Status: It's Complicated (2013) Movie Script

Okay. Okay. I'll see you tonight. Bye.
Later, okay?
I'll text you.
I'll text you.
Thank you, Lord, for the good looks.
- Ma'am, sir, Yvonne will take care of your order.
- Okay.
Sure.
Yes, Yvonne? What do you suggest?
Ma'am and sir, I would like to
recommend you our aphrodisiac special.
For starters,
Slow roasted tomato salad
with asparagus and black olives.
For dessert,
strawberry dipped
in deep dark devilish chili chocolate.
- We'll have that.
- All that!
Thank you.
My hips had enough!
No pain, no gain!
You want to lose weight, right?
If only boys know how we
suffer just to get their attention!
Oh, please! Do it for yourself.
Don't do it for them.
You owe it to yourself to be healthy!
Drop the hands down the oor.
Left leg fold.
- Broaden your shoulders.
- Healthy? Whatever!
At least, I'm honest.
I can endure all of these!
Just to snare a boyfriend,
-a soul mate, true love!
- Hey.
Is there still true love?
Even taho vendors don't believe
in that anymore!
Will you just concentrate!
Excuse me.
- Where's our order?
- Coming, ma'am.
Hands come to prayer
to your mind and heart center
Be well and be good. Namaste.
Namaste.
Excuse me. I'd just like
to follow up our order.
Corning, ma'am. Corning.
Okay. Game!
Hey girl. Mario texted.
- Mario?
- Yes.
His exhibifs opening.
Oh, Mario! Your cousin who's a triathlete
slash sculptor slash Cosmo Hunk!
You know, he's cute!
But he always makes a pass at me!
- Want to come?
- I'm up for it but I have to go home before twelve.
- Hi!
- Ate Jane's here!
You know what?! You look like
you're looking for a band!
Boom boo room boom boom!
Silly! I just came from the furniture store.
This is so heavy.
I should've left this at home.
Let's go eat?
- Buffet!
- I won't say no to that!
You'll just waste our workout?!
You'll give in for buffet?!
Namaste.
Ma, you turned me into a babysitter!
As if I don't have a job!
Oh! So you think this isn't a job?
Not a serious job?!
Ma, even if I don't wear a tie, long sleeves,
time-in time-out in Makati
from nine to five day-in day-out
doesn't mean this isn't a serious job!
I manage my own time. Yes!
I am my own boss! Yes!
My business is a graphic studio
and not a day care!
Here we are.
Wait. Does Dennis even know
how to wash his ass?!
Yes?
Mr. lzon?
Fine, ma. I'll be there by five.
No. No.
We'll just stop by a drive thru.
Yes?
- What can I do for you?
- Sylvia Alviar.
You look better than
what they said about you.
- That's why I don't listen to gossips.
Jnteresting?
- Interesting!
-I have a job for you.
Oh, I guess it's not interesting.
I'll pay you 250,000 pesos.
Now, it's interesting!
Where do you get your haircut?
Your hair looks really good!
I only had it blown by the electric fan.
I'm a fashion designer and I would like
for you to setup a website for me.
You're also a web designer, right?
- Right.
- I want it to look creative.
More interactive, if you can do that.
Aside from featuring my designs,
I want to have --
Do you really have brown eyes?
Inner is brown. Outer is gray.
Anyways, here's my calling card.
You can come to my shop
so we can discuss the details.
Sure!
- I love details!
- Me too.
- So I'll see you?
- I'll see you.
- Excuse me.
- Ma'am?
- Come here.
-ls our order coming yet?
We're hungry. We're getting pale!
And the oysters, are you still
in the process of catching them?
Because they don't even have feet, right?
Ma'am, sir, I'll just check the kitchen!
Thank you.
Where's their order?!
Sir, coming, sir!
No shouting. No whining.
No touching of my things.
Clean up your own mess.
Clean up your own room.
Clean up your own toys.
Eat when I tell you to eat.
Drink when I tell you to drink.
And sleep when I tell you to sleep.
Understand?
- I thought I'm going to a bachelor's pad!
Tums out, it's a convent!
You're worse than mommy!
The cleaning lady only comes once a week!
So nastiness is not allowed.
Try messing the house and I'll put you on a
sack and leave you lost in Edsa!
What am I?! A cat?!
I'm serious, Dennis.
My house, my rules.
Promise, kuya! I won't be a burden.
Just give me your wifi's password.
And wifi has time limit!
This is so corny!
Kuya! ls your pool still open?
- And why?
- Come on! Let's go for a night swimming!
Dennis! Dennis!
Dennis!
Kuya Manny!
Dennis!
Dennis! You kid --
Just 5 minutes! Wait!
-5 minutes!
- Go! Go!
Sorry, it's - It's Dennis.
Manuel's unbelievable!
Why don't he just rub it on a wall?!
Girls are tastier than a wall!
I only haven't seen you in a month
and this is what happened to you!
Nice, huh?
Nice!
- Nice, you say!
- Ouch!
KJ (killjoy)!
Now, I'm the KJ one?
Bad trip! Wrong timing!
I already unhooked the strap! I'm almost there!
What is this hobbit doing here?!
Mom called to take him with me for a vacation.
Ouch. My tongue hurts.
- She bit it?
- Yes, she did!
Did she say why?
Our relatives came home.
They're from the US.
It's crazy there.
It's too crowded!
So it means this brat will stay with us?
That's right!
It would've been okay if I'm the only one
living here but the problem is you're here!
What kind of moral values will he learn?
And who's going to stay with him?
We're always out.
That's you. Not me.
Why is that?!
I'm suspended again, bro!
Again?!
Me and Yvonne--!
We're not doing anything wrong!
We're just cooking!
What were you cooking?
What else? A feast from God!
You're both talking silly!
Look at what my brother's getting from you!
Hey, wait, wait. Let's drink tonight!
- That's final, okay!
- Okay, Let's go!
Come on.
Is that what you call art?
I can do that myself!
Then why didn't you do it?
Jerry hasn't said yes!
- Mario!
- Hey, Jinky!
Thank you for coming!
Gentlemen, this is my friend, Rina.
And this is my cousin, Mario.
Yeah. This is Jerry.
He's a graphic artist.
This is Manny.
- He's a chef.
- No. Manny here.
Hi. This is my brother, Dennis.
Hello.
You're so cute!
Your exhibit's successful!
I see you've already sold a lot.
So treat us out!
Sure!
Where do you want to go?
He said, where do you want to go, Rina?
- Anywhere!
- Wait. Where have you been?
We went to yoga then we ate out.
- Oh, okay.
- We're also into that!
Yoga?
Oh, eating!
Actually, we're balanced.
We're also into exercise.
Really? So what do you do for fitness?
Well, I run.
He runs after girls.
No.
Girls run after me.
- Yes!
- I knew it.
- What?
- Oh, I mean
you're fit! Maybe that's why you run fast.
Well, actually, I'm fast about everything.
Want to see a sample?
Maybe.
What's your number?
Wait. I'm still thinking about it.
You know what? You don't need to
think about things such as that.
Just give it.
Which one?
Your number.
Oh, I'm still thinking where should
Mario take us for a treat!
Now, you're embarrassed!
Good morning, Aling Baday!
Aling Baday, you don't have to pretend.
I know you love seeing naked man's body!
Is that what you call naked?!
You have towel on!
- Towel, you said, Aling Baday?
- Oh, please!
I can take it off.
- I just have to cut it from your salary.
- I don't have a budget for that!
Aling Baday, have you seen my t-shirt
with red, white and blue stripes?
Red, white and blue stripes?
I think I just saw it last week.
You haven't worn that one?
Not yet. Please find it for me.
Manuel!
Manuel!
Manuel!
Manuel! You!
Good morning, brother!
How do you want your eggs?
With a scratch?
Scratch your own eggs!
You know what, Manuel?! You're the kind of person
who doesn't know how to tell the truth!
And you're a wuss!
But I will still ask you this even if
I know you never tell the truth!
Even if I know I'm just wasting
my time and my saliva!
Did you use my t-shirt or not?
Answer now!
It fits me perfectly,
It's loose within the armpit area.
Manuel, I should have worn that first!
Actually, you know what?
That t-shirt is bad luck!
I was wearing that one when Yvonne
and I got caught in the kitchen!
Now, it's my fault you got
caught in the kitchen?!
Son of a gun!
Even if you wear an alb,
you'd still hook up with chicks.
It's okay to hook up with chicks
rather than the Meralcds post!
But why do you always end up a mess?!
We're used to borrowing things, right?
- We share everything! We're friends!
- We share everything! But all of it is mine!
You share my everything,
I share your nothing!
