Spring Awakening: Those You've Known (2022) Movie Script
-(CARS HORN HONKING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
("DON'T DO SADNESS"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
-FAN: Thank you, darling.
-LEA MICHELE: Of course,
there you go.
-FAN: Thank you.
-LEA: We are reuniting
the cast of Spring Awakening
for the first time in 15 years
for a one-night benefit concert,
benefitting
the incredible Actors' Fund.
JONATHAN GROFF:
Getting the chance
to come back together
after 15 years
and do this concert,
and touch again
the material
that changed our lives,
-is gonna be insane.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LAUREN PRITCHARD:
I don't know that I ever thought
we would ever do this again.
There was never fuckin'
anything like this
that's ever happened
on a Broadway stage.
LEA: Even now,
trying to explain
the show to my husband.
So, there are these kids
in the 1800s.
But we pull out microphones,
and then we sing
like rock songs?
-(VOCALIZING)
-JONATHAN: The show is
so hard to describe.
1891 Germany, rock music,
there's children in it.
They're having sex on stage.
(CHUCKLES)
LEA: He's like,
"So, is it like Rent?"
I'm like, it's not like Rent.
(CHUCKLES)
This character is jerking
this one off,
this one's abused,
these two have a gay scene,
abortion, the sex, the suicide.
And we were all so young.
STEVEN SATER: I could
never imagine
that it would be on Broadway.
But it touched a nerve.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
-JONATHAN: It was a hit.
We weren't just doing
a show anymore,
we were doing the show.
There were kids sleeping
on the streets to come
to this show and feel seen.
Like, they're not alone.
And this thing that they did
15 years ago still means
so much to people.
LEA: We became of those
shows where everyone
really blew up.
We got movies
and television shows.
LILLI COOPER:
I've been in four Broadway shows
and I got nominated
for a Tony Award,
and it started
with Spring Awakening.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-My next guest you know
from Mindhunter,
Frozen and Hamilton.
He's now in
The Matrix Resurrections.
LEA: Fifteen years later,
we're doing
this reunion concert.
"And now we get to experience
this show again. I'm excited
-and a little scared. Woo-hoo."
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
LEA: And everyone keeps saying,
"Oh, it's just gonna
come right back, it's just gonna
come right back."
And then we got to the theater
and I was like,
-"Oh, my God, am I ready?"
-Whoo!
STAGE CREW: Ladies
and gentlemen,
this is your places call,
-places for the top of the show.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
LILLI: We were
pinching ourselves.
-We're doing it again.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
LILLI: The second we
all walked out,
it felt like
we were The Beatles.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
CONTINUES)
JONATHAN: The plan
was we walk in and sit down,
but we were so connected
to each other that we knew
to stand there and enjoy
this wave of enthusiasm.
And everyone is like,
"Holy fucking shit."
Like,
"This is happening right now?"
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(JONATHAN BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
(CARS HONKING)
(BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
This picture... (CHUCKLES)
...I texted to everyone
'cause this really
sums up our experience.
That was happening.
The whole group of us,
the cast, the band
haven't been in a room
together for 15 years.
Today is our day one,
we're gonna do,
like, music rehearsal.
I haven't, like,
rehearsed anything yet.
(VOCALIZES)
LEA: I haven't performed
in such a long time,
or sang or acted in forever,
and your vocal cords,
they're a muscle.
So you want to stretch out
your muscle and warm it up
before you just make it go,
you know,
a thousand miles per hour.
(VOCALIZES)
(VOCALIZES)
Is it there? It's there.
Is it there? Ah!
The hardest thing I think
in doing it is gonna be...
(INHALES, BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
...not crying while singing.
("ALL THAT'S KNOWN"
PLAYING ON PHONE)
-On I go
-(EXHALES)
(SINGING ALONG)
To wonder and to learning
Fuck. (INHALES,
BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
LEA: Okay. On to the next thing.
(EXHALES) Thank you.
I don't normally do this
with my bike helmet, guys.
(CHUCKLES)
It's going to be a tearful,
probably like six days,
and then
we're gonna do the show.
LEA: Thank you so much.
-LEA: Hey.
-JONATHAN: Oh, hi.
LEA: They're gonna think
we planned it.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
JONATHAN: Oh, my God.
We've met,
you may not remember me.
It was like 15 years ago.
We all have this primal thread
going through all of us.
(CHUCKLES)
LEA: I just want to be
in this world
with these people
who have always
made me feel so safe.
-Whoo!
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JOHN GALLAGHER JR.:
It's just an immense gift
to get a chance
to revisit the piece,
to revisit my friends and family
'cause it was such a community
that we created.
-STEVEN: Okay.
-LEA: Oh, my God.
JONATHAN: The cast of
Spring Awakening
is on a text chain.
And this year, Lauren wrote me
and said,
"Jonathan, I had a dream
that we were all together
doing this show.
And I think we should do
an anniversary concert."
LAUREN: And I woke up
the next morning and I was like,
"We have to do this. I want
to do this one more time."
JONATHAN: It was COVID,
so the schedules were open.
We decided we're gonna do
a one-night benefit concert
for The Actor's Fund.
We asked everyone in the cast,
-they immediately said yes.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
We did it! We did it! We did it!
(CHUCKLES) We did it!
It's kind of insane
and miraculous.
ALL: Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim!
Whoo!
-We've got work to do!
-ALL: Yeah!
JOHN: I'm really nervous.
I haven't sung these songs in,
you know, over a decade.
How are they going to feel?
How is it gonna fit?
Is it--
Can I still hit the high notes?
JOHN:
(ALL LAUGH)
I don't have to do--
I don't have to do anything.
LEA: We have three
rehearsal days,
and then we're gonna
perform it onstage.
So, I'm scared.
I told Jonathan
that I hadn't been
that nervous or anxious
since the day my son was born.
(GUITAR PLAYING
"MAMA WHO BORE ME"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK)
LEA: It was a tsunami
of emotions.
Mama who bore me
Mama who gave me
No way to handle things
Who made me so sad
Mama the weeping
Mama the angels...
JONATHAN: Watching her
sing that song,
I was like, "Oh, my God."
I saw this 19-year-old girl,
memory. And I just lost my mind.
Some pray that one day
Christ will come a-callin'
And they light a candle
And hope that it glows
And some
Just lie there crying
For him to come
And find them
But when he comes
They don't know
How to go
Mama who bore me
Mama who gave me
No way to handle things
Who made me so bad
Mama the weeping
Mama the angels
No sleep in heaven
Or Bethlehem
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)
JONATHAN: She has
one of those voices
that just, like, slays me.
In 2006,
she would sing that song
and always sound perfect.
Like, fuck her.
She's one of my dearest friends.
We had this experience
in Spring Awakening
that changed our lives.
Mama who bore me
Mama who gave me
Mama the angels
Who made me so sad
-Mama who bore me
-Mama who bore me
-Mama who gave me...
-Mama who gave me...
STEVEN: This book,
this is Frank Wedekind's
Fruhlings Erwachen.
This is the original version
of Spring Awakening
that I bought in a
German bookstore...
(INHALES) ...in 1999.
I'm the kind of guy who reads
random old plays. (LAUGHS)
It's this 19th century story
about the deafness of adults
to what's going on in the hearts
of the young children.
That longing and desire
and frustration of young people.
It's as if the entire world
were mesmerized
by penis and vagina.
The 19th century characters,
they're Lutheran.
They're growing up
in a Lutheran culture
when history and science
are under attack.
We are hardly
here today to conjecture.
These kids are all oppressed
by their parents,
clergy, and teachers.
To God, to our parents,
to our teachers.
We can never render
sufficient gratitude.
STEVEN: Our main character
Melchior is on a hero's journey.
Questioning everything,
trying to break free.
Are you then suggesting
there is no further room
for critical thought
or interpretation?
Why indeed,
then do we have... (GASPS)
STEVEN: He falls in love
with Wendla,
who aches with desire,
but knows nothing about sex.
I'm ashamed to even ask.
But then who can I ask
but you? (INHALES)
Wendla, child! You cannot
imagine that I could--
You can't imagine that
I still believe in the stork.
STEVEN: Moritz,
Melchior's best friend,
is an anxious teen
flailing in school
because he's agonized
by the thought of puberty.
He's really struggling with it.
I can't stop thinking about it.
This part, here.
STEVEN: They're struggling
with sexual desire and puberty,
and these children
have to learn to
mentor themselves,
because they have
no adults they can rely on.
It's your terrible chastity
that's driving me to this!
Hanschen!
That's enough in there!
STEVEN: And the adult refusal
to heed those
children's frustrations
results in tragic consequences.
-You failed. Haven't you?
-MORITZ: I only meant to--
-I see it in your face.
-But Father--
No sleep in heaven
Or Bethlehem
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
In 1999, in the wake
of the shootings at Columbine...
(INHALES) ...I felt
we're living this.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
-STEVEN: That was
what gave impetus
to doing this show.
CBS NEWS REPORTER:
Fifteen people died
in the carnage yesterday,
28 are injured.
Everyone around me got shot.
STEVEN: My determination
for the show was to touch
the troubled heart of youth
around the world.
And it had always seemed to me
that this play was
like an opera in waiting.
BRIAN C. JOHNSTON: Living
It's the bitch
-Yeah.
-Of living
Bitch, just the bitch...
Yeah, bitch...
DUNCAN SHEIK: In 1999,
I met Steven Sater
because we are both
practicing Buddhists.
He said, "Read this play.
I think we should adapt it
as a musical."
I'm a singer, songwriter
who makes records.
In 1996,
I released my first album.
It did pretty well.
So, my first reaction
was just like, "Plays are cool,
plays with music, all good,
but like musicals?" That was
definitely not my cup of tea
at that moment.
(SINGING QUIETLY)
It's the bitch of living
It's the bitch of living
STEVEN: Duncan said,
"If I were to do anything
in musical theater, I want
the music to be relevant
to the culture at large."
And I thought...
(INHALES) ...the place
that these unheard yearnings
of young people... (INHALES)
...have been expressed
and relieved for generations
has been rock music.
Looks so nasty
In those khakis...
DUNCAN: So I read the play.
I thought it was awesome.
You know, so racy
and so sort of punk rock.
And Steven just started
faxing me lyrics.
-(DUNCAN CHUCKLING)
-All right, let's start it
again, from the top.
MICHAEL MAYER: In 1999,
Steven Sater called
out of the blue,
and he said he had this idea.
Wait, Michael, do you want
us all to stand up?
Okay, so it's-- But the thing
that really... (IMITATES MUSIC)
And then we add him.
I had some success
and failure back-to-back
early on in my Broadway career,
and Broadway was never something
that I had dreamed of.
I was doing my first film,
but I loved Spring Awakening.
It's catnip for a director.
Then we add Johnny.
And then on that, everyone's up.
It was unfinished.
There was never
a definitive version of it.
DUNCAN: We had
this initial conception
that maybe we should set it in,
like, 1950s America.
And then really quickly,
I realized as much as I don't
like musical theater,
I really don't like
'50s rock and roll.
That's like not my thing either.
And Michael was the one
who was like, "Oh, yeah,
let's just make the music
completely contemporary."
STEVEN: But I've never wanted
to write the kind of lyrics
that forward plot.
This is part of how...
(INHALES) ...our show
is a different kind of musical.
I wanted them to take us
into what cannot be said
and what can only be felt.
MICHAEL MAYER: And then I had
an image of a boy
in his 19th century
German tight little jacket
and breeches, and little shoes
and stockings,
pulling a microphone out
and becoming in that moment,
any kid, any time
dealing with this universal
teenage angst.
("THE BITCH OF LIVING"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
God, I dreamed
There was an angel
Who could hear me
Through the wall
As I cried out like in Latin
This is so not life at all
Help me out
Out of this nightmare
Then I heard her silver call
She said
"Just give it time, kid
I come to one and all"
She said, "Give me
That hand please...
The sound of John Gallagher
singing the beginning
of "Bitch of Living"
is Spring Awakening.
It's like... (EXHALES)
Oh, we'll work
That silver magic
Then we'll aim it
At the wall
She said, "Love may
Make you blind, kid"
But I wouldn't mind at all
-It's the bitch of living
-Bitch, just the bitch
-Nothing but your hand
-Just the bitch, yeah
Just the bitch of living
As someone you can't stand
See, each night
It's, like, fantastic
Tossing, turning without rest
'Cause my day's at the piano
With my teacher
And her breasts
And the music's
Like the one thing
I can even get at all
And those breasts
I mean, God, please
Just let those apples fall
It's the bitch of living
-Bitch
-Ah, ah, ah
With nothing going on
Nothing going on
Just the bitch of living
Asking, "What went wrong?"
Do they think we want this?
Oh, who knows...
So, we started working.
We had a handful of songs
and a handful of scenes,
and a handful
of lovely young actors.
LEA: I did the first workshop
of Spring Awakening
when I was 14 years old.
Even at 14, I was like,
"What is this?
I have to do this."
STEVEN: For the years
we worked on it...
(CHUCKLES) ...we were
rejected everywhere,
and everyone thought
we were out of our minds.
We're sending a script
with this classical diction
and German names
that no one could pronounce
and a rock CD.
MICHAEL: And then
I invited Tom Hulce,
with whom
I was doing my first film,
to come and see a workshop.
As soon as he said 1890s
in Germany,
and then the guitar plays
and the microphones come out,
I thought, well,
that's a genius theatrical idea.
I thought, "Oh, my God,
this is kind of crazy
and amazing."
And six months later,
we got a concert
at Lincoln Center
in the American Songbook series.
This was it. We invited
every artistic director,
every commercial producer
we knew,
and we got them all there.
DUNCAN: We had spent three years
working on it at that point,
and it was sort of dead
in the water.
It really was
a last-ditch effort
to sort of save the project
from nonexistence.
See them showering
At gym class
Bobby Mahler, he's the best
Looks so nasty
In those khakis
God, my whole life's
Like some test
-Then there's
Marianna Wheelan
-(CHORUS VOCALIZING)
As if she'd return my call
It's like, just kiss
Some ass, man
Then you can screw 'em all
-(ALL VOCALIZING)
-(MUSIC BUILDS)
-It's the bitch of living
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
CHORUS:
It's the bitch of living
-And living in your head
-In your head
-It's the bitch
-Of living
And sensing God is dead
-It's the bitch of living
-You watch me, just watch me
And trying to get ahead
MELCHIOR:
I'm calling and one day
-It's the bitch of living
-And just getting out of bed
-All will know
-It's the bitch of living
Living, living
-And getting what you get
-All will know
-Just the bitch of living
-And knowing this is it
God, is this it?
