Space Babes from Outer Space (2017) Movie Script
1
But Mom, you promised!
I know I did Charlie, but I'm
sorry, I've gotta go to work.
I'll have grandpa tell you a
bedtime story, okay?
Okay.
Come on, grandpa is good at
telling stories.
You brush them toofs?
Yes mama.
Wash them pits?
Yes mama.
Trim that beard?
Get out of here with that!
Now you be a good boy for grandpa, go to
sleep and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
After my bed time story.
Yes, after your story.
Love you.
Love you.
What the fuck was that for?
Because I need you to listen for a minute dad,
I got called in, I need you to watch Charlie.
Listen, he's already in bed, he brushed his teeth, but I
promised him a bed time story, so I need you to do that for me.
A bed time story, are you
fucking kidding me?
No, I'm not, a bed time story.
You're raising that kid to be a
pussy you know?
What do you want me to do next,
make him a ba ba, powder his ass,
say goo goo ga ga and all that
shit?
The kid needs a fucking job!
Listen dad, don't do it for me,
do it for Charlie.
You're old, impart some wisdom on him, tell
him what it was like when Moses was around,
I don't care just get it done,
please.
Thank you.
Look dad, can you just not fuck
this up, okay? I'm serious.
Okay kiddo, mom say's I gotta tell you a bed
time story, are you ready for this shit?
Yeah grandpa, tell me a good
one.
Well I can tell you there ain't nothing good in this
pile. Nothing but a bunch of pussified horse shit.
How about I tell you an adult
fairy tale.
An adult fairy tale?
Well yeah. I mean if you think
that's something you're up for.
You don't want me to read you one of
those pussy little baby stories do ya?
No.
Well okay then. This story
starts with a guy named Charlie.
Hey that's my name.
Yep, mine too.
No, your name's grandpa.
Well I'm grandpa to you, to
other folks I'm Charlie.
And this Charlie, he was about to have
the most amazing night of his life.
A night kind of like this one. But
this story starts in outer space.
Computer!
Oh hey babes, sorry about the
rude awakening.
But it seems our force field has been compromised,
and we've got a baddy right on our tail.
I'm going to go ahead and
suggest we take evasive action.
Monitors up. Come on Space Babes, let's
see what we're up against this time.
All right! Dinner time! Three
BLT's! Butts, legs, and titties!
It's another scrote!
Well that really puts a wrinkle
in our plans.
Gloss up babes, it's time to
play ball.
Prepare for death Space Babes,
there is no chance to escape!
A space Babe is always prepared. But death isn't
on the agenda today yam bag. At least, not for us.
Hey Babes I don't want to sound testy, but I think we might
be dealing with a bigger load than we can handle this time.
We got a second scrote about to join the
party, and he's coming in hard and fast!
They always do seem to come in
pairs.
Weapon's on standby.
Armed and ready!
Fire!
Ragyna!
On it!
Computer, can you stabalize?
No Babes, they've got us pretty good.
Frankly, I'm all out of ideas.
Typical. Here goes nothing.
Engage stalking mode!
They're right on our tail!
Hope they enjoy the view.
Weapon's on standby.
Fire!
Computer, status update!
Energy levels are depleted and their weapons are
recharging. It's been nice knowing you Space Babes.
It's now or never Babes.
Hold onto your hooters Babes.
Things might get a little silly.
Weapons recharging. Fire in
three!
Two!
Spaaaaace Baaaaaaaabes!
The male of our species never did amount to much. The
start of their existence is shrouded in mystery.
But it is important to our future, to understand the way
they were, and the way they were finally disposed of.
For as long as time has been recorded, they have
been regarded at unsavory, unruly, and uncivilized.
This was due to what was later dubbed,
the greates mistake of our maker.
They had the numbers, but we had
the brains.
The more their agenda became clear, the
easier it became to manipulate them.
It wasn't until the year 3,000 that
their true desires were firmly exploited,
and their reign of terror was put
to an end by a group of brave babes.
These babes lured them into a large
craft with the promise of a free trip.
To a newly discovered planet filled with
sandwiches, as far as the eye could see.
But unfortunately, due to a
mathmatical error-
They didn't make it.
But perhaps even more
unfortunate, some did survive.
Now having gone many years
without a sandwich.
And more importantly, without
the influence of babes,
the fiew remaining survivors raidly
devolved into their true forms.
The forms in which we know them
to be today.
They must be avoided at all
costs.
They are unable to be reasoned with, and
will stop at nothing to get what they want.
And that is exactly why we can't
chance it Vanassa.
Look, I'm not exactly excited about it
either, but what else are we supposed to do?
We don't have enough energy to
make it anywhere else.
Computer, bring the monitor back
up.
Sure thing!
Wow it sure looks inviting!
Inviting or not, there is no way
we are going down there.
So what, you just want to stay put
until we run out of energy completely?
Pushing that button blasted us so far out into the backwoods
of the universe that we have no choice but to go down there.
Then you shouldn't have pushed the button, it was
pretty clear about not wanting to be pushed.
And what, let those bean bags
blast us to smithereens?
At least we're light years away
from them now.
Sometimes you have to put yourself into a little
bit of danger to escape an immediate threat.
Look, I know that neither of you remember the scrotes the
days before the sandwiching, but trust me. You don't want to.
That film pales in comparison to
how bad they really were,
and there's no reason to believe the men on
this planet won't be just as bad. Or worse!
Come on Ragyna, they can't all
be that bad.
Oh yes! Yes they can be!
Computer, you're sure we can
refuel on this rock?
According to the limited
information I have in my database,
the creatures that inhabit it do seem to
occasionally broadcast an energy source that shows
a strong possibility of working as a
direct alternate to our host energy source.
Unfortunately I am unable to pinpoint exactly
what it is, or when it is broadcast.
But your communicators have been reprogrammed with the ability
to track it, and harvest it once you are on it's surface.
Well then it's settled.
Computer, please dress us in current Earth
fashions and bring us down, nice and easy.
All right, come on. Franky,
everybody, get in here.
Time to eat.
Jeeze, where did you come from?
Go get with your friends.
Gotta grow nice and strong,
everybody eat.
Oh yeah. Say hello to daddy
sugar tits.
What's that girl? You want me to
do what?
Here?
Okay, you're the boss.
Holy shit, what the hell was
that?
Something ain't right.
Come on Babes, dial up your
communicators to scanning mode.
The sooner we can find this energy
source, the sooner we can get back home.
Holy asteroids, space women!
Three of them!
Oh man, oh man, oh man, the things
I can do with three space women?
Dear Penthouse!
Wait a second, I think I'm
picking something up.
Yeah, me too.
Me three, follow me Babes.
Thank you Jesus.
Thank you space Jesus!
There it is.
Shit, oh shit.
Stay!
Don't shoot.
Don't you shoot mister!
Hang on Babes, I don't think
that's a weapon.
Hey, watch it!
No, definitely not a gun, but definitely the
source of the energy we've been looking for.
Then harvest it.
On it, switching over to
extraction mode.
Extraction mode?
Touch it! Touch it first!
What?
Absolutely not!
Why not?
Because we don't even know what
it is. It could be dangerous.
Use Protection!
I got a rubber in my wallet.
I don't need any protection. I'm
not afraid of this thing.
Greetings Earth creature. My
name is Carrieola.
Oh man.
He died?
No, he just fainted.
What did she do to him?
Well Charlie he fainted because what Carrieola did to
him made him feel something he'd never felt before.
Huh?
I know you don't think much of
girls right now but-
Heck no I don't, girls are
gross!
Well I guarantee ya, you know years
to come, your opinion is gonna change.
Blech!
Well we can wrap it right now if
ya want ya know. He died.
The end. Go the fuck to sleep.
Is that what you want?
No, it's fine. I want to know
what happens next.
Well okay then.
He fainted, and the babes didn't
know what to do about it.
So they moved him over to a nice soft pile of
hay, and tried to figure out what to do next.
Is it okay?
I don't know. But the energy source we
were detecting is nowhere to be found now.
Why did you touch it?
Because you told me to.
I did not!
Okay, scan complete, uploading
now.
Whatever it was, we'll know soon
enough.
Hang on Babes. I think it's
waking up.
All right Earthling, where did
you hide it?
Hide what?
The energy source you were
broadcasting.
Broadcasting?
Yeah, broadcasting. Your antenna was out, and
we picked up your signal, loud and clear.
Antenna?
For Salzaron's sake.
Computer, can we get those scan
results please?
Sure thing Space Babes!
Hang on, scan results? What did
you do to me?
Computer: This is a hard one, Babes.
Unlike anything in my database.
Come on stop beating around the bush,
just tell us what we're dealing with here.
The appendage of the Earthling does seem to be the
carrier of the alternate energy source you are after.
Well duh, but the signal's gone
limp. How do we get it back up?
Wait, hang on a second.
Touch it, touch it again!
My Zob Ragyna.
Actually, that's exactly what I
was gong to suggest.
