Summer of 8 (2016) Movie Script
Who am I?
Who will I become?
What does it all mean?
It's what I'm supposed
to be asking, right?
But, right now,
I'd do anything
for the answer
to just one question.
"Are you proud of me?"
Big day tomorrow, dad.
Your son is off to college.
I've still got morning
wood, so this better be
fucking worth it.
But that's tomorrow.
It's a little bit early,
Jesse. What's going on?
What would make
this day perfect?
What the fuck
you talking about?
I'm talking about
a perfect day.
What would it
look like?
Man, I just want to
drink it in.
No, you fucks.
I mean, I literally,
i just like, uh,
i wanna start drinking
and I don't wanna stop
until I'm just knee-deep
in some forbidden pussy.
Fair enough, I can
make that happen.
The drinking part.
How about you?
I got to tell her.
Be bold, brother.
You've got
nothing to lose.
My oldest
and dearest friend,
what do you want?
What will make
our last day together
perfect?
Nothing, man.
I want nothing.
Today, boys,
everything's possible.
I'm still confused
why this circle jerk couldn't
wait till the sun came up.
Take it easy.
My mom's making breakfast.
Is she making that thing...
With that thing... Jesse!
Jesse, wait.
Yeah, yeah,
she's making your thing.
Have you not
planned this out at all?
I was just saying,
you've had four years
to do this.
Are we good, we all done?
Amazing.
Good.
- Give this to me.
- No, no, no, no.
We've got it.
You've done enough.
Thank you, Bobby.
Thank you.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Where are my manners?
Yeah, where are your manners?
Up your ass...
- I'm sorry, Diane.
- I'll live.
- You look beautiful today.
- Thank you.
- Smooth.
- Your mom...
- Whatever... shut up.
- Your mom loves you.
Is Lily coming over?
Yeah, in a bit.
Have you decided
what you gonna do?
No.
I don't know.
I mean,
Lily is...
I know.
But... I mean,
isn't college supposed to be
about new experiences?
Sure.
What do you think
i should do?
Well, I could tell you
but I don't think
you're gonna like it.
Try me.
You should follow
your heart.
Oh, thank you,
very helpful.
Oh, that's my job.
Follow your heart.
Nan and pop were high
school sweethearts, right?
Hmm-mmm.
Yup, each other's
one and only.
What was their secret?
Ah, she was his calm.
That's it?
That is it.
Pop was a thinker,
like you.
And when those wheels
would start spinning
in the middle of the night
and he couldn't
get back to sleep,
the only thing
that would get him there
would be the touch
of nan's hand.
Right on his back,
or his arm,
out like a light.
She was his calm.
I mean it.
You follow
that heart of yours,
it will tell you when
you've found your match.
Trust me.
You must miss him
so much.
I see him every day.
Go, go have fun.
How you doing?
Hi.
What's going on?
Hey, douchebag.
All right, well, I believe
we have diem to carpe.
Cheers.
Why would you do that? No!
May we?
Oh, not without a drink,
I'm afraid.
Rules are rules.
Hey, can you be a doll
and fetch me two beers?
Can you be a doll
and lick my nut sack?
Oh, my god.
Who talks like that?
Want a beer? Oh! Come on!
Thank you so much.
It helps.
Have a good time!
Thanks.
All right, you guys
are going down.
Oh-ho-ho,
boys against girls.
How exciting.
Okay. Hmm.
Here you go.
I got this.
You got it.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're going down.
Hmm.
Do that strut.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Oh, and, uh...
Ha-ha!
Taken!
That was just cruel.
Emily.
Five, four, three,
two, mwah, one.
Ha-ha.
You are crazy.
Wow!
You, uh, care to share?
I make a wish.
Every time I throw, I...
It's like
blowing an eyelash.
That's my secret trick.
Helps me concentrate.
Here's the problem with love.
Even for us hopeless
suckers who want it,
nothing beats
the "falling in love" part.
How the littlest looks can
send shivers down your spine.
How you can spend days
imagining what her lips
must feel like.
How soft her skin must be.
But see, that's the
problem with love.
Once you fall in love,
the "falling in love"
part is over.
Speaking of ass sucking,
which one do you want?
Are you serious?
Don't you think Jen and Emily
know you a bit too well?
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
Means they know you're
a disgusting fucking pig.
Well, what's your point?
Whatever, man,
this is your last shot.
Speak now
or forever hold your peace.
Yeah, I'll take
my chances.
Well, they're both mine
then, I guess.
Hi, Aiden.
Hi, buddy.
That's my boy!
Must have been
a hell of a wish.
Yeah.
Looks like fun.
Horseshoes?
Yeah.
Knock yourself out.
I suppose
it's too much to ask
that you at least pretend
like you want to spend
your last day with us?
Pretending really
isn't in my DNA.
No, it is not.
You know
it's not you guys.
It's just...
I'm ready.
Ready to get outta here.
Ready for tomorrow.
Yes!
Tomorrow's coming.
You might as well enjoy
yourself in the meantime.
You're not thinking
what I think
you're thinking?
Oh.
Oh, she's doing that thing.
She's doing that...
I fuckin' love it
when they do that thing.
They know that we love it
when they do that thing,
right? I mean, they must.
That's probably exactly
why they do it, duh.
What do you think
they're talking about?
You need to fuckin' smoke
some more weed, dude.
Don't you fucking say it.
Don't!
- Calm down.
- Why?
You're such a dick, dude.
You're so lucky
you didn't tell me
to relax.
I fuckin' hate it
when people tell me
to relax.
I absolutely hate it.
It's like, who do
you think you are comin' in
to Oscar's space
and fuckin' with my vibe.
Who gave you that
right? I didn't.
I didn't do that.
Tell me to relax.
You fucking relax.
Phew. Seriously, though,
what do you think
they're talking about?
You think they're
talking about us?
Yeah, sure.
Wow.
Hey, Oscar.
What's up, brother?
Fuckin' relax.
It's a fight, fucker.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Here, bitch.
Ugh!
Idiots.
Em.
Yeah?
Here you go.
Look at these guys,
they're like walking hormones.
They are only good
for one thing,
which conveniently for me,
is the only thing
that I want from them.
As you go and
suck your bottle.
I think they've got
a bit more to offer
than that.
May be some do.
May be.
Well, I can't be bothered
to sift through all your
friends, who's got the time?
Do you think
guys are gonna be
any better in college?
I hope not. I like them
just the way they are.
Uncomplicated.
Nipple placement
is critical.
Hey, guys.
You and Serena were, like,
having a pretty good time.
Fuck, it's horseshoes.
What do you want me to say?
Baby steps, brother.
Baby steps.
I don't know, man.
What?
Man, you and Bobby, dude,
you just don't get it.
And you do, Mr. take-your-
pick-between-two-girls-
who-can't-fucking-stand-you?
That doesn't matter.
Yeah, it does.
No, it do...
If any of us want to bang
girls for more sexual
experience before college,
it has to be today.
I'm talking all of us.
All of us and them.
Girls are not
that different.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah, they are.
No, they're not.
No, no. No they're not.
I mean, the data is
pretty much on our side.
You want some data?
Yeah.
Aiden, how much do
you love blowjobs?
What?
What? I dunno.
You... you don't know?
I mean, it's a lot.
It's good.
Fuck, man. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, of course it's great!
On a scale
from one to ten,
how hot does a girl
have to be for you
to let her blow you?
Ah, dude, I don't know.
I haven't really, like, put
a lot of thought into it.
So fuckin' think
about it, man!
Let's take out the sevens,
the eights, the nines
and the tens
'cause they're in, right?
So would you let
a six blow you?
Depends.
On what?
On the circumstances.
Oh!
You fucking me, man!
No, it's important!
Okay, fine, yeah,
sixes are in, all right?
I'd let a six blow me.
How kind of you.
How about a five?
Yeah, fine, fives, whatever.
Okay, so we're actually
getting somewhere now.
Would you let
a four blow you?
Jessica dooley
is a four.
On her best day.
No, no!
You don't even...
Don't even start
with that bullshit.
No, stop. Where are we?
We're at three now?
Okay, take it easy.
Aiden,
like every other guy
in the planet, would
let just about
any girl with a pulse
give him a blowjob.
So what,
for the love of god,
is your point?
I'm getting there, Jesse.
Bobby, on a scale
from one to ten,
just on looks,
what's Aiden?
He's like a 8.5.
Aw, thanks, man.
Okay, so what am I?
You?
Yeah.
You're a three.
Ha! You're a fuckin' asshole.
No, you're like a seven.
No, you already
said it, no. Okay.
I don't know
where you're going with this.
I know that girls
are different.
Okay, but they are not
that different.
They are just as sexually
curious as we are.
You don't think that a girl
loves the feeling
of our tongues
on their pussies
as much as we love
the feeling of her
mouth on our cocks?
