Some Nudity Required (2023) Movie Script
1
Bella!
Come here.
My sweet Bella.
Hey, we're here
to take you home.
You're never going
to make it out of the void girl.
Come on out.
You know when you've been beat.
Maybe you need a
little incentive.
I'm going to give you
the count of five.
Then I'm going to shoot.
I like the fight in you...
Tear them apart.
Cut! God damn it!
Cut!
Who yelled cut?
I yell cut! I am
the director here!
- I did. Son of a bitch.
- What the hell?
Your check bounced again
for the third time Kip.
Pack it up. Come on guys.
This is no way. There's no way.
My daddy put the money in the
account like two or three days
ago.
Go wipe your ass with them.
They're useless.
Fix this.
Give me, like,
two or three days.
I got you.
Guys!
My film!
Come back!
Come back!
My god girls, what
are you doing?
Everybody's gone.
We know. The asshole called cut
and everyone took off.
I know. The crew's
about to kill somebody.
Yeah, so are we.
But don't take it
out on the actors.
I can't believe this.
I know.
I gave my shifts up.
I need to get them back.
I've been gone for three weeks.
Oh, shifts?
Yeah. I fucking quit my job.
Yeah, I remember when I
told you not to do that.
Seriously, you're going to pull
I told you so right now?
I never say that.
And I hate people who do.
Thank you.
But I told you so.
Bitch, you know I could fucking
hurt you with these, right?
The plastic chains
are going to come for me.
My biggest role.
Gone.
Oh, come on, girls
I'll buy everybody a drink.
It better be a big one!
Mucho grande!
You were listening
to the morning zoo
with Chris and Andy FM on 106.9,
the powerhouse.
This is the Animal.
It's 2:23 in the A.M...
And we're back.
It's time for some fun
in the AM right Andy?
If you say so, Chris.
Every so often we like to bring
in some local talent in the
show.
Help them promote whatever it
is that they're working on.
Today we have some, how shall
we say, female performers.
I've got to tell you, they look
pretty hot from where I sit.
Settle down, animal.
They're going to tell us a
little bit about a movie that
they're working on.
But just like they are, I think
they could talk about anything.
Good morning, ladies.
Morning, bitches.
Hey now.
What?
I thought that's how all
you Hollywood bitches talk.
Actually, so I'm Valentina.
Valentina? I've not
seen any of your work,
but judging from your outfit,
we expect great things.
And now we have a woman
that needs no introduction.
She's graced my presence
and my DVD player many a night.
Please welcome Miss
Madeleine Stone.
Thank you, Chris.
It's great to be here.
Despite some of our
introductions so far.
Well, the pleasure's all mine.
And who is this? Your mother?
I'm Allie Sagar.
I'm an actor.
I'm sure you are. Spill the
beans with the local film scene.
Tell us about what
you're working on.
What's the name? The Fuse?
Oh, well, that
project kind of got
put on hold due
to some technical difficulties.
I mean, we all have
various projects
and different stages of
development right now, though.
That's fascinating, Betty White.
Please tell me, Valentina,
what are you up to?
So when I'm not doing films, I'm
actually doing hair and makeup.
You do hair and makeup?
Yeah. Would you like
me to do you sometime?
Absolutely not.
- Really?
- Hold on, ladies.
How about you Maddie?
Well, as Allie was saying,
I'm working with some
very talented producers,
and once their Go fund me pages
hit their goals, we are off.
And how far is that?
Well, as of today,
we are at 97%.
Oh, so you only need 3%?
No, we only have 3%.
But we are launching
a new bonus soon.
Anyone who contributes $25, they
will get a walk on role in the
film.
So if any of your listeners
want to be in a movie...
That's so wonderful.
Always giving back.
You do not want any
of our listeners.
Actually, so I just got casted
in a new sci fi film that's
being done here locally.
The Reactor? I was
up for that part.
- You know that?
- Well, there you go.
Looks like you two may want
to wrestle in our Jell-O pool,
but on the bright side,
just think of this.
You won't have to remember
all those lines of dialogue.
This has been the local art
minute here at the Morning Zoo.
- Yeah. Thanks, bitches.
- That's it?
Unless you want to get
sticky in the jello.
We'll be back after this break.
(mumbles) Get the fuck
out of here. God Damn it.
Allie, I was going to tell you,
but you know how you get.
How do I get Valentina?
Please shed some light
on this situation.
Like this. You get all
fucking bitchy for no reason.
I do not.
(horn honking, crying)
Yes, you do.
I bust my ass for these parts.
You two obviously
think I'm a joke.
I'm the one here in clothes.
You guys come in
bikinis. We're on radio.
No one can see you.
Okay, now you're being a bitch.
Blue's Clues.
Valentina didn't tell you about
the role because all you did was
talk
about how you
nailed the audition.
I did nail that audition.
Yes, yes, yes.
Who gives a flying fuck?
It doesn't matter
if you won't take your shit off.
Are you getting
all this King Lear?
All right.
Oh, come the fuck
back Margaritaville.
Listen, you're a prude.
Prudes don't get parts
in this community.
I think that there's something
more to getting parts
than taking your
goddamn clothes off.
I'm Madeline Stone,
auditioning for the role of
truck stop Tami.
Okay, listen.
We good?
No, there isn't.
Allie, you're always trying
to be picture perfect,
and you're always trying
to nail that audition.
This script kind of sucks.
Okay, maybe.
No, it's not a maybe.
Okay, you know exactly
what you need to do.
And yet you can never find it in
you to check that little damn
box that says,
Yeah, you're going
to show your tits.
How the hell else
do you think we get these parts?
I can't remember the last time
I went to a cattle call.
You've got to play
the game, Cindy Lou.
We told you a million times, and
honestly, we're sick of you
berating us
at a moment's notice just
because we'll do what you won't.
I don't know what
you're holding out for.
Nothing's come of it.
What are you looking at,
Father Christmas?
You like these?
Phew.
Allie. You hot thing.
I'm surprised to see you here.
You know, this role has nudity.
Yep.
Okay, then.
Whenever you're ready.
That's bullshit.
There ain't no
Southside Slasher.
How do you explain
all these murders?
Girl, that's some crazy shit.
T-Birds, pulling.
Thank you.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Can you please disrobe for us?
Very, very nice, baby.
You're exactly what I am
about what we are looking for.
You got this part,
baby. Now, listen.
We don't start shooting for a
few weeks, but I want to spend a
lot of time
working with you.
Rehearsing. And
getting it right.
Once we get our money, I want to
shoot on weekends and evenings.
Cut! What the shit?
What the shit?
Just reset! Reset!
This is so real.
Are you feeling this? So real.
Is it?
Ladies, this was good. Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, but I need the bite.
I need it.
- Should I lick the flesh before
I bite? - Eww, gross. Why?
You know. Tenderness.
Yes, Yes.
That's it.
Embrace it. Go with it. Huh?
Allie. Allie.
When you get bitten.
It's not pain.
It's not pain.
It's a pleasure.
Yeah.
Yes. And another thing...
Another thing...
When the blood is
trickling down your neck.
And coming here.
Can you do me a favor?
You heave for me. I need it.
Heave? I thought I was frozen.
You are. You are.
Wow! He really knows
what he is doing.
But when she penetrates you
give me an arch.
That's making me heave.
Exactly.
Kill the frickin' lazer beams!
Hey, um, excuse me.
All right, so if we're going in
for the blood gag, I'm going to
need to take off her lav mic.
And that way I'll
just boom them in.
Fine. Whatever.
Do it quickly.
All right, cool.
I'm super sorry.
I just gotta...
That's okay. It's not anything
you haven't seen before.
So, does it sound any good?
Not really.
Not with Dracula's coke
baby humping you like that?
Can we get going, please?
Just hold your horses.
Great.
Don't forget to heave. Heave.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Hey, I.
I just wanted to say it was.
It was really great
working with you today.
Are you here tomorrow?
No, I'm not.
I was just filling
in for a friend.
Oh, that's too bad.
You're going to miss the great
big orgy sacrifice scene.
Oh, my God.
There's an orgy sacrifice scene.
So like. Is there
going to be a live animal
sacrifice or is it just
everyone's dignity?
I guess.
You know, in any event, I can't
make it because, you know,
I'm not really a sound guy.
Anyway, I'm Peter. Hi, Peter.
I'm Allie. What do you do?
I am.
I'm a writer. Or I write.
At least that's
what I tell myself.
That's funny, because I
tell myself I'm an actress.
Every time I'm on
one of these sets.
Yeah.
So what do you do when
you're not on these sets?
I bartend.
Okay, cool.
Cool.
So that was really more of like,
a lame attempt to ask you out.
Would you be interested?
Um. Okay.
All right. Peter, the writer.
I mean, as long as we don't have
to talk about shitty movies,
you don't have any stills of me
on your walls,
or you don't have the
perfect part written for me.
We can definitely
make that happen.
So, yeah, I'll.
I'll see you when I see you.
Let me know what's good.
Okay.
Okay Allie, remember,
he's chasing you.
He's trying to kill you.
Okay, You got it.
So you're scared.
Oh, baby.
You are frightened.
Very nice.
Frightened.
Very frightened.
Okay, here we go.
All right.
Okay.
Roll cam.
Roll sound.
And action!
Fuck.
Cut!
Jesus.
Okay. Allie.
Allie. Allie. Allie.
Not so fast.
Okay, let's try this again.
Okay.
Run fast, but not as fast.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Run slower.
But remember, you are
still scared for your life.
- Slower.
- Understand?
Yes.
He's trying to kill you.
Kill you!
Kill me.
You okay, man?
You good for another one.
Great.
Back to one.
Okay.
Roll cam.
Roll sound
and action!
Cut! Cut!
Aw, man!
Fuckin disaster.
Okay,
you know what?
Look, new idea.
Okay.
Oh, actually you know what?
Better idea.
Okay, Allie, here's the deal.
Okay, you run, but you
stumble as you start to run.
So he catches you.
Okay. That's exactly
what the audience wants.
Always give the
audience what they want.
- Okay, so you got it.
- I got it.
Is he okay?
Hey, man, you need a band-aid?
You okay?
Can you do a third one?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great!
Back to one.
Take three.
Okay.
Roll cam.
Roll sound.
Action!
And cut.
That's not bad, at least.
Allie, come here.
Allie, listen,
I need you to be more sexy.
Less strong.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Okay.
You're fighting off
a little too much.
I want to see some more of,
like, sexual tension.
Okay.
Like, you're scared,
but you're a bit turned on. Huh?
Like you don't like him, but
maybe you do, huh?
Like,
maybe you would do him if the
situation were just a bit
different.
What?
Okay, Like the audience
isn't really sure, but they
are definitely engaged now.
That's exactly what
people want, baby.
But you can't be too obvious.
But not to obtuse.
You see, this is cinema magic.
It's moments that make the film.
Okay, Go with me on this.
Okay.
Become the scene.
Be the scene.
Okay. You got it.
I got it.
Back to one
or not.
Shit.
Oh, call the paramedics.
Jesus.
Baby I gotta ask you something.
Yeah, what baby?
Do you think I'm a good actor?
Yeah, I think you're
a great actor.
- Really? - Yeah, you're really
fucking good.
How would you really know?
Since all my stupid movies are
just stuck in a can somewhere.
I mean, get finished.
Well, fortunately,
because I know the actress,
I get to see a lot
of the footage,
Hey, baby, at least you're
getting paid for them.
That's more than most
people can say. Yeah.
Paid. Right.
Hey, do you want me to start
picking up some side gigs?
No.
You sure?
Yeah.
You have to finish this movie so
we can get the hell out of here.
And it's almost done.
You're going to be so good.
You're going to be amazing.
I'm just really excited
that I'll take my clothes off
or like to play an
actual character.
A character with lines.
That's right, baby.
Good storyline that you wrote.
That's right.
Hey, if I ever start
pushing out tits and ass films,
just put me out of my misery.
Just end it.
I will punch you
right in the face.
Oh, please do.
Maybe in the dick too.
Sure. Why not?
- A couple times.
- Yeah.
Stack it up.
Oh, shit.
What are you doing here?
I thought you were
on Todd's movie.
Don't ask.
Well, you're wasting your time.
This part is mine.
They must have been really
desperate if they called you in
for a callback.
Bitch, please.
Katrina. Do you read this shit?
Yeah.
I swear to God,
if they make me play one more
helpless bobblehead, I'm going
to kill somebody.
How can you be helpless?
You're like seven feet tall.
The last pic I did, they made me
stand on my knees the whole
time.
You're kidding.
I still have bruises from it.
Why didn't you just give
the guy an apple box?
Okay. Yeah, that's what
I asked the director.
And this idiot says Apple box.
What is that?
Holy shit.
- Did you guys hear?
- What?
Tiny's dead.
What? Oh my god!
He friggin had a heart attack.
Everybody's freaking out.
Great.
One more movie
that will never get finished.
Maddie! Will you get
your hair out of my face.
- Are you jealous much?
- Of that rat's nest?
Okay. Okay. Okay. So
what did Todd say?
I don't know.
Last I saw him, he was still
asking his mom for money.
Fucking trust fund, baby.
Yeah.
Howdy!
Who's the cherry?