Damn! Share everything my ass!
I let you borrow my chicks!
But you're being a snob.
Our neighbors are spreading gossips about you,
they said you're gay!
You're dragging me again
into your filthy life!
You know what they say,
an open-minded person knows no filth!
Oh My! It's too early for love quarrel!
Oh, Aling Baday, it's really difficult
to raise a friend indeed!
Good morning!
- Good morning!
Breakfast!
Here! We have bread!
Hotdog! Good thing bread has a big hotdog!
I'm not saying you're a wuss!
What's the problem?!
You're louder than a videoke!
Same old problem!
My friend here is jobless once again!
Come to think of it!
While he's rolling the pizza dough,
he's busy seducing the
head waitress in the kitchen!
Good thing, I don't eat in that restaurant!
I might end up swallowing things
God knows what!
There are lots ofjobs out there for me!
I could be a callboy (gigolo)!
I could be your pimp!
I know some cougars out there!
You see, Jerry?!
Let me tell you this, good looking guys
like us are called children of God!
And good looking guys like me
would easily find a job!
You mean if you're talking about a girl!
Look at those lips! They seem calloused!
Look at it! Look!
You're crazy!
- You're crazier!
- Update me if you decide to be a gigolo!
So I could save money right away!
'Fime to wash clothes!
I really haven't gotten into a mess,
you know!
Jerry, what do you really want me to do?
Wait for a woman to love and behold?
Dude, that's Florante and Laura's time!
The latest trend today is having a women database.
You know what? If you end up in hell,
I won't ever pray for you!
If you end up sick, dude,
I won't ever have you treated!
You always do stupid things!
Pile of chicks!
What will you get from it?
Not only do I get the thigh!
Lips, breast, tummy, groin!
I'm used to it, bro!
I'll get sick if I only have one girlfriend!
What am I?! A has-been?!
Obsolete? Out-of-d ate?
Do I look like a Thesaurus?
Don't involve me with your kind of style!
You're missing out, Jerry!
That would be my t-shins!
Take this! It smells like Clorox!
Bro, seriously speaking,
No love life, no sex life equals nada!
Wrong!
No work equals no money equals nada!
What is that?!
Youjizz.com
And why are you watching that?!
Give me that!
Kuya Manny let me borrowed it.
He doesn't have games.
Will you download Temple Run
or Candy Crush for him?!
Come here!
Have you seen Maria Ozawa?
She's my type too!
But I haven't seen Sasha Grey yet!
What's happening here?!
My youngest brother is now a maniac?!
Oh, come on, kuya Jerry!
I'm used to that!
Daddy lets me borrow his too!
Fine! Fine! Fine!
Go eat your breakfast
so you'll go big and strong!
Bro, I was thinking,
we're used to wearing each other's clothes!
Just you!
What if we switch our lifestyles?
So we'll find out who's right.
You're full of shit!
Have you mistaken life for a t-shirt?
That you can wear it again
after having it washed?
After you've lent it?
I won't last long with your lifestyle anyway.
One woman at a time?
It won't do well for me.
Your style now, Manny, is a babysitter!
Because I'm the only one working here!
Why don't you take my brother out?
He seems restless.
Okay.
Dennis!
- Get dressed!
- Where are we going?
Into a cave!
Okay-
Where do you get those lovely eyes
that pretty lady
And that exciting Winsome smile
this binibini
Tender juicy!
And who are you?!
Jerry lzon.
Jerry lzon.
He's hot but he has big nostrils!
She's the perfect symbol of the people,
Rich in heritage and love,
I'm Mimi, by the way.
Named after Mimelanie Marquez!
One of the most beautiful
Miss International of all time!
Because I'm long-legged!
Come here, Jerry.
- Wait! Wait!
-pretty, captivating, so exciting
These girls will surely win your heart,
- Jerry lzon!
- Wait!
Wait. Wait a minute.
Wait!
Wow! What a strong material!
Don't worry. I don't eat meat!
I'm not a carnival!
I'm not here to give my measurements.
I'm here to talk to Ms. Sylvia Alviar.
No! It's fine, papi!
I'll get your measurements for future references.
Jerry, why don't you drag me
at the terrace and rape me!
- Sylvia!
- Mimi!
Don't judge me! I'm not a book.
Your friend, Jerry.
Hi, Jerry.
Okay, Jerry. Both of you have
something to talk about.
Delicious!
Jerry, Jerry!
I only want a simple thing for you to do!
If you can't respect me as your wife,
respect me as your friend!
And if not,
respect me as a person!
Vilma Santos!
Relasyon (Filipino movie).
Directed by Ishmael Bemal.
Is it always like this?
Yes. Free show.
By the way, are these the clothes we're promoting?
Yeah. Are you still interested?
Of course.
That's more colorful than designing
a website full of hollow blocks.
Anyways, about the payment arrangement?
Spot cash, right?
50% when I approve your design,
and the other 50% when you
have uploaded the site.
So when will you finish the site?
Maybe this weekend.
Yeah. That's fine.
Then take me out on a date.
Let's make that my commission.
Sure!
You might need a chaperon!
No!
You're right! I'm busy!
Come in, sir. Ma'am is in the garden.
- Come on, puppies!
- Hey, dogs!
Good evening.
'Hi!
'Hi!
Flowers.
You bought it at our living room.
You look familiar!
Batman?
How are you, Dennis?
- Chocolates.
- Thank you.
Cupcakes.
- Thank you.
- Marriage?
- No, thanks.
Go ahead, you're done with your comedy.
Go play with the dogs.
Come on. Let's go to the swing.
Let's go.
Have a seat.
I'm actually training Dennis.
Better teach him early.
So he won't grow up a wuss.
Is that a philosophy in life?
Philosophy of the heart!
According to the Bible, fifth edition,
10% of the people train their brains.
But some of them don't have
proper training for their hearts.
Wow. That's really nice!
What chapter is that?
Heart and life act as one, right?
If your heart is stupid,
your life is zero!
For instance, my friend, Jerry.
He learned to wear shoes
when he was already in high school.
If your heart doesn't know how to love,
understand, forgive,
accept somebody's love for them,
All of it will go through experimentation,
training and exercise!
- Did you come here to exercise?
- Am I right or wrong?
How about you? To where are tuning in now?
To your heart or to your brain?
According to Alice in Wonderland,
fifty-fifth edition,
your brain is in your head to be followed.
Because if your heart is in your head,
you'll have a migraine everyday.
What if you like a guy,
which one beats more?
Your heart or your brain?
- My heart. But I'm still using my brain.
-But how?
For an instance, I like this guy who's not worth it
My brain will say stop!
But my heart will say go,go,go!
Your heart has reasons that your
brain couldn't understand.
Your brain has reasons
that's no longer a territory of your heart.
Whatever you feel in your brain,
can also be felt by your heart.
Life will be complicated if
you follow your brain over your heart.
Wrong priorities!
You know a lot of things, huh?
Hi!
Hi.
I'm just practicing, in case there's a target,
- Direct hit in an instant!
- By the way, this is my brother, Dennis.
Hi!
Kuya, I'll just go there.
Be careful.
Seems like it's too risky to go here,
I might tum into a target.
Don't you like it?
It's fine but, isn't it better if I'm the one
to decide, if I'll be a target or not?
Oh boys, You thought you're the ones
who'll shoot the target but no,
we are.
Just as I thought, why don't you teach me,
make it a fair game.
Sure.
Okay-
Hold it like this.
Which one?
The arrow.
- Then, stretch the --
- What?
The string.
Then, release and hit.
Where?
There! On the target.
Wait. I'm confused.
Go ahead!
Oh! Oh My!
Manny's a lot better!
Always a bull's eye!
Here. My concept is,
Clothes are like foods.
Food should be laid out in such a way
that you want to eat it.
Same thing for clothes,
it should be laid out in such a way
that you want to wear it. So here.
That's very interesting,
very alluring, and charming.
I'm talking about the layout.
So am I.
If only he's kuya Manny,
they're probably in the bedroom by now.
So, tell me about yourself.
Me? Not much.
I took fine ans,
one year in Italy, did observations,
and went back here. Then, my father forced me
to help him take charge of our pineapples in Silang.
But, I refused. I told him,
I want to have my own graphics studio.
So, I borrowed money from the bank, from my
relatives and friends. Manuel, my generous friend.
He would issue a check for me
even late at night,
I always resist to be an employee,
so I can be my own boss.
Here I am, thank God!
Financially ruined.
Same pattern as mine.
I studied here,
then, one year abroad.
Studied in New York then in Paris.
That's where I got all the sin in the world.
In Paris, I didn't do anything but
to party here, party there.
I can beat Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton,
combined.
