Surfacing (2026) Movie Script
1
[melancholy music]
[light music]
JESSICA (ON PHONE): Cole,
it's Dr. McCall again.
It's now been a week since
you missed your last session.
If I don't hear
from you today, I
have no choice
but to file a report
that you haven't been keeping
up with your appointments.
Please, call me.
[knock on door]
- Dr. McCall, Cole Davis
is here to see you.
JESSICA: Oh, um,
yeah, send him in.
Cole.
- Hey.
- Where have you been?
- You know, around.
- Hmm.
Um, I'll have no
choice but to report
that you've been
missing appointments
if you keep this up.
- Whoa, Jess.
Slow down, OK?
You know what would happen.
They'd send me to prison.
And I mean, look
at my face, right?
Somebody like me, I'm gonna
have too many boyfriends.
So look, this thing we got
going on, it's not working out.
So I think maybe you
should type to your people,
let them know that
I'm fixed, and we can
both move on with our lives.
- Oh, OK.
Um, except you're not fixed,
Cole, because nobody is.
And this is the agreement
that you and your lawyer made.
You've missed two out
of five appointments.
- Wait, two and six.
- No, because this is
not an appointment.
And since it's not
an appointment,
I'm gonna have to ask you to
please make one on your way out.
- OK.
All right.
You know, I thought it'd be
a lot easier 'cause you're hot
'cause, you know,
talking to ugly people
sucks, but you're gonna make
this a real fucking chore.
- Goodbye, Cole.
COLE: Yeah, bye.
[light music]
- Come on out, Cole.
We're ready whenever you are.
- Hey.
Hey, Hey.
Whoa, wait up.
I'm Cole.
- Jackson.
- Yeah, so I, uh, saw you really
checking out my dick back there.
- Yeah, I was drawing you.
- Nah, but you were, like,
really spending time on it.
Getting it just right.
Hey, look, I don't blame you.
I got a massive cock.
- OK.
- So what do you do?
You're in, uh, art
school, I guess?
- What gave that away?
- Well, don't you think that's a
bit of a fucking waste of money?
- And what do you do?
- I'm in law school.
- Yeah, that explains
the douchebag routine.
- Hey, hey.
Whoa.
You want to-- you want to get
something to eat sometime
maybe, like a burger and fries?
Or I mean, we could do other
things with our mouths.
I'm talking you sucking my dick.
- Wow.
- I mean, you spent three
hours sketching it, right?
- Can't you just fuck off?
- Whoa!
Hey, yo, come back.
Come back, man.
Come back.
Listen, why don't
you call me sometime?
Look, my number is 705--
- OK, let me just
write that down.
- Oh, finally.
Thank you very much.
[jazz music]
Mm.
Our meal should really
come at the same--
anyway, I tell you,
if your father was still alive,
he would be horrified about
the way that boy has turned out.
You've always been
too easy on him.
That's why he is
the way he is, you know?
Please tell me he
has at least shaved
that ridiculous
looking goatee that he
had the last time I saw him.
He looked like a-- a Yeti.
[chuckles] I blame those
damn arts programs.
Kids are becoming freaks.
Are you actually
going to eat that?
Joyce says you haven't
returned her calls.
- It's because I
have nothing to say.
- She's trying to make
sure you're OK.
She just wants your opinion.
- No, she wants my permission.
- Well, it's not like
either of you are innocent.
At least she's trying, which
is more than you can say.
I thought we talked
about your hair.
Hmm.
I'm sure this is not
the wine I ordered.
Excuse me.
This isn't what I--
- Literally insult after
insult after insult.
I feel like a teenager, and I
can't do anything right at all.
I have three degrees.
And yet somehow-- somehow, I
still embarrass this woman.
Nothing is ever enough for her.
Just-- what?
- In all the time
I've known you,
you have never spent 45
minutes talking about a comment
your mother made
about your hair.
- Well, this is therapy,
and I'm supposed
to talk about my mother.
- Yes, but this feels
like a deflection.
Could there be
something else going on?
I noticed you very quickly
brushed by the details
about your sister's engagement.
- Yes, but that's
because this isn't about Joy.
- This engagement can't be easy.
Dragging everything back up.
It's understandable if it hurts.
Have you thought about
taking some time off?
- I'm fine.
- It's not just
for you, Jessica.
I'm worried about your patients.
- Hmm.
- Who are we really helping
when we're not mentally healthy?
- Uh-oh.
Looks like our time's up.
- You are the only patient
I who cuts her own sessions.
- Yeah, well, guess
I'm not used to being
on this side of the couch.
See you next week.
[melancholy music]
How are rowing tryouts?
- Fine.
- You think you'll
make the team?
So how are you feeling
about your dad's engagement?
- I know what you're doing.
- I understand if it's hard.
This must be really confusing.
- Stop talking to me
like I'm a child.
And don't try and pin whatever
you're feeling on me, OK?
You want to bitch to someone,
bitch to dad, bitch to Joy.
- Tyler, I'm just
trying to talk to you.
TYLER: I got homework.
[sultry music]
[groaning, moaning]
[panting]
- Hey, what are
you doing tonight?
- Um, I'm meeting
up with some people.
Why?
- Never mind.
It's all good.
- You should go tonight.
It's two for one
night at The Junction.
- Yeah.
Yeah, maybe.
- OK, cool.
See you later.
[melancholy music]
[JONATHAN SHARP,
"YOUNG, HUNG & BROKE"]
They all know my name
I'm young, hung, and broke
Got a pretty face
But I'm the punchline
to the joke
I ain't got much
But I know how to stroke
Living on the edge
Yeah, I'm young and broke
- Uh, can I get your number?
- Why?
- Maybe-- maybe we could
do this again sometime.
- Yeah, maybe.
Find me.
[melancholy music]
And then he slid his hand into
my pants, grabbing all of me.
I was so fucking hard.
And then his tongue
went into my throat.
It tasted like whiskey
and cigarettes.
And then he was fucking
me over a garbage can,
you know, fucking me deep.
And before you know it, I--
was all over.
I mean, he pulled up his
pants, and I pulled up mine.
And that's the story of how I
lost my virginity to a lawyer
in an alleyway.
You know, come to think
of it, that's--
that's probably why I
wanted to go to law school.
- Interesting.
Was any of that true?
- No, but it was
a good story, right?
- You realize you're
wasting your time?
- Isn't this the shit
you want to hear?
- Not if it isn't true.
I can't help you if you're
gonna keep playing these games.
- Me and you both know you
don't want to be here, OK?
So you can cut the act.
- Do you even want help, Cole?
- I don't need it.
I don't need help, OK?
Look at me.
I'm fine.
- Really?
- Yes.
- People who are fine
don't generally drive
into oncoming traffic for fun.
[suspenseful music]
- The voices told me.
The voices.
They told me to do it.
- OK, yeah.
I can't so I'm just gonna
release you back to the court.
COLE: OK, OK.
Calm down, Jess, OK?
You want to talk
about my shitty life?
We can next week.
- Can't wait.
COLE: OK.
- Wonderful.
COLE: Hey, since I'm
here, do you have
any more of those happy pills?
- Goodbye, Cole.
- All right.
[light music]
- Can I help you?
COLE: Yeah, yeah, you can.
Uh, had a dream
about you last night.
- Fuck's sake's.
You don't give up, do you?
- Whoa.
Who said it had
anything to do with sex?
It was actually just
about me and Tom Hanks.
We were having a little rap
battle at a KFC parking lot.
And you just happened
to be recording it.
Look, the fact I
got a raging hard-on
for you is totally irrelevant.
What are you doing?
- I'm looking
for my rape whistle.
- Hey, look, man, I normally
don't have to try this hard.
I mean, look at me.
Rejection's a totally
foreign concept.
- Yeah, I know, Cole.
Do you honestly think
I haven't seen you
before at the clubs and stuff?
Leaving with someone
new every single time.
- OK, so?
- So I'm not interested
in being your fucking Chuck.
- Why do you think
that's all I want?
- Have you even heard
the way that you talk?
It's fucking disgusting.
And you just sound
desperate and pathetic.
- You don't know
the first thing about me.
- No, but I can tell that you're
obviously alone for a reason.
And you're overcompensating
pretty fucking hard.
- Go fuck yourself.
- I'll get right on that.
[melancholy music]
[groaning, moaning]
- OK, sweetie, just breathe in.
There we go.
And do not forget you have
a tuxedo fitting on Saturday.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- And please, have
that conversation
you've been putting off
with a certain someone
about that tacky wooden
jewelry he always
seems to be wearing these days.
He is going to a wedding,
not the tiki-tiki room.
- Jess, what do you think?
Jess?
- It's nice.
It's nice.
- You're not even looking.
- Mom, is that your veil?
You told me that I couldn't
wear that to my wedding.
- Well, it didn't
go with your dress.
I would have given it you--
- Actually, I was just thinking.
Jess, um, if you--
if you have time,
maybe you want to help with some
of the wedding preparations?
- Aw.
- You know why that's
not an option, right?
Please tell me that you know.
- Why can't you be happy for me?
- Oh, my God.
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Jess.
- What?
- I need to go back to work.
- Oh, for heaven's sake.
JESSICA: Back to work.
- No, you're not leaving.
- My God.
You're such a party pooper.
- Oh, you can't say anything.
- Oh, she's so dramatic.
- Oh, honey, you're
gonna have to hold
your stomach in a little bit.
- Mom.
- Just a bit.
[engine starts]
DR. KELLER: What made you
go to Joyce yesterday?
- She wanted to show
me the dress.
- That's what she wanted.
But you've made it
very clear you're
uncomfortable with all
of this, so what do you get out
of prioritizing what Joy wants?
- I-- I know the logical thing
would be to hate her, but
as uncomfortable as I feel, I--
I would feel worse if she
wasn't a part of my life.
DR. KELLER: Why?
- Because she's my sister.
You're supposed to be able
to turn to family for anything.
- Yes.
Can you?
Can they even be there
for you when they don't
know what's weighing on you?
[somber music]
- Hey.
- What do you want?
- I don't know.
I guess to say I'm sorry.
COLE: Ah, you're good.
You're good.
- Look, I didn't
think that what I said
was gonna get to you like this.
COLE: No, you didn't.
You wrote me off without even
giving me a fucking chance.
- Well, how do you expect me
to react when you come on to me
like a fucking freight train?
- 'Cause I'm attracted to you.
- So that makes it OK?
- No.
- Look, maybe what I
said was a little harsh.
- No, no, you were spot on.
I'm an absolute piece
of fucking shit.
- Look, I'm sorry.
I don't know what
you want me to say.
COLE: Fuck off,
Jackson, all right?
I don't need your judgment
on top of your pity.
[soft piano music]
- Hey, I didn't
know you were home.
What are you working on?
- Can you not?
I'm just trying to study.
- What's going on with you?
- Nothing.
- No, it's not nothing.
You've been brutal
to me for weeks.
I'm getting pretty tired of it.
You know, nothing can be
fixed without communication.
Does this have anything to do
with your dad's engagement?
- You know what, Mom?
Yes, it does.
JESSICA: OK.
I understand why you're upset.
- Do you?
You want to talk
about communication?
Fine.
Why don't you tell
me about the affair?
- What?
- Why don't you tell
me the real reason
that you and dad split up?
Why you acted like you
were some kind of victim
through the whole thing, crying
yourself to sleep every night,
making me think that he was
to blame for walking out.
I hated him
for months, for months.
And you just let me.
And to top it all off, you
spent the last few years
being awkward around me,
studying me constantly
to see if I had pieced it all
together, walking on eggshells
and making me feel
even more awkward,
like I was the one who
had done something wrong.
- Tyler, I don't--
- And then dad finally treats
me like a fucking adult
and tells me about it.
You had an affair on him.
You're the reason
our family fell apart.
So yeah, Mom, it is
about the wedding.
Is that enough
communication for you?
I want to live with Dad.
[panting, groaning]
[sultry music]
- Just, uh, hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I need a-- I need a drink.
- What's going on?
Hey, you good?
COLE: Yeah, yeah.
Uh, just need a second.
- What's the problem?
- Yeah, I'm just--
I'm just not in the mood.
- Well, let me get
you in the mood.
- Hey, Lindsay.
Would you fucking stop?
- Whoa.
What is your problem, man?
- Like, can't you do something
else besides fucking,
like, maybe talking for once?
- You want to talk?
COLE: Yeah, talk.
That thing people do
with their fucking mouths
when they don't
have a cock in it.
- We don't talk, Cole.
We aren't friends.
You are just a dick to me.
I thought that's all you wanted.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a dick.
All right.
- OK, so you get what this is.
So stop being a little
bitch and fuck me.
- You know what?
I got something
fucking better for you.
Why don't you take
your fucking shit--
- Whoa.
- And go fuck yourself.
- Holy shit, man.
Relax.
Are you kidding me?
- Look, I guess I am just a
fucking dick to you, all right?
Now, get the fuck out.
- OK, I'm happy to.