Couldn't tell you.
She looks like a slutty baby.
Maybe that's because
we're getting older.
- Yeah. Speak for yourself.
- Allie Sager.
That's me. Well, it ain't me.
Break a leg.
Yeah. Don't snap your bra strap.
Thanks. Come on, let's go.
I don't have all day.
Do you want this
audition or not?
So stupid.
I couldn't stop laughing.
Hey, at least you got
to say a few lines.
- Seriously.
- Let me guess the whole.
Let's do a little improv,
perform a little freeform and
see what happens.
Of course. Always
followed by the typical.
Don't you feel like these
clothes inhibit your freedom?
You're so right. I
hate wearing clothes.
I love being naked.
I wish we could be
naked all the time
anyway.
It wasn't too long ago
I used to be offered everything
that came down the pike.
Good, bad shit.
There wasn't an audition that I
wasn't asked to come read for.
And now you get the milf roles.
What the hell? I'm
not even that old.
These look like milf tits.
No, no. But really,
what does it even matter?
We already know the
pre-pubescent teenager with the
perky tits and ass
cheek shorts is the one that's
going to get the part anyway.
The cherry. How do you know? Oh,
because I just saw her walking
with the director.
Holy shit.
The fuck?
What are you going to do?
Get drunk and enroll
in dental school.
Let's do it. It
sounds like a plan.
Oh, damn it, Allie Why?
Oh, fuck Al.
You are a gigantic little baby.
I scared you with this
dumb mask like, 20 times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it's scary to me.
Oh, Peter.
Oh, God. Did I hurt
your little feelings, baby.
Oh, honey I'm so sorry.
Are you sad?
Are you sad, Peter?
Oh, I love you.
That's what you get
and get out of here,
you fucking distraction.
I got work to do.
I got this deadline.
Come on.
Come on. You know,
this is important.
Oh, yeah, but.
Can you unzip me please?
Yeah.
Thanks, babe.
Yeah, baby.
Take this fucking mask with you.
Thank you.
And kitchen counters, Not the
bedroom floor, but, you know,
whatever.
Same difference.
Will you go with me to that
stupid premiere tomorrow night?
Can't Baby deadline.
Come on, babe, Please, please,
please, please, please, please,
please.
Will you go with me. Please.
Just one time baby.
And who's the baby now?
I don't even know why you want
to go. I'm in the damn thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, what you
working on right now?
I mean, I've been thinking
about, like, when Rose and
they go into Binx's village in
the Andes, and they've just got
all that bombing.
So I'm thinking that Binx, he
come out with his automatic
weapon
and lite those bitches up.
Yeah. Oh, shit baby.
That's my monolouge.
That's my scence.
Yeah. That's my monolouge
I want to see it.
No, no, please.
Your referencing
all the general from... Baby.
Yeah, I know, I
know, I know. I know.
It's not done yet.
I'm still working on
it or tinkering it.
You're going to be great.
And I just.
I want you to read it until it's
perfect. I want to be a goddamn
bad ass.
You're gonna be a
goddamn bad ass.
A huge bad ass.
Okay, that's enough.
Fucking gross.
Excuse me.
Fuck. God damn.
Allie. Hi.
Oh, my God. Look at you, girl.
You look fabulous.
Sorry.
I have to wash my hands I got
chocolate all over my shoes and
my hands.
Hi Melissa
Ruth. Samantha.
Hey. How are you?
It's nice to see you.
Sorry I can't talk for long.
I have to go meet Todd
because he has my ticket
and I'm late as usual.
You girls look... Mmm.
Adorable.
Thank you. We just got
a hair done at Ralphs'
He's amazing, and he can totally
help me out with them grays.
Yeah. Yeah.
My cousin went to him,
and she went in looking like
Danny DeVito and came out as
Farrah Fawcett.
Nobody could believe it.
I bet no one could believe it.
All right, I got to go.
You girls have fun.
Nice seeing you.
Okay.
Bye bye.
What a bitch.
Oh, I've got to go find Todd
because I'm late and I don't
know where my seat is.
Total name dropper.
She's, like,
not even not pretty. Up close.
And she's like, not even
that good of an actor either.
She only gets roles
because she takes her top off.
You take your top off.
Burn.
Fuck off.
I'm good. Hi.
What took you so long?
I got chocolate all over me.
How the hell did you get
chocolate on you?
Some asshole left his
wrapper on the ground.
And then I fucking stepped in it
and I picked it off with my
hands,
and I went in the bathroom
and there was a bitches
sitting there,
and they just wanted to, like...
What bitches?
These bitches.
Hideous.
Y'all look hideous.
I mean, Wookiees had to die
to make that vest.
The same ones that
looked at your face.
Stupid ragidity bitch.
Turn your ass around
and shut the hell up.
You definitely don't
want to turn around
and look at me.
You put your hand up.
Yeah, cause I don't want
to see that face of yours.
God damn, I love you.
And I love you, too.
There's still hideous.
Get off your phone.
The movie is starting. Get off
your phone. You're so rude.
You're ugly and rude.
That is not a good thing to
be, girl. You can't be both.
You can't be both.
You cannot do both.
That poor fat fucker.
I'm going to miss
that son of a bitch.
I liked him.
Bitch, you touched me.
Ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow,
You're the south side slasher.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
- This movie sucks!
- Yeah.
What fucking nightmare.
Allie, baby.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm doing great.
So what did you
think of the film?
It was good. Yeah.
Yeah, I. I liked it.
I like the memorial.
Piece for Tiny.
I like the costumes.
Of course. Yeah.
I like the lighting.
Yeah.
Um.
Cinematography was amazing.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice work.
- It was great!
Yeah, it was great.
Listen, me and some my homies
and some of the ladies are
going to my place in my hot tub
for some cocktails tonight.
You coming? Because I'm invited?
I was gonna go to
after party with Nick.
Well yeah
this is the after
party, after party.
If you know what I'm hanging.
Well, I think Peter's
expecting me home.
I don't think I'm going
to be able to make it.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allie.
But thanks for the invite.
But seriously. Hey,
do you have $150 I can borrow
until we make royalties on this?
What the f...
What are you talking about?
Are you serious?
Look... I went over budget.
I owe the theater $150.
What?
I thought would make
it in ticket sales.
But the theater was only
filled with industry people.
Oh, God.
Look, Allie, I promise
I'll pay you back.
Jesus Christ Todd.
Are you on drugs?
No, Although I'm
rather embarrassed myself.
You should be embarrassed.
Allie, just do me a
solid, please. For me.
I have $100.
Allie thank you very much.
- You're very welcome.
- Alright.
Fuck. Now we're on drugs.
Or we're fucking.
Let's go.
I'm tired of hearing
all these people.
Blow sunshine up their asses.
I don't think I want to go
to the after party anymore.
Oh, bitch, you're going.
Let's go.
Oh, what fresh fuck is this?
Oh, my God.
There's only, like,
- three people here.
- And that bitch asleep.
Oh my God, Todd is
so drunk already.
Oh, and that jacket bitch.
That jacket.
Oh it is horrid. It's retched.
They saw us. Hi.
Tits up. Grin and bear it. Grin
and bear it. I don't want to.
Good luck!
Allie!
I see you!
Pardon me sir.
Allie.
Ladies and gentleman.
Miss Allie... (mumbles)
Yeah.
Oh Allie. Now she was
and unnamed hooker.
Number four.
Yeah. Four.
And for giving us
her bar.
For our party.
Oh Allie.
You are my...
What the fuck just happened?
Okay.
Oh, hey girl.
What an amateur.
Oh, hi!
We're so sorry we
missed your premiere.
- Beautiful dog. What breed is
it? - Yours.
(laughing) What did we miss?
Um, nothing!
Same old, same.
This party is a complete dud.
It's fallen to shit.
Literally. Oh, I have an idea.
Let's go somewhere.
Let's go somewhere
with half naked
men where the drinks are strong.
But my willpower is weak.
Where are we going, sisters?
The gay bar!
And then Chipotle.
(echo voices)
Oh, Hey there, my cute
little booze hound.
Did you wait up for me?
Yeah. Do you know
what time it is?
Um...
Morning time?
You're right, it
is morning time.
And guess what you got to
do in the morning time?
Get up.
Yeah, you gotta wake up.
And then what?
Eat some breakfast?
Yeah, you.
You're really going to need to
eat breakfast and then what
follows that?
(mumbles)
Oh I have an audition.
There you go.
Look at her put two and two
together.
You're killing it.
Are you ready for it?
Yeah, I got it.
You got it.
You know your lines?
All the lines.
Let's hear it then.
Really?
Yeah, I excited.
Let's hear them
right now. Really?
Yeah, Really.
Oh, okay. Okay.
All right. All right.
Shake it out. Get limber.
Really feel it.
Make sure you breathe
into your diaphragm.
You're gonna be fantastic.
You're gonna nail this.
Here I am, Doctor
Quinones, on the eve
of your greatest discovery.
That is not the lines.
Shhh.
And all I can think about
is how love me.
Touch me, hold me.
Take me, Doctor Quinones.
Take me for science.
All right, all right.
You don't have to tell me twice.
Fuck.
Off!
Are you sleeping?
Jesus.
Oh, honey.
I thought I looked like I got
beat with Valentina's dildo,
but you look rough.
Oh girl, you fuck off.
You're the one that's sitting in
those sugary sweet,
glow in the dark
bullshit shots down my
fuckin' throat last night.
You liked it.
And the glow in the dark stuff
is the best tasting part.
Mm, I feel like shit
dipped in misery.
I should have canceled.
Fuck, you should have canceled.
That's show biz, baby.
The show must go on.
Oh, you got to be kidding.
Who is this hooker?
That's twice in one week.
Wow!
Isn't her ass cold?
Seriously, It's like
45 degrees outside. Oh.
Oh, fucking gross.
Oh, my fucking God,
Jesus.
Hey bitch.
I can fucking see your puss...
Shhh. Bitch.
What is your fuckin' problem?
I wanna see how this play out.
Have you seen Mike over there?
He's like drooling all
over the sign in sheet.
He's about ready
to jizz his pants.
Boom goes the dynamite.
How do you always know.
Oh, I just know these things.
Oh Maddie.
It looks like you have some new
competition for the casting
couch.
Ow, that my boob bitch.
Your boob deserved it bitch.
You guys, seriously, I
should've stayed home.
I feel like shit.
You should have canceled.
Your face is so bloated.
God damnit. You're such a
fuckin' cunt when you're hung
over.
I'm not the one who walked in
here looking like a macy's
parade balloon.
Oh my god.
Oh, God.
Hi!
Oh, my gosh.
I'm auditioning to
be my mom today.
Do you know your mom?
My mom's dead.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, you're in thermals?
That's everyday wear.
You're from Seattle?
Yeah.
Boom! Oh they don't
like bombs there so um.
Latte.
Tell me you're not.
I fuckin' hate her.
I know, I know.
Just close your eyes.
My mom, you're my competition.
But I think you're going to get
it. If I don't get it, it's
okay.
You look really great.
You're so pretty.
Oh, Secret agent.
Oh, I got a secret for you.
You're going to get the role.
Hey, girl.
You're in sunglasses
inside, like vampires.
Oh, my gosh.
That's so vamp.
You guys look so sad though,
you should smile.
You know what, Kelly Marie?
You should go fuck yourself.
I did, but I lost my vibrator.
Now I just, like,
let my cat purr down there.
Oh, honey, who hurt you?
I found my cat, my
vagina this morning.
Kind of clawed its
way out. I'm bleeding.
(screaming)
Well, it looks like those Jell-O
shots have made an appearance.
(screaming)
(moaning)
I'm so tired.
(toilet flushing)
Allie. Allie. Thank god you're
finally home.
You're not going
to believe this.
Oh, no, not home.
Come on.
Seriously.
Get up! Get up! Get up!
Seriously Peter, I am not here.
It finally happened!
What?
I got... I got the call.
What call?
The call, like the green light.
Hey, welcome to the big leagues.
Like, hey, we want to
make a movie with you.
Like, hey, here's some money.
Like, they want
to give you money.
Yes, they want to give me money.
For the movie? Give us money.
I got to go to L.A. tomorrow
and meet the guys.
Tomorrow?
Yes, tomorrow.
Oh shit!
- Well, I gotta be there by
tomorrow rather. - You need some
money.
Yeah, baby.
I only think I have
like five dollars.
Baby? Where are my shoes?
Where's the shoes at?
Can you hand me the
cookies while you're there?
- Shoes.
- I'm a little hungry.
Okay. Oh, my God.
Why do you smell like vomit?
Valentina. It's a long story.
All right, whatever.
Two.
Oh baby, that's so exciting.
I'm so excited for us.
Yeah, me too.
Just leave the credit cards.
Five bucks isn't going to
hack it baby.
Five? Five?
Yeah, here's the credit card. Do
You know the pin number?
It's a credit card.
You don't use a pin number.
- You just swipe it.
- You need cash sometimes?
Alright it's fine.
That's plenty of money.
Fuck it come over
here, I love you.
You're going to kiss
me with the cookies?
I gotta go.
You're not taking the money.
I'll talk to you when I can.
I love you.
(vibrating cell phone)
What?
Hello, Miss Hager.