Of course, they do.
Come on, dude!
We are all young!
You know, we are curious
and we're sexual
and we want to investigate
and explore and rip off
and unzip and
explode everywhere!
Watch
where you're exploding.
So here's your data,
all right?
Guys will down
for a three,
at least, right?
Serena's getting
an eight and a half.
Girls are different
but think about this.
Are they five and a half
points different?
I don't think so.
That's why I think Aiden
is already in there.
And the truth is,
that they are not even
four points different.
So that means
that I have a shot.
So yeah. Go ahead
and put that data
in your pipe and suck it.
Okay. All right.
Look at them.
I mean, they look like
just simple creatures to me.
Ten counts says
they're talking about periods
and push-up bras.
Jen's easy.
Ten years from now,
a high-powered attorney.
I like that.
Yeah,
she'll be chewing up men
for a living.
And spitting them out.
Argh!
What about kids?
What about them?
Oh.
Do you think
you'll ever want them?
Em, I am one.
I'm sure as hell not
thinking about having one.
Okay, Serena's turn.
Oh, you're a writer.
Ah, awesome.
Thank you.
What about em?
That... that is also easy.
President of Sierra club.
President of the peace corps.
President of the
United States.
Okay, okay.
You guys are nuts.
We're not nuts.
You're the most brilliant
girl I've ever met.
And you won
most likely to succeed.
And yearbooks do not lie.
Wait, em... em is editor
of the yearbook.
How do we know
that she didn't rig it?
Because I won
most likely to succeed?
- Wait, what's that mean?
- Oh, come on.
No, everybody knows that
most likely to succeed
is just code
for biggest nerd.
Em, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No it's not.
It's not code for anything.
It means that people
believe in you.
Says the girl
who won best body.
Aw!
Come on, em.
So I have a good body,
big fuckin' what?
It is not something
to take for granted,
trust me.
Neither is people thinking
that you're smart, trust me.
Okay, Lily's turn.
Uh, please.
I'm a lost cause.
Aw!
I am also a lost cause.
Kiss my ass!
Lily, wait for me!
- There's still so much
- I wish I could ask you.
Show you,
share with you.
It doesn't get any
better than this.
It's funny how that thought
comforts me
and scares the shit out of me
at the same time.
On one hand, I'm so grateful
for these guys.
For Lily, for this day,
for this moment.
On the other hand,
I've got this gut feeling
it's only going to get harder
from here on out.
How could it not?
Look at us.
This has gotta be
the easy part, right?
What's it going to be like
when this little adventure
that we're on
takes some
real twists and turns?
Settle an argument for me.
May I?
Oh.
Is Jen right?
She really does think
all guys are assholes.
She's probably right.
Wow.
I don't think
you're an asshole.
May be I'm not
like other guys.
Or maybe assholes
are just assholes
and you are like most guys.
Oh, so I am
like most guys?
No,
that's not what I meant.
I... I'm kidding.
So do you think
you're ready?
For what?
Leaving home.
College, all of it.
As ready
as I'll ever be, right?
That is just it.
I don't think I'm as ready
as I could have been.
What do you mean?
Well, I just... I think
there are some things
I could have or should
have done before going.
Like what?
I don't know.
Like...
Like dated more.
Maybe I should have
dated more.
Em, you have
plenty of time for that.
Plus, how may
high school idiots
can you date anyway?
I wondered though
if maybe dating more
in high school
would have made me better
at dating in college.
"Better at dating?"
Sure.
It takes practice, right?
It gets better with
practice, right?
Em,
you don't need to
practice dating.
Well, it's easy
for you to say.
I'm sure you've done
all the dating
that you wanted.
Don't be so sure.
You're saying...
You're saying there's
someone that you wanted
to date, but didn't?
Are you nuts,
of course.
Ah, dude,
thank you so much.
Wait, did he make it?
- So sweet.
- No, no, no.
He almost made it.
It was
a great fuckin' effort.
Almost only counts
in horseshoes and junior
high sex, right, Jen?
I'm sorry, buddy.
I know I promised
but some things
just have to be shared.
Yes, they do.
Do they?
What does that mean?
No, don't you dare.
Oh, screw that.
Dare away.
What?
Come on, em.
Some things have
to be shared.
No, seriously.
I will kill you.
You will thank me.
No, no.
It's time for the cat
to be out of that bag.
Maybe these guys
can help you.
No, no, no, I don't know
about this, you guys.
I'm with Lily
on this one.
No, I do not care
who you're with,
not another word.
Not another word.
Sorry, em.
Should be.
What...
Sorry.
What, wait, no.
That's it?
Yeah.
That's bullshit.
Actually, I mean...
I think it's
really impressive.
Shut up.
No, no, no, no.
Think about it.
I mean, guys would
never let each other
off the hook like that.
Girls are so much sweeter.
Okay, that's bullshit,
and sexist.
- What are you talking about?
Hmm-mmm. Sexist.
What? How is that sexist?
I was trying to be nice.
Anytime you make
a generalization based
on gender, that's sexist.
Argh! Blow me, dyke.
- You fucking asshole!
- Oscar!
What... you think
all guys are assholes, so...
Yeah, I do
because they are, Oscar.
Okay, and is that not,
you know, sexist, Jen?
I mean, okay, I guess
i clearly
don't understand women.
I mean, it's not like
i said chicks are more
manipulative or controlling.
I know you're trying
to be complimentary
but really you're just
putting all of us in a box.
Oh, fucking, just shoot me
in the face, dude.
Okay.
No. You know what,
okay, hold on.
Is it sexist to say
that men are physically
stronger than women?
Yeah.
No, it's not. It's a fact.
And is it sexist
to say that men are
smarter than women?
No, 'cause you guys
are dumb.
Oh, my god!
And that's a fact too.
- Yeah.
- You've got to go.
Jen is right.
You're an asshole.
What? Okay, so you
agree with them?
No, actually, I don't.
Doesn't mean we can't
have a civilized
conversation about it.
- Thank you, Jesse.
- Yes.
But you don't agree
with me,
you think it's okay
to put all this in a box?
Jesse?
Okay, okay, ah...
You know what this is?
Mmm-mmm.
Yes.
A molding of Lily's clitoris.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, my god!
Look at it though.
No, it's a goddess.
You actually
never shock me.
It's a goddess.
That was too far.
Well, that doesn't
shock me either...
It's a goddess.
Shh.
...You fucking
feminist hippie.
So do you like it?
Yeah.
I love it.
You know that.
I think it's really...
It's beautiful!
Thank you.
Yeah.
So let me ask you.
Why is the goddess beautiful?
What do you mean?
What makes it beautiful?
Uh, well, what are you,
a fuckin lawyer
all of a sudden?
No, no, I just...
I just think it's a shame
we're all getting so caught up
in saying and doing
all the right things
that we can't even say
what's beautiful
about something.
Why do I wear her
around my neck?
Why?
Because she is beautiful.
She's calm.
She's wise.
She's gentle.
She's fair, she's nurturing,
she's powerful.
She's mysterious,
she's adventurous,
she's fearless.
She's a protector.
And, yes, she is sweet.
If you think that's sexist,
so be it.
I think it's pretty damn sexy.
So what? A guy can't
be all those things?
Man, if you think that's
what I'm trying to say...
I strive to be
all those things.
These are qualities
i admire.
I think you are
all of those things.
That's why I love you.
So I guess you loved me
for just the other reasons.
Who says I love you.
I need a beer.
Oh, Bobby!
Seriously, goddammit.
Dude, you're not going to
fucking ruin my buzz today.
You need to
figure your shit out.
I don't get it, like...
So we're not going
to the same school.
You and me aren't.
Aiden and I aren't.
- What?
- It's not the same.
It's not.
Ever since the beginning
it's always been
you and Bobby.
It was Jesse and Bobby.
Jesse and Bobby.
It's always been
Jesse and Bobby.
You guys won best couple
in the yearbook,
for Christ's sakes.
- What?
- What?
What?
What?
You and Bobby
got the most votes
for best couple
but miss obed knew
you guys weren't
actually a real couple
so she gave it
to the runner-up.
Oh, my god.
Are you being serious?
Yeah.
Wait a second.
I thought Jesse and Lily
won best couple.
Not exactly.
He's being a bit sensitive,
isn't he?
So we aren't going
to the same school.
None of us are.
But that doesn't mean...
No, no, no, no.
Did you and I win
best couple?
No, we did not.
So why're you telling me?
This a private party?
Let me ask you something.
Why are you taking
this thing so hard?
How am I supposed to take it
when my best friend
tells me he doesn't
wanna hang out anymore?
What... do you think
that's what I'm saying?
Aren't you?
We won best couple.
What?
Apparently,
according to Emily,
you and I
got the most votes
for best couple.
