Stabby Chic (2026) Movie Script
1
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
NARRATOR: Somewhere in a realm
that exists parallel to Earth--
[ROARS]
NARRATOR: --between
heaven and hell,
exists a being that rules
over all the garbage, and all
the trash cans, and
all the dumpsters,
all the other places
that waste-like place.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
NARRATOR: This being is
known with universal fear.
Its name?
Trashula.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[ROCK MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[ROCK MUSIC]
LESTER: The following
tale you're about to see
is one that might be just too
fantastical to be believed.
It involves a killer dumpster,
killer trash, blood, gore,
and a Rumpelstiltskin
figure named Ard Buckets.
What you're about to witness
is the erstwhile story
of a man who unwittingly
found himself
entering a universe of
garbage few knew exists.
So sit back and enjoy this story
that some say is 100% true.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
ELLEN (ON PHONE): Hey,
James, this is Ellen.
Your last payment
didn't come through.
That's OK, though.
Can you just tack it
on to the next one?
I know that's coming due soon.
I really don't want you to get
hit with any more penalties.
So how are things?
Crazy not being
married anymore, huh?
That reminds me, the lump sum,
you were supposed to pay was
$30,000.
To date, you've only managed
to pay $25,000 of that.
I really don't want
to be a stickler here,
but that is what the judge
said that you owe me.
All right, you don't
need to call me back.
I know you're busy.
Just please take care
of that financial stuff
so we can move past this.
[SIGHS] This is bad.
This is really, really bad.
STEPHEN (ON PHONE): Hello,
James, it's Stephen.
I just spoke with
Ellen's attorney.
We went back and
forth on everything.
I made sure all of your
concerns were known.
I also made it
clear that we were
gonna fight them tooth
and nail on everything,
which is exactly what I did
for the last 10 minutes.
So it looks like Ellen's gonna
get everything she wants.
They made a few
concessions in some areas.
But overall, she's
gonna get everything.
So I'm sorry things
didn't go more our way.
I'll have Marie
from my office call
you to set up a payment plan.
Talk soon, and be
good to yourself.
It can always be worse, right?
OK, bubba.
[SIGHS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
What is that guy doing?
Thief.
I gotta get this
place cleaned up.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[SHOUTING]
[GROANING]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SCREAMING]
JAMES: Oh, my gosh!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Listen, I don't think
you guys really are
comprehending what I'm saying.
I just saw a man get beheaded!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SCREAMS]
His head was cut off!
You think it was an owl?
OK, that's what it was.
An owl beheaded somebody.
Yeah, that's how it works.
That's what owls are known for.
Not for being on
trees saying, hoo.
Would you listen to me and take
me seriously for one minute?
Can I at least
give you my address
so someone can come
out and see this?
Why would I give you my address?
Because I just told you.
No, a man was beheaded outside.
There's no body.
It's just the head.
And I don't even
know if that's there.
Could you at least come down
and launch an investigation?
Look, I'm a taxpayer.
I know what my services
are available to me,
and this is certainly
one of them.
When somebody calls to tell you
that they've been-- someone's
been decapitated, that
might be something
you want to come
out and investigate.
Does that make sense?
As that, I see it this way, as
you should see it the same way.
That I am your
boss, technically.
And if you-- it's not an owl.
Would you quit
saying it's an owl?
I'm the one who
pays your salary.
Not technically
comes out of my--
no, but my taxpayer dollars do.
You're arguing with me
with a decapitation.
Do you realize that you're
doing that right now?
This is your best thinking,
is to argue with me
about somebody who
was decapitated.
So I know what I saw.
I saw somebody get decapitated.
Now, would you please
send someone down
for an investigation?
Because to be honest-- hello?
Hello?
Everything in my life,
everything in my life, you know?
Everything in my life.
Always something.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
In what seems to be
the ultimate disconnect
from reality, a man named James
Lomie, called the Poohbell
Police, saying that he
witnessed a dumpster decapitate
another human being.
After insisting to the police
that he, in fact, witnessed
the dumpster brandish a blade
and slice off a man's head,
the police promptly placed a
wellness check on Mr. Lomie.
After talking with
him for an hour,
the officer said that,
while not a prank,
Lomie appears to have too
many things wrong with him
for the officers to offer
any meaningful help.
They suggested he, quote, "Make
some friends, get out more,
and see a dentist," end quote.
Next up in sports, it's a
dumpster fire out there, folks.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
James, listen to me, please.
I know, I know that
this is a tough time.
Divorce is absolutely
devastating.
You know your mother
and I went through this.
Your grandfather and
grandmother went through this.
This will tear you apart.
It is unbelievably tough
for everybody involved.
Every day seems to be so tough.
You wake up, and you've got
this heavy weight of divorce
on your back.
But you know what?
You will get through it.
It will be tough.
Every day will be a
little bit better.
You see some light through
the end of the tunnel.
I'm saying this now, it
probably is going in one ear
and out the other.
But trust me, I've run that way.
I've been that way.
I've taken that road.
You will get through this.
I know that you're
looking at me.
I know you've got
big academic degrees.
I know you're a professor.
You don't believe me.
But you're not that smart
when it comes to divorce.
I know divorce.
You don't.
And I'll tell you, if you
don't change your ways,
if you don't get out of this
funk that you're in day in
and day out, your whole
life is gonna be destroyed.
Your whole life will be a funk.
And you don't want that, James.
You don't want that.
Get out of this funk.
Life will be better.
Turn the light back on.
I can tell, the way
you've been acting,
your life is in the
dump, is in a dump.
It's in a dumpster.
It's been thrown away.
But we can resurrect that.
JAMES: It's-- I understand
what you're saying.
And what you believe that
I'm going through, part of it
might be right.
But I don't think it's all
that bad as what you're saying.
It-- I have a life, sort of.
It's not the kind of
thing that-- like,
that I can just
come out of and just
be this person that
everybody expects me to be.
I've had
accomplishments, I think.
I've done good things.
I'm a good person.
I don't see what the
problem really is.
BOONE: James, you're not
living in the real world.
You don't know what
you're talking about.
You're trying to cover up the
hurt, the mess, that you've
created in your life
with this divorce.
You don't know what
you're talking about.
You have to listen.
As I've said before, your
life is in the dumper.
It's in the dumpster
out in the back.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SNORING]
[MUMBLES]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Ah!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
No.
No.
Ah!
No, no.
No.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Ah!
No.
[SNORES] No.
No.
Garbage dumpster.
No.
[SCREAMS]
[SNORES] No.
No.
No.
Stop it.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Stop.
[SIGHS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[MUMBLING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SNORES] Oh.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
What now?
Ah!
Oh, no.
No.
Ah!
No more.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Oh, oh.
[SNORES]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Ah!
[GASPS]
[GROANS]
[PANTING]
[SIREN BLARING FAINTLY]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
JAMES (VOICEOVER): Oh, Lord.
Oh, Lord.
Oh, for the love of God.
This dumpster is tied
somehow to an ancient tribe.
It was ruled by an
evil spirit called--
Trashula.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
NARRATOR: It was a
being of lightning.
It decimated anything
in its way and wouldn't
stop until it created
untold carnage on the world.
It was Trashula.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
JAMES (VOICEOVER): Oh, Lord.
It can take on many forms.