You can't be serious, what is
this thing?
Now, now, now, now, now, now
hang on a cotton pickin minute!
That thing, is my dick.
And you can't just go around
grabbing them like that!
And even if you could, once you've
grabbed it as many times as you did, well-
You gota give it a minute before
you can grab it again!
It's sensitive.
Explains the tears.
Oh man, hang on a minute. I don't
know where ya'll are from, but-
We're not from here.
Well I am. This here's my parent's barn.
My name's Charlie.
Greetings Charlie, I am Vanassa.
Greetings Charlie, I'm Ragyna.
Wow! That sure is an intersting
way of saying hello ya'll got.
Down here most folks just shake
hands, but-
Now listen. I can hardly make no
damn sense of any of this.
But I think I can help ya'll out
if you'll let me.
Of course Charlie.
The energy that your doo-hicky
picked up, from my dick.
That can make ya'lls ship run and
get ya back home ya say, right?
Yes.
Okay. I think this energy is what
we down here call sexual energy.
Sexual arousal.
But only when his antenna was
out.
Yeah, once your antenna was
retracted the energy source was gone.
That's because that antenna, is
also, my dick.
That's what it does when it's in it's aroused
state. It kinda sticks out like that.
Some fella's call it a boner.
A boner?
Yeah, a boner.
And you're all like this? All of
the men on this planet?
Well yeah, basically I guess.
But hell, I think most everybody's
gonna be turned on by you three.
And we all got wieners.
Wieners?
Yeah! Dicks, cocks, rods.
Wieners!
Then you must take us where we may find more
of these at once. No matter how hard, or long-
Or short!
Or mediocre the journey.
Listen, I got just the place for ya'll. You
Babes stick with me, you'll be home in no time.
Well, then it's settled.
Charlie, we are the Space Babes
from outer space.
We are not from here.
Our visit to your planet was an unfortunate error
on our part while fleeing a most dire situation.
We are here merely out of circumstance.
We wish your planet no inconvenience.
We are not here with any ill
intentions.
No, we are here for your boners.
Your dicks, your cocks, your
rods, now Charlie please!
Take us, to your wieners.
Ladies, welcome to the strip club, A.K.A.
your fueling station.
If you can't find sexual energy
in here, you ain't looking.
Look! Rules are rules.
The shit you two were doing up there was
breaking rules I didn't even know I had!
How the fuck did you get your
foot all the way up-
And was your elbow actually
inside of her-
Aw come on Jerimy, it's Saturday night. You need
all the talent you can get in here right now.
Yeah come on, we were just
having fun.
And where in the hell did you get
so many kumquats this time of year?
Look, you ain't gonna find two other girls
tonight, you know that. We ain't going nowhere.
Oh yeah? You two, you're hired.
If you young ladies would please go see
Danyelle in the dressing room, thanks.
You two, you're fired, get the
fuck out of my bar!
You could at least call us a
cab.
Your legs look fine from here
baby.
Mmmm. Beat it!
Aaahhh!
What are you doing?
I'm trying to pick up the scent!
Uh, we have a computer for that.
Computer. Computer?
You have to be a Space Babe for
that to work.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Computer, can you tell me where
the Space Babes are?
But Carrieola, you're a Space
Babe.
Uh.. Uh.. Uhh..
Tell her you forgot your panties
when you left!
Huh huh, Yeah.
I forgot my panties, and then
um, I had to go poopy.
Okay then, the Space Babes are located at Night
Moves strip club, in Bloomington Indiana.
Huh huh, Huh huh.
Ha ha, ha ha.
To the strip club!
Uh oh, he's right behind me
isn't he?
He sure is.
You scrotes better not be
jerking me around!
Yes sir General Smotch sir! Dick
head! Sir!
Don't be a suck up!
Yep! All right.
Charlie: Okay. Now try not to
worry about your friends.
I know Danyelle, she's a cool
chick.
And with your friends dancing tonight, I'm
sure they'll raise all kinds of energy.
But there's also a lot of emotions
in here that could get in the way.
Carrieola: Emotions?
Yeah, emotions. Jealousy,
desire, lust, love.
Love?
Man I don't know how to explain love to you.
Most people down here don't even understand it.
Can you try?
Look, all I can tell you is what my daddy
told me about being in love when I asked him.
He said Charlie, when you're in
it, you know it.
It's stronger than a grizzly
bear.
And it'll tickle your tummy like a whole
herd of butterflies was just let loose.
He said when you're in love with someone,
there ain't nothing can keep ya apart.
Not even death.
Hey there handsome, care for a
lap dance?
No, not right now. Thank you.
Okay sugar. If you change your
mind come and find me.
My name's Candy.
They call me Candy cause I taste
so sweet.
I'm sensing slight arousal from you
Charlie. Why didn't you go with her?
I don't know. I think I'd rather
just stay with you and talk awhile.
You make me feel smart. And I
like teaching you about Earth.
You are smart, and I like
learning from you.
Now please, tell me what a lap
dance is.
Danyelle: So lap dances are twenty, don't
let the douche bags stiff you either.
Gimmie gimme cash up front, if
you want to sniff this cunt.
And you let 'em sniff it.
It's a great time filler you do that thing, you
just stand there, wiggle it around in their faces.
Every second you're doing that, you're not having
to rub your ass up against their tiny limp peckers.
You two know each other, right?
Yes.
Okay. I'll make sure you get
paired up on stage together then.
On Stage?
Holy shit. You two are green!
Yeah the stage.
It's like window shopping.
For the customers, and for you.
They'll tip you for your dance.
If they like what they see,
they'll wanna go for a lap dance.
So try different stuff, see what
they're responding to.
We got a lot of guys in here
that are into some weird shit.
Yeah, I'd say. I got a guy
that'll pay me to piss on him.
Says it's the only thing that
gets him hard.
He likes it running down his
face, dripping off of his chin.
There's all sorts of weird shit
out there.
Hair, feet, armpit licking, and
pissing.
I learn a new one every day.
And that's when the men get
boners Charlie?
Boners happen all the time in
here.
But yeah, they're most likely
to, come up, during a lap dance.
What about other women?
No!
Women don't have dicks.
At least not, most of them.
No, I mean can a woman get a lap
dance?
Oh sure. And I imagine the
dancers love it when that happens.
Why?
Women are softer.
Women are better mannered.
Women are-
Women are the worst!
They think because they got a set of tits in here that
they can get away with whatever the fuck they want.
They'll reach right up, try and
grab you while you're on stage.
You really gotta watch them,
more than the men.
Give a lap dance to a bitch, she'll try to cram her
filthy toothless mouth on your snatch before you can say-
Two screaming orgasms, courtesy
of Jerimy.
You know he won't admit it, but
your friends really saved his bacon.
We're running pretty low on
talent in here these days.
How are my friends doing?
They're doing great.
They'll actually be up on stage
next set.
Is there anything else that I
can get you two?
No thank you.
Oh!
Just holler if there's anything
else.
Name's Sandy.
You like her don't you?
No, not really.
With her, it's just the curse of
being a man.
Curse?
Yeah, curse.
Take a look around.
Plenty of smokin' hot babes in here,
all of them wearing next to nothing.
All of them willing to take it
off for a few bucks.
And I want to see the waitress
naked.
Because I can't.
Men. Our eyes never get their
fill.
We're constantly looking for
something else.
Especially when it's something
we're not supposed to have.
It's hard to explain but, she's
not who I want right now.
Who do you want right now
Charlie?
Ladies and germs, we got a couple of cherries
in here tonight, ripe for the poppin'!
That's right take those hands off of your dicks,
and do something useful with them for once.
And put 'em together, and give a warm
sticky welcome to Ragyna, and Vanassa.
Well God damn!
I think it's working!
It definitely is, but at this rate it's going
to take us days to get the energy we need.
Well, keep trying things.
Maybe we can come across a fetish or
something, to help raise the level.
Hey baby.
Why don't you come over here and
raise my level?
Hey mister, what turns you on?
Watching you wiggle.
Did you get those panties in
space?
Because that ass is out of this
world.
From the second son of Salzaron
sugar!
What's wrong?
I don't know.
It's like the energy is there, but even with all
these men, it's not nearly as strong as yours was.
Well I guess that's just because a boner made with
love is more powerful than your average boner.
And your boner was made with
love Charlie?
Yeah.
Yeah I think maybe it was.
Damn girl!
Why don't you come over here and
let me suck on them big ole titties?
These big ole titties?
There is one other thing we
could try.
It's kind of the ultimate
display of sexual energy.
Something that we have to do
together.
Oh baby, you are so wet.
You're practically dripping
aren't you?
I got a guy that will pay me to
piss on him.
Oh, you like it wet?
Oh god, do I?
I wanna feel your wetness all
over my face!
I wanna feel it, running down my
chin.
You're so sweet I'd like that.
I'd, love that. Let's do it.
Let's get out of here.
What's wrong?
Look, I know ya'll are in a
hurry to get back home.
