Son of the Pink Panther (1993) Movie Script
- Is the orchestra tuning?
- 15 seconds.
She's good.
Good, huh?
Yes, she's good.
As good as you?
Maybe.
Haha. Better.
She was only showing how good she is.
I know how good she is.
Or she wouldn't be with us.
Now, there's to be no fighting
amongst us. Understood?
Here they come.
I wish you wouldn't smoke.
I should never have ever sent to America.
They've got such appalling habits.
- As if no one smoked in Lugash.
- That's different.
Umm, of course. And there's nothing
wrong with America, Father.
- My mother was American.
- Your mother never smoked.
I'm surprised that you noticed.
She wasn't dead 3 weeks three weeks
before you married that... woman.
You'll be on doubt pleased to know,
I am about to pay the price for that folly.
- So the rumor's true?
- Yes it would seem so.
Yasmin, please, keep it to yourself.
I don't want to alert your Stepmother
until I have proof.
Card.
- Praise Allah that someone
in this family is lucky.
Huh.
- Cash this in.
- How did you know I can be trusted?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were one of my bodyguards.
It's alright...
What's the going rate on a slap these days?
You're cheap.
Thank you Sir.
I must apologize for my daughter.
She's a very high spirited girl.
Look, a flare.
- Yasmin, go to your cabin.
- Wait a minute. - Now
Gentlemen...
- Haven't we met before?
- Not formally.
Be a nice little princess and go to sleep.
Hi, Dad.
To save your daughter,
you must do two things.
First $ 100 million to be deposited
into a Swiss bank account.
- No problem.
- Second: You abdicate.
Renounce the throne?
That is impossible.
Then Yasmin will die.
Who will succeed me?
All in good time.
What a shame, I enjoyed your
company at the table.
And I yours.
Hey, stop. I said stop.
I haven't time to deal with
some bumpkin cop, lose him.
I said stop.
Can you hear me?
I think we lost him.
Yeah.
Look out!
- Are you alright?
- Yes. - No.
- One of my passengers is injured.
- No wonder, the way you drive it's a
wonder they're not all dead.
- They way I drive? - Yes.
- Could we please settle this at the hospital?
No. I'm Police Commissioner Dreyfus, and
I demand to see your driving license.
As you wish.
Ahh!... That felt good.
Now then. Is anyone hurt?
- Yes, in the van.
- My sister is unconscious.
- She is?
- She should be taken to the hospital.
- Where is she?
In the van.
- Excuse me, your sister is in his van?
- No.
- That's not my van.
- Look, I'm Commissioner Dreyfus, if you will allow me...
- Excuse me. Just a moment, just a moment.
When.. Excuse me, when I asked you if anyone was hurt,
you replied: Yes, in my van.
No, no, I said: Yes, in the
van, not in my van.
No, no, you did not say: Yes in the van. Not yes in the van.
- You said: Yes. You do not say: Yes, my van. Not yes the van.
- Look... - You said yes my van, not yes in the van
- Did you hear what I just said?
- Yes, I heard.
- It's my van.
- Now we're getting somewhere.
- Listen, you imbecile...
- Wait sir, I am an Officer of the "Lour".
- I said-
- I know what you said. I am an Officer of the "Lour".
Please, my sister may be dying.
Please stand back, stand back.
- Have you been hunting?
- Yes. Hunting. Very perceptive.
Who are you?
I am Gendarme Jacques
Gambrelli, 2nd Class.
- Who are you?
- I am...
Your sister is very...
Very unconscious
I suspect that she has received
a "burmp" on the head.
- A bump.
- What?
Never mind. Come, Franois.
She requires immediately the emergency treatment, Mr..? er...
- Jones.
- Take her quickly to the Nice hospital, Mr. Jones.
And I will phone ahead to find out...
Mr. Jones, please stop. Mr Jones, my hand, my finger.
Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones please stop, Mr. Jones...
I have no time now for you to show me your
credentials. Do not drive off...
But I have an idea. You shall drive me,
you shall drive me to the nearest phone...
Sorry we are late, but we've had a car accident.
- Nothing too serious, I trust?
- We are lucky to be alive.
Be seated.
Now Chief, listen. Normally investigation of crimes
committed in French territorial waters is your responsibility.
But as this kidnapping is politically so important
to the Government,
The president has ordered me to
personally take charge of the case.
Understand, he does not think that you are
less qualified for this than I, but...
- Maybe I think...
- More qualified.
- So. What are your orders?
- First i want to know everything that is known about the case.
- This is everything we have to date.
- Oh, good.
- Then I'll want your best man to liaison.
- That will be Gambrelli.
I'll study the report tonight, and I'll
see you here in the morning at 9:00 o'clock.
Oh, by the way, there was a
police officer at the accident.
How shall I... he had an odd way of speaking.
- Mispronouncing words.
- No.
- He crashed his bicycle into our car.
- Doesn't ring a bell.
Perhaps it's not that important.
See you in the morning.
- A fine room for Your Highness.
- I want water.
- Can you get me water now?
- Yes, Of course.
- Take your clothes off.
- No.
- Take your clothes off!
- No.
Let go. Get you hands off me.
What about the Cop?
The longer we wait...
He'll probably show up at the hospital.
Arnon.
Try to make it look like an accident.
- What makes you think they'll show up?
- It's just a hunch.
Look.
- It wont be long.
- Why not?
Because something there's something phoney about Mr. Jones...
and those hunters with their automatic weapons.
Then Mr. Jones just wanted to get out of there...
I don't believe he had any intention of
take his sister to the hospital.
It it looks like you might be right.
- What is he doing?
- What does it look like he's doing?
- Has he drowned?
- He can't. Not yet.
What am I doing?
I can't swim, help, help.
- What's wrong?
- I can't swim.
Neither can I.
- Then why aren't you drowning?.
- Because you see, there's sand... yes, sand.
- What? - Stand. - Ha ha ha!
- Who are you?
- Gendarme 2nd class Jacques Gambrelli.
- Who are you?
- Commissioner Dreyfus. Police.
Come on, Gambrelli. I'll give you a lift home.
But why would the man in the
van want to kill me?
Maybe it has something to do with the unconscious girl.
You had a good look at her, didn't you?.
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes of starry skies...
Very Poetic.
- Yes, "Lurd" Byron.
- "Lurd".
Thank you for the lift
Commissioner, good night.
Wait here.
- Do you live here alone Gambrelli?
- Oh no, I live with my mother.
- I... I'd like to meet your mother.
- Why not, everyone wants to meet my mother.
Oh, gee, this is Police Commissioner
Dreyfus, he wants to meet you.
How do you do, Mrs. Gambrelli?
- I hope it's not too late?
- No no, please, come in Commissioner.
I'm sorry, I must explain.
