Spotting the Difference (2022) Movie Script
[agent] You might be the Guinness
world record holder
for the highest grossing movie in Africa.
But nobody knows you in America.
Hey, do you know this guy?
Ma'am, do you know him?
See, no one knows you.
Okay, so it's time to chill
with the big boys.
So, you can run "kitti kitti"
and run "katta katta"
So, let me show you how the thing goes.
What!
[in Pidgin] Who am I seeing?
Oh my God.
Hey, do you know this guy?
This is a big movie star in Africa
I told you.
What! Let me remember his name. Oh...
[snaps fingers]
- Jim Iyke!
- [chuckles]
Men, my main gee...
How're you doing, bro?
I hear you have a few blockbuster hits
in Nigeria?
I also hear you've been selling out
some comedy shows.
As a stand-up comedian.
We're willing to offer you a platform
to grow the AY brand globally.
By doing a show here in America.
You need to grow.
Everything about you is small.
What's the meaning of that, how can
she say everything about me is small?
It's just a figure of speech.
I can't figure such a dirty speech out.
What's the meaning of that?
That I'm small.
And I'll sit here... Never! Ever!
[club music playing]
AY, she needs to talk to you, man.
Let's go.
[AY] Guess what?
I'm not going to sit here this time
and have her refer to me as small.
She's not talking
about you personally, okay?
She's talking about your reach,
She's talking
about how many people know you.
The markets that know you,
and where you're at in this world.
What we're talking about
is taking you global.
Making this brand a worldwide brand.
AY, when I said you were small,
I meant in your outreach.
A global legacy.
You need to think bigger.
You need to expand the AY brand
to America.
[crowd cheers]
Let me hear you say, "Uh-huh, uh-huh!"
[crowd] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[emcee] Make some noise!
[crowd cheering]
AY is a very great fellow.
[fan 1] He's very funny.
[fan 2]
One of the biggest comedians in Africa.
- [fan 3] AY is crazy.
- He's phenomenal...
- He's a pace setter.
- He's a king in his lane.
He never disappoints.
We love AY. We watched 30 Days in Atlanta
He's great, I've seen him on Netflix.
I've watched, like, all his shows,
his movies and everything.
We're such a fan of him, we think
he's so funny and just so charismatic.
I like that it's culture focused.
[fan 4]
This is my first time experiencing AY,
- so I'm pretty excited.
- AY is a legend.
I've seen him, you know, previously I had
a roommate that was Nigerian.
So, I've seen a lot of his skits,
and I'm really excited
for his comedy special.
I'm glad that he's here
and doing this in Atlanta.
Heard about him from my friend but this is
my first time seeing him so I'm excited.
I'm really excited, this is my first ever,
like, live comedy show.
I know that I'm just gonna be
falling off my seat every time.
I'm here to get my ribs cracked up
a little bit.
- He runs the show.
- [fan 5] He was born to do this.
- It'll be fun.
- I don't expect anything less from him.
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome AY!
[crowd applauding]
[applauding continues]
Nigerians in the building,
make some noise!
[cheering, applauding]
[AY] Atlanta make some noise!
[cheering]
[AY] Okay.
Nigerians with American passport
make some noise.
[cheering]
Ah. The numbers have increased.
The numbers have increased.
[laughing]
Illegal immigrants make some noise.
[cheering]
[in Pidgin] White man, ah.
Ah, you must be Mexico?
- [fan 1] Cuban, Cuban.
- Eh?
[fan 1] Cuba, Cuba.
- [AY] Human.
- [crowd] Cuba!
[in Pidgin] Speak properly.
[in English] Where I come from
we need to understand you.
- [fan 1] Cuba.
- [AY] Cuba.
No wonder you look like Maggi cube.
[laughing]
[AY] Cuba.
He's so proud, "Cuba, Cuba!"
I almost thought that was my Uber man.
Uber, Uber.
[laughing]
Wow, it's so good to be here.
Make some noise one more time
for yourselves.
[cheering, applauding]
I'd like to say a very big thank you to
each and every one of you for coming out...
tonight.
I want to say a very big thank you.
Thank you.
I thank you, I thank you. This means
so much to the AY brand. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah.
I am from Nigeria
and I must say this.
There's something about, uh...
Uh, the weather in Atlanta.
The weather has something
in common with Kanye West.
[laughing]
You know the bipolar disorder.
- You don't know when it's gonna be hot.
- [crowd] Yes.
You don't know when it's gonna be cold.
My Nigerian people will come
and be telling me,
especially the ones
that just left Lagos not too long.
They'll come and tell me,
"No, AY what is wrong with you?
It's not even cold today."
And the one that pains me.
The one they use...
It's not even cold today in "Alanla."
[in Pidgin] When did you get here
that you are saying "Alanla."
The word is Atlanta.
Can somebody say, "Atlanta"?
[crowd] Atlanta!
I don't know, they confusing me.
Saying it's not cold today in Atlanta.
How can you tell me it's not cold today,
when I'm almost freezing?
Have you seen the local TV station
or channel?
Today, you'll just hear
that five boys were gunned down.
You'd hear again.
Two boys fought and killed
each other over a cup of ice cream.
In this your local news,
we don't get to see all of this...
on CNN.
The only thing we see on CNN is
when CNN wants to brag.
In Africa, 500,000 children are going
to die of hunger before October.
[in Pidgin]
That hunger will kill you there.
Your people are dying over ice-cream here,
you're telling me about Africa?
[laughing]
[in Pidgin] Your father!
By the way, the white people here...
"Your father" is some sort of greeting
where I come from.
[laughing]
So, just turn to your neighbor and say,
"Your father."
[crowd] Your father.
[AY] Do this, turn to your neighbor,
just go, "Your father."
"Your father." Turn to your neighbor,
and say, "Your father."
Yeah. You, turn to your neighbor,
and say, "Your father."
[in Pidgin] Nigerians,
you'll show off, silly people.
Let me enjoy my performance.
Oh, wow, you must be Chinese.
[mimicking Mandarin]
[laughing]
But you look Chinese, where are you from?
- Japan.
- Japan.
[in Pidgin] You people...
Where we come from...
Japan...
Korea...
- Everybody is Chinese.
- [laughing]
[mimicking Mandarin]
I see quite a lot is going on
in the world right now.
The Chinese.
They now have their own artificial sun.
I read that somewhere,
I don't confirm that as a fact.
But that is ongoing.
And I see the way
the Chinese people are fighting
the Americans over power or what have you.
I also see how Iran is
fighting Saudi Arabia.
Concerning who is better
when it comes to oil and gas.
I see the French.
Fighting the Germans over land borders
to see how they can help their people.
But come to Africa... Nigeria and Ghana.
What we fight over is
who has the best Jollof rice.
[cheering, applauding]
[in Pidgin]
I wish you choke on the Jollof rice.
Go and help our economy,
and stop talking about Jollof rice.
This thing called fasting. I don't know
if it has happened to any of you here.
Anytime you sit at home and you do not
tell yourself that you want to fast.
You can just go on, and on, and on,
till evening.
You won't be hungry.
But as soon as you just declare
the word, "fast,"
your TV remote will start looking
like a burger.
[laughing]
I have a pastor friend
that I got married in his church.
This man, for those of you
who are from Nigeria, you know him.
He's the only pastor
in the history of the world,
where you have to go to his church
with your Bible and dictionary.
- [fan 2] That's my pastor.
- Yes.
- [fan 2] Chris Okotie.
- You see. They know him.
This man speaks grammar
on per second billing.
So, I decided to get married
in his church.
Um, before the wedding...
one useless girl came from nowhere.
[in Pidgin] She said she was going
to obstruct that wedding.
And I didn't do anything wrong.
- [fan 2] Are you sure?
- I didn't do anything. Shut up!
Nigerian, show yourself.
I didn't do anything.
I didn't do anything.
Am I the first person to break her heart?
[laughing]
I didn't do anything.
[in Pidgin] She said she was going
to obstruct the wedding.
So, I decided to go to the man of God
ahead of time... to tell him.
I said "Man of God, somebody's planning
to obstruct my wedding.
I need you to help me here."
And he asked me, "AY, what did you do?"
I said, "Man of God,
I did not do anything.
I did not do anything."
He said, "Okay, no problem."
But this girl had a plan.
She said, "When it gets to that part.
Where the pastor will say,
'If there's anyone with any reason why
these two should not be joined together.'
That's when she'll put up..."
- [crowd] Her hand.
- "Her hand."
But she made a terrible mistake.
She did not know she was coming
to Chris Okotie's church.
So, when it got to that part
where he'll now say,
"If there's anyone here why these two
should not be joined together."
Okotie entered his element
of grammatic expression.
The next thing he said,
"If there's anyone in this congregation,
why this conjugal merger
between AY and Mabel
should not be interwoven within
the peripheral of marital conferment
That person should fari now
or forever farous
The same girl started clapping.
