Soccer Killer (2017) Movie Script

Sir, do we open the city gates
for the cuju game or not?
No way!
Letting the Super Eagles
in will be catastrophic!
We cannot hold this match!
Impossible, sir
Sir, Qiuliang turned Leopard Khan down
and the whole nation was destroyed!
What's going on?
What's that noise from outside?
Run, sir!
Protect our master!
Leopard Khan?
We've got trouble!
Your Majesty! The princess has escaped!
My brother, you have always been weak
The entire country knows that
Prime Minister Qin is a traitor
He is scheming with Leopard Khan
(Emperor Bao'er) to have the Eagle
Claws team hold a match here
They've forced us to put up
half our land as wager
It's outright robbery
I'm not fleeing. I'm on a mission
I will find the masters
of the eight martial arts sects
and ask them to help us
beat the Eagle Claws
(MinisterQin Nu)
Damn your sister!
I set up a marriage between
her and Leopard Khan
so we wouldn't have to play this match
Now that your damn sister's gone missing
Offer land to beg for forgiveness!
Your Majesty
(Senior official Liu Yuen)
the people are resentful
They say the government
is corrupted and incompetent
We cannot give anymore land away.
If we do
Leopard Khan will live
right outside the palace!
Piss off!
If you don't want to give up your land,
then play this match
If you win,
then you can save your country!
Minister Liu!
Are you alright?
Your Majesty!
Your Majesty!
Hurry back, Changping!
The Phoenix Becomes a Pheasant
Your Highness, this awesome outfit
(Palace servant Ju Yige)
may work in concealing our identities
but it's tiring me out!
(Princess Changping)
To communicate with martial arts masters
we must dress like them
(Palace servant Ya Dahu) Don't you think we
look like the characters in Ashes of Time?
Not at all
All I know is that
I have hair in my mouth
No pain, no gain
Look at the idiots that have been
standing there for four hours
That lightning rod on his head
must weight at least ten kilograms!
(Ling) (Mao Cilang)
When I first laid my eyes on this man
I felt a murderous rage
This murderous rage...
comes from the woman standing
next to him
Your Highness
I think they look more like
real martial arts masters!
They're obviously con artists
Let's go!
aren't our outfits just awesome?
Even the Ashes of Time girls fear us!
you do look pretty awesome!
But, if I may ask...
what is my outfit supposed to be?
The invincible East!
then what about the board on your head?
You don't keep up with fashion trends?
This is the all-powerful,
dashing leader of the Mystic Dragon Cult!
can you do me a favor?
Ask away!
My head itches!
Still itchy?
Mr. Wang from the archives told me that
the princess took the criminal records of
the eight sect leaders with her
Prime Minister!
Prime Minister!
I think the princess will seek the
help of the eight sect leaders!
So what?
They're all kung fu masters
I'm afraid that...
I'm not afraid of them!
Words of wisdom, Prime Minister!
Very well!
This is what we'll do!
Bring on the eight sects!
A young maiden of 18 is like a flower...
A flower
Curvy eyebrows and big round eyes...
Abbess Miejue
The Phoenix Dances in the Nine Heavens!
The Red Leaves Fall!
Defeating a Thousand Soldiers!
Sliced Cucumbers and Radish!
IamGuo Huaqiang,
leader of the Mount Hua Sect
also known as the Sword Master
I can't believe I have to
slave away in this kitchen
and spend my days with that
tone-deafZhang Sanfeng!
(Guo Huaqiang)
L, Zhang Sanfeng
will use the most gentle form
of the Ying Yang Palm
With its vigorous inner power
I will extract a thousand threads
of tender love forAbbess Mie Jue
and create noodles of yearning!
(Zhang Shanfeng)
The eight martial arts sect leaders
working in a kitchen! Exactly!
They're no grandmasters!
Maybe they're spies! Shut up!
They're more like master chefs!
What're you talking about!
Behave yourself!
Keep your mouth shut!
Hey! You got a death wish?!
I hired those waiters upstairs
and I hired you lot, too
They're already done several
rounds of service
And you?
You haven't even finished
one round of laundry!
Do you all want to go
back to the nunnery? Huh?
Ying Don't touch me!
To be honest
If it wasn't for those useless,
corrupted imperial officials
hadn't make our troupe go out of work
we wouldn't be working as fake nuns
Cut up some slack
If it wasn't for that corrupted
Minister Qin
would we have ended up here?
