Smoking Guns (2016) Movie Script

[man sobbing]
[sobbing continues]
[Jack] Gambling's got nothing
to do with making money.
It's about winning and losing.
[hard rock music]
[Jack] Dear God, I come to you
in my hour of need,
not as a Christian, Muslim,
Jew or Hindu,
just me, Jack Cameron.
I ain't given up yet,
even though you've
ignored me for years.
I now realize for
you to truly hear me,
I have to fear nothing and risk
more than my job seekers allowance.
What you betting on, horses?
Yeah, Carlton fancies
the favorite, two-to-one.
Two-to-one, that's a
rich man's prize isn't it?
[Jack] Today, I truly
put my faith in you.
I'll risk the fall so I can
know how it feels to fly.
The bet of my life.
Don't chase the big wins like
the rest of the loser's in here.
Stay sharp, bet smart.
Fuck it, you're right.
[Jack] I have the
right to risk my own life
if it means I have a
chance of saving it.
[guys speaking indistinct]
I'm chasing more
than a castrated bet
like a two-to-one favorite.
I need more than a
stay of execution.
I have to have the strength
to go all the way
if I want to cut the
shackles of contentment
and take the walk to
glory and success.
Today, I'm finally ready
to battle through my fear
in a place I feel closest to
you, my place of worship.
Where I'm surrounded by my
fellow brothers of faith.
Punters whose cries
for help are heard
as often as the sound
of a silver ball
spinning on the
roulette machines.
The bookies,
where I've gone from a scared
16-year-old boy, frightened of putting
a pound on a ten-team accumulator,
To putting my life
on the line for the bet
that would change my life
and make it worth living.
If this wins, everything
I've ever done in my life
up until this point
has become a stepping stone
in the journey of achievement.
Another loss,
and everything I've ever done
has been worthless, meaningless,
and I will disappear
from the book of life.
Another loser from
around the way...
[chuckles] You trying to
close us down again love?
[Jack] ...who won't be missed.
Good luck.
[announcer] And Rocket Fuel,
the favorite,
has made a terrible start,
he's already lost by one
and Paradise Lost has
absolutely flown from the gate.
He's bolting clear!
Fucking come on Rocket Fuel.
Fucking actual fucking
bollocks, Yiannis.
Fucking listening
to you, that is.
It was just a freak race.
If they ran that race
100 times over
our horse
would have won 99 times.
We were just unlucky.
No one predicted the winner
of that race, no one.
[man] Jack. Jack.
[Jack] You gotta be strong
to survive hell,
and even stronger if
you wanna get out.
There's no room for weakness
on the road to success.
Go on, fuck off, fucking muck.
- You fucking shit your pants.
- No, I fucking never.
- Fucking did.
- Didn't.
You did pants it a bit, mate.
I didn't fucking
pants it though.
Why didn't you Wung Fu him?
Fuck off, Yiannis, I'll fucking
Wung Fu you, brother.
What would your fucking old man
would have done if it
happened to him, man?
He'd have fucking kicked
the shit out of him.
- Exactly.
- I know, alright. I fucking know, just leave it.
You need to fucking
man up, man, seriously.
Fuck off,
I've had enough of you boys.
Leave him...
What do you want? What?
I'm at a friend's house, Mom.
I'm not at the fucking bookies,
I told you I'm at
a friend's house.
Mom, I've told you
a thousand times
I don't want to go to
work with me dad, do I?
I don't wanna work in a stinky fucking
fish and chip shop, do I? Fuck that.
Okay, so I won't ask you for
a penny from now on then, aye?
Alright then,
I tell you what then
you can stuff your fucking
money you selfish bitch.
Ian's at that strange age
when you're suddenly
expected to grow up
and become the man
your father is.
But Ian ain't ready
to grow up just yet.
Jack, Jack, where
did your horse come?
Fuck knows.
Well, you gonna
fucking check it?
Or give me the name
and I'll check it for you.
What you, you won?
He didn't win a penny.
Was it, Jack,
was that your horse,
Paradise Lost nine-to-one?
[Jack] Yeah.
[Ian] One down two to go, boys.
Jack, you're gonna sort me out
if it comes off wouldn't you?
Course I will.
How much you gonna
give me if it comes off?
I dunno 20 grand?
But I'd force you
to enroll in some
kind of college course
or something.
I wouldn't just
give you the cash
'cause I know what
you'd do with it.
Yeah, man, I'd sort you out.
Guess who, bitches?
[upbeat music]
Yes, Paul,
what's happening, mate?
Last Friday of the
month already, pal?
[speaking indistinct]
your face.
Who done that to you?
Well, someone needs to
get fucked up don't they?
I'm up for a fight.
I mean, I haven't had
a fight for 17 years
but for you, Jack,
I'd come out of retirement.
That wasn't you,
you little shit, was it?
How you doing, brother?
- Alright, yeah.
- Yeah, good.
I had a crash this morning
didn't I, just outside.
Yeah, if he didn't
hit the lamp post,
he would have driven
straight through the window
- and probably killed us all.
- Oh, don't tell me.
You was rushing to put
on a bet weren't you?
Hey, hey, what was
it a hot tip, was it?
Yeah, yeah, something
like that, Paul, yeah.
You maniac.
Hey, mate, heard about
your cousin Chris, yeah.
Very sorry to hear that
he was a lovely bloke,
he was a top man,
and I know you two was close.
Yeah, yeah, we weren't
that close at the time,
but, yeah, we were close
as kids, you know what I mean.
Oh, sure, sure,
it couldn't have been
that much of a
shock really was it?
What with him being
so fat and everything.
You can't say that shit, man.
Well, hopefully you'll last a bit
longer than you did last month, Paul.
You were in and out
of here within an hour.
[chuckles] Yeah, well,
none of us can buy back
our past can we Yiannis, hey?
Good to see you.
How's the life of contentment
been treating you?
Phyllis, can you make
me a lovely steaming hot
cup of coffee please,
love, yeah?
Likely need lots of caffeine.
And stick some sugars
in it, five sugars, yeah.
We ain't got any sugar.
Got some of this sweetener,
tastes just like sugar.
Do you want a few drops of that?
Are you on fucking
crack or something?
Sugar substitute
got aspartame in it
and anyone who knows anything, knows
aspartame gives you brain tumors.
I mean, it ain't bad
enough they wanna
take all our money
but her, this one,
she's trying to fry my
fucking brain, as well.
Oh, sod off, it ain't that bad.
And, anyway, I don't want any
distractions around me, alright?
I'm on a diet.
Oh, I didn't realize
you was on a diet,
oh, you're on a diet
sorry about that.
Well, I'm not you fat cunt,
so put some sugar in me coffee.
Alright, lads, so I tell you
what I'm buzzing you, Yiannis.
I'm a bit buzzing 'cause
I had a very good month.
I don't like to boast
but I'm gonna, right.
I've sold five houses,
four flats,
a bungalow to some sweet
little gray haired old lady.
She's looking
for the downstairs,
she's looking for the upstairs,
there ain't one it's
a fucking bungalow.
I've got 1,500 pound
in my pocket,
which I'm telling you,
right now, I'm gonna stick
a couple of zero's
on the end of that
by closing time
tonight 'cause me,
I'm ready to fucking gamble.
Let's get ready to gamble!
Yes! So, who else has done what?
Come on, who's done their balls,
who's made a bit of money?
Well, Jack, took a bit
out of the roulette
and stuck it on a
treble didn't he?
You stuck it on a treble?
Yeah, but listen, if all
three horses come in...
- Yeah? - ...half a
million quid over it.
His first horse just
fucking come in...
Your first horse has...