[laughing]
By the way, my wife just gave birth.
[cheering, applauding]
I am daddy again.
Thank you.
Everything here is organized.
Everything here is well put together.
Everything, nice.
Do you know in Nigeria, where I come from,
we always go prepared...
for anything we wanna do.
I came to America with my bag of money,
to pay cash.
[applauding]
And the white woman was looking at me.
[mimicking white person]
Mr. Man, what do you have in there?
I said, "Your cash, your money,
your money."
She said, "No, no, no, no...
We'll send the bill.
And know that you also
have the right to negotiate."
[exclaims]
I will negotiate my child?
[in Pidgin] In Africa, negotiating
my child's delivery payment is a taboo
But in dollars... You know, the language
of dollars is the beginning of wisdom.
Wow! Negotiate? That sounds good.
And it... it didn't end there.
They said, "You also have the right
to pay the money, small, small."
[in Pidgin] I was in awe.
Installments?
Oh, God, America. I love America.
Put your hands together for America.
[applause]
Americans here, come to my country.
Come to my country,
and say you want to give birth.
[laughs]
I tell you the truth,
no matter the pain
your wife is going through.
As soon as you carry out of that hospital,
they will follow due process
of making sure payment is made first.
Even if your wife is going to do CS,
the doctor will hold the knife,
and will ask the accountant,
"Please call the husband,
so that we know what we are doing here."
But all the same, please put
your hands together for my country.
It's not that bad.
- It's not that bad.
- [applauding]
[chuckles]
That's why I want you to come
and give birth in my country.
[in Pidgin] So, that you can have...
- [laughing]
- Yeah, yeah.
My friend Elenu.
We were driving when he said,
"Do you know Mama deserves a push gift?"
I said, "Wow. Push gift?"
Well, push me to whatever place.
She deserves it. Let's go.
And then I realized that my wife...
There's a page on Instagram... She's always
liking the picture of one bag.
And I saw the bag.
I said, "Elenu! Take me to the stall."
"Brother, are you sure of this?"
I said, "Are you mad?
This is my wife we're talking about,
take me there."
So, we went to this chemist... Sorry.
Hermes.
We went there. I saw the bag.
The bag was there looking at me.
I saw the amount.
One-hundred and twenty-five thousand
U.S dollars.
For a bag?
That's what happened.
Okay, my wife. What did she push
that my mother did not push?
[laughing]
No, no, no, tell me. Tell me.
Whatever she pushed,
my mother pushed seven times.
Seven times.
The good thing about my wife,
she's adorable. I don't know...
If you've had the opportunity
to see my wife,
you know that, yes, God settled down,
to create her.
- [cheering]
- [chuckles]
You know, you know.
So, one day my wife just woke up
and said to me,
"Baby, let's play a game.
We are going to answer all our calls,
on speaker phone."
I said, "Baby, is that the game?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Okay, no problem."
And guess what?
All the calls started coming in
and started with her own phone.
Every call that came through
this woman's phone...
Oh, God bless her soul.
Innocent calls.
[mimics phone ringing]
[in Pidgin] Hello Mabel, what is
the recipe for your Palm fruit's soup?
[mimics phone ringing] Hello, Mabel.
Where did you get your human hair from?
[mimics phone ringing]
Hello Mabel, congratulations, I saw
a picture of your baby, she's beautiful.
Then my phone rang only once.
Only once. Once like this once.
And I looked at the phone.
It's one illegal immigrant here.
That I had forgotten about and worry.
So, I don't know.
I think he heard I was around.
I'm a sharp Warri boy.
So, what I did, I decided to prompt him.
So, the phone was ringing and my wife
was like, "Baby take your call."
"So, take your call." I said, "Oh, yeah,
of course. I can see it is ringing now.
Is it not my phone? I will take it."
I decided to prompt the guy.
"I'm at home, Onos.
I'm at home, Onos, I'm at home.
Onos, I'm at home. Onos, I'm at home."
Onos did not get the signal.
The next thing Onos said...
"AY, where are you?
I understand you're in town.
If you see the Spanish girls here
right now...
Your wife's hips is learning."
[laughing]
I'm still trying to settle
that quarrel right now as we speak.
I'm still trying to settle that...
Because I understand in America,
I don't know how they set the laws.
It favors the women 100%.
The witchcraft, they are clapping.
[laughing]
Right!
Now, I'll tell you this for free.
In Africa, Nigeria where I come from...
The man is king.
The man reigns supreme.
Can you imagine?
Let me narrate this to you so that you
understand what I'm talking about.
In Nigeria,
I can have a fight with my wife.
This minute...
I'll be the first person
to go to my in-laws,
and complain that I'm not doing it again.
And the mother and father will start
begging me,
summon their daughter, bring her over,
get her to go on her knees to beg me.
Even at that same point...
you will see me
basking in the euphoria of my comfort zone
as the man in charge.
I'll be there saying,
"See, you... I'll send you out of my house.
I'll send you out of my h..."
[in Pidgin]
The mother will say, "Mabel, beg him now.
Beg... My son, we are sorry, it's okay."
This is now me thinking.
Because my wife has been
saying to me, "Baby...
I want you to buy this house in America
and I would like for us to relocate."
Me? Relocate and come here?
With all these things that I'm hearing?
So, that one day...
I will just misbehave slightly.
[laughing]
No, no, no. Look, see, see, see.
It's part of human beings to misbehave.
Especially men, the way we are created.
You can slightly misbehave.
If you're a man here
and you have not misbehaved slightly
in the last one year,
let me see your hands up.
It's the woman that said,
"Put your hand up now, I'll show you.
Put you... You better put your hand up now
where I'll see it."
- [laughing]
- [chuckles]
So, one day, that thing I see
that you white people do in movies.
I now see it happening to me.
Where my wife would just carry a pillow...
Phew!
"Go and sleep on the couch."
[laughing]
Me, couch?
And then if my slight misbehavior
exceeds a particular level.
So, I was also told
that she has the right...
to just carry my things and throw outside.
[in Pidgin] Heh! I'm finished.
They would throw me, my things outside.
And then she would be screaming,
"Please, just leave!
Just leave or I call 911. Leave!"
From the house that I built with my money?
No, no, no... I can never do this.
Then I was also told
that my wife...
She has the right
to bring in another man
into that house.
Hey, God! Hey, God!
That my wife will bring in another man
into the house.
Oh, my goodness.
All of you love to live in America,
you are free to stay here.
As for me and my household,
we shall die in Africa.
[cheering, applauding]
You know why I believe
this whole thing works?
I have one distant relative
that used to hit the wife.
So, I don't know
how they got this green card arrangement.
So, they found themselves here now.
Anytime the woman is talking,
this same man that used to scream,
"I'm the man.
Do you know who I am? Do you..."
The man will just keep quiet.
And then the other day,
I was trying to fight on his behalf,
He said, "AY, AY, no, no, no..."
"AY no..."
[shakes mouth]
"Home, home, home, they'll throw me out.
They'll throw me out.
They'll throw me out."
[in Pidgin] I was surprised.
As I'm talking to you now,
the wife is here.
He's the one babysitting at home,
the wife is watching the show.
Wow! [chuckles]
Now, I want to say this real quick.
You see, I talked about my wife.
The way she behaves around me.
If we relocate to America,
I'm suspecting that she's somebody
that would do a thing like that...
to me.
Yes! I'm suspecting her.
You need to see
whenever I'm rolling the baby stroller.
You need to see
how my wife is walking around me.
[laughing]
Push it now! Push it now!
Why are you pushing slow?
So, I'm suspecting
that she would do a thing like that to me.
She would throw me out,
I'm suspecting her.
That's why we would never come here.
I'll buy the house and stay in Nigeria.
[in Pidgin] Damn!
No, no... [chuckles]
But all the same, all the same...
It's something I love to do.
I love to take care of my baby.
If you see the bond
I have with my first daughter.
It will let you know
that it's an inborn thing.
It's not about being in Africa.
It's not about being somebody
who's going to claim to be a man
and not do what a man is supposed to do.
I will do what... Yeah!
Because I love to do it.
It's something I love to do.
It something... [chuckles] ...I love to do.
And... when I do it,
I do with so much love,
but the work is too much.
The work is... The work is too much.
Because my wife categorically said to me,
"AY, you can't complain here.
I carried this baby in my tummy
for nine months.
Now, that the baby is here,
I want to sleep.
Do your thing."
If you see me at Pampers.
Oh, God. And this literature...
I don't understand them.
Do you know when they gas,
they'll be shock?
Why won't you go mess, why you go shock?
Their own gas affect them?
And then I am running around,
I'm changing diapers and doing everything.
Oh, my goodness.
All the men in the house
who are diapers changers,
please put your hands together
for yourself.
