Stage Fright (2014) Movie Script
No!
Ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh
Ohhh ohhh ohhh
Must this be my sacrifice?
My dream's come true,
but at what price?
Stand by, electrics 120.
Go.
Stand by, mist.
Look at your mother.
She's got great pipes
and she's fierce.
So fierce, I'm enchanted.
Electrics 130, go.
One-forty, go.
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now I'm forever haunted
: Bravo!
- Mommy, you were so good!
- Give me kisses.
- You're all sweaty.
- Then you get sweaty kisses.
- Ew!
- Be nice to your mother;
she's a big star now.
Your autograph, please,
Ms. Swanson?
Anything for my biggest fan.
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Guess who finally made it
tonight?
TheTimes?
Lawrence Gibbs is absolutely
in love with you.
That's great! That's great.
Congratulations, Mr. Producer.
You should get ready now,
my love.
- OK.
- Tonight, we celebrate.
- Should I take the twins?
- Sure.
OK, you go with Mr. McCall.
See you later.
Watch where you're goin',
little girl.
Hello?
Ah!
Very funny.
Where'd you get that?
You know you can't be
in here, right?
Better put that mask back,
or they'll have your head.
Oh, honey, we can't do this now.
I have to get dressed.
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Mmm. Oh.
Oh. Not now.
Ah.
Oh!
All of life's a song to sing
We're here, we're here,
we're finally here
The place where we can be ourselves
at least for once a year
The place where we can dance and
feel allowed to sing a song
Performing is our fantasy,
we're here where we belong!
- Hey, it's you
- Long time no see
What was your year like?
I got beaten up
a dozen times
For singing
Stephen Sondheim's rhymes
Those school bullies sound
awfully bad
What school bullies?
That was my dad Aw!
But thankfully
that's in the past
It's time to go sign up
for classes
Finally we're back
where we belong!
We've got costuming
and light design
And classes that help you
refine techniques
So you'll be sure to find
your true artistic voice
Whatever your abilities,
we've got the best facilities
Maintained by local hillbillies
who didn't have a choice
So many options,
so much to choose from
What to sign up for?
So much to improve on
Tho many thingth I'm working
on I've even made a litht
Diaphragm projecthion breathing
audienth connecthion theeking
If I wanna be a thtar
I gotta take more rithkth
Explore my inner narthithith,
emothional catharthith
To expreth mythelf
more clearly
I'm working on my lithp
Hm. Yeah, sure. OK.
We're here, we're here
We're here at Center Stage
The place where we can be ourselves
and no one calls us names
- They call me weirdo
- They call me freakshow
They call me sissy, puthy,
mushy mushy, homo
They call me very flitty, fairy,
fruity, flaming, bitchy, Liberace
- Floozy
- And a slew of other low-blows
All of us have heard these names of
hate, but let me get one thing straight
I'm gay, I'm gay,
but not in that way
Musicals move me and touch me
in ways I can't say
He's gay but not in that way
I sleep with women
But musicals make me
feel gay
I'm gay, I'm actually gay
I don't get hard
when I see T and A
Could be my DNA
Or how I was raised
We don't distinguish here
at Center Stage
We're all gay, we're gay
in all kinds of ways
Some in the bedroom
And some 'cause of
musical plays
- Ow, Sam, you're hurting me!
- Don't touch my hair!
We're here, we're here
- Yes!
- We're finally here
The place where we can be ourselves
at least for once a year
The place where we can dance and
feel allowed to sing a song
Where everyone is just like
me, that's where I belong!
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Little Mermaid, less singing,
more cooking.
It's time to feed the freaks.
Can't wait to get the hell out
of here for good.
- And do what?
- Make lots of money.
Start our own restaurant.
It's time to start thinking
about this stuff.
"I don't wanna think about it. "
Stop it.
"I want to live here
my whole life. "
- Stop it. Get away.
- Stop it!
What's going on here?
I got it.
I got it!
Did you make this mess?
What's the show this year?
Aha. It's gonna be a knockout.
Broadway agents,
Broadway scouts.
We're gonna be back in New York
before you know it.
What is it?
Your mother - God bless her -
would be proud.
You're good.
Break a leg.
Many years ago,
10, to be exact
I dreamed of a camp where kids could
come to learn to sing and act
No one thought it was possible,
they laughed behind my back
But it wouldn't be long
we'd prove them wrong
We're 10 years strong
in fact
Once I made the decision
to follow my ambition
And make a training ground
for dance and song
There were hardships
and obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
Woo!
Woo!
Campers and counsellors,
I believe that you will
agree with me
that after last summer's
bold musical re-imagining
of The Vagina Monologues,
this young man has
established himself
as the next Hal Prince.
Here he is now,
the director of this summer's
Limelight showcase,
Artie Getz!
Artie will be announcing
this summer's
Limelight production.
Haunting Of The Opera!
I think he thinks
it could help his career.
What career? He hasn't
produced anything in 10 years.
Well, if doing the play again
can help him
get back to New York,
that's a good thing.
- For all of us.
- You always seem to forget:
he's not our father.
Maybe I could even audition.
You actually wanna compete
with those theatre geeks?
Those kids aren't normal, Cam.
Look at them.
The entire musical theatre
canon is just begging -
begging! - for its themes
to be exploded outwards.
Watch, I bet he casts himself
as Alfonso.
Uh, for those of you wondering,
yes, I will be playing Alfonso.
Yep. - It's probably 'cause he
wants you to play Opera Ghost.
Or 'cause he wants to make out with me
again. - ... which is the very essence
of post-structuralism
in theatre today, and that's why
our production of Haunting...
will take place...
in feudal Japan.
- I'm not hearing anything.
- Itth brilliant.
Woo!
They're not gonna
let a cook steal a role from
a camper who pays to go here.
We're here, we're here,
we're finally here
The place where we can be ourselves
at least for once a year
We're here, we're here
I'm here
And I know you are here
Every time I sing
I feel you near
Now I have my song to sing
I'll sing with all my heart
I will sing just like you
I will get the part
Once I made the decision
to follow my ambition
And make a training ground
for dance and song
There were hardships
and obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
I will get the part
Shut your fucking face!
Alfonso
So tender, so strong,
so Alfonso
Do you not hear what I say
Sofia will star in the play
What's that say?
Sofia.
Bunk 23?
- Bunk 23?
- Ah!
Bunk 23.
Nice try.
- Oh, uh, they haven't updated the list yet.
- Save it.
I know you're one of the cooks.
I just want to audition.
- Can't let you do that.
- I could get into trouble.
No, no, you won't
get into trouble.
I'll tell them that I just snuck
by you and you didn't notice.
Yeah, like I wouldn't notice
a girl like you.
What's your name?
- Joel Hopton.
- Listen,
Joel...
if you do me this favour...
...I'll... I'll owe you one.
- Ms. Silver.
- Mr. Martin.
That it?
No! Um... me.
I've been dreaming,
wanting this moment
Now it's real,
I'm here at last
Everything just like
I imagined
But how did it happen
so fast?