So what I'm looking at here is
it means anything can be alive.
It can possess
inanimate objects.
It can make them sentient.
Does that mean the food in
your stomach could be alive?
Well, I guess you would
have to dumpster dive.
I dumpster dived once.
I didn't like it.
Didn't care for it.
Oh, wow.
This is bad.
This is very, very bad.
I'm scared!
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
This is not good.
What is in that dumpster?
JAMES: I want to show you
some of this stuff, and it's--
I know what you're
gonna say, Dad.
This is evidence
of this dumpster.
This evidence here
is gonna show you
that this dumpster is possessed.
There's something going
on with this dumpster.
It's not the kind
of thing where it's
like, oh, the trash man just
comes and takes out-- no,
there's not like, somebody
left something in there.
This is a possessed dumpster.
It brings inanimate objects
to life, this dumpster does.
I mean, look at
this evidence here.
I saw this dumpster-- look it.
I saw this dumpster
kill someone.
Dad, I'm not kidding.
It's something that
people need to look into.
This isn't-- this isn't a joke.
James, I didn't
believe, I don't believe,
how this divorce has
warped your brain.
For you to believe that
a dumpster in the back
is possessed, you are
sicker than I thought.
James, to think that a dumpster
at your apartment is possessed,
the sickness goes deeper.
I thought divorce would
warp you a little bit.
But to have you believe that
the dumpster in your apartment
is possessed and
is killing people,
you are sicker than I thought.
There's evidence here that's
showing that something's going
on, and no one's believing me.
BOONE: It's in your head.
It's not in the dumpster
near your apartment.
It's in your head.
I believe that.
I know what I'm
talking about, and I need
people to take me seriously.
And why you don't
take me seriously?
James, I have a solution.
Get your head out of the
dumpster in your apartment
and get dating.
You need to get out.
Get out, meet people, meet
girls, go to some dating sites,
go to a church social, but
get out of your apartment.
Get out of the dumpster
that's in your head,
and meet people,
and get out there.
It's warping your mind.
James, it's in your head.
You need to leave your
dumpster and your apartment
behind, open the door,
get out into the world,
start meeting people.
The divorce is done, is over.
Get meeting people.
You need to start healing your
brain from this stupid, stupid--
James, you're supposed to
be an intelligent professor.
For you to believe that the
dumpster in your apartment
is haunted, I've met some
dumb professors in my life.
I've had some dumb
professors in my life.
This might be the dumbest.
You might be the
dumbest professor
ever because you're believing
this stupid, stupid thinking
about a possessed dumpster
in your apartment.
I learned about this
being, and this being
is called Trashula.
Your mind is completely
gone for you to believe that.
If you don't stop
this, your life
forever will be in the dumper.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
James Lomie was escorted out
of a Poohbell police station
when he became
aggressive and loud,
regarding claims of a
murderous garbage dumpster.
Even though Mr. Lomie had
already spoken to police,
he insisted on talking
with the Chief of Police
in order to discuss
his findings.
BABY: [CRIES]
When not granted an audience,
he became loud and aggressive,
and was removed from
the police station,
but vowed to keep his
investigation going.
[SIREN BLARING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
JAMES: [SIGHS]
Donuts always make
me feel better.
I'm gonna go take
a look at that.
[BEEPING]
[WHIRRING]
[BEEPING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANS]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
No.
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GROANS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Oh!
What are you doing?
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
Wow, this is a big dumpster.
I don't believe this.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
Got attacked with trash bags?
What's that?
Oh.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[WHIRRING]
Whoa.
How big is this trash can?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[WHIRRING]
Whoa.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
A golden grabber?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
ARD: [GROWLING]
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
ARD: [GROWLING]
JAMES: Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
ARD: What?
JAMES: Wake up.
Hey, wake up.
ARD: What's going on?
JAMES: Come on!
ARD: What?
Who is it?
Oh.
JAMES: Here, let me help you.
ARD: Oh, God.
Oh, here, here.
ARD: Help me up, young man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah of course.
Oh.
Hey.
Well, you're a
sight for sore eyes.
I'm gonna say the same thing.
It's good to see you.
Well, it's good
to see you, too.
What's your name?
My name's Ard Buckets.
Ard Buckets.
Well, nice to meet you, Ard.
And who are you, my young man?
My name's James Gump.
James Gump.
It is great to meet you.
It's great to see you.
ARD: Oh, I haven't
seen anyone in--
I can't remember how long.
JAMES: Well, I've been walking
around here a long time.
Look at this.
I found this golden grabber.
What do you use it for?
Well, you use it for--
for grabbing stuff.
Oh, but it's golden.
It's golden.
Is it special?
JAMES: I would think so.
Oh.
JAMES: It looks special.
Ard, how long have
you been in here?
ARD: Well, as I think about it,
from the rooster to the crow.
Yeah.
And as the crow flies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Down the road.
Yeah.
And if you look on a map.
And if you take all your bushels
and put them in a basket.
Yeah.
And if you count your
chickens before they hatch.
It's been a long time.
Now, how did you get
inside the dumpster?
So I walked by the dumpster.
I'm looking in it.
And I put my hand
right on the dumpster.
And boom, I'm here.
Well, that's exactly
what happened to me.
I saw a dumpster.
And as I got closer, I
just touched the side,
and I was inside.
JAMES: And that must have
been a long time ago.
As I remember, as the donkey
honks and the horse neighs.
Yeah.
It's been a long time.
It sounds like it.
That's a-- a donkey
honk and a horse neighs,
that sounds like a long time.
Did you just get here?
Yeah, I mean,
not too long ago.
You've probably missed
out on a lot of stuff.
Oh, maybe.
They got this new
thing called cell phones.
What you do is you
carry them with you.
I got one too.
You got one.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That's amazing.
It's checking my
heart rate right now.
JAMES: Oh, well, yeah,
you've got a good one there.
Oh.
Well, you definitely missed
this other thing called AI?
Oh, no, I got AI too.
See, the app right there?
I was doing prompts
just the other day,
and it was reading me
stories I'd heard about.
JAMES: Right.
OK.
See, I got this
thing right here.
You got that app.
It does a picture
of me every day.
Look, I got no
hair and no beard.
Look at that.
That looks great.
That's my favorite.
You're a handsome man.
Thank you.
You know, you did miss
out on the last election.
Let me tell you, that
President that we got.
Oh.
Oh, I'll stop you there.
OK.
I know exactly
who you're talking.
[LAUGHTER]
Yee, yee, yee, yee,
yee, yoo, yeah, yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh.
Oh.
You know what?
I'm gonna say this early
on in our relationship,
but I like you.
I think I agree.
I like you too.
You know what we
should do, you and I?
What's that?
Let's team up.
Let's figure this place out.
What do you say?
Hey, there's room for two.
Let's do it, my friend.
Yeah.
ARD: There we go.
Ard and James
gonna rule the world.
ARD: It's got a ring to it.
I like it.
JAMES: I like it, too.
The President.
[LAUGHTER]
ARD: Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Watch your step here, now.
All right, all right.
Well, it's good to
have a friend now.
ARD: We're gonna
make a great team.
We're gonna make a great team.
Yeah, it's nice to have
somebody in the same thing.
Yeah, this is gonna be fun.
Lost in this world together,
but we're finding our way.