[cheering]
[laughs]
When I wanna put my baby to sleep,
it's a different ball game.
She has my gene, she has my blood.
And that blood is an African blood.
So, when you play songs like, uh...
Baby shark, doo-doo doo-doo-doo
Baby shark, doo-doo doo-doo-doo
Baby shark
She would be shining her eyes
and looking at you.
The only thing
that puts my child to sleep...
is when you sing and chant that war song...
[singing Igbo war song]
[laughing]
That's when she goes to bed.
And you know as Africans we love...
We are very rhythmic in nature.
We love rhythm.
And sometimes if I'm not doing that,
there's this popular TikTok song.
Anytime you play that song and rock her,
she will go to bed.
Anytime you play the song...
Yeah! This song.
Then I'll carry her like this.
["Trigger" plays]
[cheering]
Pause, pause, pause.
That's an African child.
And what am I doing?
I'm already training my child
how to understand what is called rhythm.
That's why when they grow up,
they dance so well.
Africans dance so well.
- [cheering]
- Africans can dance.
Eh, white people please.
[in Pidgin] White people.
That dance. That shu-shu-shu...
Please don't do it at home with your baby,
you might kill your child.
Because you people don't understand
sense of rhythm.
- [cheering]
- [AY] Play that song again.
["Trigger" plays]
[cheering]
Pause, pause, pause.
[in Pidgin]
A white person, this same song.
White man dance to this same song.
Play, play, play.
["Trigger" plays]
[laughing]
Stop, stop, stop...
You would kill yourself.
It's not everything I would do,
you try to do.
[cheering]
The whites, they're very, very different.
That's why you'll hear something
like Hurricane Katrina.
Hurricane Katrina.
What is Hurricane Katrina?
Just because water left their beach.
You just hear that,
"Hundred white people died."
Why? Because water left the beach.
I don't know what exactly is wrong
with my white people.
What is wrong? What is the problem?
You guys, you need some help.
Water left the beach.
And a hundred white people died.
Never in the history of Lagos.
That water would leave my beach.
You would hear that two Yoruba men died.
It is impossible.
As soon as they see the water coming,
[in Yoruba]
My dear wife, the water is approaching...
Let's get out of here immediately.
They are gone.
You will never see a Black man wait.
A Black man will never wait.
[in Pidgin] White people...
as we are here now,
if a lion should enter this place
right now,
you will not see
any Black man here present.
[in Pidgin] Even my friend,
Pastor Badu would leave his flocks behind.
[laughing]
Every Black man here would take off.
But a white man
will be looking at the lion.
"Oh, my God.
Is that a lion?
How did it get in here?"
[in Pidgin] Silly you. Keep waiting.
The lion will tell you how.
Just be... Wait, the lion will tell you.
My brother.
Where are you from please?
I'd like to know.
I'm from here.
You're from here.
This particular venue.
Okay. Uh, what do you do?
Uh, I pilot drones.
Okay.
What about your father?
What does your father do?
Immigrations officer.
[cheering]
I cover myself with the blood of my wife.
I cover myself with the blood of wife.
Anything that will make me
go back to Nigeria.
- Holy ghost!
- [crowd] Fire!
- Holy ghost!
- [crowd] Fire!
What?
You know, I've never met your father,
but he's somebody I know I'll love.
[cheering]
I don't even need to meet your father.
I love your father.
So, when you go back home,
just say you met this, uh...
African comedian. He was so hilarious.
But please, we did the show inside church.
[laughing, cheering]
And I can't remember us collecting money.
- Did I collect money from you?
- [crowd] No!
- Did I collect money from you?
- [crowd] No!
You heard that, right?
[in Yoruba] Do not bring a curse
upon your generation and yourself.
[laughing]
I just said,
"Africans are so proud of you."
[cheering]
On a serious note,
I want to ask you a question.
And I want you
to be very, very sincere with me.
Now, if you are in a certain environment...
Hmm?
...and someone comes
and take your father...
away from you...
forcefully,
without your father's consent.
Then an opportunity comes for you
to be with your father again.
Your father that was taken away
from you forcefully.
Would you be willing to go back,
or you'll like to be where your father is?
Uh...
No.
I would... I wouldn't.
- You'll be with your father?
- Yeah.
You'll be with your father,
that's what we're talking about.
Your father's people came to carry
our forefathers as slaves,
a long, long time ago.
We were not ready.
When they came, we were not ready.
So, we now happen to know
that our relatives are
the Kanye West and the Jay-Z's.
We see them from Africa
and we have decided to come
and stay with our relatives.
So, why would you be asking me
how long am I staying?
We are going nowhere. We die here.
Tell your father I said so.
[cheering, applauding]
[cheering continues]
[in Pidgin]
I see you all screaming my praises.
Whoa!
[in Pidgin] These white people are going
to wheel me out of here.
Wheel barrow is what they'll use carry me.
But I must say, the whites are different.
[in Pidgin] You see the way he responded.
As I'm talking to him,
I was talking to him, he was responding.
Very polite.
You put a Nigerian person and you're
talking to him like you're a person.
[in Pidgin] "AY, what is with the insults,
I came here to watch you perform?
I came to have fun
and not to be interviewed by you.
Same AY that we knew from way back
running around the streets
with fake superman branded briefs."
They will look for a way to let you...
The whites are different.
That's why you see a white boy.
A white boy goes to get water
in the refrigerator.
To eat bread, no butter.
And the next thing,
he says he wants to commit suicide.
Why?
Because there's no butter to eat bread.
Then you'll see them climb skyscraper.
You see the father begging, "John...
You can't do this, John.
John, you'd better come down, John. John."
Then they go and call police.
They'll bring ambulance on standby.
The idiotic John will be screaming back,
"I'm just going to die, leave me alone!"
They'll be begging John,
"John, you can't do this.
Your dad is here, your mum is here.
John, you can't do this."
Now, another idiot in Nigeria
who saw that movie.
So, he decided
that he wants to kill himself.
So, he went somewhere around Ojuelegba,
climbed one semi-skyscraper,
and said he was going to jump.
Now, the Nigerians were
going about their duty.
Nobody paid him attention.
He was just screaming, "I'm going to die!"
Nobody paid him attention. Nobody!
Until somebody said,
"Okay, let's just call Nigerian police.
This is Nigerian police now,
arriving the scene.
[mimicking Nigerian Police] "Uh-huh.
Where is the boy
that has said want to kill himself?
Okay, are you the boy?
Okay. I don't know.
What are you still waiting for? Now, jump.
Won't you jump?
Officer, please look for ladder,
climb up there and push him."
[laughing]
We don't have time for nonsense.
You want to kill yourself, kill yourself.
I just did a movie, I don't know
if you people saw a bit of the film.
Uh... Yeah.
- You saw a bit of it.
- [cheering]
Presently, it's the highest grossing movie
in Nigeria. Presently.
And then uh... Yes.
I want you people to see this guy.
I don't know he looks like.
Does he remind you of Jesus?
[laughing]
[in Hindu] Namaste. Namaste.
[in Hindu] Namaste. Namaste.
[in Pidgin]
Nemesis will catch up with you.
Namaste.
Wow! Please put your hands together
for Manoj, he's been coordinating.
[cheering]
I took Manoj to Nigeria
for the Premiere of...
Christmas in Miami.
Guess what?
Our girls...
Oh, my goodness.
[in Pidgin] I thought they were in love
with Manoj, but I guessed wrongly.
They want to escort him to the bathroom
and shave his hair.
Collect the hair.
It wasn't about him, it's the hair.
"Oh, my God! See that hair."
[in Pidgin]
Do you know how costly that is?
Manoj... Manoj is Indian.
Indians... Why do you people do this thing
in your movies?
In-between, you'll see them play music.
They will sing and dance.
Can you... Can you...
How do you people do that dance again?
I can do the singing,
but you'll do the dancing.
Yes, because I watched a lot
of Indian movies growing up.
[beatboxing]
[in Pidgin] I see you are fully prepared
to show your dancing skills
[singing in fake Hindu]
[singing continues]
- Ah, ah, ah, 14 years.
- [cheering]
Ah, ah! No. No.
Indian, leave here. Indian, leave here.
Indian! Ah!
[cheering]
Nollywood industry is growing now,
we're doing very, very well.
We're better now,
but in those days, it was terrible.
In Nollywood, it was very, very terrible.
Any Hollywood films you see,
you can never tell what the story is going
with the soundtrack.
They'll carry you along
smoothly and nicely.
But...
Nollywood, the ones we're used
to doing Asaba?
[laughing]
From the soundtrack,
you would know everything about this film.
For example,
if the title of the movie is Heartbreaker.
Or in the film,
there's a girl called Chioma.
From the soundtrack,
you will know everything.
You see something like this.
[soundtrack plays]
Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Chioma, Chioma, Chioma...