- I'm sorry, I must explain. I'm... i'm a bit wet.
- Please be seated. - Thanks.
I am... I am just going upstairs to change my clothes.
- Do you speak Italian Commissioner?
- No, not really.
- Darling.
- Yes.
Speak Italian.
Yes.
How do you know this man?
He gave me a lift in his car.
Why do you so upset?
The world is full of strange crazy people.
Now, bring the Commissioner down one of your robes.
Make it quick!
He's just like his father.
- Would you care to join me in the kitchen?
- I would indeed.
It's refreshing to hear some
good singing for a change.
Jacques loves opera.
- Are you musically inclined, Madame?
- No.
- Was his father?
- He played the French horn.
That probably accounts for it.
Why did you name him Jacques?
- Why not, is a beautiful French name.
- Yes, but you're Italian.
I knew a man once named Jacques.
When he died ten years ago I said:
Thank God, there can never,
never be another one like him.
And then, I met your son.
So I decided he would be better
of if he never knew.
- You mean his father is...
- Clouseau.
No, never.
Oh, Commissioner.
Your Highness? Yasmin?
I have a... a little snacky for you.
Under different circumstances
we could have had such fun.
What happened?
Make sure she doesn't get out again.
We need to get you a doctor.
- How are you?
- Terrible.
- No doubt that was a "Burmb".
- A what?
- A bomb.
- A bo..
You need to rest, Charles.
- How do you know my first name?
- You told me in the ambulance.
Strange, I don't remember.
But I remember you.
You said: My name is Charlie
Dreyfus and I'm going to be a policeman.
I used to say that as a child.
I must have been delirious.
- No, you were very sweet.
- I was?
What's this? What's this?
Something's happened.
Stop it!
- Give it to me!
- Stop it...
Something terrible has happening.
- Now don't play with it again.
- Thank you nurse.
No no no, you should relax now.
No, I can't relax.
I have to tell him something.
- What's his name, your son? Jacques. Listen Jacques,
I'm wanting to tell you, you are in great danger.
- I am?
- Franois, where is the chief's report? - Ah. Here.
There. You remember the unconscious girl you saw in the van?
Oh. How could I ever forget her?
"Beauty, too rich for use, for earth too dear"...
- Jacques loves poetry.
- Yes, I know, I want you to look at this photograph.
My God, but it is she, how did you know?
- Just a hunch.
- A what?.
- Who is she, what is she doing in this photograph?
- She is Princess Yasmin.
A Princess? Kidnapped? Mama is she not beautiful?
Not bad for a princess.
Evening Commissioner. At ease Gambrelli.
I'm glad to see that you are not hurt, Madame.
Thank you Chief.
- And I'm particularly happy that you're still with us Commissioner.
- Oh, I'm sure you must be.
And I'm particularly happy that you
you assigned me Officer Gambrelli.
Really?
Without him I might not have discovered that the
Princess was being held here in the south of France.
- I will put a general alarm immediately.
- You will do nothing of the kind until I give the word.
Meanwhile, Officer Gambrelli's
mother needs a safe place to stay, so...
Since I'm going be here a while so
she can have my suite at the hotel.
Oh, but I can't.
You must, please.
Whatever they need Franois.
Around the clock protection Chief.
God bless you.
Come on.
Get out!
Wait, I... I just remembered something
that I forgot to say to the Commissioner.
I will bring the car around.
No no no, if it's not much trouble
I'd rather you take my Mother to
the hotel and then come back for me.
You go that way.
Sorry, sorry.
- Why don't you just ask for a doctor.
- Don't worry we'll find one.
If you are looking for a
Doctor, I am very good doctor.
I'll be in Surgery.
Ambulance.
- Yes? - Are you are a Doctor?
- Yes, I am a very good doctor.
- Then would you mind coming with us, please?
- Oh, It would be a delight.
You are looking as beautiful as ever.
And you still look as elegant and handsome.
We haven't been in this place here together, how long?
Ten years?
Minimum.
You wanted to see me. Why?
I thought I should give you my support.
That's very considerate of you.
I beleive one of the ransom conditions
is that you have to give your throne.
Yes.
Will you do that?
It's possible. As long as my successor is not an Army man.
Well, I'm sure it wont.
I wont forget that.
Obviously he doesn't have
much faith in the military.
People have been saying that he knows that
we're sleeping together.
- Do you think that is all that he knows?
- Hmmm.
Or right now, you would be soup for my supper.
- Yes?
- It's the doctor.
Finally. Come in, Doctor.
Good evening.
What? What seems to be the problem?
You have received the blemish in your arm, eh?.
I beleive it may require some stitches.
- What do you think?
- Ohh!
Oh yes, I think you need to do something
to keep you from fainting, yes.
You must take deep breaths, like this.
See? Then you don't faint, but deep, very, very deep.
- What happened?
- You hyper-ventilated.
I did? Where?
- You fainted.
- Oh, That I know.
Well, are you going to stitch up my arm or not?
Of course, I am going to stitch up.. Phew!.. Up your arm...
But first I must check...
if you are physically fit.
Fit as a fiddle. Very good.
And now...
...must check your reflexes.
Reflexes of a fiddle.
Very good. And now...
It must be somewhere.
This is very good. Do you know
what is this? Very good.
My dentist uses this.
He pulls my WIS.. wisdom tooth
and I didn't even feel it.
- Novocain.
- No. No, no.
Dentist, his name is Fishburne.
Dr. Marvin Fishburne.
I highly recommend him, seriously.
I think I stabbed myself in the cheek.
Now, before I can stitch up your arm...
I must inject you.
Hold still. Hold... hold still.
Hold still.
Very good.
Good.
Now, Ok, it's, it's, it's getting very late.
And I think...
I get back to... the the Hospital and surgery.
I am very important.
Bye-bye.
On second thought, I am in no condition to operate.
Better that I stay here, with you.
If you need me, I am here, with you.
I'm here, now just relax...
We've run into a slight complication...
It makes it impractical for us to stay here any longer.
Yeah, yeah. If all goes well,
We will be in Darfur by tomorrow afternoon.
"But, sof... soft"
"What light through yonder window breaks?"...
"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun"
Romeo?
Er, no.. Hic.. Jacques.
- You know what they say?
- No.
"A rose by any name"...
"Would smell as sweet"
What are you doing here sweetie?
I came to rescue... hic... rescue you.
- Hold your breath.
- My breath?
- Longer. - I can't.
- Ohhh...
I'll help. Try again, look.
It's no use.
There is one other way.
A little extreme but it always works.
- Hello?
- Did I wake you?
No.
- Are you alone?
- No, I am in bed with a beautiful woman.
Do not lie. Not even in fun.