But before we can, do it.
You gotta meet my family.
Of course Charlie, I'd love to.
Come on, let's get on with it.
Why don't you pull that string to the
side, let's see how wet you really are.
All right big boy.
Here it comes.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
I can't believe that mother
fucker made us walk.
Uh, we could have called a cab
ourselves ya know?
Uh, and with what money?
We would had money if you didn't stop
and buy all those chicken nuggets.
Well you weren't complaining when you
ate more than half of those bitch!
They're chicken nuggets, what
did you expect?
Hey lady?
Wait, what the fuck was that?
Psst! Hey lady!
Let's not stick around to find
out.
God damn it!
Help me pick up all these
fucking kumsquats skank!
Fuck you, I ain't picking that shit up,
can pick that shit up your damn self.
Pardon me.
Well then you can go fuck off
and die bitch!
Hey come on, let me get some!
What?
Where you going?
Lady!
Don't worry, soon we will feast
on the flesh of Space Babes!
To the strip club!
Dear Lord, we thank you for this
day you've even given us.
We thank you for all the work
you've provided to me.
So I can take care of these,
good for nothin' kids.
And we thank you Jesus, for uh,
the food.
Mother Margo has prepared for
us.
And Lord, we thank ya for
looking over us.
I personally want to thank you,
sweet Jesus.
For Charlie.
Finally bringing home a girl.
It's uh.
Well as you know we've worried for
quite some time that he may be queer.
Verdict's still out on Shawn over there,
but I suppose two out of three ain't bad.
And lastly Jesus, I wanna thank you for makin' sure
that all of us were borned right here in America.
The greatest nation on this here
earth.
Amen to ya.
Amen.
Amen.
So Blondie, you're a uh.
A hooker, right?
Am I a hooker Charlie?
Dad!
I'm just saying!
I mean come on, look at you.
And look at her.
Look at you!
Look at her!
No, no she's not a hooker!
You're not a hooker.
You a cop?
Am I a cop?
No, she's not a cop either!
God damn!
Can we just please, talk about
something normal for once?
I mean, I brought a girl here,
that's kinda rare to do.
Thought you'd all be on your
best behaivor.
How long until that damned
turkey's done?
Your mother shit herself today.
Your mother shit herself today!
Hey Shawn, how was school?
I told you, my name isn't Shawn
anymore.
It's Aztaroth!
Jessica. How was your day?
Oh you know, I got fucked!
Can we have sex now?
Hooker! Definitely a hooker.
Hooker! Ha ha, Hooker ha ha!
Shh. Shh Mama, mama!
I want to introduce you to
Carrieola. She's-
She's not from here.
She needs our wieners!
She needs boners!
To fuel her spaceship!
A spaceship.
That runs.
On.
Boners!
That's nice mama.
That's real nice.
You know when you born Charlie we weren't
sure if you'd be able to have sex ever.
Pecker was so small, it wouldn't
even stick out.
Didn't even stick out.
Nope, not one iota.
Hell, we thought you were a girl
that first few hours.
Okay that is not true.
That's not true.
Sure!
Wasn't nothin' down there!
You were like a damned
mannequin!
We were about to take matters
into out own hands.
Hell, three seconds more and you
would've been Charlene!
I was passing you off to your
ma, she was gonna hold you still.
While your granny sliced into
that-
Weird, smooth mound of skin you
had down there.
And she was gonna, well.
Build you a cooter!
Build you a cooter.
Yep, that's right.
But, there wasn't to be any
cooter in his future.
Still ain't!
No, I was so drunk, I didn't notice
your mama had a beer in her hand.
She botched the catch.
Dropped you right to that hard
hospital floor.
You fell about three feet, dented
in your skull a little bit.
We had to give it one of these,
to get it to pop back out.
But I tell you what.
You're a Bryant!
And we Bryant's are tough!
Persistent!
No sir, you hit that linoleum
and-
Turkey's done!
I don't know where they got that
many kumquats this time of year.
Pardon me.
Three bucks cover, two drink
minimum.
But seriously, you're our best girl, I would
never let that kind of thing happen to you.
Man, I can't believe these
disguises worked!
Well you'd be surprised what
these humans would fall for.
They're stupid.
I told you bitch, no one lays a hand on
my shit or they get's their ass kicked!
How the fuck was I supposed to
know they were yours?
Because they was in my fucking
locker cunt!
Bitch I took one!
It was only a six piece, you think
fucking chicken nuggets grow on trees?
Took some of them fries too.
That does it skank!
You hit like a girl!
Hey, hey, break it up, break it
up, break it up!
Listen there's no fighting in
here.
I'll send Danyelle out to get
you another six piece each.
And a large fry?
And a large fry doll.
Each?
Each.
Now, you know the rules.
That's it.
Let's get this over with now.
Let's kiss and make up.
Kiss her again!
Let us feast, I say we strike
now!
Patience my brother.
The Space Babes are who we are
here for.
We must not rush into this.
Well, as long as we got some time
to kill, I think I'll have a beer!
Yeah, but seriously Charlie,
hooker or not.
That sure is one fine piece of
tail you brought over, boy oh boy.
I mean, most sane man would kill
to have a go at that.
Hell I'd, I tell ya, I'd.
I'd murder this whole fuckin'
family just to knock boots with her.
In fact I'd felch my own son's salty semen
straight outta her dirty hooker cunt.
Just to get a look at what she's
sportin' down there.
Oh geeze thank's dad.
That's awfully kind of you to say, I'm
so glad I brought her to meet you guys.
Come on Charlie, I'm just
breakin' your balls, huh?
Before she drains 'em!
But seriously Charlie, I uh, I'm
real proud of you.
For uh, well bringing home some quality trim that
nobody in this family could ever have gotten.
I sure do appreciate it.
It means a lot to me, and your
mother there.
Well-
I'm proud of you son.
Thank's dad.
Thanks dad.
Quite proud.
In fact you're the only son I
can say that about.
Old asterisk over there, is such
a fucking water head.
I can't even count him as a
person, he's that dumb.
Why just the other day I caught
him lapping out of the toilet.
Down on his hands and knees.
Ugh, like some kind of fucking,
bowser.
I may kill him.
I don't know if I feel a damned
thing about him.
But uh, you?
I sure do love ya son.
Now Charlie you take that possible hooker out
to that barn, and you fuck her like an animal!
Can we have sex now?
Yes!
All right!
Bye mama!
You sit your queer ass down!
All right Charlie!
Oh, now that is a fine cut of
puss!
Uh, I'm so hungry!
When will we feast?
The time is nigh my friend.
Try and savor the thrill of the
hunt!
But?
All right all right ladies and
germs.
Let's hear it one more time for
Candy.
You know they call her that,
because she tastes so sweet!
But why can't we eat just one?
Come on, you know you can't just
eat one.
But, but you got to eat on
earlier!
I can eat just one.
Oh really?
And why's that?
Because I have self control.
Oh really!
And I don't?
We both know you don't.
Hey mister, tip me for a dance?
Noooo!!
What the Hell was that?
I don't know, but it sounds like
a ball!
I'll check it out.
She was the only clean stripper
in this joint!
Uhhh...
Scrotes!
It's go time.
I sure hope Carrieola's having
better luck than we are.
Look, I'm really sorry about all
that.
I'm old fashioned.
And it's important for me, that my family
gets to meet, the girl that I'm going to-
Have sex with?
Yeah.
Also someone that I feel like I
really have a connection with.
I just wish they weren't so dang
rude!
It'd be nice if my girl and my
family could get along.
I thought they were wonderful
Charlie.
Come on, you're just being silly
now.
No, I mean it.
I mean, your mom's a little
weird.
And you're dad's not the nicest.
No.
But, they still raised you.
And I think you turned out
pretty okay.
Yeah, I guess I am pretty okay
aren't I?
Are you ready?
I think so.
Device has been set to
extraction mode.
But, are you ready?
Yes Charlie, I'm ready.
Oh Carrieola.
Charlie?
Carrieola.
Charlie.
Carrieola.
Charlie!
What?
I know you're the one trying to
show me something here.
But I think we'd have a lot better
luck if you were in my vagina.
Instead of my belly button.
Oh!
Sorry.
There it is.
Oh, Carrieola!
Oh Charlie.
Look's like there's only two of
them.
For now.
Come on, I got an idea.
Come on up here babes.
These things feed off of visual stimulation,
but they don't know when to quit!
The only way to defeat them is to give them what
they want until they can't take it anymore!
Charlie?
What?
Do you mind if I give it a try?
Sure.
Better?
Yes Charlie Yes!
All Right!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes, that's it!
Keep shaking those tits babes!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
It's working Charlie!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
It's working Charlie!
Just keep sexing me!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh my God.
Carrieola!
I'm going to.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Look out!
Oh man.
They jizzed themselves to death.
All right!
Get your asses to the bar,
drink's are on me!
Oh my Zob.
No babe, just Charlie.