We are finding our way.
And this place, this is amazing.
This is a dumpster.
Something peculiar
about this place.
Yeah.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
JAMES: Do you like pizza?
ARD: What?
What's that.
JAMES: You know, pizza.
ARD: I don't know what that is.
Is that food?
JAMES: Yeah, it's bread,
and cheese, and dough, and--
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Oh!
Oh!
JAMES: Oh.
[GROANING] Oh, God.
[GROANING]
JAMES: Ah!
Oh.
God!
What are you trying to do?
[GROANS]
Let us live, please.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
Oh, son of a gun.
Oh, God.
Sapsucker.
[GROANING]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Ah.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
You all right, Ard?
Oh.
Are you OK?
My friend.
Oh, yeah.
You saved my life.
Wow, it was crazy.
You all right?
Did it get you?
I think you--
I think you were just in time.
Oh.
ARD: I owe you one of those--
what'd you call it?
It's the bread and the sauce.
Pizza.
[BOOM]
[WHIRRING]
[BOOM]
[BOOM]
What just happened?
I don't know.
Where are we?
ARD: I-- I don't think I've
seen this place before.
JAMES: Well, you're the walker.
You should see everything.
You haven't seen this?
ARD: No, it's new to me.
Oh.
There's a lot going on here.
How big is this dumpster?
I can tell you
this, it's not small.
So what do we do now?
Boy, I think what we
need to do, we gotta walk.
Pick a direction.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
Well, this is crazy.
This is a dumpster.
It's gotta be the
biggest one in the world.
JAMES: Easily the
biggest one in the world.
But how-- how did they do this?
I don't know.
And there's even airplanes.
Years and years ago,
I was a pilot myself.
You were?
ARD: I flew a plane
just like that.
Oh, it's like the
size of 10 dumpsters.
I was in enemy
territory, and I crash
landed into some trees
just like these ones.
I walked, and walked,
and walked, and walked,
and walked until I found a lake.
JAMES: A lake.
And there were-- there
were people having a picnic.
Yeah.
ARD: And they were having their
annual bellyflop competition.
JAMES: Oh, yeah, that's fun.
ARD: And I couldn't resist.
JAMES: Yeah.
I had to partake.
I came in third place.
Third place?
Yeah, the gold, I
couldn't reach it.
Just the bronze.
Those were glory days.
What am I talking about?
We're-- we're in this
enormous dumpster.
Yeah.
It's a world we-- we
cannot seem to grasp at all.
I have a suggestion.
JAMES: Yeah?
I've got one
thought in my mind.
I think we should walk.
JAMES: OK.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
But I-- I have done
extensive studying.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
And I studied this creature.
He's called Trashula.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Trashula?
Yeah.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
JAMES: Trashula.
He's kind of like the guy here,
maybe created this whole place.
He can turn things
into a dumpster--
[BANG]
--and make them come to life.
He was the leader of a
big tribe of dumpsters.
[BANG]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
NARRATOR" Vlad the Impaler,
Hannibal Alexander the Great,
Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun.
None of them compare to the
ruthless, insatiable killing
nature of the Trash Demon of
Darkness, the Butcher of Basura,
Trashula!
[BANG]
JAMES: Is that Trashula
can take on many forms.
He could be that
tree right there.
What?
He could be this
rock down here.
He could be anywhere.
He could be a a
piece of newspaper.
He could be one of those
stupid Christmas tree things
that people put in their cars
to make them smell better.
Does he have to be
something trash based?
Well, his name's Trashula,
so I'd think maybe.
He can even make things like
a newspaper with a knife.
And I got attacked when
I first came in here.
He could be anywhere
at any time.
We're almost just waiting
for something to happen,
if this Trashula just gonna--
gonna pop out and get us.
I think Trashula
controls all of this.
We need to walk,
and walk, and walk.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
JAMES: Hey, look at that.
Is that what I think it is?
It's a phone book.
Oh.
What?
You know what we could do?
We could call for help.
ARD: H.
H. H.
Yeah.
G, G, H. You know what?
That's not H. That's G. H.
OK.
So now we're in H,
what do we do now?
Help.
Right, right, help.
H. Help me out.
What's after-- what's after H?
Next page.
Next page.
Next.
JAMES: Next page?
And the next.
JAMES: Next page.
There.
There?
That guy.
It says he helps people.
JAMES: Arkansas Brown.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
It says here he
can find anything.
Oh, get this, low cost.
Bonded?
And licensed.
Looks like it says 300
findings this year alone.
I think that's our guy.
I think that's our guy.
Should we call him?
Yeah.
JAMES: OK.
I'm getting
pretty good service.
Are you really?
At three bars, yeah.
Huh.
Arkansas Brown.
Hold up, hold up.
We should check his
Yelp reviews first,
just to make sure we don't
get involved with a guy who
isn't as great as his name.
That's-- that's
probably a good idea.
Arkansas Brown.
Brown with a B?
JAMES: Brown with a B, yeah.
Look at that, five stars.
It says right there,
guaranteed, I can find anyone.
Arkansas Brown.
Yeah.
I can't wait to meet this--
[PHONE RINGING]
[COUGHS]
[PHONE RINGING]
[COUGHS]
[PHONE RINGING]
[CLEARS THROAT] Hello?
Hello.
Listen, I ain't got all night.
I got a bad case of
hemorrhoids and Epstein-Barr.
Is-- is this Arkansas Brown?
Are you available?
Can you help us?
Can you find us?
Tell him where we're at.
We're-- we're in a dumpster.
No, we're in a dumpster.
Dumpster.
Hello?
No, a dumpster.
Can you help us and find us?
We're in a dumpster.
Yeah, I can drop you a pin.
OK, I'll be right there.
Just don't forget to pay my fee.
Don't forget to enter
your card number.
OK.
PayPal.
How-- how are you
planning on finding us?
Because like I was saying,
we're in a dumpster.
I'm Arkansas Brown.
I can find anyone.
He's telling us
to keep walking.
He'll find us.
Listen, shitneck, this
card better clear, or my name
isn't Arkansas.
Brown.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
He hung up.
ARD: But that means he's
on his way, I'll bet.
JAMES: Yeah.
ARD: And he said
to-- he said to--
JAMES: Keep walking.
ARD: Keep walking.
I hate this job sometimes, all
the assholes I gotta deal with,
like this asshole.
Makes me want to put my
head in a round hole.
He's in a dumpster.
What kind of asshole
gets lost in a dumpster?
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[COUGHS]
[COUGHING]
I probably should have
asked more questions.
Ah, fuck it.
Too much talk's
bad for the mouth.
One thing I've learned dealing
with shit necks over the years,
they're just shit.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GROANS]
I guess I better go
find these assholes.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
ARD: Arkansas Brown.
JAMES: Arkansas.
Brown
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Bet he's a real nice guy.
ARD: Oh, I bet he--
maybe we'll take him
out to dinner after.
JAMES: Yeah, yeah.
ARD: Wait a minute.
What the--
[WHIRRING]
Whoa!
What?
How did we get here?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I can't-- I can't
keep track of this.
Well, we gotta
get out of here.
Drop-- drop a pin to--
to the guy, Arkansas Brown.
Arkansas Brown.
Good idea.
Hopefully, he'll
be able to find us.
Scroll.