I just spoke to our friend in France. Something's
come up, and he plans to visit uncle Idris.
- So?
- Evidently, he had no alternative.
Rumor has it that the king return
back to town tomorrow.
Right. This place is getting
a little to close to Uncle Idris for comfort.
- Will I see you tomorrow?
- Of course.
Your hiccups are gone.
Incredible. How did you discover that?
I was engaged to a football player
when I went to college in the U.S..
He always had the hiccups.
Who could blame him.
How about you?
- I've never had hiccups. - Never?
- But if I ever do, then...
I hope to you find in the neighbourhood.
I'll consider it an honor
and a privilege to be of assistance.
- How long have you been a policeman, Officer Gambrelli?
- Oh. Three years next May.
How long have you been Princess, Your Highness?
- All my life.
- That's a long time to be anything.
- Do you like being a cop?
- Yes sometimes. How is it being a princess?
- It's not much fun.
- Oh, the fun is important.
What else is important to you?
- Oh... Singing.
- Yes...
That... is terrible.
Yes, and poetry.
Parents of golden dreams,
the romance of the Queen's joy
The airy dance
That's Byron.
And the rain.
And sleeping. And my mother.
- Do you like your mother?
- Yes, very much, yes. And women.
What kind of women?
All kinds. Especially
dark women with blue eyes...
and full red lips, who smell like night-blooming jasmine
and taste like warm mango.
Warm mango?
And honey.
- Oh my God.
- Mine too... hic...
Playing Doctor?
We're going on a little trip. And I think you'll
be much more comfortable asleep throughout the journey.
Touch her and you'll answer to me.
- There'll be nothing left of him when that goes off.
- He's coming out of it.
Come.
You're driving too fast.
- Ahh... Mama.
- Jacques, I was so worried.
The Princess. They have taken the Princess!
- Please, Jacques.
- I have to stop them.
- You're not supposed to get up.
- I must. I must tell the Commissioner about Uncle Idris.
I will tell the Commissioner about Uncle Idris?
Who is the uncle Idris?
I don't know.
I remember he is someone, that they were going to
Darfur...
to visit Uncle Idris.
- Just keep quiet.
- Uncle Idris.
- Well?
- They said he was in Room 408.
I'll check.
How is he?
Jacques just wanted to get out of bed come to...
come down here to tell you about a guy called Idris.
He said they were going a place called Darfur.
Darfur? That's in a small military republic called Lugash.
- Charles. - Yes, Maria.
- I'm worried about Jacques.
There, there, if he's anything like his father,
he'll be alright, he'll manage.
But that's the trouble, he's
too much like his father
That's why I disappeared, came here and
encourage him in music and poetry
but in spite of everything he
was determined to be a policeman.
And to protect you, Charles?
- You must know who his father was.
- His father, yes, was an idiot. I mean...
- Yes, but I can not say that.
- Of course not.
Clouseau has always been his hero.
Imagine you've always wanted
be a great fisherman...
and suddenly you discover that
your father was Captain Ahab.
Come here. Tell me...
- You and Clouseau...
- I was very young.
I know I still don't understand.
You, such a beautiful woman.
We were caught in a snowstorm,
I knew that if we didn't do something we would die.
He said that the Alaskan Indians
keep from freezing to death by making love.
I was young, I wanted to live.
Do I hope you are not offended?
No. It's just too bad you didn't have a stationary bike
or a rowing machine or something.
- So, I never would have had Jacques.
- Exactly, no no.
I was a little brusque.
Tell me, don't you think it's best if
you told him about his father now?
Probably let him find out for himself later on.
Yes, actually you're right.
Oh, Chief, you look a bit frazzled.
Why not, Officer Gambrelli
pushed me out of the window.
Fortunately I held onto the telephone.
And to make matters worse
Officer Gambrelli wont tell me anything
until he's cleared it with you.
Have you taken charge of this case Commissioner...
But I am chief of police here.
And as long as Officer
Gambrelli is on my force...
I expect him to report to me
without your official permission!
And I always knew you were
a pompous pissant pip... pip...
Commissioner.
- Clouseau, my father.
- Yes.
Why didn't you tell me?
For the same reason I did not tell him.
I thought you would both be better off not knowing.
Your father and I weren't in love.
We had a brief encounter in a blizzard.
Why did you pretend my father was a
Italian French horn player.
Well, for one thing to justify
your interest in music.
Actually, Clouseau played the violin.
Not well, but full of passion.
He made love the way he played violin.
- Why tell me now?
- Because in many ways you are like your father.
Foolhardy, accident prone,
pigheaded, brave...
Accident prone.
I think it's important that you know
the things that kept him alive.
Also all those things that he did not pay
attention too and that cost him his life.
If I should die, I'll encounter the darkness
as a bride and encircle it with my arms.
- Shakespeare.
- Yes.
Excuse me, but you would want to know
Chief Lazar and Commissioner Dreyfus
are both in intensive care.
- Have you told him?
- Yes.
- Gendarme 2nd class Gambrelli
- Yes?
- Looks like you're in charge now.
- Yes. -No.
Time is running out for the princess.
Apart from me and Franois...
Gambrelli officer is the only one
you can identify the kidnappers.
But Charles he has
so little experience.
His father was a patrolman
and became the...
greatest detective in France
without any experience.
If you are a Clouseau, you
can succeed without experience.
- I hope you will now change your name?
- Why?
- You are a Clouseau.
- Yes but Gambrelli is a good name.
Gambrelli.
You can sing it. And you want me to change it?
Sounds nice, your
father saved my life.
Clouseau... OK.
Franois you are to see to it, that Gendarme
2nd Class Jacques Gambrelli be promoted...
to Detective 1st Class Jacques
Clouseau, Junior.
As fast as you can get him
new papers and a passport.
Do not worry Maria, when the kidnappers
hear that a Clouseau is on their trail...
they'll probably surrender without a fight.
Shut up.
Salute.
- Dr. Balls?
- Who wants to know?
Detective Jacques Clouseau,
2nd... 1st Class, Junior.
I spoke with you on the phone earlier...
- Good evening.
- I am Madame balls.
- You do not like him.
- I wouldn't know, I've never met your husband.
- Who said anything about my husband?
- You said I do not look like him.
- I meant your father.
- Well, why didn't you say so, I never met him either.
He is a real Clouseau.
- Detective Clouseau.
- 1st class, Junior.
Of course. Dr. Auguste
Balls, totally at your service.
You must forgive me for having Madame
Balls establish your authenticity.
Many grims and charlatans
these days would use my talents.
When you're a part of the game You can't be too careful.
Now, am I?
Yes.
Happy to see the child of my oldest,
dearest and deadest friend.
And as I always used to think of him,
remember...
If you need a disguise and duty calls,
look no further because you've got balls.