Spare me!
Your Kong Tong Sect Seven Harms Fist
will be the end of me!
I just asked you to grind the stone
Why did you have to smash it
with your chest?
(Shi Tianjing)
If you want to grind a gem stone
then use a grinding machine!
Smashing rocks with our chests is
all the Kong Tong Sect can do!
How dare you talk back to me?!
Who is it?!
Can you give me a chance?
(Yi Feilun)
lamYi Feilun, leader of the Kunlun Sect
Don't worry,
the Kunlun Sect does not quibble
Give me a chance, sir Stop!
You win, OK?
I want nothing to do with
you kung fu masters anymore
It's my fault, OK?
Consider it charity. Keep the change!
Don't pick it up!
Who is that?
Qing Song, from Qingcheng Sect!
Yi Feilun!
Where's your dignity?!
(Qing Song)
My wife is in the hospital,
but I can't afford her treatment
The government flattened
Mount Kunlun's shrine of enlightenment
My disciples don't even
have a place to live
How can you ask me about my dignity
You can be poor and
still hold your head up!
Get up... hurry...
If you're so good at flying, why did it
take two hours to deliver noodles?
Sorry, boss
There were too many orders!
Yang Chun Noodles!
Yang Chun Noodles?
My little girl ordered braised
beef noodles!
I've had enough of you!
(Ling Qiaomiao)
I made you all lose your jobs
because my wife
I'm truly sorry!
It's OK! This meal is on me!
Didn't I just lend you
that copper dollar?
This copper dollar has
caused you too much grief
You're better off without it
That coin committed no crime
We're all here today
because of that incompetent king
Sanfeng is so attractive when he's sad!
That's right
The government does more harm
than ourSeven Harms Fist
no martial arts clan can fight back
Everyone is hurting!
TheysayMount Hua Sect's sword is ruthless.
I say our corrupted officials are even worse!
Land prices are even flying higher than me!
Let's just eat!
Leave some for the abbot!
Namo Amitabha!
we have a job offer!
A businessman wants us to
put together a cuju team
We'll get room, board and a salary.
There's even a year-end bonus!
That's great!
It's none of your business!
I don't know you very well
Why did you do that to me?
I don't know you, either
so the way you treat him
is the way I'll treat you!
Go away!
I don't know you very well
You don't have to wipe my face
Go take care of the Abbot
Go on
this is a great offer
Who's our benefactor?
He's a real estate man fromGuangzhou
Is it Donald...?
But his name is Minister Lao!
He's a government official?!
We refuse to work
for a government official!
What the hell was that for?!
How dare you help a government official!
No ducking!
What are you doing?!
I treat him the same way
you treat me. You know that
I'm sorry
I don't know you very well
Go away. I don't know
you that well, either!
If they don't know each other,
why are they always killing each other?
We refuse to work for the government!
Wouldn't helping him make us accomplices?
We still have our dignity.
We won't do it!
Just like you all,
I tactfully refused him at first
But when he said that
he has dirt on all of us
I agreed immediately
All of us here are clean
What could he blackmail us with?
I made that expression, too!
Where is he staying?
Fulai Inn
When does he want to meet us?
OK I'll go do my hair
and get a change of clothes
See you tomorrow!
Where did everyone go?!
Why do I have to pay the bill every time?!
Ling, do you remember our
master's dying words?
Revive the Mount Mao Sect
and save the world
I dream of being a hero!
But, Lang, I remember that our master
didn't say a thing before he died
Isn't that why we don't know
the Mount Mao Sect martial arts?
There's also this thing
We don't even know what
is inside this Night Disk
Put that away...
He didn't make a sound,
but that doesn't mean he didn't say it
It was an unspoken message
Get it?
That's deep, Lang!
From what I hear
this is a huge opportunity for us!
Not only will we revive
the Mount Mao Sect
we can stand alongside
the eight sect masters!
When did they ask us to join?
It's not up to them.
It's up to Minister Lao!
get eight guys to pose as the
sect masters and steal their records
I'll be the hero and save Minister Lao!
Let's go!
You haven't paid, skateboard head! Hey!
You go buysupperYou stay here
Go! Yes, Your Highness!
It's so tough to dress as a man.
I've this fake mustache on all day
Minister Lao is a woman!
Don't worry, Your Highness
I'm sure the eight sect masters
will join us. Have some tea
Are we doing this?