I'm just calling to remind you
of your call time tomorrow.
I got to thank you.
(vibrating cell phone)
Oh, my God.
What?
Allie.
Peter?
Hey. I just finished
up with our meeting.
Oh, How did it go?
It's a go! It's a go!
He wants to start immediately.
Oh, my God, Peter,
that's so exciting.
I know. I can't believe it.
I got to stay here an extra day
I got to do some paperwork and
working out casting and
everything.
You know, I have to make
some changes to the script.
Wow.
Okay, well, script
changes, though?
You ain't changing my monologue,
are you?
Hey babe, that monologue in
all yours is going to be great.
I really got to run right
now, though.
Okay.
Bye.
Alright, Chow baby!
Action.
Hey Billy.
Billy.
Billy?
Black Spielberg?
I'm trying to talk to you.
What? What?
Do you want a role
in this now or what?
Yeah. Yeah.
Raction, action, roll.
And you sure?
My costume doesn't even fit.
What do you mean?
I mean, I have a huge camel toe,
and my ass is hanging out of the
back.
Oh, my God.
Just hit your mark.
Say your line.
How fuckin' hard is that?
Speaking of lines,
why would I tell someone
I want to make love to them
if all they want to do
is blow up the world?
Okay, two reasons.
One,
You see, making a very
colorful movie here. All right?
Number two, I wrote it that way.
So please just say it,
if not say something else.
What would you
like to say, babe?
What would you want
in the scene? Tell me.
I've got a line for you.
Fuck this. Screw your movie.
I quit.
What do you mean, you quit?
You can't fucking quit my movie.
Come on. I got
your reel on beta.
Okay. She Apes, What
are you going to do?
She Apes two. She Apes three.
She ain't shit.
So come back,
do my movie please...
I've got a line for you...
You suck balls.
So you telling me
that's a hard no?
Cut!
Back to one!
This is a professional film
set, Allie, not a strip club.
You can't show up
whenever you want.
Yeah, I know, I know. I know.
What's going on?
Is your phone broken? I've been
trying to get a hold of you.
What the fuck are
you talking about?
You're two hours late. Where
is your costume?
I ain't going to
put on this costume.
Wait a minute.
You don't have your costume?
That was very expensive.
I'm not paying you $13
to not dance today.
Fuck Off. I'm not going to wear
this dumb ass bunny costume.
It's very fuckin' tasteful.
She looks really cute.
You look really cute. So...
Thank you.
Peter got the money?
What do you mean
Peter got the money?
I mean, he got the
money for the movie.
Oh, my fucking God.
Yeah.
Oh, my fucking God.
Yeah.
What money?
Allie got the money
for the movie.
Oh, you have money
to make a movie?
- I am a great director.
- No.
You know what?
In fact, I've got
a script for you.
You know what? Don't worry about
your script. It's terrible.
I've got a script for you.
Hey, are we fucking
working here or what?
We paid 250 for this shit.
Yeah, relax.
We'll get back to your
SoundCloud mom's basement band
bullshit in a minute.
What the fuck?
Oh...
Oh, here.
Here, I wrote this for you.
Just for you.
I really don't want it.
You're my favorite. I wrote this
just for you. Nobody else can do
it.
Just you.
No! I don't want it.
That's for you.
No!
Get out of here.
You're going to be in the movie.
And Maddie is going
to be the movie.
And I'm going to be in a movie.
No!
No!
And Maddie is going
to be in the movie.
We're all going to be the movie.
No, no, not you
I don't even know you!
What are you talking about?
I'm tired of being a bunny.
As you should be to be.
I can't believe you did that.
All right,
let's get through this audition.
Why do we even have an audition?
It's just formalities, babe.
Hi, Miss Lamarie.
I've never worked for a female
director before, and I'm so glad
you're on board.
Who are you?
Allie Sagar.
Alright, look...
I drew the short straw.
Okay. I hate straws. They're
killing all the sea turtles.
I don't want to be here.
I should be at the pancake
playoffs with the Food Network
this week, but I'm not.
So let's cut the chitchat.
Let's get going. Okay?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Why are you still standing here?
I don't know what to do.
Are you an actor?
Yeah.
That's a stage.
Get on stage!
Okay, fine.
Uh, Okay, fine.
You know Michelle Winters, yeah?
I do.
Okay, let's hear some lines.
What lines do you want to hear?
Michelle, would you start?
Everyone! Listen to me.
Listen.
It's this what we've become.
Have we not had enough fighting?
Has not enough blood spilled?
Tomorrow may be our last
sunrise, but I promise you
it will be if we keep
fighting amongst ourselves.
We are better than that.
We cannot concern ourselves
with petty differences
between us.
We have to form a new bond.
We are once again
going to fight for our freedom,
but not against tyranny.
We are fighting for
our right to live.
We will not wallow in the past.
Today.
We will face our future and
we will begin our upbringing.
Today we are the
phoenix and from these ashes.
A new world will grow
better than any world
we have ever seen.
End scene.
(clapping)
Oh my God.
That was it. That's it.
We got it. That was amaz...
(whispering)
Okay.
Allie, go ahead with the lines.
Nudity.
Oh yeah.
I'm supposed to tell you
that there might be some
nudity required, Okay?
I don't think it's a big deal.
Just...
Show me your boobs right now.
Go ahead and do that.
We'll just get that
out of the way.
(door slams)
All right, then.
We're done here.
Okay, So rehearsals start next
week with wardrobe and training.
Thank you. Let's go.
What did you do? I drove with
the windows open in my car this
morning.
New pages.
Thank you.
You look like a
dollar store Barbie.
I am a dollar store Barbie.
That's not a good thing.
I know. I'm cheap though.
We know that.
Um, is this where
I'm suppose to be?
I don't know.
Did you get the call sheet?
I have this, I guess.
Who are you supposed
to be playing?
Uh, Rose.
Rose?
That's what Petrie told me.
- Petrie?
- Mm hm.
You mean Peter.
When did you audition?
Yesterday.
Yesterday?
Yeah. I didn't really
think I had time to do this
thing, but the guys talked me
into it.
Are you an actor?
No, I am a fetish model.
I just do this shit for funs.
For funs?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm not really into memorizing
all these lines and stuff.
I can see where that
would get in the way.
Do you know anything about the
character or the storyline or
...?
Not really.
I just know that I'm supposed to
be a sole survivor for this war,
I guess.
Great.
So I was thinking about
this character, Rose,
and I came up with this.
Red toenails.
Oh, my God.
I know, right?
Red nails?
Yeah. Red nails.
Get this.
My mom works as a
dancer at a strip club,
and her boyfriend watches me.
I'm crushing on him.
When the bombs are going off
I'm, like, walking home from
school, and I'm freaking out.
When I get to the strip club,
there's pieces of dead
strippers everywhere.
The whole place
is blown to bits.
And I search and search,
but all I can find is his red
toenail polish.
So I put it on.
On toes, not your fingers?
I'm trying to keep her boyfriend
from leaving me too.
But she's dead.
Whatever.
But get this...
There's more.
Mmm, hmm.
When I get home, he's dead.
Can you believe that?
That's fucked up, right?
Yeah, that's fucked up.
I know. Huh?
So now all I have are
these red toenails.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what part did you get?
I'm playing church. The lead.
What? I thought that was
going to be some old guy.
Right on.
- Hi!
- Hey!
Peter! Can we talk for a second?
No, I'm kind of
in the middle of something.
That's okay.
So Rose, she isn't nine anymore?
Yeah, well, we thought that
it might be best if we...
Who is we?
You know, the Hollywood guys.
Alright, they decided that they
wanted her young, but not that
young.
Why didn't you tell me that?
And for God's sakes, why her?
She's a self-proclaimed
fetish model.
Well, you know, Tripp was
pretty keen on the idea.
Who's Tripp?
The E.P.
The money man.
Look, you need to keep your shit
together in this one, all right?
Because he's watching you.
He's watching all
of us via webcam.
And he's very hands on.
What the fuck Peter?
It completely changes
the storyline.
And this was our movie,
and now he's watching us.
Yeah, well, when you take
someone else's money that you
don't have,
they have a stake
in their return.
Well, you just said we again.
Look, if I don't do what he
says, he'll pull the funding.
All right? Don't worry about it.
You'll still get to be the hero.
You still get the monologue.
It's going to play really well.
All right. Just chill, Allie.
I feel like you're hiding things
from me, Peter.
You just kept keeping
things from me.
What did you do to your head?
Oh, yeah. You like it?
What is going on?
You're not even listening to me.
Peter, we need you on set.
All right, cool. Just Give me a
quick minute. I'll be right
there.
Look, it's just some
rewrites, just recasting,
and it's just a haircut.
All right?
Hold the fuck on.
I said a quick minute.
What?
I know it bother you this much
Just happens all the time, you
know?
You tell me before the
pages fucking hit my lap.
And you look like a
fucking douche bag.
Yeah well you look like a G.I.
Jane was a massive bitch.
What is taking so long?
We're making a film.
I know that. Can we get going?
You know, we have
to do this correctly
so we can win an award
that you can take credit for.
And I will. Thank you.
Let's go. Chop chop.
- Do you have your pilates class
today? - I sure do have a
pilates class...
You might want to
focus on cardio.
Okay dough boy,
look who's talking.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
Okay, sounds important.
Lights important.
Looks great.
White balance. Most important.
You are a racist.
I am a racist?
What about the black balance?
My wife is black.
- She's mixed!
- You introduced us!
Her mother is from Canada!
Take off eh?
No eh!
Let's go.
All right.
Okay. Calm.
Quiet on the set.
Light flares are
important, Dixie.
Are you serious right now?
Yeah! I'm serious.
Alright, get in your anger
management class again.
- I finished that already.
- Stop!
- No you didn't. - Yes I did.
- Step nine, amends.
No, I'm not taking
a text this time.
I worked really hard
on that text message.
Face to face amends.
That's what I want.
- I'm not doing it. I'm not
doing it. - Let's stop.
- Get her a latte. Pumpkin
Spice. - Can I get a goddamn
latte?
For God's sake.
Oh, professionals.
Do you have my latte? No?
Set is over there.
(intense music)
Hello?
Hello?
I am loaded and locked,
so please make a
noise or I will shoot.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
Hello.
Cut, cut, cut!
Astrid! Where's Astrid?
Hi. I'm sorry.
Was I supposed to be here?
Yeah, but you know what? It's
my fault. Really.
I'll do better at
telling you next time.
Okay? You're good. You're fine.
Okay. Cool. Thanks.
Frame.
Cam left. Frame.
And action.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
I am dangerous and armed.
You're here.
Please say something
or I will shoot you.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
What the fuck?
Cut!
Oblivion Lost. Scene 21.
Take seven.
Thank God you're here.
I haven't seen anyone in weeks.
I Have no water and
my mommy's dead.
Mommy?
Mommy.
She's a 20 year old woman.
I see you didn't
rewrite her lines.
All right, all right, all right.
Fuck me, I guess. What's your
deal, Allie?
What's the problem Allie?
I just don't understand
why the lines haven't changed.
Now that Rose is a 20 year
old goddamn grown ass woman.
Everything in this script is
changed except for important
story lines.
All right, You need to
calm down, all right?
You're embarassing me right now.
- Calm down? - What's the
problem, Allie? I am calmed
down.
I am fuckin' calm.
I just don't understand
what my motivation is.
I don't understand why I would
give a shit about a grown ass
woman that calls me mommy and
slaps me right in the ass.
All right Honey,
you're testing my patience
Peter has done a beautiful job
of putting this together for us.
Building the scene
and the characters.
You know what?
You know what?
Let's take five.
I can hear you.
Taking five.
Everyone that's five.
Not seven. Not ten.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look, you need to go
apologize to Dix right now.
What the fuck, Peter?
You need to apologize to me.
You need to keep your shit
together on this.
All right?
Because if this crap keeps up,
she's going to replace you, all
right?
And I get it. I get it.
She looks like she
manages a Dillards.
She walks and talks
like she manages a Dillards.
But just like a
manager of Dillard's,
there's going to be no returns
if she kicks you off set.
Alright?
There's been too much
bullshit already.
Just let it play.
You...
You are amazing.
And you were meant
for this role.
Alright, my writing
is not too bad.
Not always.
Alright, alright.
So just trust me, okay?
And at lunch, just apologize.
We can keep it simple.
Just as long as you apologize.
Fine.
I'm sorry.
Come on, get out there, slugger.
Jesus.
(buzzing sound)
Hey, Dix.
I just wanted to say that,
you know, I'm really sorry.
Shhh. Shush.
Listen...
No. This isn't working.
You had one chance, okay?
All right, now you listen.
You stand up straight, and
put your tits out
and you listen to me
from now on. Alright?
Now.
End Scene. Okay?
New pages once again.
Thanks.
Yeah.
With the fresh hell is this?
Uh, oh.
And that's how I got
these red toenails.
God, that is so interesting.
I bet you were full of
so many fascinating stories.
I really am.
Now, what are you
doing after we wrap today?
I don't even know,
but it's going to be
interesting for sure.
Oh, I believe it.
I know I am.
Do you need a partner in crime?
- Yeah, definitely. I could use
a partner in crime. - Cool.