This can't be it
Oh, God, what a bitch
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
The Lincoln Center concert
was a complete dog of a night.
TOM HULCE: It occurred
to Michael and I, who were,
you know, standing towards
the back, that something
was very wrong in the room
and, like, it was clear
that there wasn't
a connection happening,
and we realized
that nobody could find
who was singing
because by the time
they found the person,
somebody else was singing.
There was not a laugh.
No one really knew
what the hell was going on.
TOM: It became clear
that we were possibly
at a disastrous experience...
(LAUGHS)
...that we had put together.
And then about 25 minutes later,
a 15-year-old girl sang
"The Dark I Know Well."
Suddenly all the focus
just went... (EXHALES)
("THE DARK I KNOW WELL"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING )
Martha, time for bed now.
There is a part I can't tell
About the dark I know well
Martha, darling, put on
that new nightgown,
the pretty ruffled one
your father bought you.
She has this secret
that she can never share.
Time for bed now, child
Mom just smiles
That smile...
It's about having a wall up
to be able to survive.
Just like she never saw me
So I leave
Wanting just to hide
Knowing deep inside
You are coming to me
LILLI: Her father
is molesting her,
and her mother
is accepting that.
You say all you want
Is just a kiss goodnight
Then you hold me
And you whisper
"Child, the Lord won't mind"
It's just you and me
Child, you're a beauty
God, it's good, the lovin'
Ain't it good tonight?
You ain't seen nothing yet
Gonna treat you right
It's just you and me
Child, you're a beauty
LILLI: Martha sings,
then Ilse sings.
And it was
a terrifying realization
that there are countless women
and girls going through this.
I don't scream
Though I know it's wrong
I just play along
I lie there and breathe
Lie there and breathe
I want to be strong
I want the world to find out
That you're dreaming on me
Me and my beauty
-Me and my beauty
-Me and my beauty
You say all you want
Is just a kiss goodnight
Then you hold me
And you whisper
Child, the Lord won't mind
It's just you and me...
LAUREN: That is so many
fuckin' people's reality.
I had that happen to me
when I was a child
by a family member.
And I was very, very young.
I was four years old
till I was eight years old.
And singing about it
is fucking weird. (CHUCKLES)
Child, you're a beauty
There's a part I can't tell
About the dark I know well
There's a part I can't tell
About the dark I know well
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
After Lincoln Center,
we simultaneously
had this sense of like, "Yes,
we're going to go to Broadway,
and this is gonna be
the best thing ever."
And then like, uh, like
"What are we doing?"
And I thought,
"Oh well, you know what?
We did our best, right?"
Except, Neil Pepe from
the Atlantic Theater Company
and Ira Pittelman,
who's an independent producer,
were there that night.
The two of them liked it.
And so out of what was frankly
a fairly catastrophic evening
for me and Tom,
came an opportunity.
-At that point,
we were all systems go.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
TOM: Once we knew the Atlantic
was gonna give us a home,
we cast these young people
from all across
the United States.
MICHAEL: Lea came in.
She was 14.
She had three Broadway shows
to her credit.
She had this astonishing voice,
and we fell instantly
in love with her.
But it wasn't like a done deal.
So she worked her ass off.
I was so concerned
with doing good
and making Michael happy.
It's like all I wanted.
TOM: Jonathan, he had been on
a tour of The Sound of Music.
Jonathan Groff was,
to my mind, a chorus boy.
JONATHAN: I came into
the audition and the callbacks
as the wild card Melchior.
I was the last one on the list.
When we first met Lauren,
she took off her shoes
and stood barefoot
and opened her mouth and, like,
blew us away.
JOHN: I went and auditioned.
I was really nervous.
I didn't have
any formal vocal training.
I got a final callback,
and then I walked out
of my final callback
because I had such
tremendous stage fright.
But I turned back around
and I went back up,
and then I got the part.
LILLI: I was 15
when I was cast in the show.
I was in school during the day,
and then doing homework
in between school
and the show at night.
MICHAEL: These kids, they were
in high school, you know,
Remi and Gerard were tutored
while we were doing this.
For a lot of them, it was their
first real professional gig.
They were amazing and brilliant.
And then we did rehearsals,
and then we opened
at the Atlantic.
LEA: The Atlantic Theater
was this hidden gem.
It was a church.
And the eeriness of that
and just those old walls
and, um, the old brick.
There's just something
about that space
that I think blessed us, truly.
("TOUCH ME"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
-MELCHIOR: Touch me
-CHORUS: All silent
-MELCHIOR: All silent
-CHORUS: Baby, just tell me
MELCHIOR: Tell me please...
JOHN: That was really
where I think
we all really became friends,
and we became a family.
MELCHIOR: Consume my wine...
It was a cauldron of hormones
and excitement
and dreams of success.
It was like the coolest thing.
I was with these cool kids.
JONATHAN: We were going
to dinners together.
We were doing this show.
It was like this summer camp
of all summer camp experiences.
MICHAEL: There was a big...
I don't even know
what you'd call it,
mattress or pile of cushions
or something.
And they were just all
piled on top of each other
all the time.
-CHORUS: Touch me
-GEORG: Oh, oh
-CHORUS: Just try it
-GEORG: Just, just try it
-CHORUS: Now that's it
-GEORG: Now there that's it
Oh God, that's heaven
Touch me
-I'll love your light
-Oh, I'll love you right
We'll wander down
Where the sins cry
-Touch me
-Oh
Just like that
Now lower down
Where the sins cry
-Love me
-Oh, love me, yeah
-Just for a bit
-Ooh
We'll wander down
Where the winds sigh
Where the winds sigh...
LEA: It was very intense.
If you were able to see
Spring Awakening
at the Atlantic Theater,
you got to see something
very special.
-Of course they will, yeah.
-(ALL APPLAUD)
You could also back up, Lea.
You could back up,
back up, back up,
Where the winds sigh
Where the winds sigh
Where the winds sigh
And you could even sit
if you want.
-And then, Melchi--
-LEA: For the applause.
Yes, sit for the applause
and then enter.
LEA: When I first met Jonathan,
I felt like I had to take him
-under my wing.
-(CHUCKLES)
He was this country mouse,
and I was this city mouse.
Jonathan came from the farm
in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
He had gel so hard in his hair,
it was cement.
This is my favorite spot.
My private place for thinking.
-I'm sorry. (CHUCKLES)
-No, no, please.
JONATHAN: I was so excited
working with Lea.
So...
(SMACKS LIPS)
How have you been doing-- fuck.
-(LAUGHS)
-(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)
JONATHAN:
Lea had done Spring Awakening
since she was 14 years old,
in workshops.
And her work was astounding.
Can't you sit for a moment?
When you lean back
against this oak and stare
up at the clouds...
...you start to think
hypnotic things.
-I have to get back before 5:00.
-But when you lie here,
such a strange, wonderful peace
settles over you.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
-LEA: I wanted to help him.
I thought, "We'll become friends
so that we can, you know,
make our characters believable,
and then that'll be that."
("THE WORD OF YOUR BODY"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
Don't feel a thing, you wish
Grasping at pearls
With my fingertips
But then I fell in love with him
in more ways than one.
Holding her hand
Like some little tease
Haven't you heard
The word of my wanting?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound
Oh, I'm gonna bruise you...
JONATHAN: Lea and I
were so young.
We were still figuring out
who we were.
Oh, you're gonna be
My bruise...
We were playing these parts,
but we were working shit out
with each other.
Just too unreal, all this
Watching his world
Slip through my fist
Playing with her
In your fantasies
Haven't you heard the word
How I want you?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound
Oh, I'm gonna bruise you
Oh, you're gonna be
My bruise
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
STEVEN: That is about
the bruise of love.
It's the anticipation of a wound
in feeling desire, love.
These young people,
in being drawn to one another,
what they sense is not just,
"Oh, I wanna be with you,"
it's, "I'm gonna be
wounded by you.
I'm gonna carry
the wound of this desire,
carrying the bruise of love
-the rest of my life."
-Please. Please, Wendla.
(LEA HUMMING)
MICHAEL: I think there's
too much kissing.
I think that you've got
nowhere to go then.
JONATHAN: Yeah.
Well, I think when
we're really doing it,
it will be okay.
Lea and I were given
this material
where we had to fall in love.
-I could do like this?
-I say, "Melchior."
JONATHAN: Michael Mayer,
here he is with these kids,
and he has to direct...
a like four-minute,
incredibly detailed
and choreographed...
sex scene with children.
-Melchior.
-MICHAEL: That's it.
She can see it.
You don't have to--
-No, wait. No.
-Right, exactly.
-I can't. We're not supposed to.
-What?
But the first thing
I felt was...
"They're gonna know I'm gay.
Fuck, I've never had sex
with a girl, I'm in the closet.
I'm gonna just pretend like
I know what I'm doing."
And then we kiss again.
And then I find the neck.
I wanted the choreography
to tell me what to do
and give me the moves
and allow me to express myself,
and thank God for Michael Mayer.
-Don't.
-MICHAEL: Yes, but maybe take it
away from your body.
-Don't.
-MICHAEL: Yes. Exactly.
Please?
MICHAEL: I was aware
he was gay,
but that's his own
personal life,
and he'll deal with it
when it's time for him
to deal with it.
And if he wants to talk to me,
I'll be there for it.
JONATHAN: And then
I'll come in here.
LEA: Mm-hmm.
And then I can come into here
and you stop me.
Stop him again. Wait.
-Melchi, no, it's just, it's--
-What? Sinful?
JONATHAN: Coming from
a religious background
surrounded by the Amish,
I felt... (INHALES SHARPLY)
...like, I felt...
ashamed of who I was.
(BOTH MOAN)
Melchi, no!
-I can't, we're not supposed to.
-What?
I also, I guess,
was afraid that if...
people knew who I was,
they wouldn't find
what I was doing believable.
Not supposed to what?
Love?
I don't know.
Is there such a thing?
JONATHAN: But Lea and I,
we were grasping
onto each other.
We were really in love.
I hear your heart.
("I BELIEVE"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JONATHAN: I feel you
breathing everywhere.
The rain, the hay.
LEA: I was so in love with him.
Finally, I cornered him
at a party,
and I said to him,
"Why don't you love me?
Just love me.
Why can't you love me?
Like date me, love me?"
And I just saw this look
in his eyes, and in that moment,
-I knew.
-Please, Wendla.
CHORUS: I believe
I believe, I believe
Oh, I believe
-It's just that it's--
-What?
-Sinful?
-No.
CHORUS: All will be forgiven
I believe...
-I don't know.
-Then why?
CHORUS: I believe, I believe
Because it's good?
Because it makes us
feel something?
CHORUS:
All will be forgiven
I believe, I believe,
I believe
Oh, I believe
There is love in heaven
I believe, I believe
I believe
-Don't be scared.
-CHORUS: Oh, I believe...
LEA: I realized in that moment,
this is deep.
And, um...
and I need to,
like, protect this.
This is intense. (SNIFFLES)
And I never asked him
ever again about his sexuality,
and it was sort of this--
I think he felt safe with me
because he knew that I knew,
and we could be best friends.
And our relationship
just grew and grew
to the point where
we would do the show
and then we would
go home together.
-There is love in heaven
-All will be forgiven
-There is love in heaven
-All will be forgiven
-Wait!
-It's just me.
There is love in heaven...
Just me.
There is love in heaven
-I believe
-All will be forgiven
There is love in heaven
Now there!
-All will be forgiven
-I believe...
-Now that's...
-Yes?
(MOANS) Yes.
There is love in heaven
-Peace and joy be with them
-All will be forgiven
-Harmony and wisdom
-All will be forgiven
Peace and joy be with them
Harmony and wisdom
-WENDLA: Melchior! (GASPS)
-CHORUS: Oh, I believe
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
LEA: That's why Jonathan
and I became so close.
We were so intertwined.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
JONATHAN: We made out
so hard in this play.
We would have like sweat,
and snot was coming
out of my nostril,
and saliva,
and tongues and mouths.
Lea's like, eat-- her like mouth
is on top of my mouth.
LEA: We were so close.
At one point, I literally showed
him my whole vagina.
(LAUGHS) I can confirm that.
(CHUCKLES) He was like,
"I've never seen
a woman's vagina before.
Would you show me?"
And I was like, "Sure."
In particular,
I was interested in like
the-- the, like, geography
of the different parts,
because I always thought
that the clitoris was like...
(LAUGHS)
...like right
above the vagina hole.
And I took a desk lamp.
And she took
a fucking desk lamp.
And showed him.
That's how close we are.
I didn't realize
it was so far north.
And now I know. (LAUGHS)
Does that explain it?
(LAUGHS)
I love that she told you that,
oh my God.
But I have never seen
Jonathan naked.
I've never seen his penis.
JONATHAN: That summer
at the Atlantic Theater
was also very pressure filled.
I have a vivid memory
being in tech,
on the hayloft with Lea,
we're like half naked
on the swing,
and Ira Pittelman and Tom Hulce
are having a fight.
And Ira Pittelman is saying,
"We cannot do this on a stage.
We're gonna, like,
get arrested."
And Tom Hulce saying,
"This is what the show is.
We can't not do this.
This is what
Spring Awakening is about."
TOM: People called up and said,
"You cannot do this material."
Everybody was just freaked out.
MICHAEL: Spring Awakening
was gonna be my last play.
I was done with the theater.
Done with New York.
I was gonna move to L.A.
So I was gonna do it my way
no matter what,
and I didn't give a fuck
what anyone said.
TOM: We did
a huge amount of work.
A song went in, a song went out.
It was like the audience
was awakening to the show
at the same time the actors
were discovering
what it was they were doing.
STEVEN: People were
really moved.
They were standing up.
They might have understood
what was going on.
(LAUGHING) But they were
touched by this show, you know.
("AND THEN THERE WERE NONE"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JONATHAN: The first time
the New York Times came,
Michael put like sage
all over the theater.
Michael went back
to the dressing room
and just said to the cast...
"The future of this
is in your hands."
