Someone Dies! (2024) Movie Script
1
Nobody is home.
It's been empty for some time.
I'm looking for
someone that used to live here, uh,
disappeared into thin air.
I think I might be of some assistance.
Tired of this shit.
It's always the goddamn
the same with you, Debra.
Oh, fuck you.
You're one to talk.
Fucking shithole.
The hell did you say to me?
No, not everything is about you.
Come on,
Jim. Is that what it takes?
Well, come to think of it,
your place is a fucking shithole.
It is not.
Oh, yes it is.
And you're hot fucking
garbage, you know that?
Really? You need to put that
girl on a goddamn diet. You're
gonna give her diabetes, all
that soda you're giving her.
Are you kidding me?
She's a child!
She's eight. [Debra] She gotta
be skinny for you to love her?
Don't gimme that fucking
feminist horseshit right now.
Bella's girls
eat whatever they want,
and they're fine.
Why the fuck would
I care what Bella does?
She's the reason why
her girls are like that
in the first place.
Like what?
Walking around
the neighborhood with all
that makeup on, looking
like little prostitutes.
How does that look on me as a father?
You dumb-ass.
You don't know what a father is.
Hey, I gotta go. I'm here.
You about do something
stupid, aren't you? Because
I'm getting ahead of this myself.
Oh, you're Mr. Fix-It now?
'Cause it's my real-life job, Deb.
Why don't you come
fix this broken home, then?
What am I supposed to tell our
baby girl? I don't care. Just, just make
sure she doesn't go anywhere, okay?
What? Am I supposed to ground
her? Why can't you just
do what I say for once in
your fucking life?
She ain't done nothing
wrong. Just don't
let her outta your site.
Oh, you think it's
always gotta be your way,
huh? Because I know
what's best for her right now.
She's playing down the street.
Just get her home, okay?
Well, this is your doing,
so you're gonna have to explain it to her.
I, I don't care. Bye.
Wait, hold on. Deb.
Hello.
Fucking bitch.
One thing at a time, Jim.
One thing at a time.
Uh, hello?
Yeah.
Uh, hi, ma'am.
This is, uh, Detective Jancy.
What?
Detective Jancy.
I can't understand you.
Uh,
well, we're talking
through a door, you know?
Would you mind opening the door?
I can't.
You can't?
Ma'am, are you okay?
Are you trapped?
No, I'm okay.
Oh.
Well, uh, ma'am,
I just need a couple minutes with you.
Okay.
This door doesn't
have a working chain,
so I'm gonna put this
chair against it for my safety
before I open it.
Okay. Yeah, I, I appreciate
your... [Jane] What?
I appreciate your
ti-Nevermind. It's fine.
Please don't push on the door
when I open it.
I don't know how strong this chair is.
Yeah. Okay.
Hi.
Detective Jancy.
We're investigating a
series of petty crimes
in the neighborhood.
I was just wondering if I
could get a moment with you.
Who's we?
What do you mean who's we?
You said, "We are investigating."
Me, I'm investigating.
Uh, we work in shifts, like most jobs.
Do you have a job, ma'am?
I don't, I don't see how that's relevant.
Okay. Well, would you mind letting me in?
This neighborhood, it's, you know, gross.
I can't invite you in.
Are you okay?
Are you safe in here?
Oh, yeah.
I'm, I'm safe.
Who, who's the owner or renter
or resident of this fine homestead?
I don't know if he I mean, oh, but...
He went to the bathroom.
Ma'am, are you okay in here?
Yeah.
He's been in there a while, but I'm, uh-
Okay, I'm gonna need you to stand back.
I now have probable cause
to enter this fine homestead
based on suspicion of your safety.
Watch out.
I come through!
Get back.
I, I can't.
Thank you.
I'm gonna ask you this one more time.
Is there anyone else in here with you?
He's, like I said, in the bathroom.
Who's in the bathroom?
The guy who lives here.
Glenn, I think.
You think?
What's he doing back there?
Probably using it.
Using what?
The bathroom?
What's your name?
Jane.
Jane, that's a good
name, a family name.
What would do you say me
and you have a little chitty chat
while Mr. Gary finishes
his business back here?
It's Glenn, or is it Gary?
Need a pick me up?
Suit yourself.
I don't mean to brag, but, uh,
I make a fine cup of jittery Joe.
What's your, uh, relation
with Mr. Glenn there?
None.
We are not, we're not related.
Well, how do
you two know each other?
Can you turn that shit off?
I like it.
It's just fucking noise:
"Whomp, whomp, whomp."
It's fucking stressing me out.
Maybe you don't need a cup of coffee.
What's that?
It's calming.
We'll, turn it off.
I don't...
Okay.
Hey, I said to fucking turn it off.
Goddamn it. What the fuck was I saying?
I, I responded to a Craigslist ad.
I don't know him.
So y'all weird fucking or?
Like are we fucking weird?
You know, that Craigslist shit.
I really don't.
Hey, I'm not judging.
Believe me, I get it.
I came cross a homicide
a couple years back.
The neighbors reported
a smell for a couple days.
I went to check in on the owner.
Nastiest damn shit I ever saw.
This man had a tube jammed
all the way down his throat,
fucking vomit potato salad everywhere.
I thought we were gonna
have ourselves a real
sick fucker on our hands
till we found his laptop.
I guess he still was,
but in a kind of different sort of way.
Why are you telling me this?
It's important.
You ever heard of foie gras.
It's a delicacy and apparently a fetish.
Found an email dialogue with someone
under the alias of Tummy Boy
offering upwards of 70,000
for a quarter of this man's liver
and the webcam footage,
promising assurances
of a safe and, I quote,
"Sanitary surgical procedure."
Real nasty shit.
Goddamn, that's some good go-go juice.
Have you ever considered
that that story is off-putting to people?
No.
It, it wasn't a weird sex thing.
I was buying something.
That sounds rather interesting.
What is it that you were buying?
A sword.
What the fuck was that?
Who's there?
Glenn.
Wipe off your glasses.
They're fucking disgusting.
Don't you fucking do...
Goddamn it.
You alive in there?
Gary?
Who?
Listen, asshole!
Don't make any sudden moves!
Did you just
shoot a fucking gun at me
in my house?
-It's, it's an apartment.
-It's the same fucking thing.
Sir, I'm gonna need you to calm down.
Who the fuck are you?
You got any weapons in there?
No.
Well, except for the tan to.
The what?
Tanto!
Like a, like a fucking Indian?
It's a sword, a little one.
What?
It's for seppuku.
Like with the fucking numbers?
No, like, seppuku,
like a ritual, Japanese-
It's a goddamn
suicide sword - That.
Oh, okay.
So that thing you were gonna purchase?
Yeah.
All right. Uh...
Uh, put the suicide sword
on the damn ground!
I, I can't.
And why is that?
Well, it's mounted on the wall.
All right.
And I can't reach it.
Well, let's go ahead
and keep it that way, huh?
Okay.
You know, you really
should take more care
on how you speak about Native Americans.
What you going on about?
Yeah. You gotta
respect cultural identities, man.
Stand up!
All right. All right, man.
All right.
Okay. Okay, dude.
Okay. All right, man.
Hey, you, you mind lowering that thing?
You gonna do something stupid?
Stupid like, I don't know,
maybe my piss pants
that I'm not wearing again?
Alright then What you running from?
I wasn't running from you.
Bullshit.
You took off as soon
as that door flew open.
Yeah, 'cause I ain't got
any goddamn pants on.
And I didn't want,
I didn't want her to
see me in this condition.
It's very inappropriate.
Hey, did you see me?
Yeah.
Well, shit.
I used to be faster, lightning quick.
See, what happened was
I was taking a leak, right,
and I didn't flop the old,
old beef wagon out far enough,
just barely stuck out.
Wound up peeing on my pants.
Now, I didn't pee in my pants.
I peed from the outside onto my pants,
not the inside out.
And, well, as you can see,
I'm pretty embarrassed.
Put on your fucking pants.
Is that a tobacco cigarette?
Yeah.
Well, I'd appreciate it
if you were not to smoke
in my home.
I got COPD.
Do you?
Do I what?
Have COPD.
Do you?
Hope you got fast hands, friend?
That was my last cigarette.
Well, that was a hell of
a morning we had here.
Uh, I didn't get your name, Detective.
It's, uh, it's Jenson, Detective Jenson.
That's not what you told me earlier.
Excuse me?
You told me your name was Jancy.
I think you're mistaken, ma'am.
You got a card, Detective?
I'm fresh out, but hang on.
What?
Turn around for me.
Come here, I ain't gonna hurt you.
Jesus Christ.
Some pocket trash.
You're gonna write on trash?
-It's not trash.
-Did you call me trash?
There's walls, you could have used them.
That's if you need any
further assistance at all.
I'm always on call.
Yep, that's what
you wrote, right there.
Hey, you said you were, uh,
looking into petty crimes in this area?
That's right.
That dude down in 6B,
he thinks he's a wizard,
and he's been making my
patio furniture disappear.
What do you want me to do with that?
Well, I mean, he stole my chairs, right?
And I went and I bought more chairs
and he stole them too.
Just go get 'em back.
No.
No, he, he does stuff with it.
Weird stuff?
Very much so. Yeah.
This has been real fun.
Uh, no one gives a flying fuck
about your folding chairs, Gary.
That guy sucks.
Seriously sucks.
Whoa, look at that.
Damn, where'd you get that phone at?
Well, it's just the one
that came with my contract.
Yeah?
That must be some contract, huh? Right?
I mean, what do you do exactly, like,
for work and stuff?
I...
You know, we don't really know each other.
You know what? That's fair.
Whatever. I get it.
Any reception here?
Your fancy phone-ass ain't working, huh?
That's weird.
Mine, mine works.
Is that cool?
Hit with the, with the.
Huh? It's great.
Three, five, I cannot-
Here it is.
Alright, get on, get on speaker phone.
Does yours have a speaker?
Hey, looks like you
found yourself a hidden Jim.
If you're calling, it ain't by accident.
You know what this is.
Leave your number and a
few details about yourself
and we'll let you know if we're into it.
Uh, what?
That was just weird.
Hmm.
Oddly sexual.
Right?
So, like, you wanna just
hang out or something?
I just, I just figured...
Yeah, okay.
That's cool.
What?
Hey, is she home?
I've told you already.
What do you mean?
She's downplay
with the twins at Bella's.
What did I... Come to think of it,
Bella took the girls to run some errands.
You think or you know?
Did you call Bella?
Where'd she take them.
Well, maybe if
she had a cellular phone,
like I suggested-
She don't need a goddamn cellphone.
You should just always know
where our eight-year-old
fucking daughter is.
I do.
-You had one fucking thing to do today.
-You don't know shit.
-They probably got her.
What do you mean they got her?
-Who?
-I, I don't fucking know.
The Russians, these internet fuck freaks.
What? You
better get the law on it.
Forget it. Jesus Christ, you're
a terrible fucking mother.
Oh, fuck you!
If she's wearing that hooker makeup,
I swear to God I'm
coming over Tuesday night
and I'm setting your
fucking trash cans on fire.
Tuesday's not even trash day.
Wedne-it's Wednesday?
You moron.
I ain't telling you shit.
Fine.
Then I'll just wait
for whenever your fucking trash day is.
-Baby, I'd like to see you try.
All I got is orange soda.
Diet.
Gotta keep my glucose level smooth.
The heck is this?
Son of bitch!
Oh, God!
No, no, no!
Whoa.
Wha-what the hell was he doing?
- Holy shit. Is he-
- He just escape charging in here
like some goddamn rhinoceros?
Did you kill him?
Not on purpose!
Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe it's not as bad as it looks.
-You think?
Well, it looks pretty fucking bad.
He definitely looks dead.
So... [Glenn] Fuck!
So maybe you just,
maybe the coffee can just
knocked him out or, you know,
maybe... Oh God, no.
Hey!
Oh, God!
No, no, no!
Whoa.
Wha-what the hell was he doing?
Holy shit. Is he-
He just came charging in here
like some goddamn rhinoceros.
Did you kill him?
Not on purpose!
Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe it's not as bad as it looks.
You think?
Well, it looks pretty fucking bad.
He definitely looks dead.
So... Fuck!
So maybe you just,
maybe the coffee can just
knocked him out or, you know,
maybe the, maybe the floor did?
Or maybe he just has low blood sugar
and passed out or...
Okay. He's breathing.
Where did this chair come from?
Oh, I used it earlier.
Hey, can we get this gun outta here?
Can you hide it or something?
I, I don't even want to know where it is.
