got a pen?
Pen. Uh... wait, pocket? No.
Hold on one second.
Excuse me! Does anyone have a
pen?
Anything I could use to write
with...
Sharpie!
I was thinking you should maybe
give Calvin Johnson a call.
Really?
Yeah, I mean maybe he doesn't have
anything percolating at the moment,
but you could just introduce yourself,
do the whole "hi-how-you-doing" routine
and see where it goes.
Wow. I mean...
that would be amazing, to be a part
of the whole K Records enterprise!
Cool. All right, are you ready?
I am! Okay, shoot!
360- 555...
Hang on, let me try that again.
I don't know. Just one more try...
360- 555...
...7777.
Um, no.
Okay, I don't... I don't understand.
You know what? Just tell it to me.
I have a killer memory and...
it's... you know.
A killer memory.
It's a little safety deposit
box up there.
360- 555- 7777.
7777. Got it.
Not even going to write it down.
Nope!
360- 555- 7777. I got it.
Well, it was nice to meet you,
Kirsten.
You too! And you know, if you guys
are ever in town... hook me up!
You got it! All right, bye.
Take care of yourself...
...Jeff Carrillo.
360- 555...
360...
Holy fuck!
God damn it!
Fuck!
Fuck off and die!
Word!
You understand what I'm saying!
We need to do something because nobody...
...understands what is
happening with the workers!
Just a regular old coffee to go.
It's gonna be $1.87.
Sorry.
It's fine.
I swear that I wasn't trying to
Fuck you, fuck off, eat a fucking
dick, I don't fucking care!
Don't fucking talk to me!
Pizza for Stacey with an E-Y. Stacey with
an E-Y, come and get your pizza already.
Would you like something to
drink with that?
I would, please. How about a
Stag?
No problem.
That will be $3.75, please.
Keep the change.
Have a great day!
Thanks.
Hey guys.
Hey there!
Cookie and a soda... cookie
and no soda?
Water's fine.
You know, you guys really should ask your
parents for a little extra lunch money.
I mean, I'm sure they're willing to
spring for the occasional soda pop...
You know, I'm sorry.
No, no... it's fine.
No, I shouldn't have said that.
It's fine... for the both of us,
uh... keep the change! Thanks.
Do you take Discover?
I can't, I'm sorry, I have to
go pick up Beth from school
and then drive her to her
meeting.
Meeting? What kind of meeting?
It's, uh... the kind of meeting
where people go and exchange ideas.
Usually while seated.
You are not cool!
Yeah, I am.
No way, it's... too far.
Please tell me you take
Discover.
Grumble.
Shit!
Please tell me he is not bartending
at his own going away party.
Yep! That's Jeremy for you.
...there's a story by Miranda
July about a dog named Potato...
Hey Straub!
Oh. Hey, Kirsten. Talk to
Jeremy yet?
Oh. Nah, he looks all busy,
embroiled in conversation, and...
Hey, Kirsten.
Hey, Jeremy.
You look like you need a drink!
You know what, I'm good right
now, thanks.
So I was going to ask you about
that job that you asked me about...
Oh, yeah... Katie's picking up
that shift.
Really?
Yeah, she's hungry for it,
she's good to go, and...
...I detected a sense of, shall
we say,
tentativeness in my response to
my original inquiry?
Right.
Okay, that's fair, I guess.
Thanks anyway!
...just as dirty, right?
Because you know how linoleum,
in the cracks and the creases
of it, it just gets dirty
and you can't get it out no
matter how hard you scrub,
even with bleach? I hate that.
So then I was...
Hey.
Fuck off.
I bought groceries!
Well, hoo-fucking-ray.
So I guess you talked to Straub
today.
Yeah, and I talked to Dennie
today. Just so you know.
Okay.
I'm buying the house. It's
mine. The house is mine.
Really.
Yeah, well, fuck it, I mean...
I'm practically paying Dennie's
mortgage as it is
and I figured why not cut out
the middleman, you know?
Right.
I mean, I'm months away from settling,
but it's practically a done deal.
Okay, cool.
Could you at least not be such a total
bitch about it between now and then?
Wow! Uh... sure, why not?
Thanks, Katie!
You're welcome.
So I was thinking tile. I could
do that myself...
Oh, hey Kirsten. Where you
going?
I'm going to fucking McNally's!
Is that for real?
Yeah, they're leftover from
Halloween.
Let's giddy up.
Hey! How much for the whole
shirt? I want it.
Get lost!
Yeah, real mature.
Yeah, get your old ass out of
here!
I ain't leaving 'til I got that
shirt.
I got sixteen bucks, so that's
like sixteen sucks?
Strike three, captain.
Oh, come on!
That guy, huh?
Welcome to my world.
Thank you. I love your world.
Hey, "wrong way"...
What?
