Sorority of the Damned (2025) Movie Script
This old guy is my
grandpa, Reynold Harmony.
And not to sound selfish with
him about to kick the bucket and all,
spoiler alert,
destiny is about to do
a mic drop into my nuts.
I'm actually a highly educated biologist.
I graduated at the top of my class,
Trevor Harmony, Valictorian,
and look where it got me.
It all started after college.
Come here, little man. Hard for me to talk.
God damn Alzheimer's... can barely
string two congruent thoughts together.
So I better make this quick
before I short out again.
You're... now how shall I put this lightly?
Such a goddamn
motherfucking disappointment!
Say what you want about the old
man. He knew how to get a point across.
What do you mean?
I have a master's degree in cytosubiology.
I'm going to Alaska to study orcas.
Such a goddamn disappointment.
Whale mating?
I'm not sure I follow.
You know good goddamn well
what I mean, you little shithead.
You're a harmony.
It's been passed down from the
eldest born male for 11 generations.
Trevor, you're a good boy.
Always been a man of your word.
A trait you probably got from me.
You see, we're not
just a family of janitors.
We're more, way more.
What I'm gonna tell you
has been passed down
from Harmony Man to
Harmony Man for 275 years.
I had no idea what he was about to say
or how important it would
be, but I could see it in his eyes
that this revelation was about
to change my world forever.
It seemed like my eyes were
about to be open for the first time.
That it was all about to make sense.
The axe holds the keys. Keys. Keys.
Baseball bat.
Get away from me, demons.
I will destroy you.
Trevor, there you are.
Keep running. They'll kill us all.
Who will?
The werewolves. Witches. Zombies.
Oh, this shit again.
Witches. Zombies.
Margo... Margo...
Alzheimer's is a bitch.
And Margo's his car.
And this is Margo.
That I own.
It's okay.
Thanks Gramps, Thanks.
I hate you girls. I hate you girls.
I hate all of you.
From valedictorian to
sorority house janitor.
Fucking hate you.
And my life.
Someone get the door. Jesus.
I'm not getting it.
I'm not getting it, Amber's
trucker shits clogged the toilet.
No I didn't!
Don't worry, I'll get it.
Even though no one else
seems to care, Trevor, I still do.
Rumpy Gans is at the door.
Maura, isn't it for you?
I need to get dressed. And no,
Cersei's the one that clogged the toilet.
Hey, Jenny.
Hi, Trevor.
Let me guess. Toilet?
Toilet.
Mm.
Which bathroom?
Upstairs.
That's great.
I just don't understand... What is that?
I don't know.
Let's hurry, Trevi.
I've replaced orcas with turds and tampons.
It's fine. It's fine. It's all fine.
Ugh. Seriously, dude,
just fix the thing already.
What is in here?
What do they do?
I know, right? If you actually did something instead of
standing there yelling at the toilet, you'd be done already.
Yeah, you may have some anger issues and you may want to see somebody
about that because my psychologist says that stress can lead to anger.
And anger can lead to a heart attack.
Thanks Yoda.
Who's Yoda?
Her name is Grace.
What?
You've never seen Star Wars?
Jenny!
Jenny, hello? Jenny, hello?
Hi, Jenny.
Oh, hey, guys.
God, I've been calling
your name for like an hour.
What are you doing?
Just...
Yes, Jenny, what are you doing?
I was just gonna go to English.
Is that my biology book?
Yes.
Did you get my homework done?
No, but that's because I had
an essay to do this morning.
I'll get yours done at lunch.
I don't have time, Jenny.
I need it in like an hour.
God, I swear, if you mess up my grade in biology
and I fail and I don't get my dad's money,
I will strangle you with a telephone cord.
I'm just kidding. I would never do that.
But I so would if I don't
get my dad's money.
You don't want to get kicked
out of the sorority, do you?
Well...
Where are you going to go?
Alphabet and dog face? I mean, really.
It's not even a real sorority.
Cram it, Jenny. Get my homework
done. Seriously. Go. Now.
Circey, come on. Grace
and Moria are waiting for us.
Bye, Jenny. Love you. Don't change.
JK, LOL. Like, change a little.
Go on a diet or something.
But you're beautiful.
Why do you let those
girls talk to you like that?
Sadly, those are the only friends I got.
Jenny.
You need new friends.
Yeah.
See? Idiots.
Well, I mean, librarians are friends.
And Trevor-Trevor's a friend, I think.
And then there's... Morgan?
Fuckin' fuck, man.
Come on, what, seriously?
Aw, man.
Amber! Fuck...
What do we have here?
What the fuck?
Reynold and Heidi Harmony...
Dad.
That's mine now.
Fuck you, girl.
Ah!
Oh, damn, Angela!
Yes?
Well, don't be scared, little kitty.
I have to leave for a few days on business.
Vampire convention?
Wisecracks will only get you so far.
I was going to study whales.
That's nice.
Did you get the toilet fixed?
I did. And I'm so happy to have
accomplished something in my life.
Keep it up.
You might do really well in life,
if you don't have a heart
attack or something stupid.
I am smart.
I am beautiful. I will overcome everything.
Flawless.
Ladies, we have two days before pledge day.
We have pledges to seek and hazing to do.
My favorite part.
Cersei, where do we stand with sign-ups?
Huh? Hello?
None.
None?
No one wants to sign up with us
because they hear we're bitches.
We are. But so what? Who isn't?
Jenny isn't. Neither is Morgan.
Morgan?
Lesbo, if you ask me.
Amber? That's mean.
She likes girls.
Like, have you ever seen her with a man?
Lesbo. Hello?
Gross.
You literally make out with
your best friend when she's drunk.
That's different.
Right.
I'm not a lesbo.
Aw, and I'm an Astronaut Boop.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Uh, uh, what's...
Yeah!
Please.
Please.
Heidi Harmony and Trevor Agent 2.
Mom and Dad.
What is this?
What is this?
Washington, two dens.
Colorado, nine covens.
New York, unlimited...
limited sectors?
Too much?
What
Whoa!
Goonies never say die.
Sagittarius, you are going
to be extremely successful.
This could prove to be one of
your most adventurous years.
Your free spirit and love of nature
will prove useful in the coming months.
And although you'll fight inner demons,
your true nature will come to light.
See, so things are looking up.
My true nature.
What is it, Amber?
Nothing.
What?
