Snakes On A Plane (2006) Movie Script
# All I see
are sunny skies #
# Every time I look
into your eyes #
# Here we go again,
my friend #
# Staying together
till the end #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# Being out
in the open air #
# Living life
like we just don't care #
# Just doing what
we want to do #
# Not doing
what we're supposed to #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# We'll just float #
# On top
of the clouds #
# That cover
our skies #
# I said,
we'll just float #
# On top
of the clouds #
# That cover
our skies #
# I said,
we'll just fly #
# On top
of the clouds #
# That cover
our skies instead #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day. #
Go, get outta here.
Go!
They say the higher
you aim,
the farther
you fall.
Fuck you, Eddie Kim.
And look at you now,
Mr. Prosecutor, huh?
Not so high
and mighty anymore.
Well, that's
a noble gesture.
I'll make sure
to tell your son
all about it.
The reason he gets
to grow up without a father
is because of how
goddamn noble he was.
Then again, I was raised
by a single mom and...
I didn't turn out
so bad, huh? Whoo!
Clean this up.
I'm going back to LA.
Let's get the hell out
of here...
and find that guy!
This is Mi Jung Lee
reporting live
from the Kaena Point area.
Details remain sketchy in
the brutal slaying yesterday
of Los Angeles prosecutor
Daniel Hayes,
who was vacationing
in Hawaii.
Hayes has been
in the news lately
for his high-profile pursuit of reputed
mobster Edward Kim.
Mr. Kim's representatives
have issued a statement
of condolences
to the Hayes family
and claim absolutely
no involvement
in what they call
a hideous act
of violence.
The ongoing saga
in the criminal
investigation
of Mr. Kim involves charges
of murder, racketeering
and police corruption
at the highest levels,
both here in Hawaii
and on the mainland.
Thank you, Mi Jung.
We'll be sure to check in
for any updates
as they become
available.
Do as I say,
and you live.
Stay flat against this wall.
Don't even breathe.
Go go go, that way!
Black car, go!
What the hell is going on?
You witnessed a murder
and didn't tell anybody.
Why didn't you call
the police?
The news said they were corrupt,
so I figured they'd be in on it.
Smart kid.
Who are you?
I'm Agent
Neville Flynn, FBI.
Pleased
to meet you, Sean.
I gotta tell you, Sean, I'm getting
a little tired of all this garbage
you've been feeding me.
We know you were there.
Your prints are all over it,
so stop insulting
my intelligence.
You witnessed a murder.
You have a responsibility.
Look here, Sean.
I've been doing this for a while,
so I know all kinds
of neat little
interrogation tricks.
You know, good cop
bad cop,
reverse psychology,
stare-down contests, threats.
You name it,
I've done it.
But why don't we
leapfrog all that bullshit,
save ourselves a lot
of aggravation and time,
of which there is
close to zero,
and I tell you
the truth?
Truth is I'm not
worried about you
if you testify.
But I am worried
about you if you don't.
What-- what if I didn't see him clearly?
I mean, I wouldn't be--
What did I just tell you about saving us
aggravation and time?
He knows who you are!
That's why those people
were at your house trying to kill you.
And make no mistake,
Eddie Kim will kill you,
if you let him.
Last week I was planning
a surfing trip to Bali.
Now...
now you make it sound
like I have no choice--
Oh, no no no no no no no no no.
You got choices.
You got tons
of choices,
but there's only one
correct choice:
Come with us to LA,
testify against his ass,
put him in jail
for life.
Tell you what:
You sit here,
think about it.
You let us know
what you decide.
We'll be outside.
The white zone is for
immediate in-loading
and unloading
of passengers only.
So you got any requests
for your final flight?
Well, just what
any flight attendant wants.
Low-maintenance
passengers.
Uh-huh, that would
be very nice.
A'ite, ladies.
Hey, Troy, Leroy, I got this, all right?
Let me sign 'em for them.
Let me sign 'em for them.
Gimme that marker, son.
How you doing, sweetie?
You all right? There you go.
You take care, baby.
All right.
- Can I get your autograph?
- You can get a little more than that.
Yeah, no doubt. Let me do this on
the special for you right there.
- Mmm, yeah. Mm-hmm.
- It tickles.
Mmm!
- Take care, all right.
- All right.
- Will you sign this, please?
- Oh yeah, no doubt, little man.
Here we go.
- Mm, there you go.
- Thank you.
- Hey, yo, stay black.
- Hells, yeah.
All right.
All right, y'all, God bless you.
I gotta get out of here
and catch this flight, all right?
Y'all take care. Catch the next album.
- We can't wait!
- Yeah, all right, no doubt.
All right, look, we gotta make sure
we got some more of this, all right?
- Look at the Howard Hughes of rap.
- What?
What was that?
He-- he said,
man, can you believe this crap?
- Man, this is crap right here.
- Hey, yo, come on, y'all.
Y'all messing with t-shirts and hats.
Y'all are supposed to be
watching my back, son.
- Come on.
- You're right, brother, I got you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
South Pacific Air flight 121
- has been delayed half an hour.
- Oh, come on!
We apologize
for this inconvenience
and we'll begin boarding
as soon as possible.
Oh, boy.
It's gonna be a fun flight.
Aloha all Island
Express passengers...
Five whole hours.
Do you know who's working today?
I didn't get a crew list.
You know,
I have no idea.
Oh my God.
Here she comes. Here she comes!
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
Oh!
Oh, Claire, don't go.
Last thing the world
needs is another lawyer.
I mean, really,
how could you leave all this?
- It's gonna be hard.
- Will you take me with you?
Please.
Could we ask for Bruno
from Simply Corporate?
Elena, by we,
I mean you.
No, not all drivers are the same.
That's the point.
The last thing I need is some guy
going on and on
about the weather
the whole way home. Get Bruno.
Mary Kate, hush.
Sorry, she gets
nervous flying.
Oh, that's okay.
I understand,
you know.
Do you think she'll
want some Xanax?
Oh no, she's okay.
How you feeling?
Yeah, fine.
You ready for this?
Yeah.
Is that our plane?
No, every cop in Honolulu
thinks it is.
Hey, come on, relax.
FBI's escorting
some guy to LA.
They just took over
all first class.
Are they allowed
to do that?
Well, apparently
FAA Section 108 states,
"If deemed necessary,
they can do whatever they want."
Well, who's gonna tell the first class
passengers they're flying coach?
That would be you, kid.
South Pacific Air 121.
Oh, my.
I was hoping you'd
be the sky candy on this flight.
You're looking especially
delicious this evening.
I love it when you
demean me, Rick.
My pleasure.
I gotta go fly a big plane.
- Hi, doll.
- Hi there, Rick.
Isn't he smooth?
Yes, sir. I'm soaking
the leis with it.
The pheromone will make
these guys go fucking crazy.
Duke.
Leave it, Duke.
- Ladies.
- Welcome aboard.
Agent Flynn.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the final boarding call
- for South Pacific Air, flight 121...
- Aloha.
- Thank you.
- with nonstop service to Los Angeles.
- Aloha.
- No no no, the hair.
Aloha.
Unfortunately, first class
is overbooked.
But there's plenty of room for you
to stretch out in coach,
which is less than half full.
For the inconvenience,
we are offering you
a free travel coupon
good on any South Pacific
Air flight.
A free travel coupon won't help me get
to my meeting on time, now will it?
Sir, I'm pretty sure
that coach gets to Los Angeles
about the same time
as first.
Funny. Does my premium awards
membership come with sarcasm,
or should I speak
to your supervisor, Claire?
This better be a matter
of national security.
Did I just hear
there's no first class?
I'm afraid only coach
is available.
Coach?
Is it safe there?
Yes, it is safe there.
Never flown
first class before.
See, things are
looking up already.
So how long you and Mr. Personality
been working together?
Um... five years,
one blown marriage each.
He's the toughest
son of a bitch I ever met.
Wow.
Yep, that's us.
The glamour
and the glory.
Flynn, the captain's patching us
through to Harris for the flight.
Harris,
Special Agent Harris.
Harris, so how's
the new promotion?
- I'm loving it.
- That was a little quick.
- Wanna try again?
- No no, I'm serious, man.
You know, no more-- no more
junk food hangovers
after all-night stakeouts,
you know?
I'm actually spending nights
in bed with my wife.
She's hot.
You know, and my kids,
you know, forget about 'em.
They're kids.
I'm just spending every
waking minute with them.
You know, they're fun.
Please, this is me
you're talking to.
You know you miss it.
You miss the action.
You're bored to tears. So what are you
actually doing with your time?
- Surfing the net.
- Porn, no doubt.
No, hey, eBay,
my cynical-minded friend.
I'm right in the middle of a bidding war
with this punk-ass kid from lowa
for this black velvet...
Pamela Anderson poster.
Not technically porn.
So how's
Eddie Kim doing?
You ain't gotta worry about him.
He ain't going anywhere.
No, I got three teams on him,
so he's not gonna move.
All right, I'll see you
on the other side.
Are you sure
about this?
Accidents happen.
You think I didn't exhaust
every other option?
He saw me!
You're gonna be right down
this aisle to the left.
- Thank you.
- Oh, look at the little baby.
- He's beautiful.
- Thank you.
Oh, beautiful.
- Cheese.
- First, they stick me in coach
and then they put a freaking dog
next to me. What the hell is next?
Oh, you're adorable.
Okay.
Oh, great.
Just great.
Is there
a problem, mister?
Oh, gee,
what do you think?
Will you at least
get that vermin to shut up?
Don't worry, Mary Kate.
His hair plugs
can't hurt you.
Fucking dog, fucking coach,
fucking Americans!
Hi. Oh, I'm really sorry about first
class. Let me see if I can help--
Oh, oh, sweet-- Could you let her know
not to touch me, son?
Oh, please,
don't touch the man.
Man don't like to be touched.
We'll find our own seats.
Oh, sorry.
Here's some coupons.
- You all right, man?
- Yeah, I'm all right, man.
All right.
Coach ain't looking
so bad after all.
Bad boy.
Hey, yo, check it.
Check it out, check it out.
You like that.
Baby got back, front
and side-to-side.
Hey, y'all two get together,
y'all might have,
like, two 20-lb
babies or something.
Dad, why can't you
come with us?
Come on,
you're gonna be fine.
Bet you're even
gonna have fun.
- He's just being a baby.
- Curtis.
I'm counting on you to be a man.
Now what does a man do?
- He looks out for his family.
- That's right.
- Sir.
- Oh, sorry.
My wife is meeting them in LA.
It's their first time flying solo.
That's okay.
Hey.
- Can I tell you a secret?
- What?
- Guess who's on the plane?
- Who?
Three G's.
- For real?
- I bet you could meet him.
Come on, Tommy,
let's go.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we would like to welcome
you to South Pacific Airlines
flight 121
nonstop service
from Honolulu
to Los Angeles. At this time, I would
like your full attention
as the flight attendants
demonstrate
the safety features
of this aircraft.
When the seat belt sign
illuminates,
you must fasten
your seat belt.
There are several emergency
exits on the aircraft,
located in
the forward section,
aft section
and over each wing.
In the event
of decompression...
an oxygen mask will
automatically drop
from a compartment
above your seat.
To start the flow
of oxygen,
pull the mask towards you,
place it firmly
over your nose
and mouth,
secure the elastic band behind your
head and breathe normally.
A lifejacket is located in a pouch
under your seat.
This is how you put it on.
Slip it over your head,
pass the straps
around your waist
and adjust loosely
at the front.
Tampering with, disabling or destroying
the smoke detectors located
in the lavatories
is prohibited by law.
We wish you
an enjoyable flight.
Radar indicates a bit
of weather up ahead.
We might catch
a few bumps in the road,
but we'll be above most of it.
If you need anything at all,
you just holler at one
of those gorgeous flight attendants
and they'll take good care of y'all.
Thank you.
Good evening.
Thank you.
I'm Tiffany.
Hi, Tiffany.
I'm Sean.
So, um, mind if I, um...
ask what you did?
Oh, me?
Nothing.
It's what I'm
supposed to do.
Ever heard of Eddie Kim?
Oh, who hasn't?