[melancholy music]
- [groaning]
[crying]
[television chatter]
- Hey.
COLE: Hey.
- What's up?
Does he fight you much?
- Oh, not really.
I mean, he always just wants
to stay up when I'm here so,
you know.
- Yeah, perks
of being a cool uncle.
Usually takes me, like,
an hour to get him to sleep.
He misses you, Cole.
He's always asking for you.
- I know.
I know.
I know.
I just-- I didn't want
to come here and have you guys
deal with my shit, you know?
- Yeah, I know.
We're your family.
We're the part of your shit.
Can we please talk--
- It's OK.
We don't need to talk about it.
- I just--
I don't-- I don't want you
to get to such a point again.
You have a lot of family
that care about you--
me, Oliver, Trevor, mom.
Just don't forget.
We love you.
["IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL"
PLAYING]
When peace like a river
Attendeth my way
When sorrows like
sea billows row
Whatever my lot
Thou hast taught me to say
It is well
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul
[clapping]
JACKSON: Hey.
- Hey.
- I, um, didn't expect to look
up and see you sitting out here.
- Yeah, you're the last
person I'd expect
to be in a place like this.
- Why?
Because I'm gay, I
can't be a Christian?
- Why is it always
a fucking fight with you?
- Hey, watch your mouth.
You're in a fucking church.
- Didn't know you can sing.
- Yeah, well, I
guess neither of us
really know a whole lot
about each other, do we?
- Yeah.
- Look, I'll see you around, OK?
[melancholy music]
JESSICA: Let's talk
about the car accident.
You told the court he
wanted to hurt yourself.
[engine roars, tires screech]
Chose a very public
way to do so.
- You think I was
looking for attention?
- No.
No, I think you were
looking for support.
- I wasn't trying
to kill myself, OK?
I'm just tired.
- Just wanted something
else to think about?
- Don't you ever?
- This isn't about me.
Yeah, the world can be
pretty hard to live in.
So I guess there's some days
where I wonder what it would
be like to just fade away.
- What stops you?
- Hope.
My family.
People that need me.
And mostly the knowledge
that feelings don't last.
- That sounds like some
class A bullshit, Jessica.
What else are you
gonna tell me, huh?
Live, laugh, love?
Everything gets
better with time?
- Some days will.
We have to find the things
in life that make it worthwhile.
- OK.
So tell me, what are
those things, right?
Society sucks.
Everything's
a fucking controversy.
Everybody's so easily
offended, yet so ready
to be offensive,
to hold everyone
accountable except
for themselves.
And they wait.
They wait for a reason
to hate you.
You're never gonna
be gay enough,
straight enough, rich
enough, poor enough,
even fucking depressed enough.
They just keep piling on, one
after the other, until you
fucking can't take it anymore.
And then they wonder why
you want to kill yourself.
You know what?
I would rather the world
fucking hate me
right away than for me
to walk on eggshells
for the rest of my life waiting
for them, waiting for the chance
that I slip up and they can
say, aha, we got him now.
I'm done.
I'm tired.
- Do you ever find you're
angry with yourself?
- That's a stupid question.
Isn't everybody
angry at themselves?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I suppose, but how do
you feel about your sexuality?
- My life isn't tragic
'cause I sleep with men.
I sleep with men, and my life
has tragedy in it.
Those are two separate
fucking things.
- You were nine when
your father died.
Tell me about that.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I was nine so what
do you remember
when you were a kid, right?
Dad was a-- a doctor with
Doctors Without Borders.
And he was there fighting
the Ebola outbreak in the Congo.
He just never came home.
- What about your mother?
Why don't you speak
to her anymore?
[cell phone vibrates]
I'm so sorry.
I thought it was on silent.
- I'm kind of tired anyways.
Maybe we can finish here.
- Sure.
Yeah, we can finish for today.
[door closes]
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Hello.
- Hey, you called?
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Oh, hi.
Yeah, do you still
have that Paris book?
- Yeah, why?
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Well, mom was
thinking it might be fun to have
a Paris themed wedding shower.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
JOYCE (ON PHONE): What?
JESSICA: Joy, I don't care.
You can have the book.
I don't care about
the stupid book.
But that's not why
you're calling about, OK?
You're calling to try and have
a conversation with me
so you can pretend that
everything's OK between us.
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Oh, is
this your professional
take on this then?
- Please stop trying to
overcompensate for how awkward
you know this is for me.
JOYCE (ON PHONE): God, OK, fine.
I won't call you again.
- Great, great.
Goodbye.
[line drops]
- I forgot my backpack.
I'll see you next week?
- Yeah.
[melancholy music]
Wow.
Looks like some
things never change.
You should get tested for HPV.
- It's the middle of the day.
Shouldn't you be off snacking
on the souls of children?
- Tyler told me about
your conversation.
I had an affair.
Really?
- Well, what did you
expect me to tell him?
JESSICA: What about the truth?
- Uh, really?
Thought we decided against that.
- No.
No, we didn't.
We decided that we would tell
him together when he was ready,
not keep throwing each other
under the bus to lie to him.
- Let's be honest, Jessica.
If you really thought
he should know,
you would have said
something by now.
I'm sorry, OK?
He started asking
questions about everything,
our whole history, details
about the divorce, about Joy.
Things slipped out,
and I just panicked.
- I need you to take him.
- What?
- He's not happy
with me anymore,
so I need you to take him.
- I'm not taking him.
JESSICA: He's your son.
- You wanted him.
I know that you'll
never forgive me.
And I don't blame
you, but I am sorry.
I-- he might be
ready, but I'm not.
- Unbelievable.
DAVID: You've always
been his constant.
And he will forgive
you eventually once he
processes this new information.
But I'm the one that keeps
screwing up in his eyes, Jess.
I'm a lot closer to actually
losing him than you are.
So I don't want
to make things worse.
You're not gonna say
anything, are you?
- No.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "FUCK WITH MY
HEAD"]
Putting it on a shelf
You love the power
I hate the pain
But there I am,
calling out your name
You fuck with my head
And I'll let you in
You pull me close
Then you leave again
- Do you want a shot?
- I can't drink anymore.
- What?
- I said I can't drink anymore--
- Sorry, I can't hear
you over the sound
of your vagina queefing.
Excuse me.
Hey, ball sack with testicles.
JACKSON: Oh, my God, Abby.
Seriously?
- Hi.
- Look, my friend here, he's
not bad to look at, right?
- Seriously?
- He wants you inside him.
JACKSON: Oh, my God.
- All like, what?
9 inches of you?
- Oh, my God.
You're so-- why do you do this?
- Don't act like
I don't catch you
checking him out all the time.
- Ooh, that's interesting.
- Tequila makes his
clothes fall off.
And he has a playlist
on his phone of songs
he wants to be plied to.
I'm gonna go dance.
Enjoy.
Thanks.
- Hey, that's mine.
JACKSON: I am so sorry for her.
- It's all good.
It doesn't bother me.
But you've got me locked
in this twisted dance
You took me down
- I'm also sorry about
the other day as well.
- Don't even worry about it.
I overreacted.
- No, I was--
I was a dick.
COLE: Let me buy you a drink.
- You really don't
need to do that.
- Hey, let me buy
you a fucking drink.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "BEING A DICK
TO ME WON'T MAKE YOU STRAIGHT"]
So go bury the truth
you can't face
You can call me names
Push me around
But it won't silence
the voice you found
Hurt me all you want
But it's too late
Being a dick to me
won't make you straight
The joke's in hard
[JONATHAN SHARP, "CAN'T THINK
STRAIGHT"]
You're messing with my mind
A guy like you shouldn't
leave me paralyzed
- So why do you think
you push people away?
- Wow.
- What?
- Where did that even come from?
I thought we weren't gonna
have any awkward questions.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Was that awkward?
- Yeah.
- Guess I must just be drunk.
Confused
Just don't know what to say
But you're in my head
Can't think straight
I mean, you're
obviously attractive.
- Mm.
- And you're smart,
and you're funny.
So why are you single?
- Why are you single?
- I'm not trying to shame
you or anything like that.
It's just doesn't get lonely,
all these one night stands,
everyone always leaving?
- Well, if we're honest,
that's all anybody ever wants.
- Not everyone.
- OK, fine.
I'll play that game.
Maybe not you.
But normal people,
that's all they want.
They just want to cum and go.
- How would you
know if you haven't
given anyone a chance to stay?
- 'Cause I know.
I mean, look around.
Everyone wants this
Saturday night.
Nobody wants to stay
for the Sunday morning.
We're not made to be
tied down at all.
We're just meant
to party, fuck, have fun.
Nobody wants to hang over.
- You're obviously hanging
around with the wrong people
because some of us want to be
there first thing in the morning
after the hangover
to take care of the person
that we're waking up next to.
[pop music]
--need permission
I was born to be free
Oh, you love to talk
But you never listen
Rewrite the past like
the truth gone missing
You're so damn good
at playing pretend
But karma keeps receipts
Guess we'll see how it ends
You smell like a saint
But your hands ain't clean
- You like that, don't you?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stop!
- Why?
- I don't want
to do it like this.
COLE: Like what?
- Like we're in a fucking porno.
- OK.
Uh--
- Look, I thought I
was wrong about you,
and I hope that I
still am, but this
is exactly what I didn't want.
Look, I'm kind
of drunk still, and
I'd like to spend
the night because I
do want to spend it with you.
- OK.
OK.
[gentle music]
[suspenseful music]
[cell phone vibrates]
- Fuck, oh.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Is that your phone?
- No.
Hey, take this and drink this.
- Thanks.
- Uh.
- Mm.
COLE: Uh.
- Mm.
COLE: Uh.
OK.
- Look, I had a time last night.
- Yeah, I did too.
Looks like we're ready
to pick up where we left off.
- [sighs] Come on.
I meant what I said last night.
I'd like to take
you out tonight.
Like on a date.
- Uh, isn't that kind of gay?
- I'll see you tonight.
- Well, this is
a nice change, Cole.
- It's him.
JESSICA: Someone you
were intimate with?
- You mean, did we fuck?
- Sure.
- No.
Actually, all we did was
cuddle, which is like--
I'm-- I'm surprised.
I don't know.
It just-- there's
something about him.
He's just different.
JESSICA: I'm really
happy for you.
However, um, I think
we should continue
where we left off last time.
Why don't we start
with your mother?
- Why don't we talk
about your mom?
Does she look like you?
Is she hot?
Is this her here?
JESSICA: That is a picture
of my sons, Tyler and Jackson--
- Jackson.
- You know Jackson?
- Yeah, I got to know
him very well last night.
- This isn't funny, Cole.
- Why?
You didn't know he liked boys?
- Of course, I know he's gay.
I just didn't know that he--
- Is it about me?
What?
Am I not good enough?
- Are you being
serious right now?
COLE: Yes, I'm being serious.
- Then I need you to go.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- I can't treat you any more.
COLE: This is
my therapy session.
- As of right now, I'm
no longer your therapist.
Go.
- Jessica, no.
- Enough.
- I'm not going.
I'm staying right here.
- I'm gonna call security.
Get out.
- Wow.
Really?
At least now I know what
you actually think about me.
So thank you.
[door slams shut]
[knocks on door]
- I thought we should talk.
Look, I don't know
how to say this,
so I'm just gonna
come out and say it.
I went to see David
yesterday, and--
- I know he's screwing
his secretary, Jess.
It's what works for us.
We're open.
Look, I don't expect
you to understand.
And you really don't have to.
I mean, it's kind of why you and
David never really worked out
and why he and I do.
You wanted different
things, and he just didn't
know how to communicate that.
And he and I are
on the same page.
- Great.
- OK.
Look, I-- I'm sorry
for how I hurt you,
and I really wish I
could take it back,
but you and I both know that
you were really unhappy with him
and he with you.
- David told Tyler
that I had an affair.
That that's the reason
for the divorce.
- Why would he do that?
- Because that's
the man you're marrying.
- Stop-- stop doing that.
You-- stop trying
to make me hate him.
- That is not what
this is about at all.
Look at me.
The only reason I'm
here telling you this
is because I think it's time.
He deserves the truth.
- This isn't just
about you, Jess.
You don't have to do this.
Not right now.
It's, like, the worst
fucking possible timing.
- Sure.
- Can you just let it go?
I have.
[melancholy music]
- I can't be here when--
- I know.
- Hey!
What the fuck?
- Why do you keep being
such a douche to mom?
- Get out.
- No, not until you tell me.
- Because she had an affair.
- No, she didn't.
- Dad told me.
JACKSON: Dad's
a lying sack of shit,
and he has been
our entire lives.
Get your head out
of your ass and
stop being such a little dick.
- I believe him.
- Well, you're an idiot, then.
And either way, it doesn't
give you the right to keep
on treating her like this.
And if you keep it up, I
promise, you I will cut you.
Now, hurry up.
I have a date.
- Why the fuck do you
even live here still?
[doorbell rings]
- Cole, what are you doing here?
- I'm here to pick up
Jackson for our date.
- He already has enough
going on right now.