Isn't that something?
Sure, we deserved it.
Jesse and Bobby.
Jesse and Bobby.
Who's better than us?
I think
you might just be the best
"best friend."
So why did you
change your mind?
We would have
an absolute blast
if we went to
school together.
Jesse and Bobby.
I fucking love
Jesse and Bobby.
It's who I am.
I'm not going
to a different school
'cause I don't want to
hang out anymore.
I'm going
because I gotta know
who Jesse is
without Jesse and Bobby.
I'm gonna go
check on Lily.
Wanna head back?
I'll head over
in a bit.
All right.
Anybody wanna
go on a walk?
Go on a fucking walk.
Go on a walk.
I don't want to...
Jesus, come on, man.
Fine.
You're, um...
You're going to
Boulder, right?
Mmm-hmm.
It's awesome.
It should be...
Be really fun.
Mmm-hmm.
It's funny,
we haven't really
hung out that much.
What do you mean?
We're always together.
I guess. I mean...
Uh...
I mean,
we're together 'cause
we have the same
friends, you know.
But, we never really...
Talk, or, you know, hang out.
All right,
I'll tell you what?
Let's... let's make up
for that right now.
Okay, uh...
Yeah, sure.
All right.
Well, fire away.
Ask me anything.
Uh...
Fire away.
Okay. Uh...
Did you like high school?
Yes.
I mean, yeah.
I don't know. I...
Maybe. Ask me again
in 10 years.
Okay.
Okay, my turn.
Okay.
Favorite five?
Favorite what?
Favorite five.
The essentials.
Favorite color.
Uh-huh.
Favorite food.
Okay.
Favorite song.
Favorite movie.
Favorite position.
You're just a little
bit crazy, aren't you?
Well, aren't we all?
Well?
Uh...
Okay, all right.
So it's color first, right?
Mmm-hmm.
Okay, color.
That's easy. Umm...
How about...
I'm gonna go
right there.
Sunset-y blue.
Sunset-y blue?
Yeah.
I didn't realize
that was a color.
Ah, see, it's not
just a color, all right.
It's my favorite color.
Oh.
Happens every day.
That's you and me, you know.
We happen every day.
Here comes the "but."
But...
I knew it.
What do you know?
Not much.
I know
we're both thinking
the same thing.
Oh. What's that?
That maybe
this is supposed to be
our last sunset together.
Our last
magical,
unforgettable sunset.
What do we do?
I don't know.
Well, we're kinda
running out of time here.
Let's make a list.
What... are you serious?
Pros and cons
of breaking-up.
Uh-huh.
We're both thinking
the same thing.
So, just,
we'll put it out there.
Put it out there.
And...
Let's get them
out there.
Let's just...
Okay, pros for breaking-up.
Let's go.
Pros for breaking-up.
Pro.
We... we wouldn't
have to do
the long distance thing.
I mean...
People say it's brutal.
Yeah.
And we wouldn't have to be
that pathetic freshmen,
waiting around for
our boyfriend or girlfriend
when everyone else is out
experiencing new things.
Right. Cool things.
Yeah.
You can kiss as many
guys as you wanted.
And you can kiss as many
girls as you wanted.
Yeah.
Uh, in fact, you could do
whatever you wanted.
You could do
whatever you wanted.
It's pretty enticing.
Yeah, it is.
Okay, cons for breaking-up.
I've got this
breathtaking girl.
And I've got this
beautiful boy.
And I'd miss her
like crazy.
I'd miss him
like crazy.
While I was out experiencing
all these new things,
I feel like I just
want to be
in my pathetic dorm room.
Pathetically waiting for
my girlfriend to show up.
Yeah, I can see myself
being pretty
pathetic.
So?
So?
I wish it didn't
have to end.
Who says it has to?
To today, boys.
Everything is possible.
Stay in shape forever, man.
You know how in
every movie about space
someone always asks
something like,
um,
"do you ever wonder
"somewhere out there,
in the sky
"if there are people
"looking up at us just like
we're looking up at them?"
I love that.
Like, maybe
there are
eight other friends
out there just like us
looking up at the earth.
I doubt it.
I don't know.
I mean,
there's an infinite amount
of space out there, right?
Uh, infinity...
It's so hard to wrap
your brain around it.
It's like that monkey.
What monkey?
You know, it's...
It's the, uh...
It's the theory, right?
Like you...
If you put a monkey
in front
of a typewriter...
Excuse me.
...for infinity,
eventually...
Okay, thanks.
...it's going to
write Hamlet.
That's ridiculous.
I don't buy that.
I don't know
what there is to buy.
A monkey's not going
to type Hamlet.
What, it's gonna get
every letter perfectly
in the right order
including all the
capitals and punctuation?
Eventually, yeah.
You guys
are fucking crazy.
There's no way...
We're not crazy.
You just don't understand
the meaning of infinity.
Okay, all right. All right.
Emily, I'm sorry. Uh...
Before my friends
rudely interrupted you
about some childish
genius monkey typer thing,
you were...
You were pondering
life on other planets.
My whole life,
I've loved
knowing that I have
the coolest,
best friends
in the world.
- Thank you. But...
- Of course.
We're going
to college.
For four years.
At least.
At least.
So like those people
looking up at the stars,
I wonder if I'll find
another you.
Or another Lily.
Or another Serena.
Kinda hope I do.
You're right, it's weird.
We're gonna have
a whole new
group of friends.
New everything.
New beds.
I love my bed.
Yeah, a lot of guys do.
New chill spots.
New guys.
New girls.
Any girls.
New rules.
No rules.
No curfew.
No fucking curfew.
No sneaking out.
Or in.
Or in.
No parents.
No parents.
No family.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Just all of us
sitting here together.
Quiet.
Can't help wondering
what you guys are
thinking about right now.
We were probably always
thinking the
same thing, right?
Not the exact
same thing,
but similar.
Probably thinking about
how amazing today was.
Jesse, man.
Thank you for this day.
You're probably all
thinking about tomorrow.
Venturing off to
god knows where and what.
But that's tomorrow.
You know,
that's over there.
And before tomorrow happens,
and the day after that,
and the day after that,
all we have
is right here.
Amen, brother.
Right.
Everything that...
That matters
is right here.
I mean,
think about that.
While you guys are
thinking about that,
I want you to think
about one more thing.
And this is actually
mainly just to
Jen and/or Emily.
I want you to
think about this.
And I mean this
more than anything
I have ever said before.
I am
pretty amazing
at eating pussy.
Okay, no. All right.
Okay. Hold it.
That might have come out
a little wrong. That's...
I'm not... I'm just saying
I'm a generous lover.
Like, I enjoy
giving back...
No.
...To the people.
What?
What?
No... all right. Okay.
Aiden...
We'll go back to the
infinity monkey thing.
Infinity? You want to
talk about that now?
Emily story.
Tell me the
Emily story.
Oh.
You have to tell me
the Emily story.
No. Not a chance.
Come on. I will literally do
anything for you, Emily.
Emily. Emily.
I will do anything for you.
Just let Lily
tell the story, please.
Come on,
throw him a bone.
Anything?
Anything.
You'll thank me for it.
Trust me.
I'm gonna need
another beer.
Fucking right!
You better be
a man of your word.
So I can?
Em?
No, stop. I can't do it.
No. What? No.
Okay, you're fucking
killing me right now.
Go. Go.
Em wears pads.
Yeah, like for her
period or whatever?
I mean, so what?
Oh, my god.
See, this is what
I'm talking about.
That's all they fucking do.
They just talk about
tampons and shit.
The fact that she wears
pads in meaningless.
Okay, so the deal if off.
It's fine.
But why she wears pads...
Oh, my god.
They don't fit!
They don't fit.
I can't wear tampons because
i can't get them in.
What...
I mean, that's...
That's pretty cool.
'Cause like...
I mean, that must
mean you're really
tight.
Which is super dope.
Right?
Thank you, but it is
definitely not dope.
I don't mean to
be graphic, but...
Have you...
You all, like,
tried to help?
Yeah, we like,
tried one day.
That's what
girlfriends are for.
I cannot believe we're
having this conversation.
I have yet to conduct
a very thorough search party.
I can help.
Of course you can.
I'm dead serious.
I can help.
Everybody should know
their bodies inside and out.
Found your purpose in life.
Dude, I think you're
absolutely right.
I will conduct
my own search party
- whenever I damn please.
- Yeah!
Aye, aye, captain.
Buried gold
in them there waters.
Just waiting to be found.
Oh, shit.
Speaking of finding gold.
Forgot I had these.
I was going to
propose a little
sunset trip.
What do you think?
Too late.
Uh, I'm good, brother.
Don't think I can
be any happier.
All right guys,
no worries.
I'll, um...
I'll do it with you.