I've been dreaming,
wanting to be here
I've been dreaming,
wanting to meet her
Watching from far
all of this time
Now it's real
but I mustn't lose her
I must make sure
she'll be mine
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
How could I have
Known that you would
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now I'm forever haunted
That girl!
Camilla!
What are you doing here?
Let's go, dinner's at 5.
Hey, Rog, a word? Hey.
Who's directing this show, huh?
We had a deal.
OK. Shh, shh, shh. - Full creative
control. That's what we talked about.
OK, OK, shh.
Camilla, you know camp policy.
I can't start
making exceptions...
I know, I know.
And you never have,
but this...
is different.
- Your mother's role?
- You said yourself
she would be proud.
I will allow the audition.
But she will be
treated like every other camper.
There is a process.
This is bullshit!
: Let me see! Move!
You two, I knew you were
gonna get them. I knew it!
- That is her.
- She's one of the cooks.
- Buddy!
- Congratulations.
Hey.
Who's gonna cover your shifts
when you're in rehearsal?
You are.
Roger took her and her twin brother
in after their mom was killed.
The night thee originated
the role of Thofia.
- What? That's impossible.
- No, it'th true.
Ten yearth ago thith thummer.
Thuper cool, right?
I'm surprised. I didn't know
you actually wanted to hang out
- with those...
- Those what?
Mom was a theatre geek.
Kylie Swanson slept
with so many people on Broadway
they called her
The Great White Lay.
They live in a fantasy world.
I don't want you
to get sucked in.
I'm not getting sucked in.
You people make me sick!
- Sound off
- One, two - Sound off
Three, four - When you come
to Center Stage, the show...
Mom, being in an enthemble
ith really thtrething me out.
Uh, Victor Brady, please.
It's about the showcase
at the camp.
This weekend.
Camp.
Yes.
Thank you.
Fuck me in the...
Never mind.
Congrats.
Thanks.
So, I guess now you owe me one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Welcome to
Limelight!
For those of you who are new,
I'm your stage manager,
David Martin.
I'm here to make sure that
the show goes on no matter what,
and I will do
whatever it takes.
Well, except go on stage -
I don't do that.
Hello, stage fright.
But backstage, make no mistake: I run
the space and you will feel my wrath.
J/K, I love you guys.
- Oh, my god!
- But there is a process,
and without further ado,
Herr Director.
Woo!
Woo!
What is at the heart ofHaunting?
- A love thtory about...
- It's about covering.
Covering up who you really are.
And isn't that the scariest
thing of all? That's why I'm
going to reinvent this entire
production and cover it
with a postmodern face.
Now, who can tell me...
what Japanese tradition
involves covering...
your face all in white?
Bukkake.
Kabuki?
And that is why my version
of Opera Ghost will wear
not just any mask,
but a kabuki mask.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
the new face of Opera Ghost.
Whitney?
OK, everybody. That's it.
Remember: off-book by Thursday.
Camilla, do you have a second?
I want to show you something.
Have a seat.
That was some performance
yesterday.
I'm just curious...
do you already know
who's gonna do which show?
The Broadway agents come on...
opening night, right?
Tension.
And release.
Cheers.
What?
Nothing.
Well, we have to kiss
in the show, right?
Yeah.
I don't want to take away
from the magic of the moment.
So, are you gonna tell me
who gets to go up opening night?
I'm just curious
about the process.
Well, I don't want to take away
from the magic of the moment.
We work, we slave
Preparing for opening night
Rehearse all day
It all must be
perfectly right
Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
I gotta run.
- Can't you just be late?
- It's unprofessional.
OK, good, let's take a break,
and let Oleg do his thing.
Mm-hmm.
It's Alfonso
But it's not meant to be
My destiny brings me here
To take my vow
Master, you may take me now!
- No, stop. Hold!
- Hold!
- Like you mean it.
- Ar-Ar-Artie,
I'm attracted to women, OK?
- Sure, Sam.
- But... but in this scene,
Opera Ghost is yearning
for his love.
And when he touches her, yeah?
Master, you may
take me now!
Amateurs!
Artie?
Why don't you show him on me?
OK, OK. I get it!
Let me try now. - Liz, why
don't you take a little break?
- What? I'm fine.
- Let's just go again.
I said take five.
Ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
This is all I ever wanted
I'm forever haunted
Hey, Camilla.
Bunk 10's doing an all-drag Stephen Schwartz
revue for evening activity tonight.
Wanna... go with me?
- Thanks, but I-I...
- I can't.
- Artie!
- Right.
Wait up!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Camilla,
can I have your autograph?
- She doesn't even go here. Ugh!
- What am I even talking to you?
You're not going to understand.
You're just an alto.
If that slut gets opening night,
my mother is going to kill me.
Aghhhh!
- Whoa.
- What?
I just...
I just don't think
we should, um...
I see.
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
How could
How could
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Known that you would
This is all I ever wanted
So, Mr. Getz, how's my show?
- I'm forever haunted
- Genius.
I'm a genius.
Which Sofia are you gonna use?
You leave the directing to me,
OK, Rog?
What about your Broadway friend,
the one we're supposed to impress?
Victor Brady. He's already, uh,
reserved his seats for opening night.
You leave the producing to me.
Victor Brady, please.
It's about the, uh...
How could I have
Known that you would
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
Must this be my sacrifice?
Look how she wants it
Look how she flaunts it
My dreams come true
But at what price?
Look at the woman
she's trying to be
Look how she wants him
Look how he wants her
I will never let him steal her
from me
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now I'm forever haunted
Not bad.
OK, people! See you tomorrow.
Check with David
for your call times, OK?
Hey.
So, have you decided yet?
Artie, stop. I...
I want to. I just...
I'm waiting for the right night.
Like when the show gets
picked up.
To Broadway.
And then we'll have
something to celebrate.
Oh, sweetheart.
I was beginning to think that maybe you
didn't have what it takes to be the lead.
Now I know for sure.
You don't.
Wait!
What?
Are you going to be mad
if I go back to my bunk now?
Are you gonna be mad if I put
Liz onstage tomorrow night?
Disgusting. Ugh.
No, but really,
it's a tough call.
Screw you!
I'll lock up! Psh.
Cam?
Cam, is that you?
Cam?
: Artieeeeee.
Is that you?
: Artieeeeee.
Ah!
- Break a leg!
- Ahhh!
: Hallelujah
Yeahhhhhhh!
- There has been an accident.
- I heard a light fell on him.
Cam. Camilla.
I heard his foot was ripped off.
What happened?
Bunk 8 campers found
Artie Getz in pieces
on the stage this morning.
Roger's calling it an accident,
but Sam's costume is missing.
Cam, do you think this is
connected to your mom?
What?
Maybe this show is cursed.
McCall tries to produce this
10 years ago
and his starlet is killed
on opening night.
He tries again,
and the director gets killed.
Maybe there's somebody out there
that really doesn't want him
to put on this play.
: Like I said before,
the sheriff is on his way.