So what that's why
you wanna stick it on
a single then isn't it?
Because horse trebles
never come in.
You never know, Paul.
Mate, it ain't ever
coming in, you know that.
Come on, who else has done what?
What have you done?
I could never have a job.
Never work for a wage
and have a boss.
It's the breeding
ground of contempt,
and the steady process
of ending dreams
and settling for a life
of watching the pennies.
Marrying the first girl
you meet, getting fat,
having kids,
watching your wife get fat,
raising your kids
'til they get a job
and meet a girl, get married,
get fat and have more kids.
It's the wage slave
circle of life.
In constant sorrow
all through his days
I am a man
of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble
all my days
Yeah, alright?
Yeah, I've dug the foundation.
Yeah, it was two hours,
like I said.
Well, how far away are you?
I need my wages ASAP.
Don't suppose you could give me a lift up
the high street? I'm running really late.
I'm sorry mate,
it's a two seater.
I am a man
of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble
all my days
[people chattering]
I bid farewell
to old Kentucky
The place where
I was born and raised
The place where he
was born and raised
In constant sorrow
And they're racing.
And Heart Attack is
off to a good start
and God Loves A Grafter
has failed
to come out of the stalls,
he's refused to race.
The chief threat to the favorite
is not taking part,
and Heart Attack
now has an uncontested lead,
with May's Boy Macy in second...
[Jack] Chris's death hurt me.
Not because we were close, I
couldn't stand the fat wanker.
It's just fucked up how insignificant
a loser's life can be.
[upbeat music]
Excuse me, sir,
I've a laptop out the back.
Would you be interested
in buying it off me?
I'm losing my money my
brother, leave me alone, man.
Excuse me, sir,
brother I tell you
I've a brand new
laptop out the back
and I'm selling it cheap,
would you be interested in it?
Bugger off.
Excuse me, I've a
laptop out the back
if you'd be interested
in buying it off me.
- Are you sure now?
- I'm more than sure.
Brand new, top of the range,
you know...
Sorry, man,
I don't want one of them.
Any youse gentlemen
interested in buying a laptop?
Brand new, laptop bag for it,
the whole lot.
No thanks, mate.
For how much?
3.5 G hertz processor,
16 gigabyte ram,
one terabyte solid state drive,
that's 3,000 pounds in any
of the high streets you go to.
Now she's top of
the range quad core.
Give me 150 pound for it
and it's yours.
So it works properly
an all that, does it?
Of course it works,
she's brand new,
look, she's top of the range.
I give you 50 quid, yeah?
Let's meet in
the middle shall we?
100 pound and I can't
go a penny less.
[Ian] Okay, mate, 100 quid, and
it better not fucking break...
- What the fuck you think you're doing?
- Come here to me, fella...
100 pound's not enough,
250 at the very least.
Jesus, Mary and fucking Joseph,
pal, it's a brand new laptop.
Hang on a second, mate.
Your mate just said
100 quid for it, right?
A deal's a deal at the
end of the day, mate.
So, I mean, you can't go
back on the deal now, bruv.
100 pound or nothing.
Mick, I'm out there telling
the man 100 pound.
A deal is a deal, you should
have said something earlier on.
We're dealing with
savvy negotiators here.
I can see that, man.
Go on, you got yourself
a deal, 100 pound.
Sweet as a nut, brother.
Look you're leaving me
with a fucking fiver.
God bless you, God bless you.
I tell you what,
sorry about my friend, Mick.
But you got yourself a good
old deal there, 100 pound.
Credit to you, credit to you.
Anyway look I better be off before
you hustle the shirt of me back.
Cheers for that, mate.
[speaking indistinct]
[Ian] Cheers, mate.
[Ian yelling indistinct]
Glad we're alone
actually, Yian, man,
I gotta ask you for something.
I wish I could, mate, I'm skint.
No, no, it's not money,
mate, I make my own money.
What do you want from me then?
Well, look, I know you
know a lot of people,
some nicer than the
others and I was wondering
if you could introduce me to some of
the others, if you know what I mean.
Sorry, mate,
you completely lost me...
- I need to buy a gun.
- What?
[Jack] I want to feel the
preciousness of life and death
at the end of my index finger.
Hold my fate in my hand.
Yiannis knows everyone
from round here,
from the road sweepers to
the people with a few quid.
If anyone is going
to have a link
to a local arms dealer,
it'd be him.
Yiannis is a busy body
who gambles out
of boredom and
escape from his life
after his clothes factory went
bankrupt in the recession.
He spends his days hiding
from his miserable wife
who thinks he's out
searching for work,
when in reality, all he does
is give Ian bad advice,
bet like a feminine
prostitute on her period
and get on my nerves
in the process.
Try and learn something here.
Don't be like the rest
of the mugs in here.
- Always check the form.
- What at 12:40?
You're too late, man,
look they're nearly all in.
[Jack] Now as harmless
and content as Yiannis may be,
he loves nothing more than a
bit of bullshit, a tall tale.
He lives for that moment when he's got
someone's attention, usually Ian's,
and if he's not stopped,
could waffle on for hours
given the opportunity
to take center stage.
And if one lie is enough
to question all truths,
the thousands of lies he
has told me over the years
leaves me in no doubt
that it's bullshit,
even when some of
it might be true.
[Yiannis] I know someone,
some Albanian geezer.
Pipi, one word.
I've heard he plays cards
down the Shooters Club.
Oh, Yian, don't start
with all that bullshit.
Bektash and all the drug
mafioso's and all that.
Do you want my help or you
gonna carry on taking the piss?
You might even know him.
Little guy, big head?
Always doing his football
bets on Saturday morning?
No 'cause I have a sleep in
on Saturday morning don't I?
Oh, yeah, lazy.
Well, give me his number
and I'll be grateful, Yiannis,
I mean, I'll give
you a nice drink.
No, I don't want a drink.
I just don't want any of
this coming back to me okay?
I'll tell you what Yian.
It won't get back
to you alright,
I'll go on the meet and
that I'll sort it all out,
and I'll give you
a nice drink anyway.
But I won't have to mention
your name, alright?
I'll see what I can do.
What do you mean
you'll see what you can do?
You've got the number
on your phone ain't you?
Just give me the number
I'll sort it...
[Ian yelling indistinct]
Those fucking pikey,
fucking cunts!
It's your own fault,
I did try and warn you.
Here what, right.
If I ever see that
fucking gypo cunt again...
If you ever see those
gypos again, you'll what?
What do you mean what? I'll fucking
kick his fucking head in, bro.
[Yiannis] Yeah, right, son,
he would have mullered you.
I can fight, Yiannis,
looks can be deceiving, bro.
You can't fight
you're too small.
I might be fucking small, but I'm fucking
quick, bruv, do you know what I mean?
- You can't fight.
- Oi, don't forget I'm trained, bruv.
I've been doing Wung CHUN since
I was six years old, brother.
Honestly, I have,
me dad taught me, mate.
Didn't know I was a fucking
martial artist, did he?
You're brilliant, Ian.
- What is funny, aye?
- So you're old man's a Kung Fu master?
- I had no idea.
- Yeah, he's a fucking Sifu, bruv.
Ain't that a
little Japanese dog?
No, it's a martial arts
grand master, mate.
No, I'm sure it's a little dog.
I was gonna get one for Angelica
only the missus had a shit fit.
You're talking about a fucking
Shih Tzu, you fucking idiot.
Alright, show us a move.
I don't wanna fucking hurt
his brittle old bones, do I?
Go on, show us a move.
Bruce Lee managed to
give demonstrations
without hurting anybody so I'm sure
you'll be alright, son of Shih Tzu.