...I mean "Wang Mei"! I mean...
...get us another round of
"pink tacos," will you?
Copy that.
How many more of those?
What the hell is a "pink taco"?
It's... Knockov orange,
Knockov strawberry,
Knockov raspberry, Knockov sour
apple...
Basically it's a pint of vodka.
With cranberry and sour.
That's nutty.
Hey, we're going to go grab a
smoke. Can you watch our drinks?
You got it.
Killer.
No shit!
Where'd they go?
Just out for a smoke, but...
I'm ready to settle up.
You're not going to start a tab?
Not tonight.
All right, well have a good
night!
Lynn!
Hey.
Small world!
Yep!
What's up?
I was just going to check out McNally's,
I got a coupon... "Ad Sheet"!
It's a cool place, I like it a
lot.
Hey, you know what? I just
wanted to let you know that
I'm really sorry that I disappointed
you and your friends the other night,
I've just been fighting a ton
with Katie
and just couldn't handle a
couple more people at my house.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah... they're gone, they took
off late last night, to...
Champaign to go crash at his
cousin's, so you know...
Hey listen, if your coupon's still
good for another couple of days,
I have something in this bag
that you might take a shine to.
Shall we?
Except... where are we going to get a
"whip-it cracker" at this time of night?
We could always stop by the
Olde Un.
I have an idea! "Andiamo!"
Kirsten, shit! What's up?
We've come to party, earthlings.
You brought a friend, it's...
Lynn, right?
Didn't I give you a lift home
from Mojo's the other night?
"Absolutement!"
Can I get you ladies anything to drink?
I got some stones in the fridge.
Hells yes!
That's pretty awesome...
they're not cold or nothin,
but they're pretty expensive,
so...
...here you go.
Is he going to be OK?
Yeah, he's fine. That's just
Brantly,
just fucking passed out drunk.
Ever since he got this disgusting
nipple piercing at Dreamcatcher,
it's like he won't put his shirt
back on for nothin', and...
it's like he's showing off his fucking
engagement ring or some shit.
Check this out, hold on.
What the fuck?
Motherfucker!
You can't stay in there
forever, man, I live here now!
Fuck, man!
What the fuck you crazy bitches
want?
We brought "whip-its"!
That sounds pretty good,
actually.
Hey, I'm sorry I called you all
a bunch of crazy bitches...
you saw that fucker put hot
sauce in my shit!
You know what would really help that,
actually? Some fresh aloe vera.
Yeah, well, you know what would
be really good?
Some nitrous oxide in my lungs
and brains, "yo. "
Okay, you got a "whip-it
cracker"?
Oh, yeah!
Sweet.
Oh, shit. Balloons!
We got some balloons leftover
from Dawson's birthday party!
Yeah, I know how to treat the
ladies.
So, Brantly, you know my
friend, Lynn?
What's up? I'm Brantly.
"Avec plaisir. "
What, are you from Mexico or
some shit?
Hey, you guys ever seen, like,
mixed martial arts fighting?
I'm into that shit, man, I
fucking rock out, man...
What're you doing? Give me that.
Bunch of amateurs!
Show you how it's done... show
you how we do it!
Oh! It's cold, it's cold.
Why, thank you madam.
Dude. I'm fucking flyin', man,
like...
Come to Kirsten!
I want my wings!
Oh my God!
You all ever go out to the
country, like, late at night,
and like, listen to bullfrogs
and shit?
Man... they talk to you, dude.
God damn.
Hey, Kirsten...
...do you remember that weekend when
we went looking for the red fern?
It was because we'd both just read
"Where the Red Fern Grows"...
...and I borrowed your dad's
hacksaw from the garage
because we thought that if we
cut down the red fern,
we would be rich for the rest of
our lives?
I needed seven stitches.
I know.
On the way to Columbia General,
though, your mom...
...have I told you this story
before?
We were speeding down I-70...
...and I remember seeing this
station wagon...
this white station wagon. It
was over in the right lane,
and it was kind of wobbling, like
something was wrong with the tire.
And all of a sudden, it skidded
and hit the shoulder...
ran over the grass, and just
plunged into...
...into oblivion, I guess.
But, your mom... I remember
your mom,
I looked at her and I said, "Mrs.
Reister, shouldn't we stop?"
She just looked at me and she
said,
"no, honey, we have to get you
to the hospital. "
And just kept driving.
Really? With all that blood and
everything?
So, but... you said she was
good?
She and my dad got a divorce right after I
graduated school and moved to Columbia.
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Where does she live now?
I can't remember.
Don't you talk to her?
Oh, you know, I honestly doubt
she wants to hear
that her daughter is a drunk-driving
fuck-up with a suspended license
and $30,000 worth of credit
card debt.
Last call. Any takers?
They're all mine.