I can make you this promise:
that whatever
that accident was,
it will not occur again.
Hey.
You OK?
I told you not to get
involved with their crowd
in the first place. - What does
that have to do with anything?
Nothing! I'm just saying, this summer,
ever since you decided to be in their show...
- I just thought
I should try it.
I think about Mom a lot,
and when I got my chance
and I was up there,
singing her songs,
for the first time in my life
I thought,
"Maybe this is what I'm
supposed to do".
I don't expect you to know
what I'm talking about.
I do.
I saw you rehearse.
You were good.
You think so?
Yeah.
Really good.
Right now I just want to leave.
This camp, the play, everything.
So let's go.
- No. No, no, no.
- David, control them.
I gotta call the sheriff.
I gotta call the sheriff!
Fuck. Fuck!
Ah! Oh.
Center Stage.
Who am I speaking with?
Victor Brady,
42nd Street Productions.
Who am I speaking with?
Oh, Mr. Brady. This is Roger
McCall. Thank you so much.
Yes, I do recall.
So, tell me about this showcase
you have planned.
We're revivingHaunting.
It is set in feudal Japan,
it is kabuki...
Did you say kabuki?
Uh...
Oh, that's a riot.
Yes, sir, what a riot!
But, sir, you'll be blown away
by this cast.
I need to talk to you.
Who's your Sofia?
I always felt that if Kylie Swanson
hadn't been killed that night,
the show would've run
a lot longer than it did.
Of course.
I agree.
But we have the perfect
successor: her daughter,
Camilla.
Tonight at eight?
My assistant has the address?
Yes, sir. Of course, sir.
Camilla, I think you need
to get some rest before
your big performance tonight.
Buddy and I are moving out.
Do you know
who was on that phone?
That was Victor Brady,
42nd Street Productions,
and he's coming tonight
to see you.
Well, he's just gonna have
to see Liz instead.
I know you're still shaken
about the accident...
No, it's not that. I just...
I've just realized that
this whole thing is not for me.
Camilla, what about everything
you've worked so hard on?
What about Artie?
What about him?
He wanted you to play Sofia.
He always did.
He told me so.
No, he didn't.
He did.
He told me...
he'd seen you transform
on that stage
as if you were meant
to be Sofia.
But, of course...
you get it
from your mother.
Take tonight.
Give Sofia one last chance.
I'm calling my mom back!
- No, no, please.
- No, no, no, no.
If I don't call my dad,
he is going to kill me!
- Get them down and get them to shut up.
- Quiet!
Quiet!
Thank you.
So, is Limelight cancelled?
You have a decision to make:
if you go in
and use that phone,
the show's over,
camp's over,
and you go home -
to your parents.
Unless!
Unless we wait.
One day.
Just one more day.
And we do the show,
as planned, tonight.
But...
isn't it wrong to sing and dance
- when someone just died?
- Yeah.
- Isn't that illegal?
- What about the sheriff?
Do you remember the first time
you ever saw a musical play?
Do you remember the first time
that you ever got swept away?
No matter what bad stuff
happened that day,
when that show was over,
you probably felt OK.
That's why
theatre has been around so long.
That's why we need
musical songs.
Sing a song, sing a song
when you're in pain
Musicals help you feel high
once again
Sing a song when things are
wrong, don't you fret
Melody's the remedy
to help you forget
From the ancient Greek stage
to today's modern age
Musicals mute out the wars
that we wage
When they made gunpowder,
we just sung louder
From Gilbert & Sullivan
to Rodgers & Hammerstein
Show tunes have shown up
to drown out the battle cries
And when the terrorists get
suicidal, we'll
Be just fine
'cause we have our own bible
We'll dig up our archives
and find a revival
We'll always need singing
and dancing
And whether it's Kander
and Ebb or Andrew Lloyd Webber
These musical treasures will
help us to weather
The horrors of war,
the more that goes wrong
The more that we need for
the show to carry on
Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting tonight's
leading lady,
Camilla Swanson!
When the enemy's on its way
The show must carry on
When they yell,
"Bombs away!"
The show must carry on
We lose soldiers every day,
what's a camper from the play?
The show must carry on!
When we made the decision
to follow our ambition
And come to Center Stage
for dance and song
We knew there'd be
obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
When we made the decision
To follow our ambition
We knew there'd be
obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
Shut your fucking face
Your musicals are
full of shit
Every single day
You people make me sick
You sound so lame, stuck
inside your stupid dream
You don't know pain
Now I'm gonna make you
screeeeeeeeam!
You're gonna fucking
screeeeeeeeam!
Shut your fucking face
Sing a song
Your musicals are full
of shit
Every single day
you people make me sick
- And the show must carry on
- Your musicals are full of shit!
Every single day
You people make me sick!
- Tonight! Tonight!
- Opening night
Toniiiiiiight
You sure about this?
I'm still gonna move out
with you - don't worry.
Is the prima donna ready?
I found ginger and lemon,
but no honey.
- Oh, I got us covered.
- Come on.
- Where's the stage manager?
- Right here, sir.
This is a real opportunity
for you to step it up.
We're all counting on you.
You take this show
all the way to the curtain call,
got it?
You got it.
David Martin to Joel.
Where are you, Joel?
Joel?
I wanna make sure you know
how to be your best, so:
throat coat. Performers' secret.
Before all your big solos,
for sure.
Honey. Just eat
the whole thing. Mmm.
Hey! You can't do the show
tonight.
Get out, Joel, we're warming up.
Cam, come on,
you have to listen to me OK?
There is a killer at this camp.
- Zeeeaaaayyyyy, ahhhh...
- Would you shut up?!
You're not listening.
Artie was killed.
Get out, Joel.
Warming up is, like,
really important!
Now, my vocal coach taught me
this trick.
You steam up the whole room,
and then you can come in here at any point in the
show and just, like, moisten your vocal cords.
Eeeeaaayyyy, eeeayyyyy, ahhhh!
Joel?
Nice!
Oh, awesome work, Whitney.
It's good as new. OK,
you can't be here
during the show.
I have a quick-change
and I need this area clear.
So, just do your janitor thing
somewhere else, all right?
OK, you're being really creepy.
So... haven't heard from you
in a while.
What's been happening at camp
this summer?
Tell me something.
Places, people. Places!
Ready to be scary and fabulous?
Fabulous.
Places! Places, people!
Excuse me.
Oh, Mr. Brady.
Mr. Brady, so glad
you could make it.
- Thank you for having me.
- Follow me.
Again, thanks for coming.
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Enjoy, enjoy!
Maestro to the pit,
Maestro to the pit.
- You gotta talk to me sometime.
- Shh.
We work, we slave,
preparing for opening night
Rehearse all day,
it all must be perfectly right
'Cause Teatro Firenze is
the greatest of opera stages
They spare no expenses
Except for our wages
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
The Ghost of the Opera!
He nearly killed me!
Behold!
Do you not hear
what I say?
Sofia will star in the play
All will obey
my instructions
Or fall prey
to repercussions
Yah pum da pim de pom,
yah pum da pim de pie
Hiyah!