Go to--
There we go.
To?
That one.
There.
Right there.
OK, right there.
How long do you think
it'll take him to find us?
I don't know.
It's gonna take a
while, I'm guessing.
Maybe a couple days?
Oh.
Well, he's got it now.
Arkansas Brown,
come quick, my friend.
[SIREN BLARING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BOOM]
[WHIRRING]
Save us.
Save us.
Find us and get us out of here.
JAMES: Yeah, we need
to get out of here.
That's a man who's
gonna do it for us.
How did we get back in here?
He's gonna be here any minute.
I can feel it.
JAMES: I don't think
it's any minute.
It's gonna be a
couple of days if--
at the earliest.
ARD: Did you see
his Yelp reviews?
JAMES: I did see
his Yelp reviews.
But I think being in a dumpster,
it's gonna take him a while.
He didn't say there was
fine print at the bottom.
He said fast, friendly service.
Well, I still think
two days is fast,
friendly service in this place.
Quicker is better.
He's got a five star rating.
I agree, but, yeah,
yeah, but he's not
gonna be here in four minutes.
He's gonna be here in
days, maybe a week.
And that's early.
45-- 30 to 45.
30 to 40-- that's
not gonna happen.
ARD: Arkansas Brown
would not steer us wrong.
Oh, he might steer us wrong.
Two weeks?
Two days?
Two days from now.
No.
Two days from now is--
I'm saying 30 to 45 minutes--
No.
--he'll be here.
No.
Arkansas Brown.
JAMES: Listen, Cousin It, that's
not gonna happen in 45 minutes.
It's gonna happen in
two days, three days,
possibly a week,
maybe two weeks.
This isn't something easy.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I understand the
five star rating,
but that doesn't mean he's
gonna be [INDISTINCT].
It's gonna take him
a while, maybe days.
I understand why that fast.
Hey!
[BELL RINGS]
Stop the arguing.
We're getting out
of here right now.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
And I'm going to
kick the shit out
of anything that
gets in our way.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Is that it?
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[INAUDIBLE]
You sent him the pin.
You go get him.
No, you said he'd be
here in five seconds.
Well, no--
JAMES: You go get it.
I said 25--
I think since you're younger,
you should go get it.
I think you should go get
it because you're older.
We'll go in a row with
you being in the front
and me taking care of
everything behind us.
I think I like you.
And I'll take care of everything
behind as you go first.
ARD: Shoulder-to-shoulder,
let's walk right towards it.
And maybe we'll decide
when we get there.
OK, ready?
Let's try.
Shoulder-to-shoulder.
Don't get behind me.
No, no.
OK.
Right, here we go.
Oh, no.
I don't feel good about this.
I don't like this either.
I don't feel good.
OK.
OK, you ready?
You want to do it?
No, no, no, no, no.
I trust you.
OK, I'm gonna do this.
No.
No.
Oh, gosh.
1, 2, 3.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Oh.
Oh.
Dear,
Dear, God.
Oh, heavens to Betsy.
Well, he's-- he's gone.
He's gone.
You're right about that part.
JAMES: But he got here fast,
and I think that this is--
was he really even
here, is my thing?
I mean, he was here.
Was he not?
I don't know, but--
Well, he-- he took
your money, right?
Like--
Oh, he did take my money.
ARD: You sent him
a PayPal, right?
Yeah, I did.
Can you contact
your bank, maybe?
I probably should get
a refund, shouldn't I?
I think so, yeah.
If they don't, I think you
could write a complaint.
But you know what this
means, though, right?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
If you're saying what I
think you're saying, which is,
we're on our own.
This is it.
This is it.
It's you and me.
[SIGHS] All right.
JAMES: Well, I'll make
sure to call my bank
and get that refund.
Goodbye, old friend
that was a new friend.
JAMES: We-- goodbye, Arkansas.
Brown.
Brown.
Brown.
Hasta La vista.
Hasta La vista.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
Boy, I never thought that I
was gonna have a day like this,
like today.
Man, this whole experience
has been a journey
I can hardly believe myself.
Well, I'll tell you,
it's really amazing here.
Oh, we-- we could walk for
miles, and miles, and miles.
Been attacked by
newspapers, bottles.
I was even attacked by a box.
The worst.
And I tell you, the worst thing
I've found is packing peanuts.
They get stuck in your throat.
You start coughing.
[COUGHS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
We're walking for
miles and miles.
Are we ever getting out
of here, is my question.
ARD: The outcome is rather grim.
Grim?
What do you mean,
outcome's grim?
Well, I'll tell you, I've
walked, and walked, and walked,
and ran, and walked, and ran
some more, and walked some more.
And I'll tell you, the
forecast that I can think,
I can see in my mind's
eye, is that you and I
will be friends to the end.
And that's sooner than we think.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
But what about Arkansas Brown?
He came into this
dumpster to save us.
What are we gonna
tell his family?
Each man's journey
is so unique.
It's-- it's specific to them.
But I'll tell you, it's like
a shoe without a shoelace.
You can walk for a while, and
walk for a while, and walk for--
OK, OK, but you're--
what are you trying to say?
ARD: I'm trying to
tell you, I don't know.
JAMES: You don't know?
[WHIRRING]
You're telling me that
we're gonna walk, and walk,
and walk for a while, and
maybe run a little, and then
some more walking.
But how did we get here?
Have you even asked
that question?
How did we even get here?
We're in a dumpster.
And after all that walking,
we're not getting out.
No, you're right.
You're right.
I-- I hate to admit that
what's brought you here
on your journey, I cannot tell
you what started any of it.
But you're here
now with me, lost
in the vastness of the dumpster.
But if there's one
thing, one thing I
can stress to you,
the specifics of the--
the perfect and--
What are you talking about?
You keep-- are you
making words up?
Or what are you trying
to say right here?
ARD: It's crystal clear.
Don't you see?
I-- apparently not.
I don't see anything
you're talking about.
[WHEEZING]
Get this man a cup of water.
You have any water?
I could use a drop or two.
JAMES: Know this,
I'm getting out
of here, no matter
circumstances,
no matter how many
miles I have to walk.
I'm getting out of here,
and I'm taking you with me.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Wait, I remember
this, I remember this.
This is where I came in.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Isn't that where you--
what?
Well, it was really
nice meeting you.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[BEEPING]
[WHIRRING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
Soda!
[GROANING]
I--
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[BOOM]
I hate trash.
Talk about a day in the dumper.
[BEEPING]
[BANG]
[ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BANG]
[BANG]
Trashula.
[BANG]
You want to get trashy?
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
Let's get trashy.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BANGING]
[GROANS]
[BANGING]
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
[CHATTER]
[ROARS]
[BANG]
[ROARING]
[BANG]
[ROARS]
[BANG]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[WHIRRING]
[BANGING]
[SHOUTING]
SKIP576: Did the events you
witnessed really happen?
Did the story of the
killer garbage dumpster,
which doubled as a portal
into a world that can only
be described as something
of a Terry Gilliam film,
really exist?
Did anything that James Lomie
claims happen really take place?
More importantly, does
a being like nefarious
Trashula really exist?
And if it does, what are
the consequences of that?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
No, no, no, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
don't go in there.