Especially with
this fabric of love.
I got shotgun.
These gangsta chains.
It's fantastic.
Yeah.
I knew you would
love my red toenails.
All the men do.
Sup!
Sup?
What role are you playing today?
Did you just write yourself
into the script?
The studio thought I needed
to work on my image a little.
The studio?
They make you change the scene?
Oh, yeah.
Hi, Alley Cat.
Hi..
Well, the studio
thought we could sort of
soften your character a little
bit by giving her a loving side.
Do I need to remind you
that that role was written for a
nine year old girl, now how am I
supposed to bed her down?
Look, look, look, look.
All right? I know it's
not going to work.
We're going to let them shoot
it, realize it won't work,
and they'll cut
it out in editing.
You've got to play the
game sometimes, right?
I'm still in charge.
All right, Look at
the big picture.
Alley cat
you trust me?
You know I do.
What are they
doing to our movie?
Honey...
Nothing
there going straight
to the top with this.
It's going to be big.
It's going to be huge, Right?
See it now.
Bam! Coming to a
theater near you.
Bam!
Starring Allie Sagar.
Bam!
Stephen Colbert.
Bam. Jimmy Kimmel, bam.
Red carpet, bam, TMZ, bam.
Huge.
So, like, physicality
is important,
but we still want to capture
all of that emotion.
I think that's really what's
going to push this forward.
Yes, I agree.
Right. Make it captivating.
- You know, hold that thought.
- Allie.
Come here.
Come, come, come,
come here.
Listen,
I see this going
in one take, okay?
I need you to keep the energy up
like I need
the audience to feel like
they're right there with you. Do
you understand.
Like it needs to be raw.
You know, like your hands
kind of fall where they may.
And by that, what I'm to say is
I need you to let it fall on
your naughty parts.
That's what I want.
Okay?
I want to want to
have a cigarette
when the scene is over. Do you
understand what I'm saying.
- Yeah, but what about Astrid?
- She's Fine. She's a trooper.
Don't worry about her.
There she is.
Come here, my little bumblebee.
Hi, honey.
Look at your skin is fantastic.
What are you doing?
Um, it's moisturizer.
I love it. Keep doing it.
All right.
I'll see you later.
Sorry.
It's my birthday.
Okay...
I didn't get a kiss for my mom.
It's your birthday?
Yeah.
Aww.
What kind of kiss did
your mom give you?
She gave me a kiss
on the forehead.
Oh, I'll give you a
kiss on the forehead.
Thank you.
What do you want to
do for your birthday?
(moaning)
I want you to lick my lolly.
(moaning)
Can we lick my lolly together?
(moaning)
Mmm, yeah!
Mmm, yes, can I call you mommy?
Yeah, you can call me mommy.
Thank you.
Hey, Mommy.
Yeah, I'm your mommy.
Mommy, Spank me.
Oh!
I've been bad.
Okay. Are you sure?
Yeah.
I haven't been
spanked in forever.
(kissing and moaning)
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Let's do the twisted sister.
What's the twisted sister?
I don't know. Let's find out.
Okay.
Now touch my booty.
Yeah, grab it.
(balloon pop)
Oh, that is fucking disgusting.
Was it that bad?
14 takes.
Yeah, it was that bad.
I'll be right back, bitch.
Peter!
Hey baby!
Hi baby.
- How's it going?
- Where you going?
Oh I gotta run.
I got to meet up with Dix.
- We got to work out some rough
patches. - I've had a really...
Since when did you start
wearing cologne to write?
I mean, it's just a new thing.
I'm trying to keep up
with the high rollers, baby.
When are you going to be home?
I don't.
I don't know.
I'll be home when I'm home.
All right?
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
But this is really
important, all right.
I got to run.
Peter.
What?
I need you.
We'll talk later.
Okay?
Laters, babe.
Laters babe?
What's wrong with you today?
Just feel like everyone's
keeping things for me.
Everyone knows
something that I don't.
Well I certainly don't.
You'd tell me if you
did, though, right?
Allie, I'm your friend.
I'll never keep
anything from you.
Thanks, Nick.
Hey.
Hi, girls.
You look great. I love it.
Thanks bomb shelter chic.
They pulled it out of a
blender for me.
It looks like it.
Oh, my God. What did
they do to your hair?
They flattened it.
Don't cry for me, Valentina.
Looks like your director doesn't
appreciate full hair.
I guess not.
I'm sorry, but I think it looks
good. It looks really nice.
I fucking hate it.
You'll survive.
How are you?
It's been okay.
It's just not what
I was expecting.
I'm sure it's all good.
If we didn't say thanks
for making us part of this.
Of course.
Yeah. Thank you.
Feels kind of fun
to be acting again.
Really? We even have
lines this time.
Now get out there
and do your big speech, Rambo.
Go out there and make us
cry with your shit.
Thanks, girls.
I love you. Bye.
Quiet! Quiet!
Quiet!
Stop!
Listen, Listen to me.
Listen to me.
So this is what we have become.
Haven't we had enough fighting?
Hasn't enough blood
already been spilled?
Tomorrow may be
our last sunrise,
but I can assure you
it will be if we continue
to fight amongst ourselves.
We're better than that
we're mankind.
Mankind.
That word should have a
whole new meaning
for all of us today.
Our leaders failed us.
But that doesn't mean
they can take away our spirit,
our strength, our will.
We're facing annihilation.
This is not a fight
just for our freedom.
It is a fight for our lives.
I have seen too much death,
too many mothers weeping
at the graves of their children,
all asking why?
Why did we let this happen?
Well, tomorrow,
we stop wallowing in the past.
This is our resurrection.
Today we are the Phoenix
rising from the ashes
to build a better world
we have ever known before.
Cut!
Nailed it.
Honey, you don't have
to deal with shit like that.
Hey, ladies.
Just really
fantastic work today.
I mean, it is just stellar
watching you bring those words
to life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I know what you're
thinking, all right?
And I really.
I really wanted to tell you, but
the studio thought we were a bit
female heavy, and we're
so lucky to have Blade.
I mean, it's still your movie.
Alright Allie? It's
going to be huge. Huge.
Huge. Hey, don't blow this.
We're so close.
It's going to be huge.
Mail call.
I don't need them.
Oh, okay can I
just say something?
I think what you're doing out
there is amazing.
You're so real.
You're like, what,
my acting teacher calls
living in the moment.
Yeah.
- Moment this.
- Ooh, papers. - Yay!
I don't know how I'm going
to get through this day.
You got this, this is
ain't your first rodeo.
That's true. It's not.
But it's my first movie
by myself.
You're going to be fine.
Well, yeah, everything's
going to shit.
Calm down.
You saw those pages.
I know, but you got this.
I'll be fine.
Allie!
Allie!
Allie!
Great. You've
decided to join us.
That's good.
Listen, I need you to just
own it, alright.
Just really get in there.
This is your scene, okay?
And wherever you go, Blade
is going to go there with you.
Okay, look. Hey, look right
here. Right here.
Keep it together.
Listen, I know you're thinking
big, but, I need you to think
bigger,
Bigger.
Bigger!
Mow, mow, mow, mow.
Mow, mow, mow, mow.
Everybody ready?
Sorry.
And action.
Here I am, Dr. Quinones
on the eve of your
greatest discovery.
(grunts)
And all I can think about
is having you love me.
Hold me, touch me.
Take me, Dr. Quinones.
Take me for science.
Dr. Quinones? You've got
to be fucking kidding me.
Cut! What's the problem now!
Trust you. Really?
- You didn't get this scene
right. - You fuckin' cocksucker!
Is there something
that I missed here?
You wouldn't know if you
were missing something
if it crawled out of your ass!
Shut up.
Oh, now, baby, baby,
we can make this work.
It's all about the emotion.
This is what it is, Peter.
Oh, no, it's right here.
- Right there.
- It's right here.
It's the anger.
- Give it. Focus it here.
- Shut up!
You took something I said when
I was drunk and you used it.
That's it.
Bring that.
Bring that force.
- Give me that passion.
- Passion.
Fuck you and the
box you came in on.
I can't work this way.
No more amateurs.
No, no, don't leave.
We love you.
Please.
You are fired.
I'm fired?
Yeah!
That's a wrap!
Yes? What madam?
Oh!
Hi.
I'm here to see Tripp.
Yes, Come this way.
Okay.
- Uh, Tripp.
- Very busy.
I'm Allie. I'm
Peter's girlfriend.
I just wanted to talk to you
about the feature film
that you guys are working on.
Trippi Your lunch is ready.
What is it?
It's your favorite peanut
butter and jelly.
I even cut the crust
off just the way you like.
Mom!
I made 12 million in
Bitcoin alone this month.
And this is lunch,
peanut butter and jelly?
Fuck!
What kind of jelly?
Boysenberry.
I had on my toast this morning.
You know, I like grape
with peanut butter.
It's just jelly.
Then you eat it.
Trippi honey, you know
I'm allergic to peanuts.
Eat it.
And what are you
doing here, exactly?
Oh, well, first off, it's
great to meet you.
Speed it up. I'm very busy.
Oh, okay.
Well I know you've invested a
lot of money into this film, and
I feel the theme
and integrity of the film
are being compromised
with some of the
recent script changes.
Oh you feel.
Oh, that's it.
Okay, try this for feeling.
Number one.
I am the money man
behind this feature.
I could give a rat's
ass how you feel.
I feel. You don't.
Number two.
Peter already said that you
were on board with this.
On board?
With the boobs,
babe. With the tits.
What am I alone in this room?
With the changes?
Number three, I am all about
making films for money,
so I could give two
shits about your integrity.
Ma! Shut up!
(coughing)
Can't you see I'm talking Here.
Finish the whole sandwich.
Cash is king, baby.
R.O.I.
Number four.
Show me your tits,
for God's sake!
Are you fucking serious?
Show me your tits.
Oh, no, no.
- Five, show me your tits.
- Or what?
Number six, You're fired.
Fired!
Can't fire me. I've already
done three scenes.
I have a contract!
Do not underestimate
the power of post-production.
We can fix anything.
This is bullshit.
Bye! Drive safe.
You need to medicate
the little asshole.
Ma!
Fuck!
You're all being exploited.
Prude.
(Allie crying)
Fuck!
Oh God! Oh Shit.
Oh shit! Oh Shit.
Oh shit! Oh Shit.
Ow!
(distant moaning)
Mmm. Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Oh yes!
(man moaning)
Wait, I need my inhaler.
Really?
God! Shit! Allie!
Fucking kidding me!
Let's talk about this.
No, no, no, fuck you Peter!
You just picked the
fucking worst day ever.
It's really not as
bad as it looks.
And, you little twat, get
the fuck out of my bed!
Look, look, monogamy,
it's so last year.
I thought you said
she was into this.
Come on. It's really
not that big a deal.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm. I'm into this?
I didn't like explicitly say.
Hey, she's really
fucking into this.
Come on. It's really
not a big deal, Allie.
I just may have kinda
hinted around the issue.
- Oh come on.
- Fuck you!
- Look, I'm sorry.
- God damnit.
Peter! You small
dick mother fucker.
You know, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you fucking.
You can fucking have him.
I don't even want him.
- Come on Allie.
- Fuck off.
God fucking damnit.
Okay, will you
stop throwing shit?
Fuck.
Fuck you, Peter.
You shrimp dick, motherfucker?
People like shrimp.
I thought you said
she into this.
She's way better
kisser than you.
Do you realize how
much I've done for you?
You owe me.
You're right.
I do owe you.
Oh, fuck.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Do I know you?
Yeah.
Allie Sagar, the
actress you just fired.
Right.
You've certainly
been looking better.
Fuck you!
You're the reason why
I'm in this fucking predicament.
Me? What the hell did I do?
You know the movie?
Oblivion Lost.
You took something
that was beautiful and original
and just for me.
And you fucking ruined it.
Are you high right now?
No.
I did you a favor.
Favor?
What fucking favor?
Wait a second.
Your boyfriend changed this
script a week ago, before I was
even hired.
And as far as your
original movie goes,
this is a rip off of a 1923
silent film with a little bit of
Independence Day sprinkled in.
For razzle dazzle.
It's a dumpster fire
and you should be
thankful it's not
going anywhere.
Wait, you're not going
to finish the film?
No.
Tripp shut it down.
Fuck,
Peter.
Fucking lost everything for
this. And this little fucking
twat.
Dear God, I'm gonna murder her.
Who? Astrid?
No, don't blame her.
She never pretended to
be anything she wasn't.
And as far as Peter goes,
that's no great loss.
Okay, Here you were thinking
that you were making some
amazing
female empowerment statement.
Meanwhile,
you had no idea that you were
making just another piece of
shit for the boys.
Piece of shit for the boys.
Yeah.
Well, if it was such
a piece of shit.
Why are you doing it?
Grow up.
We all take shitty jobs
because we all got to eat.
Okay?
This is just a big boys club
that caters to little boys.
You think you're
going to change that?
Yeah.
You fucking watch me.
Okay.
So where did you get all
the money to do all this?
Well, I've got some
friends friends.
Well...
Here, little Trippi.
Nighty night, little boy.
I even... cut the crust off.
Oblivious.
Scene 22. Take 2.