I just...
I don't know. It's scary.
Understanding your true self
is always complicated, Amber.
Amber, you are so special.
I...
What are you doing?
What?
I...
Do you like me?
No.
I was just messing.
Oh, you're getting so sentimental on me.
Oh, no.
OK, because for a second
there, I was like, what?
What?
Ew. Gross. That's gross. No.
You think I like girls? You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
OK.
All right.
You're funny.
Good one.
All right, go to
bed.
Go to bed.
Oh my God.
Hi Trevor.
Hey Jenny.
I told him you were gonna be pissed.
Oh, that's great. Which bathroom?
Upstairs.
Great.
Wasn't me? I don't flush tampons.
What? What? Gross. Seriously? Come on! Why?
It wasn't. It Wasn't Ugh!
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seriously?
Yay! That fixed it.
What?
What?
I hate you girls. I hate all of you!
Fuck, man.
Seriously?
Ugh!
Ugh!
Pfft!
What?
Looks like Gringotts up in this bitch!
Hey.
Buddy, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Stop it!
What? You were sleeping.
I'm not sleeping! I'm on a shelf!
Does it look like I'm taking a nap?!
If you need my hammer, it's in
my ass. There's a door over there.
- What?
- Come on.
We gotta move this.
Jesus.
Do you wanna help?!
You want help?
You look like you had it under control.
I don't.
Oh my god, what was that made of?
Why the hell is there a door here?
We're gonna find out.
Okay.
Do you want a flashlight?
Yeah.
You go.
What do you think this is?
I think it's a hallway.
Come on.
Clearly.
This
is...
Sorry.
Does this feel like we're going down?
This might be like under the backyard.
Ew.
A door.
Holy smokes, man.
What?
Open it.
No, I can't.
There's a huge lock on it.
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What, what, what, what?
Oh, my God.
I just found this key yesterday.
What?
Try it.
No.
Yes.
OK.
Oh, my God.
What?
No way, dude.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, go.
Okay.
Ah!
Ah!
God!
Are you coming?
Yeah.
Hey.
What?
Sorry.
Don't say anything.
Mum's the word.
Mum's the word?
What the fuck does that even mean?
You know, like, don't say anything.
It's like Bob's your uncle.
What?
How the fuck do you know Bob's my uncle?
How would
How would I know that
you have an Uncle Bob?
I don't even know your family.
Okay. Well, I do. His name is
Robert, actually, but Mom's the word.
Bob's your uncle.
Dude.
This is amazing.
I want this room.
That's probably a bad idea.
No, this must be where the old sorority
held their meetings and pledge nights,
fingering each other and shit.
Ew.
Yeah, right before
they sacrificed the virgins.
Look at that.
No, no, no, no.
Have bad feelings in here.
Bad, bad, bad feelings.
Wait, can
Oh my, will you stop being a baby?
This is awesome. This must
be the original pledge book.
- I don't think so.
- Yeah,
I think it is.
- No.
- I'm
Okay.
Okay, alright. Well, don't
listen to me. I'm a big fat idiot.
Wait for me.
No, no, no. No, no.
Try this.
Oh, yes.
Get out of here.
Ugh, here.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
You all right?
You look a little bit woozy.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
What?
That was like a white squall.
Is this made of human
flesh?
No, it's like cow or goat or something.
Why would it be human?
Oh, I don't know, it's
just a shot in the dark.
Are you sure it's not human flesh?
Well, no, but no, no,
no, I'm sure it's not human.
What is that?! Oh, hey Trevor
We found this in a secret
room in the basement.
Mum's the word.
Bob's your uncle.
His name is Touchy.
Wait, a secret room in the what?
Yeah, we have like a whole
set of rooms under the house.
We do?
Yeah, it's awesome.
Stop talking!
So what is that?
I think it might be the
original sorority pledge book.
I don't know, I'm not sure though.
It might be something else entirely.
I wanna take it to the
school and look it up.
If that is the original Omega
Zeta pledge book, I want it now.
It's literally right here.
We're not holding the hostage.
Give it.
Give it!
It's right here.
Yeah, literally just walk
over here and look at it.
No! Ugh! Give it to me. I'm
taking it to my room to read.
UH What?
First of all, it's like
in Latin or something.
And second of all, we need to examine it.
We should call Angela and tell her.
Tell me what.
Jesus!
Angela, hi.
We found this awesome book
and we have like a whole
set of rooms under the house.
Thank you, Trevor.
Well, this is very interesting,
but I think we should
leave it here for now.
And Amber, if you wanna read it,
and I mean really read it,
you should do it right here.
No, no, I wanna take it to
my room to read. It'll be fine.
No, no, no, no, it's very old.
And it's getting late.
Trevor, whatever you're
doing here to maintenance,
you can do tomorrow
morning. You may leave now.
What, no, I'm, hey,
no, I wanna, I'm also...
The book will be here tomorrow.
Girls, clean up and do your homework.
Really?
Really.
Trevor.
Thank you so much for finding that book.
It'll finally help the girls understand
their reasons for being here.
How long do you think it was down there?
Too long.
It's time I set things right.
Okay.
You have a boner.
Who doesn't?
Am I right? That was hot.
Sigh
Reynolds, I'm writing you to inform you
that we have failed.
Some of us did not make it out,
including Harvey and Heidi.
I'm truly sorry.
Hence it came of courage and grace,
for the magic they bestow
is from an ancient place.
What?
They are not to be trifled
with. They too are magic born.
If it is evil you cast,
that shall be your last.
The of the name did not be harmed
to the protectors of the cursed,
for they have stopped many.
What?
They be named Harmony.
Then I'm the stoned one... Okay,
yep. You're right. You're right.
I'm the stoner. I'm the loser.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
I'm dreaming.
What?
You have an erection again.
It's a compliment.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Hey guys, the floor is still wet.
Okay, thank you.
Wow, this place is intense.
I like it this way.
Have you never seen my room before?
No.
I would have taken you
for a blue kind of person.
What do you mean?
Like your aura.
I feel like you're blue.
Like you seem blue.
Why blue, dear?
I don't know.
Do you see everyone's auras?
No, I don't think so. But I
think Morgan's a lesbian.
That's not the same thing.
Well, she has that vibe. Like, when I see her, her aura's like
yellow. Like sunburst. Like I see a sunburst when I look at her.
That's very interesting.