You know what, guys...
it's times like this that you really start
to learn stuff about life, you know?
It's like... you can finally
get a handle on shit, you know,
everything's so hard everyday
and then...
...suddenly, it's all better.
Holy shit! Kirsten!
Whoopsies.
No, Kirsten, don't! Because
you're going to...
Damn!
God!
Oh, man. That ain't good.
Okay, stay right there, okay?
Lynn?
Oh my God, Lynn. How bad is it?
What the fuck is going on in
here?
Kirsten, this doesn't look so
good.
Damn. You got to get that bitch
to the ER, "yo. "
Seek medical attention and shit.
No!
We walked here!
You can just use my bike!
Todd!
Todd!
I need to borrow your car.
Todd!
I'm so embarrassed I want to
die.
Lynn, I don't know how many times
I have to ask, but please...
Just, you know, don't talk!
It's going to be fine!
No it isn't, I can't afford
this shit! Just please, just...
turn around and take me home,
okay?
Maybe we could just call
your Aunt Barb, you know?
She's always been cool.
No! You can't do that, please!
We don't have to tell her what really
happened. You could just...
tell her that you ran into a
door or something, I don't know.
Please don't, Lynn. Just promise
me you won't do that, okay?
Do you take Discover?
Um, hi.
Is this Kirsten's Aunt Barb?
Kirsten Reister. Yes.
Um, I'm a friend of your niece's, you
probably don't remember me, but I...
I'm here with Kirsten right
now, we're at the hospital...
no, she'll be fine.
She just had a little bit of an
accident, and...
no, no, she'll be fine.
I was just calling, actually,
because I was wondering if...
maybe I could get your credit
card information
and give it to these nice folks
here at the hospital?
Yeah.
No, no, you're right, it...
it doesn't seem sketchy,
doesn't it?
Yeah, you know...
maybe you were right, maybe we
should just get out of here.
All I want, Lynn, is just a big
Band-Aid for my face.
Please!
It's really starting to clot...
...I bet that it's going to
scab in a couple of days, and...
in a week, or in a month...
you'll look great!
It's bleeding through a little
bit, so...
I'm just going to get that guy.
Okay, that's better... right?
It's a little bit better, right?
You know what?
I'm going to call you tomorrow.
And I'm going to stop by.
Feel better, okay?
My life is over.
You look pretty "beat the fuck
up" there, Kirsten.
Seriously, what happened?
Um, I think that... if I'm not
fired already, I quit.
No, no... listen.
We're concerned. I'm concerned.
We just want to know...
Can we all just please act like none
of this ever happened ever, please?
I have to go.
Kirsten?
Come on. Open up, I can smell
you!
Okay. I was just kidding. Open
up.
Seriously. Open up.
You're making me worried and
I'm getting pissed off. Okay?
Where is my fucking phone?
Hello?
Kirsten?
Oh. Hi. Aunt Barb.
Well. I'm on-line looking at flights into
Lambert. I'll probably just end up
getting a rental car at the airport.
And if you need me to...
No. Please, Aunt Barb! Please,
please don't do that.
How do I get a call like that and
not want to come and see you?
There's just really no need for
it.
What do I have going on that's more
pressing than being your Aunt Barb?
I don't know. Stuff?
If you weren't okay. You'd let
me know, wouldn't you?
I am one-hundred percent "okie-dokie. "
Aunt Barb. Double pinkie swear.
And if that ever changes.
You'll let me know, right?
I will. I swear.
You know. You were always such a
headstrong and outgoing child, Kirsten.
But I worry because I just don't see that
outgoing side of you so much anymore.
The headstrong part is still
alive and well!
Doesn't surprise me that your mom
never could keep up with you.
Hey. You remember that time I took you
to that matinee of "Herbie Goes Bananas"
at the Forum and you were so determined
to go to the restroom all by yourself.
But then you got locked in the
I love you Aunt Barb. But I'm
hanging up on you.
Jesus.
Still. You've got to admit...
...it makes for a really funny
story.
Fuck off!
Sorry.
Whatever.
I just came by to see if I could borrow
your internet. I have to send an email.
Sure. Beth's hanging out over
there if you want to stop by.
Thanks.
Hey.
I don't mean to interrupt...
...and I know it's none of my
business...
...but I just thought I would
say...
...I've done some stupid stuff.
Too, you know.
Excuse me?
I don't mean it like that.
I really don't. I just...
...I've been through some pretty
serious shit in my life. Too.
The kind of stuff you don't
always feel
like sharing over polite dinner
conversation.
If you get my drift.
So. I just thought I would let
you know that
if you ever get to a point where you
feel like you've lost control...
I'll let you know.
You got it.
"You're listening to 89.5 KOPN
in Columbia. Missouri. "
"The show tonight is Women's
Issues. Women's Voices
and I'm your host Corri Flaker. "
We have a special guest on
tonight.