Alright then, fuck you.
Let me just...
Alright, throw a punch.
- You sure?
- Go on, fucking do it.
Go on then, bruv,
fucking throw a punch.
What are you doing, you fucking,
little Greek cunt?
You told me to.
Yeah, but you could have fucking
waited 'til I was ready,
you fucking Greek prick.
I'm fucking going in, before I fucking end
up hurting you by accident, you cunt.
[upbeat music]
Look at, him he's flying,
it's like he's got wings.
He's a Pegasus, he's beautiful,
look at him... Oh, come on.
You should of just paid
a single like I told you.
But, no, as always
you have to get
too greedy for your own good.
You gonna give me this... the
number of this bloke, or what?
You don't need to worry about making
a couple of hundred quid from that.
You think you're gonna make
half a million quid. [chuckles]
- Well, until then.
- Come on!
My, oh my, oh my.
Go on, call him, I'm curious
to see what sort of world
my daughter's
really growing up in.
So can I borrow the phone?
What's wrong with your phone?
I've got no credit,
I'm on Pay As You Go.
A man making 250 quid bets
should at least have a little
bit of credit on his phone.
Fucking idiot, go on, call him.
250 quid bet,
1,400-to-one shots,
I've never seen anything
like it in my life.
It's a novelty bet at the most...
It's ringing.
[upbeat music]
[phone buzzing]
Answer the fucking phone.
I'm trying to concentrate here.
Stay a bit longer, Bektash,
please don't go.
You have already paid
my wife's new kitchen.
Let me lose a
little back to you.
I'm starting to feel guilty.
- Answer the fucking phone!
- Okay, man.
Who's this?
Where you get my number from?
Yiannis, I don't know
any Yiannis.
Who the fuck is Yiannis?
Oh, okay, okay, Greek Yiannis
who owned the clothes factory.
Tell him he's a...
Why he not phone me,
do introduction first?
Okay, fuck it,
business is business, I suppose.
We are in recession,
I'll take a risk on you.
How much money
do you wanna spend?
150 pound, so you wanna
buy a replica version?
Okay, no problem, you come talk
to me, we sort something out.
You know the Shooters Club?
Shooters Club, yeah?
I'm just about
two minutes from there.
Yeah, just in the bookies
there, on the parade.
How long should I be, mate?
Oh, you're,
you're coming here, yeah?
- No, no, no.
- Put your football bets on.
[mouthing words]
Not here, not here.
Alright, mate.
I'm with Yiannis,
so you'll, you'll...
- No.
- You'll recognize Yiannis.
Alright, how long, mate?
Alright, I see you
in a minute, bruv, yeah? Bye.
He's coming here?
You shouldn't have
told him to come here.
What did I tell you?
Don't shit where you eat.
I told you.
I'm fucking a shark.
I should be on television,
Deal the fucking cards.
Sorry, boys, I have to go,
some business.
[clears throat]
No, Bektash,
I'm not a drug dealer.
But if I was,
or ever decide to do drugs,
I'll come to you first
out of respect.
Hi, mate, any luck?
Oh, look, 33. Put 33, mate.
[Jack] Look at Ian,
he can't help himself can he?
Oh, shit.
Do you know who that is?
Who the bloke Ian's bothering?
No, who is he?
You know when you told Ian
that he's gonna fuck with the wrong
bloke's game one of these days?
Raise 2,000.
I think I fold, too,
this seems personal.
Big boy bet from Big Bektash.
He's on tilt, I call.
I'm going, boys, good luck, yeah?
Lucas, good to see you.
[speaking in foreign language]
Ozan, see you later.
Oh, no, I told you.
I told you, listen to me.
Oh, my God, I know what I'm
talking about, mate, honestly.
It doesn't make a difference,
let the man play his game.
Yes, Yian,
but I told him put 33.
Look at the previous spins,
man, fucking obvious.
It's just a matter of luck
though, really, isn't it?
[Ozan] What do you want
to do Bektash, raise?
Yes, Ozan, I raise your flush with
two pair Ace, and King kicker.
[laughing hysterically]
- [Yiannis] Don't you know who that is?
- [lan] Who?
[Yiannis] That's Holt,
Richard fucking Holt.
You never heard of him?
Name rings a bell.
He's a big time coke dealer.
No fizzy drinks.
- What do you mean... aye?
- Yes, Ian, cocaine.
He's supposed to be a
right dangerous fucker.
In and out of prison
and you're telling him off
for not listening to your
stupid betting theories.
[Ian] He don't look that hard.
Billy the Mechanic
told me a crazy story...
Oh, a story by
Billy the Bullshitter?
Can't wait to hear this one.
Bill's alright,
what's your problem with Billy?
Nothing, just can't believe a word that
comes out of his mouth, that's all.
Shut up a minute, Jack,
I really want to hear this.
[Jack] Why is it always you that hears
all these colorful stories, Yian?
Like, last week it was
the story about fat Bektash
that comes in here and bets
on the Turkish football.
Now don't fuck with
Bektash and his crew.
They ain't no joke,
they're the real deal, mate.
What we are going to do now with
the unfortunate Ozan's money? Huh?
It wouldn't be fair for you to take the
pot just because you killed a gentleman.
No... [chuckles]
This is not the Wild West.
The game, it's the game.
And we have to protect the
game's integrity at all cost.
Ozan won this pot,
fair and square.
Make sure his family
get the money.
His son just passed
his driving test.
This money can pay for
his first car, huh.
[Bektash laughing]
Who's laughing now, huh?
Come on, Phyllis, I've grown a
beard by the time you're ready.
I've only got one pair of hands, can't
do two things at once, you know.
That's 250 pound, please, love.
Have you made that
coffee for me yet?
Um, yeah, I'll bring it over
to you when it's ready, okay.
Did you want sweetener
in that or not?
Yeah, go on then
if that's all you got.
So they pull up at
the traffic lights,
eyes still glued to
the rear view mirror
and pondering their next
move waiting for Dexter
to give them an order when out of
nowhere... Bang-bang, bang-bang.
Holt and his associate have made
off in a Land Rover full of coke.
That's a sick move.
That has got to be
the one of the biggest
load of bullshit
I've heard in my entire life.
Him, fuck off.
Sounds like the plot
of a shit film.
Oh, shit, I think he heard us.
[Ian] Shit, what should we do?
You lot are such pussies, man.
Ian, your old man
would be ashamed of you.
What's he gonna do, kill us here,
in the bookies, in broad daylight?
No, there are too many
witnesses here for that.
Look, just get ready
to run if we have to.
Fuck that, I ain't running from him.
I ain't scared of him.
[Ian] I'm only joking, anyway.
- You're scared of him.
- No, I'm not.
[Jack] You are,
you're scared of a bloke
in a fucking pink shirt,
just admit it.
I ain't scared of him,
I told you.
If he asked you to give him a blowjob, you
probably would out of fear, wouldn't you?
Yeah, I would, and I'd bite
his fucking cock off and all.
So you're agreed, yeah, you'd
put his cock in your mouth?
- No.
- [Jack] What about up your bum?
- No.
- Would you let him take your anal virginity, as well?
Shut up, Jack,
he's fucking coming over.
Let me do the talking.
What's that, Ian,
you're already an anal veteran?
- Yeah?
- Just shut up.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I came across as...
stubborn and uncooperative
towards you, son.
You were clearly right and I
should have listened to you.
Unfortunately, it's a
defensive mechanism
that I've developed
over the years due to
too much interaction with the lowlifes
and scoundrels of this world.
Mate, that's... No, sir,
it's no worries, honestly,
I was just trying
to help you out.