- Yeah, so do I but that
doesn't matter to you, does it?
- This is exactly why I
don't want you seeing him.
- This isn't up to you.
- Hey.
You actually came.
- Of course, yeah.
- Mom, this is Cole.
- Yeah, yeah, we, um, just met.
- OK.
I'm not gonna be out too late.
- Well, he doesn't know that.
- I'll see you later.
Love you.
- Love you too.
Have fun.
JACKSON: Suburbia.
- Do you like my car?
- It's fancy.
- Yeah.
- So that's the dude
that Jackson's banging?
Did you talk to dad
about me moving in?
- Yeah, I have, but I've
changed my mind.
We're gonna work through this.
[light music]
- So are you, like,
a nachos guy or--
- I'm like a food guy.
Period.
- Me too, man.
Me too.
- Guacamole's
disgusting, though.
- Oh, the article.
- Yeah.
- The article is if you
eat one avocado per meal,
it's enough healthy
fats that you'll,
like, live longer or some shit.
JACKSON: An avocado per meal?
COLE: Yeah.
JACKSON: What do you even
do with that much avocado?
- I don't know.
You spread it on your bread or--
- Hi, um, my friend
thinks you're really hot,
so she asked me
to send you this.
- Does your friend
know I'm on a date?
- You're gay?
You're serious?
That's a fucking waste.
- Wow.
COLE: Here.
Why don't you take this back?
I'm-- I'm actually good.
- Well, OK.
Well, I'll just-- in case
you change your mind.
Maybe take one of these.
See ya.
- Yeah, her friend definitely
told her to do that.
JACKSON: Clearly.
- By the way,
Jackson, I'm not gay.
- Yeah, OK.
COLE: I'm not.
- OK, sorry.
Gay, straight, bi, whatever.
- None of those things.
- You have sex with men.
- OK, and?
- OK.
So what are you?
- I'm an experience.
No, for real.
I think living in this
world is hard enough.
So why would I make it harder by
putting myself in a little box?
I don't need a word
to define who I am.
- Hmm.
I guess I never thought
about things like that.
- How about you then, Jackson?
Who are you?
- Apparently, I'm
not as deep as you.
- Oh, you could have got
pretty deep last night.
- Why do you keep on doing that?
COLE: Do what?
- This self-defense
mechanism thing.
Do I make you
nervous or something?
- Honestly, yeah.
- Why?
COLE: I don't know.
I just don't do this,
like food, nachos, talking
about our personal life.
Like, I never do this.
I-- you're just
different, Jackson, OK?
- Well, I'm not going anywhere.
So, why law school?
- Mm.
Really?
OK.
Uh, when I was 16, I sought
emancipation from my mom
and, uh, my stepfather.
I was young.
I couldn't afford a lawyer.
So I found somebody who
was willing to fight
the case pro bono.
And if I didn't have
him in my corner,
I don't know where I'd be.
Law school is just a way of kind
of like paying it forward,
you know?
Like my good deed.
- Why did you
become emancipated?
- There's a lot
of questions about me.
Why don't we talk about you?
- OK, what do you
want to know about me?
- How's your family?
- Well, my dad is just--
he's not a good dad.
Um, my brother depends
on the day and who's around.
COLE: Mm.
- But my mom's pretty great.
- She seemed a little off
when I came to pick you up.
- Well, yeah, she's got
a lot going on right now.
My family's a little screwed
up, but I don't know,
she's the strongest
person I know.
I know she's gonna
get through it.
COLE: Mm.
- Honestly, I think there's
probably a lot more to the story
that I'm not even aware of.
But she keeps everything
in all the time.
You know, she just-- she
doesn't want to let me
and my brother see
her shit, but like,
it wouldn't bother
us if she did.
- Why don't you talk
to her about it?
JACKSON: I don't know.
I guess I've just got
to accept the fact
that sometimes I'm not entitled
to all the information.
It doesn't mean that I can't
just be there for the person,
you know?
I don't need to pry.
I just need to be there.
- Oh, cheers.
It's our first date, right?
- Cheers.
I had fun tonight.
- Yeah, me too.
- I'd invite you
in, but you know.
- Nah, don't even
worry about it.
We always got some other time.
- Hey.
- Or we could go
back to my house.
- Look, I meant what
I said last night.
I had a good time, but I
liked today better 'cause
I got to get to know you.
I want the Sunday mornings.
Goodnight.
[suspenseful music]
[bell jingles]
- Cole.
- I, uh--
I knew you'd be here.
I just-- I want to tell you,
I'm very serious about Jackson.
And I would never do
anything to hurt him.
- You told me this already.
- I know, but I thought
maybe if I showed up here,
you'd see how
committed I was and--
- I can't.
- Jess, I need
to stay in counseling.
I have probation.
I can't just-- you told
me to make things better,
and I'm trying
to make things better.
And Jackson, he just
makes it better for me.
- I know, OK, Cole?
But I can't.
It's a conflict of interest.
I'm sorry.
- I-- you know, I--
I know you never
really liked me,
and I never really said that.
And I wasn't easy on you.
I understand.
Somehow, I think maybe
if I stayed in counseling,
you could have helped me.
But thank you for at least
trying your best.
- I don't dislike you, Cole.
[bell jingles]
[soft music]
- Why do you keep staring at me?
- No reason.
Are you going out again tonight?
- Yeah, eventually.
JESSICA: You've been spending
a lot of time with this guy
lately.
- Yeah, that's what happens
when you're dating somebody.
- You're-- you're
dating, like, officially?
- Yeah.
- But it's only been two weeks.
Isn't that a little fast?
- What is with
all the questions?
Do you not like
Cole or something?
You don't even know him yet.
- Never mind.
Tyler, um, your grandma wants
to have dinner with the two
of us tomorrow night.
- What?
Why?
- Because she hasn't
seen you for weeks.
I don't know.
- Well, why doesn't
Jackson have to go?
- Because grandma's
a fucking psycho.
JESSICA: Hey.
JACKSON: Well, she is.
- Because she only
asked for you.
- It's probably
because the oldest is such
a disappointment, isn't it?
- Stop.
- It has its benefits.
[light music]
Cole, come on.
Hey, come on.
- What?
I just want to make
you feel good.
- I do feel good.
- Fine.
OK, I'm fine.
I'm completely fine.
JACKSON: OK, OK.
All right.
Do you have a condom?
- Yes.
- Yeah, so do I.
MAN: Get in the mood.
[melancholy music]
Hey, what's wrong
with you, baby?
What's wrong, baby?
COLE: Stop.
Stop.
JACKSON: Are you all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.
I just-- I can't right now.
- Well, then I
told the caterer, I
don't care about
your traditional menu options.
None of it is gourmet, which
is what I am paying for.
I mean, please, filet mignon?
What are we, savages?
Is this some sort of prom night?
I mean, if we wanted to be
the laughingstock of the season,
we'd just have
a pig roast or host
a reception on the front lawn
or some community center.
What are you wearing?
You look like an avocado.
- You wanted to talk
to Tyler about something?
- Oh, yes.
Right, right.
Hang on.
There.
There.
- $50,000?
- Mom, really?
- Well, you're going off
to university next year.
I mean, it isn't
fair for you to have
to work when you're supposed
to be focusing on your studies
and maybe finding a girlfriend.
- Mom, you should have
discussed this with me first.
- Why would I have
to discuss it with you
if I want to give
my grandson a gift?
- Because you have
two grandsons.
- Well, if the eldest--
- Jackson.
His name is Jackson.
I'm so sick of the way
you talk about him.
- I am not about to waste
my money on some arts program.
You do something
useful with that.
TYLER: Hey!
What--
- You are not buying
my son's affection.
You're certainly not choosing
one of my kids over the other.
Furthermore, he doesn't
need your money.
He has a lot more than
that waiting for him
when he graduates, which he
can use on whatever he wants,
whether it's art school
or not because he's my son,
and he can be whoever
he wants to be.
Let's go.
TYLER: Can I have my phone back?
Thanks.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "I CAN'T KEEP
MY HANDS OFF YOU"]
I can't keep
my hands off you
Every inch I want
to explore, too
Let's get reckless
Let's get loud
You've got me hooked
I can't back down
I'm all in
Let's forget the rules
Tonight, I'm the one
who's in control of you
I can't keep
my hands off you
- Have I ever told you
that you have a great body?
- Yeah, yeah.
You do it all the time.
- It's just like every time
you pose for our art class,
you give me a hard on.
Jax, can I make out
with your boyfriend?
- Yeah, I don't think so.
ABBY: Why?
I'll let you make out with mine.
- I don't want to make
out with yours.
No offense.
ABBY: Come on.
Can you just kiss
my best friend?
JACKSON: Oh, God, Abby.
- Come on, kiss him.
- Kiss him.
- Kiss him.
Do it.
Do it, do it, do it.
[gasps] Yeah, that is hot.
Add some tongue.
- Oh, God.
- Don't act like you
don't like it, bitch.
- You're still not making
out with my boyfriend.
- All right.
Scott, show him your dick.
JACKSON: I think it's
time for us to go home.
- Why?
We're just starting
to have some fun.
- Hi.
Hey.
Could I have another
drink, please?
- Sweetie, he doesn't work here.
- I'm going up anyways.
What do you want?
- Alcohol.
- Helpful.
- Did I ever tell you the time
that Jackson and I had sex?
- No, we didn't.
ABBY: Yes, we did.
I'm the reason he's gay.
You're welcome.
- We did not have sex.
- Private conversation.
Anyway, yeah, he asked me
to stick a finger up his no,
no hole.
And I was like,
yeah, he's a homo.
- I can say from
personal experience
that that's probably not
how the conversation went.
I mean, she casually asks
you if you're adventurous,
and the next thing you
she's two knuckles deep,
finger raping you up the ass.
- Man, that's-- that's--
that's not funny.
ABBY: Yeah, it's not funny.
It's not rape if you like it.
COLE: That's not fucking funny.
MAN: Dude, come down.
Didn't mean anything.
- Yeah, of course not.
Both of you don't
think about what you
say before you fucking say it.
I'm gonna go get, uh--
get some fresh air.
- Man, I'm sorry.
- I'll be back.
- He's dark.
- Hey.
You OK?
- I'm just--
I didn't mean to make
such a stupid scene.
JACKSON: It's fine, man.
Don't worry about that.
Do you want to talk about it?
- What's there to talk about?
- I mean, obviously, you're
going through something.
- I don't need any kind
of pity or judgment.
- Hey, I will never pity you,
and I will never judge you, OK?
I just want to be here for you.
- Well, I know that
other people in the world
have it a lot harder than I do.
- So that doesn't
make what you're
going through any less valid.
- It's cold out.
You don't have to stay
outside with me, OK?
- I want to.
I just want to be
here with you, OK?
I want you to know
that you're not alone.
DR. KELLER: You know you don't
owe anyone a thing, right?
Not your mom, not Joy,
certainly not David.
- I know.
DR. KELLER: No, Jessica.
Listen to me.
You don't owe anyone anything.
You've been holding it
together for everyone else.
It's time you prioritize
your mental health.
And if living
honestly alleviates
some negative
feelings, you need to.
- Yeah, but that's just gonna
make it a bigger fucking
mess for everybody else.
- That's something that can
be worked out over time.
That nagging guilt, the fear of
the unknown, the regret, that's
what's keeping you in limbo.
And it's eating you alive.
- Um, next Friday at 3:30.
- Hey, Jessica.
- What are you doing here?
- Well, you know I need
to keep up my probation,
so what do you think
I'm doing here?
Can I go up now?
[light music]
- Good to see you again, Cole.
JACKSON: Thank you.
ABBY: Can I show you mine?
JACKSON: Sure.
- Only serious
opinions only, OK?
- Oh, my God.
What is wrong with you?
- Girl can dream.
JACKSON: You're disgusting.
- I love it.
- So beautiful, the lake.
- Mm.
- And the stars.
I don't see them often.
You're awfully quiet.
- Yeah.
You know my dad's wedding
is coming up, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh.
- OK, I don't want to jinx
anything by asking too soon,
but do you want to come with me?
- Jackson, you know
I don't do weddings.
- There's an open bar.
- I'm in.
- God forbid you
just do something
'cause I'm your boyfriend.
- Oh, you know I
like to get hard.
I like to be a--
I like to be difficult.
- Yeah, ain't that the truth.
- OK.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, I really
like you, Jackson.
- I really like you, too.
- I just, uh--
I just don't ever want
to hurt you, you know?
- OK, so then don't.
- Let's go home.
- OK.
[gentle music]
[panting, groaning]
[suspenseful music]
[cell phone vibrates]
- Hello.
What's wrong?
Uh, I don't know, sis.
I, uh-- OK, yeah, I'll be there.
I'll be there.
- Who was that?
- That was just my--
my sister Cassie.
Um, my stepfather
died last night, so--
- Oh, my God.
Babe, are you OK?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
- I'm so sorry.
Is there anything I can do?
- No, don't worry about it.
- Oh, when's the funeral?