Oh, I was watching one
of those crime shows once,
you know, with the hokey
reenactments,
where he tortured this guy who was
a witness against him
by gouging out his eyes
and then feeding him
to some pigs.
Pretty gruesome stuff.
Yeah, he doesn't
mess around, that guy.
So, um, you know,
what are you--
what do you have to...
I'm a witness
for the prosecution.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
That is so...
hot.
I'm gonna miss these
night flights.
I enjoy the passengers so much better
when they're unconscious.
And you,
I'm gonna miss you.
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
- Can I get a gin and tonic?
- I'll be right back with that.
Thanks.
Ooh, wow.
In Hawaii for vacation?
Not really. I was there for
the kickboxing tournament.
Oh my God.
You're a kickboxer?
Me too.
Well, I take a kickboxing
class with Lonnie, Malibu Fitness.
Uh-huh.
- Awesome cardio.
- Good for you.
My girlfriend and I
go Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Yeah, girlfriend.
Right.
Wait, wait.
Watch this.
Come on, take it easy, buddy.
You okay?
Son of a...
- Yeah, yeah.
- You all right, dude?
Hey, will you
look around?
Look around the plane.
How come there aren't
more people on this flight?
I can't figure it out.
Honey, 'cause it's
the red eye. Hmm?
Okay, okay.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
- No, I accept-- I accept that.
If you hated flying this much,
why did you let me pick Hawaii
for our honeymoon?
'Cause that's where
you wanted to go.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Hmm, Bali, huh?
- What?
You said earlier you
wanted to go to Bali.
It's a very beautiful place.
I've been there.
You surf?
You don't look like a surfer.
- No disrespect.
- Hey, none taken.
And I did try it.
I figure, why spend all my time
in the ocean when I could lay on
the beach and admire all the beauties,
- you know what I mean?
- Yeah.
Couldn't stay on
your board, could you?
No. Fell off every time.
Got me.
- Can I help you?
- No, I'm just stretching my legs.
Big plane, plenty of
places to do it.
Plenty of other places
to do it, you mean.
I do something
wrong here?
Technically, no.
But maybe next time, you people
could give us a little heads up
before you commandeer
the plane.
You people?
Oh, no no no no.
l--
Hey, hey, don't stress it.
Just joking.
So can l-- can I get you
something or...
No, I'm cool.
Just pretend I'm not here.
Okay.
Psst.
Psst.
Psst.
- Hi.
- What's up?
This is Mary Kate.
- Yes, that's nice.
- And I'm Mercedes.
- You know, like the car, vroom vroom.
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- Ooh, yeah.
- She likes you.
- Yeah, that's cool.
- Say hi.
- You are?
- Oh, come on now.
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm...
- Trying to steal my dog?
- Oh, believe me, I don't want the dog.
I'm kidding.
I know who you are.
- Yeah, I know you know who I am.
- Three G's.
All right, all right,
"Booty Go Thump."
Yeah, my booty went thump.
Yeah, I know
that's right.
That's tight.
That's tight.
Yeah, your dog, the dog.
No, that's good. It's cool.
- Yeah, l-- I love--
- Little kiss.
Yeah, I love dogs.
- Hi.
- Aloha.
Here.
- Come on, come out.
- Hurry.
You see, at the end
of the day,
the music business
is still a business.
You okay?
I'm-I'm-I'm good.
As I was saying,
see, I'm all about
taking the music
and the business
to the next level.
You know what I'm saying?
That's when evolution
becomes revolution.
Here, babe.
Screw it.
Harder.
Mile High Club.
Those were the days.
Oh. This guy
is really good.
Well, maybe not that good.
We just lost avionics.
Notify LAX.
LAX, Hula 1-2-1,
mayday, mayday, mayday.
We are 1,500 nautical miles
southwest of Los Angeles.
Repeat, mayday,
we have lost avionics.
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
Los Angeles tower.
We acknowledge your emergency.
You have priority.
All right, give me the manual.
Take control.
I have control.
I'll be back.
How's my big boy?
Aw, fuck!
Fucking bitch!
Get off my dick!
Aw, fuck!
Fuck.
'Cause, you know, keeping your sexy
right is part of the business too.
And if you
don't mind me saying,
it looks like you keep
your sexy very, very right.
Well, thank you.
- Have you ever acted before?
- No.
'Cause you know, l-- I would love to put
you in one of my pool-party videos.
- Oh, yeah?
- Throw a little thong on you--
- Excuse me, she just wants a treat.
- All right.
I can never find
anything in here.
Her doctor says
she's bipolar.
I almost beat the last level.
Hey, man, you playing
that damn video game?
Or was that video
game playing you, son?
- Damn!
- Found them.
Sir, I can assure you,
there's no strange smell.
Maybe you're
allergic to the leis.
Let me take
that for you.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you, miss.
Any idea how long this
turbulence will last?
No, I'm okay.
Well, I'm gonna go
and ask the pilot.
Aw, shit, Rick,
we got smoke.
Something probably
arced in the avionics.
How much longer do you
think before we climb-- what happened?
We lost the board.
I gotta reset
the breakers.
- Keep her steady, Rick.
- All right.
Okay, Cap,
they're coming back!
That's it, old man,
we're back in busin--
Captain!
- Rick!
- What is it?
Something's happened
to the captain!
All right. Coming.
Oh, Christ.
- Did you-- did you see what happened?
- No.
Captain?
I think he's had
a heart attack.
Agent Flynn,
Agent Sanders,
can I see you
for a moment, please?
I flew with that man
for 10 years.
Let's go back.
We're halfway. It'd take longer
to get back to Honolulu
than keep going to LA.
Make sure everybody's
strapped in.
LAX tower,
this is Hula 1-2-1,
mayday, mayday, mayday,
pilot in command has suffered
a fatal heart attack.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Captain requests
- that you remain in your seats...
- Shhh.
with your
seat belts fastened.
Thank you.
Shhh, shhh.
Hi, how are you doing?
Think of it like
a roller coaster ride.
Do you like
roller coaster rides?
No, not really.
No, me neither.
They always make me sick.
Okay. Here's what
we're gonna do:
You are gonna
close your eyes
and count
very slowly to 10.
And when you open your eyes, you make
the funniest face you can at each other.
And whoever
laughs first loses.
Okay?
Best out of five wins.
And I will be back to
check on the winner.
One, two, three...
- Sir, seat belt please.
- Yeah. Great.
Thank you.
Oh my God!
What the--
What the hell?!
Ow! Ow!
- Whoa!
- Oh!
- Oh, shit!
- What the fuck?!
I'll go.
Oh, shit.
- Get down!
- What the hell? It's snakes!
Rick, what's up with
the oxygen masks deploying?
Oh, sorry about that.
You're not gonna believe what came out
of the goddamn instrument panel.
What?
Look at this.
Goddamn snake, honey!
John! Stay up here!
Flynn!
I've got...
ophidiophobia--
fear of snakes.
Stay!
Mary Kate, sit!
Bad girl.
Bad, bad girl.
Come to the front, there aren't any
snakes here! It's safe.
Everybody, move forward!
Cautiously!
Come here.
Get out of my way!
Get out of the way!
Son of a bitch!
- Out of the way, grandma!
- Oh!
What the--?
Fuck!
Oh my God, help!
Help!
Go, go!
Oh, fuck me!
Okay, okay.
Oh, fuck, fuck.
Oh, shit, shit!
Yeah-ha-ha-ha!
Who's your daddy
now, bitch?!
Oh fuck! Oh!
Man, you guys are supposed
to be watching my back!
Front, come on.
We gotta get to the front!
Grab a tray table!
Oh! Smash that!
Little bitch!
Come on!
Move!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Ow! Get this fucking
snake off my ass!
Oh, stop. You got
a snake on your ass! Yo, hold still!
- Get it off!
- Get him out! Get him out!
- Get him out of here!
- Come on, man!
Keep moving!
Keep moving!
Everybody listen!
We have to put a barrier
between us
and the snakes!
Grab everything from the overheads,
under the seats,
and let's build a wall.
Let's go!
- Ken! Do this.
- Okay.
Help me!
Please help me!
Hi-ya! I'm gonna
put you on my back.
And we're gonna move
towards the front, okay?
- No, I can't. No, I can't.
- Here we go! Come on.
Let's go. Yes, you can.
You can do it, come on, up!
- Here we go. Here we go.
- Mary Kate!
Here we go.
I need everyone to close
any compartment that's open!
Just close them!
- I can't reach.
- I got it.
Let me get it.
Hey, whoa whoa whoa.
It's only me. What's up?
- I can't find those two little boys.
- Little boys?
Tommy and Curtis,
they were by themselves.
- Hey!
- Mister, my brother-- he got bit.
I was supposed
to take care of him.
You are taking care
of him, sweetheart.
You're taking care
of him right now.
- Is-is he gonna die?
- No, honey.
But you have to be brave
for him now, okay?
Okay, sweetheart.
Are you okay?
My baby!
Where is my baby!
Oh, Lord.
- Oh, my baby!
- Here you go.
- Go go go go! Hurry!
- Thank you!
Come on! Come on!
Come through!
Hurry, hurry!
Help! I need help!
Oh my God, Grace.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
- Let me, let me. I got her.
- Oh my God.
I have to go
and tell Rick.
Grab the first-aid kit!
Grace, hey hey hey...
Here's some water.
Come on, man, you got to drink water.
Breathe, breathe.
We missed the bastards
because they
were cold-blooded.
Come on, come on.
John, John, listen
to me, you're okay.
Just take a deep breath,
John, you're having a panic attack.
Mmm...
Oh, shit.
You've gotta
be kidding me!
Good luck.
John?
Son of a--
Hey hey hey, we have
to figure something out.
All right. Well,
I know what I gotta do.
We're in a 200-foot
aluminum tube
and we're 30,000
feet in the air.
And any one of those slimy
little pieces of shit
can trip a circuit
or a relay or a hydraulic
and this bird goes down
faster than a Thai hooker.
So my job is to keep LAX informed
on how totally screwed we are,
and then find some way
to keep this mother
in the sky another two hours.
Figure that out.
- Hey hey, where you going?
- Uh, I have to go down.
I have to help
the passengers.
Now there's supposed
to be a doctor aboard. A Dr....
Robert Foster.
Robert Foster!
Wait, here he is.
Here he is. Dr. Robert Foster,
row 11, seat H.
Yeah, Harris.
Um, Sanders is dead.
You know all those goddamn security
scenarios we ran?
Well, I'm smack in the middle of one
we didn't think of.
What the hell
you talking about?
Eddie Kim somehow
managed to fill the plane
with poisonous snakes.
Wait, hold on.
What kind of insane plan is that?
He can't
possibly guarantee
that the snakes
are gonna get to Sean.
Yeah well, he doesn't
have to guarantee it
if he brings
the whole plane down.
Listen up.
Everybody listen up.
I want a crisis team
at LAX, ASAP.
And I need the cargo manifest
for every scrap of freight
on South Pacific Air 121.
I can't believe
I'm saying this.
I need the best poisonous snake
expert in this time zone.
And I need him in my ear or at my side
in 20 minutes or less.
Well come on, people, let's go!
Somebody make that happen for me!
Hey, tell surveillance,
don't let Eddie Kim out of their sight.
All right, we have to--
we have to suck out the poison.
- Man, I ain't sucking nothing.
- Okay, I'll do it.
What?! Oh, there'll
be no sucking.
Man, Troy, get this
man away from my ass!
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, we sure. Thanks, pal.
Okay, sweetheart,
it's gonna be okay.
Oh my God!
Hold my baby, please.
Forget about that.
Do you have any
olive oil on the plane?
- Olive oil? Olive oil.
- Yeah.
- I'm on it.
- Yeah, in a cup!
Okay.
When I was a kid,
whenever we went hiking,
we always carried olive oil and a razor
blade in case of a snake bite.
I need something to cut.
Here you go.
Okay, this--
this will work, yeah.
Okay, oil. So you
swish it in your mouth
to seal it
from the poison.
- Look at Claire, Tommy.
- Look at me, sweetie--
It's gonna hurt
a little bit, okay?
- Okay, now.
- It hurts.
You're so brave.
Yeah, it's gonna
be all right, Tommy.
Ow! Ah!