Did you make that up?
No, my genius lies in the art of transfiguration.
My wife is the 'Emily Bront' of the establishment.
Congratulations. I also am a bit of a poet.
You should go see Marta
Parmet's sonnets.
She also makes the most delicious borscht.
Now specifically,
how I can help the child of...
my dearest, my best client?
I need to get into Lugash,
without being recognized.
Certainly.
Marta.
Hey.
Martha, bring me the package
of the sickening beggar, number 2.
Wait here.
That is why you asked me to meet you in the park?
So you could attack me like
you attacked my father?
Yes, I can honestly say that
your father would have been dead many times.
But thanks to my surprise attacks keeping him
on his toes and alert to every danger.
I am available if you are considering hiring me in
the same capacity I once served your father.
Take a fortune cookie.
What does it say?
"You will hire an Oriental
family friend". Amazing.
The plane will arrive on time in Lugash. He will be met
at the airport, where he will be taken to the hotel...
where he will be contacted by one our Agents.
We interrupt this broadcast to give
you an important news flash.
A breaking story out of Nice reveals
that Clouseau may have had a child.
According to an anonymous phone call it's stated
that Gendarme 2nd Class Jacques Gambrelli...
Was in fact 1st Class Detective Jacques
Clouseau of the Nice Police Force.
Charles, have you seen the
morning paper?
Detective Clouseau's Son.
He's being met by a French Agent, posing
as a Limo Driver.
- Mr. Gambrelli?
- Yes. -Me too.
- Mr. Gambrelli.
- Yes.
I have to take you to your hotel room.
There is no need to register.
Go to your room and wait
for a call from Mr. Wasim.
- Who?
- Mr. Wasim.
This way please.
The son of France's greatest detective.
Undoubtedly a gifted police officer in his own right.
Probably new to Lugash.
Then it isn't clear.
- This will change our plans.
- I don't think so.
We have always known that if we were discovered
we risked reprisal from our unstable neighbour.
It may well be that France's greatest detective
can insure us against that discovery.
How he can do that?
By eliminating Uncle Idris or
or least taking credit for it.
At least for the time being, make sure that
Detective Clouseau Junior is well protected.
Your Highness, please, put your legs
around my waist.
- In your dreams.
- As you wish.
You can't take me down, what are you doing?.
Geronimo!
Jumping without a parachute.
Highness stop beating me or I'm going to drop you.
Really? I'm your ticket to paradise.
Mr. Gambrelli room.
For you, it's Mr. Wasim.
Thank you.
Hello?
Meet me in Ohmar's
Oasis at 10 o'clock.
I'll be wearing a red carnation... Argghh...
- Welcome to my home away from home, Your Highness.
- Who are you?
I am Atif Idris Al Sheikh Al Sabah.
You can call me Uncle Idris.
What's wrong with my disguise?
Dr. Ball said it was a totally original creation.
Mr. Gambrelli's room.
It's Commissioner Dreyfus.
Give me the phone.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Where are you?
Hello?
- Yes?
- Hello?
- What happened?
- Hello.
- Commissioner?
- Yes.
I'm sorry to do this, but I want you pack
you bags and catch next plane home.
You've become a politically hot potato.
The French Government can't protect you.
- Then what about the princess?
- Officially she's not your concern any more.
Maybe not officially, but unofficially
she will always be my concern.
I think I'll go with you anyway.
No Cato, one hot potato is too much.
Is it really you? You are...
I'm not wanting to be difficult about it,
but will you give me your autograph?
- What?
- I do not have the pen. Do you have the pen?
- No.
- Anyone have a pen?
You write: To Wafiyyah.
- Yes, but I do not have any paper.
- Not on paper, here.
- There?
- Yes.
To my girlfriend. Hurry.
Hurry, if not finish my dance,
Omar he cut off my nipples.
This not right, "Gambrelli"?
No, Clouseau. I saw your picture. Very beautiful.
Is this Omar?
Music, Mufib.
- Where is the princess?
- Not far away from here. I can take you to her.
- We haven't much time.
- Why? What time is it now?
A quarter past three.
My nose.
With permission. Thanks
They're going to kill you, follow me.
Wafiyyah he's Clouseau.
Pervert.
In here, in the kitchen.
- Come, this way.
- Not until you tell me who you are?
- Colonel Al-Durai, Lugash special services.
I'm here to help you rescue the Princess.
- Where is the Princess?
She's being held in a desert hideout about 20
kilometres north-east of Ksar el Kabir.
What is this? I'm ruined.
It's not fine to be like this, you
will be compensated. Where is your car?
- Over there.
- Everyone, in the car,in the car.
Cato. Cato. Here.
- Where is Gambrelli?
- Hopefully gone to rescue the princess.
- Where are we going?
- To see that he does.
Get out and see what that sign says.
It says, Ksar el Kabir 175 kilometres.
- Is where we're going?
- No, that's where I'm going. Goodbye, Cato.
Get in, Rabbi.
Remember Men, this is a diplomatic intelligence
mission.
Clouseau gets credit for rescuing the Princess.
Good Luck.
- Gentelmen, After you.
- Me? I am not going.
- Me neither.
- That's it. Sergeant, take them out and shoot them.
- I changed my mind.
- Keep me a seat.
- Excuse me, do you know which way is north?
- Yes
Yussa, get her.
Come with me. There is a way out of here.
- That fine, but she's not going with us.
- Don't be foolish, she is our ticket to escape.
Go ahead shoot me.
Oh I will, unless you can stop me.
Let's see.
Here, you need some help.
- Drop it.
- Hello, sailor.
That felt good.
Come with, we'll miss our escape.
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me.
Plant no roses at my
head, no shade to hide my street.
Water the green grass above me with soul
and dewdrops wet
And if thou wilt remember,
and if thous wilt forget.
That's it, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Yesterday morning, Princess Yasmin of Lugash
was rescued from her kidnappers...
...by Detective Inspector 1st Class
Jacques Clouseau Junior,
the son of France's greatest detective.
And so, Detective 1st Class Jacques Clouseau Junior the
latest medical opinion has him reporting well
And his doctors expect him to be back on his feet
in a matter of a few weeks.
- Hi there.
- Hello!
- You're looking better.
- Darling, Charles and I have something to tell you.
- You're getting married.
- How did you know?
Haha, I know because I am a good detective.
Right, Dad?
What are you doing?
Silly boy.
- Oh dear, forgive me.
- Jacqueline? - I'm sorry I'm late Mom.
- Jacqueline! - Yeah! Brother.
- Sister.
- "Mama"?
- Your head is bleeding.
- You have received a "beam".
- "beam"?
Maria.
Oh Charles, I plan to tell you.
I had twins.
Thank you.
You must be very proud.
- Thank you... whaa?