- I think she said
next Saturday, so--
- OK, I can--
I can be there with you.
- It's fine.
Look, I really don't
want you there, OK?
- Oh, babe, you're gonna
need somebody there.
- I said I'm fucking fine.
My stepfather died last night.
- Cole, I'm sorry.
- Trust me, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I, uh-- I'm actually glad.
DR. KELLER: Why do you say that?
- He just wasn't a good person.
- Why do you say he
wasn't a good person?
COLE: Just wasn't.
He did things.
Destructive things.
Hurtful things.
He hurt people.
The world is a better
place without him in it.
- It's never really
that simple, is it?
You can dislike someone
and still grieve their loss.
And sometimes that person
takes something with them
that you can't get back.
Tell me more about these
destructive things.
- We're not doing that.
I'm not talking about him.
Sorry.
- What would happen
if we talked about him--
- We're not going to talk
about him because I'm
done with that topic.
What you need
to understand is that this
is something I'm trying
to deal with on my own, OK?
And I'm sick of everyone trying
to force me to talk about it.
DR. KELLER: Who do
you mean by everyone?
- You, Cassie Jackson,
my old therapist.
You all know what happened, so
stop with the stupid questions,
OK?
- Cole, look, I--
I don't know what happened,
but I can see that you're
carrying a lot of pain.
But do you think
everyone is asking
out of nosiness or concern?
- No, I know why
everybody is asking.
They're asking 'cause
they're trying to fix it.
Like if somehow I open up about
it, it'll make them feel better.
It's always about
them, what they want,
what they think I need.
Do you know how
fucking awkward it
is to console someone because
they're hurting because I
tried to fucking kill myself?
This isn't one thing that
can be fixed by one person,
but I'm working through it, OK?
I am.
You'll all know
when I'm ready and
when I get there,
'cause that's when I'll
be willing to talk about it.
- How does next Friday work?
- Uh, no.
Can I-- how about Wednesday?
- Wednesday.
- Oh, I, uh--
I forgot my backpack.
I'm just gonna quickly--
[suspenseful music]
- Look, I know you
said you're fine,
but I cleared
my schedule on Saturday
just in case you
change your mind
and want me to go with
you to the funeral.
- For fuck's sake's, Jackson.
How many times do I
have to say drop it?
[horn honks]
When I say I don't
want you there,
I don't fucking want you there.
- OK, can you just pull
the car fucking forward?
- Yes, I can fucking
pull forward, all right?
I don't need you to instruct
me on every part of my life.
I can survive without you.
You know how fucking
annoying it is
to be asked the same
questions all the time?
Like, are you OK?
What's wrong?
Do you want to talk about it?
Like, somehow you knowing
is gonna fix things.
- OK, I'm sorry.
I don't know what
to do here, OK?
I'm just trying to let you
know that I'm here for.
- I get it.
I get it, OK?
You want to be here for me.
But this is not fucking about
you, Jackson, all right?
I do not want to fucking
talk about it, OK?
Like, I-- you're
always fucking around.
I can't catch a break.
- OK, I'm sorry.
- I need fucking space, OK?
I can't fucking breathe.
You're suffocating me.
- You told me you were
never gonna hurt me.
- Yeah, so maybe we
should end things now,
so I don't really
fucking hurt you.
- It's a little
late for that when
I'm already in love with you.
Don't do this, please.
- No, don't-- don't
fucking touch me, OK?
[somber music]
- Hey.
Hey.
Jax, what's wrong?
- [sniffs] Cole just
broke up with me.
- Oh, honey.
I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, right, Mom.
You didn't even like him.
- That is not true.
- Yeah, it is.
You didn't even get to know
him 'cause if you did,
you would have seen that
he's not just some guy
that it didn't work out with.
I'm so in love with him.
That's why he's
breaking up with me.
- You're in love with him?
JACKSON: Yeah, Mom.
And he deserves to be loved.
He deserves to have
someone there.
But he's too scared to let
people see all the bad shit
that he's got going on.
He's a lot like you like that.
DR. KELLER (ON
RECORDING): So, what
brings you in today, Jessica?
JESSICA (ON RECORDING):
My marriage.
It's over as of yesterday.
I just signed
the divorce papers.
[knocks on door]
- Hello?
- Are you Joy?
Joy McCall?
- What is that?
- That's all of the audio
recordings of your sister's
therapy sessions.
- That's sick.
Are you serious?
- Yeah, I am, you know.
I make a lot of bad
choices, so fuck it.
What's one more?
- I don't know what you
expect me to do here.
But I am-- I am--
I am not listening to that.
- Why?
'Cause you're afraid
of what's on there?
- Because it's
an invasion of privacy.
COLE: You just don't want
to hear what it's doing to her.
People like you
and me have no fucking
issue lying to everyone
else around us
but not Jessica, your sister.
- You know, she doesn't need
you to speak up for her.
She is more than capable.
COLE: Right.
She doesn't.
And you know she
wouldn't if it means
someone else is gonna get hurt.
But that's not what
this is about, OK?
It's about support.
You've had it your whole
fucking life, and she hasn't.
She's had to deal with this
and a lot more all on her own.
And trust me when
I say this, it's
a lot more manageable when you
have someone in your corner.
So, yeah, she shouldn't have
to ask, especially not from you.
[melancholy music]
- I think you should go.
[chatter]
- Hey, Ma.
- Cole.
Oh.
Hi, Cole.
- It's a nice service.
Mom, I-- I missed you.
I really did.
- Why are you here?
- I just told you why I'm here.
It's 'cause I missed you.
Because I thought you needed me.
- Like that suddenly matters.
- Mom, I'm not trying
to start a fight.
Ma, can you-- can you
at least look at me?
- Yes, I see you.
You happy?
- Mom, you know how hard it
was for me to come here today?
KATHERINE: Then why did you?
You show up today of all
days, after seven years
of shutting me out
so you can what,
pretend everything is fine?
- Pretend?
That's pretty fucking
ironic coming from you.
- Look, I am sorry for what
you think happened.
- I don't think
anything happened, OK?
It did happen.
It happened 11 times, Mom.
11 fucking times.
- How dare you start all of this
all again today of all days?
Do you really hate me this much?
- I don't hate you, Mom.
I never did.
I feel bad for you.
I'm doing my healing.
And you still can't accept
the fact that you did
nothing, nothing to help me.
Mom.
- Today is about his memory.
Don't ruin it.
[somber music]
[crying]
TYLER: Aunt Joyce is here.
JOYCE: Looks so good.
Over here.
You've got great hair.
OK, look at you boys.
- Joy.
- I, uh, needed to talk to you.
All of you, actually.
- How did you--
JOYCE: Doesn't matter.
What matters is that
I owe you an apology.
I should have seen what
this was doing to you.
And I owe you the truth.
Your dad told you
about an affair.
But it wasn't
your mom who had it.
It was your father.
18 years ago.
- What?
I--
- How?
I remember when he was born.
I remember when
you were pregnant.
- I was pregnant.
The little girl who I
lost during the delivery.
JOYCE: Your mom
and dad had already
decided to work things out when
I got pregnant so adoption was--
- Oh, no.
[melancholy music]
- Did you know?
JACKSON: No.
I mean, I remember
when we-- when
I was younger, mom and Aunt
Joy weren't talking
to each other for a while.
And I had no idea why.
But then you were born.
And suddenly, she was
back in our lives.
I was, like, seven.
JOYCE: Every time I
see him, I'm, um--
I'm reminded of the life
he could have had
and the mistakes I made
and how I hurt you.
And then I go.
And it's out
of sight, out of mind.
But you're reminded
every single day.
- Look, I can't even
begin to imagine
what you're feeling right now.
You have every right to be
angry with all of them.
If I were you, I probably
wouldn't even go tonight.
But if you want my opinion--
- Even if I didn't, you'd
give it to me anyway.
- Look, it's just that
for so long, you've
been telling all
of us that you want
to be treated like
an adult. Now it's
time to prove that you are one.
Show them that you can handle
this better than any of them
ever did.
Come here.
[doorbell rings]
- Hi.
- Hi, Cole.
Can I come in?
It's OK.
I mean, it's not.
It's not OK.
You're looking at 100
hours of community service,
but I appreciate it.
Can we talk?
- I didn't mean to hurt him.
- Yeah, I don't want
you to hurt him, either.
But since he's been with
you, he's been happy.
I know you probably don't see
the world of difference you made
in his life because maybe
you've told yourself
you're an obligation.
But you're not.
You know, we can't control
other people's pain, Cole.
Sometimes love-- love is pain.
It sort of reminds
us that we're alive.
There's good pain
and there's bad pain.
The good pain heals.
It makes you stronger.
And sometimes you
need that to grow.
I think somewhere
along the line,
you've convinced yourself
that you don't deserve
to be happy, that
you're better off alone,
and no one gets hurt again.
I see it in you 'cause
I see it in myself.
We deserve happiness, Cole.
We deserve to be cared for.
We deserve real, unconditional
love even if it's terrifying.
Because otherwise, we're just--
just drowning.
[suspenseful music]
- My stepdad died recently.
So I went to the funeral,
be there for my mom.
If there was any ever some
sort of chance of fixing things
between us, it's gone now.
When I was 12, my stepdad
raped me for the first time.
Then it happened 10
times after that.
When I told my mom about it,
she refused to believe it.
She still does.
Everything had to be so fucking
perfect in my family.
And you know what?
I don't care, OK?
I don't care that it happened to
me 'cause it's not like fucking
caring could turn back time.
But my mom, she
should have cared.
She should have cared
enough to fucking help.
- I'm so sorry.
[organ music]
- I'm glad you came.
- Yeah.
- Your hair looks nice.
- It's OK.
I didn't think you'd come.
- Oh, I heard this place
has a nice open bar.
I owe you so much
more than an apology.
I--
JACKSON: I don't want
an apology, Cole.
I just want you.
- I'm madly in love
with you, Jackson.
It terrifies me.
And I have all
these parts of me,
these broken, damaged pieces,
and I want you to see it all.
It's just I don't--
[jonathan sharp, "nicotine"]
You were under my skin
like a slow burn
Didn't know love
could hit like that
- I love you too.
--I'd be the one
to hold your world up
when you started
to collapse
And maybe you knew it too
But you held your breath
like a drag too deep
Like a truth unsaid
You were scared to want me
Scared to need me
Like I was nicotine
- Ty.
- What are you
expecting me to say?
- Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I just-- just hope you
can at least listen, OK?
Look, I know there's
nothing that I can
say that will make this right.
There's no excuse.
- Then don't make one up.
[soft piano music]
- This is why I
haven't said anything
because I've been terrified,
terrified for years
of losing you, hurting you.
- And you thought lying
to me for my whole life
would prevent that?
- When would have been
a good time to tell you?
When would this have
been easy to do?
During the divorce?
Your childhood?
Is it so unreasonable
to understand
that I might have
needed time to figure
out how to deal with this?
All I can say is I love you.
I love you so much.
I always have.
[melancholy music]
TYLER: Thanks for the ride.
COLE: Yeah, no problem.
Actually, Ty, can you
hang back for a sec?
Do you mind?
- No.
- Good.
- Have a good night.
Love you.
- Love you too.
All right, Ty, I
know what's going on.
- Yeah?
And you think you're the person
to be talking to me about it?
I barely even know you.
- Yeah, you're right.
You don't know me.
So let me tell you
a little bit about me.
A few weeks ago, I saw
my mom for the first time
in seven years.
And it will probably be my last.
Her choice, not mine.
- It's not the same thing.
- Yeah, you're right.
It's not.
My mother abandoned me.
Yours has been fighting
for you this entire time.
No one's expecting you
to be OK with all this.
But if you want help,
if you want answers,
there's someone inside there
who will always protect you,
even if you don't recognize
that's what they're doing.
Who will always try
to do the best for you,
even if she makes a mistake.
And who will always
accept you no matter
how much shit you toss at her.
Tyler, you got a choice
to make, all right?
We all have choices.
Just to make sure it's
one you can live with.
All right.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "LEAVE THIS
WORLD LONELY"]
[engine starts]
So take my hand
before it's too late
And don't let me leave
this world lonely
I feel the war
inside your chest
The way you drown
in your own breath
Like loving me might
tear the seams of the life
you built on quiet dreams
But what if the sky
doesn't fall?
What if your heart
was right all along?
What if love
was never wrong?
And running is
Don't let me go where
you won't follow
Don't let the fear
steal our tomorrow
We are more than
borrowed time
More than ghosts
who lived a lie
So take my hand
before it's too late
And don't let me leave
this world lonely
One day, the sun
will set on me
And you will trace
my memory
With shaking hands
and quiet shame
And wish you'd whispered
my name before the silence
took my place
So don't let me go
where you won't follow
Don't let regret
be your tomorrow
We are more than
borrowed time
More than ghosts
who lived a lie
So take my hand
before it's too late
And don't let me leave
this world lonely
You hold your breath
when I get too close
Love was never
meant to be a ghost
[melancholy music]
[light music]
JESSICA (ON PHONE): Cole,
it's Dr. McCall again.
