Something in the Water (2024) Movie Script

-Oh, god.
-Oh, god.
I asked Lizzie if she was
secretly raging
that Dom hadn't proposed to her
somewhere like
the top of the Eiffel Tower.
And she was like,
"Actually, I would have hated
that. It's such a clich."
She would have loved that.
I know!
Oh my god,
I didn't even tell you
the best bit.
She made him stay right there,
down on one knee.
Literally told him not to move
a muscle
while she got changed
and put her make-up on.
Just so she wouldn't get
proposed to in her PJs.
Oh God, that is the most
Lizzie thing
-I think I've ever heard.
-Oh, poor guy.
Nah, he'll be alright.
He knows what
he's signing up for.
Still don't envy
him though.
Do you really think Cam's
parents will pay
for us to fly out
for the wedding?
Well, there's no way
we can afford it.
Must be nice,
being richer than God.
I'm telling you, okay,
it's not my fault.
Aye, watch them.
Ugh, man.
-Are they looking at us?
-I don't know.
I think they're looking
at you, man.
Come on.
I think they're looking at you.
Aye, watch them get
up the step, though.
Ugh, man.
Fucking dykes.
Why they looking at us?
Why do you always
have to do that?
Ugh... Argh!
What you doing? Get off!
Is she your girlfriend?
No! No!
No! Meg!
Come on!
Take a deep breath.
Notice any anxiety
you may be holding in your body
and allow it to release.
Draw your awareness to the
ground underneath your feet
as you walk.
Let tension drop away.
Letting go
of the past, as you...
-You already said that.
-Oh, no. It's fine.
I've er...I've got it.
Okay then.
We good to go?
You have
one saved message.
Meg, it's Ruth.
Cam literally just told me
she sent Kayla to pick you up.
It must be so weird
seeing her after all this time.
I really hope you're okay.
I can't wait to see you.
Love you!
To replay
the message, key...
As you exhale,
letting go of the past.
Hearing your own voice,
repeating to yourself...
- It wasn't...
- I am grounded.
I am safe.
It wasn't my idea,
not to tell you.
Well, I wanted to tell you,
but Lizzie reckoned
you wouldn't come
if you knew I was coming.
By the way, she's gone
full Bridezilla.
Like, 'rarr'.
I am sorry.
About not telling you.
That's fine.
It doesn't have to be awkward,
or whatever.
So, how are things?
It's okay.
Just some big nuts.
That's what she said.
Fucking hell!
Fucking hell.
You already said that.
Are you gonna kill me then
or what?
Safe to come in for a hug?
God, it's good to see you.
I... you can say it.
I'm a crappy friend.
How's the blushing bride doing?
She's good.
Driving us all
fucking crazy, but...
-Here she is!
-Oh my god!
Oh, look...
Oh my god, look at you!
You look amazing!
And oh my God, your face is...
How's life in L.A.?
How's Dom?
Okay. It's fine, yeah.
It's dandy.
And, er, Dom, yeah...
er, shitting himself
about the wedding.
I still can't believe he didn't
let me help with his speech.
-Thank fuck for small mercies,
-Okay. Well...
all we need now is Ruth
and then the
Fan-fucking-tastic Five
are back together again,
at last!
Shall we, yes?
Beep beep!
V.I. motherfucking P.
coming through!
Meg, oh my god!
Thank goodness you're here.
These two have been ganging up
on me, as per usual.
Are you gonna slow that thing
down or what?
Why not?
How are you?
Nuh-uh. Nope! Nuh-uh.
No psychologising.
Not today, Satan!
This is a vacation, remember?
I'm okay!
Excuse me, sorry...
It is my actual wedding.
Vacation slash party
slash wedding. Whatever.
Alright ladies...
Let's Fast and Furious
the shit out of this place!
I get it, that you needed
some time.
You couldn't be around her.
Enjoy it, okay?
And it turns out that having
an annoying little sister
does have one benefit.
Just the one, mind you.
Fuck off, Dominic!
I love you too, Camilla!
But no, no, seriously,
I'll be forever grateful to Cam
for introducing me to the most
incredible woman.