Her name is Lynn Marie and
she's from New Franklin.
Say hi. Lynn!
Hi!
I was just thinking that. Since
it's your first show,
what do you want to talk about?
Okay. First of all. Corri, I guess
I just want to thank you for
giving me an opportunity to intern
here and be a part of this station
because I think it's a really
special place.
In my life. You know I'm from
New Franklin
and I spent a lot of my life in
a pretty dark place.
And just sort of feeling stuck.
And judging myself...
...and just recently. I don't
know, something just changed,
and I've been able to embrace
the positivity.
And since I've done that. I've
started interning here, you know,
I started doing ecstatic dance.
Which is just a conduit
to become more positive and
more aware. And...
...I just ramble. Sorry!
But I guess. Yeah, I like positivity.
That's what I'd like to talk about.
You know. Thank you so much for
getting back to me,
that was really incredibly cool
of you.
Hey. No problem.
So what's up?
I'm sure you probably inferred this
from the email that I sent you. But...
...I would really love to help
you guys out on your tour.
I mean. If you'd have me.
I personally am not a fan of last-minute
additions to the tour staff.
It's pretty cramped in the van
already.
Yeah. Right.
Listen. Don't get me wrong, you seem
like a nice person and everything...
Here's what I was thinking.
Right?
You know. You guys are kicking
your tour off in Chicago, right?
Right.
Okay. So. What if I meet you
guys in Chicago and,
you know what. I just keep an eye
on your CDs and T-shirts and stuff
and make sure nobody runs off
with them. And then...
you know. I could help schlep gear
and stuff to your van, and...
as long as maybe I'm not a
total pain in the ass.
I could graduate to some
ride-along detail.
I mean. You know... I'm also
really flexible,
I could probably try to get
rides to the next show.
I'm a resourceful girl!
I mean. If you want to help out
at the show in Chicago,
I'm not going to tell you "no. "
Even that. You have no idea
what this would mean to me.
Yeah. I don't want to speak for
the other guys, but...
if you cart as much gear as
everybody else.
I'm sure they'll be cool with
it.
Yeah. You can count on me for
that. You know, I'm good.
Then. That's awesome!
Um. Give me a call if you need
to check in, otherwise...
...I'll see you next week?
Totally. See you then!
All right. I'll see you later.
Okay. So what's the address
again?
It's "mike4204ever" at
bluntster dot com.
B- L-U-N-T-S-T-E-R dot com. Got
it.
So I will email you from the road and
let you know how things are going.
Sure thing.
Okay.
And. Uh, thanks for letting me
store my vinyl at your place.
No sweat. You could say it's a
mutually beneficial arrangement.
All right. Wish me luck!
Bye!
Nice!
Amazing!
I know!
Lynn. I can't thank you enough
for this.
You would not believe the
amount of convincing I had to do
to get Todd to sign off on this.
Count me as grateful and
appreciative.
Todd. Right?
At least something good came of
all this.
Shotgun!
Later later. Columbia! Road
trip!
Mom.
Honey! Hey!
It's good to see you.
What took you so long?
Well. That's a complicated
question.
Honey. I'm sorry. It doesn't
matter. Really.
So Aunt Barb told me that
you're living in Cedar Rapids.
How long has that been?
Almost four years. Can you
believe it?
Yeah. I can. It's been a long
time. Except that...
Time passes so quickly. Right?
Well. I'm having a glass of the
shiraz. How about you?
I can't even remember the last
time I had a drink before sundown.
Oh. Kirsten, I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to put you on the spot or anything.
No. Mom, it's fine.
Sounds good. I'll have one too.
Hey ladies.
Hi.
Can I start you off with
something to drink?
Yes. We're going to have two
glasses of the shiraz, please.
- Okay. I'll be right back.
- Thank you.
So Aunt Barb tells me that
you're back in Columbia
and you're working with some
local record label?
Aunt Barb sure does love to
talk!
Yeah!
Yeah. I just started out as a
filing clerk, and then...
I was managing the on-line
division. And then...
I was balancing the books. And
then...
Yeah?
Well. Now... I'm the vice
president of business affairs.
Wow. Really? Well well!
It's a vanity title.
Hey. You were never one to promote
your achievements. Bully for you!
So. Uh... what's the label
called?
Emergency Umbrella.
Well. That's a peculiar name.
But. It doesn't matter.
Kirsten...
...I'm really proud of you.
Are there any bands on the label
that I might have heard about?
Bald Eagle?
No.
Just goes to show you how out
of touch your mom is.
Gosh. I wonder where our drinks
are.
Kirsten.
Hey. Kirsten!
Kirsten!
I didn't want you to miss this.
"Quel tableau. N'est-ce pas?"
"Mais oui. "