See? You nailed it!
My master summons me
To dine with him tonight
He plans to ask my hand
in marriage
And he has every right
He's given me everything
He's given me
oh so very much
But when I think
of who I truly love
I'm reminded of the touch
of Alfonso
So tender, so strong,
so Alfonso
I pretend not to long
for Alfonso
The touch of Alfonso
So tender, so strong,
so Alfonso
I pretend not to long
for Alfonso
Though I know what's best
I need the caress
Of Alfonso
Whitney? This is a quick-
change for me, remember?
Ah, still can't see very well
in this thing.
Ah, thanks. Hey, did you hear
the crowd out there?
They were, like, all over me.
You know, David said that I...
Jeez. Whitney,
that thing is so wrong.
Nailed it!
How's that for a quick change?
Alfonso!
Pressed on his chest,
he's undressing my dress
With his breath
on my breasts
It's Alfonso
But it's not meant to be
my destiny
Master, you may take me now
Take me now!
Sam Brownstein to the stage.
Maestro.
Maestro!
Play something!
Play anything!
Sam!
Sam, where are you?
It's our scene.
Whitney? Hello?
Help!
Camilla?
There's a killer in the theatre.
There's a killer in the theatre.
Camilla, where are you?
There's a killer in the theatre!
- Yes, that is your line.
- Now go say it onstage!
Zeeeaaayyyy! Zeeeaaaayyyyy!
Zeeeaaaayyyy!
- You have to stop the show.
- No!
I gotcha.
Sam, what the hell
are you doing?
Eeeeaaaayyyy! Eeeeaaayyyy!
Ahh! Let me help you warm up!
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da,
da-da-da-da
Da, da, da!
Da-da-da
Ah!
You tried to run,
but you never could hide
Hey!
There's no escape now,
it's a knife for an eye
Hey, where you going, fat man?
Give you some slack
But you know I'll just
pull you right back, man
You've gone too far,
you never learn
You pushed me past the point
of no return
Come here~
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, de-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-um-dum, dum-dum-dum-dum-dum
Sit down!
Ahh, ahhhh, ahhhhh
Ahhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Ugh!
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Yeahhhhhhh!
Yeah! Yeah!
Stop!
Get out of here!
It's me! It's Cam.
I tried to keep you
out of it, Cam.
But you wouldn't listen.
It's OK.
- "It's gonna be great!
- You'll see. "
You wanted to do the show.
Well, this is the show!
Buddy.
Buddy, stop!
Buddy! Buddy, stop!
Buddy.
Buddy, please stop it!
- He killed Mommy.
- Did you know that?
- Camilla, don't listen to him!
- Why would I do such a thing?
Because she was cheating on you!
Guess who finally made it
tonight.
TheTimes?
Lawrence Gibbs is
absolutely in love with you.
How do you know?
Just spoke with him.
Congratulations, Mr. Producer.
Ah, Camilla,
that's... not... true.
It's true. Yeah, it's true.
You went onto the stage,
but I saw what you did!
Oh. Ah.
Larry, we can't.
He was just here;
he's gonna catch us.
I already caught you.
Roger?
Shhhh.
Camilla, he's lying! Stop him!
How could you never tell me...
...this whole time?
- I was scared.
- You shouldn't be here, Buddy.
I told you not to come in here,
but you didn't listen
and your mother had an accident
because you didn't listen!
Shh!
It's OK. It's OK.
I'll take care of it.
I'll clean it all.
Shh!
You behave!
I was scared this whole time.
Then good old Rog comes in
and announces the revival.
And you wanted
to dress up and be
just like Mommy, didn't you?
Well, me too!
I even got myself a costume.
That's when I realized
it was my fault.
Right, Rog?
I'm always making a mess.
Well, guess what, Rog?
I made a mess.
I made a big mess tonight!
- Just for you! Ha! Ha! Ha!
- Buddy!
Ah!
What else could I...
I gave you a...
Buddy! Stop...
Ugh!
Noooooo!
Buddy!
- I'll clean this up.
- I'll clean this up.
No!
Someone help me!
Help! Somebody!
Someone help me!
Is it over? Come on, let's go.
Liz Silver?
Ew! Oh.
You just needed to be
in the show, didn't you?
Well, go ahead, then. Sing.
Sing the damn aria!
Do it!
Must this be my sacrifice?
- It's still going on.
- Oh, there's more.
- My dream come true
- Get on! Sing louder!
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
Ah. Ah!
Help!
Help! Help me!
Ever wanted
Known that you would
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now, now, now, now, now, now.
Everything's OK. There. You OK?
You OK? You OK now?
You OK now? Yeah.
Ahhhhh.
That a girl.
There you go.
There you go.
Oh-ho-ho. Oh, Cammy,
- don't be silly. Put that down.
- No!
Put that down. I'm not gonna
hurt my little star.
I'm not gonna hurt my sweet
little Broadway star.
No!
My Sofia.
You give me that.
Why won't you give me that?
You are just like
your goddamn mother!
Ha! Ha! Haaaaaa!
Known that you would
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
- Bitch.
- Now I'm forever haunted
: Oh!
It's genius!
Wooo!
We are here for the opening night of the
Broadway revival ofThe Haunting of the Opera
and curtain is about to go up.
Now, it's been a year
since the Center Stage massacre.
What can you tell us?
Well, it's like I've said
to Camilla since day one:
you can't change the past.
As much as you may want to,
you can't.
But what you can do,
to move forward,
is to do just this:
a musical.
And if you don't do it,
someone else will.
Knock, knock!
Hey guess what?
The Times showed up,
and the President of the NYDCC.
Hey. You all right?
I'll be fine.
Atta girl.
Don't forget,
the party's tonight, OK?
We're gonna celebrate.
Sweetheart, you're gonna
be great. I know it.
Places!
Yeahhhhhhhh!
Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum,
duh-de-oh!
I'm gay, I'm gay,
but not in that way
Musicals move me and touch me
in ways I can't say
He's gay but not in that way
I sleep with women but
musicals make me feel gay
We're gay,
we're all kinds of gay
Write gay music for bedrooms
and musical plays
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na-na
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la
When the enemy's on his way
The show must carry on
When they yell,
"Bombs away!"
The show must carry on
We lose soldiers every day,
what's a camper from the play?
The show must carry on!
Na-na-na, na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na, na-na,
na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
The show must carry on
Na-na-na, na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Thank you for watching
the credits
Thank you for staying
this long
Now you can turn on your phone
and go back to your...
Wait, are you already home?
How are you seeing
this movie?
How are you hearing
this sound?
I hope you're not pirating,
pirating movies is stealing
And stealing is wrong,
it's just wrong
But it feels so right
I'm gonna pirate so much
hardcore shit tonight
'Cause I'm a pirate
Oooooooh!
Pirate
'Cause I'm a pirate
Ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh
Ohhh ohhh ohhh
Must this be my sacrifice?
My dream's come true,
but at what price?
Stand by, electrics 120.