I'm sorry Charlie.
Sorry for what?
I mean, I just-
I know you tried to tell me how it
was going to be, but that was amazing.
Yeah, that was pretty amazing
wasn't it?
I had no idea we would make that
much energy.
Come on I mean, yeah it was
amazing, but-
When can we do it again Charlie?
Now hang on a dog gone minute.
I wonder how the others are
doing?
I wonder if they've discovered
this?
Surely not on their own.
There's a whole hell of a lot more than
just sexual energy going on right now.
I've got to get back to them.
Just listen to me for a second.
Charlie I've got to do this to
more men.
You've got to take me to do this
to more men.
Carrie?
Didn't you feel anything?
Of course I did Charlie.
What we did in this barn was
amazing.
I've never experienced anything
like it.
I felt a connection between us that I've
never felt with anyone my whole life.
But feeling's won't get me and
my Babe's back home.
And we've got to get back home.
And to do that I've got to get back to that
strip club and sex as many men as I can.
This energy, it's on a whole
other level.
I've never felt anything like
it.
It's strong.
Stronger than a grizzly bear.
Yeah.
Well you Babe's are all right in
my book.
Hell yeah you are.
I don't know where you Babe's learned that, but you
sure taught us a thing or two about titty bouncing.
Where you two from anyway?
We're not from here.
Well Hell yeah!
Carrieola!
Oh hey Babe, you sure missed a
party here.
Carrieola!
Would you like to sex me?
Well hell yeah!
Women. They sure are pretty to
look at.
But you ain't never gonna make
them understand you.
And you ain't ever gonna
understand them.
Yeah, you're telling me pal.
Listen, the sooner you come to terms with the fact
that they're not even the same species as us?
The sooner you're gonna be
happy.
I think I'm coming to terms with
that.
Look you're not listening to me
bud.
Stop over thinking it. Just face
the music.
I don't know this chick you're
hung up on.
And it doesn't matter. Because
they're all the same.
Just like we're all the same.
It isn't a bad thing, it just is
what it is.
Women, they don't think about
shit the way we do.
And we don't think about shit
the way they do.
You two are gonna be okay.
Just remember-
You're a man, and she's a woman.
You're not even from the same
planet.
You know what? You're right!
Sure am bud.
It doesn't matter what I say or
do.
She's gonna come to her own
conclusion on her own time!
Preach it brother.
I'm gonna get her.
And I'm gonna tell her that it's
okay she doesn't understand.
Church!
And that's okay, because I don't
even understand.
Hallelujah!
And if it takes us the rest of our
dag burned lives to figure it out.
Well, we're gonna figure it out
together!
Lord have mercy!
God damn.
Charlie!
Not now darlin'.
Oh Charlie!
Take a seat sweety.
We'd like you to accept this
flower-
No thank's pal!
Get a room ladies!
Carrieola, I need you to listen
to me!
Now I know you might not
understand.
And that's okay, because I don't
even understand.
But what happened between us back in
the barn, that was something special.
You said it yourself, you felt a
connection.
And that connection is something we people
down here spend our entire lives looking for.
And if you're lucky enough to find that one
person in this world, or any other world-
Well, you can't just ignore
that!
Now whoever you're in there
with-
It's Jake!
Okay, Jake.
Now I'm sure you're showing Jake
a really great time.
And Jethro!
And Jethro?
But, the connection you felt,
between me and you.
Well you're not gonna get that
with Jake and Jethro.
And Carl.
And Carl.
I think I saw Jimmy in here too!
Yeah that was me Bobby, sorry
about grabbing your ass earlier.
Come on! Enough's enough.
I'm coming in there.
That's a good boy!
Oh my God, I'm gonna throw up!
There.
You haven't seen a girl that I
was in here earlier with have you?
Blonde?
Yeah I uh, saw her with some
drunk guy in the pool room.
Thanks.
You mind if I use that sink real
quick?
Go ahead.
I just don't understand it
Charlie.
Everything felt so right with
you.
And then I get back here, and
it's totally different.
He had a boner! The energy was
there.
But I just couldn't.
I didn't even want to.
All I could think about was you,
and how it was with you.
I tried to close my eyes and
pretend he was you.
But even that didn't work.
And I felt like I was gonna get
sick.
But then in a second, everything
changed.
And I was back in that barn.
With you.
And then my stomach felt really
wierd.
But not sick like before.
It was, it was like.
It was, it was like-
Like a whole herd of butterflies
was just let loose?
Yeah.
It's time to get out of here
Carrieola.
The good news is we have enough
energy to get back home.
The bad news is, there's more
scrotes on the way.
We have to hit the road before they get
down here and cause anymore trouble.
Take us home Charlie.
They're not really gonna leave
him, are they?
Well what do you think's gonna
happen?
Their Space Babes Charlie,
they're not from here.
She can't just leave him, she
can't!
Calm down now, one thing fairy tales
all have in common, adult or not-
Is a happy ending.
Now you gonna let me finish this
story or not?
Okay, let's finish the story.
Okay now where were we?
Oh yeah right.
Charlie and the Babes left the titty bar,
and were on their way back to the barn.
So I guess this is goodbye huh?
Yeah, I guess it is.
You do know she's gonna want to
take him back with us, right?
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's not
going to want to leave his home.
What if she wants to stay here?
Come on, you can't be serious.
Go get her communicator, we're going
to need to upload her energy too.
Charlie I don't know what to do.
Do what your heart tells you.
I'm trying.
You about ready to get off this
rock?
Yeah, just give me a minute.
Give me your communicator and I
will.
We need to upload your energy
onto the ship.
But you won't have much more
than a minute.
She's fueling up and we're
taking off in five.
Do you remember the first thing
you said to me?
When you first saw me?
When I first saw you.
You said stay.
Please Carrie, don't let that be
the last thing I say to you.
I can't.
Look, either we're both staying,
or we're both leaving.
We can try to talk and decide
which one it is.
But it doesn't matter, because I
love you.
Do you love me?
I, I think I do.
Carrie, that makes us in love.
And you remember what my daddy
told me about being in love.
Charlie look out!
No, I'm pretty sure I told you
back at the bar, he said-
Carrie!
I'm gonna give you the shaft!
Noooooooo!
You've overstayed your welcome
bean bag!
Computer!
Blast this nut sack to
smithereens!
I'd love to do that Babes, but this nut sack has overridden
my system, and has control over all of my circuitry.
The whole situation is quite
Shit.
You Space Babes never did know
how to keep your pie holes shut!
Quick, let's get out of here!
Computer!
Open up energy release valve!
Sorry Babes.
You Salzarion son of a
skankazoid!
And now that I know you won't be
running away.
I'm gonna take my time and savor
you!
Oh man, I think I got a rumbly
in my tumbly!
Oh man, I think I need to lay
down!
I don't feel so good!
Oh is this the way I end?
I'm coming to see you Elizabeth!
Oh my goodness.
Hang on Babes, this ain't over
yet!
Why oh Why! Oh it's the big one!
You just gotta stay down!
No matter how hard you fight me, in
the end you're still just a Weak!
Little!
Girl!
Oh man, I new it!
Check it out!
Don't!
Call!
Me!
Girl!
I'm a Space Babe.
Why the Hell did you push me out of
the way, you could have been killed.
I thought you were dead.
I thought we were all dead.
Are you okay?
I'm fine Charlie, really I'm
fine.
I guess we really are in love.
Yeah, I guess we are.
Just me and you, against the
whole universe.
Ain't nothin' gonna keep us
apart.
Not even death.
I hate to break up this
emotional moment,
but that sad sack did release all of our energy into
the atmosphere before you ripped him inside out.
I do not want to be stuck on
this rock another minute.
What are we going to do?
Well I don't think we have much
of a choice.
We'll pack it in for tonight and
get some rest,
and then tomorrow we'll go back to the
strip club and start all over again.
Oh my Zob.
I don't think I can go back to
that place.
It smells like cotton candy and
shame.
Look I don't want to either.
But I don't know what else we
can do.
We need sexual energy, and a lot
of it.
Does anybody else have any
bright ideas?
I think we've got an idea.
Computer!
Prepare for launch.
Alert the folk's back at T.C. that
we're bringing one back with us.
Take us home!
Her majesty has given the go ahead on
our re-entry into the Salzarion system.
And the Titty city welcoming
committee is on standby.
Prepare for landing in five-
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Gloss up Babes.
I have a feeling there's going to
be welcoming party waiting for us.
They're going to get a real kick
out of you.
Charlie, welcome to Titty City!
That's it?
That's it.
You're kidding me.
You're not going to tell me what
Titty City looks like?
Well, I mean, I don't think
you're reay for that quite yet.
What a crock of shit!
Hey now, I'm the boss here, and I'm not sure if
you're ready for that part of the story just yet.
I feel ready.
Well, maybe another time
Charlie.
I've kept you up long enough.
And besides, some things are
better left to the imagination.
Sweet dreams.