[RINGING]
Talk about a day in the dumper.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[BANGING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[LAUGHS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
NARRATOR: Somewhere in a realm
that exists parallel to Earth--
[ROARS]
NARRATOR: --between
heaven and hell,
exists a being that rules
over all the garbage, and all
the trash cans, and
all the dumpsters,
all the other places
that waste-like place.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
NARRATOR: This being is
known with universal fear.
Its name?
Trashula.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[ROCK MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[ROCK MUSIC]
LESTER: The following
tale you're about to see
is one that might be just too
fantastical to be believed.
It involves a killer dumpster,
killer trash, blood, gore,
and a Rumpelstiltskin
figure named Ard Buckets.
What you're about to witness
is the erstwhile story
of a man who unwittingly
found himself
entering a universe of
garbage few knew exists.
So sit back and enjoy this story
that some say is 100% true.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
ELLEN (ON PHONE): Hey,
James, this is Ellen.
Your last payment
didn't come through.
That's OK, though.
Can you just tack it
on to the next one?
I know that's coming due soon.
I really don't want you to get
hit with any more penalties.
So how are things?
Crazy not being
married anymore, huh?
That reminds me, the lump sum,
you were supposed to pay was
$30,000.
To date, you've only managed
to pay $25,000 of that.
I really don't want
to be a stickler here,
but that is what the judge
said that you owe me.
All right, you don't
need to call me back.
I know you're busy.
Just please take care
of that financial stuff
so we can move past this.
[SIGHS] This is bad.
This is really, really bad.
STEPHEN (ON PHONE): Hello,
James, it's Stephen.
I just spoke with
Ellen's attorney.
We went back and
forth on everything.
I made sure all of your
concerns were known.
I also made it
clear that we were
gonna fight them tooth
and nail on everything,
which is exactly what I did
for the last 10 minutes.
So it looks like Ellen's gonna
get everything she wants.
They made a few
concessions in some areas.
But overall, she's
gonna get everything.
So I'm sorry things
didn't go more our way.
I'll have Marie
from my office call
you to set up a payment plan.
Talk soon, and be
good to yourself.
It can always be worse, right?
OK, bubba.
[SIGHS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
What is that guy doing?
Thief.
I gotta get this
place cleaned up.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[SHOUTING]
[GROANING]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SCREAMING]
JAMES: Oh, my gosh!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Listen, I don't think
you guys really are
comprehending what I'm saying.
I just saw a man get beheaded!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SCREAMS]
His head was cut off!
You think it was an owl?
OK, that's what it was.
An owl beheaded somebody.
Yeah, that's how it works.
That's what owls are known for.
Not for being on
trees saying, hoo.
Would you listen to me and take
me seriously for one minute?
Can I at least
give you my address
so someone can come
out and see this?
Why would I give you my address?
Because I just told you.
No, a man was beheaded outside.
There's no body.
It's just the head.
And I don't even
know if that's there.
Could you at least come down
and launch an investigation?
Look, I'm a taxpayer.
I know what my services
are available to me,
and this is certainly
one of them.
When somebody calls to tell you
that they've been-- someone's
been decapitated, that
might be something
you want to come
out and investigate.
Does that make sense?
As that, I see it this way, as
you should see it the same way.
That I am your
boss, technically.
And if you-- it's not an owl.
Would you quit
saying it's an owl?
I'm the one who
pays your salary.
Not technically
comes out of my--
no, but my taxpayer dollars do.
You're arguing with me
with a decapitation.
Do you realize that you're
doing that right now?
This is your best thinking,
is to argue with me
about somebody who
was decapitated.
So I know what I saw.
I saw somebody get decapitated.
Now, would you please
send someone down
for an investigation?
Because to be honest-- hello?
Hello?
Everything in my life,
everything in my life, you know?
Everything in my life.
Always something.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
In what seems to be
the ultimate disconnect
from reality, a man named James
Lomie, called the Poohbell
Police, saying that he
witnessed a dumpster decapitate
another human being.
After insisting to the police
that he, in fact, witnessed
the dumpster brandish a blade
and slice off a man's head,
the police promptly placed a
wellness check on Mr. Lomie.
After talking with
him for an hour,
the officer said that,
while not a prank,
Lomie appears to have too
many things wrong with him
for the officers to offer
any meaningful help.
They suggested he, quote, "Make
some friends, get out more,
and see a dentist," end quote.
Next up in sports, it's a
dumpster fire out there, folks.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
James, listen to me, please.
I know, I know that
this is a tough time.
Divorce is absolutely
devastating.
You know your mother
and I went through this.
Your grandfather and
grandmother went through this.
This will tear you apart.
It is unbelievably tough
for everybody involved.
Every day seems to be so tough.
You wake up, and you've got
this heavy weight of divorce
on your back.
But you know what?
You will get through it.
It will be tough.
Every day will be a
little bit better.
You see some light through
the end of the tunnel.
I'm saying this now, it
probably is going in one ear
and out the other.
But trust me, I've run that way.
I've been that way.
I've taken that road.
You will get through this.
I know that you're
looking at me.
I know you've got
big academic degrees.
I know you're a professor.
You don't believe me.
But you're not that smart
when it comes to divorce.
I know divorce.
You don't.
And I'll tell you, if you
don't change your ways,
if you don't get out of this
funk that you're in day in
and day out, your whole
life is gonna be destroyed.
Your whole life will be a funk.
And you don't want that, James.
You don't want that.
Get out of this funk.
Life will be better.
Turn the light back on.
I can tell, the way
you've been acting,
your life is in the
dump, is in a dump.
It's in a dumpster.
It's been thrown away.
But we can resurrect that.
JAMES: It's-- I understand
what you're saying.
And what you believe that
I'm going through, part of it
might be right.
But I don't think it's all
that bad as what you're saying.
It-- I have a life, sort of.
It's not the kind of
thing that-- like,
that I can just
come out of and just
be this person that
everybody expects me to be.
I've had
accomplishments, I think.
I've done good things.
I'm a good person.
I don't see what the
problem really is.
BOONE: James, you're not
living in the real world.
You don't know what
you're talking about.
You're trying to cover up the
hurt, the mess, that you've
created in your life
with this divorce.
You don't know what
you're talking about.
You have to listen.
As I've said before, your
life is in the dumper.
It's in the dumpster
out in the back.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SNORING]
[MUMBLES]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Ah!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
No.
No.
Ah!
No, no.
No.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Ah!
No.
[SNORES] No.
No.
Garbage dumpster.
No.
[SCREAMS]
[SNORES] No.
No.
No.
Stop it.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Stop.
[SIGHS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[MUMBLING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SNORES] Oh.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
What now?
Ah!
Oh, no.
No.
Ah!
No more.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Oh, oh.
[SNORES]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Ah!
[GASPS]
[GROANS]
[PANTING]
[SIREN BLARING FAINTLY]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
JAMES (VOICEOVER): Oh, Lord.
Oh, Lord.
Oh, for the love of God.
This dumpster is tied
somehow to an ancient tribe.
It was ruled by an
evil spirit called--
Trashula.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
NARRATOR: It was a
being of lightning.
It decimated anything
in its way and wouldn't
stop until it created
untold carnage on the world.
It was Trashula.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
JAMES (VOICEOVER): Oh, Lord.
It can take on many forms.
So what I'm looking at here is
it means anything can be alive.
It can possess
inanimate objects.