And then, I got bored.
I went back here.
By that time, Aunt Cleotilde died.
She left me her fashion label
because I'm her favorite niece.
I couldn't do anything so I agreed.
Thank God, it's being neglected.
Manila is so boring!
So much talking, nothing's happening!
What are you cooking?
Boiled egg without egg yolk, skinless chicken,
fish without fats, shrimp.
Fck! Everything's tasteless!
Bro, I'm just concerned with your waistline.
I've noticed your tummy's getting bigger!
And there you are, with your perfect body
being mistaken as a 'bufa'!
'Bufa'? What's that?
A buffed gay (bakla in Tagalog), buffgay!
Oh, never mind! I'm upgrading you, bro.
We'll eat this everyday
until your six packs appear.
You know Jerry,
I'm praying every morning saying that,
Lord, thank you for making me handsome,
and not a shrimp like my gym mates.
What do you mean shrimp?
A shrimp, useless head,
a perfect body with an ugly face.
What about a beautiful face
with an unattractive body?
That's what we call lollipop.
You? What type of chick do you want?
A lollipop or a shrimp?
Lollipop! It tastes good!
Me too. How about you, Jerry?
Shrimp or lollipop?
- Lollipop.
-Why?
I'm allergic with shrimps.
What do you call a shrimp who covers her
face with too much make-up?
- I know that.
- What?
Tempura!
Jerry!
This is a new beginning for you.
I'll motivate you
and we'll never stop until you become me.
Would I like that?
You can do it! Go! Go! Go!
We'll never stop until
you're full of abs!
Well, kuya has full
of ebs (slang word for poop)!
Whatever! You're a fool of shit!
You know what, Jerry! You're such a waste!
You're a handsome man,
if you're facing the opposite direction.
Pray to the Lord that
you won't be such a wuss anymore!
How's your girlfriend?
The thin one?
Sylvia? She's not my girlfriend.
But she's not thin!
Isn't she thin enough for you?
I dare you, if it rains,
she won't get hit by the raindrops.
Well, yeah. There was a time when she's
facing askew, I thought she's a plywood.
Add sugar, and we already
have an otap (thin bread)!
One time, she faced side view and
went missing!
I'll make you eat this dumbbells!
That girl calls the house
a thousand times a day!
As if she had just got out
of the correctional.
Here's the catch,
I'll give you a week,
If you haven't gotten her still,
I'll take over!
I'm in!
- Hey!
- That child's better than you!
Your being a show-off!
Go there and do bench-press!
How about the Yogi Bear you've been wooing?
Still can't take off her chastity belt?
You're nothing, bro! You're obsolete!
Those G.R.O. in Burgos are
the only ones you can date!
Obsolete, you say?
Try this, ma'am, sir.
Excuse Miss. Miss,
is this for men or women?
For bisexual, ma'am, sir!
Is that so?!
Miss, don't you have anything for men,
for straight men?
Ma'am, sir, I'll just check.
Oh, sorry Mrs., I mean Miss!
I'm sorry. My brother has poor eyesight.
But, why is he wearing shades?
He was born like a bat, that's why
he's scared of the light!
Take that off! Now, you ran over Miss...
Marian David.
- Jerry lzon.
- Hello.
Dennis, say hello to Miss David.
Hello! How are you?
Excuse me.
Don't be too frisky, okay?
Looking for what?
Do you want to try something?
Well, this is an optical shop.
Why? Do you already have poor eyesight?
You're still young. Let me take a look.
No. I'm just checking out eyeglasses.
My eye grade has increased
because of my tiring work.
- You repair gadgets?
- No.
Are you a doctor?
Specialist in heart transplant?
Specialist in graphic design,
and desk publishing.
I create websites, newspapers, magazines,
and posters and also streamers.
You work with models?
Sometimes.
Do you sleep with them, before,
during or after the modeling job?
How frequent?
How do you start with the seduction?
- Or maybe...
- No. No, there's no such thing.
Oh really? I have a job for you.
You might be interested.
I want you to layout
my sex education manual I've made.
Of course, for education!
For sex, you mean.
Have you got a calling card?
I'll see you, sooner than you think.
We'll talk about this
and other things.
Sir, ma'am, sir. Are you going to get this?
Let me check first.
Okay, is there an ATM nearby?
The machine?
No, the one with a human inside.
How stupid.
Inhale.
Hands come to prayer, to your mind,
and to your heart's center.
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
- You go ahead.
- Okay.
Are you lost, Mr. Roxas?
Indeed, lost to noun you.
Hey, relax! I'm looking for a job.
Anything wrong with that?
Let's have snack, your treat.
Okay. You're tired because of Yoga again.
My sister will pick me up.
You're too old-fashioned!
Let me guess.
Yoga, love birds, chaperone,
home by twelve midnight.
Perhaps when you're taking a bath,
you still have you're shirt on.
What do you like in a girl?
In just one poke,
she'll down to everything?
Defensive stunts.
Hands down, pants down. Like that?
Don't get irritated!
Blame Yoga, you're being self righteous!
I have a friend working in public relations.
Now, she's become a loner because of Yoga.
Now, you're blaming Yoga!
What is this all about, Mr. Roxas?
Are you going to court me or
you just want to score?
- Are we talking about scoring?
- Hi, hello!
Is it about score we're talking about?
If there's such thing, this is it!
Bull's eye!
You had insulted me and now, my sister.
Hello!
Let's go, ate.
Thank you, Mr. Bull's Eye.
Bye.
I can't understand you!
Are you a man or a woman?
Thank you.
Jerry, if you can't understand me until now,
there's really something wrong with you!
Are you sure you studied in Italy or you just
hid in the convent of St. Francis of Assisi?
Well, all your involvements were masculine.
So what?
Everything now is unisex, Jerry.
It's everyone's game, pick a wild card!
When were you born?
Was it just yesterday or the other day?
Jerry, I need to talk
to your very good friend!
A matter of life and death!
His death!
Why? What did Manny do this time?!
Aside from the usual?
The usual!
What do you mean?
"M Pregnant!
That's too much!
What?! You're pregnantl?
Yes! You're not the one pregnant! It's me!
Stupid, Manny! Why did he do thatl?
Why do men do those things they do?
Because they like it!
Jerry, come on!
I'm already delayed for monthly!
Monthly what?
Never mind! Where's your friendl?
He's in Baguio!
Don't dare fool me! I'll go after him!
But he's nice.
Mario, Mario, Mario!
Mario, meet Yvonne. Yvonne, this is Mario.
- Hello!
- Mario, will you go with her outside?
I'll go tell Manny the good news.
Mario, take care of her, okay?
- Yvonne, congratulations!
- Baguio, my ass!
See what I mean?
Now, what's your problem?
Your eyebrows are all mixed up!
Yvonne is pregnant.
So, what's the problem with that?
- Congratulations! You'll be a father soon.
- Son of fifty condoms!
Bro, it's not a good joke!
Beer!
I've already prepared you this.
Bro, she's bluffing!
I know Yvonne!
You know her too!
She's having her screw loose!
It's not the screw you've gotten loose though!
Is that a manly thing to do?!
What? To knock up women?
Of course!
Isn't it?!
No! I mean, what you did to Yvonne!
You're not serious with her but you still did it!
There! She looks determine!
She's been shouting you have to marry her!
You're crazy! That won't happen!
I'm allergic with weddings!
Get used to it!
Daddy
Mr. Bull's Eye! You're here! I'm going out.
I'm volunteering to be your escort.
For this day, this month or until
the end of the world if you'd like that.
I'd rather ride a pedicab.
My motorcycle is in the garage.
But my car is only outside.
Peace?
I'm not saying anything yet.
Wait, let me carry your bag.
Suits you!
Why don't you carry Tabeta Joe as well?
She's quite heavy right? Because she
went through nervous eating last night.
So, are we okay?
I'm not saying anything yet.
Okay-
A nanny?
Nanny for a day!
Oh My! This is exactly what
ate Jane wants! This is it!
She wants to remodel this.
- So beautiful!
- So beautiful!
What's this? New old or an old new?
- Miss, can you have it delivered today?
- Yes.
Okay, I'm going to use credit card.
Come on.
We're like riding on a luxury liner.
Is this a luxury liner for you?
Full of bumps and grinds.
That's what you're into, right?
That's delicious!
As long as it's dark.
You can't have everything.
Well, I don't want everything in life.
I just want an honest
to goodness date with you.
You're faster than this truck, huh?
This truck runs 50 miles per hour.
Well, that's dangerous.
They say if you're too fast, you might crash.
If I'm going to crash to a
beautiful thing, why not?
- You're being arrogant.
- No, I'm getting very hot.