Closed Captioning by Bandit
Motion Pictures
But Mom, you promised!
I know I did Charlie, but I'm
sorry, I've gotta go to work.
I'll have grandpa tell you a
bedtime story, okay?
Okay.
Come on, grandpa is good at
telling stories.
You brush them toofs?
Yes mama.
Wash them pits?
Yes mama.
Trim that beard?
Get out of here with that!
Now you be a good boy for grandpa, go to
sleep and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
After my bed time story.
Yes, after your story.
Love you.
Love you.
What the fuck was that for?
Because I need you to listen for a minute dad,
I got called in, I need you to watch Charlie.
Listen, he's already in bed, he brushed his teeth, but I
promised him a bed time story, so I need you to do that for me.
A bed time story, are you
fucking kidding me?
No, I'm not, a bed time story.
You're raising that kid to be a
pussy you know?
What do you want me to do next,
make him a ba ba, powder his ass,
say goo goo ga ga and all that
shit?
The kid needs a fucking job!
Listen dad, don't do it for me,
do it for Charlie.
You're old, impart some wisdom on him, tell
him what it was like when Moses was around,
I don't care just get it done,
please.
Thank you.
Look dad, can you just not fuck
this up, okay? I'm serious.
Okay kiddo, mom say's I gotta tell you a bed
time story, are you ready for this shit?
Yeah grandpa, tell me a good
one.
Well I can tell you there ain't nothing good in this
pile. Nothing but a bunch of pussified horse shit.
How about I tell you an adult
fairy tale.
An adult fairy tale?
Well yeah. I mean if you think
that's something you're up for.
You don't want me to read you one of
those pussy little baby stories do ya?
No.
Well okay then. This story
starts with a guy named Charlie.
Hey that's my name.
Yep, mine too.
No, your name's grandpa.
Well I'm grandpa to you, to
other folks I'm Charlie.
And this Charlie, he was about to have
the most amazing night of his life.
A night kind of like this one. But
this story starts in outer space.
Computer!
Oh hey babes, sorry about the
rude awakening.
But it seems our force field has been compromised,
and we've got a baddy right on our tail.
I'm going to go ahead and
suggest we take evasive action.
Monitors up. Come on Space Babes, let's
see what we're up against this time.
All right! Dinner time! Three
BLT's! Butts, legs, and titties!
It's another scrote!
Well that really puts a wrinkle
in our plans.
Gloss up babes, it's time to
play ball.
Prepare for death Space Babes,
there is no chance to escape!
A space Babe is always prepared. But death isn't
on the agenda today yam bag. At least, not for us.
Hey Babes I don't want to sound testy, but I think we might
be dealing with a bigger load than we can handle this time.
We got a second scrote about to join the
party, and he's coming in hard and fast!
They always do seem to come in
pairs.
Weapon's on standby.
Armed and ready!
Fire!
Ragyna!
On it!
Computer, can you stabalize?
No Babes, they've got us pretty good.
Frankly, I'm all out of ideas.
Typical. Here goes nothing.
Engage stalking mode!
They're right on our tail!
Hope they enjoy the view.
Weapon's on standby.
Fire!
Computer, status update!
Energy levels are depleted and their weapons are
recharging. It's been nice knowing you Space Babes.
It's now or never Babes.
Hold onto your hooters Babes.
Things might get a little silly.
Weapons recharging. Fire in
three!
Two!
Spaaaaace Baaaaaaaabes!
The male of our species never did amount to much. The
start of their existence is shrouded in mystery.
But it is important to our future, to understand the way
they were, and the way they were finally disposed of.
For as long as time has been recorded, they have
been regarded at unsavory, unruly, and uncivilized.
This was due to what was later dubbed,
the greates mistake of our maker.
They had the numbers, but we had
the brains.
The more their agenda became clear, the
easier it became to manipulate them.
It wasn't until the year 3,000 that
their true desires were firmly exploited,
and their reign of terror was put
to an end by a group of brave babes.
These babes lured them into a large
craft with the promise of a free trip.
To a newly discovered planet filled with
sandwiches, as far as the eye could see.
But unfortunately, due to a
mathmatical error-
They didn't make it.
But perhaps even more
unfortunate, some did survive.
Now having gone many years
without a sandwich.
And more importantly, without
the influence of babes,
the fiew remaining survivors raidly
devolved into their true forms.
The forms in which we know them
to be today.
They must be avoided at all
costs.
They are unable to be reasoned with, and
will stop at nothing to get what they want.
And that is exactly why we can't
chance it Vanassa.
Look, I'm not exactly excited about it
either, but what else are we supposed to do?
We don't have enough energy to
make it anywhere else.
Computer, bring the monitor back
up.
Sure thing!
Wow it sure looks inviting!
Inviting or not, there is no way
we are going down there.
So what, you just want to stay put
until we run out of energy completely?
Pushing that button blasted us so far out into the backwoods
of the universe that we have no choice but to go down there.
Then you shouldn't have pushed the button, it was
pretty clear about not wanting to be pushed.
And what, let those bean bags
blast us to smithereens?
At least we're light years away
from them now.
Sometimes you have to put yourself into a little
bit of danger to escape an immediate threat.
Look, I know that neither of you remember the scrotes the
days before the sandwiching, but trust me. You don't want to.
That film pales in comparison to
how bad they really were,
and there's no reason to believe the men on
this planet won't be just as bad. Or worse!
Come on Ragyna, they can't all
be that bad.
Oh yes! Yes they can be!
Computer, you're sure we can
refuel on this rock?
According to the limited
information I have in my database,
the creatures that inhabit it do seem to
occasionally broadcast an energy source that shows
a strong possibility of working as a
direct alternate to our host energy source.
Unfortunately I am unable to pinpoint exactly
what it is, or when it is broadcast.
But your communicators have been reprogrammed with the ability
to track it, and harvest it once you are on it's surface.
Well then it's settled.
Computer, please dress us in current Earth
fashions and bring us down, nice and easy.
All right, come on. Franky,
everybody, get in here.
Time to eat.
Jeeze, where did you come from?
Go get with your friends.
Gotta grow nice and strong,
everybody eat.
Oh yeah. Say hello to daddy
sugar tits.
What's that girl? You want me to
do what?
Here?
Okay, you're the boss.
Holy shit, what the hell was
that?
Something ain't right.
Come on Babes, dial up your
communicators to scanning mode.
The sooner we can find this energy
source, the sooner we can get back home.
Holy asteroids, space women!
Three of them!
Oh man, oh man, oh man, the things
I can do with three space women?
Dear Penthouse!
Wait a second, I think I'm
picking something up.
Yeah, me too.
Me three, follow me Babes.
Thank you Jesus.
Thank you space Jesus!
There it is.
Shit, oh shit.
Stay!
Don't shoot.
Don't you shoot mister!
Hang on Babes, I don't think
that's a weapon.
Hey, watch it!
No, definitely not a gun, but definitely the
source of the energy we've been looking for.
Then harvest it.
On it, switching over to
extraction mode.
Extraction mode?
Touch it! Touch it first!
What?
Absolutely not!
Why not?
Because we don't even know what
it is. It could be dangerous.
Use Protection!
I got a rubber in my wallet.
I don't need any protection. I'm
not afraid of this thing.
Greetings Earth creature. My
name is Carrieola.
Oh man.
He died?
No, he just fainted.
What did she do to him?
Well Charlie he fainted because what Carrieola did to
him made him feel something he'd never felt before.
Huh?
I know you don't think much of
girls right now but-
Heck no I don't, girls are
gross!
Well I guarantee ya, you know years
to come, your opinion is gonna change.
Blech!
Well we can wrap it right now if
ya want ya know. He died.
The end. Go the fuck to sleep.
Is that what you want?
No, it's fine. I want to know
what happens next.
Well okay then.
He fainted, and the babes didn't
know what to do about it.
So they moved him over to a nice soft pile of
hay, and tried to figure out what to do next.
Is it okay?
I don't know. But the energy source we
were detecting is nowhere to be found now.
Why did you touch it?
Because you told me to.
I did not!
Okay, scan complete, uploading
now.
Whatever it was, we'll know soon
enough.
Hang on Babes. I think it's
waking up.
All right Earthling, where did
you hide it?
Hide what?
The energy source you were
broadcasting.
Broadcasting?
Yeah, broadcasting. Your antenna was out, and
we picked up your signal, loud and clear.
Antenna?
For Salzaron's sake.
Computer, can we get those scan
results please?
Sure thing Space Babes!
Hang on, scan results? What did
you do to me?
Computer: This is a hard one, Babes.
Unlike anything in my database.
Come on stop beating around the bush,
just tell us what we're dealing with here.
The appendage of the Earthling does seem to be the
carrier of the alternate energy source you are after.
Well duh, but the signal's gone
limp. How do we get it back up?
Wait, hang on a second.
Touch it, touch it again!
My Zob Ragyna.
Actually, that's exactly what I
was gong to suggest.
You can't be serious, what is
this thing?