Chioma, where have you been?
The heartbreaker
Chioma, Chioma, Chioma...
The heartbreaker
Pause, pause, pause.
Why am I seeing the film?
Let me just listen to the soundtrack
and go home.
Why?
Oh, my God! Suspense.
Hollywood films' suspense.
You'll see the suspense, you will know
the suspense, it's what you call suspense.
Play, let's see.
- [soundtrack plays]
- This is Hollywood.
Somebody's going into the house.
Hello, Catty.
Catty, are you there?
- [cat meowing]
- Oh, Catty, I'm coming for you...
before you get kicked again.
Pause.
That's Hollywood.
Have you seen our own suspense?
The Asaba one?
Before this new one that we are doing.
Oh, God, our suspense will kill you.
[soundtrack plays]
[laughing]
Pause.
You enter the room, close door,
go to bed and sleep.
[laughing]
That's the suspense. How to go to bed.
[cheering]
Finally, accident scenes. Oh, my goodness.
You see a guy on the street
loaded with people.
The guy will run into a skyscraper.
You see accident.
Two cars will crash on the left.
Another four on the right.
Five in front,
they'll run into a building.
Everywhere explodes. [mimics explosion]
Have you seen Asaba accident scene
before now?
Asaba accident scene before now.
He's one of our popular actors
known as Jim Iyke.
You'll see Jim Iyke...
We don't get our accidents
on the busy streets.
Very quiet street.
Only Jim Iyke... in the car.
An accident is about to happen.
- [soundtrack plays]
- Chioma broke my heart.
What am I supposed to do?
I'm just going to go for a ride.
He'll enter his car.
Why did you do this to me Chioma?
Accident is about to happen.
Why did you do this to me Chioma?
Lonely road, all by himself.
The next thing you'll hear...
- Ah! Ah!
- [tires screech]
Ah!
- Ah!
- [screeching continues]
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
[car crash]
[cheering, applauding]
[chuckles]
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Our musicians are
doing us proud right now.
And they're grabbing the Grammys.
If you love Burna Boy here,
make some noise.
- [cheering]
- If you love Wizkid here, make some noise.
- Davido, yeah, make some noise.
- [cheering]
- Tiwa Savage, make some noise.
- [cheering]
These people are doing us proud.
Now there's something that these
white people do that I don't understand.
White people want to... like to claim
dominance in almost everything.
I'm gonna say this line again.
Sorry, I'm not picking on the whites.
I'm not a racist.
I'm just doing comedy.
And comedy is what I do for a living
and that's all I do.
And when I say white people,
it is not detrimental.
It's just me saying that the title
of my show is spotting the difference.
So, I just want you to be open
to the difference and enjoy it.
Because I can prophesy
into your life right now.
Let me prophesy into your life.
Oh, please put your hands together
for him.
- [cheering]
- Yeah.
Because this one that we're hearing,
that one's father is Immigration.
[in Pidgin] We have no idea whose dad is
a custom officer, or something else here.
[in Pidgin] Then it would be clear to say
my deportation process is confirmed.
[laughing]
White people, they love
to claim dominance in everything.
What's all these things
that these white people do?
You'll be in the missionary mission
and then you'll be asking woman questions.
You'll be doing something
and be asking questions.
Da-da-da. Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
- Who's your daddy?
- [laughing]
Who's your daddy?
Why do you people do that?
What's the meaning of that?
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
And if they don't even ask
who's your daddy,
they'll say, "What's my name?"
"Tell me baby, what's my name?"
"What's my name? What's..."
- How can you not know your own name?
- [laughing]
How can you not know your own name?
In Africa, we don't ask such questions.
We don't even need to ask you.
I mean the He that is in us
is enough to make you say your name,
your father's name, everything.
Let's assume now, as Nigerians,
we decided to be asking questions
in our language.
Do you know how funny that will sound?
I just carry somebody's daughter now.
The next thing I'm saying is, "Hey, baby...
[in Yoruba] Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
[in Yoruba] Louder, I want to hear it.
How annoying will that sound?
Or this Indian man
that just left here now.
[mimicking in Hindu] What's that?
There's something I know,
the white people are very, very emotional.
Very emotional.
And I like that.
It worked for me one time.
And, uh...
You know, when the white person tells you,
"I'm afraid
I can't help you."
Just know that he's actually afraid,
you will not get help.
Anytime you hear that phrase,
"I'm afraid."
Or, "I'm sorry,
I can't help you."
We don't do that where we come from,
we tell you the opposite.
In Nigeria, when we look at you and say,
"Uh, Mr. Man with all due respect."
Just know
that you're about to be disrespected.
[laughing]
So, I was running late.
To go back on this day, I was travelling
back to Nigeria, I was running late.
So, the lady said to me. "I'm afraid
you came late, you can't make this flight,
I'm sorry."
Ah!
Then suddenly I realized
that the white people are very emotional.
So, I decided to work
on the emotions of this lady.
And I said, "Hello, ma'am.
Please, I promised my little girl
that I was gonna be there
at her graduation.
And I just have to fly.
Please, anything you can do.
I promise that, I'm trying to make up
with my daughter, please.
Try and do something.
Put me on this flight.
Please, I beg of you. I know that."
White... Immediately, it worked.
She carried out her walkie-talkie...
[mimics ringing]
"Can you please hold the flight? I got
a man here, he promised his daughter..."
[laughing]
And I made the flight.
I made the flight.
I made the damn flight!
[applauding]
And she ended up saying,
"Say me well to your daughter."
Oh, you white people, you are good.
Very polite!
So, I found myself in Nigeria.
Two days later,
I was traveling to Abuja.
I said, let me try the same trick
because I was missing my flight.
So, the minute,
I walk up to the lady,
she was there, chewing gum, looking at me.
[mimicking chewing gum]
"Uh-huh?"
I said, "Madam.
[in Pidgin]
Please, my child is graduating,
I promised my child
that I will the attend the graduation.
Please, let me not miss this flight."
Her mouth... Chewing gum and looking at me.
[mimicking chewing gum]
"How many children do you have?"
I said, "One."
"Hmm, I have seven.
I have promised them so many things
they have gotten nothing.
Go and buy another ticket."
[laughing]
The white people understand
what is called karaoke.
And they do it so very well.
And then, it's nice.
Let's play... Do a karaoke song.
We're all going to sing the song together.
I want it... You to put it on the screen.
Put it up on the screen.
Let's go. Let's go, everybody.
Let's go.
Would you run and never look back
[AY] Let's go, people.
[crowd continues singing]
Sing it like you mean it.
Would you cry if you saw me crying
[AY] Oh, my goodness!
Would you save my soul tonight
Oh, my goodness!
Would you tremble
If I touched your lips
Would you laugh,
Oh, please tell me this
Now would you die
For the one you love?
[speaking Pidgin]
Hold me in your arms tonight
[AY] Now this is the part
I want you to carry.
[in Pidgin] The whites are good. Let's go.
I can be your hero, baby
Let's go, everybody. Let's do this.
I can kiss away the pain
[in Pidgin] Oh, white people,
you are good.
I will stand by you forever
Let's go.
You can take my breath away
Oh, no, no, stop it.
I'm getting emotional, please.
Stop it, I'm so emotional right now.
[in Pidgin] The whites are good.
They are just too good. Too good.
Please put your hands together
for the white people here.
- [applauding]
- You're good, very good.
Very, very good.
So, I saw this,
I decided to go back home...
to introduce my own karaoke.
We just enjoyed one now.
Okay, let's also enjoy
the Nigerian karaoke.
- Play.
- [music plays]
Uh-huh.
Aha!
[AY] Mr. Flavor pon the dance floor
On Ashawo Remix
- [song continues playing]
- Seven times.
Seven times!
Two!
Three!
What!
Four!
Five!
Six!
Seven!
Now listen...
Ife bara aba, abago
Listen!
[AY] Sing it, sing it if you can.
[singing]
See the Nigerians.
[singing continues]
What is "kporokotokpotomkpom?"
Piompiompiompiompiom
Oh yeah
Wuru wuru baby
Oh, yeah
Corner corner baby
I go tell my mama
I go tell my papa
Listen.
You be waka waka baby
What is this?
Now, this part will kill you.
This part will... See... The part.
The part is coming.
The part is coming.
What is this? What is this?
What is this? Kpom let's go.
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpakolo kpa, Kpakolo kpa, Kpakolo kpa
Kpom kpom, Achari bobo, ukwu
Nwa baby, Achukwu rege Kpom kpom
Ashawo, Awusha, Awusha
Ashawo, Ashawo, Awusha, Kpom kpom
What is this?
[crowd singing]
All right. Stop this song, stop this song.
[cheering, applauding]
Atlanta, thank you very much
for coming out tonight.
Thank you for showing me love.
I love you, I love you,
thank you very much.