I adore you.
That felt good!
- 15 seconds.
She's good.
Good, huh?
Yes, she's good.
As good as you?
Maybe.
Haha. Better.
She was only showing how good she is.
I know how good she is.
Or she wouldn't be with us.
Now, there's to be no fighting
amongst us. Understood?
Here they come.
I wish you wouldn't smoke.
I should never have ever sent to America.
They've got such appalling habits.
- As if no one smoked in Lugash.
- That's different.
Umm, of course. And there's nothing
wrong with America, Father.
- My mother was American.
- Your mother never smoked.
I'm surprised that you noticed.
She wasn't dead 3 weeks three weeks
before you married that... woman.
You'll be on doubt pleased to know,
I am about to pay the price for that folly.
- So the rumor's true?
- Yes it would seem so.
Yasmin, please, keep it to yourself.
I don't want to alert your Stepmother
until I have proof.
Card.
- Praise Allah that someone
in this family is lucky.
Huh.
- Cash this in.
- How did you know I can be trusted?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were one of my bodyguards.
It's alright...
What's the going rate on a slap these days?
You're cheap.
Thank you Sir.
I must apologize for my daughter.
She's a very high spirited girl.
Look, a flare.
- Yasmin, go to your cabin.
- Wait a minute. - Now
Gentlemen...
- Haven't we met before?
- Not formally.
Be a nice little princess and go to sleep.
Hi, Dad.
To save your daughter,
you must do two things.
First $ 100 million to be deposited
into a Swiss bank account.
- No problem.
- Second: You abdicate.
Renounce the throne?
That is impossible.
Then Yasmin will die.
Who will succeed me?
All in good time.
What a shame, I enjoyed your
company at the table.
And I yours.
Hey, stop. I said stop.
I haven't time to deal with
some bumpkin cop, lose him.
I said stop.
Can you hear me?
I think we lost him.
Yeah.
Look out!
- Are you alright?
- Yes. - No.
- One of my passengers is injured.
- No wonder, the way you drive it's a
wonder they're not all dead.
- They way I drive? - Yes.
- Could we please settle this at the hospital?
No. I'm Police Commissioner Dreyfus, and
I demand to see your driving license.
As you wish.
Ahh!... That felt good.
Now then. Is anyone hurt?
- Yes, in the van.
- My sister is unconscious.
- She is?
- She should be taken to the hospital.
- Where is she?
In the van.
- Excuse me, your sister is in his van?
- No.
- That's not my van.
- Look, I'm Commissioner Dreyfus, if you will allow me...
- Excuse me. Just a moment, just a moment.
When.. Excuse me, when I asked you if anyone was hurt,
you replied: Yes, in my van.
No, no, I said: Yes, in the
van, not in my van.
No, no, you did not say: Yes in the van. Not yes in the van.
- You said: Yes. You do not say: Yes, my van. Not yes the van.
- Look... - You said yes my van, not yes in the van
- Did you hear what I just said?
- Yes, I heard.
- It's my van.
- Now we're getting somewhere.
- Listen, you imbecile...
- Wait sir, I am an Officer of the "Lour".
- I said-
- I know what you said. I am an Officer of the "Lour".
Please, my sister may be dying.
Please stand back, stand back.
- Have you been hunting?
- Yes. Hunting. Very perceptive.
Who are you?
I am Gendarme Jacques
Gambrelli, 2nd Class.
- Who are you?
- I am...
Your sister is very...
Very unconscious
I suspect that she has received
a "burmp" on the head.
- A bump.
- What?
Never mind. Come, Franois.
She requires immediately the emergency treatment, Mr..? er...
- Jones.
- Take her quickly to the Nice hospital, Mr. Jones.
And I will phone ahead to find out...
Mr. Jones, please stop. Mr Jones, my hand, my finger.
Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones please stop, Mr. Jones...
I have no time now for you to show me your
credentials. Do not drive off...
But I have an idea. You shall drive me,
you shall drive me to the nearest phone...
Sorry we are late, but we've had a car accident.
- Nothing too serious, I trust?
- We are lucky to be alive.
Be seated.
Now Chief, listen. Normally investigation of crimes
committed in French territorial waters is your responsibility.
But as this kidnapping is politically so important
to the Government,
The president has ordered me to
personally take charge of the case.
Understand, he does not think that you are
less qualified for this than I, but...
- Maybe I think...
- More qualified.
- So. What are your orders?
- First i want to know everything that is known about the case.
- This is everything we have to date.
- Oh, good.
- Then I'll want your best man to liaison.
- That will be Gambrelli.
I'll study the report tonight, and I'll
see you here in the morning at 9:00 o'clock.
Oh, by the way, there was a
police officer at the accident.
How shall I... he had an odd way of speaking.
- Mispronouncing words.
- No.
- He crashed his bicycle into our car.
- Doesn't ring a bell.
Perhaps it's not that important.
See you in the morning.
- A fine room for Your Highness.
- I want water.
- Can you get me water now?
- Yes, Of course.
- Take your clothes off.
- No.
- Take your clothes off!
- No.
Let go. Get you hands off me.
What about the Cop?
The longer we wait...
He'll probably show up at the hospital.
Arnon.
Try to make it look like an accident.
- What makes you think they'll show up?
- It's just a hunch.
Look.
- It wont be long.
- Why not?
Because something there's something phoney about Mr. Jones...
and those hunters with their automatic weapons.
Then Mr. Jones just wanted to get out of there...
I don't believe he had any intention of
take his sister to the hospital.
It it looks like you might be right.
- What is he doing?
- What does it look like he's doing?
- Has he drowned?
- He can't. Not yet.
What am I doing?
I can't swim, help, help.
- What's wrong?
- I can't swim.
Neither can I.
- Then why aren't you drowning?.
- Because you see, there's sand... yes, sand.
- What? - Stand. - Ha ha ha!
- Who are you?
- Gendarme 2nd class Jacques Gambrelli.
- Who are you?
- Commissioner Dreyfus. Police.
Come on, Gambrelli. I'll give you a lift home.
But why would the man in the
van want to kill me?
Maybe it has something to do with the unconscious girl.
You had a good look at her, didn't you?.
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes of starry skies...
Very Poetic.
- Yes, "Lurd" Byron.
- "Lurd".
Thank you for the lift
Commissioner, good night.
Wait here.
- Do you live here alone Gambrelli?
- Oh no, I live with my mother.
- I... I'd like to meet your mother.
- Why not, everyone wants to meet my mother.
Oh, gee, this is Police Commissioner
Dreyfus, he wants to meet you.
How do you do, Mrs. Gambrelli?
- I hope it's not too late?
- No no, please, come in Commissioner.
I'm sorry, I must explain.