That's what
I'm talking about.
- Good, boy.
- Yeah, I think I got it all.
It's gonna be okay, Tommy.
You're very, very brave.
Um, I-I got bit too.
- Flynn, what the hell--
- Just sit tight.
I can't. l--
Do you remember the first
thing I ever said to you?
Yes.
So what was the first thing
I ever said to you?
I-I know,
but things have changed.
What was the first thing
I said to you?!
Things have changed!
You have a whole plane full of sna--
God! "Do as I say,
you live."
Nothing's changed.
Now I need you to stay
up here by the air phone.
When Agent Harris calls,
you come and get me.
You got it?
Got it.
Hey hey hey! They're getting through
the luggage, here, seriously.
I need some help!
Fire extinguisher!
- Ken!
- Agent Flynn, here.
Weapons-- we have to have weapons.
Where's the silverware?
Well, we don't-- we don't
have any silverware.
All we have is this.
- Sporks?
- Yeah.
Here.
Use that.
His name is
Dr. Stephen Price.
He's-- he's some kind of
hardcore snake specialist.
And customs uses him
as their go-to guy
for any animal
smuggling cases.
- The go-to guy?
- Yeah. So he must be good.
Dr. Price?
- It is I.
- Hank Harris.
I'm hoping this is important,
I've got baby Antiguan racer eggs
in there ready to hatch--
the first time ever in captivity
- Really?
- It's very exciting.
Wow. I got another exciting first
I'd like to tell you about.
I need another!
Help, somebody!
Come on!
Help me out here!
- Please, I can't-- I can't do this!
- Hold on, I'm coming!
Come on! Somebody get me another
fire extinguisher!
All right, we we got
less than 90 minutes.
We've already lost over 50 people
and that's including an FBI agent.
Okay.
Look, we've already
contacted local ERs.
Oh, local ERs.
Uh, I don't think you
understand the magnitude
of what you're
dealing with here.
LA County ERs can,
at best,
handle the occasional
snake bite.
Uh, not an entire
I'm going to contact
the National Poison Control Center
to have them alert every ER
in the tri-county area
and to order every available helicopter
crew to be ready.
We've got less than
two hours to mobilize an entire army.
Flynn, Flynn!
Hey, they got-- they got
a snake guy on the phone.
Who the hell is that?
His name is Dr. Price.
Look, Doc, people are dying
up here. We need help fast.
Okay, just break open any blisters
that form around the bites.
- Keep them clean.
- We're doing that.
- It doesn't seem to be doing much good.
- Snakes don't attack
unless they're
provoked, right?
Something up there
is making them go crazy.
Yeah, no shit.
They're attacking everybody
and everything up here.
They're especially fond
of those fucking leis.
Leis? Jesus,
I don't know, uh...
it could possibly
be a pheromone.
That's what female animals release
to trigger mating behavior.
It could also provoke
serious hyperaggression.
Like some kind of drug.
Well, that's good news.
Snakes on crack.
How could you imbeciles
let somebody put snakes--
- We need to turn this plane around
- I don't want to die.
- We need to get them to a hospital
- We're almost to LA now.
Know what they call that?
The point of no return.
So this is it?
That's what the plan is?
We sit around here waiting
for the snakes to bite us?
Look, everyone
just calm down, please!
We're doing
the best we can here.
Okay, look, there are hundreds
of species of snakes
with hundreds
of cocktails of venom.
Some will kill you
in two minutes,
others in two hours
and some you can
actually cure with
a good night's rest.
But here's the thing:
If you administer
the wrong antivenom,
that will kill you.
I am not
a zoologist, man.
I can identify maybe
two of the snakes I've seen up here.
A cobra
and a rattlesnake, okay?
You're going to
have to be more--
much more
specific than that.
Oh, shit.
Um, look, um,
I'll round up all
the dead ones I can find
and-- and I'll call
you back, okay?
Make it fast.
Time is tissue.
Time is t--
I want to know
what's going on.
- Get out of the way!
- No, no! No!
You guys are not
supposed to go up there.
- Move, girl!
- You can't take the stairs!
You can't keep
us down there.
Why exactly are there
snakes on this plane?
- I don't have time to explain.
- Well, you better make time.
You put us at risk
and you're gonna tell us why.
What I'm gonna tell you
is to go back downstairs now.
Man, who the hell
you think you are?
Whoa whoa whoa,
okay, look.
The snakes are
on the plane because...
I'm supposed to testify
tomorrow against Eddie Kim.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
we're all dead.
Not me.
It's my job to handle
life-and-death situations
on a daily basis.
It's what I do,
and I'm very good at it.
Now you can stand there
and be the panicked, angry mob
and blame him, me and the government
for getting you into this.
But if you want
to survive tonight,
you need to save
your energy
and start
working together.
Now what we need to do
is go back in there and find
all the dead snakes we can
so the doctors
on the ground
will know what kind
of antivenoms we need.
Whatever you find,
you bring it to me.
And I don't need to tell
you to be careful.
Whoa whoa whoa,
where you going?
I'm going with--
I-I can't just sit here doing nothing.
Remember when you
said it's all about choices we make?
Well, I'm making one.
Don't treat me like a prisoner!
I need you
to stay up here.
- Why?
- Because if you die,
then all this
was for nothing.
Sit your ass down.
We got a snake, man.
Okay, Doc, I got one
here that's, um...
I guess, brownish on top and I'd say
green on the bottom.
Wait a second, pure green?
Or is it blue?
Um, well, if I had to guess,
I'd say green.
No no no, teal.
It's a deep shade of teal.
It's-- it's teal, Doc.
Why don't we just
take a picture?
Oh, sure, let's drop it off at Jiffy
Photo when we land, Einstein.
Ever heard of e-mail,
dick-wad?
All we need is a digital camera
and a computer.
Or this.
It's got both.
Doc, I'm gonna e-mail you
some pictures, all right?
Rick!
Rick?
Rick!
Rick!
Oh, God.
Are we landing?
- There are no lights down there.
- I don't think so.
Doc, photos are
coming to you now.
Everybody,
buckle up now! Now!
Oh my God, no!
- Come on, buckle up. I got you.
- Oh my God!
Fucker!
Hya!
Okay, let's pull
this thing up.
Hula 1-2-1 heavy, you're descending
through 23,000 feet.
There's no time to strap in,
just pull up, pull hard!
Somebody help me!
Somebody help, they're coming through.
Tiffany! Tiffany!
Look out!
- You okay?
- Yeah.
We gotta get the people upstairs.
It's safer there.
Somebody help me.
Kill them!
Hula 1-2-1, heavy
you're now below 19,000 feet.
Do you copy?
It's not working.
- I wanna get out.
- Let me get you up.
Get upstairs, come on.
Go!
Go go go go!
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
pull up. Pull up.
Get out!
Hurry!
- Out of the way!
- Move your ass, God damn it!
Go, go!
No.
Come on, quicker!
- Come on!
- Move it!
Move it!
Hurry!
Hang on to me.
I've got you!
Get me off this plane!
Come on!
Get back!
Go, quick!
Move!
Oh shit!
Mary Kate!
You animal!
- You animal! I hate you!
- Freakin' dog, lady.
- I hate you!
- Why did you do that?
What? You all would have
done exactly the same thing.
Somebody do something.
Look out!
Oh my God!
Let's go. Hey hey,
in back of you!
- Behind you.
- Come on!
Come on, move move move!
Come on, come on.
We gotta block the stairs.
Grab bags, everyone.
- Come on!
- Pass it down!
Get me NTSB.
And call the Coast Guard.
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
you are now below
Pull up!
Oh, my God.
Holy fuck!
Oh, thank God.
Wait a second.
What about the life raft?
- Use this!
- Good idea.
I got it!
Hello, can anybody
hear me?
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
somebody wanna tell me
what's going on up there?
We've lost our--
Rick.
- Hold, hold, push!
- Come on, hurry!
Kill it.
Kill it!
Here, grab an end!
Oh, Rick.
Hold it, hold it down.
Push it down.
That's great, okay. Get it down.
There you go. There you go.
Don't let anybody down.
Oh, Rick, your arm.
Okay.
There you go.
Oh, yeah,
you know, Claire,
I think I'm gonna need
your shirt, too.
- Oh, Jeez. Very funny.
- Gotta try, right?
Uh, Rick, could you please
engage the autopilot?
Yeah, here, I got it.
Do you think you
can fly with one hand?
Oh, baby, you'd be amazed at what
a man can do with one hand.
All right, I got this.
You go get it.
Do your business.
We, uh, we had no choice.
The snakes were everywhere.
Yeah, okay, I guess you
did what you had to do.
Yeah.
These aren't
North American snakes.
So what? What does it matter?
Let's just get the antivenom
- and take it to the airport.
- No no no, these snakes aren't even
from this continent.
They're from all over the globe.
Only a handful
of US hospitals
even carry
foreign antivenom.
- How long?
- How long what?
- How long to get the antivenom here?
- I don't know.
At least a day,
maybe two.
What do we do?
I don't know if there's anything
we can do.
What are you drawing
there, sweetie?
Oh, wow,
that's really good.
I'm really sorry
about your dog.
Thanks.
What's up, buddy?
Trying to get this guy to slam
the basketball. He just won't do it.
Last month they offered
early retirement.
But no,
this broad needed
one more tour of duty.
You were here
for a reason.
You saved my baby.
That's a pretty
good reason.
Hey, it's too--
Flynn, it's too hot.
I'm from Tennessee.
I hadn't noticed.
Anyway, heat's the least
of our worries.
No no no,
listen, listen.
The air's not recycling.
He's right.
If there's no air conditioning it's
gonna get too hard to breathe.
Shit!
Okay,
how about the zoos?
How about the zoos?
I mean, zoos got snakes, right?
So they must have
antivenom there.
We would need a detailed list
of every species involved,
with that exact number.
And an exotic shipment like this would
only come through a dealer. So...
All right, well, who
in Hawaii would do that?
And no one in Hawaii, because snakes
aren't indigenous to Hawaii.
But Eddie Kim lives
in LA.
Could he have
shopped locally?
Yes, only one guy could arrange this
many illegal snakes.
He lives out
in the desert.
Take us
to the heliport.
You don't think I know
it's hotter than hell in here?
We also have abnormal
vibrations in engines one and two.
I had no choice
but to throttle back.
- You slowed down?
- Yeah.
Well, you know.
- It's that or option B.
- Which is?
I go faster
and the engines seize up;
We eventually plummet
to a horrible death;
They spend the next year
identifying femurs.
Okay, so just tell me
how to get
the AC back on.
We've lost power
to the outflow valve motor.
- Which is where?
- Well, you gotta reset it manually.
The breaker's down
in the cargo hold.
Yeah.
Sucks to be you
right now.
Get off me, man!
I told y'all stop touching on me
and coughing on me.
It's disgusting up in here.
Stay away from me.
Yo, how come there's no air coming
out of this piece of junk?
How come there's no air
coming out of here?
Only lasts about 10 minutes after
they deploy. Now please, I need--
Please nothing.
Get out of my face, man.
- If you could please just take a seat.
- Back away from me, man.
- You sit down. Back away from me.
- Whoa whoa whoa.
Back away from me.
Get up off me, man. Back up off me.
Hey hey hey hey.
I gotta get off
this plane, man.
- I'm sick of this bullshit.
- Listen, brother, you got to chill.
- Look, just get a grip, all right?
- You get a grip, man.
You get-- get...
Hey, back up,
back up. Back up!
That gun goes off
in this pressurized cabin, we all die.
Well you know what?
I want some air.
- What's the matter with you, Clarence?
- What's the matter with you?
No, what's the matter
with you, man?
Hey, look, you know we go back to when
we were kids, all right?
But I don't even
recognize you right now,
waving a gun at all these
innocent women and children.
Man, there's a baby
right over there, man.
We're all in trouble here, dawg.
This ain't just about you.
Sit your ass down,
Clarence.
Whatever, man.
It's the snakes!
Shoot. Now what?
Breathe deep.
Oh, God, Grace.
Claire.
Claire.
I need you
to be strong.
Come on.
- Let's go get these people some air.
- Okay.
See this?
I went through
a pyromaniac phase as a kid.