Mark.
(song)
Bella!
Come here.
My sweet Bella.
Hey, we're here
to take you home.
You're never going
to make it out of the void girl.
Come on out.
You know when you've been beat.
Maybe you need a
little incentive.
I'm going to give you
the count of five.
Then I'm going to shoot.
I like the fight in you...
Tear them apart.
Cut! God damn it!
Cut!
Who yelled cut?
I yell cut! I am
the director here!
- I did. Son of a bitch.
- What the hell?
Your check bounced again
for the third time Kip.
Pack it up. Come on guys.
This is no way. There's no way.
My daddy put the money in the
account like two or three days
ago.
Go wipe your ass with them.
They're useless.
Fix this.
Give me, like,
two or three days.
I got you.
Guys!
My film!
Come back!
Come back!
My god girls, what
are you doing?
Everybody's gone.
We know. The asshole called cut
and everyone took off.
I know. The crew's
about to kill somebody.
Yeah, so are we.
But don't take it
out on the actors.
I can't believe this.
I know.
I gave my shifts up.
I need to get them back.
I've been gone for three weeks.
Oh, shifts?
Yeah. I fucking quit my job.
Yeah, I remember when I
told you not to do that.
Seriously, you're going to pull
I told you so right now?
I never say that.
And I hate people who do.
Thank you.
But I told you so.
Bitch, you know I could fucking
hurt you with these, right?
The plastic chains
are going to come for me.
My biggest role.
Gone.
Oh, come on, girls
I'll buy everybody a drink.
It better be a big one!
Mucho grande!
You were listening
to the morning zoo
with Chris and Andy FM on 106.9,
the powerhouse.
This is the Animal.
It's 2:23 in the A.M...
And we're back.
It's time for some fun
in the AM right Andy?
If you say so, Chris.
Every so often we like to bring
in some local talent in the
show.
Help them promote whatever it
is that they're working on.
Today we have some, how shall
we say, female performers.
I've got to tell you, they look
pretty hot from where I sit.
Settle down, animal.
They're going to tell us a
little bit about a movie that
they're working on.
But just like they are, I think
they could talk about anything.
Good morning, ladies.
Morning, bitches.
Hey now.
What?
I thought that's how all
you Hollywood bitches talk.
Actually, so I'm Valentina.
Valentina? I've not
seen any of your work,
but judging from your outfit,
we expect great things.
And now we have a woman
that needs no introduction.
She's graced my presence
and my DVD player many a night.
Please welcome Miss
Madeleine Stone.
Thank you, Chris.
It's great to be here.
Despite some of our
introductions so far.
Well, the pleasure's all mine.
And who is this? Your mother?
I'm Allie Sagar.
I'm an actor.
I'm sure you are. Spill the
beans with the local film scene.
Tell us about what
you're working on.
What's the name? The Fuse?
Oh, well, that
project kind of got
put on hold due
to some technical difficulties.
I mean, we all have
various projects
and different stages of
development right now, though.
That's fascinating, Betty White.
Please tell me, Valentina,
what are you up to?
So when I'm not doing films, I'm
actually doing hair and makeup.
You do hair and makeup?
Yeah. Would you like
me to do you sometime?
Absolutely not.
- Really?
- Hold on, ladies.
How about you Maddie?
Well, as Allie was saying,
I'm working with some
very talented producers,
and once their Go fund me pages
hit their goals, we are off.
And how far is that?
Well, as of today,
we are at 97%.
Oh, so you only need 3%?
No, we only have 3%.
But we are launching
a new bonus soon.
Anyone who contributes $25, they
will get a walk on role in the
film.
So if any of your listeners
want to be in a movie...
That's so wonderful.
Always giving back.
You do not want any
of our listeners.
Actually, so I just got casted
in a new sci fi film that's
being done here locally.
The Reactor? I was
up for that part.
- You know that?
- Well, there you go.
Looks like you two may want
to wrestle in our Jell-O pool,
but on the bright side,
just think of this.
You won't have to remember
all those lines of dialogue.
This has been the local art
minute here at the Morning Zoo.
- Yeah. Thanks, bitches.
- That's it?
Unless you want to get
sticky in the jello.
We'll be back after this break.
(mumbles) Get the fuck
out of here. God Damn it.
Allie, I was going to tell you,
but you know how you get.
How do I get Valentina?
Please shed some light
on this situation.
Like this. You get all
fucking bitchy for no reason.
I do not.
(horn honking, crying)
Yes, you do.
I bust my ass for these parts.
You two obviously
think I'm a joke.
I'm the one here in clothes.
You guys come in
bikinis. We're on radio.
No one can see you.
Okay, now you're being a bitch.
Blue's Clues.
Valentina didn't tell you about
the role because all you did was
talk
about how you
nailed the audition.
I did nail that audition.
Yes, yes, yes.
Who gives a flying fuck?
It doesn't matter
if you won't take your shit off.
Are you getting
all this King Lear?
All right.
Oh, come the fuck
back Margaritaville.
Listen, you're a prude.
Prudes don't get parts
in this community.
I think that there's something
more to getting parts
than taking your
goddamn clothes off.
I'm Madeline Stone,
auditioning for the role of
truck stop Tami.
Okay, listen.
We good?
No, there isn't.
Allie, you're always trying
to be picture perfect,
and you're always trying
to nail that audition.
This script kind of sucks.
Okay, maybe.
No, it's not a maybe.
Okay, you know exactly
what you need to do.
And yet you can never find it in
you to check that little damn
box that says,
Yeah, you're going
to show your tits.
How the hell else
do you think we get these parts?
I can't remember the last time
I went to a cattle call.
You've got to play
the game, Cindy Lou.
We told you a million times, and
honestly, we're sick of you
berating us
at a moment's notice just
because we'll do what you won't.
I don't know what
you're holding out for.
Nothing's come of it.
What are you looking at,
Father Christmas?
You like these?
Phew.
Allie. You hot thing.
I'm surprised to see you here.
You know, this role has nudity.
Yep.
Okay, then.
Whenever you're ready.
That's bullshit.
There ain't no
Southside Slasher.
How do you explain
all these murders?
Girl, that's some crazy shit.
T-Birds, pulling.
Thank you.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Can you please disrobe for us?
Very, very nice, baby.
You're exactly what I am
about what we are looking for.
You got this part,
baby. Now, listen.
We don't start shooting for a
few weeks, but I want to spend a
lot of time
working with you.
Rehearsing. And
getting it right.
Once we get our money, I want to
shoot on weekends and evenings.
Cut! What the shit?
What the shit?
Just reset! Reset!
This is so real.
Are you feeling this? So real.
Is it?
Ladies, this was good. Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, but I need the bite.
I need it.
- Should I lick the flesh before
I bite? - Eww, gross. Why?
You know. Tenderness.
Yes, Yes.
That's it.
Embrace it. Go with it. Huh?
Allie. Allie.
When you get bitten.
It's not pain.
It's not pain.
It's a pleasure.
Yeah.
Yes. And another thing...
Another thing...
When the blood is
trickling down your neck.
And coming here.
Can you do me a favor?
You heave for me. I need it.
Heave? I thought I was frozen.
You are. You are.
Wow! He really knows
what he is doing.
But when she penetrates you
give me an arch.
That's making me heave.
Exactly.
Kill the frickin' lazer beams!
Hey, um, excuse me.
All right, so if we're going in
for the blood gag, I'm going to
need to take off her lav mic.
And that way I'll
just boom them in.
Fine. Whatever.
Do it quickly.
All right, cool.
I'm super sorry.
I just gotta...
That's okay. It's not anything
you haven't seen before.
So, does it sound any good?
Not really.
Not with Dracula's coke
baby humping you like that?
Can we get going, please?
Just hold your horses.
Great.
Don't forget to heave. Heave.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Hey, I.
I just wanted to say it was.
It was really great
working with you today.
Are you here tomorrow?
No, I'm not.
I was just filling
in for a friend.
Oh, that's too bad.
You're going to miss the great
big orgy sacrifice scene.
Oh, my God.
There's an orgy sacrifice scene.
So like. Is there
going to be a live animal
sacrifice or is it just
everyone's dignity?
I guess.
You know, in any event, I can't
make it because, you know,
I'm not really a sound guy.
Anyway, I'm Peter. Hi, Peter.
I'm Allie. What do you do?
I am.
I'm a writer. Or I write.
At least that's
what I tell myself.
That's funny, because I
tell myself I'm an actress.
Every time I'm on
one of these sets.
Yeah.
So what do you do when
you're not on these sets?
I bartend.
Okay, cool.
Cool.
So that was really more of like,
a lame attempt to ask you out.
Would you be interested?
Um. Okay.
All right. Peter, the writer.
I mean, as long as we don't have
to talk about shitty movies,
you don't have any stills of me
on your walls,
or you don't have the
perfect part written for me.
We can definitely
make that happen.
So, yeah, I'll.
I'll see you when I see you.
Let me know what's good.
Okay.
Okay Allie, remember,
he's chasing you.
He's trying to kill you.
Okay, You got it.
So you're scared.
Oh, baby.
You are frightened.
Very nice.
Frightened.
Very frightened.
Okay, here we go.
All right.
Okay.
Roll cam.
Roll sound.
And action!
Fuck.
Cut!
Jesus.
Okay. Allie.
Allie. Allie. Allie.
Not so fast.
Okay, let's try this again.
Okay.
Run fast, but not as fast.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Run slower.
But remember, you are
still scared for your life.
- Slower.
- Understand?
Yes.
He's trying to kill you.
Kill you!
Kill me.
You okay, man?
You good for another one.
Great.
Back to one.
Okay.
Roll cam.
Roll sound
and action!
Cut! Cut!
Aw, man!
Fuckin disaster.
Okay,
you know what?
Look, new idea.
Okay.
Oh, actually you know what?
Better idea.
Okay, Allie, here's the deal.
Okay, you run, but you
stumble as you start to run.
So he catches you.
Okay. That's exactly
what the audience wants.
Always give the
audience what they want.
- Okay, so you got it.
- I got it.
Is he okay?
Hey, man, you need a band-aid?
You okay?
Can you do a third one?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great!
Back to one.
Take three.
Okay.
Roll cam.
Roll sound.
Action!
And cut.
That's not bad, at least.
Allie, come here.
Allie, listen,
I need you to be more sexy.
Less strong.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Okay.
You're fighting off
a little too much.
I want to see some more of,
like, sexual tension.
Okay.
Like, you're scared,
but you're a bit turned on. Huh?
Like you don't like him, but
maybe you do, huh?
Like,
maybe you would do him if the
situation were just a bit
different.
What?
Okay, Like the audience
isn't really sure, but they
are definitely engaged now.
That's exactly what
people want, baby.
But you can't be too obvious.
But not to obtuse.
You see, this is cinema magic.
It's moments that make the film.
Okay, Go with me on this.
Okay.
Become the scene.
Be the scene.
Okay. You got it.
I got it.
Back to one
or not.
Shit.
Oh, call the paramedics.
Jesus.
Baby I gotta ask you something.
Yeah, what baby?
Do you think I'm a good actor?
Yeah, I think you're
a great actor.
- Really? - Yeah, you're really
fucking good.
How would you really know?
Since all my stupid movies are
just stuck in a can somewhere.
I mean, get finished.
Well, fortunately,
because I know the actress,
I get to see a lot
of the footage,
Hey, baby, at least you're
getting paid for them.
That's more than most
people can say. Yeah.
Paid. Right.
Hey, do you want me to start
picking up some side gigs?
No.
You sure?
Yeah.
You have to finish this movie so
we can get the hell out of here.
And it's almost done.
You're going to be so good.
You're going to be amazing.
I'm just really excited
that I'll take my clothes off
or like to play an
actual character.
A character with lines.
That's right, baby.
Good storyline that you wrote.
That's right.
Hey, if I ever start
pushing out tits and ass films,
just put me out of my misery.
Just end it.
I will punch you
right in the face.
Oh, please do.
Maybe in the dick too.
Sure. Why not?
- A couple times.
- Yeah.
Stack it up.
Oh, shit.
What are you doing here?
I thought you were
on Todd's movie.
Don't ask.
Well, you're wasting your time.
This part is mine.
They must have been really
desperate if they called you in
for a callback.
Bitch, please.
Katrina. Do you read this shit?
Yeah.
I swear to God,
if they make me play one more
helpless bobblehead, I'm going
to kill somebody.
How can you be helpless?
You're like seven feet tall.
The last pic I did, they made me
stand on my knees the whole
time.
You're kidding.
I still have bruises from it.
Why didn't you just give
the guy an apple box?
Okay. Yeah, that's what
I asked the director.
And this idiot says Apple box.
What is that?
Holy shit.
- Did you guys hear?
- What?
Tiny's dead.
What? Oh my god!
He friggin had a heart attack.
Everybody's freaking out.
Great.
One more movie
that will never get finished.
Maddie! Will you get
your hair out of my face.
- Are you jealous much?
- Of that rat's nest?
Okay. Okay. Okay. So
what did Todd say?
I don't know.
Last I saw him, he was still
asking his mom for money.
Fucking trust fund, baby.
Yeah.
Howdy!
Who's the cherry?
Couldn't tell you.