Who is it?
Tie the princess up. Hurry!
The servant, too!
Search for our files!
The other servant will be back soon!
You must have the files on you!
I'm going to search you!
What? I've found it!
Why couldn't you wait 'til
I've got her clothes off?!
This is yours!
I didn't sell any fake medicine!
I killed the magistrate
that flirted with my wife
Mount Hua's Huaqiang was
the one who sold fake medicine!
Why are you fighting me for it?!
This one's yours! Give it to me!
Let me see
you're a fake nun?
That's none of your business!
I went to jail for accidentally
messing with an underage girl
Don't you dare mock Miejue!
What was your crime?!
He's a crossdresser!
It's still less perverted than you two
Getting into fights
over a fake nun!
We may have been corrupted officials
but don't our new identities
show how sorry we are?
How do you know so much about the abbess?
He bought my hair to make a wig
He's actually bald
That's right
They're disguised as a monk and
a Taoist priest to avoid being seen
I met Lamp first
but later I fell in love with Sanfeng
For some reason,
I then had a daughter with Lamp
But I can tell that
she looks more like Sanfeng
It's all in your mind
That's your name under
father on the birth certificate
I, Mao Cilang,
am here to save you, Minister Lao!
Shouldn't Ling be in here with them?
Grab him! He's a spy!
The eight sect leaders want to
kill Minister Lao and destroy their files!
What the...?
You hired another group of guys?
How can I afford that?
Then these guys are...
I knew you would come to
steal your files
that's why I set up this trap!
The files you have in your hands
are all fakes!
Even the woman tied up over there
is a fake, too!
Look there if you don't believe me!
My smart palm
has already recorded your
attack of Her Highness
If you don't play the cuju match
I'll give the files to
the story teller on the bridge
Your acts will be known all over town!
Well played, Your Highness!
With a great leader like you
how can we possibly lose?
That's right
We'll definitely win!
That's awesome
My friends
we should let Her Highness get some rest
We have practice in the morning!
Good night, Your Highness!
Good night!
Hey, who's going to pay us?
You didn't even say your lines, man.
Why would you get paid?!
Hmph! Let's go!
Hey, wait!
Ling! Wait!
Wait, you scoundrel!
My name is Mao Cilang, Your Highness
This is my criminal record
Please force me to
join the team using this
You're nuts!
I hate fraudsters like you!
It's true. I have stolen
many hearts in the past
But ever since I metYour Highness
I've become a new man.
My feelings for you are true
Please let me join the team,
Your Highness!
Aren't you worried that
I'll kick your ass?
I don't, I don't...
I won't believe it!
Let go!
I won't! Even if it kills me
My love forYour Highness is eternal!
Are you done?
I'll stab you with this knife!
Very well. Your Highness wants me dead!
To prove my undying love for
Your Highness
I'll spare you the trouble
I'll do it myself!
If this knife stabs me,
then it's a murder weapon
If this doesn't
then I'm keeping it
as a symbol of our love!
Get out!
Are you OK?
We've hit the jackpot!
Not only did she not kill me
this symbol of our love is harmless
She likes me
You mean, you like her!
This is a honey trap
I'm using the princess
to revive the Mount Mao Sect!
So... you're not going to marry her?
you have to consider the big picture!
When we get married
she can be the official wife,
and you can be the unoffical wife
What's the difference between the two?
Just as the titles say
The official wife cleans, cooks,
takes care of the kids and everything else
Being the unofficial wife means
you don't have to do a thing
You just have to chill!
I'll believe you if you sign a prenup!
Sure, I'll even leave
my fingerprint on it
Hell, I told you
Why would good, ordinary folks work
for the imperial government?
It's a bunch of thugs and scumbags!
I thought only lowlifes would
work for the government!
I didn't expect you so-called
kung fu masters would join us!
Sect leaders
I look forward to your performance!
You don't need us for these small-timers
Abbess, the three of you can have a go
The southern regional match
of the Emperor's Cup
starts now
This is the renowned Eight Sect Leaders
versus the Southern Bodyguards
Listen up
There's an empty bronze candlestick
hanging down the ceiling
The first team to get the ball into
the hollow center wins
Let's play ball!
Holy crap
the nun is flying
You want to intercept?
Sanniang! Pass it to me!
Please don't, master!
Please don't do it, master!
I beg you, please!