Clearly seem to know
what you're doing,
and when it comes to
anything computerized
I'm a bit of a technophobe,
Do you know Zack Anderson?
Tall bloke,
well dressed, 30 odd.
You don't mean Zack the barber who's got a
little barber shop on Church Street, do you?
No, but I know who you mean,
nice bloke, lovely skin.
Yeah, Zack's a diamond
he is, yeah.
No, this Zack Anderson's a police
officer, a marksman, actually.
- What, killing criminals?
- Well, yeah.
I see,
what a job that would be, man.
I'd love to do a job like
Part of a fucking
SWAT team or something.
- Do you know what I mean?
- [Jack] What you?
Fuck off, you ain't got the bollocks
to shoot someone in between the eyes.
No, I could.
Just 'cause you ain't got the balls
to kill someone don't mean I ain't.
I would, I'd kill someone,
but it'd have to be
for a reason.
Well, everyone can kill
for a reason, can't they?
But would you kill for
35K a year, six days a week?
- But what does that work out to be a week though?
- Fuck knows?
About two grand a month after
tax and national insurance.
Well, what's that 500 a week?
Fuck that, I could earn that
in a good afternoon in here.
No, if they wanted me to kill criminals
they'd have to give me at least double that.
Zack's a very
good friend of mine.
He recently won 5,000 pounds,
machines like this.
In fact, yeah...
he won it in this very
bookies, a few weeks back.
So, I'm in bed, right, I get
up one morning and I think,
Richard, get with the times,
So here I am, delving into the
computerized world of gambling,
without a fucking clue
what I'm doing, mind you.
[all laughing]
But, fortunately, I have young Ian
here to help me, haven't I, Ian?
I've seen people lose everything
to these digital demons.
Do you know Tony Costa?
He had a little
pita bread factory
on the industrial estate
just off the Gold Road.
- Tall skinny bloke?
- No, short and fat.
He lost his business, his home
and eventually his family.
His family?
His wife ran off with
the next door neighbor,
some Polish bloke,
Viktor, with a K.
What happened to your face?
What are you a boxer
or something?
Nah, I had a car
accident earlier on.
Black '94 three series BMW
wrapped around that lamppost?
Shame, real shame,
I had the same car mid '90s.
Beautiful it was, sleek, smooth...
Oh, and that smell of leather.
I can still... [sniffs]
still smell it now.
Pre air bag, unfortunately,
for your nose.
You need to get that done.
Kitten ran out in
the middle of the road,
and I swerved to avoid it.
A kitten, that's the first
I ever heard about a kitten.
Yeah, I knew you lot
would take the piss.
[Richard] No, no, nothing
to take the piss about there,
you did the right thing,
my friend.
I always say swerve for
a kitten never for a dog.
Dogs are filthy things.
I'd always swerve for a kitten.
Anyway, gentleman,
back to the racing post.
[Jack] Everywhere I turn
I see the devil.
If I make the choice
to be scared, I'll fear him.
But fears a choice,
so fuck you fear.
What's the story, Carlton?
Good, Yiannis, what about you?
Same shit, different smell.
Listen, man, I never even
know that I should save.
Every penny I earned,
I spent it.
You know them
say save for a rainy day?
I never think about a rainy day,
I think every day is sunshine.
[upbeat music]
- [Ian] What did you do?
- Your mom, up the back passage, Bosch.
He's gone to me, "What you do?"
I've gone, "Your mom, up
the back passage, Bosch."
- [laughing]
- [Jack] Brilliant!
Oi, don't tell your old man
I said that though.
- It was just a joke, yeah.
- Keep running it...
So, like, it was a
couple of years ago,
I've sold his old man a flat
down on what Ducant Road?
- That's it.
- Yeah, investment purposes.
This geezer, I can't
believe the size of him
he's like six-four, 20 stone,
like thick Glaswegian accent,
big shiny bald head,
the geezer actually goes to me,
"I'm expecting ten grand off
the asking price now, Paul."
He takes the piss though,
but wait if he comes down, here.
He's one scary mother fucker
and I'm like, "Yes, sir.
No, sir. Three bags full, sir."
Just don't crush me with
your big hairy hands, will you?
- Hey, what the fuck happened to you?
- What?
Well, I mean it's a bit late
for a growth spurt, ain't it?
I mean, you're like the size
of your old man's big toe.
Fuck off.
[phone ringing]
[speaking in foreign language]
[Paul] Right, two,
75 pound bets, gentleman.
I think that's what we wanna do.
Come on, let's have some of that.
All suggestions
gratefully accepted.
This right.
31, 32, 33, and 34.
Put them on, put them on, put them
on, put them on, put them on.
Come on, this the we go,
this is the way we roll.
- That's it.
- Come on, let's go.
[marble falling]
Oh, you fucking bastard.
It don't matter, come on,
don't matter, don't matter...
You should try spreading your bets a bit.
You know, cover a few more numbers.
What, and sacrifice
my potential maximum win?
- No, no, no, bet big.
- Win big.
- Thank you.
- Re-spin it.
Come on, then, here we go.
Here we go, bet big,
win big, come on.
Come on.
[marble falling]
[lan gasps]
Yeah, 14 red's a bastard,
it always fucks me.
It's your race, look.
Oh, yes, it is my race,
it's my world, it's my Gazump.
It's my Gazump a rump...
do this...
[indistinct chatter]
[announcer] And there off. Oh, and
Gazump has completely missed the break,
he's given away several
lengths to his rivals here.
That won't be easy to make up.
[Paul] I've bet on a
fixed race look at that.
You're right, it's a donkey.
Fucking hell, run!
What's he doing back there?
Mate, I've been done...
right, bollocks to it.
There's still
four furlongs to go,
I mean, you never know
what could still happen.
No, it's bollocks.
I tell, you it don't matter.
That was an appetizer,
that that was.
Where's my coffee?
You didn't ask me for a coffee.
There's only one of me.
[upbeat music]
We're still good, Paul.
It's too good to be true.
You know what they say,
don't you?
Bet big, win big, come on.
Come on, Phil, before you
cut a fart, let's lay a bet.
1,100, love?
What are you, me mom?
Yeah, 1,100, you've gotta be
in it to win, don't you?
A gambling man, man, man
A gambling man, man, man
A gambling man, man, man
Oh, yeah, yeah,
a gambling man
Your horse come back, man,
it came third.
Did you play it each way
or to win?
Always play to win.
So, it's all or nothing
on the next race then?
No, it's just all.
How witty, but is it?
[announcer] And they're racing, and Risk it
all Paul, has got away to An Absolute Flyer.
- It's a good start, mate.
- It hasn't made a difference.
It's better than a bad start
though isn't it, Yiannis?
It's not how you start,
it's how you finish.
[announcer] Cherry Bomb
and Reality Checkers
are trying hard to
pull him back already,
but Risk it all Paul is
showing blinding early pace
as they go through
the early stages.
Look at him go,
look at him go, that's the way.
Come on, man, win.
Hold on, baby, hold on there.
- [Jack] Go on, boy.
- He's done it, he's gonna fucking win this.
Hold on, baby,
hold on, that's it!
Please don't fuck me,
come on, please don't fuck me.
Please don't fuck me, please.
[announcer] This is gonna be tight.
Risk it all Paul is wilting.
Here's Reality Checkers.
Risk it all Paul is rallying.
Reality Checkers
and Risk it all Paul,
they go past the post together.
That's really close,
it's a photo.
Come on show the photo, what's this?
This is killing me, come on.
[announcer] Still waiting
on the photo there,
it really is tight
and here it comes.
Reality Checkers has won it...
I'm off now, lads.
You should always back it each way
when you're staking four figure sums.