- Here.
- You too, huh?
Anything else I should
know about you?
Let me go with you. You don't know
your way around down there.
No, I need you up here.
You're my eyes and ears.
Call me.
Be back
soon as I can.
- You'd better. Be careful.
- Yeah.
Okay, I'm here.
Okay, the EAP panel
should be on your right.
Okay, here I go.
Hey, how's your boy?
I don't know, man.
He's in a lot of pain.
- Here, man, take some of this water.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, you got any water?
- Sure, yeah.
Thanks.
Look, I'm not really good at this whole
apologizing thing,
but I'm sorry
about pushing you.
It's all right.
You too, man.
That's-- that's--
that's my bad.
Okay, it's okay.
Oh...
Iooks like somebody
rigged this, uh...
access panel door
to stay open
so the snakes could get out.
Be careful.
All right, so where's
this outflow breaker panel
you were talking about?
Oh, it's in the very
next compartment.
Shit!
- What's going on?
- The goddamn lever's stuck.
Ooh, hey!
Flynn, are you okay?
Yeah.
- Oh! Oh...
- Yes!
Okay, well,
that's a good sign.
Shh!
Do you guys
hear that?
Kreitler's been busted
twice by customs
for possession of illegal snakes.
There he is. That's him.
Down, down!
Get the door.
- What are you doing?
- My job.
Area's secure.
Send in Dr. Price now.
Wow, that's gonna
leave a mark.
That's a desert
blacksnake.
That's indigenous
to the Middle East.
- Looks like you can use some antivenom.
- In the fridge.
- Hurry!
- Ooh, hurry.
The Middle East.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Dr. Price,
but that would make
that snake illegal, wouldn't it?
Yes, yes, it would.
How long does that give
Mr. Mullet here to live?
I would say
about seven minutes.
Seven minutes, huh?
All right, listen to me.
Hey, I would love
to do this whole dance, you know,
take a nuanced approach to interrogating
you, but the truth of it is,
I don't have time
to be subtle.
I want a list of every snake
on that plane.
You got less
than seven minutes.
On the clipboard.
- The clipboard!
- Hang on to that.
- Is that every snake on that plane?
- Yes.
- Did Eddie Kim pay you to do this?
- Yes!
Look, give me the shot,
God damn it.
What are you gonna
do, call the ACLU?
How'd you get these guys to be so
aggressive, that's what I'm wondering.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Hey.
You're wasting it!
Pheromones. We sprayed
the flowers with it,
so it would circulate
in the plane's air system.
I swear to God.
That's it.
Okay.
All right.
Bring in Eddie Kim. Charge him
with multiple counts of murder
and attempted murder and get that
piece-of-shit attorney on the phone.
Yeah, tell him to ask Kim
what his preference is.
Gas or lethal injection.
Oh, thank God.
Flynn, it's Harris.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Outstanding.
All right.
Everybody, listen,
they have the antivenom.
It's gonna be waiting
for us when we land in LA.
Hear that, little man?
Your brother's gonna be fine.
It's all up
to the pilot now.
I'll go give him
the good news.
Rick.
Rick.
Rick, open the door.
What's going on?
He's not answering.
Rick!
- Ho!
- Oh my God!
Get him up!
Uh...
I can't believe
I'm gonna say this:
Is there anyone here
who knows how
to fly a plane?
Claire, Claire, I'll do it.
I'm sure the tower
can talk me through it.
No no no, Flynn.
I know who could land this plane.
- Who?
- Him.
Yeah, you.
Come on, Troy.
You know you can
do this, man.
Come on,
take us home, dawg.
You know how to fly?
Hey, man,
I got over
This is all you've
talked about.
Troy, you can do this.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Yeah, I can do this.
We gotta clear the snakes
out of the cockpit.
Yeah yeah, clear the snakes
out of the cockpit, yeah.
Enough is enough!
I have had it with these
motherfucking snakes
on this
motherfucking plane!
Everybody strap in.
I'm about to open
some fucking windows!
Take this.
Tie it
to the cockpit door.
Let's go.
Listen, when the windows
go out, the cabin's gonna lose pressure
and oxygen. You gotta get us down
as fast as you can.
All right,
everybody make sure
you're strapped in
as securely as possible.
Remember,
it's going to be loud,
and it's going to
be cold.
Hold your breath
as long as you can, all right?
And protect your head.
Use your arms.
Is everybody ready?
- Ready to do this?
- Let's do it.
All right,
take the position.
One, two,
three.
Do it now!
Let's go!
Hit that autopilot switch
for me.
Whoo, whoo! That's what I'm
talking about, boy!
This shit is bananas!
Hold on!
Hold on!
Come on, baby!
Come on, push.
Yeah, right about there.
Okay,
we're leveling out.
You okay?
Troy, the plane's not level.
It's not level!
Yeah yeah, I know that the plane
is not level, okay okay?
Gimme a break, man.
All right, wassup?
Wassup, y'all?
What it is.
What it is!
This is your new pilot Troy speaking,
and sitting next to me
is my main man,
my brother from another mother,
the biggest pimp
that I know, Superfly Agent Flynn.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Agent Flynn.
Sir, have you got any experience
piloting a jet aircraft?
Oh, yeah, F-15s,
F-16s,
A-10 Warthogs,
I've flown all that shit.
Then we're all thankful
to have you, sir.
- What squadron were you with?
- The Awesome Fighting Aces.
Man, I'm telling you,
them video gamers
got their shit
locked down tight.
Sir, are you
telling me
that your only real
flight time is
at the controls
of a video game?
No, see,
it's-- it's not a video game, all right?
It's a flight simulator.
- Is that a PlayStation or Xbox?
- PlayStation 2.
Man, it's got an introduction by
Chuck Yeager and everything.
Look, Flynn, man,
I can do this.
Trust me.
Look, LAX, just give
me my VOR numbers
and my approach vectors,
and I'll be fine.
Sir, I suggest you relinquish
the pilot's chair
to someone more
experienced.
This is Agent
Neville Flynn, FBI.
You are talking
to the only person
up here who has
that experience.
I suggest you give him
what he needs
so we can
land this thing.
Oh!
Oh!
So, uh, you are
pretty good at this game, right?
Yes, man.
No problem.
Well, I mean, my older brother Randy
has got the high score,
but I'm good.
Asshole never lets me
hear the end of it.
LAX tower,
this is Hula 1-2-1.
Requesting clearance for landing.
Please advice which runway.
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
we're in the process
of clearing all the runways,
but you got a strong tailwind.
Advise, come around
and use runway
No no no, negative, tower.
I can't do that.
I don't have time
for westbound orientation.
Look, I got a lot
of injured passengers up here
who need help
immediately.
You try to land west to east,
you'll come in too fast to control.
Well, then I suggest you
speed up clearing the rest
of the runways, 'cause my ass
is coming in for a landing!
All right, brace yourselves,
you guys, this is it.
Everybody
brace yourselves!
Here we go.
Brakes!
Brakes, Troy!
- Put your ass in it!
- This part ain't in the game.
Is crashing part
of the game, huh?
I don't know, man. I usually just hit
reset and start the level over.
Oh, shit, left!
Left! Turn this big
motherfucker left, Troy!
Whoo!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
All praises
to the PlayStation.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
That's my boy, Troy, yes!
Hell, yeah!
Whose house is this?
Troy's house, that's right.
Fuck Randy!
Fuck Randy and his high score.
That's my own brother,
and I say, "Fuck him!"
Man, my ass.
My ass, man.
Okay, let's get going.
Over here!
Got them!
Okay, everybody.
Thank you!
Hey, Doc, thank you.
And hey, good luck with
those Antiguan racers.
It was nice working
with you, Agent.
Please help!
Help please!
- This boy is unconscious.
- Keep that close, all right?
He needs oxygen
right away.
Did anyone see the snake
that bit this boy?
- Show 'em, sweetie. It's okay.
- What is it?
I couldn't find the snake
that bit him, so I drew a picture.
It's a cobra, right,
like Indiana Jones?
That's excellent.
Lactin and Ringer's solution, 25ml.
I'll do the antivenom.
Sean.
Before everything gets crazy out there,
I wanna say thanks.
Couldn't have done
this without you.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Let's lock this guy up
who tried to kill us.
Give him a hand!
Down down down.
couldn't breathe.
- You all right? Come on.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
- Oh, man.
Nice.
Stings like shit, huh?
Yeah.
This is Agent Harris,
the guy on the other end of the phone.
It's an honor.
Kenny, baby.
Oh my God.
Oh my God!
Oh! Oh, I'm gonna
get you home.
Come on, let's go.
My little cowgirl.
Claire.
- Hey.
- Um...
now that you've saved my life,
I think I kind of owe you a dinner
to show my
appreciation.
Well, I would very much
like to take you up on that.
- Is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Call me.
- Will do.
- Sean, hey.
- Hey.
Oh, damn.
I'll definitely call you.
Thank you.
How do you like flying
in first class?
Do you remember the first
thing you ever told me?
What the fuck's that got
to do with anything?
What was the first thing
you ever told me?
Do as I say
and you live.
Exactly.
Now it's your turn.
Do as I say,
and you live.
# Blue skies,
party people #
# Out on the beach
you got the burning show #
# We keep on rockin'
till the early morn' #
# I say, hey now, now #
# Come on,
I say, hey now, now #
# Don't try to keep 'em
if they got to go #
# I wanna keep 'em
till the early morn' #
# I say, hey now, now #
# I say,
hey now, now #
# Spearhead in the area #
# You really so the girl #
# And I would do
anything for you #
# It's true,
it's true #
# Come on,
I wanna-- #
That's it! I have had it
with these
motherfucking snakes
on this motherfucking
plane!
# Times are strange #
# We got a free upgrade
for snakes on a plane #
# Fuck 'em,
I don't care #
# Pop the cheap champagne #
# We're going down
in flames, hey #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
- # Come on, bring it #
-# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom
in their eyes #
# Goodbye #
# It's time to fly #
# To make the skies alive,
is it serpentine #
# Lounging in their
suits and ties #
# Watch the whores parade
for the price of fame, hey #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
- # Come on, bring it #
-# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom
in their eyes #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom #
# In their eyes,
goodbye #
# Ladies and gentlemen,
the snakes are slithering #
# With dollar signs in their eyes,
with tongues so reptilian #
# This industry's venomous
with cold-blooded sentiment #
# No need for nervousness #
# It's just
a little turbulence #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom
in their eyes #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom #
# In their eyes,
goodbye #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it. #
We seem to be losing altitude
at an alarming pace.
From midtown
to downtown,
snakes on a block.
I suggest you grab
your ankles
and kiss
your ass goodbye.
# That visibly a vagabond #
# Yeah, just tag along #
# Not one single care
in the world #
# Not even any carry on #
# They say there's
a future ahead so #
# I wanna fly out there
and see #
# I just smiled
and said hello #
# And sat right next
to Destiny #
# I leaned over
and asked him #
# Would we be okay? #
# He said that he wasn't
at liberty to say #
# Send me an angel,
an angel #
# The sign of the times,
he said, but take it in vain #
# I'm no stranger
to danger #
# But I'm scared
'cause I swore #
# I saw a snake
on the plane #
# I'm tired of these
motherfucking snakes #
# On this motherfucking
plane #
# I'm tired, I'm tired,
I'm tired #
# I'm tired of these
motherfucking snakes #
# On this
motherfucking plane #
# I'm tired, I'm tired,
I'm tired #
# Send me an angel,
an angel #
# The sign of the times,
he said, but take it in vain #
# I'm no stranger
to danger #
# But I'm scared
'cause I swore #
# I saw a snake
on the plane. #
# Snakes on the brain #
# Don't throw up signs #
# That don't land planes #
# It's a risky game #
# You don't want
us to play #
# I hate the player #
# And I hate the game #
# 'Cause it's nature's
game #
# You've got
to let it go #
# You've got to let it go #
# All your fantasies #
# Will fuck you up #
# Don't let the snakes
coil up #
# Around your neck #
# Before you land
the plane #
# Before you win
the game #
# Snakes on the brain #
# Snakes on the brain #
# Snakes on the brain. #
are sunny skies #
# Every time I look
into your eyes #
# Here we go again,
my friend #
# Staying together
till the end #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# Being out
in the open air #
# Living life
like we just don't care #
# Just doing what
we want to do #
# Not doing
what we're supposed to #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# We'll just float #
# On top
of the clouds #
# That cover
our skies #
# I said,
we'll just float #
# On top
of the clouds #
# That cover
our skies #
# I said,
we'll just fly #
# On top
of the clouds #
# That cover
our skies instead #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day #
# It's gonna be #
# A lovely day. #
Go, get outta here.