We haven't had a job in three years!
We need the money to feed our families
We can go without eating
but we have kids and elders to feed!
We beg you...
We beg you...
Why didn't you put the ball in?
Please don't...
Please don't...
Don't be upset
We... ah!
No sudden moves.
She'll die without an antidote!
Who are you?
(Du Sanniang)
We're the Jiangdong 108 assassins!
(Song Bing)
We're here to kidnap the princess!
(Sun Xin)
I'm Du Sanniang!
So that's all the great
sect leaders can do?
What's up?
You pervert, you're flirting with the nun?
I'll kill this slut! Ah!
Something's gone wrong. Let's go!
They're flying, too...
Get out of here, now!
Miejue! Come with me!
Grab Princess Changping!
Leave now, Your Highness. We'll stop them!
Let's go! Now!
Sir, help us!
What's going on?
There are bandits over there!
We gotta run!
Grab Princess Changping!
It's too dangerous! Don't go!
Reviving the Mount Mao Sect
is my responsibility!
If you're going to die, I'll go, too!
Not today
Why not?
Today's your birthday
I've ordered a ring to be delivered
at the temple
You have to sign for it!
Got it! I'm going back to the temple!
Any man who marries a girl that
can be deceived that easily
is truly a lucky man!
Your Highness!
Your husband is coming to save you!
Help me! Help me! Get her!
Get her!
Mount Mao power!
Look at all this blood
You scared now? Hmph!
Run, Your Highness!
Mount Mao power!
Don't worry,
the Mount Mao power makes me invincible
A little bleeding is normal
Get the princess!
I'll take this. Leave if you're scared!
The princess and that Taoist
from Mount Mao
were taken to Mount Phoenix
by those bandits!
That place is a maze
It'll be hard to find Jiangdong
108's hiding place!
You must be tired Let me
I don't want to wake her
I mean, let me carry both of you
What are you doing over there?
Lang told me to wait for the delivery
Where is he?
The princess and him were...
They've gone after the bandits
They told us to come here and
make sure you're safe
He was thinking of me
even when he was in danger!
I'll boil some water so I can
wash his feet when he comes back!
Why did you lie to her?
You can tell how much she loves him
To tell her that he was caught
while trying to save another woman...
isn't that cruel?
Listen up. Our agreement
with Prime Minster Qin
says that we have to detain
the princess for ten days
When the Emperor's Cup is over
and Leopard Khan has won
then we can let her go. Then...
Aren't we supposed to kill her?
We may call ourselves assassins
but we've never killed anyone before!
Keep an eye on them
Let's go!
Open your mouth!
The honor of being fed byYour Highness
makes my injury all worth it!
This is all your fault
If one of the sect leaders was
by my side
I wouldn't have been captured
Mount Mao power...
I could tell you're a con man
when I laid eyes on you. Huh?
What's wrong with you?
Stop faking. I won't fall for it!
Hey! Somebody help me!
He has a fever!
Do you have a blanket?
Am I dreaming?
The princess gave me her clothes
Such an ideal wife!
I don't want those dirty clothes.
Throw them away
I understand. I'll wash them
do you want me to wash your underwear?
When a woman refuses to
let a man wash her underwear
it means that she wants to
wash his underwear!
Since you love me so much, Your Highness
I'll do my best to get you out of here!
Finding True Love In Adversity
As a new arrival
I have to find a way to
assimilate into their world
So I started with their daily lives
I helped them balance their accounts
and took charge of their daily expenses
When I had spare time,
I helped the kids with homework
I joined in on their mahjong games
when they needed a player
Why did I do all that?
To save the woman I love!
This is Super Barbie!
I got this from
an Foreign language teacher
while studying abroad
Not only is she virtuous
she's also dignified and lovable
I can't believe that a doll
could charm the kids like that
Not just the kids. The adults, too
Look at that pervert!
This is the preliminary match
of the Emperor's Cup
The Buccaneers versus...
The MotleyCrew!
Athletes, enter!
Prime Minister Qin
Why do these players look so odd?
People who are willing to work
for the government all look like that
You should've married your sister
off to Leopard Khan!
Watch the game!
I know Changping will
find the eight sect leaders!
The public funds you siphoned
have been mysteriously taken care of!
I hope you're satisfied with my service
Hey! Lock the safe!
Yes, sir!
Put your back into it,
or I'm replacing you!
Mao Cilang!