Go.
Stand by, mist.
Look at your mother.
She's got great pipes
and she's fierce.
So fierce, I'm enchanted.
Electrics 130, go.
One-forty, go.
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now I'm forever haunted
: Bravo!
- Mommy, you were so good!
- Give me kisses.
- You're all sweaty.
- Then you get sweaty kisses.
- Ew!
- Be nice to your mother;
she's a big star now.
Your autograph, please,
Ms. Swanson?
Anything for my biggest fan.
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Guess who finally made it
tonight?
TheTimes?
Lawrence Gibbs is absolutely
in love with you.
That's great! That's great.
Congratulations, Mr. Producer.
You should get ready now,
my love.
- OK.
- Tonight, we celebrate.
- Should I take the twins?
- Sure.
OK, you go with Mr. McCall.
See you later.
Watch where you're goin',
little girl.
Hello?
Ah!
Very funny.
Where'd you get that?
You know you can't be
in here, right?
Better put that mask back,
or they'll have your head.
Oh, honey, we can't do this now.
I have to get dressed.
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Mmm. Oh.
Oh. Not now.
Ah.
Oh!
All of life's a song to sing
We're here, we're here,
we're finally here
The place where we can be ourselves
at least for once a year
The place where we can dance and
feel allowed to sing a song
Performing is our fantasy,
we're here where we belong!
- Hey, it's you
- Long time no see
What was your year like?
I got beaten up
a dozen times
For singing
Stephen Sondheim's rhymes
Those school bullies sound
awfully bad
What school bullies?
That was my dad Aw!
But thankfully
that's in the past
It's time to go sign up
for classes
Finally we're back
where we belong!
We've got costuming
and light design
And classes that help you
refine techniques
So you'll be sure to find
your true artistic voice
Whatever your abilities,
we've got the best facilities
Maintained by local hillbillies
who didn't have a choice
So many options,
so much to choose from
What to sign up for?
So much to improve on
Tho many thingth I'm working
on I've even made a litht
Diaphragm projecthion breathing
audienth connecthion theeking
If I wanna be a thtar
I gotta take more rithkth
Explore my inner narthithith,
emothional catharthith
To expreth mythelf
more clearly
I'm working on my lithp
Hm. Yeah, sure. OK.
We're here, we're here
We're here at Center Stage
The place where we can be ourselves
and no one calls us names
- They call me weirdo
- They call me freakshow
They call me sissy, puthy,
mushy mushy, homo
They call me very flitty, fairy,
fruity, flaming, bitchy, Liberace
- Floozy
- And a slew of other low-blows
All of us have heard these names of
hate, but let me get one thing straight
I'm gay, I'm gay,
but not in that way
Musicals move me and touch me
in ways I can't say
He's gay but not in that way
I sleep with women
But musicals make me
feel gay
I'm gay, I'm actually gay
I don't get hard
when I see T and A
Could be my DNA
Or how I was raised
We don't distinguish here
at Center Stage
We're all gay, we're gay
in all kinds of ways
Some in the bedroom
And some 'cause of
musical plays
- Ow, Sam, you're hurting me!
- Don't touch my hair!
We're here, we're here
- Yes!
- We're finally here
The place where we can be ourselves
at least for once a year
The place where we can dance and
feel allowed to sing a song
Where everyone is just like
me, that's where I belong!
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Little Mermaid, less singing,
more cooking.
It's time to feed the freaks.
Can't wait to get the hell out
of here for good.
- And do what?
- Make lots of money.
Start our own restaurant.
It's time to start thinking
about this stuff.
"I don't wanna think about it. "
Stop it.
"I want to live here
my whole life. "
- Stop it. Get away.
- Stop it!
What's going on here?
I got it.
I got it!
Did you make this mess?
What's the show this year?
Aha. It's gonna be a knockout.
Broadway agents,
Broadway scouts.
We're gonna be back in New York
before you know it.
What is it?
Your mother - God bless her -
would be proud.
You're good.
Break a leg.
Many years ago,
10, to be exact
I dreamed of a camp where kids could
come to learn to sing and act
No one thought it was possible,
they laughed behind my back
But it wouldn't be long
we'd prove them wrong
We're 10 years strong
in fact
Once I made the decision
to follow my ambition
And make a training ground
for dance and song
There were hardships
and obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
Woo!
Woo!
Campers and counsellors,
I believe that you will
agree with me
that after last summer's
bold musical re-imagining
of The Vagina Monologues,
this young man has
established himself
as the next Hal Prince.
Here he is now,
the director of this summer's
Limelight showcase,
Artie Getz!
Artie will be announcing
this summer's
Limelight production.
Haunting Of The Opera!
I think he thinks
it could help his career.
What career? He hasn't
produced anything in 10 years.
Well, if doing the play again
can help him
get back to New York,
that's a good thing.
- For all of us.
- You always seem to forget:
he's not our father.
Maybe I could even audition.
You actually wanna compete
with those theatre geeks?
Those kids aren't normal, Cam.
Look at them.
The entire musical theatre
canon is just begging -
begging! - for its themes
to be exploded outwards.
Watch, I bet he casts himself
as Alfonso.
Uh, for those of you wondering,
yes, I will be playing Alfonso.
Yep. - It's probably 'cause he
wants you to play Opera Ghost.
Or 'cause he wants to make out with me
again. - ... which is the very essence
of post-structuralism
in theatre today, and that's why
our production of Haunting...
will take place...
in feudal Japan.
- I'm not hearing anything.
- Itth brilliant.
Woo!
They're not gonna
let a cook steal a role from
a camper who pays to go here.
We're here, we're here,
we're finally here
The place where we can be ourselves
at least for once a year
We're here, we're here
I'm here
And I know you are here
Every time I sing
I feel you near
Now I have my song to sing
I'll sing with all my heart
I will sing just like you
I will get the part
Once I made the decision
to follow my ambition
And make a training ground
for dance and song
There were hardships
and obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
I will get the part
Shut your fucking face!
Alfonso
So tender, so strong,
so Alfonso
Do you not hear what I say
Sofia will star in the play
What's that say?
Sofia.
Bunk 23?
- Bunk 23?
- Ah!
Bunk 23.
Nice try.
- Oh, uh, they haven't updated the list yet.
- Save it.
I know you're one of the cooks.
I just want to audition.
- Can't let you do that.
- I could get into trouble.
No, no, you won't
get into trouble.
I'll tell them that I just snuck
by you and you didn't notice.
Yeah, like I wouldn't notice
a girl like you.
What's your name?
- Joel Hopton.
- Listen,
Joel...
if you do me this favour...
...I'll... I'll owe you one.
- Ms. Silver.
- Mr. Martin.
That it?
No! Um... me.
I've been dreaming,
wanting this moment
Now it's real,
I'm here at last
Everything just like
I imagined
But how did it happen
so fast?
I've been dreaming,
wanting to be here
I've been dreaming,
wanting to meet her
Watching from far
all of this time
Now it's real
but I mustn't lose her
I must make sure
she'll be mine
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
How could I have
Known that you would
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now I'm forever haunted
That girl!