And that night, something
happened in that theater
that I had never
experienced before.
And it's like the entire
building levitated
and demanded to be
in a bigger place.
In The New York Times,
Charles Isherwood gave us
a fantastic review.
People started coming.
There were lines
around the block to get in.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Well, fine
Not like it's even
Worth the time
But still, you know
You wanted more
Sorry, it won't change
Been there before
JOHN: I was like,
"Wow, this is exciting."
The lines getting longer
for tickets every night,
and our run keeps extending,
and we're getting
standing ovations now
at the end of Act Two.
That didn't happen before.
The thing that sucks
Okay for me
A thousand bucks
I'm like scot-free
And I mean, please
That's all I need
Get real, okay
By now, you know the score
Then all the fancy people
started coming down.
David Byrne wants to come
to the show.
Lou Reed and
Laurie Anderson are there.
Keanu Reeves is like,
you know, hanging out.
And that was
a very fun summer. (CHUCKLES)
You wanna laugh
It's too absurd
You start to ask
Can't hear a word
You wanna crash and burn
Right, tell me more
CHRISTINE ESTABROOK:
Still, Herr Stiefel,
one thing in your letter
disturbed me.
Your... What shall we call it?
Veiled threat,
that should escape
not be possible,
you would take your own life?
TOM: The controversial nature
of this story
meant that we never thought
about Broadway.
We-- Like, how could you?
STEVEN: Moving the show
to Broadway
seemed to make no sense.
We had no advance sales.
We were selling out
a 200-seat theater,
but how were we gonna fill
a thousand seats?
We were campaigning for that.
"We," being, like...
(LAUGHING) Me.
And Duncan, probably.
JOHN: They called us in
early one day.
And that certainly was like
some alarms were going off,
like, "Wait a minute, what?
Why does Tom and Ira
want to talk?"
You know, it's like,
"Are we getting in trouble
for something?"
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Well, fine
Not like it's even
Worth the time
But still, you know
You wanted more...
And they said, "We just want
to tell you that, you know,
we're gonna be moving
to Broadway in the fall."
You wanna laugh
It's too absurd
You start to ask
Can't hear a word
-You're gonna crash and burn
-Right, tell me more
You start to cave
You start to cry
You try to run
Nowhere to hide
You wanna crumble up
And close that door
There were tears. People were
jumping for joy and shouting.
It was totally, totally surreal.
Just fuck it, right?
Enough, that's it
You'll still go on
Well, for a bit
Another day of utter shit
And then there were none...
My lifetime dream had come true.
A thing... (SNIFFLES)
...I never thought
could come true was coming true.
And then there were none
And then there were none
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
LEA: We were all really afraid
that the grandness
of the Eugene O'Neill
wouldn't be able to hold
that precious...
that it would go away,
that energy.
MICHAEL: I was really
freaked out about the concept
of moving it to Broadway.
I thought
that was a mistake, actually.
I never thought of this
as a Broadway show,
quite frankly,
but we all went into it
with every digit crossed,
and it really didn't start well.
("TOTALLY FUCKED"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JONATHAN: I was
in my dressing room
at the Eugene O'Neill.
And I said,
"Michael, I've never had
a dressing room before,
to myself.
This is like-- I don't know how
I'm going to decorate it."
And he was like, "Honey,
I wouldn't decorate
this dressing room.
I don't think we're gonna
be here for very long.
Don't get too excited."
And on Broadway,
we couldn't sell
half of the house.
There's a moment you know
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
You're fucked
Not an inch more room
To self-destruct
DUNCAN: It was
an 1100 seat house,
and when we were in previews,
we were playing
to 300 people a night.
I mean, Tom and Ira
were losing money big time.
It was a disaster.
Man, you're fucked
If you just freeze up
Can't do that thing...
The stage manager said,
"Hey, everyone, so...
you're gonna see a lot
of purple velvet out there.
The seats were purple velvet.
Just remember that
when you see the empty house.
Yeah, you're fucked
All right...
We really thought we were gonna
close right after we opened.
You can kiss
Your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked
Will they mess you up?
Well, you know
They're gonna try
Blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah
We spent months
holding each other
and hoping that
it was gonna last.
We opened in December.
March came around,
April came around.
We started losing an audience,
and it was a lot
of purple velvet.
-Wanna bundle up
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
With some big-ass lie
Long enough for them
To watch us quit
Long enough for you
To get out of it
MICHAEL:
We didn't do real business
until the Tony Award
nominations came out.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-JONATHAN: I remember
really understanding
the purpose of the Tonys
is to sell your show.
And so, the night before
the Tony nominations came out,
Lea and I during the show,
in our costumes,
in the second act,
went to the church,
the Actors' Chapel
across the street.
LEA: And I was like, you know,
"Please, God,
please help us tomorrow
with the Tony nominations,"
and blah, blah, blah.
And the next thing you know,
I look over
and Jonathan has his wallet,
and he takes out like
a 50-dollar bill, and he places
in the donation box.
And I was like,
"I didn't bring any money.
You're giving money
to the church?"
And she still is so pissed
that like I put more money in
and that's what got me
a Tony nomination.
Sure enough,
he got nominated and I didn't.
Jonathan Groff,
Spring Awakening.
I leapt out of my skin.
I couldn't believe that our show
got so many nominations.
Spring Awakening
got 11 nominations.
JOHN: The next thing I knew
was just my phone vibrating,
just text message
after text message.
-The Tonys were so crazy.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
And the Tony Award
goes to John Gallagher Jr.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
It was an amazing night.
And it was an out of body night.
We kept being back on stage
again and again.
-Spring Awakening,
Steven Sater.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Spring Awakening,
music by Duncan Sheik,
lyrics Steven Sater!
-Spring Awakening.
-Spring Awakening.
ANGELA LANSBURY:
And the Tony Award
for Best Musical,
Spring Awakening.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
We won eight Tonys.
-Yes!
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Yeah, you're fucked all right
And all for spite
You can kiss
Your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked
Will it mess you up?
Well, you know
They're gonna try
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Whoo!
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
-Blah, blah, blah, blah
-(LAUGHTER)
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Totally fucked!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
MICHAEL: Spring Awakening
without the Tony Awards
would have gone away.
After the Tony Awards,
just sold out,
and the audience
was going crazy.
It was so intense. (CHUCKLES)
It was so crazy.
People screaming and shouting.
LEA: We became one
of those Broadway shows
that people became
really obsessed with.
We became rock stars.
From one of Broadway's most
talked-about new musicals,
please welcome the cast
of Spring Awakening.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
("THE BITCH OF LIVING"
PLAYING)
God, I dreamed
There was an angel
Who could hear me
Through the wall
I was like, "Oh, okay.
I guess it's a hit.
I guess it's a rave."
It was just incredible.
We had these
massive stage door experiences
where we would have
just like fans lined the block.
The thing I remember the most
was the kind of thankfulness
that these kids
had for us every night.
I had people telling me like,
"I relate to Moritz,
I go through the same thing."
And me being able to say,
"Guess what? I did too."
People wanted my hair.
They wanted to sit
in the front row
so that they could get spit on
by Jonathan Groff.
I was spitting in programs,
and there was like...
people giving us dolls
and people...
giving us like portraits,
painted portraits of ourselves.
-It was crazy.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
From the hit Broadway show,
Spring Awakening...
...to the cast of the Broadway
smash hit, Spring Awakening.
ROSIE O'DONNELL:
This little boy, Jonathan.
(CHUCKLES)
I think you're a young Tom Hanks
who can sing.
Puberty, masturbation,
sadomasochism...
It's definitely a thrill.
How long have you been working
on this project?
I've been working
on Spring Awakening now
-for seven years.
-For seven years!
-ANCHOR 1: I like it a lot.
-ANCHOR 2: Can I--
-Oh, yeah. Absolutely, please.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
Spring Awakening
takeover starts...
ALL: Right now!
-Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
-Blah, blah, blah, blah
By December of the next year,
we're all in
this national GAP ad
in the middle
of fucking Times Square.
It was just like,
what is happening?
What is going on?
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-MICHAEL: It was a hit.
And I was like, "Oh, shit,
now I have to stay and do more."
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Like, the first couple of times
we had a full audience,
I just found it so disarming.
JONATHAN: Peter McManus Caf
was the place
that we used to go to
after the show and get loaded.
And I was like, "Wait a minute."
GIDEON GLICK: Spring Awakening
brought me to New York.
It opened, like, all the doors.
At the time I didn't really
understand what it was.
But looking back,
it was completely
transformative.
She's on a show
that Gideon's on now.
I look back on Spring Awakening
all these years later
with such a fondness.
It was such a formidable time
in all of our careers and lives.
Oh yeah, that was opening night.
Opening night, chipped his tooth
on the microphone.
To be an adult
and revisit this material,
it's so special.
And actually it means
so much more now
than it did then.
I had my Spring Awakening
during the show.
Like, I really learned so much
about my own body
and about my sexuality
through the entire experience.
I never really felt
self-conscious
about my body after that.
Whenever I see the show, like,
part of the thing that kills me
so much is like,
even though you're doing
that dark shit,
there's still like at the end
of the show,
this, like, hopefulness.
It ends on this, like, thing
that you have
when you're young
that we had 15 years ago
that we don't have now.
It's like when you see
seven-year-olds skiing
down a hill fearless.
Exactly, yes.
JOHN: If I got offered a part
with this arc today,
I might pass just
because I might think,
-I don't know if I can...
-LILLI: Sustain it?
...go through that every night.
You know? But at the time
I didn't-- I really didn't see
it that way.
("DON'T DO SADNESS" PLAYING)
Awful sweet
To be a little butterfly
Moritz starts flunking
out of his grade
and his dad makes it quite clear
that he will be entirely shunned
by his family
if he can't get his grades up.
Nothing going, going wild
In you, you know
You're slowing
By the riverside...
JOHN: It's a breaking point
for Moritz.
And he thinks, "I don't see
any way out of this."
Or maybe cool to be
A little summer wind...
JOHN: I've always really related
to Moritz.
I don't know if it was
undiagnosed ADD or what,
but I struggled at school.
(CHUCKLING)
And I struggle with anxiety
and depression
as much as anybody.
And in a sense, every night
was a chance for me to say,
"It does get better.
It does get easier.
You know, if you can
hang in there."
'Cause you know
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
I don't do sadness
Not even a little bit
Just don't need it in my life
I don't want any part of it
I don't do sadness
Hey, I've done my time
Looking back on it all
Man, it blows my mind
'Cause I don't do sadness
I've so been there
Don't do sadness
I just don't care
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
-Moritz Stiefel?
-MORITZ: Oh, Ilse! (CHUCKLES)
You frightened me.
Did you lose something?
Why did you frighten me?
Damn it! (CHUCKLES)
JOHN: His friend Ilse,
who has been shunned
by the community,
offers this life raft
of saying, like, "Come with me,
it's not that bad,"
like, "We could
find our way together."
("BLUE WIND"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
Spring and summer
Every other day
Blue wind gets so sad
Blowing through
The thick corn
Through the bales of hay
Through the open books
On the grass
Spring and summer
Sure, when it's autumn
Wind always wants to
Creep up and haunt you...
She was saying, "This is life.
This is just life,
this is where we are.
Some days it's hard
and some days
it's really beautiful.
This one's harder
than the other ones.
But this is just another--
It's just another day,
I promise. It'll be fine."
And he's like,
"No. I don't do the autumn.
I don't do it at all.
I'm not doing it.
I don't wanna do it."
-'Cause you know
-Spring and summer
-I don't do sadness
-Every other day
-Not even a little bit
-Blue wind gets so lost
-I don't need it in my life
-Through the thick corn
Through the bales of hay
-I don't want
any part of it
-Spring and summer
-I don't do sadness
-Every other day
-Hey, I've done my time
-Blue wind gets so lost
-Looking back on it all
Man, it blows my mind
-Blowin' through thick corn
-And the bales of hay
-I don't do sadness
-So been there
-Through the
Wandering clouds of dust
I don't do sadness...
-Spring and summer
-I just don't care
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES QUIETLY)
Good night, Ilse.
Good night?
Well, walk me, at least.
Honestly... I wish I could.
JOHN: He has this
missed connection with Ilse.
That's the final straw
for him, is that
"Ugh, I had this opportunity,
I missed it."
And he looks out
at that one last sunset.
Ten minutes ago, you could see
the entire horizon.
Now...
only the dusk.
The first few stars.
JOHN: The tragedy
of Moritz is that
had he just been shown
a little more love...
But he totally succumbs to
his fears of failing,
and he doesn't see
any other way out.
It's so dark.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
So dark.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
For John Gallagher,
to fucking commit suicide
every night,
like it's just brutal.
It's hard. It's hard
to play that role.
And do it with such grace
and strength,
and he just did it.
He did it effortlessly,
every day.
There would be a night
where I would, you know,
cock the prop gun
and put it in my mouth
and the lights would go out
and I would go off stage
and just start sobbing
and you know,
and collapse
into Danny Paul's arms,
my dresser, you know.
And just cry in the dark while,
you know,
the beginning of "Left Behind"
was happening.
And then I would hear
you start singing.
("LEFT BEHIND"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
You fold his hands
And smooth his tie
You gently lift his chin
Were you really so blind...
STEVEN: Moritz has
taken his life. His father's
standing at the grave.
And Melchior articulates
what a parent might feel
in losing a child.
Now to close his eyes
Never open them
A shadow passed
A shadow passed
Yearning...
STEVEN: No matter
how old you are,
you watch Spring Awakening
from the point of view
of the children.
And then you see the parents
and you think,
"Oh, wait, that's me."
Then you get to reflect
on your own behavior.
The talks you never had
The Saturdays you never spent
All the grown-up places
You never went
And all of the crying
You wouldn't understand
You just let him cry
Make a man out of him
I knew that we
were helping children
who were coming to see the show.
I know that there were
boys in the audience
who felt like Moritz,
or Ernst and Hanschen
in their hidden love, or...
struggling with depression,
thoughts of suicide.
JONATHAN: This material
saves lives.
Some girl wrote
John Gallagher and said,
"I didn't kill myself
because of your character
in the show."
LAUREN: Lilli and I,
we would get messages
from young women that were like,
"I've never told anyone this,
but I've been molested."
I mean, lots of letters.