Why not?
Right. Yeah. Sure, of course.
What is she doing?
I...
You've obviously never
rolled with Aiden before.
- Shut up.
- What? What's up?
I'd like to say
a little something
before taking it.
I'm more ceremonial.
Does that sound weird?
It sounds nice.
Okay.
You guys will be missed.
But, with us in spirit.
Yes, we are.
Or we will.
I don't want to get too
carried away
or anything but, uh...
Thank you for joining me.
Don't I get to
say something?
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry, Emily.
You can look at
all the planets,
or colleges,
that you like,
but you will never find
what we have.
You three
are my everything.
I love you guys.
I love you.
Thank you
for letting me join you.
There's no turning back now.
I'm jealous.
This is my favorite part.
Why? What do you mean?
The sweet anticipation.
Exactly.
- I don't know about that.
- I actually think
the most fun part
about it is that
it gives me just
insane staminance.
Are you fucking serious?
I literally...
I can't come on it.
- Oh, thank you for that.
- I can't.
Staminance?
Staminance, yeah.
- Okay.
- What?
You're over buzzed.
Why am I...
How is that hopeless?
That's staminance.
The fuck?
Emily asked if I'm ready.
Hell, no.
I mean,
throw a whole bunch of
scared shitless,
confused kids
into a brand new world.
And, oh, yeah,
let's make sure
they're totally alone.
I mean, whose fucking
great idea was that?
That's why
I'm taking it so hard.
I'm scared too.
Yeah, we all are.
You're scared?
Of course.
Never seen you scared.
You're the toughest girl know.
Really?
Yeah.
I always assumed you thought
i was kind of a nerd?
A nerd?
I voted you
most likely to succeed.
We all did.
I... I think
we're all just
nervous about
leaving home and
starting something new.
- But...
- But
that's also
the coolest part about it.
Exactly.
The thing
that makes it terrifying,
is the same thing
that makes it
fucking awesome.
I mean, we get to
get out of here
and start all over.
That's just it, though.
I really like this.
I really liked it here.
Shit, I...
I love this.
We all do.
Speak for yourself.
We all do. Even Jen.
But this isn't
going anywhere.
We are.
All I know,
or knew, anyway...
But it seemed a little
less horrible with
my best friend there.
Maybe that makes me
a coward.
It's a precious
and fragile thing,
someone counting on you.
You were always there
for everyone, dad.
Oscar.
Oscar...
Weren't you afraid
of letting them down?
- Hmm?
- Let me get another.
No.
There's... there aren't...
There's no more, man.
Nope. Gone.
All right.
I'm gonna get some more.
You should grab me one.
- What's up?
- So, what's up?
Can I at least
sit on the couch?
I would give my life
for these guys.
But that's easy
to say, isn't it?
Don't get too close, Oscar.
I don't know
what you're about to
do to me.
If I'm being honest,
I'm not sure
I'd do a great job
of actually
putting their lives,
their hopes and
dreams before mine.
Am I supposed to?
Did you?
I guess
my brain knows.
But my heart still sees
my parents like I did
when I was a little kid
and I kind of love that.
Really?
I'm jealous.
Wait, what're we
talking about here, what?
The punch-the-gut moment
when you realize
your parents are
flawed and screwed up
human beings
just like everybody else.
It's brutal.
It's really like
a moment though?
I feel like...
I feel like it's more
like a process.
Like a... like a
rite of passage.
You know, like...
Like every kid has
to go through it.
Not every kid.
I've never really
thought about it before.
But
maybe I just
discovered the one
beautiful thing
about my dad,
passing away when he did.
In my eyes,
my dad is perfect.
It's the only way
i ever saw him.
And it's the only way
i will ever see him.
My dad will
always be perfect.
He is perfect, man.
Well, for me
it was a moment.
One moment.
It was the day after
my 16th birthday and
I was still sad
the night before 'cause
my dad got in
yet another fight
with his flavor of the
month girlfriend and
basically ruined
my birthday.
He whispered something to
her at the restaurant and
the next thing I knew,
she stormed out.
You know, it was actually
a thrill to see
the bitch go.
But even though he stayed,
he wasn't really there.
His mind and his heart
were clearly
somewhere else.
And maybe
I'm being like,
a bit selfish,
but i
sort of thought that
his mind and his heart
should be on his
16-year-old daughter.
But the actual fight
wasn't...
The...
The punch,
it was the next day,
when I asked my dad
what had happened,
turns out, he said to her,
"you are the most
beautiful woman
in this restaurant."
And before pouring
her wine on him
and storming out,
she said,
"how dare you look
at every other woman
in here."
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
And in that moment...
I asked myself,
"what kind of person..."
Can actually say
something like that?
No.
"What kind of person
"would date a person
"who would say that?"
That was like
a gut punch.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I don't know.
You made me cry.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Gonna miss you guys.
Honestly.
Hmm.
I never thought
I would hear those words
from your mouth.
I know.
Who are you?
It feels heart.
Oh, no,
i was going to, um...
Ah, sorry, I thought...
Are you in a hurry
to get back?
Get good grades.
Get your
extra-curriculars going.
Get sat tutors.
Get good sat scores.
Get into a good school.
I just realized the entire
purpose of my life so far
is been to get
into college.
That's true.
And what do we do now?
What do we do
now that we've done
the thing we've spent
our entire life doing.
I guess we do
the next thing we'll spend
our entire life doing.
So, I guess in a way
our first life is over?
I guess it is.
Any regrets?
Who's got time
for should have,
would have, could haves?
Em...
I am not your type,
i get it.
Em...
You're beautiful.
You're smart.
You're every guy's type.
Not every guy's.
I think you're amazing.
I... I just...
So if my first life
is over and my next life
starts tomorrow,
that kind of means
this didn't happen, right?
A monkey can type Hamlet.
I guess that whole
space-time continuum theory
can make
this moment disappear.
Wait... what moment?
What?
You know I was thinking
of trying to get laid
before going to college.
Yeah, I kind of
figured that out.
I was thinking
it could be you.
Kind of figured that out too.
It's magical, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
It's a perfect...
Chill spot, right?
That's exactly
what I was going to say.
Didn't know anybody else
used that term.
Right tribe,
and the right chill spot.
That's all you need.
How long have I been
rubbing this peach?
Fuck it!
Come on, staminence!
Let's see how amazing
you really are.
What? What?
Are you coming or not?
With you?
Yeah, let's go.
Oh, yeah!
Go!
Fuck, yeah!
- Okay.
- And bring a blanket.
Move, please.
Have fun
storming the castle.
- Hurry up, staminence.
- Coming.
Look at this.
Incredible.
I can't believe
this is happening.
Kissing you feels...
I'm sorry, I know it's not...
...amazing.
What?
I think you're amazing.
What?
How did I not
see it before?
How did I not see you?
I think you're beautiful.
Ridiculous. Um...
I guess good
old-fashioned missionary
for me.
I know, I know.
It's pretty boring
as far as that stuff goes.
Is this really happening?
Yeah.
Is it boring enough for you?
It's the perfect amount
of boring.
Purple, chicken
and waffles...
Uh-huh.
Shakedown street.
Dead poet society...
Oh, and...
Okay.
Sixteen candles,
the big lebowski,
dazed and confused,
Annie hall,
groundhog day...
Uh-huh.
One flew over
the cuckoo's nest,
it's a wonderful life.
Right.
Toy story, stand by me.
Breakfast club, fight club...
I just...
I could never pick just one.
So, yeah, uh...
Oh, and...
Being on top.
I, uh...
I haven't seen that one.
It's not a movie.
Okay.
I don't ever want
this to end.
Oh, my god, it's not going
to end, is it?
Oscar said it's really
hard to come on ecstasy.
I mean, normally...
I would have been
coming by now.
Normally, I... I should be
coming, you know.
But I'm not going to.
I'm so grateful for that.
I'm just so grateful for you.
And for everything.
I'm just so fucking
full of gratitude.
You were my answer,
Serena.
Jesse asked us
what would
make this day perfect.
You said having sex with me?
No.
I said, "telling you..."
Telling me what?
That I've loved you for...
Well, forever.
Pardon my manners.
So, maybe I was wrong.
Maybe when it's real love,
the falling-in-love part
never ends.
You, um,
want to head back?
Yeah.
Oscar was right.
Not a bad day.
What's that?
75 is
the miles from Berkeley
to Santa Cruz.
75 is the miles
I will drop everything
and drive whenever you need.
75 is the miles
i hope you'll drive
whenever I need you.
Of course.
75 miles is nothing.
You won't be alone.
75 miles is nothing.
Good day, man.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Uh, can I have my shirt?
Um, yeah. Yeah.
Thank you.
I'm going to go.
I wish
you could see this.
Wish you could see them.
I wish you could see me.