I can't breathe.
Help. I'm dying.
You ain't dying.
Somebody help!
Help!
You should try breathing
through your mouth.
What do want with me?
What?
What do you want with me?
I can't understand what you are saying.
You, you do know what
the gag's for though, right?
Thank you.
Well, I ain't taking his gag out.
I don't trust him.
But I think you're
gonna need to take it out
so we can communicate with him.
If I take that gag out,
he's gonna start yelling for help,
which you don't need because
we're not doing nothing to you.
Yeah, but he's been yelling for help.
I don't, I don't know if your socks work
as well as you thinks they do.
Okay.
Hey, if I take that gag
out, you're gonna scream?
Yeah, probably.
See?
Gag says.
Oh, wait. Hold on.
All right.
I know you don't wanna take the gag out
'cause of the screaming, but, like,
he's screaming anyway.
And eventually you're gonna have to decide
if you're gonna feed this guy
or you're gonna let him starve to death
with your dirty socks in his mouth.
Well, I hadn't really
considered, like, meals.
Just take the gag out.
You gonna scream again?
To be honest with you, man.
I'm surprised you even woke up.
He got hit in the head
real hard, like, two times.
Yeah, twice.
So y'all planning killing me too?
I mean, I wouldn't
call any of this planned.
Where is he?
Where is who?
Don't bullshit me.
Couldn't have been 30
seconds before I came in here,
you guys were talking
about getting rid of him.
The only person that's been here today
besides us is you.
Don't like to me.
This motherfucker, I heard it.
You guys were trying to decide
what to do with him and I busted in.
I was cleaning up the mess that you made
when you kicked in my doors again.
That's two doors.
Well, he only kicked in
the one door two times.
The other door, he
shot at, so it's a little bit-
That don't matter.
I got two doors that I gotta clean up now
and he's over here giving me
all this immediate doorman horseshit.
Imminent domain.
Yeah, that's probably it.
But you, you're right,
it doesn't matter 'cause he
doesn't understand cop words
'cause he's not a real cop.
Now, hey, wait a minute.
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah?
I felt certain that he was
gonna tell me to shut up, but-
Why would I do that?
I'm very excited to hear
what you might have to say.
-Okay.
-Please continue, fuckhead.
All right, well, uh,
I maybe am not a real cop per se,
but I didn't necessarily lie to you.
You exactly lied to me.
No, no, no.
I, I am a detective,
uh, just a private one.
Who walks around
with a fake police badge.
Nope, that badge is
quite real, uh, but it's,
it's not mine.
That is not better.
And you broke into my home.
I, I didn't, technically.
Twice, two times.
I know that for a fact
'cause of the doors.
Well, your girl here let me in.
I am not his girl.
Whoa, buddy.
She's got a name.
And I didn't let you in.
-You opened the door for me.
-And you tried to kill me in my own home.
If I was trying to kill you,
I'd have killed you.
I was just clipping your feathers.
Well you just can't assert yourself
into people's domiciles
and then go about trimming birds.
Okay.
I am sorry for coming into your home
and shooting a gun at you.
I suppose I should not have done that.
But to be fair, when I came in here,
you two tried to murder me
and now I'm apparently
your fuckin' hostage.
Now, I'd say that makes us mostly even.
Even?
Even?
What about my fucking doors?
And that ain't blood.
It's not real blood anyhow.
What are you wanting that sword for?
Like, sword stuff.
Is that the one you're gonna use to
kill yourself?
Is that what you would want me to do?
No, no.
But shit, I ain't your daddy.
Would be a shame, though.
Can we get this over with?
You got me in your gross murder room.
You're either gonna kill me
or let me die of boredom.
I ain't a killer.
I got it on tape.
I got the whole goddamn thing!
Prove it.
I will, as soon as you
call your precious police.
Wait. How do you have anything on tape?
I just did.
Did you bug my goddamn house?
Maybe.
You son of a bitch.
I'ma find that-
Don't matter much now.
-Where the hell is it?
I got everything I need.
Oh, hell no.
-You dumb bastard.
-Sumbitch,
you gonna violate someone,
listening to their private,
intimate thoughts and shit.
It's gotta be here.
-Hey. All right. Well, let's just calm down.
We're gonna find it.
But this, this is... No,
it's not...
-Okay.
-Did he bug me?
Calm down.
- I did not shed blood... Glenn
- For this country... Hey. Cool it.
-Hey. Okay.
-You put it in my succulent,
you son of a bitch?
He didn't hide it in your
succ-Hey, let's go about it logically.
Hey, Glenn.
Deep breaths, okay?
This is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna retrace our steps
and figure out when he
had an opportunity to hide it.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Surveil me in my own goddamn home.
I'm an American man.
Did he put a thing in there?
I bet he did.
Check, check.
No, that's just a marker.
Hey, thank you
for, you know, having my back out there,
trying to keep me leveled out.
Oh, that's all right.
We can't let him get
away with whatever this is.
You know, the sooner
we find this damn thing
and get it over to the police,
the quicker we can get rid of him.
Holy Christ. Do you smell that?
Smell what?
Whoa damn.
That is stank.
Like a swamp of Indian food diarrhea.
Oh. Oh, God!
Oh. Oh.
Jesus.
Oh, that feels like a dead body
made out of tires.
I told you!
Ew, what is that?
Is that a wife beater?
-Don't call it that.
-You gonna fry, boy!
-Shut the fuck up!
-Fucking shut up!
-Fuck you. You shut up.
-I'm gonna fucking choke slam that man.
Don't let him get under your skin.
That's what he's trying to do.
Oh.
Hey, Jane, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Why were you gonna buy the sword?
Well...
Shit!
Well, there goes another chair.
Well, you might as well fuck it too.
Is that what you think
he's doing with them?
Hang on. Hold on.
There you go.
Okay.
-What's he trying to Do?
I almost got it.
I can be very elusive.
-I swear.
-He's trying to force
the ropes to break.
-Yeah.
-Shit. Okay.
-Hold on.
-He's so stupid.
Shit. Okay.
He's like a drunk armadillo.
What is going on?
I'm pretty sure I have it.
Should we help him or something?
It's like a turtle.
There it is.
That was like the hardest way to do that.
Yeah.
That was more impressive in my head.
Okay.
You've had a knife this whole time.
This is Texas, darlin'
Okay.
You and you, over there, trading places.
No need to... I wanna be by the door.
So you're gonna stab us both to death
with a pocket knife?
I'm tired of this shit.
I'm starting to think whatever
the hell is going on here
got nothing to do with me.
-Yeah, don't really know
why you came here... It never did.
-In the first place. - Who took her?
Who?
Emma.
Never heard of her.
Bullshit. Who's that?
That them?
Who you working for?
I ain't got no job.
What the fuck is going on in here?
Why don't you tell us,
Jim Jenkins from 8302 Springwood.
Oh, hell yeah, girl.
Born June 6th, 1969.
5'6.5".
Brown hair, green eyes, organ donor.
No, it's disappointing.
-Yeah.
-It's not surprising.
Congratulations.
You're good at stealing
things from unconscious people.
I think it's time we
call the real police.
Great.
Damn, they're fast.
Kenneth!
Oh, shit.
That's my landlord.
Hello? Kenneth?
Kenneth?
Yeah, it's a long story.
It's not that long.
It's probably just the way I talk.
I let myself in.
I have key. It's okay.
Goddamn it!
Seriously?
He's got boundary problems.
Go get rid of him.
-Go.
-Okay.
Hang on.
Stinky fucking Russians.
Kenneth?
I come check everything
is tip-top for you.
Everything okay?
Hey, Ivan.
What's going on?
Kenneth, my guy.
There you are.
Everything all right?
I ask you same. Uh, why are you sweating?
Uh, yeah. Hey, remember
we had that talk about privacy?
I really wish you wouldn't
just walk on in here like that.
You want privacy, then you go buy lock.
I have one
Relax.
I own building.
Everything is okay.
Oh.
Listen, Kenneth, there is
cowboy running around.
He's making trouble.
He thinks he's real Clinton Westward,
but really he's all hat and no cattle.
Gotcha. Yeah.
I see him snooping
around your front door earlier,
so I just come check
out everything is A-okay.
Cool, cool.
He's a real pee hole.
I knew I smelled fucking cabbage.
Kenneth, it look like
you forget to take trash
to dumpster.
Watch your goddamn mouth, Comrade.
Oh, Kenneth, is that what I think?
Uh, maybe.
This is choice kit, my guy
-Right?
-Oh, thanks.
I just mess around sometimes.
Yes, of course. Very, very chill.
Uh, you, you drop beat?
I'm gonna hit the toilet.
Which one?
I don't know.
The inside one, you goddamn hillbilly.
No, I mean, you drippin' or you dropping?
Drippin' - Kenneth!
You drop fucking beat or no?
Oh, yeah.
My guy.
I bust flow, bareback, no jimmy.
I've got butterfly
knife skills for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
I've got butterfly
knife skill for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
I've got butterfly
knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Their payment coming up
Rent always due
I landlord them like I'm Putin
Put their bills through the roof
And evacuate when the water poops pipe
When the time is right
To cancel them Rothschild
credit cards like all night
Move, but not too slow
Don't slow your roll like Crisco
Hack the data file, the database
And switch to crypto
De-centralize and realize my payment
Just like net gain
Close the browser, close the VPN
And exit NetScape
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Move fits the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Move fits the bill
Fuck this guy.
Well, well, well.
Who's running the rodeo now?
Debra?
Jim.
You got some good
fucking news for me, I hope
I found her, and she's fine,
just like I said.
Yeah, no thanks to you.
You wanna
know where she is or not?
Well, what is it?
Got her back in the living room.
She's just playing.
Oh, thank God. Is she okay?
Yeah, I told you she's fine.
What do you think kids do, Jim?
Where is she?
Who took my baby?
Like I said, Bella
took 'em to run errands
and they stopped for ice cream.
Like, at a parlor?
Yeah, parlor.
That's where you get ice cream, isn't it?
-Can I just talk to her?
Yeah, she don't wanna
talk to anyone. She's playing.
Did you tell her it was her daddy?
Yeah, I told her it's her daddy.
She don't wanna talk to you.
Well, you upset her, Jim.
She don't wanna talk.
Yeah. Okay.
Just gotta give her a
little space. No, I get it. It's fine.
She just needs a minute.
All right. I'll try her back later.
Look, don't do
something stupid. Okay?
-Yeah. Okay.
-She needs you.
Bye. Hey, wait, Deb.
I ain't had a cigarette in two days.
Deb, hello.
Yeah, disposal's got a hiccup.
What? And it do all this?
Well, tangentially, kinda.
And what, uh, what
seems to be the problem?
What happened to your voice?
What do you mean?
Keeps shorting out?
It doesn't happen always,
but it ain't never neither.
Yeah, classic plumbing tool.
Knife is only tool you ever need.
Amen, brother.
Always carry knife with you.
You never know when you
have to kill someone you love
just so you do not die alone.
My daddy said that all the time.
Yeah.
Oh, you drop beat two-time?
I need zone.
Sure.
My guy.
This is my shit.
Kenneth, hit switch.
Holy shit!
Ivan, are you o-
Oh, fucking... Oh, no.
What the fuck?
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
What the fuck happened?
I don't know. I don't know.
I, I, I just flipped the switch and,
and now he's like this.
- I don't, but where could he-
- Look, I dunno.
How could that even happen?
Where... Where did he fucking go?
Where the fuck is the rest of him?
I fucking knew it!
No, Glenn didn't do anything.
Something... Hang on. I, I didn't.
I, I didn't... Don't you fucking move.
I didn't do anything, man.
There's toilet paper all over your gun.
Shut that mayo hole up!
I told you not to fucking move!
-He was putting his hands up!
Did I tell him to do that?
Why wouldn't he do that?
I had to stop him.
I, I knew it before.
What in the actual
fuck is wrong with you?
He's dead on the ground
and he was just standing over him.
-Well, Glenn didn't kill him!
And you didn't even ask.
You just walked in here
and fucking shot him.
I, I didn't mean to, I'm s-
My daughter, she, she
wasn't missing at all.
Wonderful fucking time!
So the fuck what?
Your daughter's safe at home
and so you celebrate by
coming into a stranger's house
and fucking shooting him?
Her mom don't want nothing to do with me.
Oh, can you blame them?
I don't know what the
fuck I'm doing here, man.
That's not fucking good enough!
Self-centered piece of shit!
Fuck.
You don't get to walk away from this!
Fuck!
How are you doing, bud?
I'm not great. I got shot.