I think that's kind of what
got us through it every night.
Knowing how important it was
to tell that story.
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
A shadow passed
A shadow passed
Yearning, yearning
For the fool...
LEA: But I think our hope
was to also make every parent
in the audience know
what will happen
when you do not talk
to your children
or let them be truly
who they are meant to be.
And it whistles through
The ghost
Still left behind
It whistles through...
LEA: I have a son,
and hearing "Left Behind,"
you know, I just can't even
imagine not being,
like, being there for my son
like that or that he would ever
feel that kind of pain.
(SNIFFLES)
It was-- That was very, very,
very overwhelming for me...
(INHALES) ...that storyline.
Oh
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
LEA: Moritz's storyline
was always a challenge
for all of us emotionally,
and so we had to...
have an escape outside
of playing these characters
and this intense subject matter.
We, of course, loved our show
and loved playing our characters
but, like,
the real fun we had
was offstage, together.
JULIE GROFF:
They're coming out slowly
because they were up all night.
-(CHEERS)
-JOHN: While we were
on Broadway,
Jonathan Groff's mom
picked us up in a school bus,
drove us down
to Lancaster, Pennsylvania,
where John is from,
and we had a campout.
-JULIE: We're home!
-We're home!
The whole cast came to my
family's farm in Pennsylvania.
JIM GROFF:
What's your name?
-How ya doing? Good to meet you.
-Good. How are you?
-Robby!
-JULIE: Robby!
JONATHAN: And we
slept out in tents.
Oh, my God, the farm was
the worst time of my whole life.
I'm just not meant
to sleep in a tent
with no bathroom.
I was like, "I have to just
truly make Julie Groff believe
that I'm Jonathan's girlfriend,
because if I do, she'll give me
an extra pillow and a blanket."
(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)
JOHN: We all ran outside,
totally wild.
There was like
a demolition derby car there
for some reason that we
were all driving around in.
(ALL CHEERING)
And we had a bonfire,
and we went swimming.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LEA: One night, I woke up
in the middle of the night
and I open up the tent,
and there is Gallagher
and Jonathan butt naked.
I, like, quickly was like this
to like block out their penises.
They were, like, so pale.
I always tell Gallagher
that he was like glowing
in the dark.
JOHN: She's like,
"You were translucent..."
(LAUGHING) ...is the way
that she describes
my scrawny nudity.
(CHUCKLES)
("MY JUNK"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JOHN: It was like a victory lap.
It was the end of summer,
fall was about to start.
Gideon was leaving.
We didn't really know like,
what a-- what do cast changes
mean for this thing, you know?
So, I just remember that
that was like the ultimate
kind of steam valve.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JONATHAN B. WRIGHT:
We had a lot of fun,
maybe too much fun,
camaraderie that we shared
and just the time that we had
it was a blast. (INHALES)
Ah, I look back on it
really fondly.
Well, you have to excuse me
I know it's so off
I love when you do stuff
That's rude and so wrong
I go to my room
Turn the stereo on
Shoot up some you
In the "you" of some song
I lie back just driftin'
And play out these scenes
I ride on the rush
All the hopes and the dreams
I may be neglecting the things
I should do
-We've all got our junk
-And my junk is you
Yes, yes!
CHORUS: See we still
Keep talkin' after you're gone
You're still with me
Then feels so good in my arms
They say you go blind
Stop, maybe it's true
We've got our junk, yeah
Our junk, and my junk is you
-We've all got our junk
-And my junk is you
My junk is you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
There's just like
the best memories.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-Truly. (LAUGHS)
This is Lea Michele.
-Hi!
-She plays Wendla
-in Spring Awakening.
-You're catching me
before I put my wig cap on,
which is really good.
-Which is good...
-(LAUGHS)
-...because you're beautiful.
-(LAUGHS)
You're beautiful with
or without your wig cap on.
LEA: Thanks.
We felt like just
the coolest kids
-on the block.
-(CHUCKLES) Oh, look who it is.
-Oh, look.
-This is Skylar.
Now, how do you get your hair
to curl like it does
in the show?
Why, I'll tell you, Jonathan.
Rat tail comb.
Part it perfectly in the center.
Two different kinds
of hairsprays.
JONATHAN: Having each other
was the most meaningful thing.
This actually is one
of my favorite pictures
of the cast.
JONATHAN: The success
of the show,
it never went to our heads.
JONATHAN: Over here
is a picture of Amish country
for me to remember my roots.
JOHN: We all kind of
cherished that summer.
It was really special.
And we were all so close.
Oh, look at you
with your guitar.
Here we are, just happened
to be here sitting there
waiting for some company.
So, what part of like
the pre-show process
are you at right now?
Right now,
I'm in the slacking off process,
-which is where it's, uh...
-(JONATHAN LAUGHS)
We're coming up on 7:30,
which is our half hour.
JOHN: I was one of
the older cast members.
I was the first
of the three leads
to leave the show.
I did it for a year
on Broadway
and in December of 2007
I had my final show coming up.
So, we devised a plan,
I don't remember
if it was Lea's idea,
or it was Jonathan Groff's idea.
But what we're gonna do
is we're gonna sneak
into the theater
and have a sleepover.
I can't express to you
how illegal and unheard of
it is to sleep over
at a theater.
There was gonna be no light.
We brought candles,
we brought alcohol,
we brought food.
JOHN: At the end of the night,
there's a doorman that checks
every dressing room
to make sure that they're empty.
LEA: We had to hide
under the desk
for about two hours.
We all peed our pants.
We got so scared.
And then we heard
the front door just...
and the power went...
(EXHALES) ...boom.
JOHN: We just went wild.
We ran out onto the stage.
JONATHAN: And we put out
a picnic on the stage.
We had wine.
We told our biggest secrets
and stayed up all night long.
JONATHAN: I really remember
Lea saying,
she was like, "I would give up
this... whole experience
for this connection
that we have."
I told him I would take it all
back just to know you,
just to have you in my life.
JONATHAN: For her to say
that has always stuck with me
and we've always
had each other's backs.
CHRISTINE: Wendla,
what have you done?
-Wendla!
-I... I don't know.
You're going to have a child.
A child?
-But I am not married.
-Precisely.
LEA: Getting to play Wendla
for all those years
was emotionally
and physically exhausting.
(INHALES) Why didn't you
tell me everything?
In Act One, the beating scene
was so hard.
My entire life,
I've never felt...
-What?
-...anything!
Wendla asks Melchior
to beat her.
How can you even want
a thing like that?
Please, Melchior?
LEA: She only just is getting
closer and closer
and closer to...
feeling something,
which is all she wants.
Please.
I'll teach you
to say "please." (GRUNTS)
I got beaten every day
and sometimes twice.
(CHUCKLES)
You're barely stroking me.
-How's that then?
-(GROANS)
-I really didn't enjoy it.
-How's that?
-Nothing! (GRUNTS)
-You bitch,
I'll beat the hell out of you.
And some nights
he would actually...
accidentally whip me
and I would scream.
-(GRUNTS)
-(WENDLA SCREAMS, PANTS)
LEA: I played
a character who dies
from a sketchy abortion.
-WENDLA: Mama?
-I'll be there with you
-every moment.
-Mama, don't leave me.
Mama! Mama!
I came off stage one night.
I had blood,
literal-- I had blood
from something, sweat and tears.
And I just said to Jonathan,
I said, "I can't do it anymore,
I can't do it anymore.
You know, I just,
I can't do this.
I can't be in this world
anymore." (INHALES)
And he said, "Okay."
He was like, "Let's leave."
And so, we left
the show together.
-This is years in the making.
-(SNIFFLES)
I can't believe I'm leaving
Spring Awakening.
Years of wanting it
and wanting it and wanting it.
(SNIFFLES) And now I'm
finally saying goodbye.
(SNIFFLES) Thank you...
(EXHALES) ...for...
being my family...
-(LEA CHUCKLING)
-...and for continuing
-to be my family... (LAUGHS)
-(LEA LAUGHS)
...after this is over.
Thank you.
(ALL CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Moritz...
My old friend.
JONATHAN: At the very end
of the show,
Melchior has been
kicked out of school
and his friend killed himself.
"Here rests in God,
Wendla Berg..."
No! (PANTS)
He finds out that Wendla's dead.
(SCREAMS) No!
No! (SOBS)
-("THOSE YOU'VE KNOWN"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
(SOBBING)
MORITZ: Those you've known
What?
And lost still walk
Behind you
JONATHAN: And the initial voice
of Moritz inspires him
to take the path
that Moritz took.
They linger
Till they find you
I've been a fool.
MORITZ: Without them
The world grows dark
Around you
And nothing is the same
Until you know
That they have found you
Well, you had the right idea.
I'll scatter a little earth
and thank their God.
JONATHAN: But then
he thinks of Wendla.
Those you've pained
May carry that still with them
Wendla?
JONATHAN: She didn't choose
to kill herself.
All forgiven
Still your heart says
The shadows
Bring the starlight
And everything
You've ever been
Is still there
In the dark night
-You know you've left them
Far behind
-The northern wind blows
JONATHAN: It is like the devil
and the angel on your shoulder.
By the end of the song,
he's decided that by living,
both of them will also live on.
-We're still home
-There's a way through this
We're still home
I think he learns
what it means to love someone,
what it is to be wounded...
and how to go forward.
JONATHAN: Playing Melchior
was like such a gift
because he was everything
that I, like...
(EXHALES) ...pull it together.
It was everything
that I wanted to be,
but I wasn't.
He had this, like, ability
to not let the world define him
and... and to speak his mind
and to be...
strong. (CHUCKLES, INHALES)
I still struggle with this,
obviously, with this...
and...
playing him for two years,
like, cultivated this confident,
strong, side of myself
that I didn't have
in my real life
that I was learning how to have
by playing Melchior.
(INHALES) And to come to terms
with who I was.
And a month after I left
the show,
I came out of the closet,
and I started my life.
They call me
Through all things
Night's falling
But somehow on I go
You watch me, just watch me
I'm calling
From longing
Now they'll walk on my arm
Through the distant night
And I won't let them stray
From my heart
Through the wind
Through the dark
Through the winter light
I will read all their dreams
To the stars
I'll walk now with them
-Not gone
-Not gone
-I'll call on their names
-Not gone
Jonathan said to me,
"My roommate's not my roommate,
he's my boyfriend."
And I said, "I know."
And he's like, "Okay, okay."
He didn't say the word "gay."
And I was like, "Oh, my God,
this is happening."
JONATHAN: It wasn't
a quick transition.
It took a long time
to own my identity
for the first time.
And then it felt like...
(INHALES DEEPLY)
"Oh, thank God I'm this way.
I'm so happy to be this way.
I wouldn't want to be
any other way."
Through the show
and through the opportunity
of getting to play
this character,
I had grown this strength
that I didn't have anywhere else
to put but in my own life,
and it changed my life.
You watch me
Just watch me
I'm calling
I'm calling
And one day all will know
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
I can say confidently,
I would not have survived,
not one minute, let alone
a day or three years,
of the experience
if it wasn't for all of you.
All of you collectively.
All we had was each other.
That was all we focused on.
And we didn't care
about anything else.
And it--
Because nothing else mattered.
("THE SONG OF PURPLE SUMMER"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
A summer's day
A mother sings a song
Of purple summer
Of a world beyond her dreams
And heaven waits
So close it seems
To show her child
The wonders of a world
Beyond her dreams
The Earth will wave
With corn
The day's so wide, so warm
And mares will neigh
With stallions
That they mate
Foals they've born
And all shall know
The wonder
Of Purple Summer
I'm still asked
to this day... a lot...
(CHUCKLES)
...what is a purple summer?
We all joke about, like,
what the fuck
does "purple summer" mean?
I don't know. It's about sex,
probably, you know.
(CHUCKLES, INHALES)
I wish I knew.
It might be Steven's
favorite color. I don't know.
I think they needed
a two-syllable word.
I have no idea.
Purple is a sign
of resurrection? Of rebirth?
So many of Stephen's lyrics
are very purple. (CHUCKLES)
The purple to me is like
the color of a bruise.
You see, they're carrying
the bruise of love
into the summer ahead.
And it's the sunset flowering
into a new, you know, day,
a new night, a new dawn.
And so I wait
The swallow brings
A song of what's to follow
The glory of the spring
The fences sway
The porches swing
The clouds begin to thunder
Crickets wander, murmuring
The Earth will wave
With corn
The day's so wide
So warm
And mares will neigh
With stallions
That they mate
Foals they've born
And all shall know
The wonder
I will sing
The song of purple summer
All shall know the wonder
I will sing
The song of purple summer
And all shall know
The wonders
Of purple summer
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
STEVEN: The show changed
every aspect of my life.
I learned that dreams
can come true.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Holy shit.
Michael came up to Jonathan
and I, and he was like,
"This is such hard material
and you guys are brilliant
-at executing it."
-It was the best ever.
And we were like,
"We've been waiting 15 years
for you to say that to us."
Thank you. It was just an excuse
to make out again.
MICHAEL: This reunion was not
about Spring Awakening.
This was an opportunity
to be with those kids
and see who they've become.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Thank you for everything.
-MICHAEL: Oh.
-JOHN: We were so young.
None of us really knew
what was in store for us
on a kind of personal level,
or a professional level.
And we kind of came back
and it was like,
"Wow, we've all been
on these wild journeys,
-but we're home."
-Is everybody ready to go?
-WOMAN: Yes.
-JONATHAN: We have
this bond that we always had.
It was crystallized
and clarified and rediscovered.
And we got to
meet each other as adults,
-and it was so profound.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LAUREN: The things we confront
in this show are not things
you can learn in school.
And they're important.
They're things that help
people survive, and live,
and know that they have worth.
These stories will
live on forever.
(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
(CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
ALL: (SINGING ACAPELLA)
Yeah, you're fucked all right
And all for spite
You can kiss
Your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked
Will they mess you up?
Well, you know
They're gonna try
(MUSIC BEGINS)
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Totally fucked!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
("THE WORD OF YOUR BODY"
PLAYING)
WENDLA AND MELCHIOR:
Just too unreal, all this
WENDLA: Watching his world
Slip through my fist
MELCHIOR: Playing with her
In your fantasies
BOTH: Haven't you heard
The word, how I want you?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound
Oh, I'm gonna bruise you
Oh, you're gonna
Be my bruise
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
("DON'T DO SADNESS"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
-FAN: Thank you, darling.