Hi!
Wait, Sylvia! Where are you taking me?
Mom and Dad are in Cebu,
I asked the maids to go to the supermarket,
and I asked them to sleep there for three days!
The security guard agreed?
It's just you and me here, Jerry!
You're so handsome and yet you're such a wuss!
- Come one!
- Wait! Sylvia!
You're a decent Filipina!
Hurry!
You know I studied in New York!
-You should've studied in New York, Cubao instead!
'YES!
'Sylvia!
- Just relax Jerry.
- Wait...
- This is it!
- How can I relax
if you're taking my clothes off!
Let's go here!
Wait.
- I'm just following my instincts, Jerry!
- Can I also follow my instincts?
- What?!
- Can I stand up?
Just relax, okay?
Wait, wait, Sylvia!
Don't get too harsh! We can talk
about this. You know I'm kind!
What exactly do you want?!
A kiss.
- What was that?! I'm not your sister!
- I know!
I want a mind-blowing kiss!
Luckily, she's not my sister.
Why are you always giving Manny a hard time?
Don't mind him.
He's too confident with his looks.
What an unusual tactics!
Playing hard to get.
Take it easy. He might suddenly disappear.
I've got a hold on his throat
and he don't know it.
Did you find it?
Will you call him now?
It's embarrassing.
Embarrassing? They're the ones
who insisted to come!
Don't mind them.
Hello!
Manny, you guys still need
to buy something, right?
Yes.
Okay, go ahead because this will take time.
Okay-
Thank you!
Oh, my bag-
Sorry.
Come on. Just because you know it suits you,
you tend to own it.
What kind of toy are you exactly looking for?
Avengers jigsaw puzzle!
There's a lot of Avengers stuff inside!
But there's no jigsaw puzzle!
Manny?!
Manny?
Manny!
Run!
- You asshole!
- Faster!
I've been looking for you!
Didn't expect to see you here!
- Kuya, wait for me.
- Manny!
Ate, wait for me.
Can you hold this?
- Kuya, wait for me! Ouch! Ouch!
- Faster, faster!
Manny?
He's such an asshole!
Manuel?!
Manny?!
Manny?!
Manuel?!
Manuel!
- Ouch!
- Sorry.
Next time, watch my way!
You're such a snob!
Why would I be nice to you?!
I don't even know you! Whatever!
So are you!
- Where? Where?
- There! There!
Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay!
Manuel!
Manuel!
Where the hell are you?!
Once I see you,
I will definitely kill you!
I'll assure you even your mom
won't ever recognize you!
Manuel!
Manuel!
- Manuel!
- Hurry! Hurry!
- Manuel!
- Hurry!
I thought you're already a grown up.
And yet that's your ambition.
My ambition is to be a chickboy,
just like kuya Manny!
Before you become a chickboy, open the
door first. Maybe it's one of your chicks.
Good evening.
Kuya Jerry, you have a visitor!
- How did you know?
- Because she's old!
Silly boy! That's what you get from Manny.
Hey!
Hello!
Marian! What a pleasant surprise!
Sorry about my brother.
He's really kind of weird.
He's not used to beautiful ladies.
That's fine. I'm also fond of kids
especially the quiet ones.
Dennis, say hello to Marian.
Hello, granny!
Cute kid!
Go upstairs and watch Ben Ten.
- It's not up yetl.
- Bugs Bunny, Scooby D00!
I don't like those!
Phineas and Ferb is on Disney Channel.
Go! Jump!
- Go ahead! Scoot! Scoot! Scoot!
- Alright!
Is this the job?
Where did you find this?
At the city hall's garage?
I'm wondering myself.
I've come to compile too many trash already.
The legacy of five years of
research and studies of sex.
- So this is your place! How charming!
- Thank you.
Do you live here with somebody
besides Dennis, the menace?
Yes. I have a atmate.
- Why don't you sit down?
- May I?
Thank you.
I have a flatmate but he's not here.
He's rolling out.
What I meant was he's looking
for something to work on!
I mean work.
Can I offer you something to drink?
Iced tea, sofdrinks perhaps
They say softdrinks damage teeth.
Double brandy's fine.
It even gives you confidence!
Do you still need that?
A double brandy?
0h yeah!
And confidence?
Oh yes.
You know, when you reach a certain age,
you badly need it!
Thank you.
You're not in your 30's yet?
Thank you.
Actually, a little higher than that.
That's not important anyway.
A person's age is never important.
A person's age isn't important.
What's important is the character,
personality, vibes, as they say,
aura, so to speak.
Like you! You're young but
you look mature and responsible.
As for me, biologically, I'm thirty three.
Intellectually, I'm sixty.
And I hope I look eighteen.
You look eighteen!
Sixteen even!
I don't think so.
No one would believe that.
Oh, what a charming man!
Anyway, to go on,
they say youth are
being wasted among the young.
I think the perfect combination
of personality is
intellectually matured
with a youthful image.
Yes?
Just like you?
Thank you.
Oh My God. I've been yakking here by myself!
Let's talk about you now.
What do you think of my position?
Oh! I mean, my opinion.
Oh I respect your opinion.
And I love your position.
Is this normal in this house?
Flattery. Flattery. Flattery.
Don't spoil me. I might get
used to it and seek out for it.
Well, it's not only about
flattery, attery, attery,
but truth, truth, truth.
Oh, you guys!
When you see women,
you tend to sweet-talk them.
Until, the woman falls in love
it just has something to do with the male egg.
Oh! I mean the male ego!
And when the woman falls,
what's the first thing you do?
Leave her and look for someone else.
You always seek new conquest.
Otherwise, you feel like
you're not a real man.
- Not all of us.
- All of you!
I studied that from my research.
And women feel challenged.
When she gets hold of a guy,
she'll never let him get away.
That's why I choose to be different!
You like me now,
I like you now, fine!
You don't like me tomorrow,
I don't like you tomorrow, fine!
Why let two rocks hit each other when
they're bound to scratch themselves?
What's the reason?
Yeah, what's the reason?
Anyway.
Back to my research.
The theme I would like for the
artwork is something like this.
The book is about survey and sex, right?
The sexual habits of the Filipinos.
But I don't want a sexy design.
I only want it tantalizing.
Like you?
Thank you.
Don't push yourselves!
Stop it!
Okay! This is what happened.
Dennis, the kid, took a jigsaw puzzle,
forgive him because he's
somewhat a kleptomaniac.
Security guards went after him.
He was brought to the manager's office.
I talked to him. And when we went out,
you guys are gone.
You really had to use the kid, huh.
And you turned him into a kleptomaniac!
Please! When will you ever tell the truth!
I'm telling the truth!
You're telling the truth?! I was there!
I saw you running and hiding
when you saw me saw you with someone else!
And don't dare tell me you were with Dennis!
You were with another girl
when you saw me saw you!
- It's crazy!
- So crazy!
That's the reason why
I don't tell the truth.
I don't have time for people
who don't tell the truth.
Even good looking ones?
Don't you have other investment
other than your good looks?
That's why I don't tell the truth!
Because I'll get in trouble.
Why would I let myself in a
situation where I'd get in trouble
if I can slip myself through it?
- You can't slip through anything all the time!
- Oh?
What do you mean 'Oh'?
Nothing. Just oh.
You know what? If you get through
other girls with your charms and sparkle,
-for me, never.
- See?
You're not telling the truth anymore.
I beg your pardon.
Admit it! When you see me,
your knees are trembling!
Oh! When I see you,
I want to go back to convent!
But you can't resist me
because I'm irresistible.
Your arrogance has no fund!
But this.
You know, you talk like you're
the only one who has good looks!
I'm also pretty!
But I don't use my beauty
to take advantage of people!
As for you, overused.
A child of God!
Mr. Roxas, when will you ever change?
Why are you girls like that?
When you like a guy, you want to trap him.
The first thing you want to do is change him.
If you want to change the guy, why did you
come to like him in the first place?
It doesn't make sense, does it?
If you like a person,
you like him for the way he is.
Not for the person he's going to become!
Women have become like this
because of guys like you!
Because you guys are
sweet-talkers of the first order!
You're only like that in the beginning!
You're respectful, gentleman,
kind, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
And when you finally got the girl,
you suddenly change.
You tend to forget your responsibility!
Play around left and right!
You text whoever you want!
Make friends on Facebook!
Following people on Twitter!
What do you really want?!
For keeps? Or maybe for
keps (slang term for female genitalia)!
- Do you want to drink?
- Okay. I've been yakking here.
I'll just get dressed.
Come here.
- Wait. Wait!
- Hey.
- You're crossing the boundary!
- Come on. I haven't reached it yet.