Who am I?
I'm your son.
Who will I become?
What does it all mean?
It's what I'm supposed
to be asking, right?
But, right now,
I'd do anything
for the answer
to just one question.
"Are you proud of me?"
Big day tomorrow, dad.
Your son is off to college.
I've still got morning
wood, so this better be
fucking worth it.
But that's tomorrow.
It's a little bit early,
Jesse. What's going on?
What would make
this day perfect?
What the fuck
you talking about?
I'm talking about
a perfect day.
What would it
look like?
Man, I just want to
drink it in.
No, you fucks.
I mean, I literally,
i just like, uh,
i wanna start drinking
and I don't wanna stop
until I'm just knee-deep
in some forbidden pussy.
Fair enough, I can
make that happen.
The drinking part.
How about you?
I got to tell her.
Be bold, brother.
You've got
nothing to lose.
My oldest
and dearest friend,
what do you want?
What will make
our last day together
perfect?
Nothing, man.
I want nothing.
Today, boys,
everything's possible.
I'm still confused
why this circle jerk couldn't
wait till the sun came up.
Take it easy.
My mom's making breakfast.
Is she making that thing...
With that thing... Jesse!
Jesse, wait.
Yeah, yeah,
she's making your thing.
Have you not
planned this out at all?
I was just saying,
you've had four years
to do this.
Are we good, we all done?
Amazing.
Good.
- Give this to me.
- No, no, no, no.
We've got it.
You've done enough.
Thank you, Bobby.
Thank you.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Where are my manners?
Yeah, where are your manners?
Up your ass...
- I'm sorry, Diane.
- I'll live.
- You look beautiful today.
- Thank you.
- Smooth.
- Your mom...
- Whatever... shut up.
- Your mom loves you.
Is Lily coming over?
Yeah, in a bit.
Have you decided
what you gonna do?
No.
I don't know.
I mean,
Lily is...
I know.
But... I mean,
isn't college supposed to be
about new experiences?
Sure.
What do you think
i should do?
Well, I could tell you
but I don't think
you're gonna like it.
Try me.
You should follow
your heart.
Oh, thank you,
very helpful.
Oh, that's my job.
Follow your heart.
Nan and pop were high
school sweethearts, right?
Hmm-mmm.
Yup, each other's
one and only.
What was their secret?
Ah, she was his calm.
That's it?
That is it.
Pop was a thinker,
like you.
And when those wheels
would start spinning
in the middle of the night
and he couldn't
get back to sleep,
the only thing
that would get him there
would be the touch
of nan's hand.
Right on his back,
or his arm,
out like a light.
She was his calm.
I mean it.
You follow
that heart of yours,
it will tell you when
you've found your match.
Trust me.
You must miss him
so much.
I see him every day.
Go, go have fun.
How you doing?
Hi.
What's going on?
Hey, douchebag.
All right, well, I believe
we have diem to carpe.
Cheers.
Why would you do that? No!
May we?
Oh, not without a drink,
I'm afraid.
Rules are rules.
Hey, can you be a doll
and fetch me two beers?
Can you be a doll
and lick my nut sack?
Oh, my god.
Who talks like that?
Want a beer? Oh! Come on!
Thank you so much.
It helps.
Have a good time!
Thanks.
All right, you guys
are going down.
Oh-ho-ho,
boys against girls.
How exciting.
Okay. Hmm.
Here you go.
I got this.
You got it.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're going down.
Hmm.
Do that strut.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Oh, and, uh...
Ha-ha!
Taken!
That was just cruel.
Emily.
Five, four, three,
two, mwah, one.
Ha-ha.
You are crazy.
Wow!
You, uh, care to share?
I make a wish.
Every time I throw, I...
It's like
blowing an eyelash.
That's my secret trick.
Helps me concentrate.
Here's the problem with love.
Even for us hopeless
suckers who want it,
nothing beats
the "falling in love" part.
How the littlest looks can
send shivers down your spine.
How you can spend days
imagining what her lips
must feel like.
How soft her skin must be.
But see, that's the
problem with love.
Once you fall in love,
the "falling in love"
part is over.
Speaking of ass sucking,
which one do you want?
Are you serious?
Don't you think Jen and Emily
know you a bit too well?
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
Means they know you're
a disgusting fucking pig.
Well, what's your point?
Whatever, man,
this is your last shot.
Speak now
or forever hold your peace.
Yeah, I'll take
my chances.
Well, they're both mine
then, I guess.
Hi, Aiden.
Hi, buddy.
That's my boy!
Must have been
a hell of a wish.
Yeah.
Looks like fun.
Horseshoes?
Yeah.
Knock yourself out.
I suppose
it's too much to ask
that you at least pretend
like you want to spend
your last day with us?
Pretending really
isn't in my DNA.
No, it is not.
You know
it's not you guys.
It's just...
I'm ready.
Ready to get outta here.
Ready for tomorrow.
Yes!
Tomorrow's coming.
You might as well enjoy
yourself in the meantime.
You're not thinking
what I think
you're thinking?
Oh.
Oh, she's doing that thing.
She's doing that...
I fuckin' love it
when they do that thing.
They know that we love it
when they do that thing,
right? I mean, they must.
That's probably exactly
why they do it, duh.
What do you think
they're talking about?
You need to fuckin' smoke
some more weed, dude.
Don't you fucking say it.
Don't!
- Calm down.
- Why?
You're such a dick, dude.
You're so lucky
you didn't tell me
to relax.
I fuckin' hate it
when people tell me
to relax.
I absolutely hate it.
It's like, who do
you think you are comin' in
to Oscar's space
and fuckin' with my vibe.
Who gave you that
right? I didn't.
I didn't do that.
Tell me to relax.
You fucking relax.
Phew. Seriously, though,
what do you think
they're talking about?
You think they're
talking about us?
Yeah, sure.
Wow.
Hey, Oscar.
What's up, brother?
Fuckin' relax.
It's a fight, fucker.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Here, bitch.
Ugh!
Idiots.
Em.
Yeah?
Here you go.
Look at these guys,
they're like walking hormones.
They are only good
for one thing,
which conveniently for me,
is the only thing
that I want from them.
As you go and
suck your bottle.
I think they've got
a bit more to offer
than that.
May be some do.
May be.
Well, I can't be bothered
to sift through all your
friends, who's got the time?
Do you think
guys are gonna be
any better in college?
I hope not. I like them
just the way they are.
Uncomplicated.
Nipple placement
is critical.
Hey, guys.
You and Serena were, like,
having a pretty good time.
Fuck, it's horseshoes.
What do you want me to say?
Baby steps, brother.
Baby steps.
I don't know, man.
What?
Man, you and Bobby, dude,
you just don't get it.
And you do, Mr. take-your-
pick-between-two-girls-
who-can't-fucking-stand-you?
That doesn't matter.
Yeah, it does.
No, it do...
If any of us want to bang
girls for more sexual
experience before college,
it has to be today.
I'm talking all of us.
All of us and them.
Girls are not
that different.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah, they are.
No, they're not.
No, no. No they're not.
I mean, the data is
pretty much on our side.
You want some data?
Yeah.
Aiden, how much do
you love blowjobs?
What?
What? I dunno.
You... you don't know?
I mean, it's a lot.
It's good.
Fuck, man. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, of course it's great!
On a scale
from one to ten,
how hot does a girl
have to be for you
to let her blow you?
Ah, dude, I don't know.
I haven't really, like, put
a lot of thought into it.
So fuckin' think
about it, man!
Let's take out the sevens,
the eights, the nines
and the tens
'cause they're in, right?
So would you let
a six blow you?
Depends.
On what?
On the circumstances.
Oh!
You fucking me, man!
No, it's important!
Okay, fine, yeah,
sixes are in, all right?
I'd let a six blow me.
How kind of you.
How about a five?
Yeah, fine, fives, whatever.
Okay, so we're actually
getting somewhere now.
Would you let
a four blow you?
Jessica dooley
is a four.
On her best day.
No, no!
You don't even...
Don't even start
with that bullshit.
No, stop. Where are we?
We're at three now?
Okay, take it easy.
Aiden,
like every other guy
in the planet, would
let just about
any girl with a pulse
give him a blowjob.
So what,
for the love of god,
is your point?
I'm getting there, Jesse.
Bobby, on a scale
from one to ten,
just on looks,
what's Aiden?
He's like a 8.5.
Aw, thanks, man.
Okay, so what am I?
You?
Yeah.
You're a three.
Ha! You're a fuckin' asshole.
No, you're like a seven.
No, you already
said it, no. Okay.
I don't know
where you're going with this.
I know that girls
are different.
Okay, but they are not
that different.
They are just as sexually
curious as we are.
You don't think that a girl
loves the feeling
of our tongues
on their pussies
as much as we love
the feeling of her
mouth on our cocks?