-LEA MICHELE: Of course,
there you go.
-FAN: Thank you.
-LEA: We are reuniting
the cast of Spring Awakening
for the first time in 15 years
for a one-night benefit concert,
benefitting
the incredible Actors' Fund.
JONATHAN GROFF:
Getting the chance
to come back together
after 15 years
and do this concert,
and touch again
the material
that changed our lives,
-is gonna be insane.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LAUREN PRITCHARD:
I don't know that I ever thought
we would ever do this again.
There was never fuckin'
anything like this
that's ever happened
on a Broadway stage.
LEA: Even now,
trying to explain
the show to my husband.
So, there are these kids
in the 1800s.
But we pull out microphones,
and then we sing
like rock songs?
-(VOCALIZING)
-JONATHAN: The show is
so hard to describe.
1891 Germany, rock music,
there's children in it.
They're having sex on stage.
(CHUCKLES)
LEA: He's like,
"So, is it like Rent?"
I'm like, it's not like Rent.
(CHUCKLES)
This character is jerking
this one off,
this one's abused,
these two have a gay scene,
abortion, the sex, the suicide.
And we were all so young.
STEVEN SATER: I could
never imagine
that it would be on Broadway.
But it touched a nerve.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
-JONATHAN: It was a hit.
We weren't just doing
a show anymore,
we were doing the show.
There were kids sleeping
on the streets to come
to this show and feel seen.
Like, they're not alone.
And this thing that they did
15 years ago still means
so much to people.
LEA: We became of those
shows where everyone
really blew up.
We got movies
and television shows.
LILLI COOPER:
I've been in four Broadway shows
and I got nominated
for a Tony Award,
and it started
with Spring Awakening.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-My next guest you know
from Mindhunter,
Frozen and Hamilton.
He's now in
The Matrix Resurrections.
LEA: Fifteen years later,
we're doing
this reunion concert.
"And now we get to experience
this show again. I'm excited
-and a little scared. Woo-hoo."
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
LEA: And everyone keeps saying,
"Oh, it's just gonna
come right back, it's just gonna
come right back."
And then we got to the theater
and I was like,
-"Oh, my God, am I ready?"
-Whoo!
STAGE CREW: Ladies
and gentlemen,
this is your places call,
-places for the top of the show.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
LILLI: We were
pinching ourselves.
-We're doing it again.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
LILLI: The second we
all walked out,
it felt like
we were The Beatles.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
CONTINUES)
JONATHAN: The plan
was we walk in and sit down,
but we were so connected
to each other that we knew
to stand there and enjoy
this wave of enthusiasm.
And everyone is like,
"Holy fucking shit."
Like,
"This is happening right now?"
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(JONATHAN BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
(CARS HONKING)
(BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
This picture... (CHUCKLES)
...I texted to everyone
'cause this really
sums up our experience.
That was happening.
The whole group of us,
the cast, the band
haven't been in a room
together for 15 years.
Today is our day one,
we're gonna do,
like, music rehearsal.
I haven't, like,
rehearsed anything yet.
(VOCALIZES)
LEA: I haven't performed
in such a long time,
or sang or acted in forever,
and your vocal cords,
they're a muscle.
So you want to stretch out
your muscle and warm it up
before you just make it go,
you know,
a thousand miles per hour.
(VOCALIZES)
(VOCALIZES)
Is it there? It's there.
Is it there? Ah!
The hardest thing I think
in doing it is gonna be...
(INHALES, BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
...not crying while singing.
("ALL THAT'S KNOWN"
PLAYING ON PHONE)
-On I go
-(EXHALES)
(SINGING ALONG)
To wonder and to learning
Fuck. (INHALES,
BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
LEA: Okay. On to the next thing.
(EXHALES) Thank you.
I don't normally do this
with my bike helmet, guys.
(CHUCKLES)
It's going to be a tearful,
probably like six days,
and then
we're gonna do the show.
LEA: Thank you so much.
-LEA: Hey.
-JONATHAN: Oh, hi.
LEA: They're gonna think
we planned it.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
JONATHAN: Oh, my God.
We've met,
you may not remember me.
It was like 15 years ago.
We all have this primal thread
going through all of us.
(CHUCKLES)
LEA: I just want to be
in this world
with these people
who have always
made me feel so safe.
-Whoo!
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JOHN GALLAGHER JR.:
It's just an immense gift
to get a chance
to revisit the piece,
to revisit my friends and family
'cause it was such a community
that we created.
-STEVEN: Okay.
-LEA: Oh, my God.
JONATHAN: The cast of
Spring Awakening
is on a text chain.
And this year, Lauren wrote me
and said,
"Jonathan, I had a dream
that we were all together
doing this show.
And I think we should do
an anniversary concert."
LAUREN: And I woke up
the next morning and I was like,
"We have to do this. I want
to do this one more time."
JONATHAN: It was COVID,
so the schedules were open.
We decided we're gonna do
a one-night benefit concert
for The Actor's Fund.
We asked everyone in the cast,
-they immediately said yes.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
We did it! We did it! We did it!
(CHUCKLES) We did it!
It's kind of insane
and miraculous.
ALL: Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim!
Whoo!
-We've got work to do!
-ALL: Yeah!
JOHN: I'm really nervous.
I haven't sung these songs in,
you know, over a decade.
How are they going to feel?
How is it gonna fit?
Is it--
Can I still hit the high notes?
JOHN:
(ALL LAUGH)
I don't have to do--
I don't have to do anything.
LEA: We have three
rehearsal days,
and then we're gonna
perform it onstage.
So, I'm scared.
I told Jonathan
that I hadn't been
that nervous or anxious
since the day my son was born.
(GUITAR PLAYING
"MAMA WHO BORE ME"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK)
LEA: It was a tsunami
of emotions.
Mama who bore me
Mama who gave me
No way to handle things
Who made me so sad
Mama the weeping
Mama the angels...
JONATHAN: Watching her
sing that song,
I was like, "Oh, my God."
I saw this 19-year-old girl,
memory. And I just lost my mind.
Some pray that one day
Christ will come a-callin'
And they light a candle
And hope that it glows
And some
Just lie there crying
For him to come
And find them
But when he comes
They don't know
How to go
Mama who bore me
Mama who gave me
No way to handle things
Who made me so bad
Mama the weeping
Mama the angels
No sleep in heaven
Or Bethlehem
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)
JONATHAN: She has
one of those voices
that just, like, slays me.
In 2006,
she would sing that song
and always sound perfect.
Like, fuck her.
She's one of my dearest friends.
We had this experience
in Spring Awakening
that changed our lives.
Mama who bore me
Mama who gave me
Mama the angels
Who made me so sad
-Mama who bore me
-Mama who bore me
-Mama who gave me...
-Mama who gave me...
STEVEN: This book,
this is Frank Wedekind's
Fruhlings Erwachen.
This is the original version
of Spring Awakening
that I bought in a
German bookstore...
(INHALES) ...in 1999.
I'm the kind of guy who reads
random old plays. (LAUGHS)
It's this 19th century story
about the deafness of adults
to what's going on in the hearts
of the young children.
That longing and desire
and frustration of young people.
It's as if the entire world
were mesmerized
by penis and vagina.
The 19th century characters,
they're Lutheran.
They're growing up
in a Lutheran culture
when history and science
are under attack.
We are hardly
here today to conjecture.
These kids are all oppressed
by their parents,
clergy, and teachers.
To God, to our parents,
to our teachers.
We can never render
sufficient gratitude.
STEVEN: Our main character
Melchior is on a hero's journey.
Questioning everything,
trying to break free.
Are you then suggesting
there is no further room
for critical thought
or interpretation?
Why indeed,
then do we have... (GASPS)
STEVEN: He falls in love
with Wendla,
who aches with desire,
but knows nothing about sex.
I'm ashamed to even ask.
But then who can I ask
but you? (INHALES)
Wendla, child! You cannot
imagine that I could--
You can't imagine that
I still believe in the stork.
STEVEN: Moritz,
Melchior's best friend,
is an anxious teen
flailing in school
because he's agonized
by the thought of puberty.
He's really struggling with it.
I can't stop thinking about it.
This part, here.
STEVEN: They're struggling
with sexual desire and puberty,
and these children
have to learn to
mentor themselves,
because they have
no adults they can rely on.
It's your terrible chastity
that's driving me to this!
Hanschen!
That's enough in there!
STEVEN: And the adult refusal
to heed those
children's frustrations
results in tragic consequences.
-You failed. Haven't you?
-MORITZ: I only meant to--
-I see it in your face.
-But Father--
No sleep in heaven
Or Bethlehem
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
In 1999, in the wake
of the shootings at Columbine...
(INHALES) ...I felt
we're living this.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
-STEVEN: That was
what gave impetus
to doing this show.
CBS NEWS REPORTER:
Fifteen people died
in the carnage yesterday,
28 are injured.
Everyone around me got shot.
STEVEN: My determination
for the show was to touch
the troubled heart of youth
around the world.
And it had always seemed to me
that this play was
like an opera in waiting.
BRIAN C. JOHNSTON: Living
It's the bitch
-Yeah.
-Of living
Bitch, just the bitch...
Yeah, bitch...
DUNCAN SHEIK: In 1999,
I met Steven Sater
because we are both
practicing Buddhists.
He said, "Read this play.
I think we should adapt it
as a musical."
I'm a singer, songwriter
who makes records.
In 1996,
I released my first album.
It did pretty well.
So, my first reaction
was just like, "Plays are cool,
plays with music, all good,
but like musicals?" That was
definitely not my cup of tea
at that moment.
(SINGING QUIETLY)
It's the bitch of living
It's the bitch of living
STEVEN: Duncan said,
"If I were to do anything
in musical theater, I want
the music to be relevant
to the culture at large."
And I thought...
(INHALES) ...the place
that these unheard yearnings
of young people... (INHALES)
...have been expressed
and relieved for generations
has been rock music.
Looks so nasty
In those khakis...
DUNCAN: So I read the play.
I thought it was awesome.
You know, so racy
and so sort of punk rock.
And Steven just started
faxing me lyrics.
-(DUNCAN CHUCKLING)
-All right, let's start it
again, from the top.
MICHAEL MAYER: In 1999,
Steven Sater called
out of the blue,
and he said he had this idea.
Wait, Michael, do you want
us all to stand up?
Okay, so it's-- But the thing
that really... (IMITATES MUSIC)
And then we add him.
I had some success
and failure back-to-back
early on in my Broadway career,
and Broadway was never something
that I had dreamed of.
I was doing my first film,
but I loved Spring Awakening.
It's catnip for a director.
Then we add Johnny.
And then on that, everyone's up.
It was unfinished.
There was never
a definitive version of it.
DUNCAN: We had
this initial conception
that maybe we should set it in,
like, 1950s America.
And then really quickly,
I realized as much as I don't
like musical theater,
I really don't like
'50s rock and roll.
That's like not my thing either.
And Michael was the one
who was like, "Oh, yeah,
let's just make the music
completely contemporary."
STEVEN: But I've never wanted
to write the kind of lyrics
that forward plot.
This is part of how...
(INHALES) ...our show
is a different kind of musical.
I wanted them to take us
into what cannot be said
and what can only be felt.
MICHAEL MAYER: And then I had
an image of a boy
in his 19th century
German tight little jacket
and breeches, and little shoes
and stockings,
pulling a microphone out
and becoming in that moment,
any kid, any time
dealing with this universal
teenage angst.
("THE BITCH OF LIVING"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
God, I dreamed
There was an angel
Who could hear me
Through the wall
As I cried out like in Latin
This is so not life at all
Help me out
Out of this nightmare
Then I heard her silver call
She said
"Just give it time, kid
I come to one and all"
She said, "Give me
That hand please...
The sound of John Gallagher
singing the beginning
of "Bitch of Living"
is Spring Awakening.
It's like... (EXHALES)
Oh, we'll work
That silver magic
Then we'll aim it
At the wall
She said, "Love may
Make you blind, kid"
But I wouldn't mind at all
-It's the bitch of living
-Bitch, just the bitch
-Nothing but your hand
-Just the bitch, yeah
Just the bitch of living
As someone you can't stand
See, each night
It's, like, fantastic
Tossing, turning without rest
'Cause my day's at the piano
With my teacher
And her breasts
And the music's
Like the one thing
I can even get at all
And those breasts
I mean, God, please
Just let those apples fall
It's the bitch of living
-Bitch
-Ah, ah, ah
With nothing going on
Nothing going on
Just the bitch of living
Asking, "What went wrong?"
Do they think we want this?
Oh, who knows...
So, we started working.
We had a handful of songs
and a handful of scenes,
and a handful
of lovely young actors.
LEA: I did the first workshop
of Spring Awakening
when I was 14 years old.
Even at 14, I was like,
"What is this?
I have to do this."
STEVEN: For the years
we worked on it...
(CHUCKLES) ...we were
rejected everywhere,
and everyone thought
we were out of our minds.
We're sending a script
with this classical diction
and German names
that no one could pronounce
and a rock CD.
MICHAEL: And then
I invited Tom Hulce,
with whom
I was doing my first film,
to come and see a workshop.
As soon as he said 1890s
in Germany,
and then the guitar plays
and the microphones come out,
I thought, well,
that's a genius theatrical idea.
I thought, "Oh, my God,
this is kind of crazy
and amazing."
And six months later,
we got a concert
at Lincoln Center
in the American Songbook series.
This was it. We invited
every artistic director,
every commercial producer
we knew,
and we got them all there.
DUNCAN: We had spent three years
working on it at that point,
and it was sort of dead
in the water.
It really was
a last-ditch effort
to sort of save the project
from nonexistence.
See them showering
At gym class
Bobby Mahler, he's the best
Looks so nasty
In those khakis
God, my whole life's
Like some test
-Then there's
Marianna Wheelan
-(CHORUS VOCALIZING)
As if she'd return my call
It's like, just kiss
Some ass, man
Then you can screw 'em all
-(ALL VOCALIZING)
-(MUSIC BUILDS)
-It's the bitch of living
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
CHORUS:
It's the bitch of living
-And living in your head
-In your head
-It's the bitch
-Of living
And sensing God is dead
-It's the bitch of living
-You watch me, just watch me
And trying to get ahead
MELCHIOR:
I'm calling and one day
-It's the bitch of living
-And just getting out of bed
-All will know
-It's the bitch of living
Living, living
-And getting what you get
-All will know
-Just the bitch of living
-And knowing this is it
God, is this it?