Yeah, you did.
It looks like it's just
in the arm, though.
Oh.
You're lucky. It's gonna be all right.
Where'd that motherfucker go?
No, no, no, no, no.
Just relax.
You don't need to make
this any worse than it is.
Okay?
Here.
Put some pressure on it.
Oh, okay, okay.
Deep breaths through your mouth.
Okay?
Ow, it burns.
What the fuck is happening?
Calm down. I'm still here.
That was so far outta line.
If I could explain anything
that just happened,
you'd already be in handcuffs.
If I could explain any of this,
I would have stayed in bed today.
Maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea.
I'm trying to stop
something and then, and
then it wasn't, and...
Nothing's making sense.
Fuck.
Wish something would just
fucking work like I want it to.
Fuck!
You are such a goddamn piece of work.
Spare me.
No, I don't think I will!
I think it needs to be emphasized to you
what a gargantuan, astronomical,
black gaping hole of an
asshole you actually are.
Yeah.
Why, though?
You know you could just not, right?
Like, you know how you woke up this
morning and decided to be an asshole?
Maybe tomorrow, don't.
Like, buy a Peloton, fucking eat a salad,
do something else.
Ugh.
Why are you like this?
I don't know.
Just my whole life, like,
things are just slightly outta reach
and I just can't ever
get 'em right, you know?
And it's just another fucking one thing
in the long line of bullshit.
You know, you don't get to make
your shitty life everybody else's problem.
Either notice that the
people around you also exist
or just fuck off.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you've already
broken into somebody's house
and held two people at knife point.
Pocket knife point.
Okay.
I am sorry.
Tell that to Glenn.
You could have killed him.
Okay. Yeah.
Here.
Thanks.
Maybe don't use that badge anymore.
What is this?
Just read it.
I don't understand.
Emma is my daughter.
I got this in the mail two days ago.
Oh.
The funny thing is
that is my handwriting,
but I didn't write that.
How?
I don't know.
I thought for sure you
two had something to do
with her being kidnapped.
But apparently she's
just home, perfectly fine,
hating me as usual.
She doesn't hate you.
Hey, hey, man.
It's all right. It's okay.
We all do crazy,
regretful things in the heat of battle.
Oh, look.
Found these here leftover Vicodins
from a impacted tooth.
Tight.
Hmm? Hmm?
Coffee?
Yeah, I think you need some, buddy.
Coffee's good.
Hadn't had it warm since Debra left.
So,
you wrote this?
Mm-hmm.
Then sent It?
Seems like it - Apparently.
But you got no idea?
Nope.
But...
Like,
how?
Hmm.
I think it's time you
go get that recording.
Fucking bitch!
They found me.
Everyone, get down.
Not like that, Glenn.
On the ground!
They know.
-Who knows?
-I don't know, somebody.
Well, what do they know?
I don't know. Some shit.
They shot at me.
Who the hell would shoot at you
without getting to know you first?
I don't know, Glenn, but
my windshield exploded.
All right.
Hey look, you go lock the door,
you go draw them
curtains, and I guess, uh,
I'll clean up Ivan's legs.
Gross.
Hmm. Yeah?
Bear Grylls taught me this.
Who the fuck is Bear Grylls?
Survivalist.
What an idiot.
He's not an idiot. You're an idiot.
Fine.
Fuck!
What?
I only got the lighter plug.
The other one is back in my car.
Hang on.
Shit.
Where are you?
-Sh.
-There you are.
Glenn, shut the fuck up.
We're under duress.
-Shh.
-Got it.
What's he doing? What's he doing?
Tape deck.
See?
Okay,
Now listen.
Oh God. No, no, no.
Whoa.
Wha-what the hell was he doing?
- Holy shit. Is he-
- He just came charging in here
like some goddamn rhinoceros.
Did you kill him?
Not on purpose.
Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe it's not as bad as it looks.
You think?
Well, it looks pretty fucking bad.
He definitely looks dead.
So... Fuck!
So maybe just,
maybe the coffee can just knocked him out.
Or, you know, maybe...
How do you explain this?
Maybe the floor did.
Maybe he just... Well, I can't.
-Has low blood sugar.
-Give it a try. - And passed out.
That's you.
Okay.
-He's breathing.
-Me? How?
Yeah, when you busted in the door
and Glenn hit you in the
head with the coffee can.
That's you.
No. Bullshit.
Oh, my God.
The shirt
from the cabinet, I think it was Ivan's.
What the fuck is going on with that sink?
Hurry up.
I don't wanna do it.
It's your apartment.
I'm just a guest here.
Oh, you're a guest?
This is how guests act?
Yeah, well, maybe it'd go a lot faster
if I had two working arms.
Gimme this goddamn thing.
Huh.
Well, all right.
Nothing.
Hmm.
Maybe there's a switch or something.
Hey, hey, hey.
Watch out there, Kamikaze.
Watch the lights.
We're in enemy territory.
What were we
doing last time this happened?
No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
There's your bug.
Huh.
Goddamn, there's the bug.
Maybe you're right about that switch.
Perhaps.
Ready?
Ready.
Well, shit.
What now?
Well, this is a
pretty suspicious wire here,
Huh?
Guess I never noticed that before.
You never noticed this giant black wire
on your white walls?
Yeah, that's some bad
electrical work right there.
Been here since I've been here.
That would not pass code in the US of A,
maybe in Kiev.
Well, don't pull on it.
That might be a load-bearing wire.
That is ridiculous.
I don't know.
Maybe it goes to that doorbell
neither one of you
know how to fucking use.
That should not be like that, should it?
I don't know.
Do I look like I built fucking Chernobyl?
It looks like it runs
into this outlet back here.
The music!
Huh?
This, this gets plugged into that outlet.
And I was playing with the
music when Ivan disappeared.
Man, why they called it
an outlet instead of an inlet
'cause you're sticking things into it?
I don't mean to contradict
your kindergarten teacher, Glenn,
but there is such thing
as a stupid question.
No.
Somebody go hit that switch.
I got it.
Let me get the broom.
Ready!
Hold on.
Wait, hold on.
Shit.
Holy shit!
It fucking worked.
Yes!
Fucking shit!
What exactly did it do?
I I, I don't know.
Uh, well, that just cut
it in half again, actually,
-I guess.
-Yeah. Okay.
There's too many variables in this.
We gotta clear this area and
do some more experiments.
Glenn, we gotta move this body.
Fine.
I'll help you.
Oh, this is so gross.
I looked right at it.
Hey, man, while you're
sitting there doing nothing,
why don't you go to that closet
and get the hand sweeper.
All right, Gomer.
-All right, we're gonna have to...
-Yeah, I think so.
-All right.
-Okay.
Oh, oh, oh.
This is so nasty.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God. Sorry, Ivan.
You all right, buddy.
Hey, this?
Yep, that's it.
That's the one.
Yep.
I don't want, uh, anyone
who hasn't shot me
to fall on all this ground coffee.
Wait. Let me see this.
This is goddam... That one too.
It's a goddamn teleportation device.
-Yeah.
-What?
Yeah. Your hand broom matches the stick.
No, no, no.
I've had that hand damn sweeper for years.
Come to think of it, I
didn't buy that damn thing.
It was just here when I moved in.
Where did you find it?
Yeah, it was, uh... If
I remember correctly,
it was
back under the cabinet,
over there behind the,
the pipes.
Wait, that means... It
traveled back in time.
No fucking way.
No.
Yeah, that must have been
like three or four years ago.
All right. Well, we just need to
pinpoint exactly when this showed up.
I'd probably guess it was somewhere
between that third and
then the fourth year.
That is not what pinpoint means.
We do not know how
long it's been back there.
Yeah, exactly.
I have no clue.
This is amazing.
I can't think with this racket.
Should have known he'd throw a tantrum.
How the shit do you turn this thing off?
Stupid fucking thing.
Huh.
All right.
So here is everything we know.
We have a time machine.
Do we?
Well, yeah. What would you call it?
I don't know.
Are we even certain
what the fuck it's doing.
You got another explanation
for everything that's been happening?
Could be the Vietnamese.
Charlie outside shooting at me earlier,
that's what it was.
They're looking for this magic box.
Maybe it's witchcraft.
That son of a bitch!
Or maybe it's a military-grade teleporter
A teleporter moves things
from point A to point B.
Yeah, but time machine does
the same thing, though, right?
Except point A and point B
are the same place
but at a different time.
Okay.
So we have something
that sends, or teleports,
whatever is inside it to a
different place and time.
Bingo.
Okay. What else?
Write that down, bingo.
All right, bingo. Yeah.
It does have a force field
on the outside of it, like,
when you go in.
Yeah, that's right.
Like, nothing can get
inside of it when it's on,
just like a...
Shit, it's a Faraday cage.
What the fuck is a Farrengay cage?
Well, imagine a hamster cage,
except it's made entirely outta metal,
and nothing can get in it when it's on.
And when it's turned
on, the force field, right,
that force field you were talking about,
that little hamster, all furry and cute,
he's just running inside that cage.
And, like, he's going to die eventually,
but on the outside you
don't know if it's alive or dead.
So you kind of have to assume
that he is alive and dead.
Simple physics.
There's so much wrong with...
Okay, most hamster
cages are made of metal,
number one - Solid metal, though.
Like a, like a sphere.
That's not really what that is.
It's just a theory.
I thought it sounded pretty good, Glenn.
Okay.
We also know that this thing is not stable
or consistent because it
sent the broom back years
but it only sent Ivan back like an hour.
Lord rest his soul.
Now, does this prove
or disprove paradoxes?
Honestly, I don't even know.
It's like you can't use something
that hasn't happened as
proof of anything, right?
Exactly.
Like, is the past even real?
Right, like... Wait, what?
Like, how can we be sure
our memories are memories
and not just an imagined nightmare?
Okay, that's not really what I was...
I mean, I guess we can't.
No.
'Cause we wouldn't all be
imagining the same thing.
Maybe we're not.
What you mean?
Maybe we're all just a
part of my imagination.
You sound like a stoned
middle school student.
Wait, does this mean I'm not me?
Fucking doubt it - Guys!
There are a lot of
implications afoot here.
I have an idea.
Think it'll work?
Can't hurt to try. It's just a note.
All right.
I'll get the music.
Hang on.
Hell's this?
Insurance?
On a pot?
Are you ready?
Ready.
Are you sure about this?
Nope.
As soon as I shut the door, hit switch.
Did it work?
I don't know.
I didn't hear nothing.
Did what?
Good lord.
Whoa.
I just ask. What we doing?
No fucking way. He's back.
My guy!
Handle is fixed.
Ivan, I have never been so happy
to see you in my life.
Whoa. Cool jets, Iceman.
Everything is fine.
I call electric man.
He come Monday. He fix it up.
Just maybe don't use
sink until then, okay?
Oh, and keep eye on pee hole.
Kenneth Rogers, my guy.
Does he think you're Kenny Rogers?
You got to hold when you know of them
Know how you show them
I only walk this way after
That motherfucker is harder to kill
than a goddamn cockroach.
You hear those gunshots?
No.
Exactly.
It's the Russians.
They don't kill their own.
They kind of do.
I fucking knew it.
It worked!
Huh.
Look at it.
You see that?
It worked.
What happened in your eye?
Huh?
Oh, this.
Oh, it's nothing.
It was a couple years back.
I guess I... Oh, shit!
Someone's here. Someone's here.
Yes!
Oh.
Oh, my sweet baby.
Oh, you pretty bitch.
Oh.
Damn.
Look at you, baby.
Oh. Oh.
Hiya! Hiya!
Yeah, look at that.
Damn.
Full tang.
It ain't funny.
I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Yeah. I mean, it don't hurt anymore.
I mean, there ain't nothing in there,
but I can feel it moving around sometimes.
That is upsetting.
But it looks like your arm's better.
Yeah. I guess we fixed
that fucking problem.
Yeah, I mean, well, my eye is missing.
Maybe you should stop playing with swords
like a grown fucking cyclops.
Oh, you wanna talk to
me about weapon safety?
-Really?
-No, he's right.
We fixed one problem,
we could fix another.
Ah, it's a slippery slope.
We can stop.
Honestly, we probably should.
Hell no.
I want my fuckin' eye back.
Besides, we don't know how long
the window's gonna
stay open on this thing.
Right.
Window.
Right.
What's wrong?
Jim?
What's going on, man?
I know why I'm here.
What do you mean?
I have to go back?
Back?
To the car?
No.
Yes, but no.
No. No, you can't.
You saw what happened to Ivan.
Ivan wasn't even all the way in there.