It can make them sentient.
Does that mean the food in
your stomach could be alive?
Well, I guess you would
have to dumpster dive.
I dumpster dived once.
I didn't like it.
Didn't care for it.
Oh, wow.
This is bad.
This is very, very bad.
I'm scared!
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
This is not good.
What is in that dumpster?
JAMES: I want to show you
some of this stuff, and it's--
I know what you're
gonna say, Dad.
This is evidence
of this dumpster.
This evidence here
is gonna show you
that this dumpster is possessed.
There's something going
on with this dumpster.
It's not the kind
of thing where it's
like, oh, the trash man just
comes and takes out-- no,
there's not like, somebody
left something in there.
This is a possessed dumpster.
It brings inanimate objects
to life, this dumpster does.
I mean, look at
this evidence here.
I saw this dumpster-- look it.
I saw this dumpster
kill someone.
Dad, I'm not kidding.
It's something that
people need to look into.
This isn't-- this isn't a joke.
James, I didn't
believe, I don't believe,
how this divorce has
warped your brain.
For you to believe that
a dumpster in the back
is possessed, you are
sicker than I thought.
James, to think that a dumpster
at your apartment is possessed,
the sickness goes deeper.
I thought divorce would
warp you a little bit.
But to have you believe that
the dumpster in your apartment
is possessed and
is killing people,
you are sicker than I thought.
There's evidence here that's
showing that something's going
on, and no one's believing me.
BOONE: It's in your head.
It's not in the dumpster
near your apartment.
It's in your head.
I believe that.
I know what I'm
talking about, and I need
people to take me seriously.
And why you don't
take me seriously?
James, I have a solution.
Get your head out of the
dumpster in your apartment
and get dating.
You need to get out.
Get out, meet people, meet
girls, go to some dating sites,
go to a church social, but
get out of your apartment.
Get out of the dumpster
that's in your head,
and meet people,
and get out there.
It's warping your mind.
James, it's in your head.
You need to leave your
dumpster and your apartment
behind, open the door,
get out into the world,
start meeting people.
The divorce is done, is over.
Get meeting people.
You need to start healing your
brain from this stupid, stupid--
James, you're supposed to
be an intelligent professor.
For you to believe that the
dumpster in your apartment
is haunted, I've met some
dumb professors in my life.
I've had some dumb
professors in my life.
This might be the dumbest.
You might be the
dumbest professor
ever because you're believing
this stupid, stupid thinking
about a possessed dumpster
in your apartment.
I learned about this
being, and this being
is called Trashula.
Your mind is completely
gone for you to believe that.
If you don't stop
this, your life
forever will be in the dumper.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
James Lomie was escorted out
of a Poohbell police station
when he became
aggressive and loud,
regarding claims of a
murderous garbage dumpster.
Even though Mr. Lomie had
already spoken to police,
he insisted on talking
with the Chief of Police
in order to discuss
his findings.
BABY: [CRIES]
When not granted an audience,
he became loud and aggressive,
and was removed from
the police station,
but vowed to keep his
investigation going.
[SIREN BLARING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
JAMES: [SIGHS]
Donuts always make
me feel better.
I'm gonna go take
a look at that.
[BEEPING]
[WHIRRING]
[BEEPING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANS]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
No.
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GROANS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Oh!
What are you doing?
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
Wow, this is a big dumpster.
I don't believe this.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
Got attacked with trash bags?
What's that?
Oh.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[WHIRRING]
Whoa.
How big is this trash can?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[WHIRRING]
Whoa.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
A golden grabber?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
ARD: [GROWLING]
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
ARD: [GROWLING]
JAMES: Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
ARD: What?
JAMES: Wake up.
Hey, wake up.
ARD: What's going on?
JAMES: Come on!
ARD: What?
Who is it?
Oh.
JAMES: Here, let me help you.
ARD: Oh, God.
Oh, here, here.
ARD: Help me up, young man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah of course.
Oh.
Hey.
Well, you're a
sight for sore eyes.
I'm gonna say the same thing.
It's good to see you.
Well, it's good
to see you, too.
What's your name?
My name's Ard Buckets.
Ard Buckets.
Well, nice to meet you, Ard.
And who are you, my young man?
My name's James Gump.
James Gump.
It is great to meet you.
It's great to see you.
ARD: Oh, I haven't
seen anyone in--
I can't remember how long.
JAMES: Well, I've been walking
around here a long time.
Look at this.
I found this golden grabber.
What do you use it for?
Well, you use it for--
for grabbing stuff.
Oh, but it's golden.
It's golden.
Is it special?
JAMES: I would think so.
Oh.
JAMES: It looks special.
Ard, how long have
you been in here?
ARD: Well, as I think about it,
from the rooster to the crow.
Yeah.
And as the crow flies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Down the road.
Yeah.
And if you look on a map.
And if you take all your bushels
and put them in a basket.
Yeah.
And if you count your
chickens before they hatch.
It's been a long time.
Now, how did you get
inside the dumpster?
So I walked by the dumpster.
I'm looking in it.
And I put my hand
right on the dumpster.
And boom, I'm here.
Well, that's exactly
what happened to me.
I saw a dumpster.
And as I got closer, I
just touched the side,
and I was inside.
JAMES: And that must have
been a long time ago.
As I remember, as the donkey
honks and the horse neighs.
Yeah.
It's been a long time.
It sounds like it.
That's a-- a donkey
honk and a horse neighs,
that sounds like a long time.
Did you just get here?
Yeah, I mean,
not too long ago.
You've probably missed
out on a lot of stuff.
Oh, maybe.
They got this new
thing called cell phones.
What you do is you
carry them with you.
I got one too.
You got one.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That's amazing.
It's checking my
heart rate right now.
JAMES: Oh, well, yeah,
you've got a good one there.
Oh.
Well, you definitely missed
this other thing called AI?
Oh, no, I got AI too.
See, the app right there?
I was doing prompts
just the other day,
and it was reading me
stories I'd heard about.
JAMES: Right.
OK.
See, I got this
thing right here.
You got that app.
It does a picture
of me every day.
Look, I got no
hair and no beard.
Look at that.
That looks great.
That's my favorite.
You're a handsome man.
Thank you.
You know, you did miss
out on the last election.
Let me tell you, that
President that we got.
Oh.
Oh, I'll stop you there.
OK.
I know exactly
who you're talking.
[LAUGHTER]
Yee, yee, yee, yee,
yee, yoo, yeah, yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh.
Oh.
You know what?
I'm gonna say this early
on in our relationship,
but I like you.
I think I agree.
I like you too.
You know what we
should do, you and I?
What's that?
Let's team up.
Let's figure this place out.
What do you say?
Hey, there's room for two.
Let's do it, my friend.
Yeah.
ARD: There we go.
Ard and James
gonna rule the world.
ARD: It's got a ring to it.
I like it.
JAMES: I like it, too.
The President.
[LAUGHTER]
ARD: Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Watch your step here, now.
All right, all right.
Well, it's good to
have a friend now.
ARD: We're gonna
make a great team.
We're gonna make a great team.
Yeah, it's nice to have
somebody in the same thing.
Yeah, this is gonna be fun.
Lost in this world together,
but we're finding our way.
We are finding our way.
And this place, this is amazing.
This is a dumpster.