This can't be it
Oh, God, what a bitch
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
The Lincoln Center concert
was a complete dog of a night.
TOM HULCE: It occurred
to Michael and I, who were,
you know, standing towards
the back, that something
was very wrong in the room
and, like, it was clear
that there wasn't
a connection happening,
and we realized
that nobody could find
who was singing
because by the time
they found the person,
somebody else was singing.
There was not a laugh.
No one really knew
what the hell was going on.
TOM: It became clear
that we were possibly
at a disastrous experience...
(LAUGHS)
...that we had put together.
And then about 25 minutes later,
a 15-year-old girl sang
"The Dark I Know Well."
Suddenly all the focus
just went... (EXHALES)
("THE DARK I KNOW WELL"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING )
Martha, time for bed now.
There is a part I can't tell
About the dark I know well
Martha, darling, put on
that new nightgown,
the pretty ruffled one
your father bought you.
She has this secret
that she can never share.
Time for bed now, child
Mom just smiles
That smile...
It's about having a wall up
to be able to survive.
Just like she never saw me
So I leave
Wanting just to hide
Knowing deep inside
You are coming to me
LILLI: Her father
is molesting her,
and her mother
is accepting that.
You say all you want
Is just a kiss goodnight
Then you hold me
And you whisper
"Child, the Lord won't mind"
It's just you and me
Child, you're a beauty
God, it's good, the lovin'
Ain't it good tonight?
You ain't seen nothing yet
Gonna treat you right
It's just you and me
Child, you're a beauty
LILLI: Martha sings,
then Ilse sings.
And it was
a terrifying realization
that there are countless women
and girls going through this.
I don't scream
Though I know it's wrong
I just play along
I lie there and breathe
Lie there and breathe
I want to be strong
I want the world to find out
That you're dreaming on me
Me and my beauty
-Me and my beauty
-Me and my beauty
You say all you want
Is just a kiss goodnight
Then you hold me
And you whisper
Child, the Lord won't mind
It's just you and me...
LAUREN: That is so many
fuckin' people's reality.
I had that happen to me
when I was a child
by a family member.
And I was very, very young.
I was four years old
till I was eight years old.
And singing about it
is fucking weird. (CHUCKLES)
Child, you're a beauty
There's a part I can't tell
About the dark I know well
There's a part I can't tell
About the dark I know well
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
After Lincoln Center,
we simultaneously
had this sense of like, "Yes,
we're going to go to Broadway,
and this is gonna be
the best thing ever."
And then like, uh, like
"What are we doing?"
And I thought,
"Oh well, you know what?
We did our best, right?"
Except, Neil Pepe from
the Atlantic Theater Company
and Ira Pittelman,
who's an independent producer,
were there that night.
The two of them liked it.
And so out of what was frankly
a fairly catastrophic evening
for me and Tom,
came an opportunity.
-At that point,
we were all systems go.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
TOM: Once we knew the Atlantic
was gonna give us a home,
we cast these young people
from all across
the United States.
MICHAEL: Lea came in.
She was 14.
She had three Broadway shows
to her credit.
She had this astonishing voice,
and we fell instantly
in love with her.
But it wasn't like a done deal.
So she worked her ass off.
I was so concerned
with doing good
and making Michael happy.
It's like all I wanted.
TOM: Jonathan, he had been on
a tour of The Sound of Music.
Jonathan Groff was,
to my mind, a chorus boy.
JONATHAN: I came into
the audition and the callbacks
as the wild card Melchior.
I was the last one on the list.
When we first met Lauren,
she took off her shoes
and stood barefoot
and opened her mouth and, like,
blew us away.
JOHN: I went and auditioned.
I was really nervous.
I didn't have
any formal vocal training.
I got a final callback,
and then I walked out
of my final callback
because I had such
tremendous stage fright.
But I turned back around
and I went back up,
and then I got the part.
LILLI: I was 15
when I was cast in the show.
I was in school during the day,
and then doing homework
in between school
and the show at night.
MICHAEL: These kids, they were
in high school, you know,
Remi and Gerard were tutored
while we were doing this.
For a lot of them, it was their
first real professional gig.
They were amazing and brilliant.
And then we did rehearsals,
and then we opened
at the Atlantic.
LEA: The Atlantic Theater
was this hidden gem.
It was a church.
And the eeriness of that
and just those old walls
and, um, the old brick.
There's just something
about that space
that I think blessed us, truly.
("TOUCH ME"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
-MELCHIOR: Touch me
-CHORUS: All silent
-MELCHIOR: All silent
-CHORUS: Baby, just tell me
MELCHIOR: Tell me please...
JOHN: That was really
where I think
we all really became friends,
and we became a family.
MELCHIOR: Consume my wine...
It was a cauldron of hormones
and excitement
and dreams of success.
It was like the coolest thing.
I was with these cool kids.
JONATHAN: We were going
to dinners together.
We were doing this show.
It was like this summer camp
of all summer camp experiences.
MICHAEL: There was a big...
I don't even know
what you'd call it,
mattress or pile of cushions
or something.
And they were just all
piled on top of each other
all the time.
-CHORUS: Touch me
-GEORG: Oh, oh
-CHORUS: Just try it
-GEORG: Just, just try it
-CHORUS: Now that's it
-GEORG: Now there that's it
Oh God, that's heaven
Touch me
-I'll love your light
-Oh, I'll love you right
We'll wander down
Where the sins cry
-Touch me
-Oh
Just like that
Now lower down
Where the sins cry
-Love me
-Oh, love me, yeah
-Just for a bit
-Ooh
We'll wander down
Where the winds sigh
Where the winds sigh...
LEA: It was very intense.
If you were able to see
Spring Awakening
at the Atlantic Theater,
you got to see something
very special.
-Of course they will, yeah.
-(ALL APPLAUD)
You could also back up, Lea.
You could back up,
back up, back up,
Where the winds sigh
Where the winds sigh
Where the winds sigh
And you could even sit
if you want.
-And then, Melchi--
-LEA: For the applause.
Yes, sit for the applause
and then enter.
LEA: When I first met Jonathan,
I felt like I had to take him
-under my wing.
-(CHUCKLES)
He was this country mouse,
and I was this city mouse.
Jonathan came from the farm
in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
He had gel so hard in his hair,
it was cement.
This is my favorite spot.
My private place for thinking.
-I'm sorry. (CHUCKLES)
-No, no, please.
JONATHAN: I was so excited
working with Lea.
So...
(SMACKS LIPS)
How have you been doing-- fuck.
-(LAUGHS)
-(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)
JONATHAN:
Lea had done Spring Awakening
since she was 14 years old,
in workshops.
And her work was astounding.
Can't you sit for a moment?
When you lean back
against this oak and stare
up at the clouds...
...you start to think
hypnotic things.
-I have to get back before 5:00.
-But when you lie here,
such a strange, wonderful peace
settles over you.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
-LEA: I wanted to help him.
I thought, "We'll become friends
so that we can, you know,
make our characters believable,
and then that'll be that."
("THE WORD OF YOUR BODY"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
Don't feel a thing, you wish
Grasping at pearls
With my fingertips
But then I fell in love with him
in more ways than one.
Holding her hand
Like some little tease
Haven't you heard
The word of my wanting?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound
Oh, I'm gonna bruise you...
JONATHAN: Lea and I
were so young.
We were still figuring out
who we were.
Oh, you're gonna be
My bruise...
We were playing these parts,
but we were working shit out
with each other.
Just too unreal, all this
Watching his world
Slip through my fist
Playing with her
In your fantasies
Haven't you heard the word
How I want you?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound
Oh, I'm gonna bruise you
Oh, you're gonna be
My bruise
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
STEVEN: That is about
the bruise of love.
It's the anticipation of a wound
in feeling desire, love.
These young people,
in being drawn to one another,
what they sense is not just,
"Oh, I wanna be with you,"
it's, "I'm gonna be
wounded by you.
I'm gonna carry
the wound of this desire,
carrying the bruise of love
-the rest of my life."
-Please. Please, Wendla.
(LEA HUMMING)
MICHAEL: I think there's
too much kissing.
I think that you've got
nowhere to go then.
JONATHAN: Yeah.
Well, I think when
we're really doing it,
it will be okay.
Lea and I were given
this material
where we had to fall in love.
-I could do like this?
-I say, "Melchior."
JONATHAN: Michael Mayer,
here he is with these kids,
and he has to direct...
a like four-minute,
incredibly detailed
and choreographed...
sex scene with children.
-Melchior.
-MICHAEL: That's it.
She can see it.
You don't have to--
-No, wait. No.
-Right, exactly.
-I can't. We're not supposed to.
-What?
But the first thing
I felt was...
"They're gonna know I'm gay.
Fuck, I've never had sex
with a girl, I'm in the closet.
I'm gonna just pretend like
I know what I'm doing."
And then we kiss again.
And then I find the neck.
I wanted the choreography
to tell me what to do
and give me the moves
and allow me to express myself,
and thank God for Michael Mayer.
-Don't.
-MICHAEL: Yes, but maybe take it
away from your body.
-Don't.
-MICHAEL: Yes. Exactly.
Please?
MICHAEL: I was aware
he was gay,
but that's his own
personal life,
and he'll deal with it
when it's time for him
to deal with it.
And if he wants to talk to me,
I'll be there for it.
JONATHAN: And then
I'll come in here.
LEA: Mm-hmm.
And then I can come into here
and you stop me.
Stop him again. Wait.
-Melchi, no, it's just, it's--
-What? Sinful?
JONATHAN: Coming from
a religious background
surrounded by the Amish,
I felt... (INHALES SHARPLY)
...like, I felt...
ashamed of who I was.
(BOTH MOAN)
Melchi, no!
-I can't, we're not supposed to.
-What?
I also, I guess,
was afraid that if...
people knew who I was,
they wouldn't find
what I was doing believable.
Not supposed to what?
Love?
I don't know.
Is there such a thing?
JONATHAN: But Lea and I,
we were grasping
onto each other.
We were really in love.
I hear your heart.
("I BELIEVE"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JONATHAN: I feel you
breathing everywhere.
The rain, the hay.
LEA: I was so in love with him.
Finally, I cornered him
at a party,
and I said to him,
"Why don't you love me?
Just love me.
Why can't you love me?
Like date me, love me?"
And I just saw this look
in his eyes, and in that moment,
-I knew.
-Please, Wendla.
CHORUS: I believe
I believe, I believe
Oh, I believe
-It's just that it's--
-What?
-Sinful?
-No.
CHORUS: All will be forgiven
I believe...
-I don't know.
-Then why?
CHORUS: I believe, I believe
Because it's good?
Because it makes us
feel something?
CHORUS:
All will be forgiven
I believe, I believe,
I believe
Oh, I believe
There is love in heaven
I believe, I believe
I believe
-Don't be scared.
-CHORUS: Oh, I believe...
LEA: I realized in that moment,
this is deep.
And, um...
and I need to,
like, protect this.
This is intense. (SNIFFLES)
And I never asked him
ever again about his sexuality,
and it was sort of this--
I think he felt safe with me
because he knew that I knew,
and we could be best friends.
And our relationship
just grew and grew
to the point where
we would do the show
and then we would
go home together.
-There is love in heaven
-All will be forgiven
-There is love in heaven
-All will be forgiven
-Wait!
-It's just me.
There is love in heaven...
Just me.
There is love in heaven
-I believe
-All will be forgiven
There is love in heaven
Now there!
-All will be forgiven
-I believe...
-Now that's...
-Yes?
(MOANS) Yes.
There is love in heaven
-Peace and joy be with them
-All will be forgiven
-Harmony and wisdom
-All will be forgiven
Peace and joy be with them
Harmony and wisdom
-WENDLA: Melchior! (GASPS)
-CHORUS: Oh, I believe
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
LEA: That's why Jonathan
and I became so close.
We were so intertwined.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
JONATHAN: We made out
so hard in this play.
We would have like sweat,
and snot was coming
out of my nostril,
and saliva,
and tongues and mouths.
Lea's like, eat-- her like mouth
is on top of my mouth.
LEA: We were so close.
At one point, I literally showed
him my whole vagina.
(LAUGHS) I can confirm that.
(CHUCKLES) He was like,
"I've never seen
a woman's vagina before.
Would you show me?"
And I was like, "Sure."
In particular,
I was interested in like
the-- the, like, geography
of the different parts,
because I always thought
that the clitoris was like...
(LAUGHS)
...like right
above the vagina hole.
And I took a desk lamp.
And she took
a fucking desk lamp.
And showed him.
That's how close we are.
I didn't realize
it was so far north.
And now I know. (LAUGHS)
Does that explain it?
(LAUGHS)
I love that she told you that,
oh my God.
But I have never seen
Jonathan naked.
I've never seen his penis.
JONATHAN: That summer
at the Atlantic Theater
was also very pressure filled.
I have a vivid memory
being in tech,
on the hayloft with Lea,
we're like half naked
on the swing,
and Ira Pittelman and Tom Hulce
are having a fight.
And Ira Pittelman is saying,
"We cannot do this on a stage.
We're gonna, like,
get arrested."
And Tom Hulce saying,
"This is what the show is.
We can't not do this.
This is what
Spring Awakening is about."
TOM: People called up and said,
"You cannot do this material."
Everybody was just freaked out.
MICHAEL: Spring Awakening
was gonna be my last play.
I was done with the theater.
Done with New York.
I was gonna move to L.A.
So I was gonna do it my way
no matter what,
and I didn't give a fuck
what anyone said.
TOM: We did
a huge amount of work.
A song went in, a song went out.
It was like the audience
was awakening to the show
at the same time the actors
were discovering
what it was they were doing.
STEVEN: People were
really moved.
They were standing up.
They might have understood
what was going on.
(LAUGHING) But they were
touched by this show, you know.
("AND THEN THERE WERE NONE"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JONATHAN: The first time
the New York Times came,
Michael put like sage
all over the theater.
Michael went back
to the dressing room
and just said to the cast...
"The future of this
is in your hands."
And that night, something
happened in that theater
that I had never
experienced before.