The door wasn't even closed.
I- i-it could work.
You're fucking crazy.
It has to work.
The, the, the letter.
It's the only thing that makes any sense.
This letter, it's been right.
I, I've just been thinking about it wrong.
I gotta go back and save my family.
We don't even know
how stable this thing is.
It's become very clear to me that I'm
the only one who knows how to fix this.
I've gotta get to myself
as far back as I can go.
He's got to know.
He's got to know everything.
Me, I, I, I, I,
I gotta know everything is at, at stake.
A a-a- and, of course,
k- keep it outta pinko hands.
I think we need to send
that audio transmitter
back in time to monitor the situation,
make sure it's, uh, it's, it's safe.
Yeah. Yeah, that sounds cool.
I'm in.
Yeah.
Wait, let me do it.
How many body parts
do you wanna lose today?
I can't let you do that.
You wouldn't even
make it to the sidewalk.
Them fells shooting out there at you,
they don't know what I look like.
I bet I make it all the way to the car
before they realize what's going on.
You sure that's something you can handle?
No!
Nobody's going outside.
I don't have a choice, Jane.
Yes, you do.
I'm sorry,
but I'm doing this with
or without your help.
You are such a goddamn donkey!
I'll go.
Hey, no.
I would die if something happened to you.
You'd die?
Like, really?
Maybe.
I don't know.
-Pussy.
-Besides, I'm the quickest one here.
You sure you can handle that, Glenn,
with the COPD?
Son.
Put on a suit, bitch.
You going to church?
I'm gonna show you how
the world spins, player.
Is that so?
That's right, dawg. You don't even know.
I got quickness and thickness.
Oh.
I went to state.
Uh-huh.
State fair or... [Glenn] That's right.
You got a corn dog?
Yep, broke the Gravitron.
Ow!
Glenn, you lost an eye.
You got a whole half of your body
you can't protect from
a whole half of the world
you can't see.
Look at you.
Can't even defend
yourself from a fucking pen.
You're a goddamn liability.
And I'm not about to risk
my family on a fucking cripple
trying to be a goddamn hero!
You blind fuck!
That wasn't entirely necessary.
Ain't a lot of us are.
I was doing this to help you, man.
And right now I'm asking myself
why I would even bother with that.
Why are you like this?
How many times you
gotta learn this, Glenn?
This ain't about you
and your fucking feelings.
There's only one thing I
care about in this world.
Again with the gun?
You're just a means to an end, darlin'.
So you haven't learned
anything, like, at all.
You're still just gonna
try strong arm your way
into controlling everybody!
I don't handle stress well.
Well, feeling bad about it
doesn't make any difference.
You're still the same
asshole you've always been.
But I'm gonna go out there, okay?
I'm gonna risk my life
to give you your little
shitty daddy do-over.
You know, you could go right now
and start being a good father to her now?
You could show her that showing up
and being there and
owning your bullshit matters.
My daughter matters to me!
I just got, I gotta go back
and make her love me.
Fuck you, man!
She should probably make less noise.
It is like eating your
own asshole, isn't it?
Right? Specifically you.
Like, forever.
Mm.
Well, you ever heard of a ouroboros?
No, man.
That's the snake eating its own tail.
Okay. I am familiar with that.
Okay.
Well, picture that, except
the tail is an asshole
and then the head is also another asshole,
and they're just eating each other,
just keeps on collapsing
upon its asshole an nature,
backward and forward through time.
Always in an asshole,
just never getting shit out right.
Right?
-Mm-hmm.
-All right, well, to summarize,
the asshole eats one asshole
and just creates a big
old seamless asshole.
You know what I mean?
It's just forever loop, infinite asshole.
That's you.
Time travel.
Yeah.
So, so I'm an asshole.
That is what... Definitely.
-Hmm.
-Yeah.
Okay, I, I get it.
Are you okay?
What happened?
Found your shooter.
-Hmm.
-Yeah,
you left your vape on
the dashboard of your car.
It exploded.
They can do that?
Yeah, apparently.
Well, it sounded like a goddamn gunshot.
No one was shooting at us, were they?
My windshield exploded!
I'm sure it did.
The whole goddamn thing.
And that's what you
thought was a gunshot?
You stupid bitch.
Shut the fuck up, Gary.
Did you get the cord?
What now?
I wanna go back in time and fix this.
Weren't it in the future last time?
Yeah, I think the radio frequency
'caused some kind of counter reaction.
Yeah.
And if the music's the catalyst,
maybe that affects how
far you go in either direction.
I wonder how far back it goes.
Let's just fucking do it!
We're running out of time.
I think we have all the time.
You're not fucking Doc Brown.
You know that, right?
Let's go!
Ready?
Ready!
Did it work?
Let's go find out
Anything?
Hang on. Can't tell yet.
Oh. Yeah, something's coming through here.
Come on.
-What is it?
-Shh.
I assure you,
I walked this unit
myself just this morning.
Huh?
Who is that?
What a weirdly-That's my landlord.
Specific message to leave.
That ain't the fucking Russian.
Well, I mean, man, that
Ivan, he's strange, man.
That Russian accident
kind of comes and goes.
I could use some protection.
I'll think about that.
I I'm going to crack a window now.
Whew.
Man, I used to work roadside,
scooping coons been
cooking in the sun all day.
I mean, it ain't exactly the same,
but there is something
not right right here.
Huh.
What's this?
Oh, that appears
to be the warranty papers
from the disposal that I installed-
This don't make any sense.
Very sorry about this. This is-
Man, something ain't right.
This is deeply unacceptable.
-When did you move in?
-Don't worry about it, man.
Whoa.
There's a
unit just a few doors down
that I would love for you to take a peek.
Oh, hell no.
Now, you knock a couple
hundred bucks off her-
No!
I'll still take it.
No, this, this never happened.
This is ridiculous.
It don't make any goddamn sense.
So what did happen?
I, I never even had
that conversation with him.
I sure as hell didn't get
no discount on my rent.
This place was spotless.
Goddamn.
So something changed. Why?
The only thing we seem to know for sure
is that the timeline is
connected to his time
in this apartment.
But this weren't even the same timeline.
Yeah, we don't know that for sure.
We don't even know why any of this works.
But we do know that it works.
So that's two things that we know,
and that's good enough for me.
- Yeah, but... That's the opposite of what-
- What if that is isn't, like, our world?
What if this goddamn thing
takes us to another dimension?
Jesus!
Emma we'll be there.
That's all that matters.
What if you get there and
Emma doesn't even exist?
I'll find her.
What do you think I'm trying to do here?
I think you're trying to make
everybody do whatever you want
on whatever whim you have, like always.
This probably isn't even
the first time we've done this.
All the more reason.
We gotta keep it going.
We gotta keep those snakes
eating each other's asshole.
You know what I'm talking about?
Fuck!
He's talking about that ouroboros.
There we go.
The loop. We can't stop the loop.
Fuck the loop.
This is the way it's gotta be.
You just don't get it.
I get that I'm gonna get in that sink.
I think you need to shut your
eyeballs and open your ear holes.
I'm about to travel
back in time. I've been
laying it down for you...
I'm gonna be the first
fucking guy. For like
an hour. I've been telling
you over and over again what a dumb bitch
you are. [Jim] This is a good
feeling. This is a great feeling.
I don't think you need
to feel good about this.
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's' go!
-I've been very clear-Put me in the sink!
I don't think you're gonna fit.
You got an envelope?
That's good.
Here you go, man.
Thanks, Glenn.
Uh, sorry about the gun stuff.
-What are you gonna do, man?
-Now, listen.
There's a chance that I don't make it.
But, uh, if that is the case,
I'm hoping that you'll mail it for me.
You sure we're not doing,
uh, "Terminator" rules?
I don't know what that means.
I still think you should get
all the way naked first,
just in case.
I will not... Here, take that.
All right.
You want me to hold it?
Might as well.
We gonna do this thing?
Might as well.
Jane, take care of yourself now, huh?
Mm-hmm. All right, then.
Good luck, brother.
Don't let the doorknob hit you
where the good Lord split you.
You think he made it?
No.
No, he died.
I assure you,
I walked this unit
myself just this morning.
Huh.
What a weirdly specific message to leave.
Just try not to breathe
through your nose.
You know what, though?
That's not a bad piece
of advice right there.
I could use some protection.
I'll think about that.
I'm going to crack a window now.
Whew.
Man, I used to work roadside,
scooping coons been cooking
in the sun all day.
I mean, it ain't exactly the same,
but there is something
not right right here.
Huh.
What's this?
Oh, that appears to
be the warranty papers
from the disposal that
I installed last year.
Again, I'm very sorry about this.
This is just,
this is deeply unacceptable.
Don't worry about it, man.
Oh.
There's a
unit just a few doors down
that I would love for you to take a peek.
Oh, hell no. No.
You knock a couple hundred bucks off her,
I'll still take it.
I don't think I would
be entirely comfortable.
Oof.
I'm fine.
I'll t-
I mean, you just let
it air out a few days,
it'll be great.
Oh.
I'll need a few days to think about it.
I will consult with Mother.
Come, let's get some fresh air.
I'll come back in the
morning and clean this up
and I'll talk to Mother.
I guess I would have remembered.
Hey, Glenn.
Yeah.
My name's not Jane.
Yeah, I know.
You did?
Yeah.
Uh, the real Jane texted
me a couple hours back,
said she couldn't make it.
So I just, I don't know,
we were having fun.
You should probably
not live here anymore.
Yeah, nobody should.
This place needs a fire.
Emma deserved better.
She deserved her dad.
No, she deserved a better dad.
That too.
That guy just...
What a fucking dickhead.
Nobody's home.
It's been empty for some time.
I'm looking for
someone that used to live here.
What do you want with them?
My father went missing from here
when I was a kid.
This is the last place anyone saw him.
He kinda disappeared into thin air.
I think I may be of some assistance.
Are you sure
we're allowed to be in here?
Certainly.
A fantastic specimen, isn't it?
Pine. Virgin wood.
Completely unsauced.
I don't really like
where you're going... Focus.
Feel the grain with your fingers,
the smoothness in the ridges.
Ever so supple.
Perfectly crafted to
accumulate an adequate saucing.
Right.
So we definitely wanna make sure
the saucing is adequate.
'Tis merely lubrication,
naturally occurring at that,
absolutely necessary for a pleasant slide.
Mm-hmm.
Now, focus on a single point.
And at the count of three, you can get up.
Okay.
One,
two,
three.
Oh, gross.
What the fuck!
Hello?
Oh, I didn't even hear you knock.
Jane, right?
For the sword?
Yep. Yep.
Come on in.
Big belts, bolo ties
Don't mess with Texas
It's the apple of my eye
Hometown
H-Town
My girl look like Selena
Don't think you gon' take her out
Don't do it, boy
I see you flexin' but I'm Texan
I ain't with the disrespectin'
Don't do it, boy
I ain't down with the NRA
Don't hide behind a pistol, boy
Put that away
Lucas on the music
Don't need no band
Every bad bitch like
a sharp dressed man
Don't do it, boy
Don't need no lawyer, ain't no trial
I'ma leave you in the bayou
Don't do it, boy
Trail riders
Giddy-up
We jammin' zydeco
Got that Shiner in our cup
Juneteenth
Need my freedom, no limits
Lone Star livin', I
don't like the politicians
Don't do it, boy
I see you flexin', but I'm Texan
I ain't with the disrespectin'
Don't do it, boy
Big trucks
Toyotathon
I like Solange
Greg Abbott, not so much
South by Southwest
I need a bigger check
Don't like steak and shrimp
But it's still RIP to Pimp
Don't do it, boy
Don't need no lawyer, ain't no trial
I'ma leave you in the bayou
Don't do it, boy
Don't need no lawyer
Ain't gonna sue you
I'ma leave you in the sewer
Don't do it, boy
I see you flexin', but I'm Texan
I ain't with the disrespectin'
Don't do it, boy
I bust flow, bareback, no Jimmy.
Got the butterfly
knife skills for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
I've got butterfly
knife skills for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Their payment's coming up
Rent always due
I landlord 'em like I'm Putin
Put the bills through the roof
And evacuate when
the water poops pipes
When the time is right
Cancel them Rothschild
credit cards like all night
Move, but not too slow
Don't slow your roll like Crisco
Hack them data file, data base
And switch to crypto
De-centralize and realize my payment
Just like net gains
Close the browser, close my VPN
And exit NetScape
Drop the balaclava
Walk the streets
speaking Czech and Slavic
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Zoom in on my chest hair.
Nobody is home.