Now, now, now, now, now, now
hang on a cotton pickin minute!
That thing, is my dick.
And you can't just go around
grabbing them like that!
And even if you could, once you've
grabbed it as many times as you did, well-
You gota give it a minute before
you can grab it again!
It's sensitive.
Explains the tears.
Oh man, hang on a minute. I don't
know where ya'll are from, but-
We're not from here.
Well I am. This here's my parent's barn.
My name's Charlie.
Greetings Charlie, I am Vanassa.
Greetings Charlie, I'm Ragyna.
Wow! That sure is an intersting
way of saying hello ya'll got.
Down here most folks just shake
hands, but-
Now listen. I can hardly make no
damn sense of any of this.
But I think I can help ya'll out
if you'll let me.
Of course Charlie.
The energy that your doo-hicky
picked up, from my dick.
That can make ya'lls ship run and
get ya back home ya say, right?
Yes.
Okay. I think this energy is what
we down here call sexual energy.
Sexual arousal.
But only when his antenna was
out.
Yeah, once your antenna was
retracted the energy source was gone.
That's because that antenna, is
also, my dick.
That's what it does when it's in it's aroused
state. It kinda sticks out like that.
Some fella's call it a boner.
A boner?
Yeah, a boner.
And you're all like this? All of
the men on this planet?
Well yeah, basically I guess.
But hell, I think most everybody's
gonna be turned on by you three.
And we all got wieners.
Wieners?
Yeah! Dicks, cocks, rods.
Wieners!
Then you must take us where we may find more
of these at once. No matter how hard, or long-
Or short!
Or mediocre the journey.
Listen, I got just the place for ya'll. You
Babes stick with me, you'll be home in no time.
Well, then it's settled.
Charlie, we are the Space Babes
from outer space.
We are not from here.
Our visit to your planet was an unfortunate error
on our part while fleeing a most dire situation.
We are here merely out of circumstance.
We wish your planet no inconvenience.
We are not here with any ill
intentions.
No, we are here for your boners.
Your dicks, your cocks, your
rods, now Charlie please!
Take us, to your wieners.
Ladies, welcome to the strip club, A.K.A.
your fueling station.
If you can't find sexual energy
in here, you ain't looking.
Look! Rules are rules.
The shit you two were doing up there was
breaking rules I didn't even know I had!
How the fuck did you get your
foot all the way up-
And was your elbow actually
inside of her-
Aw come on Jerimy, it's Saturday night. You need
all the talent you can get in here right now.
Yeah come on, we were just
having fun.
And where in the hell did you get
so many kumquats this time of year?
Look, you ain't gonna find two other girls
tonight, you know that. We ain't going nowhere.
Oh yeah? You two, you're hired.
If you young ladies would please go see
Danyelle in the dressing room, thanks.
You two, you're fired, get the
fuck out of my bar!
You could at least call us a
cab.
Your legs look fine from here
baby.
Mmmm. Beat it!
Aaahhh!
What are you doing?
I'm trying to pick up the scent!
Uh, we have a computer for that.
Computer. Computer?
You have to be a Space Babe for
that to work.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Computer, can you tell me where
the Space Babes are?
But Carrieola, you're a Space
Babe.
Uh.. Uh.. Uhh..
Tell her you forgot your panties
when you left!
Huh huh, Yeah.
I forgot my panties, and then
um, I had to go poopy.
Okay then, the Space Babes are located at Night
Moves strip club, in Bloomington Indiana.
Huh huh, Huh huh.
Ha ha, ha ha.
To the strip club!
Uh oh, he's right behind me
isn't he?
He sure is.
You scrotes better not be
jerking me around!
Yes sir General Smotch sir! Dick
head! Sir!
Don't be a suck up!
Yep! All right.
Charlie: Okay. Now try not to
worry about your friends.
I know Danyelle, she's a cool
chick.
And with your friends dancing tonight, I'm
sure they'll raise all kinds of energy.
But there's also a lot of emotions
in here that could get in the way.
Carrieola: Emotions?
Yeah, emotions. Jealousy,
desire, lust, love.
Love?
Man I don't know how to explain love to you.
Most people down here don't even understand it.
Can you try?
Look, all I can tell you is what my daddy
told me about being in love when I asked him.
He said Charlie, when you're in
it, you know it.
It's stronger than a grizzly
bear.
And it'll tickle your tummy like a whole
herd of butterflies was just let loose.
He said when you're in love with someone,
there ain't nothing can keep ya apart.
Not even death.
Hey there handsome, care for a
lap dance?
No, not right now. Thank you.
Okay sugar. If you change your
mind come and find me.
My name's Candy.
They call me Candy cause I taste
so sweet.
I'm sensing slight arousal from you
Charlie. Why didn't you go with her?
I don't know. I think I'd rather
just stay with you and talk awhile.
You make me feel smart. And I
like teaching you about Earth.
You are smart, and I like
learning from you.
Now please, tell me what a lap
dance is.
Danyelle: So lap dances are twenty, don't
let the douche bags stiff you either.
Gimmie gimme cash up front, if
you want to sniff this cunt.
And you let 'em sniff it.
It's a great time filler you do that thing, you
just stand there, wiggle it around in their faces.
Every second you're doing that, you're not having
to rub your ass up against their tiny limp peckers.
You two know each other, right?
Yes.
Okay. I'll make sure you get
paired up on stage together then.
On Stage?
Holy shit. You two are green!
Yeah the stage.
It's like window shopping.
For the customers, and for you.
They'll tip you for your dance.
If they like what they see,
they'll wanna go for a lap dance.
So try different stuff, see what
they're responding to.
We got a lot of guys in here
that are into some weird shit.
Yeah, I'd say. I got a guy
that'll pay me to piss on him.
Says it's the only thing that
gets him hard.
He likes it running down his
face, dripping off of his chin.
There's all sorts of weird shit
out there.
Hair, feet, armpit licking, and
pissing.
I learn a new one every day.
And that's when the men get
boners Charlie?
Boners happen all the time in
here.
But yeah, they're most likely
to, come up, during a lap dance.
What about other women?
No!
Women don't have dicks.
At least not, most of them.
No, I mean can a woman get a lap
dance?
Oh sure. And I imagine the
dancers love it when that happens.
Why?
Women are softer.
Women are better mannered.
Women are-
Women are the worst!
They think because they got a set of tits in here that
they can get away with whatever the fuck they want.
They'll reach right up, try and
grab you while you're on stage.
You really gotta watch them,
more than the men.
Give a lap dance to a bitch, she'll try to cram her
filthy toothless mouth on your snatch before you can say-
Two screaming orgasms, courtesy
of Jerimy.
You know he won't admit it, but
your friends really saved his bacon.
We're running pretty low on
talent in here these days.
How are my friends doing?
They're doing great.
They'll actually be up on stage
next set.
Is there anything else that I
can get you two?
No thank you.
Oh!
Just holler if there's anything
else.
Name's Sandy.
You like her don't you?
No, not really.
With her, it's just the curse of
being a man.
Curse?
Yeah, curse.
Take a look around.
Plenty of smokin' hot babes in here,
all of them wearing next to nothing.
All of them willing to take it
off for a few bucks.
And I want to see the waitress
naked.
Because I can't.
Men. Our eyes never get their
fill.
We're constantly looking for
something else.
Especially when it's something
we're not supposed to have.
It's hard to explain but, she's
not who I want right now.
Who do you want right now
Charlie?
Ladies and germs, we got a couple of cherries
in here tonight, ripe for the poppin'!
That's right take those hands off of your dicks,
and do something useful with them for once.
And put 'em together, and give a warm
sticky welcome to Ragyna, and Vanassa.
Well God damn!
I think it's working!
It definitely is, but at this rate it's going
to take us days to get the energy we need.
Well, keep trying things.
Maybe we can come across a fetish or
something, to help raise the level.
Hey baby.
Why don't you come over here and
raise my level?
Hey mister, what turns you on?
Watching you wiggle.
Did you get those panties in
space?
Because that ass is out of this
world.
From the second son of Salzaron
sugar!
What's wrong?
I don't know.
It's like the energy is there, but even with all
these men, it's not nearly as strong as yours was.
Well I guess that's just because a boner made with
love is more powerful than your average boner.
And your boner was made with
love Charlie?
Yeah.
Yeah I think maybe it was.
Damn girl!
Why don't you come over here and
let me suck on them big ole titties?
These big ole titties?
There is one other thing we
could try.
It's kind of the ultimate
display of sexual energy.
Something that we have to do
together.
Oh baby, you are so wet.
You're practically dripping
aren't you?
I got a guy that will pay me to
piss on him.
Oh, you like it wet?
Oh god, do I?
I wanna feel your wetness all
over my face!
I wanna feel it, running down my
chin.
You're so sweet I'd like that.
I'd, love that. Let's do it.
Let's get out of here.
What's wrong?
Look, I know ya'll are in a
hurry to get back home.