- I'm sorry, I must explain. I'm... i'm a bit wet.
- Please be seated. - Thanks.
I am... I am just going upstairs to change my clothes.
- Do you speak Italian Commissioner?
- No, not really.
- Darling.
- Yes.
Speak Italian.
Yes.
How do you know this man?
He gave me a lift in his car.
Why do you so upset?
The world is full of strange crazy people.
Now, bring the Commissioner down one of your robes.
Make it quick!
He's just like his father.
- Would you care to join me in the kitchen?
- I would indeed.
It's refreshing to hear some
good singing for a change.
Jacques loves opera.
- Are you musically inclined, Madame?
- No.
- Was his father?
- He played the French horn.
That probably accounts for it.
Why did you name him Jacques?
- Why not, is a beautiful French name.
- Yes, but you're Italian.
I knew a man once named Jacques.
When he died ten years ago I said:
Thank God, there can never,
never be another one like him.
And then, I met your son.
So I decided he would be better
of if he never knew.
- You mean his father is...
- Clouseau.
No, never.
Oh, Commissioner.
Your Highness? Yasmin?
I have a... a little snacky for you.
Under different circumstances
we could have had such fun.
What happened?
Make sure she doesn't get out again.
We need to get you a doctor.
- How are you?
- Terrible.
- No doubt that was a "Burmb".
- A what?
- A bomb.
- A bo..
You need to rest, Charles.
- How do you know my first name?
- You told me in the ambulance.
Strange, I don't remember.
But I remember you.
You said: My name is Charlie
Dreyfus and I'm going to be a policeman.
I used to say that as a child.
I must have been delirious.
- No, you were very sweet.
- I was?
What's this? What's this?
Something's happened.
Stop it!
- Give it to me!
- Stop it...
Something terrible has happening.
- Now don't play with it again.
- Thank you nurse.
No no no, you should relax now.
No, I can't relax.
I have to tell him something.
- What's his name, your son? Jacques. Listen Jacques,
I'm wanting to tell you, you are in great danger.
- I am?
- Franois, where is the chief's report? - Ah. Here.
There. You remember the unconscious girl you saw in the van?
Oh. How could I ever forget her?
"Beauty, too rich for use, for earth too dear"...
- Jacques loves poetry.
- Yes, I know, I want you to look at this photograph.
My God, but it is she, how did you know?
- Just a hunch.
- A what?.
- Who is she, what is she doing in this photograph?
- She is Princess Yasmin.
A Princess? Kidnapped? Mama is she not beautiful?
Not bad for a princess.
Evening Commissioner. At ease Gambrelli.
I'm glad to see that you are not hurt, Madame.
Thank you Chief.
- And I'm particularly happy that you're still with us Commissioner.
- Oh, I'm sure you must be.
And I'm particularly happy that you
you assigned me Officer Gambrelli.
Really?
Without him I might not have discovered that the
Princess was being held here in the south of France.
- I will put a general alarm immediately.
- You will do nothing of the kind until I give the word.
Meanwhile, Officer Gambrelli's
mother needs a safe place to stay, so...
Since I'm going be here a while so
she can have my suite at the hotel.
Oh, but I can't.
You must, please.
Whatever they need Franois.
Around the clock protection Chief.
God bless you.
Come on.
Get out!
Wait, I... I just remembered something
that I forgot to say to the Commissioner.
I will bring the car around.
No no no, if it's not much trouble
I'd rather you take my Mother to
the hotel and then come back for me.
You go that way.
Sorry, sorry.
- Why don't you just ask for a doctor.
- Don't worry we'll find one.
If you are looking for a
Doctor, I am very good doctor.
I'll be in Surgery.
Ambulance.
- Yes? - Are you are a Doctor?
- Yes, I am a very good doctor.
- Then would you mind coming with us, please?
- Oh, It would be a delight.
You are looking as beautiful as ever.
And you still look as elegant and handsome.
We haven't been in this place here together, how long?
Ten years?
Minimum.
You wanted to see me. Why?
I thought I should give you my support.
That's very considerate of you.
I beleive one of the ransom conditions
is that you have to give your throne.
Yes.
Will you do that?
It's possible. As long as my successor is not an Army man.
Well, I'm sure it wont.
I wont forget that.
Obviously he doesn't have
much faith in the military.
People have been saying that he knows that
we're sleeping together.
- Do you think that is all that he knows?
- Hmmm.
Or right now, you would be soup for my supper.
- Yes?
- It's the doctor.
Finally. Come in, Doctor.
Good evening.
What? What seems to be the problem?
You have received the blemish in your arm, eh?.
I beleive it may require some stitches.
- What do you think?
- Ohh!
Oh yes, I think you need to do something
to keep you from fainting, yes.
You must take deep breaths, like this.
See? Then you don't faint, but deep, very, very deep.
- What happened?
- You hyper-ventilated.
I did? Where?
- You fainted.
- Oh, That I know.
Well, are you going to stitch up my arm or not?
Of course, I am going to stitch up.. Phew!.. Up your arm...
But first I must check...
if you are physically fit.
Fit as a fiddle. Very good.
And now...
...must check your reflexes.
Reflexes of a fiddle.
Very good. And now...
It must be somewhere.
This is very good. Do you know
what is this? Very good.
My dentist uses this.
He pulls my WIS.. wisdom tooth
and I didn't even feel it.
- Novocain.
- No. No, no.
Dentist, his name is Fishburne.
Dr. Marvin Fishburne.
I highly recommend him, seriously.
I think I stabbed myself in the cheek.
Now, before I can stitch up your arm...
I must inject you.
Hold still. Hold... hold still.
Hold still.
Very good.
Good.
Now, Ok, it's, it's, it's getting very late.
And I think...
I get back to... the the Hospital and surgery.
I am very important.
Bye-bye.
On second thought, I am in no condition to operate.
Better that I stay here, with you.
If you need me, I am here, with you.
I'm here, now just relax...
We've run into a slight complication...
It makes it impractical for us to stay here any longer.
Yeah, yeah. If all goes well,
We will be in Darfur by tomorrow afternoon.
"But, sof... soft"
"What light through yonder window breaks?"...
"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun"
Romeo?
Er, no.. Hic.. Jacques.
- You know what they say?
- No.
"A rose by any name"...
"Would smell as sweet"
What are you doing here sweetie?
I came to rescue... hic... rescue you.
- Hold your breath.
- My breath?
- Longer. - I can't.
- Ohhh...
I'll help. Try again, look.
It's no use.
There is one other way.
A little extreme but it always works.
- Hello?
- Did I wake you?
No.
- Are you alone?
- No, I am in bed with a beautiful woman.
Do not lie. Not even in fun.
I just spoke to our friend in France. Something's
come up, and he plans to visit uncle Idris.