It's been empty for some time.
I'm looking for
someone that used to live here, uh,
disappeared into thin air.
I think I might be of some assistance.
Tired of this shit.
It's always the goddamn
the same with you, Debra.
Oh, fuck you.
You're one to talk.
Fucking shithole.
The hell did you say to me?
No, not everything is about you.
Come on,
Jim. Is that what it takes?
Well, come to think of it,
your place is a fucking shithole.
It is not.
Oh, yes it is.
And you're hot fucking
garbage, you know that?
Really? You need to put that
girl on a goddamn diet. You're
gonna give her diabetes, all
that soda you're giving her.
Are you kidding me?
She's a child!
She's eight. [Debra] She gotta
be skinny for you to love her?
Don't gimme that fucking
feminist horseshit right now.
Bella's girls
eat whatever they want,
and they're fine.
Why the fuck would
I care what Bella does?
She's the reason why
her girls are like that
in the first place.
Like what?
Walking around
the neighborhood with all
that makeup on, looking
like little prostitutes.
How does that look on me as a father?
You dumb-ass.
You don't know what a father is.
Hey, I gotta go. I'm here.
You about do something
stupid, aren't you? Because
I'm getting ahead of this myself.
Oh, you're Mr. Fix-It now?
'Cause it's my real-life job, Deb.
Why don't you come
fix this broken home, then?
What am I supposed to tell our
baby girl? I don't care. Just, just make
sure she doesn't go anywhere, okay?
What? Am I supposed to ground
her? Why can't you just
do what I say for once in
your fucking life?
She ain't done nothing
wrong. Just don't
let her outta your site.
Oh, you think it's
always gotta be your way,
huh? Because I know
what's best for her right now.
She's playing down the street.
Just get her home, okay?
Well, this is your doing,
so you're gonna have to explain it to her.
I, I don't care. Bye.
Wait, hold on. Deb.
Hello.
Fucking bitch.
One thing at a time, Jim.
One thing at a time.
Uh, hello?
Yeah.
Uh, hi, ma'am.
This is, uh, Detective Jancy.
What?
Detective Jancy.
I can't understand you.
Uh,
well, we're talking
through a door, you know?
Would you mind opening the door?
I can't.
You can't?
Ma'am, are you okay?
Are you trapped?
No, I'm okay.
Oh.
Well, uh, ma'am,
I just need a couple minutes with you.
Okay.
This door doesn't
have a working chain,
so I'm gonna put this
chair against it for my safety
before I open it.
Okay. Yeah, I, I appreciate
your... [Jane] What?
I appreciate your
ti-Nevermind. It's fine.
Please don't push on the door
when I open it.
I don't know how strong this chair is.
Yeah. Okay.
Hi.
Detective Jancy.
We're investigating a
series of petty crimes
in the neighborhood.
I was just wondering if I
could get a moment with you.
Who's we?
What do you mean who's we?
You said, "We are investigating."
Me, I'm investigating.
Uh, we work in shifts, like most jobs.
Do you have a job, ma'am?
I don't, I don't see how that's relevant.
Okay. Well, would you mind letting me in?
This neighborhood, it's, you know, gross.
I can't invite you in.
Are you okay?
Are you safe in here?
Oh, yeah.
I'm, I'm safe.
Who, who's the owner or renter
or resident of this fine homestead?
I don't know if he I mean, oh, but...
He went to the bathroom.
Ma'am, are you okay in here?
Yeah.
He's been in there a while, but I'm, uh-
Okay, I'm gonna need you to stand back.
I now have probable cause
to enter this fine homestead
based on suspicion of your safety.
Watch out.
I come through!
Get back.
I, I can't.
Thank you.
I'm gonna ask you this one more time.
Is there anyone else in here with you?
He's, like I said, in the bathroom.
Who's in the bathroom?
The guy who lives here.
Glenn, I think.
You think?
What's he doing back there?
Probably using it.
Using what?
The bathroom?
What's your name?
Jane.
Jane, that's a good
name, a family name.
What would do you say me
and you have a little chitty chat
while Mr. Gary finishes
his business back here?
It's Glenn, or is it Gary?
Need a pick me up?
Suit yourself.
I don't mean to brag, but, uh,
I make a fine cup of jittery Joe.
What's your, uh, relation
with Mr. Glenn there?
None.
We are not, we're not related.
Well, how do
you two know each other?
Can you turn that shit off?
I like it.
It's just fucking noise:
"Whomp, whomp, whomp."
It's fucking stressing me out.
Maybe you don't need a cup of coffee.
What's that?
It's calming.
We'll, turn it off.
I don't...
Okay.
Hey, I said to fucking turn it off.
Goddamn it. What the fuck was I saying?
I, I responded to a Craigslist ad.
I don't know him.
So y'all weird fucking or?
Like are we fucking weird?
You know, that Craigslist shit.
I really don't.
Hey, I'm not judging.
Believe me, I get it.
I came cross a homicide
a couple years back.
The neighbors reported
a smell for a couple days.
I went to check in on the owner.
Nastiest damn shit I ever saw.
This man had a tube jammed
all the way down his throat,
fucking vomit potato salad everywhere.
I thought we were gonna
have ourselves a real
sick fucker on our hands
till we found his laptop.
I guess he still was,
but in a kind of different sort of way.
Why are you telling me this?
It's important.
You ever heard of foie gras.
It's a delicacy and apparently a fetish.
Found an email dialogue with someone
under the alias of Tummy Boy
offering upwards of 70,000
for a quarter of this man's liver
and the webcam footage,
promising assurances
of a safe and, I quote,
"Sanitary surgical procedure."
Real nasty shit.
Goddamn, that's some good go-go juice.
Have you ever considered
that that story is off-putting to people?
No.
It, it wasn't a weird sex thing.
I was buying something.
That sounds rather interesting.
What is it that you were buying?
A sword.
What the fuck was that?
Who's there?
Glenn.
Wipe off your glasses.
They're fucking disgusting.
Don't you fucking do...
Goddamn it.
You alive in there?
Gary?
Who?
Listen, asshole!
Don't make any sudden moves!
Did you just
shoot a fucking gun at me
in my house?
-It's, it's an apartment.
-It's the same fucking thing.
Sir, I'm gonna need you to calm down.
Who the fuck are you?
You got any weapons in there?
No.
Well, except for the tan to.
The what?
Tanto!
Like a, like a fucking Indian?
It's a sword, a little one.
What?
It's for seppuku.
Like with the fucking numbers?
No, like, seppuku,
like a ritual, Japanese-
It's a goddamn
suicide sword - That.
Oh, okay.
So that thing you were gonna purchase?
Yeah.
All right. Uh...
Uh, put the suicide sword
on the damn ground!
I, I can't.
And why is that?
Well, it's mounted on the wall.
All right.
And I can't reach it.
Well, let's go ahead
and keep it that way, huh?
Okay.
You know, you really
should take more care
on how you speak about Native Americans.
What you going on about?
Yeah. You gotta
respect cultural identities, man.
Stand up!
All right. All right, man.
All right.
Okay. Okay, dude.
Okay. All right, man.
Hey, you, you mind lowering that thing?
You gonna do something stupid?
Stupid like, I don't know,
maybe my piss pants
that I'm not wearing again?
Alright then What you running from?
I wasn't running from you.
Bullshit.
You took off as soon
as that door flew open.
Yeah, 'cause I ain't got
any goddamn pants on.
And I didn't want,
I didn't want her to
see me in this condition.
It's very inappropriate.
Hey, did you see me?
Yeah.
Well, shit.
I used to be faster, lightning quick.
See, what happened was
I was taking a leak, right,
and I didn't flop the old,
old beef wagon out far enough,
just barely stuck out.
Wound up peeing on my pants.
Now, I didn't pee in my pants.
I peed from the outside onto my pants,
not the inside out.
And, well, as you can see,
I'm pretty embarrassed.
Put on your fucking pants.
Is that a tobacco cigarette?
Yeah.
Well, I'd appreciate it
if you were not to smoke
in my home.
I got COPD.
Do you?
Do I what?
Have COPD.
Do you?
Hope you got fast hands, friend?
That was my last cigarette.
Well, that was a hell of
a morning we had here.
Uh, I didn't get your name, Detective.
It's, uh, it's Jenson, Detective Jenson.
That's not what you told me earlier.
Excuse me?
You told me your name was Jancy.
I think you're mistaken, ma'am.
You got a card, Detective?
I'm fresh out, but hang on.
What?
Turn around for me.
Come here, I ain't gonna hurt you.
Jesus Christ.
Some pocket trash.
You're gonna write on trash?
-It's not trash.
-Did you call me trash?
There's walls, you could have used them.
That's if you need any
further assistance at all.
I'm always on call.
Yep, that's what
you wrote, right there.
Hey, you said you were, uh,
looking into petty crimes in this area?
That's right.
That dude down in 6B,
he thinks he's a wizard,
and he's been making my
patio furniture disappear.
What do you want me to do with that?
Well, I mean, he stole my chairs, right?
And I went and I bought more chairs
and he stole them too.
Just go get 'em back.
No.
No, he, he does stuff with it.
Weird stuff?
Very much so. Yeah.
This has been real fun.
Uh, no one gives a flying fuck
about your folding chairs, Gary.
That guy sucks.
Seriously sucks.
Whoa, look at that.
Damn, where'd you get that phone at?
Well, it's just the one
that came with my contract.
Yeah?
That must be some contract, huh? Right?
I mean, what do you do exactly, like,
for work and stuff?
I...
You know, we don't really know each other.
You know what? That's fair.
Whatever. I get it.
Any reception here?
Your fancy phone-ass ain't working, huh?
That's weird.
Mine, mine works.
Is that cool?
Hit with the, with the.
Huh? It's great.
Three, five, I cannot-
Here it is.
Alright, get on, get on speaker phone.
Does yours have a speaker?
Hey, looks like you
found yourself a hidden Jim.
If you're calling, it ain't by accident.
You know what this is.
Leave your number and a
few details about yourself
and we'll let you know if we're into it.
Uh, what?
That was just weird.
Hmm.
Oddly sexual.
Right?
So, like, you wanna just
hang out or something?
I just, I just figured...
Yeah, okay.
That's cool.
What?
Hey, is she home?
I've told you already.
What do you mean?
She's downplay
with the twins at Bella's.
What did I... Come to think of it,
Bella took the girls to run some errands.
You think or you know?
Did you call Bella?
Where'd she take them.
Well, maybe if
she had a cellular phone,
like I suggested-
She don't need a goddamn cellphone.
You should just always know
where our eight-year-old
fucking daughter is.
I do.
-You had one fucking thing to do today.
-You don't know shit.
-They probably got her.
What do you mean they got her?
-Who?
-I, I don't fucking know.
The Russians, these internet fuck freaks.
What? You
better get the law on it.
Forget it. Jesus Christ, you're
a terrible fucking mother.
Oh, fuck you!
If she's wearing that hooker makeup,
I swear to God I'm
coming over Tuesday night
and I'm setting your
fucking trash cans on fire.
Tuesday's not even trash day.
Wedne-it's Wednesday?
You moron.
I ain't telling you shit.
Fine.
Then I'll just wait
for whenever your fucking trash day is.
-Baby, I'd like to see you try.
All I got is orange soda.
Diet.
Gotta keep my glucose level smooth.
The heck is this?
Son of bitch!
Oh, God!
No, no, no!
Whoa.
Wha-what the hell was he doing?
- Holy shit. Is he-
- He just escape charging in here
like some goddamn rhinoceros?
Did you kill him?
Not on purpose!
Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe it's not as bad as it looks.
-You think?
Well, it looks pretty fucking bad.
He definitely looks dead.
So... [Glenn] Fuck!
So maybe you just,
maybe the coffee can just
knocked him out or, you know,
maybe... Oh God, no.
Hey!
Oh, God!
No, no, no!
Whoa.
Wha-what the hell was he doing?
Holy shit. Is he-
He just came charging in here
like some goddamn rhinoceros.
Did you kill him?
Not on purpose!
Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe it's not as bad as it looks.
You think?
Well, it looks pretty fucking bad.
He definitely looks dead.
So... Fuck!
So maybe you just,
maybe the coffee can just
knocked him out or, you know,
maybe the, maybe the floor did?
Or maybe he just has low blood sugar
and passed out or...
Okay. He's breathing.
Where did this chair come from?
Oh, I used it earlier.
Hey, can we get this gun outta here?
Can you hide it or something?
I, I don't even want to know where it is.
I can't breathe.
Help. I'm dying.
You ain't dying.
Somebody help!