Camilla!
What are you doing here?
Let's go, dinner's at 5.
Hey, Rog, a word? Hey.
Who's directing this show, huh?
We had a deal.
OK. Shh, shh, shh. - Full creative
control. That's what we talked about.
OK, OK, shh.
Camilla, you know camp policy.
I can't start
making exceptions...
I know, I know.
And you never have,
but this...
is different.
- Your mother's role?
- You said yourself
she would be proud.
I will allow the audition.
But she will be
treated like every other camper.
There is a process.
This is bullshit!
: Let me see! Move!
You two, I knew you were
gonna get them. I knew it!
- That is her.
- She's one of the cooks.
- Buddy!
- Congratulations.
Hey.
Who's gonna cover your shifts
when you're in rehearsal?
You are.
Roger took her and her twin brother
in after their mom was killed.
The night thee originated
the role of Thofia.
- What? That's impossible.
- No, it'th true.
Ten yearth ago thith thummer.
Thuper cool, right?
I'm surprised. I didn't know
you actually wanted to hang out
- with those...
- Those what?
Mom was a theatre geek.
Kylie Swanson slept
with so many people on Broadway
they called her
The Great White Lay.
They live in a fantasy world.
I don't want you
to get sucked in.
I'm not getting sucked in.
You people make me sick!
- Sound off
- One, two - Sound off
Three, four - When you come
to Center Stage, the show...
Mom, being in an enthemble
ith really thtrething me out.
Uh, Victor Brady, please.
It's about the showcase
at the camp.
This weekend.
Camp.
Yes.
Thank you.
Fuck me in the...
Never mind.
Congrats.
Thanks.
So, I guess now you owe me one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Welcome to
Limelight!
For those of you who are new,
I'm your stage manager,
David Martin.
I'm here to make sure that
the show goes on no matter what,
and I will do
whatever it takes.
Well, except go on stage -
I don't do that.
Hello, stage fright.
But backstage, make no mistake: I run
the space and you will feel my wrath.
J/K, I love you guys.
- Oh, my god!
- But there is a process,
and without further ado,
Herr Director.
Woo!
Woo!
What is at the heart ofHaunting?
- A love thtory about...
- It's about covering.
Covering up who you really are.
And isn't that the scariest
thing of all? That's why I'm
going to reinvent this entire
production and cover it
with a postmodern face.
Now, who can tell me...
what Japanese tradition
involves covering...
your face all in white?
Bukkake.
Kabuki?
And that is why my version
of Opera Ghost will wear
not just any mask,
but a kabuki mask.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
the new face of Opera Ghost.
Whitney?
OK, everybody. That's it.
Remember: off-book by Thursday.
Camilla, do you have a second?
I want to show you something.
Have a seat.
That was some performance
yesterday.
I'm just curious...
do you already know
who's gonna do which show?
The Broadway agents come on...
opening night, right?
Tension.
And release.
Cheers.
What?
Nothing.
Well, we have to kiss
in the show, right?
Yeah.
I don't want to take away
from the magic of the moment.
So, are you gonna tell me
who gets to go up opening night?
I'm just curious
about the process.
Well, I don't want to take away
from the magic of the moment.
We work, we slave
Preparing for opening night
Rehearse all day
It all must be
perfectly right
Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
I gotta run.
- Can't you just be late?
- It's unprofessional.
OK, good, let's take a break,
and let Oleg do his thing.
Mm-hmm.
It's Alfonso
But it's not meant to be
My destiny brings me here
To take my vow
Master, you may take me now!
- No, stop. Hold!
- Hold!
- Like you mean it.
- Ar-Ar-Artie,
I'm attracted to women, OK?
- Sure, Sam.
- But... but in this scene,
Opera Ghost is yearning
for his love.
And when he touches her, yeah?
Master, you may
take me now!
Amateurs!
Artie?
Why don't you show him on me?
OK, OK. I get it!
Let me try now. - Liz, why
don't you take a little break?
- What? I'm fine.
- Let's just go again.
I said take five.
Ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
This is all I ever wanted
I'm forever haunted
Hey, Camilla.
Bunk 10's doing an all-drag Stephen Schwartz
revue for evening activity tonight.
Wanna... go with me?
- Thanks, but I-I...
- I can't.
- Artie!
- Right.
Wait up!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Camilla,
can I have your autograph?
- She doesn't even go here. Ugh!
- What am I even talking to you?
You're not going to understand.
You're just an alto.
If that slut gets opening night,
my mother is going to kill me.
Aghhhh!
- Whoa.
- What?
I just...
I just don't think
we should, um...
I see.
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
How could
How could
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Known that you would
This is all I ever wanted
So, Mr. Getz, how's my show?
- I'm forever haunted
- Genius.
I'm a genius.
Which Sofia are you gonna use?
You leave the directing to me,
OK, Rog?
What about your Broadway friend,
the one we're supposed to impress?
Victor Brady. He's already, uh,
reserved his seats for opening night.
You leave the producing to me.
Victor Brady, please.
It's about the, uh...
How could I have
Known that you would
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
Must this be my sacrifice?
Look how she wants it
Look how she flaunts it
My dreams come true
But at what price?
Look at the woman
she's trying to be
Look how she wants him
Look how he wants her
I will never let him steal her
from me
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now I'm forever haunted
Not bad.
OK, people! See you tomorrow.
Check with David
for your call times, OK?
Hey.
So, have you decided yet?
Artie, stop. I...
I want to. I just...
I'm waiting for the right night.
Like when the show gets
picked up.
To Broadway.
And then we'll have
something to celebrate.
Oh, sweetheart.
I was beginning to think that maybe you
didn't have what it takes to be the lead.
Now I know for sure.
You don't.
Wait!
What?
Are you going to be mad
if I go back to my bunk now?
Are you gonna be mad if I put
Liz onstage tomorrow night?
Disgusting. Ugh.
No, but really,
it's a tough call.
Screw you!
I'll lock up! Psh.
Cam?
Cam, is that you?
Cam?
: Artieeeeee.
Is that you?
: Artieeeeee.
Ah!
- Break a leg!
- Ahhh!
: Hallelujah
Yeahhhhhhh!
- There has been an accident.
- I heard a light fell on him.
Cam. Camilla.
I heard his foot was ripped off.
What happened?
Bunk 8 campers found
Artie Getz in pieces
on the stage this morning.
Roger's calling it an accident,
but Sam's costume is missing.
Cam, do you think this is
connected to your mom?
What?
Maybe this show is cursed.
McCall tries to produce this
10 years ago
and his starlet is killed
on opening night.
He tries again,
and the director gets killed.
Maybe there's somebody out there
that really doesn't want him
to put on this play.
: Like I said before,
the sheriff is on his way.
I can make you this promise:
that whatever
that accident was,
it will not occur again.
Hey.
You OK?
I told you not to get
involved with their crowd
in the first place. - What does
that have to do with anything?