Go!
They say the higher
you aim,
the farther
you fall.
Fuck you, Eddie Kim.
And look at you now,
Mr. Prosecutor, huh?
Not so high
and mighty anymore.
Well, that's
a noble gesture.
I'll make sure
to tell your son
all about it.
The reason he gets
to grow up without a father
is because of how
goddamn noble he was.
Then again, I was raised
by a single mom and...
I didn't turn out
so bad, huh? Whoo!
Clean this up.
I'm going back to LA.
Let's get the hell out
of here...
and find that guy!
This is Mi Jung Lee
reporting live
from the Kaena Point area.
Details remain sketchy in
the brutal slaying yesterday
of Los Angeles prosecutor
Daniel Hayes,
who was vacationing
in Hawaii.
Hayes has been
in the news lately
for his high-profile pursuit of reputed
mobster Edward Kim.
Mr. Kim's representatives
have issued a statement
of condolences
to the Hayes family
and claim absolutely
no involvement
in what they call
a hideous act
of violence.
The ongoing saga
in the criminal
investigation
of Mr. Kim involves charges
of murder, racketeering
and police corruption
at the highest levels,
both here in Hawaii
and on the mainland.
Thank you, Mi Jung.
We'll be sure to check in
for any updates
as they become
available.
Do as I say,
and you live.
Stay flat against this wall.
Don't even breathe.
Go go go, that way!
Black car, go!
What the hell is going on?
You witnessed a murder
and didn't tell anybody.
Why didn't you call
the police?
The news said they were corrupt,
so I figured they'd be in on it.
Smart kid.
Who are you?
I'm Agent
Neville Flynn, FBI.
Pleased
to meet you, Sean.
I gotta tell you, Sean, I'm getting
a little tired of all this garbage
you've been feeding me.
We know you were there.
Your prints are all over it,
so stop insulting
my intelligence.
You witnessed a murder.
You have a responsibility.
Look here, Sean.
I've been doing this for a while,
so I know all kinds
of neat little
interrogation tricks.
You know, good cop
bad cop,
reverse psychology,
stare-down contests, threats.
You name it,
I've done it.
But why don't we
leapfrog all that bullshit,
save ourselves a lot
of aggravation and time,
of which there is
close to zero,
and I tell you
the truth?
Truth is I'm not
worried about you
if you testify.
But I am worried
about you if you don't.
What-- what if I didn't see him clearly?
I mean, I wouldn't be--
What did I just tell you about saving us
aggravation and time?
He knows who you are!
That's why those people
were at your house trying to kill you.
And make no mistake,
Eddie Kim will kill you,
if you let him.
Last week I was planning
a surfing trip to Bali.
Now...
now you make it sound
like I have no choice--
Oh, no no no no no no no no no.
You got choices.
You got tons
of choices,
but there's only one
correct choice:
Come with us to LA,
testify against his ass,
put him in jail
for life.
Tell you what:
You sit here,
think about it.
You let us know
what you decide.
We'll be outside.
The white zone is for
immediate in-loading
and unloading
of passengers only.
So you got any requests
for your final flight?
Well, just what
any flight attendant wants.
Low-maintenance
passengers.
Uh-huh, that would
be very nice.
A'ite, ladies.
Hey, Troy, Leroy, I got this, all right?
Let me sign 'em for them.
Let me sign 'em for them.
Gimme that marker, son.
How you doing, sweetie?
You all right? There you go.
You take care, baby.
All right.
- Can I get your autograph?
- You can get a little more than that.
Yeah, no doubt. Let me do this on
the special for you right there.
- Mmm, yeah. Mm-hmm.
- It tickles.
Mmm!
- Take care, all right.
- All right.
- Will you sign this, please?
- Oh yeah, no doubt, little man.
Here we go.
- Mm, there you go.
- Thank you.
- Hey, yo, stay black.
- Hells, yeah.
All right.
All right, y'all, God bless you.
I gotta get out of here
and catch this flight, all right?
Y'all take care. Catch the next album.
- We can't wait!
- Yeah, all right, no doubt.
All right, look, we gotta make sure
we got some more of this, all right?
- Look at the Howard Hughes of rap.
- What?
What was that?
He-- he said,
man, can you believe this crap?
- Man, this is crap right here.
- Hey, yo, come on, y'all.
Y'all messing with t-shirts and hats.
Y'all are supposed to be
watching my back, son.
- Come on.
- You're right, brother, I got you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
South Pacific Air flight 121
- has been delayed half an hour.
- Oh, come on!
We apologize
for this inconvenience
and we'll begin boarding
as soon as possible.
Oh, boy.
It's gonna be a fun flight.
Aloha all Island
Express passengers...
Five whole hours.
Do you know who's working today?
I didn't get a crew list.
You know,
I have no idea.
Oh my God.
Here she comes. Here she comes!
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
Oh!
Oh, Claire, don't go.
Last thing the world
needs is another lawyer.
I mean, really,
how could you leave all this?
- It's gonna be hard.
- Will you take me with you?
Please.
Could we ask for Bruno
from Simply Corporate?
Elena, by we,
I mean you.
No, not all drivers are the same.
That's the point.
The last thing I need is some guy
going on and on
about the weather
the whole way home. Get Bruno.
Mary Kate, hush.
Sorry, she gets
nervous flying.
Oh, that's okay.
I understand,
you know.
Do you think she'll
want some Xanax?
Oh no, she's okay.
How you feeling?
Yeah, fine.
You ready for this?
Yeah.
Is that our plane?
No, every cop in Honolulu
thinks it is.
Hey, come on, relax.
FBI's escorting
some guy to LA.
They just took over
all first class.
Are they allowed
to do that?
Well, apparently
FAA Section 108 states,
"If deemed necessary,
they can do whatever they want."
Well, who's gonna tell the first class
passengers they're flying coach?
That would be you, kid.
South Pacific Air 121.
Oh, my.
I was hoping you'd
be the sky candy on this flight.
You're looking especially
delicious this evening.
I love it when you
demean me, Rick.
My pleasure.
I gotta go fly a big plane.
- Hi, doll.
- Hi there, Rick.
Isn't he smooth?
Yes, sir. I'm soaking
the leis with it.
The pheromone will make
these guys go fucking crazy.
Duke.
Leave it, Duke.
- Ladies.
- Welcome aboard.
Agent Flynn.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the final boarding call
- for South Pacific Air, flight 121...
- Aloha.
- Thank you.
- with nonstop service to Los Angeles.
- Aloha.
- No no no, the hair.
Aloha.
Unfortunately, first class
is overbooked.
But there's plenty of room for you
to stretch out in coach,
which is less than half full.
For the inconvenience,
we are offering you
a free travel coupon
good on any South Pacific
Air flight.
A free travel coupon won't help me get
to my meeting on time, now will it?
Sir, I'm pretty sure
that coach gets to Los Angeles
about the same time
as first.
Funny. Does my premium awards
membership come with sarcasm,
or should I speak
to your supervisor, Claire?
This better be a matter
of national security.
Did I just hear
there's no first class?
I'm afraid only coach
is available.
Coach?
Is it safe there?
Yes, it is safe there.
Never flown
first class before.
See, things are
looking up already.
So how long you and Mr. Personality
been working together?
Um... five years,
one blown marriage each.
He's the toughest
son of a bitch I ever met.
Wow.
Yep, that's us.
The glamour
and the glory.
Flynn, the captain's patching us
through to Harris for the flight.
Harris,
Special Agent Harris.
Harris, so how's
the new promotion?
- I'm loving it.
- That was a little quick.
- Wanna try again?
- No no, I'm serious, man.
You know, no more-- no more
junk food hangovers
after all-night stakeouts,
you know?
I'm actually spending nights
in bed with my wife.
She's hot.
You know, and my kids,
you know, forget about 'em.
They're kids.
I'm just spending every
waking minute with them.
You know, they're fun.
Please, this is me
you're talking to.
You know you miss it.
You miss the action.
You're bored to tears. So what are you
actually doing with your time?
- Surfing the net.
- Porn, no doubt.
No, hey, eBay,
my cynical-minded friend.
I'm right in the middle of a bidding war
with this punk-ass kid from lowa
for this black velvet...
Pamela Anderson poster.
Not technically porn.
So how's
Eddie Kim doing?
You ain't gotta worry about him.
He ain't going anywhere.
No, I got three teams on him,
so he's not gonna move.
All right, I'll see you
on the other side.
Are you sure
about this?
Accidents happen.
You think I didn't exhaust
every other option?
He saw me!
You're gonna be right down
this aisle to the left.
- Thank you.
- Oh, look at the little baby.
- He's beautiful.
- Thank you.
Oh, beautiful.
- Cheese.
- First, they stick me in coach
and then they put a freaking dog
next to me. What the hell is next?
Oh, you're adorable.
Okay.
Oh, great.
Just great.
Is there
a problem, mister?
Oh, gee,
what do you think?
Will you at least
get that vermin to shut up?
Don't worry, Mary Kate.
His hair plugs
can't hurt you.
Fucking dog, fucking coach,
fucking Americans!
Hi. Oh, I'm really sorry about first
class. Let me see if I can help--
Oh, oh, sweet-- Could you let her know
not to touch me, son?
Oh, please,
don't touch the man.
Man don't like to be touched.
We'll find our own seats.
Oh, sorry.
Here's some coupons.
- You all right, man?
- Yeah, I'm all right, man.
All right.
Coach ain't looking
so bad after all.
Bad boy.
Hey, yo, check it.
Check it out, check it out.
You like that.
Baby got back, front
and side-to-side.
Hey, y'all two get together,
y'all might have,
like, two 20-lb
babies or something.
Dad, why can't you
come with us?
Come on,
you're gonna be fine.
Bet you're even
gonna have fun.
- He's just being a baby.
- Curtis.
I'm counting on you to be a man.
Now what does a man do?
- He looks out for his family.
- That's right.
- Sir.
- Oh, sorry.
My wife is meeting them in LA.
It's their first time flying solo.
That's okay.
Hey.
- Can I tell you a secret?
- What?
- Guess who's on the plane?
- Who?
Three G's.
- For real?
- I bet you could meet him.
Come on, Tommy,
let's go.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we would like to welcome
you to South Pacific Airlines
flight 121
nonstop service
from Honolulu
to Los Angeles. At this time, I would
like your full attention
as the flight attendants
demonstrate
the safety features
of this aircraft.
When the seat belt sign
illuminates,
you must fasten
your seat belt.
There are several emergency
exits on the aircraft,
located in
the forward section,
aft section
and over each wing.
In the event
of decompression...
an oxygen mask will
automatically drop
from a compartment
above your seat.
To start the flow
of oxygen,
pull the mask towards you,
place it firmly
over your nose
and mouth,
secure the elastic band behind your
head and breathe normally.
A lifejacket is located in a pouch
under your seat.
This is how you put it on.
Slip it over your head,
pass the straps
around your waist
and adjust loosely
at the front.
Tampering with, disabling or destroying
the smoke detectors located
in the lavatories
is prohibited by law.
We wish you
an enjoyable flight.
Radar indicates a bit
of weather up ahead.
We might catch
a few bumps in the road,
but we'll be above most of it.
If you need anything at all,
you just holler at one
of those gorgeous flight attendants
and they'll take good care of y'all.
Thank you.
Good evening.
Thank you.
I'm Tiffany.
Hi, Tiffany.
I'm Sean.
So, um, mind if I, um...
ask what you did?
Oh, me?
Nothing.
It's what I'm
supposed to do.
Ever heard of Eddie Kim?
Oh, who hasn't?
Oh, I was watching one
of those crime shows once,
you know, with the hokey
reenactments,
where he tortured this guy who was
a witness against him
by gouging out his eyes
and then feeding him
to some pigs.