But before we can, do it.
You gotta meet my family.
Of course Charlie, I'd love to.
Come on, let's get on with it.
Why don't you pull that string to the
side, let's see how wet you really are.
All right big boy.
Here it comes.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
I can't believe that mother
fucker made us walk.
Uh, we could have called a cab
ourselves ya know?
Uh, and with what money?
We would had money if you didn't stop
and buy all those chicken nuggets.
Well you weren't complaining when you
ate more than half of those bitch!
They're chicken nuggets, what
did you expect?
Hey lady?
Wait, what the fuck was that?
Psst! Hey lady!
Let's not stick around to find
out.
God damn it!
Help me pick up all these
fucking kumsquats skank!
Fuck you, I ain't picking that shit up,
can pick that shit up your damn self.
Pardon me.
Well then you can go fuck off
and die bitch!
Hey come on, let me get some!
What?
Where you going?
Lady!
Don't worry, soon we will feast
on the flesh of Space Babes!
To the strip club!
Dear Lord, we thank you for this
day you've even given us.
We thank you for all the work
you've provided to me.
So I can take care of these,
good for nothin' kids.
And we thank you Jesus, for uh,
the food.
Mother Margo has prepared for
us.
And Lord, we thank ya for
looking over us.
I personally want to thank you,
sweet Jesus.
For Charlie.
Finally bringing home a girl.
It's uh.
Well as you know we've worried for
quite some time that he may be queer.
Verdict's still out on Shawn over there,
but I suppose two out of three ain't bad.
And lastly Jesus, I wanna thank you for makin' sure
that all of us were borned right here in America.
The greatest nation on this here
earth.
Amen to ya.
Amen.
Amen.
So Blondie, you're a uh.
A hooker, right?
Am I a hooker Charlie?
Dad!
I'm just saying!
I mean come on, look at you.
And look at her.
Look at you!
Look at her!
No, no she's not a hooker!
You're not a hooker.
You a cop?
Am I a cop?
No, she's not a cop either!
God damn!
Can we just please, talk about
something normal for once?
I mean, I brought a girl here,
that's kinda rare to do.
Thought you'd all be on your
best behaivor.
How long until that damned
turkey's done?
Your mother shit herself today.
Your mother shit herself today!
Hey Shawn, how was school?
I told you, my name isn't Shawn
anymore.
It's Aztaroth!
Jessica. How was your day?
Oh you know, I got fucked!
Can we have sex now?
Hooker! Definitely a hooker.
Hooker! Ha ha, Hooker ha ha!
Shh. Shh Mama, mama!
I want to introduce you to
Carrieola. She's-
She's not from here.
She needs our wieners!
She needs boners!
To fuel her spaceship!
A spaceship.
That runs.
On.
Boners!
That's nice mama.
That's real nice.
You know when you born Charlie we weren't
sure if you'd be able to have sex ever.
Pecker was so small, it wouldn't
even stick out.
Didn't even stick out.
Nope, not one iota.
Hell, we thought you were a girl
that first few hours.
Okay that is not true.
That's not true.
Sure!
Wasn't nothin' down there!
You were like a damned
mannequin!
We were about to take matters
into out own hands.
Hell, three seconds more and you
would've been Charlene!
I was passing you off to your
ma, she was gonna hold you still.
While your granny sliced into
that-
Weird, smooth mound of skin you
had down there.
And she was gonna, well.
Build you a cooter!
Build you a cooter.
Yep, that's right.
But, there wasn't to be any
cooter in his future.
Still ain't!
No, I was so drunk, I didn't notice
your mama had a beer in her hand.
She botched the catch.
Dropped you right to that hard
hospital floor.
You fell about three feet, dented
in your skull a little bit.
We had to give it one of these,
to get it to pop back out.
But I tell you what.
You're a Bryant!
And we Bryant's are tough!
Persistent!
No sir, you hit that linoleum
and-
Turkey's done!
I don't know where they got that
many kumquats this time of year.
Pardon me.
Three bucks cover, two drink
minimum.
But seriously, you're our best girl, I would
never let that kind of thing happen to you.
Man, I can't believe these
disguises worked!
Well you'd be surprised what
these humans would fall for.
They're stupid.
I told you bitch, no one lays a hand on
my shit or they get's their ass kicked!
How the fuck was I supposed to
know they were yours?
Because they was in my fucking
locker cunt!
Bitch I took one!
It was only a six piece, you think
fucking chicken nuggets grow on trees?
Took some of them fries too.
That does it skank!
You hit like a girl!
Hey, hey, break it up, break it
up, break it up!
Listen there's no fighting in
here.
I'll send Danyelle out to get
you another six piece each.
And a large fry?
And a large fry doll.
Each?
Each.
Now, you know the rules.
That's it.
Let's get this over with now.
Let's kiss and make up.
Kiss her again!
Let us feast, I say we strike
now!
Patience my brother.
The Space Babes are who we are
here for.
We must not rush into this.
Well, as long as we got some time
to kill, I think I'll have a beer!
Yeah, but seriously Charlie,
hooker or not.
That sure is one fine piece of
tail you brought over, boy oh boy.
I mean, most sane man would kill
to have a go at that.
Hell I'd, I tell ya, I'd.
I'd murder this whole fuckin'
family just to knock boots with her.
In fact I'd felch my own son's salty semen
straight outta her dirty hooker cunt.
Just to get a look at what she's
sportin' down there.
Oh geeze thank's dad.
That's awfully kind of you to say, I'm
so glad I brought her to meet you guys.
Come on Charlie, I'm just
breakin' your balls, huh?
Before she drains 'em!
But seriously Charlie, I uh, I'm
real proud of you.
For uh, well bringing home some quality trim that
nobody in this family could ever have gotten.
I sure do appreciate it.
It means a lot to me, and your
mother there.
Well-
I'm proud of you son.
Thank's dad.
Thanks dad.
Quite proud.
In fact you're the only son I
can say that about.
Old asterisk over there, is such
a fucking water head.
I can't even count him as a
person, he's that dumb.
Why just the other day I caught
him lapping out of the toilet.
Down on his hands and knees.
Ugh, like some kind of fucking,
bowser.
I may kill him.
I don't know if I feel a damned
thing about him.
But uh, you?
I sure do love ya son.
Now Charlie you take that possible hooker out
to that barn, and you fuck her like an animal!
Can we have sex now?
Yes!
All right!
Bye mama!
You sit your queer ass down!
All right Charlie!
Oh, now that is a fine cut of
puss!
Uh, I'm so hungry!
When will we feast?
The time is nigh my friend.
Try and savor the thrill of the
hunt!
But?
All right all right ladies and
germs.
Let's hear it one more time for
Candy.
You know they call her that,
because she tastes so sweet!
But why can't we eat just one?
Come on, you know you can't just
eat one.
But, but you got to eat on
earlier!
I can eat just one.
Oh really?
And why's that?
Because I have self control.
Oh really!
And I don't?
We both know you don't.
Hey mister, tip me for a dance?
Noooo!!
What the Hell was that?
I don't know, but it sounds like
a ball!
I'll check it out.
She was the only clean stripper
in this joint!
Uhhh...
Scrotes!
It's go time.
I sure hope Carrieola's having
better luck than we are.
Look, I'm really sorry about all
that.
I'm old fashioned.
And it's important for me, that my family
gets to meet, the girl that I'm going to-
Have sex with?
Yeah.
Also someone that I feel like I
really have a connection with.
I just wish they weren't so dang
rude!
It'd be nice if my girl and my
family could get along.
I thought they were wonderful
Charlie.
Come on, you're just being silly
now.
No, I mean it.
I mean, your mom's a little
weird.
And you're dad's not the nicest.
No.
But, they still raised you.
And I think you turned out
pretty okay.
Yeah, I guess I am pretty okay
aren't I?
Are you ready?
I think so.
Device has been set to
extraction mode.
But, are you ready?
Yes Charlie, I'm ready.
Oh Carrieola.
Charlie?
Carrieola.
Charlie.
Carrieola.
Charlie!
What?
I know you're the one trying to
show me something here.
But I think we'd have a lot better
luck if you were in my vagina.
Instead of my belly button.
Oh!
Sorry.
There it is.
Oh, Carrieola!
Oh Charlie.
Look's like there's only two of
them.
For now.
Come on, I got an idea.
Come on up here babes.
These things feed off of visual stimulation,
but they don't know when to quit!
The only way to defeat them is to give them what
they want until they can't take it anymore!
Charlie?
What?
Do you mind if I give it a try?
Sure.
Better?
Yes Charlie Yes!
All Right!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes, that's it!
Keep shaking those tits babes!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
It's working Charlie!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
It's working Charlie!
Just keep sexing me!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh my God.
Carrieola!
I'm going to.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Look out!
Oh man.
They jizzed themselves to death.
All right!
Get your asses to the bar,
drink's are on me!
Oh my Zob.
No babe, just Charlie.
I'm sorry Charlie.