And God bless you real good,
we'll do this again.
world record holder
for the highest grossing movie in Africa.
But nobody knows you in America.
Hey, do you know this guy?
Ma'am, do you know him?
See, no one knows you.
Okay, so it's time to chill
with the big boys.
So, you can run "kitti kitti"
and run "katta katta"
So, let me show you how the thing goes.
What!
[in Pidgin] Who am I seeing?
Oh my God.
Hey, do you know this guy?
This is a big movie star in Africa
I told you.
What! Let me remember his name. Oh...
[snaps fingers]
- Jim Iyke!
- [chuckles]
Men, my main gee...
How're you doing, bro?
I hear you have a few blockbuster hits
in Nigeria?
I also hear you've been selling out
some comedy shows.
As a stand-up comedian.
We're willing to offer you a platform
to grow the AY brand globally.
By doing a show here in America.
You need to grow.
Everything about you is small.
What's the meaning of that, how can
she say everything about me is small?
It's just a figure of speech.
I can't figure such a dirty speech out.
What's the meaning of that?
That I'm small.
And I'll sit here... Never! Ever!
[club music playing]
AY, she needs to talk to you, man.
Let's go.
[AY] Guess what?
I'm not going to sit here this time
and have her refer to me as small.
She's not talking
about you personally, okay?
She's talking about your reach,
She's talking
about how many people know you.
The markets that know you,
and where you're at in this world.
What we're talking about
is taking you global.
Making this brand a worldwide brand.
AY, when I said you were small,
I meant in your outreach.
A global legacy.
You need to think bigger.
You need to expand the AY brand
to America.
[crowd cheers]
Let me hear you say, "Uh-huh, uh-huh!"
[crowd] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[emcee] Make some noise!
[crowd cheering]
AY is a very great fellow.
[fan 1] He's very funny.
[fan 2]
One of the biggest comedians in Africa.
- [fan 3] AY is crazy.
- He's phenomenal...
- He's a pace setter.
- He's a king in his lane.
He never disappoints.
We love AY. We watched 30 Days in Atlanta
He's great, I've seen him on Netflix.
I've watched, like, all his shows,
his movies and everything.
We're such a fan of him, we think
he's so funny and just so charismatic.
I like that it's culture focused.
[fan 4]
This is my first time experiencing AY,
- so I'm pretty excited.
- AY is a legend.
I've seen him, you know, previously I had
a roommate that was Nigerian.
So, I've seen a lot of his skits,
and I'm really excited
for his comedy special.
I'm glad that he's here
and doing this in Atlanta.
Heard about him from my friend but this is
my first time seeing him so I'm excited.
I'm really excited, this is my first ever,
like, live comedy show.
I know that I'm just gonna be
falling off my seat every time.
I'm here to get my ribs cracked up
a little bit.
- He runs the show.
- [fan 5] He was born to do this.
- It'll be fun.
- I don't expect anything less from him.
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome AY!
[crowd applauding]
[applauding continues]
Nigerians in the building,
make some noise!
[cheering, applauding]
[AY] Atlanta make some noise!
[cheering]
[AY] Okay.
Nigerians with American passport
make some noise.
[cheering]
Ah. The numbers have increased.
The numbers have increased.
[laughing]
Illegal immigrants make some noise.
[cheering]
[in Pidgin] White man, ah.
Ah, you must be Mexico?
- [fan 1] Cuban, Cuban.
- Eh?
[fan 1] Cuba, Cuba.
- [AY] Human.
- [crowd] Cuba!
[in Pidgin] Speak properly.
[in English] Where I come from
we need to understand you.
- [fan 1] Cuba.
- [AY] Cuba.
No wonder you look like Maggi cube.
[laughing]
[AY] Cuba.
He's so proud, "Cuba, Cuba!"
I almost thought that was my Uber man.
Uber, Uber.
[laughing]
Wow, it's so good to be here.
Make some noise one more time
for yourselves.
[cheering, applauding]
I'd like to say a very big thank you to
each and every one of you for coming out...
tonight.
I want to say a very big thank you.
Thank you.
I thank you, I thank you. This means
so much to the AY brand. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah.
I am from Nigeria
and I must say this.
There's something about, uh...
Uh, the weather in Atlanta.
The weather has something
in common with Kanye West.
[laughing]
You know the bipolar disorder.
- You don't know when it's gonna be hot.
- [crowd] Yes.
You don't know when it's gonna be cold.
My Nigerian people will come
and be telling me,
especially the ones
that just left Lagos not too long.
They'll come and tell me,
"No, AY what is wrong with you?
It's not even cold today."
And the one that pains me.
The one they use...
It's not even cold today in "Alanla."
[in Pidgin] When did you get here
that you are saying "Alanla."
The word is Atlanta.
Can somebody say, "Atlanta"?
[crowd] Atlanta!
I don't know, they confusing me.
Saying it's not cold today in Atlanta.
How can you tell me it's not cold today,
when I'm almost freezing?
Have you seen the local TV station
or channel?
Today, you'll just hear
that five boys were gunned down.
You'd hear again.
Two boys fought and killed
each other over a cup of ice cream.
In this your local news,
we don't get to see all of this...
on CNN.
The only thing we see on CNN is
when CNN wants to brag.
In Africa, 500,000 children are going
to die of hunger before October.
[in Pidgin]
That hunger will kill you there.
Your people are dying over ice-cream here,
you're telling me about Africa?
[laughing]
[in Pidgin] Your father!
By the way, the white people here...
"Your father" is some sort of greeting
where I come from.
[laughing]
So, just turn to your neighbor and say,
"Your father."
[crowd] Your father.
[AY] Do this, turn to your neighbor,
just go, "Your father."
"Your father." Turn to your neighbor,
and say, "Your father."
Yeah. You, turn to your neighbor,
and say, "Your father."
[in Pidgin] Nigerians,
you'll show off, silly people.
Let me enjoy my performance.
Oh, wow, you must be Chinese.
[mimicking Mandarin]
[laughing]
But you look Chinese, where are you from?
- Japan.
- Japan.
[in Pidgin] You people...
Where we come from...
Japan...
Korea...
- Everybody is Chinese.
- [laughing]
[mimicking Mandarin]
I see quite a lot is going on
in the world right now.
The Chinese.
They now have their own artificial sun.
I read that somewhere,
I don't confirm that as a fact.
But that is ongoing.
And I see the way
the Chinese people are fighting
the Americans over power or what have you.
I also see how Iran is
fighting Saudi Arabia.
Concerning who is better
when it comes to oil and gas.
I see the French.
Fighting the Germans over land borders
to see how they can help their people.
But come to Africa... Nigeria and Ghana.
What we fight over is
who has the best Jollof rice.
[cheering, applauding]
[in Pidgin]
I wish you choke on the Jollof rice.
Go and help our economy,
and stop talking about Jollof rice.
This thing called fasting. I don't know
if it has happened to any of you here.
Anytime you sit at home and you do not
tell yourself that you want to fast.
You can just go on, and on, and on,
till evening.
You won't be hungry.
But as soon as you just declare
the word, "fast,"
your TV remote will start looking
like a burger.
[laughing]
I have a pastor friend
that I got married in his church.
This man, for those of you
who are from Nigeria, you know him.
He's the only pastor
in the history of the world,
where you have to go to his church
with your Bible and dictionary.
- [fan 2] That's my pastor.
- Yes.
- [fan 2] Chris Okotie.
- You see. They know him.
This man speaks grammar
on per second billing.
So, I decided to get married
in his church.
Um, before the wedding...
one useless girl came from nowhere.
[in Pidgin] She said she was going
to obstruct that wedding.
And I didn't do anything wrong.
- [fan 2] Are you sure?
- I didn't do anything. Shut up!
Nigerian, show yourself.
I didn't do anything.
I didn't do anything.
Am I the first person to break her heart?
[laughing]
I didn't do anything.
[in Pidgin] She said she was going
to obstruct the wedding.
So, I decided to go to the man of God
ahead of time... to tell him.
I said "Man of God, somebody's planning
to obstruct my wedding.
I need you to help me here."
And he asked me, "AY, what did you do?"
I said, "Man of God,
I did not do anything.
I did not do anything."
He said, "Okay, no problem."
But this girl had a plan.
She said, "When it gets to that part.
Where the pastor will say,
'If there's anyone with any reason why
these two should not be joined together.'
That's when she'll put up..."
- [crowd] Her hand.
- "Her hand."
But she made a terrible mistake.
She did not know she was coming
to Chris Okotie's church.
So, when it got to that part
where he'll now say,
"If there's anyone here why these two
should not be joined together."
Okotie entered his element
of grammatic expression.
The next thing he said,
"If there's anyone in this congregation,
why this conjugal merger
between AY and Mabel
should not be interwoven within
the peripheral of marital conferment
That person should fari now
or forever farous
The same girl started clapping.