She looks like a slutty baby.
Maybe that's because
we're getting older.
- Yeah. Speak for yourself.
- Allie Sager.
That's me. Well, it ain't me.
Break a leg.
Yeah. Don't snap your bra strap.
Thanks. Come on, let's go.
I don't have all day.
Do you want this
audition or not?
So stupid.
I couldn't stop laughing.
Hey, at least you got
to say a few lines.
- Seriously.
- Let me guess the whole.
Let's do a little improv,
perform a little freeform and
see what happens.
Of course. Always
followed by the typical.
Don't you feel like these
clothes inhibit your freedom?
You're so right. I
hate wearing clothes.
I love being naked.
I wish we could be
naked all the time
anyway.
It wasn't too long ago
I used to be offered everything
that came down the pike.
Good, bad shit.
There wasn't an audition that I
wasn't asked to come read for.
And now you get the milf roles.
What the hell? I'm
not even that old.
These look like milf tits.
No, no. But really,
what does it even matter?
We already know the
pre-pubescent teenager with the
perky tits and ass
cheek shorts is the one that's
going to get the part anyway.
The cherry. How do you know? Oh,
because I just saw her walking
with the director.
Holy shit.
The fuck?
What are you going to do?
Get drunk and enroll
in dental school.
Let's do it. It
sounds like a plan.
Oh, damn it, Allie Why?
Oh, fuck Al.
You are a gigantic little baby.
I scared you with this
dumb mask like, 20 times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it's scary to me.
Oh, Peter.
Oh, God. Did I hurt
your little feelings, baby.
Oh, honey I'm so sorry.
Are you sad?
Are you sad, Peter?
Oh, I love you.
That's what you get
and get out of here,
you fucking distraction.
I got work to do.
I got this deadline.
Come on.
Come on. You know,
this is important.
Oh, yeah, but.
Can you unzip me please?
Yeah.
Thanks, babe.
Yeah, baby.
Take this fucking mask with you.
Thank you.
And kitchen counters, Not the
bedroom floor, but, you know,
whatever.
Same difference.
Will you go with me to that
stupid premiere tomorrow night?
Can't Baby deadline.
Come on, babe, Please, please,
please, please, please, please,
please.
Will you go with me. Please.
Just one time baby.
And who's the baby now?
I don't even know why you want
to go. I'm in the damn thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, what you
working on right now?
I mean, I've been thinking
about, like, when Rose and
they go into Binx's village in
the Andes, and they've just got
all that bombing.
So I'm thinking that Binx, he
come out with his automatic
weapon
and lite those bitches up.
Yeah. Oh, shit baby.
That's my monolouge.
That's my scence.
Yeah. That's my monolouge
I want to see it.
No, no, please.
Your referencing
all the general from... Baby.
Yeah, I know, I
know, I know. I know.
It's not done yet.
I'm still working on
it or tinkering it.
You're going to be great.
And I just.
I want you to read it until it's
perfect. I want to be a goddamn
bad ass.
You're gonna be a
goddamn bad ass.
A huge bad ass.
Okay, that's enough.
Fucking gross.
Excuse me.
Fuck. God damn.
Allie. Hi.
Oh, my God. Look at you, girl.
You look fabulous.
Sorry.
I have to wash my hands I got
chocolate all over my shoes and
my hands.
Hi Melissa
Ruth. Samantha.
Hey. How are you?
It's nice to see you.
Sorry I can't talk for long.
I have to go meet Todd
because he has my ticket
and I'm late as usual.
You girls look... Mmm.
Adorable.
Thank you. We just got
a hair done at Ralphs'
He's amazing, and he can totally
help me out with them grays.
Yeah. Yeah.
My cousin went to him,
and she went in looking like
Danny DeVito and came out as
Farrah Fawcett.
Nobody could believe it.
I bet no one could believe it.
All right, I got to go.
You girls have fun.
Nice seeing you.
Okay.
Bye bye.
What a bitch.
Oh, I've got to go find Todd
because I'm late and I don't
know where my seat is.
Total name dropper.
She's, like,
not even not pretty. Up close.
And she's like, not even
that good of an actor either.
She only gets roles
because she takes her top off.
You take your top off.
Burn.
Fuck off.
I'm good. Hi.
What took you so long?
I got chocolate all over me.
How the hell did you get
chocolate on you?
Some asshole left his
wrapper on the ground.
And then I fucking stepped in it
and I picked it off with my
hands,
and I went in the bathroom
and there was a bitches
sitting there,
and they just wanted to, like...
What bitches?
These bitches.
Hideous.
Y'all look hideous.
I mean, Wookiees had to die
to make that vest.
The same ones that
looked at your face.
Stupid ragidity bitch.
Turn your ass around
and shut the hell up.
You definitely don't
want to turn around
and look at me.
You put your hand up.
Yeah, cause I don't want
to see that face of yours.
God damn, I love you.
And I love you, too.
There's still hideous.
Get off your phone.
The movie is starting. Get off
your phone. You're so rude.
You're ugly and rude.
That is not a good thing to
be, girl. You can't be both.
You can't be both.
You cannot do both.
That poor fat fucker.
I'm going to miss
that son of a bitch.
I liked him.
Bitch, you touched me.
Ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow,
You're the south side slasher.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
- This movie sucks!
- Yeah.
What fucking nightmare.
Allie, baby.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm doing great.
So what did you
think of the film?
It was good. Yeah.
Yeah, I. I liked it.
I like the memorial.
Piece for Tiny.
I like the costumes.
Of course. Yeah.
I like the lighting.
Yeah.
Um.
Cinematography was amazing.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice work.
- It was great!
Yeah, it was great.
Listen, me and some my homies
and some of the ladies are
going to my place in my hot tub
for some cocktails tonight.
You coming? Because I'm invited?
I was gonna go to
after party with Nick.
Well yeah
this is the after
party, after party.
If you know what I'm hanging.
Well, I think Peter's
expecting me home.
I don't think I'm going
to be able to make it.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allie.
But thanks for the invite.
But seriously. Hey,
do you have $150 I can borrow
until we make royalties on this?
What the f...
What are you talking about?
Are you serious?
Look... I went over budget.
I owe the theater $150.
What?
I thought would make
it in ticket sales.
But the theater was only
filled with industry people.
Oh, God.
Look, Allie, I promise
I'll pay you back.
Jesus Christ Todd.
Are you on drugs?
No, Although I'm
rather embarrassed myself.
You should be embarrassed.
Allie, just do me a
solid, please. For me.
I have $100.
Allie thank you very much.
- You're very welcome.
- Alright.
Fuck. Now we're on drugs.
Or we're fucking.
Let's go.
I'm tired of hearing
all these people.
Blow sunshine up their asses.
I don't think I want to go
to the after party anymore.
Oh, bitch, you're going.
Let's go.
Oh, what fresh fuck is this?
Oh, my God.
There's only, like,
- three people here.
- And that bitch asleep.
Oh my God, Todd is
so drunk already.
Oh, and that jacket bitch.
That jacket.
Oh it is horrid. It's retched.
They saw us. Hi.
Tits up. Grin and bear it. Grin
and bear it. I don't want to.
Good luck!
Allie!
I see you!
Pardon me sir.
Allie.
Ladies and gentleman.
Miss Allie... (mumbles)
Yeah.
Oh Allie. Now she was
and unnamed hooker.
Number four.
Yeah. Four.
And for giving us
her bar.
For our party.
Oh Allie.
You are my...
What the fuck just happened?
Okay.
Oh, hey girl.
What an amateur.
Oh, hi!
We're so sorry we
missed your premiere.
- Beautiful dog. What breed is
it? - Yours.
(laughing) What did we miss?
Um, nothing!
Same old, same.
This party is a complete dud.
It's fallen to shit.
Literally. Oh, I have an idea.
Let's go somewhere.
Let's go somewhere
with half naked
men where the drinks are strong.
But my willpower is weak.
Where are we going, sisters?
The gay bar!
And then Chipotle.
(echo voices)
Oh, Hey there, my cute
little booze hound.
Did you wait up for me?
Yeah. Do you know
what time it is?
Um...
Morning time?
You're right, it
is morning time.
And guess what you got to
do in the morning time?
Get up.
Yeah, you gotta wake up.
And then what?
Eat some breakfast?
Yeah, you.
You're really going to need to
eat breakfast and then what
follows that?
(mumbles)
Oh I have an audition.
There you go.
Look at her put two and two
together.
You're killing it.
Are you ready for it?
Yeah, I got it.
You got it.
You know your lines?
All the lines.
Let's hear it then.
Really?
Yeah, I excited.
Let's hear them
right now. Really?
Yeah, Really.
Oh, okay. Okay.
All right. All right.
Shake it out. Get limber.
Really feel it.
Make sure you breathe
into your diaphragm.
You're gonna be fantastic.
You're gonna nail this.
Here I am, Doctor
Quinones, on the eve
of your greatest discovery.
That is not the lines.
Shhh.
And all I can think about
is how love me.
Touch me, hold me.
Take me, Doctor Quinones.
Take me for science.
All right, all right.
You don't have to tell me twice.
Fuck.
Off!
Are you sleeping?
Jesus.
Oh, honey.
I thought I looked like I got
beat with Valentina's dildo,
but you look rough.
Oh girl, you fuck off.
You're the one that's sitting in
those sugary sweet,
glow in the dark
bullshit shots down my
fuckin' throat last night.
You liked it.
And the glow in the dark stuff
is the best tasting part.
Mm, I feel like shit
dipped in misery.
I should have canceled.
Fuck, you should have canceled.
That's show biz, baby.
The show must go on.
Oh, you got to be kidding.
Who is this hooker?
That's twice in one week.
Wow!
Isn't her ass cold?
Seriously, It's like
45 degrees outside. Oh.
Oh, fucking gross.
Oh, my fucking God,
Jesus.
Hey bitch.
I can fucking see your puss...
Shhh. Bitch.
What is your fuckin' problem?
I wanna see how this play out.
Have you seen Mike over there?
He's like drooling all
over the sign in sheet.
He's about ready
to jizz his pants.
Boom goes the dynamite.
How do you always know.
Oh, I just know these things.
Oh Maddie.
It looks like you have some new
competition for the casting
couch.
Ow, that my boob bitch.
Your boob deserved it bitch.
You guys, seriously, I
should've stayed home.
I feel like shit.
You should have canceled.
Your face is so bloated.
God damnit. You're such a
fuckin' cunt when you're hung
over.
I'm not the one who walked in
here looking like a macy's
parade balloon.
Oh my god.
Oh, God.
Hi!
Oh, my gosh.
I'm auditioning to
be my mom today.
Do you know your mom?
My mom's dead.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, you're in thermals?
That's everyday wear.
You're from Seattle?
Yeah.
Boom! Oh they don't
like bombs there so um.
Latte.
Tell me you're not.
I fuckin' hate her.
I know, I know.
Just close your eyes.
My mom, you're my competition.
But I think you're going to get
it. If I don't get it, it's
okay.
You look really great.
You're so pretty.
Oh, Secret agent.
Oh, I got a secret for you.
You're going to get the role.
Hey, girl.
You're in sunglasses
inside, like vampires.
Oh, my gosh.
That's so vamp.
You guys look so sad though,
you should smile.
You know what, Kelly Marie?
You should go fuck yourself.
I did, but I lost my vibrator.
Now I just, like,
let my cat purr down there.
Oh, honey, who hurt you?
I found my cat, my
vagina this morning.
Kind of clawed its
way out. I'm bleeding.
(screaming)
Well, it looks like those Jell-O
shots have made an appearance.
(screaming)
(moaning)
I'm so tired.
(toilet flushing)
Allie. Allie. Thank god you're
finally home.
You're not going
to believe this.
Oh, no, not home.
Come on.
Seriously.
Get up! Get up! Get up!
Seriously Peter, I am not here.
It finally happened!
What?
I got... I got the call.
What call?
The call, like the green light.
Hey, welcome to the big leagues.
Like, hey, we want to
make a movie with you.
Like, hey, here's some money.
Like, they want
to give you money.
Yes, they want to give me money.
For the movie? Give us money.
I got to go to L.A. tomorrow
and meet the guys.
Tomorrow?
Yes, tomorrow.
Oh shit!
- Well, I gotta be there by
tomorrow rather. - You need some
money.
Yeah, baby.
I only think I have
like five dollars.
Baby? Where are my shoes?
Where's the shoes at?
Can you hand me the
cookies while you're there?
- Shoes.
- I'm a little hungry.
Okay. Oh, my God.
Why do you smell like vomit?
Valentina. It's a long story.
All right, whatever.
Two.
Oh baby, that's so exciting.
I'm so excited for us.
Yeah, me too.
Just leave the credit cards.
Five bucks isn't going to
hack it baby.
Five? Five?
Yeah, here's the credit card. Do
You know the pin number?
It's a credit card.
You don't use a pin number.
- You just swipe it.
- You need cash sometimes?
Alright it's fine.
That's plenty of money.
Fuck it come over
here, I love you.
You're going to kiss
me with the cookies?
I gotta go.
You're not taking the money.
I'll talk to you when I can.
I love you.
(vibrating cell phone)
What?
Hello, Miss Hager.