I know, right?
Yeah.
Well, do you believe in magic then?
Yes, yes, I believe we
all have magic inside of us.
Like we are one with the universe.
Like we can talk to the earth.
And why do you feel this way?
Because I have since I was a little girl.
This one time my mom
caught me talking to a ghost.
I can like see things.
Ghost.
Looking
Yeah, I know. It's stupid. I just
thought I was meant for bigger things.
Maybe you are.
Yeah, maybe.
I want to show you something.
Okay. Wait, I don't know if I'm
ready for this. No, no, go ahead.
This is called...
The Book of Shadows - What?
What did you think was happening?
Nothing.
That's like a journal, right?
It is.
Good job.
I had one when I was a little girl.
But my dad didn't like
it, so he threw it out.
Men can be so destructive.
Right?
Do you like men?
Well, that's a hard question.
I've been with men before.
But I never want to get
attached to one for too long.
I was with two guys.
How was that?
Well, I don't know. Clumsy.
They thought they were amazing.
They always did.
In this book, I can show you great things,
but sacrifices will have to be made.
Nothing's free.
That's very true.
How many pledges do we have tonight?
All of one.
That's all we need.
And then we can grow exponentially.
I'm gonna show you so much, Amber.
But I know it's gonna seem kind of weird.
But I feel that you're
open to some suggestions.
Hey, Char, where you going?
I was just leaving.
You better run, 'cause I'm
about to fuck up some shizzit!
Shit!
I will cut you like a fucking pig!
Ah!
Ah!
Stop!
I do what she says and get the fuck out.
Now let's have a little fun.
Well, I guess we don't have any pledges.
That's normal.
I can't believe our
one pledge didn't show.
Is she acting weird to anybody else?
Right?
Yeah.
What is that?
Um, I think that's the
original pledge book.
No pledges?
Okay, well, Jenny, you're up, sweetheart.
It's your lucky day.
What's happening?
Come, girls. Let me show
you what I've done for you.
Stop!
If I tell you to stop, I mean it.
The hazings go like this.
Jenny, start.
Strip her down to her underwear.
What? No, no, no, no, no, I
don't think I'm ready for that.
Come on, It'll be fun.
Eh, define fun.
Huh?
No.
Amber, make Jenny cooperate.
Oh okay
What?
You have no idea how much you like.
Oh, uh...
It's just hazing. It'll be fun.
Don't worry. Nothing will happen.
Wait, are you Menzies?
What? No.
Good.
Okay.
Let's go
do it.
Pants.
I got it. Thank you. Thank
you. I can do this part.
And get on the table.
It will all be over soon.
And you will be free as it does.
Yes, yes.
I'm sorry.
Now!
No.
Grace, hold her wrists tightly.
Grace!
I said hold her wrists tightly now.
It's Hazing! Fuck!
Are we not all getting naked?
No, put your clothes on, dufus.
Cersei Maura, you hold her feet.
Amber, hold her down.
What is that noise?
Is that screaming coming from outside?
I don't hear anything.
Oh, my God.
But after tonight, we'll all be sisters.
And we will be more powerful
than you could ever imagine.
What is happening?
By way of the three and the power of three,
I unleash thee from your tomb!
Come forth, O Great One,
and give your power unto me!
Are you ready?
Yes.
I'm not.
What the fuck?
What the shit are you guys doing?
Jenny, you'll all be dead soon enough.
What? Did you just say?
Okay.
God, why is everyone getting naked?
Cersei, put your fucking hands on!
God, guys!
It's getting a little nuts in here.
Girls! Follow suit.
Cersei first.
- Ow.
- Squeeze!
Yeah, I'd like to get up now.
Can someone please
hand me my fucking clothes?
I'm not drinking that.
I was at a party once, only
there was a bunch of dudes and...
Let's just say I'll never do that again.
Because now I have genital warts.
Gross! Ew, Grace.
Wait, you used to date my boyfriend.
What the fuck, Grace?
Ah!
Okay.
Good girl.
Good girl.
Ah!
Oh, man.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh,
my God.
Is that a...
Is that a human heart?
Oh.
Oh,
my God.
No, my dear. It's a lamb's heart.
Oh, that's better.
What?
What?
What?
Stop it!
What?
What the fuck?
Shit is happening!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Can someone please
give me my fucking clothes?
Yeah.
I summon the sisters.
I summon the four sisters of destruction.
Come to us.
Use us and your children.
They will fulfill our destinies.
Can I get up now?
I said, shut up.
And you will drink from
the chalice, the blood.
Mm-mm.
So my sisters can enter this realm.
Mm
Oh, oh.
What is happening?
Screaming
You dare summon us?
My queen!
I am your servant!
I summon for the sake of evil!
There are none other than us.
I have awaited your return!
Well, we have returned.
I like this one.
Okay, so my parents are dead.
My grandpa's dead.
I have no answer.
There's a hidden room and
some book wrapped in flesh.
And everything's leading
to one impossible answer.
Demon Hunter.
Where are our bodies?
What?
Our bodies, our true forms.
Jenny, it's me. It's Gra ce.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
What year is it?
According to this one, it's 2020.
About the right time
to turn the world to shit.
Won't have to do much work.
We have company.
Music: Intensifying music
In case you haven't
caught on by now, I'm the-
Hey, Trevi!
Where's your boner now?
Huh? You dead? Alive?
That hurt a lot!
Poor baby!
Shh... It'll be over soon. Just like that.
There's my boner right
beside your head, biatch!
What's wrong with your foreheads?
Trevor, you're always such a...
Loser! That's the word.
God, this girl's got all kinds of
emotions going on up here. Like, crazy.
Amber, what the hell?
Kill him now?
This one has a soft
hearrt for him. Leave him.
He'll die tomorrow when we end the world.
What did you say?
Bye, Trevy.
Morgan!
Amber!
Cersei!
Jenny!
Hey!
What the hell?
Hey, you ladies lost.
You want a ride?
Amber.
Do you know where Rebook Cemetery is?
Well, babe, I'm Ken,
and this is my dog Levi.
And what's going on with your forehead?
You wear like a hat too tight or something?
Well, do you know?
Me? I..I don't know.
You mean Old Town?
Bow to me.
Do you know where the cemetery
Do you know where the
Cemetery is or do you not?
Yes! Yes! You crazy bitch! Yes!
Take us there.