Nothing! I'm just saying, this summer,
ever since you decided to be in their show...
- I just thought
I should try it.
I think about Mom a lot,
and when I got my chance
and I was up there,
singing her songs,
for the first time in my life
I thought,
"Maybe this is what I'm
supposed to do".
I don't expect you to know
what I'm talking about.
I do.
I saw you rehearse.
You were good.
You think so?
Yeah.
Really good.
Right now I just want to leave.
This camp, the play, everything.
So let's go.
- No. No, no, no.
- David, control them.
I gotta call the sheriff.
I gotta call the sheriff!
Fuck. Fuck!
Ah! Oh.
Center Stage.
Who am I speaking with?
Victor Brady,
42nd Street Productions.
Who am I speaking with?
Oh, Mr. Brady. This is Roger
McCall. Thank you so much.
Yes, I do recall.
So, tell me about this showcase
you have planned.
We're revivingHaunting.
It is set in feudal Japan,
it is kabuki...
Did you say kabuki?
Uh...
Oh, that's a riot.
Yes, sir, what a riot!
But, sir, you'll be blown away
by this cast.
I need to talk to you.
Who's your Sofia?
I always felt that if Kylie Swanson
hadn't been killed that night,
the show would've run
a lot longer than it did.
Of course.
I agree.
But we have the perfect
successor: her daughter,
Camilla.
Tonight at eight?
My assistant has the address?
Yes, sir. Of course, sir.
Camilla, I think you need
to get some rest before
your big performance tonight.
Buddy and I are moving out.
Do you know
who was on that phone?
That was Victor Brady,
42nd Street Productions,
and he's coming tonight
to see you.
Well, he's just gonna have
to see Liz instead.
I know you're still shaken
about the accident...
No, it's not that. I just...
I've just realized that
this whole thing is not for me.
Camilla, what about everything
you've worked so hard on?
What about Artie?
What about him?
He wanted you to play Sofia.
He always did.
He told me so.
No, he didn't.
He did.
He told me...
he'd seen you transform
on that stage
as if you were meant
to be Sofia.
But, of course...
you get it
from your mother.
Take tonight.
Give Sofia one last chance.
I'm calling my mom back!
- No, no, please.
- No, no, no, no.
If I don't call my dad,
he is going to kill me!
- Get them down and get them to shut up.
- Quiet!
Quiet!
Thank you.
So, is Limelight cancelled?
You have a decision to make:
if you go in
and use that phone,
the show's over,
camp's over,
and you go home -
to your parents.
Unless!
Unless we wait.
One day.
Just one more day.
And we do the show,
as planned, tonight.
But...
isn't it wrong to sing and dance
- when someone just died?
- Yeah.
- Isn't that illegal?
- What about the sheriff?
Do you remember the first time
you ever saw a musical play?
Do you remember the first time
that you ever got swept away?
No matter what bad stuff
happened that day,
when that show was over,
you probably felt OK.
That's why
theatre has been around so long.
That's why we need
musical songs.
Sing a song, sing a song
when you're in pain
Musicals help you feel high
once again
Sing a song when things are
wrong, don't you fret
Melody's the remedy
to help you forget
From the ancient Greek stage
to today's modern age
Musicals mute out the wars
that we wage
When they made gunpowder,
we just sung louder
From Gilbert & Sullivan
to Rodgers & Hammerstein
Show tunes have shown up
to drown out the battle cries
And when the terrorists get
suicidal, we'll
Be just fine
'cause we have our own bible
We'll dig up our archives
and find a revival
We'll always need singing
and dancing
And whether it's Kander
and Ebb or Andrew Lloyd Webber
These musical treasures will
help us to weather
The horrors of war,
the more that goes wrong
The more that we need for
the show to carry on
Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting tonight's
leading lady,
Camilla Swanson!
When the enemy's on its way
The show must carry on
When they yell,
"Bombs away!"
The show must carry on
We lose soldiers every day,
what's a camper from the play?
The show must carry on!
When we made the decision
to follow our ambition
And come to Center Stage
for dance and song
We knew there'd be
obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
When we made the decision
To follow our ambition
We knew there'd be
obstructions
Those are part
of all productions
Still the show must
carry on!
Shut your fucking face
Your musicals are
full of shit
Every single day
You people make me sick
You sound so lame, stuck
inside your stupid dream
You don't know pain
Now I'm gonna make you
screeeeeeeeam!
You're gonna fucking
screeeeeeeeam!
Shut your fucking face
Sing a song
Your musicals are full
of shit
Every single day
you people make me sick
- And the show must carry on
- Your musicals are full of shit!
Every single day
You people make me sick!
- Tonight! Tonight!
- Opening night
Toniiiiiiight
You sure about this?
I'm still gonna move out
with you - don't worry.
Is the prima donna ready?
I found ginger and lemon,
but no honey.
- Oh, I got us covered.
- Come on.
- Where's the stage manager?
- Right here, sir.
This is a real opportunity
for you to step it up.
We're all counting on you.
You take this show
all the way to the curtain call,
got it?
You got it.
David Martin to Joel.
Where are you, Joel?
Joel?
I wanna make sure you know
how to be your best, so:
throat coat. Performers' secret.
Before all your big solos,
for sure.
Honey. Just eat
the whole thing. Mmm.
Hey! You can't do the show
tonight.
Get out, Joel, we're warming up.
Cam, come on,
you have to listen to me OK?
There is a killer at this camp.
- Zeeeaaaayyyyy, ahhhh...
- Would you shut up?!
You're not listening.
Artie was killed.
Get out, Joel.
Warming up is, like,
really important!
Now, my vocal coach taught me
this trick.
You steam up the whole room,
and then you can come in here at any point in the
show and just, like, moisten your vocal cords.
Eeeeaaayyyy, eeeayyyyy, ahhhh!
Joel?
Nice!
Oh, awesome work, Whitney.
It's good as new. OK,
you can't be here
during the show.
I have a quick-change
and I need this area clear.
So, just do your janitor thing
somewhere else, all right?
OK, you're being really creepy.
So... haven't heard from you
in a while.
What's been happening at camp
this summer?
Tell me something.
Places, people. Places!
Ready to be scary and fabulous?
Fabulous.
Places! Places, people!
Excuse me.
Oh, Mr. Brady.
Mr. Brady, so glad
you could make it.
- Thank you for having me.
- Follow me.
Again, thanks for coming.
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Enjoy, enjoy!
Maestro to the pit,
Maestro to the pit.
- You gotta talk to me sometime.
- Shh.
We work, we slave,
preparing for opening night
Rehearse all day,
it all must be perfectly right
'Cause Teatro Firenze is
the greatest of opera stages
They spare no expenses
Except for our wages
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
The Ghost of the Opera!
He nearly killed me!
Behold!
Do you not hear
what I say?
Sofia will star in the play
All will obey
my instructions
Or fall prey
to repercussions
Yah pum da pim de pom,
yah pum da pim de pie
Hiyah!
See? You nailed it!