Hey! Hey! What are you doing?!
That's land grabbing!
Call it land grabbing if you have a title
in your hand! Do you have a title?!
And if I show you that,
you might grab it!
Really? Grabbing?!
Have you mistaken my body to a map?!
Just close your eyes
so you'll feel relaxed.
If I'm going to close my eyes, Manny.
I will close it all!
Fine! Close your eyes! But your mouth as well!
Wait! You know what? I came here with you
because you told me "Let's have a drink,
I didn't realize that we're going to park here
and tum my own body as your snack!
I'm done with this!
I feel like I'm hanging from Jones Bridge!
I'm not that kind of girl.
- I'm not that kind of guy too!
- So what are you?!
This kind of guy who never gets
dumped by a kind of girl like you!
It's because you're too fast on irting,
scoring and hiding!
Especially running!
I witnessed that from the
department store, remember?
It's Yvonne!
- You know, that's called jealousy! Jealousy!
- Really?
The reason I'm hiding from her is
because she's the kind of girl you'll wink at
then would want you to go with her at the altar!
- So what's wrong with that?!
- Nothing!
But I think it's better if a guy
and girl get to know each other first.
Just like us!
That's why I like you.
Fine.
Forward, you go.
There's a new hotel opening soon
in Bora and guess what?!
Ate Jane got the contract
to provide the furniture.
Classy! Bora, huh.
But since it's ate Jane's 9th month now,
she'll send me instead to survey the place.
Jerry has an assignment there.
Maybe I could go with him.
So we'll meet there.
Fine. Don't invite me!
Me too. Just forget about me.
Come on, guys! Let's all go!
- Let's go!
- When is it?
Next week.
- I can't go.
- Me too. I can't.
I can't understand you, guys!
You're the one I can't
understand, Manny!
And who's the woman?!
- My mother.
- Asshole!
- And her?!
- My sister! What are you making a scene here?!
Mario, talk to her!
- Yvonne, Mario. Mario, Yvonne!
- Manuel!
I'm pregnant! Do you expect me
to be prim and proper?!
- Oh wait. Wait a minute.
- I knew it!
- Wait. Rina, wait!
- Don't follow me!
- Sit. Have a seat.
- Rina, wait!
- Wait! Wait! Please!
- I know what you're going to tell me!
So don't tell me what
you're going to tell me!
My God! It's already 2013
and yet I'm still so stupid!
Will you leave my alone, Manny!
Do you need a TRO?!
Don't be impulsive!
Don't be too hasty!
Nice! There's translation!
That girl is crazy!
She's getting out of her mind!
Why would you trust a woman's testimony
who has no credibility?!
Rina, I'm not into those kind of girls!
Please. Be reasonable.
Don't ever follow me to Bora!
Or else I'll bury you alive in the sand!
There are lots of
good restaurants out there!
There's Indian, Italian, Greek.
Have you tried the
gelato place in station one?
I know what you're doing!
You're starting a fake conversation!
You're caught, Manny!
You're guilty!
Why would you let a crazy woman
destroy our beautiful relationship?!
A relationship that we built,
raise, expanded, taken care o
In just a snap, all that are gone?!
Rina, please. Think about it!
You know what I think?
I think I will stop thinking now!
Goodbye!
Rina, wait!
- Miss.
- Good morning, sir!
- Is Ms. Rina Lazatin here?
- Rina Lazatin.
Maybe I can call her.
I'm sorry, sir, but she left an hour ago.
Do you know her room number?
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't give that
out without our guest's permission.
- Thank you, Ms. Lazatin.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.
It's nice having business with you.
My sister will be very happy.
- It's been my pleasure.
- Thank you.
Hello, ate. Yes, they already
confirmed their order.
Yes. They want remodeled retro chairs.
Yes. They want that kind of look.
The hipster kind of thing.
Yes. Trendy, pretentious!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes! They ordered a lot! I'm so happy!
Good morning!
- Hi!
- Greetings!
And welcome to Boracay.
Manuel Roxas, the playboy
who always gets a bull's eye!
Rina Lazatin, the girl who's a rock!
- The Philippines is so big!
- Nothing's big enough for true love!
- There's lots of girls out -
- As far as Aklan!
As far as Tawi-tawi, as far as Spratleys,
I will follow you if that's what it takes!
Why do you have to act like a pest
to a woman who doesn't have time for this?
So that's what love is called now?
- A pest?
- A pest because it's annoying!
Annoying because he can't get over.
He can't get over
because he got dumped.
Are you sure he's dumped?
I don't think we understand each other.
We will understand each other!
I don't have time.
Tune. Time is not what you need.
A chance. A chance to explain!
A chance for me!
A chance to show you that
what you see is just an image.
For press release.
Come on, ma'am. Give him a chance.
He speaks so beautifully!
He speaks beautifully
because he practices a lot.
Let's hold hands while walking in sunset.
- Jerry!
- Marian!
Jerry! Jerry!
- Marian! Marian!
- Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Ma --
Marian! Marian! Marian!
Wait. I'll take a picture of you, Marian.
There you go. There you go. Okay. Okay.
Okay-
Nice!
The truth is you're grudging over the fact
that nothing has happened between us yet
which you've been wanting
to brag about to your friends.
You have no bragging rights yet!
You're adamant that we should get back
together that's why you follow me around!
You know what? You're much clingier
than my own shadow!
I've been following you
because I've already fallen.
I've fallen.
It's hard when you're hanging in the middle.
That's why guys like me, we tend to
look around until we find somebody.
Because this kind of
situation is for lifetime.
The reason why we've been testing
until we find the one.
That's really nice.
What chapter is that?
The next chapter.
Picture!
Okay. Ready!
Here we go! Here we go!
Everything will be okay! I'm here!
Picture. Picture.
Jerry. I want that. Buy me one of those.
- How much is that?
-It's very cheap, sir. Buy some.
- Sir, can we take that seat at the far end?
- Yes.
Okay. Let's go.
This way, sir.
Let's sit here.
Okay-
Thank you.
Why a corner table? Are we hiding?
What?
No. I just want a quiet comer.
Let's talk about our work first.
Plus the fact that, I don't want to share
you to the whole of Boracay.
How sweet!
As for me, I want to show you
to the whole wide world!
Oh, no!
What?
I mean, let's talk about our work first.
Why don't we take a picture of you then your book's
artwork will be based upon your picture.
Do we have to talk about that now?
Why?
You're so handsome!
Why don't you have some Mojito first so that --
Waiter! Do you have an aircon somewhere?
It's so hot.
Thank you.
Jerry?
Nothing. I just saw something.
Where? What is it? You said,
you saw something. Where is it?!
On the salad! I ordered Caesar salad
but they gave us a different one.
- We could just order from the room service instead!
- What? Why?!
So we'll have more privacy!
You're thinking about something.
That's yummy!
Is that bad?
Yummy because it's bad!
What do you think?
Let's go!
Oh, my has!
Let's go!
That's Jerry, right?
Yes, that's him, Jerry!
Who is that?
Is he with his mom?
No.
I know his mom's in Cavite.
She's growing her pineapples.
Does it feel good to have full tank?
Delicious.
Amazing.
Tasty.
It's everything!
You know, I think it's still the
best beauty secret in the world!
I'm 32 but I feel like I'm 22!
I want to run wild!
You know I'm conservative.
But now, I want to run from Station 1
to Station 4 only wearing this blanket.
I want to catch dragonies!
Buy balloons and pop it
in the middle of a fish market!
Ride the banana boat and
go parasailing only wearing a smile!
Or hang out in a club and rock!
There's a problem in the office.
Martin texted.
I told him I need an
extension for my vacation.
Maybe you have your schedule filled up!
I've made up my mind.
As I said, I need time for myself.
What, Jerry?
I'll just get something from the cottage.
I left something. I'll be right back.
- I'll go with you!
- No! No! No!
Wait here. I'll be quick.
Sylvia!
Jerry!
What are you doing here?
Nothing. Just acting sad.
You're taking too long to get back.
How did you know that I'm here?
From Mario. He told me that
you're here in Boracay.
And I said, Boracay is too small
for me not to find him.
Now, my plan is ruined.
What plan?
The -
Nothing!
My plan for the both of us.
You're so sweet.
Do you have a cigar?
Yes, I have.
I will just give it to my boatman friend.
Boatman?
Oh yes. Thank you!
- Wait. I'll come with you.
- No! Don't!
My boatman friend is kind of shy.
Just stay here. I'll be back in two weeks.
Two weeks?
Later. Just wait for me.
He's so weird!
What did you do?
You told me you'll something from the cottage.
Yes! This cigar! Actually, I need to go
back to cottage for the lighter.