Gross!
It's about time, loser. This is
your destiny. So don't fuck it up!
And Bob's your uncle.
I guess destiny does find a way.
Amber, perhaps one should not kill a victim
until the resources of said
victim have been drained.
I know.
At first I was all like I wasn't going to,
but then I was, so I did.
I'll focus and try harder next time.
That's fine.
Levi, you really need to hold it together
and stop being such a little bitch
Well, why can't I stop driving!
Get out.
Please don't kill me.
Please, please, please don't kill me.
Levi.
What did Amber say?
Don't be such a bitch.
I can help you.
How?
I don't know.
And, um, bring you coffee or
do your laundry or something.
Fine.
Come, Servant.
Where is the cemetery?
Right through there,
but I said we're closed.
You gotta come back around 9:00 AM.
Morgan?
What are we doing?
Well hello handsome.
Harmony.
Welcome home.
Not so fast, ladies!
Attack!
Fuck!
Stronger than a trashcan.
Noted
Jenny!
Get. Off. Me!
I don't want to have to kill you girls!
Okay.
Can we kill him now?
Just can't yet.
So adorable.
Wow, this girl is like
really liking this guy.
Come on.
Is he gonna be okay?
He's not alive. Technically.
Ow!
Ladies, seriously, Morgan, I
don't want to have to kill you girls.
Didn't hurt.
Well this isn't where I saw this going.
Seriously, guys!
- No!
- No!
You are resilient.
You're welcome. Cunt punch!
Hey Janitor.
That was intense.
Want to help kill some demons?
What the fuck?
Offering... Accepted!
Trevor harmony has
summoned me to destroy evil.
Lead me to the evil.
Yeah, all right, cool. Come on.
Three by three, bring
thy souls unto thee.
From hence we can, shall we return.
Bring back the darkness
to watch the world burn.
This tastes like pure shit!
When do we stop fucking puking!
Yeah, why not?
Witches? Walking statues? Sure.
Ah, shit! I thought we killed you!
Die, demon!
I would like to banquish you!
Banquish! Banquishing!
Banquish!
Okay. Fair enough.
Oh Yeah, take those
bodies back, you idiots.
Time to kill the witches, Harmony!
Witches!
Yes, kill the witches,
but don't kill the girls.
Don't kill the bodies the witches are in.
The Harmony is confusing.
Why are you stonewalling
me? You're like talking to a w-
Stop! Your lips are
buttery and full of lies.
Enough! I am made to kill
witches, you fat Harmony.
I will squash them like
bugs! Hello evil bug!
Now you will see the
execution of the world!
Harmony, one has escaped!
Rrrr, let go of me, you tentacle witch!
Rrrr, let go!
Rrrr, I shall destroy you!
I will take great pleasure in killing you.
Ah, get in line
You'll pay for that.
Cersei! Get out of here!
You must succumb to death, quietly
How do you like it? Weed killer!
Ah!
Fuck you, Treebeard!
I'm fucking Frodo!
Statue man!
Freedom!
Save Morgan and the
girls. I'll fight these witches.
As you wish, soft compatriot!
What the fuck are you?
Your death.
Air Witch, prepare for DEATH!
There is no match for stone!
You are weak, Witch!
Witch!
You
What the fuck are you?
Have no fear, for Trevor Harmony
has sent me here to protect you.
Okay. You've got a name?
I am nameless from the darkness.
Okay. I'm Morgan. You're Slater.
Ow, fuck!
Be careful!
We're in a fucking cemetery?!
Where's Morgan?
Cersei! You're alive!
What the hell?
You guys, what's going on?
I have a fucking headache.
She chewed my brain like Hubba Bubba!
Um... What do we do?
Where's Morgan?
We have to do something.
I feel like this is all my fault.
I mean, it's not entirely your fault.
How are you supposed to
know that Angela was a witch?
Well... She told me.
I thought she was kidding. I thought
she meant she was a lesbian...
Like me.
Finally.
How long were you gonna deny that?
Okay okay guys. We have to do something.
My soul hurts. Does that make sense?
And is anyone gonna talk about the fact
that Trevor was fighting a tree back there?
It's been a long night.
Ah! Fucking Jesus! Ah!
Ah! Fuck! Ah you need a breath bit!
Hey.
Where'd you get a gun?
Dead Levi.
What the fuck is that?
No, no, he's cool.
He's cool. This is Slater.
Slater, this is, um,
Jenny, Amber, and Cersei.
It is my pleasure, ladies.
Do you have genitalia?
Cersei, what? That's a personal question.
But, I mean, do you?
I am a blood oath activated automaton.
I am here to defend the Harmony.
In his time of need, he
has sent me to protect you.
So that's a talking statue?
I don't know. I'm...
Where's Trevor?
Holy shit!
The soft one approaching!
I'm fine.
Trevor, what the hell is going on?
Are we dead?
Where are we?
Where did he come from?
H-how does he work?! Where those witches?
Does hell exist?
Oh my God, are vampires real?
Yes, what is real?
Is heaven real?
Does anyone's mouth taste
mouth taste like hobo semen?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Evil has returned!
My name is Trevor Harmony.
I'm the last of my bloodline.
For over 200 years,
my family has fought evil.
I vow from this day forward
to rid the world of you.
You ain't bringing back the darkness.
You ain't bringing back shit.
I'm gonna hunt each and every one of you evil
motherfuckers down on this planet and extinguish you.
Yeah, bitch!
Are you done?
Yeah.
Hey!
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Ow!
Bring on the day! I love to fight!
I'll kill you!
I'll kill you!
Squish!
Fuck you, dick fingers!
I was a cheer captain for six years.
Air Witch, we meet again!
Your weak wind will
never defeat me, Air Witch!
Cut his head off! My pleasure!
Fuck you!
Amber, that was awesome.
I'm really discovering myself today.
You, you, I think I have
the hots for the statue.
Talk about rock hard.
Cut his head off!
Okay, we should go, we should go, go.
Catch!
Oh, yes, Harmony
Smash her with my instruments!
Smash the evil!
Smash her!
Behold! I am the bringer of death!
Oh, shut up!
You girls okay?
No.
I'm afraid it is time for me to
return to the darkness, round one.
Wait, really?
Ladies, it was my pleasure.
Call me again should you
idiots cause the apocalypse.
Okay, so now what?
Well, now that you're all caught up.