Of course, they do.
Come on, dude!
We are all young!
You know, we are curious
and we're sexual
and we want to investigate
and explore and rip off
and unzip and
explode everywhere!
Watch
where you're exploding.
So here's your data,
all right?
Guys will down
for a three,
at least, right?
Serena's getting
an eight and a half.
Girls are different
but think about this.
Are they five and a half
points different?
I don't think so.
That's why I think Aiden
is already in there.
And the truth is,
that they are not even
four points different.
So that means
that I have a shot.
So yeah. Go ahead
and put that data
in your pipe and suck it.
Okay. All right.
Look at them.
I mean, they look like
just simple creatures to me.
Ten counts says
they're talking about periods
and push-up bras.
Jen's easy.
Ten years from now,
a high-powered attorney.
I like that.
Yeah,
she'll be chewing up men
for a living.
And spitting them out.
Argh!
What about kids?
What about them?
Oh.
Do you think
you'll ever want them?
Em, I am one.
I'm sure as hell not
thinking about having one.
Okay, Serena's turn.
Oh, you're a writer.
Ah, awesome.
Thank you.
What about em?
That... that is also easy.
President of Sierra club.
President of the peace corps.
President of the
United States.
Okay, okay.
You guys are nuts.
We're not nuts.
You're the most brilliant
girl I've ever met.
And you won
most likely to succeed.
And yearbooks do not lie.
Wait, em... em is editor
of the yearbook.
How do we know
that she didn't rig it?
Because I won
most likely to succeed?
- Wait, what's that mean?
- Oh, come on.
No, everybody knows that
most likely to succeed
is just code
for biggest nerd.
Em, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No it's not.
It's not code for anything.
It means that people
believe in you.
Says the girl
who won best body.
Aw!
Come on, em.
So I have a good body,
big fuckin' what?
It is not something
to take for granted,
trust me.
Neither is people thinking
that you're smart, trust me.
Okay, Lily's turn.
Uh, please.
I'm a lost cause.
Aw!
I am also a lost cause.
Kiss my ass!
Lily, wait for me!
- There's still so much
- I wish I could ask you.
Show you,
share with you.
It doesn't get any
better than this.
It's funny how that thought
comforts me
and scares the shit out of me
at the same time.
On one hand, I'm so grateful
for these guys.
For Lily, for this day,
for this moment.
On the other hand,
I've got this gut feeling
it's only going to get harder
from here on out.
How could it not?
Look at us.
This has gotta be
the easy part, right?
What's it going to be like
when this little adventure
that we're on
takes some
real twists and turns?
Settle an argument for me.
May I?
Oh.
Is Jen right?
She really does think
all guys are assholes.
She's probably right.
Wow.
I don't think
you're an asshole.
May be I'm not
like other guys.
Or maybe assholes
are just assholes
and you are like most guys.
Oh, so I am
like most guys?
No,
that's not what I meant.
I... I'm kidding.
So do you think
you're ready?
For what?
Leaving home.
College, all of it.
As ready
as I'll ever be, right?
That is just it.
I don't think I'm as ready
as I could have been.
What do you mean?
Well, I just... I think
there are some things
I could have or should
have done before going.
Like what?
I don't know.
Like...
Like dated more.
Maybe I should have
dated more.
Em, you have
plenty of time for that.
Plus, how may
high school idiots
can you date anyway?
I wondered though
if maybe dating more
in high school
would have made me better
at dating in college.
"Better at dating?"
Sure.
It takes practice, right?
It gets better with
practice, right?
Em,
you don't need to
practice dating.
Well, it's easy
for you to say.
I'm sure you've done
all the dating
that you wanted.
Don't be so sure.
You're saying...
You're saying there's
someone that you wanted
to date, but didn't?
Are you nuts,
of course.
Ah, dude,
thank you so much.
Wait, did he make it?
- So sweet.
- No, no, no.
He almost made it.
It was
a great fuckin' effort.
Almost only counts
in horseshoes and junior
high sex, right, Jen?
I'm sorry, buddy.
I know I promised
but some things
just have to be shared.
Yes, they do.
Do they?
What does that mean?
No, don't you dare.
Oh, screw that.
Dare away.
What?
Come on, em.
Some things have
to be shared.
No, seriously.
I will kill you.
You will thank me.
No, no.
It's time for the cat
to be out of that bag.
Maybe these guys
can help you.
No, no, no, I don't know
about this, you guys.
I'm with Lily
on this one.
No, I do not care
who you're with,
not another word.
Not another word.
Sorry, em.
Should be.
What...
Sorry.
What, wait, no.
That's it?
Yeah.
That's bullshit.
Actually, I mean...
I think it's
really impressive.
Shut up.
No, no, no, no.
Think about it.
I mean, guys would
never let each other
off the hook like that.
Girls are so much sweeter.
Okay, that's bullshit,
and sexist.
- What are you talking about?
Hmm-mmm. Sexist.
What? How is that sexist?
I was trying to be nice.
Anytime you make
a generalization based
on gender, that's sexist.
Argh! Blow me, dyke.
- You fucking asshole!
- Oscar!
What... you think
all guys are assholes, so...
Yeah, I do
because they are, Oscar.
Okay, and is that not,
you know, sexist, Jen?
I mean, okay, I guess
i clearly
don't understand women.
I mean, it's not like
i said chicks are more
manipulative or controlling.
I know you're trying
to be complimentary
but really you're just
putting all of us in a box.
Oh, fucking, just shoot me
in the face, dude.
Okay.
No. You know what,
okay, hold on.
Is it sexist to say
that men are physically
stronger than women?
Yeah.
No, it's not. It's a fact.
And is it sexist
to say that men are
smarter than women?
No, 'cause you guys
are dumb.
Oh, my god!
And that's a fact too.
- Yeah.
- You've got to go.
Jen is right.
You're an asshole.
What? Okay, so you
agree with them?
No, actually, I don't.
Doesn't mean we can't
have a civilized
conversation about it.
- Thank you, Jesse.
- Yes.
But you don't agree
with me,
you think it's okay
to put all this in a box?
Jesse?
Okay, okay, ah...
You know what this is?
Mmm-mmm.
Yes.
A molding of Lily's clitoris.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, my god!
Look at it though.
No, it's a goddess.
You actually
never shock me.
It's a goddess.
That was too far.
Well, that doesn't
shock me either...
It's a goddess.
Shh.
...You fucking
feminist hippie.
So do you like it?
Yeah.
I love it.
You know that.
I think it's really...
It's beautiful!
Thank you.
Yeah.
So let me ask you.
Why is the goddess beautiful?
What do you mean?
What makes it beautiful?
Uh, well, what are you,
a fuckin lawyer
all of a sudden?
No, no, I just...
I just think it's a shame
we're all getting so caught up
in saying and doing
all the right things
that we can't even say
what's beautiful
about something.
Why do I wear her
around my neck?
Why?
Because she is beautiful.
She's calm.
She's wise.
She's gentle.
She's fair, she's nurturing,
she's powerful.
She's mysterious,
she's adventurous,
she's fearless.
She's a protector.
And, yes, she is sweet.
If you think that's sexist,
so be it.
I think it's pretty damn sexy.
So what? A guy can't
be all those things?
Man, if you think that's
what I'm trying to say...
I strive to be
all those things.
These are qualities
i admire.
I think you are
all of those things.
That's why I love you.
So I guess you loved me
for just the other reasons.
Who says I love you.
I need a beer.
Oh, Bobby!
Seriously, goddammit.
Dude, you're not going to
fucking ruin my buzz today.
You need to
figure your shit out.
I don't get it, like...
So we're not going
to the same school.
You and me aren't.
Aiden and I aren't.
- What?
- It's not the same.
It's not.
Ever since the beginning
it's always been
you and Bobby.
It was Jesse and Bobby.
Jesse and Bobby.
It's always been
Jesse and Bobby.
You guys won best couple
in the yearbook,
for Christ's sakes.
- What?
- What?
What?
What?
You and Bobby
got the most votes
for best couple
but miss obed knew
you guys weren't
actually a real couple
so she gave it
to the runner-up.
Oh, my god.
Are you being serious?
Yeah.
Wait a second.
I thought Jesse and Lily
won best couple.
Not exactly.
He's being a bit sensitive,
isn't he?
So we aren't going
to the same school.
None of us are.
But that doesn't mean...
No, no, no, no.
Did you and I win
best couple?
No, we did not.
So why're you telling me?
This a private party?
Let me ask you something.
Why are you taking
this thing so hard?
How am I supposed to take it
when my best friend
tells me he doesn't
wanna hang out anymore?
What... do you think
that's what I'm saying?
Aren't you?
We won best couple.
What?
Apparently,
according to Emily,
you and I
got the most votes
for best couple.