Pretty gruesome stuff.
Yeah, he doesn't
mess around, that guy.
So, um, you know,
what are you--
what do you have to...
I'm a witness
for the prosecution.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
That is so...
hot.
I'm gonna miss these
night flights.
I enjoy the passengers so much better
when they're unconscious.
And you,
I'm gonna miss you.
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
- Can I get a gin and tonic?
- I'll be right back with that.
Thanks.
Ooh, wow.
In Hawaii for vacation?
Not really. I was there for
the kickboxing tournament.
Oh my God.
You're a kickboxer?
Me too.
Well, I take a kickboxing
class with Lonnie, Malibu Fitness.
Uh-huh.
- Awesome cardio.
- Good for you.
My girlfriend and I
go Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Yeah, girlfriend.
Right.
Wait, wait.
Watch this.
Come on, take it easy, buddy.
You okay?
Son of a...
- Yeah, yeah.
- You all right, dude?
Hey, will you
look around?
Look around the plane.
How come there aren't
more people on this flight?
I can't figure it out.
Honey, 'cause it's
the red eye. Hmm?
Okay, okay.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
- No, I accept-- I accept that.
If you hated flying this much,
why did you let me pick Hawaii
for our honeymoon?
'Cause that's where
you wanted to go.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Hmm, Bali, huh?
- What?
You said earlier you
wanted to go to Bali.
It's a very beautiful place.
I've been there.
You surf?
You don't look like a surfer.
- No disrespect.
- Hey, none taken.
And I did try it.
I figure, why spend all my time
in the ocean when I could lay on
the beach and admire all the beauties,
- you know what I mean?
- Yeah.
Couldn't stay on
your board, could you?
No. Fell off every time.
Got me.
- Can I help you?
- No, I'm just stretching my legs.
Big plane, plenty of
places to do it.
Plenty of other places
to do it, you mean.
I do something
wrong here?
Technically, no.
But maybe next time, you people
could give us a little heads up
before you commandeer
the plane.
You people?
Oh, no no no no.
l--
Hey, hey, don't stress it.
Just joking.
So can l-- can I get you
something or...
No, I'm cool.
Just pretend I'm not here.
Okay.
Psst.
Psst.
Psst.
- Hi.
- What's up?
This is Mary Kate.
- Yes, that's nice.
- And I'm Mercedes.
- You know, like the car, vroom vroom.
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- Ooh, yeah.
- She likes you.
- Yeah, that's cool.
- Say hi.
- You are?
- Oh, come on now.
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm...
- Trying to steal my dog?
- Oh, believe me, I don't want the dog.
I'm kidding.
I know who you are.
- Yeah, I know you know who I am.
- Three G's.
All right, all right,
"Booty Go Thump."
Yeah, my booty went thump.
Yeah, I know
that's right.
That's tight.
That's tight.
Yeah, your dog, the dog.
No, that's good. It's cool.
- Yeah, l-- I love--
- Little kiss.
Yeah, I love dogs.
- Hi.
- Aloha.
Here.
- Come on, come out.
- Hurry.
You see, at the end
of the day,
the music business
is still a business.
You okay?
I'm-I'm-I'm good.
As I was saying,
see, I'm all about
taking the music
and the business
to the next level.
You know what I'm saying?
That's when evolution
becomes revolution.
Here, babe.
Screw it.
Harder.
Mile High Club.
Those were the days.
Oh. This guy
is really good.
Well, maybe not that good.
We just lost avionics.
Notify LAX.
LAX, Hula 1-2-1,
mayday, mayday, mayday.
We are 1,500 nautical miles
southwest of Los Angeles.
Repeat, mayday,
we have lost avionics.
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
Los Angeles tower.
We acknowledge your emergency.
You have priority.
All right, give me the manual.
Take control.
I have control.
I'll be back.
How's my big boy?
Aw, fuck!
Fucking bitch!
Get off my dick!
Aw, fuck!
Fuck.
'Cause, you know, keeping your sexy
right is part of the business too.
And if you
don't mind me saying,
it looks like you keep
your sexy very, very right.
Well, thank you.
- Have you ever acted before?
- No.
'Cause you know, l-- I would love to put
you in one of my pool-party videos.
- Oh, yeah?
- Throw a little thong on you--
- Excuse me, she just wants a treat.
- All right.
I can never find
anything in here.
Her doctor says
she's bipolar.
I almost beat the last level.
Hey, man, you playing
that damn video game?
Or was that video
game playing you, son?
- Damn!
- Found them.
Sir, I can assure you,
there's no strange smell.
Maybe you're
allergic to the leis.
Let me take
that for you.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you, miss.
Any idea how long this
turbulence will last?
No, I'm okay.
Well, I'm gonna go
and ask the pilot.
Aw, shit, Rick,
we got smoke.
Something probably
arced in the avionics.
How much longer do you
think before we climb-- what happened?
We lost the board.
I gotta reset
the breakers.
- Keep her steady, Rick.
- All right.
Okay, Cap,
they're coming back!
That's it, old man,
we're back in busin--
Captain!
- Rick!
- What is it?
Something's happened
to the captain!
All right. Coming.
Oh, Christ.
- Did you-- did you see what happened?
- No.
Captain?
I think he's had
a heart attack.
Agent Flynn,
Agent Sanders,
can I see you
for a moment, please?
I flew with that man
for 10 years.
Let's go back.
We're halfway. It'd take longer
to get back to Honolulu
than keep going to LA.
Make sure everybody's
strapped in.
LAX tower,
this is Hula 1-2-1,
mayday, mayday, mayday,
pilot in command has suffered
a fatal heart attack.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Captain requests
- that you remain in your seats...
- Shhh.
with your
seat belts fastened.
Thank you.
Shhh, shhh.
Hi, how are you doing?
Think of it like
a roller coaster ride.
Do you like
roller coaster rides?
No, not really.
No, me neither.
They always make me sick.
Okay. Here's what
we're gonna do:
You are gonna
close your eyes
and count
very slowly to 10.
And when you open your eyes, you make
the funniest face you can at each other.
And whoever
laughs first loses.
Okay?
Best out of five wins.
And I will be back to
check on the winner.
One, two, three...
- Sir, seat belt please.
- Yeah. Great.
Thank you.
Oh my God!
What the--
What the hell?!
Ow! Ow!
- Whoa!
- Oh!
- Oh, shit!
- What the fuck?!
I'll go.
Oh, shit.
- Get down!
- What the hell? It's snakes!
Rick, what's up with
the oxygen masks deploying?
Oh, sorry about that.
You're not gonna believe what came out
of the goddamn instrument panel.
What?
Look at this.
Goddamn snake, honey!
John! Stay up here!
Flynn!
I've got...
ophidiophobia--
fear of snakes.
Stay!
Mary Kate, sit!
Bad girl.
Bad, bad girl.
Come to the front, there aren't any
snakes here! It's safe.
Everybody, move forward!
Cautiously!
Come here.
Get out of my way!
Get out of the way!
Son of a bitch!
- Out of the way, grandma!
- Oh!
What the--?
Fuck!
Oh my God, help!
Help!
Go, go!
Oh, fuck me!
Okay, okay.
Oh, fuck, fuck.
Oh, shit, shit!
Yeah-ha-ha-ha!
Who's your daddy
now, bitch?!
Oh fuck! Oh!
Man, you guys are supposed
to be watching my back!
Front, come on.
We gotta get to the front!
Grab a tray table!
Oh! Smash that!
Little bitch!
Come on!
Move!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Ow! Get this fucking
snake off my ass!
Oh, stop. You got
a snake on your ass! Yo, hold still!
- Get it off!
- Get him out! Get him out!
- Get him out of here!
- Come on, man!
Keep moving!
Keep moving!
Everybody listen!
We have to put a barrier
between us
and the snakes!
Grab everything from the overheads,
under the seats,
and let's build a wall.
Let's go!
- Ken! Do this.
- Okay.
Help me!
Please help me!
Hi-ya! I'm gonna
put you on my back.
And we're gonna move
towards the front, okay?
- No, I can't. No, I can't.
- Here we go! Come on.
Let's go. Yes, you can.
You can do it, come on, up!
- Here we go. Here we go.
- Mary Kate!
Here we go.
I need everyone to close
any compartment that's open!
Just close them!
- I can't reach.
- I got it.
Let me get it.
Hey, whoa whoa whoa.
It's only me. What's up?
- I can't find those two little boys.
- Little boys?
Tommy and Curtis,
they were by themselves.
- Hey!
- Mister, my brother-- he got bit.
I was supposed
to take care of him.
You are taking care
of him, sweetheart.
You're taking care
of him right now.
- Is-is he gonna die?
- No, honey.
But you have to be brave
for him now, okay?
Okay, sweetheart.
Are you okay?
My baby!
Where is my baby!
Oh, Lord.
- Oh, my baby!
- Here you go.
- Go go go go! Hurry!
- Thank you!
Come on! Come on!
Come through!
Hurry, hurry!
Help! I need help!
Oh my God, Grace.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
- Let me, let me. I got her.
- Oh my God.
I have to go
and tell Rick.
Grab the first-aid kit!
Grace, hey hey hey...
Here's some water.
Come on, man, you got to drink water.
Breathe, breathe.
We missed the bastards
because they
were cold-blooded.
Come on, come on.
John, John, listen
to me, you're okay.
Just take a deep breath,
John, you're having a panic attack.
Mmm...
Oh, shit.
You've gotta
be kidding me!
Good luck.
John?
Son of a--
Hey hey hey, we have
to figure something out.
All right. Well,
I know what I gotta do.
We're in a 200-foot
aluminum tube
and we're 30,000
feet in the air.
And any one of those slimy
little pieces of shit
can trip a circuit
or a relay or a hydraulic
and this bird goes down
faster than a Thai hooker.
So my job is to keep LAX informed
on how totally screwed we are,
and then find some way
to keep this mother
in the sky another two hours.
Figure that out.
- Hey hey, where you going?
- Uh, I have to go down.
I have to help
the passengers.
Now there's supposed
to be a doctor aboard. A Dr....
Robert Foster.
Robert Foster!
Wait, here he is.
Here he is. Dr. Robert Foster,
row 11, seat H.
Yeah, Harris.
Um, Sanders is dead.
You know all those goddamn security
scenarios we ran?
Well, I'm smack in the middle of one
we didn't think of.
What the hell
you talking about?
Eddie Kim somehow
managed to fill the plane
with poisonous snakes.
Wait, hold on.
What kind of insane plan is that?
He can't
possibly guarantee
that the snakes
are gonna get to Sean.
Yeah well, he doesn't
have to guarantee it
if he brings
the whole plane down.
Listen up.
Everybody listen up.
I want a crisis team
at LAX, ASAP.
And I need the cargo manifest
for every scrap of freight
on South Pacific Air 121.
I can't believe
I'm saying this.
I need the best poisonous snake
expert in this time zone.
And I need him in my ear or at my side
in 20 minutes or less.
Well come on, people, let's go!
Somebody make that happen for me!
Hey, tell surveillance,
don't let Eddie Kim out of their sight.
All right, we have to--
we have to suck out the poison.
- Man, I ain't sucking nothing.
- Okay, I'll do it.
What?! Oh, there'll
be no sucking.
Man, Troy, get this
man away from my ass!
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, we sure. Thanks, pal.
Okay, sweetheart,
it's gonna be okay.
Oh my God!
Hold my baby, please.
Forget about that.
Do you have any
olive oil on the plane?
- Olive oil? Olive oil.
- Yeah.
- I'm on it.
- Yeah, in a cup!
Okay.
When I was a kid,
whenever we went hiking,
we always carried olive oil and a razor
blade in case of a snake bite.
I need something to cut.
Here you go.
Okay, this--
this will work, yeah.
Okay, oil. So you
swish it in your mouth
to seal it
from the poison.
- Look at Claire, Tommy.
- Look at me, sweetie--
It's gonna hurt
a little bit, okay?
- Okay, now.
- It hurts.
You're so brave.
Yeah, it's gonna
be all right, Tommy.
Ow! Ah!
That's what
I'm talking about.
- Good, boy.
- Yeah, I think I got it all.