Suck on this!
grandpa, Reynold Harmony.
And not to sound selfish with
him about to kick the bucket and all,
spoiler alert,
destiny is about to do
a mic drop into my nuts.
I'm actually a highly educated biologist.
I graduated at the top of my class,
Trevor Harmony, Valictorian,
and look where it got me.
It all started after college.
Come here, little man. Hard for me to talk.
God damn Alzheimer's... can barely
string two congruent thoughts together.
So I better make this quick
before I short out again.
You're... now how shall I put this lightly?
Such a goddamn
motherfucking disappointment!
Say what you want about the old
man. He knew how to get a point across.
What do you mean?
I have a master's degree in cytosubiology.
I'm going to Alaska to study orcas.
Such a goddamn disappointment.
Whale mating?
I'm not sure I follow.
You know good goddamn well
what I mean, you little shithead.
You're a harmony.
It's been passed down from the
eldest born male for 11 generations.
Trevor, you're a good boy.
Always been a man of your word.
A trait you probably got from me.
You see, we're not
just a family of janitors.
We're more, way more.
What I'm gonna tell you
has been passed down
from Harmony Man to
Harmony Man for 275 years.
I had no idea what he was about to say
or how important it would
be, but I could see it in his eyes
that this revelation was about
to change my world forever.
It seemed like my eyes were
about to be open for the first time.
That it was all about to make sense.
The axe holds the keys. Keys. Keys.
Baseball bat.
Get away from me, demons.
I will destroy you.
Trevor, there you are.
Keep running. They'll kill us all.
Who will?
The werewolves. Witches. Zombies.
Oh, this shit again.
Witches. Zombies.
Margo... Margo...
Alzheimer's is a bitch.
And Margo's his car.
And this is Margo.
That I own.
It's okay.
Thanks Gramps, Thanks.
I hate you girls. I hate you girls.
I hate all of you.
From valedictorian to
sorority house janitor.
Fucking hate you.
And my life.
Someone get the door. Jesus.
I'm not getting it.
I'm not getting it, Amber's
trucker shits clogged the toilet.
No I didn't!
Don't worry, I'll get it.
Even though no one else
seems to care, Trevor, I still do.
Rumpy Gans is at the door.
Maura, isn't it for you?
I need to get dressed. And no,
Cersei's the one that clogged the toilet.
Hey, Jenny.
Hi, Trevor.
Let me guess. Toilet?
Toilet.
Mm.
Which bathroom?
Upstairs.
That's great.
I just don't understand... What is that?
I don't know.
Let's hurry, Trevi.
I've replaced orcas with turds and tampons.
It's fine. It's fine. It's all fine.
Ugh. Seriously, dude,
just fix the thing already.
What is in here?
What do they do?
I know, right? If you actually did something instead of
standing there yelling at the toilet, you'd be done already.
Yeah, you may have some anger issues and you may want to see somebody
about that because my psychologist says that stress can lead to anger.
And anger can lead to a heart attack.
Thanks Yoda.
Who's Yoda?
Her name is Grace.
What?
You've never seen Star Wars?
Jenny!
Jenny, hello? Jenny, hello?
Hi, Jenny.
Oh, hey, guys.
God, I've been calling
your name for like an hour.
What are you doing?
Just...
Yes, Jenny, what are you doing?
I was just gonna go to English.
Is that my biology book?
Yes.
Did you get my homework done?
No, but that's because I had
an essay to do this morning.
I'll get yours done at lunch.
I don't have time, Jenny.
I need it in like an hour.
God, I swear, if you mess up my grade in biology
and I fail and I don't get my dad's money,
I will strangle you with a telephone cord.
I'm just kidding. I would never do that.
But I so would if I don't
get my dad's money.
You don't want to get kicked
out of the sorority, do you?
Well...
Where are you going to go?
Alphabet and dog face? I mean, really.
It's not even a real sorority.
Cram it, Jenny. Get my homework
done. Seriously. Go. Now.
Circey, come on. Grace
and Moria are waiting for us.
Bye, Jenny. Love you. Don't change.
JK, LOL. Like, change a little.
Go on a diet or something.
But you're beautiful.
Why do you let those
girls talk to you like that?
Sadly, those are the only friends I got.
Jenny.
You need new friends.
Yeah.
See? Idiots.
Well, I mean, librarians are friends.
And Trevor-Trevor's a friend, I think.
And then there's... Morgan?
Fuckin' fuck, man.
Come on, what, seriously?
Aw, man.
Amber! Fuck...
What do we have here?
What the fuck?
Reynold and Heidi Harmony...
Dad.
That's mine now.
Fuck you, girl.
Ah!
Oh, damn, Angela!
Yes?
Well, don't be scared, little kitty.
I have to leave for a few days on business.
Vampire convention?
Wisecracks will only get you so far.
I was going to study whales.
That's nice.
Did you get the toilet fixed?
I did. And I'm so happy to have
accomplished something in my life.
Keep it up.
You might do really well in life,
if you don't have a heart
attack or something stupid.
I am smart.
I am beautiful. I will overcome everything.
Flawless.
Ladies, we have two days before pledge day.
We have pledges to seek and hazing to do.
My favorite part.
Cersei, where do we stand with sign-ups?
Huh? Hello?
None.
None?
No one wants to sign up with us
because they hear we're bitches.
We are. But so what? Who isn't?
Jenny isn't. Neither is Morgan.
Morgan?
Lesbo, if you ask me.
Amber? That's mean.
She likes girls.
Like, have you ever seen her with a man?
Lesbo. Hello?
Gross.
You literally make out with
your best friend when she's drunk.
That's different.
Right.
I'm not a lesbo.
Aw, and I'm an Astronaut Boop.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Uh, uh, what's...
Yeah!
Please.
Please.
Heidi Harmony and Trevor Agent 2.
Mom and Dad.
What is this?
What is this?
Washington, two dens.
Colorado, nine covens.
New York, unlimited...
limited sectors?
Too much?
What
Whoa!
Goonies never say die.
Sagittarius, you are going
to be extremely successful.
This could prove to be one of
your most adventurous years.
Your free spirit and love of nature
will prove useful in the coming months.
And although you'll fight inner demons,
your true nature will come to light.
See, so things are looking up.
My true nature.
What is it, Amber?
Nothing.
What?
I just...
I don't know. It's scary.