My husband is neglecting me
for that Barbie
and he stays out all day!
Mao Cilang! I'll kill you!
Your husband's love for Barbie
has nothing to do with me!
It's a matter of taste. if he won't change,
then you have to change!
You want me to be a Barbie?
What's wrong with that?
Let go!
Let go!
Are you messing with me?
You're a woman, too Say something
Talk is cheap
I'd castrate him!
Alright, alright. Don't cry
Don't be so pessimistic!
Look at me. Look at me
Gimme that
You cried so hard
If your husband likes to visit courtesans
then why don't you find out
what's good about them and learn it?
How do I learn it?
The most famous southern courtesans
are multi-talented
What are your talents?
I can kill and pillage!
Let's face it
substance is not something
you can pick up overnight
That's OK. We can fix the exteriors first
What exteriors?
You can shave
I don't have facial hair
Damn your sister!
Your Highness!
You're a woman. Give her a demonstration!
You get it now?
I got it!
I didn't know a woman can be so disgusting.
I can't stand it!
Why are you standing there?
Yes, sir!
I love fierce women like you
You twisted trait...
A token of apology
Two keys. One for the cell
and one for the stable
I'm not a traitor
I was undercover
I taught the kids how to draw
so I could dupe them into
drawing a map for our escape
Your Highness
are you touched by my brilliance?
You're nuts!
I'm saving myself for my husband!
That's right, I will be your husband!
Don't believe me?
There's one way to tell
Take your hair and my hair,
then throw them both into the air
If they naturally curl up together
then we're destined to be married
Here's a gift for our love!
Mao Cilang is here!
Master Mao, you're here
What the hell are you doing?!
Back off!
Master Mao, my wife has been
possessed by a ghost!
Is that so?
Hey, Sun!
Your wife isn't possessed by a ghost
She's been possessed by a demon!
Go away!
I think she's really been possessed
by a demon
We were at it for four hours
I used 81 positions
and she's still not satisfied!
Didn't it feel great?
It did
Didn't you save a lot of money
by not going to the massage parlor?
I did
Where will you spend
all that money you've saved?
Buy more Barbies
Where else?
On land!
You should invest your money
in real estate
Develop your first plot of land!
Oh. Got it!
I'll go buy one right now!
Your Highness?
Your Highness?
Your Highness?
Save your breath!
I let her go
Why did you let her go?
You know, she's better
at selling than a salesman!
What do you want?
I want to negotiate
on behalf of my brother
We've already made
an agreement with Prime Minister Qin
We're making 200 stones
of rice out of this deal
We've already eaten
the 100 stones we got up front
We're indebted to Qin
There's nothing to negotiate!
Haven't you considered that the
rice belonged to you in the first place?
If he hadn't been oppressing the people
by raising taxes and ripping off
their hard-earned money
would you still have
such a tough life today?
He's taken 10,000 stones
of rice from you
and you're only getting 200 back
Does he really deserve your likes?
Qin has pushed us to the edge
The Manchis are at our doorstep
Why do we fight each other
when we should be united
against our invaders?
Help us with this match
Punish the wicked
and bring back the rule of law
so you save yourself
and give our people a future!
What... what future?
I'll ask His Majesty to pardon you
We'll help everyone here
This mountain will become
an urban renewal district
We'll build affordable housing
and education infrastructures
Your children's chances of
acing the high school exams
and getting a great education
are entirely up to you!
The real estate pitch again!
The antidote
Go save the Abbess
A pass to the Emperor's Cup finals
Qin has already paid off the other teams
so that we can assassinate
the Emperor on the day of the match
Why didn't you just give it
to the princess?
She doesn't want to see
the eight sect leaders
Thank you for your kindness, Song
As a token of my appreciation
take this pair of briefs
It's been on me for years
and it holds a lot of precious memories
It's yours now
Think of me when you see these briefs
Thank you so much!
Anyone who's seen a wuxia film would know
that martial arts warriors
only have one set of clothes
Thanks to your generosity
I can finally have a change of clothes!
This does wonders for my hygiene!
I wonder if the size will fit me...
One size fits all
Thanks so much!
It's getting late. I'll take my leave
Master Mao
Go after the princess
How can I catch up?
She's been gone for so long
I sent her to a much longer path.
You'll have no problem catching up
Why did you do that?
Remember she said that she didn't
want to see the sect leaders?