You seemed absent-minded!
No. It won't take long. I promise!
Life is so strange, don't you think?
You know this beach is awesome!
Why don't you take a look at the waves.
I've seen that already.
No!
I'll give you a full tank later.
- I'm coming with you!
- No! No!
Take a look at the because again
because of - pearly shells!
- Let's go.
- Wait!
I need to buy something.
I'll need to buy something really quick.
No. Let's go!
What did your boatman friend say?
What boatman?
The one you gave the cigar to.
I got the wrong brand.
The filter should be menthol.
I'll just talk to the boatman.
Oh, he's here.
That scene when you want the ground
to just open wide and devour you!
Hi! Good morning.
Same to you.
Aren't you going to wish me well?
I'm going to wish you what
you're going to wish me.
I'm Jerry's girlfriend.
Same here.
Aren't we going to have a confrontation?
No need! Too lazy for that!
Okay-
See you.
See you.
- Aling Baday texted.
- What did she say? How's Dennis?
She's asking about your gift for Dennis.
I already have it.
Bro, anyway, as I was saying,
was it my fault if those two chicks
got me a contract at the same time?
Exactly!
Exactly.
Okay-
Admit it! You enjoy being a player!
I will never admit it while
you still don't admit that
you're deeply in love, destructed and hopeless!
Crazy! Admit it first!
Crazy!
You know what bro, just admit that
it feels best to be in love with a girl,
being faithful and all that shit.
You know what!
It's just the same investments.
Well in fact, Rina is just
the same with my other girls.
Just a little style, little good boy image,
and a little sweet-talk.
Is that so?!
You really are the
biggest asshole in the Philippines!
You! Don't come near me!
Don't come near me!
- Either I'll kill myself or I will kill you!
- Rina, wait.
- Rina, wait!
- Don't come near me!
It wasn't true! Rina, just wait!
I already said,
don't come near me!
Destructed!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Who are you?'
Hi! You must be Manny.
Yes. And you are?
I'm Bea. Amanda's cousin.
She already moved out,
I'll be staying here in her house for now.
- Where did she move?
- In The fort.
But don't you worry.
She asked me to look after you.
Great! I seemed like the Rizal Monument.
There's shifting of guards.
You really are handsome.
I thought Amanda was just exaggerating.
Care for a swim?
You know what? Maybe next time.
That's a promise, okay?
Admit it, you're jealous!
Me? Jealous? Why would I be jealous?!
Jealousy is not on my vocabulary!
Even if you court all girls from Luzon to
Brazil, I will never get jealous!
You're jealous with Marian!
You're thinking that there's something going
on between me and Marian. But there's none!
You're jealous! Your whole body is jealous!
Even your ears are jealous.
If there's any part of my body that
doesn't get jealous, that would be my ears!
You are not just jealous,
you're also being unfair!
You come here one day with a calling card
acting like a liberated girl from Paris!
Liberated? Shit.
You don't know what it means
even if I slap it on your face.
- We agreed for a spot on deal all the way, right?
Precisely!
So why are you acting like that?
You just saw me with another girl, now
you're already exploding from here to there!
You're like on top of Mayon Volcano.
She's not my sugar mommy!
I know! How could she be your sugar mommy,
she doesn't even have sugar in her body.
If I know, maybe salt!
Now, now, you're being bitchy!
I'm just telling the truth.
You're telling the truth about Marian but
you're not telling the truth about yourself!
You seem like an authority about the truth!
It started when I met you!
Okay fine! You claim that
you don't have idea about girls!
I don't have any idea about girls?
You're the one who doesn't have
any idea about boys!
Well, let me tell you something,
Mr. Jerry lzon!
I know something about you.
You are nothing but common.
You are nothing but a
common male chauvinist pig!
In fact, you're not even an
interesting male chauvinist pig
Because you're nothing but a
common male chauvinist pig!
You think all girls are
swooning over you,
because you have packs,
abs or whatever you have there.
Maybe during Rizal's time!
But not anymore!
If you think that I'll fall in love you
just to make your head big,
you are wrong!
If you want to go ego trip,
do it yourself!
Now, it's my turn to tell you something.
You know what's bad about you?!
- What?
- You're fake. You're fake!
Your outer personality is exact opposite
of your inner personality!
Your outer side shows that you're liberated,
cool or that I-don't-give-a-shit girl!
But your inner personality is like
from the 18th century!
You're worse than Maria Clara!
Maria Clara chose to kill herself when
she couldn't fix her life. But you,
if you couldn't fix your life,
you become sarcastic.
You become cynical!
Why don't you show you're true
personality even once a week!
You might like it.
I might like it.
VVay to go. guys!
No need. I already found him.
Okay. Bye.
You're getting drunk? What's the problem?
- Nothing!
- You know what, don't drink. It's just the same.
It's a waste of money.
That's okay.
You'll be paying for it anyway.
That's it!
- So, what's the problem?
- I told you, I don't have a problem.
Say that again and I'll knock you out!
And when I knocked you out,
no one will recognize you even your mom.
You are too violent.
We've been friends since we were kids!
We even thought that either a girl or
a boy has a hanging meat!
So don't you dare hide anything
from me or else, I'll beat you up!
Now, look at me and answer!
What?
It's Rina.
What about Rina?
Answer or I'll hit you?!
She doesn't want to talk to me.
There you go!
Applause! Applause!
Finally, the number one playboy
of greater Manila area is in love.
Hey, I'm not in love with her, okay?
What are you saying that you're not in love?
Idiot!
Look at your face,
it's like typoon Ondoy and Maring passed by it!
Just say it, you're now in love!
Finally! You already found a match!
First of all, I'm not in love with Rina.
Second, when will you learn
to talk in short sentences?
It's because you don't even want to admit
that you are no longer a playboy!
That's why Rina still think you're
a playboy even when you've already changed.
You talk too much! Why don't you just
talk to Rina instead and fix my life?
Since you like giving lectures.
There you go! That's what I like about you!
Ask for my help! You idiot!
Tell me that you need me!
I need you
to talk to Rina for me.
Please!
That's my baby!
- Oh Jerry!
- Marian!
You're just in time!
Can you stay here with my friend, please!
Why? I thought we're going to watch
the last full show at the lMax?
Let's just wait for it on TV.
Because Manny here's messed up.
Why? Where are you going?
I just need to talk to someone.
Manny, Marian's here.
- Hello, Manny.
- Hi.
Stay with him. He's in love.
Give him some advice.
Anyway, you're the authority with those
topic, if he didn't listen, knock him out.
I have to go. I'll be right back. Bye.
Bye! Take care!
- You're in love?
- No.
Well, yes.
Make up you mind. Which is it?
Yes or no?
I'm sorry. I can't understand
English when I'm drunk.
You're in love?
Oh, I'm so happy!
It's my first time to see a
guy who cries because of love.
I think it's not on my research.
Go ahead. That's good. Just cry.
That's what love is!
There's happiness but
there's sadness as well.
You don't know how much I envy you.
Feels good, right?
In love!
There's nothing quite like it
in this whole wide world.
Go ahead. Cry. CW!
Where's your brother-in-law?
He's in Davao. Slacking off
with his wide hip!
It's your sister's first baby
and he's not here?!
He managed to deposit but
he don't have the courage to withdraw?
What about your parents?
My mom got nervous,
so Dad stayed with her.
Their nerves are all messed up!
Ate Jane's due was supposed
to be next month!
Ate Jane always makes the wrong timing.
Good thing, I'm always relaxed!
I think I made the wrong timing.
Why is that? How many months is that?
No. What I mean is...
I want to consult about something.
What is it?
- About Manny?! Oh please, goodbye!
- Wait! Wait!
Give my friend a chance!
Okay, I'm getting dizzy!
You just have to understand him.
I think he has given hand-outs to all those bums
in Quiapo just to have good karma!
A chance?! Every time I give your friend a chance,
I get into trouble!
I actually understand him.
The problem is he's the younger version
of Hugh Hefner from head to toe!
Even if you bang him into a wall,
he will never change!
- He's changed.
- According to him!
According to me!
- What has changed?!
- He's now behaved and a good boy!
Manny?! Manny has no concept of what is
morally good and what is morally wrong!
He'll leave even his own mom on an
electric chair once he saw a beautiful girl!
Why are you so angry?!
- I think you're in love!
- In love?! Me?!
Manny is my friend.
I know him better than my own palm!
I know what's with him
if he's having goose bumps,
why his nose widens
or why he's raising his eyebrow. I know!
He likes girls simply because -- Why?
He wants to give compliments
just like a real gentleman!
There's no bad meaning to that,
okay?
I feel like I already heard that
somewhere or read that somewhere!