I'm just calling to remind you
of your call time tomorrow.
I got to thank you.
(vibrating cell phone)
Oh, my God.
What?
Allie.
Peter?
Hey. I just finished
up with our meeting.
Oh, How did it go?
It's a go! It's a go!
He wants to start immediately.
Oh, my God, Peter,
that's so exciting.
I know. I can't believe it.
I got to stay here an extra day
I got to do some paperwork and
working out casting and
everything.
You know, I have to make
some changes to the script.
Wow.
Okay, well, script
changes, though?
You ain't changing my monologue,
are you?
Hey babe, that monologue in
all yours is going to be great.
I really got to run right
now, though.
Okay.
Bye.
Alright, Chow baby!
Action.
Hey Billy.
Billy.
Billy?
Black Spielberg?
I'm trying to talk to you.
What? What?
Do you want a role
in this now or what?
Yeah. Yeah.
Raction, action, roll.
And you sure?
My costume doesn't even fit.
What do you mean?
I mean, I have a huge camel toe,
and my ass is hanging out of the
back.
Oh, my God.
Just hit your mark.
Say your line.
How fuckin' hard is that?
Speaking of lines,
why would I tell someone
I want to make love to them
if all they want to do
is blow up the world?
Okay, two reasons.
One,
You see, making a very
colorful movie here. All right?
Number two, I wrote it that way.
So please just say it,
if not say something else.
What would you
like to say, babe?
What would you want
in the scene? Tell me.
I've got a line for you.
Fuck this. Screw your movie.
I quit.
What do you mean, you quit?
You can't fucking quit my movie.
Come on. I got
your reel on beta.
Okay. She Apes, What
are you going to do?
She Apes two. She Apes three.
She ain't shit.
So come back,
do my movie please...
I've got a line for you...
You suck balls.
So you telling me
that's a hard no?
Cut!
Back to one!
This is a professional film
set, Allie, not a strip club.
You can't show up
whenever you want.
Yeah, I know, I know. I know.
What's going on?
Is your phone broken? I've been
trying to get a hold of you.
What the fuck are
you talking about?
You're two hours late. Where
is your costume?
I ain't going to
put on this costume.
Wait a minute.
You don't have your costume?
That was very expensive.
I'm not paying you $13
to not dance today.
Fuck Off. I'm not going to wear
this dumb ass bunny costume.
It's very fuckin' tasteful.
She looks really cute.
You look really cute. So...
Thank you.
Peter got the money?
What do you mean
Peter got the money?
I mean, he got the
money for the movie.
Oh, my fucking God.
Yeah.
Oh, my fucking God.
Yeah.
What money?
Allie got the money
for the movie.
Oh, you have money
to make a movie?
- I am a great director.
- No.
You know what?
In fact, I've got
a script for you.
You know what? Don't worry about
your script. It's terrible.
I've got a script for you.
Hey, are we fucking
working here or what?
We paid 250 for this shit.
Yeah, relax.
We'll get back to your
SoundCloud mom's basement band
bullshit in a minute.
What the fuck?
Oh...
Oh, here.
Here, I wrote this for you.
Just for you.
I really don't want it.
You're my favorite. I wrote this
just for you. Nobody else can do
it.
Just you.
No! I don't want it.
That's for you.
No!
Get out of here.
You're going to be in the movie.
And Maddie is going
to be the movie.
And I'm going to be in a movie.
No!
No!
And Maddie is going
to be in the movie.
We're all going to be the movie.
No, no, not you
I don't even know you!
What are you talking about?
I'm tired of being a bunny.
As you should be to be.
I can't believe you did that.
All right,
let's get through this audition.
Why do we even have an audition?
It's just formalities, babe.
Hi, Miss Lamarie.
I've never worked for a female
director before, and I'm so glad
you're on board.
Who are you?
Allie Sagar.
Alright, look...
I drew the short straw.
Okay. I hate straws. They're
killing all the sea turtles.
I don't want to be here.
I should be at the pancake
playoffs with the Food Network
this week, but I'm not.
So let's cut the chitchat.
Let's get going. Okay?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Why are you still standing here?
I don't know what to do.
Are you an actor?
Yeah.
That's a stage.
Get on stage!
Okay, fine.
Uh, Okay, fine.
You know Michelle Winters, yeah?
I do.
Okay, let's hear some lines.
What lines do you want to hear?
Michelle, would you start?
Everyone! Listen to me.
Listen.
It's this what we've become.
Have we not had enough fighting?
Has not enough blood spilled?
Tomorrow may be our last
sunrise, but I promise you
it will be if we keep
fighting amongst ourselves.
We are better than that.
We cannot concern ourselves
with petty differences
between us.
We have to form a new bond.
We are once again
going to fight for our freedom,
but not against tyranny.
We are fighting for
our right to live.
We will not wallow in the past.
Today.
We will face our future and
we will begin our upbringing.
Today we are the
phoenix and from these ashes.
A new world will grow
better than any world
we have ever seen.
End scene.
(clapping)
Oh my God.
That was it. That's it.
We got it. That was amaz...
(whispering)
Okay.
Allie, go ahead with the lines.
Nudity.
Oh yeah.
I'm supposed to tell you
that there might be some
nudity required, Okay?
I don't think it's a big deal.
Just...
Show me your boobs right now.
Go ahead and do that.
We'll just get that
out of the way.
(door slams)
All right, then.
We're done here.
Okay, So rehearsals start next
week with wardrobe and training.
Thank you. Let's go.
What did you do? I drove with
the windows open in my car this
morning.
New pages.
Thank you.
You look like a
dollar store Barbie.
I am a dollar store Barbie.
That's not a good thing.
I know. I'm cheap though.
We know that.
Um, is this where
I'm suppose to be?
I don't know.
Did you get the call sheet?
I have this, I guess.
Who are you supposed
to be playing?
Uh, Rose.
Rose?
That's what Petrie told me.
- Petrie?
- Mm hm.
You mean Peter.
When did you audition?
Yesterday.
Yesterday?
Yeah. I didn't really
think I had time to do this
thing, but the guys talked me
into it.
Are you an actor?
No, I am a fetish model.
I just do this shit for funs.
For funs?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm not really into memorizing
all these lines and stuff.
I can see where that
would get in the way.
Do you know anything about the
character or the storyline or
...?
Not really.
I just know that I'm supposed to
be a sole survivor for this war,
I guess.
Great.
So I was thinking about
this character, Rose,
and I came up with this.
Red toenails.
Oh, my God.
I know, right?
Red nails?
Yeah. Red nails.
Get this.
My mom works as a
dancer at a strip club,
and her boyfriend watches me.
I'm crushing on him.
When the bombs are going off
I'm, like, walking home from
school, and I'm freaking out.
When I get to the strip club,
there's pieces of dead
strippers everywhere.
The whole place
is blown to bits.
And I search and search,
but all I can find is his red
toenail polish.
So I put it on.
On toes, not your fingers?
I'm trying to keep her boyfriend
from leaving me too.
But she's dead.
Whatever.
But get this...
There's more.
Mmm, hmm.
When I get home, he's dead.
Can you believe that?
That's fucked up, right?
Yeah, that's fucked up.
I know. Huh?
So now all I have are
these red toenails.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what part did you get?
I'm playing church. The lead.
What? I thought that was
going to be some old guy.
Right on.
- Hi!
- Hey!
Peter! Can we talk for a second?
No, I'm kind of
in the middle of something.
That's okay.
So Rose, she isn't nine anymore?
Yeah, well, we thought that
it might be best if we...
Who is we?
You know, the Hollywood guys.
Alright, they decided that they
wanted her young, but not that
young.
Why didn't you tell me that?
And for God's sakes, why her?
She's a self-proclaimed
fetish model.
Well, you know, Tripp was
pretty keen on the idea.
Who's Tripp?
The E.P.
The money man.
Look, you need to keep your shit
together in this one, all right?
Because he's watching you.
He's watching all
of us via webcam.
And he's very hands on.
What the fuck Peter?
It completely changes
the storyline.
And this was our movie,
and now he's watching us.
Yeah, well, when you take
someone else's money that you
don't have,
they have a stake
in their return.
Well, you just said we again.
Look, if I don't do what he
says, he'll pull the funding.
All right? Don't worry about it.
You'll still get to be the hero.
You still get the monologue.
It's going to play really well.
All right. Just chill, Allie.
I feel like you're hiding things
from me, Peter.
You just kept keeping
things from me.
What did you do to your head?
Oh, yeah. You like it?
What is going on?
You're not even listening to me.
Peter, we need you on set.
All right, cool. Just Give me a
quick minute. I'll be right
there.
Look, it's just some
rewrites, just recasting,
and it's just a haircut.
All right?
Hold the fuck on.
I said a quick minute.
What?
I know it bother you this much
Just happens all the time, you
know?
You tell me before the
pages fucking hit my lap.
And you look like a
fucking douche bag.
Yeah well you look like a G.I.
Jane was a massive bitch.
What is taking so long?
We're making a film.
I know that. Can we get going?
You know, we have
to do this correctly
so we can win an award
that you can take credit for.
And I will. Thank you.
Let's go. Chop chop.
- Do you have your pilates class
today? - I sure do have a
pilates class...
You might want to
focus on cardio.
Okay dough boy,
look who's talking.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
Okay, sounds important.
Lights important.
Looks great.
White balance. Most important.
You are a racist.
I am a racist?
What about the black balance?
My wife is black.
- She's mixed!
- You introduced us!
Her mother is from Canada!
Take off eh?
No eh!
Let's go.
All right.
Okay. Calm.
Quiet on the set.
Light flares are
important, Dixie.
Are you serious right now?
Yeah! I'm serious.
Alright, get in your anger
management class again.
- I finished that already.
- Stop!
- No you didn't. - Yes I did.
- Step nine, amends.
No, I'm not taking
a text this time.
I worked really hard
on that text message.
Face to face amends.
That's what I want.
- I'm not doing it. I'm not
doing it. - Let's stop.
- Get her a latte. Pumpkin
Spice. - Can I get a goddamn
latte?
For God's sake.
Oh, professionals.
Do you have my latte? No?
Set is over there.
(intense music)
Hello?
Hello?
I am loaded and locked,
so please make a
noise or I will shoot.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
Hello.
Cut, cut, cut!
Astrid! Where's Astrid?
Hi. I'm sorry.
Was I supposed to be here?
Yeah, but you know what? It's
my fault. Really.
I'll do better at
telling you next time.
Okay? You're good. You're fine.
Okay. Cool. Thanks.
Frame.
Cam left. Frame.
And action.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
I am dangerous and armed.
You're here.
Please say something
or I will shoot you.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
What the fuck?
Cut!
Oblivion Lost. Scene 21.
Take seven.
Thank God you're here.
I haven't seen anyone in weeks.
I Have no water and
my mommy's dead.
Mommy?
Mommy.
She's a 20 year old woman.
I see you didn't
rewrite her lines.
All right, all right, all right.
Fuck me, I guess. What's your
deal, Allie?
What's the problem Allie?
I just don't understand
why the lines haven't changed.
Now that Rose is a 20 year
old goddamn grown ass woman.
Everything in this script is
changed except for important
story lines.
All right, You need to
calm down, all right?
You're embarassing me right now.
- Calm down? - What's the
problem, Allie? I am calmed
down.
I am fuckin' calm.
I just don't understand
what my motivation is.
I don't understand why I would
give a shit about a grown ass
woman that calls me mommy and
slaps me right in the ass.
All right Honey,
you're testing my patience
Peter has done a beautiful job
of putting this together for us.
Building the scene
and the characters.
You know what?
You know what?
Let's take five.
I can hear you.
Taking five.
Everyone that's five.
Not seven. Not ten.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look, you need to go
apologize to Dix right now.
What the fuck, Peter?
You need to apologize to me.
You need to keep your shit
together on this.
All right?
Because if this crap keeps up,
she's going to replace you, all
right?
And I get it. I get it.
She looks like she
manages a Dillards.
She walks and talks
like she manages a Dillards.
But just like a
manager of Dillard's,
there's going to be no returns
if she kicks you off set.
Alright?
There's been too much
bullshit already.
Just let it play.
You...
You are amazing.
And you were meant
for this role.
Alright, my writing
is not too bad.
Not always.
Alright, alright.
So just trust me, okay?
And at lunch, just apologize.
We can keep it simple.
Just as long as you apologize.
Fine.
I'm sorry.
Come on, get out there, slugger.
Jesus.
(buzzing sound)
Hey, Dix.
I just wanted to say that,
you know, I'm really sorry.
Shhh. Shush.
Listen...
No. This isn't working.
You had one chance, okay?
All right, now you listen.
You stand up straight, and
put your tits out
and you listen to me
from now on. Alright?
Now.
End Scene. Okay?
New pages once again.
Thanks.
Yeah.
With the fresh hell is this?
Uh, oh.
And that's how I got
these red toenails.
God, that is so interesting.
I bet you were full of
so many fascinating stories.
I really am.
Now, what are you
doing after we wrap today?
I don't even know,
but it's going to be
interesting for sure.
Oh, I believe it.
I know I am.
Do you need a partner in crime?
- Yeah, definitely. I could use
a partner in crime. - Cool.