The kindest, sweetest, loveliest
person in the world,
my Lizzie.
And in approximately
42 hours and 37 minutes,
I'll be honoured to become
your husband.
To Lizzie!
To Lizzie!
Love you.
I thought there'd be
a lot more people here.
Like, a lot more.
Lizzie wanted to keep it small.
And my folks were not happy,
let me tell you.
I'm surprised Dom had the balls
to stand up to them
for once in his life.
I can't believe Lizzie's mum
didn't even come.
We're her family.
You sound like
the fucking mafia.
I would be great in the mafia.
Er, top's on.
Your top's on.
I think you're allowed
to get drunk on your hen night.
Oh ho!
Come on! Come on!
Bah, bah, bah...
Wakey wakey, Meg!
It's time to rise
and fucking shine!
We're kidnapping Lizzie today.
-Kidnapping Lizzie.
One last day with just
the five of us,
-before she enters a lifetime...
-How did you even get in here?
I know people who know people.
Now get a move on!
We're on a schedule here!
This is gonna be epic...
This is gonna be epic!
Ba na na na, nah, nah...
Look at it, lovely.
That one must be ours.
It's got an ice bucket.
Oh God, I could go for a bit
of champagne right now.
Or hair of the dog, as they say.
I'll bet there'll be
a chef on board.
- Do you think?
- Of course.
These boats have everything.
- Yeah, it must be that.
- Or maybe it's that one?
That's a nice shiny one.
Ta da!
Are you serious?
It's cool, right?
I was expecting
something bigger.
Okay, first of all,
size isn't everything.
Just kidding.
And second of all,
this is supposed to be
an adventure,
and you can't have
a proper adventure
on a fancy pants luxury yacht.
Everybody knows that.
Besides, this is the only one
I was able to borrow, so...
Where are we going then?
Watch your step!
I'm the king of the world! Wooo!
Just a heads-up,
if we're going full
Titanic here,
there's no fucking way
I'm going down with the ship.
Don't fret, m'lady.
You're in first class,
so you definitely get a seat
on the lifeboat.
This lot are fish food though.
Uh, hey!
You are officially entering
a no phone zone.
Er, no. I'm not doing that.
Phone. Bag. Now.
No. Cam, what if there's
some sort of emergency?
What if there's
a wedding emergency?
What if the Himalayan rock salt
isn't the exact shade of pink
you asked for?
Er, fuck you.
And I've already checked
that anyway, so...
Look, it might be good for you
to disconnect for a few hours.
You are always on
your fucking phone!
Lizzie, my friend,
you need to connect with us,
on this, our very last
day together.
I'm getting married, Cam.
I'm not dying.
Just give her your phone.
Go on...
So, anyway,
I told Dom that we're going
on a spa day
and he said that he wanted
to come with us.
So instead I told him I was
having a colon cleanse.
Or... you just got his hopes up
about the wedding night.
What do you mean?
Urgh! No!
No! Oh my god, no!
Look, do not knock it until
you've tried it, okay?
Ah, okay.
Cam? Can you slow
down a bit, please?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, okay.
Thank God we're here!
Oh, wow.
How do you even know
about this place?
Who did you shag?
I resent the implication!
The assistant manager.
This is perfect.
What are you waiting for, Meg?
Er, what the hell, guys?
-Yeah, okay. Ha ha. Very funny.
So, we're gonna leave
you guys alone for a bit
so you can... talk.
Are you joking?
You're stranding us
on a fucking desert island?
We're just heading around
those trees over there.
Apparently there's a reef with
crazy fish and eels and shit.
Yeah, you can join us
in maybe an hour. Minimum.
But we haven't got our phones!
Just guess.
Anyway, I don't wanna see
your faces,
as gorgeous as they are,
until you've talked
things through.
Don't look at me
like that.
Love you guys!
Just chill. It's not a big deal.
It's none of their business.
Let's just sit
and wait here a bit,
otherwise you know
what Cam's like.
She'll never let it go.
She's like a dog with a bone.
Dog with a boner.
You can sit.
If you want.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
Do you think it was a bad idea?