- So?
- Evidently, he had no alternative.
Rumor has it that the king return
back to town tomorrow.
Right. This place is getting
a little to close to Uncle Idris for comfort.
- Will I see you tomorrow?
- Of course.
Your hiccups are gone.
Incredible. How did you discover that?
I was engaged to a football player
when I went to college in the U.S..
He always had the hiccups.
Who could blame him.
How about you?
- I've never had hiccups. - Never?
- But if I ever do, then...
I hope to you find in the neighbourhood.
I'll consider it an honor
and a privilege to be of assistance.
- How long have you been a policeman, Officer Gambrelli?
- Oh. Three years next May.
How long have you been Princess, Your Highness?
- All my life.
- That's a long time to be anything.
- Do you like being a cop?
- Yes sometimes. How is it being a princess?
- It's not much fun.
- Oh, the fun is important.
What else is important to you?
- Oh... Singing.
- Yes...
That... is terrible.
Yes, and poetry.
Parents of golden dreams,
the romance of the Queen's joy
The airy dance
That's Byron.
And the rain.
And sleeping. And my mother.
- Do you like your mother?
- Yes, very much, yes. And women.
What kind of women?
All kinds. Especially
dark women with blue eyes...
and full red lips, who smell like night-blooming jasmine
and taste like warm mango.
Warm mango?
And honey.
- Oh my God.
- Mine too... hic...
Playing Doctor?
We're going on a little trip. And I think you'll
be much more comfortable asleep throughout the journey.
Touch her and you'll answer to me.
- There'll be nothing left of him when that goes off.
- He's coming out of it.
Come.
You're driving too fast.
- Ahh... Mama.
- Jacques, I was so worried.
The Princess. They have taken the Princess!
- Please, Jacques.
- I have to stop them.
- You're not supposed to get up.
- I must. I must tell the Commissioner about Uncle Idris.
I will tell the Commissioner about Uncle Idris?
Who is the uncle Idris?
I don't know.
I remember he is someone, that they were going to
Darfur...
to visit Uncle Idris.
- Just keep quiet.
- Uncle Idris.
- Well?
- They said he was in Room 408.
I'll check.
How is he?
Jacques just wanted to get out of bed come to...
come down here to tell you about a guy called Idris.
He said they were going a place called Darfur.
Darfur? That's in a small military republic called Lugash.
- Charles. - Yes, Maria.
- I'm worried about Jacques.
There, there, if he's anything like his father,
he'll be alright, he'll manage.
But that's the trouble, he's
too much like his father
That's why I disappeared, came here and
encourage him in music and poetry
but in spite of everything he
was determined to be a policeman.
And to protect you, Charles?
- You must know who his father was.
- His father, yes, was an idiot. I mean...
- Yes, but I can not say that.
- Of course not.
Clouseau has always been his hero.
Imagine you've always wanted
be a great fisherman...
and suddenly you discover that
your father was Captain Ahab.
Come here. Tell me...
- You and Clouseau...
- I was very young.
I know I still don't understand.
You, such a beautiful woman.
We were caught in a snowstorm,
I knew that if we didn't do something we would die.
He said that the Alaskan Indians
keep from freezing to death by making love.
I was young, I wanted to live.
Do I hope you are not offended?
No. It's just too bad you didn't have a stationary bike
or a rowing machine or something.
- So, I never would have had Jacques.
- Exactly, no no.
I was a little brusque.
Tell me, don't you think it's best if
you told him about his father now?
Probably let him find out for himself later on.
Yes, actually you're right.
Oh, Chief, you look a bit frazzled.
Why not, Officer Gambrelli
pushed me out of the window.
Fortunately I held onto the telephone.
And to make matters worse
Officer Gambrelli wont tell me anything
until he's cleared it with you.
Have you taken charge of this case Commissioner...
But I am chief of police here.
And as long as Officer
Gambrelli is on my force...
I expect him to report to me
without your official permission!
And I always knew you were
a pompous pissant pip... pip...
Commissioner.
- Clouseau, my father.
- Yes.
Why didn't you tell me?
For the same reason I did not tell him.
I thought you would both be better off not knowing.
Your father and I weren't in love.
We had a brief encounter in a blizzard.
Why did you pretend my father was a
Italian French horn player.
Well, for one thing to justify
your interest in music.
Actually, Clouseau played the violin.
Not well, but full of passion.
He made love the way he played violin.
- Why tell me now?
- Because in many ways you are like your father.
Foolhardy, accident prone,
pigheaded, brave...
Accident prone.
I think it's important that you know
the things that kept him alive.
Also all those things that he did not pay
attention too and that cost him his life.
If I should die, I'll encounter the darkness
as a bride and encircle it with my arms.
- Shakespeare.
- Yes.
Excuse me, but you would want to know
Chief Lazar and Commissioner Dreyfus
are both in intensive care.
- Have you told him?
- Yes.
- Gendarme 2nd class Gambrelli
- Yes?
- Looks like you're in charge now.
- Yes. -No.
Time is running out for the princess.
Apart from me and Franois...
Gambrelli officer is the only one
you can identify the kidnappers.
But Charles he has
so little experience.
His father was a patrolman
and became the...
greatest detective in France
without any experience.
If you are a Clouseau, you
can succeed without experience.
- I hope you will now change your name?
- Why?
- You are a Clouseau.
- Yes but Gambrelli is a good name.
Gambrelli.
You can sing it. And you want me to change it?
Sounds nice, your
father saved my life.
Clouseau... OK.
Franois you are to see to it, that Gendarme
2nd Class Jacques Gambrelli be promoted...
to Detective 1st Class Jacques
Clouseau, Junior.
As fast as you can get him
new papers and a passport.
Do not worry Maria, when the kidnappers
hear that a Clouseau is on their trail...
they'll probably surrender without a fight.
Shut up.
Salute.
- Dr. Balls?
- Who wants to know?
Detective Jacques Clouseau,
2nd... 1st Class, Junior.
I spoke with you on the phone earlier...
- Good evening.
- I am Madame balls.
- You do not like him.
- I wouldn't know, I've never met your husband.
- Who said anything about my husband?
- You said I do not look like him.
- I meant your father.
- Well, why didn't you say so, I never met him either.
He is a real Clouseau.
- Detective Clouseau.
- 1st class, Junior.
Of course. Dr. Auguste
Balls, totally at your service.
You must forgive me for having Madame
Balls establish your authenticity.
Many grims and charlatans
these days would use my talents.
When you're a part of the game You can't be too careful.
Now, am I?
Yes.
Happy to see the child of my oldest,
dearest and deadest friend.
And as I always used to think of him,
remember...
If you need a disguise and duty calls,
look no further because you've got balls.
Did you make that up?