Especially with
this fabric of love.
I got shotgun.
These gangsta chains.
It's fantastic.
Yeah.
I knew you would
love my red toenails.
All the men do.
Sup!
Sup?
What role are you playing today?
Did you just write yourself
into the script?
The studio thought I needed
to work on my image a little.
The studio?
They make you change the scene?
Oh, yeah.
Hi, Alley Cat.
Hi..
Well, the studio
thought we could sort of
soften your character a little
bit by giving her a loving side.
Do I need to remind you
that that role was written for a
nine year old girl, now how am I
supposed to bed her down?
Look, look, look, look.
All right? I know it's
not going to work.
We're going to let them shoot
it, realize it won't work,
and they'll cut
it out in editing.
You've got to play the
game sometimes, right?
I'm still in charge.
All right, Look at
the big picture.
Alley cat
you trust me?
You know I do.
What are they
doing to our movie?
Honey...
Nothing
there going straight
to the top with this.
It's going to be big.
It's going to be huge, Right?
See it now.
Bam! Coming to a
theater near you.
Bam!
Starring Allie Sagar.
Bam!
Stephen Colbert.
Bam. Jimmy Kimmel, bam.
Red carpet, bam, TMZ, bam.
Huge.
So, like, physicality
is important,
but we still want to capture
all of that emotion.
I think that's really what's
going to push this forward.
Yes, I agree.
Right. Make it captivating.
- You know, hold that thought.
- Allie.
Come here.
Come, come, come,
come here.
Listen,
I see this going
in one take, okay?
I need you to keep the energy up
like I need
the audience to feel like
they're right there with you. Do
you understand.
Like it needs to be raw.
You know, like your hands
kind of fall where they may.
And by that, what I'm to say is
I need you to let it fall on
your naughty parts.
That's what I want.
Okay?
I want to want to
have a cigarette
when the scene is over. Do you
understand what I'm saying.
- Yeah, but what about Astrid?
- She's Fine. She's a trooper.
Don't worry about her.
There she is.
Come here, my little bumblebee.
Hi, honey.
Look at your skin is fantastic.
What are you doing?
Um, it's moisturizer.
I love it. Keep doing it.
All right.
I'll see you later.
Sorry.
It's my birthday.
Okay...
I didn't get a kiss for my mom.
It's your birthday?
Yeah.
Aww.
What kind of kiss did
your mom give you?
She gave me a kiss
on the forehead.
Oh, I'll give you a
kiss on the forehead.
Thank you.
What do you want to
do for your birthday?
(moaning)
I want you to lick my lolly.
(moaning)
Can we lick my lolly together?
(moaning)
Mmm, yeah!
Mmm, yes, can I call you mommy?
Yeah, you can call me mommy.
Thank you.
Hey, Mommy.
Yeah, I'm your mommy.
Mommy, Spank me.
Oh!
I've been bad.
Okay. Are you sure?
Yeah.
I haven't been
spanked in forever.
(kissing and moaning)
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Let's do the twisted sister.
What's the twisted sister?
I don't know. Let's find out.
Okay.
Now touch my booty.
Yeah, grab it.
(balloon pop)
Oh, that is fucking disgusting.
Was it that bad?
14 takes.
Yeah, it was that bad.
I'll be right back, bitch.
Peter!
Hey baby!
Hi baby.
- How's it going?
- Where you going?
Oh I gotta run.
I got to meet up with Dix.
- We got to work out some rough
patches. - I've had a really...
Since when did you start
wearing cologne to write?
I mean, it's just a new thing.
I'm trying to keep up
with the high rollers, baby.
When are you going to be home?
I don't.
I don't know.
I'll be home when I'm home.
All right?
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
But this is really
important, all right.
I got to run.
Peter.
What?
I need you.
We'll talk later.
Okay?
Laters, babe.
Laters babe?
What's wrong with you today?
Just feel like everyone's
keeping things for me.
Everyone knows
something that I don't.
Well I certainly don't.
You'd tell me if you
did, though, right?
Allie, I'm your friend.
I'll never keep
anything from you.
Thanks, Nick.
Hey.
Hi, girls.
You look great. I love it.
Thanks bomb shelter chic.
They pulled it out of a
blender for me.
It looks like it.
Oh, my God. What did
they do to your hair?
They flattened it.
Don't cry for me, Valentina.
Looks like your director doesn't
appreciate full hair.
I guess not.
I'm sorry, but I think it looks
good. It looks really nice.
I fucking hate it.
You'll survive.
How are you?
It's been okay.
It's just not what
I was expecting.
I'm sure it's all good.
If we didn't say thanks
for making us part of this.
Of course.
Yeah. Thank you.
Feels kind of fun
to be acting again.
Really? We even have
lines this time.
Now get out there
and do your big speech, Rambo.
Go out there and make us
cry with your shit.
Thanks, girls.
I love you. Bye.
Quiet! Quiet!
Quiet!
Stop!
Listen, Listen to me.
Listen to me.
So this is what we have become.
Haven't we had enough fighting?
Hasn't enough blood
already been spilled?
Tomorrow may be
our last sunrise,
but I can assure you
it will be if we continue
to fight amongst ourselves.
We're better than that
we're mankind.
Mankind.
That word should have a
whole new meaning
for all of us today.
Our leaders failed us.
But that doesn't mean
they can take away our spirit,
our strength, our will.
We're facing annihilation.
This is not a fight
just for our freedom.
It is a fight for our lives.
I have seen too much death,
too many mothers weeping
at the graves of their children,
all asking why?
Why did we let this happen?
Well, tomorrow,
we stop wallowing in the past.
This is our resurrection.
Today we are the Phoenix
rising from the ashes
to build a better world
we have ever known before.
Cut!
Nailed it.
Honey, you don't have
to deal with shit like that.
Hey, ladies.
Just really
fantastic work today.
I mean, it is just stellar
watching you bring those words
to life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I know what you're
thinking, all right?
And I really.
I really wanted to tell you, but
the studio thought we were a bit
female heavy, and we're
so lucky to have Blade.
I mean, it's still your movie.
Alright Allie? It's
going to be huge. Huge.
Huge. Hey, don't blow this.
We're so close.
It's going to be huge.
Mail call.
I don't need them.
Oh, okay can I
just say something?
I think what you're doing out
there is amazing.
You're so real.
You're like, what,
my acting teacher calls
living in the moment.
Yeah.
- Moment this.
- Ooh, papers. - Yay!
I don't know how I'm going
to get through this day.
You got this, this is
ain't your first rodeo.
That's true. It's not.
But it's my first movie
by myself.
You're going to be fine.
Well, yeah, everything's
going to shit.
Calm down.
You saw those pages.
I know, but you got this.
I'll be fine.
Allie!
Allie!
Allie!
Great. You've
decided to join us.
That's good.
Listen, I need you to just
own it, alright.
Just really get in there.
This is your scene, okay?
And wherever you go, Blade
is going to go there with you.
Okay, look. Hey, look right
here. Right here.
Keep it together.
Listen, I know you're thinking
big, but, I need you to think
bigger,
Bigger.
Bigger!
Mow, mow, mow, mow.
Mow, mow, mow, mow.
Everybody ready?
Sorry.
And action.
Here I am, Dr. Quinones
on the eve of your
greatest discovery.
(grunts)
And all I can think about
is having you love me.
Hold me, touch me.
Take me, Dr. Quinones.
Take me for science.
Dr. Quinones? You've got
to be fucking kidding me.
Cut! What's the problem now!
Trust you. Really?
- You didn't get this scene
right. - You fuckin' cocksucker!
Is there something
that I missed here?
You wouldn't know if you
were missing something
if it crawled out of your ass!
Shut up.
Oh, now, baby, baby,
we can make this work.
It's all about the emotion.
This is what it is, Peter.
Oh, no, it's right here.
- Right there.
- It's right here.
It's the anger.
- Give it. Focus it here.
- Shut up!
You took something I said when
I was drunk and you used it.
That's it.
Bring that.
Bring that force.
- Give me that passion.
- Passion.
Fuck you and the
box you came in on.
I can't work this way.
No more amateurs.
No, no, don't leave.
We love you.
Please.
You are fired.
I'm fired?
Yeah!
That's a wrap!
Yes? What madam?
Oh!
Hi.
I'm here to see Tripp.
Yes, Come this way.
Okay.
- Uh, Tripp.
- Very busy.
I'm Allie. I'm
Peter's girlfriend.
I just wanted to talk to you
about the feature film
that you guys are working on.
Trippi Your lunch is ready.
What is it?
It's your favorite peanut
butter and jelly.
I even cut the crust
off just the way you like.
Mom!
I made 12 million in
Bitcoin alone this month.
And this is lunch,
peanut butter and jelly?
Fuck!
What kind of jelly?
Boysenberry.
I had on my toast this morning.
You know, I like grape
with peanut butter.
It's just jelly.
Then you eat it.
Trippi honey, you know
I'm allergic to peanuts.
Eat it.
And what are you
doing here, exactly?
Oh, well, first off, it's
great to meet you.
Speed it up. I'm very busy.
Oh, okay.
Well I know you've invested a
lot of money into this film, and
I feel the theme
and integrity of the film
are being compromised
with some of the
recent script changes.
Oh you feel.
Oh, that's it.
Okay, try this for feeling.
Number one.
I am the money man
behind this feature.
I could give a rat's
ass how you feel.
I feel. You don't.
Number two.
Peter already said that you
were on board with this.
On board?
With the boobs,
babe. With the tits.
What am I alone in this room?
With the changes?
Number three, I am all about
making films for money,
so I could give two
shits about your integrity.
Ma! Shut up!
(coughing)
Can't you see I'm talking Here.
Finish the whole sandwich.
Cash is king, baby.
R.O.I.
Number four.
Show me your tits,
for God's sake!
Are you fucking serious?
Show me your tits.
Oh, no, no.
- Five, show me your tits.
- Or what?
Number six, You're fired.
Fired!
Can't fire me. I've already
done three scenes.
I have a contract!
Do not underestimate
the power of post-production.
We can fix anything.
This is bullshit.
Bye! Drive safe.
You need to medicate
the little asshole.
Ma!
Fuck!
You're all being exploited.
Prude.
(Allie crying)
Fuck!
Oh God! Oh Shit.
Oh shit! Oh Shit.
Oh shit! Oh Shit.
Ow!
(distant moaning)
Mmm. Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Oh yes!
(man moaning)
Wait, I need my inhaler.
Really?
God! Shit! Allie!
Fucking kidding me!
Let's talk about this.
No, no, no, fuck you Peter!
You just picked the
fucking worst day ever.
It's really not as
bad as it looks.
And, you little twat, get
the fuck out of my bed!
Look, look, monogamy,
it's so last year.
I thought you said
she was into this.
Come on. It's really
not that big a deal.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm. I'm into this?
I didn't like explicitly say.
Hey, she's really
fucking into this.
Come on. It's really
not a big deal, Allie.
I just may have kinda
hinted around the issue.
- Oh come on.
- Fuck you!
- Look, I'm sorry.
- God damnit.
Peter! You small
dick mother fucker.
You know, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you fucking.
You can fucking have him.
I don't even want him.
- Come on Allie.
- Fuck off.
God fucking damnit.
Okay, will you
stop throwing shit?
Fuck.
Fuck you, Peter.
You shrimp dick, motherfucker?
People like shrimp.
I thought you said
she into this.
She's way better
kisser than you.
Do you realize how
much I've done for you?
You owe me.
You're right.
I do owe you.
Oh, fuck.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Do I know you?
Yeah.
Allie Sagar, the
actress you just fired.
Right.
You've certainly
been looking better.
Fuck you!
You're the reason why
I'm in this fucking predicament.
Me? What the hell did I do?
You know the movie?
Oblivion Lost.
You took something
that was beautiful and original
and just for me.
And you fucking ruined it.
Are you high right now?
No.
I did you a favor.
Favor?
What fucking favor?
Wait a second.
Your boyfriend changed this
script a week ago, before I was
even hired.
And as far as your
original movie goes,
this is a rip off of a 1923
silent film with a little bit of
Independence Day sprinkled in.
For razzle dazzle.
It's a dumpster fire
and you should be
thankful it's not
going anywhere.
Wait, you're not going
to finish the film?
No.
Tripp shut it down.
Fuck,
Peter.
Fucking lost everything for
this. And this little fucking
twat.
Dear God, I'm gonna murder her.
Who? Astrid?
No, don't blame her.
She never pretended to
be anything she wasn't.
And as far as Peter goes,
that's no great loss.
Okay, Here you were thinking
that you were making some
amazing
female empowerment statement.
Meanwhile,
you had no idea that you were
making just another piece of
shit for the boys.
Piece of shit for the boys.
Yeah.
Well, if it was such
a piece of shit.
Why are you doing it?
Grow up.
We all take shitty jobs
because we all got to eat.
Okay?
This is just a big boys club
that caters to little boys.
You think you're
going to change that?
Yeah.
You fucking watch me.
Okay.
So where did you get all
the money to do all this?
Well, I've got some
friends friends.
Well...
Here, little Trippi.
Nighty night, little boy.
I even... cut the crust off.
Oblivious.
Scene 22. Take 2.
Mark.
(song)