Help!
You should try breathing
through your mouth.
What do want with me?
What?
What do you want with me?
I can't understand what you are saying.
You, you do know what
the gag's for though, right?
Thank you.
Well, I ain't taking his gag out.
I don't trust him.
But I think you're
gonna need to take it out
so we can communicate with him.
If I take that gag out,
he's gonna start yelling for help,
which you don't need because
we're not doing nothing to you.
Yeah, but he's been yelling for help.
I don't, I don't know if your socks work
as well as you thinks they do.
Okay.
Hey, if I take that gag
out, you're gonna scream?
Yeah, probably.
See?
Gag says.
Oh, wait. Hold on.
All right.
I know you don't wanna take the gag out
'cause of the screaming, but, like,
he's screaming anyway.
And eventually you're gonna have to decide
if you're gonna feed this guy
or you're gonna let him starve to death
with your dirty socks in his mouth.
Well, I hadn't really
considered, like, meals.
Just take the gag out.
You gonna scream again?
To be honest with you, man.
I'm surprised you even woke up.
He got hit in the head
real hard, like, two times.
Yeah, twice.
So y'all planning killing me too?
I mean, I wouldn't
call any of this planned.
Where is he?
Where is who?
Don't bullshit me.
Couldn't have been 30
seconds before I came in here,
you guys were talking
about getting rid of him.
The only person that's been here today
besides us is you.
Don't like to me.
This motherfucker, I heard it.
You guys were trying to decide
what to do with him and I busted in.
I was cleaning up the mess that you made
when you kicked in my doors again.
That's two doors.
Well, he only kicked in
the one door two times.
The other door, he
shot at, so it's a little bit-
That don't matter.
I got two doors that I gotta clean up now
and he's over here giving me
all this immediate doorman horseshit.
Imminent domain.
Yeah, that's probably it.
But you, you're right,
it doesn't matter 'cause he
doesn't understand cop words
'cause he's not a real cop.
Now, hey, wait a minute.
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah?
I felt certain that he was
gonna tell me to shut up, but-
Why would I do that?
I'm very excited to hear
what you might have to say.
-Okay.
-Please continue, fuckhead.
All right, well, uh,
I maybe am not a real cop per se,
but I didn't necessarily lie to you.
You exactly lied to me.
No, no, no.
I, I am a detective,
uh, just a private one.
Who walks around
with a fake police badge.
Nope, that badge is
quite real, uh, but it's,
it's not mine.
That is not better.
And you broke into my home.
I, I didn't, technically.
Twice, two times.
I know that for a fact
'cause of the doors.
Well, your girl here let me in.
I am not his girl.
Whoa, buddy.
She's got a name.
And I didn't let you in.
-You opened the door for me.
-And you tried to kill me in my own home.
If I was trying to kill you,
I'd have killed you.
I was just clipping your feathers.
Well you just can't assert yourself
into people's domiciles
and then go about trimming birds.
Okay.
I am sorry for coming into your home
and shooting a gun at you.
I suppose I should not have done that.
But to be fair, when I came in here,
you two tried to murder me
and now I'm apparently
your fuckin' hostage.
Now, I'd say that makes us mostly even.
Even?
Even?
What about my fucking doors?
And that ain't blood.
It's not real blood anyhow.
What are you wanting that sword for?
Like, sword stuff.
Is that the one you're gonna use to
kill yourself?
Is that what you would want me to do?
No, no.
But shit, I ain't your daddy.
Would be a shame, though.
Can we get this over with?
You got me in your gross murder room.
You're either gonna kill me
or let me die of boredom.
I ain't a killer.
I got it on tape.
I got the whole goddamn thing!
Prove it.
I will, as soon as you
call your precious police.
Wait. How do you have anything on tape?
I just did.
Did you bug my goddamn house?
Maybe.
You son of a bitch.
I'ma find that-
Don't matter much now.
-Where the hell is it?
I got everything I need.
Oh, hell no.
-You dumb bastard.
-Sumbitch,
you gonna violate someone,
listening to their private,
intimate thoughts and shit.
It's gotta be here.
-Hey. All right. Well, let's just calm down.
We're gonna find it.
But this, this is... No,
it's not...
-Okay.
-Did he bug me?
Calm down.
- I did not shed blood... Glenn
- For this country... Hey. Cool it.
-Hey. Okay.
-You put it in my succulent,
you son of a bitch?
He didn't hide it in your
succ-Hey, let's go about it logically.
Hey, Glenn.
Deep breaths, okay?
This is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna retrace our steps
and figure out when he
had an opportunity to hide it.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Surveil me in my own goddamn home.
I'm an American man.
Did he put a thing in there?
I bet he did.
Check, check.
No, that's just a marker.
Hey, thank you
for, you know, having my back out there,
trying to keep me leveled out.
Oh, that's all right.
We can't let him get
away with whatever this is.
You know, the sooner
we find this damn thing
and get it over to the police,
the quicker we can get rid of him.
Holy Christ. Do you smell that?
Smell what?
Whoa damn.
That is stank.
Like a swamp of Indian food diarrhea.
Oh. Oh, God!
Oh. Oh.
Jesus.
Oh, that feels like a dead body
made out of tires.
I told you!
Ew, what is that?
Is that a wife beater?
-Don't call it that.
-You gonna fry, boy!
-Shut the fuck up!
-Fucking shut up!
-Fuck you. You shut up.
-I'm gonna fucking choke slam that man.
Don't let him get under your skin.
That's what he's trying to do.
Oh.
Hey, Jane, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Why were you gonna buy the sword?
Well...
Shit!
Well, there goes another chair.
Well, you might as well fuck it too.
Is that what you think
he's doing with them?
Hang on. Hold on.
There you go.
Okay.
-What's he trying to Do?
I almost got it.
I can be very elusive.
-I swear.
-He's trying to force
the ropes to break.
-Yeah.
-Shit. Okay.
-Hold on.
-He's so stupid.
Shit. Okay.
He's like a drunk armadillo.
What is going on?
I'm pretty sure I have it.
Should we help him or something?
It's like a turtle.
There it is.
That was like the hardest way to do that.
Yeah.
That was more impressive in my head.
Okay.
You've had a knife this whole time.
This is Texas, darlin'
Okay.
You and you, over there, trading places.
No need to... I wanna be by the door.
So you're gonna stab us both to death
with a pocket knife?
I'm tired of this shit.
I'm starting to think whatever
the hell is going on here
got nothing to do with me.
-Yeah, don't really know
why you came here... It never did.
-In the first place. - Who took her?
Who?
Emma.
Never heard of her.
Bullshit. Who's that?
That them?
Who you working for?
I ain't got no job.
What the fuck is going on in here?
Why don't you tell us,
Jim Jenkins from 8302 Springwood.
Oh, hell yeah, girl.
Born June 6th, 1969.
5'6.5".
Brown hair, green eyes, organ donor.
No, it's disappointing.
-Yeah.
-It's not surprising.
Congratulations.
You're good at stealing
things from unconscious people.
I think it's time we
call the real police.
Great.
Damn, they're fast.
Kenneth!
Oh, shit.
That's my landlord.
Hello? Kenneth?
Kenneth?
Yeah, it's a long story.
It's not that long.
It's probably just the way I talk.
I let myself in.
I have key. It's okay.
Goddamn it!
Seriously?
He's got boundary problems.
Go get rid of him.
-Go.
-Okay.
Hang on.
Stinky fucking Russians.
Kenneth?
I come check everything
is tip-top for you.
Everything okay?
Hey, Ivan.
What's going on?
Kenneth, my guy.
There you are.
Everything all right?
I ask you same. Uh, why are you sweating?
Uh, yeah. Hey, remember
we had that talk about privacy?
I really wish you wouldn't
just walk on in here like that.
You want privacy, then you go buy lock.
I have one
Relax.
I own building.
Everything is okay.
Oh.
Listen, Kenneth, there is
cowboy running around.
He's making trouble.
He thinks he's real Clinton Westward,
but really he's all hat and no cattle.
Gotcha. Yeah.
I see him snooping
around your front door earlier,
so I just come check
out everything is A-okay.
Cool, cool.
He's a real pee hole.
I knew I smelled fucking cabbage.
Kenneth, it look like
you forget to take trash
to dumpster.
Watch your goddamn mouth, Comrade.
Oh, Kenneth, is that what I think?
Uh, maybe.
This is choice kit, my guy
-Right?
-Oh, thanks.
I just mess around sometimes.
Yes, of course. Very, very chill.
Uh, you, you drop beat?
I'm gonna hit the toilet.
Which one?
I don't know.
The inside one, you goddamn hillbilly.
No, I mean, you drippin' or you dropping?
Drippin' - Kenneth!
You drop fucking beat or no?
Oh, yeah.
My guy.
I bust flow, bareback, no jimmy.
I've got butterfly
knife skills for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
I've got butterfly
knife skill for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
I've got butterfly
knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Their payment coming up
Rent always due
I landlord them like I'm Putin
Put their bills through the roof
And evacuate when the water poops pipe
When the time is right
To cancel them Rothschild
credit cards like all night
Move, but not too slow
Don't slow your roll like Crisco
Hack the data file, the database
And switch to crypto
De-centralize and realize my payment
Just like net gain
Close the browser, close the VPN
And exit NetScape
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Move fits the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Move fits the bill
Fuck this guy.
Well, well, well.
Who's running the rodeo now?
Debra?
Jim.
You got some good
fucking news for me, I hope
I found her, and she's fine,
just like I said.
Yeah, no thanks to you.
You wanna
know where she is or not?
Well, what is it?
Got her back in the living room.
She's just playing.
Oh, thank God. Is she okay?
Yeah, I told you she's fine.
What do you think kids do, Jim?
Where is she?
Who took my baby?
Like I said, Bella
took 'em to run errands
and they stopped for ice cream.
Like, at a parlor?
Yeah, parlor.
That's where you get ice cream, isn't it?
-Can I just talk to her?
Yeah, she don't wanna
talk to anyone. She's playing.
Did you tell her it was her daddy?
Yeah, I told her it's her daddy.
She don't wanna talk to you.
Well, you upset her, Jim.
She don't wanna talk.
Yeah. Okay.
Just gotta give her a
little space. No, I get it. It's fine.
She just needs a minute.
All right. I'll try her back later.
Look, don't do
something stupid. Okay?
-Yeah. Okay.
-She needs you.
Bye. Hey, wait, Deb.
I ain't had a cigarette in two days.
Deb, hello.
Yeah, disposal's got a hiccup.
What? And it do all this?
Well, tangentially, kinda.
And what, uh, what
seems to be the problem?
What happened to your voice?
What do you mean?
Keeps shorting out?
It doesn't happen always,
but it ain't never neither.
Yeah, classic plumbing tool.
Knife is only tool you ever need.
Amen, brother.
Always carry knife with you.
You never know when you
have to kill someone you love
just so you do not die alone.
My daddy said that all the time.
Yeah.
Oh, you drop beat two-time?
I need zone.
Sure.
My guy.
This is my shit.
Kenneth, hit switch.
Holy shit!
Ivan, are you o-
Oh, fucking... Oh, no.
What the fuck?
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
What the fuck happened?
I don't know. I don't know.
I, I, I just flipped the switch and,
and now he's like this.
- I don't, but where could he-
- Look, I dunno.
How could that even happen?
Where... Where did he fucking go?
Where the fuck is the rest of him?
I fucking knew it!
No, Glenn didn't do anything.
Something... Hang on. I, I didn't.
I, I didn't... Don't you fucking move.
I didn't do anything, man.
There's toilet paper all over your gun.
Shut that mayo hole up!
I told you not to fucking move!
-He was putting his hands up!
Did I tell him to do that?
Why wouldn't he do that?
I had to stop him.
I, I knew it before.
What in the actual
fuck is wrong with you?
He's dead on the ground
and he was just standing over him.
-Well, Glenn didn't kill him!
And you didn't even ask.
You just walked in here
and fucking shot him.
I, I didn't mean to, I'm s-
My daughter, she, she
wasn't missing at all.
Wonderful fucking time!
So the fuck what?
Your daughter's safe at home
and so you celebrate by
coming into a stranger's house
and fucking shooting him?
Her mom don't want nothing to do with me.
Oh, can you blame them?
I don't know what the
fuck I'm doing here, man.
That's not fucking good enough!
Self-centered piece of shit!
Fuck.
You don't get to walk away from this!
Fuck!
How are you doing, bud?
I'm not great. I got shot.
Yeah, you did.
It looks like it's just
in the arm, though.
Oh.