Sorry for what?
I mean, I just-
I know you tried to tell me how it
was going to be, but that was amazing.
Yeah, that was pretty amazing
wasn't it?
I had no idea we would make that
much energy.
Come on I mean, yeah it was
amazing, but-
When can we do it again Charlie?
Now hang on a dog gone minute.
I wonder how the others are
doing?
I wonder if they've discovered
this?
Surely not on their own.
There's a whole hell of a lot more than
just sexual energy going on right now.
I've got to get back to them.
Just listen to me for a second.
Charlie I've got to do this to
more men.
You've got to take me to do this
to more men.
Carrie?
Didn't you feel anything?
Of course I did Charlie.
What we did in this barn was
amazing.
I've never experienced anything
like it.
I felt a connection between us that I've
never felt with anyone my whole life.
But feeling's won't get me and
my Babe's back home.
And we've got to get back home.
And to do that I've got to get back to that
strip club and sex as many men as I can.
This energy, it's on a whole
other level.
I've never felt anything like
it.
It's strong.
Stronger than a grizzly bear.
Yeah.
Well you Babe's are all right in
my book.
Hell yeah you are.
I don't know where you Babe's learned that, but you
sure taught us a thing or two about titty bouncing.
Where you two from anyway?
We're not from here.
Well Hell yeah!
Carrieola!
Oh hey Babe, you sure missed a
party here.
Carrieola!
Would you like to sex me?
Well hell yeah!
Women. They sure are pretty to
look at.
But you ain't never gonna make
them understand you.
And you ain't ever gonna
understand them.
Yeah, you're telling me pal.
Listen, the sooner you come to terms with the fact
that they're not even the same species as us?
The sooner you're gonna be
happy.
I think I'm coming to terms with
that.
Look you're not listening to me
bud.
Stop over thinking it. Just face
the music.
I don't know this chick you're
hung up on.
And it doesn't matter. Because
they're all the same.
Just like we're all the same.
It isn't a bad thing, it just is
what it is.
Women, they don't think about
shit the way we do.
And we don't think about shit
the way they do.
You two are gonna be okay.
Just remember-
You're a man, and she's a woman.
You're not even from the same
planet.
You know what? You're right!
Sure am bud.
It doesn't matter what I say or
do.
She's gonna come to her own
conclusion on her own time!
Preach it brother.
I'm gonna get her.
And I'm gonna tell her that it's
okay she doesn't understand.
Church!
And that's okay, because I don't
even understand.
Hallelujah!
And if it takes us the rest of our
dag burned lives to figure it out.
Well, we're gonna figure it out
together!
Lord have mercy!
God damn.
Charlie!
Not now darlin'.
Oh Charlie!
Take a seat sweety.
We'd like you to accept this
flower-
No thank's pal!
Get a room ladies!
Carrieola, I need you to listen
to me!
Now I know you might not
understand.
And that's okay, because I don't
even understand.
But what happened between us back in
the barn, that was something special.
You said it yourself, you felt a
connection.
And that connection is something we people
down here spend our entire lives looking for.
And if you're lucky enough to find that one
person in this world, or any other world-
Well, you can't just ignore
that!
Now whoever you're in there
with-
It's Jake!
Okay, Jake.
Now I'm sure you're showing Jake
a really great time.
And Jethro!
And Jethro?
But, the connection you felt,
between me and you.
Well you're not gonna get that
with Jake and Jethro.
And Carl.
And Carl.
I think I saw Jimmy in here too!
Yeah that was me Bobby, sorry
about grabbing your ass earlier.
Come on! Enough's enough.
I'm coming in there.
That's a good boy!
Oh my God, I'm gonna throw up!
There.
You haven't seen a girl that I
was in here earlier with have you?
Blonde?
Yeah I uh, saw her with some
drunk guy in the pool room.
Thanks.
You mind if I use that sink real
quick?
Go ahead.
I just don't understand it
Charlie.
Everything felt so right with
you.
And then I get back here, and
it's totally different.
He had a boner! The energy was
there.
But I just couldn't.
I didn't even want to.
All I could think about was you,
and how it was with you.
I tried to close my eyes and
pretend he was you.
But even that didn't work.
And I felt like I was gonna get
sick.
But then in a second, everything
changed.
And I was back in that barn.
With you.
And then my stomach felt really
wierd.
But not sick like before.
It was, it was like.
It was, it was like-
Like a whole herd of butterflies
was just let loose?
Yeah.
It's time to get out of here
Carrieola.
The good news is we have enough
energy to get back home.
The bad news is, there's more
scrotes on the way.
We have to hit the road before they get
down here and cause anymore trouble.
Take us home Charlie.
They're not really gonna leave
him, are they?
Well what do you think's gonna
happen?
Their Space Babes Charlie,
they're not from here.
She can't just leave him, she
can't!
Calm down now, one thing fairy tales
all have in common, adult or not-
Is a happy ending.
Now you gonna let me finish this
story or not?
Okay, let's finish the story.
Okay now where were we?
Oh yeah right.
Charlie and the Babes left the titty bar,
and were on their way back to the barn.
So I guess this is goodbye huh?
Yeah, I guess it is.
You do know she's gonna want to
take him back with us, right?
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's not
going to want to leave his home.
What if she wants to stay here?
Come on, you can't be serious.
Go get her communicator, we're going
to need to upload her energy too.
Charlie I don't know what to do.
Do what your heart tells you.
I'm trying.
You about ready to get off this
rock?
Yeah, just give me a minute.
Give me your communicator and I
will.
We need to upload your energy
onto the ship.
But you won't have much more
than a minute.
She's fueling up and we're
taking off in five.
Do you remember the first thing
you said to me?
When you first saw me?
When I first saw you.
You said stay.
Please Carrie, don't let that be
the last thing I say to you.
I can't.
Look, either we're both staying,
or we're both leaving.
We can try to talk and decide
which one it is.
But it doesn't matter, because I
love you.
Do you love me?
I, I think I do.
Carrie, that makes us in love.
And you remember what my daddy
told me about being in love.
Charlie look out!
No, I'm pretty sure I told you
back at the bar, he said-
Carrie!
I'm gonna give you the shaft!
Noooooooo!
You've overstayed your welcome
bean bag!
Computer!
Blast this nut sack to
smithereens!
I'd love to do that Babes, but this nut sack has overridden
my system, and has control over all of my circuitry.
The whole situation is quite
Shit.
You Space Babes never did know
how to keep your pie holes shut!
Quick, let's get out of here!
Computer!
Open up energy release valve!
Sorry Babes.
You Salzarion son of a
skankazoid!
And now that I know you won't be
running away.
I'm gonna take my time and savor
you!
Oh man, I think I got a rumbly
in my tumbly!
Oh man, I think I need to lay
down!
I don't feel so good!
Oh is this the way I end?
I'm coming to see you Elizabeth!
Oh my goodness.
Hang on Babes, this ain't over
yet!
Why oh Why! Oh it's the big one!
You just gotta stay down!
No matter how hard you fight me, in
the end you're still just a Weak!
Little!
Girl!
Oh man, I new it!
Check it out!
Don't!
Call!
Me!
Girl!
I'm a Space Babe.
Why the Hell did you push me out of
the way, you could have been killed.
I thought you were dead.
I thought we were all dead.
Are you okay?
I'm fine Charlie, really I'm
fine.
I guess we really are in love.
Yeah, I guess we are.
Just me and you, against the
whole universe.
Ain't nothin' gonna keep us
apart.
Not even death.
I hate to break up this
emotional moment,
but that sad sack did release all of our energy into
the atmosphere before you ripped him inside out.
I do not want to be stuck on
this rock another minute.
What are we going to do?
Well I don't think we have much
of a choice.
We'll pack it in for tonight and
get some rest,
and then tomorrow we'll go back to the
strip club and start all over again.
Oh my Zob.
I don't think I can go back to
that place.
It smells like cotton candy and
shame.
Look I don't want to either.
But I don't know what else we
can do.
We need sexual energy, and a lot
of it.
Does anybody else have any
bright ideas?
I think we've got an idea.
Computer!
Prepare for launch.
Alert the folk's back at T.C. that
we're bringing one back with us.
Take us home!
Her majesty has given the go ahead on
our re-entry into the Salzarion system.
And the Titty city welcoming
committee is on standby.
Prepare for landing in five-
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Gloss up Babes.
I have a feeling there's going to
be welcoming party waiting for us.
They're going to get a real kick
out of you.
Charlie, welcome to Titty City!
That's it?
That's it.
You're kidding me.
You're not going to tell me what
Titty City looks like?
Well, I mean, I don't think
you're reay for that quite yet.
What a crock of shit!
Hey now, I'm the boss here, and I'm not sure if
you're ready for that part of the story just yet.
I feel ready.
Well, maybe another time
Charlie.
I've kept you up long enough.
And besides, some things are
better left to the imagination.
Sweet dreams.
Closed Captioning by Bandit
Motion Pictures