And it's like the entire
building levitated
and demanded to be
in a bigger place.
In The New York Times,
Charles Isherwood gave us
a fantastic review.
People started coming.
There were lines
around the block to get in.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Well, fine
Not like it's even
Worth the time
But still, you know
You wanted more
Sorry, it won't change
Been there before
JOHN: I was like,
"Wow, this is exciting."
The lines getting longer
for tickets every night,
and our run keeps extending,
and we're getting
standing ovations now
at the end of Act Two.
That didn't happen before.
The thing that sucks
Okay for me
A thousand bucks
I'm like scot-free
And I mean, please
That's all I need
Get real, okay
By now, you know the score
Then all the fancy people
started coming down.
David Byrne wants to come
to the show.
Lou Reed and
Laurie Anderson are there.
Keanu Reeves is like,
you know, hanging out.
And that was
a very fun summer. (CHUCKLES)
You wanna laugh
It's too absurd
You start to ask
Can't hear a word
You wanna crash and burn
Right, tell me more
CHRISTINE ESTABROOK:
Still, Herr Stiefel,
one thing in your letter
disturbed me.
Your... What shall we call it?
Veiled threat,
that should escape
not be possible,
you would take your own life?
TOM: The controversial nature
of this story
meant that we never thought
about Broadway.
We-- Like, how could you?
STEVEN: Moving the show
to Broadway
seemed to make no sense.
We had no advance sales.
We were selling out
a 200-seat theater,
but how were we gonna fill
a thousand seats?
We were campaigning for that.
"We," being, like...
(LAUGHING) Me.
And Duncan, probably.
JOHN: They called us in
early one day.
And that certainly was like
some alarms were going off,
like, "Wait a minute, what?
Why does Tom and Ira
want to talk?"
You know, it's like,
"Are we getting in trouble
for something?"
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Well, fine
Not like it's even
Worth the time
But still, you know
You wanted more...
And they said, "We just want
to tell you that, you know,
we're gonna be moving
to Broadway in the fall."
You wanna laugh
It's too absurd
You start to ask
Can't hear a word
-You're gonna crash and burn
-Right, tell me more
You start to cave
You start to cry
You try to run
Nowhere to hide
You wanna crumble up
And close that door
There were tears. People were
jumping for joy and shouting.
It was totally, totally surreal.
Just fuck it, right?
Enough, that's it
You'll still go on
Well, for a bit
Another day of utter shit
And then there were none...
My lifetime dream had come true.
A thing... (SNIFFLES)
...I never thought
could come true was coming true.
And then there were none
And then there were none
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
LEA: We were all really afraid
that the grandness
of the Eugene O'Neill
wouldn't be able to hold
that precious...
that it would go away,
that energy.
MICHAEL: I was really
freaked out about the concept
of moving it to Broadway.
I thought
that was a mistake, actually.
I never thought of this
as a Broadway show,
quite frankly,
but we all went into it
with every digit crossed,
and it really didn't start well.
("TOTALLY FUCKED"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JONATHAN: I was
in my dressing room
at the Eugene O'Neill.
And I said,
"Michael, I've never had
a dressing room before,
to myself.
This is like-- I don't know how
I'm going to decorate it."
And he was like, "Honey,
I wouldn't decorate
this dressing room.
I don't think we're gonna
be here for very long.
Don't get too excited."
And on Broadway,
we couldn't sell
half of the house.
There's a moment you know
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
You're fucked
Not an inch more room
To self-destruct
DUNCAN: It was
an 1100 seat house,
and when we were in previews,
we were playing
to 300 people a night.
I mean, Tom and Ira
were losing money big time.
It was a disaster.
Man, you're fucked
If you just freeze up
Can't do that thing...
The stage manager said,
"Hey, everyone, so...
you're gonna see a lot
of purple velvet out there.
The seats were purple velvet.
Just remember that
when you see the empty house.
Yeah, you're fucked
All right...
We really thought we were gonna
close right after we opened.
You can kiss
Your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked
Will they mess you up?
Well, you know
They're gonna try
Blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah
We spent months
holding each other
and hoping that
it was gonna last.
We opened in December.
March came around,
April came around.
We started losing an audience,
and it was a lot
of purple velvet.
-Wanna bundle up
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
With some big-ass lie
Long enough for them
To watch us quit
Long enough for you
To get out of it
MICHAEL:
We didn't do real business
until the Tony Award
nominations came out.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-JONATHAN: I remember
really understanding
the purpose of the Tonys
is to sell your show.
And so, the night before
the Tony nominations came out,
Lea and I during the show,
in our costumes,
in the second act,
went to the church,
the Actors' Chapel
across the street.
LEA: And I was like, you know,
"Please, God,
please help us tomorrow
with the Tony nominations,"
and blah, blah, blah.
And the next thing you know,
I look over
and Jonathan has his wallet,
and he takes out like
a 50-dollar bill, and he places
in the donation box.
And I was like,
"I didn't bring any money.
You're giving money
to the church?"
And she still is so pissed
that like I put more money in
and that's what got me
a Tony nomination.
Sure enough,
he got nominated and I didn't.
Jonathan Groff,
Spring Awakening.
I leapt out of my skin.
I couldn't believe that our show
got so many nominations.
Spring Awakening
got 11 nominations.
JOHN: The next thing I knew
was just my phone vibrating,
just text message
after text message.
-The Tonys were so crazy.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
And the Tony Award
goes to John Gallagher Jr.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
It was an amazing night.
And it was an out of body night.
We kept being back on stage
again and again.
-Spring Awakening,
Steven Sater.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Spring Awakening,
music by Duncan Sheik,
lyrics Steven Sater!
-Spring Awakening.
-Spring Awakening.
ANGELA LANSBURY:
And the Tony Award
for Best Musical,
Spring Awakening.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
We won eight Tonys.
-Yes!
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Yeah, you're fucked all right
And all for spite
You can kiss
Your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked
Will it mess you up?
Well, you know
They're gonna try
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Whoo!
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
-Blah, blah, blah, blah
-(LAUGHTER)
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Totally fucked!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
MICHAEL: Spring Awakening
without the Tony Awards
would have gone away.
After the Tony Awards,
just sold out,
and the audience
was going crazy.
It was so intense. (CHUCKLES)
It was so crazy.
People screaming and shouting.
LEA: We became one
of those Broadway shows
that people became
really obsessed with.
We became rock stars.
From one of Broadway's most
talked-about new musicals,
please welcome the cast
of Spring Awakening.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
("THE BITCH OF LIVING"
PLAYING)
God, I dreamed
There was an angel
Who could hear me
Through the wall
I was like, "Oh, okay.
I guess it's a hit.
I guess it's a rave."
It was just incredible.
We had these
massive stage door experiences
where we would have
just like fans lined the block.
The thing I remember the most
was the kind of thankfulness
that these kids
had for us every night.
I had people telling me like,
"I relate to Moritz,
I go through the same thing."
And me being able to say,
"Guess what? I did too."
People wanted my hair.
They wanted to sit
in the front row
so that they could get spit on
by Jonathan Groff.
I was spitting in programs,
and there was like...
people giving us dolls
and people...
giving us like portraits,
painted portraits of ourselves.
-It was crazy.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
From the hit Broadway show,
Spring Awakening...
...to the cast of the Broadway
smash hit, Spring Awakening.
ROSIE O'DONNELL:
This little boy, Jonathan.
(CHUCKLES)
I think you're a young Tom Hanks
who can sing.
Puberty, masturbation,
sadomasochism...
It's definitely a thrill.
How long have you been working
on this project?
I've been working
on Spring Awakening now
-for seven years.
-For seven years!
-ANCHOR 1: I like it a lot.
-ANCHOR 2: Can I--
-Oh, yeah. Absolutely, please.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
Spring Awakening
takeover starts...
ALL: Right now!
-Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
-Blah, blah, blah, blah
By December of the next year,
we're all in
this national GAP ad
in the middle
of fucking Times Square.
It was just like,
what is happening?
What is going on?
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-MICHAEL: It was a hit.
And I was like, "Oh, shit,
now I have to stay and do more."
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Like, the first couple of times
we had a full audience,
I just found it so disarming.
JONATHAN: Peter McManus Caf
was the place
that we used to go to
after the show and get loaded.
And I was like, "Wait a minute."
GIDEON GLICK: Spring Awakening
brought me to New York.
It opened, like, all the doors.
At the time I didn't really
understand what it was.
But looking back,
it was completely
transformative.
She's on a show
that Gideon's on now.
I look back on Spring Awakening
all these years later
with such a fondness.
It was such a formidable time
in all of our careers and lives.
Oh yeah, that was opening night.
Opening night, chipped his tooth
on the microphone.
To be an adult
and revisit this material,
it's so special.
And actually it means
so much more now
than it did then.
I had my Spring Awakening
during the show.
Like, I really learned so much
about my own body
and about my sexuality
through the entire experience.
I never really felt
self-conscious
about my body after that.
Whenever I see the show, like,
part of the thing that kills me
so much is like,
even though you're doing
that dark shit,
there's still like at the end
of the show,
this, like, hopefulness.
It ends on this, like, thing
that you have
when you're young
that we had 15 years ago
that we don't have now.
It's like when you see
seven-year-olds skiing
down a hill fearless.
Exactly, yes.
JOHN: If I got offered a part
with this arc today,
I might pass just
because I might think,
-I don't know if I can...
-LILLI: Sustain it?
...go through that every night.
You know? But at the time
I didn't-- I really didn't see
it that way.
("DON'T DO SADNESS" PLAYING)
Awful sweet
To be a little butterfly
Moritz starts flunking
out of his grade
and his dad makes it quite clear
that he will be entirely shunned
by his family
if he can't get his grades up.
Nothing going, going wild
In you, you know
You're slowing
By the riverside...
JOHN: It's a breaking point
for Moritz.
And he thinks, "I don't see
any way out of this."
Or maybe cool to be
A little summer wind...
JOHN: I've always really related
to Moritz.
I don't know if it was
undiagnosed ADD or what,
but I struggled at school.
(CHUCKLING)
And I struggle with anxiety
and depression
as much as anybody.
And in a sense, every night
was a chance for me to say,
"It does get better.
It does get easier.
You know, if you can
hang in there."
'Cause you know
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
I don't do sadness
Not even a little bit
Just don't need it in my life
I don't want any part of it
I don't do sadness
Hey, I've done my time
Looking back on it all
Man, it blows my mind
'Cause I don't do sadness
I've so been there
Don't do sadness
I just don't care
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
-Moritz Stiefel?
-MORITZ: Oh, Ilse! (CHUCKLES)
You frightened me.
Did you lose something?
Why did you frighten me?
Damn it! (CHUCKLES)
JOHN: His friend Ilse,
who has been shunned
by the community,
offers this life raft
of saying, like, "Come with me,
it's not that bad,"
like, "We could
find our way together."
("BLUE WIND"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
Spring and summer
Every other day
Blue wind gets so sad
Blowing through
The thick corn
Through the bales of hay
Through the open books
On the grass
Spring and summer
Sure, when it's autumn
Wind always wants to
Creep up and haunt you...
She was saying, "This is life.
This is just life,
this is where we are.
Some days it's hard
and some days
it's really beautiful.
This one's harder
than the other ones.
But this is just another--
It's just another day,
I promise. It'll be fine."
And he's like,
"No. I don't do the autumn.
I don't do it at all.
I'm not doing it.
I don't wanna do it."
-'Cause you know
-Spring and summer
-I don't do sadness
-Every other day
-Not even a little bit
-Blue wind gets so lost
-I don't need it in my life
-Through the thick corn
Through the bales of hay
-I don't want
any part of it
-Spring and summer
-I don't do sadness
-Every other day
-Hey, I've done my time
-Blue wind gets so lost
-Looking back on it all
Man, it blows my mind
-Blowin' through thick corn
-And the bales of hay
-I don't do sadness
-So been there
-Through the
Wandering clouds of dust
I don't do sadness...
-Spring and summer
-I just don't care
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES QUIETLY)
Good night, Ilse.
Good night?
Well, walk me, at least.
Honestly... I wish I could.
JOHN: He has this
missed connection with Ilse.
That's the final straw
for him, is that
"Ugh, I had this opportunity,
I missed it."
And he looks out
at that one last sunset.
Ten minutes ago, you could see
the entire horizon.
Now...
only the dusk.
The first few stars.
JOHN: The tragedy
of Moritz is that
had he just been shown
a little more love...
But he totally succumbs to
his fears of failing,
and he doesn't see
any other way out.
It's so dark.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
So dark.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
For John Gallagher,
to fucking commit suicide
every night,
like it's just brutal.
It's hard. It's hard
to play that role.
And do it with such grace
and strength,
and he just did it.
He did it effortlessly,
every day.
There would be a night
where I would, you know,
cock the prop gun
and put it in my mouth
and the lights would go out
and I would go off stage
and just start sobbing
and you know,
and collapse
into Danny Paul's arms,
my dresser, you know.
And just cry in the dark while,
you know,
the beginning of "Left Behind"
was happening.
And then I would hear
you start singing.
("LEFT BEHIND"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
You fold his hands
And smooth his tie
You gently lift his chin
Were you really so blind...
STEVEN: Moritz has
taken his life. His father's
standing at the grave.
And Melchior articulates
what a parent might feel
in losing a child.
Now to close his eyes
Never open them
A shadow passed
A shadow passed
Yearning...
STEVEN: No matter
how old you are,
you watch Spring Awakening
from the point of view
of the children.
And then you see the parents
and you think,
"Oh, wait, that's me."
Then you get to reflect
on your own behavior.
The talks you never had
The Saturdays you never spent
All the grown-up places
You never went
And all of the crying
You wouldn't understand
You just let him cry
Make a man out of him
I knew that we
were helping children
who were coming to see the show.
I know that there were
boys in the audience
who felt like Moritz,
or Ernst and Hanschen
in their hidden love, or...
struggling with depression,
thoughts of suicide.
JONATHAN: This material
saves lives.
Some girl wrote
John Gallagher and said,
"I didn't kill myself
because of your character
in the show."
LAUREN: Lilli and I,
we would get messages
from young women that were like,
"I've never told anyone this,
but I've been molested."
I mean, lots of letters.
I think that's kind of what
got us through it every night.
Knowing how important it was
to tell that story.