Everybody knows that.
Either that or back the
favorite or the second favorite.
Looked like it won to me.
Risk it all Paul.
Unlucky son, yeah.
What, brassick, already?
Same time next month,
Paul, yeah?
Yeah, just you try and stop me.
Paul works 50 hours a week
conning the poor
into signing their lives away
for 25 years of paying interest.
Staining his soul for the chance of winning
in life on the last Friday of every month.
But it's not Paul's day today,
today's all about me,
it's my day of reckoning.
Deep down, I was just as happy
as Yiannis that he lost.
No one is stealing my thunder this
afternoon and certainly no wage slave.
The only thing you can get for
150 pound is a drilled piece.
But I only can guarantee it for one shot,
any more than that and the aim goes.
And it's dangerous,
it can go off in your hand.
It's a blank gun that's had the
chamber drilled and activated.
It's what all the little rappers
buy these days.
And 150 pound includes a nine millimeter
bullet already in the chamber.
All you've got to do
is take the safety off,
pull back the hammer, and boom.
- Sounds perfect.
- You got expensive ones?
Something cool like a fucking
magnum or something like that?
Where are they?
They're in that case isn't it?
- You want to buy a magnum?
- No, not...
Well, yeah, in an ideal world
I'd like to, yeah.
- Only for customers.
- [Jack] What about AK 47's?
I heard you've got experience
handling those, too?
And then out of nowhere,
this little Albanian appears
in the middle of the factory
with Pipi,
armed with a fucking AK 47,
an AK, just like in the films.
Nah, I've never had an AK,
too big and too bulky for me.
I'm too short to pull off an AK.
Magnum, definitely,
but not an AK.
Can I have your
phone number, please?
- Why, do you want to buy?
- Well, maybe in the future.
I got fucking knocked
for all my cash
by a couple of fucking pikeys,
you know, earlier on.
I would have bought one off you
straight away, mate, honestly, 100%.
Well, maybe in the future we do
business, get my number from Yiannis.
And maybe in the future
I show you a magnum.
Now, I'm gonna grab
a coupon and go.
I normally bet football online, but I've
been having problems with my net provider.
Yiannis, good to see you.
And, my young friend, give me a call
when you're ready to buy the magnum.
[Ian] Yeah, man.
And, Jack, remember my friend,
it's only good for one shot,
any more than that...
It's all I'm gonna need, mate.
[speaking in foreign language]
Well, he was an
interesting fellow.
Yeah, but he's alright.
Seriously, though Yiannis,
man, I appreciate it,
and, uh, Dirty Harry over here.
[Ian] It's your race ain't it?
Heaven Sent giving his jockey
a really hard time
in the stalls here...
And they're off, and Blue Cadet, the
favorite, is off to a great start.
[dramatic music]
Come on!
[announcer] The closing stages, here.
Heaven Sent and Envy...
Come on!
[announcer] Envy and Heaven Sent
having a real battle as they go...
Yes, fuck!
You win the second race?
Yeah, I did, man, but I'm not
gonna celebrate just yet, man.
God's got a way
of fucking me up.
He's done it to me
my whole life.
Don't be such a pessimist.
Look who's fucking talking.
Oh, fuck off, you.
Jack, you're gonna sort me out
if it wins, too, right?
Oh, he's changed his
fucking tune now, ain't he?
Listen, boys, now if it wins,
I'm gonna sort you both out.
You too, Carlton, man.
[Yiannis] Good karma?
[Jack] You know, isn't it?
You know, I might be just
stupid enough to think that
if the shoe was on the other foot,
you two would do the same for me?
- You fucking know I would.
- Absolutely.
Jack, sweetheart, can I have
a word with you please, babe?
[Yiannis] There we go,
Jack, you've pulled, mate.
Look, I've had head office
on the phone and, um,
well, that little wager
you made earlier,
it's made us all a bit nervous.
Well, you've been lucky so far.
Phyllis, take a look at me.
Do I look fucking lucky?
Well, we'd like to
settle the bet with you.
[Yiannis] What's happening?
We'd like to settle the bet,
we'd like to buy it off you.
I don't get it though, I've
still got another race to go.
You wanna settle a bet
with another race to go?
Yeah, but we'd like to offer
you 30,000 pounds for it.
- Take it.
- No.
If the next horse comes in,
I win 500 grand.
That's serious money.
That's start over money,
that's new life money.
Why should I sell it
back to them for 30 grand?
If I'm sensible,
which I rarely am,
I'll be standing in the same situation I am
in today, couple of months down the line.
Nah, I'm gonna need
the whole half a mill.
It's not worth that much.
[Jack] What is it then?
- Round about 340,000.
- That'll do.
Sorry, can I help you, mate?
Oh, no. Sorry, love,
I'm on the phone.
Don't be an idiot,
it's seven-to-one for a reason.
If they ran that race
seven times over,
your donkey, theoretically,
would win just once.
Take the fucking money.
No, Yiannis, it's not
even about the money, mate.
If it wins, right,
I'm a winner, man.
If it loses, game over.
Stop all this self-centered
fucking bollocks, would you,
and just think for a second,
you stupid twit.
Of course, it's about the money.
You've never seen this much
fucking money in all your life.
Phyllis, he'll take the 30
grand, get the checkbook out.
No, no, no, no, no,
I'll wait for the last race.
Phyllis, write out the check,
he'll take it.
Fuck off, Yiannis, alright!
Look, Jack, sweetheart, this
really is a life changing amount.
I mean, babe, I'm not supposed
to be telling you this but...
You're right sweetheart,
you're right.
Keep your fucking
mouth shut, yeah.
You didn't give a fuck
about me before,
so don't go on
like you care now, yeah.
Don't fucking expect a tip either,
Phyllis, if it wins, alright.
Me and Yiannis, we're still
waiting for that coffee.
In fact,
stuff your fucking coffee,
it tastes like shit
anyway, yeah.
Yeah, man, I'm fucking starving,
I haven't fucking eaten all day.
Shall we go and get
a burger or something?
You didn't even
ask me for a coffee.
You know, if you ask me for a
coffee, I'll make you a coffee.
That's the whole fucking
point though, isn't it?
You never fucking offered
did you, Phyllis, huh?
The amount of money I've given
you in the last few months, man,
- it makes me fucking feel sick when
I think about it. - [phone ringing]
Come on, it's not like it
ends up in my pocket, is it?
[Jack] Well, you fucking act
like it does, Phyllis.
How quickly can you get here?
Jack, don't cut your
nose to spite your face.
Please, mate, for me,
take the money.
Don't worry about sorting
anybody else out, just take it.
Look, I need to phone
head office back
and let them know if you're going
to accept our offer or not.
You know what, yeah?
Everyone's gotta have
their day one day, isn't it?
Maybe today's mine,
I mean, I doubt it,
but you never know, do you?
What's going on, man?
[Yiannis] Jack's gone mad,
that's what.
They've offered to
take his bet off him
as it stands for 30K and
he's turning them down.
Fuck off.
Ian, mate, do you
wanna come and get a burger?
Youse boys won't see me around
after today, win or lose.
You gettin' a burger,
Yian, or what?
Go on, then, maybe I can
talk some sense into you.
You fancy a burger, mate?
That's very kind
of you Jack, yeah.
I'll see you over there.
Last chance, Jack.
Stick it up your fucking cunt.
What did you say?
Don't worry about him,
I'll have a word with him.
Yeah, you had better
because I'll tell you what,
I have barred people
for less than this.
Listen, sweetheart,
do me a favor?
Could you hold that bet back
until the race starts?
Look, alright, fine, okay.