My master summons me
To dine with him tonight
He plans to ask my hand
in marriage
And he has every right
He's given me everything
He's given me
oh so very much
But when I think
of who I truly love
I'm reminded of the touch
of Alfonso
So tender, so strong,
so Alfonso
I pretend not to long
for Alfonso
The touch of Alfonso
So tender, so strong,
so Alfonso
I pretend not to long
for Alfonso
Though I know what's best
I need the caress
Of Alfonso
Whitney? This is a quick-
change for me, remember?
Ah, still can't see very well
in this thing.
Ah, thanks. Hey, did you hear
the crowd out there?
They were, like, all over me.
You know, David said that I...
Jeez. Whitney,
that thing is so wrong.
Nailed it!
How's that for a quick change?
Alfonso!
Pressed on his chest,
he's undressing my dress
With his breath
on my breasts
It's Alfonso
But it's not meant to be
my destiny
Master, you may take me now
Take me now!
Sam Brownstein to the stage.
Maestro.
Maestro!
Play something!
Play anything!
Sam!
Sam, where are you?
It's our scene.
Whitney? Hello?
Help!
Camilla?
There's a killer in the theatre.
There's a killer in the theatre.
Camilla, where are you?
There's a killer in the theatre!
- Yes, that is your line.
- Now go say it onstage!
Zeeeaaayyyy! Zeeeaaaayyyyy!
Zeeeaaaayyyy!
- You have to stop the show.
- No!
I gotcha.
Sam, what the hell
are you doing?
Eeeeaaaayyyy! Eeeeaaayyyy!
Ahh! Let me help you warm up!
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da,
da-da-da-da
Da, da, da!
Da-da-da
Ah!
You tried to run,
but you never could hide
Hey!
There's no escape now,
it's a knife for an eye
Hey, where you going, fat man?
Give you some slack
But you know I'll just
pull you right back, man
You've gone too far,
you never learn
You pushed me past the point
of no return
Come here~
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, de-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-um-dum, dum-dum-dum-dum-dum
Sit down!
Ahh, ahhhh, ahhhhh
Ahhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Ugh!
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Yeahhhhhhh!
Yeah! Yeah!
Stop!
Get out of here!
It's me! It's Cam.
I tried to keep you
out of it, Cam.
But you wouldn't listen.
It's OK.
- "It's gonna be great!
- You'll see. "
You wanted to do the show.
Well, this is the show!
Buddy.
Buddy, stop!
Buddy! Buddy, stop!
Buddy.
Buddy, please stop it!
- He killed Mommy.
- Did you know that?
- Camilla, don't listen to him!
- Why would I do such a thing?
Because she was cheating on you!
Guess who finally made it
tonight.
TheTimes?
Lawrence Gibbs is
absolutely in love with you.
How do you know?
Just spoke with him.
Congratulations, Mr. Producer.
Ah, Camilla,
that's... not... true.
It's true. Yeah, it's true.
You went onto the stage,
but I saw what you did!
Oh. Ah.
Larry, we can't.
He was just here;
he's gonna catch us.
I already caught you.
Roger?
Shhhh.
Camilla, he's lying! Stop him!
How could you never tell me...
...this whole time?
- I was scared.
- You shouldn't be here, Buddy.
I told you not to come in here,
but you didn't listen
and your mother had an accident
because you didn't listen!
Shh!
It's OK. It's OK.
I'll take care of it.
I'll clean it all.
Shh!
You behave!
I was scared this whole time.
Then good old Rog comes in
and announces the revival.
And you wanted
to dress up and be
just like Mommy, didn't you?
Well, me too!
I even got myself a costume.
That's when I realized
it was my fault.
Right, Rog?
I'm always making a mess.
Well, guess what, Rog?
I made a mess.
I made a big mess tonight!
- Just for you! Ha! Ha! Ha!
- Buddy!
Ah!
What else could I...
I gave you a...
Buddy! Stop...
Ugh!
Noooooo!
Buddy!
- I'll clean this up.
- I'll clean this up.
No!
Someone help me!
Help! Somebody!
Someone help me!
Is it over? Come on, let's go.
Liz Silver?
Ew! Oh.
You just needed to be
in the show, didn't you?
Well, go ahead, then. Sing.
Sing the damn aria!
Do it!
Must this be my sacrifice?
- It's still going on.
- Oh, there's more.
- My dream come true
- Get on! Sing louder!
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
This is all I ever wanted
Now I'm forever haunted
Ah. Ah!
Help!
Help! Help me!
Ever wanted
Known that you would
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
Now, now, now, now, now, now.
Everything's OK. There. You OK?
You OK? You OK now?
You OK now? Yeah.
Ahhhhh.
That a girl.
There you go.
There you go.
Oh-ho-ho. Oh, Cammy,
- don't be silly. Put that down.
- No!
Put that down. I'm not gonna
hurt my little star.
I'm not gonna hurt my sweet
little Broadway star.
No!
My Sofia.
You give me that.
Why won't you give me that?
You are just like
your goddamn mother!
Ha! Ha! Haaaaaa!
Known that you would
Take all I ever had,
all I ever knew
All I ever dreamed of
came true
- Bitch.
- Now I'm forever haunted
: Oh!
It's genius!
Wooo!
We are here for the opening night of the
Broadway revival ofThe Haunting of the Opera
and curtain is about to go up.
Now, it's been a year
since the Center Stage massacre.
What can you tell us?
Well, it's like I've said
to Camilla since day one:
you can't change the past.
As much as you may want to,
you can't.
But what you can do,
to move forward,
is to do just this:
a musical.
And if you don't do it,
someone else will.
Knock, knock!
Hey guess what?
The Times showed up,
and the President of the NYDCC.
Hey. You all right?
I'll be fine.
Atta girl.
Don't forget,
the party's tonight, OK?
We're gonna celebrate.
Sweetheart, you're gonna
be great. I know it.
Places!
Yeahhhhhhhh!
Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum, duh-
de-dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum-dum
Dum-dum, duh-de-dum-dum,
duh-de-oh!
I'm gay, I'm gay,
but not in that way
Musicals move me and touch me
in ways I can't say
He's gay but not in that way
I sleep with women but
musicals make me feel gay
We're gay,
we're all kinds of gay
Write gay music for bedrooms
and musical plays
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
All of life's a song to sing
So sing with all your heart
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na-na
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la
When the enemy's on his way
The show must carry on
When they yell,
"Bombs away!"
The show must carry on
We lose soldiers every day,
what's a camper from the play?
The show must carry on!
Na-na-na, na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na, na-na,
na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
The show must carry on
Na-na-na, na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na
Thank you for watching
the credits
Thank you for staying
this long
Now you can turn on your phone
and go back to your...
Wait, are you already home?
How are you seeing
this movie?
How are you hearing
this sound?
I hope you're not pirating,
pirating movies is stealing
And stealing is wrong,
it's just wrong
But it feels so right
I'm gonna pirate so much
hardcore shit tonight
'Cause I'm a pirate
Oooooooh!
Pirate
'Cause I'm a pirate