He stopped being a player.
He's ready to be a one woman man!
It's hard to believe in miracles!
Especially at this age.
- Especially with Manny!
- But in Manny's case, it's true.
In the case of Manny, in your case,
it's wishful thinking!
You should wish to make him
wish he turn into a decent man!
- Ms. Lazatin?
- Yes!
The baby's in the nursery already.
Oh My! Where? Where's my niece?
There you are! So cute!
So cute just like her aunt!
Cute niece, cute aunt!
Smile baby! Picture! Oh, smile!
Take a picture of us. Take a picture of us!
Oh My. My niece is so cute!
Mother?!
I said take a picture of us!
Hi, baby. Smile! smile! Look at the camera.
Selfie with auntie!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
What are you doing?!
Cheers!
Kuya Manny, we've already drank too much.
You're not staying with me?
You'll leave me too?
My bottle will be empty soon!
Not a problem! Not a problem!
Okay. Let's have a deal.
If I get drunk,
get a hot water for me.
You'll be there for me.
You'll take care of me. Right?
- Okay, boss!
-Okay.
Cheers! Come on!
Get the door. It might be Jerry.
Wait, wait! Where are you going?
The door is there, open it!
Kuya Jerry might get mad at me
that I'm still awake.
Wait a minute. It's not Jerry, okay?
Go ahead. Go! Go!
Just to make sure!
It could be a robber.
Right. Cheers! For the robber!
Robber of dignity,
heart,
Robber of strength. Cheers!
Good evening!
Dennis, it's already late to play baseball.
Hello!
Welcome
to my home.
Hi, Manny! How are you?
Wait. Won't you greet me?
It's my birthday today!
Birthday?!
Happy happy happy happy birthday!
Thank you!
- And you're so sexy tonight!
- Oh, thank you!
Do you still celebrate your birthday?
Naughty naughty!
What do you think?
I'm not on the calendar anymore?
This is so heavy.
What's this?
You're having an early celebration?
Celebration? No!
I'm having a nine-day novena.
Huh? Why?
Because of my problem,
it's getting mossy.
I hate it!
Why is that?
Before, when I had a lot of girlfriends,
I'm not getting any problems.
Now that I only have one girlfriend,
it seems like a huge problem.
Who? Is it Rina?
No. It's nothing.
Nothing?
What does she think?
If she rejects me,
her slot will be vacant?
There's a lot of girls out there!
I can still find one!
She'll be the one to run aer me.
Dennis!
Dennis!
De - Dennis.
Cheers!
Bottoms up!
Manny!
You know what, Jerry? I'm nervous.
What if when we get there,
he's doing something obscene!
If that will happen,
I'll throw your car into his face!
I'll do that!
Please don't.
Dennis, be a good boy.
Get some hot water! Hurry!
Okay, boss!
- He's also drunk?
- No way, I can do it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait! Wait!
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Wait!
Wait!
This is not included on my sex research.
I'm not coming in with you, okay?
It's between the two of you now.
He'll be happy that you're here,
anyway, Dennis is now asleep.
Maybe it's better if you come with me,
so there'll be a witness.
Since I'm about to give him a sack of sermons.
Then, let's record it on video
and let him sign with his blood.
Video scandal?
Never mind!
Even St. Peter lied three times.
While Manny did it three million times!
Well, anyways, see for yourself.
He could be hanging himself in there.
If I know, he's not hanging himself
inside but on someone else's.
Dennis!
What are you doing?!
Where's Manny?
He went out to buy some siopao!
He's buying siopao?
But his motorcycles outside.
Maybe, he took a tricycle ride.
Why are you carrying a basin of water?
Now, I'm wet.
I'm going to wash clothes!
That boy's taking too long.
Maybe he's chatting with somebody.
Dennis!
Dennis! Where's the hot waterl?
What's happening there?!
- Come up here!
- You're going to wash clothes? Who's that?
That? It's Manny's new CD!
New CD!? What are you thinking, Dennis?!
It's calling your name!
There's something fishy going on here.
Where is Manny's room?
There!
The kitchen?!
Dennis!
Dennis!
It's upstairs! Manny's room is upstairs!
Manny!
- Manny!
- Ate Rina, not there!
Manny!
Manny!
I knew it!
And who's that?
Maybe a member of Singles for Christ.
You're in trouble!
Jerry!
I knew it! Your dear friend
is full of foolishness!
What is it this time?
He's with a woman inside his room!
- And they're not just playing Scrabble!
- Manny's with a woman inside?
Manny doesn't bring woman in here.
Maybe outside!
It even got worse!
The girl is an Amazon woman!
Why did he do that?!
Because he doesn't know I'm coming!
So Jerry please! Please!
Don't ever convince me about your friend!
Because I've been wanting to cry!
I'm really going to cry! I'm going to cry!
I'm really going to cry!
As in, I'm about to cry! I'm going to cry!
I'm really going to cry! I'm going to cry!
I'm going to cry!
That's enough.
Well, well, well.
Good evening.
Wait, I know what you're thinking.
I'm here for Manny anyway. Not you.
What?! Why not me?
Jerry, it looks like you have a date.
Maybe I'm interrupting you.
Oh, no.
That girl too?! Your friend's unbelievable!
He's not contented with only one chick,
but he wants two of them on the bed!
What are you talking about?!
That's my girlfriend!
She's your girlfriend?
What is that?! His FuBu?!
What a great relationship you have!
You share everything!
Amazing!
I've had enough! I give up!
I know what you're thinking.
But you're wrong.
You're just in shock!
And who won't be in shock?!
I saw Manny with a woman in his room
and they are both in bed!
Caught in the act?
All I know is, there's a woman all over
Manny's body! All over his body!
Maybe they're just practicing a new dance?
A new dance? Twerking?!
Or maybe, a new swimming stroke!
What stroke? Breast stroke?
You know what? I don't believe it.
We should make sure of it!
Fine! Go back! Go back!
I want to face that man!
Okay! Here we go again!
Rina!
Rina!
- Rina!
- Dennis! Dennis! Come here!
Get some hot water, okay? Now!
Go! Go, now, go!
Rina!
You're so heavy!
Slowly.
Come on!
Dennis, what are you doing?!
He's in trouble again!
Oh, hi!
Oh, hi!
Hi!
I'm getting high of rage!
- Where's Mannyl?
-It's my birthday today. If you want to know.
Happy birthday! I said, where's Manny?
I think you already got your
birthday gift from him!
And maybe, the other woman
is with him at this moment.
You can see for yourself!
But, just relax. You think too much!
Thanks for the heads up!
And happy birthday, ma'am.
Ma'am? But we're about the same age.
What do you want me to think?
Manny's girls don't even take shifts!
They don't even take breaks
in between rounds!
You won't run out of it.
- Of what?
- Of suspicions!
Manny! Manny!
Manny!
Hello!
This is too much! Too much!
- What now?!
-It's getting worse!
Tell Dennis to get the hot water fast.
Why do you seemed to be the one mad now?
Manuel and I will get into a confrontation!
I'll just take you home!
He hooked up with all of my girlfriends!
He has no mercy! She's near her menopause
stage and yet he still screwed her!
Hey! If you're getting into a confrontation,
I'll go into a confrontation too!
Whatever you like!
But, with whom?
With your girlfriends, of course!
- What does it mean?
- Go back!
Dennis, what is that for again?
For Manny's room. It keeps falling!
Hey! Both of you!
We're not done yet!
Let's go.
She seems so hot-headed!
That's how old woman is!
Manny!
Manny!
Manny!
Where --
Manny!
- Kuya Manny! Kuya Manny!
- Help me! Hurry!
Get a face towel in the bathroom, go!
What happened to you?
This is nothing.
I can manage this.
Oh my!
This is crazy!
Oh, Lord.
Crazy?
You took two women home,
then you thought it's crazy?
You might be thinking dirty!
Don't speak! If you have problems with those
two women downstairs, I'll take care of it!
What else can I do but fight for you!
Whether you like it or not,
I'll change you into a better man.
No, you don't know the whole story.
Dennis and I were drinking, then,
Marian came. After that --
Do you know Jiu Jitsu?
No.
Muay Thai?
No. How about you?
All I do is about sex research,
not martial arts, marital ans.
But, I know boxing.
Really? How?
- Oh, here. Job straight.
- Job straight.
Then, hook!
- Jab straight, hook!
- Jab straight, hook!
'Uppercut.
'Uppercut.
- Jab straight, hook.
- Go on with your punches! Yes!
One, two!
Jab straight, hook, uppercut!
- Jab straight, hook.
Uppercut.
- Jab straight, hook, uppercut!
- Jab straight, hook, uppercut!