I'll stall it and I'll phone head office
and see if they can hold on, okay,
but only, only because
you asked me, Yiannis.
[calm music]
What you gonna do with
that money if it wins, bruv?
I don't wanna talk about it
just about now.
What you gonna do if it loses?
I said I don't
wanna talk about it.
I don't wanna give
myself a heart attack.
That's Bektash over there.
Oh, yeah, Bektash,
the fucking drug dealer.
Look at him, looks like a
fucking cab driver to me, mate.
You guys wait here.
I need to talk to him.
Hey, Bektash,
how you doing, my old friend?
[Bektash] How are you, Yiannis?
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
Listen, any more tips for the
Turkish football this weekend?
That last one you gave me,
Besiktas, won five-nil,
it was a really good tip.
That was a good one, yes.
I don't know,
this week I'm thinking
Bursaspor to beat
Galatasary, yeah.
I mean, I know
they're the underdogs
but Galatasary got so much
injury problems nowadays, huh?
And Bursaspor are on form.
So Bursaspor to beat Galatasary?
Yeah, five-to-one.
Yeah, I'll look at
that in a minute, yeah.
What's that you've got
in the boot then?
- Ah, you've got a good eye, eh.
- Yeah.
It's basically a present
for the girlfriend, you know.
Persian rug for the girlfriend
and I get some jiggy jiggy.
Bektash, you old devil.
Make sure the wife
doesn't find out.
She'd kill me.
But, listen, I'd better go, huh.
But I'll come round
to the bookies tomorrow,
alright, and we can
talk properly then.
- [Yiannis] Good to see you, my friend.
- [Bektash] Take care, huh.
Make sure you don't get caught.
I won't...
[acoustic music plays]
Get us a table upstairs
would you, Ian?
Get us a cheeseburger then,
I'll go up and get one.
Go on.
[Jack] I'll get these, Yian.
You ain't won
anything yet, you know?
So don't act like the
big shot on your last score.
It's, alright, I'll get these.
Two king meals and a
kid's box meal please, darling.
[phone ringing]
Hello, Avalanche Inn,
how can I help you?
Yes, we do
Knickerbocker Glories.
Do you believe in God, Yian?
Well, that's a little deep
for queuing conversation.
- [woman] And one coffee?
- Do you?
[woman] Yeah, it'll be ready
in five minutes.
Well, I kind of have
my own interpretation.
Go on, let's hear it.
I believe in good and bad,
right from wrong.
I believe that everybody knows
the difference, everyone.
What is the bible?
The bible is an ancient opinion
of how someone should
live in a decent society,
and offers a reward
of heaven in return.
It's a simple code of conduct.
If you're good more than
you're bad, you go to heaven.
If you're bad more than
you're good, you go to hell.
It's the same across the board.
Every religion, in essence,
is more or less the same,
bar a few tiny
variations to the rules.
Good is good, bad is bad.
Good equals everlasting joy.
Bad equals eternal pain
and suffering.
The problem is,
men will always do bad...
and they'll know
they're doing wrong
and whether you
threaten them with hell
or eternal damnation
or whatever;
they will still knowingly do it
if they feel it necessary
in whatever predicament
they find themselves
in at the time,
and just hope that they
can balance it out
with enough good for the rest of
their lives to make up for it.
- The truth is, a real man...
[tapping sound]
will happily do something bad
for the sake of his family,
- even kill, if necessary...
[tapping continues]
whatever the deterrent.
[knife tapping on the table]
Let me see the gun.
What for?
I just wanna see it.
After I'm eating.
Come on, let me have a look
at it before someone comes up.
There's probably
cameras in here.
Don't be stupid,
they ain't got cameras up here.
Come on, let me have
a look at it, man.
[soft chuckle]
[hard rock chord plays]
- Jack.
- What?
You should have taken
the 30 grand.
[hard rock chord plays]
Stop going on about it, Yiannis.
I'm being serious.
You should have taken it,
it was the right thing to do.
[hard rock chord plays]
It's done now, so fuck it.
["Bad to the Bone" by George
Thorogood & The Destroyers]
On the day I was born
The nurses
all gathered round
And they gazed
in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
Said leave this one alone
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba bad
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba bad
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba bad
Bad to the bone
I broke a thousand hearts
Before I met you
I'll break a
thousand more, baby
Before I am through
I wanna be yours
pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya, honey
That I'm bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba bad
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba bad
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba bad
Bad to the bone
[Jack] I already
knew to get out of hell
I'd have to dance
with the devil.
And it seems the devil
you have chose for me
comes in the shape
of a camp gangster,
a washed up fighter,
and an out of date male model.
One way or another, this version
of me checks out, today,
so how can I be frightened
and intimidated
when I've already
laid it all on the line.
I'm a man with nothing left, which
means I have nothing more to lose.
Intimidation might work
with Yiannis,
and Ian might be gullible enough to
believe Yiannis's bullshit story
about this clown killing
two Yardie gangsters.
But how can I be intimidated
on the day of my resurrection?
My pulse beats calm, my head
is clearer than it's ever been.
This is my final battle
in my personal revolution,
and whatever the obstacles
you have put in front of me
I know I have the will to smash right
through them on the road to grace.
I haven't had a
Knickerbocker Glory since 1998.
You see, I have the capacity to be
fat, so I have to watch the calories.
My mother was fat,
so was my father, really fat.
So I have to be careful.
But when I saw
they had this on the menu...
I mean, most places don't
even do it anymore.
I am a man
of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble
all my days
- I bid farewell...
[Jack] A gangster's greed
can never overcome
my quest for glory,
and that's all it is, greed.
How much more does
he really need?
I'm sure he already has a
nice house, a flash motor,
and sex on tap, but greed is
what drives him to want more.
Well, I want a go
and I'm not greedy.
I just want to know
what winning feels like.
Lean in a bit, Ian.
A bit closer.
Try that cherry.
Now, how sweet is that?
- It's sweet and yummy.
- Sweet and yummy.
In fact, you could say I've just
lost my cherry to young Ian.
- I'm Richard, by the way.
- I know who you are, mate.
Do you?
Yeah, you're Richard Holt,
people call you Holt.
What people are they?
I've lived round here
my entire life, I ain't no mug.
I know the people
that are worth knowing about.
I'm flattered.
So, tell me what else
do people say about me?
- Are you a coke dealer?
- Shut it, Ian!
[Holt laughing]
Mark, do me a favor, swap seats
with young Ian, will you?
Come on, come round here.
Sit down, come here,
let me tell you something.
The innocence of youth, aye?
I love it, I really love it.
A drug dealer?
You know, I haven't sold
a wrap of coke in years.
And I'm certainly not a dealer.
I'm more of a...
I'm more of a...
He's more of a... a senior
commodities opportunist consultant.
A senior commodities
opportunist consultant.
Bravo, Zack, bravo.
I take it that was
a pre-prepared answer?
Zack's been contemplating what to put
on his mortgage application form.
Got to put something down,
you know.
Fake pay slips or not,
can't leave occupation empty,
and that pretty much
summed it up nicely.
You should have put assassin, or
something really cool sounding down.
On my mortgage
application forms?
That's why you're
still renting, Mark.
An opportunist,
one who takes advantage
of any situation in order
to achieve an end goal.
Now, just because
I've been known, in the past,
to relieve the odd coke dealer
of their associated possessions
and sell it on
to the highest bidder,
that does not make me
a fucking coke dealer.
Well, in these times
of recession,
a man's got to make a
living somehow, I suppose.
My thoughts exactly,
Yiannis, my thoughts exactly.
A drug dealer?
Young Ian, I've got a bit
more class than that, mate.