My woman's intuition tells me
that she just doesn't want to see you
Hey! Need a light?
Hey! We agreed on escaping tomorrow
Why are you running tonight?
Why are you running from me?
Huh? You...
did our hair really curl up?
Seems like we're destined to be together
No way!
Your Highness!
Your Highness!
Your Highness!
Do you need to pee?
You're in over your head now
She suddenly went from rough to ladylike.
You've hit the jackpot
Hey! We have to
find the eight sect leaders!
The KingdomofXianglong VS The Super Eagles
Big news, Your Majesty!
Her Highness has returned
with the eight sect masters!
Didn't you say that
you have our criminal records?
When are you returning those to us?
Hey... l got it!
Your Majesty, I've developed
a new miracle drug called Powerful
Would Your Majesty like to try it?
Please don't. Fake drugs are dangerous
You should learn zhenqi meditation.
No additives
no side effects
Good for three months!
I'm so relieved to have
the eight sect leaders here!
Lang, the palace has snacks
that you can't buy out there...
Your Highness, the palace has snacks
that you can't buy out there...
I know. I'm tired of eating them!
Then I'll eat them!
Don't keep it all to yourself
you have to take care of the little ones...
Sis, the palace has snacks that
you can't buyout there...
First of all, I'm not little!
Besides, I'm the one
who takes care of Lang!
Second, there are snacks out there
that you can't eat in here
I'll buy you some
if you can ever get out!
Third, onlyCilang can call me sis!
Excuse me
Lang, come with me!
Excuse me
What are you doing?
What is it?!
I don't think you're just using the
princess to revive the Mount Mao Sect
You really want to be her husband!
Aren't those the same thing?
Marrying her is to revive
the Mount Mao Sect!
Wait... we have an agreement
She's the official wife
and you're the unofficial You liar
Spare me. Your eyes betray your words!
Ever since I joined the
Mount Mao Sect at six years old
I've been studying the expressions
on your eyes
Until now
your eyes have a total of 37 expressions
The ones you often use on me
are number 25: being shady
Number 22: Lying
Number 19: Stubborn
And number 15: resignation
When you were offering
food to the princess
I noticed a 38th expression
an expression that
I've never seen before
Tell me! What did you two do
on Mount Phoenix?!
What did she say to you?
What are you thinking about now?
What are you saying?
I have no idea
what you're talking about!
You're sick!
You think I want to do this?
I'm sacrificing myself
for the good of our sect
Put that away!
you're lying again
Your eyes tell me
that you've really fallen for that woman
I usually play dumb
because I know you like it
But do you really think I'm so dumb
that I can't tell between real
and fake feelings?
Mao Cilang,
Her Highness is looking for you
she has a task for you
I'll be right back
That's really too bad!
Who the hell is it?
It's not my business
but I'm reminded of my late son
He was also used by the princess,
like Cilang
In the end...
What happened in the end?
Well, I'll put it this way
Why would a princess fall for
a Taoist priest from Mount Mao?
She wants him and the eight sect leaders
to lose to the Eagle Claws
and die on the field!
What good does that do her?
When I told His Majesty that his sister
is conspiring with the invaders
he suspected me just as you are now
He would never believe that his sister
is selling out our people
Hmph. She's a disgrace
It's OK
I'm glad
that you call me uncle
When you entered the palace,
I saw you as family
how can we save Lang and
the eight sect leaders?
They won't die if they
don't play the match, right?
Congratulations, Your Highness
We'll take our leave
Your Highness!
Did you want to see me?
What's wrong?
His Majesty...
asked me about my marriage today...
We can't speak openly here
Meet me tonight at the pavilion!
Ha, she dashes away when
she sees me. Like a mistress
running away when the wife shows up!
You should've come a little later
She's talking to me about marriage
Lang, I was actually just testing you
I was worried that you're really
in love with the princess
Also, I spent all night catching
the fireflies in this box
Give it to the princess tonight
Open it in front of her!
If you propose then,
she'll definitely say yes
Then the revival of Mount Mao
is within our reach!
What a plan, sis!
Wait! There's more!
Take this pair of insoles
I hope you guys win!
You're so considerate. I'm touched!
You're welcome
I gave them
to the eight sect leaders, too!
Mao Cilang...
Mao Cilang...
Your Highness...
Aren't we here to talk about marriage?
Why do we have to sneak around?