You're lucky. It's gonna be all right.
Where'd that motherfucker go?
No, no, no, no, no.
Just relax.
You don't need to make
this any worse than it is.
Okay?
Here.
Put some pressure on it.
Oh, okay, okay.
Deep breaths through your mouth.
Okay?
Ow, it burns.
What the fuck is happening?
Calm down. I'm still here.
That was so far outta line.
If I could explain anything
that just happened,
you'd already be in handcuffs.
If I could explain any of this,
I would have stayed in bed today.
Maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea.
I'm trying to stop
something and then, and
then it wasn't, and...
Nothing's making sense.
Fuck.
Wish something would just
fucking work like I want it to.
Fuck!
You are such a goddamn piece of work.
Spare me.
No, I don't think I will!
I think it needs to be emphasized to you
what a gargantuan, astronomical,
black gaping hole of an
asshole you actually are.
Yeah.
Why, though?
You know you could just not, right?
Like, you know how you woke up this
morning and decided to be an asshole?
Maybe tomorrow, don't.
Like, buy a Peloton, fucking eat a salad,
do something else.
Ugh.
Why are you like this?
I don't know.
Just my whole life, like,
things are just slightly outta reach
and I just can't ever
get 'em right, you know?
And it's just another fucking one thing
in the long line of bullshit.
You know, you don't get to make
your shitty life everybody else's problem.
Either notice that the
people around you also exist
or just fuck off.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you've already
broken into somebody's house
and held two people at knife point.
Pocket knife point.
Okay.
I am sorry.
Tell that to Glenn.
You could have killed him.
Okay. Yeah.
Here.
Thanks.
Maybe don't use that badge anymore.
What is this?
Just read it.
I don't understand.
Emma is my daughter.
I got this in the mail two days ago.
Oh.
The funny thing is
that is my handwriting,
but I didn't write that.
How?
I don't know.
I thought for sure you
two had something to do
with her being kidnapped.
But apparently she's
just home, perfectly fine,
hating me as usual.
She doesn't hate you.
Hey, hey, man.
It's all right. It's okay.
We all do crazy,
regretful things in the heat of battle.
Oh, look.
Found these here leftover Vicodins
from a impacted tooth.
Tight.
Hmm? Hmm?
Coffee?
Yeah, I think you need some, buddy.
Coffee's good.
Hadn't had it warm since Debra left.
So,
you wrote this?
Mm-hmm.
Then sent It?
Seems like it - Apparently.
But you got no idea?
Nope.
But...
Like,
how?
Hmm.
I think it's time you
go get that recording.
Fucking bitch!
They found me.
Everyone, get down.
Not like that, Glenn.
On the ground!
They know.
-Who knows?
-I don't know, somebody.
Well, what do they know?
I don't know. Some shit.
They shot at me.
Who the hell would shoot at you
without getting to know you first?
I don't know, Glenn, but
my windshield exploded.
All right.
Hey look, you go lock the door,
you go draw them
curtains, and I guess, uh,
I'll clean up Ivan's legs.
Gross.
Hmm. Yeah?
Bear Grylls taught me this.
Who the fuck is Bear Grylls?
Survivalist.
What an idiot.
He's not an idiot. You're an idiot.
Fine.
Fuck!
What?
I only got the lighter plug.
The other one is back in my car.
Hang on.
Shit.
Where are you?
-Sh.
-There you are.
Glenn, shut the fuck up.
We're under duress.
-Shh.
-Got it.
What's he doing? What's he doing?
Tape deck.
See?
Okay,
Now listen.
Oh God. No, no, no.
Whoa.
Wha-what the hell was he doing?
- Holy shit. Is he-
- He just came charging in here
like some goddamn rhinoceros.
Did you kill him?
Not on purpose.
Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe it's not as bad as it looks.
You think?
Well, it looks pretty fucking bad.
He definitely looks dead.
So... Fuck!
So maybe just,
maybe the coffee can just knocked him out.
Or, you know, maybe...
How do you explain this?
Maybe the floor did.
Maybe he just... Well, I can't.
-Has low blood sugar.
-Give it a try. - And passed out.
That's you.
Okay.
-He's breathing.
-Me? How?
Yeah, when you busted in the door
and Glenn hit you in the
head with the coffee can.
That's you.
No. Bullshit.
Oh, my God.
The shirt
from the cabinet, I think it was Ivan's.
What the fuck is going on with that sink?
Hurry up.
I don't wanna do it.
It's your apartment.
I'm just a guest here.
Oh, you're a guest?
This is how guests act?
Yeah, well, maybe it'd go a lot faster
if I had two working arms.
Gimme this goddamn thing.
Huh.
Well, all right.
Nothing.
Hmm.
Maybe there's a switch or something.
Hey, hey, hey.
Watch out there, Kamikaze.
Watch the lights.
We're in enemy territory.
What were we
doing last time this happened?
No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
There's your bug.
Huh.
Goddamn, there's the bug.
Maybe you're right about that switch.
Perhaps.
Ready?
Ready.
Well, shit.
What now?
Well, this is a
pretty suspicious wire here,
Huh?
Guess I never noticed that before.
You never noticed this giant black wire
on your white walls?
Yeah, that's some bad
electrical work right there.
Been here since I've been here.
That would not pass code in the US of A,
maybe in Kiev.
Well, don't pull on it.
That might be a load-bearing wire.
That is ridiculous.
I don't know.
Maybe it goes to that doorbell
neither one of you
know how to fucking use.
That should not be like that, should it?
I don't know.
Do I look like I built fucking Chernobyl?
It looks like it runs
into this outlet back here.
The music!
Huh?
This, this gets plugged into that outlet.
And I was playing with the
music when Ivan disappeared.
Man, why they called it
an outlet instead of an inlet
'cause you're sticking things into it?
I don't mean to contradict
your kindergarten teacher, Glenn,
but there is such thing
as a stupid question.
No.
Somebody go hit that switch.
I got it.
Let me get the broom.
Ready!
Hold on.
Wait, hold on.
Shit.
Holy shit!
It fucking worked.
Yes!
Fucking shit!
What exactly did it do?
I I, I don't know.
Uh, well, that just cut
it in half again, actually,
-I guess.
-Yeah. Okay.
There's too many variables in this.
We gotta clear this area and
do some more experiments.
Glenn, we gotta move this body.
Fine.
I'll help you.
Oh, this is so gross.
I looked right at it.
Hey, man, while you're
sitting there doing nothing,
why don't you go to that closet
and get the hand sweeper.
All right, Gomer.
-All right, we're gonna have to...
-Yeah, I think so.
-All right.
-Okay.
Oh, oh, oh.
This is so nasty.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God. Sorry, Ivan.
You all right, buddy.
Hey, this?
Yep, that's it.
That's the one.
Yep.
I don't want, uh, anyone
who hasn't shot me
to fall on all this ground coffee.
Wait. Let me see this.
This is goddam... That one too.
It's a goddamn teleportation device.
-Yeah.
-What?
Yeah. Your hand broom matches the stick.
No, no, no.
I've had that hand damn sweeper for years.
Come to think of it, I
didn't buy that damn thing.
It was just here when I moved in.
Where did you find it?
Yeah, it was, uh... If
I remember correctly,
it was
back under the cabinet,
over there behind the,
the pipes.
Wait, that means... It
traveled back in time.
No fucking way.
No.
Yeah, that must have been
like three or four years ago.
All right. Well, we just need to
pinpoint exactly when this showed up.
I'd probably guess it was somewhere
between that third and
then the fourth year.
That is not what pinpoint means.
We do not know how
long it's been back there.
Yeah, exactly.
I have no clue.
This is amazing.
I can't think with this racket.
Should have known he'd throw a tantrum.
How the shit do you turn this thing off?
Stupid fucking thing.
Huh.
All right.
So here is everything we know.
We have a time machine.
Do we?
Well, yeah. What would you call it?
I don't know.
Are we even certain
what the fuck it's doing.
You got another explanation
for everything that's been happening?
Could be the Vietnamese.
Charlie outside shooting at me earlier,
that's what it was.
They're looking for this magic box.
Maybe it's witchcraft.
That son of a bitch!
Or maybe it's a military-grade teleporter
A teleporter moves things
from point A to point B.
Yeah, but time machine does
the same thing, though, right?
Except point A and point B
are the same place
but at a different time.
Okay.
So we have something
that sends, or teleports,
whatever is inside it to a
different place and time.
Bingo.
Okay. What else?
Write that down, bingo.
All right, bingo. Yeah.
It does have a force field
on the outside of it, like,
when you go in.
Yeah, that's right.
Like, nothing can get
inside of it when it's on,
just like a...
Shit, it's a Faraday cage.
What the fuck is a Farrengay cage?
Well, imagine a hamster cage,
except it's made entirely outta metal,
and nothing can get in it when it's on.
And when it's turned
on, the force field, right,
that force field you were talking about,
that little hamster, all furry and cute,
he's just running inside that cage.
And, like, he's going to die eventually,
but on the outside you
don't know if it's alive or dead.
So you kind of have to assume
that he is alive and dead.
Simple physics.
There's so much wrong with...
Okay, most hamster
cages are made of metal,
number one - Solid metal, though.
Like a, like a sphere.
That's not really what that is.
It's just a theory.
I thought it sounded pretty good, Glenn.
Okay.
We also know that this thing is not stable
or consistent because it
sent the broom back years
but it only sent Ivan back like an hour.
Lord rest his soul.
Now, does this prove
or disprove paradoxes?
Honestly, I don't even know.
It's like you can't use something
that hasn't happened as
proof of anything, right?
Exactly.
Like, is the past even real?
Right, like... Wait, what?
Like, how can we be sure
our memories are memories
and not just an imagined nightmare?
Okay, that's not really what I was...
I mean, I guess we can't.
No.
'Cause we wouldn't all be
imagining the same thing.
Maybe we're not.
What you mean?
Maybe we're all just a
part of my imagination.
You sound like a stoned
middle school student.
Wait, does this mean I'm not me?
Fucking doubt it - Guys!
There are a lot of
implications afoot here.
I have an idea.
Think it'll work?
Can't hurt to try. It's just a note.
All right.
I'll get the music.
Hang on.
Hell's this?
Insurance?
On a pot?
Are you ready?
Ready.
Are you sure about this?
Nope.
As soon as I shut the door, hit switch.
Did it work?
I don't know.
I didn't hear nothing.
Did what?
Good lord.
Whoa.
I just ask. What we doing?
No fucking way. He's back.
My guy!
Handle is fixed.
Ivan, I have never been so happy
to see you in my life.
Whoa. Cool jets, Iceman.
Everything is fine.
I call electric man.
He come Monday. He fix it up.
Just maybe don't use
sink until then, okay?
Oh, and keep eye on pee hole.
Kenneth Rogers, my guy.
Does he think you're Kenny Rogers?
You got to hold when you know of them
Know how you show them
I only walk this way after
That motherfucker is harder to kill
than a goddamn cockroach.
You hear those gunshots?
No.
Exactly.
It's the Russians.
They don't kill their own.
They kind of do.
I fucking knew it.
It worked!
Huh.
Look at it.
You see that?
It worked.
What happened in your eye?
Huh?
Oh, this.
Oh, it's nothing.
It was a couple years back.
I guess I... Oh, shit!
Someone's here. Someone's here.
Yes!
Oh.
Oh, my sweet baby.
Oh, you pretty bitch.
Oh.
Damn.
Look at you, baby.
Oh. Oh.
Hiya! Hiya!
Yeah, look at that.
Damn.
Full tang.
It ain't funny.
I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Yeah. I mean, it don't hurt anymore.
I mean, there ain't nothing in there,
but I can feel it moving around sometimes.
That is upsetting.
But it looks like your arm's better.
Yeah. I guess we fixed
that fucking problem.
Yeah, I mean, well, my eye is missing.
Maybe you should stop playing with swords
like a grown fucking cyclops.
Oh, you wanna talk to
me about weapon safety?
-Really?
-No, he's right.
We fixed one problem,
we could fix another.
Ah, it's a slippery slope.
We can stop.
Honestly, we probably should.
Hell no.
I want my fuckin' eye back.
Besides, we don't know how long
the window's gonna
stay open on this thing.
Right.
Window.
Right.
What's wrong?
Jim?
What's going on, man?
I know why I'm here.
What do you mean?
I have to go back?
Back?
To the car?
No.
Yes, but no.
No. No, you can't.
You saw what happened to Ivan.
Ivan wasn't even all the way in there.
The door wasn't even closed.
I- i-it could work.
You're fucking crazy.