Understanding your true self
is always complicated, Amber.
Amber, you are so special.
I...
What are you doing?
What?
I...
Do you like me?
No.
I was just messing.
Oh, you're getting so sentimental on me.
Oh, no.
OK, because for a second
there, I was like, what?
What?
Ew. Gross. That's gross. No.
You think I like girls? You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
OK.
All right.
You're funny.
Good one.
All right, go to
bed.
Go to bed.
Oh my God.
Hi Trevor.
Hey Jenny.
I told him you were gonna be pissed.
Oh, that's great. Which bathroom?
Upstairs.
Great.
Wasn't me? I don't flush tampons.
What? What? Gross. Seriously? Come on! Why?
It wasn't. It Wasn't Ugh!
Seriously?
Seriously?
Seriously?
Yay! That fixed it.
What?
What?
I hate you girls. I hate all of you!
Fuck, man.
Seriously?
Ugh!
Ugh!
Pfft!
What?
Looks like Gringotts up in this bitch!
Hey.
Buddy, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Stop it!
What? You were sleeping.
I'm not sleeping! I'm on a shelf!
Does it look like I'm taking a nap?!
If you need my hammer, it's in
my ass. There's a door over there.
- What?
- Come on.
We gotta move this.
Jesus.
Do you wanna help?!
You want help?
You look like you had it under control.
I don't.
Oh my god, what was that made of?
Why the hell is there a door here?
We're gonna find out.
Okay.
Do you want a flashlight?
Yeah.
You go.
What do you think this is?
I think it's a hallway.
Come on.
Clearly.
This
is...
Sorry.
Does this feel like we're going down?
This might be like under the backyard.
Ew.
A door.
Holy smokes, man.
What?
Open it.
No, I can't.
There's a huge lock on it.
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What, what, what, what?
Oh, my God.
I just found this key yesterday.
What?
Try it.
No.
Yes.
OK.
Oh, my God.
What?
No way, dude.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, go.
Okay.
Ah!
Ah!
God!
Are you coming?
Yeah.
Hey.
What?
Sorry.
Don't say anything.
Mum's the word.
Mum's the word?
What the fuck does that even mean?
You know, like, don't say anything.
It's like Bob's your uncle.
What?
How the fuck do you know Bob's my uncle?
How would
How would I know that
you have an Uncle Bob?
I don't even know your family.
Okay. Well, I do. His name is
Robert, actually, but Mom's the word.
Bob's your uncle.
Dude.
This is amazing.
I want this room.
That's probably a bad idea.
No, this must be where the old sorority
held their meetings and pledge nights,
fingering each other and shit.
Ew.
Yeah, right before
they sacrificed the virgins.
Look at that.
No, no, no, no.
Have bad feelings in here.
Bad, bad, bad feelings.
Wait, can
Oh my, will you stop being a baby?
This is awesome. This must
be the original pledge book.
- I don't think so.
- Yeah,
I think it is.
- No.
- I'm
Okay.
Okay, alright. Well, don't
listen to me. I'm a big fat idiot.
Wait for me.
No, no, no. No, no.
Try this.
Oh, yes.
Get out of here.
Ugh, here.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
You all right?
You look a little bit woozy.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
What?
That was like a white squall.
Is this made of human
flesh?
No, it's like cow or goat or something.
Why would it be human?
Oh, I don't know, it's
just a shot in the dark.
Are you sure it's not human flesh?
Well, no, but no, no,
no, I'm sure it's not human.
What is that?! Oh, hey Trevor
We found this in a secret
room in the basement.
Mum's the word.
Bob's your uncle.
His name is Touchy.
Wait, a secret room in the what?
Yeah, we have like a whole
set of rooms under the house.
We do?
Yeah, it's awesome.
Stop talking!
So what is that?
I think it might be the
original sorority pledge book.
I don't know, I'm not sure though.
It might be something else entirely.
I wanna take it to the
school and look it up.
If that is the original Omega
Zeta pledge book, I want it now.
It's literally right here.
We're not holding the hostage.
Give it.
Give it!
It's right here.
Yeah, literally just walk
over here and look at it.
No! Ugh! Give it to me. I'm
taking it to my room to read.
UH What?
First of all, it's like
in Latin or something.
And second of all, we need to examine it.
We should call Angela and tell her.
Tell me what.
Jesus!
Angela, hi.
We found this awesome book
and we have like a whole
set of rooms under the house.
Thank you, Trevor.
Well, this is very interesting,
but I think we should
leave it here for now.
And Amber, if you wanna read it,
and I mean really read it,
you should do it right here.
No, no, I wanna take it to
my room to read. It'll be fine.
No, no, no, no, it's very old.
And it's getting late.
Trevor, whatever you're
doing here to maintenance,
you can do tomorrow
morning. You may leave now.
What, no, I'm, hey,
no, I wanna, I'm also...
The book will be here tomorrow.
Girls, clean up and do your homework.
Really?
Really.
Trevor.
Thank you so much for finding that book.
It'll finally help the girls understand
their reasons for being here.
How long do you think it was down there?
Too long.
It's time I set things right.
Okay.
You have a boner.
Who doesn't?
Am I right? That was hot.
Sigh
Reynolds, I'm writing you to inform you
that we have failed.
Some of us did not make it out,
including Harvey and Heidi.
I'm truly sorry.
Hence it came of courage and grace,
for the magic they bestow
is from an ancient place.
What?
They are not to be trifled
with. They too are magic born.
If it is evil you cast,
that shall be your last.
The of the name did not be harmed
to the protectors of the cursed,
for they have stopped many.
What?
They be named Harmony.
Then I'm the stoned one... Okay,
yep. You're right. You're right.
I'm the stoner. I'm the loser.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
I'm dreaming.
What?
You have an erection again.
It's a compliment.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Hey guys, the floor is still wet.
Okay, thank you.
Wow, this place is intense.
I like it this way.
Have you never seen my room before?
No.
I would have taken you
for a blue kind of person.
What do you mean?
Like your aura.
I feel like you're blue.
Like you seem blue.
Why blue, dear?
I don't know.
Do you see everyone's auras?
No, I don't think so. But I
think Morgan's a lesbian.
That's not the same thing.
Well, she has that vibe. Like, when I see her, her aura's like
yellow. Like sunburst. Like I see a sunburst when I look at her.
That's very interesting.
I know, right?