Isn't that something?
Sure, we deserved it.
Jesse and Bobby.
Jesse and Bobby.
Who's better than us?
I think
you might just be the best
"best friend."
So why did you
change your mind?
We would have
an absolute blast
if we went to
school together.
Jesse and Bobby.
I fucking love
Jesse and Bobby.
It's who I am.
I'm not going
to a different school
'cause I don't want to
hang out anymore.
I'm going
because I gotta know
who Jesse is
without Jesse and Bobby.
I'm gonna go
check on Lily.
Wanna head back?
I'll head over
in a bit.
All right.
Anybody wanna
go on a walk?
Go on a fucking walk.
Go on a walk.
I don't want to...
Jesus, come on, man.
Fine.
You're, um...
You're going to
Boulder, right?
Mmm-hmm.
It's awesome.
It should be...
Be really fun.
Mmm-hmm.
It's funny,
we haven't really
hung out that much.
What do you mean?
We're always together.
I guess. I mean...
Uh...
I mean,
we're together 'cause
we have the same
friends, you know.
But, we never really...
Talk, or, you know, hang out.
All right,
I'll tell you what?
Let's... let's make up
for that right now.
Okay, uh...
Yeah, sure.
All right.
Well, fire away.
Ask me anything.
Uh...
Fire away.
Okay. Uh...
Did you like high school?
Yes.
I mean, yeah.
I don't know. I...
Maybe. Ask me again
in 10 years.
Okay.
Okay, my turn.
Okay.
Favorite five?
Favorite what?
Favorite five.
The essentials.
Favorite color.
Uh-huh.
Favorite food.
Okay.
Favorite song.
Favorite movie.
Favorite position.
You're just a little
bit crazy, aren't you?
Well, aren't we all?
Well?
Uh...
Okay, all right.
So it's color first, right?
Mmm-hmm.
Okay, color.
That's easy. Umm...
How about...
I'm gonna go
right there.
Sunset-y blue.
Sunset-y blue?
Yeah.
I didn't realize
that was a color.
Ah, see, it's not
just a color, all right.
It's my favorite color.
Oh.
Happens every day.
That's you and me, you know.
We happen every day.
Here comes the "but."
But...
I knew it.
What do you know?
Not much.
I know
we're both thinking
the same thing.
Oh. What's that?
That maybe
this is supposed to be
our last sunset together.
Our last
magical,
unforgettable sunset.
What do we do?
I don't know.
Well, we're kinda
running out of time here.
Let's make a list.
What... are you serious?
Pros and cons
of breaking-up.
Uh-huh.
We're both thinking
the same thing.
So, just,
we'll put it out there.
Put it out there.
And...
Let's get them
out there.
Let's just...
Okay, pros for breaking-up.
Let's go.
Pros for breaking-up.
Pro.
We... we wouldn't
have to do
the long distance thing.
I mean...
People say it's brutal.
Yeah.
And we wouldn't have to be
that pathetic freshmen,
waiting around for
our boyfriend or girlfriend
when everyone else is out
experiencing new things.
Right. Cool things.
Yeah.
You can kiss as many
guys as you wanted.
And you can kiss as many
girls as you wanted.
Yeah.
Uh, in fact, you could do
whatever you wanted.
You could do
whatever you wanted.
It's pretty enticing.
Yeah, it is.
Okay, cons for breaking-up.
I've got this
breathtaking girl.
And I've got this
beautiful boy.
And I'd miss her
like crazy.
I'd miss him
like crazy.
While I was out experiencing
all these new things,
I feel like I just
want to be
in my pathetic dorm room.
Pathetically waiting for
my girlfriend to show up.
Yeah, I can see myself
being pretty
pathetic.
So?
So?
I wish it didn't
have to end.
Who says it has to?
To today, boys.
Everything is possible.
Stay in shape forever, man.
You know how in
every movie about space
someone always asks
something like,
um,
"do you ever wonder
"somewhere out there,
in the sky
"if there are people
"looking up at us just like
we're looking up at them?"
I love that.
Like, maybe
there are
eight other friends
out there just like us
looking up at the earth.
I doubt it.
I don't know.
I mean,
there's an infinite amount
of space out there, right?
Uh, infinity...
It's so hard to wrap
your brain around it.
It's like that monkey.
What monkey?
You know, it's...
It's the, uh...
It's the theory, right?
Like you...
If you put a monkey
in front
of a typewriter...
Excuse me.
...for infinity,
eventually...
Okay, thanks.
...it's going to
write Hamlet.
That's ridiculous.
I don't buy that.
I don't know
what there is to buy.
A monkey's not going
to type Hamlet.
What, it's gonna get
every letter perfectly
in the right order
including all the
capitals and punctuation?
Eventually, yeah.
You guys
are fucking crazy.
There's no way...
We're not crazy.
You just don't understand
the meaning of infinity.
Okay, all right. All right.
Emily, I'm sorry. Uh...
Before my friends
rudely interrupted you
about some childish
genius monkey typer thing,
you were...
You were pondering
life on other planets.
My whole life,
I've loved
knowing that I have
the coolest,
best friends
in the world.
- Thank you. But...
- Of course.
We're going
to college.
For four years.
At least.
At least.
So like those people
looking up at the stars,
I wonder if I'll find
another you.
Or another Lily.
Or another Serena.
Kinda hope I do.
You're right, it's weird.
We're gonna have
a whole new
group of friends.
New everything.
New beds.
I love my bed.
Yeah, a lot of guys do.
New chill spots.
New guys.
New girls.
Any girls.
New rules.
No rules.
No curfew.
No fucking curfew.
No sneaking out.
Or in.
Or in.
No parents.
No parents.
No family.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Just all of us
sitting here together.
Quiet.
Can't help wondering
what you guys are
thinking about right now.
We were probably always
thinking the
same thing, right?
Not the exact
same thing,
but similar.
Probably thinking about
how amazing today was.
Jesse, man.
Thank you for this day.
You're probably all
thinking about tomorrow.
Venturing off to
god knows where and what.
But that's tomorrow.
You know,
that's over there.
And before tomorrow happens,
and the day after that,
and the day after that,
all we have
is right here.
Amen, brother.
Right.
Everything that...
That matters
is right here.
I mean,
think about that.
While you guys are
thinking about that,
I want you to think
about one more thing.
And this is actually
mainly just to
Jen and/or Emily.
I want you to
think about this.
And I mean this
more than anything
I have ever said before.
I am
pretty amazing
at eating pussy.
Okay, no. All right.
Okay. Hold it.
That might have come out
a little wrong. That's...
I'm not... I'm just saying
I'm a generous lover.
Like, I enjoy
giving back...
No.
...To the people.
What?
What?
No... all right. Okay.
Aiden...
We'll go back to the
infinity monkey thing.
Infinity? You want to
talk about that now?
Emily story.
Tell me the
Emily story.
Oh.
You have to tell me
the Emily story.
No. Not a chance.
Come on. I will literally do
anything for you, Emily.
Emily. Emily.
I will do anything for you.
Just let Lily
tell the story, please.
Come on,
throw him a bone.
Anything?
Anything.
You'll thank me for it.
Trust me.
I'm gonna need
another beer.
Fucking right!
You better be
a man of your word.
So I can?
Em?
No, stop. I can't do it.
No. What? No.
Okay, you're fucking
killing me right now.
Go. Go.
Em wears pads.
Yeah, like for her
period or whatever?
I mean, so what?
Oh, my god.
See, this is what
I'm talking about.
That's all they fucking do.
They just talk about
tampons and shit.
The fact that she wears
pads in meaningless.
Okay, so the deal if off.
It's fine.
But why she wears pads...
Oh, my god.
They don't fit!
They don't fit.
I can't wear tampons because
i can't get them in.
What...
I mean, that's...
That's pretty cool.
'Cause like...
I mean, that must
mean you're really
tight.
Which is super dope.
Right?
Thank you, but it is
definitely not dope.
I don't mean to
be graphic, but...
Have you...
You all, like,
tried to help?
Yeah, we like,
tried one day.
That's what
girlfriends are for.
I cannot believe we're
having this conversation.
I have yet to conduct
a very thorough search party.
I can help.
Of course you can.
I'm dead serious.
I can help.
Everybody should know
their bodies inside and out.
Found your purpose in life.
Dude, I think you're
absolutely right.
I will conduct
my own search party
- whenever I damn please.
- Yeah!
Aye, aye, captain.
Buried gold
in them there waters.
Just waiting to be found.
Oh, shit.
Speaking of finding gold.
Forgot I had these.
I was going to
propose a little
sunset trip.
What do you think?
Too late.
Uh, I'm good, brother.
Don't think I can
be any happier.
All right guys,
no worries.
I'll, um...
I'll do it with you.
Why not?