It's now been a week since
you missed your last session.
If I don't hear
from you today, I
have no choice
but to file a report
that you haven't been keeping
up with your appointments.
Please, call me.
[knock on door]
- Dr. McCall, Cole Davis
is here to see you.
JESSICA: Oh, um,
yeah, send him in.
Cole.
- Hey.
- Where have you been?
- You know, around.
- Hmm.
Um, I'll have no
choice but to report
that you've been
missing appointments
if you keep this up.
- Whoa, Jess.
Slow down, OK?
You know what would happen.
They'd send me to prison.
And I mean, look
at my face, right?
Somebody like me, I'm gonna
have too many boyfriends.
So look, this thing we got
going on, it's not working out.
So I think maybe you
should type to your people,
let them know that
I'm fixed, and we can
both move on with our lives.
- Oh, OK.
Um, except you're not fixed,
Cole, because nobody is.
And this is the agreement
that you and your lawyer made.
You've missed two out
of five appointments.
- Wait, two and six.
- No, because this is
not an appointment.
And since it's not
an appointment,
I'm gonna have to ask you to
please make one on your way out.
- OK.
All right.
You know, I thought it'd be
a lot easier 'cause you're hot
'cause, you know,
talking to ugly people
sucks, but you're gonna make
this a real fucking chore.
- Goodbye, Cole.
COLE: Yeah, bye.
[light music]
- Come on out, Cole.
We're ready whenever you are.
- Hey.
Hey, Hey.
Whoa, wait up.
I'm Cole.
- Jackson.
- Yeah, so I, uh, saw you really
checking out my dick back there.
- Yeah, I was drawing you.
- Nah, but you were, like,
really spending time on it.
Getting it just right.
Hey, look, I don't blame you.
I got a massive cock.
- OK.
- So what do you do?
You're in, uh, art
school, I guess?
- What gave that away?
- Well, don't you think that's a
bit of a fucking waste of money?
- And what do you do?
- I'm in law school.
- Yeah, that explains
the douchebag routine.
- Hey, hey.
Whoa.
You want to-- you want to get
something to eat sometime
maybe, like a burger and fries?
Or I mean, we could do other
things with our mouths.
I'm talking you sucking my dick.
- Wow.
- I mean, you spent three
hours sketching it, right?
- Can't you just fuck off?
- Whoa!
Hey, yo, come back.
Come back, man.
Come back.
Listen, why don't
you call me sometime?
Look, my number is 705--
- OK, let me just
write that down.
- Oh, finally.
Thank you very much.
[jazz music]
Mm.
Our meal should really
come at the same--
anyway, I tell you,
if your father was still alive,
he would be horrified about
the way that boy has turned out.
You've always been
too easy on him.
That's why he is
the way he is, you know?
Please tell me he
has at least shaved
that ridiculous
looking goatee that he
had the last time I saw him.
He looked like a-- a Yeti.
[chuckles] I blame those
damn arts programs.
Kids are becoming freaks.
Are you actually
going to eat that?
Joyce says you haven't
returned her calls.
- It's because I
have nothing to say.
- She's trying to make
sure you're OK.
She just wants your opinion.
- No, she wants my permission.
- Well, it's not like
either of you are innocent.
At least she's trying, which
is more than you can say.
I thought we talked
about your hair.
Hmm.
I'm sure this is not
the wine I ordered.
Excuse me.
This isn't what I--
- Literally insult after
insult after insult.
I feel like a teenager, and I
can't do anything right at all.
I have three degrees.
And yet somehow-- somehow, I
still embarrass this woman.
Nothing is ever enough for her.
Just-- what?
- In all the time
I've known you,
you have never spent 45
minutes talking about a comment
your mother made
about your hair.
- Well, this is therapy,
and I'm supposed
to talk about my mother.
- Yes, but this feels
like a deflection.
Could there be
something else going on?
I noticed you very quickly
brushed by the details
about your sister's engagement.
- Yes, but that's
because this isn't about Joy.
- This engagement can't be easy.
Dragging everything back up.
It's understandable if it hurts.
Have you thought about
taking some time off?
- I'm fine.
- It's not just
for you, Jessica.
I'm worried about your patients.
- Hmm.
- Who are we really helping
when we're not mentally healthy?
- Uh-oh.
Looks like our time's up.
- You are the only patient
I who cuts her own sessions.
- Yeah, well, guess
I'm not used to being
on this side of the couch.
See you next week.
[melancholy music]
How are rowing tryouts?
- Fine.
- You think you'll
make the team?
So how are you feeling
about your dad's engagement?
- I know what you're doing.
- I understand if it's hard.
This must be really confusing.
- Stop talking to me
like I'm a child.
And don't try and pin whatever
you're feeling on me, OK?
You want to bitch to someone,
bitch to dad, bitch to Joy.
- Tyler, I'm just
trying to talk to you.
TYLER: I got homework.
[sultry music]
[groaning, moaning]
[panting]
- Hey, what are
you doing tonight?
- Um, I'm meeting
up with some people.
Why?
- Never mind.
It's all good.
- You should go tonight.
It's two for one
night at The Junction.
- Yeah.
Yeah, maybe.
- OK, cool.
See you later.
[melancholy music]
[JONATHAN SHARP,
"YOUNG, HUNG & BROKE"]
They all know my name
I'm young, hung, and broke
Got a pretty face
But I'm the punchline
to the joke
I ain't got much
But I know how to stroke
Living on the edge
Yeah, I'm young and broke
- Uh, can I get your number?
- Why?
- Maybe-- maybe we could
do this again sometime.
- Yeah, maybe.
Find me.
[melancholy music]
And then he slid his hand into
my pants, grabbing all of me.
I was so fucking hard.
And then his tongue
went into my throat.
It tasted like whiskey
and cigarettes.
And then he was fucking
me over a garbage can,
you know, fucking me deep.
And before you know it, I--
was all over.
I mean, he pulled up his
pants, and I pulled up mine.
And that's the story of how I
lost my virginity to a lawyer
in an alleyway.
You know, come to think
of it, that's--
that's probably why I
wanted to go to law school.
- Interesting.
Was any of that true?
- No, but it was
a good story, right?
- You realize you're
wasting your time?
- Isn't this the shit
you want to hear?
- Not if it isn't true.
I can't help you if you're
gonna keep playing these games.
- Me and you both know you
don't want to be here, OK?
So you can cut the act.
- Do you even want help, Cole?
- I don't need it.
I don't need help, OK?
Look at me.
I'm fine.
- Really?
- Yes.
- People who are fine
don't generally drive
into oncoming traffic for fun.
[suspenseful music]
- The voices told me.
The voices.
They told me to do it.
- OK, yeah.
I can't so I'm just gonna
release you back to the court.
COLE: OK, OK.
Calm down, Jess, OK?
You want to talk
about my shitty life?
We can next week.
- Can't wait.
COLE: OK.
- Wonderful.
COLE: Hey, since I'm
here, do you have
any more of those happy pills?
- Goodbye, Cole.
- All right.
[light music]
- Can I help you?
COLE: Yeah, yeah, you can.
Uh, had a dream
about you last night.
- Fuck's sake's.
You don't give up, do you?
- Whoa.
Who said it had
anything to do with sex?
It was actually just
about me and Tom Hanks.
We were having a little rap
battle at a KFC parking lot.
And you just happened
to be recording it.
Look, the fact I
got a raging hard-on
for you is totally irrelevant.
What are you doing?
- I'm looking
for my rape whistle.
- Hey, look, man, I normally
don't have to try this hard.
I mean, look at me.
Rejection's a totally
foreign concept.
- Yeah, I know, Cole.
Do you honestly think
I haven't seen you
before at the clubs and stuff?
Leaving with someone
new every single time.
- OK, so?
- So I'm not interested
in being your fucking Chuck.
- Why do you think
that's all I want?
- Have you even heard
the way that you talk?
It's fucking disgusting.
And you just sound
desperate and pathetic.
- You don't know
the first thing about me.
- No, but I can tell that you're
obviously alone for a reason.
And you're overcompensating
pretty fucking hard.
- Go fuck yourself.
- I'll get right on that.
[melancholy music]
[groaning, moaning]
- OK, sweetie, just breathe in.
There we go.
And do not forget you have
a tuxedo fitting on Saturday.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- And please, have
that conversation
you've been putting off
with a certain someone
about that tacky wooden
jewelry he always
seems to be wearing these days.
He is going to a wedding,
not the tiki-tiki room.
- Jess, what do you think?
Jess?
- It's nice.
It's nice.
- You're not even looking.
- Mom, is that your veil?
You told me that I couldn't
wear that to my wedding.
- Well, it didn't
go with your dress.
I would have given it you--
- Actually, I was just thinking.
Jess, um, if you--
if you have time,
maybe you want to help with some
of the wedding preparations?
- Aw.
- You know why that's
not an option, right?
Please tell me that you know.
- Why can't you be happy for me?
- Oh, my God.
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Jess.
- What?
- I need to go back to work.
- Oh, for heaven's sake.
JESSICA: Back to work.
- No, you're not leaving.
- My God.
You're such a party pooper.
- Oh, you can't say anything.
- Oh, she's so dramatic.
- Oh, honey, you're
gonna have to hold
your stomach in a little bit.
- Mom.
- Just a bit.
[engine starts]
DR. KELLER: What made you
go to Joyce yesterday?
- She wanted to show
me the dress.
- That's what she wanted.
But you've made it
very clear you're
uncomfortable with all
of this, so what do you get out
of prioritizing what Joy wants?
- I-- I know the logical thing
would be to hate her, but
as uncomfortable as I feel, I--
I would feel worse if she
wasn't a part of my life.
DR. KELLER: Why?
- Because she's my sister.
You're supposed to be able
to turn to family for anything.
- Yes.
Can you?
Can they even be there
for you when they don't
know what's weighing on you?
[somber music]
- Hey.
- What do you want?
- I don't know.
I guess to say I'm sorry.
COLE: Ah, you're good.
You're good.
- Look, I didn't
think that what I said
was gonna get to you like this.
COLE: No, you didn't.
You wrote me off without even
giving me a fucking chance.
- Well, how do you expect me
to react when you come on to me
like a fucking freight train?
- 'Cause I'm attracted to you.
- So that makes it OK?
- No.
- Look, maybe what I
said was a little harsh.
- No, no, you were spot on.
I'm an absolute piece
of fucking shit.
- Look, I'm sorry.
I don't know what
you want me to say.
COLE: Fuck off,
Jackson, all right?
I don't need your judgment
on top of your pity.
[soft piano music]
- Hey, I didn't
know you were home.
What are you working on?
- Can you not?
I'm just trying to study.
- What's going on with you?
- Nothing.
- No, it's not nothing.
You've been brutal
to me for weeks.
I'm getting pretty tired of it.
You know, nothing can be
fixed without communication.
Does this have anything to do
with your dad's engagement?
- You know what, Mom?
Yes, it does.
JESSICA: OK.
I understand why you're upset.
- Do you?
You want to talk
about communication?
Fine.
Why don't you tell
me about the affair?
- What?
- Why don't you tell
me the real reason
that you and dad split up?
Why you acted like you
were some kind of victim
through the whole thing, crying
yourself to sleep every night,
making me think that he was
to blame for walking out.
I hated him
for months, for months.
And you just let me.
And to top it all off, you
spent the last few years
being awkward around me,
studying me constantly
to see if I had pieced it all
together, walking on eggshells
and making me feel
even more awkward,
like I was the one who
had done something wrong.
- Tyler, I don't--
- And then dad finally treats
me like a fucking adult
and tells me about it.
You had an affair on him.
You're the reason
our family fell apart.
So yeah, Mom, it is
about the wedding.
Is that enough
communication for you?
I want to live with Dad.
[panting, groaning]
[sultry music]
- Just, uh, hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I need a-- I need a drink.
- What's going on?
Hey, you good?
COLE: Yeah, yeah.
Uh, just need a second.
- What's the problem?
- Yeah, I'm just--
I'm just not in the mood.
- Well, let me get
you in the mood.
- Hey, Lindsay.
Would you fucking stop?
- Whoa.
What is your problem, man?
- Like, can't you do something
else besides fucking,
like, maybe talking for once?
- You want to talk?
COLE: Yeah, talk.
That thing people do
with their fucking mouths
when they don't
have a cock in it.
- We don't talk, Cole.
We aren't friends.
You are just a dick to me.
I thought that's all you wanted.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a dick.
All right.
- OK, so you get what this is.
So stop being a little
bitch and fuck me.
- You know what?
I got something
fucking better for you.
Why don't you take
your fucking shit--
- Whoa.
- And go fuck yourself.
- Holy shit, man.
Relax.
Are you kidding me?
- Look, I guess I am just a
fucking dick to you, all right?
Now, get the fuck out.
- OK, I'm happy to.
[melancholy music]
- [groaning]
[crying]
[television chatter]
- Hey.