I heard through the grapevine
that you killed a couple
of Jamaican Yardies.
Is that true
or is that a bullshit?
Jamaican Yardies?
See, I thought it was bullshit,
told the boys
the same thing earlier.
I told them you ain't
got the eyes of a killer.
I'm sorry, I just...
I keep... I get emotional.
The eyes of a killer?
Yeah, the eyes of a killer,
you ain't got them.
The eyes of a killer, Zack.
What a terrible,
clich thing to say.
I mean, how corny is this guy?
Well, have you ever
killed anyone?
No, I mean,
I hate the sight of blood.
But that's not the point.
It's still a clich,
corny thing to say.
Well, what about you?
You're a fucking walking clich,
all three of you,
the gangster and his goons.
You two look like
a pair of poofs.
And you, you look like
a fucking joke.
I don't buy any of it.
I'm not a goon, you ask anyone.
I'm actually really
a nice bloke.
Is that what you actually
do for a living, rob dealers?
I take advantage
of situations, young Ian.
Take our friend,
Jack, over there.
Jack, currently has a betting
slip on him that's worth 30K,
and in approximately 15 minutes,
that betting slip's either going
to be worth 350K or fuck all.
Now, Jack,
I love your balls, mate,
I really do.
But I can't afford
to take that chance.
You see, you're clearly more
of an optimist than I am.
And here we all are,
the six of us.
You with the betting slip
inside your jacket pocket.
And this might be
my last chance.
And our friend, Yiannis,
is right.
I mean, opportunities
are limited right now.
Jack, you are gonna
give me the betting slip
and I'm gonna go claim my money.
And in the meantime, you three monkeys
are gonna sit with my two pals.
And if you're well behaved, you
won't meet my friend, Nagamaki.
A fucking triad?
No, mate, you are brilliant,
no, no.
Nagamaki is a Samurai sword
that I own
and is currently
in the possession of Mark.
Mark go on, show them, go on.
Look at that, young Ian,
just have a look,
so sharp, so smooth, so shiny.
Jack, I hate to make threats,
I really do.
The betting slip.
I can't do that, mate.
I'm sorry?
I said I can't
fucking do that, mate!
No need to get violent.
Jack, no, no, no, no, no.
You see, you're gonna force me
to get into the whole clich,
alpha male, my dick's bigger
than your dick type argument,
and I'll be frank,
I think it's quite tacky.
But, I really have got
a 12-incher in my pants
So, if I don't choke
you with that,
that thing will cut you
in fucking two.
I can't let you take it off
him, mate. I'm sorry, I can't.
Is that what Pipi
was doing at the bookies?
Selling you that thing?
That's a replica conversion.
Pipi, what a ridiculous name.
A ridiculous name
for a ridiculous little man.
You know, that's only
good for one shot, right?
Have you fired it yet?
Not yet.
So I take it
the gun is yours, Jack.
Alright, that makes more sense.
So, Yiannis, are you gonna
shoot me with that?
I don't want to,
but if I have to, I will.
You're like a female Kangaroo.
You know a female Kangaroo
has got three vaginas,
three holes to get fucked
in; one, two and three.
So, Mr. One Shot Man,
who you gonna shoot?
Yeah, but he's got the gun
pointing at you, ain't he?
So, you'll be dead first.
What makes you think that
I don't own guns of my own?
And what makes you think
that just because
I underestimated your little
crew this time around...
Our crew.
[Holt] Next time,
I won't over compensate
and rain down a hail of bullets
on you when you least expect it?
Well, it's me your
trying to rob, isn't it?
So, I guess it makes
it between me and you.
You wanna die or something?
Depends what happens
in the next race.
You know, car crashes can bring
us closer to our mortality.
So, if you're feeling suicidal,
what I suggest, is you
give me that betting slip
and save you any aggro later.
Nah, I mean, you seem
like a nice bloke and that,
but I'd rather give
it to someone I know.
There's a parasite...
it's called
the toxoplasma gondii,
and it can only sexually reproduce
inside the guts of a cat.
So, to that end,
it infects rats
and then changes their behavior,
so the rats become
less scared of the cat.
Then those poor rats unwittingly
walk into the jaws of death.
See my little mate, Ian, he
loves a little bit of bullshit.
["La Bamba" by Ritchie Valens]
[Jack] Please, look out
for Ian when I'm gone.
Ian, wouldn't hurt a fly unless killing
flies got you a hard man reputation.
Unfortunately, beating up
faux gangsters does,
and Ian couldn't
resist the opportunity
to step out of the shadow
of his dad's success
and become the hero he's always
seen himself one day becoming.
[music continues]
[indistinct chatter]
Cheeky, fucking bastard.
[speaking indistinct]
- I've got you, mate, I've got you.
- I know, bruv.
That cunt,
he deserved it didn't he?
I fucking told
youse boys, didn't I?
I told you he's just a
reputational rhino, didn't I?
He half admitted it himself,
didn't he?
He admitted he hadn't
killed anyone, right?
Fucking weighed him in.
It's all just fucking urban
legends, you know what I mean?
He will be back,
trust me on this.
If he's got the ballocks,
Yiannis, to come back,
which after a beating
like that, I doubt very much.
He even said it himself,
didn't he,
he said when we least expect it?
But we're fucking expecting
it right now, ain't we?
Nah, he won't be back for
at least a couple of days.
Seriously, Yiannis,
give me the fucking gun.
I'll show this cunt
who's a fucking killer.
Look, we'll watch this race,
and then we'll lay low for a couple
of months, avoid this place.
You fuck!
I'll fucking waste you, man,
you fucking piece of shit.
Just in case he
fucking comes back for us
with a fucking bucket...
you know.
And you know only got
one shot in that thing?
You should have bought
a fucking magnum, bruv.
Next one to make a fucking move
gets a bullet in the brain.
That's it, Yian,
fucking cool line, mate.
[Yiannis] So let's just
watch this race and go.
He won't fucking come back,
I'm telling you, man.
He'll blow a bit of hot air
and tell his pals
how he's gonna
kill us all, yeah.
But he won't do fuck all.
It's between me and you, yeah?
It was between me and you.
Oh, yeah... fucker.
Ian, you need to hold it down
for a couple of days though,
I mean, you're just
a kid, mate, you know,
stop hanging about
in places like this
with scum bags
and fucking lowlifes.
You'll end up like me, mate,
in your 30s,
not fucking two brown
pennies to rub together,
no friends, no family, no job...
- Hear we go again.
- What?
Stop feeling fucking
sorry for yourself.
You just turned down 30 grand
so things can't be
that bad for you.
Come on, Yian!
That was my fucking move
you bunch of fucking wankers!
You just cost me
30 fucking grand!
Only God can judge
my decisions, Yiannis,
good or bad, right or wrong.
Listen, you two, fucking,
thank you, yeah.
Jack, bruv, honestly we...
we properly fucked him up
didn't we, bruv? Fucked him.
Lookit, man, you think I'd let someone
beat you, mate, in front of me?
No, I was fucking, I was getting
the better of him anyway wasn't I?
[upbeat music]
You alright, Holt?
No, I'm fucking not alright.
Zack... how much is it gonna
cost me for their heads?
- All three of them?
- Yeah, all three of them.
Hang on a minute,
that's a bit harsh, isn't it?
- I mean, we tried to rob them.
- Harsh is it?
Have you seen
the state of my face?
I've had worse.
Zack... how much?
And don't take the piss.
Rich, I was expecting...
an easy ten today.
I'm desperate for the
cash at the moment, mate.
Since that 5K win,
my luck has turned south
and I can't catch a winner, no.
So, I was playing this game
the other day
using this thing called
a Martingale theory.