It's gonna be okay, Tommy.
You're very, very brave.
Um, I-I got bit too.
- Flynn, what the hell--
- Just sit tight.
I can't. l--
Do you remember the first
thing I ever said to you?
Yes.
So what was the first thing
I ever said to you?
I-I know,
but things have changed.
What was the first thing
I said to you?!
Things have changed!
You have a whole plane full of sna--
God! "Do as I say,
you live."
Nothing's changed.
Now I need you to stay
up here by the air phone.
When Agent Harris calls,
you come and get me.
You got it?
Got it.
Hey hey hey! They're getting through
the luggage, here, seriously.
I need some help!
Fire extinguisher!
- Ken!
- Agent Flynn, here.
Weapons-- we have to have weapons.
Where's the silverware?
Well, we don't-- we don't
have any silverware.
All we have is this.
- Sporks?
- Yeah.
Here.
Use that.
His name is
Dr. Stephen Price.
He's-- he's some kind of
hardcore snake specialist.
And customs uses him
as their go-to guy
for any animal
smuggling cases.
- The go-to guy?
- Yeah. So he must be good.
Dr. Price?
- It is I.
- Hank Harris.
I'm hoping this is important,
I've got baby Antiguan racer eggs
in there ready to hatch--
the first time ever in captivity
- Really?
- It's very exciting.
Wow. I got another exciting first
I'd like to tell you about.
I need another!
Help, somebody!
Come on!
Help me out here!
- Please, I can't-- I can't do this!
- Hold on, I'm coming!
Come on! Somebody get me another
fire extinguisher!
All right, we we got
less than 90 minutes.
We've already lost over 50 people
and that's including an FBI agent.
Okay.
Look, we've already
contacted local ERs.
Oh, local ERs.
Uh, I don't think you
understand the magnitude
of what you're
dealing with here.
LA County ERs can,
at best,
handle the occasional
snake bite.
Uh, not an entire
I'm going to contact
the National Poison Control Center
to have them alert every ER
in the tri-county area
and to order every available helicopter
crew to be ready.
We've got less than
two hours to mobilize an entire army.
Flynn, Flynn!
Hey, they got-- they got
a snake guy on the phone.
Who the hell is that?
His name is Dr. Price.
Look, Doc, people are dying
up here. We need help fast.
Okay, just break open any blisters
that form around the bites.
- Keep them clean.
- We're doing that.
- It doesn't seem to be doing much good.
- Snakes don't attack
unless they're
provoked, right?
Something up there
is making them go crazy.
Yeah, no shit.
They're attacking everybody
and everything up here.
They're especially fond
of those fucking leis.
Leis? Jesus,
I don't know, uh...
it could possibly
be a pheromone.
That's what female animals release
to trigger mating behavior.
It could also provoke
serious hyperaggression.
Like some kind of drug.
Well, that's good news.
Snakes on crack.
How could you imbeciles
let somebody put snakes--
- We need to turn this plane around
- I don't want to die.
- We need to get them to a hospital
- We're almost to LA now.
Know what they call that?
The point of no return.
So this is it?
That's what the plan is?
We sit around here waiting
for the snakes to bite us?
Look, everyone
just calm down, please!
We're doing
the best we can here.
Okay, look, there are hundreds
of species of snakes
with hundreds
of cocktails of venom.
Some will kill you
in two minutes,
others in two hours
and some you can
actually cure with
a good night's rest.
But here's the thing:
If you administer
the wrong antivenom,
that will kill you.
I am not
a zoologist, man.
I can identify maybe
two of the snakes I've seen up here.
A cobra
and a rattlesnake, okay?
You're going to
have to be more--
much more
specific than that.
Oh, shit.
Um, look, um,
I'll round up all
the dead ones I can find
and-- and I'll call
you back, okay?
Make it fast.
Time is tissue.
Time is t--
I want to know
what's going on.
- Get out of the way!
- No, no! No!
You guys are not
supposed to go up there.
- Move, girl!
- You can't take the stairs!
You can't keep
us down there.
Why exactly are there
snakes on this plane?
- I don't have time to explain.
- Well, you better make time.
You put us at risk
and you're gonna tell us why.
What I'm gonna tell you
is to go back downstairs now.
Man, who the hell
you think you are?
Whoa whoa whoa,
okay, look.
The snakes are
on the plane because...
I'm supposed to testify
tomorrow against Eddie Kim.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
we're all dead.
Not me.
It's my job to handle
life-and-death situations
on a daily basis.
It's what I do,
and I'm very good at it.
Now you can stand there
and be the panicked, angry mob
and blame him, me and the government
for getting you into this.
But if you want
to survive tonight,
you need to save
your energy
and start
working together.
Now what we need to do
is go back in there and find
all the dead snakes we can
so the doctors
on the ground
will know what kind
of antivenoms we need.
Whatever you find,
you bring it to me.
And I don't need to tell
you to be careful.
Whoa whoa whoa,
where you going?
I'm going with--
I-I can't just sit here doing nothing.
Remember when you
said it's all about choices we make?
Well, I'm making one.
Don't treat me like a prisoner!
I need you
to stay up here.
- Why?
- Because if you die,
then all this
was for nothing.
Sit your ass down.
We got a snake, man.
Okay, Doc, I got one
here that's, um...
I guess, brownish on top and I'd say
green on the bottom.
Wait a second, pure green?
Or is it blue?
Um, well, if I had to guess,
I'd say green.
No no no, teal.
It's a deep shade of teal.
It's-- it's teal, Doc.
Why don't we just
take a picture?
Oh, sure, let's drop it off at Jiffy
Photo when we land, Einstein.
Ever heard of e-mail,
dick-wad?
All we need is a digital camera
and a computer.
Or this.
It's got both.
Doc, I'm gonna e-mail you
some pictures, all right?
Rick!
Rick?
Rick!
Rick!
Oh, God.
Are we landing?
- There are no lights down there.
- I don't think so.
Doc, photos are
coming to you now.
Everybody,
buckle up now! Now!
Oh my God, no!
- Come on, buckle up. I got you.
- Oh my God!
Fucker!
Hya!
Okay, let's pull
this thing up.
Hula 1-2-1 heavy, you're descending
through 23,000 feet.
There's no time to strap in,
just pull up, pull hard!
Somebody help me!
Somebody help, they're coming through.
Tiffany! Tiffany!
Look out!
- You okay?
- Yeah.
We gotta get the people upstairs.
It's safer there.
Somebody help me.
Kill them!
Hula 1-2-1, heavy
you're now below 19,000 feet.
Do you copy?
It's not working.
- I wanna get out.
- Let me get you up.
Get upstairs, come on.
Go!
Go go go go!
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
pull up. Pull up.
Get out!
Hurry!
- Out of the way!
- Move your ass, God damn it!
Go, go!
No.
Come on, quicker!
- Come on!
- Move it!
Move it!
Hurry!
Hang on to me.
I've got you!
Get me off this plane!
Come on!
Get back!
Go, quick!
Move!
Oh shit!
Mary Kate!
You animal!
- You animal! I hate you!
- Freakin' dog, lady.
- I hate you!
- Why did you do that?
What? You all would have
done exactly the same thing.
Somebody do something.
Look out!
Oh my God!
Let's go. Hey hey,
in back of you!
- Behind you.
- Come on!
Come on, move move move!
Come on, come on.
We gotta block the stairs.
Grab bags, everyone.
- Come on!
- Pass it down!
Get me NTSB.
And call the Coast Guard.
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
you are now below
Pull up!
Oh, my God.
Holy fuck!
Oh, thank God.
Wait a second.
What about the life raft?
- Use this!
- Good idea.
I got it!
Hello, can anybody
hear me?
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
somebody wanna tell me
what's going on up there?
We've lost our--
Rick.
- Hold, hold, push!
- Come on, hurry!
Kill it.
Kill it!
Here, grab an end!
Oh, Rick.
Hold it, hold it down.
Push it down.
That's great, okay. Get it down.
There you go. There you go.
Don't let anybody down.
Oh, Rick, your arm.
Okay.
There you go.
Oh, yeah,
you know, Claire,
I think I'm gonna need
your shirt, too.
- Oh, Jeez. Very funny.
- Gotta try, right?
Uh, Rick, could you please
engage the autopilot?
Yeah, here, I got it.
Do you think you
can fly with one hand?
Oh, baby, you'd be amazed at what
a man can do with one hand.
All right, I got this.
You go get it.
Do your business.
We, uh, we had no choice.
The snakes were everywhere.
Yeah, okay, I guess you
did what you had to do.
Yeah.
These aren't
North American snakes.
So what? What does it matter?
Let's just get the antivenom
- and take it to the airport.
- No no no, these snakes aren't even
from this continent.
They're from all over the globe.
Only a handful
of US hospitals
even carry
foreign antivenom.
- How long?
- How long what?
- How long to get the antivenom here?
- I don't know.
At least a day,
maybe two.
What do we do?
I don't know if there's anything
we can do.
What are you drawing
there, sweetie?
Oh, wow,
that's really good.
I'm really sorry
about your dog.
Thanks.
What's up, buddy?
Trying to get this guy to slam
the basketball. He just won't do it.
Last month they offered
early retirement.
But no,
this broad needed
one more tour of duty.
You were here
for a reason.
You saved my baby.
That's a pretty
good reason.
Hey, it's too--
Flynn, it's too hot.
I'm from Tennessee.
I hadn't noticed.
Anyway, heat's the least
of our worries.
No no no,
listen, listen.
The air's not recycling.
He's right.
If there's no air conditioning it's
gonna get too hard to breathe.
Shit!
Okay,
how about the zoos?
How about the zoos?
I mean, zoos got snakes, right?
So they must have
antivenom there.
We would need a detailed list
of every species involved,
with that exact number.
And an exotic shipment like this would
only come through a dealer. So...
All right, well, who
in Hawaii would do that?
And no one in Hawaii, because snakes
aren't indigenous to Hawaii.
But Eddie Kim lives
in LA.
Could he have
shopped locally?
Yes, only one guy could arrange this
many illegal snakes.
He lives out
in the desert.
Take us
to the heliport.
You don't think I know
it's hotter than hell in here?
We also have abnormal
vibrations in engines one and two.
I had no choice
but to throttle back.
- You slowed down?
- Yeah.
Well, you know.
- It's that or option B.
- Which is?
I go faster
and the engines seize up;
We eventually plummet
to a horrible death;
They spend the next year
identifying femurs.
Okay, so just tell me
how to get
the AC back on.
We've lost power
to the outflow valve motor.
- Which is where?
- Well, you gotta reset it manually.
The breaker's down
in the cargo hold.
Yeah.
Sucks to be you
right now.
Get off me, man!
I told y'all stop touching on me
and coughing on me.
It's disgusting up in here.
Stay away from me.
Yo, how come there's no air coming
out of this piece of junk?
How come there's no air
coming out of here?
Only lasts about 10 minutes after
they deploy. Now please, I need--
Please nothing.
Get out of my face, man.
- If you could please just take a seat.
- Back away from me, man.
- You sit down. Back away from me.
- Whoa whoa whoa.
Back away from me.
Get up off me, man. Back up off me.
Hey hey hey hey.
I gotta get off
this plane, man.
- I'm sick of this bullshit.
- Listen, brother, you got to chill.
- Look, just get a grip, all right?
- You get a grip, man.
You get-- get...
Hey, back up,
back up. Back up!
That gun goes off
in this pressurized cabin, we all die.
Well you know what?
I want some air.
- What's the matter with you, Clarence?
- What's the matter with you?
No, what's the matter
with you, man?
Hey, look, you know we go back to when
we were kids, all right?
But I don't even
recognize you right now,
waving a gun at all these
innocent women and children.
Man, there's a baby
right over there, man.
We're all in trouble here, dawg.
This ain't just about you.
Sit your ass down,
Clarence.
Whatever, man.
It's the snakes!
Shoot. Now what?
Breathe deep.
Oh, God, Grace.
Claire.
Claire.
I need you
to be strong.
Come on.
- Let's go get these people some air.
- Okay.
See this?
I went through
a pyromaniac phase as a kid.
- Here.
- You too, huh?
Anything else I should
know about you?
Let me go with you. You don't know
your way around down there.