COLE: Hey.
- What's up?
Does he fight you much?
- Oh, not really.
I mean, he always just wants
to stay up when I'm here so,
you know.
- Yeah, perks
of being a cool uncle.
Usually takes me, like,
an hour to get him to sleep.
He misses you, Cole.
He's always asking for you.
- I know.
I know.
I know.
I just-- I didn't want
to come here and have you guys
deal with my shit, you know?
- Yeah, I know.
We're your family.
We're the part of your shit.
Can we please talk--
- It's OK.
We don't need to talk about it.
- I just--
I don't-- I don't want you
to get to such a point again.
You have a lot of family
that care about you--
me, Oliver, Trevor, mom.
Just don't forget.
We love you.
["IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL"
PLAYING]
When peace like a river
Attendeth my way
When sorrows like
sea billows row
Whatever my lot
Thou hast taught me to say
It is well
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul
[clapping]
JACKSON: Hey.
- Hey.
- I, um, didn't expect to look
up and see you sitting out here.
- Yeah, you're the last
person I'd expect
to be in a place like this.
- Why?
Because I'm gay, I
can't be a Christian?
- Why is it always
a fucking fight with you?
- Hey, watch your mouth.
You're in a fucking church.
- Didn't know you can sing.
- Yeah, well, I
guess neither of us
really know a whole lot
about each other, do we?
- Yeah.
- Look, I'll see you around, OK?
[melancholy music]
JESSICA: Let's talk
about the car accident.
You told the court he
wanted to hurt yourself.
[engine roars, tires screech]
Chose a very public
way to do so.
- You think I was
looking for attention?
- No.
No, I think you were
looking for support.
- I wasn't trying
to kill myself, OK?
I'm just tired.
- Just wanted something
else to think about?
- Don't you ever?
- This isn't about me.
Yeah, the world can be
pretty hard to live in.
So I guess there's some days
where I wonder what it would
be like to just fade away.
- What stops you?
- Hope.
My family.
People that need me.
And mostly the knowledge
that feelings don't last.
- That sounds like some
class A bullshit, Jessica.
What else are you
gonna tell me, huh?
Live, laugh, love?
Everything gets
better with time?
- Some days will.
We have to find the things
in life that make it worthwhile.
- OK.
So tell me, what are
those things, right?
Society sucks.
Everything's
a fucking controversy.
Everybody's so easily
offended, yet so ready
to be offensive,
to hold everyone
accountable except
for themselves.
And they wait.
They wait for a reason
to hate you.
You're never gonna
be gay enough,
straight enough, rich
enough, poor enough,
even fucking depressed enough.
They just keep piling on, one
after the other, until you
fucking can't take it anymore.
And then they wonder why
you want to kill yourself.
You know what?
I would rather the world
fucking hate me
right away than for me
to walk on eggshells
for the rest of my life waiting
for them, waiting for the chance
that I slip up and they can
say, aha, we got him now.
I'm done.
I'm tired.
- Do you ever find you're
angry with yourself?
- That's a stupid question.
Isn't everybody
angry at themselves?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I suppose, but how do
you feel about your sexuality?
- My life isn't tragic
'cause I sleep with men.
I sleep with men, and my life
has tragedy in it.
Those are two separate
fucking things.
- You were nine when
your father died.
Tell me about that.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I was nine so what
do you remember
when you were a kid, right?
Dad was a-- a doctor with
Doctors Without Borders.
And he was there fighting
the Ebola outbreak in the Congo.
He just never came home.
- What about your mother?
Why don't you speak
to her anymore?
[cell phone vibrates]
I'm so sorry.
I thought it was on silent.
- I'm kind of tired anyways.
Maybe we can finish here.
- Sure.
Yeah, we can finish for today.
[door closes]
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Hello.
- Hey, you called?
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Oh, hi.
Yeah, do you still
have that Paris book?
- Yeah, why?
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Well, mom was
thinking it might be fun to have
a Paris themed wedding shower.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
JOYCE (ON PHONE): What?
JESSICA: Joy, I don't care.
You can have the book.
I don't care about
the stupid book.
But that's not why
you're calling about, OK?
You're calling to try and have
a conversation with me
so you can pretend that
everything's OK between us.
JOYCE (ON PHONE): Oh, is
this your professional
take on this then?
- Please stop trying to
overcompensate for how awkward
you know this is for me.
JOYCE (ON PHONE): God, OK, fine.
I won't call you again.
- Great, great.
Goodbye.
[line drops]
- I forgot my backpack.
I'll see you next week?
- Yeah.
[melancholy music]
Wow.
Looks like some
things never change.
You should get tested for HPV.
- It's the middle of the day.
Shouldn't you be off snacking
on the souls of children?
- Tyler told me about
your conversation.
I had an affair.
Really?
- Well, what did you
expect me to tell him?
JESSICA: What about the truth?
- Uh, really?
Thought we decided against that.
- No.
No, we didn't.
We decided that we would tell
him together when he was ready,
not keep throwing each other
under the bus to lie to him.
- Let's be honest, Jessica.
If you really thought
he should know,
you would have said
something by now.
I'm sorry, OK?
He started asking
questions about everything,
our whole history, details
about the divorce, about Joy.
Things slipped out,
and I just panicked.
- I need you to take him.
- What?
- He's not happy
with me anymore,
so I need you to take him.
- I'm not taking him.
JESSICA: He's your son.
- You wanted him.
I know that you'll
never forgive me.
And I don't blame
you, but I am sorry.
I-- he might be
ready, but I'm not.
- Unbelievable.
DAVID: You've always
been his constant.
And he will forgive
you eventually once he
processes this new information.
But I'm the one that keeps
screwing up in his eyes, Jess.
I'm a lot closer to actually
losing him than you are.
So I don't want
to make things worse.
You're not gonna say
anything, are you?
- No.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "FUCK WITH MY
HEAD"]
Putting it on a shelf
You love the power
I hate the pain
But there I am,
calling out your name
You fuck with my head
And I'll let you in
You pull me close
Then you leave again
- Do you want a shot?
- I can't drink anymore.
- What?
- I said I can't drink anymore--
- Sorry, I can't hear
you over the sound
of your vagina queefing.
Excuse me.
Hey, ball sack with testicles.
JACKSON: Oh, my God, Abby.
Seriously?
- Hi.
- Look, my friend here, he's
not bad to look at, right?
- Seriously?
- He wants you inside him.
JACKSON: Oh, my God.
- All like, what?
9 inches of you?
- Oh, my God.
You're so-- why do you do this?
- Don't act like
I don't catch you
checking him out all the time.
- Ooh, that's interesting.
- Tequila makes his
clothes fall off.
And he has a playlist
on his phone of songs
he wants to be plied to.
I'm gonna go dance.
Enjoy.
Thanks.
- Hey, that's mine.
JACKSON: I am so sorry for her.
- It's all good.
It doesn't bother me.
But you've got me locked
in this twisted dance
You took me down
- I'm also sorry about
the other day as well.
- Don't even worry about it.
I overreacted.
- No, I was--
I was a dick.
COLE: Let me buy you a drink.
- You really don't
need to do that.
- Hey, let me buy
you a fucking drink.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "BEING A DICK
TO ME WON'T MAKE YOU STRAIGHT"]
So go bury the truth
you can't face
You can call me names
Push me around
But it won't silence
the voice you found
Hurt me all you want
But it's too late
Being a dick to me
won't make you straight
The joke's in hard
[JONATHAN SHARP, "CAN'T THINK
STRAIGHT"]
You're messing with my mind
A guy like you shouldn't
leave me paralyzed
- So why do you think
you push people away?
- Wow.
- What?
- Where did that even come from?
I thought we weren't gonna
have any awkward questions.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Was that awkward?
- Yeah.
- Guess I must just be drunk.
Confused
Just don't know what to say
But you're in my head
Can't think straight
I mean, you're
obviously attractive.
- Mm.
- And you're smart,
and you're funny.
So why are you single?
- Why are you single?
- I'm not trying to shame
you or anything like that.
It's just doesn't get lonely,
all these one night stands,
everyone always leaving?
- Well, if we're honest,
that's all anybody ever wants.
- Not everyone.
- OK, fine.
I'll play that game.
Maybe not you.
But normal people,
that's all they want.
They just want to cum and go.
- How would you
know if you haven't
given anyone a chance to stay?
- 'Cause I know.
I mean, look around.
Everyone wants this
Saturday night.
Nobody wants to stay
for the Sunday morning.
We're not made to be
tied down at all.
We're just meant
to party, fuck, have fun.
Nobody wants to hang over.
- You're obviously hanging
around with the wrong people
because some of us want to be
there first thing in the morning
after the hangover
to take care of the person
that we're waking up next to.
[pop music]
--need permission
I was born to be free
Oh, you love to talk
But you never listen
Rewrite the past like
the truth gone missing
You're so damn good
at playing pretend
But karma keeps receipts
Guess we'll see how it ends
You smell like a saint
But your hands ain't clean
- You like that, don't you?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stop!
- Why?
- I don't want
to do it like this.
COLE: Like what?
- Like we're in a fucking porno.
- OK.
Uh--
- Look, I thought I
was wrong about you,
and I hope that I
still am, but this
is exactly what I didn't want.
Look, I'm kind
of drunk still, and
I'd like to spend
the night because I
do want to spend it with you.
- OK.
OK.
[gentle music]
[suspenseful music]
[cell phone vibrates]
- Fuck, oh.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Is that your phone?
- No.
Hey, take this and drink this.
- Thanks.
- Uh.
- Mm.
COLE: Uh.
- Mm.
COLE: Uh.
OK.
- Look, I had a time last night.
- Yeah, I did too.
Looks like we're ready
to pick up where we left off.
- [sighs] Come on.
I meant what I said last night.
I'd like to take
you out tonight.
Like on a date.
- Uh, isn't that kind of gay?
- I'll see you tonight.
- Well, this is
a nice change, Cole.
- It's him.
JESSICA: Someone you
were intimate with?
- You mean, did we fuck?
- Sure.
- No.
Actually, all we did was
cuddle, which is like--
I'm-- I'm surprised.
I don't know.
It just-- there's
something about him.
He's just different.
JESSICA: I'm really
happy for you.
However, um, I think
we should continue
where we left off last time.
Why don't we start
with your mother?
- Why don't we talk
about your mom?
Does she look like you?
Is she hot?
Is this her here?
JESSICA: That is a picture
of my sons, Tyler and Jackson--
- Jackson.
- You know Jackson?
- Yeah, I got to know
him very well last night.
- This isn't funny, Cole.
- Why?
You didn't know he liked boys?
- Of course, I know he's gay.
I just didn't know that he--
- Is it about me?
What?
Am I not good enough?
- Are you being
serious right now?
COLE: Yes, I'm being serious.
- Then I need you to go.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- I can't treat you any more.
COLE: This is
my therapy session.
- As of right now, I'm
no longer your therapist.
Go.
- Jessica, no.
- Enough.
- I'm not going.
I'm staying right here.
- I'm gonna call security.
Get out.
- Wow.
Really?
At least now I know what
you actually think about me.
So thank you.
[door slams shut]
[knocks on door]
- I thought we should talk.
Look, I don't know
how to say this,
so I'm just gonna
come out and say it.
I went to see David
yesterday, and--
- I know he's screwing
his secretary, Jess.
It's what works for us.
We're open.
Look, I don't expect
you to understand.
And you really don't have to.
I mean, it's kind of why you and
David never really worked out
and why he and I do.
You wanted different
things, and he just didn't
know how to communicate that.
And he and I are
on the same page.
- Great.
- OK.
Look, I-- I'm sorry
for how I hurt you,
and I really wish I
could take it back,
but you and I both know that
you were really unhappy with him
and he with you.
- David told Tyler
that I had an affair.
That that's the reason
for the divorce.
- Why would he do that?
- Because that's
the man you're marrying.
- Stop-- stop doing that.
You-- stop trying
to make me hate him.
- That is not what
this is about at all.
Look at me.
The only reason I'm
here telling you this
is because I think it's time.
He deserves the truth.
- This isn't just
about you, Jess.
You don't have to do this.
Not right now.
It's, like, the worst
fucking possible timing.
- Sure.
- Can you just let it go?
I have.
[melancholy music]
- I can't be here when--
- I know.
- Hey!
What the fuck?
- Why do you keep being
such a douche to mom?
- Get out.
- No, not until you tell me.
- Because she had an affair.
- No, she didn't.
- Dad told me.
JACKSON: Dad's
a lying sack of shit,
and he has been
our entire lives.
Get your head out
of your ass and
stop being such a little dick.
- I believe him.
- Well, you're an idiot, then.
And either way, it doesn't
give you the right to keep
on treating her like this.
And if you keep it up, I
promise, you I will cut you.
Now, hurry up.
I have a date.
- Why the fuck do you
even live here still?
[doorbell rings]
- Cole, what are you doing here?
- I'm here to pick up
Jackson for our date.
- He already has enough
going on right now.