[laughing]
By the way, my wife just gave birth.
[cheering, applauding]
I am daddy again.
Thank you.
Everything here is organized.
Everything here is well put together.
Everything, nice.
Do you know in Nigeria, where I come from,
we always go prepared...
for anything we wanna do.
I came to America with my bag of money,
to pay cash.
[applauding]
And the white woman was looking at me.
[mimicking white person]
Mr. Man, what do you have in there?
I said, "Your cash, your money,
your money."
She said, "No, no, no, no...
We'll send the bill.
And know that you also
have the right to negotiate."
[exclaims]
I will negotiate my child?
[in Pidgin] In Africa, negotiating
my child's delivery payment is a taboo
But in dollars... You know, the language
of dollars is the beginning of wisdom.
Wow! Negotiate? That sounds good.
And it... it didn't end there.
They said, "You also have the right
to pay the money, small, small."
[in Pidgin] I was in awe.
Installments?
Oh, God, America. I love America.
Put your hands together for America.
[applause]
Americans here, come to my country.
Come to my country,
and say you want to give birth.
[laughs]
I tell you the truth,
no matter the pain
your wife is going through.
As soon as you carry out of that hospital,
they will follow due process
of making sure payment is made first.
Even if your wife is going to do CS,
the doctor will hold the knife,
and will ask the accountant,
"Please call the husband,
so that we know what we are doing here."
But all the same, please put
your hands together for my country.
It's not that bad.
- It's not that bad.
- [applauding]
[chuckles]
That's why I want you to come
and give birth in my country.
[in Pidgin] So, that you can have...
- [laughing]
- Yeah, yeah.
My friend Elenu.
We were driving when he said,
"Do you know Mama deserves a push gift?"
I said, "Wow. Push gift?"
Well, push me to whatever place.
She deserves it. Let's go.
And then I realized that my wife...
There's a page on Instagram... She's always
liking the picture of one bag.
And I saw the bag.
I said, "Elenu! Take me to the stall."
"Brother, are you sure of this?"
I said, "Are you mad?
This is my wife we're talking about,
take me there."
So, we went to this chemist... Sorry.
Hermes.
We went there. I saw the bag.
The bag was there looking at me.
I saw the amount.
One-hundred and twenty-five thousand
U.S dollars.
For a bag?
That's what happened.
Okay, my wife. What did she push
that my mother did not push?
[laughing]
No, no, no, tell me. Tell me.
Whatever she pushed,
my mother pushed seven times.
Seven times.
The good thing about my wife,
she's adorable. I don't know...
If you've had the opportunity
to see my wife,
you know that, yes, God settled down,
to create her.
- [cheering]
- [chuckles]
You know, you know.
So, one day my wife just woke up
and said to me,
"Baby, let's play a game.
We are going to answer all our calls,
on speaker phone."
I said, "Baby, is that the game?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Okay, no problem."
And guess what?
All the calls started coming in
and started with her own phone.
Every call that came through
this woman's phone...
Oh, God bless her soul.
Innocent calls.
[mimics phone ringing]
[in Pidgin] Hello Mabel, what is
the recipe for your Palm fruit's soup?
[mimics phone ringing] Hello, Mabel.
Where did you get your human hair from?
[mimics phone ringing]
Hello Mabel, congratulations, I saw
a picture of your baby, she's beautiful.
Then my phone rang only once.
Only once. Once like this once.
And I looked at the phone.
It's one illegal immigrant here.
That I had forgotten about and worry.
So, I don't know.
I think he heard I was around.
I'm a sharp Warri boy.
So, what I did, I decided to prompt him.
So, the phone was ringing and my wife
was like, "Baby take your call."
"So, take your call." I said, "Oh, yeah,
of course. I can see it is ringing now.
Is it not my phone? I will take it."
I decided to prompt the guy.
"I'm at home, Onos.
I'm at home, Onos, I'm at home.
Onos, I'm at home. Onos, I'm at home."
Onos did not get the signal.
The next thing Onos said...
"AY, where are you?
I understand you're in town.
If you see the Spanish girls here
right now...
Your wife's hips is learning."
[laughing]
I'm still trying to settle
that quarrel right now as we speak.
I'm still trying to settle that...
Because I understand in America,
I don't know how they set the laws.
It favors the women 100%.
The witchcraft, they are clapping.
[laughing]
Right!
Now, I'll tell you this for free.
In Africa, Nigeria where I come from...
The man is king.
The man reigns supreme.
Can you imagine?
Let me narrate this to you so that you
understand what I'm talking about.
In Nigeria,
I can have a fight with my wife.
This minute...
I'll be the first person
to go to my in-laws,
and complain that I'm not doing it again.
And the mother and father will start
begging me,
summon their daughter, bring her over,
get her to go on her knees to beg me.
Even at that same point...
you will see me
basking in the euphoria of my comfort zone
as the man in charge.
I'll be there saying,
"See, you... I'll send you out of my house.
I'll send you out of my h..."
[in Pidgin]
The mother will say, "Mabel, beg him now.
Beg... My son, we are sorry, it's okay."
This is now me thinking.
Because my wife has been
saying to me, "Baby...
I want you to buy this house in America
and I would like for us to relocate."
Me? Relocate and come here?
With all these things that I'm hearing?
So, that one day...
I will just misbehave slightly.
[laughing]
No, no, no. Look, see, see, see.
It's part of human beings to misbehave.
Especially men, the way we are created.
You can slightly misbehave.
If you're a man here
and you have not misbehaved slightly
in the last one year,
let me see your hands up.
It's the woman that said,
"Put your hand up now, I'll show you.
Put you... You better put your hand up now
where I'll see it."
- [laughing]
- [chuckles]
So, one day, that thing I see
that you white people do in movies.
I now see it happening to me.
Where my wife would just carry a pillow...
Phew!
"Go and sleep on the couch."
[laughing]
Me, couch?
And then if my slight misbehavior
exceeds a particular level.
So, I was also told
that she has the right...
to just carry my things and throw outside.
[in Pidgin] Heh! I'm finished.
They would throw me, my things outside.
And then she would be screaming,
"Please, just leave!
Just leave or I call 911. Leave!"
From the house that I built with my money?
No, no, no... I can never do this.
Then I was also told
that my wife...
She has the right
to bring in another man
into that house.
Hey, God! Hey, God!
That my wife will bring in another man
into the house.
Oh, my goodness.
All of you love to live in America,
you are free to stay here.
As for me and my household,
we shall die in Africa.
[cheering, applauding]
You know why I believe
this whole thing works?
I have one distant relative
that used to hit the wife.
So, I don't know
how they got this green card arrangement.
So, they found themselves here now.
Anytime the woman is talking,
this same man that used to scream,
"I'm the man.
Do you know who I am? Do you..."
The man will just keep quiet.
And then the other day,
I was trying to fight on his behalf,
He said, "AY, AY, no, no, no..."
"AY no..."
[shakes mouth]
"Home, home, home, they'll throw me out.
They'll throw me out.
They'll throw me out."
[in Pidgin] I was surprised.
As I'm talking to you now,
the wife is here.
He's the one babysitting at home,
the wife is watching the show.
Wow! [chuckles]
Now, I want to say this real quick.
You see, I talked about my wife.
The way she behaves around me.
If we relocate to America,
I'm suspecting that she's somebody
that would do a thing like that...
to me.
Yes! I'm suspecting her.
You need to see
whenever I'm rolling the baby stroller.
You need to see
how my wife is walking around me.
[laughing]
Push it now! Push it now!
Why are you pushing slow?
So, I'm suspecting
that she would do a thing like that to me.
She would throw me out,
I'm suspecting her.
That's why we would never come here.
I'll buy the house and stay in Nigeria.
[in Pidgin] Damn!
No, no... [chuckles]
But all the same, all the same...
It's something I love to do.
I love to take care of my baby.
If you see the bond
I have with my first daughter.
It will let you know
that it's an inborn thing.
It's not about being in Africa.
It's not about being somebody
who's going to claim to be a man
and not do what a man is supposed to do.
I will do what... Yeah!
Because I love to do it.
It's something I love to do.
It something... [chuckles] ...I love to do.
And... when I do it,
I do with so much love,
but the work is too much.
The work is... The work is too much.
Because my wife categorically said to me,
"AY, you can't complain here.
I carried this baby in my tummy
for nine months.
Now, that the baby is here,
I want to sleep.
Do your thing."
If you see me at Pampers.
Oh, God. And this literature...
I don't understand them.
Do you know when they gas,
they'll be shock?
Why won't you go mess, why you go shock?
Their own gas affect them?
And then I am running around,
I'm changing diapers and doing everything.
Oh, my goodness.
All the men in the house
who are diapers changers,
please put your hands together
for yourself.
[cheering]
[laughs]
When I wanna put my baby to sleep,
it's a different ball game.