- Jab straight, hook.
- Jab straight, hook.
Just a minute.
Happy Birthday.
What a comedy, isn't it?
Kind of.
I've been trying to tell you
but you don't listen.
I'm sorry. I'm very impulsive.
- I'm only 22.
- I understand. We're the same.
I'm only 24.
Me? I'm hungry.
The cake's good for you.
Me too, I'm hungry.
Rina made me nervous.
I thought you'll butcher us!
It's because everything's so crazy!
Manny tried to tell me
what happened but he's gibberish!
My birthday seems exciting somehow, right?
Why isn't there a candle?
How many should it be?
The chicken's good! Why don't you try it?
How's your Manny?
His knees are still wobbly.
That's not our fault!
Boys are such a headache!
They're so hard to understand!
But once you understand them,
everything seems fine.
- So, you understand him now?
- No.
Why do we need to understand men?
Do men understand us, women? Tell me.
Do parents understand their children?
Do children understand their parents?
Do we understand anything in life?
None!
I have none! I'm almost 30 but I still
haven't understood anything in life.
Oh, well! As for me, I'm not going to
wait for myself to understand Manny.
When Manny wakes up,
I'll ask him to go straight to the altar.
For me? I don't want to get tied up yet!
You mean, you're not jealous of Jerry.
Not yet.
But soon, you will.
And once you become jealous,
your problem will be solved!
You fall in love and you become old.
Wow! How exciting!
So, what's the score?
Me? Zero. You?
With Rina?
Just the same.
That girl loves you so much, man.
So do I. I love her so much.
Remember that, Manuel!
- Remember that.
- Yes, I will!
Do you think I'm corny?
The corniest of all!
Corny's okay. I'm happy enough!
Good for you.
Bro, I'll visit you from time to time.
You're so corny. You're now leaving me.
It's because you're not my type.
You're a playboy.
You're not even a meztiso!
You look arrogant!
Asshole! If we didn't switch our lifestyles,
you wouldn't find a decent chick!
True.
But Rina's awesome. Why?
When she saw Marian,
she said, she's not a chick, she's a hen!
She harassed the old one!
Oh! Women!
I feel depressed.
I feel so depressed.
- Bro, I told you, come with us on our honeymoon!
- Oh, please!
Let me ask you this,
when will you become a decent man?
Well...
Let's see.
Asshole!
Ready.
Is it okay?
- Oh, come on, darling. Let's go!
- Slowly!
- You might fall.
- Ma'am, smile!
Jerry!
Perfect timing!
I'm getting married! Isn't it obvious?
I didn't send you an invitation.
You might create a scandal at the church.
I want to save you from embarrassment.
Anyway, who would have thought,
do you still remember Martin?
The ugly one I introduced to you before?
He's the lucky groom and
I'm the blushing bride!
Uncle Landing, take the Fonuner.
The Grandia will be used by the bridesmaids.
Okay-
Where's my bouquet?
Where's my bouquet?
Thank you!
Life is so funny, isn't it?
You know, Martin courted me for so long,
but I don't give him much attention
because he's ugly.
Then he proposed a marriage,
I said 'Let's go!'.
My God, would I dilly-daily
when I'm almost 31!
Clara, have you called Martin?
- Yes.
- Did he leave the house already?
- Yes.
- He's now in the church?
- Yes.
- Oh, good, good, good!
Now, where was I?
Dilly-daily.
Oh yes, dilly-daily.
Anyway, you know how it is!
You know us, women.
When I was 16, I told myself I want to
marry a guy who is tall, handsome,
good kisser, rich and kind.
Then, when I'm 21, I said, even the
one who's not tall but handsome,
good kisser, rich and kind.
Then of course, when I turned 25,
I said, even he's not tall
or handsome but etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Now, that I'm 29, a kind man is enough for me!
Ma'am.
Marian, let's go.
Wait a minute. Two minutes.
And Martin loves me.
In the final analysis,
that's what's important. Right?
After all, it's definitely right for a man to
love a woman much more than how woman does.
Oh, My God, Jerry. I'm getting late!
My boyfriend might run away from me!
And this is my last chance.
You know how it is!
Just follow us at San Agustin church.
The reception will be at Sofitel.
I'll see you there.
Don't cry, okay? I know your heart bleeds.
Oh, My God! Finally, I'll be able
to maximize my research about sex!
- I'll see you there.
- See you.
Let's go.
You may now kiss the bride.
They suit each other.
You're next!
- Thank you.
- You even kissed her.
Take care, okay?
- Take care.
- Of course.
Bye.
Take it slow with your chicks!
You'll be staying with mom again, okay?
Back to boring.
I saw you earlier talking with the ower girl.
What's her name?
Kyla.
I'm just applying what I learned
from you and kuya Manny.
I just need the basics!
How about you, kuya Jerry?
When will you get married?
Get married? I don't know.
Maybe when I meet the girl I love.
So I'll be your ring bearer too.
Then we'll ask Kyla to be the ower girl!
There it is! You just want to see Kyla again!
You should've taken her number.
Of course, I took her number right away.
That's my boy!
Yeah!
Jerry. Jerry.
She's leaving on a jet plane.
What? What are you talking about?
It's Sylvia, the first girl
to be bitten by a snake in Tarlac.
Sylvia, the first girl to wade
in the mud at three in the morning.
Sylvia, she's leaving the
pearl of the orient seas.
Wait, where will she go?
In New York.
Not the New York here,
but the New York in America.
I think she likes to become
like Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe she wants to be one of the
cast of Sex and the City 3, 4, 5!
That's life, right?
Like cycles.
Try to ride a tricycle.
You know what, I can't understand you.
Is this because of Marian? Or me?
Because of Marian, because of
you, because of me.
I'm sure it's not because of me.
I thought I can do it but I can't.
If you can, I can do it too.
As I am liberated and independent,
turned out, it's not enough.
What you said was true,
I've become jealous, possessive.
I can't take it that you're now a playboy.
You're lucky he's a boy, others out there are gay!
Hey! Quiet!
So?
If we'll just clash,
it's better to take a vacation from us.
Good. I'll take care of him.
I don't want to force you to change yourself,
its unfair to you.
But in the same manner, I don't want you
to force me to change.
If we'll both change then it's fine.
But if not, let it be.
Hopefully, when I arrived in New York,
I won't be like this anymore and
SO are you.
As for me, I'll stay forever young.
Just like you and Manny, you changed your
lives. You switched your lifestyles.
But it happened on its own.
No one forced you.
I want that to happen to us.
I'm left by you, left despaired.
I'm left by you, left despaired. Ouch.
+m
- Hi.
So, you're the one
Amanda and Bea are referring to.
Amanda and Bea?
Amanda and Bea? They used to live here before.
By the way, I'm Jerry.
Charlene.
I thought your name is Manny.
My full name is
Gerardo Manuel Sergio Julius lzon IV.
Wow. That's long.
Well, I guess you're still the same old
playboy they used to talk about.
Where did they move?
In Antipolo.
But don't worry,
they asked me to look after you.
You really are cute.
So, you want to go for a swim?
Sure.
There's wine on your lips.
I can't remove it.
Now, it's my fault (stutters")
you got caught in the kitchen?!
You know Jerry -
Oh, Manny, Manny.
One more.
Here it comes, boom!
What is it? Sorry, I forgot my lines. Sorry.
I saw you running and hiding
when you - (stutters)
I've been trying to tell you
but you don't -- (stutters")
One more.
You're dragging me again into your filthy life!
Sorry!
Women have become like this
because of guys like -- There.
It's different when it's close up.
I dare you, if it rains,
she won't get hit by the raindrops.
There was a time when
she's facing askew - ('stutters)
When she's facing askew,
I thought she's --
There was a time...
Is this safe?!
Oh, My God! Oh, My God!
Director!
Useless head. A perfect body
with an ugly face.
How about a beautiful ('stutters)
That scene when you wish to be eaten by...
the sea.
Cut!
Cut. Cut!
Now, it's my fault you got caught
('stutters) in the kitchen?!
Son of a gun! (swears)
Give Aling Baday a break!
She has a sideline at Pstutters")
Is that Chinese?
Look at what you're teaching to my brother!
I knew it ('stutters).
What?
A buffed gay. Bufila!
Oh, never mind! Bro,
I'm upgrading you, alright?
You laughed at me!
Are you sad?
Sorry.
Son of a gun!
Even if you wear
Ustutters") a habit,
Go! Cry'
- Go on, cry. Cry.
- Okay, cut!
I'll just talk to someone.
Je -- Oh!
Marian.
You? What type of chick do you want?
Chicken or -- Oh, Chicken. Sorry.