No, I need you up here.
You're my eyes and ears.
Call me.
Be back
soon as I can.
- You'd better. Be careful.
- Yeah.
Okay, I'm here.
Okay, the EAP panel
should be on your right.
Okay, here I go.
Hey, how's your boy?
I don't know, man.
He's in a lot of pain.
- Here, man, take some of this water.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, you got any water?
- Sure, yeah.
Thanks.
Look, I'm not really good at this whole
apologizing thing,
but I'm sorry
about pushing you.
It's all right.
You too, man.
That's-- that's--
that's my bad.
Okay, it's okay.
Oh...
Iooks like somebody
rigged this, uh...
access panel door
to stay open
so the snakes could get out.
Be careful.
All right, so where's
this outflow breaker panel
you were talking about?
Oh, it's in the very
next compartment.
Shit!
- What's going on?
- The goddamn lever's stuck.
Ooh, hey!
Flynn, are you okay?
Yeah.
- Oh! Oh...
- Yes!
Okay, well,
that's a good sign.
Shh!
Do you guys
hear that?
Kreitler's been busted
twice by customs
for possession of illegal snakes.
There he is. That's him.
Down, down!
Get the door.
- What are you doing?
- My job.
Area's secure.
Send in Dr. Price now.
Wow, that's gonna
leave a mark.
That's a desert
blacksnake.
That's indigenous
to the Middle East.
- Looks like you can use some antivenom.
- In the fridge.
- Hurry!
- Ooh, hurry.
The Middle East.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Dr. Price,
but that would make
that snake illegal, wouldn't it?
Yes, yes, it would.
How long does that give
Mr. Mullet here to live?
I would say
about seven minutes.
Seven minutes, huh?
All right, listen to me.
Hey, I would love
to do this whole dance, you know,
take a nuanced approach to interrogating
you, but the truth of it is,
I don't have time
to be subtle.
I want a list of every snake
on that plane.
You got less
than seven minutes.
On the clipboard.
- The clipboard!
- Hang on to that.
- Is that every snake on that plane?
- Yes.
- Did Eddie Kim pay you to do this?
- Yes!
Look, give me the shot,
God damn it.
What are you gonna
do, call the ACLU?
How'd you get these guys to be so
aggressive, that's what I'm wondering.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Hey.
You're wasting it!
Pheromones. We sprayed
the flowers with it,
so it would circulate
in the plane's air system.
I swear to God.
That's it.
Okay.
All right.
Bring in Eddie Kim. Charge him
with multiple counts of murder
and attempted murder and get that
piece-of-shit attorney on the phone.
Yeah, tell him to ask Kim
what his preference is.
Gas or lethal injection.
Oh, thank God.
Flynn, it's Harris.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Outstanding.
All right.
Everybody, listen,
they have the antivenom.
It's gonna be waiting
for us when we land in LA.
Hear that, little man?
Your brother's gonna be fine.
It's all up
to the pilot now.
I'll go give him
the good news.
Rick.
Rick.
Rick, open the door.
What's going on?
He's not answering.
Rick!
- Ho!
- Oh my God!
Get him up!
Uh...
I can't believe
I'm gonna say this:
Is there anyone here
who knows how
to fly a plane?
Claire, Claire, I'll do it.
I'm sure the tower
can talk me through it.
No no no, Flynn.
I know who could land this plane.
- Who?
- Him.
Yeah, you.
Come on, Troy.
You know you can
do this, man.
Come on,
take us home, dawg.
You know how to fly?
Hey, man,
I got over
This is all you've
talked about.
Troy, you can do this.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Yeah, I can do this.
We gotta clear the snakes
out of the cockpit.
Yeah yeah, clear the snakes
out of the cockpit, yeah.
Enough is enough!
I have had it with these
motherfucking snakes
on this
motherfucking plane!
Everybody strap in.
I'm about to open
some fucking windows!
Take this.
Tie it
to the cockpit door.
Let's go.
Listen, when the windows
go out, the cabin's gonna lose pressure
and oxygen. You gotta get us down
as fast as you can.
All right,
everybody make sure
you're strapped in
as securely as possible.
Remember,
it's going to be loud,
and it's going to
be cold.
Hold your breath
as long as you can, all right?
And protect your head.
Use your arms.
Is everybody ready?
- Ready to do this?
- Let's do it.
All right,
take the position.
One, two,
three.
Do it now!
Let's go!
Hit that autopilot switch
for me.
Whoo, whoo! That's what I'm
talking about, boy!
This shit is bananas!
Hold on!
Hold on!
Come on, baby!
Come on, push.
Yeah, right about there.
Okay,
we're leveling out.
You okay?
Troy, the plane's not level.
It's not level!
Yeah yeah, I know that the plane
is not level, okay okay?
Gimme a break, man.
All right, wassup?
Wassup, y'all?
What it is.
What it is!
This is your new pilot Troy speaking,
and sitting next to me
is my main man,
my brother from another mother,
the biggest pimp
that I know, Superfly Agent Flynn.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Agent Flynn.
Sir, have you got any experience
piloting a jet aircraft?
Oh, yeah, F-15s,
F-16s,
A-10 Warthogs,
I've flown all that shit.
Then we're all thankful
to have you, sir.
- What squadron were you with?
- The Awesome Fighting Aces.
Man, I'm telling you,
them video gamers
got their shit
locked down tight.
Sir, are you
telling me
that your only real
flight time is
at the controls
of a video game?
No, see,
it's-- it's not a video game, all right?
It's a flight simulator.
- Is that a PlayStation or Xbox?
- PlayStation 2.
Man, it's got an introduction by
Chuck Yeager and everything.
Look, Flynn, man,
I can do this.
Trust me.
Look, LAX, just give
me my VOR numbers
and my approach vectors,
and I'll be fine.
Sir, I suggest you relinquish
the pilot's chair
to someone more
experienced.
This is Agent
Neville Flynn, FBI.
You are talking
to the only person
up here who has
that experience.
I suggest you give him
what he needs
so we can
land this thing.
Oh!
Oh!
So, uh, you are
pretty good at this game, right?
Yes, man.
No problem.
Well, I mean, my older brother Randy
has got the high score,
but I'm good.
Asshole never lets me
hear the end of it.
LAX tower,
this is Hula 1-2-1.
Requesting clearance for landing.
Please advice which runway.
Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
we're in the process
of clearing all the runways,
but you got a strong tailwind.
Advise, come around
and use runway
No no no, negative, tower.
I can't do that.
I don't have time
for westbound orientation.
Look, I got a lot
of injured passengers up here
who need help
immediately.
You try to land west to east,
you'll come in too fast to control.
Well, then I suggest you
speed up clearing the rest
of the runways, 'cause my ass
is coming in for a landing!
All right, brace yourselves,
you guys, this is it.
Everybody
brace yourselves!
Here we go.
Brakes!
Brakes, Troy!
- Put your ass in it!
- This part ain't in the game.
Is crashing part
of the game, huh?
I don't know, man. I usually just hit
reset and start the level over.
Oh, shit, left!
Left! Turn this big
motherfucker left, Troy!
Whoo!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
All praises
to the PlayStation.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
That's my boy, Troy, yes!
Hell, yeah!
Whose house is this?
Troy's house, that's right.
Fuck Randy!
Fuck Randy and his high score.
That's my own brother,
and I say, "Fuck him!"
Man, my ass.
My ass, man.
Okay, let's get going.
Over here!
Got them!
Okay, everybody.
Thank you!
Hey, Doc, thank you.
And hey, good luck with
those Antiguan racers.
It was nice working
with you, Agent.
Please help!
Help please!
- This boy is unconscious.
- Keep that close, all right?
He needs oxygen
right away.
Did anyone see the snake
that bit this boy?
- Show 'em, sweetie. It's okay.
- What is it?
I couldn't find the snake
that bit him, so I drew a picture.
It's a cobra, right,
like Indiana Jones?
That's excellent.
Lactin and Ringer's solution, 25ml.
I'll do the antivenom.
Sean.
Before everything gets crazy out there,
I wanna say thanks.
Couldn't have done
this without you.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Let's lock this guy up
who tried to kill us.
Give him a hand!
Down down down.
couldn't breathe.
- You all right? Come on.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
- Oh, man.
Nice.
Stings like shit, huh?
Yeah.
This is Agent Harris,
the guy on the other end of the phone.
It's an honor.
Kenny, baby.
Oh my God.
Oh my God!
Oh! Oh, I'm gonna
get you home.
Come on, let's go.
My little cowgirl.
Claire.
- Hey.
- Um...
now that you've saved my life,
I think I kind of owe you a dinner
to show my
appreciation.
Well, I would very much
like to take you up on that.
- Is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Call me.
- Will do.
- Sean, hey.
- Hey.
Oh, damn.
I'll definitely call you.
Thank you.
How do you like flying
in first class?
Do you remember the first
thing you ever told me?
What the fuck's that got
to do with anything?
What was the first thing
you ever told me?
Do as I say
and you live.
Exactly.
Now it's your turn.
Do as I say,
and you live.
# Blue skies,
party people #
# Out on the beach
you got the burning show #
# We keep on rockin'
till the early morn' #
# I say, hey now, now #
# Come on,
I say, hey now, now #
# Don't try to keep 'em
if they got to go #
# I wanna keep 'em
till the early morn' #
# I say, hey now, now #
# I say,
hey now, now #
# Spearhead in the area #
# You really so the girl #
# And I would do
anything for you #
# It's true,
it's true #
# Come on,
I wanna-- #
That's it! I have had it
with these
motherfucking snakes
on this motherfucking
plane!
# Times are strange #
# We got a free upgrade
for snakes on a plane #
# Fuck 'em,
I don't care #
# Pop the cheap champagne #
# We're going down
in flames, hey #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
- # Come on, bring it #
-# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom
in their eyes #
# Goodbye #
# It's time to fly #
# To make the skies alive,
is it serpentine #
# Lounging in their
suits and ties #
# Watch the whores parade
for the price of fame, hey #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
- # Come on, bring it #
-# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom
in their eyes #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom #
# In their eyes,
goodbye #
# Ladies and gentlemen,
the snakes are slithering #
# With dollar signs in their eyes,
with tongues so reptilian #
# This industry's venomous
with cold-blooded sentiment #
# No need for nervousness #
# It's just
a little turbulence #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom
in their eyes #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# Honey, I'm gonna
make it out alive #
# So kiss me goodbye #
# I can see the venom #
# In their eyes,
goodbye #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it #
# Oh, I'm ready for it #
# Come on, bring it. #
We seem to be losing altitude
at an alarming pace.
From midtown
to downtown,
snakes on a block.
I suggest you grab
your ankles
and kiss
your ass goodbye.
# That visibly a vagabond #
# Yeah, just tag along #
# Not one single care
in the world #
# Not even any carry on #
# They say there's
a future ahead so #
# I wanna fly out there
and see #
# I just smiled
and said hello #
# And sat right next
to Destiny #
# I leaned over
and asked him #
# Would we be okay? #
# He said that he wasn't
at liberty to say #
# Send me an angel,
an angel #
# The sign of the times,
he said, but take it in vain #
# I'm no stranger
to danger #
# But I'm scared
'cause I swore #
# I saw a snake
on the plane #
# I'm tired of these
motherfucking snakes #
# On this motherfucking
plane #
# I'm tired, I'm tired,
I'm tired #
# I'm tired of these
motherfucking snakes #
# On this
motherfucking plane #
# I'm tired, I'm tired,
I'm tired #
# Send me an angel,
an angel #
# The sign of the times,
he said, but take it in vain #
# I'm no stranger
to danger #
# But I'm scared
'cause I swore #
# I saw a snake
on the plane. #
# Snakes on the brain #
# Don't throw up signs #
# That don't land planes #
# It's a risky game #
# You don't want
us to play #
# I hate the player #
# And I hate the game #
# 'Cause it's nature's
game #
# You've got
to let it go #
# You've got to let it go #
# All your fantasies #
# Will fuck you up #
# Don't let the snakes
coil up #
# Around your neck #
# Before you land
the plane #
# Before you win
the game #
# Snakes on the brain #
# Snakes on the brain #
# Snakes on the brain. #