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
A shadow passed
A shadow passed
Yearning, yearning
For the fool...
LEA: But I think our hope
was to also make every parent
in the audience know
what will happen
when you do not talk
to your children
or let them be truly
who they are meant to be.
And it whistles through
The ghost
Still left behind
It whistles through...
LEA: I have a son,
and hearing "Left Behind,"
you know, I just can't even
imagine not being,
like, being there for my son
like that or that he would ever
feel that kind of pain.
(SNIFFLES)
It was-- That was very, very,
very overwhelming for me...
(INHALES) ...that storyline.
Oh
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
LEA: Moritz's storyline
was always a challenge
for all of us emotionally,
and so we had to...
have an escape outside
of playing these characters
and this intense subject matter.
We, of course, loved our show
and loved playing our characters
but, like,
the real fun we had
was offstage, together.
JULIE GROFF:
They're coming out slowly
because they were up all night.
-(CHEERS)
-JOHN: While we were
on Broadway,
Jonathan Groff's mom
picked us up in a school bus,
drove us down
to Lancaster, Pennsylvania,
where John is from,
and we had a campout.
-JULIE: We're home!
-We're home!
The whole cast came to my
family's farm in Pennsylvania.
JIM GROFF:
What's your name?
-How ya doing? Good to meet you.
-Good. How are you?
-Robby!
-JULIE: Robby!
JONATHAN: And we
slept out in tents.
Oh, my God, the farm was
the worst time of my whole life.
I'm just not meant
to sleep in a tent
with no bathroom.
I was like, "I have to just
truly make Julie Groff believe
that I'm Jonathan's girlfriend,
because if I do, she'll give me
an extra pillow and a blanket."
(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)
JOHN: We all ran outside,
totally wild.
There was like
a demolition derby car there
for some reason that we
were all driving around in.
(ALL CHEERING)
And we had a bonfire,
and we went swimming.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LEA: One night, I woke up
in the middle of the night
and I open up the tent,
and there is Gallagher
and Jonathan butt naked.
I, like, quickly was like this
to like block out their penises.
They were, like, so pale.
I always tell Gallagher
that he was like glowing
in the dark.
JOHN: She's like,
"You were translucent..."
(LAUGHING) ...is the way
that she describes
my scrawny nudity.
(CHUCKLES)
("MY JUNK"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
JOHN: It was like a victory lap.
It was the end of summer,
fall was about to start.
Gideon was leaving.
We didn't really know like,
what a-- what do cast changes
mean for this thing, you know?
So, I just remember that
that was like the ultimate
kind of steam valve.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JONATHAN B. WRIGHT:
We had a lot of fun,
maybe too much fun,
camaraderie that we shared
and just the time that we had
it was a blast. (INHALES)
Ah, I look back on it
really fondly.
Well, you have to excuse me
I know it's so off
I love when you do stuff
That's rude and so wrong
I go to my room
Turn the stereo on
Shoot up some you
In the "you" of some song
I lie back just driftin'
And play out these scenes
I ride on the rush
All the hopes and the dreams
I may be neglecting the things
I should do
-We've all got our junk
-And my junk is you
Yes, yes!
CHORUS: See we still
Keep talkin' after you're gone
You're still with me
Then feels so good in my arms
They say you go blind
Stop, maybe it's true
We've got our junk, yeah
Our junk, and my junk is you
-We've all got our junk
-And my junk is you
My junk is you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
There's just like
the best memories.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-Truly. (LAUGHS)
This is Lea Michele.
-Hi!
-She plays Wendla
-in Spring Awakening.
-You're catching me
before I put my wig cap on,
which is really good.
-Which is good...
-(LAUGHS)
-...because you're beautiful.
-(LAUGHS)
You're beautiful with
or without your wig cap on.
LEA: Thanks.
We felt like just
the coolest kids
-on the block.
-(CHUCKLES) Oh, look who it is.
-Oh, look.
-This is Skylar.
Now, how do you get your hair
to curl like it does
in the show?
Why, I'll tell you, Jonathan.
Rat tail comb.
Part it perfectly in the center.
Two different kinds
of hairsprays.
JONATHAN: Having each other
was the most meaningful thing.
This actually is one
of my favorite pictures
of the cast.
JONATHAN: The success
of the show,
it never went to our heads.
JONATHAN: Over here
is a picture of Amish country
for me to remember my roots.
JOHN: We all kind of
cherished that summer.
It was really special.
And we were all so close.
Oh, look at you
with your guitar.
Here we are, just happened
to be here sitting there
waiting for some company.
So, what part of like
the pre-show process
are you at right now?
Right now,
I'm in the slacking off process,
-which is where it's, uh...
-(JONATHAN LAUGHS)
We're coming up on 7:30,
which is our half hour.
JOHN: I was one of
the older cast members.
I was the first
of the three leads
to leave the show.
I did it for a year
on Broadway
and in December of 2007
I had my final show coming up.
So, we devised a plan,
I don't remember
if it was Lea's idea,
or it was Jonathan Groff's idea.
But what we're gonna do
is we're gonna sneak
into the theater
and have a sleepover.
I can't express to you
how illegal and unheard of
it is to sleep over
at a theater.
There was gonna be no light.
We brought candles,
we brought alcohol,
we brought food.
JOHN: At the end of the night,
there's a doorman that checks
every dressing room
to make sure that they're empty.
LEA: We had to hide
under the desk
for about two hours.
We all peed our pants.
We got so scared.
And then we heard
the front door just...
and the power went...
(EXHALES) ...boom.
JOHN: We just went wild.
We ran out onto the stage.
JONATHAN: And we put out
a picnic on the stage.
We had wine.
We told our biggest secrets
and stayed up all night long.
JONATHAN: I really remember
Lea saying,
she was like, "I would give up
this... whole experience
for this connection
that we have."
I told him I would take it all
back just to know you,
just to have you in my life.
JONATHAN: For her to say
that has always stuck with me
and we've always
had each other's backs.
CHRISTINE: Wendla,
what have you done?
-Wendla!
-I... I don't know.
You're going to have a child.
A child?
-But I am not married.
-Precisely.
LEA: Getting to play Wendla
for all those years
was emotionally
and physically exhausting.
(INHALES) Why didn't you
tell me everything?
In Act One, the beating scene
was so hard.
My entire life,
I've never felt...
-What?
-...anything!
Wendla asks Melchior
to beat her.
How can you even want
a thing like that?
Please, Melchior?
LEA: She only just is getting
closer and closer
and closer to...
feeling something,
which is all she wants.
Please.
I'll teach you
to say "please." (GRUNTS)
I got beaten every day
and sometimes twice.
(CHUCKLES)
You're barely stroking me.
-How's that then?
-(GROANS)
-I really didn't enjoy it.
-How's that?
-Nothing! (GRUNTS)
-You bitch,
I'll beat the hell out of you.
And some nights
he would actually...
accidentally whip me
and I would scream.
-(GRUNTS)
-(WENDLA SCREAMS, PANTS)
LEA: I played
a character who dies
from a sketchy abortion.
-WENDLA: Mama?
-I'll be there with you
-every moment.
-Mama, don't leave me.
Mama! Mama!
I came off stage one night.
I had blood,
literal-- I had blood
from something, sweat and tears.
And I just said to Jonathan,
I said, "I can't do it anymore,
I can't do it anymore.
You know, I just,
I can't do this.
I can't be in this world
anymore." (INHALES)
And he said, "Okay."
He was like, "Let's leave."
And so, we left
the show together.
-This is years in the making.
-(SNIFFLES)
I can't believe I'm leaving
Spring Awakening.
Years of wanting it
and wanting it and wanting it.
(SNIFFLES) And now I'm
finally saying goodbye.
(SNIFFLES) Thank you...
(EXHALES) ...for...
being my family...
-(LEA CHUCKLING)
-...and for continuing
-to be my family... (LAUGHS)
-(LEA LAUGHS)
...after this is over.
Thank you.
(ALL CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Moritz...
My old friend.
JONATHAN: At the very end
of the show,
Melchior has been
kicked out of school
and his friend killed himself.
"Here rests in God,
Wendla Berg..."
No! (PANTS)
He finds out that Wendla's dead.
(SCREAMS) No!
No! (SOBS)
-("THOSE YOU'VE KNOWN"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
(SOBBING)
MORITZ: Those you've known
What?
And lost still walk
Behind you
JONATHAN: And the initial voice
of Moritz inspires him
to take the path
that Moritz took.
They linger
Till they find you
I've been a fool.
MORITZ: Without them
The world grows dark
Around you
And nothing is the same
Until you know
That they have found you
Well, you had the right idea.
I'll scatter a little earth
and thank their God.
JONATHAN: But then
he thinks of Wendla.
Those you've pained
May carry that still with them
Wendla?
JONATHAN: She didn't choose
to kill herself.
All forgiven
Still your heart says
The shadows
Bring the starlight
And everything
You've ever been
Is still there
In the dark night
-You know you've left them
Far behind
-The northern wind blows
JONATHAN: It is like the devil
and the angel on your shoulder.
By the end of the song,
he's decided that by living,
both of them will also live on.
-We're still home
-There's a way through this
We're still home
I think he learns
what it means to love someone,
what it is to be wounded...
and how to go forward.
JONATHAN: Playing Melchior
was like such a gift
because he was everything
that I, like...
(EXHALES) ...pull it together.
It was everything
that I wanted to be,
but I wasn't.
He had this, like, ability
to not let the world define him
and... and to speak his mind
and to be...
strong. (CHUCKLES, INHALES)
I still struggle with this,
obviously, with this...
and...
playing him for two years,
like, cultivated this confident,
strong, side of myself
that I didn't have
in my real life
that I was learning how to have
by playing Melchior.
(INHALES) And to come to terms
with who I was.
And a month after I left
the show,
I came out of the closet,
and I started my life.
They call me
Through all things
Night's falling
But somehow on I go
You watch me, just watch me
I'm calling
From longing
Now they'll walk on my arm
Through the distant night
And I won't let them stray
From my heart
Through the wind
Through the dark
Through the winter light
I will read all their dreams
To the stars
I'll walk now with them
-Not gone
-Not gone
-I'll call on their names
-Not gone
Jonathan said to me,
"My roommate's not my roommate,
he's my boyfriend."
And I said, "I know."
And he's like, "Okay, okay."
He didn't say the word "gay."
And I was like, "Oh, my God,
this is happening."
JONATHAN: It wasn't
a quick transition.
It took a long time
to own my identity
for the first time.
And then it felt like...
(INHALES DEEPLY)
"Oh, thank God I'm this way.
I'm so happy to be this way.
I wouldn't want to be
any other way."
Through the show
and through the opportunity
of getting to play
this character,
I had grown this strength
that I didn't have anywhere else
to put but in my own life,
and it changed my life.
You watch me
Just watch me
I'm calling
I'm calling
And one day all will know
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
I can say confidently,
I would not have survived,
not one minute, let alone
a day or three years,
of the experience
if it wasn't for all of you.
All of you collectively.
All we had was each other.
That was all we focused on.
And we didn't care
about anything else.
And it--
Because nothing else mattered.
("THE SONG OF PURPLE SUMMER"
BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING)
A summer's day
A mother sings a song
Of purple summer
Of a world beyond her dreams
And heaven waits
So close it seems
To show her child
The wonders of a world
Beyond her dreams
The Earth will wave
With corn
The day's so wide, so warm
And mares will neigh
With stallions
That they mate
Foals they've born
And all shall know
The wonder
Of Purple Summer
I'm still asked
to this day... a lot...
(CHUCKLES)
...what is a purple summer?
We all joke about, like,
what the fuck
does "purple summer" mean?
I don't know. It's about sex,
probably, you know.
(CHUCKLES, INHALES)
I wish I knew.
It might be Steven's
favorite color. I don't know.
I think they needed
a two-syllable word.
I have no idea.
Purple is a sign
of resurrection? Of rebirth?
So many of Stephen's lyrics
are very purple. (CHUCKLES)
The purple to me is like
the color of a bruise.
You see, they're carrying
the bruise of love
into the summer ahead.
And it's the sunset flowering
into a new, you know, day,
a new night, a new dawn.
And so I wait
The swallow brings
A song of what's to follow
The glory of the spring
The fences sway
The porches swing
The clouds begin to thunder
Crickets wander, murmuring
The Earth will wave
With corn
The day's so wide
So warm
And mares will neigh
With stallions
That they mate
Foals they've born
And all shall know
The wonder
I will sing
The song of purple summer
All shall know the wonder
I will sing
The song of purple summer
And all shall know
The wonders
Of purple summer
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
STEVEN: The show changed
every aspect of my life.
I learned that dreams
can come true.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Holy shit.
Michael came up to Jonathan
and I, and he was like,
"This is such hard material
and you guys are brilliant
-at executing it."
-It was the best ever.
And we were like,
"We've been waiting 15 years
for you to say that to us."
Thank you. It was just an excuse
to make out again.
MICHAEL: This reunion was not
about Spring Awakening.
This was an opportunity
to be with those kids
and see who they've become.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Thank you for everything.
-MICHAEL: Oh.
-JOHN: We were so young.
None of us really knew
what was in store for us
on a kind of personal level,
or a professional level.
And we kind of came back
and it was like,
"Wow, we've all been
on these wild journeys,
-but we're home."
-Is everybody ready to go?
-WOMAN: Yes.
-JONATHAN: We have
this bond that we always had.
It was crystallized
and clarified and rediscovered.
And we got to
meet each other as adults,
-and it was so profound.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LAUREN: The things we confront
in this show are not things
you can learn in school.
And they're important.
They're things that help
people survive, and live,
and know that they have worth.
These stories will
live on forever.
(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
(CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
ALL: (SINGING ACAPELLA)
Yeah, you're fucked all right
And all for spite
You can kiss
Your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked
Will they mess you up?
Well, you know
They're gonna try
(MUSIC BEGINS)
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah
Totally fucked!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
("THE WORD OF YOUR BODY"
PLAYING)
WENDLA AND MELCHIOR:
Just too unreal, all this
WENDLA: Watching his world
Slip through my fist
MELCHIOR: Playing with her
In your fantasies
BOTH: Haven't you heard
The word, how I want you?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound
Oh, I'm gonna bruise you
Oh, you're gonna
Be my bruise
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)