Something peculiar
about this place.
Yeah.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
JAMES: Do you like pizza?
ARD: What?
What's that.
JAMES: You know, pizza.
ARD: I don't know what that is.
Is that food?
JAMES: Yeah, it's bread,
and cheese, and dough, and--
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Oh!
Oh!
JAMES: Oh.
[GROANING] Oh, God.
[GROANING]
JAMES: Ah!
Oh.
God!
What are you trying to do?
[GROANS]
Let us live, please.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
Oh, son of a gun.
Oh, God.
Sapsucker.
[GROANING]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Ah.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
You all right, Ard?
Oh.
Are you OK?
My friend.
Oh, yeah.
You saved my life.
Wow, it was crazy.
You all right?
Did it get you?
I think you--
I think you were just in time.
Oh.
ARD: I owe you one of those--
what'd you call it?
It's the bread and the sauce.
Pizza.
[BOOM]
[WHIRRING]
[BOOM]
[BOOM]
What just happened?
I don't know.
Where are we?
ARD: I-- I don't think I've
seen this place before.
JAMES: Well, you're the walker.
You should see everything.
You haven't seen this?
ARD: No, it's new to me.
Oh.
There's a lot going on here.
How big is this dumpster?
I can tell you
this, it's not small.
So what do we do now?
Boy, I think what we
need to do, we gotta walk.
Pick a direction.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
Well, this is crazy.
This is a dumpster.
It's gotta be the
biggest one in the world.
JAMES: Easily the
biggest one in the world.
But how-- how did they do this?
I don't know.
And there's even airplanes.
Years and years ago,
I was a pilot myself.
You were?
ARD: I flew a plane
just like that.
Oh, it's like the
size of 10 dumpsters.
I was in enemy
territory, and I crash
landed into some trees
just like these ones.
I walked, and walked,
and walked, and walked,
and walked until I found a lake.
JAMES: A lake.
And there were-- there
were people having a picnic.
Yeah.
ARD: And they were having their
annual bellyflop competition.
JAMES: Oh, yeah, that's fun.
ARD: And I couldn't resist.
JAMES: Yeah.
I had to partake.
I came in third place.
Third place?
Yeah, the gold, I
couldn't reach it.
Just the bronze.
Those were glory days.
What am I talking about?
We're-- we're in this
enormous dumpster.
Yeah.
It's a world we-- we
cannot seem to grasp at all.
I have a suggestion.
JAMES: Yeah?
I've got one
thought in my mind.
I think we should walk.
JAMES: OK.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
But I-- I have done
extensive studying.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
And I studied this creature.
He's called Trashula.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Trashula?
Yeah.
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
JAMES: Trashula.
He's kind of like the guy here,
maybe created this whole place.
He can turn things
into a dumpster--
[BANG]
--and make them come to life.
He was the leader of a
big tribe of dumpsters.
[BANG]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
NARRATOR" Vlad the Impaler,
Hannibal Alexander the Great,
Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun.
None of them compare to the
ruthless, insatiable killing
nature of the Trash Demon of
Darkness, the Butcher of Basura,
Trashula!
[BANG]
JAMES: Is that Trashula
can take on many forms.
He could be that
tree right there.
What?
He could be this
rock down here.
He could be anywhere.
He could be a a
piece of newspaper.
He could be one of those
stupid Christmas tree things
that people put in their cars
to make them smell better.
Does he have to be
something trash based?
Well, his name's Trashula,
so I'd think maybe.
He can even make things like
a newspaper with a knife.
And I got attacked when
I first came in here.
He could be anywhere
at any time.
We're almost just waiting
for something to happen,
if this Trashula just gonna--
gonna pop out and get us.
I think Trashula
controls all of this.
We need to walk,
and walk, and walk.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
JAMES: Hey, look at that.
Is that what I think it is?
It's a phone book.
Oh.
What?
You know what we could do?
We could call for help.
ARD: H.
H. H.
Yeah.
G, G, H. You know what?
That's not H. That's G. H.
OK.
So now we're in H,
what do we do now?
Help.
Right, right, help.
H. Help me out.
What's after-- what's after H?
Next page.
Next page.
Next.
JAMES: Next page?
And the next.
JAMES: Next page.
There.
There?
That guy.
It says he helps people.
JAMES: Arkansas Brown.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
It says here he
can find anything.
Oh, get this, low cost.
Bonded?
And licensed.
Looks like it says 300
findings this year alone.
I think that's our guy.
I think that's our guy.
Should we call him?
Yeah.
JAMES: OK.
I'm getting
pretty good service.
Are you really?
At three bars, yeah.
Huh.
Arkansas Brown.
Hold up, hold up.
We should check his
Yelp reviews first,
just to make sure we don't
get involved with a guy who
isn't as great as his name.
That's-- that's
probably a good idea.
Arkansas Brown.
Brown with a B?
JAMES: Brown with a B, yeah.
Look at that, five stars.
It says right there,
guaranteed, I can find anyone.
Arkansas Brown.
Yeah.
I can't wait to meet this--
[PHONE RINGING]
[COUGHS]
[PHONE RINGING]
[COUGHS]
[PHONE RINGING]
[CLEARS THROAT] Hello?
Hello.
Listen, I ain't got all night.
I got a bad case of
hemorrhoids and Epstein-Barr.
Is-- is this Arkansas Brown?
Are you available?
Can you help us?
Can you find us?
Tell him where we're at.
We're-- we're in a dumpster.
No, we're in a dumpster.
Dumpster.
Hello?
No, a dumpster.
Can you help us and find us?
We're in a dumpster.
Yeah, I can drop you a pin.
OK, I'll be right there.
Just don't forget to pay my fee.
Don't forget to enter
your card number.
OK.
PayPal.
How-- how are you
planning on finding us?
Because like I was saying,
we're in a dumpster.
I'm Arkansas Brown.
I can find anyone.
He's telling us
to keep walking.
He'll find us.
Listen, shitneck, this
card better clear, or my name
isn't Arkansas.
Brown.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
He hung up.
ARD: But that means he's
on his way, I'll bet.
JAMES: Yeah.
ARD: And he said
to-- he said to--
JAMES: Keep walking.
ARD: Keep walking.
I hate this job sometimes, all
the assholes I gotta deal with,
like this asshole.
Makes me want to put my
head in a round hole.
He's in a dumpster.
What kind of asshole
gets lost in a dumpster?
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[COUGHS]
[COUGHING]
I probably should have
asked more questions.
Ah, fuck it.
Too much talk's
bad for the mouth.
One thing I've learned dealing
with shit necks over the years,
they're just shit.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GROANS]
I guess I better go
find these assholes.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
ARD: Arkansas Brown.
JAMES: Arkansas.
Brown
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Bet he's a real nice guy.
ARD: Oh, I bet he--
maybe we'll take him
out to dinner after.
JAMES: Yeah, yeah.
ARD: Wait a minute.
What the--
[WHIRRING]
Whoa!
What?
How did we get here?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I can't-- I can't
keep track of this.
Well, we gotta
get out of here.
Drop-- drop a pin to--
to the guy, Arkansas Brown.
Arkansas Brown.
Good idea.
Hopefully, he'll
be able to find us.
Scroll.
Go to--
There we go.
To?
That one.
There.
Right there.
OK, right there.