No, my genius lies in the art of transfiguration.
My wife is the 'Emily Bront' of the establishment.
Congratulations. I also am a bit of a poet.
You should go see Marta
Parmet's sonnets.
She also makes the most delicious borscht.
Now specifically,
how I can help the child of...
my dearest, my best client?
I need to get into Lugash,
without being recognized.
Certainly.
Marta.
Hey.
Martha, bring me the package
of the sickening beggar, number 2.
Wait here.
That is why you asked me to meet you in the park?
So you could attack me like
you attacked my father?
Yes, I can honestly say that
your father would have been dead many times.
But thanks to my surprise attacks keeping him
on his toes and alert to every danger.
I am available if you are considering hiring me in
the same capacity I once served your father.
Take a fortune cookie.
What does it say?
"You will hire an Oriental
family friend". Amazing.
The plane will arrive on time in Lugash. He will be met
at the airport, where he will be taken to the hotel...
where he will be contacted by one our Agents.
We interrupt this broadcast to give
you an important news flash.
A breaking story out of Nice reveals
that Clouseau may have had a child.
According to an anonymous phone call it's stated
that Gendarme 2nd Class Jacques Gambrelli...
Was in fact 1st Class Detective Jacques
Clouseau of the Nice Police Force.
Charles, have you seen the
morning paper?
Detective Clouseau's Son.
He's being met by a French Agent, posing
as a Limo Driver.
- Mr. Gambrelli?
- Yes. -Me too.
- Mr. Gambrelli.
- Yes.
I have to take you to your hotel room.
There is no need to register.
Go to your room and wait
for a call from Mr. Wasim.
- Who?
- Mr. Wasim.
This way please.
The son of France's greatest detective.
Undoubtedly a gifted police officer in his own right.
Probably new to Lugash.
Then it isn't clear.
- This will change our plans.
- I don't think so.
We have always known that if we were discovered
we risked reprisal from our unstable neighbour.
It may well be that France's greatest detective
can insure us against that discovery.
How he can do that?
By eliminating Uncle Idris or
or least taking credit for it.
At least for the time being, make sure that
Detective Clouseau Junior is well protected.
Your Highness, please, put your legs
around my waist.
- In your dreams.
- As you wish.
You can't take me down, what are you doing?.
Geronimo!
Jumping without a parachute.
Highness stop beating me or I'm going to drop you.
Really? I'm your ticket to paradise.
Mr. Gambrelli room.
For you, it's Mr. Wasim.
Thank you.
Hello?
Meet me in Ohmar's
Oasis at 10 o'clock.
I'll be wearing a red carnation... Argghh...
- Welcome to my home away from home, Your Highness.
- Who are you?
I am Atif Idris Al Sheikh Al Sabah.
You can call me Uncle Idris.
What's wrong with my disguise?
Dr. Ball said it was a totally original creation.
Mr. Gambrelli's room.
It's Commissioner Dreyfus.
Give me the phone.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Where are you?
Hello?
- Yes?
- Hello?
- What happened?
- Hello.
- Commissioner?
- Yes.
I'm sorry to do this, but I want you pack
you bags and catch next plane home.
You've become a politically hot potato.
The French Government can't protect you.
- Then what about the princess?
- Officially she's not your concern any more.
Maybe not officially, but unofficially
she will always be my concern.
I think I'll go with you anyway.
No Cato, one hot potato is too much.
Is it really you? You are...
I'm not wanting to be difficult about it,
but will you give me your autograph?
- What?
- I do not have the pen. Do you have the pen?
- No.
- Anyone have a pen?
You write: To Wafiyyah.
- Yes, but I do not have any paper.
- Not on paper, here.
- There?
- Yes.
To my girlfriend. Hurry.
Hurry, if not finish my dance,
Omar he cut off my nipples.
This not right, "Gambrelli"?
No, Clouseau. I saw your picture. Very beautiful.
Is this Omar?
Music, Mufib.
- Where is the princess?
- Not far away from here. I can take you to her.
- We haven't much time.
- Why? What time is it now?
A quarter past three.
My nose.
With permission. Thanks
They're going to kill you, follow me.
Wafiyyah he's Clouseau.
Pervert.
In here, in the kitchen.
- Come, this way.
- Not until you tell me who you are?
- Colonel Al-Durai, Lugash special services.
I'm here to help you rescue the Princess.
- Where is the Princess?
She's being held in a desert hideout about 20
kilometres north-east of Ksar el Kabir.
What is this? I'm ruined.
It's not fine to be like this, you
will be compensated. Where is your car?
- Over there.
- Everyone, in the car,in the car.
Cato. Cato. Here.
- Where is Gambrelli?
- Hopefully gone to rescue the princess.
- Where are we going?
- To see that he does.
Get out and see what that sign says.
It says, Ksar el Kabir 175 kilometres.
- Is where we're going?
- No, that's where I'm going. Goodbye, Cato.
Get in, Rabbi.
Remember Men, this is a diplomatic intelligence
mission.
Clouseau gets credit for rescuing the Princess.
Good Luck.
- Gentelmen, After you.
- Me? I am not going.
- Me neither.
- That's it. Sergeant, take them out and shoot them.
- I changed my mind.
- Keep me a seat.
- Excuse me, do you know which way is north?
- Yes
Yussa, get her.
Come with me. There is a way out of here.
- That fine, but she's not going with us.
- Don't be foolish, she is our ticket to escape.
Go ahead shoot me.
Oh I will, unless you can stop me.
Let's see.
Here, you need some help.
- Drop it.
- Hello, sailor.
That felt good.
Come with, we'll miss our escape.
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me.
Plant no roses at my
head, no shade to hide my street.
Water the green grass above me with soul
and dewdrops wet
And if thou wilt remember,
and if thous wilt forget.
That's it, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Yesterday morning, Princess Yasmin of Lugash
was rescued from her kidnappers...
...by Detective Inspector 1st Class
Jacques Clouseau Junior,
the son of France's greatest detective.
And so, Detective 1st Class Jacques Clouseau Junior the
latest medical opinion has him reporting well
And his doctors expect him to be back on his feet
in a matter of a few weeks.
- Hi there.
- Hello!
- You're looking better.
- Darling, Charles and I have something to tell you.
- You're getting married.
- How did you know?
Haha, I know because I am a good detective.
Right, Dad?
What are you doing?
Silly boy.
- Oh dear, forgive me.
- Jacqueline? - I'm sorry I'm late Mom.
- Jacqueline! - Yeah! Brother.
- Sister.
- "Mama"?
- Your head is bleeding.
- You have received a "beam".
- "beam"?
Maria.
Oh Charles, I plan to tell you.
I had twins.
Thank you.
You must be very proud.
- Thank you... whaa?
I adore you.
That felt good!