Yeah.
Well, do you believe in magic then?
Yes, yes, I believe we
all have magic inside of us.
Like we are one with the universe.
Like we can talk to the earth.
And why do you feel this way?
Because I have since I was a little girl.
This one time my mom
caught me talking to a ghost.
I can like see things.
Ghost.
Looking
Yeah, I know. It's stupid. I just
thought I was meant for bigger things.
Maybe you are.
Yeah, maybe.
I want to show you something.
Okay. Wait, I don't know if I'm
ready for this. No, no, go ahead.
This is called...
The Book of Shadows - What?
What did you think was happening?
Nothing.
That's like a journal, right?
It is.
Good job.
I had one when I was a little girl.
But my dad didn't like
it, so he threw it out.
Men can be so destructive.
Right?
Do you like men?
Well, that's a hard question.
I've been with men before.
But I never want to get
attached to one for too long.
I was with two guys.
How was that?
Well, I don't know. Clumsy.
They thought they were amazing.
They always did.
In this book, I can show you great things,
but sacrifices will have to be made.
Nothing's free.
That's very true.
How many pledges do we have tonight?
All of one.
That's all we need.
And then we can grow exponentially.
I'm gonna show you so much, Amber.
But I know it's gonna seem kind of weird.
But I feel that you're
open to some suggestions.
Hey, Char, where you going?
I was just leaving.
You better run, 'cause I'm
about to fuck up some shizzit!
Shit!
I will cut you like a fucking pig!
Ah!
Ah!
Stop!
I do what she says and get the fuck out.
Now let's have a little fun.
Well, I guess we don't have any pledges.
That's normal.
I can't believe our
one pledge didn't show.
Is she acting weird to anybody else?
Right?
Yeah.
What is that?
Um, I think that's the
original pledge book.
No pledges?
Okay, well, Jenny, you're up, sweetheart.
It's your lucky day.
What's happening?
Come, girls. Let me show
you what I've done for you.
Stop!
If I tell you to stop, I mean it.
The hazings go like this.
Jenny, start.
Strip her down to her underwear.
What? No, no, no, no, no, I
don't think I'm ready for that.
Come on, It'll be fun.
Eh, define fun.
Huh?
No.
Amber, make Jenny cooperate.
Oh okay
What?
You have no idea how much you like.
Oh, uh...
It's just hazing. It'll be fun.
Don't worry. Nothing will happen.
Wait, are you Menzies?
What? No.
Good.
Okay.
Let's go
do it.
Pants.
I got it. Thank you. Thank
you. I can do this part.
And get on the table.
It will all be over soon.
And you will be free as it does.
Yes, yes.
I'm sorry.
Now!
No.
Grace, hold her wrists tightly.
Grace!
I said hold her wrists tightly now.
It's Hazing! Fuck!
Are we not all getting naked?
No, put your clothes on, dufus.
Cersei Maura, you hold her feet.
Amber, hold her down.
What is that noise?
Is that screaming coming from outside?
I don't hear anything.
Oh, my God.
But after tonight, we'll all be sisters.
And we will be more powerful
than you could ever imagine.
What is happening?
By way of the three and the power of three,
I unleash thee from your tomb!
Come forth, O Great One,
and give your power unto me!
Are you ready?
Yes.
I'm not.
What the fuck?
What the shit are you guys doing?
Jenny, you'll all be dead soon enough.
What? Did you just say?
Okay.
God, why is everyone getting naked?
Cersei, put your fucking hands on!
God, guys!
It's getting a little nuts in here.
Girls! Follow suit.
Cersei first.
- Ow.
- Squeeze!
Yeah, I'd like to get up now.
Can someone please
hand me my fucking clothes?
I'm not drinking that.
I was at a party once, only
there was a bunch of dudes and...
Let's just say I'll never do that again.
Because now I have genital warts.
Gross! Ew, Grace.
Wait, you used to date my boyfriend.
What the fuck, Grace?
Ah!
Okay.
Good girl.
Good girl.
Ah!
Oh, man.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh,
my God.
Is that a...
Is that a human heart?
Oh.
Oh,
my God.
No, my dear. It's a lamb's heart.
Oh, that's better.
What?
What?
What?
Stop it!
What?
What the fuck?
Shit is happening!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Can someone please
give me my fucking clothes?
Yeah.
I summon the sisters.
I summon the four sisters of destruction.
Come to us.
Use us and your children.
They will fulfill our destinies.
Can I get up now?
I said, shut up.
And you will drink from
the chalice, the blood.
Mm-mm.
So my sisters can enter this realm.
Mm
Oh, oh.
What is happening?
Screaming
You dare summon us?
My queen!
I am your servant!
I summon for the sake of evil!
There are none other than us.
I have awaited your return!
Well, we have returned.
I like this one.
Okay, so my parents are dead.
My grandpa's dead.
I have no answer.
There's a hidden room and
some book wrapped in flesh.
And everything's leading
to one impossible answer.
Demon Hunter.
Where are our bodies?
What?
Our bodies, our true forms.
Jenny, it's me. It's Gra ce.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
What year is it?
According to this one, it's 2020.
About the right time
to turn the world to shit.
Won't have to do much work.
We have company.
Music: Intensifying music
In case you haven't
caught on by now, I'm the-
Hey, Trevi!
Where's your boner now?
Huh? You dead? Alive?
That hurt a lot!
Poor baby!
Shh... It'll be over soon. Just like that.
There's my boner right
beside your head, biatch!
What's wrong with your foreheads?
Trevor, you're always such a...
Loser! That's the word.
God, this girl's got all kinds of
emotions going on up here. Like, crazy.
Amber, what the hell?
Kill him now?
This one has a soft
hearrt for him. Leave him.
He'll die tomorrow when we end the world.
What did you say?
Bye, Trevy.
Morgan!
Amber!
Cersei!
Jenny!
Hey!
What the hell?
Hey, you ladies lost.
You want a ride?
Amber.
Do you know where Rebook Cemetery is?
Well, babe, I'm Ken,
and this is my dog Levi.
And what's going on with your forehead?
You wear like a hat too tight or something?
Well, do you know?
Me? I..I don't know.
You mean Old Town?
Bow to me.
Do you know where the cemetery
Do you know where the
Cemetery is or do you not?
Yes! Yes! You crazy bitch! Yes!
Take us there.
Gross!