How long do you think
it'll take him to find us?
I don't know.
It's gonna take a
while, I'm guessing.
Maybe a couple days?
Oh.
Well, he's got it now.
Arkansas Brown,
come quick, my friend.
[SIREN BLARING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BOOM]
[WHIRRING]
Save us.
Save us.
Find us and get us out of here.
JAMES: Yeah, we need
to get out of here.
That's a man who's
gonna do it for us.
How did we get back in here?
He's gonna be here any minute.
I can feel it.
JAMES: I don't think
it's any minute.
It's gonna be a
couple of days if--
at the earliest.
ARD: Did you see
his Yelp reviews?
JAMES: I did see
his Yelp reviews.
But I think being in a dumpster,
it's gonna take him a while.
He didn't say there was
fine print at the bottom.
He said fast, friendly service.
Well, I still think
two days is fast,
friendly service in this place.
Quicker is better.
He's got a five star rating.
I agree, but, yeah,
yeah, but he's not
gonna be here in four minutes.
He's gonna be here in
days, maybe a week.
And that's early.
45-- 30 to 45.
30 to 40-- that's
not gonna happen.
ARD: Arkansas Brown
would not steer us wrong.
Oh, he might steer us wrong.
Two weeks?
Two days?
Two days from now.
No.
Two days from now is--
I'm saying 30 to 45 minutes--
No.
--he'll be here.
No.
Arkansas Brown.
JAMES: Listen, Cousin It, that's
not gonna happen in 45 minutes.
It's gonna happen in
two days, three days,
possibly a week,
maybe two weeks.
This isn't something easy.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I understand the
five star rating,
but that doesn't mean he's
gonna be [INDISTINCT].
It's gonna take him
a while, maybe days.
I understand why that fast.
Hey!
[BELL RINGS]
Stop the arguing.
We're getting out
of here right now.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
And I'm going to
kick the shit out
of anything that
gets in our way.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SHOUTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Is that it?
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[INAUDIBLE]
You sent him the pin.
You go get him.
No, you said he'd be
here in five seconds.
Well, no--
JAMES: You go get it.
I said 25--
I think since you're younger,
you should go get it.
I think you should go get
it because you're older.
We'll go in a row with
you being in the front
and me taking care of
everything behind us.
I think I like you.
And I'll take care of everything
behind as you go first.
ARD: Shoulder-to-shoulder,
let's walk right towards it.
And maybe we'll decide
when we get there.
OK, ready?
Let's try.
Shoulder-to-shoulder.
Don't get behind me.
No, no.
OK.
Right, here we go.
Oh, no.
I don't feel good about this.
I don't like this either.
I don't feel good.
OK.
OK, you ready?
You want to do it?
No, no, no, no, no.
I trust you.
OK, I'm gonna do this.
No.
No.
Oh, gosh.
1, 2, 3.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Oh.
Oh.
Dear,
Dear, God.
Oh, heavens to Betsy.
Well, he's-- he's gone.
He's gone.
You're right about that part.
JAMES: But he got here fast,
and I think that this is--
was he really even
here, is my thing?
I mean, he was here.
Was he not?
I don't know, but--
Well, he-- he took
your money, right?
Like--
Oh, he did take my money.
ARD: You sent him
a PayPal, right?
Yeah, I did.
Can you contact
your bank, maybe?
I probably should get
a refund, shouldn't I?
I think so, yeah.
If they don't, I think you
could write a complaint.
But you know what this
means, though, right?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
If you're saying what I
think you're saying, which is,
we're on our own.
This is it.
This is it.
It's you and me.
[SIGHS] All right.
JAMES: Well, I'll make
sure to call my bank
and get that refund.
Goodbye, old friend
that was a new friend.
JAMES: We-- goodbye, Arkansas.
Brown.
Brown.
Brown.
Hasta La vista.
Hasta La vista.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
Boy, I never thought that I
was gonna have a day like this,
like today.
Man, this whole experience
has been a journey
I can hardly believe myself.
Well, I'll tell you,
it's really amazing here.
Oh, we-- we could walk for
miles, and miles, and miles.
Been attacked by
newspapers, bottles.
I was even attacked by a box.
The worst.
And I tell you, the worst thing
I've found is packing peanuts.
They get stuck in your throat.
You start coughing.
[COUGHS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
We're walking for
miles and miles.
Are we ever getting out
of here, is my question.
ARD: The outcome is rather grim.
Grim?
What do you mean,
outcome's grim?
Well, I'll tell you, I've
walked, and walked, and walked,
and ran, and walked, and ran
some more, and walked some more.
And I'll tell you, the
forecast that I can think,
I can see in my mind's
eye, is that you and I
will be friends to the end.
And that's sooner than we think.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
But what about Arkansas Brown?
He came into this
dumpster to save us.
What are we gonna
tell his family?
Each man's journey
is so unique.
It's-- it's specific to them.
But I'll tell you, it's like
a shoe without a shoelace.
You can walk for a while, and
walk for a while, and walk for--
OK, OK, but you're--
what are you trying to say?
ARD: I'm trying to
tell you, I don't know.
JAMES: You don't know?
[WHIRRING]
You're telling me that
we're gonna walk, and walk,
and walk for a while, and
maybe run a little, and then
some more walking.
But how did we get here?
Have you even asked
that question?
How did we even get here?
We're in a dumpster.
And after all that walking,
we're not getting out.
No, you're right.
You're right.
I-- I hate to admit that
what's brought you here
on your journey, I cannot tell
you what started any of it.
But you're here
now with me, lost
in the vastness of the dumpster.
But if there's one
thing, one thing I
can stress to you,
the specifics of the--
the perfect and--
What are you talking about?
You keep-- are you
making words up?
Or what are you trying
to say right here?
ARD: It's crystal clear.
Don't you see?
I-- apparently not.
I don't see anything
you're talking about.
[WHEEZING]
Get this man a cup of water.
You have any water?
I could use a drop or two.
JAMES: Know this,
I'm getting out
of here, no matter
circumstances,
no matter how many
miles I have to walk.
I'm getting out of here,
and I'm taking you with me.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Wait, I remember
this, I remember this.
This is where I came in.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Isn't that where you--
what?
Well, it was really
nice meeting you.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[BEEPING]
[WHIRRING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
Soda!
[GROANING]
I--
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[BOOM]
I hate trash.
Talk about a day in the dumper.
[BEEPING]
[BANG]
[ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BANG]
[BANG]
Trashula.
[BANG]
You want to get trashy?
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
Let's get trashy.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BANGING]
[GROANS]
[BANGING]
TRASHULA: [ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
[ROARS]
[CHATTER]
[ROARS]
[BANG]
[ROARING]
[BANG]
[ROARS]
[BANG]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[WHIRRING]
[BANGING]
[SHOUTING]
SKIP576: Did the events you
witnessed really happen?
Did the story of the
killer garbage dumpster,
which doubled as a portal
into a world that can only
be described as something
of a Terry Gilliam film,
really exist?
Did anything that James Lomie
claims happen really take place?
More importantly, does
a being like nefarious
Trashula really exist?
And if it does, what are
the consequences of that?
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
No, no, no, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
don't go in there.
[RINGING]
Talk about a day in the dumper.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC]
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[BANGING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]
[LAUGHS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ROARS]