- Yeah, so do I but that
doesn't matter to you, does it?
- This is exactly why I
don't want you seeing him.
- This isn't up to you.
- Hey.
You actually came.
- Of course, yeah.
- Mom, this is Cole.
- Yeah, yeah, we, um, just met.
- OK.
I'm not gonna be out too late.
- Well, he doesn't know that.
- I'll see you later.
Love you.
- Love you too.
Have fun.
JACKSON: Suburbia.
- Do you like my car?
- It's fancy.
- Yeah.
- So that's the dude
that Jackson's banging?
Did you talk to dad
about me moving in?
- Yeah, I have, but I've
changed my mind.
We're gonna work through this.
[light music]
- So are you, like,
a nachos guy or--
- I'm like a food guy.
Period.
- Me too, man.
Me too.
- Guacamole's
disgusting, though.
- Oh, the article.
- Yeah.
- The article is if you
eat one avocado per meal,
it's enough healthy
fats that you'll,
like, live longer or some shit.
JACKSON: An avocado per meal?
COLE: Yeah.
JACKSON: What do you even
do with that much avocado?
- I don't know.
You spread it on your bread or--
- Hi, um, my friend
thinks you're really hot,
so she asked me
to send you this.
- Does your friend
know I'm on a date?
- You're gay?
You're serious?
That's a fucking waste.
- Wow.
COLE: Here.
Why don't you take this back?
I'm-- I'm actually good.
- Well, OK.
Well, I'll just-- in case
you change your mind.
Maybe take one of these.
See ya.
- Yeah, her friend definitely
told her to do that.
JACKSON: Clearly.
- By the way,
Jackson, I'm not gay.
- Yeah, OK.
COLE: I'm not.
- OK, sorry.
Gay, straight, bi, whatever.
- None of those things.
- You have sex with men.
- OK, and?
- OK.
So what are you?
- I'm an experience.
No, for real.
I think living in this
world is hard enough.
So why would I make it harder by
putting myself in a little box?
I don't need a word
to define who I am.
- Hmm.
I guess I never thought
about things like that.
- How about you then, Jackson?
Who are you?
- Apparently, I'm
not as deep as you.
- Oh, you could have got
pretty deep last night.
- Why do you keep on doing that?
COLE: Do what?
- This self-defense
mechanism thing.
Do I make you
nervous or something?
- Honestly, yeah.
- Why?
COLE: I don't know.
I just don't do this,
like food, nachos, talking
about our personal life.
Like, I never do this.
I-- you're just
different, Jackson, OK?
- Well, I'm not going anywhere.
So, why law school?
- Mm.
Really?
OK.
Uh, when I was 16, I sought
emancipation from my mom
and, uh, my stepfather.
I was young.
I couldn't afford a lawyer.
So I found somebody who
was willing to fight
the case pro bono.
And if I didn't have
him in my corner,
I don't know where I'd be.
Law school is just a way of kind
of like paying it forward,
you know?
Like my good deed.
- Why did you
become emancipated?
- There's a lot
of questions about me.
Why don't we talk about you?
- OK, what do you
want to know about me?
- How's your family?
- Well, my dad is just--
he's not a good dad.
Um, my brother depends
on the day and who's around.
COLE: Mm.
- But my mom's pretty great.
- She seemed a little off
when I came to pick you up.
- Well, yeah, she's got
a lot going on right now.
My family's a little screwed
up, but I don't know,
she's the strongest
person I know.
I know she's gonna
get through it.
COLE: Mm.
- Honestly, I think there's
probably a lot more to the story
that I'm not even aware of.
But she keeps everything
in all the time.
You know, she just-- she
doesn't want to let me
and my brother see
her shit, but like,
it wouldn't bother
us if she did.
- Why don't you talk
to her about it?
JACKSON: I don't know.
I guess I've just got
to accept the fact
that sometimes I'm not entitled
to all the information.
It doesn't mean that I can't
just be there for the person,
you know?
I don't need to pry.
I just need to be there.
- Oh, cheers.
It's our first date, right?
- Cheers.
I had fun tonight.
- Yeah, me too.
- I'd invite you
in, but you know.
- Nah, don't even
worry about it.
We always got some other time.
- Hey.
- Or we could go
back to my house.
- Look, I meant what
I said last night.
I had a good time, but I
liked today better 'cause
I got to get to know you.
I want the Sunday mornings.
Goodnight.
[suspenseful music]
[bell jingles]
- Cole.
- I, uh--
I knew you'd be here.
I just-- I want to tell you,
I'm very serious about Jackson.
And I would never do
anything to hurt him.
- You told me this already.
- I know, but I thought
maybe if I showed up here,
you'd see how
committed I was and--
- I can't.
- Jess, I need
to stay in counseling.
I have probation.
I can't just-- you told
me to make things better,
and I'm trying
to make things better.
And Jackson, he just
makes it better for me.
- I know, OK, Cole?
But I can't.
It's a conflict of interest.
I'm sorry.
- I-- you know, I--
I know you never
really liked me,
and I never really said that.
And I wasn't easy on you.
I understand.
Somehow, I think maybe
if I stayed in counseling,
you could have helped me.
But thank you for at least
trying your best.
- I don't dislike you, Cole.
[bell jingles]
[soft music]
- Why do you keep staring at me?
- No reason.
Are you going out again tonight?
- Yeah, eventually.
JESSICA: You've been spending
a lot of time with this guy
lately.
- Yeah, that's what happens
when you're dating somebody.
- You're-- you're
dating, like, officially?
- Yeah.
- But it's only been two weeks.
Isn't that a little fast?
- What is with
all the questions?
Do you not like
Cole or something?
You don't even know him yet.
- Never mind.
Tyler, um, your grandma wants
to have dinner with the two
of us tomorrow night.
- What?
Why?
- Because she hasn't
seen you for weeks.
I don't know.
- Well, why doesn't
Jackson have to go?
- Because grandma's
a fucking psycho.
JESSICA: Hey.
JACKSON: Well, she is.
- Because she only
asked for you.
- It's probably
because the oldest is such
a disappointment, isn't it?
- Stop.
- It has its benefits.
[light music]
Cole, come on.
Hey, come on.
- What?
I just want to make
you feel good.
- I do feel good.
- Fine.
OK, I'm fine.
I'm completely fine.
JACKSON: OK, OK.
All right.
Do you have a condom?
- Yes.
- Yeah, so do I.
MAN: Get in the mood.
[melancholy music]
Hey, what's wrong
with you, baby?
What's wrong, baby?
COLE: Stop.
Stop.
JACKSON: Are you all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.
I just-- I can't right now.
- Well, then I
told the caterer, I
don't care about
your traditional menu options.
None of it is gourmet, which
is what I am paying for.
I mean, please, filet mignon?
What are we, savages?
Is this some sort of prom night?
I mean, if we wanted to be
the laughingstock of the season,
we'd just have
a pig roast or host
a reception on the front lawn
or some community center.
What are you wearing?
You look like an avocado.
- You wanted to talk
to Tyler about something?
- Oh, yes.
Right, right.
Hang on.
There.
There.
- $50,000?
- Mom, really?
- Well, you're going off
to university next year.
I mean, it isn't
fair for you to have
to work when you're supposed
to be focusing on your studies
and maybe finding a girlfriend.
- Mom, you should have
discussed this with me first.
- Why would I have
to discuss it with you
if I want to give
my grandson a gift?
- Because you have
two grandsons.
- Well, if the eldest--
- Jackson.
His name is Jackson.
I'm so sick of the way
you talk about him.
- I am not about to waste
my money on some arts program.
You do something
useful with that.
TYLER: Hey!
What--
- You are not buying
my son's affection.
You're certainly not choosing
one of my kids over the other.
Furthermore, he doesn't
need your money.
He has a lot more than
that waiting for him
when he graduates, which he
can use on whatever he wants,
whether it's art school
or not because he's my son,
and he can be whoever
he wants to be.
Let's go.
TYLER: Can I have my phone back?
Thanks.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "I CAN'T KEEP
MY HANDS OFF YOU"]
I can't keep
my hands off you
Every inch I want
to explore, too
Let's get reckless
Let's get loud
You've got me hooked
I can't back down
I'm all in
Let's forget the rules
Tonight, I'm the one
who's in control of you
I can't keep
my hands off you
- Have I ever told you
that you have a great body?
- Yeah, yeah.
You do it all the time.
- It's just like every time
you pose for our art class,
you give me a hard on.
Jax, can I make out
with your boyfriend?
- Yeah, I don't think so.
ABBY: Why?
I'll let you make out with mine.
- I don't want to make
out with yours.
No offense.
ABBY: Come on.
Can you just kiss
my best friend?
JACKSON: Oh, God, Abby.
- Come on, kiss him.
- Kiss him.
- Kiss him.
Do it.
Do it, do it, do it.
[gasps] Yeah, that is hot.
Add some tongue.
- Oh, God.
- Don't act like you
don't like it, bitch.
- You're still not making
out with my boyfriend.
- All right.
Scott, show him your dick.
JACKSON: I think it's
time for us to go home.
- Why?
We're just starting
to have some fun.
- Hi.
Hey.
Could I have another
drink, please?
- Sweetie, he doesn't work here.
- I'm going up anyways.
What do you want?
- Alcohol.
- Helpful.
- Did I ever tell you the time
that Jackson and I had sex?
- No, we didn't.
ABBY: Yes, we did.
I'm the reason he's gay.
You're welcome.
- We did not have sex.
- Private conversation.
Anyway, yeah, he asked me
to stick a finger up his no,
no hole.
And I was like,
yeah, he's a homo.
- I can say from
personal experience
that that's probably not
how the conversation went.
I mean, she casually asks
you if you're adventurous,
and the next thing you
she's two knuckles deep,
finger raping you up the ass.
- Man, that's-- that's--
that's not funny.
ABBY: Yeah, it's not funny.
It's not rape if you like it.
COLE: That's not fucking funny.
MAN: Dude, come down.
Didn't mean anything.
- Yeah, of course not.
Both of you don't
think about what you
say before you fucking say it.
I'm gonna go get, uh--
get some fresh air.
- Man, I'm sorry.
- I'll be back.
- He's dark.
- Hey.
You OK?
- I'm just--
I didn't mean to make
such a stupid scene.
JACKSON: It's fine, man.
Don't worry about that.
Do you want to talk about it?
- What's there to talk about?
- I mean, obviously, you're
going through something.
- I don't need any kind
of pity or judgment.
- Hey, I will never pity you,
and I will never judge you, OK?
I just want to be here for you.
- Well, I know that
other people in the world
have it a lot harder than I do.
- So that doesn't
make what you're
going through any less valid.
- It's cold out.
You don't have to stay
outside with me, OK?
- I want to.
I just want to be
here with you, OK?
I want you to know
that you're not alone.
DR. KELLER: You know you don't
owe anyone a thing, right?
Not your mom, not Joy,
certainly not David.
- I know.
DR. KELLER: No, Jessica.
Listen to me.
You don't owe anyone anything.
You've been holding it
together for everyone else.
It's time you prioritize
your mental health.
And if living
honestly alleviates
some negative
feelings, you need to.
- Yeah, but that's just gonna
make it a bigger fucking
mess for everybody else.
- That's something that can
be worked out over time.
That nagging guilt, the fear of
the unknown, the regret, that's
what's keeping you in limbo.
And it's eating you alive.
- Um, next Friday at 3:30.
- Hey, Jessica.
- What are you doing here?
- Well, you know I need
to keep up my probation,
so what do you think
I'm doing here?
Can I go up now?
[light music]
- Good to see you again, Cole.
JACKSON: Thank you.
ABBY: Can I show you mine?
JACKSON: Sure.
- Only serious
opinions only, OK?
- Oh, my God.
What is wrong with you?
- Girl can dream.
JACKSON: You're disgusting.
- I love it.
- So beautiful, the lake.
- Mm.
- And the stars.
I don't see them often.
You're awfully quiet.
- Yeah.
You know my dad's wedding
is coming up, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh.
- OK, I don't want to jinx
anything by asking too soon,
but do you want to come with me?
- Jackson, you know
I don't do weddings.
- There's an open bar.
- I'm in.
- God forbid you
just do something
'cause I'm your boyfriend.
- Oh, you know I
like to get hard.
I like to be a--
I like to be difficult.
- Yeah, ain't that the truth.
- OK.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, I really
like you, Jackson.
- I really like you, too.
- I just, uh--
I just don't ever want
to hurt you, you know?
- OK, so then don't.
- Let's go home.
- OK.
[gentle music]
[panting, groaning]
[suspenseful music]
[cell phone vibrates]
- Hello.
What's wrong?
Uh, I don't know, sis.
I, uh-- OK, yeah, I'll be there.
I'll be there.
- Who was that?
- That was just my--
my sister Cassie.
Um, my stepfather
died last night, so--
- Oh, my God.
Babe, are you OK?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
- I'm so sorry.
Is there anything I can do?
- No, don't worry about it.
- Oh, when's the funeral?