She has my gene, she has my blood.
And that blood is an African blood.
So, when you play songs like, uh...
Baby shark, doo-doo doo-doo-doo
Baby shark, doo-doo doo-doo-doo
Baby shark
She would be shining her eyes
and looking at you.
The only thing
that puts my child to sleep...
is when you sing and chant that war song...
[singing Igbo war song]
[laughing]
That's when she goes to bed.
And you know as Africans we love...
We are very rhythmic in nature.
We love rhythm.
And sometimes if I'm not doing that,
there's this popular TikTok song.
Anytime you play that song and rock her,
she will go to bed.
Anytime you play the song...
Yeah! This song.
Then I'll carry her like this.
["Trigger" plays]
[cheering]
Pause, pause, pause.
That's an African child.
And what am I doing?
I'm already training my child
how to understand what is called rhythm.
That's why when they grow up,
they dance so well.
Africans dance so well.
- [cheering]
- Africans can dance.
Eh, white people please.
[in Pidgin] White people.
That dance. That shu-shu-shu...
Please don't do it at home with your baby,
you might kill your child.
Because you people don't understand
sense of rhythm.
- [cheering]
- [AY] Play that song again.
["Trigger" plays]
[cheering]
Pause, pause, pause.
[in Pidgin]
A white person, this same song.
White man dance to this same song.
Play, play, play.
["Trigger" plays]
[laughing]
Stop, stop, stop...
You would kill yourself.
It's not everything I would do,
you try to do.
[cheering]
The whites, they're very, very different.
That's why you'll hear something
like Hurricane Katrina.
Hurricane Katrina.
What is Hurricane Katrina?
Just because water left their beach.
You just hear that,
"Hundred white people died."
Why? Because water left the beach.
I don't know what exactly is wrong
with my white people.
What is wrong? What is the problem?
You guys, you need some help.
Water left the beach.
And a hundred white people died.
Never in the history of Lagos.
That water would leave my beach.
You would hear that two Yoruba men died.
It is impossible.
As soon as they see the water coming,
[in Yoruba]
My dear wife, the water is approaching...
Let's get out of here immediately.
They are gone.
You will never see a Black man wait.
A Black man will never wait.
[in Pidgin] White people...
as we are here now,
if a lion should enter this place
right now,
you will not see
any Black man here present.
[in Pidgin] Even my friend,
Pastor Badu would leave his flocks behind.
[laughing]
Every Black man here would take off.
But a white man
will be looking at the lion.
"Oh, my God.
Is that a lion?
How did it get in here?"
[in Pidgin] Silly you. Keep waiting.
The lion will tell you how.
Just be... Wait, the lion will tell you.
My brother.
Where are you from please?
I'd like to know.
I'm from here.
You're from here.
This particular venue.
Okay. Uh, what do you do?
Uh, I pilot drones.
Okay.
What about your father?
What does your father do?
Immigrations officer.
[cheering]
I cover myself with the blood of my wife.
I cover myself with the blood of wife.
Anything that will make me
go back to Nigeria.
- Holy ghost!
- [crowd] Fire!
- Holy ghost!
- [crowd] Fire!
What?
You know, I've never met your father,
but he's somebody I know I'll love.
[cheering]
I don't even need to meet your father.
I love your father.
So, when you go back home,
just say you met this, uh...
African comedian. He was so hilarious.
But please, we did the show inside church.
[laughing, cheering]
And I can't remember us collecting money.
- Did I collect money from you?
- [crowd] No!
- Did I collect money from you?
- [crowd] No!
You heard that, right?
[in Yoruba] Do not bring a curse
upon your generation and yourself.
[laughing]
I just said,
"Africans are so proud of you."
[cheering]
On a serious note,
I want to ask you a question.
And I want you
to be very, very sincere with me.
Now, if you are in a certain environment...
Hmm?
...and someone comes
and take your father...
away from you...
forcefully,
without your father's consent.
Then an opportunity comes for you
to be with your father again.
Your father that was taken away
from you forcefully.
Would you be willing to go back,
or you'll like to be where your father is?
Uh...
No.
I would... I wouldn't.
- You'll be with your father?
- Yeah.
You'll be with your father,
that's what we're talking about.
Your father's people came to carry
our forefathers as slaves,
a long, long time ago.
We were not ready.
When they came, we were not ready.
So, we now happen to know
that our relatives are
the Kanye West and the Jay-Z's.
We see them from Africa
and we have decided to come
and stay with our relatives.
So, why would you be asking me
how long am I staying?
We are going nowhere. We die here.
Tell your father I said so.
[cheering, applauding]
[cheering continues]
[in Pidgin]
I see you all screaming my praises.
Whoa!
[in Pidgin] These white people are going
to wheel me out of here.
Wheel barrow is what they'll use carry me.
But I must say, the whites are different.
[in Pidgin] You see the way he responded.
As I'm talking to him,
I was talking to him, he was responding.
Very polite.
You put a Nigerian person and you're
talking to him like you're a person.
[in Pidgin] "AY, what is with the insults,
I came here to watch you perform?
I came to have fun
and not to be interviewed by you.
Same AY that we knew from way back
running around the streets
with fake superman branded briefs."
They will look for a way to let you...
The whites are different.
That's why you see a white boy.
A white boy goes to get water
in the refrigerator.
To eat bread, no butter.
And the next thing,
he says he wants to commit suicide.
Why?
Because there's no butter to eat bread.
Then you'll see them climb skyscraper.
You see the father begging, "John...
You can't do this, John.
John, you'd better come down, John. John."
Then they go and call police.
They'll bring ambulance on standby.
The idiotic John will be screaming back,
"I'm just going to die, leave me alone!"
They'll be begging John,
"John, you can't do this.
Your dad is here, your mum is here.
John, you can't do this."
Now, another idiot in Nigeria
who saw that movie.
So, he decided
that he wants to kill himself.
So, he went somewhere around Ojuelegba,
climbed one semi-skyscraper,
and said he was going to jump.
Now, the Nigerians were
going about their duty.
Nobody paid him attention.
He was just screaming, "I'm going to die!"
Nobody paid him attention. Nobody!
Until somebody said,
"Okay, let's just call Nigerian police.
This is Nigerian police now,
arriving the scene.
[mimicking Nigerian Police] "Uh-huh.
Where is the boy
that has said want to kill himself?
Okay, are you the boy?
Okay. I don't know.
What are you still waiting for? Now, jump.
Won't you jump?
Officer, please look for ladder,
climb up there and push him."
[laughing]
We don't have time for nonsense.
You want to kill yourself, kill yourself.
I just did a movie, I don't know
if you people saw a bit of the film.
Uh... Yeah.
- You saw a bit of it.
- [cheering]
Presently, it's the highest grossing movie
in Nigeria. Presently.
And then uh... Yes.
I want you people to see this guy.
I don't know he looks like.
Does he remind you of Jesus?
[laughing]
[in Hindu] Namaste. Namaste.
[in Hindu] Namaste. Namaste.
[in Pidgin]
Nemesis will catch up with you.
Namaste.
Wow! Please put your hands together
for Manoj, he's been coordinating.
[cheering]
I took Manoj to Nigeria
for the Premiere of...
Christmas in Miami.
Guess what?
Our girls...
Oh, my goodness.
[in Pidgin] I thought they were in love
with Manoj, but I guessed wrongly.
They want to escort him to the bathroom
and shave his hair.
Collect the hair.
It wasn't about him, it's the hair.
"Oh, my God! See that hair."
[in Pidgin]
Do you know how costly that is?
Manoj... Manoj is Indian.
Indians... Why do you people do this thing
in your movies?
In-between, you'll see them play music.
They will sing and dance.
Can you... Can you...
How do you people do that dance again?
I can do the singing,
but you'll do the dancing.
Yes, because I watched a lot
of Indian movies growing up.
[beatboxing]
[in Pidgin] I see you are fully prepared
to show your dancing skills
[singing in fake Hindu]
[singing continues]
- Ah, ah, ah, 14 years.
- [cheering]
Ah, ah! No. No.
Indian, leave here. Indian, leave here.
Indian! Ah!
[cheering]
Nollywood industry is growing now,
we're doing very, very well.
We're better now,
but in those days, it was terrible.
In Nollywood, it was very, very terrible.
Any Hollywood films you see,
you can never tell what the story is going
with the soundtrack.
They'll carry you along
smoothly and nicely.
But...
Nollywood, the ones we're used
to doing Asaba?
[laughing]
From the soundtrack,
you would know everything about this film.
For example,
if the title of the movie is Heartbreaker.
Or in the film,
there's a girl called Chioma.
From the soundtrack,
you will know everything.
You see something like this.
[soundtrack plays]
Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Chioma, Chioma, Chioma...
Chioma, where have you been?
The heartbreaker
Chioma, Chioma, Chioma...