It was a fucking great idea.
Some people need a little nudge.
We'll just have to wait and see,
won't we?
Come on.
Let's go.
Wah! How badass do I look?
I must admit,
you do in fact look
somewhat badass.
Woo! Woo!
Work it! Work it, girl!
I can't do it.
I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry for everything.
I can't see her.
I can't see Cam.
Oh, thank God.
What are you gawping at?
I thought you'd managed
to drown yourself!
As if I would do that the day
before Lizzie's wedding.
I don't blame you.
Not anymore.
We were, er...
I was unlucky.
Unlucky? You nearly died.
Can we just tallk about
something else?
Like, literally...
anything else.
How are things with you?
Erm... dunno.
Not much to tell.
I think Vera misses you.
It's true.
She's gone all... droopy.
You've probably been watering
her too much.
God, I've drowned her,
haven't I?
Just as well we never got
that kitten, eh?
I could maybe cope
with a goldfish though.
Seriously though,
that coral was fucked.
It doesn't look anything
like the photos.
There was so much trash.
Zero fish.
Except that big goofy bastard.
Oh, Cam! You do realise
that climate change
and overfishing is completely
destroying the oceans.
- And now we have to be...
- My darling Ruth,
I love you to the moon and back,
but seriously, could you be
any more boring?
Oops. Silly me.
Clumsy as well as boring.
Oh my God! Cam, look!
Holy shit! Lizzie, heads up!
This is so mean.
They deserve it.
I've missed holding your hand.
Thank God. I told you
it was a good idea.
So, how do you feel
about a double wedding?
-Told ya! Fuck yeah!
Woo! Double wedding!
Double wedding!
Dance break!
- Wow.
- Woo!
That's um...
Yeah, we just thought we could,
you know
tag it onto the end
of your ceremony.
If it's not too much trouble.
Yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah.
Wow. Wow!
How wonderful.
I mean, I'll, erm,
I'll talk to Dom as soon
as we get back.
- Erm...
- Woo! Work it baby!
- Gosh...
- Yeah. That's it!
Reach for the
Climb every mountain
Woo, woo! Just watch...
Oh, my gosh. You always get
that bit wrong, eh?
Like this. So...
Reach for the... just watch!
Just watch, okay? Seriously.
Reach for the...
What is it?
I'm fine.
It must have just been a...
What's wrong?
Ruth, what's going on?
Seriously, guys...
-Jesus Christ.
-Oh my god.
Look at her fucking leg!
Here you go, here you go.
Oh my god!
Oh my god,
look at her leg! Fuck!
Look at her...
Oh my god! What...
Shut up! I just need
to concentrate.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. There.
Oh my god.
What are we gonna do?
What do you think...
what do you think did this?
What do you think could
have done this?
Well, it wasn't fucking
Nemo, was it?
It was a shark.
Wasn't it?
It was a fucking shark!
You brought us to
shark-infested waters
the day before my wedding!
We need something
to stop the bleeding.
Lizzie, your scarf.
No, no, no, no, no.
Eyes on me. Eyes on me, okay?
I have to do...
I've got the marathon.
And I bought new trainers.
I like orange.
Shock, maybe?
We need to call someone.
Have an ambulance
waiting at the dock.
Use my phone. Call Dom.
Okay, erm...
Okay, erm...
A sh... a shark?
Pretty badass, huh?
Totally badass. It'll make
a great story in the pub.
Okay, er...
There's no signal.
Ready? Okay?
How is she?
She needs a doctor, like, now.
I can't...
I don't know what else to do.
-You're doing your best.
-Yeah, well, my best
isn't fucking good enough,
is it?
-Never is.
-Don't start.
Wait till my dad hears about it.
He'll have a fucking field day.
Let's just focus, okay?
Focus on what?
The fact that Ruth is dying?
Slow down!
Stop the boat!
Oh shit!
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no...
Are we gonna fucking sink?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We need to stop it.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to. I was just...
I was just trying to help.
It's fine now, it's alright.
Is it?
Oh shit!
I can't stop it.
It's alright though?
Someone'll come, soon. Right?