Right. Yeah. Sure, of course.
What is she doing?
I...
You've obviously never
rolled with Aiden before.
- Shut up.
- What? What's up?
I'd like to say
a little something
before taking it.
I'm more ceremonial.
Does that sound weird?
It sounds nice.
Okay.
You guys will be missed.
But, with us in spirit.
Yes, we are.
Or we will.
I don't want to get too
carried away
or anything but, uh...
Thank you for joining me.
Don't I get to
say something?
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry, Emily.
You can look at
all the planets,
or colleges,
that you like,
but you will never find
what we have.
You three
are my everything.
I love you guys.
I love you.
Thank you
for letting me join you.
There's no turning back now.
I'm jealous.
This is my favorite part.
Why? What do you mean?
The sweet anticipation.
Exactly.
- I don't know about that.
- I actually think
the most fun part
about it is that
it gives me just
insane staminance.
Are you fucking serious?
I literally...
I can't come on it.
- Oh, thank you for that.
- I can't.
Staminance?
Staminance, yeah.
- Okay.
- What?
You're over buzzed.
Why am I...
How is that hopeless?
That's staminance.
The fuck?
Emily asked if I'm ready.
Hell, no.
I mean,
throw a whole bunch of
scared shitless,
confused kids
into a brand new world.
And, oh, yeah,
let's make sure
they're totally alone.
I mean, whose fucking
great idea was that?
That's why
I'm taking it so hard.
I'm scared too.
Yeah, we all are.
You're scared?
Of course.
Never seen you scared.
You're the toughest girl know.
Really?
Yeah.
I always assumed you thought
i was kind of a nerd?
A nerd?
I voted you
most likely to succeed.
We all did.
I... I think
we're all just
nervous about
leaving home and
starting something new.
- But...
- But
that's also
the coolest part about it.
Exactly.
The thing
that makes it terrifying,
is the same thing
that makes it
fucking awesome.
I mean, we get to
get out of here
and start all over.
That's just it, though.
I really like this.
I really liked it here.
Shit, I...
I love this.
We all do.
Speak for yourself.
We all do. Even Jen.
But this isn't
going anywhere.
We are.
All I know,
or knew, anyway...
But it seemed a little
less horrible with
my best friend there.
Maybe that makes me
a coward.
It's a precious
and fragile thing,
someone counting on you.
You were always there
for everyone, dad.
Oscar.
Oscar...
Weren't you afraid
of letting them down?
- Hmm?
- Let me get another.
No.
There's... there aren't...
There's no more, man.
Nope. Gone.
All right.
I'm gonna get some more.
You should grab me one.
- What's up?
- So, what's up?
Can I at least
sit on the couch?
I would give my life
for these guys.
But that's easy
to say, isn't it?
Don't get too close, Oscar.
I don't know
what you're about to
do to me.
If I'm being honest,
I'm not sure
I'd do a great job
of actually
putting their lives,
their hopes and
dreams before mine.
Am I supposed to?
Did you?
I guess
my brain knows.
But my heart still sees
my parents like I did
when I was a little kid
and I kind of love that.
Really?
I'm jealous.
Wait, what're we
talking about here, what?
The punch-the-gut moment
when you realize
your parents are
flawed and screwed up
human beings
just like everybody else.
It's brutal.
It's really like
a moment though?
I feel like...
I feel like it's more
like a process.
Like a... like a
rite of passage.
You know, like...
Like every kid has
to go through it.
Not every kid.
I've never really
thought about it before.
But
maybe I just
discovered the one
beautiful thing
about my dad,
passing away when he did.
In my eyes,
my dad is perfect.
It's the only way
i ever saw him.
And it's the only way
i will ever see him.
My dad will
always be perfect.
He is perfect, man.
Well, for me
it was a moment.
One moment.
It was the day after
my 16th birthday and
I was still sad
the night before 'cause
my dad got in
yet another fight
with his flavor of the
month girlfriend and
basically ruined
my birthday.
He whispered something to
her at the restaurant and
the next thing I knew,
she stormed out.
You know, it was actually
a thrill to see
the bitch go.
But even though he stayed,
he wasn't really there.
His mind and his heart
were clearly
somewhere else.
And maybe
I'm being like,
a bit selfish,
but i
sort of thought that
his mind and his heart
should be on his
16-year-old daughter.
But the actual fight
wasn't...
The...
The punch,
it was the next day,
when I asked my dad
what had happened,
turns out, he said to her,
"you are the most
beautiful woman
in this restaurant."
And before pouring
her wine on him
and storming out,
she said,
"how dare you look
at every other woman
in here."
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
And in that moment...
I asked myself,
"what kind of person..."
Can actually say
something like that?
No.
"What kind of person
"would date a person
"who would say that?"
That was like
a gut punch.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I don't know.
You made me cry.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Gonna miss you guys.
Honestly.
Hmm.
I never thought
I would hear those words
from your mouth.
I know.
Who are you?
It feels heart.
Oh, no,
i was going to, um...
Ah, sorry, I thought...
Are you in a hurry
to get back?
Get good grades.
Get your
extra-curriculars going.
Get sat tutors.
Get good sat scores.
Get into a good school.
I just realized the entire
purpose of my life so far
is been to get
into college.
That's true.
And what do we do now?
What do we do
now that we've done
the thing we've spent
our entire life doing.
I guess we do
the next thing we'll spend
our entire life doing.
So, I guess in a way
our first life is over?
I guess it is.
Any regrets?
Who's got time
for should have,
would have, could haves?
Em...
I am not your type,
i get it.
Em...
You're beautiful.
You're smart.
You're every guy's type.
Not every guy's.
I think you're amazing.
I... I just...
So if my first life
is over and my next life
starts tomorrow,
that kind of means
this didn't happen, right?
A monkey can type Hamlet.
I guess that whole
space-time continuum theory
can make
this moment disappear.
Wait... what moment?
What?
You know I was thinking
of trying to get laid
before going to college.
Yeah, I kind of
figured that out.
I was thinking
it could be you.
Kind of figured that out too.
It's magical, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
It's a perfect...
Chill spot, right?
That's exactly
what I was going to say.
Didn't know anybody else
used that term.
Right tribe,
and the right chill spot.
That's all you need.
How long have I been
rubbing this peach?
Fuck it!
Come on, staminence!
Let's see how amazing
you really are.
What? What?
Are you coming or not?
With you?
Yeah, let's go.
Oh, yeah!
Go!
Fuck, yeah!
- Okay.
- And bring a blanket.
Move, please.
Have fun
storming the castle.
- Hurry up, staminence.
- Coming.
Look at this.
Incredible.
I can't believe
this is happening.
Kissing you feels...
I'm sorry, I know it's not...
...amazing.
What?
I think you're amazing.
What?
How did I not
see it before?
How did I not see you?
I think you're beautiful.
Ridiculous. Um...
I guess good
old-fashioned missionary
for me.
I know, I know.
It's pretty boring
as far as that stuff goes.
Is this really happening?
Yeah.
Is it boring enough for you?
It's the perfect amount
of boring.
Purple, chicken
and waffles...
Uh-huh.
Shakedown street.
Dead poet society...
Oh, and...
Okay.
Sixteen candles,
the big lebowski,
dazed and confused,
Annie hall,
groundhog day...
Uh-huh.
One flew over
the cuckoo's nest,
it's a wonderful life.
Right.
Toy story, stand by me.
Breakfast club, fight club...
I just...
I could never pick just one.
So, yeah, uh...
Oh, and...
Being on top.
I, uh...
I haven't seen that one.
It's not a movie.
Okay.
I don't ever want
this to end.
Oh, my god, it's not going
to end, is it?
Oscar said it's really
hard to come on ecstasy.
I mean, normally...
I would have been
coming by now.
Normally, I... I should be
coming, you know.
But I'm not going to.
I'm so grateful for that.
I'm just so grateful for you.
And for everything.
I'm just so fucking
full of gratitude.
You were my answer,
Serena.
Jesse asked us
what would
make this day perfect.
You said having sex with me?
No.
I said, "telling you..."
Telling me what?
That I've loved you for...
Well, forever.
Pardon my manners.
So, maybe I was wrong.
Maybe when it's real love,
the falling-in-love part
never ends.
You, um,
want to head back?
Yeah.
Oscar was right.
Not a bad day.
What's that?
75 is
the miles from Berkeley
to Santa Cruz.
75 is the miles
I will drop everything
and drive whenever you need.
75 is the miles
i hope you'll drive
whenever I need you.
Of course.
75 miles is nothing.
You won't be alone.
75 miles is nothing.
Good day, man.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Uh, can I have my shirt?
Um, yeah. Yeah.
Thank you.
I'm going to go.
I wish
you could see this.
Wish you could see them.
I wish you could see me.
Who am I?
I'm your son.