The heartbreaker
Pause, pause, pause.
Why am I seeing the film?
Let me just listen to the soundtrack
and go home.
Why?
Oh, my God! Suspense.
Hollywood films' suspense.
You'll see the suspense, you will know
the suspense, it's what you call suspense.
Play, let's see.
- [soundtrack plays]
- This is Hollywood.
Somebody's going into the house.
Hello, Catty.
Catty, are you there?
- [cat meowing]
- Oh, Catty, I'm coming for you...
before you get kicked again.
Pause.
That's Hollywood.
Have you seen our own suspense?
The Asaba one?
Before this new one that we are doing.
Oh, God, our suspense will kill you.
[soundtrack plays]
[laughing]
Pause.
You enter the room, close door,
go to bed and sleep.
[laughing]
That's the suspense. How to go to bed.
[cheering]
Finally, accident scenes. Oh, my goodness.
You see a guy on the street
loaded with people.
The guy will run into a skyscraper.
You see accident.
Two cars will crash on the left.
Another four on the right.
Five in front,
they'll run into a building.
Everywhere explodes. [mimics explosion]
Have you seen Asaba accident scene
before now?
Asaba accident scene before now.
He's one of our popular actors
known as Jim Iyke.
You'll see Jim Iyke...
We don't get our accidents
on the busy streets.
Very quiet street.
Only Jim Iyke... in the car.
An accident is about to happen.
- [soundtrack plays]
- Chioma broke my heart.
What am I supposed to do?
I'm just going to go for a ride.
He'll enter his car.
Why did you do this to me Chioma?
Accident is about to happen.
Why did you do this to me Chioma?
Lonely road, all by himself.
The next thing you'll hear...
- Ah! Ah!
- [tires screech]
Ah!
- Ah!
- [screeching continues]
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
[car crash]
[cheering, applauding]
[chuckles]
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Our musicians are
doing us proud right now.
And they're grabbing the Grammys.
If you love Burna Boy here,
make some noise.
- [cheering]
- If you love Wizkid here, make some noise.
- Davido, yeah, make some noise.
- [cheering]
- Tiwa Savage, make some noise.
- [cheering]
These people are doing us proud.
Now there's something that these
white people do that I don't understand.
White people want to... like to claim
dominance in almost everything.
I'm gonna say this line again.
Sorry, I'm not picking on the whites.
I'm not a racist.
I'm just doing comedy.
And comedy is what I do for a living
and that's all I do.
And when I say white people,
it is not detrimental.
It's just me saying that the title
of my show is spotting the difference.
So, I just want you to be open
to the difference and enjoy it.
Because I can prophesy
into your life right now.
Let me prophesy into your life.
Oh, please put your hands together
for him.
- [cheering]
- Yeah.
Because this one that we're hearing,
that one's father is Immigration.
[in Pidgin] We have no idea whose dad is
a custom officer, or something else here.
[in Pidgin] Then it would be clear to say
my deportation process is confirmed.
[laughing]
White people, they love
to claim dominance in everything.
What's all these things
that these white people do?
You'll be in the missionary mission
and then you'll be asking woman questions.
You'll be doing something
and be asking questions.
Da-da-da. Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
- Who's your daddy?
- [laughing]
Who's your daddy?
Why do you people do that?
What's the meaning of that?
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
And if they don't even ask
who's your daddy,
they'll say, "What's my name?"
"Tell me baby, what's my name?"
"What's my name? What's..."
- How can you not know your own name?
- [laughing]
How can you not know your own name?
In Africa, we don't ask such questions.
We don't even need to ask you.
I mean the He that is in us
is enough to make you say your name,
your father's name, everything.
Let's assume now, as Nigerians,
we decided to be asking questions
in our language.
Do you know how funny that will sound?
I just carry somebody's daughter now.
The next thing I'm saying is, "Hey, baby...
[in Yoruba] Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
[in Yoruba] Louder, I want to hear it.
How annoying will that sound?
Or this Indian man
that just left here now.
[mimicking in Hindu] What's that?
There's something I know,
the white people are very, very emotional.
Very emotional.
And I like that.
It worked for me one time.
And, uh...
You know, when the white person tells you,
"I'm afraid
I can't help you."
Just know that he's actually afraid,
you will not get help.
Anytime you hear that phrase,
"I'm afraid."
Or, "I'm sorry,
I can't help you."
We don't do that where we come from,
we tell you the opposite.
In Nigeria, when we look at you and say,
"Uh, Mr. Man with all due respect."
Just know
that you're about to be disrespected.
[laughing]
So, I was running late.
To go back on this day, I was travelling
back to Nigeria, I was running late.
So, the lady said to me. "I'm afraid
you came late, you can't make this flight,
I'm sorry."
Ah!
Then suddenly I realized
that the white people are very emotional.
So, I decided to work
on the emotions of this lady.
And I said, "Hello, ma'am.
Please, I promised my little girl
that I was gonna be there
at her graduation.
And I just have to fly.
Please, anything you can do.
I promise that, I'm trying to make up
with my daughter, please.
Try and do something.
Put me on this flight.
Please, I beg of you. I know that."
White... Immediately, it worked.
She carried out her walkie-talkie...
[mimics ringing]
"Can you please hold the flight? I got
a man here, he promised his daughter..."
[laughing]
And I made the flight.
I made the flight.
I made the damn flight!
[applauding]
And she ended up saying,
"Say me well to your daughter."
Oh, you white people, you are good.
Very polite!
So, I found myself in Nigeria.
Two days later,
I was traveling to Abuja.
I said, let me try the same trick
because I was missing my flight.
So, the minute,
I walk up to the lady,
she was there, chewing gum, looking at me.
[mimicking chewing gum]
"Uh-huh?"
I said, "Madam.
[in Pidgin]
Please, my child is graduating,
I promised my child
that I will the attend the graduation.
Please, let me not miss this flight."
Her mouth... Chewing gum and looking at me.
[mimicking chewing gum]
"How many children do you have?"
I said, "One."
"Hmm, I have seven.
I have promised them so many things
they have gotten nothing.
Go and buy another ticket."
[laughing]
The white people understand
what is called karaoke.
And they do it so very well.
And then, it's nice.
Let's play... Do a karaoke song.
We're all going to sing the song together.
I want it... You to put it on the screen.
Put it up on the screen.
Let's go. Let's go, everybody.
Let's go.
Would you run and never look back
[AY] Let's go, people.
[crowd continues singing]
Sing it like you mean it.
Would you cry if you saw me crying
[AY] Oh, my goodness!
Would you save my soul tonight
Oh, my goodness!
Would you tremble
If I touched your lips
Would you laugh,
Oh, please tell me this
Now would you die
For the one you love?
[speaking Pidgin]
Hold me in your arms tonight
[AY] Now this is the part
I want you to carry.
[in Pidgin] The whites are good. Let's go.
I can be your hero, baby
Let's go, everybody. Let's do this.
I can kiss away the pain
[in Pidgin] Oh, white people,
you are good.
I will stand by you forever
Let's go.
You can take my breath away
Oh, no, no, stop it.
I'm getting emotional, please.
Stop it, I'm so emotional right now.
[in Pidgin] The whites are good.
They are just too good. Too good.
Please put your hands together
for the white people here.
- [applauding]
- You're good, very good.
Very, very good.
So, I saw this,
I decided to go back home...
to introduce my own karaoke.
We just enjoyed one now.
Okay, let's also enjoy
the Nigerian karaoke.
- Play.
- [music plays]
Uh-huh.
Aha!
[AY] Mr. Flavor pon the dance floor
On Ashawo Remix
- [song continues playing]
- Seven times.
Seven times!
Two!
Three!
What!
Four!
Five!
Six!
Seven!
Now listen...
Ife bara aba, abago
Listen!
[AY] Sing it, sing it if you can.
[singing]
See the Nigerians.
[singing continues]
What is "kporokotokpotomkpom?"
Piompiompiompiompiom
Oh yeah
Wuru wuru baby
Oh, yeah
Corner corner baby
I go tell my mama
I go tell my papa
Listen.
You be waka waka baby
What is this?
Now, this part will kill you.
This part will... See... The part.
The part is coming.
The part is coming.
What is this? What is this?
What is this? Kpom let's go.
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpom kpom, kporokotom
Kpakolo kpa, Kpakolo kpa, Kpakolo kpa
Kpom kpom, Achari bobo, ukwu
Nwa baby, Achukwu rege Kpom kpom
Ashawo, Awusha, Awusha
Ashawo, Ashawo, Awusha, Kpom kpom
What is this?
[crowd singing]
All right. Stop this song, stop this song.
[cheering, applauding]
Atlanta, thank you very much
for coming out tonight.
Thank you for showing me love.
I love you, I love you,
thank you very much.
And God bless you real good,
we'll do this again.