I'm a princess
my brother will never
let me marry a civilian
The marriages of princes
and princesses have always been political!
Are you planning to break
with tradition, Your Highness?
That moment, I thought that
the princess have completely fallen for me
but I didn't expect the next plot twist!
Don't believe him!
His stupid theory about
the hair curling together...
I heard that when I was 15 years old!
Don't listen to her!
Enough already. You said that by
getting close to the princess
you'll revive the Mount Mao Sect
and become wealthy, right?
I didn't say that!
Stop it, Ling...
Are you alright?
I'm fine, Your Majesty?
Your Highness
there's been a robbery in the palace
What's that in your arms?
I caught them for Her Highness!
To prove your innocence
open that box in front of everyone
right now!
Explain this to Her Highness!
What's there to explain?
Didn't you just do that?
I swear
my feelings for you are true!
That's right
he said that he'd marry you
He's even drafted a prenup!
It's not what you think...
That's enough!
This man has made the princess upset.
Execute him...
Yes, Your Majesty
Don't worry, Lang
The Prime Minister
isn't going to execute you
He came up with the fireflies idea
Prime Minister! The eight sect leaders
have been poisoned!
What's wrong, Abbot?
Ling put poison in the insoles!
Look at what's happened to everyone!
Lang is also wearing the insoles
Why would I poison him?
See? It's not poisoned
Maybe you are trying to help Cilang
become the top of the nine sects!
What are you talking about, uncle?
You gave me the insoles
You told me to do this!
My dear
why would I do that?
The sect leaders are the kingdom's only
chance of beating the Eagle Claws
Why would I hurt them?!
I can't believe that a young person
like you could be so vile!
Don't worry, masters
I will get the best doctors to cure you
so that you can play tomorrow!
Listen up!
Put them in prison right now!
Don't worry
I'm here
Your Majesty, the physicians say
the masters only have 20% of their powers
and the poison will reach their heart
if they use it
Looks like the match has to be...
The physicians say that they've never
encountered this poison before
Am I to be responsible for
the fall of our kingdom?
Your Majesty, we can put out
recruitment notices online
and form a new team
It's too late!
Your Majesty, I need to talk to you!
I have a solution
For our nation and our people
I've decided to marry the foreigner!
You mean, you'll marryLeopard Khan?
No, I mean you will!
Of course it's me, you fool!
That music sounds familiar!
Where have I heard it before?
Of course you have.
It's for wedding ceremonies!
Come here! Come here!
Today it's Her Highness' wedding
The Khan is passing out
gifts to everyone...
Is she...
For the people of the kingdomofXiangyun
may our ancestors help us
beat the Eagle Claws!
Even if the poison reach our hearts,
I would die willingly!
This is the way of
a true martial artist!
Can you see anything?
I can see it
I can see the sedan!
Call to her!
How? She's too faraway!
Do you have a rock up there?
Throw it at the sedan
to get her attention!
Stop it already
How can we find a rock in here?
I got a way. Here!
Reflect the sunlight off
this to get her attention!
Can she see it?
Is it working?
Has she responded?
I got it!
Lang, I've discovered the secrets
of the Mount Mao cloud atlas
are you on wires?
The Mount Mao power has called on
the gods to possess my body
I'll teach you later
Who the hell is that?
Lang has unlocked the cloud atlas
Go back and help him and the sect
leaders defeat the Eagle Claws!
What are you doing?
Were you on wires?
Move it! Still talking about wires...
Don't go, you two!
you were the one who wanted
this cuju match
and save Xiangyun from evil
You started all of this
and now you're the first to
run away at the sight of trouble?
Are you qualified to be a princess?
Are you qualified to love Cilang?
I wrongly trusted Qin and
got Cilang in trouble
He showed you the prenup
that I forced Cilang to sign
but you believed him so easily
Do you deserve Cilang's love?
Shut your mouth!
I've heard enough!
I'm telling you to go back
because I know that
he'll be happier with you
I'm letting him go because
I love him more than you love him!
Come on!
That's enough. Stop vomiting!
Leopard Khan! Leopard Khan!
Defeat the Manchis!
Long live the Emperor!
Leopard Khan! Leopard Khan!
Long live the Emperor!
Long live the Emperor!
I hereby proclaim...
the start of the match!
It's coming too fast! I'll block!
Don't use your power, Lamp!
Don't use your power, Guoqiang!