- I think she said
next Saturday, so--
- OK, I can--
I can be there with you.
- It's fine.
Look, I really don't
want you there, OK?
- Oh, babe, you're gonna
need somebody there.
- I said I'm fucking fine.
My stepfather died last night.
- Cole, I'm sorry.
- Trust me, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I, uh-- I'm actually glad.
DR. KELLER: Why do you say that?
- He just wasn't a good person.
- Why do you say he
wasn't a good person?
COLE: Just wasn't.
He did things.
Destructive things.
Hurtful things.
He hurt people.
The world is a better
place without him in it.
- It's never really
that simple, is it?
You can dislike someone
and still grieve their loss.
And sometimes that person
takes something with them
that you can't get back.
Tell me more about these
destructive things.
- We're not doing that.
I'm not talking about him.
Sorry.
- What would happen
if we talked about him--
- We're not going to talk
about him because I'm
done with that topic.
What you need
to understand is that this
is something I'm trying
to deal with on my own, OK?
And I'm sick of everyone trying
to force me to talk about it.
DR. KELLER: Who do
you mean by everyone?
- You, Cassie Jackson,
my old therapist.
You all know what happened, so
stop with the stupid questions,
OK?
- Cole, look, I--
I don't know what happened,
but I can see that you're
carrying a lot of pain.
But do you think
everyone is asking
out of nosiness or concern?
- No, I know why
everybody is asking.
They're asking 'cause
they're trying to fix it.
Like if somehow I open up about
it, it'll make them feel better.
It's always about
them, what they want,
what they think I need.
Do you know how
fucking awkward it
is to console someone because
they're hurting because I
tried to fucking kill myself?
This isn't one thing that
can be fixed by one person,
but I'm working through it, OK?
I am.
You'll all know
when I'm ready and
when I get there,
'cause that's when I'll
be willing to talk about it.
- How does next Friday work?
- Uh, no.
Can I-- how about Wednesday?
- Wednesday.
- Oh, I, uh--
I forgot my backpack.
I'm just gonna quickly--
[suspenseful music]
- Look, I know you
said you're fine,
but I cleared
my schedule on Saturday
just in case you
change your mind
and want me to go with
you to the funeral.
- For fuck's sake's, Jackson.
How many times do I
have to say drop it?
[horn honks]
When I say I don't
want you there,
I don't fucking want you there.
- OK, can you just pull
the car fucking forward?
- Yes, I can fucking
pull forward, all right?
I don't need you to instruct
me on every part of my life.
I can survive without you.
You know how fucking
annoying it is
to be asked the same
questions all the time?
Like, are you OK?
What's wrong?
Do you want to talk about it?
Like, somehow you knowing
is gonna fix things.
- OK, I'm sorry.
I don't know what
to do here, OK?
I'm just trying to let you
know that I'm here for.
- I get it.
I get it, OK?
You want to be here for me.
But this is not fucking about
you, Jackson, all right?
I do not want to fucking
talk about it, OK?
Like, I-- you're
always fucking around.
I can't catch a break.
- OK, I'm sorry.
- I need fucking space, OK?
I can't fucking breathe.
You're suffocating me.
- You told me you were
never gonna hurt me.
- Yeah, so maybe we
should end things now,
so I don't really
fucking hurt you.
- It's a little
late for that when
I'm already in love with you.
Don't do this, please.
- No, don't-- don't
fucking touch me, OK?
[somber music]
- Hey.
Hey.
Jax, what's wrong?
- [sniffs] Cole just
broke up with me.
- Oh, honey.
I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, right, Mom.
You didn't even like him.
- That is not true.
- Yeah, it is.
You didn't even get to know
him 'cause if you did,
you would have seen that
he's not just some guy
that it didn't work out with.
I'm so in love with him.
That's why he's
breaking up with me.
- You're in love with him?
JACKSON: Yeah, Mom.
And he deserves to be loved.
He deserves to have
someone there.
But he's too scared to let
people see all the bad shit
that he's got going on.
He's a lot like you like that.
DR. KELLER (ON
RECORDING): So, what
brings you in today, Jessica?
JESSICA (ON RECORDING):
My marriage.
It's over as of yesterday.
I just signed
the divorce papers.
[knocks on door]
- Hello?
- Are you Joy?
Joy McCall?
- What is that?
- That's all of the audio
recordings of your sister's
therapy sessions.
- That's sick.
Are you serious?
- Yeah, I am, you know.
I make a lot of bad
choices, so fuck it.
What's one more?
- I don't know what you
expect me to do here.
But I am-- I am--
I am not listening to that.
- Why?
'Cause you're afraid
of what's on there?
- Because it's
an invasion of privacy.
COLE: You just don't want
to hear what it's doing to her.
People like you
and me have no fucking
issue lying to everyone
else around us
but not Jessica, your sister.
- You know, she doesn't need
you to speak up for her.
She is more than capable.
COLE: Right.
She doesn't.
And you know she
wouldn't if it means
someone else is gonna get hurt.
But that's not what
this is about, OK?
It's about support.
You've had it your whole
fucking life, and she hasn't.
She's had to deal with this
and a lot more all on her own.
And trust me when
I say this, it's
a lot more manageable when you
have someone in your corner.
So, yeah, she shouldn't have
to ask, especially not from you.
[melancholy music]
- I think you should go.
[chatter]
- Hey, Ma.
- Cole.
Oh.
Hi, Cole.
- It's a nice service.
Mom, I-- I missed you.
I really did.
- Why are you here?
- I just told you why I'm here.
It's 'cause I missed you.
Because I thought you needed me.
- Like that suddenly matters.
- Mom, I'm not trying
to start a fight.
Ma, can you-- can you
at least look at me?
- Yes, I see you.
You happy?
- Mom, you know how hard it
was for me to come here today?
KATHERINE: Then why did you?
You show up today of all
days, after seven years
of shutting me out
so you can what,
pretend everything is fine?
- Pretend?
That's pretty fucking
ironic coming from you.
- Look, I am sorry for what
you think happened.
- I don't think
anything happened, OK?
It did happen.
It happened 11 times, Mom.
11 fucking times.
- How dare you start all of this
all again today of all days?
Do you really hate me this much?
- I don't hate you, Mom.
I never did.
I feel bad for you.
I'm doing my healing.
And you still can't accept
the fact that you did
nothing, nothing to help me.
Mom.
- Today is about his memory.
Don't ruin it.
[somber music]
[crying]
TYLER: Aunt Joyce is here.
JOYCE: Looks so good.
Over here.
You've got great hair.
OK, look at you boys.
- Joy.
- I, uh, needed to talk to you.
All of you, actually.
- How did you--
JOYCE: Doesn't matter.
What matters is that
I owe you an apology.
I should have seen what
this was doing to you.
And I owe you the truth.
Your dad told you
about an affair.
But it wasn't
your mom who had it.
It was your father.
18 years ago.
- What?
I--
- How?
I remember when he was born.
I remember when
you were pregnant.
- I was pregnant.
The little girl who I
lost during the delivery.
JOYCE: Your mom
and dad had already
decided to work things out when
I got pregnant so adoption was--
- Oh, no.
[melancholy music]
- Did you know?
JACKSON: No.
I mean, I remember
when we-- when
I was younger, mom and Aunt
Joy weren't talking
to each other for a while.
And I had no idea why.
But then you were born.
And suddenly, she was
back in our lives.
I was, like, seven.
JOYCE: Every time I
see him, I'm, um--
I'm reminded of the life
he could have had
and the mistakes I made
and how I hurt you.
And then I go.
And it's out
of sight, out of mind.
But you're reminded
every single day.
- Look, I can't even
begin to imagine
what you're feeling right now.
You have every right to be
angry with all of them.
If I were you, I probably
wouldn't even go tonight.
But if you want my opinion--
- Even if I didn't, you'd
give it to me anyway.
- Look, it's just that
for so long, you've
been telling all
of us that you want
to be treated like
an adult. Now it's
time to prove that you are one.
Show them that you can handle
this better than any of them
ever did.
Come here.
[doorbell rings]
- Hi.
- Hi, Cole.
Can I come in?
It's OK.
I mean, it's not.
It's not OK.
You're looking at 100
hours of community service,
but I appreciate it.
Can we talk?
- I didn't mean to hurt him.
- Yeah, I don't want
you to hurt him, either.
But since he's been with
you, he's been happy.
I know you probably don't see
the world of difference you made
in his life because maybe
you've told yourself
you're an obligation.
But you're not.
You know, we can't control
other people's pain, Cole.
Sometimes love-- love is pain.
It sort of reminds
us that we're alive.
There's good pain
and there's bad pain.
The good pain heals.
It makes you stronger.
And sometimes you
need that to grow.
I think somewhere
along the line,
you've convinced yourself
that you don't deserve
to be happy, that
you're better off alone,
and no one gets hurt again.
I see it in you 'cause
I see it in myself.
We deserve happiness, Cole.
We deserve to be cared for.
We deserve real, unconditional
love even if it's terrifying.
Because otherwise, we're just--
just drowning.
[suspenseful music]
- My stepdad died recently.
So I went to the funeral,
be there for my mom.
If there was any ever some
sort of chance of fixing things
between us, it's gone now.
When I was 12, my stepdad
raped me for the first time.
Then it happened 10
times after that.
When I told my mom about it,
she refused to believe it.
She still does.
Everything had to be so fucking
perfect in my family.
And you know what?
I don't care, OK?
I don't care that it happened to
me 'cause it's not like fucking
caring could turn back time.
But my mom, she
should have cared.
She should have cared
enough to fucking help.
- I'm so sorry.
[organ music]
- I'm glad you came.
- Yeah.
- Your hair looks nice.
- It's OK.
I didn't think you'd come.
- Oh, I heard this place
has a nice open bar.
I owe you so much
more than an apology.
I--
JACKSON: I don't want
an apology, Cole.
I just want you.
- I'm madly in love
with you, Jackson.
It terrifies me.
And I have all
these parts of me,
these broken, damaged pieces,
and I want you to see it all.
It's just I don't--
[jonathan sharp, "nicotine"]
You were under my skin
like a slow burn
Didn't know love
could hit like that
- I love you too.
--I'd be the one
to hold your world up
when you started
to collapse
And maybe you knew it too
But you held your breath
like a drag too deep
Like a truth unsaid
You were scared to want me
Scared to need me
Like I was nicotine
- Ty.
- What are you
expecting me to say?
- Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I just-- just hope you
can at least listen, OK?
Look, I know there's
nothing that I can
say that will make this right.
There's no excuse.
- Then don't make one up.
[soft piano music]
- This is why I
haven't said anything
because I've been terrified,
terrified for years
of losing you, hurting you.
- And you thought lying
to me for my whole life
would prevent that?
- When would have been
a good time to tell you?
When would this have
been easy to do?
During the divorce?
Your childhood?
Is it so unreasonable
to understand
that I might have
needed time to figure
out how to deal with this?
All I can say is I love you.
I love you so much.
I always have.
[melancholy music]
TYLER: Thanks for the ride.
COLE: Yeah, no problem.
Actually, Ty, can you
hang back for a sec?
Do you mind?
- No.
- Good.
- Have a good night.
Love you.
- Love you too.
All right, Ty, I
know what's going on.
- Yeah?
And you think you're the person
to be talking to me about it?
I barely even know you.
- Yeah, you're right.
You don't know me.
So let me tell you
a little bit about me.
A few weeks ago, I saw
my mom for the first time
in seven years.
And it will probably be my last.
Her choice, not mine.
- It's not the same thing.
- Yeah, you're right.
It's not.
My mother abandoned me.
Yours has been fighting
for you this entire time.
No one's expecting you
to be OK with all this.
But if you want help,
if you want answers,
there's someone inside there
who will always protect you,
even if you don't recognize
that's what they're doing.
Who will always try
to do the best for you,
even if she makes a mistake.
And who will always
accept you no matter
how much shit you toss at her.
Tyler, you got a choice
to make, all right?
We all have choices.
Just to make sure it's
one you can live with.
All right.
[JONATHAN SHARP, "LEAVE THIS
WORLD LONELY"]
[engine starts]
So take my hand
before it's too late
And don't let me leave
this world lonely
I feel the war
inside your chest
The way you drown
in your own breath
Like loving me might
tear the seams of the life
you built on quiet dreams
But what if the sky
doesn't fall?
What if your heart
was right all along?
What if love
was never wrong?
And running is
Don't let me go where
you won't follow
Don't let the fear
steal our tomorrow
We are more than
borrowed time
More than ghosts
who lived a lie
So take my hand
before it's too late
And don't let me leave
this world lonely
One day, the sun
will set on me
And you will trace
my memory
With shaking hands
and quiet shame
And wish you'd whispered
my name before the silence
took my place
So don't let me go
where you won't follow
Don't let regret
be your tomorrow
We are more than
borrowed time
More than ghosts
who lived a lie
So take my hand
before it's too late
And don't let me leave
this world lonely
You hold your breath
when I get too close
Love was never
meant to be a ghost