Have you heard of that?
What you do right, is you
double the bet after every loss,
so that the first win will
recover all previous losses,
plus, win a profit equal
to the original stake.
Supposed to be fool proof, but...
This is really not
the fucking time to hear about
your stupid fucking
betting theories.
Now, are you gonna
do the job or not?
Alright, Rich, I'll do it.
I'll tell you what,
I'll do it for three per head.
[Holt] Three per head?
So you're gonna make money
out of my misfortune?
I stood to make ten,
but now I've got to give
that ten to you, is that right?
Rich, don't be like that,
mate, I am fucking skint.
[Holt] Oh, he's skint.
I'll give you three per head, but
I want the job done, immediately.
Those monkeys will be
at the bookies right now
watching the last race
and you got about 15 minutes.
Fifteen minutes Rich, no way.
You joking?
No, I'm not joking.
Well, I haven't got
a gun on me, mate.
You specifically told me
I wouldn't need one.
Well, you'd better hurry up and go
fucking find one then, hadn't you?
Oh, fucking...
Can't I do it tomorrow?
You might not be able
to find them tomorrow.
Oh, there always
at the bookies, Rich.
Yeah, but they might
not be at the bookies.
I fucking really can't be
bothered now, mate... [chuckles]
If I go home, my missus,
fucking she's gonna ask me
all sorts of questions,
"Where you been?"
I do love you, Zack.
You're a good looking chap,
ain't you?
And you got a beautiful mouth.
Your nothing more
than a cum bucket.
You're a cock muncher.
When you were fucking born
someone shouted out,
"Look at that cunt coming
out of that cunt's cunt."
So you see what I'm saying
here, Zack, is don't complain
'cause I'll just get
Luca Barbosa to come in.
And he will do it for
half the fucking price.
You know what
I might even get him
to throw in you
and your missus, how's that?
Rich, Lucas wouldn't
do it for less than
three per head not on...
not on short notice, no way.
He did Jason Cole's
cheating wife for two.
Fuck off.
I'm not taking sides here,
but I did hear
something bout that.
Bollocks, Mark.
I'm telling you he did,
fat Lorraine told me.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
Fat Lorraine talks
out of her ass, Mark.
It's a competitive market, and even if
Luca Barbosa won't do it for three,
I guarantee you Christov Alexandrov
will do it for two and half.
This is exactly what
I said would happen,
right, when the EU lifted
the migrant restrictions
and Bulgarians
and fucking Romanians.
Will you shut the fuck up?
Always gabbing away, ain't you?
Does this face
look like I give a fuck?
Alright, Rich, alright.
So.. this is the last
time I'm gonna ask you.
Are you gonna do it... or not?
It don't matter, man,
look I fucking...
I just want you to know, bruv...
I know you still have
my back isn't it, bruv.
I appreciate that shit,
your my fucking boy, bruv.
Fucking, boy.
How's your nose, man?
Fucked, isn't it?
He caught me with a lucky one,
fucking tosser.
Look at us, mate.
We look like a fucking
pair of boxers, mate.
Yeah, or fucking
cage fighters then.
Well, don't go too far, yeah.
Well, listen, you're still gonna sort
me out if it wins though, isn't it?
Of course, man. Of course.
What was that horse called?
Punter's Prayer.
Fucking, I really hope it wins,
man, with all this fucking shit.
It'll really change
your whole life if it does.
Fuck me, a half millionaire.
It's too late to cash out now, so
I guess all you can do is pray.
Yeah, well,
I've decided anyway, man,
if it wins I'm gonna give
50 grand to the kids in Africa.
[Yiannis laughs]
You trying to trick karma again?
Do you honestly believe
there's someone upstairs
who's listening to,
and believing your bullshit?
It's not bullshit Yiannis, yeah.
Believe me, mate, the amount
of people I'm gonna help out
if I win this money,
it's unbelievable, man.
I'm gonna help the disabled,
the local community,
toddlers, the elderly.
[Yiannis] Ian, do me a favor,
mate, run down to the shops
and get me some cigarettes,
I ain't had one all day.
And while you're there, get me a couple
of pound of scratch cards, as well.
Fuck that, Yian.
That's wrong, bruv, honestly, they're fucking
probably still looking for me, bruv.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
bet, a whole fucking army of them.
Ian, man, I thought I shattered that
gangster illusion for you, man.
We... fucking bashed up that little
poof in front of his goons, mate, yeah?
Your fucking old man,
he'd have been proud of you
today some, mate.
Don't ruin it now, mate.
Go on, you go for me,
and you can keep the change.
[Ian] I can keep the change, and all you
want is 20 scarabs and two scratch cards?
Jack, do you want anything
from the shop, bruv?
- Jack?
- What?
Do you want anything
from the shop?
Nah, man, I just really hope
this fucking horse wins, man.
If there's a God and you're
listening, mate, please, yeah.
[Yiannis] Go on, run along, race
is gonna start in a minute.
Soon we're gonna find out
whether our Jack has made the most
genius gambling decision in history,
or if he's just flushed
30K down the toilet.
I'm going for a piss, Yiannis.
[Phyllis] Jack, sweetheart.
All or nothing, baby.
Did you just tell Jack
he could still cash out at 30K?
Yeah, who's can talk
some sense into him?
I told you, I'd wait till the start of
the race so you can change his mind.
But you better hurry up though,
it's gonna start in a minute.
[Jack] I feel so close to you right
now, closer than I've ever been.
Even the distant scent
of glory and success
overpowers the stench of piss
and bleach that surrounds me.
[knocking on door]
Who is it?
[Yiannis] Jack, let me in,
I need to talk to you.
Hi, mate.
Can I have, uh, 20 scarabs
and I'll have two of them Rich
for Life scratch cards... bruv.
You got any white chocolate?
What you see is what you get.
You need more of
a selection, mate.
That'll be 4.65.
Yes, fucking 50 quid!
I ain't never won more than
a pound on these before, boss.
Maybe today's my lucky day.
There is no such thing as lucky,
lucky is just a state of mind.
If you say so, mate.
Here, can I have two more
of them the same one?
[phone ringing]
Hello, Mom.
Alright. Listen, um...
I'm really sorry
about earlier on.
You're right,
I need to get a job,
but... I might have some
really good news.
No, I might have,
it's difficult to explain.
Alright, okay.
No, you're...
Yeah, you're right, okay.
Well, listen, Mom, I'll be
home in a couple of minutes
we'll talk about it
properly then, yeah.
Alright, an then...
Mom, you know I fucking love
you, don't you?
Yeah, alright, yeah, okay.
Okay, I'll see you in a minute.
Alright, bye.
It's okay, it's okay...
Young Ian, things have gotten
out of hand and I'm sorry,
I'm really sorry, sweetheart.
I might not be a killer,
but I know a man who is,
and it hasn't cost me
as much as you think.
Three grand a fucking head.
[operatic music]
[rifle fires]
[no audible dialogue]
- [Yiannis] Jack, Jack!
- [banging on door]
Jack, they got him,
they shot the kid.
[announcer in background
- Jack!
- [Jack] What?
They shot him,
I think he's dead.
- [announcer indistinct]
- What, what, what?
- He's dead?
- Who fucking shot him?
- They shot him, Jack!
- Who?
[Yiannis] I think he's dead.
[Yiannis sobbing]
[announcer] Now the gap appears
for a Punter's Prayer,
who really starts
to motor on the outside.
Can he get there? A Punter's
Prayer now begins to...
[Yiannis sobbing]
This is gonna be close. And a
Punter's Prayer nicks it on the line,
a Punter's Prayer has won.
[gun fires]
[rock music]