Sanfeng, the poison will go to your heart
if you use your power!
Before I die, I have a question for you
Go ahead!
Who do you love the most?
How are the eight sect masters?
Five of them are seriously hurt
The other three are struggling out there!
What's his pulse?
Blood pressure?
177 over 40
What about intracranial
and intra-abdominal pressure?
L... haven't checked
You haven't checked?
Get a bamboo tube and
put him on an lVdripfirst
His blood vessel is drying up
Type O blood!
What do we do?
Transfusion. Right now!
Type B. Not compatible!
Not compatible?!
Then why did you cut me?
I think you should check
before you cut...
we have a match!
Get MasterGuo here for
a blood transfusion!
Me again? Why?
Don't you have to make sure
our blood types match?
Don't worry!
You're type O.
You're compatible with everyone!
What about me?
Suck it back in. Don't waste it
Not a single drop!
Who else needs a transfusion!
Yi Feilun! Yi Feilun!
Put him down. I'll take this!
Mount Mao CPR!
Keep him under observation!
Who groped me?! Who groped me?!
Can they still be saved?
In their condition,
only the gods can save them!
That's right!
I'll go get the gods to save them!
Then we'll have a fighting chance!
Your Majesty
The eight sect leaders are all down
Accept your defeat!
Minister Liu!
Minister Liu!
Minister Liu! Minister Liu!
You're all trash.
Who else has the guts to come up?!
Action beam!
General Xu!
Leopard Khan! Leopard Khan!
Anyone else left in this kingdom?
What's that sound?
It's the sound of the people!
We're ready to fight! We're not afraid!
We'll defend Xiangyun with our lives!
Long live the Emperor!
Long live the Emperor!
Long live the Emperor!
Long live the Emperor!
We'll come together
and build a human wall to block the goal
The ball won't be able to go in!
I'm indebted to you all...
Long live the kingdom ofXiangyun!
Your Majesty!
Leopard Khan!
I'm here, too
Stand up straight!
You animals!
Why are you upside down?
What are you doing up there?
I came from heaven
I'm not used to gravity yet
Are you all changed? Come down already!
Who are they
The Eight immortals!
This is the highest level
of Mount Mao's power
Avatar of the gods!
Now the game begins!
This is great!
Since we're possessed by the gods,
we're invincible now!
You guys better watch out!
My kick!
It's our turn now. Block this!
This is great!
Ladies and gentlemen
our most powerful move!
The upgraded Flaming Palms!
Another day, another month, another year
Working hard to move forward
All we wish is smooth sailing ahead
and live our days in bliss
In every home, every village,
every province
everyone is working together
to build a home
Wanna out jump me?
Out jump this!
I hate people who out jump me!
Try jumping now!
Where's your flaming palm now?
It's extinguished now
You couldn't learn a proper weapon?
A hammer?
It's hammer time!
Get him!
Don't hit me!
I am the Sword Master
If you can escape this,
you can have your underwear back!
A hickey hurts less than
getting your blood sucked!
Ah!! No!
She's a girl. Don't hit her face
Didn't anyone teach you manners?!
Let me go. Haven't I already
stopped vomiting?
What's wrong with her? Prime Minister!
China's first man-made satellite,
thank you!
We hope Xiangyun and its people
can forever live in peace
You idiot! I'll kill you!
I know what to do. Knife!
Come with me!
What are you doing?!
Let His Majesty go!
Stay away, or I'll kill him!
Let's see how you'll save him now!
Don't worry, Khan, with him in our hands
we'll definitely...
You disloyal bunch!
They've abandoned me!
I'm taking you down with me!
What kind of knife is this?
Who made it? You fool!
You dummy! That's a gift for my love!
I understand now, Lang
We're too much like siblings to be lovers
I already have someone else in mind
Who is he?
I could tell he had
his eyes on me the minute
That person is... him!
She's so bad!
Your Majesty!
One bow for your ancestors...
one bow for the people...
one bow to each other...
Now, this is a surprise ending!
Now we're closer than ever...
You're so bad!
What kind of relationship
do these four have?
Don't think too much of
these silly stories
Aren't they just made for laughs?
We're in trouble, Your Majesty!
What's wrong!
A ginseng-growing country
in the west is using sports
They've sent a letter of challenge to us!
I'm not afraid.
We have the nine martial arts sects
But they're not playing cuju this time!
What do they play?
Your Majesty!