Someone'll come... soon.
Someone could come.
We haven't even seen
another boat.
We're in the middle
of fucking nowhere.
All because you had
to be different, didn't you?
We couldn't go on the hotel boat
with the tourists. No!
That would be boring.
Well, fuck me Cam, you're right!
None of us are bored now.
This is just fucking perfect!
Have you finished?
Life jackets?
Ruth, look at me.
Keep her leg up.
There's got to be more.
There isn't.
I don't get it.
There should be more!
Yeah, well, maybe you
should have checked that
before we set off, Captain!
I didn't think that we were...
You never do.
Give it to me.
Help me out of here.
And keep the phone dry.
Still no signal.
Are we nearly there yet?
We're nearly there.
We're nearly there.
It's okay. Dom will come.
Dom will come.
It's okay...
We need to keep her leg
out of the water,
just in case.
Okay, between the four of us,
we're gonna be fine.
But we do need to be ready
because we don't have much time.
Okay, yeah. We've got this.
We can do this. Right?
Yeah. Course we can.
Lizzie? Lizzie!
I know it's really scary
but I need you to snap
out of it, okay?
Lizzie! We can't do this
without you.
Lizzie, we need you!
For fuck's sake!
Get a fucking grip!
Don't make me come
over there and...
Why should she get a free pass
to Panicsville?
We're all in the same fucking
boat here, okay?
Lizzie! Are you even
listening to me?
I don't know what you're saying.
I can't swim.
We're so fucked.
I mean, we were fucked before,
but now we're well and truly,
spectacularly fucked.
I mean, I did learn a little
when I was young, but...
I almost drowned.
But you didn't drown, did you?
You're still here.
You can do this. You can.
It's not even swimming.
We'll just be treading water.
Lizzie, look at me.
You've got this.
Cam, give me your knife.
Treading water's a piece
of piss, Lizzie.
It's like...
it's like riding a bike.
Except in water.
And the bike's... invisible.
Exactly. Just keep
a hold of that, okay?
Agh, come on!
Ugh... uh...
Hold onto me.
Just... try to relax!
You relax!
Stop that! I can't...
Get off her! Meg!
I'm sorry!
Do that again and
I'll drown you myself.
It's okay.
How's she doing?
She... she doesn't look great.
Let me check her pulse.
I can't...
Wait, there it is.
I can feel it.
I can definitely feel it.
It's faint though.
Lizzie, you can't...
You need to focus, okay?
Just keep kicking
like I showed you.
And no more freaking out!
Why would I be freaking out...
when my friend has got
a hole in her leg...
the size... of a massive hole!
And we're stuck in the middle
of the ocean
and I can't swim!
Phone's dead.
Cam, what?
-What is it?
I can't see anything!
Cam? Cam!
Cam! Cam, what's wrong?
Cramp! Fucking cramp!
I don't know if I can do this
much longer.
Lizzie, you can.
You can do this.
You're doing really well.
I'm just not strong enough.
Fucking bullshit diet.
I told you,
diets are for losers.
I just wanted to look nice
for the photos.
You will, Lizzie.
You'll look beautiful.
Yeah, so will you.
Double wedding, remember?
Er, Lizzie,
we were messing with you.
We're not back together.
-I'm sorry.
-That's not funny.
I'm sorry.
It's your big day, Lizzie.
Limelight's all yours.
Hey! Hey!
-You kicked me!
-No, I didn't!
-Yeah, you did.
No, I really, really didn't.
Yeah? Well, then what the...
- Shit.
- Don't call me a shit!
I didn't kick ya!
Oh, I see what you're doing.
You're trying to distract me.
What kind of shark is that?
-A bitey one?
-How should I know?
I'm not the fucking
shark whisperer!
It's okay.
It might just be curious.
Me and my dad used to watch
shark documentaries together,
and it might just be
investigating. It's a thing.
Yeah, well, it can fuck off
and be curious somewhere else!
Well, it won't.
Not with all this blood
in the water.
The knife. Cam, the knife!
Oh, Kayla... Kayla, can you...
Er, right.