It has to work.
The, the, the letter.
It's the only thing that makes any sense.
This letter, it's been right.
I, I've just been thinking about it wrong.
I gotta go back and save my family.
We don't even know
how stable this thing is.
It's become very clear to me that I'm
the only one who knows how to fix this.
I've gotta get to myself
as far back as I can go.
He's got to know.
He's got to know everything.
Me, I, I, I, I,
I gotta know everything is at, at stake.
A a-a- and, of course,
k- keep it outta pinko hands.
I think we need to send
that audio transmitter
back in time to monitor the situation,
make sure it's, uh, it's, it's safe.
Yeah. Yeah, that sounds cool.
I'm in.
Yeah.
Wait, let me do it.
How many body parts
do you wanna lose today?
I can't let you do that.
You wouldn't even
make it to the sidewalk.
Them fells shooting out there at you,
they don't know what I look like.
I bet I make it all the way to the car
before they realize what's going on.
You sure that's something you can handle?
No!
Nobody's going outside.
I don't have a choice, Jane.
Yes, you do.
I'm sorry,
but I'm doing this with
or without your help.
You are such a goddamn donkey!
I'll go.
Hey, no.
I would die if something happened to you.
You'd die?
Like, really?
Maybe.
I don't know.
-Pussy.
-Besides, I'm the quickest one here.
You sure you can handle that, Glenn,
with the COPD?
Son.
Put on a suit, bitch.
You going to church?
I'm gonna show you how
the world spins, player.
Is that so?
That's right, dawg. You don't even know.
I got quickness and thickness.
Oh.
I went to state.
Uh-huh.
State fair or... [Glenn] That's right.
You got a corn dog?
Yep, broke the Gravitron.
Ow!
Glenn, you lost an eye.
You got a whole half of your body
you can't protect from
a whole half of the world
you can't see.
Look at you.
Can't even defend
yourself from a fucking pen.
You're a goddamn liability.
And I'm not about to risk
my family on a fucking cripple
trying to be a goddamn hero!
You blind fuck!
That wasn't entirely necessary.
Ain't a lot of us are.
I was doing this to help you, man.
And right now I'm asking myself
why I would even bother with that.
Why are you like this?
How many times you
gotta learn this, Glenn?
This ain't about you
and your fucking feelings.
There's only one thing I
care about in this world.
Again with the gun?
You're just a means to an end, darlin'.
So you haven't learned
anything, like, at all.
You're still just gonna
try strong arm your way
into controlling everybody!
I don't handle stress well.
Well, feeling bad about it
doesn't make any difference.
You're still the same
asshole you've always been.
But I'm gonna go out there, okay?
I'm gonna risk my life
to give you your little
shitty daddy do-over.
You know, you could go right now
and start being a good father to her now?
You could show her that showing up
and being there and
owning your bullshit matters.
My daughter matters to me!
I just got, I gotta go back
and make her love me.
Fuck you, man!
She should probably make less noise.
It is like eating your
own asshole, isn't it?
Right? Specifically you.
Like, forever.
Mm.
Well, you ever heard of a ouroboros?
No, man.
That's the snake eating its own tail.
Okay. I am familiar with that.
Okay.
Well, picture that, except
the tail is an asshole
and then the head is also another asshole,
and they're just eating each other,
just keeps on collapsing
upon its asshole an nature,
backward and forward through time.
Always in an asshole,
just never getting shit out right.
Right?
-Mm-hmm.
-All right, well, to summarize,
the asshole eats one asshole
and just creates a big
old seamless asshole.
You know what I mean?
It's just forever loop, infinite asshole.
That's you.
Time travel.
Yeah.
So, so I'm an asshole.
That is what... Definitely.
-Hmm.
-Yeah.
Okay, I, I get it.
Are you okay?
What happened?
Found your shooter.
-Hmm.
-Yeah,
you left your vape on
the dashboard of your car.
It exploded.
They can do that?
Yeah, apparently.
Well, it sounded like a goddamn gunshot.
No one was shooting at us, were they?
My windshield exploded!
I'm sure it did.
The whole goddamn thing.
And that's what you
thought was a gunshot?
You stupid bitch.
Shut the fuck up, Gary.
Did you get the cord?
What now?
I wanna go back in time and fix this.
Weren't it in the future last time?
Yeah, I think the radio frequency
'caused some kind of counter reaction.
Yeah.
And if the music's the catalyst,
maybe that affects how
far you go in either direction.
I wonder how far back it goes.
Let's just fucking do it!
We're running out of time.
I think we have all the time.
You're not fucking Doc Brown.
You know that, right?
Let's go!
Ready?
Ready!
Did it work?
Let's go find out
Anything?
Hang on. Can't tell yet.
Oh. Yeah, something's coming through here.
Come on.
-What is it?
-Shh.
I assure you,
I walked this unit
myself just this morning.
Huh?
Who is that?
What a weirdly-That's my landlord.
Specific message to leave.
That ain't the fucking Russian.
Well, I mean, man, that
Ivan, he's strange, man.
That Russian accident
kind of comes and goes.
I could use some protection.
I'll think about that.
I I'm going to crack a window now.
Whew.
Man, I used to work roadside,
scooping coons been
cooking in the sun all day.
I mean, it ain't exactly the same,
but there is something
not right right here.
Huh.
What's this?
Oh, that appears
to be the warranty papers
from the disposal that I installed-
This don't make any sense.
Very sorry about this. This is-
Man, something ain't right.
This is deeply unacceptable.
-When did you move in?
-Don't worry about it, man.
Whoa.
There's a
unit just a few doors down
that I would love for you to take a peek.
Oh, hell no.
Now, you knock a couple
hundred bucks off her-
No!
I'll still take it.
No, this, this never happened.
This is ridiculous.
It don't make any goddamn sense.
So what did happen?
I, I never even had
that conversation with him.
I sure as hell didn't get
no discount on my rent.
This place was spotless.
Goddamn.
So something changed. Why?
The only thing we seem to know for sure
is that the timeline is
connected to his time
in this apartment.
But this weren't even the same timeline.
Yeah, we don't know that for sure.
We don't even know why any of this works.
But we do know that it works.
So that's two things that we know,
and that's good enough for me.
- Yeah, but... That's the opposite of what-
- What if that is isn't, like, our world?
What if this goddamn thing
takes us to another dimension?
Jesus!
Emma we'll be there.
That's all that matters.
What if you get there and
Emma doesn't even exist?
I'll find her.
What do you think I'm trying to do here?
I think you're trying to make
everybody do whatever you want
on whatever whim you have, like always.
This probably isn't even
the first time we've done this.
All the more reason.
We gotta keep it going.
We gotta keep those snakes
eating each other's asshole.
You know what I'm talking about?
Fuck!
He's talking about that ouroboros.
There we go.
The loop. We can't stop the loop.
Fuck the loop.
This is the way it's gotta be.
You just don't get it.
I get that I'm gonna get in that sink.
I think you need to shut your
eyeballs and open your ear holes.
I'm about to travel
back in time. I've been
laying it down for you...
I'm gonna be the first
fucking guy. For like
an hour. I've been telling
you over and over again what a dumb bitch
you are. [Jim] This is a good
feeling. This is a great feeling.
I don't think you need
to feel good about this.
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's' go!
-I've been very clear-Put me in the sink!
I don't think you're gonna fit.
You got an envelope?
That's good.
Here you go, man.
Thanks, Glenn.
Uh, sorry about the gun stuff.
-What are you gonna do, man?
-Now, listen.
There's a chance that I don't make it.
But, uh, if that is the case,
I'm hoping that you'll mail it for me.
You sure we're not doing,
uh, "Terminator" rules?
I don't know what that means.
I still think you should get
all the way naked first,
just in case.
I will not... Here, take that.
All right.
You want me to hold it?
Might as well.
We gonna do this thing?
Might as well.
Jane, take care of yourself now, huh?
Mm-hmm. All right, then.
Good luck, brother.
Don't let the doorknob hit you
where the good Lord split you.
You think he made it?
No.
No, he died.
I assure you,
I walked this unit
myself just this morning.
Huh.
What a weirdly specific message to leave.
Just try not to breathe
through your nose.
You know what, though?
That's not a bad piece
of advice right there.
I could use some protection.
I'll think about that.
I'm going to crack a window now.
Whew.
Man, I used to work roadside,
scooping coons been cooking
in the sun all day.
I mean, it ain't exactly the same,
but there is something
not right right here.
Huh.
What's this?
Oh, that appears to
be the warranty papers
from the disposal that
I installed last year.
Again, I'm very sorry about this.
This is just,
this is deeply unacceptable.
Don't worry about it, man.
Oh.
There's a
unit just a few doors down
that I would love for you to take a peek.
Oh, hell no. No.
You knock a couple hundred bucks off her,
I'll still take it.
I don't think I would
be entirely comfortable.
Oof.
I'm fine.
I'll t-
I mean, you just let
it air out a few days,
it'll be great.
Oh.
I'll need a few days to think about it.
I will consult with Mother.
Come, let's get some fresh air.
I'll come back in the
morning and clean this up
and I'll talk to Mother.
I guess I would have remembered.
Hey, Glenn.
Yeah.
My name's not Jane.
Yeah, I know.
You did?
Yeah.
Uh, the real Jane texted
me a couple hours back,
said she couldn't make it.
So I just, I don't know,
we were having fun.
You should probably
not live here anymore.
Yeah, nobody should.
This place needs a fire.
Emma deserved better.
She deserved her dad.
No, she deserved a better dad.
That too.
That guy just...
What a fucking dickhead.
Nobody's home.
It's been empty for some time.
I'm looking for
someone that used to live here.
What do you want with them?
My father went missing from here
when I was a kid.
This is the last place anyone saw him.
He kinda disappeared into thin air.
I think I may be of some assistance.
Are you sure
we're allowed to be in here?
Certainly.
A fantastic specimen, isn't it?
Pine. Virgin wood.
Completely unsauced.
I don't really like
where you're going... Focus.
Feel the grain with your fingers,
the smoothness in the ridges.
Ever so supple.
Perfectly crafted to
accumulate an adequate saucing.
Right.
So we definitely wanna make sure
the saucing is adequate.
'Tis merely lubrication,
naturally occurring at that,
absolutely necessary for a pleasant slide.
Mm-hmm.
Now, focus on a single point.
And at the count of three, you can get up.
Okay.
One,
two,
three.
Oh, gross.
What the fuck!
Hello?
Oh, I didn't even hear you knock.
Jane, right?
For the sword?
Yep. Yep.
Come on in.
Big belts, bolo ties
Don't mess with Texas
It's the apple of my eye
Hometown
H-Town
My girl look like Selena
Don't think you gon' take her out
Don't do it, boy
I see you flexin' but I'm Texan
I ain't with the disrespectin'
Don't do it, boy
I ain't down with the NRA
Don't hide behind a pistol, boy
Put that away
Lucas on the music
Don't need no band
Every bad bitch like
a sharp dressed man
Don't do it, boy
Don't need no lawyer, ain't no trial
I'ma leave you in the bayou
Don't do it, boy
Trail riders
Giddy-up
We jammin' zydeco
Got that Shiner in our cup
Juneteenth
Need my freedom, no limits
Lone Star livin', I
don't like the politicians
Don't do it, boy
I see you flexin', but I'm Texan
I ain't with the disrespectin'
Don't do it, boy
Big trucks
Toyotathon
I like Solange
Greg Abbott, not so much
South by Southwest
I need a bigger check
Don't like steak and shrimp
But it's still RIP to Pimp
Don't do it, boy
Don't need no lawyer, ain't no trial
I'ma leave you in the bayou
Don't do it, boy
Don't need no lawyer
Ain't gonna sue you
I'ma leave you in the sewer
Don't do it, boy
I see you flexin', but I'm Texan
I ain't with the disrespectin'
Don't do it, boy
I bust flow, bareback, no Jimmy.
Got the butterfly
knife skills for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
I've got butterfly
knife skills for real
I style like a butterfly
My moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Their payment's coming up
Rent always due
I landlord 'em like I'm Putin
Put the bills through the roof
And evacuate when
the water poops pipes
When the time is right
Cancel them Rothschild
credit cards like all night
Move, but not too slow
Don't slow your roll like Crisco
Hack them data file, data base
And switch to crypto
De-centralize and realize my payment
Just like net gains
Close the browser, close my VPN
And exit NetScape
Drop the balaclava
Walk the streets
speaking Czech and Slavic
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Butterfly knife skills for real
Style like a butterfly
Moves fit the bill
Zoom in on my chest hair.