It's about time, loser. This is
your destiny. So don't fuck it up!
And Bob's your uncle.
I guess destiny does find a way.
Amber, perhaps one should not kill a victim
until the resources of said
victim have been drained.
I know.
At first I was all like I wasn't going to,
but then I was, so I did.
I'll focus and try harder next time.
That's fine.
Levi, you really need to hold it together
and stop being such a little bitch
Well, why can't I stop driving!
Get out.
Please don't kill me.
Please, please, please don't kill me.
Levi.
What did Amber say?
Don't be such a bitch.
I can help you.
How?
I don't know.
And, um, bring you coffee or
do your laundry or something.
Fine.
Come, Servant.
Where is the cemetery?
Right through there,
but I said we're closed.
You gotta come back around 9:00 AM.
Morgan?
What are we doing?
Well hello handsome.
Harmony.
Welcome home.
Not so fast, ladies!
Attack!
Fuck!
Stronger than a trashcan.
Noted
Jenny!
Get. Off. Me!
I don't want to have to kill you girls!
Okay.
Can we kill him now?
Just can't yet.
So adorable.
Wow, this girl is like
really liking this guy.
Come on.
Is he gonna be okay?
He's not alive. Technically.
Ow!
Ladies, seriously, Morgan, I
don't want to have to kill you girls.
Didn't hurt.
Well this isn't where I saw this going.
Seriously, guys!
- No!
- No!
You are resilient.
You're welcome. Cunt punch!
Hey Janitor.
That was intense.
Want to help kill some demons?
What the fuck?
Offering... Accepted!
Trevor harmony has
summoned me to destroy evil.
Lead me to the evil.
Yeah, all right, cool. Come on.
Three by three, bring
thy souls unto thee.
From hence we can, shall we return.
Bring back the darkness
to watch the world burn.
This tastes like pure shit!
When do we stop fucking puking!
Yeah, why not?
Witches? Walking statues? Sure.
Ah, shit! I thought we killed you!
Die, demon!
I would like to banquish you!
Banquish! Banquishing!
Banquish!
Okay. Fair enough.
Oh Yeah, take those
bodies back, you idiots.
Time to kill the witches, Harmony!
Witches!
Yes, kill the witches,
but don't kill the girls.
Don't kill the bodies the witches are in.
The Harmony is confusing.
Why are you stonewalling
me? You're like talking to a w-
Stop! Your lips are
buttery and full of lies.
Enough! I am made to kill
witches, you fat Harmony.
I will squash them like
bugs! Hello evil bug!
Now you will see the
execution of the world!
Harmony, one has escaped!
Rrrr, let go of me, you tentacle witch!
Rrrr, let go!
Rrrr, I shall destroy you!
I will take great pleasure in killing you.
Ah, get in line
You'll pay for that.
Cersei! Get out of here!
You must succumb to death, quietly
How do you like it? Weed killer!
Ah!
Fuck you, Treebeard!
I'm fucking Frodo!
Statue man!
Freedom!
Save Morgan and the
girls. I'll fight these witches.
As you wish, soft compatriot!
What the fuck are you?
Your death.
Air Witch, prepare for DEATH!
There is no match for stone!
You are weak, Witch!
Witch!
You
What the fuck are you?
Have no fear, for Trevor Harmony
has sent me here to protect you.
Okay. You've got a name?
I am nameless from the darkness.
Okay. I'm Morgan. You're Slater.
Ow, fuck!
Be careful!
We're in a fucking cemetery?!
Where's Morgan?
Cersei! You're alive!
What the hell?
You guys, what's going on?
I have a fucking headache.
She chewed my brain like Hubba Bubba!
Um... What do we do?
Where's Morgan?
We have to do something.
I feel like this is all my fault.
I mean, it's not entirely your fault.
How are you supposed to
know that Angela was a witch?
Well... She told me.
I thought she was kidding. I thought
she meant she was a lesbian...
Like me.
Finally.
How long were you gonna deny that?
Okay okay guys. We have to do something.
My soul hurts. Does that make sense?
And is anyone gonna talk about the fact
that Trevor was fighting a tree back there?
It's been a long night.
Ah! Fucking Jesus! Ah!
Ah! Fuck! Ah you need a breath bit!
Hey.
Where'd you get a gun?
Dead Levi.
What the fuck is that?
No, no, he's cool.
He's cool. This is Slater.
Slater, this is, um,
Jenny, Amber, and Cersei.
It is my pleasure, ladies.
Do you have genitalia?
Cersei, what? That's a personal question.
But, I mean, do you?
I am a blood oath activated automaton.
I am here to defend the Harmony.
In his time of need, he
has sent me to protect you.
So that's a talking statue?
I don't know. I'm...
Where's Trevor?
Holy shit!
The soft one approaching!
I'm fine.
Trevor, what the hell is going on?
Are we dead?
Where are we?
Where did he come from?
H-how does he work?! Where those witches?
Does hell exist?
Oh my God, are vampires real?
Yes, what is real?
Is heaven real?
Does anyone's mouth taste
mouth taste like hobo semen?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Evil has returned!
My name is Trevor Harmony.
I'm the last of my bloodline.
For over 200 years,
my family has fought evil.
I vow from this day forward
to rid the world of you.
You ain't bringing back the darkness.
You ain't bringing back shit.
I'm gonna hunt each and every one of you evil
motherfuckers down on this planet and extinguish you.
Yeah, bitch!
Are you done?
Yeah.
Hey!
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Ow!
Bring on the day! I love to fight!
I'll kill you!
I'll kill you!
Squish!
Fuck you, dick fingers!
I was a cheer captain for six years.
Air Witch, we meet again!
Your weak wind will
never defeat me, Air Witch!
Cut his head off! My pleasure!
Fuck you!
Amber, that was awesome.
I'm really discovering myself today.
You, you, I think I have
the hots for the statue.
Talk about rock hard.
Cut his head off!
Okay, we should go, we should go, go.
Catch!
Oh, yes, Harmony
Smash her with my instruments!
Smash the evil!
Smash her!
Behold! I am the bringer of death!
Oh, shut up!
You girls okay?
No.
I'm afraid it is time for me to
return to the darkness, round one.
Wait, really?
Ladies, it was my pleasure.
Call me again should you
idiots cause the apocalypse.
Okay, so now what?
Well, now that you're all caught up.
Suck on this!