That bastard comes
anywhere near us
and I'm stabbing the ever-loving
shit out of him.
Look, see?
Just curious.
But if it does come back again,
you need to punch
him in the nose,
or in the eyes,
or the gills, okay?
My dad always wanted
us to be prepared.
Prepared for a shark attack
in Manchester?
He just thought with
global warming,
it was only a matter of time.
Just wait until Ruth
hears about this.
One shark is unlucky,
but two is just plain careless.
That's a terrible Ruth
impression. She's more like...
This can't be real.
This can't be happening.
I'm getting married tomorrow.
Ruth is my bridesmaid!
We need to get rid of the body.
Are you kidding me? The body?
Excuse me if I'm having trouble
dealing with the fact
that Ruth is fucking dead.
Doesn't sound like you're
having much trouble.
Shut up!
Shut up!
No, Cam's right.
I'm so sorry, Ruth.
I'm so sorry.
How far are we from land?
It's that way, north.
But I don't know how far.
Well, we can't just do nothing.
What else can we do?
-No, please. I can't.
-Don't make me.
-No, not you, Lizzie.
Not you.
But someone needs to swim
for help.
Anyone got any better ideas?
I'll go.
-No, I'll go.
No, no. You can't.
I need you.
So you guys are perfectly
fine with me going? Cool.
-I'll do it.
-No. I'll go.
- I'm the stronger swimmer.
- Seriously?
Yeah. Look, we haven't got time
for a debate.
I really don't think that that's
a good idea...
Just as well it's not up
to you then, isn't it?
Anyone wanna sponsor me?
Are you sure you're up for this?
Course I am.
I'm Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman is about right.
You mad bitch.
Okay then.
Look after these idiots,
will you?
I'll be back before you know it.
I just, I need you
to know that I...
Tell me later.
-But what if...?
No what ifs.
This isn't a question mark...
or a full stop.
It's a dot dot dot.
Okay then.
I'll see you guys in a bit.
And then there were three.
I need a wee.
Do you think it'll
attract more sharks?
You're the expert.
Do sharks particularly enjoy
a golden shower?
Oh, I don't know. Erm...
Oh, you're joking.
Go ahead and pee.
I already did.
Don't look at me!
I can't do it if you're
looking at me!
What time is it?
I have a massage at four.
And then it was manicure
and pedicure at five.
And then it was drinks
on the terrace at seven.
And dinner with your folks
at eight.
This is all wrong.
I'm sorry, Lizzie.
Yeah, you should be!
None of this would have happened
if it wasn't for you!
Okay, you were the one who
decided not to tell Meg
that Kayla was coming
to the wedding.
And it was Ruth's idea to get
them to talk. I just got a...
What, insisted that we took
a shitty rust-bucket of a boat
to a desert island
in the middle of nowhere,
miles from anywhere!
If I'd have thought
for a second...
Yeah, you didn't think.
Kayla was right. You never do.
As if I haven't heard that every
day of my life. Fuck off!
I'm supposed to be getting
married tomorrow!
It's not fair!
Can you hear yourself?
Poor little Lizzie,
always a victim.
Look around you!
Ruth is fucking dead
and Kayla's...
Kayla's out there.
We should never
have let her go.
-What if she doesn't make it?
She should have told Meg
how she feels.
You'd better shut your mouth.
Why does it matter?
We're probably gonna die
out here anyway.
Meg deserves to know...
Meg! Meg!
She deserves to know the truth!
She was going to propose.
She had it all planned out,
the night of the attack.
She bought a gorgeous ring.
But then Dom went
and stole her thunder
and what happened happened
and you guys broke up.
I'm sorry we didn't tell you.
I thought you two would talk
it over on the beach.
That you'd make up.
That's why we left you there.
We were trying to help.
That's why we planned the whole
boat trip in the first place.
I need to talk to her.
Stop, Meg, what are you...
- Meg! Meg!
- Come on, Meg!
- Meg, come on!
-Do something!
What do you want me to do?
I don't know. Go after her!
Fuck! God damn it!
Shark! Come over here!
Shark! Hey!
Come over here!
Oh god! Hey!
I'm over here!
Uh, uh...
Over here!
We need to stop the bleeding.
I can't stay with you.
Cam, please, I can't...
Yeah, you can.
You always could.
Come on then, you bastard.
Ugh! Ugh...
Ugh! Ugh!
She's... she's gone. She's gone.
She's gone.
Oh god...
I tried to make it come for me.
It was coming straight
for me and...
I don't understand
what happened.
It was all so fast, and...
I didn't mean any of those
things that I said to her.
I didn't mean any of them.
Oh god, I was just
scared and angry.
Fuck, why can't I keep
my mouth shut?
Lizzie! There's no point...
It doesn't matter.
None of it matters.
Cam's dead.
-I know. I know.
It was an amazing thing
you did back there.
I can't believe you did that.
I just...
I just thought,
what would Cam do?
We should...
At least try to.
No, we best stay put.
So they know where to find us.
Won't be long now.
We just need to hold on.
Won't be long now.
Didn't I tell you Dom got us
a boat for the honeymoon?
No, it's a yacht.
He gets annoyed
when I call it a boat.
He knows you can't
really swim, right?
I was just planning on sitting
on the deck,
sipping champagne and looking
all sexy and shit.
It wasn't my first choice
for a honeymoon,
but he's...
he's just so excited about it.
There is a difference,
Er, maybe yachts are
for rich people
and boats for normal people?
I don't know.
I should look into it.
Oh my god...
Oh my god! A boat!
Oh, Kayla...
She did it?
She actually did it! Oh!
Help... Help!
-Help! Help!
-Over here! Over here!
Hey, over here! Over here!
Over here!
Aargh! Come back!
Come back!
Come back!
Come back over here!
Come back over,
you rich bastards!
Aargh! Aargh!
Lizzie. Lizzie, stop.
She didn't want you to feel
sorry for her.
She's never forgiven herself
for that night.
Ugh! Uh...
Sea bass.
-Sea bass.
It's the main course
for tomorrow.
Sea bass.
There's tiger prawns for starter
and sea bass for main course.
Never thought I'd have tiger
prawns at my wedding.
Always thought it'd be...
scotch eggs and sausage rolls
at the village hall.
I shouldn't be here.
None of us should be here.
-It's all my fault.
-No, it's not.
This is just...
It's seriously fucking terrible
luck is what it is.
But if I hadn't,
if I hadn't decided...
Sea bass.
Tell me more about the sea bass.
Tell me more, come on.
I want to know.
How's it cooked?
Erm... sauted.
Skin's all golden and crispy.
We tried the whole menu
the other day.
I swear to God...
that fish was the best thing
I've ever put in my mouth.
-That's what she said.
-That's what she said.
-Meg, wake up! Wake up!
Did you hear that?
I think there's gonna
be a storm.
Oh, okay.
Oh! Oh fuck, I felt something.
Did you feel something?
No, it was me.
Just checking I've still got
both my legs.
Oh fuck!
Thanks for the heart attack.
You're welcome.
If we get struck
by lightning,
I'm gonna be fucking furious!
Stop that!
Stop what?
Stop trying to make me laugh.
- Lizzie, the buoy...
Grab it, quick!
I can't reach!
I'm sorry.
Meg, don't fall asleep.
You need to stay afloat. Meg!
Yeah, I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Just checking to make sure
you were paying attention.
You're exhausted.
You've been treading water
all day.
You, you should take
the life jacket now.
I'm feeling stronger.
You can't even swim.
I'm so sorry this is happening.
After everything
you've been through.
It's all my fault.
It'll be okay though.
I've got you, Meg.
I've got you.
You're gonna be fine.
I've got you, Meg.
Oh, fuck...
Of course.
Of course.
Hungry, are you?
Tell me about it.
Fuck off!
Like blood, do you?
Oh shit, the tide.
The fucking tide!
Oh brilliant, you brought
a friend!
Come on.
Quick, take me...
Come on!
Oh! Oh!
I've got you, I've got you.
You came back.
I told you, didn't I?
Dot dot dot.
The others...?
I think we should...
Let's go home.